#im JOKING i dont murder birds ok

[iishmael]

im upset theres no proper database for birdsong of migrating birds in central europe during september. PLEASE theres this annoying motherfucker outside my boyfriends window and my boyfriend says i am not allowed to hunt it down like a feral dog so i at least wanna know what kind of birb it is! hm

[safetyobstacles]

Starting Desconjuração

i fear if i dont start it now ill just never get over the ending of osnf and ill be stuck in this loop kind of like a circle kind of like a spiral kind of like a certain element

this will be my post where i update as i watch the episodes because where else would i put my thoughts and feelings

spoilers under here

EP 1 cellbit should be in a shampoo commercial

that bird model is awesome suspicious fridge suspicious tristan

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRR :((((((( IVETE :(((((((((((((((((

he sure is introducing alot of animals surely none of them get microwaved Liz would go missing wouldnt she

photo of Cris :((((((( no way kaiser named his program after cris i will cry

enigma do papel they're never gonna find the right number

arthur and ivete so CUTE

why is Liz's apartment full of ominous music she should get that checked out

" a thiago style kick" STOP

erin and kaiser about to 2v1 a chihuahua kaiser MASSACRED the chihuahua but theres another it had a brother YELLOW COAT GUY IS ATHLETIC AF nvm he fuckin tripped O PORTEIRO DE NOVO who the hell is making super blood zombies in their $100 monthly apartment DAMN LUCIANO kaiser and erin dont give a fuck they wanna fight more puppies

sorry but the mental image of 3 people trying to fist fight this one dude meanwhile the fucking bird is just flapping above to them

after the last house we were in i would rather not ever open a heavily barricaded door again i ALSO would never follow a cellbit npc anywhere tristan is about to get rolled and everyone near him

EP 2 i go to start a new episode and then i get so sad about Thiago its okay im okay i still have the rest of equipe e and also i kinda like Erin so thats nice

starting this episode off by saying i hate all these blood cultist motherfuckers they got issues dude sorry to everyone that like blood element but theyre all crazy af

FAZ UM TESTE DE SANIDADE PRA MIM POR FAVOR suck my pp leave them alone

yes Erin you should absolutely chuck a grenade into the blood room where all your teammates are in the doorway maybe the zombie will block the debris TRISTAN THAT NOT HOW YOU WEAR A JACKET cellbits about to murder Tristan and hes so happy about it its cooking and eating himmmmmmmmmm :(((( DAMN joui TRISTAN DOESNT GET EATEN LETS GOOOOOOOOOO

personally i would take a peek inside the blood room before leaving but maybe i would get sucked into hell or something fernando's nice shirt getting all fricked up and dirty >:(

ok but kaiser maybe dont step all over the blood symbols on the floor of the zombie torture room

theyre just stuffing body parts everywhere in the trash in the oven on the counter in the washing machine need a hand theres about 50 in this kitchen to choose from

kaiser youre so cool wtf

this is so awkward for Erin its like three exes all got together and their just arguing in front of her like ooooooo Erin maybe just leave them alone for a bit

Luciano is your WHAT its his WHAT caralho que susto Erin should be allowed to blow something up as a treat

omg i was gonna say arthur and joui were gonna hug it out and then they actually hugged TAKING AWAY JOUI'S MOMENT TO GAIN SANITY CRIME CRIME CRIME

maybe its just a rock concert kaiser about to 1v1 an suv i was joking but he actually rolled a 1 kaiser LOST the 1v1 to an suv nvm Joui playing metal gear Luba feels so cool right now Kaiser cant find shit Joui...... ???????????????????? jouixarthur I HATE THE BLOOD OCCULTISTS I HATE THEM Erin..... Luciano now is not the time to ask about Tristan DAMN JOUI OW

kaiser is so COOOOOOOOOOOOOOL joui theres no fucking way nooo arthur liz is probably fine :((( fucking hell Erin obliterated that guy this Sydney dude should seek therapy

genuinely though imagine being one of these poor motherfuckers that the blood occultists capture to turn into blood zombies

"Erin your trauma is i want you to try as hard as you can do kill yourself just to see if the others can stop you in time" ERIN DONT BRING LUCIANO WITH YOU LMAOOOOO SHES RUNNING INNNNNNNNN SHE MURDERED THAT GUYYY ARTHUR ROLLED A FUCKING 2 ERINS ABOUT TO DIIIIIIIIIE bea's first mission sure is going well

EP 3 im going to write less otherwise this post is gonna be long af also surely Luis lives this episode

every time Joui says calls her Senhorita Liz i want to cry

someone give Jeremias a nice warm blanket and hot chocolate

Kaiser's days of infinite cigarettes are over.... "shes gonna be fine" Erin's groaning in pain she got peeled like an onion meanwhile Kaiser is smoking next to her body also Erin still thinks shes invincible :)))

STOP Jeremias is making me so sad stop it cellbit i will not care about another npc you make stop it stop it TETRIS??? DO A TETRIS TEST?????? a cesar advantage listen Bea dont judge Kaiser just because hes a real gamer

JEREMIAS not every having the same reaction to Bea fucking up his bandage lmao just give the poor guy a cookie let him sit in a corner somewhere quiet STOPPPPP TRYING TO HELP HIMMMMMM wheres liz when you need her

?????? kaiser no calango thats fucked up to do that to me joui just went "i dont like agatha i dont want to talk to her >:(" joui's stutter when agatha calls him arthurzinho is so good hes so mad why tf is the grocery store haunted

the life of an ordem agent is to be poor you have no job the last place you worked at your boss turned out to be sacrificing part time workers to some blood guy and you had to quit nvm they can all just borrow from the bank of kaiser

joui i love you and your ' idk what that means but did you win? :D'

:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( liz is fine liz is fine liz is fine liz is fine

[the-official-account]

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THERE'S A NEW EPISODE HERE'S 26 LIVEBLOG BABEEEEYYYY

my podcatcher is cool and great and open source and ad free and all that shit but I haven't set up my notifications good and because this is my first episode as they come out (my inner fanatic is all grown up) im not used to the schedule but HHHASD;LPIG AHIP'LSF AG THE WAY I SCREEEEEAMED AND ACTUALLY DANCED FOR JOY HERE WE GO!!!!!

oh opening music my beloved. Oh shit I got so obsessed with Blorbos I briefly forgot exactly where we are in the story. Coping mechanism (slash joking slash lighthearted) im 👀👀👀👀 very hyped bery concerned

"you need to be making eye contact to be frozen" means it's vry easy to free spar!!! ahhh so they somehow duplicated the pendants....or found more??

BACKUP THINGS 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 IM ON DESKTOP AND I CAN ONLY HAVE ONE EMOJI COPIED TO MY CLIPBOARD AT AT TIME ASJKDLHFASDFH

also the title of this episode is making me excited

Ila's stress about spar's condition is such a mood

THIS TELEKENISIS NECKLACE THING IS SO BANGER.

ooh. oof. this drive. CRIT?????? NICE FUCK. WHEW.

SUUCESSED THE FUCK OUTA THAT.

Voracity fucking sucks sorry about your lineage bestie i do hope you die though

SPAR BALANCED HALWAYD ON A CATWALK, FROZEN, SNUGGLED UP TO AN AWFUL AWFUL VAMPIRIC ASSHOLE UHHHH

......that joker.

OH I FORGOT VELLUM CAN TELEPORT FOR A SEC with the power of looking INCREDIBLY sexy. I like this plan I'm feeling good about this plan

Jordan's clearly plotting some shit and i am HERE for it

"normally you are not conscious during it" NORMALLY???

Spar depersonalization crash course. OH WAIT NO SPAR STEVEN UNIVERSE MOMENTS. IM OBSESSED????

viscious spar.....hmmm......im making a face it's not a great face LASDFALHFAHS

I love that spar's first thing is to just get the gist of what he's got going on <3 LJSADFLKJAHSDJFKHASD HE GOES TO VELLUM A;LKSDFLJSHDFLJSADGFLJSHADFKAHSDFKLASDF SCOOBY DOO ASS LOVE BIRDS

Oh shit is Vellum gonna think spar is fucking dead???? VORACITY GOES TOPPLING WHICH IS HILARIOUS BUT SPAR TOO??????? HOLY SHIT????? LMAO????

we are thirteen minutes in.

IF YOU DIE IN YOUR BODY YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE ALKSDJF;LAKSDJFASKLD;FJALSDFJ

Essay protesting Voracity's stats is such a mood. What if...what if ya jus didn???

As spooky as this whole situation is, the mental image of spar having royallllly biffed it is sending me

Okay when I was very young, I used to play chess with a younger sibling of mine. And I did this thing where I would just take one rook and systematically go around capturing all their pawns because they didn't know how to protect them, while just kinda giggling. And that's the energy ipswitch is bringing right now, tkaing out all their backup.

EIGHT FUCKING CARDS

AD;ISFLG;ALKDSGASLDFK RING TOSS SITIONATION wasn't jakub with ipswitch? or going to him? and yeahhhh lunevella is an important ally.

Diamond? friend? mmmmmmmmmmmmnahhhh

YEAH LUNAVELLA!!!! MASSIVE WITCH LADY COME IN CLUTCH!

nooo fuck PLEASE dont make it diamond please please please LUNEVELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA lesbiamb...YEAS

I forget what beloved does but mechanical nonsense is my favorite

NO SUCESSES ONE JOKER there are not emojis on this computer that describe...you know that one image of the hot cook guy from Queer eye looking traumatized? that.

"I'm having fun being a useless ghost boy" VALID i am also having fun. sometimes in a ttrpg you just wanna be/add to the problem for a bit!!! And that's ok

Voracity being pissed about being launched off the catwalk is SO Funny.

"so I could accomplish my goal without violence" BITCH YOU THREATENED TO MURDER SEVREAL-----FJHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NO NO NO VORACITY ISNT ALLOWED TO CRIT LEAVE VELLUM ALOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!

oh shit but vellum's turn now.......kick them back off!!!!!! asjdhfakjsdhfasdkflakdhf

TAEKWONDO!! switching instantly for a drive does seem like a good balance I like that mechanic

god I love my gay rule-abiding detectives who for some reason keep trying to fight the ONE being that EVERY rule is like don't fucking fight for the love of god do not fight them for the LOVE OF

"I imagine that vellum gets a cat stance, which is like an L stance" i know there is more informaiton here but my brain has already shifted into the "someone i know is talking about something they love and i understand very little of what's happening here but I'm just excited to listen" mode. But no i do need to know what cat stance is because this is so art in my brain. ill look it up later.

im so *chinhands*

OOOOOH BUT THIS DESCRIPTION IS SO GOOD i CAN SEE IT IN MY BRAIN SO WELL OOOOHAS;DFHKLASEHFASKDFHA VELLUM IS SO COOL

there are no ascii emojis for doing a silly stupid little happy stim but that's what's happening

oh shit luna can fly!

Lune deserves to be condescending to her enemies, she's dealt with so much bullshit.

Ooof we have the AA and now the bramble guard with MOTORCYCLES????? ugh!!! organizations!!!!! Lore!!!!!!!! im swooning. there is nothing sexier in my mind that good worldbuilding

tatiana related plans but not htis episode 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀????

yeah lmao fuck diamond.

okay but in my brain Desdemona was suuuuuuper pretty. Oh no!!! Don't make her endearing!!!!!!!

(sweetly) "So uhhh, people of cindershore as you can see....we have the people of theee passion fruit festival held hostage <3"

THEY WANTED TO DO THIS NON VIOLENTLY god fuck i hate fucking misinformation goddamn.

