#im actually cackling for some reason

[aquarianshift]

beatlesstory on instagram asked people to submit their beatles jokes and only 3 ppl got the assignment

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I’ve been laughing for 5 fucking minutes about Howdy just wetly slapping on the floor with a slide sound affect after emerging and everyone just staring at him really amazed yet absolutely disgusted, I’m going into orbit

behold, the Majestic Product of Metamorphosis ✨

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

i have this silly little undeveloped au in my brain that's just like. tedependent but it's the sarah jane adventures. sort of. not literally in the doctor who universe necessarily but like. local intrepid reporter trent crimm investigating weird shit except the local neighborhood kids will not leave him alone.

i have so many thoughts about this but none of them are coherent enough for a proper fic i think:

i just think trent being good with kids, generally. go mentor figure trent! (what this has nothing to do with my thesis what do you mean)

trent, like sarah jane pre-series, having a sort of reputation in the neighborhood (or in general, since i'm also incorporating his actual canon vibes/story) as to being standoffish, aloof, cold, etc., and generally anti-social, keeping to himself. and as the kids keep dragging him into things kicking and screaming he might also be dragged kicking and screaming into a community <3

if his daughter is essentially luke does that mean he adopted her under Strange Alien-Related Circumstances? absolutely it does, yes.

see i've got two great ideas for ted/tedependent. on one hand, although in the context of SJA/nuwho i'm not so much one for sarah jane and the doctor as a Thing, ted playing the role of like. someone from trent's Mysterious Past who he won't talk about who set him on this path? someone who was kind and wonderful and changed his life but then--at least it feels like to him--abandoned him? someone who made him a better person--from doing whatever journalism he used to do to this--someone who he's still kinda in love with... but trent can no longer even really talk to......until he shows up again? that's some good shit, not gonna lie. although i'm jimmying that into a happy ending somehow, goddamn it.

ALTERNATIVELY. henry being one of the Neighborhood Kids (as if we're using "canon" kids, we've got limited options) and ted being an oblivious parent. trent is trying to get these kids to STOP POKING INTO DANGEROUS ALIEN NONSENSE PLEASE THIS IS HIS JOB PLEASE STOP BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE but they're stubborn and smart and they may or may not have saved his life once or twice and oh GOD THIS IS SO IRRESPONSIBLE but he can't just TELL THESE RANDOM NEIGHBORS about ALIENS. but like anyway this just painful secret identity-esque nonsense where ted knows henry's taken a shine to that nice journalist down the street and his daughter but does NOT know that henry is getting into Shenanigans(TM). this could lead into all sorts of drama about, you know, his kid being in danger... or, alternatively, ted has worked with some unit/torchwood-esque place before and is like OHH you know what? this explains that time i thought i heard you speaking an alien language. cool, cool. and trents like. .....WHAT

etc. i'm not wording this well but i think you get the idea.

if you really really wanted to make it complicated you could do both, considering the doctor's whole thing--either a fob watch or a regeneration--but honestly, i don't want to do that, so i won't

some of the adults do definitely get involved though. keeley either clocks that shit right away or thinks she's clocked it but she's actually clocked something entirely different. she's like i know you're mi6 babe ;) and he. is not. meanwhile roy having ten freakouts in a row and then being like nvm i'm fine with this. (is not fine with this, but will be eventually). jamies like yeah aliens. everyone knows about those. and they're like what?? no they dont?? and so on.

is beard an alien? genuinely no one's sure. he's not telling.

HOLD ON can i give trent k-9???? can trent crimm get a robot dog?????? yes please i think he deserves a robot dog

also see the trickster episodes? bet you could do something real fucked up with those.

i feel like i had more when i started this post but i don't remember

this not well thought out at all and i have no idea where everyone would fit in

anyway my point is. trent crimm, intrepid journalist, running around trying to stop alien shenanigans while Those Meddling Kids keep following him around. trent crimm doin a little Breaking And Entering. scooby doo shit. and he has such an interesting mix of seeming suave and badass and then immediately doing something embarrassing. trent crimm--via shenanigans and also Those Meddling Kids dragging him into their lives (aka he tries to keep his distance SO badly and only is involved when dangerous shit is going down but like then it's all. child knocking on his door like IT'S AN EMERGENCY OPEN UP and hes like WHAT WHAT IS IT and theyre like can you help me with my homework :( and hes like. fuck. yeah fine what do you want help with. (some subjects he's very helpful on others he's VERY not) until they're like okay but you're coming to this bbq right. and he's like? no? and they're like you're coming to this bbq right. and so on) ANYWAY the point is they keep dragging him into their lives and now oops! trent actually knows his neighbors and has to go through the mortifying ordeal of being known. but that also means that when he gets badly hurt or sick he's used to the empty hospital room but now he actually gets people showing up and forcing baked goods on him and shit and i'm just feeling a lot of things about this extremely hypothetical au based on my already existing feelings about trent gaining a community in s3/post-canon,

wait does this mean trent gets sonic lipstick? HELL YEAH IT DOES

[unknownarmageddon]

daily hozier!!!

YEAHH lesgo dude

[scullys-scalpel]

That buc-ees post has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. And if you know Buc-ees, ya know 😂

[wain-wright]

code geass r3!!

[bonchobrick]

So I’ve seen some posts going around about a ‘Bruce adopts Danny and everyone thinks they’ll finally have a normal family member—Danny is very not normal’ and here’s my late night take on it.

Or

Danny batfam au where they batfam tries really hard to keep their vigilante ass-kicking nightlife a secret from danny because he is ‘the only normal one in the family’ this becomes a problem however when danny gets kidnapped.

——-

The batfam all work together in a deeply serious family meeting to save their boy. After hours of combining their brains together they come up with a plan that will effectively save danny from joker, kick joker’s ass, and also make them look really cool while doing it.

So they bust in that warehouse, guns blazing, explosions fading in the background, a gust of dramatic dust covers the air

Batman steps infront of the rest of the team and demands to the blurry figure somewhere in the distance, “Where is Danny!”

The dust clears–they expect bad guys pointing weapons meancingly at them, they expect a cackle of a wicked clown amused at whatever plot he had planned coming to life, they expected a terrified boy perhaps tied somewhere likely siting in a chair that joker could present to the bats as a way of taunting them.

The dust settles–they observed their surroundings looking around and realize that, there are few new facts to be added into this ‘defeat the villain, get the bro, happy ending equation’

There is decidedly no weapons being pointed at them: In fact, all of the henchmen are already knocked out and tied up.

There is decidedly no evil laughs being echoed their way: In fact, the only noise that isnt coming from them is a light scritch scratch of a pencil

And there is decidedly no terrified little boy, there is a Danny however and he seems to be doing alright–actually scratch that.

Danny is doing wonders for the situation he’s in right now: In fact–

–Danny is sitting criss cross applesauce on-top a knocked out tied up Joker doing his algebra homework

The small blue eyed boy looks up at Batman's voice and visibly brightens, “Oh hey guys, I was wondering when you’d show up.”

Jason says with the utmost of comprehension, “...what.”

“So hi, I’m kinda new to gotham so sorry about beating these guys up, I think they’re villains? I dunno, anyways if you could take care of these guys while I call an uber home that’d be great.”

Danny sends them a blinding smile which would've been adorable if there weren’t a massive pile of bodies he were casually walking away from.

As Danny nears the exit he looks over his shoulder to the baffled group of vigilantes and blinks

“Oh yeah one last thing,” Danny rubs the back of his neck nervously, “Could you guys not tell the Waynes about this.”

Damian speaks up for the rest of his frozen family, albeit hesitantly, “I do think they have already been alerted of your kidnapping.”

“Oh no that's fine.” Danny starts nervously, “It's more about me being the… fighter… in this situation. I was just adopted by them and they seem really nice, I don’t want to scare them away being all grrrr im a scary monster boy and i love to hurt people argh.”

