#im determined to destroy myself i think

[quillinhand]

ep 6 of bloodhounds was fucked up.

[rockandrolldisgrace]

fuck my life

[greenunoreversecard]

Don't hide your pain

-> Angel dust x reader

A/N: I made this of my own violation. I needed to therapize myself

Reader POV, ftm male, who's ✨️traumatized✨️

It always starts like this.

Things go well for a while. Things go great, even.

And then it gets bad. And it stays bad, and i ruin every close relationship and im alone.

And then it repeats.

I just wish I could be better. I guess that's why I'm at the hotel.

Things have been good for a while, so good, infact I though the cycle could be over.

Angel brought so much light to my life. He made me feel so happy, and wanted and needed.

And I was so much better. But it seems like the happier I was the worse i fall.

I sigh, rolling over in my bed, grabbing my phone. Fuck it's late in the day. Charlie will be upset, but i cant seem to care. I just- I don't wanna leave my bed.

I look away from my lockscreen, a blurry picture of angel in my Hoodie chasing after nuggets, who has his phone in his mouth, trying to run away with it. It caught angel off guard, and i was laughing so hard i couldnt get a steady photo.

Its one of my favorite memories. I feel a small smile tug at my lips, but my body and my face feel like led that I can barely move.

Theres a knock at my door.

"Hey, baby. Are you ok? Haven't seen you in a day, and I wanted to make sure ya alright.." I hear his quiet voice as the door squeaking lightly as Angle peeks in, silhouette gently illuminated from the light in the hallway.

I grumble in reply and roll over. He sighs, and for a moment I think he leaves but i feel him sit on my bed, next to me. I can feel his warmth. Despite having the features of a cold-blooded spider, he's always run rather hot.

He rests his hand on my back.

"Baby, I can't help you if you dont talk ta me"

Irritation rises in me.

"Don't. I dont need you. I dont need your fucking pity. Just fuck off, please." I say, voice rough and shoulders tense.

His determination doesn't deter, though.

"I don't pity you, love. I just wanna help."

I know my irritation is irrational, logically. But I can't help being angry. Angry I am this way, angry I'm so helpless. And I'm ahry he has to see me like this, considering he has it so much worse. He deserves better than this. Better than me. But I can't seem to stop the slow of my defensive anger, vomiting out words I'm uncertain seraid him I know they do me coming out my mouth.

"Don't pretend, angie."

"I'm serious, though. I want to help."

"Don't play with me. I don't need you, and I don't need your pity."

"Why are you doing this?"

This freezes me. I tense. I don't know why I do this. I don't know why I'm hurting him. I don't know why I'm hurting myself by hurting the only person thats treated me like a fucking sentient being..

I realise, at this point, he's as rigid as a brick, and I look over at him. He tears in the corners of his eyes, eyes slighrly red from the effort it takes to stop his tears. His hair is a mess, and he's shaking, God's he's shaking.

"I- please, sugar. I just wanna help you but- but I can't if you push us away. I you push me away. I- I don't wanna lose you. I can't fucking lose you. And I can feel you sliping and its- it's scary. Please, if not for you then for me."

At this, a sob wracks its way through my body, every viceral emotion I've held back hitting me like a dam destroyed. Apologies spewing through my lips like it's a lifeline. And in a way, it is. Because, I know hes right. And I know if I continue on the way I do, I'll be destroyed at my own hands. And I'll lose him, I'll lose my lifeline.

...

..

.

I don't know how long I cry for. It's all kind of blurry, really. I know i tell him everything ive hid from him about my life through choked sobs, and at some point he's holding me to his chest, gently stroking my hair, touch gentle but deep, afraid to let me go as if I'll disappear, or break like glass.

The good never used to last for long, but maybe this time I can make it last forever.

So long as I have him.

--------------

End note: vv rushed lmfao. Anywhore, hopes this gives a small gauge as to my writing style. I can also try my hand at different possibilities.

Hope ye likey likey

[liesmyth]

Ok so im antichrist gideon anon my bad i only noticed this rn.

Ok so technically, from a catholic point of view, alecto technically fills more requirements for being God than John does. Most relevant for us rn, the requirement she fulfill is the tripartite god (which im unsure is actually the term in english), ie: the father, the son, and the holy spirit, or alecto, nona, earth.

What does this make John? Lucifer. John was chosen by the earth for a task because he was her specialest little guy (Angel-era) fucked up massively, destroyed the world, got humanity kicked out of "eden", and even now torments their descendants for the same reasons he did then, is, technically, a False God, and depending on which interpretation of Lucifer's actions and background you have, actually does have similar reasons to John (At least regarding rage at the unfairness, him and his buddies getting fucked up for it, his buddies becoming "demons" like him, ie necromancers. Idk if lucifer was an environmentalist.)

Now, Gideon! As we have established in this allegory John's Lucifer, she does get the Antichrist treatment automatically, but she also has ascended to a place of social prominence, her showing up as John's daughter has coincided with stuff you can technically argue sorta relates to the Armageddon (the demons being released, the war against demons, the fucking possession stuff which may qualify as a plague) and she also distracts the followers of Actual God (Get in line thou big slut), drives them to wickedness and to harm others and themselves (Harrow, lyctorhood, their rivalry, the lobotomy), but she's also necessary so people can, yknow, get into heaven and for things such as the apocalypse to happen (Protagonist— I mean her blood opens the tomb and that's needed for God Alecto to wake.)

Anyways this was prompted by me stumbling across the term Lesbian Jesus again, pausing, and asking myself "Is she, though?" Which through this very well organised essay we have determined, she is not.

Nona is the one who's lesbian jesus.

this is a GEM of a thought to receive in my inbox I'm honoured you graced me with it! the part of me who was obsessed with Paradise Lost at age 17 loves your argument for Lucifer = John.

I think TM treats catholic theology in the same way she treats most of her influences, picking and choosing what to keep so but anyway catholic lore expert @monstrousgourmandizingcats get in here. do you have thoughts 👀 🙏

[shippyo]

Question for life: What’s your relationship with Morpho?

[this ask will have my own lore related to Morpho hope ya all enjoy💖]

also,i think [this] soundtrack might fit🩷

Morpho...Yes, she is very special to me, she is my daughter, the first of all, I reborn her myself with my own hands,lemme tell you the story...

Before long,long ago in immemorial times, far from when it all began but close to the dawn of it, Morpho was another and a completely different being, a young girl from a world that feels lost even in my memory,that, somehow in a way that I have never known,fell to my dimension, wounded, confused, with living tears.

I remember that being when asked who I was and after I explained myself she told me

"Why have you been so cruel to me?"

That paralyzed me,i..i been cruel,it was the first i realized such thing that my whole existence is contradiction,i bring wonders yet suffering to all living beings,even if im not able to control what happens.

That poor being cried for every terrible misfortune that occurred in her life, abuse, wars, the fall of her world, she was still alive, of course, but she begged me not to return, not even to go to the afterlife and rest in peace, no, the pain that her tears brought was so breaking that she wanted to disappear from existence itself.

Obviously it's not something I wasn't going to do, I COULDN'T even if I can do it, it was unfair, it wasn't her fault that her life went so miserable to such disgrace thought in her mind came into it with no return to change it,she was lost, in exchange, I asked her permission to not go to such path, but rather be something new and somehow,she accepted, thinking that would end all.

In all honesty, at that moment I was not clear about the extent of my power, I knew that I had it and that I could do something outside of normal understanding for others but that pulse in me screamed for act different and so, I grabbed her face and my hands shone with intense light.

Without realizing it, the body disappeared when my palms closed, I felt fear for the first time thinking i destroyed her being, but I suddenly felt the flutter of a butterfly.

When I opened my hand, that butterfly that you all know so much came out and it didn't take long to complete its own metamorphosis as a new being.

The being before Morpho had disappeared, my power had a price to pay, in a way.

I don't know the reason but all those who are reborn from my hands forget in a certain way their old being, not as if it had never existed, they are not unconscious of what they experienced, but their souls feel pure,different and determined in wanting to defend life in being a new them, I feel them as an extension of me and they are condemned to a strange line where they cannot die for being so tied to me and yet even if she knew this she...

Looked at me happy, with a passion for living on her face that was not there before and thanked me for what I had done, although she felt sadness for her former self and her past,she now understood how beautiful it was to be there.

From there she named herself, "Morpho" and she felt indebted to me, although I did not want to,she insisted that to fight for me, defend, be the judge of beings of all those infinite dimensions, save others like who she was before, I do not like to feel that Im using her because I accepted her like some short of puppet, but even so, she has always seemed happy since then to serve me as a knight of life.

From then on, I was her mother and hundreds, billions like Morpho today are part of this family and I love them all equally.

Although...sometimes I wonder if I could use my power to reverse that strange "immortality" that ties them to me, I wish they could continue happy as they are now, but return to the mortality of life so that they finish their true cycle and not be attached to such tasks..I know I can and maybe one day I will have the courage to do it for the first time.

@kirbyoctournament

learn more of life lore [here!]

[differentpostrebel]

Lost and Found: A Pirate's Promise

Chapter 31: The Devil's Playground 

A/N: And we are back at it again with another chapter! Sanji Pov, will be for Chapter 32. This one was also my favorite chapter to write cause this one we get to where Doflamingo places everyone in the bird cage, we get a Luffy POV, and has listed out the 12 names. And as an added bonus… well let me not get to ahead of myself (heheh) thank you guys so much for reading and following along! Thank you for the likes, reblogs, comments, follows, interactions everything. Im grateful for each and everyone of you <3, but without further a do… lets get to it!

Word count: 

Law POV… 

A few minutes had passed since Doflamingo dragged you into this wretched room, and you were still struggling under the binds of his strings. My thoughts were interrupted as Doflamingo’s voice cut through the air, filled with irritation.

“I thought your only objective was to destroy the Smile Factory,” he said, his tone dripping with annoyance. “Strawhats are teaming up with the little people from Greenbit. Seems a bit capricious, don’t you think?”

“Little people?” I echoed, my confusion evident.

Doflamingo continued, his words sharp and probing. “While you’re at it, tell me how the Strawhat crew managed to get into the underground port. They’re doing a fine job at pissing me off.”

Y/N let out a low laugh, her voice defiant despite the pain. “Worried that your dark secrets will come to light?”

Doflamingo’s gaze darkened, and he moved towards you with a menacing stride. Before he could reach you, Baby 5 stepped forward and slapped you across the cheek. “The young master wasn’t speaking to you, harlot!” she said, her voice cold and full of disdain.

Your face remained defiant, even as you laughed again. “Baby 5, didn’t we have this conversation back at Doffy’s quarters? Unless you want to end up like that dent I just made, choose your words wisely!”

Baby 5’s resolve faltered, and she retreated to Buffalo, her face flushed with frustration. “Don’t do it if it’s going to make you cry,” Buffalo said, attempting to comfort her.

“I already told you I have nothing to do with them anymore. Our alliance ended; whatever they’re doing out there is none of my business,” I said, trying to maintain my composure despite the strain.

Doflamingo’s expression darkened as he turned his attention back to you. “Hmm, I’m not sure if you’re telling the truth or if you’re just as clueless as the rest of them,” he mused.

