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i want to buy my boyfriend flowers so bad that it's inspired me to actually get my car fixed <3
#ive been driving with a huge ass crack in my windshield for a minute now#i wanted flowers really bad recently and its evolved into me just wanting to get him flowers atp#also hes sick so#flowers#i thougjt about getting him a cactus instead cause i think he might like it more#where are the floral cactus arrangements#we didnt do valentines day and like that was my choice but i still clenched my fists at everyone else getting flowers#tiktok brain rot#im excited to go pick some out
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harrow the ninth, gideon pov & seven stages of grief feat. harrowhark nonagesimus
#reposting the harrow page because i finally got the energy to scan it properly#after the main tags ill go over all the small details im excited about bc i want people to have the chance to pick them out themselves so:#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#harrow the ninth spoilers#griddlehark#dudele#john gaius#okay so details:#the halo around harrow (gideon)s head is the iris of an eye#same with alectos eye and 'first flower of my house'#the shadow of one of the iron railings and the zweihander make IX#i referenced that freak bug description from the actual book lmfao i hid the page number in there#dont forget the 'river is a revenant' theory w the teeth as is described in ntn so i added that in there too#i balanced green on both sides of harrow(gideon) with the bug AND the stray leaves from the planet harrow killed-#- the bright green stands out and is supposed to feel unnatural against the orange#for the harrow piece: obviously i replaced like all stages of grief with denial#but i put some random words in there too in the bg/in different colors#to try and represent her forced changing of the 'stages' so to say#behind harrows head in the top right you can see the first two letters of 'acceptance'#if you look closely at alectos hand her fingers are fused together and are smaller proportioned. that is on purpose. ily barbie#i do NOT have a distinct gold marker so imagine all the orange is gold. now look at that last golden denial eye. hi gideon#i also hid stairs in there. haha <=== homestuck
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#bnha#mha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#herovamp.❤️#im sooo excited for all of them and im a little writers blocked and i cant pick so ill ramble in tags!!#💾 is an au where they bond over a fictional gashapon collectibles line on an online collectors forum!’#shoto is a trans girl and she changes her name to shouka -> this is actually pretty consistent across my fics lol#ochaco is really encouraging and supportive as a friend and excited for shouka to visit her though this is kind of misguided because she is#ultimately encouraging her best friend to run away from home LMAO. theyre like super close and consider each other family like ochaco would#adopt that girl as a sister in a heart beat#theyre cutes#very much a focus on pre canon shouka’s relationship with her family aince its through her pov#🤼♀️ was originally based off of the betrayal toni storm and mariah may promo#one that i like a lot#but since ive been watching some early jon moxley stuff like ipw style i really liked the idea of getting more brutal with it#im still going with a sort of midnight as a mentor figure idea and mt lady wanting the glory of her spotlight in their promo#they get really nasty with it#but they have to balance it woth their secret behind the scenes relationship!!!!#like how do you balance that violence with the tender nature of your actual relationship#📖 is my cute little rarepair idea. i like the idea of nejire having massive gay panic over being 18 and being able to work with beautiful#lesbian pros. really funny to me#i wanted to put them in a modern setting with some magical elements i think. just because its something different!#nejire as a college bookstore worker. ryukyu as an artisanal book maker and seller. she gets nejire to intern/apprentice with her and it#turns out the books are made magically!#🎭 kind of obsessed with this one#shouka is tormented by her usual torments. all might has stepped down as number one.#earlier. he’s been restoring a theater as a community project. izuku is really into this and he gets his friends from 1a into it#shouka is like. im not doing thay. but eventually she ends up coming along and slowly she makes friends through the power of theater. maybe#discovers that she doesnt want to be a hero. opens up. discovers herslf. im obsessed with this one.