"side with crystallis of againse you own wellbeing" bestie how is that fucking nonviolent?????

"get your gummy jello fingies in here" hello i am uncomfortablleeee AHSDL;FHASDFHADJSFLHAKDSFJH

TERRORIST TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

I like to imagine that Kit's comments was ipswitch being genuinely helpful

oh god. there was a SPLIT second moment when my entirely world lit up with the GLEE that was Voracity biffing it off the catwalk again.

vellum pulls them...up? NOOO I MEAN THATS SMART BUT AHHHHH IM STAKING THE PROTAGONISTS LIKE A MIRACA (how the FUCK do you spell this im pretty sure i knew that) STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY AHHHHHHHHHH

i swear to GOD the host have an uncanny ability to say the joke i was thinking and I think we've just all got the same internet brain rot. my FIRST thought here was "None successes? left beef." and there we go. no funny left for the rest of us.

oooh what's jakub up to

WITCH TIME WITCH TIME WITCH TIME

"leave diamond where they are" you know, cause fuck em.

LUNA VELLA COMING IN FRIGGGGGING CLUTCH.

"Lunavella casts a spell that was taught to her by tara. Lunavella later taught it to jasper, who used it to talk to a god at a very crucial time"

the VOLUME at which i just sais "HUH?????" is IMMENSE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? HELLP???? NO DONT MOVE ON HELLO??? HI! hIS I HAVE QUESTIONS?

Did jasper do the untethering???? Did jasper PERSONALLY speak to mommy magic???? Is that was Tara did to sacrifice her connection to magic for Merim & Josepha's freedom????? what...what does this mean....

SHE'S TALKING TO KRONOSAVA SHE CALLED THIS RELIC'S FUCKING PARENT. SHE SAID SHE'S GOING TO THE MANAGER. AJSHDFAJSHDFLKAJSHDF

An animatronic giant....HMMMMMM

okay but what is the triple threat if not just a small, minimalist mech suit?

"oh i do like information" "I know!!! Me to!!!" Oh my god they're suchhhh fucking nerds i fucking love them HASKLDJHFASDHFAKDJLFH GET ME TO A CLOSET.

AND JAKUB BLUSHES. AND OF COURSE IPSWITCH DOESN'T NOTICE CAUSE ITS IPSWITCH. THIS IS CUTE AS FUCK

I WANNA TRY TO POSSESS VORACITY Spar has been a ghost for like 2 minutes, and he was already like "When in rome!!!"

Kronosava manifests as a NINE FOOT TALL CLOCKWORK PERSON WITH MANY CLOCK FACES OF IMPOSSIBLE GEOMETRY????? COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL FUCKING RAD RAD RAD

Spar's ALONE with the TIME GOD al;jsdflkasdjfasdjlf

he did NOT just introduce himself....holllly shit lmaooo. "those who may be frozen by my eye are unworthy by my sight" oh so Spar is like. Time daddy's favorite blorbo. This makes sense to me. or maybe somewhat.

KRONOS SAY YALL KINDA SUCK SO I MADE YA DIE, CAUSE FUCK EM

Spar is NOT fucking out logicing this GOD im So here for this. fuck em up bestie FUCK EM UP!!!!!!

imagine your last name being considered by the GOD OF TIME now that's what I call clout.

"relative innocence" yeahhhhh. peace and lvoe on the planet earth, but emphasis on "on the planet earth"

Mayor lipton is the mayor of cindershore.

Okay I understanbd this scene im loving the vibes but MERIM FELSPAR THE SECOND IS NOOOOOTTTTT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM MR. TIME DADDY!!! He can't awnser for the crime and bigroties of Extra #8 and 13

YOU MAKE A GODDEX CHUCKLE that line will be living in my brain as something that can be so symbolism

I....I...I don't like this. wow i HATE how fast spar just traded off year of his fucking life span noooooo. fuck. fuck. fuckity fuck fuck fuck im in distress. ughhhhhh spar being spar.......I will have thoughts but first I need to sigh a lot ......Ugh.

but also fuck the gods im not vibing with this barter situation. is it good for the plot YES is deicide always an aspiration of mine also yes

"it feels like licking a battery with your hand' oooh mental sensory imaginings not good but very very cool

Like sourpatch kids watermelon flavor colorscheme.

*sadly, with hesitation* midtro dance midtro dance....

guhhhh spar....Spar why. Like I understand the choice but that was SO fast. HE DIDNT THINK ABOUT IT AND THAT'S WHAT I --UGHHHHHH

happy late birthday to essay!

ESSAY PLEASE STOP ASTRALLY PROJECTING PLACES ALSDFL;ASHFDLASHDFLKASF

Spar is a snacker and habituatally hands people snacks to keep them sustained.

God yall are just begging for me to write a communion (slash literary term related to chrstian, not christian practice itself. for as much as i say the words lord and god i like barely know who jesus is) fic....soon my toils will be over and my backlog will sing so my like the sirens lulling me away from an approaching storm, so instead my hyperfixation can crash violently upon the rocks and. it. will. be. GLORIOUS.

VELLUM WON A LEETLE KEETY <3<3<3

KIT CAME OUT SWINGING WITH THIS????? ....HUH????? BESTLJHAS;DIFHASDHFASJDFALKDSFKJASF. KIT SAID "IPSWITCH LOOKS AT SOME GAY SHIT END OF SENTENCE" IM DEAD. Im just imaginging Jakub looking at the performers, and at ipswitch, and at the performers, and in his head he's like "why does he look contemplative?"

Xbala, hilde, grey, anya play shoots and ladders at the safe house while knowing Spar, Vellum, ip, Jakub, and Luna are risking their lives fighitng voracity....that was me typing for speed but "Ip" as a nickname is really cute imo.

*much more enthusiatic end of midtro dance*

ILA I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOOD NEWS. DODGE IS ONE. AH. OH NO. HHHHH.

i made i sound like ID been bitten. Voracity. Rancid bestie, what if we like....didnt...

LIASDFASDJFASDF VELLUM'S BLOOD TASTES WIERD?????

*A deep sigh as I realize by having Beloved as a ultimate Vellum is, in fact, another self-sacrificial blorbo for the lot.*

Oh fuck he's so determined and valliant but i want him to STOP.

People should be reinvigorating and spar should be around soon??? im....spoooked. I know being unconcious isn't the end of the world though....

I think some of the gumw as given to Anya and may not have ever been returned? Which i only mention as a brief note for efforts and because these eps are recorded long ahead of time: i aint a snitch

spar to the recsue <3 <3 <3 king I'm imagining spar like Baseball-sliding in, swinging the sword like he's going to a home run, in slow motion. It's VERY cool.

SPAR IS AJUDSHLKJSAHGFKLJSADFGHAS THIS IS FO FUNNY I FUCKING LOVE THIS.

OHHHHH JUST ONE SHORT.

OH. OH SHIT. OH. PLEASE FLIP GOOD OH MY GOD. ID WOULD BE SCREAMING BUT IF I START SCREAMING i CAN'T HEAR.

AHHHHH;LFRGHA jumped so hard I pulled my chair up off the floor and keysmashed irrespocibly enough to put my compter to sleep. I'm SO normal.

The Animaation of this that exists in my brain through. Vellum gets bitten and Voracity reals back enough for you to see, between their faces, spar sprinting towards them reaching for his sword. The Camera whips to a side angle for spar's baseball swing. Slice! Spray of blood as vellum gets up a bit. Shot from below spar's chin to show his determined face and the long line of his arm and Bang! Bang! They all drop until his gun clicks empty. As there's a zoom in on the bat going for the window. One last bang and as Spar looks down the Camera does too, to show Vellym propped up on one arm holding His derringer high for a beat before his arms fall when he slumps in relief and he just smiles as ash rains down around them. Spar falls to his knees, and vellum slides over to kiss him...augh. AUGH!

Spar with a subtle scar over his hear that after 26 is raised and more obvious. For you know. Eventual shiftless art that WILL happen

Oh shit Jakub's getting a fucking promotion, huh?

LKJUAHSFGKJAHSKDFAHSDFKLASD IPSWITCH FINDS TERRORISM TAX FRAUD EVIDENCE I LOOOVE THAT FOR HIM OH MY GODDD <3.

Okay but Jakub being attracted to that is SO dorky and i love them and they're such sillyy guyssss. IPSWITH STARTLES.

"i have one more thing to end on!" [the episode has twnety minutes left]

Governor thorn middle ages. violet haired. carries a spear. CLEARLY need to pack her ass up and fuck off before she messes with Hilde, Anya, Grey and Xbala. I was only gonna mention my favoirites out of that grpup but not yeah they're all good. So throne need to like. go. I don't trust this.

"What's this about? how do you know where this is?" GOOD QUESTIONS.

FUCK. OFF. UNDER ARREST FOR WHAT. BITCH?

NO. NO. YOU DONT GET TO FUCKING END CREDITS MUSIC AFTER THAT FUCK YOU. FUCK OFF. WHAT. WHAT?

What.

i HEARD KEVIN AND I ACTUALLY GASPED. ITS MY FAVORITE CRINGEFAIL KING!!!!

CATBOY ASCE!!!!!!

OH WAIT im realizing....If SUITS has been abolished that Spar did retire after all, huh? Huh. Good for not having to report info about clovenheart. BAD news for whatever the fuck is happening to jack. Interesting news for Vellum's blood theirvery theories. And damn, I just sort of assumed Mayor Thorne was just like...Good Guy(TM) until....well until chapter 3 of tempest and teapots yesterday. God i love stories where things only get bigger. crunchy as hell.

THEY HAVE TO BOTH WEAR HIS CLOTHES STACKED ASJLDFALSDJFADF

I'm in love with Asce's himbo ass, he should NOT be enabling this and YET.

Iris has jury duty and then she's getting a massage and then she's going to therapy and then doing her therapy homework: considering new employment.

DOES CASEDYWM FUCKING STICK THEM IN HIS ACTUAL POCKET??????? OH NO.

ARE THEY JUST GONNA KEEP THE PIXIES IN HIS POCKET THE WHOLE TIME?

"I just need to know whose on top and whose...whose...whose the legs" Ah, when nature denies us our low hanging fruit

oh god I hope asce is left handed because otherwise Caedyn';s hand is occupied and Asce only has access to his non dominant hand

SDLFASDFAJSDFLASDF "I DONT KNOW HOW IT HELPS BIT I WANT IT"

"IS CADEWYN'S noSE PIECED" "IT IS NOW"

ASDKJFA;LSDJFASDF FUCK

added together they look like a great mintaur, yeah!! If someone shakes their head back and forth very fast

peer pressure confusion...sweet jesus.

JSADLFJALKDSFJAS just look abnormnal and blend in!!! This stratedgy would work in many of my social circles to be fair.

Not CALHOUN (just finished reading the 1619 project, that's the last name of the probably most cartoonishly evil & racist person in that entire book. Which, if anything, makes this mor funny for me

HE GIVES CADEWYN MORE ALCOHOL. NOOOO LMAOOOOOO

A BRILLIANT TACTICAL PLAY YOU'RE NOT HIGH LEVEL ENOUGH TO GET FULL DETAILS ON.

I was gonna make a joke about xbala getting arrested in the background but then it hit me: anya is a defense lawyer. A defense lawywer who already fucking hates Thorn. A defense lawyer who already hates thorn who has made up with spar and befriended Xbala and in all likelyhood has the support of the Harrington's behind her. She might. She might fuck it up. Take no prisoners, but like, the opposite way that's usually meant. still just as fuckign rad tho. my brain is turning. rotating like a microwave plate. mmmmmmmmm.