Without warning, he grabbed y/n, lifting her into the air. “Let me go!” y/n yelled, her voice filled with desperation. “Y/N!” I shouted, trying to reach out to you.

“Doflamingo, let her go!” I demanded, my voice raw with urgency.

“Why should I?” Doflamingo said, his smile widening cruelly. “The princess is no longer an ally of yours, which means she must have known about the plan.”

Y/N turned her head slightly, her eyes widening as tears welled, but her demeanor remained unbroken. “She saw something,” I thought, trying to piece together the situation.

Doflamingo’s smile turned sinister as he hurled you towards the wall. The impact made you jerk violently, and a cry of pain escaped you. “Y/N! Princess, please talk to me!” I called out, my voice cracking with concern.

Y/N gasped for breath, her body wracked with coughs from the force of the impact. Your labored breathing and the pained expression on your face were a crushing blow to my resolve. I felt helpless, my own restraints making it impossible to reach you.

Luffy POV… 

Zoro stayed behind to handle Pica while Violet and I managed to get away. “I’m coming for you, Mingo!” I shouted, determination fueling my every step. As we navigated through the palace, something caught my attention—dents in the walls, smashed pillars, and debris scattered around.

“What happened here?” Violet asked, her voice laced with concern.

I chuckled, a wide grin spreading across my face. “Y/N made a path for us to follow.” I could feel my energy surging just thinking about it, and I started running faster. The trail led us to a window that overlooked the room where Traffy and Y/N were. “Traffy and Y/N are in there! Now’s the time!” I got ready to burst in and kick Doflamingo’s ass.

“Wait,” Violet grabbed my arm. “You have to wait just a little longer. The Tontatta tribe hasn’t completed Operation SOP yet!”

“The what?!” I shot her a confused look.

“Never mind the details,” Violet sighed, “the point is, we need a few more minutes.”

I ducked behind cover with Violet to avoid being seen, frustration building up inside me. Every second felt like an eternity. Just then, I saw it—Mingo had Y/N in his grasp. She was struggling, fighting with everything she had. My fists clenched, and I could feel my rage boiling over.

“That’s it!” I growled, getting ready to charge at Doflamingo.

“No, you have to wait a little longer!” Violet hissed, holding me back.

“My crewmate is in danger!” I shouted, my voice barely containing my fury.

As if she heard me, Y/N locked eyes with mine. For a brief moment, time seemed to freeze. Her eyes widened, and I saw tears welling up, but even through the pain, the defiance in her gaze remained strong. Then, with a cruel twist of his hand, Doflamingo hurled her against the wall.

“Damn it!” I muttered through clenched teeth, watching her struggle to rise, her body showing signs of exhaustion. “Hold on, Y/N, just a few more minutes.” My fists shook with impatience, ready to explode the moment I got the signal.

I couldn't take my eyes off her—she was holding on, and I had to make sure that when the time came, I’d be ready to fight

Y/N POV… 

I saw him... I saw Luffy! He's finally here. I just need to buy a few more minutes. Just enough.

Doflamingo's cold hands gripped me again, hoisting me up before placing me roughly back into the chair. My breathing was labored, but I caught a glimpse of one of my blades peeking out from the binds. Slowly, carefully, I began moving my left hand toward it, desperately trying to grasp the handle.

As I struggled, my fingers finally wrapped around the blade. Yes! I thought triumphantly, working quietly to cut through the string binds. The faint sound of ripping meant progress. Just a few more...

Suddenly, I heard Doflamingo’s voice, his tone as cold as ever. “Trebol, bring Sugar to the palace, and quick.”

Trebol's slimy voice crackled through the call. “Take it easy, Doffy, they tried to pull one on me, but I’ve got it under control.”

What the hell does that mean? I thought, my heart pounding in my chest.

“I’m fine, young master,” Sugar’s voice added, her tone eerie. “The enemy is barely conscious anymore.”

I let out a low laugh, feeling the last of the binds around my legs finally snap. My mobility returned. "She’s wrong, you know," I muttered under my breath, still clutching the blade in my left hand. Channeling every ounce of energy I had left, I focused it into the blade, a faint glow illuminating its edge.

Doflamingo’s footsteps echoed as he turned his attention back to me, his predatory smile widening. "I see you're still defiant, my little princess," he purred, approaching with slow, deliberate steps. "Maybe you need a reminder of who's in control here."

"Y/N! What are you doing?!" Law shouted, his voice strained with desperation.

Doflamingo was getting closer. My grip on the blade tightened as I felt the pressure of his looming presence.

Suddenly, his hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing tighter than before. I gasped, struggling to breathe as his fingers dug into my skin.

Trebol’s voice crackled through the room again, this time sounding panicked. “I gooped, I gooped real bad!” he cried. “She got scared, she got scared and passed out!”

Doflamingo's head snapped towards the transponder snail, his teeth grinding audibly. His hand loosened around my throat, and I gasped for air, my lungs greedily filling with oxygen again. He released me entirely, his fury redirected.

“Is this some kind of joke?!” he growled, his voice low and dangerous.

Trebol’s sobs continued, echoing through the snail. “The toys we collected for over a decade... they’re turning human again!”

Buffalo, wide-eyed, pointed to the screen in the room. “Hey, look! In the colosseum!”

Doflamingo's gaze whipped towards the screen, his eyes narrowing as the scene unfolded in front of him. One by one, all of the toys were reverting to their human forms, along with the memories that had been stolen for years.

His jaw clenched, his attention entirely absorbed by the chaos unfolding on the screen. His empire, his carefully guarded secret, was falling apart. The memories of everyone he had manipulated were flooding back, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

This is my chance, I thought, feeling my strength returning. With Doflamingo distracted, I ripped the remaining string binds from my body, finally freeing myself. I stood up, rolling my shoulders, feeling the satisfying weight of mobility return.

“Sir, all these emergency reports keep flooding in!” a guard stammered, carrying an armful of ringing transponder snails. Panic was spreading fast.

The chaos in the room was palpable, and it was almost hilarious to witness. Doflamingo, usually so composed, was unraveling before my eyes. I smirked, savoring the moment.

“Didn’t think your secret would be out, did you, Doffy?” I taunted, my voice cutting through the noise.

I stood tall now, no longer bound, my eyes burning with defiance.

Doflamingo turned to me, his eyes widening in shock as he saw that I was no longer bound by his strings. My swords were back with me—one hidden in plain sight and the other, glowing with a faint yellow light, clutched tightly in my left hand as I channeled my energy through it.

“You’re going to pay for this!” Doflamingo snarled, lunging at me with fury in his eyes.

I didn't hesitate. With my left hand still clenched, I lifted my leg, speeding past him in a blur of motion. As soon as I was beside him, I swung my right fist, channeling all my strength into a direct punch to his chest. The impact sent him flying into the wall with a deafening crash.

My body trembled slightly, my breathing heavy as I stood back, lowering my right hand and unclenching it. I smirked, my voice calm yet triumphant. “Looks like I won , Doflamingo.”

I made my way over to Law, still cuffed by the sea prism stone handcuffs. His eyes were wide, a mix of relief and frustration on his face.

“Princess, you’re so reckless, you know that!” Law yelled, his voice strained. But when I looked into his eyes, I could see it—relief. He wasn’t angry, he was just glad I was okay.

I grinned teasingly, leaning in a little closer. “Oh? Is that relief I see, Law? I didn’t know you cared that much.”

“Tch,” he scoffed, but the faint pink that tinted his cheeks didn’t go unnoticed. “Don’t get cocky.”

Before we could continue, Doflamingo slowly managed to stand, dusting himself off despite the impact. His gaze locked on me once more, and he laughed darkly, stepping forward with a murderous glint in his eyes.

“You think this is over?” Doflamingo hissed. “I’ll crush you!”

I clutched my blade tightly, my muscles tensing as I prepared for the next attack. But just as I was about to make my move, I noticed someone hovering above Doflamingo, ready to strike. A smirk tugged at the corner of my lips.

“It’s not me you should be worried about,” I said coolly.

“What?!” Doflamingo snapped, his eyes flickering in confusion.

Suddenly, a voice rang out. “Kyros, my boy!” King Riku cried, his voice filled with joy and relief.

From above, Kyros leapt down, his blade flashing through the air. “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, King Riku, but for the past ten years, I’ve prepared for this moment. Now, I’m here to save you!” Kyros, with precise and lethal force, swung his sword and severed Doflamingo’s head.

All of us stood frozen in shock as Doflamingo’s head rolled to the ground. Even Buffalo was stunned, his voice caught in his throat. “Doflamingo! You bastard, you’re going to—”

Before Buffalo could finish, Kyros silenced him with a swift slash of his sword. The chaos seemed to settle for just a brief moment, and then I heard the familiar voice of my captain echo through the room.

“Mingo just died?! Well, that sucks—I was going to be the one to kick his ass!” Luffy called out, his voice a mix of disappointment and eager excitement.

I turned to him, a relieved smile spreading across my face. “Glad to see you made it, Captain!” I said, slipping my blade back into its thigh halter as I hurried towards him.

Without hesitation, I threw my arms around him in a tight hug, both relieved that he had arrived just in time and grateful that he was okay. Luffy’s arms encircled me in return, and for a moment, the chaos of the battle seemed to fade away.

Just as Luffy was about to say something, we heard voices from afar: “There they are!” 

Luffy pulled back, his expression shifting to urgency. “Quick, we’ve got to save Traffy!” he said, determination evident in his voice.

I nodded, adrenaline kicking in once more. “Let’s move!”

Sabo POV…

The colosseum was in complete chaos. The transformation of toys back into humans and animals added to the pandemonium. I could see Rebecca and Bartolomeo struggling to make sense of the mess. “Now that the smoke is cleared, let’s uncover the truth, right Rebecca?” I said, as I began knocking on the floor of the colosseum. “There’s a core at the heart of all things,” I continued, my voice carrying over the chaos, “Once you find that, great or small can be undone.”

Bartolomeo looked at me, confusion etched on his face. “You lost me! You still sound cool as hell and I look up to you, but you lost me!”

With my armament haki, I cracked the middle of the ring. “Dragon Claw Fist, Dragon Breathe!” I shouted, the force of my attack breaking the ring apart. The structure began to collapse, and the water below started to pull the debris toward the center. Diamante’s voice came through, filled with disbelief. “What the hell did you do?”

I turned to face him, a determined glint in my eyes. “I got places to be, a princess to see, and a fruit to win!” I said. As the ring capsized and water surged below, I spotted the fish I had been searching for. “The treasure, there she is!” I said, grabbing the Flame-Flame Fruit from the treasure chest.

“You’re all out of bounds, which makes me the victor. Thanks for the prize,” I said, holding up the fruit. I took a bite, chewing and grimacing. “Gross,” I muttered, but the power surging through me was undeniable. As Rebecca began to fall, I rushed to her side, catching her just in time. “Brace yourself, I’m about to light things up.”

I began to remove my disguise—the beard, the shades, and the helmet—letting my blonde hair cascade freely. Raising my left arm, I felt the power of the Flame-Flame Fruit surging through me. “Ace, I take your ability!” I declared, as I unleashed a massive fire fist on the middle of the ring. The impact shattered the entire structure, sending debris flying.