“I don’t think they’d think you're a monster.” Tim adds quietly

“Eh, tell that to my birth parents–they went psycho on me. Like evil scientist psycho, it was not as awesome as the movies make it sound, having scientists for parents.” Danny says bittersweet as he admits with a shrug

There is a moment of silence as the batfamily reevaluate the adoption file that states Danny’s family before they passed were very good people–albeit a bit excentric.

Dick blurts out, “Where did you learn to fight?”

Danny sends him an anxious chuckle, “I actually started when I was fourteen–my town always ran into some trouble so I had to step up. It’s part of the reason I moved here actually. I really don’t want anything to do with that hero vigilante life anymore…” The boy puts his hands together in a pleading motion, “So please don’t tell The Waynes!”

Bewildered at the situation as a whole they nod in a daze

The boys eyes widen at their easy agreement and he grins, “Thank you so so much! I’ve got to go now, it’s way past my curfew. but you’ll probably see me again next time I get kidnapped–I’ll make sure to put in a good word for you guys with my family bye!”

And just like that Danny slips off into the night leaving behind a family who were so sure they finally found a normal addition to their pack.

Jason sighs looking forlornly at the spot Danny had previously been standing, “You could just never pick the just semi-mentally healthy normal kids could you?”

Bruce groans pinching his the bridge of his nose

[izunx]

7:59PM

Ran accompanied you on the way home from a wretched day of work. your endless yapping plagued his ear.

“baby, please”

you cocked your head up towards your husband and your face instantly morphed into one of disgust.

“please what?”

“shhhhh” he brought his slender finger up to your lips.

you were too baffled to even speak, that was until you did.

“nope, I don’t think you’re talking to me, try again”

ran returned that same face of disgust and pinched your lips shut together.

“I am talking to you, mrs”

you imitated the sound of incorrect buzzing. this got him to laugh.

“you’re so childish-”

“no way the manchild is calling me childish.”

continuing to walk, he grabbed your purse and held it for you. he flashed you a boyish grin, the same one you’ve known since forever.

“a manchild wouldn’t do this,”

and that silenced you. you resorted to admiring his sharp features reflecting the intimate pink of the setting, autumn sky.

rummaging through your purse, he whipped out your plumping gloss.

“want me to help you put it on?” you smiled with wicked intent casted all over your face.

“what is it?”

“it’s lip balm, you need some anyways”

he struck a look of annoyance at you and retaliated by flicking your forehead.

“whatever, I don’t need your stinky help.”

as grown as your husband likes acting, he was a child at heart — he expressed it endlessly when he was with you, which was one of the multitude of reasons he wifed you.

using the wand to apply the plumping gloss, he slapped his lips together in satisfaction, throwing it back in your purse.

and he was satisfied. satisfied before his face instantly was mutilated into one of horror.

“why’s it burning, y/n”

you let out an ugly cackle in the middle of the relatively quiet road. you smacked his back and tears had been brought to your eyes.

“you’re laughing and my lips are being burned off right in front of your eyes?”

he attempted to lick it off, but it just started tingling his tongue instead.

“I swear I’m never touching your stuff again”

he started violently rubbing the sticky substance off his mouth and spat at you.

“RAN. that’s disgusting”

“yeah this burning on my lips is also disgusting.”

despite his state, he enjoyed seeing you laughing because of him. even when you’ve had such a bad day at work. he’d burn down the world if it meant you could laugh like that. but he’d never let you know that.

“want me to kiss it better?” you mocked him.

“yeah, I do actually”

and that caught you off guard.

“gosh, I always have to baby you”

reguardless, you put your hands on his chest and gently placed your lips on his.

whilst it was a quick kiss, your lips immediately healed his.

“damn maybe I’ll put some more on”

“you’ll get my kisses either way” you giggled at his determination.

to that, he smiled brightly - and only for you. grabbing your waist to steal more from you.

stop this was so fun to write — also just a little quick brain dump im writing like 3 different stories rn tho..

[vingvks]

I’ve never done this before so be easy on me 😾

Also- sorry for any grammar mistakes or wrong use of words.

Manjiro is the legal age in this.

Edited!

Shameless ⚠️ (not too shameless actually because I can’t fucking say the word cock for some reason.)

You have a desk in your room because I said so

Top male reader x Kanto manji manjiro sano

The room that was once quiet, occasional groans escaping in which Manjio sloppily undressed whatever clothing was in the way, along with you doing the same. Was now filled with moans, cursing and the frequent sound of flesh smacking together profusely.

“Ah-… Oh- fuck!” Manjiro muttered under his breath, feeling you so swiftly thrust inside. “Take your goddamn time…” he whispered, slight harshness in his tone. His body stiff as he holds back a gasp, feeling you start to thrust he tenses up. “I’ll do what I want, Manjiro.” You replied in result with a quiet scoff. “Your so loose…” You muttered, he glared at the desk in response. “Don’t provoke me.” He replied bitterly, Biting back a whimper as he felt your teeth sink into his right shoulder blade. Gripping the end of the desk under him. He roughly closed his eyes, the feeling of pleasure was distracting enough for his mind to become foggy.

He could feel the cold desk pressed against his skin. Along with your hips pressed into him while you held his waist firmly, smoothly and swiftly pulling his waist down so he could feel each thrust. Embarrassment filled with shame turns the tips of his ears red, as if he hasn’t sinned the same way multiple times with you.

For the notorious kanto manji leader, it was out of character for him to be bent over somebody’s desk, his hair a mess along with his cheeks and ears flushed.

Mikey had developed a lust for power that started to become uncontrollable, due to dark impulse. He was quite relieved to be put in a submissive position in fact. After everything that happen with Tokyo manji gang and kanto manji he needed a breather. Just some sex to relieve this stress, and the upcoming stress he knew was bound to become reality.

Manjiro gets most of what he wants regardless. Sex doesn’t make a difference in that. It didn’t make a difference if he was submissive if nobody was aware of that. Right? So fuck it.

He trembled violently that he was sure he’d end up shaking the desk. At the feeling of your pants and cold zipper gently poking against his thigh, he slightly leans up before you push his stomach back onto the desk. The warm room and feeling was different than the feeling of your cold zipper, sending chills down his spine. He could feel relentless pleasure being sent from the feeling of you hitting against his prostate meanwhile you could feeling the endless feeling his soft insides swallowing you hole. “Your moaning like a bitch, so sweet..” You spoke, before he could retort he feels your hand slip around his throat. He immediately bites back his salty response.

From your perspective.. all you could focus on was the shorter boy that was currently bent over a desk in your room while stretching his arms out to hold the other end of the desk with an almost weak trembling grip, your hand around his neck that he doesn’t protest against. His hands were staring to grip that he held to the point his hands were hurting. He was sure of the moment he let go he’d completely break.

The only thing refraining him and keeping him on edge was his grip on your desk. Your thrust turn into pounds. Drool threatening to spill from his mouth as he grips tighter, unsure if he’ll be able to walk for the next few days. “Ahh… slow down- Im- I-!” His words becoming incoherent.

“Fuckfuckfuckkk- ha! pleasee!~”

He whined, the most pathetic mewl escaping his lips as your hand around his neck tightens, he rolls his head back for more air and you cackle at his advances. Although Manjiro wasn’t even sure what he was begging for. Did he want more? Or less? He couldn’t think straight. Not with you inside of him. The way you were manhandling his hips down into you was almost insulting to his pride. Pulling him down only so he could you hit exactly into his prostate. A sloppy yet fast pace.

Along with his his own gang uniform being all over the place, his pants and boxers below his knees, his shirt laid out somewhere on the floor. His upper body revealed showing his toned body and muscles while his jacket was hanged on a coat hanger near the front door.

Manjiro’s thick blonde hair that was usually tied up in a way was now free and messy yet it looked so beautiful and addictive to look at,

Your shirt off with your pants on still but the zipper all the way down, enough for you pound roughly into Manjiro while he slowly melted in your hands. Desperate whines and pretty moans escaping him every time your fast pace hit his prostate.

