#im assuming it was the legend anyway

[adw520]

cant believe no one told me about the fishing derbies

[elegyofthemoon]

wait actually ruan mei wanting to become an aeon brings back that questionable legend about how someone on the luofu became lan i need to go back amd look for it but its a thought.

[designernishiki]

status update on my mission to 100% and platinum yakuza 0: completion list is at 99.2% and would’ve been finished today if not for pool (carom/combo shots- i made enough money from it though) and batting. my most significant peaks today were probably beating both so and jo amon on the first try miraculously and at one point i got like 34 points in expert koikoi

[fecto-forgo]

anyways heres some misc jamba cult info from the japanese version of star allies the official translation removed/changed the meaning of i found a couple days back (fan translations can be found here)

-this is implied but misworded in english, the jamba cult worships dark matter rather than be masters of it (this is prob why gooey gets positive nickname privileges from zan on twitter)

-the magic n science ancients old relationship prior to the magic clans ban is explicitly positive in japanese

-english hyness says magic overcame science n reached prosperity, japanese says science n magic could only reach prosperity when together

-for wtv reason, english replaced one of the mentions of the "book of legends" (the book abt void hyness has) w talking abt ambiguous ancient scrolls instead...?

-theres some references to a paradise void will destroy in the japanese screens w that one cult prayer that were cut from english (the second n fourth ones specifically iirc), the sisters guest star screens make references to paradise as well, make of that what you will regarding the religious side of the cult

-most if not all instances of void being called dark lord r used to censor out void being called god/god of destruction in the original version

-pon & cons japanese title (a-un guardian beasts) is a reference to a buddhist concept of beginning n ending, the pause screen states they surrendered to the enemy n thats why theyre doing guard work there, rather than they became cultists off screen between games like one might assume

-japanese hyness uses ~ when talking a lot, while most ppl associate that w a character having a sweet cute voice tone, for him it likely just indicates he tends to drag out the end of words a lot

-fully removed from english, hyness has a complex abt his face, which is why its so well covered

-zans second boss screen in english credits her loyalty to hyness' intoxicating charisma n her sense of duty, while japanese later does canonize she has a strong sense of duty in a different screen, it instead says for the second boss she feels indebted he took her in n is also "enamoured" by his charisma n "admires him from within the heart", quoting the used wording bc i think shes both adorable n so deeply worrisome

-weve all heard the english translation censored zan being heavily implied to have attempted suicide n being saved by hyness after it fails (succeeds?) after shes struck by lightning n nearly dies/gets bought back by him.wtv take on hyness saving the mages you prefer

-zan is never called the eldest of the sisters in the original, just the chief of the trio

-hyness misremembers zans name as zan paruru, a pun on the japanese word for forgotten (wasuraruru), that same pun is used for her boss themes title

-one of zans attacks in japanese is named after the "thunder candies" (type of wagashi) found in kaminarimon, where a statue of the shinto thunder god raijin is found, zans drums used during that same attack r literally based on raijins own drums

-zans first boss screen claims she toys w her enemies through her quick attacks rather than render them helpless like prey.just mentioning bc thats silly n has a slightly new show of her personality that line up w her depiction on the official twitter in a way

-flamberge wasnt taking a break in her second boss fight she was just slacking off n picked a nice star/planet on purpose for that.thats funny of her so its justified

-flamberge calls francisca kiss-chan in japanese, this is the same nickname zan gives her in japanese thats officially translated as franny

-this isnt mentioned in the documents but im bringing it up bc its funny.that part of HIAD where francisca calls flamberge "miss flamberge" was just flamberge-san in jp, -san is just a polite honorific to use that isnt immediately translated to miss/mister, specially if the characters know each other.why did they make it that lmao

-japanese explicitly says too much heat might straight up make francisca melt (english also implies that tbf)

-francisca dislikes "pointless murder", but is fine freezing ppl n keeping them for her collection if she deems them an enemy

-hyness' japanese title can be read as both mage priest n devil priest

-the sisters titles all have a reoccurring use of ice blossom, hellfire n thunder fang respectively, n theyre called the demon generals instead of mage sisters

-HIAD hyness' title fell priest has a reference to fallen angels.i feel thats giving pre corruption hyness too much personality credit but alright

-void is refered to both as devil n angel in different forms titles.this is awesome

-theres a kanji for hope thats associated w the jamba cult throughout the whole game

-the japanese guest star screens for the mages say theyre no longer praying n r seeking a new paradise together, for whatever reason, english completely removes the no longer praying part, completely losing the meaning of the sentence n development the sisters have (interestingly, hyness is mentioned in those n still called their master, n zans description straight up states she wants him to watch her triumph (translated officially as her wanting to make him proud), so its not actually explained if they disbanded the cult or theyre just.some kind of normal religion now? but theyre atleast touching grass now)

todays conclusion is the KSA translators just hate us 👍 check the linked fan translation for more examples of that

[zizbombs]

Is there a more useless cape in the bay than triumph?

After much soul searching, wiki browsing and pondering, the answer to that question is yes. Yes there is.

Meet exhibit A: Trevor, AKA Chariot.

The worst fucking tinker to ever live.

Outwardly, very similar to Triumph. Complete mouthbreathing fodder.

What really puts Chariot in 'I would rather have greg veder have this power' tier is the fact that he had so much potential.

Chariot is a movement tinker, one who I cannot stress this enough, HAS ACCESS TO TELEPORTATION TINKERTECH.

TELEPORTATION TINKERTECH.

One more time for the people in the back,

TELEPORTATION.

TINKERTECH.

I could cry, really I could.

So first off, you need to understand just how good his power is. He literally made fucking POWER ARMOR that could go 100 mph with fucking dogshit scraps. Fucking power armor. The only other tinkers with power armor was trainwreck (a guy who's specialty is literally working with scraps) and Armsmaster, who's funded by the protectorate. And this guy just fuckin made some shit in his basement with an oven and a blowtorch or something.

He's got an extra dash of that shardstuff for sure. Also for some reason he just has extra insight into tinkertech? Just added on, for shits and giggles. His shard was forking over the shardbucks to give it's host a head start, too fucking bad it landed on literally the worst person in existence to have a tinker power. even fucking leet would be better than this idiot.

Not only that, he was able to copy trickster's power. Yk, trickster, just the guy with one of the most versatile and powerful powers in a street level setting and even beyond some of that, no biggie. fucking trickster.

This guy could scan movers and copy their powers.

In a world where this guy had a single braincell, he would've joined the protectorate, scanned strider's power and worked with dragon to set up fucking portals all around the united states or something.

Instead, we get this fucking brainlet.

I'm assuming he could also make some sort of neurological implant to speed up his thoughts to keep up with his tech, but thats just another failure of this troglodyte.

I still, I'm still laughing at how utterly fucking stupid this shit is, but one of his gadgets that he made.

So get this, he made a jetpack right, or a flight pack whatever. Guess what this dipshit decides to add in his shit. A fucking bomb. Yeah, he added a bomb in something he was carrying on his back. The reason? As far as im concerned, as a fucking escape route.

Yeah, you heard that right.

The MOVEMENT tinker, put a fucking bomb in their movement gear, to ESCAPE.

???

Unless he had some sort of secret 540000 iq plan to do something else with that bomb, but considering this guy's track record I doubt it. Even then that's fucking stupid. Why are you blowing up your gear? 'Oh hey! I got a great idea! Instead of doing literally anything else, how about I put an EXPLOSIVE right next to me in volatile tinkertech! What a great idea!'

Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself.

So, this guy triggered about a year before canon start. What was he doing in all of that time?

Literally fucking nothing.

All he did was just ride around at 3 am being a little shithead. A year btw, he did that for a year.

Then he eventually got caught by assault (lol) and was forced to talk to Kid Win. In an incredible play, since Chariot was working for coil and decided to become a rat, got DISCOVERED BEFORE HE EVEN SIGNED THE PAPERS. LOL?

This fucking dipshit was like 'Yeah, they'll never see it coming >:)' meanwhile the PRT had a meeting deciding to fucking just feed this guy faulty information. Can you fucking do anything 😭.

He just was taking L after L.

He's like Leet but he doesn't even have the excuse that his shard hates him.

He's literally Legend's long lost cousin.

no goals, no plans

what are you doing man? 😭

Worst fucking spy on the planet.

Literal shithead kid waking people up at 3 am going on joyrides, which would be based if he wasn't so stupid. Such a cool power too, definition of wasted potential. I just agh.

WHY DO YOU GET. LIKE. UNDERSTANDING OF OTHER TINKERS SHIT. JUST TACKED ON. WHY ARE YOU BUILT FOR COLLABS AND YOU DO NOTHING.

Only fucking this guy could take a teleportation tinker spec and be absolute fodder.

Im still laughing at the bomb shit. Why is your first thought as a movement tinker to put a fucking bomb inside of your tech. Like what? Instead of literally making anything else. Are you fucking stupid? Yes you are, you are stupid. Even if it wasn't an escape plan (still can't believe it WORKED as an escape plan.) Like, what are you gonna do, throw your shit at the guy your fighting then stumble away because you blew up all of your shit. This fucking guy.

Anyway, stay tuned for more hating.

[astarionancuntnin]

Die For You (Chapter 6)

summary: the morning after your night with astarion, you discuss a plan to take down the man who attacked you.

rating: E

word count: 5.2k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader, reader is tav)

cw: 18+. bit of fluff, lots of angst, more smut. dom!astarion, oral (f!receiving), very dirty talk, possessive sex, p in v, breeding kink (no pregnancy tho), mating press, blood/vampire bites, overstimulation, creampie. full list on ao3

a/n: so i knoooow that classic vampires dont have telepathic abilities but were talking about a vampire ascendant baby girl which is very homebrew so im giving myself the right to rizzle dazzle his powers for the means of this fic, thank you for coming to my ted talk

Masterlist

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or keep reading down below~

He says, "Ooh, baby girl, you know we're gonna be legends

I'm the king, and you're the queen, and we will stumble through heaven

If there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes

I know you wanna go to heaven, but you're human tonight"

-

You’re taken out of your deep slumber by the sun’s brightness shining upon your face. You turn away, hiding your eyes from the blinding light to enjoy a few more minutes of rest, when a warm, honeyed voice greets you.

