#im happy with how these are turning out ^__^

[pidgeoryx]

take it easy!

[bunnieswithknives]

Oh I have to ask. In your Things That Crawl AU, what does Lyle think. I could see him having similar reactions to Hellen's. We know that even if it wasn't healthy, Lyle was the one who knew Sam the most, longer then anyone else, his constant stalking means he knew what Sam was like and they may have even actually worked together. I personally just can't see Lyle accepting this "New" Sam but I could be totally wrong, I'd love to here about Lyle in your au.

Oh yeah Lyle absolutely does not accept the new Sam

My first thought was that Lyle does what he always does when the going gets tough, and that's try to steal Sam's soul. I don't really like that idea though... cause either it works as both a cop-out and definitive answer to Sam's state of mind, or it doesn't and that's still an answer of some kind, which I don't want.

The alternative is really dependent on the extent of the powers I wanna give Visitor!Sam(? Idk if this is what I wanna call it but we're going with it for now) and how fucked up I want that to go.

POV: The benevolent god has an audio processing disorder and no idea what a human looks like

[purebarnes]

WHAT SIDE IS RIGHT?

SYNOPIS. an argument between bucky and reader ends them breaking up

TAGS. Angst. Small fluff.

PAIRINGS. Thunderbolt! Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader

NOTE. My babies. Marvel is getting my therapy bill atp anywayss please send requests ya guys have/want!!! i love hearing what you guys would like to read and also if you want to be be on a tag list lmk cause im up to create one

You weren’t exactly sure what had happened to you in the last year, to be exact the last 14 months when everything went so wrong. After the whole catastrophe with Thanos and losing many people in the process, you sort of didn’t have an idea on how to cope with that loss. You didn’t have anyone after Tony died.

He was like a brother you never had. But then you had Sam and Bucky, you thought that was enough. You didn’t need anyone else. Things were running smoothly, stable. It was you three.

Sam was your best friend.

Bucky was everything.

You deeply cared about both men so much, you all had lost people and gone through hell in your lives. But in this line of work, you understand what it meant to be a protector and people needed you.

So you had to make a choice. Even though it hurt you to even consider to get between them, you knew what it had to be.

Sam was the right choice. Right?

Sam had told that Ross had wanted him to re build the avengers. Past you would had many flaws and comments about that but it was Sam that would lead them. You knew he would be great. He obviously asked if you’d join his team and you of course obliged.

Then as he told Bucky, you only came to realize that he would be joining a new team called the “New Avengers.” Oh how that stinged.

Sam was distraught and betrayed by his best friend. Ross showed you the media report as he told you two that extreme measures needed to be taken. You groaned internally at this ‘War’ that it would create between each side.

So there you were, on the hard floor laying down. Just gazing up on the ceiling, biting your bottom lip slightly but enough to feel a little blood from your nerves that were pumping.

You felt the steps of a certain someone. He took a seat down on the floor and laid the same way, turning his head to see your face.

“This is about to turn to shit. You know that?”

Sam nodded, his face not changing.

He let out a loud sigh, his brows slightly raised. He understands what was about to happen but he couldn’t help but feel so hurt by Bucky.

“Well, i got you. Don’t I?”

Your mouth slightly raising, “Yeah, always.”

Sam leaned in and gave your cheek a quick kiss, watching him leave to go do business with Joaquin.

Bucky was a mess.

You left him. You couldn’t do it anymore, he made his choice pretty clear and so you needed to do the same. If you chose Sam then that meant you couldn’t be with Bucky anymore.

You were a nervous wreck that night..

You stood in the elevator, waiting for it to ding to show you were there but you were honestly happy that it was taking forever because you didn’t know if you were going to be able to go through with it.

Your heart was pumping, your left hand feeling a little numb. But that was just your nerves and they were shit.

You had a little liquid courage. Maybe that would help. Probably not.

The elevator doors opened and dinged and you saw that it was empty, you took a step forward. Bucky who was standing in front of the island, making a drink for himself as it looked since he was alone.

Sliding the alcohol, he drank it.