“Oh my-! fuckk! Mm-“ Manjiro mumbled. Then like a leap of faith Manjiro finally let one of his hands slip away from the desk in order to hold his mouth. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted you to hear the noises that were bound to escape him.

In the meanwhile you were softly yet loudly moaning and occasionally groaning while staring at Mikey’s hair, his hair was oddly alluring. His moans like honey to your ear before you concentration was broken by him muffling the sounds escaping.

“Now that’s not fair is it?” You asked firmly. Leaving Manjiro confused before his heart dropped hearing your next words. “I wanna hear how much of a mess I make you, Manjiro Sano.” You whispered before grabbing both his arms and holding them in one hand tightly, his body to weak to free himself from your grip therefore all he could do was cry out to you.

“Ah fuckk~” He whined, his body slowly growing more weak and tired. His stamina was still high, just as much as his body was high form the pleasure being sent. “I won’t Ugh-Please, I won’t do that again-“ he spoke out in a struggled tone referring to his restrained arms from your grip while his strength is weakening, he was beyond desperate for you to free his arms and let him grip onto something again. He

His mind growing foggy as small drool escaped his lips he grit his teeth in response. He hated being in a weak position or being weak in general but this wasn’t something he could have control over. You’d be the only one to ever bend him over this way.

Your body pressing against him from behind was making him go into a frenzy, feeling your pants and zipper slightly rubbing against his skin every pound made him feel like he was on fire but in heaven at the same time, the way you both felt was unexplainable but you both loved it just as much.

Apparently Manjiro’s begging only made things worse for him as your grip tightened. By now Manjiro was nothing but a whimpering moaning mess, his moans progressively becoming more vocal and whiny than he wanted you to hear.

He could feel his stomach get tight followed along with his face heating up.. he could tell he was close just by the way you were starting to drive him more insane than he already is.

Manjiro whined again with a small groan feeling his member twitch, his moans mixing with yours filled the rest of the empty room. You could feel yourself being overwhelmed with pleasure knowing that you were close and so was he, A quiet grunt escaping you as you sped up your pace before speaking up.

“Good.. you’re close aren’t you, correct Manjiro?”

You teased him speeding up your pace. Making sure to cautiously pull out in the last second making sure he came before you did so.

“I’m!- im gonna-mm ohh~ fuck- yes!- yes-!”

….

The one and only kanto manji leader, bent over your desk trembling and panting quickly and loudly while your both tried to catch your breath. Your sperm leaking from his thighs and his sperm underneath the desk and floor.

He breathed out quickly and deeply gritting his teeth from embarrassment at the big mess he, along with you made, small scratch marks on the desk and small drool on his lips. He whimpered softly before wiping away the drool left on his bottom lip.

He could practically see the grin on your face without even looking. Dull yet sharp black eyes glared at the desk as if he was glaring at you. “Your so loud..” You said with a tone that almost seemed as if mocking. He bit his lip, holding onto his pride. With whatever voice was left he could muster up, Manjiro spoke “Ugh.. next time use a fucking condom..”

Embarrassed at the fact he knew you’d be in the shower with him for the next thirty minutes trying to clean up in an awkward silence for him while you just hummed peacefully as usual. The way he wished he could skip that part to eating curry in the living room with you.

…

[azzibuckets]

For the Love of the Game [Pazzi | Part 2/10]

paige bueckers x azzi fudd

summary: tensions between paige and azzi grow

a/n: im still tryna set the scene for all the fake dating stuff to take place, so bear with me. we will get there very soon!

word count: 1.5k

masterlist w/ part 1

Paige might not like Azzi, but she knew basketball, and she could appreciate the fellow guard’s precision and dedication when it came to the sport. It was the first practice of the season, and Paige watched from the sidelines as Azzi sank yet another 3 under Geno’s approving watch.

“Baller, huh?” Caroline wiped her neck with a towel, her gaze following Azzi’s movements.

Paige made a noise of agreement. “Her shooting mechanics are flawless.” She took a swig from her water bottle, swishing the cool liquid around in her mouth before swallowing.

“Paige? Complimenting Azzi? Never thought I’d live to see the day,” Nika chuckled from behind them.

This piqued Caroline’s interest. “Why? Do you guys have beef or something?”

“No,” Paige replied shortly, tossing a glare to Nika behind Caroline’s back. Nika just grinned. “We’re just…not best friends.”

“Paige freaked when she found out that Azzi chose UConn,” Nika informed Caroline slyly. “I think she’s jealous that Azzi’s so good that she’ll outshine her.”

Paige scoffed. “That’s the most untrue statement I’ve ever heard.” Although Nika’s reasoning would’ve held some substance a few years back, it meant nothing to Paige now. She was secure if her position on the team. She was the first freshman to win the Associated Press National Player of the Year, for Christ’s sake. No, her friction with Azzi was inexplicable, a result of the uneasy, tumbling feeling that drummed in her chest every time she saw her. Bad vibes, you could say.

“What’s untrue?” Azzi was next to them now. She used the bottom of her shirt to wipe sweat from her upper lip. Paige saw a flash of Azzi’s abdomen, flexing and taut, before her shirt dropped. She looked away, trying to ignore the buzzing feeling in her chest.

Nika looped an arm through Caroline’s. As the walked away past Azzi, Nika whispered in her ear, “Paige thinks you’re a hell of a player.” The two girls cackled as they left. Devilish duo, Paige thought.

Azzi’s eyebrows shot up, and she turned to study Paige’s face. “Oh, really?” She said, a smirk faint on her lips. Paige’s cheeks flushed, and she looked away without replying, embarrassed. “Can’t look me in the eye and say something nice at the same time?” Azzi stepped forward. “I’m starting to think I make you nervous, Bueckers.” Azzi was close now, so close that Paige could grab her waist if she wanted to. Not that she wanted to. But she could. If she wanted to.

Paige moved back, their proximity becoming too much for her to bear. “Your already big head would actually explode if you heard a compliment from me,” she derided.

Hurt flashed through Azzi’s eyes, but she quickly covered it up with a mask of indifference. “What’s your problem?” she asked coolly.

“Paige!”

The two looked to the left to see Geno impatiently waiting, tapping his pen against his clipboard. Without so much as a glance at Azzi, Paige brushed past her, knocking her shoulder as she walked past.

————————

“Maybe she’s on her period.”

Azzi was so tired she couldn’t even muster a laugh at Amari’s joke. “She’s always been like this. A total bitch.”

Amari rubbed her forehead. “It’s so weird,” she said thoughtfully. “Paige is so nice to everyone else. You sure you didn’t accidentally steal her girl or something?”

Azzi sent Amari a death glare. “For the twentieth time, I don’t like girls, Amari.”

Amari shrugged, giving her an amused look. “That’s what they all say,” she crooned in a sing song voice. Azzi affectionately rolled her eyes and gave her friend a gentle push.

Bueckers aside, Azzi loved UConn so far. Her teammates were the funniest people she’d ever met, and her fellow freshmen kept her sane. She was ready to win a national championship, to follow in the footsteps of legends like Breanna Stewart and Sue Bird.

The two girls sat in silence, with Amari typing away at her phone. “Speak of the devil,” Amari said. She looked up from her phone and gave Azzi an apologetic smile. “Looks like Nika and Paige are drooping by right now. Geno sent them to show us to the trainers’ room and get us started on recovery.”

Azzi groaned. The last thing she wanted was to go back to Werth. Practice had taken a toll on her - the team ran lines after every practice, which would be okay if Geno would just give them a set number. But no, Geno the sadist made them run until he felt like telling them to stop, and today he didn’t feel like telling them to stop for an entire half hour. Azzi’s legs felt like they were about to fall off.

“If I see the court, I think I might throw up,” Azzi whined.

Amari grinned, jumping up and offering a hand to help Azzi up. “Well they’re helping us get started on recovery, so it might help. Just try not to kill Paige in the process please.”

“You should tell her that,” Azzi grumbled.

The two freshmen met the two sophomores outside their dorm building. “Can you believe we used to live in this lowly place?” Nika nudged Paige, staring at the dorms.

