#ill try my best to capture her personality

[the-reclawmation-studio]

I lost one of my chickens today.

This was Poppy. I found her curled up in her nest, with no obvious signs of death. She was happy and healthy yesterday. I don't know what happened- old age, perhaps.

I will be mounting her next week. This will be my first time mounting an animal I knew, much less one that belonged to me. But I know I can do it.

Goodbye, Poppy. May you rest in peace.

[myfictionaldreams]

I you are interested I wanted to offer a possible request.

It would be a smutty mafia!stucky one (you can pick which one of them or both if you want)

So I was thinking about the reader topping one of them, but not in a dominant way. Like she was good or something and wanted to reward her by letting her pick anything she wanted and she wanted to ride them while they were restrained.

So (whoever was picked) would be bound to the bed with a blindfold and the reader gets to use them for her pleasure with free rain and cause of the blindfold they feel and hear everything more intensely so they can hear how wet she is as she uses them for her reward.

So she's not dominating them just getting a free use card and can move however she wants unprompted, cum how many times she wants, overstimulate (whoever is used) until she is happy and can use toys on herself too but all they can do is lay on the bed restrained and wait for her to be satisfied before being let go.

This came to me so randomly so I thought it might be an option for you maybe if you liked it. Have a nice day!

Being on Top // Mafia!Stucky x Fem!Reader

A/N: I've thought about this request so much. Thank you so much for sending it!

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, angst, anxiety, mention of gunshot wound, free use, voyeurism, multiple orgasms, rough sex, oral (f receiving), cum eating, cockwarming, overstimulation, restraints, blindfolds, vibrator, begging, praise kink, riding, dom/sub, rough cock play, masturbation

Words: 5.2k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

Bucky watched intently. Fighting the urge to blink and wet the dryness itching at his eyes, he continued monitoring the situation before him. You were vacant. Eyes glassed over, and your body curled in on itself like you were attempting to make yourself as small as possible. It wasn’t this that concerned him; it was that you couldn’t look Steve in the eye despite trying to glimpse him out of the corner of your eye every couple of seconds.

Steve was watching with just as much concern as the bodyguards throughout the room, Sam and Natasha. Unbeknown to you, however, your gaze flicked towards Steve again but then swiftly landed on the spot on the carpet that had so thoroughly captured your attention.

Bucky had been trying to work the cogs in his brain for over an hour now, trying to figure out what was happening in your mind. The visible signs of distress he’d witnessed before when you were feeling fragile, whether it be due to being needy and submissive or because you were beginning to feel unwell with sickness. The first was most likely as you were displaying any visible signs of being ill; your heart rate was fine, and the same with your breathing; he knew he’d been counting and listening carefully. For once, he thanked his unique abilities.

The most likely answer was that you were experiencing some sort of mental health decline, but when you were needy or in the form of subspace, you would crawl into either his or Steve’s lap, not look frightened even to look the latter in the eye.

Risking a look away, Bucky caught Steve’s eye. The same level of concern was etched deep into his face; brows furrowed so deeply a line had formed between them. His teeth were clenched so hard that he looked like his jawbone would snap as he held his tongue, trying and failing to think of the right way to approach his girlfriend. The one person who shouldn’t be scared of him now looked as frightened of him as the enemies who cowered at his feet.

Bucky was running out of options as you began to chew on the corner of your recently done red-manicured nails, one of the many treats gifted to you by him and Steve for Valentine’s Day. It was never a good sign when you fell into old habits, and Bucky was on the verge of ripping out his hair and trying to decide what was best. Ask what is going on or approach you like a scared animal.

As his mouth opened, however, a flash of red distorted his view of you as Natasha stood directly in front of where you were curled up on the couch placed in Steve’s office for your comfort.

Natasha looked down at you, giving you a casual grin as she held out her hand with the matching manicure on her nails gleaming back at you, the red almost the same shade as her hair. Your eyes darted between her wiggling fingers and the welcoming smile as she nodded toward the door.

Taking her hand without a single word, you unfolded from your curled-up position and stood, mindlessly following her out of the door. Natasha pulled you into the elevator at the end of the corridor, riding down a couple of floors before arriving at the food hall with a private kitchen. One of the main perks of owning the entire building for the gang was that the sky was the limit concerning the facilities that could be added.

“Sit”, Natasha instructed, pointing to the table closest to the kitchen side as she began to boil some water, pulling out two mugs from the cabinets. “When I was a child, I used to suffer from nightmares, well, I still have nightmares. I’m just old enough now that I can drink something a bit stronger. But back then, when my hair used to be blue, I’d make myself a hot cocoa”. As she finished explaining, she placed a steaming hot drink before you, topping off the sweet beverage with a squirt of cream and marshmallows.

Sitting down opposite you, she took a moment to let you settle in, feeling thankful that you cupped the drink and allowed your hands to warm as you didn’t shut her out.

“Do you ever think about how fragile we all are?” you asked after staring into the mug in your hands.

Natasha frowned, opening her mouth to make a sarcastic comment of ‘not really’ but refrained as she saw the seriousness in your expression. “What’s brought this on?” You didn’t answer at first, but she noted how you uncomfortable shifted in your seat, shoulders hunching forward to mirror how you sat moments ago.

It took her a couple of minutes, but then it all dawned on Natasha as she sat forward in her seat, leaning on her elbows on the table. “Does this have to do with what happened with the boss three days ago?”

She knew she'd guessed right From how your eyes flinched and teeth began biting your lower lip. Steve had been shot whilst out for dinner with you and Bucky. It had been a well-calculated attack, and no one blamed themselves more than Natasha did for not spotting the attacker before it was too late. She was his bodyguard and had yet to fail at her job, and even though it was a superficial wound and, thanks to Steve’s accelerated healing, was already just a pink scar on his abdomen, Natasha still cursed herself.

Steve didn’t blame anyone other than the asshole who shot him and had spent many hours with him the previous night, getting his revenge and delving into all of his secrets. He’d been more concerned and out for revenge due to the distress it had caused you to see Steve shot. Hysterical was putting it lightly.

You’d screamed until your voice croaked, cried until your eyes were swollen, and become completely overwhelmed by the situation, needing to stay by Steve’s side entirely without sleeping until yesterday evening when you’d all but passed out. With Bucky staying by your side, Steve was able to sneak out and finally get his revenge against the shooter, and when he returned, you were swift to motherhen him even though he insisted that he was practically healed and back to normal.

“Talk to me, Sweet. I can’t help unless you tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours”, Natasha encouraged, leaning across the table and grasping your hand.

You sighed, squeezing her hand back as you tried to find the right words to explain your feelings. “I just realised how useless I am. I mean, Steve was shot, and I completely froze; I think all I was able to do was scream. I didn’t even put pressure on the wound or hold his hand. After everything I’ve seen whilst being a part of this gang, you’d think I’d be more aware of intense situations and how to handle myself, but everything just flashed before me and how close I was to losing one of the men I love. And Steve - god, I’m so embarrassed! I’m too scared to look at him properly for fear of seeing shame in his eyes at how I reacted. I mean, what kind of a girlfriend am I to the infamous Steve Rogers, the leader of one of the most dangerous gangs in Brooklyn? I couldn’t handle something he’d been training me to be prepared for. He must have thought I was pathetic”.

“Do you really think I’d ever think that about you?” Steve asked from the doorway with Bucky over his shoulder, both looking defeated.

You were startled at his appearance, cursing his silent steps as you also felt somewhat vulnerable with him having heard your worries. “I, um, I didn’t want you to hear that”.

Steve sighed as he roughly rubbed his palm over his face and stepped further into the room. Natasha stood with a last squeeze of your hand before exiting and patting Bucky on the shoulder as she moved past him and out, leaving the three of you alone.

“Baby, you know I would never think any of those things of you. What happened was a horrible mistake, and I wish more than anything that you weren’t there to witness it. I always want to keep you protected, physically and mentally and trust me, if anything ever happened to you, I’d-” he closed his mouth, eyes clenching in a flinch like even just the thought of you being injured caused him physical pain.

Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve’s shoulder, “The main point here is that you’re both ok. There’s no point dwelling on the past, and we all react differently when we see loved ones hurt, so I don’t want to hear anymore self-doubt coming out of your lips”, Bucky reprimanded whilst giving you a pointed look and pulling himself and Steve closer towards you.

You couldn’t help but squeal as he moved back your chair, turning it to face them as they each pulled their chairs close enough that their knees brushed yours. Steve cupped your hands, lifting them to his lips to kiss your fingers and palms. “Please don’t shut me out, and next time you have any anxiety over what's happened, you need to talk to me, Sweetheart”, Steve urged whilst maintaining eye contact that you didn’t break this time.

“I will; I’m sorry” Without missing a beat, you closed the distance and kissed him deeply as he wrapped his arms around your back, pulling your body into his lap so he could hold you close.

“God, you two are going to make me cry in a minute”, Bucky suddenly announced, leaning back in his chair and wiping away an imaginary tear from his eye. Steve rolled his eyes as he held you closer with one hand and reached out with the other for Bucky to take, which he did with a smirk, removing the now empty chair so that he could be knee to knee with Steve and place his metal hand on your lower back.

“As much as I love my life, I sometimes hate how dramatic it is”,  Steve mused a second later as he kissed the side of your head.

“Mmm, I agree - shit, this drink is good”, Bucky half shouted as he drank more of the cocoa in the mug as you turned towards him with an amused smile. He looked at you and paused mid-sip, “This is yours, isn’t it?” he realised out loud before swearing and slamming the mug back onto the table. “Shit, sorry, I thought it was Romanoff’s. I’ll buy you a special treat on our way home, which I think we need to discuss, by the way”.

Steve sat up straight in his chair, causing you to move slightly in his lap as he gave Bucky a questioning stare, “What’s wrong with home?”

“Nothing’s wrong with home; why do you always assume the worst?” Bucky questioned with his head tilted to the side, catching your eye and winking before continuing. “I was just thinking that maybe the two of you need some special time alone tonight”.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere either”, you say quickly, not wishing to be separated from either of them.

Bucky’s fingers reassuringly added pressure to your back as he gently shook his head, showing the misunderstanding. “I didn’t mean it like that, Doll. I just meant maybe you two could have some fun together, and luckily for you two, I have something in mind”.

Bucky’s plan for you and Steve resulted in the two of you hours later being naked in your bedroom with him watching in a chair.

“Remind me why I’m handcuffed again?” Steve asked with a sarcastic drawl from where he lay in the centre of the bed, his head carefully resting on the fluffed pillows and both wrists handcuffed above his head around the bed frame.

“Well, you tend to be all dominate and in charge when you’re having sex, and I think our sweet girl needs some reminding that you’re ok, you’re safe, and what better way for her to do that than her to be in control of how she touches your body?” Bucky explains nonchalantly as he rubs a hand over his growing bulge in his underwear, the rest of his clothes in a pile on the floor.

“Ok, that makes sense, but why the blindfold?” Steve asked, tilting his head toward where Bucky was sitting but couldn’t see with the thick black cloth tied around his head covering his eyesight.

“Ah well, that's just fun for me; I get to watch our beautiful girl at work; you get to feel it. I mean, I need to have some fun tonight”, Bucky responded cheekily as you smiled whilst trying to adjust your weight from where you sat naked, straddling Steve’s chest.

“I’m um, I’m not very good at being in charge” You tried to hide the quiver in your voice, but instantly, your cheeks began to warm with embarrassment.

Bucky leaned forward in his chair, capturing your attention fully as he gave you a reassuring smile, “Like I explained, Sweetheart. All I want you to think about is your pleasure. You can get yourself off, fuck Steve, use toys, whatever you’d like to feel good but don’t worry about Stevie, boy; he can handle whatever you’re going to give him”.

“I sure as fuck can” Steve grinned as he rolled his hips, causing you to gasp and lean forward, putting your hands out onto his shoulders to stop yourself from falling.

“Hey! None of that now, Rogers. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride,” Bucky grinned, showing his straight teeth as it was your turn to roll your eyes before focusing your attention on Steve.

One of the reasons you were never the one to be in charge, other than you were submissive down to the very bone, was that you were unsure what to do. To Steve and Bucky, it seemed to come so quickly for them, knowing where to touch, the next move to have you groaning in pleasure, but sitting there staring down at Steve, you were unsure where to touch him or how to start. Do you just slide a few inches back and sit on his already hard cock? Do you suck his cock for a bit or jerk him off? But what if he came and you overstimulated him?

“I can see you are overthinking over there. Remember what I said; think about your pleasure only”, Bucky reminded you quietly.

Nodding your head, you took a moment to stare down at Steve, and the events over the last few days dawned on you. Even though he’d survived significantly worse in his life, you couldn't help but contemplate just how close to losing everything you’d ever dreamed of and needed. Having him here, beneath you, living and breathing.

Before you could lose yourself to the overwhelming emotions threatening to spill over, you decided to clear your mind of those negative thoughts by lowering your mouth to his. The two of you released a breath simultaneously as Steve eagerly pressed his face firmly against yours, his head lifting off the pillow slightly.

It wasn’t a desperately messy kiss, full of tongues and saliva. It was a kiss that had the moment standing still as your hand rested over his heart, feeling the beat beneath, having the reminder that he was still here with you.

Pulling back from the kiss so that you were hovering over his face, you whispered intimately, “I love you”.

“I love you too,” was his instant response in the same calm tone, like a whisper in the wind.

Swallowing the emotional lump in your throat, you briefly pecked his lips once before trailing kisses down his chin and exploring the column of his throat, smiling as you felt him swallow beneath your lips. With your hands, you trailed your fingertips down his arms, feeling goosebumps lining his skin as you moved to meet where your mouth met his skin.

Slowly as you could, you kissed your way down his chest, making sure to lick and nip his peaked nipples, enjoying the little gasps he released as you contemplated that you’d never noticed how sensitive his nipples actually were. Further down, you moved as your legs shifted between him, making sure that his legs were spread so that you could fit between him perfectly.

As your lips continued giving open-mouthed kisses over his abs, you aimed for the pink scar close to his hip bone. The kiss pressed to the recently claimed gunshot injury that had even lightened in the shade since this morning with his accelerated healing. Steve’s legs tensed as he tried to refrain from thrusting his hips into the air as your breasts pressed against his thick length that you were attempting to ignore whilst worshipping his body.

“This is a cute moment and all, but I wanna see you cum already, Doll”, Bucky groaned impatiently as you looked at him over your shoulder as he sat with his hands clenched in his lap, as he continued to refrain from touching himself even though he was evidently very much aroused.

You smile against Steve’s skin and take one last breath of his natural body scent that had mixed with the spicy aftershave he’d used earlier this morning. Taking your time, you shift back to your original position of sitting across his abs, carefully sitting above the fresh scar that was still sensitive.

“I think I want to put these chiselled abs to good work”, you say whilst stroking a finger down them, laughing to yourself as Steve tensed, defining them even more solidly. Relaxing the position of your thighs, you sighed as your wetness now rested against his abdomen.

It wasn’t as satisfying as humping against his thigh because of the flat shape of his toned body, but that didn’t stop you from riding him slowly, making sure to really drag your clit in small circles against his body.

Your moans were breathy and gentle as your pleasure bloomed in your core, especially as Steve struggled to keep his emotions and body in heck beneath.

Licking his lips, he admitted, “I really fucking wish I could see you right now”.

“Oh, don’t you worry, big boy, she looks beautiful, there’s no doubt about that”, Bucky responded as he finally moved his black boxers to midthigh, his hand wrapped around his shaft as he matched the pace you were driving.

Deciding you needed something that had more definition than his perfectly sculpted abdomen, you shifted back down the bed until your cunt was flushed with Steve’s shaft that was hard and resting against his pubic bone. There was already a patch of precum that had pooled, and without thinking, you scooped it up with your finger and sucked the juices, savouring the musky saltiness.

“Holy shit”, Bucky cursed as his eyelids lowered in arousal.

Steve was trembling with restraint now as you began to slide your warm cunt against his shaft, making sure not to go over the tip as you wanted to savour the feel of his length first before fucking yourself on him.

In this position, you were quickly coating his cock in your juices, helping to prepare him for when you did want to sit on his cock, which, in fairness, would probably be soon with how horny you were feeling.

Faster and with more pressure, you ground down on his shaft until the burning in your core exploded, your cunt pulsing around nothing as you shivered through the sensation, breathing deeply with soft moans.

Leaning your hands on his chest, you shifted your hips forward, catching the tip of his cock against your pussy and continuing with the slow movements, not wanting to rush the adrenaline and burn that came with his cock thoroughly stretching your walls.

“So fucking tight”, Steve cursed, pressing his head back further into the pillow as the veins in his arms bulged as he restrained himself from easily snapping out of the handcuffs.

You couldn’t think of coherent words to respond, so sighed in satisfaction, taking a moment to savour the sensation. Eventually, though, the hunger for more became ravenous as you began to lift yourself off of his cock and then slam back onto him.

It was different riding him like this; usually, if you were on top, he’d either have a hand around your throat or his hands gripping your hips tightly and directing your movements. With all the movements being down to just your body, it was almost like having a life-size sex toy that moaned and breathed.

Additionally, it meant that you could really draw out the orgasm that was already threatening to suffocate around his cock as you rode him with slamming hips. Eventually, it all came too much, and with one hand on his chest and the other gripping your breast to squeeze the flesh, you had your second orgasm and a shiver of pleasure.

“You’re so fucking big”, you moaned as you attempted to catch your breath but settled for a different motion instead of riding up and down. Keeping your hips flush with his so that his balls rested against your arse, you began to circle your hips clockwise and then anticlockwise.

Steve gasped as his chest heaved with the attempt of arching his back. “Wait, Steve, shut up for a second”, Bucky demanded, and the three of you stopped making moaning noises, but you continued with your grinding and hip circles, which was when you could hear it too. The obscene sounds of your gushing cunt, sloshing and slurping with the movements. It felt incredible to be so full of Steve, but hearing how much this move was making him lose his mind only motivated you through feeling breathless.

“Holy shit, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard, but if you keep doing that, I’m going to cum”, Steve grunted, his mouth hanging open so that his grunts of pleasure were unfiltered. Bucky was just as vocal from where he sat, getting himself off.

“I want you to cum; please cum for me, Sir”, you begged as Steve moaned at the nickname used. As his dick hardened inside of you, your fingers quickly began to circle your drenched clit matching the movements of your hips as you joined him by cumming at the same time, squeezing his shaft with your walls and milking his cock internally.

It felt unbelievably satisfying to feel the liquid filling you entirely and having no other room but to leak out of the sides and onto his pubic area. Your thighs have tightened so tightly around Steve’s body you were sure if he didn’t have his healing ability, you’d have caused bruises from where your knees had dug into his side.

He never complained once, though, as he tried to catch his breath just as desperately as you were. Slumping forward, your face rested against his chest, directly over his heart so that you could listen to the wild racing of his heart. You were exhausted from riding his cock, and for a moment, you determined the fantastic shape he was in was probably down to being on top all the time.

Your thighs and abdomen muscles ached as you determined you needed a little break from the riding but not from the orgasm, and even though you were feeling a little overstimulated internally, you were somewhat determined to see how far you could go.

Reaching blindly on the bed, you found the vibrating wand and moved it between your bodies until it rested against your clit. With Steve’s cock still somehow still hard, you remained with him inside of you as you turned on the vibrator.

Steve groaned as the vibrations were felt through not just his pubic mound but also your cunt as both were stimulated by the powerful toy. It wasn’t even on the highest setting, but it was enough to take your breath away at first, soon, you settled down, content with simply lying there until an orgasm built.

For a moment, you contemplated releasing Steve from his handcuffs so that he could wrap his big arms around you, but you knew that once he was free from those handcuffs, it would be a free-for-all.

One orgasm spiralled into two, and you had to push the vibrator away as the ache deepened within your cunt. You were exhausted and on the verge of becoming entirely too overstimulated for the orgasms.

“I- I don’t think I can cum again”, you admit whilst gently rocking yourself against Steve’s cock.

“Could I make one request?” Steve asks whilst licking his lips, his voice just as deep as it is when he first wakes up.

“Hmm?” you say in response.

“Sit on my face. I know you’ve had enough, you don’t have to cum, and if it hurts, I’ll stop, but I wanna taste you so bad right now”, Steve pleaded.

“How could I say no to that request”, you muse. Carefully and with a great deal of mess, you slipped off of his throbbing cock, which twitched in the air as his and your juices continued to drip out of your cunt and down his shaft.

With the way you’d climbed off, you ended up kneeling over his face so that you were facing down his body, staring and admiring his cock until the other man in the room caught your attention as Bucky kneeled on the bed.

Just as you lowered your soaking cunt onto Steve’s hot mouth, Bucky reached forward and began to stroke Steve’s cock. The mafia boss beneath you nearly choked on his own cum as he drank down the juices flowing out of you but soon found a rhythm, and as his hips rolled to meet the strokes of Bucky's metal fist, his tongue and lips matched this.

Reaching forward, you pulled Bucky in for a desperate kiss, his tongue brushing against yours, dominating in every way. With the taste of your cunt in his mouth and Bucky’s fist, Steve was cumming again as Bucky carefully caught the thick white seed in his fist, licking up every drop that Steveall but screamed out with his orgasm.

This time, you watched as his cock softened, and carefully you crawled off his face with the help of Bucky’s steady and damp hands. With Bucky’s lips against yours, he stated, “I know you’re not done yet, get back on him”.

Pulling back, you looked down at Steve’s clammy body and the pink blush that had hued over his chest as you determined, “Won’t I hurt him if I sit on his overstimulated cock?”

Steve answered for Bucky, “Fuck no, you won’t hurt me. Get back on Princess”, he pleads desperately. Turning back to face Steve, you try and angle his soft cock at your entrance, but it wouldn’t go back in as Steve cursed at the handling.

“Are you sure I’m not hurting you?” you asked fearfully.

“Yes, I’m sure just- I don’t know. Buck, grip me hard in your fist or something,” he responded, sounding frustrated with his body for a second. You had to bite your lip as Bucky shrugged and gripped Steve’s flaccid cock in his hand, causing the blonde to gasp and arch his back, nearly knocking you over in the process. “Yeah, just like that.”

“You know Steve, some would call you a freak for getting off on pain like that”, Bucky joked half-heartedly as his fist began pumping up and down the hardening cock in his hand.

“Yeah, well, you’re one to talk”, Steve sassed back as he finally became hard enough that you could slide back down his cock. “Just a warning if I cum again, I’ll probably be shooting air out”.

Again, you had to bite your lip to hold back the laugh from Steve’s admission. Bucky led beside the two of you, reaching over to tilt Steve’s blindfolded face towards him. “I thought you could go all night? What’s the point in having all of these special abilities if you’re already shooting blanks after two orgasms”, Bucky contemplated.

“Yeah, well, you have her sit on your cock and see how long you last, asshole”, Steve bite back earning a chuckle from Bucky as you watched them both fondly, trying to get to find a good rhythm to move your body, opting for a slow in and out and circle of your hips.

The soaking noises of your wet cunt began to fill the atmosphere once more as Steve and Bucky started to make out, dimming the noise of their moans. Bucky eased back and whispered into Steve’s ear, “Do you hear how wet she is? Best you can feel it, how sopping wet our girl is. Aw, poor thing she’s getting tired”, Bucky smirks as you frown at him. You were exhausted, but you weren’t letting that stop your movements, by the way, Bucky was winking at you, you knew he was up to something.

Steve gritted his teeth, almost growling as he contemplated his next move, and you realised Bucky was antagonising him as the next second, Steve’s snapping out of the handcuffs. You’re suddenly on your back in the middle of the bed as he rolls the two of you over.

Steve’s face delves into the crook of your neck as your legs are instantly pushed back so that your knees nearly brush against your chest as he completely crowds around you. Clearly having driven him to his limit, Steve did not hold back; he began to fuck you with unfathomably hard and fast thrusts.

His cock was a blur as it pounded into your drenched cunt. All you could do was cling to him, nails scratching into the skin of his shoulders and then up to his jaw, pulling his face back so that you could push his blindfold up that was still covering his eyesight. He blinked down at you, groaning at the sight beneath him as he kissed you feverishly.

You were stuck between kissing, moaning and trying to gasp for breath as your orgasm plummeted through your cunt until you were close to sobbing with the overwhelming emotions. Steve’s powerful body fucked you deep into the bed until he was deeply crying out your name with the trembling effects of his third orgasm. From the feeling of it, he definitely wasn't shooting blanks as more of his seed oozed out of your well-used cunt.

He remained on top of you for a while, his body keeping yours warm as you breathed one another in, but eventually, he was moved onto his side by a gentle hand of Bucky’s.

“Come on, big boy, I need you to move over so I can clean you both up”, the brunette explained as he sat on the bed with a warm washcloth. Steve sighed in contentment but remained with his arms around your torso as he observed Bucky clean up his sensitive flaccid cock.

As Bucky moved between your legs, you tiredly gasped, “Wait, you didn’t get to cum, Bucky”.

Bucky grinned up at you, leaning down to kiss your cheek as he explained, “Oh, don’t worry, I did, twice. You should see the back of Steve; think I might have got some in his hair as he was fucking you into next week”.

Steve quietly cursed before chuckling as he reached a hand behind his head, “Well, the sheets are thoroughly ruined for tonight then”.

[croucify]

hiii, can I request something for Dominic like? just whatever idrc, ill be happy with everything

✶ number one fan — dominic fike x reader

SUMMARY: you're supporting your boyfriend while he performs on stage

WARNINGS: simp dom idk i love him

A/N: SOMEONE FINALLY REQUESTING FOR DOM!!!! he is my pinoy king BAHAHA hope u enjoy this one <3

the tour was coming to an end. almost three months of traveling with your boyfriend and his crew.

tonight was his last night to perform and the first night you won’t be watching his performance behind the corner and with the crowd.

“are you sure you wanna watch there? i don’t want you getting hurt,” he said, curls covering his eyes as he double-checked his laces.

you smile softly before putting on your lipstick. “i’ll be fine, i promise.” he stands up from the couch and wraps his arms around your waist, placing kisses on your neck.

you hum as he kisses you before he captures your newly painted lips for a kiss. you pull away quickly, a hand on his cheek, frowning when you see your lipstick smudged on and over his lips.

“dom, why’d you do that!” you act like you were upset but a smile was tugging at your lips as you wiped the stain off his face.

he proceeds to reach for your lips but you avoid it, making him laugh as you try your best to keep him away from your lips.

“baby, just—just let me have at least a part of you for everyone to see when i’m on stage.” he said, in between laughs. suddenly, he wraps an arm around your waist and holds you close to him.

he was peppering kisses all over your neck and jaw while he tickled you. “okay, okay! fine, i will please stop!” you managed to say in between giggles then he placed one last peck on your lips.

his hands were still on your waist and yours were now wrapped around his neck. you give in and kiss him longer than he did earlier.

when you felt his tongue in your mouth you pulled away, making him groan. you pulled him closer than you two already were and kissed his jaw down to his neck, purposely leaving a kiss mark on his neck that would be visible while he performed. you bite the skin gently before pulling away from him.

“there you go.” your arms are now on his shoulders and face him in front of the mirror before reapplying your lipstick.

dominic wiped off the stained lipstick on his face but kept the one you had left on his neck, treating it like an accessory.

during the concert, you had the best time of your life. some fans recognized you and took photos with you, you were able to see how your boyfriend’s music helped people and were able to connect with them through it.

it warmed your heart.

especially at this moment with the crowd singing along with him.

when the song ended, he was looking around the venue, his curls getting into his view.

despite the number of people there, his eyes still found its way to you. his energy immediately changed when he saw you, even smiling when you blew him a kiss from where you were standing.

he runs a hand through his hair, getting the curls away then walks back to the microphone.

“alright so for this next one, i made this song with my friend kevin which my girlfriend, y/n loves so much. i dedicate this to her. i love you, thank you for making everything feel so secure and for everything you've done in the past years." dominic says, smiling widely at you before he starts playing the chords on his guitar.

the fans screamed after he spoke and started playing the song.

you felt like the only person in the venue, locking eyes with dominic despite him being far from where you were sat yet he continued singing the song to you.

once the song ended, he mentioned you once again. "that was peach, thank you everyone—i love my girlfriend."

[damn-stark]

Chapter 16 The last supper

Chapter 16 of Sugar

A/N- Hakari and Kirara are in this chapter, they’re the best kids, the best.

Warning- Swearing, angst, FLUFF!! Talks of death, smoking and alcohol, spoilers, slow burn, long chapter.

Pairing- Choso x fem!reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Takes place during- 2x06, 2x07, and only the very beginning of 2x08

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

The water droplets feel cold when they hit your skin, they’re hard and fall fast enough that they create a soft and pleasurable rhythmic song as they fall.

Normally there’s people who tend to run and find cover or hide under an umbrella as soon as the rain trickles down, but you’ve never minded the feeling of the rain; even if it can be cold, and you don’t like being cold, so. You don’t mind getting yourself soaked either even if it means drenching your clothes.

The sound of the rain relaxes you, the sound of waves crashing brings you comfort, and the view of the rain droplets dancing down from the sky has a way of bringing you ease. And that’s probably due to your connection with water.

However, today the sound of the water and the sight of the clear droplets doesn’t help the stupid ill-feeling brewing inside your guy. Maybe it’s the mission Itadori and his friends got sent to today to capture the mole; that same mole that helped the curses sneak into the school, and the same mole that is leaking information to curse users, but you can’t seem to find pleasure in the rain’s song or its view.

Something doesn’t feel right, but here’s hoping that you’re wrong. You want to be wrong.

“Hey…Geto,” the sound of Fushiguro’s voice catches you off guard, not because he called you by your…husband's name, but because ever since you met he doesn’t really make conversation with you like the others, he’s really quiet and reserved. Something that his father never was in that short interaction you had.

“Yes,” you give him your attention.

Fushiguro briefly meets your gaze before he looks at the parking garage where you’re supposed to meet Utahime. Hopefully, Satoru let her know you were coming or else you’re going to get a startled reaction, which honestly looks funny on Utahime, she’s so dramatic. It’s funny and adorable.

“That day we met,” he continues. “You said that I looked like him…were you referring to my father?”

Oh? No. No. Has Satoru not told him?! Please kid don’t ask about your father.

“I remember Gojo mentioned something like that when we met,” Fushiguro adds and finally lifts his head to meet your gaze.

You hold his gaze for a moment with confusion, but you can’t help but nod softly. “Yes, I was…why?”

Fushiguro shrugs and blinks to look at his friends ahead of you. “I was just curious…did you meet my father too?”

You nod stiffly and try to avoid anything too informative because this is Satoru’s kid, not yours. If he hasn’t told him then it’s for a good reason, you won’t be the one to break that.

“Once,” you tell Fushiguro. “Or twice, I guess. He came to see my brother once when we were children, and I guess I passed by him and I didn’t know. We met again years later, but that’s it.”

Please don’t ask. Please don’t ask.

Fushiguro hums and you try to read his face for his reaction to what you just shared, but he keeps on that nonchalant expression that’s always painted on his face and simply nods stiffly. You don’t dare and try to further this conversation, it’s not your place.

And luckily before he could try and ask or say anything else you reach the parking garage that connects to some storage units? Or some kind of storage things. And the first person your eyes land on is Utahime.

She looks older, her hair is longer and she has longer bangs. You also notice a scar across her face which makes her look badass. And just like you predicted her expression upon seeing you is different; whereas she’d be content seeing you before, now you receive a bitter and hardened gaze.

“Utahime,” you greet with the same warmth that you’d greet her with those many years ago. “Long time no see, you look nice.” You grin.