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you guys wanna see the stupidest thing i have ever done?
izzy hands ita bag
#ITS SO SILLY#id picked up all these things at cons and i was like.... well what Now?#and i do love an ita bag#..... and then i took it Seriously#listen if youre gonna have an ita bag of a middle aged man then you might as well make it An Ita Bag#go all in. decorate her. add the lace. add themed charms. i actually wanted to do more but i ran out of time#i thought about chain and lights too but. that can be added later. ive got some little roses with me if i Get The Urge#nyxtalks#im excited to see how it changes this weekend!!! gotta get some unicorn izzysssss
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My five year old has his very first day of kindergarten tomorrow 🥺🥺🥺 I didn’t expect to be hit with such a huge wave of emotions but I’ve been a WRECK all day
#personal#he’s so excited#we’ve been talking about school for so long and he’s so excited that it’s finally here!#and a little nervous too he said but he keeps asking about the other kids and if he gets to have lots of friends now#he really liked his teacher when he met her and he’s excited to see her#the only thing that tripped him up a little was when I told him that me and his daddy are bringing him to the school but we can��t go with#that he has to just listen to his teacher and we’ll see him after school 🥺#I’m mostly worried that he’s not going to get enough food at school because he doesn’t eat very fast at home#he doesn’t focus well on meals#I’m hoping that positive peer pressure helps him with that#if he sees the other kids eating he will hopefully follow their lead#he’s going to be taking the bus home as well and I’m nervous about that for him too#even though it’s silly because his bus will pick him up in the morning and bring him directly to the school and then drop him off first#after school#he’ll be on it for maybe 20 minutes each day#I just worry too much#i worry about how issues he might have that I can’t help with like what if it’s too cold in just one room#but I don’t know that and send him in shorts?#or what if he gets teased for things I can’t anticipate right now? how can I best set him up for success with his peers?#I only know what he likes not what other five year olds like#I don’t want him to feel like the odd one out#but maybe that’s inevitable at some point#I can’t protect him from the world if im not there 😔#that’s the hardest thing about it#obviously this is supposed to happen and school will be so good for him#but he was a tiny little baby just yesterday#at least that’s how it feels#they say it goes by fast but damn
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i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like
#idk he knows me more than anyone bc i can't hide the parts i'm ashamed of from him#last night he was like. yeah EYE think you have adhd but i'm just some guy#idk i'm excited about this not because i want to be Quirky for internet reasons. yknow. but bc i've felt like an impostor of a human being#and i have no sense of self and i can't get myself to do basic tasks and the thought of doing something i don't want to do#genuinely makes me want to throw up/my brain shuts down/i can't think or talk or function to the point where i can't work.#so i can't support myself. so i feel terrible about myself. and i've been in and out of therapy for 20 years and have numerous diagnoses#that have never really felt like they fully encapsulate what's going on. and like. i've kinda just internalized that i'm not as good at#being a person as everyone else because i struggle so so much. like yeah i did well in school but i had to sacrifice literally everything#else to do that. idk how everyone else is managing to have a job and hobbies and friends#i get to pick like. one now. i used to be able to juggle everything to some degree although i felt like i was being careless in all areas#except school. i'm so scared of making mistakes or starting anything or talking to new people or trying new hobbies#because i know it won't interest me more than a couple weeks MAX and i'll feel listless and restless again#and i've come to understand this as part of who i am at my core. i'm just someone who can't commit and isn't reliable or a good friend#i just want so badly for that not to be the case because i want so badly to not be stuck like this#idk im going home to talk to my dad this weekend and just rest because i'm really really not doing well#which is why i'm scrambling to try to figure out what's going on with me because idk how much longer i feasibly can do this#and i might be moving back to the pnw bc therapists in pa don't work with medicaid#and no psychiatrists near me are taking new patients. and i can't work to get on private insurance. but therapists in or do work w medicaid#so idk. again if youre diagnosed w adhd and this sounds not like someone who is consuming social media brain rot content about adhd#but rather someone whose experiences you identify with. please let me know. please please#i am reaching out to professionals also but things move slowly and i'm trying to compile evidence so i don't sound like i'm making it up
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blatantly making [DnD character’s] backstory a steddie fic for wip weekend please I am so intrigued!!