“Good morning, little love. Had a good night of sleep?”

You hum, your voice dozy from sleep, while he strokes your hair, and you find yourself snuggling closer to him as you press your forehead gently against his thigh. His warmth was always surprising, but not unwelcome.

“Would you care for breakfast?” he continues.

You grumble, pulling the bed sheets over your head. “Do I have to? I’d rather stay in bed if I have a say in the matter.”

He smiles, “That can be arranged.”

You raise your head when you realise he hasn't moved, unsure if he's waiting for your response and instead, you find him with his eyes closed and brows furrowed. He opens them again after a moment and meets your gaze once more.

“There. Shouldn’t be long now.”

You sit up, puzzled by what just happened, but he’s quick to reply to your unspoken interrogation. 

“A master holds a telepathic connection with his creations, and this bond can hold between great distances.” You suddenly remember the encounter you had with Astarion’s siblings back then; how the spawn twisted in pain when it received Cazador’s orders and Astarion notices your worry. “It doesn’t hurt them, if that’s your concern.”

“It didn’t look that way the last time I witnessed it,” You bring your knees to your chest as you sit up, before covering yourself with the light silk bed sheet.

“That’s because Cazador enjoyed to torture us, and unlike him, I’m no monster. I would expect you to know me better than that by now.”

It’s true, he never mistreated his spawns, not in your presence anyway, and Amedee even mentioned how well she was treated since she had become his servant. You had no reason to believe otherwise, aside from your own lingering preconceptions.

As you think of her, Amedee enters your room with a prompt salutation, carrying along a golden platter of food that she leaves at the end of your bed. You could tell she was embarrassed despite the lack of pink in her cheeks, as she struggled to look at you and quickly left after Astarion dismissed her. If she had only looked up to you, she would’ve seen the grin that appeared on your face from this brief interaction. Once she leaves, Astarion brings the plate up to you.

“Ask and you shall receive.”

The plate is generously filled with a variety of fruits, cheeses, and meats, along with freshly baked bread slices to pair with them. By the amount displayed, you would assume that the plate is meant to be shared, but Astarion doesn’t indulge. Instead, he waits for you to serve yourself. You’re overwhelmed by the vast selection and hesitate before reaching out to make a pick or your first bite; you settle on a bit of dried meat and cheese, their aromas complementing each other perfectly. You close your eyes as you savour the rich flavours on your tongue; although you still had no intention of getting up anytime soon, you were thankful for the breakfast. Astarion smiles, happy to see you eat to your heart’s desire, and he leans back on the stack of pillows, admiring you.

In truth, you’re extremely grateful for everything he’s done for you, especially with what happened the day prior, and you want to express it, but somehow you struggle to get the words out. You can’t find the right words, and you don’t want to risk breaking the comfort you have just managed to create with him, after so many days of hatred and tension. You open your mouth once, and twice, without a single sound coming out, and you think, maybe I should let it go, maybe if I say nothing it’ll be better than saying anything at all. Maybe if we don’t talk about it, then I can pretend this dreaded ball never happened.

“What troubles you my dear?”

Well, now you can’t.

You sigh heavily, getting ready to finally pour your heart out to him. “I’ve been meaning to thank you. For yesterday, after the ball. After what happened, I was… I’m not even sure. It’s always something you hear happen to others, I never would have imagined it happening… to me.” You feel yourself spacing out again into the events and you snap out of focus to find Astarion staring back at you earnestly. “I’m just glad that you were there to stop him, is what I’m trying to say.”

“Had I known the bastard would’ve followed you out, I would’ve gone with you into the gardens. All I can do now is assure that he will never get close to you again.”

“Wait so– You know him?”

“That was Sir Virric Othros. He’s a merchant noble, he deals directly with the economy in Baldur’s Gate. The two other men from the ball, the ones you confronted?” You nod, awaiting more information. “Those were his business partners. Pretentious little shits if you ask me. I know they don't particularly appreciate me, arseholes will bad mouth me at any chance they get. Usually I would let it slide, I don’t have time to deal with petty comments, but attacking you draws the line,” he says, now frowning.

“That checks out, they were doing exactly that when I spoke up in the ballroom, but then I don’t know how his business relates to yours and why he would want to take you down.”

His gaze snaps back at you, “What?”

“That’s… the reason he attacked me. He meant to use me against you.”

He looks away, his eyes flicking left and right, searching his mind for a solution to a problem he couldn’t solve and when his eyes fall back on you, they are filled with a darkness that sends a shiver down your spine. “You can’t leave this palace, do you hear me?”

“What?! Why?”

“Don’t you realise what this implies?” He gets up and picks up his clothing from the previous night to dress himself back up in a rush. “If these people have it in their mind to take me down, they won’t stop until they get what they want. We don’t know who they hired, if they already have something else planned–” 

“I can defend myself!”

“Like you did so wonderfully at the ball?” He catches your frown as you avert your eyes, resigned from answering back and he sighs remorsefully. He leans closer as he settles back on the bed, drawing your gaze back to him. 

“You might be the strongest woman I know, but they’re vile, they won't fight fair, and they won't hesitate to use underhanded means to get what they want. I cannot risk having you out with a target on your back, the only place I can assure you will be safe is here, in the palace.”

You blink a few times and your eyes light up as a sudden thought crosses your mind, “Then let’s take them down first.”

He scoffs, “Darling, I’m not against the idea, but I can hardly see how. We are talking about nobles amongst the most influential of Baldur’s Gate, their disappearance won’t go unnoticed.”

“We could say that they got abducted? Disappeared without a trace, somehow, I don’t know, but we’ll find something, we need to get rid of them. If they’re that dangerous and influential, prison won’t cut it.” You glare into his eyes trying to convey your devotion. “We need to take them out ourselves. And I will kill this Virric myself.”

Astarion can see the anger burning in your eyes as he stares back at you with the same intensity; for the first time since his ascension, you’re both thinking of the same thing. He gets back up, grabbing the remaining discarded clothes from the previous night before heading for the door. “Get dressed and meet me in my office. I might have an idea.”

—

By the time you get to Astarion’s office, he’s already completely immersed in a world of his own, shifting between multiple pieces of papers that populated his desk. You had never taken the time to visit his personal rooms, you’re surprised to see his office filled with books on various topics, but you notice a recurring theme around necromancy, vampires and their powers, and nobility in Baldur’s Gate. Astarion only notices you minutes after you’ve entered, lifting his head to see you approach him.

“For this to work, we would need to attack them somewhere we have control over – the crimson palace, obviously – so I will be hosting a soiree, this way they are within reach and we can deal with them however we see fit. We can work out the details as we go, but it should cover the essentials: lure them here without suspicion, and allow us to proceed under cover.”

Ever the planner. Some things never change, you think to yourself. “Luring them here won’t be enough, we also need to lure them away from the party, where we can deal with them personally.”

“That should be easy enough; if they notice you before you walk away from the rest of the guests, they should take the bait and follow you. They wouldn’t be smart enough to catch on to the trap we lay out, and I could follow them to you, make sure you’re safe.”

You raise your eyebrow at him, “Having the host disappear into the darkness with a few guests and come back out alone? That’s one way to raise suspicions instantly.”

“Well then little soldier, you were always the most intricate strategist, what would you suggest?”

“We need you to be visible at all times, no one can suspect you to be in on this, otherwise we’ll have much bigger problems to worry about. As for me, no one has seen my face yet, but everyone has seen me dance with you at the last ball. I can’t be seen at all during the soiree. You’ll tell the guests I’m sick and cannot attend, and meanwhile I’ll hide in the shadows until the time is right to lure them away.”

He hums, reflecting upon your idea. “Not bad… But then once alone with them, what will you do?”

“If I hide a weapon beneath my dress, I should be able to take care of two of them easily, but three might be tricky. Plus, they’ll probably be armed, as they were last time.”

“I could send you reinforcements. I would just need your signal to have my children come to help.”

You shake your head; something is missing. “We would need to be able to communicate through the party.” You sigh. “I never thought I’d say this, but the tadpoles would’ve been really useful in this scenario.”

“Well…” He pauses. “There is a way to do this without involving those parasites.”

“Which is?” He tilts his head to show the bite marks on his neck and the realisation dawns on you, “You would need to turn me…”

He moves away from his desk, slowly approaching you, “We would be able to talk to each other no matter the distance and without raising suspicions. You would be stronger, swifter, sharper, and any injury you would receive – should you get hurt – would be healed in a matter of seconds.” He reaches you and tilts your chin up to meet your eyes, almost whispering, “You would become untouchable.”

You gulp, as a knot in your throat builds up. There had to be another way, something else that could provide you a way to communicate somehow. You curse yourself for lacking any magical abilities; maybe then you wouldn’t have to resort to such extremes.

“I want to share this gift with you.” He continues as he grabs a hold of your hand. “I’ve only been wanting the best for you, my love. With this strength, no one will dare to take advantage of you. You’ll never have to fear anyone, ever again. Neither of us will. We will be unstoppable, as we should’ve always been.”

When he offered to make you his consort six months ago, you turned him down immediately, almost disgusted by the offer. How ironic for you to consider it now. You can only imagine what your life would’ve looked like had you accepted back then: if it had been anything like these past weeks, you would've had nothing less of a lavish life. Endless parties, custom clothes, all the perfume and jewels you could imagine, and all the attention from the man you loved. As a vampire, you would’ve had the strength to defeat anyone foolish enough to even try to come close to you. You would be able to assist Astarion in helping to rebuild Baldur’s Gate and take down corrupted nobles, as Gods only know how rotten those roots seem to be. Chances are, with your added influence as the saviour of the city, the rebuilding efforts might’ve been further done by now, maybe more nobles would have joined your side and funded the repairs. You wouldn’t have had to travel from one city to another in search of a bed or even company for the night, living comfortably within the walls of the palace besides Astarion.

Lady Ancunín did have a nice ring to it, too...

“If I’m to do this… what will change? Aside from the red eyes and fangs.” It was your biggest fear, to become something you were not.

