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skittles1229 · 3 years

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Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They knew me better then i know myself.

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time.

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't. Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald.

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters.

i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night.

i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way.

before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

#dashiegames #dashiexp #dashie x reader #fanfictions #fanfic #self insert #romance

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theokotrain · 3 years

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Vestige - Interlude: The Party

Wattpad Version

As the night fills the sky

All my fears are dissipating

'Cause I feel reassured

That I might make it through

And if all my luck should burn

Then I guess it burned for you

---

April 13th, 2012

I was sitting on my bed, back against the bed frame with my knees raised in front of me, holding up my laptop. I had been spending the last few hours writing an essay for my English class, specifically answering the topic question my teacher had given everybody: "How do our past experiences influence our decisions?". The question was simple enough, it's a pretty universally recognized idea that stuff that happens to us has an effect on our decision making. I mean, that's what it means to grow, right? You gain more knowledge as you live through life and form new memories, and that helps you make more informed decisions in the future.

I've never really been too good at writing anything analytical, especially non-fiction. Essays and research papers that required informed arguments that helped to prove your point? Those were an entirely unknown game to me, one which I had never managed to breeze through. Of course, we were supposed to use some of the books we've read this year as evidence for our arguments, so that at least made it a bit easier, even if most of the books were ones from nearly five decades ago and definitely out of touch at this point. The sound of my laptop's keys clicking as I typed away were the only sounds I could pick up in the room. I had my earphones in for a bit, but those always hurt my ears after a while, so I had taken them out.

Looking at the time in the corner of my laptop screen, it was 4:43 PM. I started writing as soon as I got home from class, so I've only been going for about an hour. Unfortunately, this essay is a non-insignificant amount of my course grade, so I needed to finish this as soon as possible.

God, it's a Friday! I could be out doing something actually fun with Shae and the other guys. Isn't that the whole point of high school? That's what it always seemed like in movies, at least, but I guess I've been a victim of false advertising.

After a bit more time passes, the sound of my phone ringing from my desk brings me out of my writing trance. I sigh, setting my laptop next to me on the bed, not wanting to get out of bed, but eventually forcing myself into maneuvering over to the desk, I grab the phone and flip it open, looking to see the Caller ID.

Shaela.

I instantly accept the call, it's almost second nature at this point. She calls me at least once a day so she can tell me about whatever person is pissing her off that day, or whatever drama she's heard from her other friends. I was never really one for gossip, or whatever, but I did appreciate talking to her.

I put the phone up to my ear, "What's up?" I say, a tinge of fatigue in my voice.

"Hey! Just warning you that I'm like five minutes from your place and you don't have a say in the matter." She replied bluntly. I can hear the sound of cars driving by on the other side of the phone, so she's obviously outside, confirming her words.

I take a deep breath before speaking, "...Why?" I said with exasperated sarcasm.

"Because! I have something to tell you, and if I say it over the phone then I seriously doubt it'll work out in the way I'm hoping it does."

"That clears up nothing, actually, and now I regret picking up."

"Even if you didn't answer, that doesn't stop your parents from letting their son's lovely goody-two-shoes of a friend stop by for a visit!" She exclaimed, a mischievous tone subtly layered in her voice.

She's not wrong.

"Wow, you make this sound like you're sneaking into a high-security building or something." I say, utterly confused at her motives. "Obviously you can come over, but I'm not exactly filled with confidence at whatever you're planning."

"Like I said, I can't tell you yet, but it's gonna be awesome!" She said. There was an unusual perkiness to her that made itself pretty clear over the phone.

Before I can say anything, I'm met with the dial tone, signalling that she had hung up. The only thing I can do at this point is wait for her to get here, I guess. She always lets herself in when she comes over, so I don't make the effort to meet her downstairs. A sudden ping sound fills the quiet room, seeming to come from my laptop. I get back into bed, looking to see where the notification came from.

It's a message from Tyler.

He's definitely the newest member of our little group, if even that. I'm the only person in the group that he's actually friends with so far, despite my efforts to bring him along on any plans we all make. I only met the Grey Wolf back in February, at the beginning of the second semester, in the school's photography class. Nobody I knew signed up for it, and due to our prestigious high school's advanced budget for technology, we were forced to be paired up for shared computer use in the Photography Room. I suppose Tyler was also fortunate enough to not know anybody in the class, as we ended up being paired together by the teacher. He was definitely someone I could only describe as uninterested, as the first week or two I spent with him in that class consisted of him either giving me one word answers or answering in the most blunt, bored tone he could manage. Though, it seemed that it took a bit of persistence on my part to push him to be more open, and since then he's grown to be a pretty great friend.

Tyler: u goin to that party tonight ive been hearin about?

Party? I wasn't made aware of anything like that, at least... not yet. Something in the back of my brain was telling me that Shae had ulterior motives about coming to my place so suddenly, but I'm still hoping that I'm wrong. I hate parties.

Jake: party? havent heard anything, are u going?

Tyler: thinkin about it

think its gonna be over at chris's place, guess his parents r gone for the weekend or somethin

Jake: chrisssss? ughh that guy is such an asshole

Tyler: yeah u dont havee to go, but itd prob be more fun to have someone u actually know there

The way he worded that was directed at me, but I could tell he didn't want to go on his own.

Jake: i guess ill think about it

Tyler: sickk, call me if u make up ur mind

Before I can type my farewells over IM, Shaela energetically bursts through the door.

"Jesus! You scared the shit outta me, don't you knock?" I said, mildly exasperated.

"Oh come on, I literally called you a few minutes ago, you had plenty of time to not make a situation where it'd be a bad idea for me to barge in," She replies, laughing, before setting her bag on the ground and dramatically falling into my bed. "Today was garbage."

"What happened?"

"Ugh, Claire decided to just not show up, I guess, on the day we're supposed to present that stupid History project? And, obviously, she didn't give me her part of the project or anything, so I had tell Mr Thomas about the situation, which was fucking embarrassing." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Luckily, he said he wouldn't reduce my grade for handing it in late, since I actually had my part finished. God, what a bitch- I must've called her like thirty times before class to get her to email me her part, and every time it went straight to voicemail - and she told me last night that she'd have it ready for today!"

"Have you gotten a hold of her yet?" I asked, closing my laptop and setting it beside me.

Shae turns her head to me, shaking her head, "Nope, she's been ghosting me all day."

"Sounds like typical Claire."

"Yeah, I shouldn't have partnered with her, but apparently I can't say no to anyone, so..." I chuckle lightly in response. "Anyways! I didn't just come here to complain to you!" She says, sitting up on the bed, now facing towards me.

"Right... So what was so important that you just had to tell me in person?" I say, sarcastically.

"Like I said, if I asked you over the phone you would've definitely said no, and my ability to pressure you into doing things isn't as effective unless it's in person!" She responded.

I subtly rolled my eyes, but it's clear she noticed from the stare-down she gave me, "Okay, so what is it?"

"Soooooo..." She says, trying to find the rest of the words, "There's a party."

Wow.

"Wh- did everybody know about that party except for me?!?" I exclaimed.

Shaela's face quickly turns to an expression of shock, "Who told you?"

"Tyler did, like, not even five minutes ago." I say, bluntly.

"What? How does he know Chris?"

"Friend-of-a-friend, I'm guessing?"

"Hmm..." She hummed, thinking about something, "So, did you tell him you were going?"

"I specifically said I'd think about it, nothing definite." I made it clear in my tone that I wasn't particularly interested.

"Oh, come on, dude! It'll be fun!"

I didn't really have an interest in going, but I know it'd make Shae happy, plus it'd be nice to hang out with Tyler again even if we've only known each other for a couple months.

"...Fine. But, if Chris or any of his buddies start shit, I'm leaving."

"Awesome!"

"Lemme just call Tyler and let him know," I said as I grabbed my phone and flipped it open, finding Tyler in my contact list and dialling.

"You gonna bring him with-" The phone rings a few times before he picks up and I extend my hand out towards Shae in a shushing motion. She rolls her eyes, smirking.

"Hey? So are ya gonna go?" He said eagerly.

"Well, Shae showed up at my door literally right after you messaged me, asking the same thing!" I exclaimed in a fake-preppy voice. "So, I guess I have no choice since she'll probably just drag me there if I say no," I joked. She nods her head toward me in response.

"Oh, is she going too?" He inquired.

"Yeah, I guess so! Your place is kinda on the way to Chris', so we could probably meet you at your place and go from there."

"Yeah! Sounds good!" He quickly responded.

I laughed, "Okay, we'll call you when we get there?"

"Sure thing!"

We exchanged our farewells, and hung up. The party wasn't for at least another hour or two, so Shae and I had some time to burn, of which I was entirely out of ideas. I figured I could at least spend this time actually being productive, so I grabbed my laptop and continued on writing my English essay as Shae resumed her previous conversation topic of stuff at school that was pissing her off. It was pretty entertaining, to be fair. She was telling me about how Chris had gotten in a fight with this other kid in our grade yesterday after class, which I wasn't lucky enough to witness, but it was obviously all anyone would talk about for basically the entire day today so word spread around fast. The part I hadn't heard about was that both Chris and the other guy, Nathan, got suspended for a week because of it. Chris was generally an asshole to everybody, including myself, so I didn't feel too bad about that. Although, I didn't know Nathan all that well. Other than having a few classes together, I don't think I've ever held an actual conversation with the guy. I think it was safe to assume that Chris was the one who started it, and Shae seemed to agree with me, even though she hadn't seen the fight either.

"But, apparently Nathan's gonna show up tonight!" She exclaimed coyly.

"...Remind me again why you want me to go to this specific party?"

"You'll have a great time! It's not like we'll be involved in the drama anyway so think of it more as entertainment!"

"I think you and I have different definitions of the word 'entertainment'," I joked.

"I'm sure you can go run off somewhere with Tyler if you're not having fun," She said, her tone reminding me of my mom.

"Oh yeah? What about you?"

"I can't just leave Alex at a party with Chris, those two start shit between each other so much and I'd rather not deal with the aftermath of that today."

"I'm guessing it's safe to assume that Elliot's going too, then?"

"He's not big on parties, but he'll usually go if everyone else is, unlike somebody," She says, gesturing towards me.

"Good one," I reply, unmoving as I keep typing away at my assignment.

"Well, we should probably leave soon since we're stopping at Tyler's place on the way.

I saved the document I had been working on, closing my laptop. "Sounds good to me!"

---

"I can't believe you actually agreed to go." Tyler joked as we walked towards the road from his house.

"Yeah, me either." I replied. I definitely didn't put in any effort in dressing up for the party, opting for a snug space-themed graphic tee, along with black jeans and a white zip-up hoodie. Shae and Tyler both stand on opposite sides of me as we walk down the sidewalk.

"Luckily I learned the subtle techniques in convincing you to do things against your better judgement, so now you get to have fun for once!" Shae exclaimed.

"It's not my fault that going to a party is literally the last thing on earth I'd do for fun in any normal situation." I retorted, putting my hands in the pockets of my jacket.

"Oh yeah? And what do you consider a 'normal situation'?" Shae asks.

"Any situation where you guys aren't the ones trying to get me to go! I'm only doing this for you two, y'know." I said, looking over at both of them.

"What about Elliot and Alex?" Tyler chimed in.

"They aren't the ones asking me to go to this party." I sarcastically remarked, trying to keep the conversation light-hearted. "Speaking of the party- this is Chris we're talking about, there's gonna be beer, right?"

"Uh, duh?" Shae replied.

"Yeah, that's a definite no for me, I'm already enough of a disappointment to my parents,"

"No one's making you drink, Jake. At least you'd be safe if some old hag called the cops about the noise." Shae said.

"I think at that point we're guilty by association, so we'd just make a run for it if that happens," Tyler joked.

"Dude, the chance of me outrunning a police officer successfully is about as likely as me not wanting to punch Chris tonight."

"And the chance of you winning that fight is just as low!" Shae retorted, Tyler laughing in response.

"I specifically said 'want' because of that very reason!"

"Wow, I'd pay money to see you fight that guy." Tyler said, nudging his elbow into my side.

It isn't a secret that I'm not exactly athletic. I mean, I'm definitely not weak, but fighting basically any animal of a similar size to mine was not a situation that favoured my victory.

"That sounds more like just getting the shit kicked outta me for your entertainment." I remarked, lightly punching Tyler's shoulder in return.

"Absolutely worth every penny!" Shae exclaimed. Luckily, the place wasn't any more than ten minutes away from Tyler's place, so I didn't have to endure listening to these two talk about me getting beat up for much longer.

We finally make it to Chris' house, and I'm suddenly filled with an impending sense of regret. Obviously, my parents would never in a million years agree to me going to a party like this. As far as they know, I'm just spending the evening hanging out with Shae at Tyler's house. So yeah, this entire night had a lot of potential for disaster.

Shae can clearly see my hesitation, because she grabs my hand, leading me up the walkway, Tyler following closely behind.

"I wonder if Elliot and Alex beat us here?" She says, knocking on the front door.

"I doubt they had anything to do earlier, hell they probably came straight here after school, knowing Alex." I said, laughing.

Our conversation is cut short by the opening door, revealing the familiar black cat.

"Oh, look, the Stephenson kid brought his girlfriend!" Chris exclaimed mockingly, looking back into the house, before peering around my shoulder, "And... Tyler?" He said, inquisitively.

I lean over, blocking Tyler from his line of sight, "Yeah, hey, not dating by the way!" I said. I've known Shae since I first moved to Vestige, around the time I turned five years old, so it wasn't uncommon for rumours to go around that we were dating. I've always thought of her more as a sister, if anything.

"I asked them to come!" Tyler said. That was only partly true, but according to Tyler, they've been 'somewhat-friends' for quite a while now, so saying that would at least mean less mild-harassment from Chris for tonight.

"Oh, uh, okay... come on in! But you're on the hook for any shit they pull, Tyler!" He said, opening the door wider.

---

The party had been going on for a few hours at this point. I could recognize most of the animals here from school, but not enough to actually hold a conversation with any of them, so most of my time here had just been spent with Shae and Tyler. The place hasn't been incredibly crowded luckily, but there were easily about forty others in this part of the house alone. I'm assuming only high school grades were invited, but there were a considerable number of students to meet that requirement. The issue at hand for me, other than how crowded this place is, is that both Shae and Tyler ditched me to go... somewhere? I think Shae saw some of her friends and went somewhere with them, but Tyler was pretty secretive about where he was going, only telling me that he'd be back in a bit. So I've been standing here in this random corner of the house with a drink in hand, trying to make myself look busy and not awkward, which is exactly why I didn't want to go to this party in the first place!

"Jake!" A voice shouted from a ways away.

I turn my head in confusion, revealing Alex, walking towards me from across the room.

"Oh, Alex! Hey! What's up dude!" I finish the last bit of my soda, waving at him. Because this was Chris' party, there was obviously beer too, but I didn't feel like coming home drunk and my parents finding out.