His eyes met yours as he licked his lips. He sort of relief seeing you, “Hey, doll.” He whispered gently looking at your emotional presence, your smile faded, eye lids heavy and just looking so exhausted.

“What’s wrong?” Reaching over to grab your hand but you refused him to hold you. You backed up, “Don’t.” You muttered, looking down to refuse to meet his gaze.

Bucky’s brows creasing, a slight frown appearing. Confused, “What?”

“I can’t do this. We need to break up.”

Your lip already quivered, you felt the tears already forming but stay on the bottom of your eyes clearly refusing to fall.

“No. What are you saying? Did Sam put you up-”

“No! You jerk. This is all me, I can’t be with you if you are going to do this. You hurt him.” The tears already streaming, making your vision blurry.

Bucky shook his head. “Please. Don’t do this.”

“You made your choice. You choose others over us. Your family?”

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

You wiped the tears with your palm, “I hope they are worth it. Goodbye Buck.”

With that, Bucky grabbed you with all force and smashed his lips onto yours. Pure desperation, he couldn’t let you leave over something like this. The kiss full of lust. For a second, you cave in and started to kiss back with the same desire but you couldn’t do it. You shoved him back,

“No.. no. Stop.”

The second your lips parted, you let out a breathy sigh, earning for him back but you came here to do something.

“Tell me what to do..” He begged you, his eyes glistening with some sense of hope.

Your lips parted, waiting to say something. “If I said to leave, would you?”

“I can’t leave them. Bob needs us..”

You frowned at the older man, “We needed you. You said we were your family, we were there for you.” A permanent absence memory clearly.

“It’s different-”

“Bullshit. Everything I’ve done was for you, I nearly lost Tony just for you.” You seethed, a sob threatening to escape.

“Then I lost him and I had no one. Then I got you both and now I’m losing you again.”

Deep down Bucky knew the right answer. If it was for you then he’d do anything for you, you knew that but everything changed when he went back to New York.

“Please..” He voice faltering,

“Goodbye, Buck.”

You spoke finally and he just stood in place, not knowing what to say to you to help you or himself. There was no fixing what had broken, it was more then just Sam.

You started to walk the other direction as you met the eyes of 5 other people. Sensing they were the new team, your gaze turned into a unrecognizable stare.

You shook your head, that betrayal was worse then anything.

A final farewell, “One last thing. When it comes down and it will. This is a fight you won’t win and I don’t care who I hurt.”

The blonde and Brunette stepped forward, “Don’t worry. We got each other." Giving you a hard glare.

You chuckled incredulously, “How sweet.”

“You don’t have to do this.” John Walker spoke to you, a sort of understanding that he knew.

“See ya. Whenever that is..” you spoke before stopping and seeing one person, “And who are you?”

He looked up, nervously pointing. “Uh, me? I’m Bob.”

“Bob. Huh, see ya Bob.”

lifting up, you soon vanished away.

All eyes now turned to Bucky who had gulped down another glass of his choice of liquor.

Bucky, Yelena, John and Ava all walked out back in the new Avengers tower, “But we are the Avengers. The government said so.” Yelena spoke out.

“How does Sam Wilson not understand that?”

“Well, he does have the shield.” Bucky replied.

“I have a shield also.” John stated.

“It’s not a shield.” He retorted.

“It is a shield- It’s a shitty shield.”

“Great shield, Bucky.” John added before rolling his eyes.

Yelena groaned, “Okay. If he,” pausing before saying your name slowly, “put together a team then they call themselves the Avengers. Then who are the real avengers?”

Ava shook her head as Bucky eyed her since he still was dealing with losing you. It had been so difficult without you.

“Well, that’s the question the internet has been asking. And judging by the nasty memes I’ve read.. they don’t think it’s us.” John sighed sadly.

Yelena turned back to Bucky, “Weren’t you going to talk to him?”

“I already did.” He blankly spoke.

“And?”

“It went poorly.”

“And did you try to talk to her?” She gently asked.

“Yeah, she wants nothing to do with me. Nothing I can do.” Bucky blinked. Averting his eyes towards the floor.

“Great going.” Ava replied, “If you two didn’t have to say anything then she’d probably-”

“She thinks I chose you guys over her and I kind of did.”