“It was literally like a month ago,” Paige responded dryly.

“And now we’ve upgraded to our fine apartment,” Nika boasted. “The dorms are so ghetto. If you freshmen ever wanna escape this hell hole, feel free to come over.”

Azzi would definitely not take up Nika on that offer. If Paige saw her in her apartment, she might actually have a seizure, she thought.

The four fell into step, making their way back to Werth for the second time that day. Azzi didn’t know how, but she ended up on the very side, next to Paige. As they walked, their fingers brushed, and Azzi yanked her hand away as if it was on fire.

“Goddamn, I don’t bite,” Paige grinned, enjoying the uncomfortable reaction she got out of Azzi from something as simple as their hands brushing.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did,” Azzi shot back. “You’re like one of those little chihuahuas. They look harmless but they’re actually freaks with huge incisors.”

“Hey, I love chihuahuas,” Nika protested, but her words fell on deaf ears.

“Are you serious right now?” Paige’s glare was deadly. “I bet if you were a dog you’d be one of those ratty white ones with the eye boogers.”

Azzi gasped at that. Her reaction became even more enraged when Amari, who was supposed to be on her side, burst out laughing. She hit her friend on her neck. “Why are you laughing? It’s not fucking funny.”

Amari wiped at tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “She’s kinda right, Az. I could totally imagine you as one of those dogs.”

Paige beamed, a triumphant smile taking over her face. This was the happiest Azzi had ever seen Paige around her, and she was unsure of what to do with herself. They weren’t seriously fighting, like they always do, but were light heartedly bickering, the closest the two had ever gotten to getting along. It felt weird, but also…nice?

But any positive feelings quickly disappeared later on during the tour.

After recovery, they had somehow made their way back into the court. Someone had picked up a basketball, and before they knew it, they were playing a game of 2v2. Azzi was exhausted, but she loved spontaneous moments like this, where she was with a group of people who loved basketball so much they couldn’t help but play whenever given the chance.

It was Nika and Azzi on one team, Amari and Paige on the other. Azzi had the ball, driving it down, with Paige guarding her, when she stepped back and hit a jumper from mid range.

“That was an offensive,” Paige gasped, her hands on her knees as the ball fell smoothly through the net and bounced to the floor.

“How was that a foul?” Azzi furrowed her eyebrows as she fought to catch her breath too.

“You pushed into my torso,” Paige argued.

Azzi rose her eyebrows, insulted by Paige’s claim. “Are you blind? What’s wrong, Paige? Can’t accept the fact that you can’t guard me?”

Her words must have hit Paige’s sensitive spot, because the blonde’s expression turned from mildly annoyed to angry. “No, it’s the fact that you can’t shoot a mid ranger without getting the ball turned over. These are basic foundations of basketball, Fudd. You’re playing college ball now. It’s time to grow up.” Paige was all up in her face now, her cheeks red. Azzi wasn’t sure if it was from the exertion or from her frustration.

Noise roared in her ears. Her heart pumped furiously, and she felt blood rush to her head. Her biggest pet peeve were people like Paige, who were so arrogant that they had their heads stuck miles up their asses. “Back the fuck off, Bueckers.” They were in a staring contest now, heaving into each other’s faces. Azzi’s fists were clenched at her side, gripping so hard that the ends of her fingers were turning white.

Paige was the first one to step back, but she maintained eye contact as she did so. “Just because I complimented you once,” Paige gritted out. “Doesn’t mean you’re suddenly a perfect player. Get a grip.”

Azzi scoffed in disbelief. “Believe it or not, your opinion doesn’t matter to me, Paige. My life doesn’t revolve around one compliment you gave me. I know whenever I fuck up, but I also know that that was nowhere near an offensive.”

“Okay, I think we need to calm down.” Nika finally intervened, pushing the two of them apart. “It’s just pick-up. Both of you are overreacting.”

Azzi turned away, rolling her bottom lip between her teeth. At this point, all she wanted to do was go home. Paige’s face was the last thing she wanted to see. Thankfully, Amari tugged Azzi’s hand. “Come in, Az,” she whispered. “Let’s go.”

[ohbo-ohno]

happy new year's eve @luminousbeings-crudematter, here's another version of the purge au (4k) that i forgot i finished in the process of trying to get the first one done lol

(also when i said "it's essentially the same thing but with different smut" i meant... no smut. i didn't post this one bc i couldn't figure out what to do with the smut. but this has some kidnapping and overall rough creepiness!)

cw: noncon touching, kidnapping, graphic murder, blood & violence, unedited bc im lazy

The soles of your feet burn against the hot asphalt, even though the sun’s been set for hours. The flames roaring from the burning high school alongside you are enough to heat the ground, enough to leave you wincing with every step and trying your best to walk on your toes.

You’re not sure if the wetness on your cheeks is tears or blood, or some sick combination of both. You’d wipe it off to see, but your hands are covered in red, and you don’t want to smear it across your face.

It’s impossible not to flinch at the sudden sound of cackling laughter, some indeterminate distance away but clear as a bell. The laugh cuts off abruptly, followed by a high-pitched scream that makes you wince. You speed up as much as you can, breath shuddering in your chest. You feel a few tears slip down your cheeks, just adding to the tacky mixture already covering your face.

The street is crowded with Purgers, people wearing all sorts of different gear to make themselves seem as terrifying as possible. You’d feel lacking in your black pants and shirt, if you wanted any attention like them. Instead you pray that whoever’s looking for fun won’t focus on you, that you’ll disappear with so many other distractions out tonight.

The sound of a chainsaw revving makes you shudder, and you tuck your arms close to your chest. 

You can’t believe you were stupid enough to come out on Purge night, but there’s no use dwelling on that now, not when you’re still blocks away from home with absolutely no way to defend yourself.

You should’ve known your friend - your now very dead friend - didn’t have good intentions. She’d invited you out with her to vandalize your most recent ex’s house, and like an idiot you’d agreed and walked yourself right into a trap. Your only defense is that you’d had a few drinks before leaving your perfectly safe apartment, in hopes of forgetting all the screams you’d hear outside. It’s the only reason you can think that you were so quick to agree when you’ve got absolutely no way of defending yourself.

Her blood is still wet on your hands. You don’t feel bad about her death, and that makes you feel sick. You’d never thought you’d be the kind of person to actually partake in the Purge, let alone kill during it, but here you are - stumbling home covered in blood with two deaths on your hands. The fact that it was self-defense isn’t nearly as much of a comfort as you need to make your heart beat less erratically, to make the blood stop burning against your skin.

The quick flashes of their deaths won’t stop playing on repeat in your mind - you would’ve died if you’d been any less lucky, and you doubt your piece of shit ex would have made it quick. 

If you hadn’t caught them together - your friend fucking him in the bed you used to sleep in, that fucking bitch - you might not have had the anger necessary to kill them. Might not have had the rage, the energy, to stab them both until they stopped screaming.

Your arms already ache from the force you’d used. You can’t stop seeing your friend’s face, torn to shreds beneath you, blood splattering up onto your own face and neck while your ex’s corpse cooled beside you. You’re not sure if you’re hearing her screams still, or if someone nearby is suffering just like she had.

The only thing you can bring yourself to regret is leaving behind the knife. It would come in handy now, as you walk alone down one of the poorest neighborhoods in your city.

It would come in especially handy as a hand grabs your shoulder, yanking you to the side and into an alleyway, shoving you against rough bricks and ignoring your yelp.

“Well, well, look’it you…” the man drawls, his face hidden by a bright red skull and a black hood covering the rest of his head. “Wha’s a bonnie lass like you doin’ out tonight, all alone?”

You can’t speak, heart thudding painfully at your ribcage as you blink up at him. He’s all you can see, just a bright red skull floating in place.

“Please,” you manage to gasp, hands shakily raised in front of your chest.

“Please? Please what?” His words are sharp, almost bitten off, and he leans closer. “Haven’t even threatened ye yet, pretty thing. What’re you beggin’ for?”