That scene was so funny though. cherry on top of a wonderful episode. i have...i have things to consider.

@threeheartscast @citrusandsalt @ilaalexei

[shinymooncolor]

@lumosinlove most recent chapter was a rollercoaster of crying, yelling and a lot of love for her oc’s. Can we get a round of applause for NatALLY? ❤️

I promise Prague will come up soon, just had to react to the gem that was the last chapter 🏳️‍🌈

So here’s a little sweater weather chat for you as well 😍

(Sergei and Kuny texts in Russian, but to make it easier - it’s in English 😜)

Sweater weather chat #11

Sergei goes into dad-mode. Kasey considers murder. Kuny is a cat. Nado trolls. And he’s got some creative threats. Natalie and Lily are amazing. Walker has a good idea. We struggle with metaphors. So many rainbows. James organizes a “let’s protect Re at all costs” schedule. Sunny texts Hank. Dumo is Dumo ❤️

—-

Dumo: sergei. Hey. I wanted to know how you’re doing.

Sergei: are you ask if I support cap or are you ask if I am ok?

Dumo: you know me too well, old friend.

Sergei: I do not share views with my home on all things.

Dumo: I know. I’m sorry. But we need to support Sirius, and Remus, for that matter, as a team. I need to know I’ve got my best friend with me.

Sergei: I support. We win more. I play my time for Russia. Is ok.

Dumo: what about Kuny?

Sergei: I talk to him. No problem. He is young. Different age.

Dumo: he doesn’t have to say anything. We can keep media off of him but they might ask from Russian media? How can we protect him. Alice is on it. But.

Sergei: Pascal. I raise that boy from he 17. Anya and I not let him ruin national career. But I know him too. He is a good boy and he will support his cap.

Dumo: can I add sunny?

Sergei added Sunny to the chat

Sunny: well that was a shit show. Thank the hockey gods we didn’t have social media when we were babies

Dumo: hehe they’d have never let Sergei back into Russia. 😂

Sergei: I know you have picture. I have too.

Sunny: what’s the plan? I’m not afraid to take a misconduct and a ban if someone says shit

Dumo: it won’t help. But I get it. All star is not going to be fun for him. At least cherry is no longer on tv to say something.

—-

Sergei: hey kid, how are you?

Evgeni: it’s crazy. I mean. He seemed happier but it was so bad the way it was done. I’m really sad for them.

Sergei: I know. No one should have to experience that. Being forced. But kid, how’re you? Anyone tried to get comments?

Evgeni: I... yes... but I don’t know what to say. I don’t care. But. What can i say? I want to play for home. 😟

Sergei: I know. You’ve done two great worlds as a senior, one Olympic and they would be crazy not to pick you. But you know them. You know what it’s like, what they say.

Evgeni: but. He’s my captain. I don’t know. Will you say?

Sergei: I’m old. I’ve done my national duty, we’re happy here. If I can’t come home because i support my friend and captain. I’ll stay. We can try and keep them off of you ok? Alice knows this and she will help. You’re already not their favorite because you pretend to be stupid. But they’re going to be asking from home soon. They’ll expect you to denounce it.

Sergei: I just want to say I love you kid. And I support you. But remember the team is your family too.

Evgeni: I know. Shit. I’m scared. And I’m not even gay. It’s just. I know people joke about me and nado.

Sergei: I think malkin got us covered there. Half the world seems convinced him and Crosby has a secret affair. Don’t worry kid. We’ll work it out.

Evgeni: hehe they do look at each other a lot. And they always fight whenever someone takes the other one down.

Sergei: you fight everyone. And you’ll have to, even more now. They’re going to be mean about this. They’re going to come for us. You have to be strong, kid.

Evgeni: yeah. Don’t care what they say.

Sergei: I know. How’s Nado?

Evgeni: he’s okay. Mostly shocked but he’s already started fighting with people online. Blizzard too.

Sergei: be careful, kid. You’ve got a lot to lose to. Just think before you post?

Evgeni: I will dadddddd

Sergei: shut up. See you for practice. Don’t be late.

—-

Siriusly left the group chat

Blizzard: I DONT CARE IM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER EVERYONE WHO EVEN THINKS ABOUT SAYING SHIT

Prongstar: we’re going to divide and conquer. We need to support Re.

CarbO’Hara: send us a schedule. Hehe also. I’m with kase on this

Nadotheman: fuck yeah.

RussianGod: 🤬👊

Sunnysideup: hank messaged me that the rangers are going to send out a statement in support of an open league for all at least. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 Pens too it seems.

Krisvolley: yeah looking at the all star it’s really cool. @carbo’hara your brother started it?

CarbO’Hara: yeah big bro 😜👊🏳️‍🌈

Walkietalkie: I think it’s safe to assume that other than the snakes, we won’t really get much shit. I know some are going to be stuck up shits but. I’ve got faith. Also way to go finno. 😜😜😜 two birds in your lap is better than one on your head or whatever it is

LeWilliam: you having a stroke? That’s not how the metaphor is.

Walkietalkie: just congratulating my future brother in law. ❤️🏳️‍🌈also hey why don’t we all wear rainbows to next practice? I bet Alice can whip something up? We can get bots and Marls to comment too? 😎

Prongstar: YES! Thanks walks! Also brother in law? You marrying Alex? 🤣

Walkietalkie: naw man. I’m gonna woo noelle, marry her, build her a house and make a bunch of hockey babies. We’re gonna be a dynasty. 😍

Logantremblayzzz: you gotta ask me first. But I like you and she’s happy. Also. Ew don’t talk a about making babies with my sister 😳

Walkietalkie: tell leo to get his hands outta carb’s pants then. They’re getting freaky without you bro.

Logantremblayzzz: YOU PROMISED.

Newt-leo: sorry lo. Also it’s a lie. He was helping me tuck in my shirt. Also walker isn’t even here.

Prongstar: sure. Kuny is hogging all the nachos. If you want any better get in here.

Ollibear: so I’m cat sitting for the terrible twins at their house while you all watch all stars and comfort re? I feel left out 😫

Blizzard: sorry Olli bear. If it helps, you can come and sit in my lap. James said no and my girlfriend is being weird with lily.

Timmyforrealz: I wanna sit in your lap too kasey.

Prongstar: oh you’re too late. He’s got a lap full of Russian enforcer.

CarbO’Hara: I don’t understand the physics of how a giant like that can curl into such a small ball of enforcer. It’s cute. Gotta get a pic.

Nadotheman: careful blizzard. He’s like a cat, once he’s comfy he won’t move. He even purrs if you scratch the back of his neck. 😂

Newt-leo: 🦁🦁🦁

——

NatALLY: ladies. We need to get some food going for Re. Lils and I’ve got it covered for the weekend for now. Anyone check on the disaster twins?

Celeste: Apparently Nado is already making problems online. Alice yelled for 20 minutes at dumo to talk to him.

GingerLily: what did he do?

Celeste: I’m not sure. Something about spamming someone with rainbows and threatening a journalist to run him over with the Zamboni.

Anyaismyname: they came here yesterday. Kuny and Sergei need talk and decide how to handle Russia media. I helped Nado. Was fun. He made Twitter @STILLMYCAPTAINBLACK. Is cute.

NatALLY: I followed. Fuck he’s hilarious. Hahahahaha. Also Kuny showed up at Re’s. That guy can smell nachos across a whole fucking city

—-

Nat: hey Jackie. Great work on the Twitter. Might I get the login? Just thinking you’ll need an administrator when you guys take the ice.

Nado: hey nat. Of course. Already shared it with Olli, kris and timmers. He he. Bitch ass trolls won’t know what hit them.

Nat: they wont. Thanks man, this is brilliant.

Nado: @STILLMYCAPTAINBLACK

PASSWORD: SNAPEISASLEAZEBALL

NatALLY: when did you get so smart?

Nado: honestly it’s mostly Kuny. I know we laugh at his English but the guy is fucking smart you know? Man he’s already trolled some Russians. Sergei and Sunny both refused to translate.

[msshadows97]

“No romance intended you sick puppies”

“There’s a raccoon”

“Whoo”

“I’d strike the sun if it insulted me”

“I will face god and walk backwards into hell”

“Hope comes in too many forms --- who has time for hope?”

"hugs are merely a subtle attempt to strangle you"

"How did I get here?"

"She looked into the toilet and cried"

"I find Darwin's theory on survival of the fittest my personal challenge"

"The ozone is pretty in the winter"

"You dab like a child"

"Call me a basking Robin sample spoon because I'll snap like one"

"Its not gay its Wednesday"

"I'm like a shark if I stop moving I'll die"

"I have no mouth but I must scream"

"Look at the Christmas lights! Oh wait that's a stop light"

"Can you see the blind?"

"I'm going to eat your toes"

"Freshmen looks makes eating children look fun "

"If clouds are made of water, doesnt that make rain abandoned cloud pieces because they aren't good enough to be clouds"

"I have cried over pasta"

"The dog isnt cute its rabid"

"What's the clear tape called? Oh ya tape"

"That's how you left our friendship, on the ground.... broken"

"And then they pulled a nut out of his chest!"

"What's the wiki?"

"They found a beluga whale with a harness, it's a Russian spy"

"What if I had a duck army and the commander is named Jim?"

"Boats are weird, am I right?"

"Is it true human spawn are born from a ritual of blood and pain?"

"The amish are part of the government.... they have control"

"You dont know how much someone is worth till you sell them"

"*whispers* put the lotion on the skin"

"Right now I'm Switzerland"

"Grades? is that a sause?"

"Call me sister slug"

"My emotions give me whip lash"

"I have the social tack of a dysfunctioning wrecking ball"

"shark bait hoo ha ha"

"I am a dramatic bird"

" Rome wasn't built in a day but did burn down in one"

"I'm to much like a house plant"

"Due to personal reasons I'm evil now"

"My lucky number is pi because my luck is never ending"

"Follow me, I'm right behind you"

"My body parts are in different time zones"

"I'm like a key to a lock that doesn't fit"

"How dare the world tilt on its axis"

"If your possessed by a demon, we aren't taking you home"

"Rose's are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue"

"Drink some tea, while we spill some tea"

"How many hail marrys?"

"I’m more temperamental than a mercury thermometer.”

"Put the lime and the coconut and shake it all up"

"I'm like a kid in a candy store, I just don't know when to stop"

" My emotions are like an avacado"

"Its either my arthritis or caffeine I can't tell anymore"

"You mean you can't tell people tallies by their baldness"

"Don't touch me I'm poisonous"

"Im so fucking feral"

"Is this how it ends?"

"You never realise how pale you are till you buy foundation"

"Can my imaginary friend kill me?"

"Jesus will forgive me"

“I want to eat a butterfly…. I just might”

“I’d hit a bitch with a lamp”

“I murdered for a muffin”

“Emotional support does not exist in this world”

“If i find a ghost attractive is it necrophilia”

“Free baby with every purchase”

“Death has an american accent”

“Death did not choose. He made a mistake”

“Trying to clobber somebody to death with cheap bedside decoration”

“Mom Im scared come pick me up they're howling again”

“Guess falling makes you change genders”

“I was once inspired by the soundtrack to frozen 2”

“Bros before immortality”

“Sex with a ghost? How would that even work?”