"I didn't think you'd wanna come to something like this! Feeling the regret yet?"

"I like parties! It's the times like these when I'm standing in a corner by myself with nothing to do that I hate, which seems to happen every time I go to a party!" I exclaimed, pausing for a moment. "Okay, maybe I do hate parties- I've had to explain this so many times today I'm about ready to jump into Lake Ambuscade."

' "Wow, sounds like somebody needs to socialize instead of stewing in a corner for the rest of the night!"

"Socialize? Really? I know just about everybody here and just about none of them are worth talking-"

"Hang with me and Elliot, then? Justin set up some racing games in the other room, we were gonna join, but we could use a fourth... You in?" He said, his tone obviously trying to sound coercing.

"God, please, anything to get me out of this corner for the next three hours." I said, Alex returning my words with a laugh.

"Well, come on then! We'll have to hurry if we want to get one of the good controllers!" He exclaimed, motioning to follow him.

As we move through the various cliques, I recognize a few faces here and there, though not enough to actually want to talk to them. There's been music playing since we got here, and I have yet to recognize a single song, they all seem to be some form of drone-y bass-heavy music that I can't say I've heard in any normal situations. I'm doing my best to follow Alex, although he keeps weaving between the other animals faster than I can keep up, resulting in me having to shove past everyone near me in an effort to speed myself up. Luckily, it seems that no one notices me anyway.

When we arrive in the other room, it seems to just be another living room, but decorated with a galore of punk band posters, shelves holding more DVD cases than I would ever care to count, and even a mini-fridge. Maybe Chris is the type to have a 'man cave' or something? Just hearing that phrase almost makes me want to vomit, but there aren't any more accurate words that come to mind. The room isn't massive or anything, but the TV resting upon the wall across the room seems to challenge that idea, looking almost eighty inches in size. Luckily no randoms from the party were in here, sitting about ten feet away from the TV is Elliot, leaning back in a purple bean bag chair that seems almost three times bigger than him, and Justin, the cougar I'd only known slightly through Alex, laying down sideways on the couch directly in front of the gigantic screen.

"Whatttt! You took the bean bag chair? Lameee..." Alex whined.

"You're the one who wanted to go get Jake, you snooze you lose!" Elliot retorted, looking oddly proud of himself.

"Damn, wish I had a room like this at my house..." I mumbled, looking around the room.

"Are we gonna play or what?" Justin said, cutting through the momentary silence.

"Duh!" Alex claimed.

Justin sits up, taking the spot on the couch closest to Elliot. I opt for the leftmost seat, and Alex sits in-between the both of us. Elliot grabs the other three controllers and tosses them over at us, one by one. Luckily, there weren't any garbage third-party controllers, so at least none of us would have to deal with that. I will admit, it did feel kinda weird going to someone's party just to play games away from everybody, but I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer that, even though I rarely play games, if ever.

After Justin turns the console on, he goes through the menus, launching the game. I can't say I recognize the title, but it seems to be a pretty standard racing game. He goes into the custom mode, opting for a four-player split-screen match, choosing 'R1' as the category of cars to race in. As everyone chooses their cars, I scroll through the list, not really knowing what to pick. I've never been good with car stuff, so I pick an 'Aston Martin Lola' just based on the number-rating system the game ranks the cars with.

"You guys ready?" Justin asks.

"Oh yeah, get ready to eat my dust you guys!" Elliot exclaims, challengingly.

"Oddly prideful words for someone about to lose!" Alex replies, laughing.

The countdown begins, as the cameras slowly show the view of each car as it moves to the rear. When it starts, I somehow manage the fuckup of spinning my tires out, leaving me a few seconds behind the others as the car swerves back and forth. I curse under my breath as I try to regain control of the car, and swiftly pick up speed. The track seems like nothing I haven't seen before, a typical professional track, with rows and rows of audience seating to the side. Unfortunately, I'm now in last place. The next few moments of the track are a few quick corners, allowing me the chance to catch up, at least a little.

Unexpectedly, the track turns off of the main road, going into a forested area. The road is considerably more narrow at this point, so it takes a conscious effort to not drive into the trees by the asphalt. It looks like the road stretches on forever, as I still can't make out any upcoming turns. I guess the car I chose for the race had a better top speed than Justin's, as I'm quickly catching up to him, moving into third place. I'm gripping my controller to an uncomfortable degree, but I can't seem to relax the tension as I try to make my way into second place. I don't think I can pick up any more speed in this car, so me moving up is reliant on the road staying straight for just a bit longer. After what feels like a lifetime, the front of my car finally starts making it past Elliot's, then the midsection, and finally, I'm in second. The sound of all four car engines is drowning out any remnants of the video game music, and I feel the sudden urge to curse out whoever turned the TV volume up this high. My eyes are focused entirely on Alex's car as I make my final push into first place. If I were actually driving this fast in the real world, I'd be scared out of my fucking mind. Out of nowhere, Alex, and the others, begins to slow down considerably.

Oh fuck.

It's at that point I notice that there is a sharp right turn rapidly approaching. I've been pushing the top-speed of this car since the beginning of this stretch of road, and now I'm going too quickly to stop in time. What's the button to use the handbrake, again? I figure that the only way for me to not fuck up this race for myself is to try to drift around the corner. Considering I've never played this game before, it's going to prove to be a challenge. But, it's either that, or just ending up in dead-last again.

I hold down the A button, and pull the joystick as far to the right as possible. Suddenly, all I can hear from the game is the loud skidding sounds of my tires against the asphalt. To my surprise, I cut the corner a bit early, now going over the grass. I try to do a bit of directional-corrections and start heading back onto the track. Going over the grass definitely slowed me down a fair bit, but it definitely was a significantly better outcome over just crashing into the wall. And, to my surprise, the corner of my screen reads... first?!?

"How the fuck...?" Alex questions, seemingly in disbelief.

"I wish I could tell you." I replied, eyes wide at whatever the fuck just happened.

The distance I managed to gain on Alex isn't by a whole lot, but there's only about a quarter of the track left before we reach the finish line, so I have a chance at winning this. The track hurriedly changes from the forest as it reenters the main track. The long, straight roads seem to end as the road becomes a slow series of sharp turns, never giving me the opportunity to get back up to speed. It seems like the high top speed was my only advantage, because at every corner we take, I turn my camera around, revealing the other cars inching closer and closer to me.

I can see the finish line on the mini-map, just a few more turns away. I know that I'm not gonna be able to distance myself from Alex and the others at this point, so my only feasible strategy is to keep moving, cutting the corners as fast as I can, and getting to the finish line before they can pass me. Unfortunately, Alex's car seems to be getting too close for comfort now, meaning I might have to take some risks to ensure I can stay in first. As we approach the final turn, leading into the finish line, I realise I'm gonna have to try to drift this corner. I can feel my pointer finger practically cracking the plastic on the controller from the amount of pressure I'm putting on the right trigger. In a final plea to win, I push down on the A button, pulling the handbrake. The car starts to smoothly skid around the corner. Luckily, there are barriers on the sides of the road this time, preventing me from sliding onto the grass. To my surprise, the drift seems to work better than expected. That is, until, like the fucking idiot I am, make a slight overcorrection towards the left barriers as I exit the drift. I managed to avoid driving directly into the wall, but it did slow me down a bit.

Alex is immediately behind me, and I put all of my strength into accelerating towards the finish line. I'd be fucked if I broke the controller, cause I can't really afford the fifty dollars to buy a new one, but winning this race is more important to me at the moment. The finish line is only about five-hundred metres away, and Alex is slowly beginning to pass. All I can do at this point is push the gas as much as I can, and pray that I can cross the finish line before he can get back into first place. The finish line gets closer and closer, and it seems like it's gonna be too close for me to accurately tell the winner. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest from how stressful this fucking game has been, and now, we're about to find out whose efforts paid off. As each car makes its way over the finish line, each of our dedicated sections of the screen turns to slow motion. When it's finally over, the text fades in on each screen, revealing our place...

...

...Second?!?

"FUCK!" I shouted, realising I had been holding my breath since the final stretch of the race.

"HA! Dude, you suck!" Alex exclaimed, playfully shoving me.

"I think that was the most effort I've put into anything in my life." I said, setting my controller on the coffee table in front of me.

"Wow, that's dramatic," Justin remarked.

"Yeah, that's the usual for Jake," Elliot replied, laughing.

"You probably woulda won if you picked a better car, dude. That track was way too close-quarters so you should've gone with a car with better acceleration." Alex said.

"Wha- do you own this game?" I questioned, looking accusatory.

"...Yeah? It came out a few months ago, pretty popular right now." He replied.

"Ugh, this is what I get for playing with a bunch of gamers." I exclaimed, applying a disgusted tone to the last word.

"Not my fault you only play like one game a month!" Alex joked.

"Even then, I was like this close to beating you anyway!" I said, gesturing a minuscule distance between my thumb and pointer finger.

A voice interrupts our argument, coming from right outside the room, "Uh huh...

...

Really? That's bullshit! Come on...

...

Dude, give me a couple of days, I'll make it right!

...

Yeah, I swear."

It seems that we all stopped talking to listen in at the same time. "That sounds like Tyler... who's he arguing with?" Elliot asked. I can't make out the voice of whoever he's talking to, it just sounds like mumbling.

They seem to pause for a moment, and the sound of a single set of footsteps can be heard.

"Fuck..." Tyler says to himself, still out of view.

"...I should probably see what's up, you guys can keep playing without me." I say, getting up from my spot on the couch.

"Yeah, you do that! Less competition for me," Alex exclaims, laughing to himself.

"Hey, I can still beat your ass at this game, I know exactly which car to pick this time!" Elliot argued.

"Yeah, right! Guess we'll find out!"

I leave as the three start up another game, kind of glad I don't have to have another near-heart attack from playing again. When I get back into the dimly-lit hallway, Tyler is nowhere to be seen.

I look around, heading into the main room of the house to see if I can spot him. It's pretty difficult to see anything, because of how dim it is here, plus the sheer amount of animals crowding up the place. Despite that, I manage to spot the Grey Wolf a ways away, hurrying quickly into the bathroom.

As I shove my way through a few groups of teens, I almost fall over a few times, gaining confused stares from a few in the room. I lightly knock on the bathroom door, waiting for a response, "Hey, you okay Tyler?" After a few moments, I'm returned with no answer, "...Tyler-" Before I can finish my sentence, Tyler swiftly pulls open the bathroom door, pulling me in and shutting the door behind me, before sitting down on the side of the bathtub. As I'm about to say something, I hear the sound of him sniffling.

...Is he crying?

He's looking towards the floor, so I can't confirm it visually, but the sound definitely gives it away.

"Whoa, what's wrong? Did something happen?" I asked worriedly, not yet choosing to bring up the argument we overheard.

There's a few seconds of silence as he tries to bring himself together, not very successfully. "I- I... I don't- I don't think I can-"

"It's fine, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I tried to reassure him. He raises his head for a moment to look at me, trying to find words to say, instead opting to go back to crying, head in his hands. I've never been good with situations like this, so I sit down next to him, putting my hand on his upper back, softly patting.

"I'm sorry- I'm a fucking idiot. I shouldn't have asked you to come."

"Hey! I've been having fun! Don't worry about me, it seems like you're the one who shouldn't have come." I joke, in some effort to lighten the mood.

Shit, was that inconsiderate of me to say?

To my surprise, he manages to let out a light laugh, "Yeah, I'm starting to realise that."

"...Do you wanna leave, then? They know I didn't want to go here in the first place, so you could just say you're being nice and walking me home." I didn't know if he would actually take up that offer, but I know some guys have a weird thing about not wanting to seem 'uncool' and leaving a party early was definitely considered that.

He thinks for a moment, still sniffling pretty noticeably. "...okay, just- give me a minute, I don't want to go out there looking like this." He mumbles, looking towards the door.

"Yeah, that's fine." I said, continuing to rub around his neck area.

This definitely wasn't how I expected the night to go. But it was a sort of 'two-birds-with-one-stone' kind of situation. I get to help out Tyler, which is usually the other way around, I get to leave early, and hopefully Shae stops bugging me about going to parties, at least for a while.

Now that I think about it, that analogy is pretty messed up.

A few silent minutes go by as I sit next to the still-crying Tyler, waiting for him to recollect himself. Even though he hasn't actually said anything here, in the two months I've known him, this is probably the most vulnerable I've ever seen him. When I first met him, it was pretty accurate to describe him as the kind of guy who acts like he never feels emotion. Hell, even I refuse to be open about my feelings, but most of my friends see through that nowadays. Even now, I don't really understand why I do that. I guess it's just easier to not talk about shit like that? Is that why Tyler does it?

"I think I'm good now," He said, shaking his hands as he stood up.

"Okay, let's get out of this dumpster fire." I sarcastically remarked. Tyler shot me a confused look in return. "Whatever, let's just go."

I open the bathroom door, grabbing his arm as I lead him out into the main room. Almost immediately the voice of a certain black cat perks up behind us.

"Oh? And what did you two get up to in there?" Chris remarked, laughing, "I didn't know you guys were THAT kind of friends!"

God damnit. This stupid fucking feline.

"Yeah, it's too loud out here for me, I needed a break, he came with." I explained, Tyler standing closely behind me with a confused look on his face. Just roll with it, dude, I think to myself, knowing I probably shouldn't say that out loud.

"You know, I would believe that, but normal guys actually just go outside when they need a break." He replied.

"Well, hey! That's where we're going right now, so it all checks out!" I say in the bitchiest voice I can muster.

"Heh, sure thing, Jake." He said, sounding weirdly satisfied with himself. I didn't want to spend any more time in this fucking house than I needed to, especially while talking to Chris, so I continue on, pulling Tyler by the hand towards the exit. After a few moments, we make it to the front door. I promptly open it and we both head outside.

We're immediately greeted by the light of the moon and the starry sky as we head down the walkway toward the street. One of the few benefits of living in such a backwater town was the absence of any significant light pollution. I've been to Portland a few times for school field trips and such, and seeing the sheer difference in visible stars was absolutely staggering. I could only imagine what it would be like to go stargazing in the middle of nowhere.

"At least it's a nice night out." I said.

"Yeah..." Tyler replied, his mind clearly in a completely different place.

"I should probably tell Shae where we went, so she doesn't freak out trying to find us back there." I joked, pulling out my cell phone. Texting on my flip phone was an arduous task, but I didn't want to call her, so I had not much of a choice.

I send the text, and close my phone, returning it to my pocket. As we walk down the road, we stew in the silence, the only auditory sounds coming from the party still close by, and the local crickets chirping.

I won't lie, as much as I usually appreciate quiet, this is the loudest silence I've ever been stuck in. It goes on for more than five minutes. I could tell he wanted to say something, and I was eager to find out whatever was going on that started this in the first place. But, like the coward I am, I try to lighten the mood.