Utahime lets out a soft sigh and her shoulders tense. “I’d say it’s a pleasure,” she counters spitefully. “But it’s really not.”

You can’t help but shoot her a smirk and nod in comprehension. “Understandable.”

“Don’t patronize me,” she says through gritted teeth.

You laugh softly and when you reach her you simply pat her shoulder before you step aside to let them work. After all, you’re basically a shadow.

“This way,” Utahime moves on with the mission and leads you and the students about halfway down the garage before stopping and interjecting with a question. “You’ve heard from Gojo about the person leaking intel, right?”

“Yes,” all three students answer at the same time.

“There’s probably two or more people in contact with the curse users,” Utahime adds, “one would be a higher-up, well above the principal.”

You scoff with amusement under your breath, but Utahime hears you and shoots you a warning glare before continuing.

“I won’t be able to do anything about that one. The other would be someone passing the information up to the higher-up,” she explains as she lifts a finger from both hands. “That one is our current target. They’re only a suspect at this point, so we’ll capture them and then interrogate them.”

You fold your arms over your chest and lean back against a pillar, whilst Nobara speaks up with a question. “So who from Kyoto is it?”

“Oh?!” Itadori exclaims in surprise.

“That’s why you asked those of us from Tokyo, right?” Nobara adds and only seems to impress Itadori more.

“Kugisaki, you’re incredible.”

“The mole is…” Utahime pauses and as you drift your eyes over to her you see that she looks uncomfortable and displeased. “Mechamaru.”

One of her students you assume? A wrinkle forms between her eyebrows, and a small frown is formed on her lips.

You can’t imagine it was easy hearing that one of your own students that’s right under your nose is the mole. Then again a student being hidden away from the rest of the world is a perfect mole. They could’ve manipulated him, and even if they didn’t you wouldn’t blame him for taking the path he chose.

You do put all the blame on the higher-ups though. They like to act all high and mighty like they’re above it all, but they’re not, and what’s worse but not surprising is that they turn out to betray what they’re supposed to be protecting.

“And they say I’m the bad one,” you try to get in a conversation with Utahime, while she continues to lead the way towards a single door nearby. “A higher-up working for a curse-user…can’t say I’m surprised.”

“You are bad,” she quips. “You’re a cult leader and a curse-user.”

You shake your finger. “Ah, ah,” you quickly interject loudly so she can hear you. “Retired curse-user and it was not a cult. That word is so…” you pause and stick out your tongue in disgust. “…wrong. It was a religious facility. And! It was Suguru’s, I helped build it up, sure, so it was like, uh, 20 or 10 percent my baby, but I wasn’t the founder or the leader. He was.”

Utahime twists her head back and her displeasure and

anger for you only deepens, making the corner of your lips pull to a deeper smirk.

“Not like it matters now though,” you add quieter and with a hint of sadness in your tone. “It’s all done.”

Utahime answers with silence and stops by the door to open it and step inside. Itadori and Fushiguro let Nobara pass before them, and then they try to make you walk first, but you’re here for Itadori, you’re his shadow, not his partner right now, so after some passed and pointed glances both guys walk inside in a room, letting you walk in last and close the door behind you.

However, that turns out to be a mistake because the only source of light inside is an ominous red light over a single metal door. That’s all, no ceiling lights, no bright natural light casting in.

“Mechamaru’s real body, Kokichi Muta,” Utahime breaks the tension that you alone feel as this place gives you the creeps. “Is in this basement here. Now, it’s not like he’s suspicious. It’s more that everyone else wasn’t. So the process of elimination leaves with Mechamaru.”

When Utahime slowly opens the door, Itadori is the first to barge in as if nothing. You then all follow after him, which, by the way, this hall you walk into isn’t any better. It smells like mold, the light above is a dim and dull white-green color. And the further you walk in the worse it seems to get. At least to you anyway.

“Mechamaru’s technique is puppet manipulation,” Utahime continues to inform the students and you because this is all new to you too. “Though, thanks to his heavenly pact, the range he can manipulate puppets extends throughout Japan. If he has any unregistered puppets then he could do the work of the mole as much as he wanted.”

“Really?” You probe curiously even though you know you shouldn’t right now.

“That kid stood out a lot to me,” Itadori mutters.

“Even if the puppet was the size of a fly or a mosquito,” Utahime interjects.

“I see. But those are options too, huh?” Itadori asks while Utahime begins to slow down as you all approach a door.

“We’re here.” She points as she comes to a stop.

You draw in a deep breath and fist your hands as Utahime slowly turns the knob just in case this kid tries to tackle all of you with his puppets.

However, when she opens the door and everyone rushes inside you come to see an abandoned room. A smelly abandoned room.

“Uh,” Itadori rolls out awkwardly.

“He got us,” Utahaime mumbles out.

“Though,” Fushiguro breaks his silence. “On the other hand…”

“Now we’re certain it’s Mechamaru,” Nobara finishes saying for her friend.

No signs of struggle to indicate that he could be taken. All that’s left is tubing hanging off the ceiling, and a horrendous stench. It’s almost too calm, too quiet.

“Well,” you sigh and pull out a cigarette box to swiftly push one in between your lips. “Nothing to do with this but look over our shoulders.” You put your box away and light the cigarette with a flame you summon to your finger. “Something's brewing and we just lost our foot inside.”

You walk out of the room and everyone quickly follows.

“Don’t you have contacts?” Utahime finally addresses you. “Friends? It’s said that one of the curses might be someone dressed as a monk.”

You suck in your cheeks as you take a drag and shake your head. “No,” you breathe out as you pull the cigarette out of your mouth. “What? Just because Suguru dressed as a monk means I know them? It was an act to get the non-sorcerers curses, that's all. We didn’t actually know anyone who was a monk.”

Utahime picks up her pace to fall beside you, but as she walks in the cloud of smoke she tries to quickly wave it away.

“Can’t you just ask around?” She insists.

You look away to think while you take in another drag. Just as you’re about to take it out, Utahime reaches over and pulls the cigarette out of your mouth for you and stomps it out, making you pout softly.

“It’s not a habit,” you defend yourself as puffs of smoke escape out of your mouth. “I do it occasionally.”

“That doesn’t matter, can you?” She presses.

You let out a deep breath and nod stiffly. “I have friends. And if there’s a sketchy sorcerer then perhaps someone at the fighting club knows…” you mumble to yourself before you look at her and nod with an assuring smile playing on your lips “I’ll ask around for something, but what is it that I’m looking for exactly?”

Utahime shrugs. “All these curses, Mechamaru, and the higher-up work for someone, a curse-user who installs some kind of authority and fear. They’re up to something so they probably need any help they can get. Start there.”

You scoff and nod slowly. “All right. I’ll ask.”

She nods softly. “Thanks,” she mutters.

You steal a glance at her and hum. An idea comes to mind but you quickly shoot that down since what you have planned is for people you’re closer with, family and closer friends.

She was a friend, but you can sense the tension, and you see the way she looks at you, you’re no friend of hers. Not anymore.

Thus, you just leave it be and stay quiet. You bask in that silence and just think about the mess that’s spreading as you return to the school with your hands empty.

If only Suguru was here to help. To at least calm down your nerves even if everything isn’t okay. Why can’t he be here too? Why did he have to die and why do you have to face all this alone now?

You exhale and before you know it Ijichi parks the car to let you and the students off at the school entrance. Before you can get out though, you lean over towards him.

“Hey, I’m having dinner at my house tomorrow since the kids want to go see the community, come,” you invite him too. “I invited Nanami and my brother, of course, Ieiri will be there.” You wiggle your eyebrows playfully. “So come, yeah? Make sure my brother gets there in time.” You laugh softly.

Ijichi blinks in surprise and his cheeks begin to grow red. “M-me?” He questions.

You nod. “Yes, you. Why not? We were good friends once when I was in school. So you better come!” You pull back and slide off your seat to get out of the car. “Be there!” You shout over your shoulder one last time before you look over at the school entrance and see the woman you hoped you’d see.

“It better be something good,” she throws out as you change your pace to a jog to meet her with an embrace.

“Well, I’ll tell you now,” you tell her and step back. “It’s not a bar. I do have to go home for dinner.”

“You smell like cigarettes,” she points out and follows after you as you lead her to your motorcycle.

“Stress cigarette,” you mumble. “And I’m sorry about the ride. I didn’t plan to have passengers.”

“Ah, just something else that makes you look cooler;” she teases.

You flash her a smile. “It was part of my training. Yuki and I built a motorcycle.”

“Exactly how does that help?” Shoko probes as you hand her an extra helmet.

You stop what you’re doing to tap your chin as you think. “I don’t remember why exactly, but I remember it working.” You drop your hand and wink at Shoko. “Don’t worry, baby, I’m an excellent driver.”

Shoko looks at you with hesitance as she debates whether to believe you or not. But then again she has no other choice so she sits behind you and lets you take her to a place you only vaguely explained.

——

*LATER*

“Where are we anyways?” Shoko finally gets the chance to ask.

You put the helmets away and lead her to a multiple-story building. “Fight Club,” you finally let her know.

Albeit she doesn’t believe you so she scoffs and retorts. “I’m serious.”

You peer back and nod. “So am I. This is a fight club.”

You walk up to the door and knock once before the slit on the door opens and grey eyes peek out. They don’t say anything when they see you, they just look back and then close the slit again before they open the door for you.

“Come on,” you invite her in. “It’s early so it’s quiet right now.”

Shoko looks at you with a puzzled look, but she doesn’t hesitate to trust you and follow you at your side. After you ride the elevator to the top of the building she finally continues on with the questions you felt her wanting to ask.

“So this is what you do now that you don’t run a cult?” She asks as she studies the hallway. “Fight clubs?”

You scoff. “The word cult is so wrong. It was a religious facility. And second,” you motion with your fingers. “This isn’t really my fight club, I just, uh, financially support it. Think of me as a godmother of this place,” you say with a cocky half-smile.

Shoko hums and continues inquiring. “Then who owns this place?”

You reach the private parlor room and simply shoot her a smirk before you knock on the door just in case. You don’t want to walk into some nasty stuff.

“Come in!” You hear a happy familiar voice welcome you in.

You smile and open the door, and the moment you walk in you’re greeted with a warm and happy welcome. “Master!”

You beam. “Hello my star children,” you greet Kirara and Hakari.

Rather than coming to greet you by the door, they stay seated on the couch as they watch Shoko walk in.

“Don’t worry we can trust her,” you assure them while you close the door behind your friend.

“Kirara? Hakari?” Shoko asks quietly in disbelief.

You walk further in and nod with glee. “Yeah. Didn’t my brother tell you? I’ve been training them for the past year. They’re the owners of this club.”

“Secret club,” Kirara blurts. “So don’t be going around and talking to anyone at the school about it.”

You sit on the expensive chair behind the expensive dark wooden desk and sit back smugly. “I just wanted to show off to someone our work here,” you add. “All the investors that invested in Suguru’s facilities now invest here in exchange for us to do their dirty work of course.”

“So,” Shoko rolls out and slowly makes her way to the seat across from the pair. “You’ve brought students in to do your dirty work now? You sound like your brother.”

You chuckle dryly and shake your head. “It’s nothing they don’t want to do. We all work for something, Ieiri, it’s how the world works. They wanted something so I gave it to them, but they know that in order to keep it and be on top, they have to work for it. Besides, staying at home would bore me half to death. I need to stay busy while I’m still young.”

Shoko hums and watches you for something in particular, when she can’t find it due to the wall you put up she just stays quiet.

“Now do you want something to drink? Water, snack? You get it for free.” You laugh breathlessly.

Shoko shakes her head. “No. Now why am I here exactly?”

“I told you,” you say and lean in towards the desk to pick up a file. “I wanted to show this off and I wanted you to get out of the school for a while. God knows you work too much for them. But I will have to ask you not to go on and talk about this. This club is a secret underground kinda thing.”

“You’re not looking for a job now are you doc?” Hakari breaks his silence. “We could use a good doctor here. And you’re great.”

“We’d pay you double,” Kirara pitches in.

Shoko laughs and shrugs before sitting back. “I’ll think about it.”

“Now,” you change the subject and open the file to take out one photo of a blond ponytail guy. “Is this it?”

Hakari gets off the couch and walks to your side and nods. “Yep. No one else has stood out, just that scrawny pathetic-looking thing.”

You pick up the photo and study the skinny guy with a black cloth that covers half of his body. You also notice that he has three marks under his eyes, but that’s all that stands out. He’s pretty average-looking.

But you can’t be fooled by that.

“He simply wrote Haruta at the entrance and that’s it. He didn’t fight either, the cameras just picked on him watching the fights.”

You let out a deep breath and sit back to think.

“Probably scooping place,” Shoko interjects.

“Did security detect any extra cameras or any other stuff he carried?” You ask.

Hakari shakes his head. “Asked and he said no. He only came that one night too. Hasn’t returned since.”

“Alone?”

“Yep. Or so that’s what he made us believe.”

You look up at the ceiling and try to figure something out even though this piece of information is practically nothing.

“No one suspicious has come to visit either,” Kirara adds. “But remind me again why you’re working to look for this mole, master?” They ask with concern. “You’re practically working for the school and the higher-ups if you help them.”

“The mole thing is leading to something bigger,” you explain. “Something bigger means danger to all of us, not just the school. We’ve worked hard for what we've built, this potential threat can endanger that. So it’s not for them, it’s for me, you, Harkari, my community, and my girls. That’s what.”

“Besides she doesn’t work for anyone,” Hakari says in your defense, making you smile and look over at him. “So this labor is just a hobby.”

You chuckle and put your fist out so he can meet it halfway with a fist pump. “Nicely put.” You compliment.

“Suck up,” Kirara coughs out.

“Aw I get it now,” Shoko adds with a sly laugh. “You’re a mobster. My own little mobster.”

You pick up the landline phone and shoot her a smirk. “Got to keep the money coming somehow. Plus this is a way to keep tabs on sorcerers around Japan. You’d be surprised how many sorcerers I have tabs on. I work to piss my family off. And this,” you point at the desk to refer to all your work. “Would make them livid.” You roll your head down and begin to call up a number.

“Now what would your high school self say about you now?” Shoko teases.

“She’d be surprised but proud.” You say and throw a hand out to display your excitement as the phone rings.

“Hello?” The voice that belongs to an old business partner answers.

“Kong,” you greet sweetly. “Long time, yeah?”

You hear him draw in a deep breath before he scoffs shakily. “Y/N.”

You tilt your head down and rest your elbow on the desk to lay your head on your palm. “Now I hope I didn’t interrupt anything. You’re a very hard man to find. I hope you weren’t avoiding me. You know what happens when someone does.” You taunt.

“Why would I?” He mutters. “We’re old friends, so I know you want something?”

“Oh,” you breathe out. “Looking for work,” you lie. “Without Suguru here I’m growing bored, I need to find work to do. Do you happen to know anyone in need of any sorcerers for hire?”

Kong doesn’t answer for a few seconds, letting you pick up your head and turn on the computer to check his last location a friend gave you. “You’ve gone quiet, what is it? I wouldn't want to go to the States to ask in person.”

“I—”

“Don’t,” you cut him off abruptly and in an intimidating voice. “I know where you are, Kong. You’ve been avoiding me since Suguru died. So I know you’re hiding something, spill it or I’ll tell my friend in the red cap next to you to make this the last call you ever take.”

Kong shares a nervous laugh that makes the frown on your face deepen. “We’ve been friends for a decade, y/n,” he stammers. “I went to your wedding—”

“And I don’t care,” you interrupt and begin to tap your manicured nail against the wooden surface. “You stopped being my friend the moment you stopped talking to me, even then you meant nothing to me. I won’t blink an eye to give the command. Spill it or I’ll lose my patience.”

Kong exhales deeply before he answers a bit quieter. “My life is at stake here okay? But I’ll tell you this because you are my friend because I care. Manami and Toshihisa are hiding something. Unfortunately for them, they haven’t let go of the goal Geto put in their head.” He sighs. “This should be enough right?”

You clench your jaw and grow cold and stiff. “Yeah,” you deadpan and hang up.

“What is it, master?” Kirara asks right away since the confused and suddenly hurt look on your face is obviously clear.

“Maybe nothing,” you answer honestly. “Or maybe something important. I think Manami and Toshihisa are betraying me.”

The room falls silent and your mind begins to run rampid.

Yeah, you’ve always known that the two that were just named have been a bit more motivated about what Suguru preached. And after he died they wanted to continue with his work, but you didn’t exactly egg them on. You had no purpose for the religious facilities since you couldn’t store curses like Suguru, and you just hurt too much to try and continue his goal at such a big scale, so you just gave up his dream.

It seems like they didn’t though. And it shouldn't be surprising, not really, but they were still family. For a long time, they were all you had, so that’s why this feels like getting shot in the back. You’re supposed to be close, you’re supposed to share stuff like that with each other, so why didn’t they? What are they hiding?

“So what does that mean for our problem?” Shoko queries.

You continue to tap your nail against the surface and shrug. “I don’t know. I doubt they’ll talk to me…they’ve been distant…I should’ve known, damn it.”

“There’s no way you could’ve known,” Kirara tries to assure you. “You had faith in them.”

“Who’s the suck-up now?” Hakari rebuttals softly. “But in any way, master, Kira is right. There’s no way you could’ve known so don’t beat yourself up over it. Let’s look for them and beat the information out of ‘em.”

You laugh softly and nod stiffly. “Yeah, you’re right, Kin, no need for more stress. I'll just accept it as it is, a betrayal...” You sigh loudly and sit back lazily. “What a pain in my ass! I should’ve never taken this favor for Satoru.”

“Now look at you,” Shoko retorts. “Now you’ve got your head stuck in that hole. With no way out.”

You fold your arms over your chest and mumble. “I should…I should get my head out. Give me a good reason why I should stay, Ieiri?”

Said woman sighs and you hear the leather seat she’s on shift as she moves in her seat. “Your kids' lives could be on the line,” she puts it simply, making you lower your head and steal a glance at Kirara and Hakari before you look at your hands and think of your girls.

She’s right. Whatever’s going on isn’t just a drizzle with the sun poking out, it’s a brewing storm with no sun, just darkness.

“And,” Shoko adds. “You won’t leave Satoru to deal with it on his own, no matter how much he fights for you to stay behind.”

That’s also right. She’s right.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you mumble.

“Always am.”

You manage a faint smile and have to just drop your head in your hands to take in what was dropped on you; another weight to your already heavy and tensionful chest. You’re not drowning anymore, Hakari and Kirara saved you from that, but this weight? Oh, that weight.

You can’t breathe again. It’s getting hard again.

“If that’s what you want,” Hakari says. “Then there’s nothing you can do about it at this moment.”

You hear feet hit the ground before someone comes over. As you lift your head you see Kirara finally joined Hakari and you by the desk.

“What?” You probe as you notice that they’re up to something.

“Just doing our thing,” they simply put it out before they lean over and get on the computer to put on music.

“Ah,” you laugh breathlessly and can’t help but tug a happy smile on your face. “I see.”

“What’s going on?” Shoko asks as she sees all of you smile.

“She smokes when she’s stressed,” Kirara explains. “We’ve found an alternative. We dance it out. When he can of course.”

Yet no matter how much you danced it out at that moment, no matter how much fun you did have. At night after you put Satori to sleep, after the twins began to get ready for bed, all that you ran away from comes back and you’re reminded of that heavy weight, and you can’t help but think of the man that can’t come and comfort you, the man you can’t hold.

All that stress transforms to longing and you feel lonelier as you’re embraced by the cold fall bitter air under the starry sky. You try to find comfort in his stupid gojogesa you always hated seeing on him, but it no longer smells like him, it’s not warm after his use, it’s cold and holds nothing but agony.

You try to maybe find comfort in one of your many favorite pictures you have with him to try to relive that moment in your head and see him at least as a distant memory, but you can’t bring yourself to feel an ounce of happiness at the sight of the engraved memory on the piece of glossy paper. And when you play that day of him trying to make baby Satori look at the camera in your head, all you see is a faded day, and all you feel is longing for a moment you can’t share with him anymore.

So you put the picture down and press your hand on the empty spot next to you on the dock, and close your eyes to try and picture him here with you in such a vivid way that perhaps you’ll be able to feel some ounce of his presence. But again only the cold air keeps you company, and the only warmth you feel is that of your tears running down your cheeks.

Nevertheless, you still open your eyes and expect him to be looking right back at you with that sweet and charming smile of his, but he’s not here. Not even the ghost of him.

Albeit there are a pair of eyes watching you. Two to be exact, but you don’t catch them since they keep themselves away from your eyesight, so you don’t catch them watching you cry for the man they saw you love with your whole heart. They just watch you with pity and sympathy, and a bit of guilt since they can’t do anything to get him back for their little sister, for them, or for you so you wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

“Welcome, friends, family.” You greet the guests that are coming here for the first time, and the guests who are already familiar with this place. “Some of you have already set foot in our fine establishment, but those who haven’t, welcome to the community…”

The name is still a work in progress, so for now, that’s what it’s going to be called.

“…Our community for sorcerers.”

“Boo get on with it,” Satoru pretends to haggle.

You look at him surprised. “You’re here early,” you respond kindly. “Did Ijichi really drag you out?”

“N-no—”

“No,” Satoru cuts Ijichi off. “Nanami came over and basically did.”

You offer your friend a thankful smile and then point inside before you begin to lead Shoko, Ijichi, and the first-year students to your house through the community. “As I said, we try to be as self-sufficient as possible. We grow our crops, we have a greenhouse; cows, goats, chickens, and horses.”

“You eat horses?” Itadori dares to ask almost a bit horrified.

You look back and shoot him an offended look before you shake your head rapidly. “No! Horses are great therapy, we use them to help sorcerers who struggle. And taking care of them is fun, they’re beautiful creatures, so no we don’t eat them!”

Satoru walks over to Itadori and throws his arm around his shoulders before leaning close to him to add a comment with a mischievous smirk. “My sister here is like a hippie, she’s into meditation, and a connection with the earth. She’s a weirdo. Don’t mind her.”

You glare at him and huff.

“Actually,” Fushiguro cuts in nonchalantly. “Meditation is proven good for your mental health, and in our case, it’s good to improve our mental strength for our techniques. So I wouldn't say it’s weird.”

You spin around and face your brother with a taunting grin. Whilst he lets go of Itadori and looks at Fushiguro amused.

“You sound like my sister,” Satoru teases his student—or protege, or adopted son? From what your brother mentioned he’s been looking out for Fushiguro ever since Toji died; Toji who happens to be his father. So they’ve been in each other's lives for eleven years now. So yeah he’s probably like a son or a little brother.

“That’s actually right,” you defend Fushiguro and then turn back around. “Anyway, we don’t eat horses, and there’s not a lot of people living here, but we are a scarce few, but,” you clap your hands. “Those who do live here are from all around the world. For the most part. Right now,” you say and look around at the semi-empty streets. There’s only a couple of people roaming around, but for the most part, everyone seems to be in their homes. “It seems it’s down time, earlier in the day though, it’s very lively.”

“Satoru!” You hear someone yell.

“Hey, Satoru!”

You glance over your shoulder and see women waving and flirting with your brother from afar. And of course, he doesn’t leave them hanging.

“Hey, ladies!” He flashes them a flirty smile and waves back. “So good to see ya!”

You groan in disgust and just move along. “We have a school for the younger kids, a daycare, and a training facility here too,” you continue to share happily.

“Can I ask what people do for money? And rent?” Nobara asks.

You nod. “Some people go to work outside, but I don’t make anyone pay for their housing, people have chores. But no rent,” you laugh softly. “And utilities are covered by me, but we do have solar panels, alternatives. We just—”

“Have you ever heard of communism?” Satoru butts in. “Well, this is it. My sister is a model, sorcerer, and a communist. Hefty resume.” He grins and turns his head to face you.

“Well,” Shoko interjects and lets out a deep breath. “I'm tempted to come here to retire now. This sounds like a treat. And looks nicer than I expected considering it’s all in the middle of the woods.”

You offer her a smile and steal one glance at the students observing the place with curious and slightly awe-struck faces.

“Dinner is ready, but the twins will give you a more thorough tour of the place after. That way you’re not stuck with us oldies for so long.” You giggle and grab Shoko’s arm to drag her along with you. “Come on, come on, I want you to meet her already.”

The tour is short since you didn’t take them to any of the barns, or any other minor location in your community, but you just can’t help it. You want Shoko to meet Satori already, plus it’s getting late so everyone must be getting hungry. You know you are.

And once you approach your house, the door gets thrown open and your daughter comes running out to greet one person. “Uncle Satoru!”

Satoru walks past Nanami, Shoko, and you to meet Satori halfway with an embrace he had to give her while on his knees so he can be at her level.

“Satori!” Satoru greets with the same energy.

“I missed you,” Satori says and pulls back to face him. “I haven’t seen you since…forever ago. Like, last month.” She exaggerates.

Satoru snickers. “Sorry I’ve been busy, but,” he adds and pulls his hand away to pretend and grab something from her ear. She giggles and watches him as he swiftly maneuvers his gift between his fingers before he presents her with a little golden key. “This is for you.”

Satori looks at the key slightly confused, and then glances at you to seek help for what she’s seeing.

“A key?” She asks and takes the small golden key from his hand. “What for?”

Satoru pulls his shades off and winks at her. “You’ll see.” He then leans in and whispers something in her ear before pointing at Shoko.

Satori follows his finger and when she sees the stranger before her she shuffles closer to Satoru. After all, out of everyone here, she’s the only one she hasn’t met. She met the students and Ijichi after Satoru insisted that he wanted to take her to meet his students, so they’re not strangers to her, she actually really likes Fushiguro for some odd reason. But Shoko? They’ve never met until now.

“Geez,” Shoko muses. “I guess there’s no need for a DNA test, she looks just like him.”

You blink and slowly look at her with a pointed look. “Why would you say that?” You mutter.

Shoko shrugs. “I don’t know, I’m seeing her in person now and all I see is a girl version of Suguru.”

You hum in agreement since she is right, but why did she have to say it like that?

“You sure she’s yours?” Shoko jokes, making you shake your head.

“Hello,” your daughter's voice cuts in. And when you look down you see her with an arm draped around her uncle, and her cheek pressed against his.

“Shoko, this is Satori—”

“Satoru,” you try to cut in so the girl can introduce herself.

“Satori, this mine and your mom's oldest friend, Ieiri Shoko!” He completely ignores you.

“Hello,” Shoko greets your daughter kindly and crouches down so Satori can see her warm smile. “You look just like your dad, you know that?”

“You were my daddy’s friend too?” Satori queries as she stays next to your brother.

Shoko nods. “Yeah, he was my best friend.”

Satori smiles. “My uncle Satoru said that. You’re very pretty,” she says

Shoko grins and touches her chest. “Aw thank you. So are you.”

Satori blushes and grabs harder onto Satoru as she grows timid.

“This is for you,” Shoko shares and offers her a small pink gift bag.

Before your daughter can take it though she meets your gaze for reassurance.

You quickly give it to her, and she slowly steps away from Satoru to take the bag, letting Shoko stand up to her given height.

“Thank you,” Satori tells her before she puts the bag down to open it and pulls out a box that she strains to take out. “It’s heavy,” she mumbles and turns to you. “Mommy, can you help me?”

You walk over and crouch to hold the box for her so she can open it. She then puts her hands inside and sticks her tongue out as she slowly pulls out a small, beautiful black and golden orb music box that’s adorned with delicate designs, and small white paintings on the lid. Of course, though, Satori can’t identify what it is right away.

“What is it?” She asks with an amused smile tugging her lips.

“You have to use your key,” Satoru lets her know, making her glance at the golden key in her hand before she does as she’s told and carefully turns it a couple of times. When the key stops, Satori pulls her hand back and glances at you with slight confusion. However, before she can ask what follows, the lid opens and a sweet melody begins to play, causing the fairy in the middle to begin dancing along gently.

Satori’s eyes soften and a big and happy smile grows on her face. “Aww, look Mommy! Look!”

You nod softly. “I’m looking, now what do you tell the sweet lady.” You say and flash Shoko a teasing smile.

Satori snaps her head over towards Shoko and her eyes basically gleam with how excited she is. “Thank you!”

Shoko offers her a smile and a soft nod. “Yeah, you're welcome.”

Satori offers Shoko one more smile before she takes her box and walks over to Nanami.

“Look, maybe we can play a song for my daddy,” she tells him and grabs his hand to begin pulling him inside with her. “You like it, uncle Nanami?”

Said man smiles softly and nods. “Yeah, it’s very nice. Do you love it?”

“Yes! Do you think my daddy will like hearing it?” She asks.

“I think so,” Nanami agrees and goes along with Satori. “I think he’ll love it just as much as you do.”

Finally, without more interruptions, you continue to finish this tour inside. “Come on, let’s get in, dinners ready!”

“Hey, yeah I’m starving!” Itadori exclaims and skips forward to be ahead of the group, letting Satori glance at him as she continues walking at Nanami’s side.

“Hey, Itadori,” she addresses him with a very serious and curious look. “If you’re so strong how come you don’t have any muscles?”

Your eyes widen in disbelief even though you’re fighting the need to burst out laughing.

Nobara on the other hand chuckles and hits Itadori’s back. “Nice one Satori!” She tells your little girl.

“I do too,” Itadori argues. “They’re under my jacket.”

Satori's eyebrows furrow and she looks unconvinced. “Hm.”

Itadori gasps and then hits Fushiguro's chest. “He doesn’t have any either. How come you don’t tell him that, huh?”

“She’s 6 years old, Itadori,” Fushiguro mutters in annoyance. “Leave it be.”

“Well…” Satori pauses and glances back at Satoru, and then at Nanami next to her, and doesn’t bother bringing Fushiguro into this. “My Uncle Satoru and Nanami have muscles. So does my uncle Miguel and my uncle Larue. How come you don’t?”

“I’ll show you—”

“He’s just younger…” Nanami interjects to inform your daughter, but you lose track of what they’re saying as they walk inside the house first.

When you get inside you all take your shoes off, and you then rush over to the living room and thankfully find your other daughters lounging on the couch without as much excitement as Satori possessed over this dinner.

They only decided to join because you mentioned that Nanami and other people besides your brother would be here, otherwise, they probably would’ve left or stayed in their room if it was just you and your brother.

“Get up, just an introduction and we’ll go eat,” you try to move them off the couch.

Mimiko is the first to get up, while Nanako groans and has her sister help her off the couch.

“Nice bunny,” you remind her as you caress her head before you push them along with you towards the kitchen where everyone is heading.

“Everyone!” You cut in, making them stop one more time. “Just some last introductions. This,” you point at Mimiko by grabbing her shoulder. “Is Mimiko.”

Said girl takes everyone in and then offers everyone a gentle bow. “Hello,” she greets and stands up to hold her stuffed creature tighter against her before you notice her eyes fall on one teenage boy in particular; the nonchalant, urchin head, Megumi Fushiguro.

He seems to meet her gaze and hold it for a moment before you cut it by introducing someone else. “And this is Nanako.”

This greeting is a bit more stiff and cool compared to Mimiko’s warm and timid one. “Hey.”

You laugh dryly and introduce the others quickly. “Girls you know Ijichi.”

Nanako giggles and nods.

“Hello girls,” Ijichi greets them stiffly. “Nice seeing you again.”

Nanako simply smirks, letting you move on. “These are my brother's students, Megumi Fushiguro, Yuji Itadori, and Nobara Kugisaki. And Lastly,” you roll out more upbeat as you move over to take your friend's arm. “This is Doctor Ieiri Shoko, the girl I told you about. My best friend!”