“If i was an egg i’d drop it”

“I wish i was well adjusted”

“wow, my mouth is watering… No that's the rabies flaring up”

“Im a good dude who makes strange work for him”

“What do you call terorism against heaven and hell?’

“I didnt sign up for this now suffer with me”

“Food is a metaphor for love”

“Oh shit wrong body… before he realizes that it doesn't matter”

“Snowflake the stalker peacock”

“Shane kills a man and eat cocoa puffs”

“Summoning a demon is pretty chill”

“And god said ‘ its kinda boring isn't it?”

“laying an egg is fucking wack”

“God once said ‘they will never comprehend those lights’ he then asked why she yeeted him to hell”

“What's it like to forgive a dumbass?”

“Earth is a libra”

“ my life is a lie thats why i live in my mind”

“Whats it like to be straight?”

“Are the straights ok?”

“I hide my issues while you hide your distress”

“My solution to everything is a good neck rub”

“We are like two peas in a rotten pod”

“Cannibalism and love should never be in the same sentence”

“I’m wearing a tummie tuck-FUCK”

“It’s not gay if he’s dead”

“Another interruption during the presentation will result in you being thrown out a window.”

“Jeez he meant a Literal closet”

“You know you fucked up when the villain starts to Tortured the entity death”

“Names Richard but I go by dick… by choice”

“The human mind is my worst fear”

“I’m a switchblade”

“My soul jumped a little”

“My back is like a glow stick”

“i don’t have a brain actually. my head is just filled with lots and lots of dried flowers”

“Vleb the American musical”

“damn, you live laugh love like this?”

“Are you really making jokes about your death?”

“ baths are the accepted human soup”

“I don’t want a sugar daddy I want a salty daddy”

“Sanity is not real, it's a social construct.”

“ Sprite is the want to be water“

“I’m not gonna lock my car. What are they gonna do, steal my Cinderella booster seat?”

“That’s what Christmas is all about. Eating sugar cookie dough like it’s weed.”

“Ghost be horny because they’re dead”

"What do you take me for, human?”

“I will put you in a neverending story full of plot holes and spelling errors”

[jamesdeerest]

dating remus lupin hcs

first time writing for wolfyboi :)

requested by: anon

so as we know, remus is sarcastic af

remus invented sarcasm

remus, james, peter and sirius all have different hats

sirius’ says ‘i bring the sex appeal’

peter’s says ‘i bring the food’

james’ says ‘i bring the good hair’

and remus’ says ‘i bring the sarcasm’

its a thing ok

so thats what first drew u to him 

sirius was being a numpty

and remus

tore

him

down

other students shed tears

spoiler: the other students were all james

‘how could u hurt my bby in this way’

‘james u serious’

‘nO BUT HE IS AND U HURT HIM U HURT MY BBY REMUS UGH I CAN’T ANYMORE’

yeah james had a bit too much sugar

u were laughing tho

bc

sirius is a bit of a nincompoop sometimes

quite a lot of times actually

sirius’ hat should say ‘i bring the nincompoopity’

is that a word??

doesn’t matter

damn i think i had too much sugar before writing this

this isn’t really a dating headcanon now

its a headcanon about how sirius and james are constantly hyper

oKAY WE’RE GOING TO GET BACK ON TRACK

so

u laughed

and remus was like ‘hmmm u kno what i like that sound’

so he turned around

and he saw

YOU

in all your gorgeousness

and he was like

damn son

she fineee

but as we all kno, remus is an adorable awkward boi

so

what actually happened was he froze

and stared at you for ages

until sirius whacked him

‘mate u alright’

james- ‘don’t worry darling its the guilt of what he said’

then lily whacked james and he shut up

however whilst all this was happenin, peter had a brain

shockingly

and he used it

gasp

so he shoved remus towards you

‘sorry i tripped’

‘nO pRoBlEm wOrMy’

spoiler: remus wanted to strangle him

‘im so sorry my mate shoved me’

but u chill 

‘nah dont worry about it’

suddenly james and sirius have caught on

‘OOH MOONEY ASK HER OUT’

‘SHUT UP’

he looks awkwardly at u

‘so.... u at hogwarts huh?’

wHAT THE FUCK REMUS

GODDAMMIT WHAT WAS THAT

but then u laugh again yay

‘yeah i guess’

‘cool... me too’

cue awkward silence

‘um- you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but do you...maybe... wannagotohogsmeade?”

‘sorry what? didn’t quite catch that last bit’

‘do u wanna go to hogsmeade w me’

‘i’d like that’

she said yes omg

‘cool! great! splendiferous!’ what the fuck did remus just say

remus doesn’t know either

he’s actually talking in third person

yep ive confused myself

SO

first date

do u go to madam puddifoot’s?? nOPE

bc that place makes me throw up no joke

instead you guys walk around hogsmeade

spend AGES in honeydukes 

go to the three broomsticks

be cuties

spoiler: the boys are spying on you the whole time

even more spoiler: they get caught when remus leans in for a kiss and sirius shouts ‘oH mY gOd iTs hApPeNinG’

remus is planning his murder at that point

who am i kidding he’s already planned that hes decorating his planning board

but after remus has kicked them out

you guys actually kiss

and

it is

fucking

adorable holy shit

james squeals from the distance

peter throws a dove at you guys

which ultimately ends up pooing on remus’ head

this is the point where the boys sprint away

bc remus is maddd

but then

‘you look so cute’

and u scourgify him bc bird poo is gross

and hes happy boi

and to this day he has hated doves

like at your wedding, remus’ mum goes ‘oh you could have doves fly in! that would be so romantic’

‘no.’

‘why not? it would be so cute-’

‘nO’

wow that was a time skip

anyway

u guys are the cutest couple ever

and sooo fkn supportive and loving

and u both live forever

the end

:)

we did it! jesus that was long

and i said i wasn’t gonna update today

and i fkn updated today

i have had either too much coffee or not enough and i don’t know which

anyway

onto the tags

taglist: @blackpinkdolan @hoewkeye @shadyladyperfection

send an ask or a message if you want to be tagged!

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated :)

[curly-q-reviews]

FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!!  happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!!  i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!!  move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them.  i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead.  it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content).  and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required!  ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough.  and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!!  lets make our own movies baby!!!!”  and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way.  why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy?  and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so.  Bird Box.  here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry).  this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver???  well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!!  we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story. 

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan.  y’all remember The Happening?  cause i remember The Happening.  i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves.  the PLANTS.  and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck. 

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken.  we basically have the same premise going on here:  unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films).  now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense.  when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside.  makes sense!  thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it.  apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is.  and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue.  i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story.  and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing??  unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do. 

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box.  if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage.  i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something.  the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at.  and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit.  like why cant we have the best of both of these??  something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place.  there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have.  weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward.  bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes. 

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie.  if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you.  the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park.  go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!!  my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL

[voidselfshipp]

The Too Daring Devil

Cw:shooting mention,violence ment.

Ask to tag. Ok to rb.

Summary: Frank introduces Daredevil to the overseer. Things get out of hand.

Taglist: @tex-treasures @the-league-of-vigilantes @sectvmsemprae

Daredevil and the punisher sneak into the house by the Fire emergency stair case.

As they enter they see a bed, a pc and a closet amongst other things.

-- so this is the overseers house ?-- asked Daredevil.

-- yeah, last time I sneaked in she almost shoots me in the face-- Frank said opening the door to the kitchen-- hey jerico! Im here with that client I told you about!

Jerico Turned around to face the vigilantes, she crosses her arms-- you have my keys , Frank, Cant you just come in like a normal person?

-- wait you have her keys?!-- asked Matt.

-- yeah I do, oh, carefull with the bird!-- castle commented.

--the bird?!-- Daredevil suddely felt something lunging at him and missing him by a hair.

-- that Rat with wings doesnt like Newcomers-- quipped the punisher-- it almost rips my hair out

Jerico laughed-- ian! They are alright! Come here-- the hawk flies to his owners shoulder-- okay, what do you guys need?

Matt walks towards her-- I need information, Frank told me that if theres someone that knows everything thats happening in the city, its you

She raised a brow -- did he now?

The punisher blushes scoffing-- dont let it get to your ego, nosy..

-- oh im nosy now?-- she teased, turning her attention to Daredevil-- sure, whatever you need I can get, just so you know, im doing this as a favor for Frank, I owe Him, Next time youll have to pay

Matt chuckles-- yeah he told me that, I dont suppose you live off of charity

After telling her what he needs the vigilantes sit by on the couch as she ruminishes through her computer and camera, extracting what she needs.

When she comes by she finds castle making coffee-- id say make yourselves at home, seems that you Beated me to it

Frank rolled his eyes handing her a mug, she then walks towards Daredevil and gives him an USB-- here, youll be able to print them safely, though, thats the half of the Information, the rest I dont have but, if youre willing we can meet once I got it

--Sure, youll need a way of contacting Me, though-- Matt said.

--i already got your number, so , youre the lawyer that took his case huh? Gotta thank you for that

Daredevil nodded-- well, overseer, ill see you around-- he stood up ready to leave.

Frank finished his coffee and kissed the top of jericos head-- goodnight, nosy

--Hey, text me when you get home okay?

-- c'mon you know nobody is gonna mess with me-- the punisher said.

-- I dont care, castle, text me

He rolled his eyes-- okay, okay I Will

They leave through the Window, making her exhale deeply in annoyance.

After some weeks jeri called Matt and arranged a meeting place.

Matt entered the café, with his Cane he walks to a dar corner where jerico was sitting.

-- hey look who it is-- she teased.

Daredevil sits with her-- afternoon to you too

She giggled , and he could hear her heart skip a beat-- yeah ,afternoon, heres the rest of the Information

He took the stack of papers and photos and shoved them into his bag.

--So-- started jerico-- are you gonna order something?

-- what?

-- well its kinda sketchy if I hand you a stack of papers and you just leave, try and make it seem we are talking about work!

Matt nodded and when he heard a waiter pass by he ordered.

-- 'the overseer' thats a name-- he joked.

-- says 'Daredevil'-- she joked back.

-- touché...-- admitted Daredevil nodding-- so, you and castle, how did that happend? If its okay to ask...

Jerico chuckles-- well he was looking for the culprits of his familys murder, and he came to me, I took pity on him and handed the info for free, we spent a lot of time togheter, got to know eachother and we fought, badly, then we went our separate ways.

One night he needs info for Homeland security, sneaks into my house and well, we make up and get togheter...

-- thats a very nice story-- Matt said-- didnt take him as a feelings guy..., I mean, I didnt think hed say sorry

-- neither did I and here we are-- she said-- I didnt expect the devil of hells kitchen being this nice

Daredevil laughed softly-- yeah? What you though I was a prick?

-- well, you get along with Frank so--

They share a laugh and Keep talking until its night time, Matt pays and as they stand there on the sidewalk he asks-- let me walk you home?...

-- huh, sure-- she answered, once they get there he says.

-- well ill be leaving...

--stay-- jerico pleads-- its late already

-- I can--

-- I can take care of myself-- she interrupts him-- Frank gives me the same bullshit-- she yanks him into her house and locks the door-- its late, just stay here, I can take the couch.

-- the couch? Nono I Will

-- no, Matt, you take the bed

He sighs-- itd be rude for me to take the bed

-- says who?-- she asked.

-- well if you wanna share...-- Matt trailed off thinking she'd back off.

How wrong she was.

Jeri took a look at him-- sharing a bed with a guy as handsome as you? Sure-- she smiled and Walked to her bed-- come on now, im tired

Daredevil stands there speechless before chasing after her.