“You’ll still be you, only better. You’re already perfect, it’s hard to improve.” He senses your incertitude and brings back your eyes to him. “You don’t need to make a decision tonight, no invitations have been sent out yet. You can take all the time you need to think this through. I’ll be by your side no matter what.” He softly strokes your cheek with the back of his hand. “I only care about what’s best for you”

It’s a truth you’ve been denying yourself for too long now, and the signs have only piled up since you’ve been back in his world, but you kept ignoring them, too proud to accept that you had been wrong to leave him. You sigh heavily, letting go of any lingering anxiety about your decision.

“If we’re doing this, I have demands,” your voice is stern, asserting the gravity of your words.

“Anything you wish,” he smiles playfully.

“I know you can have control over your spawn. I don’t give you the right to force me to do anything, ever. I mean it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

His tone suggests otherwise, but you carry on, “I want to be properly fed. No starving tactics to manipulate me in any way.” He nods and you continue, “And finally,” you take a deep breath, as the angst builds up in your chest, “I don’t want to become a ruthless monster. Please stay by my side, help me, guide me.”

“Of course my love, that goes without asking,” his gaze softens, “I’ll guide you through every step of the way.”

You sigh heavily, relived by his promise, “Then it’s settled. I don’t want to waste more time discussing the matter, my mind is made up.” Your eyes wear a new shade of confidence, “I trust you.”

“Thank you, my love,” he smiles softly. “I want this experience to be most pleasurable for you. It’ll be nothing like what I experienced, I'll make sure of that.”

His words reassure you for the time being, but the uncertainty of what to expect creates a lingering anxiety in your chest. To prevent yourself from spending more time chasing those thoughts away, you make a proposition.

“We should do it tonight.”

“Eager, aren’t we?” He teases you.

“The faster it’s done, the faster we can carry on with our plan.”

“And I won’t be the one opposing you, my dear.” He walks back behind his desk where he gets started on arranging the papers he had previously scattered around. “I’ll call for the servants to prepare dinner. Do you have any requests for your last meal?”

A memory suddenly flashes before your eyes and you know exactly what you want. 

“Yes actually. Balduran Mash.”

—

After experiencing the most bittersweet dinner of your life, you sought solace in the gardens, enjoying the last hours of sunlight, the feeling of the sun's warmth over your skin, before going back to your room to change into your nightgown for the evening, pondering about how tonight was going to go. You never thought this day would come, and yet, here you were, sitting at your vanity, looking back at your reflection for the last time. By the time you wake up tomorrow, you will be a vampire. Undead. 

One of Astarion’s spawns.

The thought still sits uneasy with you, even though you know it’s necessary to see this plan unfold. You will do anything to make it happen; you would rather die than let this Sir Virric get away with what he had done to you. It’ll all be worth it, you think, and Astarion promised it would bring me protection. It truly is for the greater good.

As you think about his words, Astarion knocks at your door before entering your room. For the first time, you see him wear his casual clothes, similar to those he used to wear when you camped together. He approaches you at your vanity, stopping right behind where you sat.

“Having second thoughts, little love?’ He lays his hands upon your shoulders and you look back at his reflection in your mirror.

You sigh heavily. Even if you did have doubts, you couldn’t let fear cloud your judgement. “No. I need to do this.” You look back to your own reflection, your resolve coming back to you. “There’s no other choice.”

“Good.” He lowers his head next to your ear, murmuring. “Are you ready to experience your final night alive?”

A shiver runs down your spine as you feel his hot breath against your skin. “Yes.”

“Then follow me,” you spy the wicked smile appearing on his lips as he whispers, before he straightens up. He extends his hand out to you as an invitation for you to follow him, and you rise from your seat as you take him up on his offer. 

You would lie to yourself if you said you weren’t terrified. It’s as if your heart was stuck in your throat, and your mind was racing from one thought to another. You stop in your tracks as you near the bed and Astarion turns back to you when he notices your hesitation, “Is something the matter, my dear?”

So many things, and yet you struggle to find which one to mention first. “Will it hurt?” When you speak, your voice is barely audible, as if voicing those words with a quiet voice made them less real as you considered them.

“I promise, the pleasure will be far greater than the pain,” he purrs, caressing your cheek, and you close your eyes at the contact, breathing in deeply. “You trust me, don't you?” You open your eyes back up to find him staring lovingly at you and you nod, “Then you have nothing to fear.”

His hand gets lost in your hair as he pulls you into a deep kiss, and it's as if all the air gets pulled out of your lungs. He grasps your waist roughly, his nails digging through your silk nightgown, and a soft moan escapes you. As you break the kiss gasping for air, his lips trail down to your neck, leaving a path of kisses in its wake. When you breathe in, you’re hit with the intoxicating smell of bergamot, rosemary, and brandy, and you find yourself leaning into him, dizzy from his essence. His hands make their way to your shoulders, lightly grazing your skin there as he pushes away the straps of your nightgown. Your nightclothes are quickly discarded, as the silk easily slides off from your body to your feet, leaving you bare before him. Your chest rises with anticipation at each breath you take, longing for his touch, and yet you remain still – awaiting his next move. As he lifts your chin, your eyes lock with his, and your lips part in anticipation of tasting him once more. He hovers close, murmuring softly, his breath just a whisper away from your mouth.

“You are a vision, my love.”

He leans next to your ear, his hot breath creating a warmth pooling at the bottom of your belly.

“Absolute perfection, ethereal beauty.”

The back of his hand slides along your arm, down to your hand that he brings to his cheek, kissing your skin ever softly.

“And you will be, forever.”

When he faces you again, your eyes are filled with lust and you can’t contain the hunger growing at your core. You close the gap between the two of you in an instant, devouring him, and your hands fall to his trousers, fumble to remove them. Astarion growls into the kiss as you rip open his shirt, not caring for the buttons breaking apart in the process. With his clothes out of the way, he lifts you up to bring you to bed, laying you underneath him all the while continuing to give you the attention you deserve.

“Gods, I wanna devour you.”

Astarion wastes no time to lavish every inch of your skin, starting with your navel, licking and kissing his way down to your thighs, worshipping you as he leaves love bites on his trail. He props your legs up on his shoulder as his mouth bites the soft skin of your thighs, only drawing out the slightest drop of blood, and you grab the bedsheets trying to get a hold of yourself through his teasing. He laps at the fresh wounds to clean it and lets his tongue find its way to your entrance, giving it one long lick while his eyes look for yours.

He tastes your juices on his lips, smirking at you. “Still just as delicious as the first time I tasted you.”

He keeps playfully licking you, barely grazing over your neglected clit, and you squirm under him, until he grabs your thighs strongly, keeping you grounded against his face. You try to move from his grasp, but it's useless; you are nowhere near as strong as him, you would have to take whatever he would have the mercy to give you. He bites down deeper into your other thigh, savouring the richness of your blood, and you gasp. You didn't expect it, but the pain quickly turned into pleasure and you were delighted by the sensation. He pulls away soon after and you whine, pleading for more.

“Yes, my treasure?” The words roll deliciously on his tongue, only teasing you further and you groan, frustrated.

“Please.”

“If you want something, you’ll have to use your words,” he purrs seductively. “Please what?”

“Please…” you take a few breaths, trying to compose yourself. You can hide your desperation for his attention anymore, not after all those days you’ve been craving him. That time in the hallway when you wanted nothing more than to kiss him, when you danced together and the proximity was stifling you, how his words disarmed you, made you want him in the most depraved ways, how you made him yours last night… You want him. “Please, I need you, Astarion.”

He grins with your blood tainting his lips, “Anything for my precious pet.”

He dives into your cunt, devouring you as if you were his first meal in days and you can’t control the loud moan that escapes you. He laps at your entrance, drinking your juices as he did your blood, without wasting a single drop of your precious nectar. When he judges that your pussy had enough, he moves to your clit, giving it the attention it so badly craved. His lips cover it, allowing him to suck gently over your sweet spot, and that’s when you start to feel it, the build up within you nearing its peak. You chant his name like a prayer, each time speaking it louder, until you feel yourself reaching your edge. You try your best to muffle the sounds coming out of you, but Astarion would not allow it. He stops, for just a moment, just long enough for you to look back at him and wonder why he would torture you so and stop when you were so close. 

“Don’t be shy, my sweet. I love the way you scream my name.”

As his nails dig painfully into your thighs, and his tongue dives back to abuse your sensitive bud, you feel the waves of your climax hit you all at once. The scream that leaves your lips is otherworldly, and you get lost in the feeling as your back arches into the mattress. The world around you vanishes and you see stars as your body still rides the aftershake of your orgasm, your breathing barely able to keep up. As you’re coming down from your high, Astarion kisses his way back up, making sure to leave additional bites on his way; noticeably one nicely placed over the curve of your breast. You finally look down to find him looking back at you, with his mouth covered in a mix of your come and blood.

He speaks with a husky voice, his half-lidded eyes lost in yours. “You have no idea how much I want you.”

You manage to mumble a few words through your exhaustion, “Then show me.”

Without breaking eye contact, he moves down just enough to slide his hard length down your navel and between your folds, moving to get himself wet from you. At this angle, his shaft created a delicious friction against your clit that made you cry out louder from the overstimulation. He doesn’t torture you for much longer, as he whispers in your ear, before giving you exactly what you need.

“Sing for me, my treasure.”

He slides inside you with one powerful thrust, making you scream again and your hands fly to his back, searching to ground yourself. When he picks up a languid rhythm, your nails dig into his skin, scratching near his scars and he lets out a feral growl before grabbing your wrist and pinning you roughly against the bed.

“All these months, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about you; your voice, your skin, your delicious cunt. I'll never make the mistake of letting you leave. Ever. Again.” He pounds into you harder, pausing as he speaks these last words, and something clicks inside of you as you hear the possessiveness in his hoarse voice. If it had been anyone else you would’ve wanted to speak up, but when said by him, right now, you wanted nothing but to comply. 

“Do you have any idea of the things I’ve been wanting to do to you these last few days? Fuck, the thoughts that crossed my mind… How I’ve wanted to bend you over that dining table and overfill you with my come, having you dripping from me for days to remind you who you belong to, my dearest consort, mmh–” He picks up the pace, ramming into your cunt deeper, hitting that spot that made you see stars, “If it was only up to me, I would keep you chained to this bed and breed you, over and over again.” He laps at the spot he used to feed on you, the warmth it left on your skin, along with his depraved speech, only pushed you closer and closer to your second collapse. “How beautiful you would look, marked as mine with my bites and my come, mine to please, mine to own. Isn't this what you want?” His lips graze the shell of your ear and he whispers, “To be mine?”