“Nice to meet you girls,” Shoko greets them warmly before Nobara steps forward and points at them with a slightly surprised look on her face.

“Is that Chanel, the 1995 spring collection?”

Nanako and Mimiko share a quick look before Mimiko nods.

Nobara gasps and her jaw drops. “Where did you get it?!”

“Y/n’s closet,” Nanako shows off. “She has a lot of cool clothes.”

You groan softly in protest but they just ignore you and continue to interact, making you smile proudly nonetheless and watch them for a lingering moment before you walk to the dining room with Shoko, your brother, Ijichi, and the boys.

“We’re back,” Satori announces without her box and with Nanami following behind her. “I let Daddy hear the box while I eat.”

“That’s very nice my girl,” you tell her sweetly as you walk to the end of the food-filled table that makes Itadori’s eyes basically pop out of his sockets.

“This all looks so good!” He exclaims and rushes over to get a seat as if they would run out.

“My mommy and Belinda made it,” Satori announces as she takes a seat next to Satoru.

“Oh if that's the case,” Satoru jokes around. “Get your fake smiles and a napkin ready.”

“But mommy is a good cook,” Satori defends you, making Satoru lean towards her to whisper something that makes her giggle before she looks at you and changes her response. “I mean she’s not!” She giggles along with her uncle.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t joke around like that with her,” you try to advise him sweetly.

“Relax, she knows it’s just a joke.” He waves you off.

You sigh and just ignore it for now and wait for everyone to gather around the table.

“Oh, yeah where’s Hakari and Kirara?” Shoko queries as she grabs a bowl of food to serve herself.

“Busy,” you tell her. “They couldn’t make it.”

You look around the table and watch everyone settle down with a growing smile. Your brother sits across from you, and the twins choose to sit beside you so as to avoid being near your brother, Nobara sits beside them and they seem to carry on their current conversation, while Fushiguro tries to pull Itadori from overfilling his plate. Nanami sits next to Satori, and Shoko sits at your other side, making Ijichi sit next to her and make himself small as if to avoid bothering her.

You watch everyone fill their plate and talk amongst themselves with admiration that turns to longing for only one man. He would’ve loved to see this moment here, he would’ve been enchanted having his friends and his family dining together like a close united front. This would’ve been a glimpse of that life he dreamed of, or maybe it would’ve been enough, but he would’ve loved all this.

But he’s not here, and all you can do is be happy for him.

“I just wanted to thank everyone for being here,” you cut in as everyone begins to eat. “It really means a lot. It’s been a long time since we’ve been gathered like this, and I know there’s a couple of people missing, but we’ll carry them with us today, and welcome the new faces that accompany us.” You smile at all the kids. “Thank you.”

“Cheers!” Itadori muffles as he chews his food, making Fushiguro and Nanami look at him with disgust.

“Exactly,” you counter sweetly. “Actually feel free to serve yourselves wine made with organic grapes from Italy. It’s homemade by Miguel, a member of our family. And don’t worry it’s light on the alcohol, so Itadori, Nobara, and Fushiguro, you can have some. And don’t worry,” you snicker. “I’ve made a non-alcoholic one for you Satoru, you and Satori can share.”

Satoru clenches his jaw and folds his hands over the table as Shoko and you laugh at him.

“Who would’ve thought,” you add smugly. “That the strongest sorcerer can’t handle his liquor.” You chuckle. “So if you kids ever want to defeat him just give him a cup of alcohol and he’ll go down. Like that one time on Shoko’s birthday, do you remember when he…” you pause and laugh hysterically along with Shoko to the point you can’t finish your story as you recall that day.

“He fell—“ Shoko snorts, and you wheeze.

“Poor Haibara man,” you gasp for air.

“Hilarious,” Satoru deadpans. “I hope you both choke on your food.”

“It was pretty funny,” Nanami joins in too with a tiny smile before he takes a bite of his food.

You slap your chair and wipe away your tears.

“So are you going to tell us, or?” Nobara asks.

Shoko and you look at each other again and burst out laughing. And you in fact don’t end up telling the story, you just can’t muster up the strength to do it without laughing. It was just too much of a funny night, so it goes untold and the night carries on great. No better than that, it’s perfect in your opinion. You have fun. You smile and go on not thinking about Suguru for a while.

Games are played, and more stories are told, the older kids go out and get shown around the property by the twins, while Satori has no other choice but to be with you. Not like she minded though, she enjoyed Nanami and Satoru’s company.

The night transcends almost like old times, you acknowledge the big hole left by a couple of people, but you feel that same bliss. So simple and so warm. And it doesn’t get knocked down by the loss you still mourn deeply every day. Eventually, you end up catching the twins and the other three hanging around a bonfire they built by the lake, and rather than feeling sad as you recall the fact that it reminds you of your youth and that he can’t see this moment, you smile to yourself and admire from the older kids afar with a drink in your hand.

This, this moment is what you've worked so hard for. Watching Nanako, Nobara, and Itadori laughing about something they said, noticing Fushiguro and Mimiko smile timidly at each other as they seem to discuss over a book in her hand without a worry, is what you dreamed of. Of course, this is a fraction of it, but it’s the next generation of sorcerers living a simple moment that you longed to see.

They deserve to live it for as long as they live.

“What’s going over here?” Satoru breaks your silence.

You blink and watch him take the empty next to you on the patio swing. “I was just watching the kids,” you point out and shift your body to face him. “Admiring them. And hoping their lives are just filled with moments like the ones they’re living now.”

Satoru drifts his eyes to watch them now too and a soft smile tugs on his face. “They will. That’s what we’re fighting for aren’t we?”

You hum in agreement and continue to watch him as a question forms in your head unrelated to what you just spoke about. It’s an old question really, one that always lingers in your head. And you don’t know why you have the burning desire to ask it now out of all days; maybe it’s the quiet moment, maybe it’s the alcohol in your system, but it comes to your lips, it forms tears in your eyes and makes your heart race before you start it.

“Why?” You ask quietly.

Satoru hums and lifts his head to slowly turn and face you with a questioning look. When he sees the tears welling in your pleading eyes it’s not hard to know what this is leading to.

“Why did you leave that day?” You plead for an answer again. “Why did you break my heart that day?”

Satoru blinks repeatedly and glances down as he brushes his fingers through his hair.

“And don’t avoid it,” you press sharply and breathlessly as if you had been out of breath. “Don’t rebuttal with a question, tell me. You owe me that at least because I don’t think I can go on pretending I’m okay with it. I can’t live like this anymore, so please, Satoru tell me why you left me behind in that damn house with those horrible people we call our family.”

Satoru smacks his lips as he draws in a deep breath, and nervously licks his lips as he slowly breathes out through his nose. “I…thought I was making the right choice.”

You scoff. “The right choice? The right choice was trusting me,” you argue. “I don’t know if I would’ve left with Suguru if I did leave with you, there’s no way of knowing, but you had to trust me. And you didn’t, you betrayed me in the worst way possible and it hurt…” you inhale sharply and grab your chest to let out that shaky breath.

“I just didn’t want you to leave too,” Satoru finally shares, making your breath hitch. “He had left, I thought I could prevent you from leaving if you stayed there. I didn’t think they’d try and make you do anything, you know?” He says and his gaze never flickers away from yours. “So I left. And I knew you’d be angry by it, but I was convinced I could make it up when I took you back to the school. I just didn’t want you to leave…” he trails off and swallows back thickly before he exhales deeply.

You look at him with your eyes glossy and with a soft look of disbelief and full of pain.

“I’m sorry,” he says and makes you freeze and look at him blankly as you progress words you didn’t think he’d say, at least you thought you’d need to drag it out of him.

“I’m sorry that I ended up hurting you,” he whispers in a soft voice you rarely hear now. It’s so genuine and vulnerable.

But it’s not enough. Five days were a few, but those five days were torture and they happened because he left you that day.

“It’s not that easy,” you mutter as the shock passes and contentment laced with deep cemented pain takes its place. “But…I want to try and forgive you. I…miss you. I hate feeling this tension between us. I hate not talking like we used to when you come over. But it’s not easy forgiving you because I really looked up to you…”

Satoru huffs softly and his eyes fall.

“I really thought you’d never hurt me and you did,” you whisper. “I can’t forget that, but I want to try. I do.”

Satoru inhales sharply and meets your gaze with a softened look and nods softly. “Yeah that’s a start,” he says.

You laugh softly and nod in agreement. Silence follows after that, but it’s not awkward, it’s not full of tension you can cut through with a knife, and there’s genuine contentment and relief over this new beginning.

However, that slowly crumbles as you feel that longing and that gap left behind by a man you both cherished and cared for.

“I really miss him,” you break the silence in hopes he feels the same.

Satoru draws out a deep breath and nods. “I know,” he mutters and notices you holding back your tears as you stare at the ground so he slowly, and carefully puts his hand on your back to very gently caress it.

He didn’t need to say anything else, you heard the softness of his voice, and you detected the grief you feel every day. And this time the silence that descends over you lingers for a while, up to the moment he grows cold.

“It’s cold out here,” he tells you and gets out of the chair. “Why don’t we head inside?”

You look up at him and nod, but you don’t move. “I’ll be there soon. I just need to collect myself a bit.”

Satoru hesitates but he doesn’t fight you to leave. This is your home after all. “All right. Just don’t freeze to death out here because I will gloat.”

You let out a soft laugh and watch him walk inside before you take a chug of the alcohol you still have and then let your body slide to the side as you rest your elbow on the armrest, and lay your head on your hand as you stare off blankly while you think about him.

It doesn’t seem like you were there for so long, you didn’t feel time pass, but apparently it did because suddenly Nanami comes out to join you.

“Y/N, you’ve been out here for a while, why don’t you come inside? Get to bed and sleep it off, yeah?”

You sigh and shake your head. “No…n-no, I just need to collect myself. I don’t want her to see me like this,” you mutter and put the bottle down before you sit up to swing your legs back and forth. “Just a…bib more,” you slur your words.

Nanami sighs and slowly takes a step closer. “Satori asked Satoru to put her to bed, and the twins took the students to their room, so come on,” he says and closes the space left between the two of you by gently grabbing your arm and picking you off the porch swing.

You swallow thickly and try to argue, but you actually don’t have the strength so you just muster something else that slips out of your mouth. “I’m sorry…I’m a terrible host. Suguru…he was better at it…I’m sorry.”

Nanami pulls you inside to the warmth that fills the house, and you sigh as you finally feel embraced by the warmth.

“You did pretty well,” Nanami tells you. “Up until you didn’t come back inside.”

You roll your eyes and nudge him gently. “Oh, come on you're being too nice. What happened to you? You used to be mean.”

Nanami scoffs softly. “I was going through a phase,” he rebuttals. “And I didn’t say you were good, I said you did well.”

You laugh softly and then hiccup, making your friend look at you with worry.

“How much did you have to drink?” Nanami asks, considering you tend to be erratic when you’re drunk like you are now.

You shrug and pinch your fingers together. “A little”

At least you were erratic, Suguru’s death changed you; you’re a lot quieter now too, more serious than he was used to from you. Perhaps if it wasn’t for Satoru asking you to train Hakari and Kirara, you would have locked yourself away in your community only tending to your people and daughters.

Yet even if you had a reason to pull yourself up, Nanami could still see all that pain you like to hide. He can see it now so clearly in your glossy orange-red eyes, he can see it through your silence as he helps you to your room.

“I’ll bring you some water, and a bucket,” Nanami whispers softly. “Just in case.”

You lift your blankets and crawl into your bed. “Okay,” you mutter and think about the fact that you’re in your clothes, but your mind doesn’t actually give the command to change, you just lay and think about it while Nanami disappears.

That is until it’s like you forgot that Suguru has been gone for almost a year and turn to your side in search of Suguru. You expect to see him sleeping on his back, with his long hair draped over his shoulders while some other strands are spread about his pillow wildly. You expect to see him with his head tilted to the side, causing drool to dribble down the corner of his mouth. Alas, the moment your eyes fall on an empty spot next to you your heart shatters and you’re slammed with the urgent need to cry.

However, before you can shed a tear, footsteps approach your bed and once again you grow illusioned with Suguru, so you flip around and call out to him in the darkness of your room. “Suguru?”

But it’s not him, your eyes land on Nanami.

That’s right…it’s just Nanami.

“Uh,” Nanami breathes out awkwardly. “Here’s water, a bucket, and pills on your nightstand.”

Tears slip down your cheeks as you feel a ripping pain inside your chest. You don’t say anything on the matter, nor does Nanami add anything else, he just puts his hands in his pocket and glances at you one more time before he announces his leave.

“Goodnight, y/n, I’ll check in on you tomorrow.”

You avert your gaze and stay quiet, he takes this as his confirmation and turns to head out, but before he can you reach over and take his arm. “Kento, please don’t leave,” your voice breaks. “Please…I don’t want to be alone...I’m so lonely,” you cry quietly.

Nanami sighs and walks back to you to crouch by your side, and proceeds to slowly pull your hand off his arm to tuck it back under the blanket.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I am. I don’t know what else to say but that…” he trails off and exhales deeply. “I’ll just—”

“Nanami,” another voice cuts in. “It’s okay I got it from here.”

You look over your shoulder and see Shoko walking in.

“Are you sure?” Nanami queries.

She hums and once she reaches the bed she shoves your legs back and throws the blanket aside before she lets her slippers fall off her feet. Nanami stands up and you completely forget about him as you’re filled with confusion and glee.

“What are you doing?” You ask Shoko as you turn to watch her climb into your bed.

“Spending the night,” she says mindlessly.

The confusion you just felt completely vanishes and you’re filled with overwhelming joy that makes you cry. You didn’t want to cry, but the liquor has you all loopy so happy tears roll down your cheeks now.

“Is that okay?” Shoko makes sure to ask even though she’s tucking herself in like she used to when you lived together.

You nod and quickly throw your arm around her before you snuggle up beside her. “Of course,” you assure her. “It’s better than okay…thank you,” you muster through your drunken state.

Shoko slowly wraps her arm around you and responds with a simple gentle squeeze before lolling her head on yours. Your smile softens at the feeling of her warmth embracing yours and you can’t help but close your eyes to find peace in this moment.

——

*SOMETIME LATER. OCTOBER 31, 7:30 pm*

“And here is Satoru’s juice box,” you tease your brother as you set the drinks down by their respected person.

“And you get two drinks?” Satoru rebuttals. “Feeling ballsy? I’m not carrying you to bed.”

You smile sweetly and bat your eyelashes. “The bartender gave me a tequila shot on the house because he says I make a cute birthday girl.” You shrug sweetly and sit back in your seat.

Satoru raises a quizzical brow and scoffs. “Sure you do. Anyway, for someone who hates non-sorcerers, you surely do spend a lot of time around them.”

“Well,” you sigh and pick up your shot glass. “Ieiri wanted to take me out for my birthday, and the sorcerer-only club is lame, so I’m sucking it up. Here. At this fun bar.” You grin and twist around to face your friends who came to celebrate your birthday with you; Shoko, Nanami, Larue, Satoru of course, and Mei-Mei. “Let’s all raise our cups to a fun night.”

Your friends' eyes fall on you, and they all raise their drinks.

“And to your birthday!” Shoko adds with a soft smile.

“Yes, happy 28th, Y/N,” Larue says from the far end of the table so as to not sit next to the man that killed the man he looked up to. He wouldn't have come if your brother was coming too, but it is your birthday so he made an exception. “May you continue to age just as gracefully as you are now my beloved friend.”

You push your drink towards him and flash him a warm beaming grin.

“Happy birthday y/n,” Nanami interjects softly.

“Happy birthday, little sister,” Satoru surprises you, making you drift your gaze across from you to express that surprise in a soft manner—“May you continue to live on so I have someone to annoy.”

You groan softly and lower your cup as you narrow your gaze.

Satoru chuckles and leans over the table. “Happy birthday,” he says softer.

You draw out a small breath and offer him a sweet and genuine smile.

“To y/n’s birthday!” Mei-Mei says, making everyone raise their cups in the air before you pull them into your lips and start off the night.

When you finish your shot you slide that cup aside and pull in the original drink you ordered. “Now to change the music to something actually listenable, and then we should start our first game of the night!” you interject joyfully. You can’t have yourself feeling any other way today even if it’s your first birthday without Suguru. Because if you sit and really feel what you want to feel then no one will be able to take you out of that dark place called grief.

So you’re determined to feel nothing but gratitude for those who came to celebrate with you, and joy for being able to celebrate another year. And when you get so drunk that you begin to cry about your man then it’s whatever because you will already be drunk and partied out. That will be a good way to end the night!

Nevertheless, just as you take your first step, your phone begins to ring and threatens to ruin the night just as it started.

“How come you made all of us shut our phones off, but you get to have yours on?” Satoru complains.

You peer back at him with a pointed glare. “Because I have kids at home, and you all don’t, you guys get calls from work, so no phones for any of you until the night is over.” You shoot him a sweet smile and take a look at the screen, but realize the number is an unknown one.

Thus you hang up and waltz over to the jukebox and flip through the variety of music. It takes you a minute to click through all the music and find something you like, but you eventually find the right song, and just as you’re about to click on it your phone goes off again.

“Damn,” you hiss in annoyance and pull your phone out again to check. And once again it’s that same unknown number so you answer impatiently this time. “Hello!”

“Gojo,” a familiar deep voice greets you almost distastefully.

“Yaga?” You scoff. “Isn’t this a surprise?” You laugh. “I can't imagine you’d call to wish me a happy birthday, so,” you roll out almost with a hint of nervousness in your tone because a call from him doesn’t mean anything good. “What do you want?” You ask and press on the song to play overhead.

“Are you with your brother? He doesn’t answer his damned phone.”

You blink and feel your joy begin to fade away, and that brewing storm only grows darker and more dangerous. “Yeah,” you mutter and slowly turn around to give your back to the jukebox. “Please don’t tell me you’re also looking for Nanami, Shoko, and Mei-Mei?”

“Yes, I am! Are they with you too?! Why aren’t they answering their damn phones?! I get why Satoru wouldn’t, he’s a slack-off, but them?!” He shouts, causing you to pull your phone away from your ear. “Put me on speaker, Gojo, what I have to say concerns all of you.”

No, no.

You rush back to the table and slam your phone on the table to catch all of your friends' attention. “It’s Yaga,” you announce and put him on speaker.

“Oh,” Satoru begins to say playfully as he folds his arms over the table. “Yaga? Don’t tell me you feel hurt you’re not invited to my sister's birthday bash. Well, I would’ve told you but you know, it’s for young people only, you—”

“Shut up,” Yaga cuts him off, causing you to snicker. “Since none of you are answering your phones, listen well, there’s trouble brewing in Shibuya.”

Your amused smile falls and that joy you have been entertaining completely vanishes.

“I’m sorry I have to end your night, but all sorcerers, including allies, students, and staff alike have been summoned to deal with what’s going on.”

So not you? Please not you.

“Are you going to stop edging us on already?” Shoko cuts in as she rests her chin on her hand.

“Non-sorcerers have been trapped by a veil in Shibuya and are not allowed to go out,” Yaga finally shares, making everyone around the table except for Larue, to frown and grow serious and stiff. “Come to Shibuya now, I’ll explain everything else on the way. And before you say anything, y/n, you are being summoned too. Literally, the people inside the veil keep asking for the same things, we think it’s a condition by who made the veil, they say that in order to go out Satoru and Y/N Gojo need to come.”

You groan and drop your head on the table.

“Why should I even go?” You rebuttal. “I don’t help non-sorcerers.”

Yaga huffs out and sneers through the phone. “Because your brother will be here, and all your friends will come too. Don’t they matter?! Don’t do this for non-sorcerers, do this because the lives of the people you care about could be at risk!”

You groan softly in defeat and don’t say anything now. Instead, you actually end up entertaining this mysterious invitation sent by the curse-user, or special-grade intelligent curse, much to your dismay.

You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t listen to the plan they bombarded you with on your way to Shibuya, you shouldn’t change out of your cute birthday outfit, or take off the pretty and glittery birthday crown Satori made you.

You should be home eating more cake the twins made you, and watching a movie with your family snuggled up on the couch, or you should still be at that damn bar celebrating with your friends and your brother.

But no, you’re here. You’re with your brother a few miles away from the veil trapping non-sorcerers in, and sucking in others that were towards the middle of the veil. You’re in your sorcerer outfit and about to search for whatever is seeking you and your brother.

“They’ll probably be in the center of the veil,” Satoru says as he taps his chin. “And if it’s just us we should come at them from opposite sides and at least spook them since they’re already waiting for us.”

You blink repeatedly in disbelief and roll your eyes at him to retort. “Opposite sides? So you’re going to make me go all the way around?”

Satoru looks at you amused. “Why, I can float you there if you want. Or you can fly there, Satori says you can fly.”

You shake your head and look away. “Flying is an overestimate. I glide with the wind. You know? It supports me, I don’t fly.”

Satoru laughs softly. “Well, then I’ll go to the other side, just because it's your birthday.” He says.

You can’t help the smile tugging on your lips and nod. “Thanks. Or whatever.”

Satoru sighs and sounds serious now. “I am sorry that we had to leave the bar. Maybe we can make it up for Shoko’s birthday, hm? You two can go out and celebrate together.”

Without any other option, you nod. “Yeah. I’ll tell her about it.” You exhale and begin to notice how close you’re getting to the black veil. “At least the entire day wasn’t ruined though. I had a good day up until now. Breakfast with you and my five children was good…even if it was late,” you mumble and shoot him daggers.

Satoru chuckles and doesn’t add anything in that respect.

“So I’m grateful,” you finish in a whisper

“Good.”

You hum and just as you’re about to reach the veil you both come to a stop. “I’ll see you in there then,” you force yourself to change the subject before you want to ramble on to avoid this insidious problem.

“You know whatever happens in there, when you get out meet up with Yuji,” Satoru interjects as you both watch the black veil as if waiting for something to come out of it. “I don’t know if he’s connected to whatever’s happening here, but people still want him dead, so meet up with him.”

You place your hand on your hip and look down. “You’re acting like you won’t make it out of here.” You mumble.

Satoru scoffs. “It’s just in case things get crazy in there. Precautions.”

“Oh? You take those?” You ask sarcastically.

“I’ll meet up with you when I can, all right? So say you understand.”

You exhale deeply and roll your head up to meet his gaze with an assuring look. “Understood.” You reassure him.

Satoru nods and steps back. “It’s 8:30, I want to see you inside at 8:40.”

“I want to see you at 8:40!” You counter lightheartedly. “You’re the late one. Like this morning.”

Satoru scoffs. “8:40, or I’ll beat you up. Don’t care if it’s your birthday.”

You scrunch your nose with discontent and hum. And now without wasting another second, in the blink of an eye, he zips away. Now you have to go through the veil alone.

So much for a joyful birthday.

“Fuck this,” you grumble and let out a deep breath before you walk to the edge of that stupid veil. When you’re close you hesitantly reach for it with your hand.

And the moment the tip of your fingers touch the cold gooey texture you wait and stare at the black shield with discontent.

You’re not supposed to be here. You’re fucking semi-retired. You should be at home! Damn it!

You draw in another deep breath and finally step inside. Once you see the fucking calamity of people you huff out and groan.

A hood at this very moment would be excellent. But no, you didn't think of including one in your outfit. Now you’ll be recognized for sure. Damn it. Damn, damn!

Whatever, there’s nothing you can do about it now but keep your head low and push through.

Of course, as you do push towards the center where a second veil is trapping non-sorcerers inside and holding whoever is looking for you both, people begin to recognize you when they manage to catch glimpses of you. You do your best to ignore them and keep yourself to the least crowded sides.

Alas more and more people recognize you and those who do have genuine interest, and those who just want a picture for likes, begin to follow you and crowd you, so you begin to run to avoid having them distract you and escape through a backdoor in the station.

That’s one thing you can be grateful for that the school provided for you, knowledge of secret entrances through buildings and stations!

You imagine there’ll be more people, but for now, you’re in the clear.

Or at least you thought so, because just as you were about to exit the building and walk out to the tunnel, you hear footsteps approaching, so you stop and wait. In case it’s some enemy then you’ll fight them, if it’s another sorcerer or a starstruck fan then you’ll shoo ‘em away.

“Go away,” you break the silence as the footsteps find you and stop a few paces away from you. “Or I’ll make you.”

“Y/N.”

No.

You spin around on your heels and come face to face with Nanako and Mimiko.

“Wh…” you gasp and take long strides to reach them and grab them forcefully by the shoulders. “What are you two doing here? Go home!” You say without any sense of endearment. “Now!”

Nanako pulls her arm away from your grip and rebuttals for her and her sister. “No, we…” she pauses and glances at Mimiko nervously and then looks back at you and continues. “We want to help you, we’re old now. We know how to fight, we came to help.”

You shake your head and push them back. “No,” you counter sharply. “I don’t want your help, I have enough help. Go home, go to sleep, and when you wake up I’ll be there. Just go home.”

Nanako digs her heels in the ground and swats your hand off her before taking your other hand off Mimiko to argue back. “No! We’re not going home, and if you find some way to make us then we’ll come back because the truth is that we want to help you.”

You blink with surprise and swallow back nervously.

“We just want to help you,” Mimiko adds softly. “Geto and you taught us a lot. We’re strong because of the two of you. So we can do this, trust us just like how you trusted us last year.”

You step back and drop your head to let out a frustrated breath and think.

You did trust them last year, but the curses that invaded the streets were under Suguru’s control and they worked with the twins. There may not be curses here now, but there’s a chance they’ll appear, and they don’t work for them this time. This time whatever is here won't spare them because they’re young just like how they would’ve been spared last year by the opposing side. They’re in real danger now.

But they’re right, they’ll come back if you send them away and they’ll probably face more danger because of it, so…

You have to trust them. You have to trust that they’ll do the right thing and be smart. You have to let them spread their wings so they can learn to fly on their own.

So if they want to help then you’ll let them. You’ll trust them.

“Fine,” you sigh and face them. “Fine. But get out of here and wait if there’s trouble. Don’t get in the way, and run. There’s nothing wrong with running away, okay? Go home and just let me know. Yes?”

Nanako and Mimiko share a surprised look before they smile at each other and then at you.

“We will,” Mimiko assures you.

You draw out a nervous deep breath and walk over to them to embrace them. “Be careful. Keep your phone on, and answer me when I call.”

The twins wrap their arms around you and you squeeze them tighter against you.

“You be careful too,” Nanako says. “Don’t be stupid.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah, I’ll try not to be. You don’t be stupid either.”

“You’ve taught us to be better,” Mimiko praises you.

You smile and pull back to take one more look at them. “Careful. Run. Get out of the way, and if there’s trouble and you can’t reach me and need help, call Nanami. Or one of the kids, you became friends with Nobara, Fushiguro, and Itadori, they’ll be more than happy to help. Okay?”

Mimiko nods and you return the nod and step back. “I’m late to meet up with my brother, so I’ll trust that you will get out of the station. Be careful, and I love the two of you.” You shoot them one last smile before you turn and jog out to the tunnel.

Now back to this mess. Fuck. It, or whatever the fuck better be here.

And your gut better be right, you’re just following your gut as you jog through this dimly lit tunnel. Whatever invited you here could be anywhere through the second veil you easily passed through.

And! No curse better jump out while you’re in the dark.

Please no, please no, you keep muttering to yourself until you hear voices echoing as you approach the light at the end of the tunnel. And as you get closer you make out your brother, thankfully.

However, before you can be seen, or heard, you change your jog to a stride and stop just before you can step out of the shadows to examine the area.

You see your brother. He’s too tall not to spot right away. He’s going on about something you tune out for now.

You also see that tall and white curse that has twigs for eyes, the nature curse, or whatever. Next to it is volcano head, the curse Satoru said he beheaded. And next to volcano head is a person. Not a curse, an actual person.

He’s new and has not been mentioned by Satoru, or reported by the students. He’s not patch face either; this guy lacks blue hair and that raggedy black shirt Itadori said he wears.

No, this guy across from you is wearing a robe underneath a tight purple vest thing that covers his robe and sinches his waist. This guy has dark brown hair and wears buns on his head. This guy is new. And this guy is turning his head!

Shit, shit!

You back up, but his brown eyes still meet your gaze hidden in the shadows. This guy…this guy with a black mark over his nose, and light purple circles over his small eyes notices you first. You’re basked by the shadows of the tunnel, but he still sees you. And as he keeps his tired-looking gaze on you, you see his thick eyebrows furrow, and his eyes slowly narrow on you, and your heart suddenly skips a beat.

He doesn’t say anything though, he slowly begins to turn his body, and you stay there and hold his gaze as you feel as if you’re unable to move from your spot. The thought that he’s mesmerizingly attractive crosses your mind, but maybe that’s because you need to get laid; it’s been too long.

Whatever the case, you ignore the thought and your crazy beating heart and finally find the will to move and step out of the shadows. Without letting go of that guy's dark and threatening gaze the entire time.

.

.

.

.

A/N- I felt butterflies writing that scene with Choso hehe…

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154

[cambion-companion]

HI! HUGE FAN LOL, I love your writings and the way you are able to beautifully capture Aemond's whole personality.

Ok so, for the random writing prompts thing! Could we please have a short drabble for number 9 plsss, give us the angst! Where Aemond lost reader, it could be to an illness or reader just being another casualty of war, i.e Aemond got betrayed by someone and reader tries protecting him but ended up dying. Just let me cryy pretty please and thank you so much!!!

You're so kind!! I will try my best to make you cry :)

9. “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

Aemond x reader | angst | reader death

You remember the flash of a silver blade in the midst of a crowd of swirling color, the shimmering silver of your lover’s hair as he turned, too late. The silver of the moon high above, riding the night sky, bearing witness to the assassin’s attempt.  You leapt forward, knocking trays of drink and food to the ground, desperate to stop that dagger from reaching its mark.  

Purposeful silence filled your mind, your vision darkening around the edges, focused entirely on the assailant advancing on Aemond Targaryen.  You had no time, though time seemed frozen, the dancers around you moving in slow motion as you blocked the deadly strike with your own body, unable to do anything else.

A sharp impact, the breath expelled from your lungs.

You looked down at the blooming red on your bodice, barely registering the swift stroke that cut down the shocked assassin.  

Aemond’s voice cried out your name, sounding oddly distant.  

You fell backwards, darkness enclosing about you, one word taking shape upon your trembling lips.

“Saved.”

Aemond caught you as you fell into him.

His sword, coated with fresh blood, clattered to the stone floor.  He sunk down, your limp head upon his lap, his trembling hands trying to staunch the wound in your sternum.  “Get the maester!”  His voice sounded frenzied and too loud in his ringing ears.

Fresh tears slid down Aemond’s cheek, blurring his vision as he felt your throat with his fingers, looking for a pulse, any sign of life that might shed some ray of hope.

He found none.

Pressing his palm flat to your chest, Aemond could detect no beating of a heart, no rise and fall of breath.  

“No.”  

He would deny it until his voice gave out.  His love was not dead.

“Help them!”  He shouted, at no one in particular, his fingers grasping loosely at the handle of the dagger that still protruded from your chest. He knew better than to wrench it free, so he let his hand fall helplessly to the ground to support his weight as he bent over you.

Ragged sobs escaped him.  Even when the maester did arrive to look sorrowfully upon the scene, Aemond refused to let you go.  When all the healers in the Red Keep gathered around, murmuring softly to each other.  When the guards cleared the scene of civilians.  When the body of the assassin was carted away.  Aemond remained kneeling upon the cold ground, clutching your body close, your blood staining his skin and clothes.

“My prince…there is nothing we can do.”  The healer made as though to try and extricate you from his grasp. “Allow us to-”

“Do not come any closer!”  Aemond snarled, his hand grasping the hilt of his discarded sword.  