"Hopefully that satisfied your quota of me going to parties with you for a while, cause I do not plan on having the energy for something like that again for at least a few months." I said, awkwardly laughing. He doesn't respond, at least for a while, as he raises his hand, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "...Uhh, are you sure you don't wanna talk about it? I mean-"

"Can I tell you something?" He interrupted, his voice still cracking like it was in the bathroom.

"...Sure?" I replied, slightly confused.

"It's just that- I don't really know- like what-"

"-to say? Just think for a minute. No rush." That's what my dad always says whenever my mind spirals. I used to be really anxious, although I've been getting better at controlling my thoughts in the past few years.

When I went to text Shae a few minutes ago, my phone's clock read 9:48 PM. I'm supposed to be home at ten and we're still at least twenty minutes away, not even including the detour we'll take to get to Tyler's place. Which brings me to the realisation that, when we get to his house, I'm gonna have to walk the rest of the way home by myself, in the dark. If I get murdered by some serial killer this late at night I'm gonna fucking haunt Shae from the afterlife-

"I think I'm gay," He quickly says, his voice holding a noticeable increase in energy compared to what I've been used to tonight.

Well... can't say that's exactly what I was expecting. Was I expecting anything in particular? I honestly don't know anymore. His words took me by surprise, my brain is kind of scrambled right now. I look over at him - he's looking back at me, probably trying to gauge my reaction. I did my best to conceal any facial reaction, but it's pretty clear that my lack of a response is starting to become noticeable.

"...You... think?"

"Well, like- I don't know. I guess I've just been thinking for a while, and it makes sense... all things considered." He replied anxiously.

"That- That's great! Does anyone else know?"

"I only really realised a few weeks ago, so... no. But compared to anyone else, I probably trust you the most to not like- tell anyone?" He said, looking over at me again.

"Well, I appreciate the completely undeserved confidence you have in me," I joked, realising too late that now probably isn't the time for that, "Yeah, I promise I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you," He replies, a genuine smile strewn across his face.

A few minutes go by as we walk down the road, absorbing the positive energy we created. Having only known Tyler for a little over two months, it definitely surprised me knowing that he trusted me more than anyone else to keep a secret like that... I mean, despite the short amount of time since I met him, I'm as close to him as I've been to Shaela for the past eight years. Maybe even closer? I barely even tell Shae about my actual problems, at least the non-surface level stuff. So yeah, I guess it makes sense that he would trust me with something so important, I know I would absolutely trust him if it were me in that situation.

"...So, do you think you're gonna tell your dad?"

He didn't say anything for a moment as he stared down at the ground beneath him, "I'll probably have to tell him soon, if he has to find out from some asshole that isn't me it'd make it ten times more difficult than if I just said it myself."

I agreed, and we let the conversation cut itself off as we finally approached Tyler's house. I followed him up the walkway and stood on the patio, making sure he actually got inside. He tries the doorknob eagerly, to no avail. Realising that it was locked, he reaches into his pocket for his key - again, to no avail.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me," Tyler mumbled under his breath, clearly done with tonight. All of the lights were off in the house, signalling that his dad was not awake.

"Maybe you'll wake him up if you knock? Then he can let you in."

"Nonono, he thinks I'm staying at your place! If he finds out I went to a party I'm in deep shit," He whispered.

Of course. If I had to lie to my parents, why would I expect anything different from anyone else?

"Okay, uhh... maybe we can make that lie... not a lie?" I said, sounding weirder than I'd like.

Tyler looked at me, confused for a moment, eyes widening as he realised what I meant, "I can't let you do that, I've already forced you through too much shit tonight."

"Oh, come on, of course you can sleep at my place for the night! My parents think I'm at your house right now, so I can just tell them that we both went over there early in the morning. They love you anyway, so it won't be a problem!"

He didn't move at all, still looking reluctant, "Are you sure it won't be... weird? I don't want to put you in an awkward situation cause of w- what I told you."

"Dude, that couch in my room has a hide-a-bed if you don't want to share mine. Either way, we're friends, aren't we? I trust you."

After a few moments of silence, he speaks up, "...I guess so-"

"Great, then it's settled!" I said, putting my arm around his shoulder as I led him back down the walkway.

---

Once we make it to my place, walk up the creaky wooden steps of my patio as I fish the house key out of my pocket. Tyler's standing closely behind me, looking awkward as ever, clearly not knowing what to do with his hands as he switches between putting them in his pockets and clasping them together.

I turn the key on the lock and try the door, noticing that It's completely pitch black inside the house. My parents usually go to bed at 10 PM, and it was well past that at this point. I lock the door behind us as I reach for my pocket, grabbing my phone and flipping it open to use as a barely-useful flashlight. I take Tyler's wrist as I lead him through the furniture of my living room and up the stairs. The only sounds in the house come from the soft ticking of a clock in the kitchen, the sound of which has always freaked me out whenever I'd come downstairs at three in the morning. Despite my best efforts to be as quiet as possible, the old wooden boards of the stairs prove my effort to be futile as they creak with every step. I can only hope that both of my parents have fallen asleep by now, or else they'd definitely have heard us. As I take Tyler down the hallway, walls strung with various family photos and art fit for a motel, I hear no sounds coming from the master bedroom, relaxing some of my tension.

Once we make it to my room, I breathe a sigh of relief as I turn on the overhead light, hoping my mom doesn't find out and try to lecture me in the morning, "Okay, hide-a-bed or mine, your choice!"

"Hide-a-bed." He replies.

"Sure thing, lemme show you how to set it up," I say as I remove each couch cushion one by one. The couch is sitting directly under my massive bedroom window, illuminated by the glow of the moon. Under the cushions is a black folded-up contraption, bearing a metal handle. I grab the handle and start pulling the bed out from the couch. As the first section of the bed comes out, Tyler stands next to me and helps unfold the second section, and finally the third.

I move over to open the closet door, "I have some spare pillows and blankets in here."

"So, why do you have a spare bed... thingy... in your room anyway?" He asked.

"My cousins' family came to visit from the other side of the country a few years back, so my parents made the cousins stay in my room and gave me our old couch that used to be in the living room. They were here for like two weeks, it was fucking awful," I remarked, pulling a comforter out of the closet and unfolding it out on the mattress.

"That sounds miserable," Tyler sympathized.

"It was, but hey, now I got a sick as fuck couch in my room! And it works as a great place for certain friends to sleep when they wanna spend the night," I said sarcastically, looking over at Tyler as I grabbed the pillows from the closet, tossing them to one end of the bed.

He turned his head, baffled, "Was that a dig on me?" He questioned.

"Depends on how you took it I suppose," I replied, smiling cunningly.

"You're the one who offered, dude- are you sure you didn't drink at the party? You've at least doubled your usual level of sarcasm." He retorted.

"Nope, unless somebody spiked my soda!" I joked, but the realisation slowly set in, "Oh shit- maybe someone spiked my soda?!?"

"Don't freak out, I seriously doubt someone would spike your drink,"

"God, I hope so, if my parents found out I went to that party, that'd be one thing, but if I got drunk? I doubt I'd see the outside world for months," I sighed.

"Even if you were drunk, it's not like you would still be drunk in the morning for them to find out, anyway."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said, letting out a yawn shortly thereafter. "Fuck, I didn't realise how tired I am." Looking at my alarm clock, it was 10:37 PM. That wasn't terribly late, I've definitely stayed up later when there was an assignment due the next day that I forgot about, but even before I met up with Alex and Elliot, that party was just wearing me down. "At least I can sleep in 'till like noon tomorrow. You sure you don't need anything before I pass out from exhaustion?"

"No, I'm okay, I think. And, thank you... Jake." He replied, smiling at me.

"No problem, dude!" I quietly exclaimed as I turned off the bedroom lights and hopped into bed. I can practically feel my muscles dissolve as I lean into the mattress, pulling the heavy blankets over me as I close my eyes.

I can't help but feel something itching in the back of my brain. I never did find out why Tyler was even crying back at the party. Was it related to what he told me after? He sounded pretty upset when he was talking to whoever it was in the hallway, too, so maybe that was why? We've already talked about so much shit tonight, though, and I definitely did not have the energy to have another huge conversation about something like that. It could definitely wait until tomorrow.

Soon, I feel my consciousness drift away, the only sound I can make out being the slow breathing of Tyler, across the room.

---

As I wake up, I'm blinded by the bright sun shining in through my windows, directly into my eyes. I glance over at my alarm clock, feeling incredibly groggy and sore, noticing that it's 11:13 AM. Usually, the latest I'd sleep in on weekends was only around ten, but I guess it took a lot of my energy yesterday to try to tune the party out. At least it's over.

I slowly sit up, yawning as I lean back against the bed frame. I glanced around the room, noticing that the hide-a-bed had been folded back into the couch, Tyler nowhere to be seen. I reach over to my bedside table to check my phone, finding an unread text from him, sent a few hours ago.

Tyler: hey

woke up early, figured youd want 2 sleep in.

will call u later, might have somthin big i wanna share, will see

A pair of oddly cryptic messages. Guess that confirms he isn't here anymore.

At least it was a Saturday, meaning that I had full permission to be a slob. I get out of bed, deciding to skip my usual shower until after breakfast. Other than the snacks that were out at the party, I ate practically nothing last night. I could almost feel my stomach turning itself inside out, so I hurried out of my room and downstairs to the kitchen to have some breakfast.

The first thing I notice when I get downstairs is my mom, sitting on the couch with a book. I head straight to the kitchen, trying not to make myself stand out.

"Jake! Finally woken up, I see." She remarked, still looking at her book.

"Hey, mom!" There's a moment of silence as I grab a bowl out of the cupboard, as well as a box of cereal, and begin to pour.

She speaks up, "Your friend, Tyler, seemed to be in a hurry to leave this morning, anything I should know about?"

"...Not that I know of? Like what?" I questioned as I poured some milk from the fridge, grabbed a spoon, and sat at the kitchen counter.

"Well, it's not like we didn't notice that you weren't home by ten like your father asked you to be, so obviously you must have a good excuse for why you didn't at least call to let us know you'd be late?" She replied. I could tell when she started talking all responsible-parent-like, it meant that she was gonna lecture me about something.

I sighed, thinking of the right thing to say. "...Well, Tyler was going through some things... so I was trying to help him with that, I guess. Time just kinda flew by and I wasn't able to get home 'till later."

"So he spent the night here? Weren't you at his house?" She asked as I ate a spoonful of cereal.

"Yeah... we went out for a bit and once I noticed how late it was I offered to let him spend the night at our house since it was closer," I said. Almost entirely a lie, but definitely preferable to the truth.

"Jake..." She said, setting her book down on the coffee table in front of the couch, walking over to me, and resting a hand on my shoulder. "You're sixteen now, obviously we don't expect you to tell us everything you're up to nowadays. But we worry about you! I worry about you. Just for future reference, please let us know if you're gonna be home late or anything like that."

"Okay, I'll keep that in mind," I said, looking up at her.

"Great! Now, I have to go meet a friend for lunch, please try not to burn the house down while I'm out!" She said as she grabbed her purse and keys off of the counter, hurring out the door.

"No promises, love you!" I said as she closed the door behind her.

Well, I guess that went... better than expected? I doubt she believed that story I made up, but I guess as long as I don't break curfew without telling them, I should be fine.

Having the house to myself wasn't totally uncommon. Considering my dad was gone during the day five days a week, and my mom would head out to go meet friends or run errands pretty often, I got some much needed alone time often enough to not go mad.

As I finish my bowl of cereal, I realise that I probably should go shower as soon as possible, considering the night I had. I put my bowl and spoon in the dishwasher and head back upstairs. I grab a towel from my room and head into the bathroom, grabbing my various fur care products out of the cabinet for after the shower. As I turn the shower on, I hear the sound of my ringtone going off in the pocket of my pants on the floor. I sigh annoyedly, walking over and trying to figure out which pocket my phone was in. When I flip open the phone, the Caller ID reads out Tyler's name.

"Tyler! What's up?" I ask eagerly, hoping to find out what the news he cryptically texted about was.

"Jake- fuck, I messed up, I shouldn't have- what am I gonna do?" He said anxiously, sounding almost out of breath.

"Hey! Slow down, what's wrong?" I questioned.

"I'm such a fucking idiot! Why did I think this would be a good idea? Jake, I'm so sorry-"

"Tyler! Calm. Down. Just take a few deep breaths," I said. After a few moments, I can hear his breathing steadying on the other side of the call. "Okay, good. Now, what's wrong?"

There's a short pause as he tries to find the right words to say. It sounds like he's been crying. What even the fuck has been the past twenty-four hours?

"Can- do you think I could crash at y- your place for a few more nights? I don't know what to do."

#story #novel #interlude #writing #novel writing #vestige #town #coming of age #lgbtq #gay #furry #wattpad

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kindlespice · 4 years

Note

ooooh skin stuff?? what products do you use / what's your routine? im super nosy and fascinated about this stuff lol

oof, sorry this took so long to answer, i ended up writing a whole damn novel… my b. Anyway i buy my skin care pretty much exclusively from yesstyle (minus a few exceptions, but i’m always open to new suggestions! i am gonna take a look at jolse soon) so i’ll just link the products from there. Also i have a little dinky code for like 2-5% off if you wanna save like… $1 it’s 5NAYTT

Disclaimers before i start though, I have normal skin (i know i’m so lucky uwu) so i generally don’t stress about whether my products work better or worse for dry/oily skin—but i do tend to favor more hydrating/moisturizing products. Also i’m no esthetician or dermatologist, most of my knowledge comes from product reviews, skin care videos, and my own personal experiences. So basically take everything I say and share with a grain of salt :))

We’ll start out easy with my morning routine:

1.) Mostly i start by wetting my face with warm water. you can also wet it in the shower if you’re a morning shower-er(?) but i’m not lol. IF my skin is feeling really dirty in the morning for some reason though (like if i sweat real bad on a summer night or drown in a pool of drool x-x) i’ll start with the Perfect Whip foaming cleanser

i find that most mornings, bc of my more extensive night routine, my face isn’t often in need of a cleanser

but i really like this bc you get SO MUCH use out of so little product; i use less than a dime-size amount per wash. but i do use this little foam maker thingy which builds up a better and faster foam than using my hands—not necessary but very convenient. there’s also foaming nets you can try, but i’m not familiar with them.

i don’t completely dry my face after use; i like it damp when i apply the toner

2.) Apply Klairs Supple Preparation Toner

i personally use the original version as i don’t mind essential oil scents, and my skin doesn’t react negatively to them. If oils bother you for whatever reason though, you might want to try the unscented version!

i also pour this into a spray bottle (you can pick these up pretty much anywhere but these are cute if you wanna order some) and apply via spray. No reason other than I just don’t want to buy cotton pads :)

3.) Apply Snail Repairing Essence

i use this pretty much as a moisturizer but you might want to use an additional cream or something if your skin is on the drier side?