Your mind is clouded by lust and all you can think about is how good he makes you feel, how great he’s been taking care of you, and hells, you really do, you want nothing more than to be his, and his only. Let him own you, use you. As much as you loathed him previously, you can’t help but admit to yourself that you’ve longed for him and his attention, his touch, his kiss, everything he had to offer and everything he’s been wanting to share with you. You always loved him, the only thing those several months spent apart did for you was affirming this truth, and now that you were finally back together, you couldn’t deny it any longer. Yes, I’ll stay with you, I’ll be yours, I’ll be everything you want me to be, I’ll love you until the world ends, you want to say, but only three words leave your lips in a whisper: 

“Make me yours.”

A smile creeps up on his lips at your words, and he bites down on your exposed neck through the markings he had previously left, drinking you in like a starved man as he resumes his thrusts into you. Gods, you missed this, missed him, missed how he made you feel, missed how good you two were together. His drinking on you always acted like an aphrodisiac; it made you see the brightest of stars, made you feel like your entire body was frozen only to be burning with desire moments after, as pure fire was coursing through your veins. You knew that following his bite, you were only moments away to feel the waves of pleasure over you. The vibration from Astarion’s growls against your neck as he drank only contributed more to your end. All it took was another sip from him and you were hit with the strongest of thunders, screaming once again as your body trembled with the aftershock, almost completely taking you out. The waves of your release rippled through your body, your heart pounding in your chest as if it was gonna burst out. If it wasn’t for Astarion savagely fucking you, you think you would have passed out by the strength of your orgasm.

You were feeling more drained than usual, dizzy, even. That’s when you notice your lover still latching onto you. Instinctively, you try to stop him but his grip on your wrist pins you down with no way to move out, and that’s when it all comes back to you. He was going to kill you, turn you into a vampire, make you his dark consort. 

You feel yourself getting colder and colder, his grip on your wrists tightening, leaving you with your last bruises. Your world grows dark and a tear streams from your eye as they get shut tightly. Nothing hurts anymore: not the fangs in your neck, not his hands holding your wrists down, not his weight upon you. 

This was for the greater good, to make you better, make you stronger, keep you safe. You trusted him, and you would welcome this new life he offers you. You wouldn’t be afraid of anyone ever again. In your last seconds of consciousness, you use what you have left of your remaining lifeforce to try and whisper his name, as a thank you for caring, thank you for everything, please help me through this, please never leave my side, A–…

“Star…”

I love you.

And you did, until your very last breath.

-

He says, "Ooh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges

I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon

There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs

And if you wanna go to heaven, you should fuck me tonight

Thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated <3

tag list (comment or message me if you want to be added!): @grimistheangerinmystares @silverfangmarks @roguishcat @nyx-knox @anacdoce @jwera @annnagennnie @angeldarkness95 @marlowethebard

[crazylittlejester]

*points at what you said in Sunny’s ask about hair stuff (which are all wonderful and yes) and Wars bleaching and straightening his hair*

Silly or Hero-warship previous mostly blond heroes gotta look the part perfect soldier image peer pressure whatever? (Basically, silly little guy or sads?) (My brain immediately went to this but it kinda falls apart with some of the others in the chain having different hair colors (which, again awesome, curly hair Rulie and Wind my beloveds) but thought why not ask anyways)

Taking this as a Yap opportunity because it’s been so long since people have sent in asks about my Wars headcanons and I feel like I haven’t gotten to talk about this in a while >:) SO THANK YOU FOR THIS

edit: apologies if theres any spelling mistakes im dyslexic but also just an idiot

So I hc Wars came from a very small village on the outskirts of the kingdom and when he got to Castletown and joined the army things were very different, HE was very different. He didn’t feel like he fit in with them, so he tried his best to force himself to fit in which is why I hc he does a fake accent, a Castletown/British one so people assume he comes from there. The way people view him is very important to him because he worries if they don’t see him through the carefully crafted lens he’s set up for himself to be viewed through, people will not like him or they won’t think he’s worthy or they’ll think he’s pathetic and he can’t handle that. So everything about how he’s constructed and built himself, from his hair to his accent to his walk to his laugh, his smile, voice, posture, all of it is carefully and deliberately crafted so that his image and how he presents himself is consistent, reliable, and “hero worthy”

Him straightening and dyeing his hair was 100% because he saw the heroes of legend and realized he didn’t look like them. I hc the Hero of Time was a huge figure, and one of the most noted heroes in Wars’s era, so little Wars compared himself to that a LOT. (and I also hc he never knew Mask was the Hero of Time because the kid called himself the Hero of Masks because HE didn’t think he could live up to his own title.) He thought if he looked more like what the people of Hyrule envision the great hero to look like in their minds, he’d be taken much more seriously

Of course now, seven years after the war, after he’s had a lot of time to come to terms with things and start to heal, Warriors doesn’t feel the need to look like the other heroes in order to be worthy, and he realizes this before he even meets the others. But NOW he’s stuck because he hasn’t felt like himself or like he KNEW himself at all since he was like 14/15, and he’s nearly 28 now and after over a decade of being in the army or “Hero of Warriors”, he doesn’t really know HOW to be him. He’s not yet at a point where he can fully realize the only thing that’s going to make him happy is becoming himself again, he knows he feels more relaxed when he feels safe but hes not really aware of how much his guard drops and how his act disappears when he’s completely at peace. He feels like he needs to keep playing this character of himself he’s made, and that includes keeping up appearances

He’s getting better about relaxing how strict he is with himself, he’ll allow himself lazy mornings where he doesn’t straighten his hair or do his makeup, but he almost obsessively dyes his hair and that’s the last thing he’ll stop doing, because I hc he looks VERY much like his mother and where he’s at right now, he couldn’t handle seeing that. (I hc his mother is alive, and so are all the sisters i hc he has, and they haven’t seen him since he left all those years ago because he feels like he CANNOT go back because hes so different now and he cannot handle the idea that home wouldnt feel like home anymore because he’s become a monster at war and he wont belong there anymore. He still writes home, and keeps in contact, and he’s seen Linkle (his twin), but he can’t bring himself to see his mother in his own face or just go home until he relearns who he actually is)

*wet cough* sorry for the yap 🥺 i have a lot of thoughts and he’s my special guy and this is how I characterize him in my writing (unless its an au or a specific other thing) so i think about him a LOT

if anyone is interested in this characterization of him heres a link to my main Wars series:

*collapses and dies*

[majorproblems77]

ITS LU UPDATE TIME!!!

AND IT IS ALL ABOUT SKY AND IM SO EXCITED :DDDDD

You know what that means! It means a long post by me! :D

Cant wait to be excited about my blorbo for like 30 minutes, so sit get some popcorn and like some earplugs cause i will try to contain my screaming but I've been waiting for more Sky stuff and I'm so excited!!!!

For point, and because I keep forgetting, all the panels I'll be talking about belong to JoJo and @linkeduniverse

Let's do this!

Alright lets get this out of the way first, I love some parallels right, So as per usual, if I need a panel from anything prior I'll let you know where it's from!

So what do you think he asked him.

Hey sir! Have you seen a guy with a big flag on his back going way to fast come through there?

Man is just like, oh yeah he went that way past the forge that your other weird fellows were at earlier.

He run, Then he hero stop. Power pose activated, target acquired. Then he run some more

Run my blorbo run!

Genuinely interested in what exactly this is, Is it a map? Is it a list of places? Is it a paper with time shift shenanigans in it?

I'm not versed in the postman, Is this normal, or did he do this cause he heard Sky and wanted him to think he was waiting?

This face has be dead. (/pos) I love him so much my dear blorbo its been too long since we saw you last.

Putting this together for 1 reason

Postman is a dick, Sky was so close, That can't be more than 10 or so metres at most. Poor man ran across Town out of town to catch up to you for you to go sprinting off into the woods, and my man is full on Olympic sprinting to deliver this mail geesus.

Also, the compulsory return of the king 🧍, Sky is the king of this pose and will not be beaten. Although Legend comes pretty close.

God the expressions in this update are top tier, Sky is just so expressive. Right now, Man is thinking why he does this to himself.

I'm fucking cackling, this art is amazing and Jojo's sister did an amazing job. Like I feel like I can hear this picture with that teasing tone that my siblings would use on me when we were younger. God I love it.

So even though Sky is looking towards Legend here, so I'm totally under the impression that Legend said Wahhhh, and Hyrule said I cant run. As Hyrule was with wars When they got split up initally. Poor Sky, man has become the butt of jokes. Im glad Four is giving them a look, He doesn't look impressed. Its okay Sky, you've got a friend in Four behind you. :D

War's is the real MVP of this arc in my opinion, Man has been in charge of the ragtag chain while Time has been out of action looking over Twilight. He's at the end of his tether.

Part of me wonders if this is going to impact his fighting going forward? Maybe he'll slip up because he's so stressed. He knows not all of them are knighted. These heroes he is with are NOT soldiers and he can't treat them as such.

And this sentence. Don't Interrupt! sounds like he is scolding rowdy recruits, rather than fellow heroes.

Which if you think about it, Sky is giving essentially a scouting report here, He scouted ahead and has returned to speak about his findings. War's is a captain, in his era he's a commanding officer. He's taken reports of this kind before.

Having a panel with Time, Wild and Twilight in Gives me more life than i think i give it credit for. (I am in the crowd that there's a family connection between these three.)

It's also nice to see Wild, like genuinely smiling.

Moving on

Hero pose again! :D

I love this man

These panels are very important to me so give me a moment while I explain.

Sky probably has her words engrained in his mind. You can see the questioning look, and thinking. "Is this going to work?"

That eternal dream That he's talking about, he knows her power is faded, but he's going to try anyway. I just didn't think he would use it to track what I can only assume is the postman.

It's really nice to have Sky's relationship with the master sword put on display. It means a lot to me and has brought me great Joy through this update.