He pressed a shaking kiss to your cold forehead. “Please, Y/N.”  He rocked back and forth, unable to stand the agony of grief. “You need to wake up.  I can’t do this without you.”

The silver moon was setting, reflecting silver light on the fresh blood spilt upon silver stone.  

Despite Aemond’s pleading, you did not wake.  Only when Alicent gently coaxed Aemond into her arms did he finally let you go.  His eye red and strained by tears as he sobbed against her chest, clutching tightly to her as the healers carried you slowly away.

[themuseandantarctica]

* 𝒊 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂 𝒓𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒏

sentence starters from joanne greenberg's novel i never promised you a rose garden. change however necessary. i never promised you a rose garden is a semi-autobiographical account of a young girl admitted to a mental hospital for treatment for her schizophrenia, which means...

tw: mental hospitals, medical, self-harm, suicide, suicidal ideation, ableism, ableist language

it should look as if we trust her. she must feel that we trust her…

they call it a mental hospital, but it's a place where they put people away.

we should have expected them. why should we be so surprised?

i told you the truth about these things you asked. now are you going to help me?

you are just in time for the patient's soothing tea and the end of the world.

it was considered advisable to terminate the interview.

well, i'm a hundred square yards sane.

you will not have to give up anything until you are ready, and then there will be something to take its place.

the prisoner pleads guilty to the charge of not having acute something-itis and accepts the verdict of guilty of being nuts in the first degree.

someday i hope to help you see this world as other than a stygian hell.

it seemed like a good life -- a very good life she had. now they say it wasn't.

i can't really see you and i can't really hear you.

they think that both of us would be too much just now.

it's without a cause, you see, and that's what is so frightening.

i hated it and had no talent for it. it was one of the flags to capture, you see, and he had to try to win it, even through me.

it's going to cost us -- everything. you know that, don't you?

am i not what you wanted? do you have to correct my brain, too?

you see, she knew, in her own way, that she was not attempting suicide, but making the call for help, the call of a mute and confused person.

waiting for the blows… and then there came a time, later -- a time where she began to arrange for blows to fall.

i swear to you that i will not use you.

they never said they were sorry, not one of them.

is this… forever?

that was not my doing. i was not even in on the consultation.

you are walking around your destruction and poking a little finger at it here and there.

it's funny… i never figured that kid was really sick.

i scratched my arm a little -- that's all.

do you know what a coldsheet pack is? i'm going to set one up for you.

this is the little tart i was telling you about.

there are flowers in a hospital and strength, too. you will live and be strong.

i could not be sure. i am good at getting deceived, you know.

you know… the thing that is so wrong about being mentally ill is the terrible price you have to pay for survival.

there is no injustice being done.

don't hit me, [name] -- don't hit me! i know how hard you can hit!

once i greeted my best friend and she turned from me. when i asked why, she said, "after what you did?" she never spoke to me again, and i never found out what happened.

none of the others laughed, really. you were only afraid that they might laugh. you alone made yourself lie.

there are other deaths than death -- worse ones.

we might someday… have to be "well" and be in the world.

i didn't want to hurt you -- to make you sicker.

when i get around to it, i'm going to do your portrait.

my hair feels dirty.

it is my selfness and it is poisonous. it is mind-poisonous.

another camouflage is to blame it all on someone else. it keeps you from having to face what they really did to you, and what you did to yourself and are still doing.

somewhere there is a thief who has heard that people bury and hide their gold and jewels. can you see the expression on his face when he comes on what i have buried!

i like being somebody's punishment; it makes me feel needed.

their religion doesn't permit them to commit suicide.

i found out about being insane. it really is something.

lay off [name], will you?

do you think the sick people are all in hospitals? do you think you have a corner on suffering?

you ought to know mental trouble when you see it.

it's envy! the best and smartest are always envied. walk straight and don't let them know if they touch you.

i thought i was going to die, but at last they came back.

that kid looks through me as if i'm not here at all.

i am a hair in my eye, and so are you.

a pacifist is one who uses his open hand.

i never promised you a rose garden. i never promised you perfect justice, and i never promised you peace or happiness. my help is so that you can be free to fight for all of these things.

it's because of the maybe. it's because of the little, little maybe.

she never took your world at all, don't you see?

what do they want with me, broken into and spoiled already? i'm not good enough for anyone else.

i could still be crazy if i wanted to?

i wish i could have made it to that narcotics cabinet.

are you calling me? is it me you want?

you have quite a number of bits and pieces all copied down on those papers of yours.

who ever told you that learning facts or theories or languages had anything to do with understanding yourself?

there is nothing you can do to me that my own craziness doesn't do to me smarter and faster and better.

i'll be around. you could even get privileges to come and visit me.

i never could ask for anything. i thought you knew that. when i have to ask, something happens to me and i… well, i start to fight.

i always wondered why those reports seemed to be more about [name]'s thoughts than about her body, like pulse or temperature.

maybe the cannon blast we were fearing was only what we heard.

you are captive and victim. we did not want you to escape.

it's going to hit -- please -- it's going to hit harder than i can stand up under.

god, they build their tortures cunningly!

everyone is so afraid of getting blood on the living room floor. "i can't stand to see suffering," they say, "so die outside!"

i think now, though, that you are little too happy with yourself for this trouble you have.

mommy and daddy are shelling out plenty on that bitch who isn't fit for saving.

get away from that door, [name]. you have no business there.

you are trying to hurt yourself now. what happened?

don't forget what i know about you!

i had known all those years and years how sick i was, and nobody else would admit it.

if you're seeking objective reality, this is one hell of a place to start.

even if you didn't really talk out loud, it was that look you get…

i'm not giving up; i'm just tired, that's all.

occasionally, others are damned by you to punish you.

this you have earned. i don't often give presents either, so take it.

this is one-by-one from the jawbone!

my difference is not my sickness.

when i get upset… i usually have trouble seeing properly.

did i hurt anybody? did i hurt anybody?

kid, i never knew you had it in you. you can really fight!

if i want to die, what am i saving myself for?

you've seen this… awfulness before; why are you so shocked?

measure the hate you feel now, and the shame. that quantity is your capacity also to love and to feel joy and to have compassion.

i would be worse than wasteful to give a moment's time to a hopeless case.

you will find no shortage of moral issues and hard decisions in the real world.

i have decided not to be immoral, because of what happened to [name].

where is what you used to scratch this?

it is why you need a hospital.

you are worn out, but no longer so very frightened, are you?

what am i doing here with all these crazy people!

i don't want to think anymore! i'm tired and scared and i just don't care anymore what happens.

i like an anger that is not fearful and guilty and can come out in good and vigorous english.

we just didn't get on. we didn't like each other. i think perhaps we were too much alike…

you've only got one kind of cold, the kind coats can fix.

you may not even have to do anything about it. you may not even have to think about it.

it was just a simple statement in my mind that i was going to live, to come up alive.

what hurts is being kicked by the forces that everyone else lives by and years of being nuts and not being able to tell anyone and have them believe you.

i tried to go easy. i hope it didn't hurt too much.

grapevine never told me you were back.

it can be very, very tough, but people are sometimes better than you think they will be.

somehow lately, there's been something like a caring in her.

now, am i crazy or did you make that story up?

you can have something on which to model yourself.

stop it! will you never end it!

if everybody would stop dying over the big secret, it'll be a lot easier.

you're not here that much. i want to see you this week.

no, [name], he was weeks ago -- i just went to the party with him.

when she blows, she's going to cover the ceiling.

sometimes you have to fight what won't yield and put yourself where it's safe to be crazy.

whose idea was this in the first place?

if i weren't scared to death of it, i would be so grateful!

you're not just rubbing it in good to get a little free suffering out of it?

alive is fighting. it's the same thing. i still think [name] could have made it.

well, i hope you like the room.

now, when you have come again to the world, you are able to remember what was also there with the darkness. much of it was darkness only because it was balanced against the light of loving and experiencing truth.

what about your new friend, [name]? do you still see her sometimes?

the one place i could never go… the one hunger i could never admit.

do they know how beautiful and enviable their lives are?

i can't go back to my merry high-school days again, volleyball in the gym and teeth-teeth at the school dances.

could you call them for an appointment?

just… well, i liked to think of you being outside and starting along, that's all.

hey! you know what happens when you burn yourself? you get burned, that's what!

is it true that you bring me beauty lately only when you are threatened?

if it's okay with the people down at that place she mentioned, i'll be ready whenever they are.

say "hello" for me. throw something at her and be rude so she'll know it's me.

she is prompt and obedient and never insane in the classroom.

does it all have to go? do we pile it up and throw it all out?

i will never have that. not by fighting or study or work or withstanding will i be able to walk with one of them or be warmed by their hands.

we had to call your landlady and tell her you weren't coming back there tonight and that you were here.

you rotten whore! let me go!

i am going to hang with the world. full weight.

[highladyluck]

AU thought: Nynaeve is born in Seanchan and raised from childhood as a damane

Immediate first thought (besides ‘why did you choose violence’) is that she’d probably be the best, still. She’s making it onto Tuon’s entourage. I am in pain thinking about it.

This is my AU, so I’m going to solve a personal mystery and say that her dad is Ajimbura & she’s from the Kaensada Hills. Let’s say her mom still died early from illness & dad still taught her how to hunt & track before she was tested. In fact, Ajimbura treated Nyneave as his son because he had seen her channeling at an unusually early age & was hoping declaring her his son could protect her from being made damane.

The Kaensada Hills are rural and unassimilated enough that this was not quite as useless an idea as it might seem, and let’s say they also had very functional ideas of gender roles- if someone does Man Things, they are A Man for all intents and purposes, or vice versa.

Spoiler: It doesn’t work, the sul’dam do eventually get around to testing even there and if there’s a saidar channeler, they’re gonna grab her. Nyneave becomes damane around 13. She still has that Talent for Healing, but because most Seanchan don’t want a damane working on them in that way, she’s only allowed to practice on other damane. It’s a Talent and not something that can be taught very well, which also dampens people’s enthusiasm about it since it’s not super replicable.

She’s still ridiculously powerful even with this somewhat problematic skill, though, and so she sees a lot of use in combat situations. Nyneave comes to Tuon’s attention when Nyneave’s sul’dam makes a judgement call & lets her bring one of Tuon’s favorite damane back from the brink of death after a combat injury. Tuon’s like ‘mine now’ and Nyneave joins the favorites squad.

Nyneave’s been with Tuon for ~6 years by the WH timeline. Once Ajimbura finds out where she is (since she’s higher-profile now that she’s with Tuon), he’s like ‘I must kill the Daughter of the Nine Moons’s father to avenge the loss of my son’ but her father is dead already (of ‘a bad wager’ in this timeline too) so he decides that as male captain of her bodyguard, Furyk Karede stands in loco parentis to Tuon, and therefore he must be killed.

After 3 failed revenge murder attempts, by the custom of his people, the debt rebounds upon Ajimbura and now he must become like Furyk Karede’s son and follow his trade.

This is the mechanism that Ajimbura’s people, distant descendants of the AoL Aiel, devised to stop blood feuds. If you try to revenge murder the same person three times & you can’t hack it, you have to join your enemy’s family instead and act in their interests. Most people don’t want to take that risk, or pick easier-to-kill enemies, so there’s a lot of trophy-hunting instead, kind of like how the Aiel have implemented complex prisoner of war rules so less people die.

So that’s why Ajimbura is Karede’s unhinged manservant in THIS universe. Still wish I knew why he’s there in canon!

Because I do not want Nyneave to suffer unduly, let’s say she comes with Tuon instead of Mylen (whose battlefield-medicine-descended-Healing is less impressive when compared to Nyneave’s Talent). Nyneave also represents Seanchan supremacy in a homegrown ‘we’re better than you’ way rather than a ‘we’ll brainwash you all’ way. Slightly different message, similar outcome.

She gets captured by our heroes at some point & basically has some of Alivia’s arc after that, but because she worked with Tuon and has insider info on her, she’s got more to do in Rand’s inner circle than just make people uncomfortable & lay out his outfit for the rest of his life. Actually, you know what, let’s full-circle this, the former Wisdom of Emond’s Field is Alivia Al’Meara & she’s the one who makes the call to uncollar Nyneave when she asks for it.

Also, Nyneave becomes friends with Aviendha because Avi meets her once and is like ‘forgive me but you’re the spitting image of my second-sister’s first-daughter’ (or whatever) and then they figure out that the Kaensada Hills tribes are also descended from AoL Aiel, and this connection becomes very important later on when the Kaensada Hills tribes strike out for independence in the aftermath of the entire Imperial family being murdered & the civil wars in mainland Seanchan.

[ofmermaidstories]

(This is all about ''Something (just like this'' :], i apolagize in advance)

Theres an auther (you, i'm thinking of you) that has given sutch weight to the simple human pains everyone has, let them cary a greaf in every breath they're mentioned, i can't help but ache with the mc as one because i get it, i understand and even if i handn't felt the same pain that crushes your hope of ever being loved in the same way you do, if i hadn't though myself cynical and bitter the way she does i still think i'd get it.

I still think i'd be able to see myself cradle my heart like an infant, even though it's an old ugly, terrable creature.

The plots so ritch it's unbalivable that i get to read your works for free, like i knew it was her bestfried the second our artist glaced over her sholder and saw her drawing kids with guns in masks. But it was her best-fucking-fried, who dies without answering her livid questioning.

It's her constant self awair bitternes to the person she is that just-

Chefs fucking kiss.

Like the way she views herself and everyone else she thinks threatens the few things she sees as good in her with a sort of cynicalnes, but through herself that is bloody perfect.

Shes insane for the shit she pulls, Gods i love her.

I cannot expres enough of my love for the way you craft your words, the story and the way you put so mutch care into it makes me ill.

Izuku is caprured so well, his whole being being intertwined with Katsukies-....i am going feral as we speak.

Also her being an artist so acuretly presented, it's insane, the way she is about her skill, her talents, her works and her instuments and the way there are these little moments she wants to capture is so stupidly accurate to how i see the world as a creative. Always hungry and always craving to make, even when im no where near a peace of paper or even the shittiest of pens.

Im grinning and in fucking tears. (As i was writing all of this in my notes i wasn t even that far into the last chapter.)

Holy fuck, god i fucking despise Hana. And i get why, and im amazed at how her resoning, her pain and anger dosn't justify(?) shit when i've seen a lot of things where someones inhumane actions get swept under the rug cus they were hurting quietly, or something.

She was like a quirk nazi. Nothing redeams(?) that, y'know?

Auther i am shaking you by the sholders, and im sorry if my nails dig in too deep but holy fuck. Breathings hard, fic so good my rib cage has started to feel too small for my heart, and my lungs, and the hole your story has carved inbetween all of it.

Fic so good i haven't even gotten to the end and i want to thank you for, for all this has done to me. I'm shit with fics where there are a lot of words, no matter how mutch i love the characters and yet, and yet somehow this is one of the 100k + fanfics i have enjoyed every gut wrenching second of.

I feel like vomiting

In fact

I might.

They all need therapy after this, methinks.

(I know this is long and loopy, and my english (my second language) is not great, and that ultametly i kinda said nothing but i needed you to see (at least a little bit of) how insanely wonderful your craft is)

Anywho, i still haven't finished, and that was a lot of words, but i hope you have a lovely 24 h, i wish you the best with all of your future works. "Something (just like this)" has...given me brain damadge i'm guessing.

Blue, there is nothing to apologise for, I think you are wonderful. 🥺 You said everything. 🥺 From this message alone—from you taking the time to write it, and send it, I can tell you that there’s nothing about your heart that’s old or ugly or terrible. If anything, I think it’s golden—like the afternoon sun, reflecting all that good light back until it’s too much to hold. 🥹🫀✨

But okay, lemme try and do the thoughtfulness of this ask some justice. 🥹💕 God, to be honest I kinda worried about Hana, and her place in the story. Like—knowing how it was going to end. I think a lot of us will end up parting ways with people in our life that were important—and some, unfortunately, for ugly reasons. Hana’s betrayal is like, so extreme, so dramatic and terrible. And it doesn’t just hurt Reader, it hurt other people, kids. Like sure, Hana was hurt—but then she turned around and hurt others, willingly. And there’s no justice for the ones she directly affects. You’re right, Blue. You can’t redeem that—you can only pick up the pieces around it.

Tbh, I think Reader’s bitterness would’ve made building a life after it all that much harder, if it weren’t for other people. 🥹 Like—Scribbles cynical nature was such a fun part of writing the fic, lmao, and it absolutely would’ve made life that much harder for her in the aftermath if she didn’t have support. 🥹 I think someone like Scribbles, who barely trusts themselves, was a good match/contrast for Izuku who—like, even in canon is learning to overcome the worst of his most fear-driven habits. It gives him the ability to see Scribbles in a way that—that she needed. 🥺

Bluey!!! You’re an artist too??? Like our Reader. 🥹 The need to document everything is so real lmao. Like—it’s constant!! An insatiable way of looking at the world. 🥹 How do I capture this, how can I do this. I literally just had that feeling the other night, driving home under a perfectly straight trail of cloud like a comet’s tail. The sky was that perfect, indigo glow, and there was a single star alongside of it and it genuinely looked like the trail of a meteorite streaking over the sky and I wanted to remember everything about it. I wanted to draw it, write it, anything to keep it.

Blue, you have said so many kind things about my writing. 🥺 Either in this ask or in the tags of other things. And!!! It means so much to me, every time. 🥺 This is what I mean when I say you have a reflective, golden heart. 🥹💛🌿 I’m always going to be glad that like, I could write something that made you wanna reach out and say hello, lmao, but mostly I’m just glad you’re here. ☀️

(Also, as an aside—you mentioned a song, in the tags of one post a little while ago. I wanted you to know that I immediately ran to spotify to try and find it, lmao, and listen to it and like, now it lives in my likes and every time I listen to it I think of you and also of maybe trying to write a Bakugou worthy of the association, lmao. It’s such a sweet song, Blue, thank-you for the new music 🌷)

[fluffygreenkoala]

I just wanted to share my own love letter to Spider's character and explain why (in my opinion) he chose to do what he did in the finale. (Will be taking info that was shared in the Avatar comics like The High Ground other than Atwow).

So, we know he's Quaritch's son (who probably knew of his existence but didn't care enough to try and locate him/know about how he was doing) and Paz's, a soldier deceased during the attack to Hometree in the first movie. We see him under the care of the scientists (Max and Norm in particular) and in the comics his adoptive parents, the McCoskers, get a couple of panels to let us know they exist.

But that's basically it. They are there, they do not actively engage in Spider's growth and development, they do not seek to actually form a parent-child bond with him, not going by what is shown in either the comics and the movie.

So, Norm and Max (+ the scientists) do their best to look out for him but ultimately have other things to do and the McCoskers -his adoptive parents, hold that role which is, in the end, only a facade. They do not act negatively towards him but they do not express a strong will to *want* to engage and have him with them.

Which other adult figures does Spider have in his life that he could turn to?

Oh! Jake and Neytiri.

Buuuuuuut here's the issue: Spider is the son of the man ultimately recognized as the greatest human foe to all of the Na'vi, and to Neytiri he's also the one who robbed her of her ancestral home AND killed her father/sister. So we can cross her out of the "empathically willing to get involved and understand Spider" list.

Who's left? Jake.

But Jake is shown as battle hardened and over protective in a not exactly good telling manner towards his own kids, and he himself calls Spider "not one of the family, more like a stray cat.".

And there is this underlining look-down feeling to how Jake references Spider's species and being human as if that simple fact the boy couldn't change was enough to eclipse all the good in Spider's existence.

Before his capture from the RDA squad, he was shown to have an extremely good relationship with the Sully children, to be extremely in tune with Pandora (and possibly, if it is explored in the next movies, Eywa), to be protective and caring towards their wellbeing and happiness.

While he is in captivity he undergoes TORTURE. His brain is put on display to strangers who seek to locate those people he admires and grew up wanting to resemble, he is tied and immobilized as they probe his mind for information for who knows how much time and he gives them NOTHING; it's highlighted how much his body was put through by his nose bleeding and his paleness and short breath once Recomb Quaritch stops the machine.

Remember that he's sixteen.

And he cried for the Tulkun mother being killed right in front of his eyes, screamed and cried for the Ta'unui villagers when they were endangered and was ultimately the reason they weren't wiped out. Even as he was burnedened with one more reason to hate himself than he shouldn't have to shoulder: the Recomb squad making him feel like they were there because he didn't give information and they HAD to do this instead to get info.

So now, knowing that he's been neglected his whole life, never had a real parental figure, never had that affection any human needs and deserves to receive while growing up (save for sweetness by Kiri and possibly Tuk but that's different), wasn't looked out for regarding whether he was well, whether he was ill, well fed, had nightmares, could take care of himself, knew how to hunt and track possible enemies, that no one made his songchord to celebrate his birth and achievements and are able to see beyond his dismissive shrugs and melancholic smiles, let's ask ourselves: was Spider saving his father's Avatar a completely aware choice or was it the product of his intrinsic compassionate personality and the abuse he's undergone in the months of his captivity (because yes, Cameron confirmed in an interview he spent MONTHS there), knowing that he wouldn't be rescued and could only deny the information they were holding him captive for and hurting him?

Knowing he'd have died for Kiri in the end even if Neytiri was bluffing (which I doubt she was, but still) because that's who he is. Who he was made to become because of the lack of basic things being offered to him and him seeing a shred of decency and care in the one person he hates and caused SPIDER to be loathed for things he couldn't help -his species and his father.

So yes, we need to take all of this into consideration when dealing with this character who, in my opinion, is the most innocent victim in the entire Atwow movie and Athg comics.

#LetSpiderSocorroBeHappy

[capturecharlesau]

Captured Charles Bios: Charles Calvin

Nicknames: Goody-two-shoes, Charlie (personally by The General), Valiant Hero (personally by Burt Curtis), Angel (personally by a certain chef 👀 )

Age: Charles is in his mid 30’s (he joined the military in the 1990’s)

Sexuality: Bisexual and polysexual

Pronouns: He/Him

Nationality: He was born in the United States 🇺🇸 in California (he joined the military around the 1990’s)

Simplified explanation of his past:

Charles was born in the US in California in the mid 1980’s in the military by his dad General Hubert Galeforce and his wife Melissa Calvin. They both got married after Melissa and a toddler Charles escaped her awful ex-husband for…..doing something terrible to Charles that will affect his mental health for life….Melissa then met The General and fell in love and got married! Sadly Melissa then passed away from an illness and The General was taking care of Charles… Charlie here grew up to be a good little boy and to follow the law! Charles was FASCINATED with being a pilot and always wanted to drive a helicopter one day! He lived his whole life in the military camps with his friends The Bukowski Twins (I think that’s how you right their last name lol) growing up and training together! The military loved Charles and saw there was GREAT potential in him to become a HERO that will one day defeat the Toppat Clan and their leader! (Which was Terrence Suave at the time) Charles was always there to foil the Toppat Clans raids and save the day!

Charles became loved by millions of people around the WORLD everyone loved how he was saving the day! He was the bravest pilot the world has ever seen!! The Toppat Clan utterly HATES Charles for always ruining their plans!! Everyone in the Toppat Clan have orders to KILL him if they spot Charles!! But then somewhere in the early 2000’s they met Henry Stickmin and that was the start of MANY problems… timelines……why so many timelines Henry….. MAKE IT STOP…..your my friend….I’ll protect you…. Charles, Henry, and Ellie became BEST friends and formed Triple Threat hehehe! Eventually Charles was killed by Burt Curtis in the space station during the Valiant Hero ending… Charles and Burt became sworn enemies…

Charles became an angel for doing nothing but good deeds all his life! He continues to help people no matter what happens! He wanted to make his dad The General proud! Eventually the Toppats wanted to rebuild the Toppat Orbital Space Station and Charles and The General with the help of some new friends Dave and Rupert decided to stop them little did they know it was an ambush and the new leader of the Toppat Clan Reginald Copperbottom managed to capture the legendary Charles Calvin along with Dave Panpa (by accident). Reginald then ordered RHM to kill The General who sadly passed away… for now…

Charles was then captured (with Dave) …..who will save them?

In October of 2022 Terrence Suave broke out of his painting and came back in the Captured Charles AU storyline…

Personality:

Charles is a friendly kind soul! He cares for other people and does everything he can to help those in need or try to lift peoples spirits up and make them happy! He always wants what’s best for others! He is the best bro! Whenever your feeling down he’s always there to cheer ya up! He’s only rude when you test his patience or when you press his buttons! But if your nice to him he will give you a hug and a cookie :) Anyway as long as you don’t test him Charles is a sweetheart! He can also be chaotic! This is the GREATEST PLAN!!! He has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) due to a traumatic experience his biological father did to him…and is often struggling with different personalities if he’s a little stressed he also has PTSD and ADHD!

Habits/Hobbies:

Charles has a habit of forgetting what he was going to say in his sentences he goes off track and needs to pause sometimes and then continue.

He has a habit of tapping impatiently with his foot (not intentionally it just happens sometimes)

He has a habit oh humming to himself his “Greatest Plan” song he made for himself

Charles loves to play video games in his free time and CRASH HIS GLORIOUS HELICOPTER HEHEHHE!!! He loves to be in the medical field as well

LOVES TO SING 🎶

Powers/Abilities:

Charles has super speed while flying with his angelic wings REALLY fast faster then LIGHT!!

His punches are super strong since Charles has super strength and can lift any HEAVY object!

Charles has the ability to summon a golden bow and fire unlimited golden arrows at the target!

Charles can also summon a golden harp and when he plays it….it freezes the victim for a few seconds

Other facts:

Charles color that represents him is red

Charles’s eye color is red like this

This is what Charles looked like in his teenager years from 12-15 years old

This is what Charles looks like when he was a kid under the age of 10 years old

Relationships:

Charles is a free spirit he’s in a relationship with many people he’s fond of hehehe! He’s in a poly relationship with Dave and Rupert! He has a secret relationship with three other people by @jaytoons7 (don’t worry Dave and Rupert know and they love them too so much!) :D My man Charles got five lovers hehehe and they all in love :) ♥️

Charles doesn’t hate Burt but he is scared of him

Charles is very fond with Calypso by @bluetorchsky (MORE INFORMATION SOON)

Favorite food:

He loves Korean food! Especially chicken teriyaki and other foods like burgers and fries hehehe (I mean who doesn’t!?)

Likes:

Anything that has to do with being a good decent human being :) He is a good boy! HELICOPTERS BABYYYYYYY DUDE WANNA FLY AND SING IN THE CLOUDS WITH HIS HELI LET ‘IM XDDDD ♥️

Dislikes:

He hates anything that’s evil or breaks morals or the law

HE HATES THAT DAMN BUTT CURTIS (TYPO……STILL INTENDED) IM JOKING LOLOLOL! He wants to be friends with Burt but he’s so scared

Anything that triggers him emotionally or hurting his friends and family

Hair color:

His hair color is white with a few silver/greyish type of lines in front (it’s hidden behind is headphones cause cartoon logic as Puffballs describes it haha)

[heart2beom]

hiii! i hope ur doing okay <3

i was wondering what writers you would recommend that have a similar style (romance and comedy) to you since i'm new on tumblr :'P

omg wait this is sort of sweet 😭 i dont really know what my 'style' exactly is, BUT i have been waiting for this exact moment!!!! (ranting about my favorite writers my favorite beings in the world and fangirling bcs that is clearly in my nature)

OKAY OKAY LETS DO THIS!!!

i recommend

-> @jjunis

first writer i got into when stumbling upon moablr!! LITERALLY THE CUTEST SMAUs (i know i dont really make those but i swearrrrr give her soobin one a shot its so ROMCOM-ESQUE) AND all her oneshots are fluffy and cute and and

my favorite piece from them is their beomgyu smau (bcs im a struggling bamtori that eats up anything beomgyu) my beloved GHOSTING. its on hold but its soooooo fucking good, like slow burn at its core and i LOVE it. its not romantic yet but i swear its sooo worth it, the topics it tackles and the character development and the effectiveness of the flashbacks and how real each character feels ...this is the IT smau!!!!

-> @tqmies

i held off on reading for soooo long even when i found each and every summary of her fics sooooooo interesting but then one day i had free time and decided i should finally tackle my reading list and !!!!

i soooo recommend each and every fic, like its all SO good??? FOR WHAT??? so easy to read but her vocab isn't limited, and i just love that balance so much. everything is good. i recommend EVERYTHING.

but if i had to choose ONE, just ONE thing to recommend, it would be love again because i am a whore for best friends to lovers and this was the most perfect beomgyu b2l ever.

-> @minastras

um if mina isn't one of the best writers on moablr then who is????? i'd recommend for starters her yeonjun fic mr. vice president literally captured the essence of academic rivals to lovers arc so well (ill fangirl over this more on my official rec list bcs i have a lot to say but trust!!! minas the writer you're looking for)

also has a cute ongoing taehyun smau, read that too!!!

-> @tyunlatte

the most adorablest, cutest, tooth rotting fluff i squeal over their fics. im still going through their masterlist but FUCKKKKKKK everything ive read so far is SOOOOO good. also totally someone worth following, my dash is blessed every day they're the cutest!!

i'd personally recommend her entire drabble event, but my favorite has to be stay stay stay because im a pureblood swiftie and i love soobin my heart hurts

also ALSO recommend cool hot sweet love. i'm the biggest sucker for love triangles (i mean hello, two cute boys fawning over you??? sign me up ????) and the fact that we get both endings????? hail the great alex!!!

-> @hueningshaped

i can't even pinpoint one fic i'd recommend, literally just go through their entire masterlist it's all so fucking well written (hello if u see this i literally freaked out when you followed me back ur literally my idol, i am your #1 fan rereading everything youve written forever)

-> @ijhyo

absolutely insane writer, blessed this site!!!! i'd recommend their slasher series (can't find the link but im sure youll find it). i know that isnt necessarily romcomy but it was so good (i guessed the insane bitch correctly and therefore i will forever love the series for making me feel smart!!!!!)

OMG ALSO THEIR BEOMGYU FIC!! how to get the girl! once again, i am a whore for b2l.

-> @beomgyuslilracha

i havent read an entire series yet but from what ive read so far..ugh pls beg them to be a scriptwriter i need her fics on my screen, on NETFLIX, ON HULU, DISNEY+ whatever!!! plz pull a 50 shades of grey

-> @gyu-xiao

they only have three things for txt but each one of them is so good, i squealed over each fic. my favorite hyuka fic comes from them!! had me biting my knuckles trying not to scream like damn 😭

okay these are the writers i could first think of 😭 i swear i feel like i forgot three or four but oh well, enjoy your tumblr cruise 🙏

[video-game-kids-tournament]

MEET YOUR CONTESTANTS!

Name: Peri

Age: “Around 10 years old (not explicitly said in game, but is most definitely the youngest)”

Gender + pronouns + sexuality: Female, she/her, + asexual

Video Game: NeverHome: Hall of Apathy

Backstory: “just a young girl who ended up trapped in a strange, hostile world where she (and the others trapped) must solve puzzles and overcome monsters to make it out !! (not 100% sure yet!! the game releases in chapters so we haven't seen everything yet!!)”

