#im am on my last straw

[orangechickenpillow]

Might sacrifice my soul to the devil so I can write something that I actually like again, idk we'll see how the rest of the week goes

[hi-speedroids]

i dont care what anyone has to say i had fun making this so emmmm

kagamine yugo cus i say so (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[astrobei]

every time i watch another episode of hannibal i think they’ve hit their peak of homoerotic insanity and then i watch the next episode and i think they’ve hit their peak of homoerotic insanity and then i watch the next episode and

[starjunkyard]

A scene of foreman telling house in ep21 s8 that "persevering through pain for loved ones... isn't that what life is?" before being followed up by a scene of house screaming at taub in the middle of the hospital hallway that life is pain. Life is pain. His entire life is pain. How he wakes up everyday and thinks about ending it. And yet hes still fucking here and what is that if not a confirmation that house's entire life is lived for wilson

Its so like. Because from an outsider's perspective its so childish. Its so out of bounds though thats completely in character for house; you don't tell people whether they should live or die, least of all if they're diagnosed with a terminal illness you know will suck the life out of them every second they aren't in the ground. You don't get to tell people that you dont have that right but. But. but

House is here and house is in pain. He's hurting and he's been hurting and he wants that to end but its been an unspoken agreement for years that wilson would never forgive house if he just gave up. Wilson would never let him do that. He would never ever forgive house for that not ever

So house is here!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is alive!!!!!!!!!!!! Because wilson is his best friend and house cannot live in a world where wilson hates him even if he isnt around to feel it. So house persevered through the pain he grit his teeth and just kept fucking Going because wilson hating him is a worse fate than any infarcture any perpeptual state of chronic pain, a fate worse than anything

Before stacy before cuddy before everything it was new orleans and wilson in that cell. House has been living for wilson. House's entire life past the infarcture and the pain and the pain and the pain has been for wilson. He has been living in unimaginable pain for 20 years because its been an unspoken agreement that i need you i want you you need me you want me. I need you here you cant go anywhere You cant leave me

20 years of being in a perpeptual unending state of chronic pain. Years of living under this unspoken agreement, being bound to this contract that keeps you screaming keeps you hurting keeps you gutted and emptied out but you never minded it, you never left. you let it take you because you love him. Because you love him he loves you and he lets you love him and thats enough

So can you imagine what a slap in the face it is to have him tell you outright that he wont live for you.

That his life, his death: it'll be about him. All this whilst your entire life has belonged to him. Your life your death everything you've ever done its been about him for him. For him. And you feel furious and cheated to tears because its then that you realise he never even asked. You gave it to him handed your bleeding beating heart warm and fresh to him on a silver fucking platter and he never even asked for it. But you're asking him now. You're actually asking him you're begging him, you are begging him you're telling him that you love him, and he's saying no? He's saying no?

Can you even begin to imagine-- just a fraction of that betrayal? That humiliation? I've fucking grit my teeth weathered 20 years of pain i stayed alive because i knew that you wanted me to-- because i knew that you loved me and you wanted me to stay, and that was fine, because i loved you too. And i never even made you say it. I never made you say the words because i thought it was something we both understood intrensically, down to the bone-- and still im telling you now that i need you that i love you and now the deal's just off?

I weathered through 20 years of pain because surely you would have done the same for me-- and you're telling me now that your life is going to be lived on your own terms? when my entire life has been lived for you? When ive been in hell for 20 years just so i could keep loving you? You; you looked at me in the eyes, led me on had the gall to keep me alive-- just to sit here now and tell me that the agreement ive lived my whole life around was a one-man deal? That you cant be bothered to stick your heels in the dirt a little, grit your teeth and go through a quarter fraction of the hell ive gone through so that you stay here! can be here Be Here and keep continuing to love me when ive been doing that wordlessly thanklessly for 20 years? How could you make me ask? How could you tell me no?

How could you keep me alive and breathing if you knew that this was even remotely in the realm of possibility? You kept me in the dark-- knew this whole time that leaving this friendship could actually be an option for you-- and you kept me alive?

[wyverncult]

working on studying maxim's design :]

[thelastsaiyanprincess]

the anger is now turning into resentment

[raisans-art]

More dancing hermits?

I will fucking lose it if anyone brings up HermitCraft to me ever again.

[pepper-steam-milkshake]

alright now that my tenth fucking millionth crisis of the day has passed can i PLEASE have a break

[hi-speedroids]

banana boys

I did not make all of this i drew the yugo and the sheath and the line art for Len and some of the rendering and sore (bayblaid) was made by @zon3dout and I edited the background

this is really stupid but :3

[spiked-mall-goth]

guys just when i thought it could get no worse. my only remaining vcr croaked mid october and ATE MY COPY OF THE GREAT PUMPKIN!!!!!!!!!

[butterflybabiie]

spilled hummus on my bed i'm burning this place to the ground

[mjvnivsbrvtvs]

hey what's up everyone it's been a hot minute. one might even say it's been over a year! things are good, I left this account on a melodramatic downward spiral of despair and tbqh it's like. whatever, you know!

anyway, I always meant to come back to update this space, so this is me doing that. I'm in other places now! you can send me a message/ask off anon over at @erceldounes if you want to know where.

take care everyone! have a good day, eat good food, etc!

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

can I just. shriek. over the way smoothies are marketed so strongly as for weight loss and how oh no we should not put one (1) gram of sugar in it because we MiGhT gEt FaT because I'm just. I'm here looking this stuff up as a way to trick my silly little brain into eating more. I do not need this to be any harder than it already is

[pianostarinwonderland]

lowkey wondering rn, am i a clown for liking the latest Disney merch xDD like ok I can't deny that the outfits could have been better in terms of their colors. That particular shade of white doesn't suit Riddle very well. Somehow Leona wears it better, but you know that it could also be better. Something more customized and personalized like even just a splash of color would be so nice. But otherwise, I like the art style, it's cute on them. I'm kinda sad that everywhere I go, I see people not liking it, and then I'm like "soo... am I crazy for liking it?" 😭 maybe i'm truly a twst apologist first and foremost, Azul apologist second kekw but yeah personally I find it cute, and I really can't wait to see how the other dorm leaders (read: Azul) look like~

[naturalbornlosers]

its been a long week. pass the house of leaves

[pepprs]

ok actually yeah. i really need to do dishes and go to bed and not stay up late mentalillnessposting a little too viscerally on tumblr the night before i facilitate a workshop in front of the literal president of the university and the vp of my division (LOL about that btw. actively shitting my pants.) but oh my GOD. so saying goodbye to lia was actually fine in the moment. neither of us cried and we talked about all the ways we’ll still be in each others lives and reasons we’ll have to interact in the near future. and she gave me an extremely heartfelt thoughtful gift and we left on a very hopeful note and i felt better and content bc there’s still the rest-of-life and we’ll see each other there. but like an hour before that as i mentioned i was HYSTERICALLY sobbing. in full view of people i know AND people i don’t. and i just sat there and sobbed while everything carried on around me. everything carried on around me!!! and i feel like im about to sob again thinking about it.