He cares about her. And even if she can't talk to him anymore. He still trusts her to lead him true.

And this panel breaks my heart! Something inside of him probably really hoped Fi would speak to him or give him more of an indication. Sky looks so sad.

I just wanna hug him, and tell him it'll be alright. He's probably thinking about turning around at this point. Maybe he's thinking about how some members of the chain perceive Fi.

A soulless weapon.

(Or maybe im thinking too much into this)

The way his faith is restored!

Fi did lead him! She did! She's still there somewhere, and his shock! Oh my boy. My sweet blorbo,

And having used like super zoom on that last panel, MY BOY IS SMILING! :D

RUN BLORBO RUN I BELIEVE IN YOU!

(Also appreciation for the full body shot's we've got of Sky from this update, I love it so much I love him so much.)

Did I go hunting for the references, Yes I Did.

I think the following area is the area where they pull Twilight too, rather than the battle field and he then moved on from here to get to the battle field.

From sunset pt4

The pillar behind Sky has the only slant I can think of. It looks to be the same angle, but that could just be me.

If it is that location, it might be closer to that battlefield than we originally (Or at least I originally) assumed.

(If you've got any other places let me know!)

God i love him

Blorbo beloved! Is about as shocked as i am with the whole Mailman thing.

The confidence of this man is unreal. He's ready, he's moving he's going. He's going and ain't going to stop.

Me absolutely yelling at how this portal looks, it so ANGRY, But we know the Shadow is pissed right now. And if the shadow is making these portals and he's angry. I think the chain might be in for a surprise as they move on to the next location.

Which if I have to be honest. I think is going to be Skyloft. I think we are moving into a Sky arch, having had a Twilight Arc. (I also really want to see Skyloft in this universe, and there's an opportunity here. We've had more master sword things. We've had Sky content. who knows where Jojo will take this next, but I'm excited either way.)

Finally back to the chain! :D

The gremlins return :D

Wind's little 3:< face as he's thinking is giving the energy of an upcoming detective arch, He is thinking and he is thinking HARD okay.

Poor Sky. Man has been running around doing all the hard work while the rest of them just enjoy themselves. Hyrule especially is kinda like 'Ohhh... our bad...'

It's actually a kinda guilty look, maybe he feels a little bad about the teasing from earlier?

Now i gotta mention the potion thing, cause its just so damn funny not too. Sky my blorbo slow down you are gonna choke on the stamina potion.

But.

I want to focus on War's here.

And Wild too.

These two. These two are important.

Wild has gone from happy and chill vibes to Oh shit real quick.

After everything he put into the Shadow, while the shadow was injured and watched as the thing exploded. It just decided to come back or something. And Wild, here I imagine is thinking, "How was that not enough..."

Now Wars.

War's is Stood not looking at anything, In fact, I think he's looking past Time. The last thing he said was a two word scolding but apart from that he's been awfully quiet. Now he looks like he's thinking. He's closed off, protective.

The only time I can see where he does this is when he's in what I'm going to call, 'Captain mode.' So, When he's flicked something in his head that tells him he has to be a knight.

He dosent do it often, in fact from what I can see he does it 4 other times.

In order

Devine dark reflections pt 8 - when he's talking about knighthood with Sky and Hyrule

Sunset pt11 - When talking about Wild, and the fact that he's left

Sunset pt13 - When speaking to Twilight about pulling his own weight

Dawn pt 2 - when Twilight is talking about the team they are.

And now here in Dawn 7 - Where they are discussing the fact that an enemy they fought escaped or survived.

All conversations I would assume a captain would have to have with his men at one point or another. I wonder what He's thinking here. It's got me thinking.

Woah, So this took me longer than I thought. I am on the 4-hour mark now. Lmaoooo

Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for listening to me ramble for like 20 minutes.

And just remember

Sky is the sweet bestest blorbo beloved and I love him. :D

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[heeseungismymanz]

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Synopsis: You and heeseung have been dating for about 3 months now. You both were the most popular people on the entire campus. It was all fine until you two got in a fight because of his ex. But now you have to go your own 𝒲𝒶𝓎.

Mentioning: All of enhypen (heeseungs friendgroup), yunjin lsfm (y/n bestie), yunah illit (heeseungs sister and your bestie), karina aespa (y/n bestie), keeho p1h (y/n brother), yeji itzy ( heeseungs ex ),more..

°•More under cut•°

Pairing: Popular bf!Heeseung x Popular gf!Fem Reader

Taglist: @mitmit01 @mimisxs

BOLD = CANT BE TAGGED

Warnings: Cursing,Fighting,love language is pt so will hug,cuddle alot,nothing much,idrk! (this specific chapter might be cringe)

SFW MINORS ALLOWED!!

𝑀𝓎 𝒲𝒶𝓎

Thinking about it you realized you met him at Yunah's party. That was the day you met the Lee Siblings! Also when he met you and asked "I like you can i have your number?" Remembering that you decided to relive that moment and started replaying the memories.

You were at Yunah's house and she asked you to grab somethign from her room. You didnt know that the room on the right was hers and you went to the left. Oh boy did you know what was happening in there. You walked in to the room on the left and walked in to see some random group of hot dudes all playing League Of Legends. You did NOT expect that. "Oh sorry, but what are you doing in Yunah's room?" You asked the group of boys. Wow you were stupid. "Uh this is my room.." You tilt your head as you look at the boy who said that. His room? Who is he? "Uh who are you?". Are you dumb though? "Wow thats a new one. I guess ill introduce myself. Im Lee Heeseung." Holy shit bro. You never seen him but heard about him. Your in THE LEE HEESEUNGS room. "Oh sorry-" you tried saying before getting cut off. "Its fine your Yoon Y/N right?" Heeseung said. How did he know? "Oh yeah." You say shrugging. "Oh your Keeho's brother right? Your the most popular girl" Someone else shouts. "Oh uhm yeah!" you say trying to leave the room but they keep talking to you. "Im Jake." Oh so the one who said your keehos brother is Jake. "Dont be friends with him! Hes a loser and a bop. Im Riki." oh, so this is a competition about friends. "Yah! Dont say that Riki, your making yourself a loser! By the way im Sunoo :)" wow. so your gonna assume the other 3 are Sunghoon, Jay, and Jungwon. How do you know this? Yunah told you about them, plus you've seen them. "Oh well ima go bye!" You said while looking at Heeseung. He was smiling and you might have smiled back. You walk into Yunah's room and grab her hat like she asked. "Im back!" you yell walking down.

"What took you so long Yn?" Yunah asked you. "I got a little distracted" Wait when did he ask you out? That night lasted FOREVER. Oh yeah when you went to grab a jelly shot he and his friend group was there. You tried grabbing the jelly shots from the cabinet (why were they there?) but failed. You were lowkey embarrassed. "Here i got you." Someone says pressing his body against your while reaching to get it. You turn around "Oh thanks hee-" you got cut off AGAIN. "Your welcome princess. By the way your really pretty!" Heeseung says while smiling at you. "Oh thanks" You say and all you can hear from behind was "OOOH~!" bro- anyway. "I like you can i have your number?" What do you say? A really hot,tall,pretty guy just asked YOU for YOUR number. "Yeah sure!" You say and dial your number into his phone. "Thanks" He says then you walk away. You go back to Yunah,Karina,And Wonyoung. "Heeseung just gave me his number now what do i do?" You looked annnoyed but was not. "GIRL ARE YOU NOT EXCITED?! YOU GOT LEE HEESEUNGS NUMBER!" thats all you remembered so then you went to the next party and then the next hoping to see him until one day

You were at Jake's party and they were bumping loud music and you were lowkey over-stimulated. The people everywhere you went were loud and someone noticed it and pulled you to the side. "Hey you okay? You dont look so good" It was Heeseung. "Oh yeah just over-stimulated." you reply. "Yeah, Sometimes it gets too loud."

< Previous - Masterlist - Next >

AN: Did i just leave yall like that. YES. It was short cause i lowkey feel sick and literally am throwing up. But i hope you enjoyed this so far. We are halfway through this FF woooo!

[joltning]

@fishfingersalad it’s almost 2am but i can’t sleep and ts probably only going to be seen by like 5 people anyway so let it rip

this au started out as a self indulgent pocket sized au that I ignore as all my aus do…..then I couldn’t sleep and started imagining things im good at that. it started as an au I could do ship focus on and well I love lore I guess. despite all this the main story still focuses on my blorbos. maybe I will make a storyline for the main cast, if I can imagine things again

one day, all across (abridged) America (this is why I made that carolina/puerto rico/dc post btw), 50 children, each for 1 state, pop up at the same time, with varying ages, mostly tween years but with some variation up and down. while some are humanoid creatures, others are completely monstrous and lack sentience. however, they all share one common factor: a tag identifying what state they came from. The majority of the sentient ones assume this is their name, and that’s why they run with it.

conspiracy theorists and cryptid fans nationwide take notice of a bunch of shit happening overnight and develop “The 50” list. depending on if it’s commonly agreed upon what monster you are and if it’s commonly agreed upon what state you’re from, you’ll be ranked higher or lower on the list, with, of course, the highest ranking being the most sought after and hidden. Most of the higher tiered creatures are humanoid; it’s easier to blend in if you don’t look out of place

i forgot to mention Btw it’s like. myths and legends and shit too. i mentioned york being the pied Piper I also think the implication that the pied Piper is a monster is funny. also only one monster per person and

ofc my blorbos…….Everyone run now!!!! Ohio has just moved to a new city yay go girl But her coworkers are fucked up!!! There’s this bitch Sherry that she may or may not have a crush on and like her two little friends who absolutely know that. but Watch out there’s a freaky green man It’s Georgia her old friend Georgia. they were their first freelancer friends but geo Loves making deals for souls slash servitude slash their power slash take over the world slash he doesn’t know what souls are and neither do I. but they gotta be normal and not fight in the office.!!! And fight outside of a Walmart at 2 instead. he’s kinda bad at it though which is why only Ohio cares.

anywya Sherry keeps running into Ohio and Georgia fighting and you know Ohio’s kind of like. well if you see her when she’s not masking you’ll probably go insane huh. so Ohio has to keep wiping her memories and Sherry’s getting CRAZY deja vu.

this is so stressful Good thing Ohio’s got her trusty friends Iowa and Idaho!!! They’re causing chaos somewhere else but she’s always texting them and video chatting. hopefully they can meet up again soon!!