-- turn around-- she says.

--You know I cant see-- commented Matt in response.

He hears her huff and takes off her clothes to change into something more comfortable.

-- oh wipe that stupid grin off your face!-- jerico exclaimed with her cheeks red.

He could hear her fastening heartbeat, he assumed she must be blushing, it only makes his grin grow,-- the tough overseer, nobody messes with her, blushing over a changing clothes Infront of a blind Man -- at this point he was teasing, but then he falls to the bed, arms held togheter by the wrists with jericos grip.

Her other hand Next to his side for support as her legs straddle Him to the matress-- Keep it up and youll find why nobody messes with me, murdock!

She was closer than he liked.

Theres a silence where their faces stand way too close to eachother.

-- s sorry i-- jeri backs off and sits on matts lap, who sits up letting her get into bed.

-- its okay, I went overboard...

He lays besides her with their backs pressed against eachother, Cheeks Burning.

Next Day , Matt finds himself tangled with jericos limbs.

He sighs thinking of the beating he might receive if Frank finds out about this, speacially beacuse jerico was wearing only a shirt besides her undergarments.

He tries to break his grip but fails miserably, sighing he lets himself melt in her embrace.

Hes about to fall asleep when he hears a shocked gasp and a loud thud.

-- are you okay?-- he asked as jeri stands up.

-- yeah...yeah..just took me by surprise...

As they eat breakfast Matt says-- I need some more info,ill pay up

-- no no-- jer hands him his coffee-- its for free

-- what? No, let me--

-- you helped castle, you took up his case, im forever thankfull, besides...-- her hand goes up to his bicep-- im beginning to like you, mr. Murdock...

Matt chuckles leaning in, his spare hand sneaking to her waist-- the feeling Is mutual ms...?

--gomez...

--ms. Gomez...

After their not so subtle flirting Matt leaves for work.

They kept talking to eachother, making Matt laugh in his Office and getting teased by foggy.

After a bit they Keep seeing eachother outside work, one night jerico invited Matt to eat dinner.

They are at her house, talking and waiting for the food to be done.

-- have you ever ball danced?--She asked.

--No,not really-- he said.

She took his hand and yanked Him to dance, her hands on his bíceps and his arms around her waist.

They rock back and forth.

--This...this is nice-- Matt said.

-- yeah its nice, isnt it?

He leans in-- do you think Frank is going to beat my ass if I do this?

--Do what--?

He kisses her briefly, and lets out a deep chuckle as he hears her heart pumping like it was going to beat out of her chest.

-- come here you-- she kisses him again yanking him from the edges of his shirts collar.

Hugging her tighter, Matt kissed back, smiling like an idiot.

-- and about castle? Dont worry im sure he wont mind...-- she flirted.

After eating they cuddled under the blankets.

-- promise me that you wont fall on your ass tomorrow when you find me cuddling you

--haha, go fuck yourself Matt...

--on it, baby

[angelixii]

1-140 (anything you haven't answered already) - Felix

Oh, hello! Thanks for the ask!! 💕

3 fears - Spiders (I get frightened when I think about them) heights (slightly) and the public (anything like murder, kidnapped, ya know stupid people)

 3 Things I love - Music, Idols, and animals

 2 Turns on - ig Hats (like snapbacks) and glasses

 2 Turns off - oof I don’t really know.. ig self absorbed or a fudge boy

 My best friend - C: @straykids-sk (wuv you)

 How tall am I - 5′2

 What do I miss right now - My cat that passed away :c (her name was P.J)

 Favourite color - Blue, red, and sometimes green

 Do I have a crush - no not really

 Favourite place - my home

 What am I listening to right now - theres a website called asoftmurmur.com and it has noises like rain or waves and stuff like that

 Shoe size - pretty sure 10 in US womens

 Eye color - brown

 Hair color - light-ish brown

 Meaning behind my URL - I chose Felix cause hes my bias wrecker and hes angelic C:

 Favourite song - Theres like a million but 5SOS’s She Looks So Perfect wil always be a favorite (idk why)

 Favourite band - Ill just chose Stray Kids cause I don’t wanna write them all out

 How I feel right now - kinda tired but ig ok

 Someone I love - Ill say my best fren Georgia (@straykids-sk) cause i wuv her

 My current relationship status - single and i kinda wanna stay that way for a while

  My relationship with my parents - We all live in the same house and its just us (I have one other sister but she moved out. But shes here a lot tho) and we all get along well

 Favorite season - probably Spring c:

 Tattoos and piercing I have - none and I don’t really want any

 Tattoos and piercing I want - ^^^

The reasons I joined Tumblr - Georgia wanted me to and I thought it would be fun (I was right c:)

 Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - no :/

 Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - oh heel no she my best fren I would never

 How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - when I have school like 20 minutes at max

 Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? - I did today

 Where am I right now? - at my house on my laptop c:

 Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable level cause I’ve always had ear problems and they are sensitive (even tho I always have my earbuds in)

 Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - yup

 Am I excited for anything? - not that I can think of no

 Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - nope :/

 How often do I wear a fake smile? - not THAT often

 If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - oooof I don’t think I could answer that question

 What do I think about most? - probably k-pop

 Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Definitely behind

 What was the last lie I told? - It was kinda a joke but “i’ll do it because im the good child”

 Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Eh depends on who it is but facetiming/video chatting

 Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - ghosts kinda and aliens, I mean sure we’ve barely discovered space, who knows whats out there

 Do I believe in magic? - sometimes yeah

 Do I believe in luck? - I mean yeah

 What’s the weather like right now?- theres nothing really going on

 What was the last book I’ve read? - uhhhhhh fully on my own (not in class)? The Maze Runner Scorch Trials

 Do I have any nicknames? - Kassadoodle, Kassidilla, Kassy

 Do I spend money or save it? - I’m trying to save as much as I can rn in my little money jar c:

 Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - nah

 Favourite animal? - Lions and Fennec Foxes

 What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - uhhh im pretty sure saying goodbye to Georgia on video chat

 What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - oo um I cant really think of one rn :/

 What is my favorite word? - yeet

 My top 5 blogs on tumblr (not in any order)

@honeylixs

@zoxsu

@tinyfigureskater

@stray-kids-dork

@straykidsmate

 If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - I probably wouldn’t say anything cause im shy and afraid people would judge me on what I say c:

 Do I have any relatives in jail? -not that I know of

What is my current desktop picture? - a pic of Bts

Had sex? Bought condoms? Gotten pregnant? Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Had job? Smoked weed? Smoked cigarettes? Drank alcohol?

no to ALL those questions C:

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - nope don’t think I could ever

Been overweight? - …

Been underweight? - no.

Gotten my heart broken? - nah

Been to prom? - nope

Been in airplane? - nope and I never want to really

Learned another language? - I take required (cause im one of the more intelligent kids in school. I know shocker right?) Spanish classes in school but im on summer break so I dont remember any c:

Wore make up?- nope

Dyed my hair? - nope

Had a surgery? - plenty of ear surgery and had my tonsils removed

Met someone famous? - nope

Stalked someone on a social network? - nope

Been fishing? - no but my dad has always wanted to take me and it sounds kinda fun

Been rejected by a crush? - nope never really had one and if I did I would never have the guts

What do I want for birthday? - ooo idk but i have to wait till next year anyway cause its already passed

Do I like my handwriting? - sometimes when my hand cooperates

Where do I want to live when older? - with my girl Georgia

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - nope ima good child (yeah ok suuureee)

What I’m really bad at - running :/

What my greatest achievments are - managing to keep straight A’s and I dont even study cause im online so

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “u bird cage” - Georgia c;

What I’d do if I won in a lottery - ooooooooof idk

What do I like about myself - uhhhhh heh ig my hair or eyes/eyelashes

My closest Tumblr friend - Georgia (yes I do know her irl but shes honestly the closet tumblr friend I have so)

Any question you’d like? - hmm idk

Are you outgoing or shy? - definitely shy, unless with people im close to then quite crazy

What kind of people are you attracted to? - funny, cute and nice people

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - hA no

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - kinda

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - oof idk

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “ohhhh no XDD” (sent to Georgia)

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - (I already answered this question and don’t wanna answer again)

Do you like it when people play with your hair? - yes I love when freinds at school did (once we were watching a movie in Spanish and my friend next to me was playing with my hair and I almost fell asleep heh)

Do you think there is life on other planets? - totally

Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t had one in forever

Do you like your neighbors? - only one cause I think im related to them somehow or they are to like my uncle

Where would you like to travel? - out of this hell hole country c:

Favorite part of your daily routine? - checking my tumblr and stanning talent

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - stomach

What do you do when you wake up? - check my notifications on my phone

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I wish it was more tan than it is (im quite pale)

Do you ever want to get married? - yeah

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? - yes but I hate pony tails so I never do it (I used to all the time as a kid)

Would you rather live without TV or music? - I rarely watch t.v anymore and listen to music almost all day so

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - I mean yeah

What are your favorite stores to shop in? - I dont really have one for clothes but I do like Walmart

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - I mean sometimes

Do you smile at strangers? - If the smile at me first yeah

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - not that I can remember no

Ever wished you were someone else? - no (as much as I hate myself no)

Favorite makeup brand? - son;t wear any so I dont got one

Last thing you ate? - a Reese cup

Ever won a competition? For what? - not a big one I can remeber no

Ever been in love? - c:

Facebook or Twitter? - dont have a fb and i barely use twitter anymore but twitter

Twitter or Tumblr? - DEFINITELy tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? - i mean its always on for bg noise and light so ig so

What color are your towels? - all kinds of colors

Favorite ice cream flavor? - either Strawberry with out the strawberries or cookie dough

First person you talked to today? - my mom

Last person you talked to today? - Georgia

Name a person you hate? - C: theres too many

Name a person you love? - once again, theres too many

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - C: theres too many

Do you tan a lot? - I barely go outside so thats a no

Have any pets? - too many

Do you type fast? - I mean kinda yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? - everything XD

Ever broken someone’s heart? - I highly doubt it

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - C:

Is cheating ever okay? - hell no

Do you believe in true love? - I mean sure

What your zodiac sign? - Pisces

Do you believe in ghosts? - why is this question on here twice?

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? (via catscuddlingandyou) - “…but not at all overwhelming, the balance of the different fragrances was subtle and flawless.” Twilight - Breaking Dawn (Do NOt ask me why thats the closest book its not mine and ive never read it and i NEVER plan on it)

oof that took like two hours heh.. its now currently 2:18am. and im very tired

but thanks for the ask anyway love! Im sorry for the wait! I was busy today. But im probably going to go to bed now

[lokbobpop]

Animal

The word "animal" comes from the Latin animalis, meaning having breath, having soul or living being

An animal is a living creature such as a dog, lion, or rabbit, rather than a bird, fish, insect, or human being. ... Any living creature other than a human being can be referred to as an animal. Language is something which fundamentally distinguishes humans from animals.

Animal an minimal, an im al , ani mal

Writing the word animal

Where to start really i just got a sharp spike rise up from my gut to my chest fear dread to walk this word because i know im not going to want o face this word at all with all the animal abuse i have to push myself to see this because i dont want o see the abuse that has been done to the animal kingdom by myself or others.

I remember when i was about 9 i pulled my dog back from moving forward because i wanted to look like i had control over my dog and she chocked a bit and for years after i felt o bad about this and never forgiven myself for this when she died I would beat myself up about what i did.

The animals in Africa come to mind as these animals are nowhere else like this sure they animals but the big cats giraffe hippo rhino and all the wilder beasts it place of wonder.