As I descended from the air, Koala appeared beside me. “I got in touch with Hack! He’s waiting for us!” she said.

Works for me,” I replied with a smirk. “I have a princess to see.” We landed on the pavement below the Colosseum, the chaos of the battle still ringing in my ears.

“Be careful! Now that you’ve eaten a Devil Fruit, sea water weakens you!” Koala warned as we hurried through the streets.

“Got it,” I said, my mind already on finding Y/N. We reached Hack, who was waiting for us.

“What happened to your hand?” Koala asked, noticing the bandage.

“Oh, that? I fell,” Hack said, looking away with a hint of embarrassment.

“You fell? Are you sure you’re not hiding something?” Koala teased.

“Anyway, here are your clothes!” Koala said, handing me the familiar attire. As I put on the gloves, one of them caught on fire momentarily.

“Looks like I’ll have to get used to this,” I muttered with a wry smile.

“Who are you? Come out and say it already,” Rebecca said, with Bartolomeo standing behind her.

“Me?” I asked, grinning. “The name’s Sabo. We’re members of the Revolutionary Army!”

“So, does that mean Lucy is also with you?” Rebecca inquired.

“No, we’re both enemies of the World Government, but he’s going to be the King of the Pirates,” I said, my grin widening.

“A Pirate?!” Rebecca exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Yep, and he’s my brother. Surprised?” I said, feeling a mix of pride and nostalgia.

“Crazy, huh? And he’s still the same reckless kid I remember. Reminds me of someone I know,” I said, my thoughts drifting to Y/N and Luffy.

“Funny, I could say the same thing about you,” Koala said, adjusting my top hat with a teasing smile.

“Give me some credit. I usually think things through,” I retorted, trying to regain my composure.

“Oh really? I doubt that’s what Y/N would say,” Koala said with a smirk.

I blushed. “Now what… I—”

“Oh, so she is here in Dressrosa,” Hack said. “Can’t wait to meet the woman who makes you weak in the knees,” he said, sending me a wink.

I felt my cheeks flush even more. “Yeah, she’s here too, but—”

“Wait a second, you know the beautiful Princess Y/N?” Bartolomeo interrupted, eyes wide with awe. Tears started to well up in his eyes as if he’d just heard the most incredible news.

“Yes, I know her very well,” I said, smirking as a cheeky thought crossed my mind. “In fact, she’s pretty amazing. And, well, she has this way of making me—”

“Making you what?” Bartolomeo asked eagerly, hanging on my every word.

I chuckled, playing along with his curiosity. “Let’s just say she’s got a talent for keeping me on my toes. Sometimes it feels like I’m just a puppet dancing on her strings.”

Bartolomeo’s eyes widened even more, and he gaped. “No way! She’s that incredible?!”

“Yep, and don’t let her charm fool you. She’s got a fiery side that can be quite… overwhelming,” I teased, leaning in slightly.

“Oh man, I’ve heard stories about her, but to hear it from you…” Bartolomeo trailed off, practically swooning.

“Yep, she’s one of a kind. 

Changing the subject Rebecca’s curiosity was piqued as she listened to the reason why we were here in Dressrosa to begin with. "So, you’re here to stop the arms trade? That’s quite a mission."

I nodded, turning serious. “Exactly. This place is exporting firearms that are fueling conflict across the world. We’re here to put a stop to it.”

Hack, who had just punched a box filled with firearms, added, “These weapons are being distributed to various groups and regimes. It’s a huge problem.”

Rebecca looked concerned. 

“If we can uncover the truth, we’ll have something substantial to report to Dragon.” I said

Just then, a familiar voice called out, “Koala!”

I turned to see Koala and Robin embracing in a heartfelt hug. Robin’s smile was a welcome sight. “Robin! ” Koala said. “I thought I saw you guys back there!” Said Robin.

“Hey!” I greeted, trying to keep my composure despite the earlier teasing. “It’s Ms. Robin!”

Bartolomeo’s eyes widened. 

“Run into Luffy?” Robin chuckled, 

“Oh, he ran into more than just Luffy.” Koala said, as she teased, “Yeah, you should have seen his face.”

I felt my cheeks flush red again. “Is he okay?” I asked, noticing that Robin was with someone who was almost unconscious.

“This is Usopp,” Robin explained. 

“He should probably get some rest.” I said, as I noticed he doesn't look to good. 

Bartolomeo’s eyes lit up with admiration. “The Sniper King, right? He’s amazing!” His voice trembled as he began to tear up again.

“Cool it, you weirdo,” I said with a smirk, trying to diffuse the situation.

Y/N POV… 

“Traffy!” Luffy called out, his voice filled with relief as he barreled towards Law. “I’m here to save you!” he added with a dramatic wave.

“Oh good, you’re not dead!” Luffy said, sounding more like he’d just escaped a great calamity.

Law shot Luffy an annoyed look. “Didn’t I ask you to destroy the factory, Strawhat?” His voice was tinged with frustration. “Well, did you?” 

We gathered around Law, and I took the opportunity to sidle up close, gently cupping his face with a teasing grin. “Is that any way to thank us?” I asked, my voice dripping with playful sarcasm. “I mean, I got myself captured by Doflamingo just to lead Luffy here, and even went head-first into danger while you were out cold.”

Law’s eyes widened in disbelief. “You did WHAT?!” he exclaimed, his voice rising with shock.

“Oops, did I say that out loud?” I said, giving Law an innocent shrug. Before he could respond, a voice from the side window interrupted.

“Strawhat, Violet, I won’t let you lay a finger on—” the figure gasped, his eyes widening as he took in the scene. “Now who the hell is this guy?” I asked, looking at Luffy and Violet.

“Young, Young Master… who did this?” the man stammered, looking around in panic.

“Just a sec, I’m going to get you out of here,” Luffy said, grabbing the keys from Violet and approaching Law’s restraints.

“Thanks, but I’ll pass. Our alliance is terminated, so get lost,” Law said, still bound by the sea prism stone handcuffs.

“Quit being so stubborn!” I said to Law, frustration creeping into my voice. “You’re so selfish; I want to keep working with you, so deal with it!” Luffy chimed in, 

“Can you guys quit bickering for just two seconds?!” I snapped, my frustration bubbling over. The tiara, already precariously loose, threatened to fall off.

Luffy’s hands were shaking as he tried to unlock Law’s sea prism handcuffs. “Umm, guys…” I said, trying to get their attention. “You do realize that with the alliance called off, we’re enemies now. If you set me free, I’ll kill you!” Law, clearly irked, said,

“It’s hard enough to unlock these handcuffs with you squirming around. So stop moving!” said Luffy still struggling to get the key in the lock.

“Steady,” Violet said, trying to assist as Luffy fumbled.

Law’s irritation showed as he continued, “You guys weren’t paying any attention to me at all, were you? 

This is ridiculous. Why don’t you do it!” Luffy said about to hand back the Key to Violet.

“I can’t! I ate a Devil Fruit, too!” Violet said, frustration evident in her voice.

“Give me that!” I said, grabbing the keys. Just as I was about to unlock the handcuffs, a sinister chuckle filled the room.

The floor suddenly rose beneath us, causing us all to tumble. I landed right on Law’s lap as his chair toppled over.

“Law, are you alright?” I asked, still awkwardly sprawled on his lap.

Law’s smirk widened, and he looked down at me with a playful glint in his eye. His open sweater revealed his well-defined muscles and the detailed tattoo on his chest. “Well, this is quite the predicament,” he said, his voice low and teasing. “I didn’t expect you to make a move like this.”

I tried to get off Law’s lap, my cheeks flushed from the unexpected proximity. “Not exactly what I had in mind,” I said, attempting to regain my composure.

“It’s the wall guy!” Luffy shouted, drawing our attention.

“Wall guy?!” I echoed, confused.

Doflamingo’s headless body continued to laugh, his disembodied voice echoing through the room. “What a way to go, huh? That was a surprise.”

I took a cautious step back, my disbelief growing. “There’s no way...”

“Mingo’s alive?!” Luffy exclaimed, his voice tinged with frustration.

“Damn it!” I muttered, feeling the weight of the situation. Doflamingo’s mocking laughter filled the room as he continued, “The whole country should be spiraling into chaos now that all the toys have been freed. And for whatever reason, we have members of the Revolutionary Army nosing around too.”

“Sabo!” I thought, my concern for him rising. I clenched my right hand, feeling the power of my rings coursing through me, ready to fight.

“It’s a sad state of affairs at the palace, don’t you think?” Doflamingo taunted. “I’m left with no other choice but to use the Birdcage.”

Law, still chained and visibly shaken, faltered. I crouched down beside him, lowering my voice to a whisper. “Law, are you alright?”

“The Birdcage,” Law muttered, his eyes wide with fear. “You remember, don’t you, Law?”

Doflamingo's mocking laughter echoed across the crumbling palace. "Well, I suppose I shouldn’t delay this further," he sneered, ready to unleash his devastating power.

Kyros, with unwavering determination, sprang into action, his blade poised to deliver another slash. "How can you still be alive, Doflamingo?!" he shouted.

Before Kyros could land his blow, Doflamingo suddenly appeared behind him. “Kyros, watch out!” I yelled, panic rising in my chest.

Doflamingo’s voice dripped with menace as he taunted, “Do you want me to show you how to properly behead a man?”

My heart raced, and I whispered to myself, "How are there two of them?" The palace was now split in half from the sheer force of Doflamingo’s power, but Luffy, in his usual heroic fashion, managed to save Kyros just in time.

“Damn, Strawhat!” Doflamingo growled, both of his forms now looming behind Luffy.

“Luffy, watch out!” I shouted, my voice strained with worry.

“Pentachromatic Strings!” Doflamingo unleashed his attack, but Luffy managed to dodge, barely escaping the deadly strings.

“Gomu Gomu Jet Gatling!” Luffy retaliated, fists flying at lightning speed, but his punches were useless. Doflamingo’s protection remained unscathed, not even a scratch.

The second Doflamingo figure appeared, slashing Luffy across the back, blood spilling from the wound. “Luffy!” I screamed, my heart sinking as I watched him get punched with a crushing force, sending him flying into the wall, creating a deep dent.

“He made a marionette?” I whispered in shock, Violet confirming my suspicions.

Doflamingo, ever the sadistic puppeteer, turned his attention to King Riku, twisting the knife further. “Do you remember the night you betrayed your people, controlled by me? Don’t worry, I’m going to release you all.”

“Pika,” Doflamingo commanded, “I think it’s time you scatter these roaches.”

The ground beneath us trembled violently as Pika's massive form shifted. In one swift move, Pika grabbed us, his stone body towering over the shattered palace, and hurled us all into the air.

“Ahhh!” I screamed, tumbling helplessly, bracing for the inevitable impact.

“Hang on, guys!” Luffy shouted. “Gomu Gomu Balloon!”

With Luffy’s body acting as a cushion, we bounced safely onto the ground below, narrowly avoiding the harsh landing. “He took us right out of the palace,” Luffy muttered, clearly frustrated as we gathered ourselves and looked back up at the towering fortress.