“Do you regret being on our team?” John added hesitantly.

“No. I just miss her, like alot.”

Getting many sympathetic looks his way as he looked away, John nodded quickly.

“Look. I can help you find someone- I don’t want anyone.” He seethed shoving him harshly.

“Your track record is pretty awful.” Ava spoke truthfully.

“Shut up. I hate you all.”

Right in came Alexei, wearing an atrocious outfit like he was a nascar driver or something. “Hello, team.” Grinning at them.

Bucky groaned at his outfit, “What the hell are you wearing?”

“I heard about Wilson and your not girl anymore. They are dumb.”

“But, me, I’m smart, I’m smart man. I have smart solve.”

Yelena opened her mouth in disbelief.

“A-V-ENGER-Z! Avengers with a Z! There is no copyright.” Looking to see the approval from the team but no one liked it at all.

“Look- Feel. Like a baby seal.”

Bucky got up abruptly, Yelena looked up.

“Where are you going?”

“To go fix this.”

Bucky had not gotten far clearly as he saw you in the hall. Face clearly upset from possible tears you had fallen,

“Bucky..”

“Doll..”

You ran directly towards him as he opened his arms openly, you wrapped your arms around his neck . You both stayed there until you were forced to move. You couldn’t do it anymore, you were so alone and he was your light.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled in his neck.

“No, I’m sorry. I love you and I’m sorry for making you feel the opposite.”

You sighed, “I don’t want you guys to fight. I love you both.”

He nodded, “I know, baby. I know.”

You leaned back, “Can you please just try to talk to him? He agreed to hear you.”

“Yes.”

You smiled, in response you leaned in immediately peppering him with kisses, on his nose, many on his cheek, jaw, forehead.

“Thank.” Kiss “You.” Kiss. “I.” Kiss. “Love.” Kiss. “You.”

Bucky chuckled at the many kisses and gave you a long and passionate kiss. We’ll make out session as she brought you in a supply closet that night.

-

“Huh. You think they made up?” John asked.

There you were laying on top of Bucky, his breathing easing you up each time. Snuggled up together, Bucky having his arm wrapped around your back as you sighed happily in your sleep.

“No shit.”

“Aw, they are adorable.”

“Shut up. You are gonna wake them.”

“Just one picture-”

“No- my bad.”

You woke up to the shutter noise and started to groan at the loss of sleeping and your man’s warmth.

Bucky groaned. “You got 20 seconds.”

“What- wait Bucky. Too late.”

Bucky then had gotten up and chased them as you sat up and saw Bob who was reading his book.

“Hey Bob.”

“Heyy.” Waving at you so innocently. Oh boy.

[bombiikki]

𐙚⋆.˚　────  i don't even like you that much °｡⋆⸜

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ – non idol!minji x fem!reader !!

synopsis: you never would’ve thought to find yourself bonding over some apple cider with someone—and all it took was your dormmate dragging you to a kbbq. now, you’re stuck with kim minji by your side as “just friends”.

contains: small angst, reader has an ex, drinking is mentioned, situationship???, bascially js friends with benefits, reader confesses early on but they dont do nothin abt it, well they do kiss like 3 times after but its ok cuz no homo, except theres a whole lotta homo activity, hanni is reader's dormmate

wc: 9.2k

a/n: ugh this wasnt proofread at all and i was so gonna scrap it but EHHH ITS WHATEVERRR i liek the idea i js dont think i executed it well enough. sighssss (i totally rushed this but i lkw cant be bothered to fix it im so sorry) (ill write another minji fic soon to amke up for whatever this was)

♪ ༘⋆ now playing – apple cider by beabadoobee

you hadn’t really gone out since the breakup.

the breakup wasn’t exactly dramatic either. not in the movie-scene way. there were no screaming matches, no shattered mugs or slamming doors. it was the type of breakup with a quiet ending—one that left everything and nothing at the same time.

you still saw her sometimes—your ex—in the quad or at the coffee stall by the library. you didn’t talk, of course. you just noticed her presence the way you’d notice a bruise on your thigh—dull, lingering. fading, but not gone.

you’d been existing more than living lately. floating between lectures and your dorm bed, skipping anything loud or social or messy. hanni, your dormmate, hadn’t stopped trying. she left you sticky notes and poked her head in every other night with some new plan.