Utah is a paranormal investigator and currently georgia’s only the only person who’s currently made a deal with him. he’s made past deals but Ohio scared them off by ‘Do Not Be Afraid’ing them. it’s either that or they have to get killed lest the green fuck get too powerful and Ohio would rather not do that thanks. utah doesn’t even get anything in return he just wants to know wtf is going on tbh. Georgia stays at his apartment because he’s a squatter I guess

well That’s too bad I guess I can’t share any more because they’re just plotpoints. hey do you wanna know what the other freelancers are

Ohio: Angel (duh. So low because when she spawned she was literally in the middle of a bunch of people and blinded them with her corporeal form)

Georgia: Demon (the devil but literally this time. manages to be a little higher due to being able to teleport short distances. Stayed a little too close to home base, though.)

Iowa: Harpy (kept flying in the air like a dumbass everyone fucking saw him. denialists claim it to be a big bird. and they’re right.)

Idaho: Werewolf (he didn’t know until a full moon came out. oops.)

Carolina: Siren (keeps the bad singing voice.)

York: pied piper….

Wash: Shapeshifter

Florida: Alien (when he came on the fated day he rode in on a meteor instead of plopping in, breaking off the state from the rest of the US. its highly debated on whether or not the meteor itself was the creature.)

Maine: Bigfoot (but he shaves his whole body every day so he just looks like a big guy)

Connie: Kitsune

Wyoming: Fairy (despite being obvious, no one fuckinh lives in wyoming so he just flew far away immediately. fucks up the rankings of others by being spotted far away from his state.)

North: The Sandman (Both spawned across from eachother at the 2 state’s borders. They immediately declared eachother twins.)

South: Mare/Dream Eater (Their high ranking is very dependent on the confusion on which twin is which, since they work together to sleep and then feast.)

Tex: Ghost

you may see here I did not include Utah Did I forget No No No (kinda) I have an idea for what he is but i don’t intent to reveal it ever really. idk how id incorporate that. jsut know I searched really hard to find a creature that wasn’t a ghost that disrupted electromagnetic fields so that every time he went ghost hunting the machines would go off causing him to assert there was a ghost there. but no alas I did not find that

ok tahts it I think. for now. maybe. if you have any ideas for this background fucks wise or rnbs wise I would like them. for meThanks goodnight im gonna pass blout Out Out

[popawritter12]

Hey hey heyyy im back with another request (im the same anon who requested that yandere morgana piece u wrote, absoutely loved it btw ate it up) and i was wondering if you could write some yandere! Hwei x reader? (fanfic or headcanons is up to you!) maybe the reader is an artist as well and they bond over that? Idk man up to you, also love ur takes on characters ur legit one of the best LoL writers ive seen!!

Btw if you dont mind can i be the 🍊 anon? Ive seen other blogs have their emoji anons and i wanna be one so bad fhdbfh

Hope youre having a nice day!!

Author's Notes: Of course 🍊 anon! I would love to <3

I also got tired of making so many headcanons (believe it or not, I have more saved in my drafts), I'm going to write a one-shot. I hope you like it <3. I also appreciate that you like my work. It's especially nice to know that there's someone who enjoys what I do besides me. By the way, I think Hwei is not in the Yandere “tier list” of LoL, so from how I write him and how I see him, I assume that he is a “Normal” type, because his personality reminds me a little of Ayano from Yandere simulator jjjjjjjjjj

Ｏ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Yandere! Hwei x Fem! reader

Yandere character: Hwei From the videogame/anime/manga/movie/series: League Of Legends Case: Mention of stalking, allegation of theft, robbery and kidnapping. Part: 1 of 1 Warning: Excessive text LOL

Ｏ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Obedience.

You had heard that word for so long that it was already embedded in your memory. But not in the way most expected.

You hated that word, and for that same reason you almost never hung out with the teachers or students of the temple you went to.

But we are getting ahead of ourselves, we better go to the beginning.

You had been born into a family that had never been close to other nations apart from Ionia, your mother was a strict woman, sometimes bordering on abusive, who always hated temples. Especially religions… Let's say she never had good experiences with it.

And your father, oh your beloved father… He was a saint in every sense of the word. He was kind, a joker… And a smile was always on his face. He had never yelled, in fact even when he was angry, he would just sit in the corner, ignoring everything around him until his mind cooled down.

And, being an only child, your life around them was quite chaotic. While your mother always tried to stay out of her entire family situation—a rather complex issue even for you—your father was the “husband of the house,” so to speak. He was in charge of teaching you both cooking and home care in general, including carpentry and, mainly, the art of home decoration.

He always dreamed of being a great artist, but in his family it was never frowned upon for a man to make the decision to undertake such a complex world of art, because, you know… that's a “women's thing.” But anyway, a lot of things have happened since the last time you talked to your uncles and cousins so… They aren't very important in your life right now.

But do you know that it is important? Where did you study.

Your father insisted a lot on your talent with sculptures and the human form; You really liked making ceramic vases manually, so much so that from the age of 8 you made your first sculpture; It was the strange shape of a dog with small eyes and a giant nose. At the time you barely knew how to paint sculptures, and your father barely knew about sculptures, and the shape of it so… Let's say it looked more like an "alebrije" than a dog with a big nose.

But that was a long time ago, and now the only proof of that memory is the figure on your father's furniture; kept as a beautiful memory.

As time went by your sculptures became more complex; from simple vases for flowers to sculptures with human figures of such a level that, at this point, we could compare them with the statues of Michelangelo.

And your father wanted that talent to be exploited to the fullest. So, after years of arguing with your mother, they both agreed that you should go to the great temple where you would learn about the art.

But there was a small problem, one that was going to haunt you a lot.

You weren't used to how strict that school was.

The first and second day at that school were quite chaotic for you. It wasn't just because it wasn't as you expected, but because everything was very limited.

If you wanted to make art, you had to do it how they wanted, when they asked you to, and how they expected it. However, not only was that not your style, but it seemed like the teachers (especially the principal) always had one eye on you. And only for a few weeks did you endure that strict issue of obedience.

But there was one boy who was particularly kind to you, and he was a young man of always unkempt appearance. His dark circles always stood out on his face, along with his hair that was rarely organized in a linear manner. From the first time he saw you, he felt charmed by the way you expressed yourself; You were good at painting and using magic, but when he saw the ceramic sculptures you made…damn, you really drove him crazy.

But you obviously didn't notice, you were too focused on trying to get along with your surroundings in general that you didn't notice his desperate attempts to get along with you.

However, in the pleasant conversations you had with him, you always saw him as the stereotype of the exemplary boy; someone who dedicated his entire life to his art, to the temple and was admired by everyone for his great talent. You thought he was assured of a great future thanks to his eccentric abilities.

And you, unlike most, learned very well from your mother that you could not let yourself be trampled; especially by anyone you barely knew. So the blood that ran through your veins and the passion for your own art that you kept for so long was slowly being tied to be limited, but with barely strong ropes. It hurt a lot to know that you were in a place that didn't belong to you, it was as if you were a squirrel in the Freljord, or a mouse in a perfume store.

And in the end, when you mentioned all these things to your mother, she didn't take it very well.

—Did you really go through all this while you were in that temple? —She asked, a cigarette between her fingers as she arranged her needles on the table.

You just nodded your head, not looking at your mother at all. The woman, at this, clicked her tongue.

—I knew that those bitches are only good for the basics, they didn't evolve at all —The woman brought the cigarette to her lips, taking a gentle drag —so, do you know something, my child? Send them to hell.

You were used to her bad vocabulary, so much so that at this, you just nodded your head again.

—I know perfectly well that you are not like me, that you want to venture out and learn about “the ways of art” and that I know —The woman moved her free hand in the air, while with the other she only lightly squeezed the cigarette. —, but if you're going to go alone so that that bunch of nuts can do you less, I'm going to get you out even by kicking you in the ass.

Your mother was tough as a chain in the teeth, and you knew that she couldn't last long without making trouble in the temple if there was someone bothering her only daughter. She cared very little if it was a student, a teacher or even the founder of the temple himself —Even though she knows that she died a long time ago— she would go and give her her dose of shit if she messed with the pride of her as a mother.

She advised you to kick their ass if they messed with you, but your father later talked to you about it, advising that you couldn't take all your feelings and thoughts to such an extreme, but that you should think coldly, and not give importance to people that were not to your specific liking, regardless of their social status. You were no less for coming from a family that came from the middle of nowhere.

During your temple walk, you always walked alone, which gave you plenty of time to think about your actions; You had been passive most of the time, however, more than once you let out those classic off-color comments when they already crossed your limit. Words like “Fuck you if you don't like it” or “You're barely able to use colors and you're going to tell me what I have to do?” escaped you in very rare cases.

You entered the less traveled part of the temple, hoping not to encounter those looks that made you uncomfortable. The song of nature resonated in your ears harmoniously, while the sound of the materials inside your bag resonated from time to time.

In the midst of your ramblings, you remembered your lost sculptures, and your forgotten materials; You were not a forgetful pardon, and it seemed strange to you not to find your favorite materials —That were metal, so they were worth a lot of money —, and even though you asked and asked, you couldn't find it anymore, so it depressed you a lot to think that you had lost something that had cost yout parents so much effort, and the mere memory of it caused you to feel that pang in your heart.

Even if your parents said it was nothing that couldn't be fixed, it hurt to know that you had lost one of the most expensive things your parents had cost you to get you.

But it was curious to think what a surprise you would get.

However, you get to hear some noises; without being the whining of baby birds waiting for food or rodents walking in search of food, but rather it resembled the voice of two people talking. You recognized both of their voices, but you thought it wasn't too important to stay there, in fact, you were already planning to go somewhere else when you heard it.

—So that girl, (Name), right?

—Yes, I didn't think you realized that issue.

The second boy's shy voice reminded you of that young man you rarely spoke to, which took you by surprise. Hwei wasn't the type of person to talk bad about someone behind their back, or at least that was the idea you had based on your interactions.

