#im Very Excited even if we dont do much
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no one cares (i care) but thursday is my partners birthday and i get to pursue my greatest love language: gift giving
#i took the quiz AND read the book and i was Pretty Shocked it was my LL but no one else was. so.#anyway. i love giving presents and celebrating#i bought a ton of signage from dollar tree and candles and wrapping#im Very Excited even if we dont do much#(we're going to a car meet that weekend and a concert the next for it they just dont have many events on thursdays)#tails rambles
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sea of thieves rly was like. we are delaying the tenth season soo much its gonna be soooo good you guys <33 and dropping hints for more hunters call content and then the reveal drops and its just guilds. in the year of our lord 2023 (and one more mid world event i guess. coming a month after that but initially planned to be the one thing in season 11. and also the singleplayer mode coming in on december so two months into the "season")
#can we please just get more shit to do in the ocean. for the ocean game.#youd think this would be a no brainer but i guess not!!! please give the hunters call more shit just a few more fish im begging you#they keep adding random bullshit to the game that doesnt even have to do with pirates HELLO!!! ITS A PIRATE GAME#im still thinking about. the whole 'real pirates dont steal' and 'real pirates are honorable' etc etc and calling the reapers wrong#but objectively they are the most piratey faction everyone else is just a privateer#IM GOING ON A RANT SORRY I PROMMY I LOVE THE GAME VERY MUCH#I WAS JUST SO EXCITED FOR A POSSIBLE NEW SEA MONSTER RARRGGGHHHH#instead i have just been finding out that the games story is fucked and convoluted and for some reason pirates have some form of morals#like.. idk how to explain it but its literally 'we dont do this for gold we do it for glory and we have to be nice about it'#dont care about the gold <333#SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!!!!!! I CANT FUCKING AFFORD THE SHIP PAINTS MY MAN!! WHY ARE THEY EIGHT MILLION DOUBLOONS!!!#sot#good god in heaven please grant us more ocean content soon before i go clinically insane and get put in jail amen
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its always surreal to me to see people praise s2 of centaurworld. s2 was so spectacularly bombastic and aimless and it ended in this awkward forgettable fizzle.
i feel like a dick saying it b/c i really do love the show lmao. or, at least half of it lmao (/stares at tnwk). gf and i've been thinking about rewatching it just to write out our thoughts on why s2 was such a poor follow-up to s1 - from the tone to the setup to all the worldbuilding the narrative had to offer in between the (far more) memorable songs of s1. idk. it's sad because cw really had the bones of a cult classic, but idek if you can call it that.
ive seen a few posts commenting on its lack of popularity, and i feel like it certainly deserves more, b/c i do feel like it's a novel idea made w/ love, but the shift btwn s1 and s2 wasnt just in the plot. there was a full-on *fracture* in the quality and direction and i'm still scratching my head over it. more than i should be, probably. but, it's just a bummer.