4.) Apply SPF

okay so… i don’t actually have a rec for this bc i just use whatever my mom has. and i haven’t actually gotten a korean sunscreen yet bc i don’t go outside and i’m that person (who is v dumb) and doesn’t apply spf consistently in the winter -.- but rest assured, i’ll get some eventually lololol

Okay like i said, pretty easy in the morning! I don’t use essences, just bc i’m still young and a lot of them seem to be focused on anti-aging things that aren’t my main concern. And I prefer to use my serum at night bc it’s got vitamin C and i just told you i’m bad at sunscreen

But night time is where it gets complicated fun:

1.) Hop in the shower (but if you’re not a nighttime shower-er then you can just cleanse out of the shower) and go in with the Clean It Zero cleansing balm (this also has other versions: purifying, revitalizing, and nourishing but i’ve only ever used the original)

i usually do double cleansing at night, so this is my oil-based “first cleanser”

but i have been known to um… “gloss over” this step if i’m being lazy….. -.-

i like oil-based cleansers bc they’re a nice, gentle way to remove makeup (as opposed to wipes and stuff) and i do use this to remove eye makeup as it personally doesn’t irritate my eyes; i also prefer balms over straight up oils bc they’re more fun ^-^

anyway, i massage it on, emulsify, and rinse! also, if you’re not in the shower, i would keep my face damp after rinsing.

2.) Perfect Whip foaming cleanser while still in the shower

pro-tip, if you have a foam maker, i would make the foam BEFORE you start. that way you can just apply it right after the balm!

again, i keep my face damp after rinsing off the foam and hopping out of the shower

3.) Klairs Supple Preparation Toner returns!

again, i have mine in a spray bottle so i spray it on and tap it in!

4.) IF IT’S SUNDAY, then i will go in with the Lemon Sparkling Peeling Gel next

this is a chemical exfoliator (i finally ditched my knock-off st. ives XD) and i only use it once a week

5.) IF IT’S SUNDAY, and i have one available, i’ll put on a sheet mask next

sheet masks are… honestly all the same to me lol but i order these innisfree ones all the time; my regulars being green tea, tea tree, and aloe (they’re actually cheaper on their website tho so…). i also really wanna try the A’PIEU Milk Packs particularly in banana and strawberry, so i’ll probs order and try those out when i can justify spending the money on a whole bunch (knowing me i’ll turn it into a whole $40+ order lol)

i leave these on for 15-20 minutes (usually 20), take it off, and pat the remaining product into my skin

also there’s usually some left over on the other side of the mask and/or in the package that i’ll massage onto my neck and body (we try not to do not waste product in this house!!)

if i’ve done a mask, then i will most likely skip this next step

6.) Apply Klairs Vitamin C Drop

this is pretty much my daily serum as it helps with improving my dark spots and hyper pigmentation (my main skin concern)

i take 3-5 DROPS in my hand… that’s it, i literally wasted so much before i finally decided to stop dropping it onto my face.

apply and pat that bad boy all over!!

7.) Snail Repairing Essence returns!

again this is my probably-not-supposed-to-be-but-idfc moisturizer so i just slap it on!

8.) Almost done, here’s the Snail Repair Eye Cream

this is actually new, but i bought a smaller tube bc 1. i didn’t want to spend a bunch of money on something that might irritate my eyes. and 2. i didn’t. want. to spend. a bunch. of money. but the little nozzle is actually really helpful for getting a small, good amount of cream actually XD

so i’ll squeeze a little line (more like an oblong dot tho) under each eye and use my ring fingers to glide that up to the lid and pat in the product.

9.) Last one! Berry Lip Mask

basically…. i even buy korean knock-offs lololol

i just apply this to my bottom lip (my top lip never causes me issues??) and let it sit over night

Anddddd that’s everything! Very nearly got to that 10 step dream but, no essence, no clout i guess. Anyway, i do have some additional pro-tips too:

If you’re buying/trying new skin care products, be patient and introduce them slowly. it’s hard, but this way—if one or more products are causing a reaction—it’s easy to just cut it out of the routine. Also i like to think it gives your skin time to become used to the new ingredients and to “normalize” before piling on new stuff (but that could be total bs lol)

“Listen” to your skin; use products that make YOUR skin feel good, and use products when YOU need them. especially with serums and stuff, invest in products that will help you to address your skin concerns and achieve your skin goals (whatever those may be at the time)—and not someone else’s. Also don’t be afraid to admit if a product’s not working, better to chuck it than ruin your skin you know?

From someone who’s experienced a very unpleasant, burning unibrow :))) don’t remove hair on exfoliation day and avoid putting a lot of product on sensitive areas. Also, doing some sort of cleanse before hair removal helps to reduce the risk of dirt and stuff getting into the exposed skin.

Oh and be gentle with your exfoliators (whether physical or chemical) DON’T SCRUB FOR THE LOVE OF PETE to avoid cuts and burns!

If you have a spot (or feel one coming up) , use some sort of spot treatment. you’re much less likely to pick with something if it’s covered up by a patch (these are my faves) which will reduce irritation and formation of dark spots.

Be as hygienic as possible! There’s no towel drying steps in my routine for two main reasons. 1, i like keeping the moisture and hydration from the water as long as possible. and 2, bacteria. is. everywhere. Towels are pretty gross when you think about it and limiting contact between them and your face will probably greatly improve your skin’s health. Also avoid touching nozzle or dropper applicators directly to your hands or face: that way the applicator won’t come in contact with any bacteria or germs and transfer that gunk onto your face every time you use it. Washing your hands and/or tools that DO touch your face is also important in, again, reducing the spread of random gunk.

Take it slow, relax, and enjoy it! Skin time is my relaxation time (especially sunday nights oml so awesome!!), it’s honestly one of the best parts of my day just being able to kick back and take care of myself. Try not to make it a chore, it isn’t supposed to feel regimented or overwhelming, but relaxing and fun!

Okay that’s really it!! And yeah this got really really long….. sorry if you actually only wanted my yesstyle recs XD

#i really didn't mean for it to be this long #i just kept on typing #idk this stuff gets me excited lolol #let me know if any of you guys use these products or have any recs #i'm always on the hunt for new stuff to try!!#plus i'm also nosy and fascinated by people's routines and go-tos XD #asks #should i start a skin care tag?#i'll put it here just in case #kspice.care #non sims #Anonymous

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cozyteez · 4 years

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Hii, do u have any tips for writing fics?? I’m so used to writing research reports, lab reports, and formal essays that creative writing has become something I really struggle with. I guess it’s having the freedom to write anything and not knowing how to make sure it’s not corny. I tried outlining a fic one time but it was so frustrating LOLOLOL. Anyways, I love your ateez fics. They are so cute and creative!!

hi !!!! im like rlly touched u asked me and i feel u actually that's why i started this blog; im a biomedical engineering major so as u can imagine i dont get to take much creativity with what i write because writing papers and reports and proposals are so formulaic and u gotta stick to the facts so that being said i actually tested out of all my college writing classes so all my writing knowledge is from ap english in hs lmao so take it w many grians of salt

the #1 thing i do when im feeling sort of unmotivated about a story or maybe like like dragging myself thru mud to write it is to just write the "fun" part first. to me the fun part is usually the climax or maybe the like the "wouldn't it be cute if..." moment that came to mind that inspired me to write a blurb in the first place! then usually once i sort of get the ball rolling on that my brain will help me out and keep the momentum going by thinking of maybe "oohh okay maybe this can happen next" or "oohh and what if this led up to it" or !! just stop there !! something ive learned from my mx writing blog which is like a year older than this one was that you don't owe anybody context especially for a blurb so maybe it really is just 3 sentences of a cute moment u thought of like its whatever ur the one writing it

now for longer fics im going to be honest jongho's first love is my first and only completed attempt at a multi stage coherent story. and that was fueled purely based on the fact that when i look at jongho he just gives off sort a really excited sort of innocence that i wanted to further explore and personify through the idea of him experiencing love for the first time but even then i really struggled w the last part because that's where my personal experience stopped and i had basically nothing to go off of because ive never been in love so i did have to kinda wait for ideas to come to me. for prince yunho i have posted 4 chapters but have all the way through chapter 15 drafted. and by drafted i mean it's like 3 sentences of the overall idea. again, the fic was inspired by the duality between yunho's on stage vs. off stage persona where if somebody was to watch an ateez performance for the first time they may find him very serious and maybe even intimidating but atiny would know that his off stage persona (the one he choses to create for us anyways) is very silly and happy-go-lucky and approachable, which is why prince yunho is seen as narameth's strong and stoic pride and joy but in reality he's sort of clumsy but means well. so i let that and his relationship w xenia who is an original character (OC) sort inspire stories or interactions that i force into a plot line. so for example i believe when i first started thinking abt a prince au for yunho i thought "wouldn't it be funny if the first scene started out painting him as this strong and serious man and then cut to him choking on food or something" and that sort of inspired the idea of him being nervous abt the speech and then xenia came out of that because he needed a complementary character imo since i knew he was gonna be kind of one dimensional and then his backstory with xenia inspired other ideas and then one day i was sad and wanted a hug so that inspired a piece of the plot line and so on. so basically: let an idea or even an aspect of somebody come to you and just write it down, let it inspire other ideas. and don't be afriad to completely start over. i wrote a whole chapter for prince yunho and deleted the whole thing because i hated where it was going and started back from scratch. sometimes you have to revisit things abt your characters and their relationships with others to get a new idea. there's a story in every person and every relationship you just have to find the clues

here's an example of what i mean by "write the good part first". this is typically what the very first draft of a blurb will look like for me

((( blah blah blah basically its raining and y/n is sad bc wooyoung broke her heart two weeks ago idk maybe go into it maybe not)))

y/n is all sad and feeling sorry for themselves on the couch theyre past crying but still feel pretty shitty plus it's storming and cold outside. great

there's a knock on their door ofc they have the cliche "who could that be moment" even tho they lowkey know. we literally all know

so yeah wooyoung's there soaked in rain eyes puffy y/n thinks he's been crying

-this would be the "fun part". i'll fix all that garbage up top later or maybe even change it completely idk yet-

"y/n? i - uh. hi"

he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck while you crossed your arms over your chest, fighting the urge to close the door and walk away for good

"hi? really wooyoung? is that the best you can do?"

(((wooyoung does smth idk)))

"well i just -"

"you just what? showed up here in the rain after you broke my heart and didn't even bother to tell me why? this isn't some romance movie, asshole. you can't just come here late at night and expect to find me all sad and willing to take you back because i'm not. so say what you're gonna say so i can get back to my life"

your face was red hot and you trying very hard, probably too hard, to fight back tears. ((( idk talk some more abt y/n's emotions then what wooyoung is doing)))

"look, i made a mistake i-"

"oh my god! why did i know you were gonna do this. i just knew as soon as i saw you-"

"will you let me get a fucking word in!?"

well that was new. in the entire time you'd known him he had never raised his voice at you like that, your shock causing you to immediately close your mouth and fold your arms back into yourself (((make y/n seem more scared))) noticing your reaction, he lowered his voice back down and instictively reached for you, heartbroken at the way you jerked away from his touch

"please y/n, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to raise my voice it's just that i need to tell you that i regret what i did i regret breaking up with you so fucking much and you don't have to take me back i just need you to know how much you meant, no, mean to me. i still love you, a lot. there's not a day, an hour, a minute, or a single second that goes by that i'm not thinking of you"

"then why?"

your voice was small and wavering, your tears now dangerously close to spilling down your cheeks

"why what?"

"why did you break up with me like that, just all of a sudden"

he pushed his hands into his pockets and looked away

"because that morning i woke up before you and when i looked at you asleep next to me, i saw myself spending the rest of my life with you and it scared the shit out of me"

"why did it scare you?"

"because i just figured you didn't feel the same. i was selfish and wanted to save myself heartbreak down the line and so i told you i didn't wanna be with you anymore, but that was a mistake because it turns out i can't function with out you, i can't breathe without you i can't live without you, y/n. i shouldn't have let you go"

tears were now freely flowing down your face (((okay brain no work anymore y/n kisses him duh and then ofc they make up wooyoung prob says smth cheesy and y/n is like ur lucky i love you or smth ahaha the end)))

tl;dr -> don't be afraid to get messy. creative writing is not nearly as structured as academic/scientific writing. write whatever u want first it can even be the middle of a huge fight scene or some dialogue u think is funny. if ur stuck read what you have or maybe just take a break and let an idea come to you. a story doesnt have to come together til the very end so it can be as messy and out of order as u want until u wanna post it. also i would always use the third person omniscient point of view for a longer story like a chaptered fic as a default and only change if it would impact the plot in a negative way. this is where the narrator knows what every character is thinking/feeling and im p sure a teacher in middle school told me it was the easiest to write and follow

#sorry i got carried away #also rmbr how i was like my brain cant stop imagining dramatic and disgusting love confessions in the rain? i meant like that #it's so chessy ik 😔 bleh #amanda talks

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prorevenge · 6 years

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Destroy my childhood, ruin my chance at college, and laugh when I said I was homeless? Lol cool, I'll ruin your f*cking life.

warning: this is a VERY long story with few updates and TL:DR at the end.

BACKSTORY: My mother was a really shitty person. I have 4 other siblings. One older sister, 3 way younger, 3 different dads. Before I was born (im a male btw), my oldest sister was taken away from my mother when she was a few months old because she tried to stab/slice the father of my sister WHILE HE WAS HOLDING HER. She lost custody and the dude left her. Older sister goes to live with her fathers family in a different city. CUE LIL OL ME COMING INTO THIS SEXY WORLD. My dad went to jail 2-3 years after I was born for a while, I rarely saw him. He's an alcoholic if that matters. She was a single mother but she made it work and she worked hard. One of the bigger problems was that she took out all her aggression and hatred of my father on me as well as work stress and etc. She dealt with sexual abuse growing up which I'm sure definitely affected her relationships and how she treated me as well. Anyways...

Cue me being abused from the age of 4-5 to about 17. Every day was hell. She was extremely strict and her perspective was warped. She was also pretty big in stature and had alot of strength. Examples of her being shitty: I've gotten beaten up badly once because HER room was dirty. The dishes weren't washed and I got beaten soon as I got home, even if there weren't dishes when I left to school. If i walked too loud, id get my ass beat. She broke my nose for looking at her the wrong way on my 10th birthday when she brought me a cake I was allergic too(It had peanuts, she knows im slightly allergic but feigned ignorance..) It was more or less every day or every other day. She used her fists/elbows/extension cords/hangers/chairs/canes/bats/etc. Whatever she could find I was getting beaten with. I couldn't ever escape to my room for long because she would always call me every few minutes to get her things or to yell at me. She never drank or did drugs or anything. Whenever she was upset and I happened to be in front of her she'd kick me down the stairs to make me hurry up. She's put a knife to my neck before and had to be forcibly stopped by her bf of the time. Burned my Christmas presents from other people (she didnt get me anything that year) and just other really shitty things. The only thing I will say, she tried really hard to make up for it with video games and electronics and etc. It didn't make a difference to me though, it never helped.