Then, I heard Law’s voice, barely a whisper but thick with fear. “The Birdcage… it’s starting…”

We all turned, our gazes locking onto the sight that filled us with dread. High above us, Doflamingo was preparing to activate his infamous technique—the Birdcage, a twisted, lethal cage of strings that would trap and crush everyone in Dressrosa.

Suddenly, explosions rang out, followed by the sounds of utter chaos. “What the hell is happening down there?!” I exclaimed, as the screams of terrified civilians filled the air. The ground beneath us shook violently, and we all looked up in disbelief—Pika was lifting the entire royal palace away from its foundation.

“He’s changing the terrain,” Law said, his voice filled with tension.

Before any of us could react, the dark voice of Doflamingo boomed over the chaos. A video transmission appeared in the sky, his ominous face projected for all to see. “Citizens of Dressrosa and guests, greetings. Might I have a word?” he began, his tone dripping with malice. “Now that you know the truth, there’s no doubt in my mind that you all plan to kill me. But I’ve prepared a little game for you.”

The words sent chills down my spine as Doflamingo continued, “Your objective is to kill me. You can find me in the royal palace. Take my life, and the game ends. I die, you win. And as an added bonus, I will give you a second way to win.”

We all watched in horrified silence as the video transponder flickered, his sadistic grin widening. “I am about to read out a list of people, so get your pens ready. If you are able to bring me their dead bodies, I will reward you with a sizeable bounty for each and every head I receive. From this moment on, every person in the kingdom is a bounty hunter. The only way to survive is to take the life of another.”

Luffy and I exchanged furious glances, clenching our fists in rage, just as Zoro joined us. Doflamingo’s voice echoed across the city. “Will you join my family? Or meet my demands and hold these twelve fools accountable for the rebellion? Each of these ‘stars’ will be worth 100 million berries each. Let me read the list…”

As the names began to roll off Doflamingo’s lips, my heart sank. “Rebecca… Nico Robin… Foxfire Kinemon… Viola… and Cyborg Franky.”

I tensed at the mention of Robin’s, Franky’s and Kinemons name. “Damn,” I muttered under my breath. Zoro turned to me, sensing my unease.

Doflamingo's voice continued, unwavering and cruel. “Now, for the two-star bounties… Kyros, and Pirate Hunter Zoro.”

I turned to Zoro, frustration bubbling inside me. “He’s not making this easy on anyone.”

Zoro’s usual confidence didn’t falter. “Don’t worry, Y/N,” he said, his tone reassuring, though his eyes were cold and focused.

Doflamingo’s next words sent a shock through me. “Now, let’s move on to the head honchos. I present to you… the three-star bounties. Sabo, the chief of staff of the Revolutionary Army!”

My heart froze. My hands began to shake as a gasp escaped my lips. “Sabo, no…” I whispered, fear clawing at my chest.

“You know him, Y/N?” Zoro asked, his eyes narrowing. I turned to him, whispering softly, “He was… Sam from the all-male island I trained on.”

“What?!” Zoro exclaimed, his shock evident, but there was no time to explain further.

Doflamingo’s twisted voice continued, “Strawhat Luffy… King Riku… and Trafalgar Law!”

I felt like the world was spinning out of control. “This is madness…” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

“And finally, the five-star bounty…” Doflamingo’s voice took on a sinister edge. “The man who has aroused my indignation and resentment more than any other… God Usopp.”

I choked on my own spit, unable to believe my ears. “Usopp?!” I exclaimed, my mind racing. “This is bad,” Zoro muttered, his eyes narrowing. Luffy stood there, just as stunned.

“Out of all people, they give Usopp the highest one?!” I said, clenching my fists in disbelief.

“We have to—” I started to say, but I was cut off by Doflamingo’s final, venomous words. “And, as an added bonus, since I’m so generous… we have the six-star bounty, worth 600 million berries.”

The transponder showed my image next, my title emblazoned beneath it: “Princess” Y/N, a Strawhat Pirate.”

Doflamingo’s smile widened cruelly. “This princess… is to be brought to me alive. That’s right, alive. For those of you wondering why… well, let’s just say I have special plans for her. After all, royalty deserves a proper welcome,” his voice oozed with menace. “And once I have her, I’ll make sure she never escapes my grasp again.”

His chilling words hung in the air like a heavy weight. My blood boiled, anger and fear coursing through me. “Damn you, Doflamingo,” I growled under my breath.

[bitter-panacea]

I don't know enough lore to ask anything more in-depth but talk about what goultard and arty like about each other...

This is really just off the top of my head so I'm certainly going to miss some other aspects

Goultard and Arty have similar experiences with being rejected, misunderstood, feared, hated by society.

Goultard gets called "a humanoid creature" (implying that even if he somewhat looks like a human he's not one), "a scourge", "a demon", "not really a man"

Galgarion : The first issue concerns a humanoid creature that went berserk and rampaged through an entire neighborhood north of Bonta. Starting with the tower of the wealthy Homar Cherif!

Arty's treated a little differently than Goultard solely because he's a dragon. He's alienated while being put on a kind of pedestal. Clustus says just being in his presence is a privilege in itself.

Galgarion : Excuse me? A privilege to meet this monster? He's a murderer, no more no less!

And its true in a way, they're relentless forces of nature who've commited atrocities when pushed to their limits. But amidst the chaos, the fire and blood, they found each other, saw each other. They see each other for who they truly are, understand and accept each other whole, like nobody else ever could.

When Goultard finds Arty has lost control of himself, blind with rage, killing and destroying everything in sight, he doesnt hesitate a second and immediately offers himself to him. You need to take this anger out on someone, and thats what im here for. Goultard longs for someone who can rival with his strength. A fight he knows he might not come back from.

Goultard : Since you need to take it out on someone... and I'm looking for new challenges myself... I offer you a good fight.

Arty isn't scared to take it out on Goultard, he doesn't feel guilty about almost killing him, because he knows Goultard can take it. With him he can indulge the pent-up rage and violence that comes with being a fire dragon.

They love and need each other because they can keep up with each other.

Before that, when Vald was controlling the body, fully amnesiac and unaware that he's a part of Goultard's system, Arty risked his life to protect him. Something no one had ever done for him. He deserves to be looked out for and protected too.

Arty : I'm a feca... I protect... even dumbasses... like you! / Vald: This is the first time someone risks their life for me...

Goultard was still conscious of what was going on and got attached to arty very quickly.

Goultard : Arty!!! There's something you need to know... I have a lot of affection for you! It’s been a long time since this happened to me. It doesn't matter if you understand... With you I really feel like I'm getting back a little humanity!

Goultard's feelings for arty keep growing, which immensely bothers the symbiote, and he eventually abandons Goultard as a weird manipulation technique to later try to get him back. But the plan backfires. Without the symbiote, Goultard is at rock bottom, he latches on to arty and becomes devoted to him. Arty freed him and Goultard owes him.

Goultard : Don't act stupid... Don't leave me alone! What am I going to become if you leave me too? Don't abandon me!!!

Since the very beginning, Arty has a mission that he is determined to achieve, whatever it takes. Goultard deciding to assist him means the world to Arty. He's the very first person who joined Arty on his quest, who believed in his cause but most importantly believed in him, accepted him as a leader. They're extremely loyal to each other.

Arty isnt only the leader, he sometimes takes a role of caretaker for Goultard. Gou heavely relies on him, he allows himself to be totally vulnerable when he's with him. Arty comforts him, calms him down, takes decisions for him, but he also doesn't hesitate to beat him up when he's acting stupid.

Goultard worrying about his lost pet jelly and Arty comforting him. Arty : Alright, that's it! Come give me a big hug! / Goultard : You think she's okay? / Arty : I'm sure she's doing fine!

Goultard needs someone he can surrender to. To give up the fight just for a while. Just like a child, let himself be someone else's responsibility. I believe for two reasons :

Reason 1 - Because Goultard had been made to feel responsible very early in his life. He was tasked with protecting an entire village from monsters since he was just a child. The villagers clearly had no appreciation for him and his mother until he proved he could be useful to them.

Goultard and his mother, Cabotine, both sacrificed to protect the village from taurs. Cabotine : I wonder who the real monsters are, in this world!

Idolized and respected only as long as he fought for them

Young Goultard being cheered on by the villagers after beating Kriture the taur. (He looks even younger in the Goultard special episode than he does in the manga, which breaks my heart)

Great power comes with great responsibility. It comes with unbearable guilt as well. We can see Goultard feels responsible for a lot of the things that have happened to him, even if he had no control over them. He says multiple times that the murder of his wives and children was "all his fault".

Reason 2 - His past with the symbiote. I personally think that understanding Goultard's relationship with the symbiote and the trauma it caused, gives you a fuller comprehension of his relationship with Arty. When he was with the symbiote he was a brutal killing machine but he was under total subjugation, always at the symbiote's mercy. Sequestered and tortured in his own body and mind. But he was never alone and he was desired. The symbiote was OBSSESSED with him. Goultard isn't a prey like any other, he's the favorite, he's the perfect host and he knows it. And whether Goultard loved or hated the symbiote it didnt matter as long as he was his, he never had the choice anyway. (Will probably make an illustrated post focusing on Goultard and the symbiote because there's so much to say)

They're also really stupid and love to beat up people together and theyre best bros 💕

There's probably like a million other things I forgot but I've got to get this thing over with (there's now a part 2)

[gaphic]

hi im really interested in your hot takes on the classpects. as i was reading through that post about how homestuck is about breaking or following the narrative my first thought was about how this probably leads to a very different interpretation of the classpects than ive usually seen, but im not sure if im familiar enough to think it all out myself - and then i saw you mention offhand you have Hot Takes about it so. color me curious?