#centaurworld#centaurworld critical#<- a tag i never thought i'd use lol#ok EDIT: fuck it im tagging this maybe there are others who'll also see their own viewing experiences in this post too#dont mind me rambling#but i got an ask on my thoughts abt cw a long time ago (hi!! i still have it 😭) and ive been wanting to write a detailed response since.#debating tagging this since the fandom's already p small and i dont wanna bump the tag with negativity#even if it is (what i feel is) p fair criticism. but idk people are sensitive and conflate it w hate idk idk#ive seen thinly-veiled hate posts in the t*ngled the series tags and it's always bothered me.#bc you can tell op just like hates xyz character or the show entirely and its like can you just come out and say it LMFAOO#but i genuinely like cw. i so so very much do. so i get bummed out! gf and some other friends and i were so excited for s2 and#when it rolled out ep by ep we were like 'it'll get better right? right?'#also tempted to just draw more cw fanart in general bc the t t s fandom is slow and if half the people dont have each other blocked#theres simply 0 overlap in fave chars or interpretations so lmao#im going back to work i just feel sour LMAO#also adding that i think a lot of people conflate a story eliciting an emotional reaction from you = its good#but ill revisit that and all these thoughts again eventually in another post. we'll see.#and i STILL want a nwk tattoo lmao. or at least an elkie. gf and i love elk bc of this guy! the impact that he has!#xangoeswah
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What i think i love the most about the live action is just how much love there is? Yeah its different from the anime, but honestly....kinda better. I love how kind they all are, the strawhats clearly just love each other already, their own little family
#opla#crying screaming throwing up#i hope we do get to see more of their og personalities shine through#i.e. sanji being a bit of a hotheaded dumbass and zoro being a bit of a moron and nami being a bit more a big sister hahaha#but i love the opla strawhats so much man#i love that they highlight that sanji is inherently soft or that usopp really is charismatic or that zoro really is a snarky gay bitch lmAO#and like i ADORE opla nami#im so excited for chopper man... im watching the anime atm and he still isnt here yet ;-;#boku wa doctor tony tony chopper if you even care#god if they made everyone else hot can you imagine how hot robin will be!?!?!?#ugh....can you imagine how theyd tackle whole cake island with soft!sanji ....feelsbadman.jpg#i mean we have a LONG way to go before we even tackle the time skip....very apprehensive as yo how sanjis will be tackled bc girl...#lbr that shit was insensitive and transphobic af....#dont get me wrong....sanjis a fucking misogynist lmao....less so in the la...still there tho#god bless him...thinks hes just chilvalrous#anyway no notes on luffy he is literally perfect can do no wrong precious baby#if anything hes not as objectively stupid lol but like they only had 8 eps..you really can only squeeze in the most important shit#anyway i am screaming...dennis o'hare NEEDS to play eric the whirlwind if they utilise that shit#anywya thats my rambling for today lol
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been following you since PRE bubblegum karkat days and it’s been really nice watching you grow and heal and whenever i see you on my dash and think of your growth it reminds me of my own healing journey. i find that really nice
HAHA that was AGES ago dude. my god. i cant believe youre still around, that was like, the worst of it LOLOL weve both probably come a looong way since then, yeah. life used to be abysmal but now ive got my hubby and mother in law and were moving to nola next month so theres nothing to fear =')
#we found the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood in the perfect part of the city so#we are hoping and praying. our sickass real estate agent did a walkthru yesterday and said#'its been on the market for a while so if you put in for it youll probably get it'#very exciting news theres even a patio we can screen in EASILY for our cats#right outside our bedroom door! it would be perfect for entertaining!#were finally going to make irl friends!!!!! sdkjksdjfksd#i had a couple freak friends in phoenix and like 2 cool friends but like. mostly. freaks.#so im hoping to make real actual friends this go round cause we sure as hell didnt out here in the sticks of al#yippeeeeeeee#babe is also going to get a job so i can take a break bc ive been doing coms to support us for years now and its STRESSFUL#im gunna get to go on a small vacation and kick back like#life is so good#im so excited to rest and chill#im gunna sew!! so much stuff!!!!#maybe ill even list some on here for people to buy like i just want to make so many little dudes all the time#but i dont have the time or energy to devote to that bc making patterns takes time and materials#IDK IDK TOTALLY OFF TOPIC#i dont talk about my daily life much actually its usually just specific shit so im taking the opportunity to say.#i grew up in a VERY bleak way. brother were talking moldy food bank food house rotting both my guardians so so sick#dropped out of middle school to be a fulltime caregiver lost both of them anyway#then a bunch of falling out with my family etc etc i had NOTHING going into my twenties but a FUCKTON of trauma and mistrust#and now im heading for my thirties and i am the healthiest and happiest i have ever been in my entire life#i look great i feel great i do pretty good for myself and the people around me#i love love love my friends im t4t gay married i have a cat thats like a pokemon partner. to me. its perfect#yes weve made a lot of plans that have fallen thru and were not where we thought we would be by now#but honestly? honestly? my life is really great. were broke as fuck but we get by and we love each other and thats whats UUUUUUUP#youll get there! just keep going! you have no idea what kinds of opportunities youll be offered in your life that can change everything