She controlled most aspects of my life. I got by with little petty revenges. Peeing in the Lipton iced tea she drank. Rubbing her forks and spoons between ny buttcheeks before i served her dinner. Ignoring her screams for help when she had kidney stones (how tf am i supposed to help anyways??) But by the time i got to highschool I turned to alcohol. I resented her and the negative atmosphere affected who I was as a person. I started to be cold and uncaring. Calculated. She started kicking me out every few months telling me to find somewhere else to live by age 15. She sent me away to a different country for a year and tried to keep my passport but I made it back to the US with the help of the embassy and my step father (she'd already left by that time and found some other dude). I came back senior year with no credits for the prior grade which ended with me getting a GED. I spent most of the time i could with my best friend and started working shitty jobs. I was terrible at saving as i had accumulated loads of shitty habits while growing up so it didnt make much difference. She eventually told me that If i went to college, I would ALWAYS have a place to live until I finished. Cue my first 2 semesters at a 2 year college, I maintained a 3.7ish gpa. My teachers loved me and it was my escape. Towards the end of my 2nd semester during finals, i came home late one night around 10pm and my mother yanks the door open screaming in my face asking when I'll move out. I'm slightly drunk and decide to completely ignore her and walk to my room. If I opened my mouth, that day would be the day I blew up and cursed her out. I've rarely ever raised my voice at her because it never ended well. Now at this point im 19 and I've been doing school full time with no savings. Im also fairly fit and could easily take my mom at this point (Never laid a hand on her or any woman, i hate violence). I get to my room, she rips my door open, and starts yelling. I say nothing and stare at her. She walks away and called the police on me saying she thought id murder her and my younger siblings. I don't know where the fuck she got that idea from as she's the one who's nearly killed me many times.

I packed everything into a duffle bag and left 5 minutes afterwards. I failed all of my finals because I couldn't make it to my school. Things kinda spiraled and the next 2-3 years were me on and off homeless. I survived the best I could in a big city with no college degree and made a lot of shitty choices due to my shitty habits. Eventually i found a profitable hobby that gave me meaning and through that i started to work my way up. Got my own apartment, had a full time job, and did my hobby on the side. I hadn't kept up contact with my mother at all but my younger sister who was old enough to have a phone found me on social media so i saw photos and such, she didn't have it anywhere near as bad but she did get beaten occasionally. My mother reached out via email all smiles asking how I've been. Now guys, ive always been envious of the relationship most ppl have with their moms so I gave her a chance and gave her a call. We talked for a few minutes and everything was civil and seemed like things would go okay but then...

She asked me what I've been up to the last few years and I told her honestly, that I was homeless for a while and struggled a lot after what she did to me but I worked my way out of it. SHE LITERALLY LAUGHS. She laughed for a few seconds in a very condescending kinda chuckle and then said "I never did a thing to you so you don't know what abuse is! its your own damn fault you were homeless. So how about yo-" but by that point I hung up. I was speechless and fuming. I don't know what abuse is? OKAY BITCH. IVE SPENT TOO FUCKING LONG LETTING YOU DESTROY MY SANITY. NOW IS THE TIME.

There was a few things my mother didn't know. One, I knew for a fact that current well paying job she had was gotten on lies as she never got her college degree and lied about it on her resume. Two, I had access to all of her email accounts and cloud storage accounts since I was the one that set them up when I was younger and she never changes her passwords. Lastly, she DEFINITELY wasn't aware that from 13yrs old and onto the last time she hit me I took photos of ALL my bruises/marks/wounds/bloody noses saving them to my computer and then google drive. ON TOP OF THAT, my little sister had been sending me photos via social media of the bruises she got from my mom.

The first thing I did was compile ALL of those photos/videos into one folder. I then reached out to CPS in my city and explained that my siblings were being abused, how I was abused in the past, and that I had mountains of proof. Since ive called the cops on my mother before AND the thing that happened with my older sister, there was immediately a home visit. They arrived almost a day later with the police and coincidentally my mother was literally in the process of beating my younger sister when they were knocking. Cue an Emergency removal of all my siblings from the house and my mother getting arrested though she was released hours later. (I was getting a day to day play by play because my mothers best friend is a blabber mouth and everything my mother said she told her son who relayed it to me without either of their knowledge.) I sent CPS all the evidence and there's a legit case against my mother now. The next day I emailed and then called up her job to inform them that she had lied about having a very necessary college degree as well current events in her life which sparked a background check. She was fired days later. Say adios to 75k and a blacklist in the only industry you know how to work. I then spitefully deleted every cloud account and email address I ever made for her, which was all of them which im sure will make keeping up with alot bills and etc nearly impossible. I then anonymously reported her to the IRS because of the tax fraud she committed for years by claiming people's children that weren't hers with ALOT of detailed information since I lived with her while she did it.

So now, my mother lost all her kids and her job. Im meeting with a caseworker from CPS next week to talk more about what happens moving forward but I do know they're NOT going back. Idk how she's gonna pay her mortgage now and survive. I'm sure she's gonna get a call from the IRS who'll be looking for a few thousand dollars she owes them. She also has to go back to court in a few months, not exactly sure what she was charged with but ill update when I find out how everything turns out.

Side Note: She isn't aware im the cause of any of this. I plan on keeping tabs on her and waiting until it seems like she's close to death before I tell her it was all me and I peed in her Lipton.

Updates:

1) I am psychologically not in the position to take care of my younger siblings or take on a parental role. I came very close to suicide 2 years ago and im just trying to work on my alcohol problem and other habits that keep me in a cycle of instability. No I haven't been to any programs or therapy, I don't think it will help me in regards to my nearly constant apathy and etc.

2) My 2 youngest siblings weren't really bothered much. It was mostly my little sister after I left who got beatings but luckily it wasn't anything near the level I had to deal with.

3) Im also incapable of taking custody because I don't have an apartment anymore due to bad decisions I made while drinking recently. So I'm back to homeless but I crash with a friend once in a awhile. I am very well aware I am an influence on my younger siblings and I'm trying to stay consistent with doing everything I can to be a better and more stable person for them so that maybe I can finally build a real relationship with someone in my family. I'm sorry to disappoint everyone who keeps wishing me more success.

4) Aside from my little siblings, I have zero contact with anyone else in my family. And even then, its been very rare because I had to avoid my mother to see them and didn't want her knowing i kept in contact (Meeting my little sister after school, facetime, etc). The rest of my family were well aware of what she did and distanced themselves. I don't plan on reaching out to them as im not good at maintaining relationships with mostly anyone anyways.

TL;DR - My mother abuses me badly for most of my life as well as my younger siblings. I have to drop out of college and support myself after she drove me to homelessness. She proceeds to laugh at me about me being homeless and denys abuse. So I ruined her life by getting my younger siblings removed and her arrested, making her lose her job, reported her to the IRS, and essentially set her up so that the remainder of her life is full of disaster and hardships.

(source) (story by howbout_that_lipton)

#pro revenge #by howbout_that_lipton #prorevenge #revenge stories #pro revenge stories #pro #revenge #revenge story

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mentalmimosa · 5 years

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long night in the castle of lions

Sometimes, the nights in the castle are long. Long and filled with a sort of infinite quiet, the sound of universe at rest that presses in from all sides. No noise from inside the ship can compete with it, that silence, not Lance’s snores or the singsong Hunk uses to talk himself into sleep: It’s ok. It’s all right. Everything is gonna be fine.

It isn’t. Keith’s pretty sure of that. Lions or legendary whatever notwithstanding, it feels like they’re pretty much screwed.

Galactic evil? Weapons that can blow away worlds? What kind of chance do they have against any of that?

Not good. Not fucking good.

He can hide those thoughts during the day, when they’re out and about saving the innocent and protecting what’s good, what seems right. But at night, when he has only the shadows and his own head for company, those thoughts drown him out, pull him knee deep into despair.

He doesn’t sleep much in the castle. He envies everybody who can: Pidge, who can curl into any corner and be asleep in ten ticks. Allura and Coran, who slept here for 10,000 years, for gods’ sake. And Shiro, their great and glorious leader, who strolls into the lounge for breakfast every morning looking like he’s just had a strong, solid eight.

“Good morning,” he’ll say to each of them, a smile and a pat on the shoulder for each. “How’d you sleep?”

Keith doesn’t bother to lie anymore, to put on an act of at ease and well-rested.

“Like shit, Shiro,” he’ll say, not bothering to raise his head from the purple stuff that passes for coffee. “Like absolute shit.”

The first time he’d said it, Shiro had startled, his hold on Keith’s shoulder going sudden and tight.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Didn’t get a wink.”

“Well,” Shiro had stumbled, “you, ah--did you try meditation?”

“Didn’t bother.” He’d looked up, looked back to see Shiro’s face drawn up and worried. “I never sleep a lot anyway. Even on Earth. I’m fine.”

Shiro hadn’t bought it then, didn’t buy it now, but Keith’s stuck to it, this little shade of untruth. No, he’s never taken refuge in sleep like some people but he’s never found it so elusive before, so willing to slip out of his grasp. After a while, he even finds himself missing his nightmares: the ones about crashing, the ones about falling, the ones about his mom’s voice. They feel like old friends, those dreams, that he’s no longer allowed to see.

And he’s tired. Dear gods, he’s exhausted. But even the softest Altean pillow and the pressure of darkness can’t kick him over to sleep, not the kind he needs, the kind that lets him sink into the bed and lasts for more than 20 minutes. That sort of sleep, it feels like, is long fucking gone.

*****

One night, or what passes for it in space, there’s a knock on his door.

That’s how he knows it isn’t Coran or Allura; they’d have gone straight for the chime. It’s not Hunk, either, because he favors shave and a haircut , and it’s not Lance because he’s a dick and would’ve pounded with both fists. And shouted. He’d definitely have shouted.

Pidge or Shiro, then.

And unless Pidge’s shot up a foot in the last few hours, the tapping is too tall for him. So.

“It’s alright, Shiro,” he calls, waving on the small bunkside lamp. “You can come in.”

The door slides open and Shiro steps in, frowning. “How’d you know it was me?”

“Lucky guess.”

“Right.”

It takes Keith a second to realize that Shiro looks weird. Well, not weird, but a lot less formal than usual; less like a Garrison Leader and more like a person. A person who’s wearing--

“Are those pajamas ?”

Shiro looks down at himself, looks back up at Keith, bemused. “To the best of my knowledge, yes. They’re not a matched set, but since it’s what I tend to sleep in, I think calling them pajamas is fair.”

“Oh. Sure.”

“I mean, if anyone’s attire is cause for comment, I think it’s yours. Aren’t those the clothes you wore today? And yesterday? And the day before that?”

“I put them through the ‘fresher every morning,” Keith says, defensive. “It’s not like I’m wandering around unwashed or something.”

“No, it’s”--Shiro holds his hands up, a little sign of surrender--“I wasn’t suggesting you were. Do you...is this what you wear every night?”

Keith bristles. “Yes. So?”

“So, maybe you’d have an easier time sleeping if you, you know, let yourself relax.”

“I am relaxed!”

Shiro’s mouth curves. “Yeah, obviously. Look at you. You’re the picture of rest and relaxation, Keith.”

Gods, what is it with this guy? “What are you doing here?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“Ugh.” Keith folds his arms across his chest, summons his best scowl. “You don’t need to be.”

“You haven’t slept in weeks. And that’s according to you. You don’t see a cause for concern?”

“I told you. I’m fine.”

Shiro steps towards the bunk, the lamp catching his face, the dark light of his eyes. “And I’m here as your friend to tell you you’re not. What happened with you and the Green Lion today?”

There’s a rush of heat in his face. “We--I lost track of it for a minute, that’s all.”

“And nearly crashed into its side. You could’ve been hurt. So could Pidge, along with both of your lions.”

“But I didn’t. Everything turned out fine. We got home in one piece, didn’t we?”

Shiro’s voice is terribly gentle. “Keith.”

“What?”

“That was just today. Last week, you almost went headfirst into that asteroid. And right before that, you--”

“Gods, shut up!” Keith says. There are tears in his eyes, tears, in front of freaking Shiro. It’s fucking horrific. “You don’t have to--I know I’ve screwed up, ok? I know each and every time I’ve made a mistake.”

“Keith--”

“I know I’m a fuck-up, alright? I know that, I know, you don’t have to come in here in the middle of the fucking night to remind me!”

“Hey,” Shiro says, a shot of steel in his voice, “no way. That’s not why I’m here.”

“Really? Really? Right. Sure, Shiro.”

“Damn it, don’t--!”

He shoves the tears from his cheeks and flies up, ready to punch Shiro if he has to, shove him out into the corridor, anything to make him go away. “Stop talking!” he barks. “Just shut up and get out of here!”

“No!” Shiro shouts, getting right in his face. “I’ve tried not talking to you about this, and you know what, that didn’t work! You’re still dead on your feet all the time, you still look sick, you still feel like you’re worthless and you think that you’re holding us back but you’re not, Keith! You’re not!”

Keith bares his teeth, balls his fists. “How the fuck do you know how I feel, huh?”

“How do I--?” Shiro looks furious. “What part of there are no secrets between paladins did you not understand?”

“What?”

“The mind-link,” Shiro says through gritted teeth. “When we’re Voltron. Do you not grok how it works?”

Keith snarls, tries to take a step back, but Shiro has him by the elbows like a vise. “You’ve been digging around in my head, then? That’s great. That’s real fucking leader-ly of you.”

“I’m not--I’m not digging around in your head! You’re broadcasting those feelings like they’re on a freaking repeater!”

“No, I’m not.”

“You are.” Shiro’s eyes are angry, his grip unrelenting. “Gods, don’t you see? The more tired you get, the louder your thoughts are. Your brain doesn’t have the energy to hold them back.”

There’s a sink of fear in Keith’s gut. He’s afraid it shows in his face; raises his voice just in case. “Well,” he spits, “that doesn’t mean you have to listen!”

“You’re impossible!” Shiro says through clentched teeth. “Honestly, gods, Keith, you’re the most--!”

There are a lot of things that rattle around in Keith’s head on those long nights in the Castle of Lions. Some nights, he can’t crawl out of sadness, can’t shake himself free of worry and doubt. Some nights, there’s fear: the shriek of Zarkon’s fighters; the screams of dying planets; the way the Red Lion trembles when he’s wounded.

But on some nights, when the silence is at its most still, Keith thinks about Shiro. Not the man who strides about with so much certainty, the man who never loses his cool, the man whose resolution, whose steadiness has held their shaky team together time and strange time again.

No, he thinks about the man he’d seen on the table on Earth, the man whose shackles he’d broken, the man who he’d half-carried, half-dragged into the open air, to the speeder, to safety. He remembers the weight of Shiro’s head on his shoulder and the stutter of his breath, the way he’d clung to Keith without reservation or shame, the soft grateful sounds he’d made against Keith’s neck as they staggered towards safety and away from chains and from fear:

Thank you, he’d murmured, his voice like a bruise. Whoever you are. Thank you.