“you need to touch grass,” she said one afternoon, perched upside down on her bed like her blood belonged in her head. “you’re turning pale and tragic.”

“i’m always pale,” you muttered, typing something pointless on your laptop.

“exactly,” she said, flipping upright with purpose. “come out with me tonight. nothing intense. just food. some of the girls from my dance classes. you’ll like them.”

“do i have to talk?”

“only if you want more rice.”

you pretended to grumble, but the truth was, you’d already said yes in your silence. part of you knew hanni was right. hiding didn’t help. sulking didn’t soften anything. so you said okay. put on your jumper—the old faded one with a sun stitched near the sleeve—and followed her out into the night.

the restaurant was tucked into a narrow street just off campus. warm, golden lights spilled out of fogged windows. laughter echoed from inside. the scent of grilled meat and garlic hit you before you stepped through the door.

you tried not to shrink in on yourself as you slid into the booth. hanni’s friends greeted you like you’d always been there. it wasn’t so bad. it was warm and noisy, and no one expected you to be interesting.

and then she walked in.

minji.

someone called her name, and that’s how you knew it. minji. it fit her.

she slid into the space across from you like she’d always belonged there. her hair was half-tied, a few strands falling into her face. lip gloss smudged a little at the corner. she laughed at something someone said, low and honeyed, and when her eyes landed on you—just for a second—it felt like someone knocked the wind out of your lungs.

“you’re hanni’s roommate, right?” she asked halfway through the meal, her voice soft under the noise.

you nodded. “y/n.”

“i like your jumper.”

you blinked. “thanks.”

it was nothing. a throwaway compliment. said in passing. but the way she looked at you when she said it—it stayed. like she meant it. like it wasn’t just about the jumper.

you caught yourself glancing at her through the rest of dinner. she was so… easy. like she belonged in rooms like this. loud ones. happy ones. and she didn’t shrink when people spoke to her—she leaned in. smiled. answered. you used to be like that, you thought. or maybe you just wanted to be.

you ended up walking back with hanni. minji went in a different direction.

“she’s pretty,” you said, trying to sound casual.

hanni glanced over at you with a knowing look. “mhmm.”

“i’m not—”

“i didn’t say anything.” she grinned. “but if you’re gonna start wearing that jumper every day, at least wash it once in a while.”

you rolled your eyes but said nothing.

and yeah. you wore the jumper again the next day. and the day after that.

you saw minji again in a literature lecture, a few rows ahead. she glanced back as you walked in, offering a little wave. your heart stuttered like it didn’t know how to beat properly anymore.

you didn’t know what this was. or if it was even anything. you just knew it felt new. and maybe a little dangerous.

you tucked your sleeves over your hands and looked down at your notebook.

you didn’t look up again for the rest of the lecture.

the thing about invite-only parties was that no one actually cared who invited who. maybe it started exclusive, but somewhere between the third repost on someone’s story and the promise of free drinks, the whole campus decided they were invited too.

the party was everything you’d expected and nothing like you imagined.

it was too loud, and too many people were crammed into the living room, red cups in hand, bodies swaying too close, too eager. music pulsed from the speakers, the bass thumping so hard it rattled your chest. you could feel it in your throat, deep and hollow.

hanni was already halfway through the door when she turned back to you, eyes sparkling. “you ready to make bad decisions?”

you didn’t answer, just followed her inside, your sneakers sticking to the floor with each step.

“hey, y/n!” someone greeted you, someone from your economics class, and you offered a half-smile. you were fine with being there—just not too here. not where everything felt too fast, too sticky with cheap alcohol and messy socialising. you’d rather have been back in your dorm, tucked up with a book, far away from this.

but hanni dragged you deeper into the crowd, and before you knew it, you were holding a cup of something—beer, maybe? you didn’t care enough to check.

and then you saw her.

minji was standing by the kitchen counter, talking to someone, but her eyes met yours across the room. for a second, there was nothing but her gaze—soft, like she was trying to figure you out. you smiled, uncertain, and she returned it, before turning back to the conversation.

it felt like you’d been staring at her forever, but then someone nudged you, and you were suddenly aware of how hot and cramped the space was.

