krowathon gonna break the previous record by bek for "longest chia has ever stayed for a stream" o7
I'm gonna go to bed now... loossemble drawing will be posted tomorrow
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ok im pretty sure i havent posted them so!! here's jochi + keen, plus a cat!jeffrey as a rendering test. the sketches of both of these are from april. 😳
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the hardest part about having an addictive personality is like. you KNOW you can try to discipline yourself or just keep facing the consequences of the bad thing until you finally steel yourself and say 'no. no more bad thing. because it makes me feel bad'
like you KNOW youre capable of doing it. everyone is. and youve done it... maybe once? twice?
but for you, that resolve to finally stop and recover is locked behind a door that everyone SWEARS has a key and you just need to discipline yourself to find it. but you have disciplined yourself and you have tried everything and your fucking door doesnt have a key. it just doesnt. so you can hardly remember a time when you got to just... say no. and unlock the door
and you know that at SOME rare points in your life you have had something so catastrophically bad happen related to the addiction (usually involving hospitalization or something equally serious) that you broke the fucking locked door down and finally stopped. so you know it CAN be open and you CAN see the other side of that door.
it's just way fucking harder when the key to yours doesnt exist.
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