YOU ARE QUITE RIGHT IN THAT ASSESSMENT!

ok here's my take: it's literally Not That Deep. sburb is an incomplete RPG, not a deity or a greater consciousness. it doesn't actually know what is good for the players personal development. it is entirely skin-deep.

this is reflected in the performatively hollow echeladder mechanic, and in the sprites- who, lest we forget, are NPCs. that's why they're so 'mysterious.' they exist only to keep players on track, and 'the following quest objectives are HIGHLY PERSONALIZED to help you reach your full potential! great answers await you!' is a line written to serve that purpose. jaspersprite drops the facade a little bit and reveals he has no idea what he's talking about, the game is just making him say it

in keeping with this, classpects are not determined by people deep interior selves. they are determined by surface-level observations and by party optimization. the game generates a handful of possible classpects based on traits like 'bookish,' 'pirate' and 'cheerful,' then cross-references that with balanced team builds. the alpha session, being less complete, lacks the party optimization algorithm

Roxy is a do-good hacker (criminal) who uses an appearifier, she's a rogue who makes stuff appear out of nothing. Dirk carries on about being a leader and being toxic, he's a prince who destroys souls. Jake is weak/insecure and ignores reality, he's the 'untapped potential' class with the power to imagine things into existence. Jane is the only one who seems a little less literal, and I suspect that has to do with the Condesce, since she was the one who released the sburb alpha. Condy is a life player, therefore Jane is a life player (plus, she has that penchant for foiling assassination attempts, avoiding death) and she's a maid because Condy wants a handmaid

Aradia robs graves, Dave collects dead things, Caliborn is into murder, time is the death aspect. Callie, Jade, and Kanaya are all artists, space is the creation aspect. Karkat fantasizes about being a member of the royal army and he's obsessed with his blood, he's a knight of blood. I could go on but you get the point lol. classpects are superficial and depend heavily on what balances well, not your personal truth

likewise, I think your average '[closest object to you] + [current weather condition] = your sburb planet' type meme is pretty much exactly how the sburb planets actually work. they're not 'designed to challenge people' beyond the literal quest challenges

i think this reading immediately clears up a lot of apparent inconsistencies in the comic, like how Dave's planet is his own personal hell while Vriska's planet is her own personal heaven. the game doesn't actually know how they feel about these things or what would help them grow

[crushedsweets]

it’s been a while back so i’m w more song analysis!! this is too long i’m warning u now. in fact this might not even be readable im so sorry it’s just. so much rambling 😭

when memories snow (more mitski mm also i got tickets for her tour and i will not shut up ab it!!! she’s so cool!!!!!!!) is incredibly tim coded. the very sinister chords at the chorus, really makes you *feel* him spiralling - and the LYRICS ugh very ‘i’m trying to ignore/suppress my memories but they keep coming back against my will’ slash ‘bottling up all my feelings and forging on with my work. pretending they don’t exist’

hate yourself by tv girl is very nina x kate (in the sense of kate watching nina destroy herself for a man who does not even like her) ough. ‘i think you’d fall in love with anyone who fell in love with you / and they frequently do’ BC KATE DID!! kate fell in love with her!! also ‘i’ll just wait til those arms belong to me’ is so subtly manipulative which is very. yeah. kate’s definitely not perfect and i wouldn’t put her above being like that if she really wanted to. + the deceptively happy instrumental with vaguely dark lyrics = nina being overly outgoing and social to make up for the fact that her mental state is in absolute shambles (poor bby)

the wolf by siamés is both tim and brian but i think leans more brian (what is it with this man that makes me think of ‘walking music’. ykwim? the chain, the wolf, house of the rising sun all remind me of him. all very slow-threatening-determined-walk songs) once again, driving beat, heavy bassline. (i play bass guitar so i love a song w an interesting bass part) i think shows resilience as well as grounding - imo he’s always been one of the more mature / level-headed creeps, to the point he’s very self aware. this man knows exactly what he’s doing at all times. ‘somewhere far away i can hear your call’ even in the future when he thinks he’s escaped from slender he knows deep down he’ll never be truly free…. yes ok

keep myself alive by get scared for jane. she’s so angry - AS SHE SHOULD BE and i feel it’s just a audible version of her rage. ‘i just wanna leave this place behind / everytime i see your face in mine’ because her and jeff have the same burned face thing going on…….. ough. she can never escape from the man who ruined her life. the guitar shifting from this melancholy, reverb-y tone in the verses to the loud distortion in the chorus reflecting her mood shifting from self-pity to raw anger

bonus: class of 2013 by mitski x toby

i should rlly make a playlist for each creep but i use musi not spotify 💔

- 🌙 anon

sorry for making u read all of this ❤️

anon. oh my god. i need you to know how often i think about this ask. and how guilty i feel knowing i shouldve responded forever ago but kept putting it off. im going to respond now with shame. thank you so much for your patience. my god

when memories snow for tim is soooo real. i associate him with a longing for life before slendy, while also repressing it cuz it hurts knowing itll never ever come back. going to bars, hanging out in his friends apartments, going to class, late night driving... "I shovel all those memories, clear the path to drive to the store" i think even the imagery of him shoveling snow out of a driveway gives off that sort of strong, cold idea of him. and 'drive to the store' obv being...proxy work... SO SAD

ALSO FUCK NINAKATE MENTION IM IN TEARS ok listen. theyre both really bad. and i super agree that kate might be a bit deceptive and manipulative (intentionally or not) cuz she wants nina to completely remove jeff and take his place (NOT HIS ROLE, just his place in ninas arms). also "how long will it take before you start to hate yourself and go straight to the arms of someone else" i think its undeniable that ninas obsession with romance is related to her own self image, and kate doesnt really like herself that much either. "im not saying that you love me, im not saying anything" OHH BUT SHE WANTS NINA SOOO BAD... man.

also im absolutely in love with how you take the sound itself into account, not just lyrics. the way you explain the wolf connecting to brians determination, reslience, and grounding presense is SOOO PERFECT and i can see it in the first few lyrics as well. the also "sneaking in the pain, every truth becomes lie / i wont trust myself once i hear your call" THATS TIM AND BRIAN COME ON GUYS DO YOU HEAR THIS

also i love keep myself alive. i heavily agree she has every right to be angry, and thats a core part of her character - rage, grief, strength. "to sleep i of course think i'm stronger now / to sleep i gotta catch myself" im crying. the sleep menton + she feels alone. she has a support system, a literal wife, but she still holds all of her grief on her own shoulders. who the fuck else can relate to being violently stalked for months, walking in on your parents being tortured together, being attacked, nearly burnt alive, then LOSING your parents? also "how could this dark cloud make me stronger now" i think a lot of people would have told her that her experience made her a survivor and made her strong and whatnot. but i dont think she feels that way. i think she feels like a victim, she feels tortured, she feels like that same little girl who'd sleep in her parents bed after a nightmare - but this isnt a nightmare she can wake up from. her parents bed burnt to ashes. there is relief in just letting yourself grieve and hurt - but she's so beyond focused on being strong. and it doesnt make sense to her. doesnt make sense how she can be strong after all of that . but she is, cuz she has to be

ALSO YES OH MY FUCKING GOD CLASS OF 2013 DFUCK FUCKFUCKF FIFJF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK i dont even need to explain why this gets me. yall already know. my god

[rogue-of-heart-classpecting]

ayo im kinda trying to assign a classpect to myself and im stuck between Bard of Void and Prince of Time can u please tell me more bout it?

Ok!!!

BARD OF VOID

The bard is someone who basically thinks, feels, acts, or IS one way for most of their life up until a point where they change fundamentally and become the exact opposite. In a destructive way. For a bard of void, this might look like encouraging people to look things up, explaining things to others, Passively Destroying Void. By encouraging light. They would value knowledge and enjoy learning. OR luck or like water or actual light or whatever. At some point the bard would suddenly realize like… mysticism and not knowing some things is actually the correct… way. To be. Like they change their mind. And then they start destroying shit. Perhaps literally. Burning libraries, shooting out lights, maybe they could even manipulate the heroic/just clock to cause people to die or not die (luck can influence the outcome as seen by aranea and I think maybe vriska I can’t remember). This time they would be Passively Destroying USING Void. Ok? And like let’s not forget they can still passively destroy void as well. And they could destroy using void before. Maybe now they tell people misinformation… they… hmm… using void to destroy… they could thanos snap people out of existence? Into the negative space? That’s destructive. They could perhaps send basically ANYTHING into the shadow realm. And before….. they would have been able to destroy using void… that might look likeeee…. I’m trying to think about gamzee pre-sober. Destroying using rage. I’m thinking about when he tries to pray his computer out of his sylladex and then it doesn’t work so he just grabs it? That’s sort of destroying by debunking… since rage is about the truth. You see what I’m saying? So before, the bard of void could have been like trying to look something up and then just given up and decided it’s best that they don’t know? Something like that. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing for a bard is determining when and where they would snap. Please keep that in mind. They have unpredictable personalities and are very capricious.

PRINCE OF TIME

This is a powerful and scary guy. The bard is kind of goofy and in your face, but the prince is angry and brooding and cold. The prince’s job is to destroy an aspect that…. Hmm…. It seems like the prince’s aspect is a bit of a nuisance in their sessions. I always wonder how hussie could have carefully planned each and every character to represent their class and aspect in every way correctly. The prince’s aspect is maybe a threat to the successful continuation of the session. I think it’s kind of up to them to not get carried away but to sort of clean up the excess aspect. Dirk sort of nuked everyone’s interest in Jake by proving how shit a boyfriend he is. Which was holding everyone back a bit. Eridan… went way overboard with everything. Dirk could have definitely broken everyone’s spirit and destroyed the souls of all players if he was an antagonist. Like eridan. Eridan’s session was like a bunch of naive teenagers expecting to beat this game like a challenge instead of like a journey. And he got rid of that naive optimism right away. Honestly in feferi alone there was hope for a brighter future like beforus which is definitely less bloodthirsty and colonial. And he nipped that in the bud along with every other positive future aspiration the team had. As far as he could, at least. We don’t have a lot of information about the alpha trolls session, but there is a lot of discord and ill will going on in there. I think there’s also much more disillusionment among the players. Granted they are all dead already so that kind of makes it more obvious that this isn’t going to go well. A prince of time might be a really bad sign for the session. Or it could be everyone is lollygagging around and there’s an excess of time and things are taking forever. The prince could like move through time I assume and maybe skip forward. They could perhaps fast forward the session for everyone? Jade was able to manipulate space to affect everyone. Unlike how Dave mostly affected his own timeline. This fast forwarding thing could really screw up everyone’s day. Maybe even like making people too old and decrepit to work like with osteoporosis and shit. Or skipping to the end of the game. That could be misguided and everyone isn’t ready yet or it could be vengeful and vindictive. They could even maybe age the frog (again, misguided or on purpose) and accidentally kill it or something. The time player is supposed to breed the frog. It is NOT the knights job, karkat just did it bc he’s the leader and since he’s not the time player he caused The Tumor. Anyway. Are you more of a fighter or a wildcard?

[ask--eggman]

hey, im sorry if this is a sensitive topic but i cant stop thinking about it, do you recal your attempted suicide bombing in station square? do you recall what drove you to suicide? it must have been somthing awful if it pushed somone as brave and as strong as you to take your own life.. did anyone at all try to reach out? i doubt any of those so-called "herros" tryed to offer suport to somone undergoing sutch agony, again, you dont have to respond if you dont want to, but i truly want to know, and im shure the whole empire will suport you in whatever you were or are going through :)

I'm never one to lose hope and determination and give into defeat but that was just a time when it all got to me. I work so hard to accomplish my goals and put so much time, effort and passion into my plans but something comes along and ruins it, again and again. On that particular day, I'd finally reached my capacity for the disappointment, anger and stress. Not just for that day but for my entire lifetime.

Anyone else inferior and weaker than me would be broken down by failure much more often and much sooner, than the one time it pushed me too far. It wasn't really a conscious decision more than something that hit me in the spur of the moment. At first I just thought I'd at least blow Station Square up if nothing else. There would be some catharsis in that blue pest still not succeeding in saving their pathetic lives.

Oh but then of course the missile had to be a dud. Of course even that couldn't go right. So I just thought "Oh, fuck it all", and went to detonate it by hand. I knew I was going to die and I was going to happily take the whole city with me. Once I'd made my mind up, I felt happy, I had a blast trying to race Tails to that missile. I found myself begging for him to wait for me when he was ahead.