My animals geese guinea fowl dogs pea cock fish cows but has comes up all the animals that have died within my possession hundreds of chicken murdered by wild dogs my dogs but snakes eagles sickness hundreds of fish thwart were traumatized not having enough space rabbits killed by dogs wild dogs chinchillas that jumped off the roof to get away geese killed by wild dogs and eagles chicks that dies easy i feel i take the blame of not being a goo0d enough person looking after all the animals in my care i feel a bad person not good enough and i just cant seem to get past this point of not being good enough and what ive done something to write out again maybe now while im here. Why do you feel you still need to suffer form this because they all suffered because of me why because they were in my possession and I didn’t always do whats best for them it was like yes ill take on more animals why it was like I wanted to be loved by them help them but it didn’t work out like that why because they mostly died why because I didn’t cage them well enough take care of them enough why because i just thought they be ok i suppose its hard when everything is out to kill them and eat them why they need to eat to I suppose but i think the chinchilla were the most neglected on the roof it was hot I didn’t know what to do with them so i put them up there they went missing the two baby ones and the mother jumped off the roof it was awful trying to get out free of the enclosure. Why do you want to carry this about ? Because i feel i deserve to suffer what i did to them why its my fault why because im not good enough why because i should have done better by them why they deserve better than what they got from me why why should any animal have to suffer this way why it’s life here my immaturity and im really sorry for what i did they had no hope with me I couldn’t look after myself and was looking for love outside myself and not loving myself and these animals suffered for me not feeling loved and wanting the love i had wit jukey

Reading animal

Ok so the abuse within the animal kingdom the abuse that factory farming is doing write now every second of everyday an animal is in sheer hell agony misery torture and many more unthinkable things what we allow to happen with the animal kingdom is horrific the killing of animals for there horns tusks there coats furs there meat the whole industry is appalling and needs to be stopped and i dont see it happening in the 50 years so its still going to be hell for billions of animals.

I do love animals dog particularly ive had many rescue dogs i love them but do try home remedies first before the vet which I shouldn’t always do i should do whats best fro the dog.

The clothing brand

Out loud

Animal minerals plants

The scientific experiments on animals is appalling seeing animals locked up in cages is a horrific thing to see.

The animals on eqafe i think i will walk then next to help me move on.

Your an animal when talking to someone who is acting like an animal as a joke like eating like one.

Sf

Does this definition support me no way how awful to carry round so much pain i have opened it up before but i need to go deeper and look at what ive aloud to happen and repeat what’s happening again and again

Animal same as all

Animal

The animal kingdom from the great to the small the lion to the mouse

How will you live this word?

I will live this word but taking better care of what animals are in my care whats best for them and before buying more animals i will see if can take care of them what stands out for me here is that but the death of the chinchilla that I need to so whats best for all animals that are in my care.

Mass farming and scientific experiments i will live the word change that the people involved will see the error of there ways and it will all come to an end one day.

[petergriffinhateblog-blog]

ok like... i make fun of family guy a lot, but for being a shit show, the plot is more put together than this

at the very least they notice their inconsistencies and the Status Quo and all of their plot/animation flaws, if only to poke fun at it (such as ending an episode mid plot in a wacky way cuz they ran out of time)

the emoji movie blatantly ignores them in lieu for... pop culture references that will surely go outdated within a few years. i’m fucking surprised that when the youtube app was opened, there wasnt a five minute segment of pewdiepie

im starting to ramble so heres a readmore

listen tho- the ‘meh’ emoji was a fun concept at first to make your main character, but between watching cliches (did u kno the hacker girl named jailbreak is actually THE PRINCESS EMOJI???) and then high five being, uh... the closest resemblance of comedic relief, it’s Very Hard to feel very bored at the concept of the two ‘meh’ parents of the main char talk to each other.

like... they broke up and it was boring. and then they got together and it was boring. i get it was supposed to be a joke about how their emotion goes against what they’re saying, but when your actors speak in monotone the whole time it conveys pure boredom and nonchalance

i told someone earlier that watching this movie is like watching a middle school play- everyone either says their lines like they’re reading it directly off the script... or they’re overacting. none of it sells.

combine that with the fact they’re unironically saying shit like “slay!!!” during dancing or “bye, felicia” as an ‘insult’ as if THAT’S not going to seriously date them more than the references are??

and the fact that movies take Actual Time to fucking Make means that by the time this thing came out, it was already... dated and ancient. to put that into context- there aren’t any mentions of fidget spinners, nor slime challenges (or slime making in general). yea, those are passing trends (except in the stim community, which isnt so much about making slime in the first place), but.. that’s the point. these things move so fucking fast that you CAN’T make a movie off pop culture like this.

remember those lists of emoticons that went around for a while that were like “im gonna rate every cow” and how they compare apple vs android vs google vs every other fuckin chat system?? they aren’t even consistent with THEMSELVES every year, how the fuck are you gonna cash in on making those emojis represent your CHARACTERS without completely alienating some of your targeted audience

at least fuckin Angry Birds or even Minecraft or Five Nights At Freddy’s have more to go off of. sure, they’re as bad as the emoji movie on that they’re gonna just be about current popular shit, but... each one of those things actually had a foundation you could build off of. the first two things (angry birds and minecraft) arent gonna go away, they’re INSANELY popular. and five nights at freddy’s? sure, yea, there was a risk that the series dropped off the face of the planet after that first month the original game came out, but there’s still shit to build on- say what you want about the fnaf series, but you gotta admit that if you take the setting of the whole series (and not just fucking retell what happens in the game just in movie form), you have something that could be interesting! HELL, i can come up with an okay idea off the top of my head- matpat (the guy from Game Theories) is the detective behind Some Fucking Murder Case and has to get to the bottom of it, involving a lot of hijinks that become progressively sillier as he goes on and gets less sleep (due to the nature of the game being At Night), until the ending where his silly hijinks and wacky theories save him from death and help him find the Lost Child that everyone assumed was murdered

- but, uh. the emoji movie? it has NOTHING. there’s no plot to texting, there’s no emotions or memories or setting or backstory to ANY of it. you take away the memorable faces and there’s literally nothing there to go on- never mind that 60% of the emojis look So Alike even on the big screen that ‘meh’s ability to change emotions makes him literally able to disguise himself as another person.

and, personally? im still bugged that shit like high five or aubergine are also referenced as emojis beside the faces, considering... i dont think there’s a fuckin aubergine emotion. what personality do you give them. why is this movie about Being Yourself when thats what literally half of your cast does. why does no one feel sympathy for this character being forced into a small Literal Box of expectations when... a lot of random smileys dont experience this weird Universal Law That Only Applies To Some Of Them.

im not a movie expert, but im pretty sure thats Bad in a few number of ways.

also the main char basically gets Friendzoned and then immediately just loses all emotion and gets depressed until she comes back and is like “IM SORRY I LOVE YOU” so like...

this is terrible

as a fucking family guy hate blog who goes out of my way to watch bad shows and movies??? dont bother here. its Not Worth It.

(the overall plot, too, is that Malware is Okay as long as the emojis are good, which is probably dangerous, but, you know. whatev)

[warmau]

What would VIXX be like if they were detectives and you were either their assistant or the person they were scolding the case for? Or even the one they were trying to apprehend? :0

Hakyeon

world-renowned detective 

only works cases that even the government can’t solve, has an obsession with trying to solve cold cases that are over hundreds of years old

is a Gentlemen to the bone. wears nothing but the most expensive suits, addresses everyone formally, and carries a pocket watch in this day and age

doesn’t like working with partners, it isn’t his thing. like the government will offer him the opportunity to have the smartEST people in korea help him but he’ll always just wave the offer off because he’s got this on his own

he once accepted the help of a policeman and everyone was so shocked but in the end all he did was make the policeman run around making him coffee and at the end of the case hakyeon was like “thank you for all your effort!” and the policeman was like but i didn’t do anything,,,,,and hakyeon just smiled like nonsense, you made the best coffee ive ever had!

you meet hakyeon because you’re related to someone who disappeared mysteriously back in the seventeen hundreds and hakyeon just so happened to have taken on that person’s missing case as a side hobby and he shows up in front of your house

at first pretending to be a repairman and you’re like,,,,,,,are repairman always this handsome and courteous?? also you don’t understand half the big words he’s saying

but you let him in because your sink is broken and hakyeon,,,,probably because he’s like a genius,,,,actually does fix the sink and wipes his hands with this silk handkerchief he takes out of the suit he’s wearing

and in your head you’re doing math like suit + handkerchief + good vocabulary + beautiful face = sink repairman?? no no no it =,,,,

and it takes you more than normal but once hakyeon turns to suddenly ask you a question about your family tree you point at him and go

“detective cha?”

and he just smiles calmly and goes, “took you long enough to notice.”

that’s how he ends up sitting at your table, asking you various questions about where your parents are from, if you know this person or that person

and to be honest you didn’t even know someone in your family went missing that long ago

but hakyeon fills you in on what he knows and when he’s done, he says goodbye in his usual manner - with a bow 

but you don’t let him leave, you grab your coat and you’re like “you’re going to go investigate more aren’t you?” and he’s a bit surprised, but nods and you’re like “ill go with you!!!” 

and as i said before he’s not to excited about partners, and he does try to discourage you as you follow him out to the car outside but you’re determined to find out what happened to your relative and hakyeon,,,,,

looking into your eyes which are clear, and passionate,,,,,,

and actually interested in what he told you decides that it would be very “un-gentlemen” of him to say no to someone who is related to the victim and all that,,,,

so he let’s you come along and revisit some old sites and stop by a museum and question some more people about their relatives who knew the person at hand

and in the end hakyeon, in his mind, has managed to piece together a story that you like ???? could never have imagined

and hakyeon,,,,who sees how well you’ve kept up - even taking to recording notes on your phone while he questioned people,,,,decides to take you to his home and help you figure out his conclusion

and his home is just as elegant and as well kept as he is, everything is in the rich colors of mahogany and silver and with a kind of victorian twist to it

and hakyeon sits you down in front of a large board on which he’s pasted old photos of your relative who went missing, newspaper clippings, handwritten notes, scraps and all that and with the efficiency and lightness of a bird he goes from photo to photo, from article to article

and explains to you exactly what he believes happened on the night of  the appearance so so very long ago

it’s almost like you’re watching a documentary narration as he explains each clue and then at the end he turns to look at you and goes

“they never disappeared, they simply left to be with their lover in another country.”

and you’re like WOW how,,,how could you just get that from all this random old stuff, but you clap your hands and go “what a story! you could write a book!”

and hakyeon blushes a bit becuase ok he’s used to people being like “you’re a genius” or “it was so simple?” but,,,,,a book?? you obviously were more focused on the case than most people,,,,

and you get up to study his board closer and hakyeon is standing close to you as you point at pictures and ask questions

and in the dim light of the room, he sees your face glow and that same spark in your eyes he noticed before

and the way in which your hair smells faintly of something sweet when you lean up beside him,,,

and hakyeon has never been one for a partner because they just get in the way,,,but you,,,,,,,

there’s something about you that doesn’t get in his way,,,instead there’s something about you that comforts him

and when you look at him, smiling and go “do you have any other unsolved cases? another story you can share with me?”

hakyeon decides if there’s one person he wouldn’t mind having a long with him for the next case - it’s you