And those thoughts slip sometimes into a dream, an imagined hour in his bed with Shiro bent over him, kissing him, petting at his skin until he cries out and making those same grateful sounds as he pushes into Keith’s body, fills him until there’s no room for thinking, no room for worry, no worry for something like doubt.

Keith, this dream-Shiro will murmur, his voice like a bruise. Thank you. Thank you.

On those longest of nights, the sweetest, he’ll take himself in hand and forget to muffle his cries. He’ll imagine the shape of Shiro’s mouth, the taste of its weight upon his, and stroke himself as Shiro would, slow and steady, each touch perfect and measured until it’s not, until they can’t be, until they’re fucking in earnest and all words are gone and there is, in the whole goddamn universe, only the two of them left, spend supernovas panting against each other’s hot skin.

And then, with the dream pulled about him, he’ll sleep, fall into a soft solid hour of respite but then awake feeling guilty, so fucking guilty, his flesh crawling in shame, and his eyes never close again after that.

Has he put that out into the mind-link? Those feelings, that momentary delusion. Does Shiro know about all of that, too?

“Fuck,” he says, frantic, twisting in Shiro’s arms, “do you ever shut up?”

“I don’t know. Do you ever listen?”

His heart is on fire, his whole body filled with panic. “Huh,” he spits, “maybe if you said something worth hearing.”

Shiro opens his mouth--to scold, to fuss, to shout, maybe all of the above--but in the same instant, their bodies collide, Keith’s thrashing crashing their hips together in a sweet sudden collision and oh, Keith thinks wild, disbelieving, oh gods, because Shiro is hard, stiff behind the soft turn of his sleep pants and he’s breathing startled into Keith’s face and not running away and this is a terrible idea, this isn’t even a thought, this is the best thing that Keith’s done all day:

He turns his face and jams his mouth against Shiro’s, less a kiss than a battering ram. It’s awkward and sideways and rushed and yet it makes Shiro moan, makes his hands fly up to cup Keith’s face and steady him, steady them, turn the awkward into something perfect and deep.

He tastes like Altean toothpaste, does Shiro, a dark, bitter berry. His tongue is demanding and his body unyielding and his fingers are cold, metal and skin both, and with all this, with just a kiss, he makes Keith see fucking stars.

“I didn’t come here for this,” Shiro whispers when they part, when their lips drift just enough to let words fly. “I mean, I’d be lying if I said I’d never thought about, um...but honestly, I came to see if you were all right.”

Keith slips his hand under the hem of Shiro’s t-shirt, lays his palm over cool, shivering skin. “Mmm, I know. But does that mean you want to stop?”

Shiro makes a tiny, pained sound, his cock twitching against Keith’s hip. “Stop? No. No no. Unless you--unless you want to.”

“No,” Keith says, biting gently at Shiro’s lip, his own curled up in a smile. “Definitely not.”

*****

In the morning, he’s slumped over his weird not-coffee when he feels a hand on his shoulder, a roughened voice saying: “Keith? How’d you sleep?”

He tips his head back and smiles. “Like a baby, actually. Once I got around to it. How about you?"

Shiro’s eyes are warm, his mouth still flushed. “About the same, actually.”

“Really? Huh. That’s funny.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Shiro touches the bruise he left on Keith’s neck, the only one the collar of his jacket can’t hide, and gives up a tired grin. “What a coincidence.”

The whole team is looking at them, aren’t they, and Lance is howling something tinged with disbelief but it’s fine, Keith isn’t worried about it; he’s not worried about a damn thing. For the moment, it’s the castle that’s bustling, brimming over with noise and ideas and life, while Keith’s head is quiet and settled, the joy of the night before pressing in on all sides.

“Good morning,” Shiro says, giving him one last squeeze, another lazy shot of a smile.

“Yeah,” Keith says to himself, to his last sip of coffee, to the goggled eyes of his teammates. “It is.”

#shiro #first kiss #season one

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earthghoul-mp4 · 4 years

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Idk what am doing(Also Trigger warning !!Abuse, Self-harm mentions, Drug use and Self starvation!!)

Alright so context: These characters are the Alternate versions of two other characters which is why there reffered to as “Alter Siri, Alter Subaru, Alter Kou, Alter Rina, Alter Melon’ and ‘Alter Akai” Subaru, Kou and Melon are all vampires in theyre universe and all of the (except Alter Siri) are part of the Crimson rose’s mafia (I didnt come up with most of this stuff, This happened a while back when I had discord) Alter M(Melon) has been shown to have a crush on Alter R(Rina), Alter S and K(Subaru and Kou) are dating. No one really knows about Alter Siri. Alter A(Akai), Is a dick-head brother. He and Alter M are twins with her being the younger of the two. Alter A has always been abusive, physically and mentally. So Alter M’s trust issues and low esteem, stem from him. Alter M and Alter S, intentionally chose, not to bite Alter R or Alter K. (Even though both have been very adamant about them doing so-) Alter R is in fact a Demon- (Not really sure what kind though-) UHM- Oh yeah, Alter M and Alter A’s parents were murdered when they were very young and Alter A was thought to be dead as well. (WHICH HE WASNT) Alter R’s mother was killed by Alter R’s hand and Alter R’s sister also died. Alter S and Alter K have been trying to set up Alter M and Alter R because its painfully obvious they like each other. THE MAIN THINGS TO REMEMBER: Alter A is a dick, Alter M is SUPPOSED to feed off Alter R but refuses to do so, Alter S and Alter K are the chaotic duo of the four, and Alter Siri stays out of their bullshit at all costs. Alter M and Alter K both have ADHD

Alter R lay awake on her bed staring up the ceiling. The storm outside was making it pretty hard to sleep, so there wasn’t any point in trying. There was a quiet knock on her door and Alter R looks up to see Alter M standing half-asleep in the doorway. “Cant sleep either, huh?” Alter M shook her head and walked over to Alter R. “Storms are always so pretty but they make too much noise..” Alter M whines as she flops onto Alter R’s bed. “Sounds like you-” Alter R realized how that sounded, but apparently Alter M didn’t. “Nuh uh, I dont make nearly as much noise as Kou-chan, and Baru-chan” Alter R laughed a bit “I’ve always found that family dynamic you three have very interesting.” Alter M sits up “Whats that s’posed to mean?” Alter R smiled “It just means that you three never cease to confuse me, Especially you” Alter M folds her arms across her chest “What’s that supposed to mean?!” Alter R sighs “I just mean, Ive never understood you, Or any of you for that matter. I’m not good with people, and probably never will be” The storm outside seeed to die down some to the point where it was just rain and Alter M smiles. “What’s got you all smiley?” Alter M’s hands ball up into fists and shake a little “Hehe! The rain! Do you hear it?” The gentle pitter-patter of the rain on the roof had Alter M’s brain go nuts, and Alter R found it adorable “Yeah, I do. It is a nice sound, huh?” Alter M smiled widely and nodded happily. Alter R laughed “You find the strangest things amazing, Alter M” Alter M drew her face into an angry pout “Nuh-uh I dont.” Alter R looked at her skeptically “How many people do you know can go from crying to almost perfectly fine when given a frog plush?” Alter M didnt respond “Thats not fair! Buttons is the best comfort plushie!” Alter R laughed. Alter flopped backwards onto Alter R bed and turned over to face the wall. “Aw c’mon-” Alter shook her head “Nu!” Alter R took a minute to decide what to do. “Hmm...Hehe...” Alter R decided to pick up Alter M. It wasnt hard with how small Alter M is. “Put me dooown, meanie” Alter R sat Alter M in her lap “Better?” Alter M was not prepared for that “HHHHHH-” Alter R was kinda oblivious to Alter M’s crush on her since she felt like she didnt deserve to be loved so she hid her feelings for Alter M, and hoped they’d just go away. Alter M hid her face in the collar of her sweater “Thats not fair...” Alter R laughed a little “How?” Alter M turned away “Cuz!” “Pfft- “cuz” how?” Alter M flapped her arms quickly “Cuz because!” Alter R realized how tired Alter M looked “Hey...When’s the last time you slept?” Alter M didnt respond “Alter M...” Alter M shrugged “I dunno...two..three days ago?” Alter R sighed “Its not my fault! Trying to sleep is hard” Alter R knew how that was. There were countless nights where she couldn’t sleep at all even if she tried. “When’s the ast time you had any water?” Alter M drew a black once again “Alter M!” Alter pulled her collar further over her face “I’m sorry!” Alter R sighs “Stay here, alright?” Alter M nodded. Alter R got up and walked down to the kitchen. “I shouldn’t be so hard on her, Its not her fault...But she’ll keep doing if someone doesn’t tell her other wise” Alter R sweared under her breath and folded her arms on the counter “Ri-chan...?” Alter R forgot Subarus and Kou’s room was down the hall from the kitchen “Hey Subaru..” Alter S walked over to her “You okay?” Alter R nodded “Yeah I’m fine, its super early though. You should get back to sleep.” Alter S just looked at her. “Yo hear yourself right? I should sleep? Whens the last time you had a full 8 hours of sleep, huh?” There wasnt an answer “Thats what I thought. Now what been keeping you up at night? Somethings bound to be wrong if you’re the one distraught” Alter R walked over to the fridge to get some waters “No ones distraught, alright?” Alter S knew better than that. “Then why is it that every night this week, without fail, You’ve been up in the middle of the night....For what?” Alter clenched her fist around one of the waters “For the last time...Its nothing!” Alter S let it go this time. “Just take of yourself, alright?” Alter R nodded and headed back upstairs. Alter S sighed and got a cup of ramen “She’s the one who worries me...She stretches herself thin for everyone else and just acts like she’s fine. I just wish she didnt keep everything bottled up. Both of them! Her and Mel-chan”

Alter M had fallen asleep on the end of Alter R’s bed “I didn’t tell her she had to stay awake..” Alter R picked up her phone to check the time “Damn...Its already three- thirty..” Alter R threw one her extra blankets over Alter M. Alter just curled up underneath of it, “pfft- That’s not how you use a blanket” Alter M picked up her head “Hm...?” Alter M sat up sleepily and looked at her. “Nothing, Nothing. I didnt say anything” Alter M hugged Alter R “Oh- ok...?” Alter R was never really one for physical affection, shes only ever really let Alter M hug her, any physical contact really. “Hey...You can let go now..” Alter M only hugged her tighter and Alter R realized she had fallen asleep. “Ah...Jeez...” Alter R was too tired at this point to care, so she just laid own with Alter M still hugging her. Around seven or so Kou came around to check on Alter R since she’s usually up by then. “Awww!” Alter R had held onto Alter M the whole night. Its not uncommon for Alter M to e hugging something especially when she’s asleep. Its more uncommon to see Alter R hugging anyone for long periods of time. “I dont think either of them have actually, slept, in a while” Kou walked off leaving Alter R and Alter M to sleep. Kou went to go get Subaru who had ultimately fallen alseep on the couch “Oiiii! Subaru.” Subaru rolled over off the couch “AGH- Shit!” Kou kicked him “SHHH- Ri-chan and Mel-chan are still sleeping” Subaru punched him “B!tch” Kou gasped dramatically “Ooo Ouch what a burn” Subaru just looked at him. Alter R stared down at them from the top of the stairs. They both knew they fucked up, Alter M appeared behind her looking half dead. “Im going back to bed...” Alter M turned on her heel and walked down to her room. “Wait yall two was in the same room???” Alter R walked down the stairs “Uhm...Yeah?” Alter S nodded “Mhm...” Alter R just gave him a confused look and went to get a coffee “And your still sure you dont have feelings for her?” Not many things can catch Rina off guard...This however, Caught her very off-guard “Yes I’m sure!” Alter S and Alter K gave her a look like “Uh huh” “Yeah well your face just about as red as your eyes” Rina threw a spoon at him “You shut your mouth!” They both started laughing and Rina just sipped her coffee “I’m gonna kill you both in your sleep...” Alter M stomped out of room “If y’all don’t shut the fuck up, I will burn all of your clothes” Everyone just looked at her “Let this be a godammned warning” Rina just kinda looked at her “Uhm- Okay then...” “Kinda saw that oe coming she’s always pissed off about something- Its just easier to piss hernoff if shes tired” Alter M threw her shoe at him “Ya damn right” Rina laughed and so did Kou “Thats not funny that hurt!” Melon went to grab a redbull but Rina stopped her. “Eh?” Rina looked her dead in the eyes and just told her “No” Melon just kinda looked at her “Fine” and went to go sit down. Rina grabbed her wrist “Subaru, Kou...Out. Now” Subaru and Kou knew something was boutta happen but when Rina said something ya best listen. Both of them left the room. “What?” Rina leaned back against the counter “....” Melon was throughly confused “What did I do??” Rina looked up from her mug “Whens the last time you ate anything?” Melon looked away “That requires an answer...” Melon refused to meet Rina’s eyes “Alter M...” Melon simply walked outside and into the woods Rina followed her but from a distance. “Maybe she just need some air...?” Melon sat down in the middle of a clearing and just stayed there

(End of part one cuz Im Lazy \(030)/)

What should happen next???