It was something to be determined to accomplish again, one I was sure nobody could ruin this time. One last glimmer of hope to succeed in something, one last thrill racing across the city in my Egg Mobile onward to destruction, then I'd be free from ever having to experience failure again. I'd go out having accomplished one part my plan of destroying Station Square, even if I didn't get to build the empire I always dreamed of.

I was tired of being the one who it all ended in destruction for, I wanted others to experience that devastation. For once, I wanted it to end with their destruction and my success and it seemed like the only way. But I obviously lost that race because here I am today. Well, that snapped me out of it and so I went back to trying to kill the little pest Tails who stopped me, since he's the one that actually deserves death really.

Nobody reached out to me and I didn't expect them to. They're used to breaking down everything I build and waiting for the next time I get back up to try to bring me down again and the cycle repeats. It's always just me alone to pick myself up and keep fighting in the end. But I don't need anyone else. I know if I keep at it, I'll succeed. So I try my hardest to fight to accomplish my dreams and not let my mind slip back into that place.

Anyway, enough about that.

The way I still came back from that and have only become stronger and more successful and determined over time just further proves my power! It's another of the many reasons why I deserve to have all of your support, admiration and praise and be your mighty emperor! So that's to be expected, you wouldn't have a choice either way, hehe~

[likeadog]

my itemswap ishizu! i decided to indulge myself and bring back "naomi"-- i definitely wasnt the first person to come up with a yami ishizu, but when i was 12 i decided to call her naomi because of the one yugioh game that called her that, and she proceeded to live in my head rent free for a couple of years

story + design run down below cut

naomi is the product of itemswap ishizu using the rod on herself to chisel off inconvenient emotions (see: how the rod can be used to split mariks soul across hosts and rip ka monsters out of people by set) like guilt or pity or indignation in order to protect her brother and the pharaoh (ie using the ability to control minds in heinous ways). eventually all these little scraps are Not So Little and form something akin to a consciousness of her own. im not entirely sure how/when to do the emergence but unlike yami malik or the ghosts she takes a name of her own as an act of self-determination and wants to assert herself as a person through a variety of means ranging from claiming the tombkeepers birthright because shes the eldest (ishizus envy of marik) to turning on tkb (resentment of duty) while similar to ymarik in that she can be a bit of a loose cannon, i think the circumstances of her existence greatly soften the blow in the sense that she also carries ishizus sympathy for others and altruistic willingness to die for those she loves. that being said, she can also be a lot more contradictory and conniving than he is.

naomi is not responsible for their fathers death. she wasnt "born" yet. ishizu did that after he took the last piece of the puzzle from marik after he defied his punishment of odion, in order to retrieve it and give it to him. the guilt and conflicting feelings about it are what ishizu first scrapes off her own brain like burnt cheese on a stove that begins forming the basis for naomi

design wise her outfit takes elements from canon + priest set (since isis now takes that role) and the hair looking like wings 1) resembles the rod 2) resembles obelisk 3) resembles wings a la the myth of isis the goddess bc i want to tinker with isis / osiris / anubis symbolism w the ishtars she took off the hair bangles as a way of lashing out at the past and being forced to assume the role of her mother. lots of tradition conflicts in this one. hence also why she assumes the kohl of the heir-- asserting her birthright as the eldest

her fixation on personhood comes from "you cant just make me and treat me like scraps when i never even asked to be alive" & a desire to prove she doesnt need someone else to give her the right to live. which of course correlates to. well. coughs abd looks at the panel abt ishizus birth jungian shadow ahit

and unlike ymarik who was destroyed as a representation of letting go of the burden of anger and hatred the conclusion to their little arc is about reunification and acceptance but thats wip

[up-in-space-reading]

Average Weekly Screentime - Chap 6: Vodka Cran and a Countdown

pairing: Jake Peralta x Amy Santiago

word count: 4002

warnings/tags: college au, texting, drunk texting, text fic (mostly, there's prose a few chaps in), bets, bisexual!jake peralta, jake peralta has adhd, parties, drinking and alcohol, sexual references, implied sexual content (nothing explicit, just suggested its going to happen/has happened), friends to lovers, swearing, mentions of cannibalism, lighthearted threats of violence (typical rosa stuff yk), fluff

read on ao3

Average Weekly Screentime masterlist

Story Summary: texting fic college AU with the squad! It's the beginning of the school year and while everyone else thinks it'll be the same as the previous year, Gina has a feeling things are going to be different and wagers a bet with Rosa and Charles. Told through all the various group chats everyone is in.

Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6 | Chap 7 | Chap 8 | Chap 9 | Chap 10

authors note: here we are with the NYE chapter finally! its a huge 4000 words so I hope you appreciate it and i'm getting started on the next chap as we speak.

hope you enjoy!! <3

Skipping School Is(n’t) Cool

[11:26am, Sunday]

Cameron: Feeling like a real life barbie doll right now

Ferris: explain???

Cameron: Gina took pity on me and has come over to help me find an outfit for tonight

Ferris: ah yep Ferris: thatll do it

Cameron: I have tried on at least 13 different tops Cameron: Gina said she’s determined to have me looking 10 times better than I usually do apparently

Ferris: i think u look great as u are Ferris: dont need to change a thing Ferris: dont let gina push u around too much

Cameron: Thanks Jake. I won’t :)

-

[2:36pm, Sunday]

Ferris: havent heard from u in a while and thought id make sure gina didnt destroy your will to live

Cameron: I am being attacked with curlers

Ferris: uh oh

Cameron: Rosa is here too now, the party playlist has been put on and Gina is about to start her makeup

Ferris: didnt you say she was over at yours tho???

Cameron: She showed up with a duffel bag

Ferris: haha of course

Cameron: It’s nice though, I won’t complain about getting to spend time with them, it might even be a little bit fun Cameron: I’m actually excited to see how my hair will turn out

Ferris: draft message: im excited to see you Ferris: if gina has done it then youll look great!

Cameron: Gotta go, Gina is wondering who I’m messaging

Ferris: byeee ames

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[09:32pm, Sunday]

Four Eyes: Me, Rosa, and Gina leaving my dorm in about 10 minutes. Will we be meeting you guys there or will we go together?

Pineapples: charles and i on the way Pineapples: will see u there!!

Four Eyes: See you there!!

-

Dance Squad

[09:33pm, Sunday]

G-Hive: amy looks fantastic G-Hive: too covered up but compromises were made

Charlese: Gina you’re not allowed to meddle!

G-Hive: i didnt meddle!!

Scary: technically it wasn’t meddling, she was ‘helping a friend’

Charlese: ugh FINE

G-Hive: youll change your attitude when they kiss at midnight

Charlese: you can’t guarantee that

G-Hive: i cant G-Hive: but i will anyway

Scary: I don’t think one ‘makeover’ is gonna make them wanna kiss each other

G-Hive: you have no sense of romance

Scary: something I pride myself on

Charlese: gtg Jake is giving me weird looks

-

Amy could tell Gina was up to something when she kept trying to give Amy a specific amount of drinks before they left and on uber ride to the party. She just kept refusing and was grateful when Rosa eventually intervened and got Gina to stop, joining in the pre-drinks with Gina. Amy wasn’t embarrassed to tell them her and Jake had made a bet but he hadn’t mentioned it so she didn’t want to either, it was their secret. She just hoped Jake hadn’t gotten started before the party otherwise the catch up was going to be rough.

For this year Terry and his friends had hired out an entire bar, apparently having thought of the idea after they spent three whole days cleaning the house after last year’s party. Amy could hear the music pumping from the venue before she could even see it, seeing a few girls walking towards the bar in short dresses and suddenly feeling underdressed.

Although, she took small comfort in the fact that Rosa had gone for a similar outfit template to her – dark jeans and a nice top. Gina had done her makeup which didn’t look much different to how Amy usually does it except a little darker around her eyes and a bolder lip colour, explaining that it was a special occasion and special occasions called for something extra. Amy’s hair had been styled in loose, voluminous curls, they bounced around when she moved her head and it made Amy feel glamorous.

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[09:58pm, Sunday]

Four Eyes: @Pineapples Where are you guys? We’re almost there

Pineapples: we’ve secured a table in the back corner Pineapples: get here quick tho these people are vultures

Four Eyes: Be there ASAP!

-

Jake spotted Amy immediately from across the bar, even through all the people moving around he saw her. She looked as beautiful as ever and he hoped Charles didn’t hear the little sigh he let slip upon seeing her. He then quickly looked at Charles’ drink on the table before Amy noticed him staring at her.

The three girls arrived at the table looking put out at the journey from the door to the table through the sea of people but seemed pleased to finally be there nonetheless. Amy gave Jake a wide smile and it made him feel all warm inside despite the cool temperature outside.

“What’s the poison tonight?” Amy joked to Jake as slid into the circular booth next to him.

“Nothing yet, what do you want?” He asked back.

Amy’s eyebrows raised slightly in surprise at the question before she collected herself and answered him with a simple ‘surprise me’.

Jake nudged to Charles to get up and the two of them went up to the bar to get drinks for everyone. They came back with their hands full of drinks, Jake had settled on getting him and Amy a vodka-cranberry each. He hadn’t wanted to get a drink she wouldn’t like and it was way too early in the night yet for shots.

Thank you’s and your welcome’s were exchanged as Jake and Charles sat back down, once they were seated Gina then raised her glass in the air.

“Happy new year losers!”

A chorus of ‘happy new year’ responded while they all clinked their glasses together in celebration. They spent a while sitting down and chatting over the loud music, laughing at dumb jokes and taking the chance to fully relax. Every so often someone would go up to get a new drink and make the offer to the table, by the time 11:00pm rolled around Jake and Amy were three drinks in.

-

Amy felt like going up and dancing, any other situation and she probably would already be on the dance floor but she was sandwiched into the booth by Jake and Charles on one side, and Gina and Rosa on the other.

Rosa then got up to get another drink from the bar and offered to the table, of which Jake gladly accepted after pointing out Amy had finished her third drink. Jake didn’t let Amy hear what the next drink was going to be, opting to text Rosa the order instead and taking great joy in her eye roll.

-

Bi Besties

[11:05pm, Sunday]

El Baboso: 2 vodka cran El Baboso: 5 tequila shots

-

He handed her some cash to cover the cost and she was off through the bar, Gina following behind her to assist and get another drink for herself. Not long after Rosa and Gina left, Charles spotted Genevieve and all but ran away from them. Amy couldn’t blame him, and she wasn’t too mad about being left alone with Jake. She couldn’t help but nod along to the music while talking to Jake and was keen to down the next drink and have a dance, and Jake seemed to read her mind.

“Wanna dance after this drink?” He asked, leaning a little bit closer to her to ask.

“Definitely!” Amy responded with a smile, her heart thundering at Jake being close enough for her to smell his cologne.

A few minutes later Rosa and Gina returned with a tray of drinks, Amy’s eyes going wide at the line of shots.

“I did get one for Charles but he’s gone so who would care for a second?” Jake asked.

“Mine!” Gina yelled as she picked up two of the full shot glasses and placed them on the table in front of her, claiming her prize before anyone else did – although, there were no arguments from anyone else at her claim.

The four of them clinked the shot glasses together and downed them, Amy was able to hold back gagging but her face still screwed up in disgust.