Ken

really silly private investigator who more than anything doesn’t solve actual cases, but just finds out if spouses are cheating on each other for a good amount of money

spends most of his time in his office with his legs up on the desk playing games on his computer

has an assistant that’s always trying to clean his messes, but literally the minute ken sits down at his desk there’s gum stuck in the keyboard and coffee spilled over files

his assistants always quit like two weeks in 

and it’s when the last one quits that ken puts out an ad for another, because god help him he wouldn’t be able to do his job without someone keeping him functioning

and by functioning is reminding him to take his keys and that no, wearing the long jacket and the fedora just makes him stand out more

and you, who’s just moved to seoul and has no job prospects whatsoever, decide that an assistant job can’t be that hard

until you meet ken

who,when you first come through the door asking to speak to the person in charge, is laying under thirty newspapers taking a nap

and you have to nudge him with your foot to see if he’s awake

and ken’s like OH RiGHT ,,, i DIDNT GO HOME LAST NIGHT!!! and you’re like yikes who is this crazy dude

but then ken dusts himself off and you’re like ok he’s kinda cute not the point and you’re like “where’s ??? investigator ken???” and ken grins and points at himself and is like “speaking!!”

and you’re like holy shit ok um and you’re like “im here for the assistants job here’s my resume-” but ken is just like “no need, you’re hired.  the first weeks a trial week though so no pay, but i will take you out to a complimentary lunch~”

and you’re like um ok but why are you here shouldn’t  you be investigating cases?? and ken laughs like “oh it’s alright, i already know that all our clients are all cheating on each other i just need to get photo proof but i can do it tomorrow”

and you’re like??????? what so you don’t solve like murders

and ken is like “an have to look at dead bodies? no sirrie”

and from that moment you’re like this,,,,,,this isn’t going to be an easy (or normal) job

and it isn’t because two weeks after you work there you’re really thinking of quitting because ken is like a child, both with clients and with you always making bad jokes and slipping over the trash he has scattered

but what stops you is that ken comes through the door with his hands both in casts and you’re like ????? and he’s like “i fell down the stairs in the subway,,,,,,” and you’re like how are you going to work ??? you need to take photos ???? can you use your foot

and ken just gives you a grin,,,,a very sly grin

and you end up in his car - driving to some shady looking street - holding the camera ken is supposed to be holding and ken’s like “you see the guy coming around the corner, that’s mrs. park’s husband, now see the lady over there? that’s his lover - quick snap a photo wait not yet ok,,,,now!”

and you try to take photos but you’re like kEN WONT WE GET ARRESTED

and he’s like no no i have license but you’re like OK I DONT THO

and you see mrs. park’s husband turn and you duck, stumbling a bit and falling into ken’s lap face first

and you hear him burst out into a chuckle and you’re like hitting his thigh like DONT and he’s like sorry sorry this is just so compromised,,,

and you get what he’s implying but you’re like DO N O T even think about it

but then you try to sit back up and ken’s like “don’t, he’s still looking” and you like move a bit so your face isn’t in his lap but like your leaning your head and shoulder against his chest,,,,which is broad btw and quite,,,,,muscular,,,,

but yeah you sit there like that for a bit and ken’s like “ok we’re clear!”

and you sit back up but the client’s gone and you’re like “i don’t know if i took enough pictures-”

and ken’s just like “if you ever need to cuddle into my chest again, feel free. i’d hold you but both my arms are broken and-”

and you’re like “don’t make me break your arms AGAIN”

,,,,,,,,,but at the same time like it wasn’t ALL that bad,,,,,

Leo & Hyuk

leo is the veteran detective who has seen it all and is overworked and tired, while hyuk is the fresh blood detective who wants to pull his gun out every chance and go on high speed chases

and leo is supposed to mentor hyuk, but in reality hyuk doesn’t listen to a word he says

and leo has given up so he just let’s hyuk do whatever

but every now and then he has to hold himself back from knocking hyuk upside the head with a case file (sometimes he can’t hold himself and just. does it)

but hyuk always gets his revenge by replacing the sugar in leo’s morning coffee with salt

 which ends up with leo spitting the coffee all over himself and fellow policeman ravi and ken rolling on the floor laughing while hyuk runs for his life out of the precinct 

the two of them end up being assigned a case of a repeat jewel thief who has stolen from over five separate malls in the past month

and leo tells hyuk that no - he doesn’t need to bring a gun with him to the crime scene

but hyuk insists that the thief might still be there and leo is like yes, but we want the thief alive - but it’s too late hyuk is asking if the SWAT team will really show up and everyone’s like NO and he’s like “being a cop actually sucks”

so hyuk and leo show up to the last store that was robbed only a couple of hours before

and you’re still in the mall, wearing the stolen bracelet and watching from afar as the police scatter trying to figure out how you broke in and all that

and you just think it’s really funny,,,how hard they try and how they never get anywhere

 but you don’t notice the two new policeman, but hyuk nudges leo and shifts his eyes toward you - the sparkling bracelet on your arm only visible for a moment before it gets hidden by your jackets sleeve again

and hyuk and leo silently make an agreement,,,,but as always leo goes through with the plan hiding behind a pillar while hyuk,,,,,,,

hyuk decides that leo can go screw himself and runs straight toward you, going “hands up!”

and you, well hello you’re a thief, you get up quickly and push a trashcan over towards hyuk as you make your escape

and hyuk trip and leo screams at him for being an idiot as he chases after you

and so if leo catches you, he manages to corner you in a stairwell where the door you’ve reached is blocked

and you’re like,,,,,,,,,, trying to pretend that someone planted to bracelet on you after the robbery

but leo is watching you with narrowed eyes so you know he doesn’t believe you so you’re like “ok, fine. arrest me.” and leo does put you in handcuffs but he’s like “tell me how you managed to rob the store” and you just grin and shake your head like “uh-uh you can’t get me to talk, uncuff me and i will.”

and leo’s too seasoned of a policeman to know you’ll just sock him and run for it so instead he uncuffs one and cuffs the other to his own arm and he’s like “there, you’re practically free.” and you’re like lmao you call this free??

and he’s like “im not an idiot, but if you want both hands behind your bac-”

and you’re like fine whatever let’s walk out like this - but as leo takes a step forward you yank the cuffs and he teeters backwards with you and as he falls, you fall ontop of him

and leo is close to your face and you’re like “oops~ i didn’t mean it~” and he just,,,,well you’re close and you’re not exactly,,,,,bad to look at 

plus you’re pressed up against him and he’s like “get off” and you take a moment before you do and you don’t hesitate to notice how red he’s gone in the face

but then you also, very easily undo your cuff with the key you stole from his backpocket when you made him fall

and leo doesn’t see until he hears the ‘clink’ of the cuffs unlocking and he looks down but you’re already dashing up the stairs and laughing and you’re like

“i hope we see each other again officer-  i also left a giiiiiiiift~”

and leo is too stunned and angry, but he looks down at his wrist and sees that you slipped the bracelet onto his cuffed hand as well and he’s like HOW THE HELL

but all he’s left with is your laughters echo

and if hyuk catches you it’s because he’s still faster and more agile than you and ends up tackling you to the floor before you can escape

and as he’s arresting you, leo appears and hyuk just sticks out his tongue like he’s five like “hehe hyung i got them and you didn’t because your old and can’t run~~~” and leo is like shut it boy

back at the station hyuk and leo are questioning you about the other robberies and you’re like not interested in anything leo is saying

instead you keep making eyes at hyuk

and hyuk is kinda like,,,,,,what,,,,,because he’s oblivious until you’re like “id like to speak to officer hyuk. alone.”

and leo says something under his voice but leaves and hyuk sits down and is like “are you going to tell me how you did it?”

and you’re innocently like “did what? by the way are you single?”

and hyuk snorts like “huh, no!” and you can tell he’s lying 

because he’s still pretty young and the way you’re looking at him gets him a bit ,,,,,,hot under the collar if i may say

and you like lean over the table as much as you can and you’re like 

“officer hyuk, you’re cute. i think i know what i want to rob next.”

and hyuk is like “ah-aha! so you admit it, you did rob those places?”

and you just smile and bring your face a bit closer and you’re like

“can’t you uncuff me?~ it hurts~”

and hyuk is like “i,,,,,i can’t do that but if you sit down-”

and you’re like “i don’t want to~ i want to be closer to you.”

and hyuk swallows because,,,ok,,,,,your eyes are,,,,,,so,,,,pretty,,,but no you’re a thief. he just needs your confession

and so again he’s like “what do you mean when you say you know what you’re going to rob next?”

and you just giggle and hyuk has to fan himself because wow was your shirt this lowcut when they brought you in?

and you pull back slowly as if you’re going to sit

but then you stop and lean back in and you’re like

“i don’t steal jewelry or whatever. i only steal boys hearts~ and you’re next officer hyuk -”

and you tilt your head as if you’re going to lean up for a kiss 

and hyuk is sweating now but he pulls back and is like,,,,,,,, “officer leo will handle it from here!”

and he runs out with his hand over his mouth because,,,,,,goddammit you’re a criminal but why are you so ,,,,,,,,,,,, enticing,,,,,

Ravi 

really clumsy and easily emotional policeman who can’t work cases like murder or kidnapping because ok he’ll cry at literally anything

but it’s ok!! he doesn’t mind doing the usual responding to cats stuck in trees or loose grandmas wandering the park calls

and he’ll try to help anyone out with any problem - big or small

even though he looks intimidating and though, the whole tattoos and bright hair

he’s actual a soft guy at heart 

and some of the other policemen make fun of him a bit, but for the most part people tend to take care of him at the station because he has the best intentions 

you come in one day with your friends who is terrified because their little brother didn’t come in from school yet and it’s been two hours

and while every other policeman rushes past you and tells you to wait a moment, policeman ravi immediately pulls you both aside and asks what happened

and your friend barely manages to say something before she’s in tears, so you explain for her 

and ravi scribbles down some notes and nods along and he’s like ‘ok, let’s go to her brothers school first.’ 

and your friend wants to come, but she’s in hysterics so you tell her to wait at the station while you and policeman ravi investigate

and as you’re leaving you’re like “are you sure there’s nothing important you’re bust wi-”

and ravi waves his hand like no- there’s nothing more important than a a missing child 

and you nod because he’s right, but also like,,,,,,,are cops usually this kind??

but yeah the both of you show up at the school that says your friends brother left by himself hours ago when classes ended

and you decide there’s only two places he hangs out - the park or library so you try the library

and ravi almost turns the whole place over, even manages to knock down a display of books as he looks for the kid

and he’s so devoted that watching him makes you work even harder too

and so it’s a no in the library so you two split up to search the park when you reach it

and when you meet up ,,,,,, you light up because ravi is there,,,,, holding your friends kid brother on his shoulders 

and you’re like you found him!!!

and ravi is like “i did!! he was hiding on the playground, but i let him play with my badge and he agreed to come out!!”

and you’re like oh thank god, it’s good he’s safe!!

and you three head back to the station where you friend jumps up when she sees her brother and she’s like @ policeman ravi like how do i ever thank you

and she reaches up to kiss his cheek and ravi is like !!!! oh

but he just touches the skin and smile shyly

and you like look around but then lean up and kiss his cheek as well except this time ravi turns a bright BRIGHT red

and is like “t-t-thank you???” and you’re like no no thank you !!!! and he’s like ,,,,,still blushing

and then you remember to get the badge back from the little boy and you pin it back onto ravi’s lapel

and as you’re pinning it on he’s like “i could get used to this,,,,,”

and you’re like “,,,,hmm????”