—You don't have to worry, after all it's normal for you to feel attracted to someone —Jhin mentioned, almost in a mocking manner—. So why don't you tell me about her?

You had already noticed the intention behind that interaction, however, after what happened, you thought that maybe you could calm your heart with some sweet words that you weren't meant to hear at that moment.

—Well, she is… incredible —He begins, you hear how the young man sits on a log due to the sound of the hollow wood —, she is beautiful, kind, tender… and her way of expressing her art is so… unique.

You gently leaned your back against the wood, trying not to make any sound. Something in your chest moved abruptly, as if your heart was fluttering like a butterfly in glass.

—I adore her sculptures, I feel that they are the most beautiful thing I have seen —He continues talking, slowly his emotion rose more and more —. I looked sometimes at her work in class or in the room away from her, and they are… beautiful.

—So much so that you had the need to steal them, right?

It was a single sentence, one which echoed in your head for several seconds.

—What are you talking about? —Hwei asks, arranging his hair a little, trying to place several strands behind his ear —. I would never do that.

You didn't hear how Hwei's tone of voice changed, becoming staccato, as his hands clung to his backpack, which he had in his lap.

At this, the other student laughed, almost like a subtle laugh, while his eyes wandered to where your shadow was looming. A mischievous smile forms on his face.

—So, I imagine that the sculptures that are in your room were made by you, right? —He questions, looking subtly into Hwei's eyes—. Or you bought them from her.

Your thoughts slowly formed a thread of the events that had happened. A lump formed in your throat, almost painfully so.

—Or her favorite utensils, she asked me if I had seen them last week, since she had left them near you the last time she saw them —He continued, almost introspectively—, but when I asked you, you only mentioned that you didn't see them that day either.

You shook your head, from the depths of your soul you prayed that it wasn't true, that you didn't have the school prodigy after you in such an extreme way.

—Well, I admit that I have some of her sculptures in my room, but they are the ones that she forgot in class or anywhere! —The pale boy snapped—. And I don't know what you think I did with her utensils, I don't know how to sculpt.

Jhin laughs again, barely audibly now, as if he knew that now he would have to act more vividly.

—And why were they in the box in your room? —Jhin asks him —, it even had remains of dry ceramics. Could it be that they were already used?

Hwei gritted his teeth, while his gaze met Jhin's again.

—That side of you… It's so peculiar. —He smiles —, I thought no one would see it, but you risk being seen in exchange for getting some things from (Name).

Hwei knew that darkness within his soul had awakened since the first day he saw you. And that darkness spread throughout his soul, mind and body, to the point that it seemed to consume all of his heart and mind.

—Your paintings were always warm colors —Jhin changed the subject, the smile disappearing from his face —, they were never about anything specific, but since you met that girl, something changed —He bowed gently in front of Hwei —. If it was about her, you focused on her in a way that made her seem pure, you used colors that highlighted her body or her emotion on her face. But she never looked at anyone —He subtly changed his focus —, she looked at the painter, or she didn't look at anyone, tell me, do you just want her to not look at anyone but you? Do you want her to the point that you don't want her to look at anyone but you?

He remained silent, in such a way that you could feel the weight of the words lingering in the air, causing an almost inexhaustible tension there. It was such that you could no longer hear the song of nature that you longed for so much.

—I won't criticize you, Hwei, you know that I understand better than anyone the dark feeling inside you —Jhin tried to sound empathetic —. And, if you want, I can help you make (Name) yours. I can make her fall in love with you and make that she can never leave you.

The obsessed young man understood how wrong it was to have those thoughts terrifying his mind, but he couldn't stop it, it was a feeling that had already taken root in his heart, and he couldn't tear it out no matter how much he wanted to.

—I can't… —Hwei whispered, his voice breaking —…, I don't want to harm her; She is so nice to me, I don't want to put her through all my feelings.

You heard him sob.

—You're not going to hurt her —Jhin comforts him, a hand running over his cheek —. I know you love her very much, and you notice how others hurt her. But, tell me, don't you think about those people really hurt her? —He subtly wipes away the tear that slipped down her face—. You should take care of those people, you know? So she could express her art as she loves it. Maybe she could even make thousands of statues without anyone to pressure her, and you could “borrow” them for yourself.

You had heard enough, you couldn't stay there for another minute.

However, before you could move, Jhin leaned close to Hwei's ear, his lips close to her loose strands of hair.

—Or you could take it right now, you know? This opportunity is perfect. —Jhin's mischievous smile spreads across his face.

Hwei opened his eyes to her peak, at the same time he heard a rope move abruptly.

And you felt your foot being pulled up, forcing you to hit your face against the ground, causing you to moan in pain.

—Shit. —You whispered, feeling your head spin, a small wound on your head began to make small drops of blood come out.

—That is…? —Hwei whispers, his heart sinking in his chest —(Name)..?

Ｏ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)ＯＯ(≧∇≦)Ｏ

Today I came wanting to write. I loved how this one-shot turned out, and I hope those who read it do too haha.

I hope to receive more orders if any of you wish, until then, I will be dedicated to my hobbies and my studies.

[kageqama]

its finally happening! also im really glad that they decided to go with legends and not lets go format. well, im assuming its going to be like legends where you can throw the pokeball while not in battle. anyway super excited!!

[hex-maniac-rambles]

Fuck it, pokemon oc info be upon ye

First up we got Atlas

Hes..... somewhere around his mid-20's, i dont know i havent thought about it

He was a normal pokemon trainer on a journey starting from unova going across all the regions, but he ended up joining team skull and sticking around Alola for a long while.

He joined the team just for the hell of it, really, since he thought it would be fun to let loose and cause chaos. (that, and he thought Guzma looked cool..) Over his time in the gang, due to his skills in pokemon battling, he ended up becoming an admin alongside Plumeria.

Atlas specialises in dark types, and his pokemon team includes: an alolan meowth, deino, zorua, malamar and an alolan muk.

I know he looks like he would be smart, but hes actually really really stupid. He threw his common sense out the window when he joined the gang, and now his solution to anything is to 'set it on fire!'. Thankfully, Plumeria keeps him under control and doesnt let him commit arson. He also cant cook for SHIT. He has multiple times almost set the team skull base on fire while trying to cook. (he has since been banned from having lighters, matches, or touching any kind of device that heats up.)

Next up weve got Z / Zee!

She has the intelligence of a 11 year old, as well as the looks of one

Shes not actually human, shes just a zorua that really wants to be human. She grew up watching people go about their days, and found that she wanted to be like that too.

Even though zoruas ability is called illusion, in most of the pokemon media they seem to be able to interact with their surroundings, so i assume its more like transformation. Thats what im going off of here.

Z is mute due to her vocal cords not being equipped for human speech. (going off of the pokemon anime, zoruas seem to not have the ability to talk, but zoroarks do.) Her disguise, however, is near to perfect. She has spent months honing her illusion ability, and managed to mix and match features from people she had seen to make an illusion she was happy with. an illusion she could call herself.

Ever since she got her illusion perfected, she has spent most of her time in it. She lives in the woods by herself, just like a pokemon would, except she sometimes wanders into town to cause some mischief. I havent decided where exactly she lives, but id imagine her to be well known around there.

At the beginning, she would obviously be illiterate and unable to communicate in anything other than gestures and body language, but she does eventually learn sign language! She learns how to read and write as well, but shes not very good at either of those...

While on the topic of Zoruas trying to be human..

Here we have Fuyu 冬! She resides in hisui

She has the intelligence of a 11 year old as well

She is also a zorua pretending to be human, but for different reasons as Z. Fuyu was hoping to infiltrate the towns of people in order to learn more about them, specifically their weaknesses. Like most hisuian zoruas, she holds deep resentment for people.

Her kimonos collar is intentionally the wrong way, because hisuian zoruas are technically undead. Thats why she looks a little lifeless too. I know their illusions dont seem to work the same way as a normal zoruas, but shh..... let me pretend..... let me pretend she can be a real girl..........

Her plan was to learn humans weaknesses in order to kill them all, but unfortunately for her, she got attached to one of them and abandoned her objective. That someone was warden Ingo, because id imagine he wouldnt be as familiar with the legends of dangerous shapeshifting pokemon, and thus wouldnt be too suspicious of Fuyu. Ingo was nice to Fuyu one time, and she was like ''oh. humans can be nice?'' and decided to just follow him around out of curiosity. Long story short, they get to know eachother over time (the best they can with Fuyu being unable to communicate, anyway) and end up having a sort of father-daughter dynamic.

pretty much everyone in hisui is suspicious of Fuyu, but Ingo vouches for her humanity, even after he finds out her true nature.

Last but not least,

Silas!

Hes like..... somewhere in his 30's... he just got really good genes..

Silas is a retired pokemon trainer. He used to travel around the regions but eventually settled down in unova and started up his own little flower shop in Nimbasa. Its a little two tier building, the first floor serves as the store, and he lives on the second floor. Hes the only worker there, if his pokemon dont count. He was born in Alola, but soon embarked on his journey at the ripe age of 12 like most other trainers. His first Pokemon was actually his phantump, but he kept it secret from professor Kukui because he wanted to get a rowlet. (he got one)

By the time he settled down and started the flower shop, his Pokemon team consisted of; his Phantump named Thumpy, a Decidueye named Cider, a Shuppet named Doll, a Morelull named Marianne and a Petilil named Lily. He likes small pokemon, so most of them arent evolved.

Hes quite introverted, and has a sort of gloomy aura about him. His voice is soft, airy, and quite hard to hear. He pauses mid sentence often, and his way of talking is quite creepy to a lot of people. He looks quite uncanny when he smiles, even though he doesnt intend to, thus he often scares off customers…. phantump always floating over his shoulder doesnt help... Overall, despite his pretty face, his behavior makes him seem quite weird to normal people.

thatt is all. if anyone read through all of this, thank you.... i lvoe rambling......

[the-ark-awaits]

make a post about the nuclear powerplant thing!