“Sorry Ames, I had to do at least one shot” He laughed, and Amy joined in.

“That’s fine, it is your prize after all” She waved one hand in dismissal while the other picked up her drink to have a sip.

After the shots Gina had dragged Rosa to the dance floor so now it truly was just Jake and Amy left, and she couldn’t be happier. She loved all of her friends but anytime she got to spend time with Jake was a highlight of her day, and she wouldn’t rather ring in the new year with anyone else.

“C’mon, lets go dance!” Jake was already standing up and held out his hand for Amy to take.

She took some last quick sips of her drink before abandoning it, knowing she won’t be returning to it, then slid out of the booth and took Jake’s hand. He led them through groups of people to a clear spot on the dance floor, Amy stayed close and held his hand tight the whole time. She had expected him to let go once they had made it to the dance floor but he didn’t, instead holding their hands up in the air as an invitation for her to spin underneath. Once she had realised what his intentions were she spun, causing both of them to giggle. He still didn’t let go after that, and neither did Amy.

They continued to dance until suddenly there was an announcement over the speaker that it was nearing midnight, everyone had started to shuffle around and pile towards to the DJ booth to start the countdown. The screen behind the DJ booth then showed a large countdown clock – 30 second until midnight.

For the first time since getting up, Jake let go of Amy’s hand and her heart dropped slightly. But they both stood next to each other, sides pressing against one another as they looked at the big countdown clock. With 15 seconds left until midnight Amy grabbed Jake’s hand in a moment of confidence, happy he didn’t pull away.

Jake and Amy, along with the whole bar, counted down the final ten seconds until midnight. The place erupted in cheers as it hit midnight, cries of happy new year and confetti surrounded them. Couples littered across the bar were kissing, some a small peck and others taking the opportunity to start an intense make out session.

Amy looked at Jake as the clock struck, yelling out happy new year and wanting to be the one who kissed him but she couldn’t strike up the courage. She also didn’t want to kiss him for the first time in a crowded bar where her shoes stuck to the floor and they were surrounded by strangers.

So she compromised on giving him a hug, wrapping her arms around his neck and she could feel him hesitate for a moment before his arms made their way around her waist and pulled her against him tightly.

Amy could smell his cologne and shampoo, it was intoxicating and made her head spin for a moment as she indulged in taking a deep breath of him. Her back burned where his hands were placed, fingers splayed out and holding her against him.

Once the cheers started to die down and the music play loudly Amy pulled away, knowing she let the hug go one for too long but tucking away the knowledge that Jake didn’t pull away either. She slid her hands to his shoulders and pulled back to look at him directly, not realising how close their faces were until it was too late.

The two of them stood there for a few moments, the rest of the world melted away as Amy searched Jake’s face for... something. Jake was looking at her with an expression she couldn’t quite read, a look she hadn’t seen on him before. She thought she imagined it when she noticed Jake’s eyes flick down to look at her lips for just a moment.

“Happy new year, Jake” Her voice was laced with longing, speaking to be barely audible over all the background noise.

“Happy new year, Ames” He responded breathlessly, and Amy could only wonder as to why.

This time it was Jake who pulled back, stepping away from Amy and reducing all contact except for holding onto her hand once more and starting to dance. Amy easily followed along and fell in time with Jake and the music once more, acting as if their weirdly intimate moment hadn’t just happened.

Amy isn’t sure how long they spend dancing until her phone goes off, and she can tell it’s a group chat based on the face Jake makes at the same time she gets the notification.

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[01:42am, Monday]

RoRo: gina sitting on the sidewalk, we’re getting an uber back RoRo: whos in?

Mr Grapes: Don’t worry about me! Will be with Genevieve

RoRo: barf

Pineapples: count amy and i in Pineapples: heading out now

-

Both Amy and Jake had quickly checked their messages at the same time and nodded in agreement pretty quickly at the suggestion of going home, as much fun as Amy had been having, she was getting tired. The alcohol making her head feel heavy and her legs getting tired from the dancing.

Jake kept a hold on Amy’s hand as they pushed their way out of the bar, people becoming a lot less kind and considerate now that they’d had a good amount of time to drink too much. But much to Amy’s disappointment he dropped it as soon as they reached the door, but even Amy couldn’t rationalise there was much need for it once on the street.

After a quick look both ways they spotted Rosa and Gina a few feet away from the bar entry. Rosa leaning against a building scrolling on her phone, and Gina was sat on the ground with her legs crossed and back leaning against the same building as Rosa.

“Jake! Amy! You’re coming with us?” Gina asked happily upon seeing the two of them approach.

“Of course Geen!” Jake responded, immediately matching her energy, “what are you doin’ down there?” He asked standing in front of her.

“Well I’d blame you for the shots you ordered but it was probably the round after that” There was a slight slur to her words and Amy had to hold back a giggle.

“Ah, makes sense” He held out a hand intending to help her up off the ground but instead she slapped it, giving him a high five that made Jake laugh.

Amy leaned on the building next to Rosa, tilting her head back against it and closing her eyes for a few moments. She took the time to breathe in the cool fresh air after having been in the stuffy bar for a few hours.

The uber arrives a few minutes later and the four of them pile in. Jake sat in the passenger seat while Amy was sandwiched between Rosa and Gina in the backseat, the car ride back was relatively quiet, Jake made conversation with the driver while Gina struggled to keep her eyes open while leaning her head against the window. Amy is quiet as she picks at her nails, too many thoughts of Jake swirling around in her head, a head that was not sober enough to deal with it all properly.

They reached campus and climbed out of the car back into the cold, which was now unwelcome after having sat in a warm car long enough to get accustomed to the temperature. Amy shivered as she climbed out and the four of them began the walk to their dorms.

“I’m gonna make sure Gina gets back safe” Rosa said before grabbing Gina by the shoulders and pointing her in the direction of her building.

“Okay, keep us updated. Goodnight guys” Jake calls out as Rosa and Gina walk off together.

“Goodnight!” Amy quickly called out after Jake.

Gina yells back a giggly goodbye while Rosa just raises a hand over her shoulder in their direction, barely sparing them another glance. Amy and Jake continue their walk together in comfortable silence, although Amy can’t help but feel an unexplainable tension has settled over them now.

Amy can’t help but think about their moment at midnight, she wanted to kiss him like everyone else around them, but Jake just wasn’t that kind of guy. If he wanted to be with her, he would’ve made it obvious by now. The more she mulls over the situation, the more upset it makes her; wanting to be with a man who doesn’t want her back, it’s positively heartbreaking.

It isn’t much longer before they reach the spot her and Jake have to split up to go to their respective buildings and Amy can’t decide whether she’s sad to say goodbye to him or relieved to no longer have to be around him.

“So, uh, did you have fun tonight?” Jake asked nervously, shoving his hands into his pockets and shifting back and forth on his feet.

“I did yeah, more fun than I expected. Thanks to you- and everyone else” Amy had to quickly add the last section, feeling embarrassed at her near slip up.

“That’s good, I’m glad. Well um, I gotta go-“ He pointed over his shoulder with a thumb in the direction of his building.

“Yeah of course, me too” Amy nervously tucked her hair behind her ears, needing something to do with her hands.

There was a beat of silence that stretched on almost slightly too long to be comfortable before Jake finally spoke.

“Goodnight Ames” he said quietly, voice laced with sincerity.

“Goodnight Jake” Amy returned easily, as if saying goodnight to Jake is something she’s been doing her whole life – as easy as breathing.

He gave her a small smile before turning around and walking away from her, leaving Amy standing on the path for a few moments just watching him walk away with his hands in his pockets. Finally, a shiver going through her body prompted her to quickly move towards her building, ready to climb under three blankets and defrost.

When she finally reached her dorm upon closing the door she let out a long sigh, trying to process how the night had gone. She moved around the room getting ready for bed, taking off her makeup and putting on her pyjamas and thinking about how late it was.

As she climbed into bed she thought about hugging Jake at midnight, how she had spent most of the evening holding his hand and how she would do anything to be near his warmth again. She practically falls against her pillow, lying on her side staring at her nightstand with her phone sitting there silently.

In a moment of weakness – and perhaps exhaustion – she opens her phone, the screen bright in her dark room. She navigates to her and Jake’s messages and reads through some of them, staring at the last few messages they exchanged before they had left for the night out.

Reading his messages from earlier in the day, he said Amy looks good just as she is – and Amy would blame the alcohol on the tears shed at these simple words, her heart aching.

-

Jake is frustrated beyond belief, he feels like an idiot, like a scared idiot. Too cowardly to even tell a girl he likes her. But it’s not just a girl, its Amy – she’s everything.

When he slams his dorm door shut he feels a bit guilty about how the noise echoes, knowing he woke at least a few people up with the force. He rubs his hands over his face and groans in frustration, before walking over to his bed and kicking the leg of it with enough force to make him curse at the pain shooting up through his toe.

The pain subsides after a few minutes but he still doesn’t feel any better, he’s angry at himself and angry at the world for everything. He’s angry that he’s just had a fun night out with his closest friends and now hates himself.

He doesn’t know what to do, other than angrily get ready for bed, leaving his clothes strewn on the floor for future-Jake to deal with. He doesn’t know how he can even manage seeing Amy again, but he knows he won’t survive without her.

-

Dance Squad

[02:35pm, Monday]

G-Hive: 5 mins be ready

Scary: for what?

Charlese: Post-NYE briefing??

G-Hive: just be ready!

-

[02:40pm, Monday]

G-Hive started an audio call Charlese joined the audio call Scary joined the audio call

Gina: Okay bitches, lets discuss

Charles: I barely saw you guys after I found Genevieve – she’s here by the way, filled her in on all the deets

Gina: Perfect, so we saw them a few times after you left

Rosa: They didn’t kiss, end of discussion. Can I go now?

Gina: What do you mean they didn’t kiss! Rosa you’re ruining the fun of this

Rosa: Oh no, I’m heartbroken

Gina: The sarcasm is not appreciated

Charles: So they didn’t kiss, how do you know this for sure?

Rosa: Fiiiiine. I know they didn’t kiss because the four of us took an uber together back to campus and believe me, they were not acting like two people who had kissed each other

Gina: Goddamn it! When did Jake become such a loser

Charles: I think that’s a bit far-

Gina: No it isn’t! Rosa, how do you even know for sure? What if they kissed but then felt awkward because Amy is awkward?

Charles: That’s a strong possibility, they’re my friends but I wouldn’t put it past them to make it awkward

Rosa: They just need to bone and get it over with

Gina: No sense of romance as per usual. Well we can find out whether or not they kissed

Charles: By asking them? Won’t that make them feel weird

Gina: No Charles, its very easy – we just ask one of them, probably Jake, whether he and Amy have spoken today

Rosa: That’s actually not a bad idea to get an answer

Gina: Rosa approved method!

Charles: Alright then, who’s gonna do it?

Rosa: Not it

Gina: I’ll do it and get back to you- actually stay on call, Charles I can update you about Sasha while we wait for Jake to answer

Charles: Oh absolutely!

-

DDC

[02:50pm, Monday]

G: have u talked to amy today??

Jacob: yeah why??