• “To avoid spoilers for the game I will be able to tell you that Peri was captured by monsters!! She, like the game's protagonist, are now in a very strange and dangerous world. Though, Peri is imprisoned by the monsters before the protagonist finds her! It's a very scary time…”

• “Like the other human characters in NeverHome, Peri's ended up in an alternate world that's filled with abstract monsters and even more abstract puzzles. Unlike the rest of the cast, though, Peri can't remember her past at all. She's the first recruitable party member in the game, and the player character rescues her from a locked jail cell early on. She and the player character develop a sibling-like relationship. She's enigmatic and whimsical, and while she's almost always smiling and acting silly, it's hard to get a read on what exactly she's thinking. She acts a bit younger than she looks and sees this alternate world in a much more exciting and mysterious lens than the others do. Peri's goal throughout the game is to try to make everyone happy, mainly by helping the others search for a way home. She gets frustrated when she can't solve puzzles or feels like dead weight. When things become more dangerous, Peri would rather have everyone stay in the alternate world than risk their lives looking for a way out.”

Why should they win the tournament?: “shes the first person our protagonist meets!! we love our travel buddies when we're put in horror situations, don't we? while she was captured and locked up by a monster, she's still a peppy young girl who tries to see the optimism in her every path as best as she could! she has a scene drawing with the protagonist and its very cute :] for spoiler reasons this is all ill say !! however, i will say im very fond of neverhome: hall of apathy as it's a very charming indie game !! the music, art, and story is all made by its one creator and there's soooo much love in it, and im hoping to get more people to know about it besides my friends and i :Dalso she has a theme !! i linked them here :>”

https://catonatrain.tumblr.com/post/715239806626627584/hi-everyone-as-only-a-handful-of-people-in-the

• “This is a representative from a very VERY small and niche indie game that's still in development RIGHT NOW!!!! I wanna throw a bone for the little guys (pun intended) in this tournament, and I think Peri definitely has what it takes to go far! Especially because in the game (to not spoil anything), she does have a very interesting character arc!! And like cmon shes a 10 year old trying to survive against monsters shes going through so much…”

• “I may be biased considering that I wrote this character, but I think it would be very cool for Peri to win the tournament. Good things don't ever really come her way in the game, so she should at least be able to win somewhere.”

[seyaryminamoto]

The Shadows in her Reflection: Sokkla Saturdays 2023

Day 5: Fire

Rated: M

On FF.net//On AO3

A/N:

Recent developments in ATLA's canon have basically decreed that this canon/comics-compliant fic is, of course, no longer canon/comics-compliant. This is no surprise to anyone, I'm sure. It's not even that the changes were huge, they weren't, but there's certainly one important difference between this story and the comic that I'd like to... talk about, I guess?

Azula's Kemurikage group, the Fire Warriors, what have you, have always been an awkward team due to the absolute lack of personality, development and fleshing out of how, exactly, they ever ended up working together. Azula broke them out of the asylum: why did they follow her afterwards? No one knows. Did she get along with any of them? No one knows. Everything is a huge question mark and, unfortunately, the new comic basically did nothing to answer these questions. Instead, it twists them even more by featuring the team being perfectly normal, adjusted, decent individuals while Azula is the only one who is a terrible, no-good person. This invites new questions: why were they in the asylum at all if there's no sign of mental illness or any unusual behavior in these people? Were they locked up under false pretenses of mental illness? If so, that should be fleshed out a bit more, right? Maybe being sent to an asylum when they were 100% okay, mentally speaking, is what makes people like them crave vengeance against the system!

... But that's not really how it reads, and it ends up proposing an interpretation of these characters that I frankly can't describe as anything but shrugworthy. Somehow they're not competent enough to avoid capture but they're competent enough to break free their imprisoned member, without Azula's help...? It's all too convenient, I'd say.

Point of all this is... the Zirin I wrote in this chapter was very much written over a month ago, probably two months ago instead. The character I decided to portray was not going to be a perfectly normal cute girl who loves her friends, because someone with that kind of personality doesn't make a lot of sense joining rogue Azula's terrorist group, if you ask me. I've constantly used Zirin's only line at Yang's hands to decide how to portray her, in which she comes off as brash, harsh, impatient, goal-oriented and willing to defy Azula. In this story, I've granted her a certain unique danger as a firebender that clearly is of my invention and has nothing to do with her canon portrayal. I'm saying all this to make it very clear that I understand how different this character turned out to be in the newest comic, and I acknowledge those differences... but I'm not rewriting this chapter, or this whole story, just to make a terrorist gang look like innocent little lambs who were just guided by a bad shepherd. If they could walk away as easily as they did, I don't understand what was keeping them with Azula in the first place.

Anyway. That would be that, as far as author's notes are concerned here. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

A tense silence hung in the air as Azula's placid mood shifted rapidly: she glared at her brother, whose golden gaze carried a mercilessness in it that starkly reminded her of someone else… someone he would do best not to try to imitate in any way.

That cruelty diminished when he turned his attention towards Ursa: his brow drew together slightly, puzzled by her presence around Azula, but he stepped towards her, reaching a protective hand to his mother's shoulder, as though to reel her to safety, away from his sister.

"I didn't know you were here…" Zuko said, his voice softer now. "Are you okay? Did she do anything to you?"

"She… no! Of course not!" Ursa exclaimed, startling Azula by her vehement, firm response. Zuko froze, eyes wide – the last thing he'd known about their bond, of course, was that Azula wanted to kill her own mother…

"W-well… good, then," Zuko said, still urging Ursa to pull away from the table she had been sitting at with Azula…

She didn't move.

"Mom?" Zuko frowned, glancing at Azula with eyes that turned from confused to accusatory in a heartbeat – he thought she'd done something to twist his beloved mother's mind, did he? As usual…

"What is the meaning of this?" Ursa huffed, shaking Zuko's hand off and folding her arms across her chest. "What do you think you're doing, Zuko?"

"What…?" Zuko scowled. "Mom, it's Azula! She's a hazard to your safety, to everyone's safety! You knew that, you've known that for years, she's been causing unnecessary trouble and chaos all across the Fire Nation and…!"

He faltered, frowning more heavily as the utterly confusing situation started to sink in: Azula… sitting placidly at a table with their mother. No screaming, no crying, no accusations, no murder attempts…

He froze on the spot, staring at Azula as though she'd suddenly twist herself into some manner of wicked spirit that could shapeshift as it pleased. Naturally, no such thing happened.

"And she's your sister. My daughter," Ursa said, firmly. Azula's heart jolted upon hearing her speak those words with such confidence. "And you? As far as I've understood, you issued out actual wanted posters asking for her death, Zuko? Did you, truly?"

For once, Zuko paled and backed down. It was almost amusing to see the Fire Lord balking over his mother's fury… but Azula couldn't help but dread whatever Zuko's ultimate reaction to this apparent betrayal might be.

"I… look, I've learned since then that I was wrong in some of my assumptions, but I only did that because it looked like she had kidnapped Sokka!" Zuko exclaimed. "Which… damn it. Guards! Search for Sokka in the rest of the house. Is he here, or did you ditch him somewhere when you had no use for him anymore?"

His snarl towards Azula displeased Ursa, but Azula wouldn't simply hide behind her mother throughout this conversation. Instead, she smirked at his words.

"What makes you think I'd find no more use for him?" she said. "He's a rather helpful ally…"

"What the hell did you do to him? How did you get into his head?" Zuko huffed, glaring at her. "Sokka wouldn't have teamed up with you willingly, leaving his sister to think you'd have kidnapped or killed him…!"

"I was led to believe that he'd written a letter to explain he was leaving. If she overreacted to it? That's no fault of his…" Azula shrugged. Zuko scoffed.

"Everything about Sokka's disappearance was fishy as hell! And then I find out that the two of you have been traveling all over the place, trying to shake off pursuit…!"

"That's not what we were doing," Azula said, hands on her hips. "At least, not at first. We certainly had to put more effort into shaking it off once you and your unhelpful guards turned up, but we weren't always shaking off annoyances, that's for sure…"

"None of this makes a smidge of sense," Zuko said, glaring at her. "But whatever you've deceived him with, whatever nonsense you've done to manipulate him, it's over now: we either do this the good way or the bad way, Azula."

Azula scowled: the guards near Zuko were ready to chain her down, were they? Never again. Whatever she had to do to stop them from…

"Absolutely not!"

Azula froze: again, Ursa's demeanor and determination to protect her caught her off guard, much as it did Zuko.

Then, that surprise increased all the more when her mother clasped her hand, urging her to stand behind her… offering herself as a shield to the disbelieving Azula, as a wall to overcome for the utterly aghast Zuko.

"Mom! W-what are you doing?!" Zuko exclaimed: the guards behind him, whether brandishing weapons or shackles, hesitated to move now.

"I'm doing what I have to do! What you're making me do, I'd dare say!" Ursa declared. "What do you think you're doing, treating your sister this way? I don't care what terrible things you think she has done, she's your sister! Stand down and tell those guards to put aside those horrible shackles!"

"Mom… come to your senses. Whatever she's told you…!" Zuko said, pleadingly. Ursa snarled.

"She has told me the truth! She has been honest, human, real, in ways most people refuse to be around me, these days!" Ursa exclaimed, startling Zuko. "I… I have a chance, for once, to do right by Azula and you will never persuade me not to take it! Whatever you intend to do to her, you'll do it to me first! Be it imprisonment, or moreover, execution!"

"Mom!" Zuko's eyes were struck with utter horror… whereas Azula's widened with amazement: could her mother truly be that courageous when she wanted to be? That was a rather pleasant surprise. If Zuko had been Ozai, he would have laughed in her face and subjected her to the exact treatment she had demanded…

"You are a better man than this," Ursa declared, firmly. "I know you are. So either you listen to me now and stand down… or you're losing me, just as much as you're willing to lose Azula."

That threat, evidently, didn't sit well with the Fire Lord: he glared at Azula in confusion, in horror… did he think Azula had taken Ursa from him? If he hadn't grown up at all, he might just believe that. Azula truly wondered if he might conclude something like that…

"You don't have to…" Zuko said, staring at Ursa in chagrin. "Why are you doing this? Mom…"

"Because it was about time I did," Ursa said, fists tight. "I've never been the mother she deserves. I never have been the one you deserve, either… but even if she doesn't truly need me, it won't change that I finally know what I want to do, and who I want to be, now that I can be part of her life anew. I never imagined the first person I'd have to defend her from would be you, Zuko… but I'm not afraid to do it."

Zuko stepped back, confused betrayal plain across his features: to this day, he prized the approval of those he admired and loved far more than would ever be healthy, Azula suspected. He didn't know what to do, or how to react to the possibility that his sister would have anyone on her side anymore… let alone that the person standing with her would be none other than his mother.

But the gravity of the situation didn't sink in properly for him. No, it couldn't possibly do that… not after a rather unflattering scream pierced their ears, drifting from the direction of Sokka's room.

"Sokka…!" Azula gasped: had he still been resting? Oh, she hoped he had at least been about to come out for breakfast by the time the soldiers stormed the room…

Naturally, Sokka's luck wouldn't favor him: he pulled the covers up to his chest, bashful and confused when several guards barged into the room, hands raised in defensive katas until they flinched out of form over what they found.

"W-what the hell is this?!" Sokka squealed. "Get out! Go away! W-where did all of you even come from, what…?!"

Heavier footsteps down the corridor marched straight to the room: Sokka had no time to prepare himself, or hide better under the bed, when Zuko marched in, unceremoniously.

He froze on the spot, face paling, upon finding Sokka's upper body appeared to be bare.

"W-what…? Sokka?!" Zuko squealed.

"Zuko! You… you can't just invade someone's privacy this way!" Sokka squealed, cheeks flushed as he struggled to find any way out of this predicament.

"Y-you're just… asleep? You didn't even notice we were raiding the place…?!" Zuko exclaimed… eyes drifting around the room warily to find clothing items scattered all around. His eyebrow twitched at the sight of a very evident male undergarment… "Sokka?"

"Yes?" Sokka said, with a small voice.

"Are you naked under that sheet?" Zuko asked, a dangerous glint in the harshness of his glare. Sokka winced. "You… you were naked, in a house with my mother and my sister?! That's what's going on, you idiot?!"

"I…! I…!" Sokka struggled to come up with anything to say, anything at all: he couldn't possibly fight Zuko off like this, he had no weapons at hand, for they were in his actual room… for this was Azula's, actually. Half the clothes scattered around were hers…

Zuko might notice that sooner than later. If he did, he'd realize he had slept with Azula, and then Sokka would be dragged out of here and paraded as a heathen all across town for inappropriate behavior… well, perhaps the townsfolk wouldn't really judge him for that, considering the previous day's festival, but Zuko would certainly judge him non-stop for it. He might even declare him a criminal in the Fire Nation for desecrating the Princess's virtue, as estranged as she might be from her family…

Said Princess, however, suddenly burst into the room, pushing past her brother and startling Sokka with her arrival, welcome as it might be, even if it terrified him too. It suddenly crossed his mind that she would have been better off running away, out of Zuko's reach, out of sight… he would capture her otherwise. She wouldn't be safe…

And yet she seemed to be here to protect him, instead.

"No need… to kick up a ruckus," Azula said, spreading her arms in a defensive gesture as she stood between Sokka and Zuko, without sparing even a glance over her shoulder at her lover. "Sokka is just… unrefined that way!"

"He… you're not telling me that you two have been traveling together for months and he's been constantly sleeping naked near you, are you?!" Zuko squealed, his face a mask of disgust. Azula gritted her teeth as she sought to spin her lie far better than she had…

"I only do it in the Fire Nation!" Sokka suddenly exclaimed, picking up her slack when she faltered briefly. "It's… way too hot around here! So, I just wanted to sleep comfortably and I did it this way! Nothing more to it!"

"Oh, really? And my sister and my mother being here didn't deter you from acting like a creep?!" Zuko asked. Azula scoffed as Sokka processed now that Ursa was back already…

"How do you know that neither me nor Mother do the same thing in the privacy of our rooms?" Azula asked. Zuko yelped. "The three of us might just have a perfect understanding when it comes to preferences in attire, or lack thereof, during nighttime, and we can very well keep… proper, respectful boundaries, in those instances. Such as not barging into other people's rooms without at least knocking first."

"Y-you…" Zuko grimaced, glaring at Sokka with disgust again. Sokka smiled, waving at him, still holding the sheet to his chest. "You have a lot to answer for, Sokka. I mean it."

"Yeah, yeah, well, unless you want me to answer it with my business hanging out in plain sight, I suggest we discuss that later," Sokka smiled awkwardly. Zuko winced, shaking his head in disgust as he turned around.

"Everyone, out! Sokka, get dressed, and come out here to answer for this mess!" Zuko bellowed. "And if you try to run away, I'll… I'll hunt you down all over again! Understood?"

"Geez, fine, damn it, so loud and authoritarian…" Sokka sighed, shaking his head: Zuko shot him one last glare over his shoulder before stepping out of the room. The guards followed… and Azula lingered behind, even though they kept watching her from the corridor, in case either one did anything dangerous. Sokka smiled sadly at her, and Azula responded in kind.

"He just barged in a while ago. Don't even know how he found us yet, but…" Azula said. Sokka sighed. "Go on, get dressed. I have no idea what's going to happen next, but… at least Mom seems to be keeping Zuko at bay, mostly."

"Heh. Come to think of it, he's one hell of a momma's boy, isn't he?" Sokka smirked. Azula smiled at his statement. "You have a reliable ally in Ursa, if she meant what she said yesterday… though I'm surprised she's already here."

"She came by early. Tried to cook. Didn't really go so well," Azula explained. "Anyway, so far she's on our side, and we might just be safe, to a fault, for as long as she is. So… dress up and get ready for anything. I don't know what Zuko's going to react like, going forward."

"Okay… okay," Sokka nodded. Azula nodded back, wistfully gazing at him before walking through the doorway and marching away – she would have gladly kissed him, helped him dress up, but not under those guards' watchful glares.

They hadn't really talked about keeping their relationship secret, but it seemed an obvious decision to do so, particularly when they hadn't truly settled the terms of their dynamic yet. It was difficult to label it as anything specific, after all. By the time they decided on those things, they'd also decide on whether to keep matters quiet still, or be entirely open about what they meant to each other…

After around ten minutes – Sokka had to dress in his same clothes from the previous night, to then return to his actual room and change into a proper, clean outfit there –, the Water Tribesman returned to the kitchen area, where the Fire Nation Royals remained at a standstill. The guards had backed off out of the room, providing them with more privacy than before. Zuko glared pointedly at Sokka, who held his hands up defensively.

"No need to be so cranky, Zuko. Curses, you'd think I took a dump on your favorite portrait or something," Sokka huffed.

"Heh. Might as well do it if he keeps treating you that way, at least you'd earn the scowls fair and square," Azula smirked at him. Sokka snorted, shaking his head as he laughed at her remark.

"You two…" Zuko snarled, as Sokka fastened his hair into its proper wolf's tail.

Azula bit her lip as she watched him, probably more shamelessly than she should have. The way his muscles flexed… and curses, as used as she had become to seeing him with his hair down as they traveled, as shocked as she had been by how well it complemented his features, now she realized the attraction she had experienced towards him hadn't diminished in the least now that his hair was tied up again.

"What?" Sokka pouted, hands on his hips once he was done fixing his hair. "Got a problem with my, uh, partnership with Azula?"

"What the hell are you even partners for?!" Zuko squealed. "Sokka, come back to your senses, can you? Mom, well, she's Mom! She's protecting her kid, but you? What do you get out of all of this?"

"Me?" Sokka started: the immediate, obvious answer could not be spoken. He felt Azula's keen stare on him, and his cheeks flushed as he struggled how to convey something that wouldn't set off Zuko any more than he already was…

"And you!" Zuko scoffed, glaring at Azula next. "Of all people, you… joined up with Sokka. Sokka! You two are… well, not the biggest mismatched pair of all time because you clearly are thrilled to be terrible influences on each other, as your last exchange proved…!"

"Come on, now, I'm far worse for him than he ever could hope to be for me…" Azula said, bringing Sokka to smile fondly at her.

"Point is, you two used to not want anything to do with each other and I'm not exactly aware of when the hell that changed," Zuko growled. "Or why, for that matter."

"Uh… you wouldn't believe it, I think, if we explained," Sokka swallowed hard, glancing at Azula with uncertainty. She sighed.

"Promise you won't drag me by the hair to the asylum or anywhere of the sort if we do explain…?" Azula said. Ursa, beside her, winced.

"He won't do any such thing to you. He can't. And if he ever tries to take you elsewhere, I'll see to stopping him," Ursa said. Zuko flinched: Ursa being on his sister's side was devastating, infuriating, even…

"Mom…" he said, pleadingly.

"The thing is, I… have been seeing visions of someone," Azula said, with a dry grin. "Someone Sokka was close to. And it's not just random visions, but a strange, mysterious, deeper connection than that…"

"The hell are you talking about?" Zuko grimaced. Sokka sighed.

"Azula is connected to Yue," he said. Zuko's eyes widened, and he turned his attention to Sokka again.

"What? Yue? The girlfriend who turned into the moon?" Zuko asked, confused. "Wait. Azula? What the hell did you do?! Is that weird thing with the moon darkening or fading from the sky your fault?!"

"Right! Because I'm so damn powerful that I can annihilate the moon altogether, isn't that right?" Azula said, with a sardonic smile. Sokka stepped forward, placing a placating hand on Zuko's shoulder.

"Azula didn't do anything intentionally. We don't actually understand what happened to the moon. As far as Yue explained to her, a comet crashed into it somehow and maybe that's what started all this," Sokka said. Zuko scoffed.

"And how do you know it's really Yue?" Zuko nearly squealed. "She could be tricking you!"

"Right! Let's see: did you ever tell your sister about Yue?" Sokka asked. Zuko frowned. "My relationship with Yue wasn't exactly public knowledge, you know? Only a handful of people were aware of it, mostly people close to me, and the only one among those people who has frequently crossed paths with Azula is you. How did she know Yue and I had anything going on if none of you told her, huh?"

"I… don't know! Azula has ways of figuring things out! She's smart in… messed up ways!" Zuko huffed, shaking a hand in Azula's direction. The Princess rolled her eyes and drew the mirror from her pocket.

"No doubt I'm smart enough to know exact details about how Sokka flirted by asking to do 'an activity' with Yue, huh?" Azula said. Sokka blushed a little, though he smiled fondly at the embarrassing memory.

"An activity?" Zuko repeated. "Is that some kind of… innuendo?"

"What? No! Get your head out of the gutter!" Sokka winced, lightly shoving Zuko for his remark. "Seriously, dude, we were just kids! I had no idea what I was doing, so I said something dumb and silly and… it's endearing, damn you! That's all it was!"

"Yue certainly agrees," Azula smiled. Sokka grinned back at her, and Zuko brought a hand to his forehead.

"All I'm getting out of this is… she figured out your weakness. And she's manipulating you through it," Zuko said, with a dry grin: both Sokka and Azula glared at him, unamused by his assumption.

"You really underestimate Sokka's mind that much?" Azula said. "Tell me again, why are you friends with my brother, exactly, Sokka?"

"If he keeps that up, maybe I won't be one for much longer," Sokka grumbled. "You know what? Azula! Did I ever tell you about what Zuko did in the North Pole?"

"Uh… no. I kind of forgot he was there for the siege, come to think of it," Azula said, raising an eyebrow. "Mustn't have been very impactful if I can't remember any reports of anything noteworthy he did…"

"More like he did something incredibly stupid that he most likely doesn't want us to bring up…" Sokka said, staring at Zuko sternly. Zuko grimaced.

"Look, I was another person back then…!"

"Ask Yue to tell you, Azula. Go on," Sokka said.

Azula blinked blankly, glancing at the mirror. Yue grimaced.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. My brother's on the verge of a nervous breakdown, maybe, but I'm alright," Azula said. Yue smiled warmly. "Did you hear the question?"

"I did, and I… I do remember what happened. It's not very flattering for your brother, though…"

"Any unflattering stories about Zuzu are worth his weight in gold," Azula declared. Zuko snarled at her, but her attention remained on the mirror. "Go on, tell me."

With that, Yue began her retelling. Zuko glared at her as Azula raised her eyebrows slowly.

"She says… she was with Katara when the Avatar started meditating in the oasis," Azula began. Zuko's eyes widened. "Says she panicked about Aang crossing over suddenly, he was glowing and all… and that's when Zuko showed up. Huh. Apparently, you mocked Katara and said she was a 'big girl now' because she was confident that she could protect the Avatar by herself?"

"Woah, woah, woah… you said WHAT to my sister?!" Sokka squeaked. "I didn't know that part!"

"I…!" Zuko's cheeks reddened: Sokka hadn't been there to hear that, it was true…

"That is incredibly inappropriate. Shame on you, Zuzu," Azula said, before focusing on the mirror again. Sokka's eyebrow twitched as he stared down his friend ruthlessly. "Alright, then… Yue says she left, but Katara explained later that you defeated her once the sun rose and then took Aang forcibly even though they weren't supposed to move his body at all, so he'd know where to return once he came back. Why was he going to the Spirit World to begin with…? Uh… oh. Huh. He wanted to get help from spirits to defeat the Fire Nation forces, then. Anyway, after that… Katara, Yue and Sokka flew on Appa to find you, because you ran off through the tundra. They found you by some cave and… heh. Yue says Katara beat you in a single move. Nicely done."

"That was very gratifying to see," Sokka said, with a dry grin. Zuko groaned, covering his face with a hand.

"And after that… you and Katara wanted to leave Zuko to freeze to death?" Azula asked, glancing at Sokka in disbelief. "Yue… apparently had no opinion on the matter. Aang's the only reason why Zuko didn't actually just… wow."

"Let's just say, months of being chased by someone makes you very unfriendly towards them," Sokka said. "But you know what's funny, Zuko? I actually regret having said that nowadays. Even if I know why I did it, and I don't think there was any way I wouldn't have, under those circumstances… ultimately, I'm glad you survived. I'm glad you're here, and that we became friends when we did."

Zuko eyed him with uncertainty, aware already that Sokka was going down a rather unpleasant road with that particular reasoning…

"So, as hard as it can be for you to fathom that maybe someday you'll look back on your relationship with your sister and feel the same way about it? I can guarantee that I already reached that stage," Sokka said, arms folded over his chest. "She's the real deal. She's not lying to me, I know she's not. That's Yue in her mirror, in her reflections, in her dreams… it is her. And we're traveling together so we can help Yue see all the sights and places she never could while she was alive, so she can experience the cycle of the seasons, all those things!"

"Right," Zuko grunted, his eyebrow twitching. "And what happens after Yue's had her fill? Do we go back to terrorism, Azula?"

"I…" Azula gritted her teeth, and Sokka scoffed. "I know it's hard to believe I don't intend to do that, but I… won't do that. Not anymore."

"You really don't need to talk to her that way, damn you," Sokka huffed.

"It's going to take a while to convince you of anything, I know it will, but…" Azula said, breathing deeply. "I don't feel the need to do that sort of stuff nowadays. And yes, that doesn't fix all the chaos I caused…"

"You messed with Uncle Iroh not that long ago!" Zuko exclaimed. Azula winced, and Sokka snorted.

"Come on, now. What she did there wasn't terrorism, it was… a prank," he said, with a shrug.

"A surprisingly tame and yet amusing one, at that," Ursa agreed. Azula grimaced, eyeing her mother with uncertainty.

"Here I thought you'd found it terrible too…" she said. Ursa huffed, shaking her head with certainty.

"Zuko is concerned, or should be, about things that endanger the Fire Nation," she said. "I hardly see how a playful, if ill-spirited prank, could achieve that."

"Don't make excuses for her!" Zuko groaned. "Mom…!"

"Making excuses?" Ursa asked, raising her eyebrows. "Do tell… what did you do, exactly, when I told you about how my terrible, no-good choices had resulted in your father treating you as poorly as he did?"

Zuko froze. Ursa smiled sardonically.

"I told you I was unforgivable. You said you disagreed. You made excuses. You said I had no choice," she said.

"But that's different…!"

"Yes: what I did to you and your sister was far worse than what Azula did to Iroh," Ursa finished. Zuko groaned. "So, for that matter…"

"Why the hell are you both so determined to protect her from me?" Zuko exclaimed, looking at them helplessly. "When did I become the bad guy in this situation?"

"Why, I would gladly say you're not… but you certainly pushed your tiles to that corner when you issued out wanted posters calling for her to be caught dead or alive," Ursa said. Zuko winced.

"Well, I don't really want her dead! I just don't want her endangering anyone, simple as that!"

"You just saw she's not doing that right now, so for that matter, you can just as well leave the way you came," Sokka said. Zuko scoffed.

"Your sister's worried sick about you," Zuko said. Sokka winced. "And you have a lot of answers to give her too. Me? I'd rather focus on my own sister, but if you would be so kind and go back to Republic City, talk to Katara and Aang, and tell them what's going on…"

"Yeah, no. I'm not leaving Azula," Sokka said, firmly. Her cheeks flushed upon hearing his certainty. Zuko snarled.

"If you don't trust me to be reasonable with her, at least trust that my mother will keep me in check!" Zuko exclaimed. "Besides…! Why the hell are you standing up for her like this? Why are you so sure that you're making the right choice here? Sokka…"

"Do you really think you know the first thing about Azula?" Sokka asked. Azula scowled.

"If he doesn't, you're not about to start giving things away, now, are you?" Azula scoffed. Sokka shrugged.

"Nah, but… I'm just saying, he doesn't understand how I spent months with you, does he?" Sokka said. "And not only do we not hate each other after all that, we're getting along great! At least, on the most part."

"What's that supposed to mean? In what regards do you not get along…?" Zuko scowled. Sokka ignored him.

"My point is, if your own brother has no idea why I'm protective of you, maybe that's the very reason why I should be," Sokka said. Azula raised an eyebrow. "I'm not letting anything bad happen to you."

"Nor will I," Ursa said. Zuko snarled, rubbing his brow in frustration.

"What makes anyone think I'm going to…? Ugh!" he growled, shaking his head in disbelief. "I still don't understand how exactly I'm the bad guy here, but have it your way!"

"Zuko…" Azula called him, earning herself a resentful glare. "If I agree to go with you for questioning, or whatever you want from me… what would my status be, exactly? Would you deem me your prisoner, or…?"

"I…" Zuko gritted his teeth: evidently, affirming that last question would be utterly stupid. But what would she be, if not a prisoner? He sighed, shaking his head. "You'd be… an honored guest. That's what."

He spoke the words with poorly contained bitterness. Azula sighed, hands on her hips as Ursa scrutinized her son intently.

"Whatever you intend to inflict upon her, you'll subject me to it first," Ursa said. Zuko pouted. "I figured I'd remind you of that. But if Azula is an honored guest, I'll probably be pleased with my own treatment too."

Zuko snarled, rubbing his brow with his fingertips and shaking his head. Even the sight of her son in apparent distress didn't change Ursa's tune.

"Whatever. I… I'll wait for you outside. Get your things, if you have any. You're coming back to the Palace with me. Guests," Zuko reiterated, with a dry grin, before turning on his heels and leaving the room – clearly, he needed some time to himself to stew over the shocking betrayal of seeing his mother taking Azula's side to that extent.

"Well, that wasn't a total disaster. Almost, but not in the end," Sokka said, smiling awkwardly before turning towards Azula. "You okay?"

"I'm… I'm fine. Which is not what I expected to say after being face-to-face with Zuko again," Azula admitted, raising her eyebrows. She turned towards her mother, who still seemed slightly displeased… "You didn't have to go that far…"

"What, you mean by telling him he'd have to do to me anything he did to you?" Ursa asked. "Considering that was what it took for him to restrain that hostility… I suspect I did have to."

"Heh," Azula said, with a weak grin. "You might just have lost your mind slightly, then."

"Maybe it's Zuko who did," Sokka said. "We're, uh, going with him? You sure? I mean, even if I know it wouldn't be the nicest thing to do, we could run away now…"

"No. I think running now would seal my fate, who knows if yours too, as an enemy of the Fire Nation," Azula said. "If this is the first and only time that I'll have a chance to settle things with Zuko, I'd do best to take it."

"Well, if you say so. But I'm standing by you through and through," Sokka said, stubbornly. Azula smiled at those words, perhaps more fondly than she should have.

"You'd better hold some of that back. He's going to start, well… suspecting that you weren't sleeping like that just because the weather is too warm," Azula said, cheeks flushing. Sokka winced, eyes flickering towards Ursa warily. She eyed them with a knowing grin.

"Well, that's for the two of you to discuss. I'm sure you'll figure out a plan on what to do, going forward," Ursa said. "I'll keep an eye on Zuko and make certain that he's not combusting over this. Go gather your things. Mine are at the inn, after all… oh, but finish the mochi at least before we go, Azula. They're edible, if nothing else is…"

"And Zuko cut me off just as I was having them… that's a bigger crime than any I ever committed," Azula groaned, eyeing her guilty pleasure sweets with longing.

"What about you?" Sokka asked Ursa. "You'll eat something, or…?"

"I'll make Zuko's staff feed me, why not?" Ursa smirked. "It's still early anyway. I'll have them set up proper breakfasts for the two of you later. Maybe I'll even stay and watch how they make the meals, that way, once we're on the road again after Zuko lets us go, I'll be able to cook some food…"

"You… w-wait, what?" Sokka blinked blankly. Ursa raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Uh. Well, you'll have to discuss that first," she said, with an awkward grin. "I'm sure you'll want to have a say upon that. I'll just… go now."

"Right…?" Sokka watched Ursa walk away with confusion… but he turned his eyes on the blushing Azula before the woman was out of sight. "I guessed I'd missed a lot of things, but that's a bit more than I expected. What was that?"

"Well… we talked. It's probably the best conversation I've ever had with her," Azula said. "I never really thought she might be plagued by her own set of troubles, truth be told. It seems she's a little lost in life, too. Might be expected for someone to feel that way, after having two lives to conciliate into one…"

"Might be," Sokka agreed, nodding. "And after getting to understand her better, does she understand you a little better too?"