oh thank you!!! You have no idea how excited I am that you requested this, this fic is my (very neglected) baby !! (and based on my favorite PC who is a human bard called Max in a modern campaign setting, i just wanted to share that lmao)
“Steve? Eddie?” Someone calls from the other room and they spring apart. “Where did you go?” “Uhh,” Eddie says and Steve rolls his eyes. “Just getting water,” he calls back, “we’ll be out soon.” “Get me an ice cream too,” the someone, who Steve now realizes is definitely Dustin, shouts before he hears the back door sliding open and then shut again. He waits a couple of seconds to be sure they're alone again and then raises an eyebrow at Eddie. “Uhh,” he parrots. “There’s not a lot of blood in my brain, kinda difficult to think” Eddie snipes back but he’s smiling. Steve tilts his head, “I make it hard for you to think straight?” Eddie gives him an unimpressed look, “that’s the worst thing anyone has ever said to me Harrington, and I had an angry mob with pitchforks after me.” Steve shrugs, “what are you gonna do about it?” Then he lets a slow smile spread across his lips, and glances down at Eddies ‘no blood in his brain situation’ “big boy.” Eddie’s jaw audibly snaps shut and when Steve looks up he’s giving him a wide-eyed look. ‘Yeah, got him back for that one’ Steve thinks, satisfied to have some leverage back between them. Eddie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “You are gonna have to stay so far away from me Harrington, or I will jump your bones and traumatize all our friends even more than they already are. Then when everyone has left I will deal with all,” he waves a hand between them, “this.” “You keep calling me Harrington,” Steve points out, “what, no more baby? Sweetheart? Princess?” Eddie turns on his heel. “So far away,” he shouts over his shoulder.
(very late) WIP weekend (Wednesday)/make me write
#i think steve using big boy back on eddie is something that can be so personal#this wip brings something out of me and that something is steve and eddie endlessly going back and forth teasing each other#...this is how my dnd characters act if anyone wonders#anyways bc the title is not descriptive this is my fuckbuddies to lovers story with like...some bad choices inbetween (there's running#bc i love writing running apparently) i have a whole scene written for the resolution? kinda? idk but either way im so excited about it#i just gotta write more of the in between parts and i will i will#i am just so excited about all my wips i cant pick one and i gotta focus a little on one eventually so#my post#stranger things#eddie munson#steve harrington#steddie#ask#dels steddie thoughts#my writing#amusingdisplacement
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...
#hello to anyone who happens to b interested in the saga of my life... also maybe the irl person i gave my url to... hopefully my blog#didnt freak her out too much lol. anyway so its been a busy week? 2 weeks? month? year? life? its been a lot. my parents helped me move#across the country from the desert to somewhere that's beautiful and green. my dad is so jealous of me lol its so so so pretty and theres s#so much to do. will i do any of it? that remains to be seen but im gonna try to be better about that sort of thing. try to get some help#with the thoughts in my head that keep me from doing and enjoying most things. its weird like im decorating my new room which i love. the#location and living situation seem ideal and i really hope i can stay here all 5 years of my program but i was picking a lot of bright#colors and now it feel uncomfortable. like if i wear things that r too bright or my room is too bright without dark contrast it feel weird#like if im wearing it it kinda makes me feel sick. idk what thats abt. anyway. ill try to heal my brain and im just so happy to b out of the#southwest. i was so so so excited when we were leaving thr city and even more so when we left the state. i cant believe im here. in December#it felt like a million years away and i really truely could not fathom how i was gonna survive that long. my thoughts were so distorted. but#i did and here i am. and in like a month i should b starting my phd program and my parents were telling me how excited ppl r for me and#jealous of where im living and im glad. im glad they're excited. i think i am too but its under a layer of: if i get excited it wont happen#im not allowed to b excited or it wont happen. which is irrational but ya kno. anyway so that's yeah. im so happy to have a fresh start and#the town seems super cool. a liberal blip in a sea of... not that so theyre very visibly pride forward haha and i think itll b way easier#for me to get around without driving. and im gonna try to make friends. i need someone to tell me where to get tattoos haha. so yea im happy#but exhausted and i dont wanna go back to work and so so greatful to my parents for being wonderful ppl idk how bc both of them had fucked#up childhoods. like my mum will say the saddest shit and im like bro this is y i don't wanna talk to my grandma fuck her and my dads parents#r so fucked. like my nana is the reason im so fucking control freaked out but i kno i have issues and she has no insight and thinks shes#better than everyone. anyway hopefully i can get back to drawing a posting more now. ive been drawing it its been in a sketch book#like an actual sketch book for sketching big ideas thst r gonna take fucking forever to draw 😭#so that's all. just uprooted my whole life. thats all. but in a good way :-]#unrelated