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#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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hi im gonna sadpost for a bit
#talkys#down here hee hee#anyway#i keep getting really sad about like. I'm Only Getting Older. When Will I Find My Person.#but its not even in a ''older = no one will want me'' way#its more like. i want them Now. we only have so much time on this earnth i want as much time with this person as possible and im missing#out on so much of it#literally that ''i wish id met you sooner'' post. with the carly rae jepsen lyrics and everything.#i dont even Have em yet and i already wish id met em sooner#i dont even have em yet and im already wondering how i ever lived life without em. bc im living out the answer right now#and it is‚ well. very miserably. im doing very miserably without em.#im optimistically jealous of future me#while also hoping this future me is very very very soon into future me#i want to be there Now. time is being wasted right now without you‚ wherever you are#(saying this as if its ever gonna happen again + as if i wont have to go thru heartbreak 50 more times before ever MAYBE finding a good fit#but whatever. im really trying to stay in the deluded ''im excited for it to happen'' boat instead of the Get Real Lmao. If It Had Never#Happened Once It Still Wouldn't've Happened/No One Is Around or In Line to#Date You Soooooo Get Used to Another Few Decades of Nothing and No One boat. wah#anyway. sad !
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My hottest goofiest most tumblr brain take is that genuinely most if not all media would be better if it was animated
#Like idk like a lot of movies are...already animated because of the massive use of cgi we just dont call them that#And the blend of live action and cgi just looks so bad to me and it always ages badly because no one cares how bad mixed media looks if#Youre not intentionally doing it for a reason thats not just exploiting non union labor#Plus advances in technology but its also like idk#Like its never gonna look as good as a fully animated movie even if the animation aged like#Obviously im biased im a little animation guy its just like idk we do rly need more adult animation because to me its just idk the best med#And you can make some insane looking stuff with animation and keep a more cohesive tone and visual style like#Like idk you cant make live action akira to me but you could make an animated the matrix...you could even call it the animatrix hey wait#Like idk in an ideal world we would be doing animated remakes of shit instead of the other way around or no remakes obviously#Anyways i am exaggerating but also idk geniunely animation is a medium that has so much to offer and idk it just doesnt get explored in th#Way i want very often especially now as 2d animation is being phased out for 3d animation which i support but well...not when again its jus#Because its cheaper#Anyways this is all to say im excited to see just how badly live action netflix one piece crashes and burns
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Up until recently I was very confident in my identity as an aroace person. However lately all of my friends have been getting into relationships and it seems like all they want to talk about now is their romance and sexlives. We used to meet up and talk about our interests and the world and the future. Now all I hear about is dates and sex. It's not bad to be invested in your relationship and its not bad to want to confide in people about it. I would absolutely not mind talking about it but I wish it wasn't all we could talk about now. I feel lonely while I'm with people I've been friends with for years because we can't connect when we're together anymore. And maybe thats selfish of me but it's not like I don't want to talk about romance and sex at all, I just want to be able to talk about other things too.
#asexuality#aromantic#aromantism#asexual#aroace#I don't know man its just that when we hang out for 3 and a half hours and you spend 3 of them talking about your boyfriend its like#what do you want me to say about that#because i cant reciprocate with any stories of my own#and im having a hard time faking how excited i am to hear about how deep he apparently was last night#like girl i dont need to ever know that#this post is very specific to something that happened to me yesterday because i met up with an old friend who i hadnt seen in months#we used to have so much in common and we would spend hours on the phone every few days but now its like we cant talk at all#it also happened with another friend where we hung out for 6 hours and im not even joking she spend all 6 of them talking about the guy she#had a crush on#like i want to hear about your life and im fine talking about your sex life but bro#i have stuff to talk about too#and like??? how is this guy your whole life#what about your career and your hobbies and all that?#idk i think i just dont get it cause im aroace but it makes me feel lonely while im with people
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we want to start a PUNK band! not a fucking orchestra!! this is the genre of fuck around and figure it out! perfection is superficial! previous skills with an instrument are overrated!! sheet paper is fucking overrated lile let's just meet up and figure it out together!!