"I think my outburst from last night saw to that," Azula sighed, leading Sokka back to the corridors where the rooms were. "I, uh… I'm sorry I blew up as I did. I may have inflicted a lot more strife upon you both than I should have."

"I wouldn't call it that," Sokka said, eyeing her with heartfelt compassion. "I'm sorry too, I kind of antagonized you and pushed too hard when we were alone later too…"

"I'm glad you did," Azula said. Sokka raised his eyebrows. "Though you're starting to grow a little too good at understanding whatever I need, whenever I need it. It's, uh… disconcerting."

"Heh. It's always nice to know I'm surprising you in a good way," Sokka grinned. Azula smiled back at him. "But… you really seem calmer now. Was it Ursa, or…?"

"Actually… it was Yue."

Sokka froze, uncertain of what those words meant. Azula, however, smiled as she shook her head in his direction.

"Does it ever bother you, being right about things as often as you are?" she asked. Sokka blushed slightly.

"About… which things?" he asked.

"She doesn't hate me for… well, us. She actually… asked me what sleeping with you had been like, the utter weirdo," Azula laughed. Sokka smiled, cheeks flushing further upon hearing that. "I apologized, but she… she didn't need apologies. She didn't feel betrayed. She said she loved you… and that she loved me, too."

Sokka's eyes widened, though his heart soared upon hearing that: of course Yue would love Azula. Of course she would have grown to see what he had, surely far earlier too…

"Seems like she really just wants us to be happy together, so… guess we'll have to figure out how to achieve that, huh?" Azula smiled teasingly at him. Sokka chuckled, shrugging.

"I'm sure we have an idea or two on how to start," he said, stepping closer and taking her face into his hands.

This time, Azula was aware of the weight of Yue's mirror in her pocket. She didn't draw back from Sokka's kiss regardless, hand upon his chest as they pecked each other multiple times, relishing in a moment of privacy that they weren't likely to find anew once their journey to the Capital began.

And they might not have much of that even after they left, either.

"But the thing is, I… may have extended an offer to my mom to come with us," Azula whispered against his lips. Sokka raised an eyebrow, puzzled, and Azula kissed him softly once more, as though to coerce him into accepting that. "I know it'd mean more restraint for us, and we wouldn't be able to be crazy as much as we were yesterday, but…"

"Heh. That side of it is a shame, no lie, but… I'm fine with it," Sokka smiled warmly, brushing her hair with his fingers. Azula sighed in relief.

"If you're sure… go get your things. We're damn lucky that my brother isn't smart enough to realize half the clothes scattered in the room you were naked in were mine…"

"I think he was too appalled to stop and confirm who they belonged to," Sokka smiled awkwardly. "I'm not sure he'll ever be ready to know that we, uh… canoodled a little too much."

"That's the word you're going to use?" Azula asked, amused. Sokka chuckled and shrugged. "You're a goofball. Go, pick up your things, I'll get mine… and I'll pick up the mochi on my way out too. Let's get ready to face Zuko and his nonsense, shall we?"

Sokka nodded enthusiastically: they shared another thorough kiss, one in which Sokka dared sneak a few bold caresses, and Azula wound up entering her room in a perfectly blissful mood afterwards, as though she weren't about to march into a likely tricky situation in a matter of moments…

Zuko was upset, but he couldn't be too upset, could he? She hadn't done anything wrong right now. Ursa's support had been a shocker, but it might just be the best possible defense from her brother's wrath. Resolving her conflicts with Ursa certainly was one thing… figuring anything out with Zuko would be much more difficult, if just because of his disposition. Merely a few weeks ago, Azula would have told herself that she'd rather deal with her brother's hostility than her mother's emotional manipulation, her sad doe eyes, and her meaningless apologies… but Ursa's reaction to her rant, as well as the conversation they had shared just that morning, had caught her by surprise. She never imagined she might be able to start over with Ursa, and there truly would be no erasing their past… but it was about time to ensure that whatever troubled history they shared would not preclude the possibility of a better future.

The liveliness of Ember Island appeared slightly stunted, as most its population watched in confusion when their Fire Lord led a march towards the largest, grandest ship docked in their harbor: his Royal Barge would rush through the internal waters of the Fire Nation fast enough to bring them to the Capital in a couple of hours, at most. Thus, neither Sokka nor Azula bothered choosing cabins or even asking where they would stay for now: after enjoying their breakfast aboard the ship, sharing the mochi Ursa had found for Azula, they chose to wait on the deck instead of finding any private cabins, sitting together by the ship's railing… meanwhile, Ursa had dragged Zuko inside the ship's tower in order to have a thorough conversation about many things that Zuko appeared to need to hear.

"Well, despite it all, looks like we're going to end up in the Fire Nation Capital," Sokka reasoned, with a slight grimace. "Did he ever explain how he found us?"

"Not really," Azula said, relaxing against the ship's railing. "I suppose we were seen at some point. I'll try to ask later, or maybe you can… but Mom appears to be quite busy scolding him right now. Never thought I'd see the day…"

"A nice surprise, huh?" Sokka smirked. "Guess your mother wasn't as far gone as we thought she was…"

"We? You thought so too?" Azula asked. Sokka shrugged.

"No offense intended to her, but… she sounded like the exact opposite of my mother," Sokka said. Azula hummed, eyeing him with interest. "My mom sacrificed herself, lying to some piece of shit from the Southern Raiders to tell him that she was the last waterbender, rather than Katara. He… he killed her because of that."

Azula's stomach clenched. A swirling fear gripped her chest, with misplaced guilt that might not be as far out of place as she wished it were… for the ideology, the regime, responsible for the death of Sokka's mother was the one she had fought for, across all those years. She knew there were plenty of deaths and sacrifices throughout the war… but she hadn't known Sokka had faced one quite as close as that of his own mother.

"Katara's still working through it to this day. I didn't realize that was why it had happened until she told me, and she didn't even explain until a few years after she confronted the killer directly," Sokka explained. "Anyway… I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like, if my mother had been married to a bastard like your father, she would have never forsaken her kids, just as she didn't forsake Katara. Meanwhile, your mother…"

"She left us and forgot about us, yes," Azula said. Sokka shrugged.

"Even back when we found her, in Hira'a, I didn't really know how to feel about that," he said. "I kind of convinced myself to stay in my lane because it wasn't my business, you know? Who cared how I felt about something like this? But… as time goes by, I've realized I can't really help myself. It's just not fair, Azula. It never has been fair on you."

"No, I suppose not," Azula whispered, glancing at Sokka with uncertainty. "But a mother who would forsake her kids is… is probably less painful to lose than one who loved them with everything she had."

Sokka grimaced, glancing at her with uncertainty: Azula reached out to take his hand, careless about the sailors and soldiers who might see her.

"I'm sorry. Doesn't count for a damn thing, I had no real say upon what happened to your mother, but…" Azula said, gritting her teeth. "It was a lot easier to support the Fire Nation's war by closing our eyes to the rest of the world. That's what everyone seemed to learn how to do. Your mother should have never died that way."

"No, she definitely shouldn't have," Sokka said, with a fragile smile. "But… well, nothing can be done to bring her back, I guess. Though… huh. Wait a second! Ask Yue about the Spirit World! Ask her if the spirits of our people actually go there…!"

Azula blinked blankly, pulling out the mirror. Yue seemed as perplexed by the question as she was, and she offered her a sad smile along with a shake of her head.

"Looks like she doesn't know much about that," Azula said.

"Most souls don't really make it into the Spirit World that way, I think. They tend to be, well… sent back to the real world? Until the soul achieves enlightenment, I guess…"

"Says only the souls that achieve enlightenment would enter the Spirit World," Azula concluded. Sokka sighed and shrugged.

"Worth a shot," he said. "Anyway, your nation's soldiers are nasty, yeah, but… it was a long time ago. We were as good as babies back then. Don't feel responsible for it."

"So, it doesn't really matter that I wouldn't have cared about this one bit if I'd learned about it a year ago?" Azula probed him. Sokka snorted.

"Matters to you now. That's enough for me," he said, smiling at her. Azula shook her head.

"You're too nice for your own good. Still… I'm sorry you that didn't have a mother while growing up either," Azula said.

"If this subject had come up any sooner across our journey, I would've told you not to worry if yours never tried to do better for you," Sokka pointed out. Azula raised an eyebrow. "I mean… if she hadn't done anything but piss you off, the way it sounded like when you confronted her when she first turned up? Well, I would've understood if you hadn't wanted to give her another chance. Though… I suppose you do now, huh?"

"I don't know what's gotten into all of you," Azula said, startling Sokka. "Starting with you and Yue, having it in you to see more to me than anyone else did… and suddenly my mother is taking stands against Zuko for my sake?"

"Don't forget that Toph let you out of prison and handled Kuei and Zuko for us, though I have no idea how that turned out. One more thing to ask Zuko about," Sokka reasoned, tapping his chin with a finger. Azula sighed.

"None of you make any sense. How is it possible that the person who sees things and hears voices has a clearer understanding of reality compared to all of you?" Azula asked. Sokka laughed and shrugged.

"Guess you're special that way," he said. Azula's heart somersaulted in her chest at the sight of his affectionate smile. "Anyway… it's good that your mom wants to help you. Definitely improves my opinion of her so far. Honestly, it was about time someone in your family came through for you. Though I'm still a little surprised that we'll go as far as traveling with her…"

"I know that means we'll have a lot more pressure, and less privacy, and, well… it's going to be awkward. But to be fair, she already walked in on us once so, not much left to the imagination there anymore…" Azula sighed, cheeks flushing at the memory. "How the hell did I manage to talk to her or look her in the eye after that nonsense, exactly?"

"I can't say I know, but I'm glad you did," Sokka said, squeezing her hand gently.

"Of course you are," Azula sighed, glancing at him uneasily. "You sure you're fine with this? With… traveling with her?"

"Might be a bit awkward, sure… but she'd be more likely to keep us in check than Yue was," Sokka smiled awkwardly.

"The sneaky little troublemaker said she caught a few glimpses of us in the bathroom, through the mirror there…" Azula said, with a grimace. Sokka's cheeks flushed slightly. "She said she looked away after a while, but I'm starting to worry that she might not have. Naughty brat. Teenagers do have an inappropriate interest in these matters…"

"Well, I'd like to think she… has better sense than that. Restraint? I don't know," Sokka laughed. Azula scoffed as she pulled the mirror out, startling Sokka. "What, are you going to ask her if she'll behave herself right now?"

"Might as well," Azula said, glaring into the reflection. Yue smiled at her, cheeks slightly flushed, clearly having overheard their conversation. "You wouldn't look intentionally, or hear intentionally, whenever he and I are up to no good together, would you?"

"… Nooooo?"

"That's the most convincing negative answer I've heard in my life! Your lies are getting a lot worse now, mind you," Azula smirked.

"I wasn't lying as much as you think I was before! Maybe I am now, though… but Azula, I'm curious!"

"Well, that's unsettling. Tone down that curiosity," Azula huffed, shaking her head and staring at Sokka. "You're not wrong, my mother's definitely going to be a good asset. Otherwise, this one would get corrupted by how filthy we are, too."

"The Filthy Royals," Sokka said, proudly. Azula snorted and laughed. "It's not that bad, is it?"

"Sounds terrible," Azula as good as cackled. Sokka scoffed, shaking his head.

"Always so judgmental. We still don't have a team name and that's not very nice, mind you. Now that your mother's joining in too, it's going to be even harder to find a unifying factor."

"How about 'Sokka and the women he can't keep up with'? Sounds like a good name to me…"

"Very accurate, but too extensive. You'll have to be more concise," Sokka smirked. Azula laughed again, glancing at him sideways.

"Say…" she breathed in, holding his gaze briefly before tearing her eyes away. It wasn't easy opening up to people, but it was easier when it was Sokka. "I… thanks for not running out on me over my outburst from last night. I mean, you're probably the one person who has every chance to leave me and yet you've chosen to stay without fail. I might not deserve it, but I… I'm glad you chose to do that. I'm glad you didn't run away."

"I'm afraid I'm not the type to run from beautiful women. Instead, I chase them all over the world and fall head over heels for them without even trying," Sokka said. Azula snorted, staring at him skeptically. "I know we have a lot to figure out still, there might be more bumps along the way… but we'll do it, in time. Don't fret about it right now, okay?"

"Well… we should figure out what to do about Zuko, though," Azula pointed out, raising her eyebrows. Sokka blinked blankly. "By which I mean… that absurd nonsense we fed him about why you were sleeping naked apparently worked. He has no idea you and I, well…"

"Yeah, you know, he's very gullible sometimes," Sokka smiled awkwardly. Azula laughed and nodded. "But I guess what you mean is… do we keep it quiet still? Or do we talk things over, so we decide whether to come clean about it or not?"

"Thing is… do any of them even know that you and Suki are done?" Azula asked. Sokka shrugged.

"Toph knows. Don't know if she told Zuko, though," he said. "Though, frankly… is that a big cause for concern?"

"I'd rather they don't give you shit for cheating on her with me. You have to know what this looks like," Azula said, staring at him skeptically. "A hopeless man clinging to his past love has too many clashes and conflicts with his would-be wife, and as a consequence runs off to start an affair with the dangerous, deadly but apparently beautiful woman who's so very bad, absolutely no-good for him…"

"So, what, I'm having a midlife crisis at twenty-seven?" Sokka snorted. Azula laughed, dropping her head against the railing. "Well, guess when your life is as weird as mine has been, it's kind of justified for it to start earlier. Didn't you say that's what's going on with Yue too, as a spirit? Then… the Midlife Crisis Royals! Ha! That actually bonds all of us together, why not?"

"That's awful… most of all because you're not wrong," Azula snorted, bending over forward as she laughed harder. Sokka smirked proudly, arms folded across his chest.

"Gotcha with that one! We have a team name now, like it or not!"

"No, we don't! There's no way we're keeping that one, Sokka, anything but that!"

"C'mon, bet Yue agrees with me," Sokka said, taking the mirror from her and pointing it at Azula. "Hey, Yue, tell her! My idea is the best idea!"

"… I actually don't like it at all. Don't let him use that one, Azula."

Her negative broke Azula with further laughter – so used as she was to hearing Yue agreeing with Sokka on most accounts, she certainly didn't anticipate the opposite happening now.

"Well, well? Bet she thinks it's great! I'm sure she does!" Sokka snickered, waving the mirror proudly in front of Azula.

Standing by a window, in the ship tower's second level, Zuko scowled at the sight of his sister laughing quite so vividly at whatever Sokka was saying. Even in their younger years, he couldn't remember anyone, not even Aang, laughing that way at Sokka's nonsense. An uneasy feeling spread in his gut, one he wasn't sure how to interpret, or what to make of… for it had been quite a long time since he had experienced it over Azula.

Was she a better fit, a more fun companion, than he ever had been? If given a chance, would she mesh perfectly with his friends, better than he ever had? Would he lose everything he had gained to her, if she was granted the chance to heal that their mother was asking him to offer her?

"You didn't send her to the asylum when you did because you thought she was a lost cause, or did you?" Ursa huffed. Zuko gritted his teeth, tearing his gaze away from the pair by the deck. "Otherwise, you would have chosen prison. Even if you didn't understand the full extent of what they did to her in the institute, you had to have believed it was a better choice for her health than a fate as bleak as your father's."

"Had better conversations with my father in prison than I did with her, though," Zuko said.

"Maybe that's more of a reflection of what that asylum could do to a person, rather than anything that determines whether your father or your sister are better people," Ursa said. "Truly, Zuko… as difficult as this may be for you to wrap your head around, it shouldn't be. I'm not going to change my mind about her. She's not manipulating me."

"Right, because this initiative to go travel the world with those two isn't their doing?" Zuko asked. "Say what you will, Mom, but she could have guilted you into wanting something you actually don't…"

"And what if I do want it?" Ursa asked. Zuko gritted his teeth. "What if I need time away from home?"

"But…" Zuko said. Ursa raised an eyebrow.

"But what?" she said. "You forgave me when I abandoned you and your sister all those years ago. This time, I'd be choosing to travel with her and hopefully help her find peace…"

"It's not the same," Zuko said: his heart churned upon realizing the real reason why it wasn't, but he bottled it in for now. "She's dangerous, Mom. Right now, she's saying she sees Yue, but what if she goes off the rails in some worse way later too? You can't know what you're going to get with her."

"You think she's going to kill me and Sokka eventually?" Ursa asked. Zuko winced. "I'm not sure I believe that would happen. Fact is, I… I would even argue that it wouldn't. She has been with Sokka for a long time, and if anything, it seems they're getting along marvelously right now."

"That doesn't mean much. Sokka, Aang and Toph didn't give me a hard time when I joined their group. Only Katara did," Zuko said.

"So, you'd only learn to trust her if Katara did?" Ursa asked. Zuko winced.

"No, I'm just saying…"

"You wouldn't trust her at all, not even if your friends do."

Zuko shivered, lowering his gaze. Ursa folded her arms over her chest.

"Zuko, dear… I love you. You know I do. I've done terrible things, I've made awful mistakes… and I haven't made up for many, if any of them, so far. You forgave me regardless because you loved me. Because you prized me. Because your need for my wellbeing, my safety, my happiness, was paramount to finding justice. Am I wrong?"

"Well… no? But you're you, and she's her!" Zuko scoffed.

"And what if you could heal your bond?" Ursa asked. "What if you could sit with those two and laugh alongside them, too?"

Zuko froze. Ursa shook her head slowly.

"You've been poisoned terribly by your father, Zuko. In ways you never truly understood," Ursa said. Zuko winced.

"That's not… I'm not my father. I'm not!"

"I never said you were. But treating your sister as a wanted criminal, to be hunted all across the world? Isn't that the same thing your father did to his brother? To you?"

Zuko yelped. Ursa sighed, taking his hands in hers.

"No, Azula didn't do things so terrible that she cannot be forgiven for them. By all means, Iroh's death toll will always be far greater than either yours or Azula's could have been," Ursa said. "And yet you can accept him, while turning your back on her. I don't blame you, dear, for your uncertainties and your fear, for not wanting your sister to be around you constantly… but there comes a point in life where we need to stop running away from the harder truths we don't want to face. Azula brought me to realize that. She told me many things I didn't want to hear, but that I had to. And maybe that's what you need to prepare yourself for: listen. Don't just talk back, don't just defend yourself… listen. You have good intentions, dear… but you cannot do anything with them if you refuse to open your heart to other people's needs. More so when you're actually trying to help them."

"Well… I wasn't really trying to help Azula," Zuko confessed, frowning. "And I'm not even sure I want to. I keep thinking she'll just spit it all right back at me if I try."

"Is that any reason not to try at all?" Ursa asked. Zuko flinched. "Your uncle didn't give up on you even when you didn't make matters easy for him, he's told me so, as did you. It wasn't until you opened your heart to him, until his needs mattered as much as your own, that you learned to appreciate him properly. Azula? I think she's at that stage with Sokka, and maybe with Yue, too. Your sister isn't some nightmare to fend off, or merely a terrorist to fight against: she's your family. And you're one of the most powerful people in the world right now, dear. This nation is full of people who believed in the same things she did, and if they'd had the power she held, they wouldn't have acted any differently than she did. You're their Fire Lord: you're her Fire Lord. Wouldn't it be suitable for you to do right by your every subject, no matter how difficult it might be?"

"It's different when you're talking about Azula," Zuko scowled. "She's… not my subject. I haven't thought of her as that ever before."

"Then maybe it's time for you to start," Ursa said. Zuko winced, uncertain. "You're her older brother. And you cannot hope to heal this world, this nation, if you'll give up on members of your own family just because it's hard. In her case, half the work, more of it, even, was already done by others. If she could reach an understanding with me, she surely can with you too. All you have to do is… try."

Zuko gritted his teeth, a fist tightened: that sounded like a taller order than he was ready to commit to… even though, objectively, it shouldn't have been. Trying something didn't necessarily translate to sticking with a set course for good. If Azula went off the rails again, as she often did, Zuko very well could prove to everyone how wrong they had been about his sister.

But if she didn't… then maybe he could be a better brother, starting here and now. It was difficult to fathom, it made him deeply uncomfortable… but if Sokka and Ursa were right to stand by Azula, if she truly was seeing Yue and changing in more ways than he knew? Perhaps… they'd have a chance to be a real family one day. Perhaps.

"I'll talk to her once we get to the Palace," Zuko said. Ursa raised her eyebrows. "I… will try to mend fences. But she does have things to answer for… and I hope she's ready to do it."

"I'm sure she will be," Ursa said, with a genuine smile. "Thank you, Zuko. Your sister needs this, so much more than she realizes. Her heart is finally on the mend, thanks to Sokka and Yue… we could be part of that too. Wouldn't you like to have a positive impact on her life, lead her on a better path…?"

"I… guess I might not mind that. But we'll see," Zuko said. Ursa sighed, smiling still as she approached Zuko.

"Thank you for trying, dear. Thank you."

He hugged her back, uneasy, unsteady. A part of him wondered if Ursa would regret her earlier harshness… but he didn't dare ask. If she didn't, she might just be upset at him for so much as suggesting that she should…

Would she stand up to Azula similarly, if their roles were reversed? The realization that she would, that she might just have gone further for his sake, chilled Zuko's heart as he held his mother closely. He was a fool, wasn't he? Envying his sister for having their mother's attention, if just briefly… she was Azula's mother too. Just as she was Kiyi's. As special as his bond with Ursa might be… he would be an utter bastard if he tried to keep Ursa to himself when she had other children to watch over, too.

He sighed as he glanced through the window anew: their destination approached. His conversation with Azula wouldn't wait for much longer.

The Princess was visibly unsettled upon being in the Fire Nation Capital as herself this time. Her attire, far too casual, suited Ember Island so much better than the grand seat of power of her people. She'd change into something else as soon as she had the chance, maybe ask Sokka to fix her hair too…

But Zuko wouldn't give her that chance: as soon as they crossed the threshold into the Palace, the Fire Lord turned towards her with a stern frown.

"We'll talk privately," he said. Sokka huffed. "And I don't know why that bothers you so much, Sokka, but this doesn't concern you."

"It… doesn't," Sokka said, begrudgingly – he couldn't claim to be concerned over Azula's safety to that extent, not unless they were ready to set off Zuko's alarms regarding their relationship.

Still, he sighed as Azula shrugged – clearly, she wasn't all that pleased for this outcome, but she wasn't about to run away from her brother either.

"See you when I get out, I guess," she said, simply. Sokka sighed.

"Hey… wait."

Azula had merely taken one step forward when Sokka took her hand, placing the mirror carefully in her palm.

"I'd taken it earlier, before we arrived, remember?" Sokka smiled a little. "You won't be alone if Yue's with you."

"Heh. Sabotaging Zuzu's attempt to speak privately with me, I see," Azula said, though she couldn't hide her genuine, fond smile. "Thank you."

Sokka grinned brightly: Zuko scowled upon realizing he hadn't seen Sokka in such a good mood in… years, at least. Perhaps since around the years of the end of the war…

How, exactly, had Azula brought him to be that happy? Was it Azula at all, or was it Yue? It was much easier to believe it'd be the latter… but the fond smiles between them left an awkward feeling nestling in his gut.

He tried to ignore that sensation as he led his sister into a private sitting room. There'd be no pleasantries, no shared tea… they'd just talk. Hopefully, Sokka and Ursa would know better than to try to eavesdrop as they spoke.

"Well… looks like things are looking up for you," Zuko said, turning towards her with a prominent scowl on his face. Azula raised an eyebrow as she stood across him, arms folded over her chest. "Mom's… defending you without hesitation. I'd never seen her do that."

"It's hard to believe for me too, so you're not alone if you're confused," Azula said.

"I feel like I don't understand any of it," Zuko said, shaking his head and staring at her in confusion. "You're having new hallucinations, visions, whatever they are… and yet you sound more like yourself than you have in ages. You have people standing up for you and defending you to this extent, it's… weird."

"It's quite alright, I don't know how it happened even though I was there the whole time," Azula admitted, with a shrug. "Though… you're not the only one confused about certain things regarding each other. How, exactly, did you find us in Ember Island?"

"Oh. It took us a while to pick up on your trail," Zuko said, bitterly. "My guards eventually sought the Mechanist, he told them he'd given Sokka a hot-air balloon. After that, it was just a matter of waiting for sightings of unregistered, non-military hot-air balloons anywhere. Someone caught sight of you by the western Earth Kingdom, so we traveled there… once the next military sightings report claimed the balloon was sighted landing in Ember Island, I didn't hesitate to go there as soon as possible."

"So, you had all your soldiers looking for me, huh?" Azula said, raising her eyebrows. "I almost feel important and everything now…"

"Yeah, well… sure," Zuko huffed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry that I misunderstood that you'd kidnapped Sokka, but I hope you realize you… you don't make it exactly easy to think any better of you."

"Well, I didn't for all these years, that's certainly true. Do you expect me to throw a tantrum over how you don't trust me, or like me, or treat me with respect?" Azula asked, with a slight smirk. "Though I suppose that last one might be a fair one to protest against, come to think of it…"

"I don't want you to throw anything, I just… I want to understand what exactly is going on," Zuko scowled. "You abandoned your group, you traveled to the north, you're ride-or-die with Sokka suddenly… you have to realize it makes no sense. And after showing up in Ba Sing Se and causing unnecessary trouble…"

"Did you only hear about Ba Sing Se?" Azula asked, raising an eyebrow. "That wasn't our first stop, actually. Didn't Suki reach out to you?"

"Was she supposed to?" Zuko asked, frowning.

"That's… odd," Azula blinked blankly. "Here I thought she was that mad at Sokka once they broke up, threatening that she'd only give us one day to leave before alerting everyone that we were there. Maybe she actually had a soft spot for him still. The truth is we went to Kyoshi Island first, they had the break-up of the century, then we left again. That's where I found out that you were hunting for me, dead or alive…"

"I… I'll rescind that order," Zuko said, self-aware and uncomfortable. "I thought… you'd crossed a line. Turned out Sokka joined you willingly, though…"

"There really was no sign that he hadn't done that," Azula pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Zuko winced. "Whichever one of you lot decided I could only have kidnapped him, well… you'd have to give me a smidge of credit after this and admit that at least one weirdo in the world would travel with me willingly rather than dragged into it kicking and screaming."

"We jumped to conclusions and we shouldn't have. But… you do have to admit it looked weird. And like I said, you really…"

"I don't make it easy? No, I don't. Did I say otherwise?" Azula said, with a slight smirk. "I don't pity you at all, Zuzu, you have it pretty damn hard, being my brother. I don't know what you brought me here for, if what you want is an apology you might as well wait forever…"

"You're not sorry for any of what you've done over the last decade?" Zuko asked. Azula winced.

"I… didn't exactly say that," Azula said. "Just said I wouldn't apologize for it."

"So, you're not."

"I'm sorry enough for a lot of things," Azula said, glaring at him. "But… I was vindictive. I was angry, bitter and frustrated and I wanted to hurt you so you'd suffer as much as I was suffering. That's the truth. If you don't like it, that's not my business. I wanted vindication, revenge, what-have-you… and nothing I did actually got me any closer to attaining any of it. So, I failed at my quest to piss you off, and I joined Sokka in a weird journey to please a spirit that only I can see. It's… strange how different it is, living life that way. It wasn't all that comfortable at the start, but it is now. I can't fathom going back to what I was doing before."

"Because Sokka is… more fun?" Zuko asked. Azula shrugged.

"Would it be a problem for you, if that were the sole reason for it?" she asked. Zuko scowled. "Still would mean you're free from being tormented by me…"

"Until you get bored of him," Zuko finished. Azula laughed.

"I'm afraid that's not very likely. He's… a surprisingly resourceful man," Azula said. "Always has something to say that catches me off guard. Like Yue put it once… we're two master strategists in a battlefield of words, somehow. He's far more interesting than you or any of his other friends likely realize…"

"Or maybe you're both just weird in similar ways. Which I'd never have expected, but frankly, his sense of humor is about as strange as yours," Zuko pointed out. Azula laughed.

"I've noticed. I hate laughing at his jokes, but he makes it too easy sometimes," Azula admitted.

"Then… all this stuff about Yue?" Zuko said, eyeing her warily. "Sokka and her were a thing once. You said your entire purpose is to get her to see the world and experience the seasons and so on? I'm not going to say it's a bad purpose, I mean, it's by far the most harmless thing I've ever heard you want to do. But it sounds like a temporary diversion or so. Once she's satisfied, what will you do?"

"I suppose… that's something I'll figure out once we get there," Azula said, with a shrug. "Though if it makes you feel any better, I…"

The words got stuck in her throat at first, and Azula actually smiled a little as something deep inside her seemed to snap. Something she didn't really know nestled inside her broke off, leaving her untethered… forsaken, somehow. Her hand trembled, and she glanced at Yue in the mirror briefly as she processed what a treacherous thought had crossed her mind… a thought she couldn't help but feel keenly, acutely, in her heart. She breathed deeply, and Zuko frowned at the strange sincerity in her voice.

"I actually never imagined I'd come back to the Fire Nation peacefully… and I certainly have no plans of staying here forever."

Zuko's eyes widened. Azula gritted her teeth: those might just have been the most painful words she had ever spoken. She offered Zuko a dry grin then, covering up her vulnerability as best she could.

"So… that," she said. "I think I'd just wait and see what Sokka has in mind. He's weird, sure, but he's the most reliable ally I've ever traveled with. Seems like he wants to stick with me for the foreseeable future too, so…"

"You think he'd stay even after Yue is gone?" Zuko asked. Azula's heart clenched.

"I… hope so," Azula said. "He's said he would, at least."

"Really?" Zuko blinked blankly. "W-wait. Why?"

"Why?" Azula repeated, slightly affronted.

"I'm… not sure I follow," Zuko said, blinking blankly. "You two are, uh… best friends now?"

"Huh. I'm not sure that we are. Which one of them might be my best friend, come to think of it?" Azula said, glancing at Yue in the mirror. She giggled and waved in her direction, and Azula smiled at her.

"Sokka. Say it's Sokka," Zuko said, with a wild grin. Azula crooked an eyebrow.

"What's it to you, exactly…?"

"Toph said weird shit and I would like to confirm that she's wrong about it, is all," Zuko said, bitterly. Azula raised her eyebrows. "She said you'd… seduced Sokka and that's why he was completely wrapped around your finger, basically."

Azula snorted, then cackled by throwing her head back – a slight relief to Zuko, who smiled awkwardly at her reaction.

"Seduced Sokka? She sure gives me too much credit if she thinks I'd have the first clue of how to do such a thing," Azula laughed, shaking her head. "If Sokka fell in love with me, it'd be his fault entirely. I sure as hell did nothing to make it happen, I can guarantee that much."

"Huh. You know, that's not very tranquilizing either," Zuko grimaced. "Sokka's… weird. Suki was too normal for him, I guess…"

"Oh? So you're saying he needed an abnormal kind of partner instead?" Azula asked, raising her eyebrows. Zuko winced, raising a hand as though to stop her.

"I didn't mean… I just mean I'm not really sure how Sokka was having a good time by dating her! If anything, I'd think he wasn't. Which is possibly why they broke up."

"Sounds like it," Azula said, stubbornly. "Believe me, if he dated me, I'd give him far more interesting and entertaining reasons to break up with me."

"I'm not sure he'd choose to date you just so you can break up with him by… ugh! Could you not entangle my head with nonsense?" Zuko groaned. Azula smirked. "Look… I get that I can't change you or make you become the perfect sister for me…"

"Do you?" Azula asked, eyeing him skeptically. Zuko frowned. "Worth noting I can't do that to you, either. You're far too set in your ways for you to be my dream brother too."