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new books i got :-)
#i go into the theatre department deans office often to bother him#and hes clearing his library out so i picked up some plays nd such#i already have a copy of the seagull but now i have two more by different translators heh#i always say i love u russian classic lit so im excited to read more#looking through my new books instead of doing my many assignments….#🍓.txt
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Your watercolor piece is so BEAUTIFUL!!! its so hard to see fanart of traditional media and you absolutely *ate* with that one 🥹 the colors are so delicate and i love all the white space you left in between
aaaaa thank you!! always happy to see people be excited about traditional art :D
#asks#rebelwithoutabroom#honestly always makes my day when people get excited about seeing fanart done traditionally#Im gonna rant a moment in the tags now since Ive seen a few people bring up the composition and all that#I was!!! very much influenced by old illustrations to the OG three musketeers#and also very much inspired by the works of the illustrators of the golden age of illustration#(I got to see some harry clarke pieces in person so I kinda went digging thru it)#I was actually about to ditch the entire idea at one point!#really liked the thought of it but not the execution#so I looked thru all these classic artists of the golden age#and then picked up my antique artbook of ludwig richter (his art is really lovely go look him up)#and while going thru the pages I kinda just realised that oh yeah I can just. fake the background#the side alley with the arches is a bit of a weakness of mine#whenever Im on holiday and see one I have to take pictures#I did actually do an illustration in a very similar setting with a similar angle last summer#so I decided to put it down on paper and hey. not bad#I really enjoyed painting this one I like how soft the watercolours came out#it actually looks like watercolour this time! yay!#(I say to myself demeaningly because I aspire to paint like luděk marold one day)#but yes the archway of the alley kinda forms a frame around dream and george#and then you have sapnap breaking it by his fall and his stuff scattered on the floor Outside the frame#all while george is stepping out of the frame to pursue him and dream clutching his arm like 'baby no :((('#and the very light ivy clinging to the wall calls back to the ornate frames of flowers that were used in illustration a lot#i need to do more of these. I really hope to tbh#I had a really good time painting this one#Ive had a really good time painting in general as of late. missed this
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Guys I am so excited for LIS Double Exposure but I am also so so nervous
#I feel like it’s one of those things where there’s a possibility for it to be so amazing and a wonderful sequel#but there’s also a chance to COMPLETELY fuck it up 😭#im so nervous. but also excited. mostly excited!#i really do wish they would’ve kept her bangs though but I’m trying really hard not to be whiny abt it#ALSO#I hope to god they give some of the old cast some cameos like I seriously NEED to see Warren. and Victoria. and Kate#which I know would only work in one of the timelines…so idk how that would even work#but still#I miss the og cast I love them dearly#sometimes I forget people actually choose bae over bay I can’t lie 😭 like sometimes I forget that’s even a canonical timeline#LMFAOO IM SORRYYY#I JUST#I can’t imagine destroying Arcadia bay I’m sorryyyyy#people keep talking abt Chloe being alive and I’m like ??? and then I remember OHH THATS. AN ACTUAL TIMELINE#LMFAOO#im going so crazy over this game rn#augh#can’t believe im out here playing the most life changing games ever and once I finish them I have to just return to daily life like normal#like. how am I supposed to not talk abt this 24/7 now this is crazyyy#okay in all seriousness though I’m lowkey gonna be heated as hell if at least warren doesn’t somehow get some involvement in this LMFAOO#LIKEEE#I MISS THE OG CAST 😞😞#I MISS THEM. WEEPS#“but what abt people who picked the bae ending’’ idkkkkkkkk 😞😞😞#I heard through the grapevine (☝️🤓) that there’s supposedly going to be two separate storylines? one for bae and one for bay?#is that like actually confirmed or just speculation….I hope it’s confirmed#anyways. many thoughts. very nervous.#life is strange#life is strange double exposure
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literally all i wanna do is work on my Master Plan for my birthday lol. it's literally just a day trip out of town but I'm so hype.