#the downsides of trying to start a punk band with normies:#like i love them but. i dont think they have even the slightest idea how punk works#'im still learning very slowly' i have never touched a bass in my life! and yet ill likely play that!#'im still trying to write the music for that one song' we can do that together! well figure it out! were not composers!! we just gotta DO i#a biscuit's rambles#jeeeeeesus fuck i love them i really do and im super excited abt this but currently there too much perfectionism and Do It Properly in ther#for ky liking. relax guys none of us know what were doing.
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something difficult about writing/storytelling but only in short disconnected bursts is that writing anything longform is very difficult. there isn't as much time to practice long-term character development or subtlety (implying character instead of immediately clarifying) when its not really meant to go anywhere but a notes app. its a little frustrating...i'd love to do something more longform though. i've considered maybe just doing some short writing scenes in my various original universes a lot recently mostly because i just havent had time to draw anything fancy recently </3 maybe that would be something...
#briefly talked about it with a coworker today bc i mentioned my brother makes music#and she got excited because she paints and she showed me some of her work (beautiful btw!!!)#and said she hopes he pursues music and doesnt get his heart crushed by retail like we do#we still make things but ive been thinking about it...it really is like#i feel like ive had less TIME to make things but ive also developed more interest in my own ideas#and in constructing them on their own terms. its hard to describe and even harder to share because its#not churning out fanart for a response i guess?#i dont know. i do feel more satisfied with what im planning but theres less to share#anyway i promised her i'd show her my art sometime so essentially i have to flee the country now#she does lovely work she paints pictures of pets and it seems so nice. she seems so happy with it!#its like...i love it. im a little jealous of it. i feel so much pressure to Do Something New with my art#try to craft scenes and settings (i think setting is such ann important part of storytelling but i have so much trouble drawing it!)#and try new compositions and poses and just not have everything look the same all the time#its led to a lot of work im proud of but its also hard to create under those expectations...#i wish i could find a niche and settle into it comfortably. i think fun character drawings could be that for me#but its...it frustrates me to post those because it feels like if its easy and i like doing it and how it turns out then im not trying#okay i think im done now. sorry for these rambling introspective posts lately lol im#trying to warm back up to posting so i can use this website again (despite how very very bad it is)...#i want to see my frieeeeeends <//////3 i want to be here without running away <///3
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Tomorrow I am going to buy baldurs gate as soon as I've finished work and I am BUZZING WITH EXCITEMENT
#delete later#good luck to me sleeping tonight#and i gotta write my report tomorrow but ive finished the coding part of the project#im excited#im so happy work is nearly finished for a week#and im staying home!!! im gonna eat good food and play fun games and make chainmail!#Christmas makes me so much happier when i just ignore most of it. its too overwhelming otherwise#ill probably watch the muppets christmas carol bc i love the Muppets but otherwise i honestly like treating it so casually#i think i just find big holidays so overwhelming that i need to keep things level. same as my birthday. i dread it every year#but this year it was relaxing and nice and we did one thing and otherwise it was a normal day just with gifts#living with autism is wild and learning that sticking to my routine and other regulating things even on days when#youre supposed to be spontaneous and busy is very good. it helps. and staying regulated is a high priority now that i can#actually do it and have control over my life#ANYWAY im so excited for baldurs gate 3. my flatmate has told me the things that will frustrate me which is actually very#helpful in preparing me so that i dont immediately get frustrated and upset. very excited
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If I had the freedom of not knowing there is going to be future new lore stuff added to oni I would do unspeakable things to so many of these guys. Or Id just make them normal guys who just sorta exist. Either or.