and ravi is like OH NOTHING I SAID NOTHING

but his face betrays his feelings and you 

plus the entire damn world knows that 

Hongbin

undercover detective 

everyone believes anything he says because well,,,,look at him,,,,,could a face like that lie to you???

the answer is yes it could hongbin is not only a good detective but also a very good actor

was asked to pose as a bartender at a club where the police believed there was illegal drug activity and he’s been doing it for a couple of months now that all the regulars have become pretty well acquainted with him

is the heartthrob of the station he works at and,,,,,at the bar he works out

basically anywhere he goes people are bound to find him attractive and therefore he’s always the “most popular” on holidays

from gifts from fellow detective to gifts from the shady people who think he’s just a simple bartender

the other detectives have a joke about how hongbin won’t even need to call a bust, one of the suppliers will just gift him the drugs one day

you’re also a detective, set to go undercover with hongbin just as extra security measure 

and you’re supposed to just be like another regular who comes by the bar for drinks and stays at the end of the bar where if hongbin comes over to whisper something only you two can hear

but for the most part you don’t interact as to not bring up suspicion

until one night you and hongbin are both minding your own business, doing your jobs separately 

when one of the suspected drug dealers sits next to you and starts being unnecessarily touchy

and you’re a detective, you know how to handle this so you just reply calmly to his advances and say you need to step out for a moment

and hongbin notices and watches from the corner of his eye as you leave,,,,,,but then the guy follows you

and hongbin has always gotten a bad read on this guy but he knows he shouldn’t leave his post or he could blow his cover

,,,,but also you’re a fellow detective to he makes up some excuse about taking out the trash

and he goes outback to see the guy has pinned you to the wall and he’s about to pull him off when you push the guy off with your foot and knock him unconscious with one swing to the cheek

and as he like blacks out on the floor hongbin is like “,,,,,,,you,,,,i was worried about you but,,,,,,i guess for no reason”

and you just smile and shrug and you’re like “it’s fine, good to know you have my back - but you could have given us both away.”

and hongbin gets a bit red and he’s like youRE RIGHT but you know,,,a fellow detectives safety is much more important,,,,,

and you’re like that’s so sweet but go back in before they get suspicious

and hongbin nods as you like squat down next to the guy you knocked out and check his pulse to see if he’s alive

and hongbin inside is like,,,,,wow,,,,they’re,,,,,,,really strong about you

and tbh he can’t stop thinking about you even though they take you off the case because you did knock out one of the suspected dealers so you  can’t show yourself in that bar

but when the bust happens, hongbin is glad to see that you’re on the task force

and you two help bring down the drug smuggling business in a police raid

but as you’re hauling away all the guys the one who’d tried to hurt you calls you a choice name as you’re handcuffing him and hongbin out of nowhere ‘accidentally’ knocks his elbow into the guy’s face and you’re like

???????

and hongbin, whose never been super confrontational is like,,,,,,, “sorry, i still feel kind of bad about that night from before”

and you’re giggling like ,,,,,ok cute,,,,,don’t worry though we won in the end!!!

and hongbin is like yeah!!!! and it’s cute you’re both like kinda smiling to yourselves

but you end up smiling even more when you find out your next undercover job involves the two of you ‘pretending’ to be lovers and well,,,,,,you know,,,,,,,pretend might end up being something more hehe,,,,,

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

//siblings bein’ siblings :’)

-

boy theyre really piling on the dick with roger. and yet, it somehow feels kinda forced. not quite as goofy-forced as ‘matt swirl my brandy and show off my scratched eye engarde’ but still... 

he’s so obnoxious that i wanna hold up a hand like “chill, chill, youre the villain, you dont have to try so hard. yeesh.”

-

In spite of everything, it's still (Tr)u(cy)

-

Did Godot also ghost write the gramarye creed?? We didn't need this man 

-

I love that she's "magical girl Trucy"

-

That is a HUGE ASS SWORD. Trucy must be ripped to balance that shit with one hand 

-

(Cries) the judge bravo’d her my heart

And Apollo asks her to be careful I fhfhfhggg 

-

JUDGE! Don't call her a butt!! - Bonny: a fan of mine took some footage of the me in the show. It's kind of creepy but it might help.

Me: ok well it can't be any creepier than the normal show footage which focuses on her quite a bit anyway---

(Footage is shot from backstage)

Me: BODYGUARD. DEMAND A BODYGUARD IN UOUR NEXT CONTRACT.DO NOT PERFORM WITHOUT ONE.

-

"What a waste of time"

I know, sadmad, it is a waste of time hinting And blabbing on when the contradiction is SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS

-

To this games credit, I actually looked thru the footage to check for the edit and it's actually there. You can see the screen skip ever so slightly. I mean it's a little improbable that Trucy was still in the same position after twirling but that's a neat little detail. Not bad, SOJ, not bad at all.

- (Snerk) sexy pan up shot for mr retinz

- I know everyone loves the 'what's crackalackin homie" line but it stinks of pandering to me

It's like mr grossberg saying his hemerhoids were doing the Harlem shake. But I don't even think they were referencing the meme back then.

Also something about the way they write Nahyuta feels like the equivalent of a foreign character saying "it is-- 'ow you say..."

-

Burger barn sounds like the shittiest restaurant on earth. I wonder if it was the Ramen Ranch in the Japanese version...

-

"It's pretty long so I'll just show you the part with.." OHHH NO. We learned our lesson in dual destinies. We watch ALL the footage, damn it.

-

That must be Trucy! ... Six seconds after she runs in the opposite direction, also shown rising up into the rafters. ‘kay. Sounds legit. Prosecutor sadmad, please call me a moron and threaten more insignificant reincarnations...

-

"It threatens to disrupt the karmic course of this case" You mean it's so bullshit that you're obviously going to lose, right? It's ok, you can just come right out and say it. Nobody will mock you.

-

huh. retinz just called sadmad ‘pretty boy’

gee whiz guess theyre gay for each other now. c’mon fandom work your magic.

-

I'm starting to really not know what the victim’s last rights actually are. could you be a lil more clear on that sadmad

-

“My OBJECTION.... is NOT FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!!!”

but it sure is for mine [snicker]

also gr8 excuse there, roger

-

“every industry has its own way of doing things, just as we in the legal profession focus exclusively on evidence and testimony’

really? for some reason i thought you were more interested in The Magic Pool and The Screams of the Condemned.

-

i can see theyre trying to write sadmad funny but its just not.... funny???

even with roger’s obnoxious persona i find him funnier. his texting sprite is hilarious. he just looks so fuckin pleased with himself.

-

Lang Zi says... Nahyuta needs a different schtick.

-

( well this numbskull has a thick skin, so there )

-holds back tears-

-

phoenix, drunkenly, from the gallery: DEAD PERSON... PUNISHING SOMEONE THROUGH A SURVIVING FAMILY MEMBER..? APOLLO GEDDOWN THE FUCKIN GHOS’S ARE COMING AAAHHH

-

“not bad for a shitty soap opera twist”

yeesh, that was a very sudden bout of self-loathing from the writers.

-

poor manov. somehow i feel more sad about his death than the entirety of the victims in DD (apart from Clay that is)

i mean he was just some magician tryna make it big.

-

(sigh) they tried to do the ‘are you high’ joke again and yet they still dont understand what made it funny in the first place.

-

“Strange are the karmic threads before me...”

is that Koorahneese for ‘shit, I'm losing!!’

-

NOW I FEEL EVEN WORSE FOR MANOV

-

i love when villains do that thing where it’s obviously fucking them and a jury would haul their ass to jail in 2 seconds but since it’s the bench trial system theyre like :3c I'm not admitting to anything! I just revealed something incriminating and suspicious as fuck but since my name isn’t carved into it you cant punish me~~~

im not being sarcastic either, at this point its just funny 

-

apollo: AHH, HOW DID YOU READ MY MIND?!

roger must have assistant’s blood in him; all of them can do it 

-

ohhhh. ohhh. i think. i see how he did it. if so, shit bro; that’s fucked up. but actually a pretty good sneaky murder method, with some pretty good foreshadowing that really stuck in my mind. 

Not bad, SOJ. Not bad at all.

-

‘do you think the audience will let you get away with the twins schtick twice in a row?’

alright writers, your self deprecation is making me a little uncomfortable now.

-

i like picturing manov’s soul sitting on he judge’s head.

“could you hurry it up? I'm tired of listening to butterfly over there banging on about last rights. i just wanna see retinz get his ass kicked.”

-

wait did i completely miss something 

what the fuck is with the random tuna boat joke

did i miss a reference to it before

is it a joke on turnabout: tuna-boat ??

-

hang on. is this a half-case? 

they did this in dual destinies with the two last ones. i guess they can’t fit five full cases into a game after all... for some reason.

-

i was right! well done. thats a well written twist. anyway, most importantly:

IM STILL CRYING OVER MANOV. HE DIDNT DESERVE THIS

-

as much as i appear to like ragging on these games, i really hope the rest of the cases are as good. 

-

sadmad: you f––

writers: [shake heads vigorously and make cut-throat motions]

sadmad: ..! ..uhh... [opens up a thesaurus] dim-witted... ignorant... imbecilic?

writers: [nod and sigh in relief]

sadmad: putrid red pepper. 

-

“just some good old fashioned logic”

oh look at that they just admitted the ‘rethinking the case” mechanic is just an off brand logic rip-off.

-

wow that was the most over-the-top prosecutor breakdown I've ever seen. how did that even work? physically, i mean

maybe the soul butterfly is getting its revenge

-

NOO!!! NOT VALANT!!!

also holy shit that was one helluva hallucination. I'd like to think Magnifi was responsible from beyond the grave for one last feat in dickery. 

-

Trucy’s absolutely right and murder is 99% never justified, but Magnifi is heavily implied to be a bag of dicks. 

-

“Wow trucy, i never knew that being the best could be so tough good for your dating life’

-

“do you think I'm a naive greenhorn?” “No, she's not...”

don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing, don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing, don't use the ‘smile in spite of everything’ thing––

Ff fffffuuuuck

god dAMNIT

what is japans obsession with smiling thru shitty times??? its, like, ok to cry when you feel down, you know? its admirable to be strong in times of distress but your worth isn't based solely on how well you can pretend not to feel like shit

why not present that quick-ass thinking she did to get around Bonny’s mistake? THAT is the mark of someone who’s ready to be on stage. somebody who’s ready for any eventuality; that’s the mark of a clever performer. she kept a cool head and let the show go on; thats impressive!!!

get this shoe-horned in shit outta my face.

-

alright alright... theyre trying to have an emotional moment between siblings. ill calm down... for now.

-

Apollo: You’ve really changed Edge––– eh h I mean, Nahyuta.

Nahyuta: fuck you. 

-

trucy: you don't like to talk about your past, do you? because you always change the subject!

apollo: its not so much that i don't like to talk about it as that it’s constantly being rewritte––– 

[shotgun cocking sound from capcom]

apollo: I-ITS PARTY TIME, ITS PARTY TIME, EVERYBODY’S GETTIN DOWN BECAUSE ITS PARTY TIME

-

phoenix: you're a full fledged lawyer, apollo

apollo: aww gee thanks

phoenix: do you know the definition of full-fledged, in the bird world

apollo: uh

phoenix: it means they fly the coop. leave the nest. go to a completely different country, shall we say

apollo: ah

phoenix: just putting that out there apropos of nothing.

-

PHOENIX TALK TO YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER. CHRIST. shit. sigh.

-

apollo is now fucking dead, and living up to the title “Spirit of Justice”