#i need to get out more#im legit excited to go do touristy things by myself#the plan is: 1. pick a locality i want to visit. 2. do a hike in the morning. 3. have lunch in town/wander for a bit/shop#4. visit museums or natural attractions I want to see#5. drive home (hopefully the road back to the city will be fine and just the road out of town will be busy) and have charcuterie for supper#gonna treat myself and get some fancy cheese or something from the deli near my office#ooh or maybe ill go to the farmer's market this weekend.#ANYWAY. VERY EXCITED!!#the stuff i wanna do is stuff i haven't done bc the people i travel with either aren't interested or have already done it lol#gonna be a big 'do it alone/do it anxious' day but!! i will do it!!
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#periodical life updates#(<- NUMBER 3!!!) I FINISHED THE ANIMATION AND EVERYTHING FOR THAT PROJECT AND SENT IT OFF! super excited!!#it looks really cute! i tried my best and im mostly satisfied of where i landed <33#it's my little sibling's birthday today!! it's also the first official meeting of lgbt club!! (the other event was a fun lgbt mixer)#my backpack smells bad. like mildew or mold maybe? urgh its awful and gives me a headache. i might need a new one. i dont know. urghhh.#my programming homework is due today!! yike!! but other than that my personal projects with deadlines are all done!#INIQUITY NOW THAT YOU HAVE TIME ARE YOU FINALLY GONNA WORK ON YOUR SELF SHIP BLOG?? YES!! HOPEFULLY!!#truthfully i /have/ been working on it on the side. it looks decent but the colors;;; i have always been pretty sht at color picking?#i can adjust with filters but without that im like. a little not good yet lmao. gotta do some studies sometime perhaps#BUT YAY EXCITED!! ive got some rambles and doodles and a tag system and f/o info which is extremely cumbersome (affectionate)!!#also i have new fandom ocs for the latest dimension 20 campaign and im so delighted heho <33 this campaign is literally so fun.#im watching it with my sibling when its done!! OOH ALSO I FIGURED OUT HOW TO PNGTUBE AND i will likely never use it BUT COOL!!#i dont like. talk. lmao. my art streams are 1) silent 2) rare 3) only shared with my siblings. pngtuber is a little useless. but CUTE!!#i got boba tea yesterday!! sandy bought it :3 <3 and we're having pho and cheesecake later and i might plan out a little excursion today?#like i might get a treatsie. OR i'll just sit on campus as usual and get a mango smoothie and draw for a while (or work on homework.)#(lets be honest its likely the former. i might get a little back into traditional? ooh or maybe i'll practice my asl?) HEY THOUGH.#ive been thinking about making a henrey stickmn (ask)blog to practice asl? like. no plot. just henry teaching ellie and charles asl#really funny considering my Real concept of an askblog for THSC. not ace or eca; but a secret third thing (⛎) ;)#then again since when have i EVER followed through on an askblog lmao?? damb im all over the place today. we're already hitting tag limit#okay!! 3 AM!! if im going early tomorrow i gotta eep! goodnight everyone i love you!! see you tomorrow if i have the energy and time!!