#rat rambles#oni posting#let it be known that the second we have any sort of base of scientist ari's character and job Im going to go buck wild#I'm not even the biggest ari fan but idk I've been thinking a lot abt them lately#not anything concrete for obvious reasons but still they have so much potential#like tbh I wouldnt be surprised if theyre already technically in the logs as one of the randos I know theyre klei's second favorite child#I say second favorite because we all know meep is the favorite#anyways I hope ari does smth mildly fucked up when they do inevitably become relevant I think thatd be fun#or maybe theyll just be another artifact namedrop and never be mentioned again but I doubt it#you see meep is a man of few words he only needs to be implied through one email to leave his mark#ari needs to do smth a bit fucked up and then not elaborate I think thats the most fun ari play#as in I think itd be funny if they were like involved in smth super important but it's only briefly implied in a log where theyre talking#abt smth irrelevant and unrelated#my vote is them either being involved in the employee kidnapping or being involved in the dna stealing#yknow we still dont know who the duo in bioengineering that was mentioned once are#the only potential duo I can think of would be maybe liam and ada but idk if theyd be involved in that specifically#I think they very well could have been tho and it would be kinda fun#plus it'd give us more insight as to who could hypothetically be in the know abt the inner workings of the duplicant project#because that would mean that the plant guy could also be in the know#as in it would draw the critter and plant bioengineering ppl closer to the actual duplicant stuff itself#which would make some sense for them to be aware of the dupes but the extent of that knowledge is a question that remains#but yeah other than those two I can't rly think of any duos that are both in bioengineering#like liam isnt comfirmed but he also isnt explicitly in a different department so hes still an option#banhi and bubbles cant be it since banhi is in robotics#and every other duo falls into a similar situation or are just not in bioengineering at all#its probably not that relevant of a detail but I think its fun to speculate#but yeah Im excited to learn more abt all these guys in the future as long as it's not ellie she can explode (affectionate but still)#oh also no first hand nikola second hand nikola is fine tho#oh also I hope gossmann only gets a first initial I don't wanna know her first name#itd be so heartbreaking if they walked out and declared her full name was like tiffany gossmann or smth like that
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#Jesus. just finished my interview. no idea how it went#i think it was much too rambling on my part and they asked almost exclusively sciency questions#ugh hopefully i didn't look like a completle moron. the guy was sorta inscrutable so no idea what he thought#and he was like hmm whats ur competition here? and i dont give a fuck abt competition and also it doesnt really matter#fuck. i should have said. it would b fine if they were doing the exact same project bc we would b evolving different strains and it would b#interesting if they evolved even the exact same traits. fuck#i think objectively i probably looked like someone who halfway knows what theyre doing without the specific knowledge#which is exactly true. like mother fuckers ive got a full time job to be overworked in. i dont have time to memorize details of every#pathway change in every desert cyano#uuuuugh its just annoying bc my brain doesnt work well in the moment. i need time to process and knit together an answer#so i wouldnt b surprised if i was ranked low. oh god i was told the interview was prob a formality unless it goes terribly#itll b real embarrassing if i dont get passed this stage now#whatever it was a bit chaotic on their end too bc one guy didnt show up until halfway thru so i kinda had to go back and say things twice#uuuuuuuuuuggh. well that kinda sucked. at least its done. out of my hands now.#i was getting too excited abt it anyway. this will reaffirm my: obviously im not gonna get it vibes#i mean thats what i get for trying to join a very competitive program. like i am not a competitive person#rip to my lab mate who im gonna whine at all day abt this. i have to meet him in less than an hour#welp. there r other schools. god i hope at least one of them accepts me#ugh i just think its kinda annoying they they want u to be perfectly qualified for things lol. like i would need someone to step thru the#lab process with me literally once or twice and then id be good to go#like maybe a couple hours of someones time to remind me. thats it. humans r adaptable#i can obviously carry out a project to its conclusion and i have a lot of passion. not that they asked. but yeah#oh well. i should have breakfast before i freeze in the desert all day#unrelated