You whimper as he leans closer, hardly inches away from your face, and a loud boom from somewhere nearby shakes the wall at your back. You still can’t tell if it’s blood or tears dripping down your face. You jump at the sound, and your chest hits his. Before you can move back, his hands are on your shoulders, keeping you pressed to him.

“Oh, did that scare you?” He coos, patronizing and mean. “You a little scaredy cat, all alone and afraid?”

You sob, hands pushing at his chest, and he makes a sound somewhere between a hum and a laugh, pushes you against the wall without pulling even an inch away.

“No, no, you’re not goin’ anywhere. ‘S not safe out there for you, kitty. It was so easy to grab you, you want someone else to get a hold of you? They won’t be as nice as me, I can tell you that.” 

“Get- get off!”

He laughs, loud and rough, right in your face. “Oh, I’ll be gettin’ off, kitty. Might take some teamwork, huh? A good way to get to know my new friend-”

He cuts himself off with a sharp Oh! as your knee jerks up into his crotch, the man doubling over in pain and groaning as his head comes to rest against the wall by your face. You barely have enough sense left in you to duck out of his way before his body goes limp against the wall, hand cupping your target.

“Fuckin’ bitch,” you hear him hiss, right before you stumble away, legs weak as you put all your energy into not tripping over your own feet. Your only thought is getting out of the alley, even though being more exposed is probably riskier than just taking your chances with the man in the red skull. Still, there’s some instinct at the back of your mind telling you go, run, and you’re not stupid enough to ignore it.

You hardly make it five steps away before you hit a wall - no, not a wall, a person. 

It’s almost comical, the way you bounce off of him and stumble backwards, losing your balance on weak knees and sending yourself straight to the ground. He’s a monolith above you, a massive figure clothed in all black, the light from the flames behind him almost making him glow. He’s all black cloth and white mask, a skull hovering well past six feet in the air.

The sight of him makes your heart stutter, brings everything into acute focus around you, slowing the world down to a near stop. That same instinct at the back of your mind tells you this man is worse than the last, that you should’ve taken your chances with the red skull. 

You’re jerked back and to the side, shoved roughly against the brick wall. Your face scrunches up at the rough texture against your cheek, your torso flush against the wall and the first man flush against your back. You manage to open one eye and track the new man, your other forced shut from the way your head is angled.

The white skull tilts, and its wearer steps closer. You can’t help the small cry you let out, the way you flinch back into the first man like he’ll do anything but expose you more. His hands are rough on you, one hand locked around the back of your neck and the other harsh on your hip.

The body behind you laughs, push further into the wall regardless of the stinging pain as the white skull steps closer. He stops hardly a foot away, when your vision is eclipsed by only him. You try to struggle against the hands holding you, whimpering when they dig in more harshly.

“You got her?” A voice asks, and it takes a minute for you to realize it’s the new man in front of you.

“Yeah,” the first man pants, holding you close and alleviating some of the pressure against your cheek. “Woulda caught her without you, y’know. She just caught me off guard.”

The white skull rumbles low in his chest, a rejection. You’re not sure if he’s got faith in your ability to escape, or doesn’t trust his partner’s ability to chase. He’s close enough that you can only see the black of his chest, close enough that you can watch him breathe.

“I’m sure. You got a good hold on her?”

The hands squeeze, you can’t help but make a sound disturbingly close to a squeal, and- “Yeah, course, got her tight to me, Ghost. She’s not goin’ anywhere.” There’s an air of desperation in Red’s voice, a strained tension underlying every word. He’s almost eager, but it’s all directed towards the man in front of you - Ghost - instead of towards the prospect of hurting you.

Ghost doesn’t respond, but he steps close enough to press his chest against your shoulder. The three of you are all less than a foot apart, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to get away. Another tear slips down your cheek.

You can feel Red’s chest heaving behind you, and at first you can’t understand why - he hasn’t had to chase you, hasn’t had to fight, there’s no reason for him to be out of breath.

It hits you when you feel the hard plastic of his mask press into the top of your head. He’s eager, and it’s making him pant like a dog. You’d bet he’s drooling behind the mask and the thought makes you shiver.

You flinch when a gloved hand cups your chin, tugging your face up so you’re staring into the eye sockets of the mask.

His eyes are dark brown, so dark that you almost can’t see them past the shadows and the paint over his skin. The flames roar behind him, giving him a monstrous glow.

“Pretty thing,” he hums, chest rumbling against your side. You try to push away from him, but there’s nowhere to go. “You’re gonna be our little toy for the night. Things’ll get worse for you if you try to run. You hearin’ me?”

It’s pure instinct to nod, to give this man what he wants, but you know you’ll still try to run the second they look away. 

“Alright then. Let’s get you home. Johnny,” the man steps away, jerking his head in clear instruction for Johnny to follow and turning away. “Come.”

“Right behind ye,” Red - Johnny - assures, that same eagerness in his tone as he tugs you away from the wall, trotting behind his partner. “It’s gonna be a great night, lass. You and I are gonna have fun.”

You can’t help but whimper at that, letting your body go nearly limp as the man drags you by the elbow. You can’t even fathom the horrors they’ve got in store for you, what fun is to two men hunting for lone girls on Purge night. 

You try to let your feet drag, but they hurt too much for that to last long. You consider going limp, making them carry you, but you’re too scared that they’ll just drag you across the concrete and let you bleed. 

You only manage to keep up with Johnny because he doesn’t give you another choice. You’re practically hobbling from the pain in your feet, forced to walk on the balls of your feet and lean your weight into his hand where it’s wrapped tight around your arm. He doesn’t give you any slack, doesn’t even seem to notice when you struggle to match his pace.

The three of you have walked several blocks - you can’t quite focus enough to count - keeping to the sides of buildings and dodging other people, when you’re tackled to the ground out of nowhere.

It’s impossible to stop the blood-curdling shriek from leaving your throat. Your bare arms feel torn to shreds as you slide across the ground, head bouncing off the ground and leaving you with black spots dancing across your vision.

You’re hardly able to blink, body alight with pain, and the heavy weight over you only serves to make your panic worse. You moan as you roll your neck, staring wide-eyed up at the dark sky and praying the ringing in your ears isn’t permanent.

Your vision is just starting to clear when the man on top of you - and he’s definitely a man, he’s not even wearing a mask and his expression is mean and you find yourself glad you can’t hear what he’s saying - jerks back, his head pulled back until all you can see is his bared throat. 

You can hardly even register what’s happening in the next few seconds. Some distant, detached part of you can recognize that someone slits the man’s throat, that his blood comes gushing out and covers your face.

The first sound you can hear again is your own screaming - it’s an ear splitting sound that melts from the ringing in your ears. When you gasp underneath the man, the corpse, you can feel his blood falling into your mouth. Every breath tastes like iron, and the world is tinted pink from the drops of it falling from your brows.

You can do nothing but pant and shake when the corpse is thrown off of you, replaced immediately by Johnny. You can hardly focus on him, are only really aware enough to know he’s there.

“Hush, bonnie, yer fine,” he scolds, one big hand coming up to cover your mouth, pinky and ring finger holding your jaw shut. “Wanna draw people over? Ye wanna see me and Ghost kill someone else for you, ‘s that it?”

You shake your head on instinct, tears running down your temples, dampening your hair. Your chest aches with the force of your breaths, nose congested from all the crying. 

“Then hush,” he hisses, face so close that you can feel the breaths from his nostrils. You flinch at the loud sound of gunshots disturbingly nearby, desperately pushing against his body to try and see what’s going on. You can hear grunts and moans, the sound of something heavy hitting the ground, and your heart races.

Then, the sounds stop. It doesn’t go silent - not with other Purgers still out, still killing - but the area you’re trapped in is quiet again. Johnny drops a little more of his weight onto you, making it even harder to breathe. 

You have to focus on every breath, deliberately making sure you get enough air so that your lungs stop aching. You only notice the movement on top of you after nearly a minute of slow breathing.