"You… you'd change me?" Zuko asked, frowning. Azula smirked.

"I just said I wouldn't. But I'm not the one who replaced the two unpalatable members of my family with new, pleasant ones instead," she said. Zuko's eyes widened.

"I… Kiyi isn't a replacement for you! And I'm not even close to Noren…"

"Your little sister who loves and gushes over you isn't a replacement for the one who made your life a nightmare, apparently?" Azula smiled sadly. "As for Noren and father… if you're not close to him, then he's gotten the fundamentals of the job right, wouldn't you say?"

Zuko gritted his teeth: Azula's words hurt… but he couldn't help but notice that Azula, too, was hurt. He didn't usually notice as much… but this time, he raised his gaze to find that she appeared mournful of the fate they were facing as siblings.

"Point is… you haven't been optimal yourself. I've tried, yes, to mess with you and cause you grief… but I never really imagined you'd ever conform to being the brother I'd want you to be. Doesn't seem logical for you to start trying now."

"Why not?" Zuko asked. Azula laughed.

"I'm not challenging you, Dum-Dum. You're so ridiculous when you get like this," she said. "I'm fine, Zuko. I have no… no right to ask anything of you. That's not what this ever was, I… I admit it's pathetic to say it, but I just wanted to matter and I knew I never would if I went about it in any other way. Or, at least, I've never learned how. Point is… I fucked up, purposefully and intentionally. I'm not here to apologize because I don't think you have any real reason to forgive me, no matter if I'll never do it again. If that's what you were waiting for…"

"I… I don't know what I was expecting," Zuko said, frowning. "But probably more along the lines of you admitting that you're only traveling with Sokka out of convenience, and that you don't actually want him around much but he's useful so far…?"

"You really think I can only manipulate my way through life, don't you?" Azula said. "Granted, I know why you think so, but that's not the case. Sokka joined me, Yue roped me into this journey in the first place… the few times I've tried to do anything mischievous in this trip, it hasn't gone all that well. And somehow… they keep me busy enough that I can't really focus on doing anything to trouble you. Which, then, translates to me losing my taste for messing with you."

Zuko sighed, lowering his gaze.

"Would you get that taste back if I'm not paying attention?" he asked. Azula rolled her eyes. "I'm serious. You say that you weren't really trying to do anything that terrible with your actions… but the thing is, you did cause trouble and when it wasn't you, it was them. Your allies."

"Right, but…" Azula said, frowning. "While we certainly destabilized your rule, caused chaos whenever we cared to, we never did anything quite as bad as to truly hamper your efforts to fix the Fire Nation, did we? If anything, I've been a perfect villain for you to show the whole populace just why things need to change, or am I wrong? It was either you or me on that throne, and the more irresponsible behavior I display, the happier they'll be that it's you. Isn't it at least slightly beneficial to you?"

"You're acting like none of what you did had lasting consequences that could harm the nation…" Zuko said, gritting his teeth. "And you know what? Maybe you didn't. Even if you might have tried, maybe you actually showed some restraint I never truly registered as such before, and you never did something that devastating. But them? You have no idea what they did while you were gone, do you?"

Azula frowned. Zuko gritted his teeth, fists tight by his hips.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, her voice unsteady: she had a feeling she knew what Zuko would say, but even so…

"They burned down the asylum."

Silence.

Azula's heart thumped with triumph… and fear.

"Did… did they get them out?" Azula asked. "The other patients, even the staff…"

Zuko's frown spoke for itself. Azula's sinking dread hit square in her gut, and she snarled as she tore her eyes away from him.

"I thought it was your final move," Zuko said. "Your full-blown act of war. By the time we got there, it was too late. Whole place… burned. Fifty-seven casualties. Some, family visitors. Most of them, patients. The rest, staff. Everyone dead… and not by any mistake. No, everyone in the building died because the people responsible for that crime ensured to shut the doors, the windows, every single exit…!"

"You can't be…" Azula snarled: even if she wanted to deny it, she knew she couldn't do it. Zirin… she would have done it. Azula knew as much.

"Everyone in the premises died… and we tracked down the culprits shortly afterwards. That's when I caught Zirin, and when she told me where you were," Zuko said. "They're in the Prison Tower right now. Awaiting their sentences."

"What are you going to…?" Azula asked, glancing at Zuko with uncertainty.

"I don't know," he admitted. "But I'm struggling to figure out how to show them any mercy."

"Zuko, you… you don't understand what the asylum was like," Azula said, staring at him warily. Zuko scowled. "You never were there as a patient…"

"That doesn't justify what they did!"

"I agree!" Azula exclaimed, startling Zuko. "But… they unleashed the pent-up rage and wrath that place stirred inside them. That place, their families, everyone who played a role in putting them there… do you understand what it feels like, being forsaken in a place that constantly demeans you, dehumanizes you, subjects you to every kind of humiliation whenever you try to fight back, and affords you no dignity anyway, even when you don't fight at all? To be treated like a beast more than a person, to be spoken to as though you were some inferior kind of being…!"

"I don't think I get it, no, but it's not like I haven't been through dehumanizing, cruel things myself," Zuko said.

"The difference is the man who subjected you to the worst of yours is rotting in jail. The one who did it to me is standing right in front of me."

Zuko froze. Azula's accusatory glare caught him in an uncomfortable spot, and she shook her head.

"I… I understand why you did it. I'm not stupid. I know you had no time for me, I know you had no idea how to help me, you had a nation to run… but you don't know what it's like to be truly forsaken. Say what you will… you had Iroh. If you didn't have him, you had Mai. You had our mother. I… I had our father? Do you think he would have ever visited me, if he had been free to do so? He would have denounced me as unworthy of being his heir, if anything… imperfect, broken, damaged as I am. And even if I'm wrong… he was in prison. How could he check on me? But it wasn't just him… it was you. Iroh. Mai, Ty Lee… not a single one of you ever thought that reaching out to me while I was locked in that blasted place was a good idea. And you know what that looks like? It looks like you just want me out of the way. Like I was someone else's problem now, not yours. Like you just needed me to stop being a hazard to your goals and maybe then you'll try to be my brother… and that's a big 'maybe' anyhow. And you're none other than the Fire Lord, with all the resources and power at your disposal… and you couldn't even hire personal physicians to look after me in your home. You threw me out to a distant institution… so I wouldn't be a bother. Even if that wasn't your intention, that's what it looked like.

"And that's what they went through, too, with their own families. Every woman who didn't conform, every girl who dared have ideas different to what their relatives wanted them to follow, anyone who didn't behave exactly as they were expected to. Their own families and loved ones did it to them just as you did it to me. They were angry. They hated that place, more than I did even, and that's saying something. It was a glorified prison, where you could be subjected to the worst of alleged treatments only to be told that you hadn't been through enough of it yet and you needed some more still. I probably didn't even get it as bad as the others… I was only there for a year. Point is… it's not that I don't understand your position. I do. But I don't think the answer to what they did is… killing them. All you'd do is add to the catastrophe's death toll."

"They're more than just casualties of an accident: they instigated it. They're dangerous, Azula," Zuko said. Azula shrugged.

"I'm dangerous too," she said. "And in case you forgot? So are you."

Zuko winced. Azula wasn't accusatory, even if she could have been.

"You're not as healthy as you'd like to think you are," Azula said. "You're not okay, Zuzu. Maybe you never have been, to begin with. But as messed up as your choices were… you got out of being locked up in a place like that and then managed to join the winning team before the war ended. You could have very well ended up in a place like the asylum, by Father's orders, if I had brought you back as he wanted me to, at first. As a prisoner."

Zuko shuddered: he didn't want to think of that possibility. But Azula appeared determined to make him do exactly that.

"Would you have shown restraint?" Azula asked, frowning. "If you had been told you were not human, incapable of love, a rare case of madness, an intriguing subject to study… if you had heard them laugh off your misfortunes, talk about how loaded they'd be because you were of the Royal Family and they'd finally fill the institution's coffers that way, thinking you were too badly out of it with the medicine to overhear what they were saying? If they'd forced you to swallow food, herbs, unknown remedies that would make you feel numb and close to death? If they had… had messed up their dosage to the point where they killed someone in the stretcher near yours?"

Zuko flinched: the picture Azula painted for him clearly was taking a toll on him. Azula shook her head.

"I'm not saying Zirin and the others deserve to be forgiven. As much as every bastard working in that place was unforgivable, I had no intentions of killing them if we ever decided on taking revenge. Zirin made me design a revenge strategy, you see… I did it, and she kept asking for more violence. For a stronger revenge than just sabotaging the place or burning it once everyone was out safely. I refused to do it, I constantly told her we wouldn't make any moves on the asylum until we could get all the remaining patients out safely…"

"And she never listened," Zuko finished. Azula gritted her teeth.

"I was the leader. She listened solely because of that. It's no surprise that the first thing she did, once I wasn't there to keep an eye on her, was destroying that place recklessly."

"You would have saved the other patients?" Zuko asked. "Granted, the most dangerous ones would have been the ones you brought with you, but…"

"That's not necessarily true," Azula said. Zuko frowned. "You don't understand, do you? We were the family pests that nobody wanted to deal with. I had hallucinations? No doubt. But half of them had no conditions of any kind. I don't know how many people were admitted in the asylum without being mentally ill or disturbed in any way to begin with. It felt like… like they force-fed them alleged medicine that caused unwanted, unacceptable behaviors in people, just to justify keeping them there. That's what that place was like. That's why I'm not sorry to learn it was destroyed… and that's why I can't help but be furious that Zirin would decide not to save anyone who still could be helped."

"Would you have saved them?" Zuko asked. Azula shrugged.

"I tried when I broke out my allies in the first place," she said. Zuko's eyes widened. "I offered them the chance to leave. Over half the patients were too scared to try. They wanted to stay because they hoped… maybe by putting up with all of it, they'd get to go home one day. I won't pretend any of them trusted me, no doubt several must have thought I was more dangerous than the asylum staff and that must be why they didn't join me… but I never thought they should have died the way you say they did. They were no different from the rest of us."

Azula scowled: that this would afflict her quite so strongly came as a surprise to her, too. Initially, she had told Zirin they wouldn't destroy the asylum altogether because it would be deemed an act of war. Their team didn't need that kind of publicity, most of all when they were about to begin their act as the Kemurikage. But then she asked again, and again, and again… Azula didn't overlook the extent of the damage Zirin had suffered, but their group couldn't afford, couldn't field, a mission quite so dangerous. Zuko was never going to let that one go… just as he didn't. Massively murdering everyone in that building was not a laughing matter: Azula had asked Zirin if she was ready to pay the price for that destruction, and Zirin never failed to scoff at her sentimentality. Only practicality had kept her at bay for some time: they'd get too much attention otherwise, they couldn't afford that. But now… now, after putting so much distance between herself and that place, after seeing the world through different eyes, Azula's heart grieved for the people who weren't saved. She snarled, fists tight.

"Are you going to execute them?" she asked. Zuko sighed.

"I don't know. Maybe not," he said. Azula glanced at him in confusion. "But you have to understand this kind of chaos cannot go unpunished."

"I don't disagree. I just… don't know if I want you to kill them for it," Azula admitted. Zuko sighed, shaking his head.

"I don't even know what I'd do anymore. When I captured them, I was ready to do something final. Right now… I don't know," Zuko admitted. "Truthfully, I don't want them in prison. The Boiling Rock might sound like the best choice, going forward, but… it's not, is it? They could escape just as well, set it on fire, kill everyone there…"

"They'll always be a hazard, is what you're thinking," Azula said. Zuko shrugged.

"You don't expect that to be different now just because I caught them, do you?" he asked. "The only way they won't cause chaos is if I keep them contained, chi-blocked, fully restrained…"

"And then you'll just give them further reason to cause chaos as soon as there's any weakness, any leniency for them," Azula said. Zuko frowned. "That's the thing about hurting people, holding them against their will… it tends to breed resentment and grudges strong enough to last a lifetime. You wouldn't ask anyone who was a prisoner of war to forgive our father for what he did to them, would you?"

"It's different," Zuko said.

"Not where the imprisoned person is standing, it's not," Azula said. "The way they see it, you're complicit in the hell we faced in the asylum. You even left your own inconvenient relative there, too. They'd see it as no reason to change their ways."

"And yet you want me to believe you did change yorus?" Zuko asked. Azula shrugged, raising the mirror in his direction.

"Not that I was looking to change in any way, I certainly didn't care to at first. Took well over a year for Yue's influence to start gaining ground on me," Azula said, glancing at the mirror. Yue smiled wistfully. "But… I think the main thing that helped was having something in common, a goal that all three of us were striving for. We had to work together, and that meant each other's struggles and problems were everyone's concern. I don't know how anything like that could be achieved with Zirin."

"You could talk to her," Zuko said, simply. Azula sighed.

"You'd let me?" she asked. "I wouldn't even know what to say."

"Tell her you're not doing any of your destabilizing efforts anymore," Zuko said. "Tell her you're done with that, and that she'd better be done too unless she wants to deal with…"

"Then… heh. You want me to control her with fear?"

Zuko froze. Azula eyed him with a compassionate smile that turned mirthful shortly.

"As far as my personal experiences go, controlling others with fear can be terribly effective until it's not. People have ways of finding more courage than they ever held inside their hearts and turn on you when you don't expect it," Azula said. "Sounds easy enough at first… but it means you'll most likely end up living in fear your whole life, too. Can't advise it if you don't want to face more hardships than you'd be comfortable with."

Zuko snarled. He knew Azula was making sense, perhaps too much of it. He sighed, covering his face with his hand before shaking his head.

"What's your idea, then?" he asked. "What would you do to fix this?"

"Why are you asking me?" Azula said.

"Because you're making too much sense, so maybe you know how to make this better," Zuko asked. Azula grimaced. "What made you change was… Sokka and Yue? How do we give your allies anything of the sort?"

"You can't force something like that," Azula warned him. Zuko scoffed. "I mean it. They'd be more likely to set an olive branch on fire than to ever accept it smoothly if you hand it to them with the obvious intent of making them change and adapt to a life they don't care to live. If you'd personally showed up in front of me and entrusted me with Yue, somehow, I would have never listened to a single word she said, let alone would I have treated Sokka as anything but a would-be jailor following me everywhere. You had nothing to do with that, hence why I had a much easier time learning to… trust them."

"Then what do we do?" Zuko huffed. "I don't think keeping them in jail forever is going to be fine, or that they'd even stay there forever, they're likely to find a way to escape. Right now? I think… I think they're waiting for you."

"They expect me to break them out," Azula concluded.

"They wouldn't take it well if you show up as newly pardoned and allowed to be part of the family again, though, would they?" Zuko asked. Azula scoffed.

"But I'm not those things… am I?" Azula stared at him skeptically. Zuko winced.

"I… I guess it remains to be seen," he admitted. "But the point is, if I'm the one sending you… they're not going to take it well."

"They'd take it far worse if I pretend not to be your ally and it's inevitably discovered that I was talking to them by your command," Azula pointed out. Zuko sighed.

"Is there no solution to this damn madness?" he asked. "I don't even know what I was expecting from you, but it definitely wasn't… that you couldn't help me deal with them."

"I don't know that I can. But what, exactly, did you hope for me to accomplish?" Azula inquired, crooking an eyebrow. Zuko sighed.

"I don't even know. Talk things over with them. You understand what they did. Say… that I won't execute them for the asylum, even though a lot of people are demanding that I do. Say that I won't take it that far, and I mean it. What you've explained is… alarming. I don't know why I never thought…"

"You had no time for it. It's not really a defense… just a fact," Azula said. "Besides, you had very little cause for concern, right? I'm the problem and if someone's causing chaos, it's most likely me rather than my captor – or, rather, the physician attempting to control my every move…"

"Did they… make it worse?" Zuko asked. Azula frowned. "I mean, whether for you or the others. Your breakdown… was it a sign of something bigger, deeper, or did they just take advantage of my belief that it was, when it wasn't?"

"That's hard to say," Azula admitted. "I don't have the most accurate memories, frankly, when it comes to what happened. But it's possible, yes, that they weren't trying to help anyone heal. I'm not sure if it takes a year to recover from what I went through, but their grand treatments typically only made my mind more chaotic, and their therapy attempts didn't help matters either. They convinced me of… of the worst things I believed of myself, I suppose. I'm only realizing that they might have been wrong now."

"Then… could you talk to them from that angle?" Zuko asked. Azula raised an eyebrow. "Tell them the truth about what they did, and whatever they convinced them of. Make them understand that… well, the point should have never been to treat anyone interned in the asylum as a criminal. You're not undesirables in society… you were people who needed help, not to be tossed aside. And I… I did exactly that to you."

Azula frowned: it wasn't every day that Zuko seemed so torn up about whatever mistakes he had made… more so, when those mistakes concerned her. Azula waited patiently as he composed himself, and he raised his gaze towards her.

"I don't know where we'll go after this. I don't know what to offer you. I can't make up for my mistakes," he said. "But… I can try to break the cycle. To stop treating you as I have. To… to be a better brother, even if I barely know where to start with that."

"You'll have to figure that one out yourself. I have no expectations and no demands," Azula said. "But I do believe I should clarify one thing, Zuzu… I already said it earlier, but I'll say it again: I'm not back to stay."

Zuko eyed her with uncertainty upon hearing those words anew. Azula swallowed hard.

"Maybe I will do that one day, I don't know, but… I haven't finished my duties to Yue. And once I do, I might still not end up here again later anyhow," Azula said.

"You say that, but going to the Earth Kingdom would be very dangerous for you," Zuko said. "The manhunt for you in the Fire Nation will end, but…"

"And that's good to know, but I might not need to stay here forever even so," Azula shrugged. Zuko's eyes widened. "Did you hope I would?"

"Well… after what you've said, I figured you might go on the road for a while longer. But this is your home, isn't it?" he asked. Azula smiled.

"Did it still feel that way, once you returned from your banishment? I was under the impression it didn't," she pointed out. Zuko gritted his teeth, fists tight.

"If that's how you feel right now, well… it's bound to be my fault. But that was never my intent," Zuko said. "If I can…"

"I don't know that you can, and I don't know that you should have to," Azula said, shaking her head. "We're having a productive conversation right now, and you're finally listening to me, which I appreciate a lot, Zuzu… but I don't think this should be for the sake of ensuring that I stay at your beck and call constantly. If you've been running this nation without my help, you can carry on doing it too. If you want my aid, it's still up to me to decide that I'll give it. But for now… life has enough things left to offer me, even though I figured it didn't. If all signs point to the Fire Nation, I'll come back, but… I'm enjoying everything else far more than I thought I would."

"Dad would be cross if he knew that. Which is always a good thing," Zuko said. Azula smiled a little.

"You never really did get to see the world just for the sake of it," Azula said. Zuko shrugged. "You were on a mission, and just surviving eventually… but you didn't see the Earth Kingdom or the Water Tribes for what they were, with no pressures. I suppose… I recommend it. Maybe you'll want to abdicate by then, though I'm not sure who you'd hand the throne to if you did. I… I really don't want it."

She said the words casually… but a stronger smile spread over her face after she did. A soft laugh left her lips and she smiled brightly. Zuko's heart clenched at the sight of it… of such clarity and certainty in his usually troubled sister's visage.

"I don't want to be Fire Lord," Azula said, closing her eyes. "And that's probably the most liberating thing I've ever come to realize."

Zuko nodded, accepting her decision: it was different than him claiming she'd never take the title for herself. Azula had reached that point without him pushing her to it, even if not necessarily by herself… it wasn't a struggle anymore. It wasn't some chaotic, unnerving conflict. Azula didn't want the throne… she finally had accepted that. Zuko would be free from the chaos she could unleash with her antics until something else inevitably rose to take her place.

He just hoped it wouldn't be Zirin.

"Alright. That's… good to know. But… can I ask you to talk to them, then? To your old allies? At least, to Zirin?" he said. Azula's smile waned… but she shrugged.

"Might as well try. Though I don't think the outcome is going to be any more positive than it would have been if you'd tried this approach with me a year ago," Azula said. Zuko nodded.

"I'll try to brace myself for it. Azula… thank you," he said. The Princess smiled as she rose to her full height.

"For finally giving you a break? I'll find some other way to make you lose your temper, Zuko, don't you worry about that," Azula smirked.

"Heh. I won't lower my guard a lot, then," Zuko said. "Look… maybe I should've said something else first. I just… I wasn't ready to accept I've failed you in more ways than I thought. As far as I could tell, you were a problem indeed, you were someone I had to keep at a distance because you'd only ever hurt me…"

"And I was," Azula acknowledged, with a shrug.

"You weren't," Zuko countered. Azula scoffed. "You were my sister. And I never really thought about what that actually meant until… until I realized you had a whole group of people who had found your value and were helping you shine, and I wasn't one of them. It's not that I feel like I have to be there too… but it feels like I failed you anyway. Like maybe you could have reached this stage if I had tried a little harder… if I had been there for you in ways I wasn't. I kept seeing you as an enemy to defeat, no matter if I already had this crown on my head and… and I was wrong to do that. I can't help but think your life might have been a lot different if I had been less impulsive and stupid over some things. I'm… I'm sorry, Azula. I'm really sorry."

Azula's heart clenched, her throat thickening with tears that seemed to bloom out of nowhere. That wasn't what she had expected from Zuko… wasn't what she would have demanded from him, either. He didn't have to apologize to her… but he had. It was difficult to know what to say to that… though perhaps, it wasn't all that different from how she had responded to Yue, upon hearing her say she loved her.

She hadn't intended to say the words at all, regardless of how she felt. She hadn't thought they'd change anything… but regardless of her reasoning, her instincts pushed her to speak unlikely words to her brother all the same:

"I'm sorry too," Azula whispered, at last. Zuko gazed at her in astounded silence. "I did a lot of things just to make you suffer, I won't sugarcoat that. I wasn't ready to reason with what was going on in my own head, and I took it out on you. Before all this, well, yes, I certainly teased you a lot and I did hunt you down under Father's orders…"

"You don't have to apologize for that," Zuko admitted, with a small grin. Azula raised an eyebrow. "Well, we were kids. It looks a lot simpler now than it did before. I just couldn't seem to make sense of it back then… I was more troubled than I thought, too. Maybe I still am… but I'll try to reason with myself a little more than I always do. Without just… thinking everything's someone else's fault, every time."

"That'd be a good life choice," Azula said, with a slight grin.

Zuko sighed, stepping towards the doorway as Azula glanced down at the mirror: Yue smiled giddily, no doubt thrilled over having witnessed what appeared to be an unexpected reconciliation between Azula and her brother. The Fire Nation Princess smirked a little, shaking her head at her friend's excitement.

"Well, then… ready to go see Zirin?" Zuko asked.

Azula's heart clenched again… but she nodded, steeling herself for a reunion that promised to be a lot more chaotic and unpleasant than this one had turned out to be.

__________________________________

Prison Tower wasn't meant to be a friendly place. Azula's heart clenched as she approached it about an hour later, a foreboding feeling lingering in her heart: her father was there, but she wasn't here to see him today. Maybe one day she would be ready to face him… but the way her mother had explained her own visits to Ozai, it sounded like Azula wasn't remotely prepared to meet her father yet. He had expectations of her that she hadn't fulfilled… and that she never would.

She didn't really know what her future would look like, but she clenched her mirror tightly and let herself bask in the peace, the freedom, of knowing she would no longer serve the purposes that had damn near destroyed her. At the very least, Yue had died but succeeded at saving her people by doing so: Azula's sacrifices had amounted to nothing. Her vindictiveness had achieved nothing, too. She was tired… and ready to move on, now that she finally had a chance to imagine a future, vague and confusing as it might be, by Sokka's side…

Who, of course, stood right beside her at the moment, arms folded over his chest as he frowned at the prison ahead.

"You really had to come?" Zuko asked him, an eyebrow twitching. "You could have stayed with my mom…"

"You could have stayed with her too," Sokka scoffed. Zuko gritted his teeth and glared at him.

"I'm the Fire Lord! Azula can't talk to Zirin if I'm not here to authorize it!" he said. Sokka pouted.

"Then you'll have to put up with me being here too, nothing more to it," he said.

Azula smiled as they marched into the tower: Sokka's devotion to her hardly seemed real most times, and yet she knew it was. She had a baseline as to what his lies looked like, and it certainly wasn't the confident, strong front he was showing Zuko right now.

"You okay? Ready for this?" Sokka asked her, once Zuko took to speaking with the warden, who appeared alarmed to see Azula as a visitor rather than another prisoner.

"I doubt it," Azula admitted. "You didn't have to come, Zuko isn't wrong about that… but I'm glad you did."

"Oh. Uh, heh," Sokka smiled, cheeks flushing slightly as he ran a hand over his hair. "I'm glad you're glad! Though, you know, if you need anything…"

"I'd reach out, but… I don't know if I will be able to do it," Azula said, frowning sternly again. "You'll be right outside?"

"Yeah. And you can handle this Zirin, right?" Sokka asked. Azula shrugged.

"I'd better. She's usually not enough of a bender to be a cause for concern for me, I'd dare say," Azula mused, frowning slightly. Sokka smiled and nodded.

"You're the strongest firebender there is, after all. Nothing she can do should faze you… but in case it does, I'll stay nearby and even cheer you on."

"Well, I've never really fought with a supportive audience like that, but fair enough," Azula said. "Besides… we shouldn't need to fight at all. It's… a conversation."

She said the words while knowing they weren't entirely true: Zirin would make this a battlefield if she had reason to. And if Azula told her what Zuko would expect her to? It might just be a guarantee that they'd wind up in conflict indeed.

The warden led them to the room where Zirin had been brought moments before they arrived. Zuko and Sokka remained tense by the door, and Azula breathed deeply as she readied herself to enter…

"Good luck," Sokka whispered.

"If you need any help, let us know," Zuko said, frowning. "You don't have to face her alone."

"I'm not sure about that last thing… and I'll try not to make it come to the first thing, too," Azula said.

She stepped between them: she gripped Sokka's hand gently as she passed beside him before pushing the door open. Sokka gritted his teeth, gazing after her hopelessly, his anguish increasing once the door closed, leaving Azula alone with her previous second-in-command.

Zirin sat in a slovenly position on a chair, in the center of the room. She appeared to have been bound to it. Azula frowned as she stopped before her… and Zirin scowled as she raised her gaze, gradually astounded upon realizing this wasn't just another visit by Fire Lord Zuko.

"You… you're back," Zirin said, a spark of hope in her gaze… one that went away quickly, replaced by distrust. "How? Who the hell allowed you to visit me officially? Or did you kill your brother and took his appointment instead?"

"I didn't do that," Azula said. Zirin scoffed.

"Of course not. You don't have the spine for it. Had the spine to get rid of your inconvenient friend yet, or was that too much to ask too?" Zirin asked, spitefully. "You were gone long enough. I thought… did it work? Are you yourself again, or…?"

"It didn't," Azula said. Zirin snarled. "She's still with me. Nothing has worked so far… and I don't think anything has to, either."

"Oh, right, so you're just going to keep botching up operations and messing up our objectives by being completely swept up by stupid arguments with the damn girl in your reflection?" Zirin asked. "You're unbelievable."

"I have no intentions of letting that happen because… there will be no more operations or objectives for us," Azula said. Zirin froze. "Which is your fault in no small part. If you hadn't gotten caught, the whole lot of you could have gone on to cause chaos without me. Begs the question of why you were so eager to be the leader when you botched it up so badly as soon as I was out of the way. Isn't that what you were always looking forward to? Isn't it exactly what you wanted?"

"I…!" Zirin snarled, shaking her head. "What's it to you, what I wanted? You…! You kept us chained down, locked to your whims! You saved us and broke us out of that hellhole, and we owed you because of that…!"

"The hellhole you finally burned to the ground, or so I hear," Azula said: Zirin had the gall to smirk. "With all the remaining patients still inside."

"They were as bad as the physicians," Zirin said, shrugging. "Content to live in their chains, emboldening them to do it to others, like us. Don't like it? Not my problem. They got what they deserved."

Azula scowled. Zirin's demeanor didn't change for it.

"I've prided myself in being a terrible person, you know?" Azula said. "In not particularly caring who I hurt and who I didn't… but I guess I overestimated myself. Compared to you, apparently I still have boundaries and sense…"

"You mean you're a coward. Spineless and weak when you should take action… always been in your damn brother's pocket even when you acted like you weren't," Zirin hissed. "Did he offer to pardon you because you weren't part of the destruction, maybe? Might have offered you the chance to execute us by your own hand too. Was that why you were allowed to come here?"

"I'm here… as your final salvation," Azula said. Zirin snorted in disbelief. "If you won't listen to me, if you won't forsake what you're doing, the way I did…"

"Ha! You're done, then? All done destabilizing the Fire Lord's pathetic rule?" Zirin cackled. "You're quitting now? And why's that, exactly?! Who's caught your leash now, Azula? Who's pulling at it?!"

"I don't have one anymore. You, on the other hand…" Azula said. Zirin laughed, shaking her head.

"Don't give me that. I'm no one's beast," Zirin said, her eyes growing colder as all mirth fled from her face as quickly as it arrived. "What was it? The Fire Lord…? Nah, you'd need a stronger incentive than that. Maybe… heh. The pest in your reflection? Is that who?"

"Shut up," Azula hissed impulsively: Zirin laughed again.

"Controlled by that thing, just as you were by your mother. Funny," Zirin said, coldly again. "You're so weak. So spineless…"

"I have more than enough strength and spine to stand here and see you for what you are," Azula snapped. Zirin raised her eyebrows.

"And what's that?" she asked.

Azula breathed deeply, glaring into Zirin's dark eyes… before giving her an answer:

"A lost, helpless, desperate fool looking for purpose and drive and finding none," Azula said. Zirin scoffed. "You've convinced yourself that destroying the asylum was the right choice but it wasn't: all you achieved was proving them right in fearing you… in wanting you out of their way. You've never imagined a way out, a chance to become something different, to start anew elsewhere. You don't even know the value of that kind of opportunity… because no one has ever granted it to you."

"And someone granted it to you?" Zirin asked, derisively. Azula gritted her teeth. "What? Pfft. Your brother?"

"It's not him," Azula said, gripping the mirror in her pocket. "It's someone I never thought would have any manner of compassion for me and yet he did. So…"

"Ah, don't tell me… you found a boyfriend," Zirin said. "No doubt you're thrilled, what you always wanted…"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Azula scoffed.

"You're so sad and anguished by loneliness, aren't you? I guess you're clinging to the first moron who overlooked… well, all the crazy shit and just latched onto how pretty you were?" Zirin asked, with a sarcastic smile. Azula smirked.

"If that would make you feel any better, go on ahead and believe that. But he's… he wasn't part of this because of me. Not at first. We haven't been journeying together just because he's craving me. He's the one who's helping me fix what's wrong with Yue…"

"And you love him, do you?" Zirin smirked. "Well, wait a few months after the novelty wears off and see how he likes you once you become the harpy that screams at him over anything and everything, just as it goes in all fucked-up marriages. You can't exactly expect to do better than that, can you? Either way… this is stupid. Someone who caved in to something as pathetic as falling for some stupid guy, lecturing me on what to do with my life…"

"I've said I'm your last chance at something better than staying locked inside this building for however long you have left to live," Azula said. Zirin rolled her eyes. "Zuko will kill you if no one stops him. Is that what you want?"

"I want the old Azula back. The one who would break us out of here in a heartbeat," Zirin snapped.