#im boreeed #vampire oc #discord #demonoc

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astropissbaby · 7 years

Text

Troll fic

So back in 2013 my friend and I decided we wanted to make a TERRIBLE FANFIC and we did here it is lmao Forbidden Love: Chapter One. I really haven't meant to make everyone so mad at me, I've just been far to stressed out at work, constant missions, everyone flipping shit on everything. Keyholes, hearts, completing kingdom hearts. Nag nag nag, never enough time to sit and play my sitar, so again I was sent off to do bitch work in the store rooms. Storing shit, taking inventory on their supplies. At lest I mused with a wary grin, I had time to myself to fuck off, Why doesn't anyone like me? Why does everyone think I'm stupid, I just just try so hard to please their majesties. I sat down on a box of organization 13 matching coffee mugs, for the employees to boost moral! I didn't even want the stupid fucken coffee mug, they made me pay 6 whole dollars for a cheap piece of breakable china shit that probably wouldn't even last a week. Well, i'm tired of their ching-chong China Shit. I'm gonna..... I'm gonna DO something about it! I edged store room, sneaking past the office thingy, going all double 007 on those hallways looking over my shoulder I felt SOOO bad ass had it in my sights the break room! Doing a cool ninja somersault behind some unsuspecting GIRLS!!!!11111 I quickly opened the door and snuck in shutting the door behind me uiet as a mouse. I opened the fridge door an looked through my eyes lazily jumping shelf to shelf until I saw the powered doughnuts. I LOVE DOUGHNUTS!!!! A satisfied sigh flowing past my lips at finding the thing I so wanted. Delicious powered doughnuts. grinning I lifted the bag out of fridge and opened it i ripped off the stupid tag that read "Axel" These straight to my ass, reclining back on a box of stupid employee plates, and dug into my stolen snack reveling in how naughty it was and how someone would have my balls in his mouth if he found out I was eating his doughnuts. As I was deep within the bag I could hear someone walking towards the break room, I looked up with an air of panic and quickly stuffed the bag of doughnuts down my cloak, wiping my white powdered hands off on the bottom of my cloak, Uh-oh. A quilty look fills my face as none other than Axel walks in, Him the owner of the doughnuts I had just devoured, Quickly I tried to hide only ending up tripping over myself breaking the special employee mugs in my haste. Oh shit. Axel walked into the room looking angry as ever. "You fucken little bastard, you better not be eatting MY powdered-" His green eyes widen as he takes in the white powder all over my face and hands. I stood up quickly my hands rising palm side out in a warding gesture . "DON'T SHOOT!" The words came flowing out of my mouth, before I could even think about something clever to say. The bag of doughnuts fell out of my cloak and fell upon the ground in a burst of white powder. He grinned slowly and walked towards me menacingly. "Well I'd hate to kill the suspense." he whispered in a low scary voice. I picked up the bag and started doing a SUPER OMEGA NINJA STAR ATTACK with the doughnuts, each one that hit him leaving a white mark in in its place. He stiffened for a bit taking the onslaught before a smile quirked up his lips as he picked them back and started flinging them back, before i got in a lucky hit and got him right where it counts throwing with enough force to double him over right in the vital regions. Axel doubled over "Oooh my mommy and daddy buttons." he groaned I started to laugh and he grabbed some doughnuts in his hand and pounces upon me driving me to the powder covered ground rubbing doughnuts into my face. The floor was covered in scuffed up footprint marred white, our wrestling covered our cloaks and hair in white powder I got up to my feet and shoved him away giggling. Axle shoved me up against the fridge pinning my hands above my head getting all up in my face grinning and panting slightly covered head to toe in white. " Hey, I just kicked your ass. Got it memorized?" He leaned in a little closer pushing against me harder, I tried to lean back, and BANG! CRASH! POW! BOOM! We knocked the fridge over, Axel landing on top of me briefly before someones voice yelled out "WHAT THE FUCK!?" and the sound of many feet. Running into see the shit going down in break room. Axel scrambled off me and yanked me to my feet. Xiomes WALKED IN seeing the destruction and mess. his eyes widening before he yelled "YOU TWO! MY OFFICE! NOW!!!!!!!!!!" CHAPTER 2: As we followed Xemnest down the ugly ass hallway Axel and I tried to figure out how we were going to get out of this fucking mess. "You fucking idoit!! If you didnt have to go do something stupid we wouldn't be in this predicament!" Axel whispered. As we walked, I could hear people whispering and laughing at us because we were covered in powder. We went from black to white like ying and yang or something else thats totally stupid and DOESN'T MAKE SENSE! "Oh yeah? Well if you didnt have such a wierd ass cold doughnut fetish this wouldnt have happened you moron!" I said in response to his stupid stupidity!! "WHAT?!?!! That was my lunch and nothing more!" Axel looked at my with angry green orbs. "Yeah! Ive seen you after work with your 'lunch' before, Axel! Ive seen what you have done to those poor doughnut souls!" "Oh my god... If you say anything to ANYONE im gonna--" Axel grabbed my cloak forcefully but was interrupted my Xemnas. "Shut the hell up back there!" We arrived at his office and walked with our heads hanging low like an old man's balls. We sat in the two chairs in front of his desk and mine made a gross farting sound when i sat. Xemnas glared at me while I looked as sorry as I could, even though it wasn't me. He sat there in front of us nonspeaking, his eyes narrowed and stormy, the silence that stretched over us deafening, I could see Axel uncomfortably shift in his seat sinking a little bit, his shoulders slumped and his eyes slowly narrowing trying to escape to whatever dumb place inside him that made the since not seem as terrifying. I looked back up at Xemnas his eyes still narrowed, his lips a tight hard line, god couldn't this prick ever fucken smile? I shifted and looked away from him, it was quiet enough I could hear the blood pounding in my ears and the sound of mutted combat out in the training grounds. Finaly Xemnas shifted straighten up and opening his lips to speak. "Do you two have anyting to say for yourselves?" He said quietly Axel opened his eyes and glared at me before turning his head back to Xemnas his fiery hair shifiting a bit "Well, this fuck ass decided to go out and eat my lunch then proceaed to attack me with the doughnuts." Axel's voice was rough with anger. Xemnas turned back to me raiseing his eyebrows in disbelif. I looked down at my feet. God, am I stupid, no wonder no one likes me I just fuck everything up. "Well, Demryx is this true?" I simply nodded unable to speak past the lump in my throat. Xemnas nodded at me "I see" he turned back to Axel. "And you decided to attack back? You couldn't just walk away and come to me? You are just as much at fault, now don't you think?" Axel stiffened and opened his mouth but, thought about it and closed his mouth with a click and glared at me out of the corner of his eyes and mouthed "You are so dead" Xenmas got up and paced around behind us. "So, now. I think it is only fair that the two of you clean up the break room Yes? Yes. And since you two can't seem to be getting along. You are now shareing a room, doing missions together, everything. Until further notice. Now get out of my sight." He turned his back to us and walked back to his window and stared out of it silently bidding us goodbye. Axel turned on me his eyes flameing, he got up and stalked out his fists clenched tight. I got up to my feet and quickly walked out fearfully. I started to walk past him and he grabbed my cloak and yanked me back clenching his fists in the front of my cloak his face inches from mine. he hissed out quietly and quickly so no one would over hear his threats "You stupid fucken little prick. I will make your life hell, do you understand? Every wakeing moment of your life will be hell. Got it memorized?" I mewed softly and nodded quickly grinning up at him "Y-yes sir." He grinned wickedly at me and shoved me a bit "Get walking" I nodded and started quickly walking to the break room the white powder still on my cloak and a new fear greater than the one of Xenmas filled me with a bitter taste. Axel was far more terrorfying than Xenmas by far. I hurried along to the breakroom every now and then looking over my shoulder to see if Axel as still following me, he was. Little whispers and snickers could be heard comeing from the other people as we were still white as freshly driven snow, or as a fucken virgins pure untouched body, I walked into the breakroom nearly tripping over osme stupid thing, I turned around and watched Axel walk in and watched him shut the door. I grabbed a mop and broom and started to clean I knew he was watching me, so I turned around and threw the broom at him " Why aren't you fucken helping?" I all but yelled at him The broom lands at his feet and he picks it up and starts to sweep glaring at me from under his stupid bangs. We swept for a little bit in silence until I accidental hit his thigh his with my broom. "you stupid shit!" He turned around and glared at me "We wouldn't be in this mess if you didn't like have some fucked up romantic love for doughnuts" I yelled at him throwing down the broom and balling my fists. He fucken punched me in the shoulder as he hissed out "And I wouldn't have to deal with you if you didn't FUCKEN EAT MY LUNCH" Where he punched me started to throb. "Ow! What the fuck Axel!?" I Shoved him back a bit and glared up at him putting all of my hate of him into one look " Why do you hate me so much Axel! What did I ever fucken do to you !" I whispered out dragging the back of my hand over my eyes ridding them of tears I didn't even know were there. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the wall tilting my head back so he could see my face,he leaned in closely and spoke softly " Do you really wanna know why i dislike you Demryx? Do you even know WHAT you do to me?" I stared into his green orbs and shook my head quickly feeling slighty naked under his gaze, like his eyes could stare into my soul and know all of my secrets. He grinned at me and his hands slip down off of my chest to rest on my chest like what the fuck. He glanced down at my chest for a momnet before he looked back up, grinned and spoke. "Because, Dem, you are so oblivious to everything that happens when you are around me. Fucken blind" He grabbed my hair with one hand and FUCKED IT UP!| "WHAT THE FUCK AXEL!??" I glared at him and hit him softly in the chest. he only chuckled at me and swiftly leaned in and kissed me. my jaw dropped as he walked off to finish cleaning chuckling darkly, leaving me in my stunned silence. What the fuck. My mind was reeling . What. The. Fuck. Axel fucken kissed me. OH MY GOD. I started cleaning silently, unable to believe what just happened. What the fuck No homo dude. My god....Axel. FUCKEN. KISSED. ME! I dragged my hand across my lips and glared at his back, what the fuck is his deal? I am SO going to bring this up with his pretty boy ass later. I picked my broom back up and started sweeping up broken glass, my mind still in shambles I knew I was blushing, I just refused to acknowledge that fact. I could hear him humming in his dumb ass voice, god Axel is probably Bi-polar he needs meds or some shit. I could feel his eyes on my back as I swept; but I didn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me turn around, I just kept cleaning silently for awhile trying to work out what was on my mind. Him. As I finished cleaning I knew he was leaning against the wall like the stupid fuck he is because he already finished, I hope he wasn't fucken getting off on watching me cleaning.

#badfanfic #kingdom hearts #godhasleft

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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our broken white rose (7/?) ⇾ camren

a/n: honestly, i’m just gonna skip ahead a few days after the incident with lola. shes arrested now, so is janelle. lucy, lola and janelle have their court hearing coming up. we’re skipping past all that detail. i just wanna get to the good stuff because if i add detail, it’s gonna take about three more chapters for a camren moment and i cant wait anymore. my brain won’t let me.

so enjoy this chapter. please answer end of the chapter questions and leave me some feedback in the comment section. im a slut for comments (:

She felt both her eyebrows crease together as she struggled to pry her eyelids open. Her lips felt glued together but surprised herself when she was able to let out a small groan of pain. After moments of concentration and extreme effort, she felt as her eyes slowly opened for the first time in nearly a month. Her lips parting slightly, she glanced around her surroundings to the best of her ability. Her body felt too stiff to move. Her back hurt. Her throat felt as if it were on fire. She wanted to cry out for help, but her body wouldn’t let her. Her mouth barely allowed itself to open.

She had no idea where she was. Everything felt foreign to her. She gazed around the dimly lit, large white room that reeked of bleach and cheap air freshener. Nobody was around. Looking down at her own body, her eyes widened at all the bruises that scattered across her exposed arms. Several IV’s were connected to her as an oxygen mask covered most of her face. Her eyes watered as she struggled to remember what could have possibly landed her here.

Sudden fear struck within her as she frantically darted her eyes back and forth, across, and all around the room looking for Lola. She probably locked her up in another part of the house she didn’t know of. Her throat felt as if it was closing up. Why would Lola connect her to IV’s and an oxygen mask? Her eyes darted down to her stomach, tears threatening to spill over when she realized the blankets were hiding her baby bump. (She doesn’t know it’s still there. She thinks it’s gone).

She knew Lola was cruel but never expected her to be that cruel. Is that why her stomach was hurting so bad? Had Lola… oh God. Her heart stopped in her chest. She wanted to speak, but she couldn’t. It was almost as if her vocal cords were tied into several knots, preventing her from speaking a word.

When the door to the room creaked open, her terrified brown eyes darted in the direction of the sound. She prepared herself to come face to face with the cold menacing eyes of her abusive fiancée but those weren’t the ones she was staring at. No. These… these eyes are the one’s she never thought she’d see ever again in her life. These eyes were red and puffy. These eyes contained sadness and grief… until they locked with her own.

The woman brought a hand up to her mouth, tears welling in her brown eyes. “Mila?” She had stopped in her tracks, staring at the form in the hospital bed. Staring into the brown eyes of the person she hasn’t seen in years struck a nerve in the tall blonde. She quickly made her way to the hospital bed, staring at Camila as if she were some type of foreign creature.

Camila stared at Dinah wide eyed and confused. She swore Lola had her drugged up. Her own eyes filled with hot tears as she struggled to smile up at the woman who hasn’t changed one bit.

“Oh my god,” Dinah found herself breathing out, running a shaky hand through her messy blonde curls. “I-I need to get a doctor. Stay here,” Dinah turned to walk out before stopping and shaking her head at herself. “Like she can move anyways,” she muttered.

Camila stared at the retreating figure in awe. She couldn’t believe it. The word doctor repeated itself over and over again in her head. I’m at the hospital? She thought to herself. It started to make more and more sense as she glanced around the room once again.

She sat laid quietly in the hospital bed, gazing at the ceiling. She was waiting to be brought out of her dream and to be attacked and beaten by Lola. Her brain felt like someone lit a dog machine in there and left it on for weeks. She struggled to remember what could have landed her in this position, but came up short.

Moments later, Dinah walked back inside with a woman in a white lab coat. She smiled brightly down at Camila as Dinah was ushered out of the room. “Don’t worry. I just have to run a quick physical exam,” the woman in the white doctors coat explained. Dinah glanced hesitatingly at Camila before allowing herself to be put out of the room.

Camila stared at the stranger in confusion. “Hello Camila, I’m Doctor Papeleo, (pronounced: pap-e-lee-o) and you’re at Yakutat General,” the woman spoke slowly and nodded as each word came out of her mouth. Camila tried to speak, but all that came out was a small squeak. “Oh honey, don’t try to strain your voice just yet. The nurse will bring you some water, you’ve been out for quite some time,” Doctor Papeleo removed her stethoscope from around her neck, putting the parts for her ears inside of her own. “I’m just going to listen to your heartbeat. Blink twice if you understand what I’m saying,” Camila stared at her for a moment longer before blinking twice slowly. Doctor Papeleo smiled down at her, “Good. Alright. I’m going to need you to take two big deep breaths for me, alright?”

She placed the stethoscope in the center of her chest and Camila did as told. She moved it around, asking for two more deep breaths. She then started to move down the blankets that basically swallowed Camila’s entire body, revealing her protruding stomach. Immediate relief washed over her as the woman brought her stethoscope down to her enlarged belly, moving around the instrument before standing and placing it back around her neck. “You and your little guy seem to be doing quite well. I’m going to go get that water for you and then we’re going to ask you some questions to make sure we’re all caught up then… you can see your family and friends. They haven’t left your side since,” before she could process what the woman had said, she was out the door and on her way to retrieve her water.

Camila stared up at the ceiling, fresh tears coming to her eyes once again. She didn’t have any family. Was Lola gonna come? Was Tori here? She still felt like her mind was playing tricks on her when she saw Dinah. It couldn’t be. How would Dinah even know where she was? When Doctor Papeleo came back in with a nurse trailing behind her, she had concluded that Dinah was simply a figment of her imagination and was most likely a nurse who was overly excited to see her awake.

“Karla, its good to see that you’re up,” at the mention of her first name, she knew that the Dinah she saw wasn’t real. Lola probably brought her here after beating her too bad. She felt that stinging sensation in her chest when she came to the realization that her real friends and family probably still had no idea of her whereabouts.

The nurse walked up to her, handing her a cold cup of water. “Drink up.”

Camila struggled to lift her arm to retrieve the cup from the woman, the limb feeling like it weight more than she did. When her fingers finally grasped the foam cup, she nearly spilled the water all of herself. She felt so weak. The nurse having fast reflexes, quickly reached out to stabilize the cup and Camila’s hand. She helped her sit up and take gentle sips of the cool liquid. At the feeling, Camila felt a sigh of content fall from her chapped lips.