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Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner
#rat rambles#oc posting#warriors posting#spiraling upwards#long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds#I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated#and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them#oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much#and for good reason get his ass#alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones#aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit#so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another#honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that#most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will#and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan#but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot#she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic#but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated#some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them#instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding#it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming#out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits#that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion#she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit#so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards#now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while#for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place#she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy#but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up#and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly
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😍😍😍
#accidentally slept through my only class today#which whoops sorry. (my 9am english)#which kind of killed step 1 of a plan of mine but thats okay#anyways THEN i had to go downtown to pick up this award bc i forgot to show up to the ceremony like a dumb dumb#but the building was like a 25 minute walk and it was COLD (punishment for my dumb dumbness tbh) but anyways i got there early so i walked#around the block and then went inside and picked up my medal#and i was already far downtown so then i popped my head in a couple of stores as i slowly walked back#got a few things from target. new hair clip nail polish m&ms pens and then a mango. very excited to eat that either later today or tomorrow#then i popped in the calligraphy store and then the comic shop and looked around. saw some white ribbon in the calligraphy store which ive#been looking for but didnt get it because it was a bit wide and kind of expensive and i want a lot for my project idea#(want to write out some of my favorite poems on them in sharpie and then use it to accessorize)#and then i went to the comic shop and peeked around. saw a nubia issue and a few gl 2021s in the discount bin but i didnt get them bc#they were all middle issues and i havent read those books yet although i do want to someday bc my guys were in them. one of the gl 21s even#had simon on the cover so i was very !!!!!!!! thats my guy!!!!!#didnt buy anything there but i did ask the guy to make sure to order a copy of the spirit world tpb so ill stop by to get that in a few wks#and then i went to the bookstore cafe and got a cold brew and did a but of English there. they have tables in the stacks its nice. the one i#grabbed was just surrounded by old paperbacks of sci fi and thrillers lol. didnt see anything id read but recognized a few author names like#card (no enders game though) and the pern lady (idk her name i havent read it). anyways did half a blog post thats technically late (ill#backdate though dw) and then packed up and i grabbed a gyro from the halal cart on that block which i just finished back at my dorm <3333#anyways good times. now im gonna try and spam some work and go to freaking trivia team for the first time in a month later. oops#blah#oh and i think the halal cart guy may have given me a free soda. unsure abt that though bc its possible it came with and i was just being#silly again. so anyways i had a ginger ale too
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back on my bjd bullshit
#i just put in a layaway order for a blank doll chateau noah :)#idk how im gonna make them look yet!! i was originally gonna get a k-body-15 with a dream valley freyja head#(& hope the neck size difference wasnt too weird lmao)#but i cant find that one anymore?? like no one seems to sell it. idk#so now im planning to get the k-body-12 for that head which seems to be basically the same but human instead of deertaur#(also i like the legs better on the noah body anyway so it works out)#so im probably gonna recycle part of the idea i had for that. particularly the outfit bc i had something picked out#that should work well with the weird body shape lmAO#but the only one in stock was in peach & im used to getting plain white. like it doesnt look thaaaat much different its very very light#but i might have to lean into the peach/pink tones a little to not make it look weird in contrast with my other dolls lmao#maybe ill throw in some purple? i think like a desaturated reddish purple for blushing might work well#with the more neutral tones i had in mind for the clothes. but i do think in general im going to work in more color than initially planned#& the other one can be more monochrome. whenever i get that lmao#ANYWAY since its layaway it will still be like. six months. unless i pay it off early (we will see)#but im used to preorders which already take about that long so its really no different tbh#im so excited i dont think ive bought a bjd since mint on card closed. i used to get everything through them since i was in the same state#i wonder how their fucking. airbnb business is going lmao
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