"Oh, you mean the one who laughed when she heard you'd gotten yourselves locked up in jail?" Azula smirked. Zirin tensed up. "I did exactly that, you know? I thought it was a beautiful irony: so much badgering me and pestering me about how you were such a better leader, all your plotting, all your talk behind my back… and you were an even bigger failure than I ever was, in the end. Funny how that works, isn't it?"

"Shut up," Zirin snarled. Azula glared at her coldly.

"That's the Azula you were asking for, though. The one who would walk away and let you get crushed under my brother's boot out of vindictiveness alone," she continued. "I'm here to tell you to turn over a new leaf and set aside your intent, or you're only going to continue paying the price for it. And I won't be paying it with you."

"So that's it, then? You're forsaking me and running off with… with that fool in your head, with the idiot who somehow wants to date you or whatever?" Zirin scoffed.

"I wouldn't be forsaking anything… provided you and the others agree to stop, for good," Azula said. "Zuko is an idiot in many ways, and he didn't truly understand the gravity of what happened in that place. What you did to the other patients is unforgivable, Zirin… were the circumstances any different, I would be advocating for your death myself. But I know why you did it… I just cannot accept that you found no way to spare them. Even so, you can rot in this cell forever or you can make something of yourself…"

"Something to aid this wretched nation?" Zirin asked. "I'd pick the pyre."

"Really?" Azula asked. Zirin scoffed.

"The Fire Nation should go down in flames… and I don't care for it to be reborn from its ashes," she hissed. "You, your accursed family… you all just prove there's no saving this nation. And maybe I'm the one who can do it… by laying waste upon it all. That… that's my fate. There was no Phoenix King, in the end… but I could be the Queen."

"The fuck are you…?" Azula frowned, but she froze: she had seen that look on Zirin's face before.

It was a sudden burst of vacancy that preceded a storm.

The reason why she had been sent to the asylum in the first place.

"Zirin. Zirin!" Azula called her, stepping closer to the woman. "Snap back here! Zirin!"

She was tempted to slap her, but she held back out of knowing that violence might just unleash the very worst of reactions from the firebender even faster than Zirin intended: heat began rising within the room, and Zirin continued not to react… but something seemed to be instants away from boiling over inside her. It was as though she had grown comatose… focusing her power so much that every shred of her energy would become firebending.

"Zirin!" Azula snapped. "I will do it! I will chi-block you!"

It was the only way in which she had been stopped once, when she had withdrawn into that state at night, setting their campsite on fire as a consequence. The others had hidden away from Zirin, and only Azula had reduced her. She had spent hours writhing furiously afterwards, sputtering flames out of her throat all the same…

But this time, Zirin was faster.

This time, Azula raised her hand to stop her just as Zirin screamed.

A violent burst of flames caught Azula just as she had been about to prevent it from rushing out: she was flung back, falling hard against the closed door, as the flames pouring over Zirin's body, charring at her skin, burned and melted the chains and restraints, destroying the chair where she had been perched…

She stood up, fire still alight over her body. Azula snarled, rubbing her back as she felt the door shifting behind her.

"Azula?! Azula! What's going on?! Azula?!" Sokka's voice reached her, and Azula snarled as she pushed herself away from the door.

"YOU'LL NEVER BREAK ME! THERE WON'T EVEN BE ASHES LEFT WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU!" Zirin shrieked: her hand rose towards Azula, and she leveled a new firebending blast in her direction.

Azula snarled: the door swung open violently once her weight no longer kept it shut, for Sokka shoved it. He had a perfect view of how his princess caught an onslaught of pouring flames in one hand, brandishing it in her control, stealing it from the woman before her…

How? How was Zirin unleashing that kind of power? The room was as good as an inferno, one that Azula was restraining with every ounce of her strength…

Her left leg was unsteady.

There was something dark trickling down her trousers.

"Azula!" Sokka roared.

"GET BACK!" Azula rebuffed, building her power over the flames and wrestling them out of Zirin's control.

This wasn't new, even if it was far more potent than whenever it had happened during their previous mishaps on the road: Zirin's firebending was a threat to anyone around her, even herself. Long ago, Zirin had learned to channel her body's energy in ways completely unknown to Azula until then, as good as shutting down as she gathered her energy in a single point. Even her heart would stop beating for that small moment… and then everything would bloom again, unleashing from her body as an explosion, a storm of flames for which her body was the conduit.

It was more akin to a phoenix than anything Ozai had been. Zirin died for a blink of a moment only to return shrouded by flames. She had hurt herself with her own fire with these stunts in the past, destroyed her childhood home, she had always been restrained with chi-blocking when she had dared do it in the asylum… and chi-blocking was how Azula would keep her in check whenever Zirin's temper got the better of her while they were part of the same group.

She had surely used that technique to lay waste upon the asylum. She had gathered her power and unleashed all of it in one violent, suspended burst that would last for as long as she could sustain it.

And now, Azula struggled against the onslaught of fire that Zirin unleashed through her throat, her body seemingly burning alive as she unleashed her flames into the small room.

She couldn't scream forever, Sokka counted on that: he stood beside Azula, behind her, worried about the wound she had most likely sustained in her left leg… then, Zirin finally slowed her outburst, even as sparks poured from her closed mouth.

"Had enough yet?!" Azula roared: the room turned blue, as Azula brandished Zirin's remaining flames…

She could very well return them at her former ally.

But she didn't do it.

The fire diminished in size and strength, stifled gradually by Azula's expert bending: Zirin laughed, though, raising a hand menacingly.

"You will pay for all your broken promises!" Zirin shouted. "Your cursed family… I will destroy it at all costs! You… the Fire Lord!"

Azula had never understood Zirin's particular hatred towards Zuko: her brother hadn't even entered the room, but Zirin knew he was out there, somewhere. That, alone, would suffice to motivate her into destroying him at once.

She geared up to roar again, and Azula tensed up…

Her left leg buckled.

She gasped: why had she lost her grip? Why had she…?

She reached down to touch it, and only then did she realize her thigh hurt: blood. Her hand was stained with blood.

She shuddered at the sight of it, failing to understand the implications, only realizing now that there was something painfully imbedded in her skin. She couldn't rise back up. She couldn't stand. She couldn't…

Zirin unleashed a new burst of flames.

Azula wouldn't be fast enough to stop them.

A projectile flew violently through the flames, spinning fast in the direction where Zirin stood... but Azula didn't see it strike her.

She couldn't, for she was wrapped in protective arms as the remaining flames of that inferno fell upon the back of the person holding her.

Sokka cried out in pain as the flames charred his body: Azula yelped…

And just as suddenly as it had arisen, the fire extinguished.

"Sokka! Sokka, why would you…?!" Azula gasped, struggling to push herself back upright: Sokka weighed heavily on her, and he snarled with pain under the damage he had sustained. "Sokka!"

"Azula!" Zuko's voice reached them: the Princess turned towards him in anguish, seeing he had retrieved help, but not fast enough to stop Zirin from hurting Sokka.

Zuko's eyes widened at the sight of Sokka's burnt back: his shirt's back had been charred, leaving solely blackened fabric at the edges of the hole across the extension of his spine. Redness underneath betrayed that he had sustained a strong burn… even if the person bending the flames that had hurt him now lay unconscious, bleeding from the forehead.

Sokka's boomerang had spun awkwardly back to him, landing a few steps away, after he struck Zirin down before she could destroy the room, the Prison Tower, everything around them.

"Help…" Azula gasped, gripping Sokka firmly. She looked to Zuko with vulnerability most unlike her… uttering a word she most likely had never spoken to him. "Zuko…!"

The Fire Lord frowned with determination: he gave orders to his soldiers, and he stepped up to take charge of the situation. The guilt inside his chest would be resolved later: for now, Zirin would be contained anew, and Sokka and Azula would be taken to safety.

____________________________________

Sokka sighed, smiling sadly at Azula as she sat by his bedside, her brow furrowed:

The shards of the mirror nestled in a pouch, in her hand.

The mirror had broken against the door in the impact when she had been flung back with Zirin's initial outburst. She hadn't realized it, at first. She hadn't wanted to believe it was true, either, when she understood that her first gift by Sokka had been destroyed by Zirin's attack.

"I know she can show up elsewhere, I do, but… this sucks," Azula huffed, shaking her head and setting the mirror aside, trying to ignore her bandaged thigh. The damage hadn't been that deep, certainly not enough to endanger her, but she wasn't supposed to move around much for the next few days while her body amended the damage.

"We'll get you a new mirror. A prettier one," Sokka said. "One more suitable for you."

"That one was fine," Azula said, sighing as she set the pouch down on Sokka's nightstand. "But I shouldn't complain. You… you matter more than a broken mirror."

"Do I?" Sokka smirked. Azula scoffed. "What?"

"Are you really going to twist my concern for you into some weird flirting or something…?" Azula asked. Sokka laughed, nodding awkwardly as he lay on his back, head turned towards her. Azula scoffed, amused nonetheless. "You're so ridiculous."

"You like that I am, though," he said. Azula lowered her gaze.

"You know… Zuko once did what you just did, too. For your sister," Azula said. Sokka's smile waned slightly. "I was the one on the offensive that time. It's rare enough that I was the one trying to defend others this time… that I was the target of someone out of control, rather than being the one who was out of control or out of line. But it's weirder still that someone would jump into the fire for me."

She raised her gaze towards him, and Sokka smiled a little. Azula shook her head.

"No laughing matter. No smiling matter, either. You could have been burned far worse than you were. It's fortunate that they think you'll recover safely," Azula said. Sokka scoffed.

"Your fire's definitely stronger than hers," he said. Azula rolled her eyes, though she smiled a little. "You overestimated her strength."

"I'm quite sure I did no such thing," Azula said, shaking her head and reaching out a hand to stroke his hair gently. Sokka grinned giddily. "You didn't have to do that, is my point."

"Azula… I love you," Sokka said, earnestly. Her heart jolted to hear the words from his lips again. "I'm sorry to say that's what love means to me. Maybe you don't like it… but I'm going to jump into the fire for you. I'm going to stand between you and any knife that comes your way. If I get hurt… well, it's fine if you won't be."

"That's… you're an idiot," Azula said, frowning. Sokka shrugged.

"Most people think so too…"

"Well, most of them are wrong because they're saying it for the wrong reasons," Azula said. Sokka snorted. "You… you can't go around pretending your life and your safety matter less than that of everyone you care about."

"So… am I supposed to protect myself instead?" Sokka asked, puzzled. Azula gritted her teeth…

A most confusing, surprising epiphany hit her as consequence of his question. Sokka appeared to await an answer… and she was surprised to find she actually had one:

"You're supposed to fight by my side," Azula decided. Sokka's eyes widened. "We're… we're a team. Successful strategies don't require the sacrifice of your own allies. If you need to discard them as you progress towards your goal, you're probably not that good a strategist. More capable and able-bodied allies mean you have more resources at your disposal. It's simple and obvious."

"Heh. So… a practical, reasonable point of view encourages you to believe that I shouldn't jump into danger," Sokka smirked. "You know what? That's exactly why I like you. Love to hear it."

Azula smirked back at him, shaking her head: she couldn't help but grow fonder of him for that reaction. She suspected anyone lesser would have been cross with her for responding with practicality rather than sentimentality after a sacrifice that great… but not Sokka. They certainly saw eye to eye when it came to strategic matters, if nothing else.

"The next time we're in danger, if we are… and we most likely will be, considering who I am, and what your luck in life has been like," Azula pointed out, to Sokka's amusement. "Please… work with me. Don't jump into danger that way. It… it means a lot, that you would. But I'm not exactly eager to lose you. It was good thinking to knock Zirin out with your boomerang, you sure threw it hard for it to cut across her fire that way…"

"Well, these muscles aren't just for show," Sokka said, tightening his biceps to her amusement. Azula laughed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head. "See? See?"

"Dork," Azula smiled. He snickered proudly. "I'm grateful anyway. Just… don't do that again, will you?"

"I'll try not to," Sokka smiled warmly, reaching up to clasp her hand, pressing a soft kiss to her palm.

The tingling feeling of being treasured by someone to the point where he might sacrifice himself for her sake hadn't receded. It almost brought her to tears. Her throat tightened as she pondered it, as she realized that perhaps love did look a little bit like what Sokka had described for her before, even if it shouldn't be as self-sacrificial as that…

She leaned closer to him on his bed, pressing her lips to his cheek. Sokka grinned mischievously at the feeling.

"That's nice…" he said.

"You do realize… that we're not going to sleep together until your back recovers?"

"What?!"

Sokka yelped, and Azula laughed at his extreme reaction: he even seemed to rise from the bed, and she had to reel him in so he'd stop being so careless.

"Come on, you won't be able to lie on your back…"

"Well, I won't lie on it. I don't need to. You'll have to put up with being under me more often!" Sokka pouted.

"You really are that eager to get back to it, are you?" Azula smiled, stroking his hair and kissing his cheek again. Sokka groaned needily.

"When you're being this nice, it's hard to help it," he said. "C'mon, I could just lie on top and even as we sleep, I'll just rest on, uh, the best pillow in the world…"

"You like my breasts far too much for your own good," Azula said: Sokka smiled wildly, glancing at her chest even if her clothes covered her bosom fully.

"What's not to like?" he said. "You're delightful. And delicious, too."

"I'm… ugh, you don't have to be so crude, Sokka," Azula blushed, shaking her head as she pushed him slightly on his mattress. Sokka snorted at her remark.

"If it disgusts you so much, why are you climbing up here right after I said something stupid?" he asked: Azula was halfway on the mattress by then, and she shot him a fierce glare.

"Because I… had already meant to do this before you started being embarrassing," she huffed, lying down fully beside him. Sokka giggled, and Azula rolled her eyes before reaching towards him. "Come here, you annoying jerk, you…"

"Woah, wait…!"

His request was not heeded: thus, before he knew it, Sokka was left to lie his head down happily, comfortably, atop Azula's chest.

"I hope this will help you recover. At least, might brighten your spirits," Azula said, unsure of why she felt bashful after what she'd done. Sokka, of course, beamed with delight.

"Sure brightens them," he said. "Though I hope it won't help much because that means I'd recover too quickly. If I don't, then I'll get to do this even more often, and…"

"If you recover faster I'll sit on your face sooner than you know," Azula declared, boldly: Sokka smiled wildly, raising his head from her chest eagerly.

"You will?!" he exclaimed. Azula snorted and laughed.

"Guess you're happy when I'm the one who's crude. You know, you're delightful too. And ridiculous," she said, cupping his face with her hands before kissing his eager lips softly.

It was a tender, meaningful kiss for the two of them, and they extended it for as long as they dared with sweet, gentle pecks, as well as deeper, thorough explorations of each other, interspersed between the chaste kisses. His hands dared touch her with desire, even if he wasn't about to act on it… and Azula let him. She felt his fingers trailing her weak spots and she thrived in it, quietly, letting her lover trigger her pleasure at his leisure.

"You didn't need to do this either, you know?" Sokka smiled a little, raising his head to gaze at her. "Could've just left me to rest quietly while withholding yourself from me…"

"Why would I want to do that?" Azula asked, stroking his hair gently. Sokka chuckled.

"Don't know. Because I'm the annoying guy who put himself in danger for your sake when he should have been fighting alongside you?" he said.

"Well, lesson learned now, I hope. You're… a little forgiven," Azula said, with a smirk. Sokka laughed, his brow pressed against hers.

"Good to know," he said. Azula bit her lip.

"Maybe we're not so different, you and I. You jumped in front of an inferno to protect me because you love me… and I let you rest on my chest because I…"

"Azula?" Sokka raised an eyebrow, looking at her with surprise.

Azula breathed deeply before meeting his eyes: it felt like the biggest risk she had ever taken. She didn't know what was so frightening about uttering those words, she had already spoken them to someone else…

But doing it with Sokka felt like a greater commitment. Like deciding she was throwing her lot with him for the rest of their lives, if he could stand her for that long.

The way he gazed at her suggested he was capable of that, and so much more.

So she had to do it. She just had to jump… and wait for gravity to claim her, or for her wings to burst from her back and help her take to the skies.

"I love you."

Sokka's eyes gleamed with emotion, reflected by the tears that were born in the corners of his eyes. He laughed softly, and Azula smiled warmly too, if tearfully: he kissed her sweetly, and her arms locked around his neck as she kept him close.

"Azula…" he managed to say, with a broken voice. Azula shook her head.

"It's okay. We'll… talk things over later," she said, caressing his cheek. "We'll decide whatever we need to decide, alright? For now, just… just live in the here and now. Just… just let me love you even if I barely know how, okay?"

"You know more than you realize you do," Sokka smiled warmly: the affection in his eyes caught her so off guard she nearly melted into his next kiss, into his warm, loving embrace…

Yes, there were many things for them to work through still. Yes, perhaps she'd regret having said those words once it sunk in that she had done it, whenever she lost her mind to anguish over not being good enough for him… but right now, everything felt just right. His kisses were as warm as sunlight, setting her inner flame afire with potent emotions she never knew she could experience.

Fire could be so deadly, so devastating. It could lay waste upon everything, just as Zirin had tried to… but it could be warm and gentle, too. It could embody passion… it could embody life. The dark shadows fire cast around itself were intricately connected with its light. The hand of the bender wielding it would determine the true purpose of flames: destruction or creation, hatred or love, life or death…

And right now, the fire in her heart burned with unequivocal devotion for the man whose brow pressed to hers, as they basked in their newfound peace. A part of Azula wickedly wished to ask if this was exactly what he had been missing with Suki… but she didn't dare mar a perfect moment of shared tenderness with any matters besides the two of them. All teasing could wait for later.

Though they would be forced to interrupt that crystallized moment of happiness rather quickly, too, once they heard footsteps approaching Sokka's room, as well as the quelled voices of Zuko and his physicians, who no doubt were informing him of Sokka's state.

"Uuuh…" Sokka grimaced: Azula flushed as she squirmed clumsily, awkwardly, out of Sokka's embrace.

"Lie down quietly there. Nothing happened here," she said, bashful, carefully moving so her leg wouldn't hurt.

"Right. Right. I'll… pretend I was asleep, yep. That's it," Sokka smiled, closing his eyes and relaxing.

Azula's heart raced as she took her seat: Zuko barged in moments later, without knocking.

"Still can't bother announcing yourself before entering any rooms?" Azula asked. Zuko grimaced, slowing down at first before stepping closer to Azula, sitting beside her.

"I guess I ought to work on that," he said. "How is he?"

"He's… asleep. As you can see," Azula said, trying not to show her bashfulness too overtly – while there was much they would need to work on and decide, one of such things was settling on whether to keep matters quiet a little longer or blatantly sharing the truth of what their relationship was with everyone around them… such as Zuko.

"Well… yeah. I can," Zuko sighed. "The physicians say he might… might have light marks left. Fortunately, the fire receded fast enough so it isn't as severe as, well… my face."

"It wasn't a third-degree burn," Azula concluded. Zuko nodded.

"Still… I don't feel like this is the right choice," Zuko said. Azula raised an eyebrow. "I mean… my physicians are the best the Fire Nation can offer. But is Fire Nation medicine going to be enough?"

"I have no idea. I hope so?" Azula said. Zuko sighed.

"I think we should get him to someone who could alleviate his pain much faster. Maybe even heal him enough so his skin isn't damaged forever," Zuko said. "Not even with light marks."

"Is that even possible?" Azula asked.

"Waterbending healing is impressive. You'll see," Zuko said, reassuringly.

"You're bringing a waterbender here?" Azula asked. "Or… do you want us to go to the Northern Water Tribe again?"

"I, uh… didn't mean for us to travel that far. A little less far, frankly," Zuko said, twiddling his thumbs awkwardly. Azula frowned.

"What?"

"There's… a really great waterbending healer who would gladly look after Sokka and make sure he's okay. And I think we should trust her to take good care of him. I know I do… though I'm not sure you do. Sokka would, though, I mean, she's… uh, well… his sister."

Azula had started to suspect what Zuko was getting at right before he arrived at his destination: her jaw dropped, and she inched away from him before blurting out the one answer she could give her brother's suggestion:

"Absolutely not."

"Azula, he's her brother. She'll kill us if we don't tell her he was in danger, if we don't take him to her…!"

"She'll kill you for harboring me at all, and then kill me for being, well, me! So as far as I can tell, the casualties will be minimal provided we just… avoid her. Forever."

Zuko snorted, slightly amused by the panic Katara elicited in Azula's heart. The Princess glared at her brother in displeasure, and he shook his head.

"I'll go too and make sure she understands that none of this is your fault. If anything… it's mine," Zuko said. Azula winced…

"As touching as it is to hear you admit that? I still don't want to go. Nope. Not a chance," Azula said, eyes wide.

"You might just like Air Temple Island…"

"What does that even matter?! I'm not going to jump right into their hands when they thought I'd kidnapped Sokka to begin with!"

"Well, I'll clear that up too! It'll be fine! Maybe we can call Toph too, I bet she'd help clear your name! Maybe she even told Aang and Katara that you're not a hazard to Sokka already…!"

"Right, and you think they believed her, if she did? You're as gullible as…"

"If you guys argued any louder, maybe you'd finally make sure that no one gets any rest around these parts, you know?"

Both Azula and Zuko froze up at Sokka's accusatory tone and deadpan glare – evidently, his attempt to pretend that he was sleeping had ended very quickly. Their apologetic grimaces brought a smirk to his face, and he shook his head at them.

"We can go to Air Temple Island. I'll handle Katara… and I'll make sure to have a loud argument with her just as you two are trying to fall asleep, too."

"Haha. You're hilarious," Zuko scoffed. Azula chuckled, shaking her head at Sokka's promise. "But then… once you're okay to travel? We'll… we'll get going. We'll get you some more healing, Sokka. You'll make a full recovery."

"As noisy as you may be… that's nice of you, buddy. Thanks," Sokka grinned.

Zuko didn't stay for much longer, busy as he was: Azula's nervousness over the next leg of their journey didn't diminish at all… but once Zuko was gone, she reached out to take Sokka's hand in hers: he smiled as he fell asleep holding it, and just by the sight of that gentle smile upon his face, Azula allowed herself to believe wistfully that everything would work out for the best…

They were gone. No light. No reflections. Nowhere for her to peer through and understand what had happened. The mirror was shattered, stained with her host's blood.

"You see? You hurt her! And you keep hurting her! Your meddling ruined her bonds with her allies, and you couldn't save her from another betrayal!"

Yue gritted her teeth, closing her eyes as she tried not to listen to the cackling cruelty of her captor. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't need to…

"Yue… Yue… Yue…"

A second voice. The one she heard at times, a familiar voice… it was kind, it was reaching out for her…

The dark restraints around her body tightened. She closed her eyes and hoped they'd hold. She needed them to hold. Otherwise…

"It won't be long now. It won't be long," her captor giggled with cruelty: she refused to look at him. She wouldn't meet his gaze. She had always refused… and he would never stop pushing her. "It won't be long before you're mine forever… once no one needs you anymore. Once you're well and truly gone from that world. Once every memory of your existence vanishes…

"Once they forget you. The Princess, the warrior… they will give their hearts to each other, and you will be forgotten for good."

A tear escaped Yue's cheeks: she might never be free again… but so long as they were, she would endure this nightmare and face the dark fate that swirled closer and closer around her, threatening to fulfill the dark promise of Oblivion.

[true-blue-sonic]

7-12-16-23 for Silver, Espio and Blaze? (that’s twelve questions I am so sorry)

No worries, I am currently ill at home and have gathered enough energy to tackle it ^-^

Silver:

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Oh dear.😅 Oof, let's see here... I think that for a side character in a large extended cast, Silver is actually quite popular, and people are warming up to him more and more. At least, in polls that feature him and such he always seems to do quite well? And he's also got a lot of fanart and attention dedicated to him! So that is something that I like: the fact that he's generally well-liked. It's definitely a step up from 2006!

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

My very epic headcanon was that he is left-handed, but I seem to have disproven that myself, haha. Another one I have is that with every new season that rolls around, he claims it is his favourite: winter for the snow and cozy times, spring for the new life and pretty flowers, summer for the warm temperatures and long sunny days, and autumns for its colours and epic storms. He just can't make up his mind which one he likes best: he loves it all similarly.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

I don't think I have one; there are many that I am not interested in, but those don't show up so much anyway and I don't have anything about them that I hate, so I just ignore them.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

I can't just pick one, come on!!

I'll take this one because I love the pastel-like colouring, but rest assured I like many more!

Espio:

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I think people overall have a relatively good grasp on his "place" within the Chaotix: the "straight man" of the team who similarly still is equally silly as the others. I always like seeing that: it's funny because Espio treats it so seriously, haha.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

He can be a bit of a mother hen, being the person most concerned with their finances, ensuring they have enough food, and raising Charmy into a responsible adult. Vector is the face of the Chaotix and the one Espio and Charmy follow, but behind the scenes Espio is the one who helps make sure everything runs smoothly and they're all cared for as best they can.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Same for Silver: none. It probably helps that I just concern myself most with Espilver and I don't do too much outside that, haha.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Also here picking one is difficult😅

I'll go with this one because I think it very nicely shows the Chaotix household, and I also like seeing Espio write with a brush.

Blaze:

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Hmm, I'm trying to think of something, but I don't engage so much with fan content about Blaze, to be quite honest. Though, people who like the Rush series and those who know of and appreciate how hilariously broken Blaze is in those games compared to Sonic when it comes to her jumping ability are always nice to see!

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

The reason she's so bad at cooking is because of her impatience: she can control the fire she uses to cook well, it's just that she deliberately makes them go too hard/quickly in order to be finished more quickly. But that usually just means things get burned instead. If she's got someone to help her out and distract her in the kitchen, it'll come out much better.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Also none ^-^

23. Favorite picture of this character?

This might perhaps be odd, but I adore some of her sprites from Rush!

I think they masterfully managed to capture Blaze's growth from closed-off and grumpy person who isolated herself her whole life into someone who knows that she can rely on others, and who appreciates her new friends. She's just so cute when she smiles! I love how Cream in Rush even deliberately draws attention to it. And the memories I have of the story around them makes seeing the sprites all the sweeter!

[fipindustries]

those numbers are not her ages, its a bit more complicated than that. everything is always “a bit more complicated than that” when it comes to Almost Nowhere.

(to simplify quite a lot, those are alternate timelines, they could also be considered some form of reincarnations, and they could also be considered clones, the point is that 11 is technically the oldest of the group, depending on which of the multiple temporal schema in this story you go by)

bottom line is, i love the concept of the annes, i love how each one grew into its own, unique, distinct character, with their own mythos around them, considering they are all technically the same person.

what is so special about this specific piece of fan art is that im mutuals with the author of the story and i got to ask them for details on the design of each character. i did this because usually i tend to take the text descriptions of a character as mere suggestions and tend to go a lot more with vibes for how they are supposed to look. even with rob’s input i still took some liberties since i cant let go enough of my own ego not to add my own flourishes to something

now ill go on to explain my thought process behind each design

i figured 11 would have a bit of a feral child thing going on, considering she’s been living for years (?) with no company other than talking animals (oooooh the one who was into musicals including disney songs, now i get it) and that she started adoptiing their stilted reduced way of speaking, i dont see why she wouldnt adopt other things such as liying in big cuddle piles and disregarding clothes.

drawing the talking helmets they were was a lot of fun, specially trying to adpat it to each different animal.

oh annabel Lee, the best fucking character in this story.one of the few characters who truly knew what the hell was going on, the creator of blackhat squadron training module, also known as “the stupid shit”. she is descrived as wearing “escherian necklaces and eldritch dresses” it was certainly a challenge to design something that comes across as an escherian dress but i think i did a good job of it, also pay attention to her helding the auxiliary knife and how the perspective on the knife is all wrong. her grin reminds me a bit of the ending of that one SSC story, the study of anglophysics. a lot of things about her remind me of that story.

Moon, the most anime character in this story. ill admit, i had a bit of an egg to my face, i already attempted to make fanart of her in the past and yet again, because i never actually pay attention to descriptions of characters, i ended up drawing her as some generic anime girl. im glad i got to correct that mistake.im also grad that this story exists, allowing me to create some incredibly interesting, evocative and fun designs. i think the hat and neckerchief are my additions

and finally anne, the reason why we are all here. i think rob explicitly said for this one that she is supposed to have older sister energy, i hope i captured that, i couldnt let go of my original design for her which to be fair wasnt that far off. most of these characters i try to catured them as we last saw them, with anne i decided to do something slightly different. she is supposed to be using both the blackhat and wold squadron uniforms but also it is established that she pretty much wears whatever she wants. i did include the hat because i thought it was funny to ada an askew little hat as if someone tried to put it on her and she never bothered to take it off.

[edith-is-a-cat]

OMG!! i love crystals so muchhhhh that's got such a good vibe you captured me perfectly :D

i also love minecraft foxes especially the Rotund Ones in that one mod. i'm so excited to see more arctic foxes in game because those are my favorite :) i would keep your netherite sword safe!!!

also dw i'm not worried :3 i don't mind anxiety, i have it myself. i'm not the most social person in the world but online i tend to be more outgoing. i'm kinda getting back into the tumblr scene after a year or two of neglecting it so i'm a little anxious here and there too lolol. patting your head! don't drink too much energy stuff~

in return, i am telling you to look up blue tiger's eye crystals, since you seem to like blue and you are also a cat. :) they have really cool banding and it's so reflective and pretty. one of my favorite crystals.

THE NOISE I MADE I LOVE READING LONG ASK THEY ARE SO SWEET 💕 (My older sibling made a noise back at me from downstairs 😭)

RAH SINCE I WAS REMINDED I MUST SHARE THW RANDOM CRYSTALS I KEEP IN MY ROOM AND BATHROOM (with many sea shells too)

yes all the photos have flash on because im a "one of those creatures who've evolved to spend their entire existence in a pitch black cave that's closed off from the world" (direct quote from my friend) an i never have any lights on i just run into things

WUGH WHAT MOD EXACTLY??? IM GOING TO WRITE IT DOWN AND HOPEFULLY USE IT ONE DAY!! (I haven't gotten minecraft on my pc yet, ive wanted to mod minecraft for a while but couldn't bc forever on an ipad, but i have modded stardew valley and it wasn't as scary as I thought it was! Now i can live happily with my 6 wives!! Plus ive been wanting to mod Deltarune for the Ribbit mod! but its more scary and complicated since there isn't as big of a modding community around it, ill figure it out though!!!)

also if u were like a little fox in minecraft i would give you a special nametag using my magic §!! (you can get that symbol by holding down &!! idk if your keyboard is the same but that how i get it!! It changes the text color depending on what letter you put by it!!!) Also i would construct you the best enclosure ever (or just plant a forest!!)

WUGH SO REAL if real life was like being online everything would be so cool (and maybe suck a bit more?? people get more voiced online for better and for worse ;~;)

+ I got back into tumblr like!!! October 2022, well i was never really into it but I did have my first blog that i never really did anything with (its now my reblog account)

also on the energy drink note my chem teacher said i had a problem 😭 (I dont!!! I exist like a month without any!! (I love her i showed her my can locker where i had filled my school locker with energy drink cans and shes just like "cool bud" SHE ALSO WAS ONE OF THE TWO TEACHERS TO ASK FOR OUT PREFERRED NAMES I LOVE HER))

On the blue tiger's eye note!!!! Yes. please. give. I need them i have so many things to decorate!!!! I need to put up shelves around my bed so i can look at my random stuff i adore!!!!! (the only thing i have up on my wall is something i drew for my art class and my Undertale heart locket aka one of my most prized possessions... sadly the the music box in it doesn't work anymore i played it so often, cries, it broke when i was trying to wind it for the little kids at my old school)

OKAY DID NOT KNOW I COULD TALK SO MUCH!!! DJFJDB