Johnny’s hips grind slow and steady against your stomach, and it makes you sick to realize you can feel his erection through his pants. His chest rises and falls with harsh breaths, and his movements are just harsh enough to force your body to move with his.

There’s absolutely nothing you can do about it. Not with shock settling in, his weight holding you pinned to the ground, and the pain in your head shifting to something closer to a migraine. All you can do is focus on your breathing and stare up at the stars.

“Johnny,” Ghost eventually calls, and you can hear him kick what you can only assume to be a corpse out of the way. You can’t help but whimper when he crouches nearby, his boots splattered with blood. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Need-” Johnny gasps, hips stuttering against you before working even more quickly. “Needed to feel her, fuck, Ghost, she’s so fuckin’ soft. Can’t wait to be inside, to fuck her full, feel her squeeze-”

You whine against the hand over your mouth, trying to pull your face away from his grip and only succeeding in dragging your sensitive head across the harsh concrete.

“You’re gonna fuck her out here, where anyone can see? Doubt you’ll be able to keep her safe when you’re pussydrunk.”

Johnny moans above you, dropping more of his weight on each thrust. “Tha’s why you’re here, yeah? To keep me and the lass safe?”

Ghost grunts, fisting a hand in the strip of hair left revealed by Johnny’s mask. “Don’t be a fuckin’ brat, Johnny. You know I don’t have to do shit for you - either of you. Maybe I want to see my mutt get all defensive, growlin’ over his girl. You ever think about that?”

The whine that slips from Johnny’s throat is nothing less than pathetic, his pace becoming uneven as his eyes screw shut behind the mask. “C’mon, Ghost, I’m close, just let me… just watch for another minute, yeah?”

The scoff from Ghost is mean, and even you feel the absurd desire to try and placate the man. He stands abruptly, stepping away from where you’re pinned and leaving you staring at the cooling corpse of a man you don’t recognize.

“You do whatever you want, puppy. Stay here and get yourself off or behave and heel. You know what you’ll get either way.”

You can’t help but furrow your eyebrows as Johnny hisses out shit above you, hips working desperately against you for a few long moments before he drops his entire body weight onto you, knocking the air out of you.

“Okay,” he whispers, seemingly to himself. “Okay, alright, it’s fine. It’s fine.”

He pulls himself away from you with a long oan, pushing up until there’s no place the two of you are touching but you’re still entirely caged in by him. He takes his hand off your mouth to hold himself up and you wince at the string of blood between his hand and your lips.

“Not gonna fuck ye yet, kitty,” he tells you, staring into your eyes with an intensity you don’t quite know what to do with. “Ghost’ll make the both of us regret it, and ye don’t deserve that on your first night home.”

You hardly manage to bite back a whimper. “Please…”

His eyes crease, like he’s smiling beneath the mask. “God, yer so scared, aren’t ye? I can fucking taste it in the air, kitty. It’s delicious. Cannae fuckin’ wait to have you on my tongue.” You shudder, eyes dropping to his neck when his gaze becomes too heavy.

He forces you to stand before you’re ready, leaving you to lean on him if only to avoid crumbling to the ground like a ragdoll. You ite your tongue against a sob at the sight of three corpses around you, a twisted sense of appreciation and disgust warring in your mind.

Johnny herds you like a dog, pushing you by the small of your back and your shoulders as he tries to catch back up with his partner. You’re left stumbling in front of him, unsure and terrified, not quite strong enough to think running away would be a good idea. It doesn’t take long for you to spot Ghost’s large back on the street in front of you, and a part of you resents the fact that he’s already so recognizable. 

He’s an overeager shadow, unable to decide if he wants to tug you forward or chase you from behind. He ends up almost circling you, shifting from your back to your side to your front and back again, always moving, always rushing. It leaves you unstable and nervous, unable to predict what he'll do next.

Chills run down your spine at the thought of this man… taking you. If you’re this terrified of him fully clothed, you’re loath to think of how you’ll react when he gets you where he wants you.

The two of you only manage to catch up to Ghost because he stops for a cigarette. His pale jaw is exposed when he tugs the mask up enough, and you try your best to memorize the scars covering his face, telling yourself that you’ll remember him, that you’ll never let him near you again once this night is over.

The look he sends Johnny is approving, the look he sends you is distinctly smug. It makes your teeth grind, makes you really wish you still had that knife so you could lurch forward, thrust the blade into the solid center of him and twist, pull out again and aim a little higher, then again, then again, then again-

“Made your choice, then?”

“Yes, sir. Wanna be good.”

Ghost hums, flicking the butt of his cig then dropping it to the ground, the cherry still glowing. “Settin’ a good example for your girl, huh? That’s my boy.”

The sound Johnny makes is animalistic, and despite the harsh grip he’s got on your arm you try to lean as far away as possible. There’s a building energy under his skin, a twitch in his fingers, that unnerves the animal part of your brain in ways Ghost doesn’t. 

“‘Course. Gonna teach her how to be good, too, gonna keep her perfect for us.”

Ghost is completely stoic with the mask tugged back over his face, nothing but his heavy gaze as he stares you down. It’s hard not to jerk away from Johnny and run, no matter how futile you know the effort would be. 

He reaches out a big, gloved hand towards your face, moving quickly enough that you can’t fully flinch away and hide your face in your shoulder or chest. His thumb strokes across your cheekbone, smearing the sticky mess of liquid across your face and huffing a sound just loud enough for you to hear.

“Cat got your tongue, girl?” He rumbles, a faint note of something in his voice lost in the sounds of anarchy behind you.

You try to shake your head, unable to manage anything more than a, “Please.”

Johnny scoffs beside you, wrapping both of his massive arms around your shoulders and holding you close. “Broken record, this one. Hasn’t said much else since we nicked her.”

“That’s alright,” Ghost rumbles, give Johnny one firm stroke over his mohawk. “I’m sure you’ll drag all sorts of pretty sounds out of her tonight. Now, let’s get goin’. Don’t want your little toy gettin’ her nerve up and earnin’ herself a punishment so early in the night. Come, now.”

Johnny laughs, loud and harsh as he tugs you to follow him and Ghost. You know you should be upset about what he’s said, know he should be doing exactly what he warns against and try to get away.

But you’ve got no energy left to fight. Everything hurts, your system is overrun by fear and just the tiniest drop of adrenaline, and your best chance of making it through this night is passing out and forgetting any of it ever happened.  

A few tears, stragglers, drip down your cheeks when Johnny tugs you beside him. The places his fingertips squeeze against your arm have gone numb, and your feet feel like they’re on fire. Your arms are sluggishly bleeding and you’re not convinced you don’t have a concussion.

It’s hard to hold back sobs when you think of how much worse it’s going to get. Staring at the broad back of Ghost, feeling the feral energy of Johnny hardly contained by your side, all you can hope is that they let you survive the night.

You close your eyes as Johnny guides you, take a deep, steadying breath, and pray for your own strength. You tell yourself that maybe next year you can seek them out, find them at the very start of the Purge and get your revenge.

It’s a comforting enough daydream to lessen the aches of your body, to shine a spot of light after the hurricane of your future. 

[carlos-in-glasses]

Thank you for the tags lovely @thisbuildinghasfeelings @sznofthesticks @paperstorm @strandnreyes and @welcometololaland 🧡

It's autumn in BJ fic, and boyfriends TK and Carlos are at the carnival 🎈🚗:

There aren’t many people in the bumper car line. To Carlos’ surprise they are offered a car each rather than one to share. The idea of buzzing around the graphite track and chasing each other is too hilarious to pass up. Carlos, who has been part of many high-speed car chases down actual roadways within his day-to-day work, is certainly more adept and elegant at handling his smart red vehicle. TK, who learned to drive only recently after leaving New York, isn’t adept so much as scrappy and enthusiastic. He zips along the track in a bright orange car like a fireball, terrorising everyone. Carlos loses their game of chicken, swerving just in time while TK air-punches and lets out a loud, “Woo!” as if he’s going to win some kind of rosette. For some reason, four teenage girls occupying two cars each decide to take TK on as an opponent. Carlos gives him the finger when he calls over: “Okay – now I’ve got some real competition!”