“let’s find somewhere to sit,” hanni said, already heading for the couch.

you followed, but your eyes flicked to the kitchen where minji still stood. the crowd felt so loud now.

you sipped from your cup, unsure if the taste was even pleasant or just something you were doing to blend in. hanni’s voice bubbled up beside you, but your mind was elsewhere, distracted by the way minji was laughing again, easy, like it was just part of who she was.

it was then that you realised—you didn’t want to just blend in. you wanted to be part of something here.

you made yourself move. you weren’t sure if you were making a choice or if it was just what happened when someone like minji looked at you like that.

when you reached the kitchen, minji was there, holding a bottle of something—but it wasn’t the kind of drink you were expecting.

“apple cider,” she said, offering you a bottle like she’d been waiting for you.

you blinked. “apple cider?”

“yeah,” she smiled. “it’s the non-alcoholic thing here. and it’s hella good too.”

you laughed, sudden and real. “i thought i was the only one not trying to burn my throat tonight.”

she leaned against the counter beside you, eyes flicking around the room like she was only half-interested in the chaos.

“i don’t like the taste of alcohol,” she admitted. “makes my tongue feel like sandpaper.”

“you’ve tasted sandpaper?”

“no. but i imagine it feels like regret and tequila.”

you snorted into your drink. “accurate.”

someone bumped into your back, a spill of music and limbs, but minji didn’t flinch. she just shifted a little closer, her shoulder brushing yours. the air between you smelled like fruit punch and cheap perfume and something soft, like home wrapped in a cardigan.

“so,” she said, voice quieter now. “you come to these things often?”

you shook your head. “first one this year.”

“why?”

you looked at your bottle. “dormmate peer pressure.”

she grinned. “same. let me guess—hanni?”

“you too?”

“she dragged me out by the collar.”

you both laughed, and for a moment, the party faded into background noise. there was only this little bubble of fizz and warmth and matching drinks.

“so what do you do when you’re not drinking apple cider at loud parties?” she asked.

you shrugged. “read. avoid drama. overthink texts for hours. you?”

“draw on my notes. people-watch. make unnecessarily long playlists.”

“i do that too.”

“oh? long playlists?”

“no, the unnecessarily part.”

the conversation drifted, and you found yourself talking about little things, about classes, about family. about why you ended up in university, why you stayed in your head so much.

it was easy. like talking to someone who already understood you, without needing to say everything.

as the party stretched deeper into the night, bodies pressing in every direction and the noise swelling once more, minji glanced your way—and for a fleeting moment, it felt like you were the only two in the world.

“this is the best part of the night,” she said, her eyes soft, almost private. “when it’s quiet. when you’re just…”

“here?” you finished for her.

she nodded.

“yeah,” you said, laughing quietly. “just here.”

minji looked at you like she was trying to memorise your laugh. you looked back like you were trying not to notice.

and maybe the party kept going. maybe the music got louder and the room got fuller and the air got heavier. but here, in this tiny corner of too much everything, the world felt quieter.

it was just you. her. and the apple cider fizzing gently between your fingertips.

the party felt like a blur the next morning—apple cider fizz still tingling on your tongue, minji’s laugh tucked somewhere behind your ribs. you hadn’t stayed late. neither had she. but you’d left together, weaving through the spill of people and laughter like two ghosts slipping out of a dream.

and then, hours later, the dream still clung to your shoulders.

the café smelled like toasted bagels and burnt espresso, the kind of scent that clung to your jumper long after you’d left. minji was already there when you arrived, tucked into the corner seat by the window, hands wrapped around a paper cup.

she looked up, smiled like you were someone she’d been hoping would come.

you tugged at your sleeves, tried not to seem like you’d rushed here.

“morning,” you said, voice still rough around the edges.

“you came,” she said, and it wasn’t teasing—it was soft, almost surprised.