Her throat burned less and she found it easier to open and close her mouth. Doctor Papeleo came over to the side of Camila’s bed with a clipboard in hand. “Alright Karla, I have a few questions for you. Answer them to the best of your abilities, okay?” Camila found herself nodding slowly. “What is your full name?”

She swallowed thickly, “K-Karla Estrabao.”

Doctor Papeleo smiled gently down at Camila. “Your real full name… Camila.”

She felt her eyes widen slightly, her heart thumping frantically on her chest. “T-That is my real full name.”

Placing her clipboard down, Doctor Papeleo sighed. “You don’t have to worry about Lola, Camila. She’s gonna. Now, I need your real full name so your family and friends can come in before they knock down that door.”

Camila opened and closed her mouth like a fish that just got thrown out of the water. She glanced at her hospital room door, her jaw nearly hitting the ground when she saw her mothers short frame desperately trying to peak through the small opening in the hospital room window. She blinked several times, convinced her eyes were fucking with her again.

Glancing back at the doctor, her shocked brown eyes gazed deeply at her. “No more Lola?” She asked quietly.

Doctor Papeleo placed a comforting hand over Camila’s. “No more Lola,” she assured.

She felt a mixture of emotions soar through her as she answered the woman’s previous question. “Karla C-Camila Cabello-Jauregui Estrabao.”

A small smile danced on the doctors lips as she asked her next question. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-six years old.”

“What is your date of birth?”

“March 3rd, 1997.”

“What year are we in?”

“2023.”

“Lastly Camila, do you have any children? If so, what are their full names.”

“Two daughters, Lana Paisley Jauregui and Luna Michelle Jauregui.”

Doctor Papeleo tucked her clipboard under her arm, nodding as she placed her pen in her coat pocket. “I’m sure your wife will be thrilled to know that you haven’t suffered from memory loss.”

Her heart should have exploded from how fast it was currently beating. “W-Wife?”

Doctor Papeleo winked at Camila before heading for the room door exit. “Yes, Mrs. Jauregui.”

***

“She’s awake! I-I walked in for my time with her and her eyes were open. S-She was staring at me. I called the doctor, she kicked me out,” Dinah practically sprinted into the waiting room from the direction of Camila’s hospital room, alerting us all.

The minute “she’s awake” fell from her lips, we were all on our feet. Sinu, Sofi and Alejandro were the first to race towards Camila’s hospital room, the rest of us hot on their tail. My palms grew sweaty as anxiety courses throughout me.

She’s awake. She’s awake. She’s awake. I repeated to myself over and over again as I fought the growing dizziness on my way over to Camila’s hospital room.

I stood off towards the back as everyone fought like wild animals to see into her hospital room, every now and then bombarding Dinah with questions as to how she looked and if she talked.

“They’re taking too long. Somethings wrong,” Sofi mumbled as she moved to stand beside me.

“It’s been less than five minutes Sof…”

She ran a frustrated hand through her hair. “I know but, it shouldn’t take this long. Right? Why can’t we be in there while she gets questioned? What if she forgot who we are? What if there’s something wrong with her that they can’t tell us?”

I swallowed harshly as I started to allow Sofi’s questions to get to me. My heart ached in my chest at the possibility of Camila forgetting who I was. I don’t think I’d be able to handle that type of heartbreak. All of the hard work we all put into finding her and staying by her side at the hospital would practically go to waste. We’ll be strangers to her.

I chewed on my bottom lip, blocking everyone’s frantic voices out as I stared long and hard at the hospital room door. What felt like days later, the door swung open. Camila’s Doctor walked out with a small smile on her face. She closed the door behind her. I couldn’t tell if the smile was one of sorrow or of joy.

“Well…” she started, her tone down. “Camila seems to remember who she is and where she is. Her vitals seem to be in check and the baby sounds healthy. We’ll send an ultrasound technician in soon to have a better look but from what I can see… Camila is very healthy and is doing quite fine. Just a little bit of shock is all,” a wide smile soon spread over the doctors face as she celebrated briefly with us before everyone barged in like a herd of elephants.

Tori, Dinah, Ally and Normani practically tripping over Sinu, Ale and Sofi as they rushed inside, my mom, dad and siblings following soon after. I trailed behind them all as slow as I possibly could, not believing this moment was actually here.

When everyone walked in the room, they all stayed silent. My heartbeat quickened at the sudden silence, hurrying into the room to see what they were all seeing. My heart skipped several beats as the brown eyes of the love of my life stared at all of us with complete and utter shock. It wasn’t long before her eyes filled with tears that fell almost immediately.

“My baby,” Sinu whispered as she slowly walked up to Camila’s hospital bed with open arms. The woman threw her arms around her daughter, Camila’s quickly coming up to wrap around her. Their bodies shook with sobs as they embraced each other for the first time in years.

I was overwhelmed with emotion. I felt like I couldn’t breathe in this room. The walls were closing in on me. Quickly turning on my heel, I made my way out, ignoring everyone’s calls for my attention. I needed to get out of there. It was all too real for me. I just wanted to take my daughters and go back to California. This was all a mistake.

***

Tori’s eyes darted after Lauren’s retreating from the second Mike’s booming voice called for his daughter to return immediately. Sinu pulled away from Camila, everyone attention on Lauren as she sped out of the room.

Everyone was silent. No one knowing what to do in that moment. A few seconds passed before Camila’s broken voice spoke. “D-Does she hate me?” She asked shakily.

Clara turned to her daughter-in-law, shaking her head. “No sweetheart. She’s just… she’s just a little overwhelmed. She’s having trouble processing it all,” Clara paused. “I’ll go talk to her.”

Tori shook her head, already making her way towards the door. “I got it.”

She didn’t know why she was allowing herself to be alone with Lauren after the recent events and her coming to terms with her feelings, but she told herself it was for her best friend as she searched in every direction for any signs of Lauren. She pulled over a nurse asking, “Have you seen a woman with green eyes, medium-ish dark hair?”

“Biker jacket?” The nurse asked. Tori nodded quickly. “Yeah, she just ran into a custodian on her way out of the Emergency Exit doors that way,” she pointed down the hall. “Seemed like she was in a hurry.”

Thanking the woman, Tori quickly made her way towards that direction. Pushing the Emergency Exit door open, she looked around for Lauren. When she saw her walking towards the rental car and a few of the fans who were still camping outside of the hospital, she called out to her. “Lauren!”

The dark haired woman turned to look behind her before picking up her pace. “Is this bitch really about to make me run after her ass,” Tori hissed under her breath as she picked up her own pace, setting into a jog. She soon found herself sprinting across the hospital parking lot, nearly getting hit by an ambulance. Lauren was about to enter the car and be on her way when Tori threw herself into the small opening of the closing door. She winced when she felt the door close on her knee. “Fuck! Watch it Lauren.”

“Move,” Lauren spoke calmly as her eyes avoided Tori’s. She stared straight ahead, waiting for the curly headed blonde to move her body.

“No. You can’t just walk out like that Lauren. You should have seen her fa–”

Lauren cut her off as she yelled, alerting some people as they stared in her direction. “Move Tori!”

“No. You’re going to get the fuck up and stop being a coward. She needs you.”

“No she doesn’t. She’s done just fine without me.”

Tori felt as her blonde locks shook, her face forming an expression of disbelief. “Just fine? She almost died you stubborn fuck. She’s been in a coma for weeks. You’ve made this hospital into your new home, leaving your daughters with my mom almost every fucking day and making them think their mother was trying g to get rid of them. All of us have dealt with your fucking mood swings, your random moments of lashing out and your depressed moments where you’d beg one of us to come to your room to help you sleep because all you can think about is Camila forgetting you. The doctor tells you she has full recollection of her surroundings and everything else. Guess what you do? Run. You’re acting like a coward. We’ve all gone through hell and back and I’d be damned if I let you walk away from this moment just because you’re scared.”

Tori watched as Lauren’s jaw clenched and unclenched throughout her whole speech, her green eyes filling with tears. “She doesn’t need me.”

“Yes she does Lauren. She needs you more than anyone else in the world. She’s gone years without you. When you stormed out like that, the first thing she asked was if you hated her. She was so broken. She’s gone through enough. Just let her know that you’re there for her. She deserves it.”

Lauren blinked her tears away, pushing Tori’s body off of her own as she stepped out of the vehicle. She closed the door behind her before taking a deep breath. “Will you stay with me?” She asked.

Tori’s heart felt like it was going to explode in her chest as she took several shallow breaths. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You guys should talk things out… alone.”

Lauren’s face fell but she nodded. “Thank you.”

***

My mouth grew dry as we neared Camila’s hospital room. I felt as if the air was being sucked out of my lungs. When I stepped into the room for the second time that day, everyone stopped and looked at me.

“Why don’t we give these two some time alone, yeah?” Tori suggested, staring everyone down with a look that said leave now.

Sinu placed a kiss on Camila’s head before standing and leading everyone out. My mom squeezed my hand on the way out, giving me a reassuring smile. When everyone cleared the room and it was just Camila and I, I felt the anxiety creep back up. I felt overwhelmed all over again. Everything in me was terrified to move let alone speak.

I could feel Camila’s brown eyes boring into my souls as I stared down at the floor. “Hi…” My heart melted at the sound of her voice. Its been so, so long.

Finally glancing up at her, I felt myself go back in time. Back to the point Lola had first hurt her all those years ago. I gulped, feeling as though not enough air was entering my lungs.

“Hey,” I found myself saying after a moment of silence. I walked further into the room, taking slow and hesitant steps. Camila stared at me as if I wasn’t real, much like how I was staring at her.

She shook her head, staring down at her hands before look back up at me. “I can’t believe any of this is actually happening,” she said softly.

I chuckled, nodding in understanding. “Tell me about it.”

She opened her mouth to speak before closing it. She did that again twice. I raised an eyebrow but decided against not forcing her to speak. I soon found myself sitting in a chair beside her hospital bed, our eyes taking each other in for the first time in years. “I-… I um, I’m waiting for someone to tell me that this is all a dream and that I need to wake up.”

I nodded, letting out a shaky sigh. “Me too honestly.”

“I missed you,” she suddenly blurred out, her eyes widening for a moment before a light shade of pink took over her cheeks. The only sign of color on her pale skin. “A lot…”

“I missed you too Camila,” I answered honestly. I felt my throat tightening as tears welled in my eyes. “So much.”

Camila’s lips turned down into a frown as her bottom lip quivered. “W-Why’d it take you so long… to find me.”

My heart broke. It was now my turn to look like a fish fresh out of the water as I struggled to answer her question. “I thought you died,” I whispered. “We all did.”

The first tear that I’ve seen fell from her beautiful brown eyes as she refused to make eye contact with me. “O-Oh.”

I stood from my spot on the chair and went to sit on her hospital bed, careful not to sit on any part of her body. “I’m so sorry,” I said quietly, trying to hold back the tears that were dying to be released.

My body stiffened when her arms wrapped around my waist. My heartbeat sped up as it all hit me at once. This… this was real. She was real. She was here. In front of me. She was alive and well. My arms were soon around her as well, the tears finally falling from my eyes.

I’m not sure how long we stayed like that, her head resting in the crook of my neck as she wet it with her tears. “Please don’t l-leave me here,” she spoke shakily.

“Never,” I promised.

Camila was the first to pull away, her eyes staring at every inch of my face. When they darted down to my lips and stayed there, I pulled back all the way. I wasn’t ready for any of that. Not now.

I flashed her a small smile, trying to ease up the tension. I relaxed a little when she didn’t seem to notice my resistance. We sat silently for awhile before she asked the question I was internally dreading. “Where are Lana and Luna?” She asked.

I sighed. “With Tori’s mom,” I answered.

She frowned. “They didn’t come?”

“No. They haven’t really been here,” i said truthfully.

Camila nodded slowly, “Oh,” she chewed on her bottom lip, the old habit seemingly still around. “When can I see them? I bet they’re so big now,” a small smile graced her gorgeous face.

I sighed. I really didn’t want to talk about this but there was no way to go around it without her catching on. I wasn’t going to start this reunion by lying. “Camila… they don’t know that we’re here for you. They don’t know you.”

Her smile dropped, the happiness that once graced her features gone. No trace of it to be found. “They don’t know that I’m their mother?”

I shook my head. “No, of course they do Camila. I wouldn’t raise them by letting them think you didn’t exist. They’re just… Lana just turned five and Luna’s gonna be seven soon. They’ve gone so long without you. You’re a stranger to them, despite what they might know.”

Her lips pursed together as she shook her head. “I want to see them. I don’t care about any of that Lauren. I want to see my kids!” Her voice was raising as she started to get angry.

I stood up, pacing around the hospital room. Luna and Lana weren’t ready. “They don’t know you!” I yelled.

Camila glared at me. There goes a happy reunion. “Then let them get to know me. I’ve missed so many years and so many birthdays. You aren’t going to take any more of those from me. Those girls are my kids just as much as they are yo–”

“Except they know I’m their mother and not someone who supposedly died!” I found myself growing frustrated. “You don’t get it Camila. You’ve been gone for so many years. They won’t understan–”

She cut me off. “Them, or you?” I stopped in my tracks, staring at her in slight shock. “Are they really the ones who’ll have a hard time adjusting or is it you Lauren? I’m here. I just want to pick up from where my life ended. They’re going to have a little brother. You can’t take anymore years away from me. Please.”

I clenched my jaw, staring down at the white hospital floor tiles. “How do I even explain this to them?”

“You don’t have to do it on your own anymore Lauren. I’m here. I want to be here. I want to have a relationship with my girls.”

“But–”

“Please.”

***

a/n: welp! this was low key intense. lmao. thanks guys for reading. ive been waiting to publish this for so long, you don’t even fucking know.

to my tumblr readers, thanks for reading as well. visit my wattpad @ wthbello for faster updates, direct contact towards myself and more. add this story in your library/reading list and follow me.

this book is coming to an end, probably three or four chapters left. book three will be coming out right after it called reasons to go. the angst continues (;

anyways, thanks again for reading you all. answer end of the chapter questions and have a good day/night/afternoon/evening/whoever yall are.

how’d you feel about camila waking up?

what do you think is to come of tori and lauren?

will lauren let camila have a relationship with luna and lana?

how do you think luna and lana will process the fact that their ‘dead’ mom is suddenly alive again?

do you think camila and lauren will rekindle what they lost?

will they just have to be co-parents and move on with their love lives?

what do you expect to see next?

what about lola, lucy and janelle’s upcoming trial date?

do you think a camren kiss will ever come?

camren or toren end game?

anyways, that’s all. i didnt edit or proof read, sorry. super tired ): i’ll go back and fix any errors in due time. just work with meee.

dont forget to comment, vote and share this story. ok, bye.

ellianna, xxxxxxxx

#UPDATE #series #non AU #AU #slash #camren #angst drama #family #humour #romance fluff #submission #our broken white rose

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love-transparentstudentarca-blog · 6 years

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