Carlos can’t steer his car for laughing at TK virtually being run off the road by four screaming high schoolers. A girl at the helm of a green car has impressive technique – they could use her at the APD.

The next thing TK shouts at Carlos is, “Baby, help?”

At the plea, Carlos springs into action. He completes a bumper car three-point-turn and zooms after the girls in the green car. They shriek as he makes chase and collides hard into them, simultaneously blocking the girls in the blue car from hitting TK.

“You’ve had it, Grandpa!” one of the girls cackles at him.

“Grandpa?” Carlos yelps, “I’m twenty-six! Alright–”

Triumphant, he charges towards the girls again, but it’s the exact moment their timeslot runs out and he slowly and pathetically drifts towards them at shuffle-speed – and now TK is holding his ribs, wheeze-laughing.

“It was the look–” TK hiccups and wipes his eyes as they struggle out of their cars, “The look of determination on your face and then you were so confused.” He falls against Carlos, completely losing it.

Open tag and tags below

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @goodways @lemonlyman-dotcom @reyesstrand @herefortarlos @bonheur-cafe @alrightbuckaroo @rmd-writes @orchidscript @theghostofashton @three-drink-amy @fitzherbertssmolder @whatsintheboxmh @ladytessa74 @liminalmemories21 @noxsoulmate @lightningboltreader @fallout-mars @my-little-tilly @literateowl @louis-ii-reyes-strand @carlos-tk @never-blooms @heartstringsduet @safeaswrites @kiwichaeng @inkweedandlizards @vineofroses @wandering-night19 @freneticfloetry @honeybee-taskforce @sanjuwrites @sugdenlovesdingle @chicgeekgirl89 - if you want to share/haven't already! With no pressure ever! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

[neonhellscape]

okay its no secret i dont buy into marazhai being the persona he puts on. so as i've officially met him in game now, im making a list of all the in-game reasons i think he's a bit of an idiot [which i love btw. i find him far more compelling if he's a bit stupid/weird and he's trying so hard not to be but you just know nobody in commorragh is inviting him to parties]

the very first time you get a glance of him on a rooftop and. 'deal with this' "of course" proceeds to just walk off like 3 seconds after the other two

ambushes you. has you cornered. is in optimal position to kick your ass frankly, high ground and better weapons and utilising shock against you. ...he bitches at you for a while, gets insulted, then runs off into the forest with a maniacal cackle

heinrix fired a mild insult [considering what he's like to everyone else its barely an insult] and he took big enough issue with it to start saying how he'll break him and turn him into a pet. oh sure dude you're responding super well to this mild comment from the guy who accidentally insults everyone and their entire ancestral line at some point

i think it says something that he's learned to speak your language fluently too. that Has to be some kind of Yikes moment to admit publicly in drukhari culture. buried family secret great great grandfather drukhari-georg learned to speak mon keigh and now we claim he just spoke oddly because was shot in the head as a child to prevent the shame

he also knows the mon keigh lore that says youre a super special little guy as rogue trader and actually LISTENS to the fact you're the special little guy as rogue trader. and he does treat you as more equal/with more respect than the other characters. thats not just a drukhari culture yikes thats what gets you checked for a concussion or brain damage

literally socially atrocious enough its believed he's working with you [read: with you. not using you, not manipulating, cooperating. this is a big difference i feel] and only he himself doesnt believe it

ignore the fact he eventually DOES work with you which. is its own follow up statement

challenges you to fight him, to give chase then and there. i made him wait while i went through english government simulator where i queued for multiple days, did multiple day/week voidship trips back and forth, got distracted by accidentally starting jae's romance, pasqal telling me to servitorise her, getting blackout drunk with her, shipwide broadcast tm, giving her a voidship, her getting me a space cat, attacked by pirates, dealt with a plague, explored a few extra systems.......................

he destroys your palace. ...its rebuilt effectively within a week. most of the damage is in bodies which are just sent to the poor district to rot [almost feels worse than the damage done good job imperium]

the throne has claw marks. he could've blown it up or shot it or piled corpses on it but no he wanted to sit on the fancy chair and so turned into a common housecat mauling the sofa arm

how long was he just sitting there lounging on that chair? again see how long i kept him waiting. he was just sitting there trying to find a comfy position on this [for him] kinda small chair JUST so he could briefly taunt, break your window with his space motorbike, jump off the chair in a dramatic [but not gunna lie not that impressive] feat of gymnastics, then fly out. he doesnt even shoot at you as he leaves

i will continue my list as i see more that entertain me

[deepwithintheabyss]

abyss I need Slade doing the am I the asshole but with his relationship with Dick. And he’s like “his father is younger than me. And disapproves. Problematic? Also my boyfriend is 23 and pregnant. Thanks.”

Tim would obviously find the account and flip his shit

This had me cackling, very specific request. (fuck how old is Slade again?), also this would probably be something he gets advised for going to the relationships thread (okay not anymore after I edited my first idea) (I'm talking like I know and use reddit xD I just see some screenshots)

fullfilled the first part of the prompt but not the second, hope you're happy anyways

AITA threatening to whisk my partner away after his father threatened to make us break up?

I'm gonna be frank, I only am writing this because my boyfriend thinks it's a funny idea.

Aparently the fact that I was a teenager while my partners adopted father was just a child is one of the man's main concerns and he tries to bring it up ever single time we see each other. If it's not that it's about my job and what I do and the rules he tries to impose upon me for being "part of the family now" or when I'm in his home city.

I think he's being unreasonable and needlessly concerned. It's not like the he is much older than my partner, age-wise they're more like brothers than father and son (not to mention that the whole family relationships are a mess anyway, I swear they change it every few months just to fuck with me)

After he learned my partner was pregnant he threatened me with several bodily harm and a promise to ensure that I would never be able to touch my partner again or be able to come near him, much less see my child. He even tried to imply that he would try to convince my partner to abort but we are all aware that my partner wants to have children and wouldn't listen to such a request. (Also the Bastard is weak for children as well so that was most likely a bluff to begin with).

Upon this I told him that if he even tried to seperate me and my partner I would flee the country and move somewhere where even the bastard wouldn't be able to find us.

He took this very seriously and got even more problematic, instead of backing down (not that that was to be expected). His... there is no good word to describe that person, my partners adopted grandparent disapproved of my choice of words and tried to tell me I was very out of line for it.

I do not think I am in the wrong whatsoever, nor does my partner. We are both allowed to do what we want with our own lives and I think it would actually be helpful if my partner left the controlling clutches of his father, at least for long enough to raise our child.

While the rest of the family is a bit wary of me it is for very different reasons and no one else has opposed our relationship yet. (Ignoring my partners youngest brother but that's more childish jealousy from suddenly having to share my partners attention with me.)

So am I the asshole for threatening to distance myself and my partner from his adoptive father until he learns to calm down about our relationship?

-

lillypads98 WAit wait wait wait we need more information, you are how old??? and you think it's just okay to be together with your patner? and whats up with the fmaily anyway??? hello is no one questioning this??

TforTimeSpentThinkingAboutSpleens lmao if this is who i think it is and i dont think im wrong then im going to make sure all the others see this too also i would NEVER let him vanish like that nice try

neoforhero NTA for sure, sounds like your partners father has some serious control issues, while I think you might have reacted a bit extreme it seems to be something that has been building up for a while. (He tries to control your behaviour when you enter the city??? Who does he think he is? Fricking Batman?

[butmakeitgayblog]

I would like to run over Lexa, resurrect her, kiss her better and run over her again.

She loved (loves) you for fuck sake, she told you that and you broke up with her?!

Listen.

I know she had reasons, and I know Clarke is not entirely innocent here (even though until now she's just a babe but I trust you), but I would be so furious if I was Clarke when Lexa will eventually confess her feelings.