G: no reason

-

Charles: -why she wouldn’t just tell Matt is so weird-

Gina: Jake responded! He has talked to her today

Rosa: Firstly, Sasha needs to get her shit together, seriously. Secondly, that means Jake and Amy didn’t kiss. For the love of god can I go now?

Gina: Yes yes, bye Rosa

Charles: Bye Rosa!

Gina: Sasha’s honestly losing it-

-

Jimmy Jabbers

[03:36pm, Tuesday]

Four Eyes: Everyone ready for classes tomorrow?

Pineapples: i was trying to enjoy the last of my no class time :(

Four Eyes: It’s important to be prepared!

RoRo: i’m always ready for anything

Queen G: ill be winging it as per usual Queen G: and ill be slaying it as per usual

Four Eyes: Look on the bright side, we’re halfway now Four Eyes: Almost there!

Pineapples: still got the whole second half tho

Four Eyes: You’re gonna be fine, as long as you keep the momentum from last semester

Pineapples: idk ames Pineapples: holidays changed me

Four Eyes: Uh huh I’m sure they did

-

Dance Squad

[03:42pm, Tuesday]

G-Hive: god can they get a room G-Hive: im gonna barf

Scary: not even two days ago you were trying to hook them up

G-Hive: and i stand by that G-Hive: i just dont want them being gross in the gc

Charlese: I think it’s cute!

Scary: gross

G-Hive: gross

Chap 1 | Chap 2 | Chap 3 | Chap 4 | Chap 5 | Chap 6 | Chap 7 | Chap 8 | Chap 9 | Chap 10

authors note: As always thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Your kudos and comments keep me going and motivated so thanks to everyone who's given kudos and commented, i love you all <3 I'll have the next chap out as soon as I can but as usual no promises since christmas is coming up and i've got many plans on (unfortunately), but i'll try my hardest!

[zebulontheplanet]

Hi, I have something to ask. Please don't be hard on me. How do I know what level of autism I am?

I dont know anything about savant stuff, but I fit the stereotype of the intelligent but torment person, and all my problems and difficulties were overlooked because I was smart.

I'm burnout, like I'm only ashes at this point, and I have tried for years now to get professional help, but like they have 0 idea of what even is what is happening to me.

So I think in my support needs, I don't cook, don't do dishes, only "clean" by sorting things, im not in any way capable of maintaining a house, and don't know what level is that, but also struggle with other things like adhd disgraphia dyslexia alexitimia, the thing that transforms period cramps in severe depression (PMDD?), and I already had a job, but literally worked 1/10 of what I should and destroyed the rest of my time, I know I will be not able to do it.

I am not interested in people, never had like any kind of real interactions, the mask kicks in the moment I know someone and then never speak to them ever again, and it really didn't think so much about it until I found a special interests about communicating and found that I really don't get other people, I hear them (badly) and figure it out or just ask and ask, but I only interact with like 3 people and my psychiatrist and psychologist, and most of that time I loss my talking hability or fall right into masking.

I read your post about level 3 and don't know what to think, I don't have help with showers, but like I grew up just standing in the water, and now I have my little system of cleaning myself, but it takes me half an hour because i just snap away, or the water x, or loss myself, or forget the step, or paralized because not capable of transition to next step, or go all day just trying to put myself in the shower but me just don't, and it happens to me with a lot of things, don't eating because not able even with safe food and hunger, ¿is this level 3?

Alexitimia is really a big thing for me, I was forced all my life to do things, and in my childhood, it was a mental and psychological abuse kind of situation, and later, it became a elephant tied to a string kind of thing were I just straight up hurt myself a lot until I just were unable to even stand up, and it keeps happening, but I have put a lot of effort and really taken myself out of any demanding things and try to figure out myself.

¿Is this level 2? I know I need a lot of help, but I just keep arriving at this very bad state and figuring out like one small thing and trying to accommodate it, but then find another barriers, and crashing down.

And I need a lot of help, I think I was just trying to feel validation on that need. Writing helped me figure that. Thanks for the space. My question still stands ¿is this like a regular medium support needs or high?

Hey there. I cannot tell you what level you are. Only professionals can assess levels and determine what level you are.

For as far as high and medium support needs go. If you can bathe yourself, feed yourself, dress yourself, use the toilet yourself, groom yourself, independently, then you’re probably not medium or high support needs. Some need more help than others. Some need less help then others, or only need help with one or two of these things. But if you can do all of it independently, then you’re probably lower support needs.

I’m not undermining your experience. I’m not saying that cleaning, doing dishes, taking care of a household is not a struggle, but those are all iADLs, while what I listed are bADLs. If you only need help with iADLs then you’re more on the lower end of support needs. If you need help with bADLs, then you’re on the higher level of support needs.

Having a strict routine for something and still being able to do it, is still being able to do it. I can’t tell you what your support needs are. I’m not you, I don’t know you, I’m just a stranger on the internet. But if you don’t need intense prompting or hand over hand help with something, then it’s still something you can do.

Level 3 autistic people need help with EVERY step of things, and usually it’s all, or close to all bADLs and iADLs that they need help with. This doesn’t just mean just someone standing there and telling them (although for some it is) it means doing each step for them. Bathing them, putting the shampoo in their hair and physically washing their hair, physically washing their body, physically brushing their teeth, physically feeding them, physically helping them put each piece of clothing on, physically helping them with each and every step of the bADL and iADL.

Thank all, I hope this helps and I hope you get the supports you need and help you need very soon. Have a lovely day!

[carmenthabaddie]

Move in silence 🤫

2024 I’m moving in silence period. Too many losers and leeches who won’t do the work and hate on your success. I recently had job interview and didn’t tell everyone. I won’t know if I got the job till Tuesday or Wednesday.

People tell they plans cause they seek validation and approval from others. At 31 I don’t need people validation or approval. What people don’t know they can’t destroy. I had so many women hating on me cause I refuse to be mediocre. I hold myself accountable and dont point finger or blame others for shit I should be doing.

Some people addicted to they bad habits and bare minimum. At 31 I realized I needed go harder and less excuses. And I’m blossoming into a baddie. I dont care to know what others doing cause I’m to busy worrying about myself. Stop telling your business and ruining your life cause you are naïve about how most people think. Majority of people are losers. Only 1 % of people are winners.

People you call friends should have goals and productive and letting go bad habits, and holding themselves accountable and showing action and not just words. Who don’t gossip about people cause they too busy improving their lives. Who gives you what you give them. Who never drains you and doesn’t play the blame game. I agree and believe you are who you hang out with seriously. Stop hanging and associating with women who are losers and accepts bare minimum and low maintenance and don’t take accountability for themselves and low standards. She will hate on you and backstab you.

2024 I’m focused on myself and my goals. And learning consistency, discipline, dedication, commitment, and determination. I will be having success stories left to right. Most will not know my blessings cause I don’t believe in bragging and most will hate your success. If you gone tell make sure you accomplish the goal first and then tell. But never tell when you are planning and working for the goal. Cause once you accomplish a goal and they hate thei can’t do shit cause you already accomplished the goal.

I will be doing a video on this for my YouTube channel and explaining this with words from spirit and ancestors. 2024 my year. I refuse to be who I was in 2023. Im so happy since 18 I been in therapy and focus on improving myself. It’s been years and I’m finally reaping the benefits of therapy at 31. More black women should go to therapy and heal and do better.

Spirit and ancestors is all I need. I can do bad all by myself I don’t need another human being approval or validation period. Im too much of a bad bitch to care about others approval and validation. I hold and have the key to success and truth is some people can’t go to the promised land with you. We would accomplish more if we got rid of people who are dead weight. I know my worth and is a beautiful and intelligent and hardworking and well put together bad bitch. And stand out and rather hang by myself then fake people.

Got my 3 new wigs. Will try do quick review. Got Chinese food today. And worked out twice today. And did good at job interview. And busy working on my goals everyday. My goal is week of intermittent fasting 16:8. And gym once this week. Really need be stricter and actually go gym and interment fast 16:8. If I have more updates I all update y’all. The glow up level of journey isn’t for faint of heart. 💖💖😍😍😍

[t0ast-ghost]

Discovery thoughts because I can’t contain myself apparently.

Episode 1:

- “They are Coming” heh

- That’s such a beautiful opening though. Like a whole speech in Klingon ending in “To lock arms against those whose fatal greeting is… we come in peace.” WOW just wow

- MICHELLE YEOH ?!? What’re you doing here!

- Heyyy Michael? Thats a pretty cool name :) (That’s my name)

- Absolute slimy of a creature

- SHIPPP ITS DESCENDING IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR COOL SHIP MOMENTS

- okay banger graphics on the opening, yeah we get it you’re amazing

- woah interesting warp imagery

- I lobe Saru already

- Georgiou making fun of Michael and Saru for agreeing with each other

- Interesting outfits. The gold to show higher rank than the silver. And they’re blue cause science…Where’s my pyjamas in primary colours?

- I love the way Michael talks

- Showing the knobs, buttons, and dials, I appreciate this. I’d love to touch all the knobs, buttons, and dials

- This is something Spock would do in tos (Shooting himself through space at high speeds). He’d be like, ‘it’s super logical’ and then McCoy would be like, ‘don’t do that, you idiot’

- SUPER cool landing shot. The bend of the knees, the look of the suit, the sideways shot, I’m in love

- Do you think that death was honourable?

- oh that’s not good. Cracked helmet

- So that’s what the Klingons look like this time. They remind me of lord of the rings a bit

- Cool ass Klingon burial. That’s so cool. I like that they’re leaning more into the fantasy for Klingons this time. That’s such a cathedral looking ship. THERES STAINED GLASS.

- I’m missing so much of their words cause I’m (edit: I meant to say “I’m getting distracted” but never wrote down the rest of the sentence…yep)

- That’s fucking horrible. Why would they show young Michael that clip. It’s obviously from a recent tragedy in her life

- SAREK OMG HI BITCH. Come to be unhelpful I see.

- I love her showing her emotions and using them to aid her logic. RAHHH

- hiii Saru hiiii

- “We can’t destroy another culture’s property on a whim.” Bringing back the extra little wh i see

- BORD OF PREYYYYYY

- Georgiou is so fucking cool

- Intense

- Right before Saru had to make a command decision Michael comes back on the bridge

- His bright blue/green eyes and soft manner of speaking have captivated me

- “Your world has food chains. Mine does not. Our species map is binary. We are either predator or prey. My people were hunted. Bred. Farmed. We are your livestock of old. We were biologically determined for one purpose and one purpose alone: to sense the coming of death. I sense it coming now.” Go watch this goddamn show right now it’s so good already.

- and the admiral is a dickhead.. a complete dickhead

- Why do you have this bitch Sarek on speed dial

- ooohh Michael’s gonna nerve pinch her, isn’t she?

- and she did.

- GEORGIOU COMES BACK FULL SWING WITH A GUN

So that’s the first episode… I’m not going to do this for the full show mainly because I just want to watch it, and less mainly because I find it’s not the right fit for commenting like I did with TOS. TOS is special because all the episodes are their own thing, none of them connect and it’s just about characters going on little adventures. And it’s so camp.

I do have more thought posts to come about other star trek stuff.. so see ya next time :D

Masterpost