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"you should absolutely go for a scholarship abroad" they dont know i spent 5 months studying abroad and during those 5 months only once did anyone that wasnt a teacher try talking to me and even she went "oh" when i said i was an international student and just. left
#hakuna matata#i had a... very weird day today.#i asked a teacher for a one on one discussion#she spent todays class talking about how we should go for a phd#and like... 'if you have a good thesis topic and your consultant endorses it and you know and are friends with every teacher etc#you should go for it!!'#which is like... cool cool.#but can i try it even if my topic is cringe my consultant barely knows what im talking about and im physically unable to talk to people?#(i asked that teacher to be my consultant because. uh. nobody else was willing or had the capacity to deal with me.)#'go study abroad its so much fun' it wasnt fun the first time. what if they send me to the wrong uni#THE WRONG TOWN AGAIN#i believe i do my best here but my spoons are limited and my interests arent high culture enough so its like im just wasting my time#i like doing this. i like being here. but nobody told me if im not super social i might as well wipe my ass with my masters degree#i did an hour long presentation on jojo and feminism. i was so excited to do it.#afterwards the only response i got was from a classmate telling me it was funny because it 'shocked the teacher'#do you even understand what im trying to do here. is everything i do a joke#i dont talk to my classmates because theyre mean and rude and they dont need me in their conversations anyway#but apparently i have to be buddies with everyone i see to get uh. a job i dont even want teaching at this uni.#i dont want to teach i dont want to talk to these people i have no idea when or how they make friends or what i want to do with my degree#im tired and frustrated and ive been crying and tearing up all day#anyway. i asked her for a one on one discussion. i need to talk to her without people that probably already make fun of me behind my back.
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i know my anxiety is irrational and comprised of previous negative experiences instead of an accurate prediction of the future bc it still tries to make me feel bad about objectively funny things that no longer even align with my morals as a person
#did i ever tell yall abt how im the reason a choir i was in couldnt post a nice video. i singlehandedly ruined it#they were recording us reacting to the big revelation of where we would be going on our choir trip next year and we were HYPED UP#or at least i was. they were dragging it out and i was super excited#finally after 3 separate speeches and like 10mins of buildup (im not kidding) they told us we were going to...#literal drum roll. a guy in the drum section of the brass band was doing a drum roll. really funny guy i remember he was cool#... toronto!! (this was very exciting i had never been to toronto and i love getting to travel anywhere new)#and everyone was reacting positively and i loudly went 'OH MY GOD' bc i was excited#now the thing is. i had been trying not to swear anymore bc i felt like i did it too much (i was deep in religion at this point in my life#(the worst thing i would ever say was hell and that felt like a slur) (i was miserable 24/7 bc i had such high standards for myself)#and the other thing is. this was a church choir. we were IN the sanctuary at the time#multiple people turned to GLARE/stare at me and istg i felt smth inside me die a little i was beyond mortified#and i know they were recording our reaction bc i saw multiple people doing it. but no video was ever posted in the end 😭#i know 100% that was my fault bc i am very loud. you could absolutely hear me on that video + nobody else had that huge reaction#anyway. in the moment i was embarrassed but nowadays its so funny considering how i and those people turned out#i didnt even go on that trip i dropped out of the choir 3mos later bc i hated it there lmao#levi.txt#and now i think the fuck word is like top five most used words in my vocabulary and im not religious anymore. character growth#im nice to people and not weirdly judgemental abt whether their choices fit my moral standards#and most importantly of all im reasonably happy these days bc i dont try to make myself act like someone im not all the time!#i cant believe my brain still pulls that memory out sometimes to try and make me feel bad bc it just. does not work anymore
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