Can you imagine feeling not enough for someone you love? To know to be not enough because even though you are indeed soulmates, the person you are sure to be THE one, broke up with you? And you know why, or maybe you think you do, but she's still rejected you.

I'm so mad.

I know Lexa comes from a place of survival instinct and pain, but I'm so furious.

SHE TOLD HER SHE LOVES HER.

SHE SHOWS YOU THAT.

I'm... I'm so sad for the both of them, but because I was once in Clarke shoes, it's so sad I want to hug her.

In most of the ff Lexa is the one portrait as tough and still fragile, strong and delicate, but to observe Clarke being put aside (I know they still keep seeing each other, and being cute to each other and loving but it's... Not... You know? Enough?).

And to marry someone that you know, you KNOW is not the one for you but you do it anyway because you gave up on your soulmate, you chose the second best option... I really wanna run over Lexa.

I want to hug her really tight and punch her with love until she understands.

And then I want to hug Clarke and push their faces together while I whisper "And now... Kith... AND STAY TOGETHER OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL HUNT YOU DOWN."

Sorry.

My doctor would be a little bit disappointed about my heart rate right now.

I read this 3 times cackling 😭 (not the part about you, that im very sorry for and I'm sorry you can relate 😔 if you ever wanna send asks aboit Clarke's perspective you can! It help balance this out a bit because so far everything has been filtered through Lexa's pov)

Listen these are all valid things to feel. Lexa is very stupid in some ways, but those ways are indeed born out of insecurity and problems with accepting her self-worth.

I do want to point tho, just as a possible way to kind of... console the anger we all feel here, Clarke was not at all alone in how much she threw herself into this relationship. Lexa absolutely, 100%, just melted herself into Clarke. This 19 year old kid went from having no stability beyond her own work ethic, and no one who she felt cared about her, to having this sarcastic, mouthy, and genuinely weird little blonde lady who was very pretty and very much in love with her. And she did devote herself and her time and every ounce of her disgustingly robust affections to Clarke whenever they were together. Lexa forgot the world just to be near her, because that was obviously the only place she was meant to be.

But that was the problem.

Just how much she actually devoted herself and her time to Clarke became the problem. I mean it did more than that, there are other thoughts and emotions and insecurities at play that Lexa will word-vomit out eventually, bUT the crux of it all came down to her not having the emotional maturity to know how to balance a love that big, along with everything else.

But she never stopped loving Clarke. Not once. And while, no, she wasn't entirely truthful with Clarke or herself about what kind of love for years, and while it certainly wasn't "enough" (i know, for lack of a better word here), it was still incredibly palpable to anyone around her. It was tangible and demonstrative enough that it kept Clarke right there with her for almost a decade. It was intense enough and blatant enough that Costia gave up even trying to compete in under a year. There is just no questioning it when they're together. Everyone sees it pretty much immediately: Lexa is head over heels in love with that girl.

And that was the thing... Clarke saw it too. She felt it every single day.

She's just kinda stupid too 🥴

So I hear you, I do. Breathe lol. Check the pulse bby it's ok I promise. Just distract yourself with thoughts of them married with lil Griffin babies that Lexa cooks up herself simply because she loves Clarke that much

[accio-victuuri]

Sugar Rush: September CPNs 🍬🍭

The month of BXGs had some very exciting candies! Let’s review them together ^^ Same disclaimer applies. Only for CPN-loving bxgs. If you hate this kind of thing, please spare yourself the pain and scroll along.

• Similarity between Shengyang & Yibo ( when what you love becomes a career )

• Same brand = Covernat

• Them being the Sun 🧡

• WYB’s Pechoin Ad spotted in an episode of SBMS

I really have a lot of feelings with the Shengyang x Chen Shuo AU pairing. They are so perfect together!

I mean….. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

• There is something about the similarities between shengyang & yibo in the way that they look at the person they care about the most that gets me. it’s this whole “puppy” devotion they got going on. an innocent kind of love.

the kind where you look at the person’s reaction first when something happens, you wanna see them happy before you enjoy what’s in front of you. even if they don’t talk, you carefully observe their body language cause you wanna figure out how to help them and show them that you’re on their side. ☀️

• In a BTS released by One & Only, they showed some wardrobe and looks for Chen Shuo. This one is him wearing a black helmet instead of red. Did you see the peppa pig sticker? and i can’t make out the other one. What a coincidence, considering the CQL crew’s “history” with peppa pig 😂😂😂

• Not really CPN, but to archive this incident where cpfs commented WYB photos on ZZ’s douyin post. This reminds me of that 95 post on weibo, where it was all cpf, then 🍤 of course did the most to “erase” that. but that comment section has so many interactions. I’m 50/50 on this, I think it’s unnecessary to do it, knowing full well that it will “provoke” a fan war and i personally don’t want that. The other half of me tho is cackling cause cpfs surely know how to troll. My fave tho are photo comments of cute fandom dolls 🥺🥺🥺

• One and Only top box office in Chongqing on 9/4

• Summary of SBMS clowning material from 9/1 to 9/5 ☀️

• Similarity in WYB & XZ selfies ( vintage motorcycle gear )

• XZ’s mystery driver, and was it WYB?

• INNER MONGOLIA MYSTERY : I’m naming it as such because it’s truly a mystery as of writing. There’s been some rumors already that LOCH & Mermaid will have scenes shot in IM. XZ tho is confirmed to be there. The cast and crew were spotted and XZ is not exactly hiding it either, his IP is there.

What makes it sus is a video captured that is allegedly of the hotel entrance where XZ stays. It’s too dark to see who he is with but some cpfs are saying you can see someone who is like WYB going in too w/ XZ. the way the person walks tho is so WYB as far as I can tell. And the most sus thing is the hotel closed all the lights in the lobby. Who the fuck does that. Yeah I know XZ is VIP and they will do everything to protect him and make sure no photos of him will be taken. But to actually close all the lights??? There must be something more… probably another VIP guest????

and well this.. whatever this is… it’s not covering with umbrellas anymore, it had come to this kind of hiding already. and how they were hiding who was coming in and. there were 2 people. so yeah. 👀

again, i am including this here to archive but i’m not fond of them being followed around like that. just leave them alone to work in peace. 🙃 we should be more focused on their projects and not act like paps. understand the reason why there are proxy shooters is because there is an audience.

the most sus thing do, is come monday, the black cloth and all the cover up was not done anymore. So it makes you think that they were really trying to hide something in those days they used it. 🤡

• SBMS clowning series version 2 / version 3 / version 4 / version 5 / version 6

• Hangzhou Asian Games power couple 🔥🔥🔥

• THEM and Li Qin as leading lady 😂😂😂

• Their long hair! Please bring it back for both please and thank you ☺️☺️☺️

and the fact that GG is absolutely glowing in the photo. We’ve been speculating that WYB visited him, so is this the result????

• YIBO-Official 9th debut anniversary debut clowning: who folded the shirt // 2019 memories, new? black panther drawing and day&night selfies // XZ signed the artwork + the pose is inspired by yibo

• Edited background in yibo’s selfie + Why we think this was taken in Inner Mongolia

• Couple autograph !!!!

• RIO becomes cpf’s friend lol

• Love is like this / Fireworks

• The timing of their posts ( an example )

• This is so funny!!!! Now that we have a glimpse of Wei Ruolai, he is being paired to Xiao Sa — who we know is Mister Ye’s. So it’s now a love triangle 😂

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

• bracelet & hand cpn - i don’t personally buy into this cpn but a huge chunk of the fandom were talking about it so i’m including it

• XZS Vlog Chapter 6 candies: ZZ & WYB similarity in XZS vlog + xzs and ybo are working together again & salomon shoes & mosaic design + panda rumor

• Matching Mid Autumn festival post ; Also how WYB’s look like there is a Mole. ☺️

There are also talks of the photo being taken from a proper camera, the most popular guess being a leica. I guess how YBO reposted this and said something like how Bobo is a “photographer” clued people in. But it could be because he posted an artsy photo like this instead of a selfie. 📷

—— END ——

See you all next month! 💕🍬