THANK YOU I FORGOR

so. theres this place in virgina, its the north anna nuclear generating station, right? it was a 4.5 star rating with 54 reviews.

pretty cool! i love nuclear power! this station powers something like half the homes in the state or some shit. pretty poggers! now the intersting bit. again, it has 54 reviews! thats kinda a lot, especially for, yknow. a power plant. as expected, most of them are just star ratings, no text, standard, then you get the text ones, some pretty standard like this one

and this

oh people genuinely leaving good reviews and people leaving silly ones. but then, if you look, you see this

whats so special about november 15 2021? so, while my digging hasnt been able to reveal the actual source of this, the earliest mention of this is the screenshot above though i cant get a specific date on the review bc of how google works. the other two earliest mentions, besides other reviews, are an ifunny meme

and a reddit meme on r/oddlyspecific

at this point you get a bunch of reviews like these that seem to be people gladly joining in on the joke

now obviously, the reactor did not melt down. i assume part of this is spurred by fears set into motion because of the plant shutting down for a period of time in 2011 after a 5.8 (i think) magnitude earthquake sparkes an 'unusual event' which is the lowest rating an event can have in the us for nuclear powerplants. it basically means something happened but nothing harmful, from what it seems, all the safety stuff worked as intended! the other thing that may have spurred it on is that in 2021 the plant was like, almost 50 years ago. the average lifespan for a nuclear powerplant is 40-60 years, so people were and are a little antsy that it has yet to be shut down. the plant, however, from all the stuff i read, has been licensed to stay active until its around 80 barring any incidents! now a small event did happen around that timeframe, but it was of course, not a meltdown of any kind, and it happened on novmeber 10th. if youre curious, link here so at this point this seems to just be people being #sillay in the reviews for fun. some just toss in november 15th as if it get it keyworked in the commonly mentioned feature, which is curious. im sure it has something to do with this strange joke about a meltdown occurring. all these reviews are kinda the same so im skipping one, but shoutout to the review that tosses in the the icecream machine worked. love the mcdonalds shade. so then we get a new interesting one,

bro is out here writing powerplant urban legends on his own in the google reviews. so of course, other people join in

which is kinda cool! anyways this was buckwild to me and only me, and i found this while googling virginia nuclear powerplants at work bc i was bored. daniel, please come pick up your girlfriend, she doesnt have money for an uber. anyways thats the end of the nuclear powerplant lore, thanks for reading. NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT REVIEW SPAM THIS NUCLEAR POWER PLANT THANK YOU

[thegeminisage]

wow it is star trek update time. last night we watched ds9's "blood oath" and tng's "journey's end," which is one of the strongest quality ricochets we've had yet.

blood oath (ds9):

okay, so the summary said "three klingon legends" but what i didn't realize is that they were all REAL KLINGONS FROM THE ORIGINAL SERIES

i have to pain this picture for you, whoever is reading this. the three klingons in this episode appeared in "errand or mercy" "the trouble with tribbles" and "day of the dove." like, they really came back to reprise their roles almost 30 years later. i'm going to paste a picture but uhtw 60s blackface

now, if you're a tos viewer, you may recognize that fella in the middle as also having played the titular squire of gothos in. "squire of gothos." now, as an episode, i find "squire of gothos" to be pretty mid, but there is one specific scene that really did something for me. to me? it did something TO me. what it did to me was send me off the fucking deep end, i wish i could convey the depths of my madness with human words

(still screenshot grabbed from this infinitely more amazing gifset, give it up for @maulthots for enabling me, no literally please go through her gif tag and reblog her gifs)

anyway, before my good and wonderful friend so kindly made this gifset for me, i did maybe sit in front of my pc and replay the clip upwards of [mumble] times a day because i was very, very unwell. when i watched this scene for the very first time what happened to me in that single instant was the bone-deep realization that james t kirk (tos and aos) ate fascists on tarsus iv, probably, and he'd fucking do it again because nobody tastes better than a fascist! i wrote an entire fanfic about it, sorry for the spoilers.

what does squire of gothos and tarsus iv have to do with ds9? well first of all every star trek episode is secretly about tarsus iv so jot that down

but secondly, i've watched this clip so many times i have to hide my face when this man shows up in trouble with tribbles. now, i'm not so good with faces, but i KNOW THAT VOICE. but i know him AS the squire of gothos. i frequently forget entirely that he also plays a klingon, so i didn't recognize his name. so when i heard the squire of gothos's voice come out of a random klingon's mouth in ds9 my immediate kneejerk reaction was "no i am hearing things that can't be--" BUT IT WAS. i PAUSED the episode so i could look iy up, realized that the guy in the drunk tank was kor or "do you have a tongue you will be taught to use it" fame, and then to my eternal glee, kang shows up next

i remembered reading once that kang came back later and i was like ??? no one comes back later on tos BUT HE DID! I JUST HAD TO WAIT FOR IT!!!!! mystery finally solved...........

once i recognized them this episode was a blast. absolutely loving these 100 year old klingons getting ready for a rip roaring rampage of supercentenarian revenge. i was VERY sad that they died at the end but at least presumably they all died together (didnt see the last one go down but im just assuming he lived long enough to eat the albino's heart and then die)

(the albino is a really funny concept by the way like he's not even albino he's just a white klingon)

other notable things about this episode: firstly, quark hiding behind odo at the beginning. classic. secondly, dax actually being a good fighter ?!?!?! and finally, a true passing of the bechdel test where dax asked kira some alarming and upsetting questions about killing people and kira immediately took her aside and MADE her talk. i love. Women. and also women who murder people. i support womens wrongs.

i even love that the ONE time sisko doesn't back up one of his people it's for a good reason (doesn't want the 27yo reincarnation of his father figure to die on a klingon suicide mission)

10000/10, absolutely stellar ep, zero complaints

journey's end (tng):

oh boy.

just about the coldest bucket of fucking water...

you know, we tried to give this episode the benefit of the doubt actually. we were like "maybe this was progressive in 1994. i mean they ARE saying that moving these guys forcibly would be bad" and i mean like what would we know about what was progressive in 94? we were 5. so we checked and um i don't think anybody liked it in 1994 either

devastating that THIS has to be a wesley episode bc i wanted a better sendoff for my boy. "i had a vision and now i'm leaving starfleet" and yes they said the word vision in the most derogatory way possible. jesus christ

TRAVELER ALIEN RACEFAKING? HE PRETENDED TO BE NATIVE AMERICAN TO GIVE WESLEY THE VISION? and then he was like haha don't you know all that stuff is fake. (picard earlier in this episode "i am sooo respectful of your beliefs")

furthermore when picard was like "oh yeah this guy blames me for the crimes of my colonizer ancestor" girl at no point did he say that. idk if white people should go around accusing other white people of white guilt so i don't say this lightly but jesus christ captain picard can you tone it the fuck down buddy

i came across a gifset today of picard from season 5 (idr the episode) going "starfleet doesn't want officers who blindly follow orders sayign you're just following orders has been used to justify too many tragedies in our history" and then smash cut to this episode where he's like "well i tried but yeah i'm gonna have to move you sowwy :/" like good lord.

anyway it's a bummer these last few eps of tng have been less than great bc ik tng is capable of good episodes and i was hoping this series would go out on a high note. but it's going to end the same way it began with us waiting for something good to happen and throwing popcorn at picard

TONIGHT: ds9's "the maquis part i" and tng's "firstborn." i am Braced. for trouble.

[wizard-finix]

Been having lots of fun with LoZ again since TOTK came out and I keep thinking abt good guy ganon AU, and I ended up thinking so hard about it that I accidentally formed a. questionable crack theory about the divide between Ganon and Demise

so naturally I'm about to make it everyone's problem. lets go

Ok, so Ganondorf has been fully human in more than one of the games. Evil, yes, and possessing dark magic plenty of times, but undoubtedly still a man. Meanwhile, the fully fledged Demon King/Calamity is clearly Demise. The difference between these two is very stark.  

What if they're actually not the same person? What if Ganondorf and Demise didn't originally share the same spirit?

Demise is not mortal. His exact words were that "his hatred would follow them forever". If we took that a bit more literally, we could interpret that as the lingering Malice and dark magic Ganondorf utilizes in the series instead of Demise himself reincarnating alongside Link and Zelda.

If Demise and Ganondorf aren’t the same person, then where the hell did Ganon come from? Why does he reincarnate?  

Idea: Demise didn’t just curse the hero and the goddess, he cursed everyone there who had a hand in his downfall.

Now this is just an idea, but let me elaborate.

There are 4 major reoccurring characters in the Legend of Zelda series. Yes, 4, you read that right. Those characters are Link, Zelda, Ganondorf, and Impa. Impa appears less than the other three, but she holds enough weight in the story and has appeared often enough (around 7 times?) that I will be counting her, especially for the sake of this argument.

Anyway

Back to the curse thing

Excluding Demise and Ghirahim, there were 4 people present at the final battle with Demise in Skyward Sword: Link, Zelda, Impa, and Groose.  

The first three are reoccurring characters, but how does Groose factor in?

Well, if we assume Demise is dead with only his Malice left behind, and that Ganondorf's spirit didn't come from Demise…  

You see where I'm going with this.

(Yes I will admit this is a stretch because ganon is a serious character and groose is… groose. But LOZ still takes itself 100% seriously despite how ridiculous some parts of it is, and I'm having fun with this crack theory so consider: I do what I want)  

“But ganon is evil! And they’re so different!” yes. I’m getting to that

What are Groose's most prominent character traits? Tall, muscly, red hair, very mean-spirited and selfish (at least before he pulls himself together and helps Link, who he originally hated due to his crush on Zelda). He isn’t very smart, and he isn’t all that brave compared to Link, he’s mostly driven by his personal desires (for better and for worse), and usually resorts to brute force to achieve his goals.  

If you've noticed a pattern, you would be correct: these character traits all align closely to the holder of the triforce of power.

(insert thonk emoji)

There's also that one crack theory already floating around that the Gerudo are distantly related to Groose because of his dumbass red hair and that Demise keeps reincarnating as a Gerudo because of the fact that Groose catapulted bombs at his face, so y'know. There's also that

Anyway that's my spicy crack theory for the day

The spirit of Ganondorf actually came from Groose, and the Demon King/Calamity came from Demise

Obviously I don’t ACTUALLY believe this theory but yknow. what if lmao

(im aware of all the less than fun implications that comes with this crack take, but that's for another day)