“you asked.”

you ordered something sweet, because you didn’t feel like pretending that morning. she watched you, elbow resting on the table, chin in her palm.

“you always wear that jumper,” she said as you sat.

you glanced down. it was the same one from the party. and the kbbq. and every day since the kbbq.

“you said you liked it.”

she blinked, then smiled wider. “i still do.”

“thanks,” you said. “it’s my favourite now.”

her smile turned sly. “wonder why.”

you looked away, hid your face behind your cup.

minji sat across from you, stirring her drink with a wooden stick, eyes half-lidded with sleep.

"did you not sleep well last night?" you asked, voice still scratchy from lack of sleep.

she cracked one eye open. “am i that obvious?”

“you looked like you lost a fight with your pillow.”

minji snorted. “you should’ve seen the pillow.”

the café was quiet, just a few students nursing hangovers and deadlines. the sunlight spilled through the window, catching on the strands of her hair. there was still a bit of sleep in her eyes, but she was there, and she was real, and she was easy to talk to in the way that most people weren’t.

she told you about her morning routine. you told her about the time hanni mistook salt for sugar in her tea and still pretended it tasted fine out of pride.

you both laughed. people around you faded.

you didn’t realise how much time had passed until she checked the time and muttered, “shit, lit’s in ten.”

you groaned. “we’re not running.”

“we are absolutely running.”

and you didn’t run, not really. it was more like a fast walk that dissolved into laughter halfway through campus. minji complained about the weight of her tote bag. you offered to carry it. she declined.

“it’s full of bad poetry,” she said. “you’ll lose brain cells.”

“so, your writing?”

she gasped. “rude! absolutely unforgivable. i liked you.”

you grinned, breathless as you reached the doors of the lecture hall. she held it open for you.

inside, you both slipped into your usual seats—side by side now. she pulled out her notebook. you tried not to look at the messy stars she’d drawn across the front cover.

professor cho started talking about virginia woolf. you started taking notes. she didn’t. halfway through, she nudged your knee with hers, gently, like punctuation.

you didn’t say anything. just smiled to yourself and kept writing.

it started slow, like a ripple that spread without you even noticing. a missed text. an unspoken word. the kind of quiet that wasn’t peaceful, but suffocating.

you didn’t want to feel it, but you couldn’t stop. the weight of everything you’d been trying to push away suddenly slammed into you—sharp, unforgiving.

it was stupid, really. you'd told yourself you were fine, that you'd moved on. but here you were again, alone in your dorm with your thoughts tangled in things you’d rather forget. memories of your ex fluttered like moths in your mind, whispering soft words you used to hold close.

you didn’t want to stay in your head any longer.

“come on,” hanni’s voice broke through the haze of your thoughts. “we’re going out to another party. you need some air.”

she didn’t give you a choice. before you could even protest, she was dragging you out the door.

you’d almost said no. almost told her you’d rather stay curled up in the silence, but you knew you wouldn’t. you’d rather be anywhere than stuck inside with the ache that made your chest feel heavy.

you pulled on your favourite jumper—the one that had started to feel like a shield, something familiar to hide behind—and followed hanni out into the night.

the party was already in full swing when you arrived. loud, chaotic, people spilling out of every corner, as if everyone on campus had come together to erase whatever was eating at them. you could hear laughter, music, the sound of bodies moving through the night.

hanni slipped away into the crowd, already lost to the night. you didn’t try to find her. instead, you wandered toward the drinks table, eyes scanning the bottles, trying to avoid looking at the brightly coloured cider at the edge.

apple cider.

you would’ve gotten yourself a bottle of it by now and avoid everyone drinking their night away. but grief has a way of picking its own night to show up uninvited. and tonight, it showed up in waves, steady and bitter, like a song you didn’t want to hear but couldn’t turn off.

so you chose to drink your night away too. you grabbed something strong. vodka, maybe? gin? it didn’t matter. it was the burn you needed, the fire that would drown out the ache in your chest.

you didn’t know how much you drank or how quickly. only that it helped, for a while. the warmth in your belly spread through you, making everything feel lighter, like you could float above the crowd instead of being crushed by it.

but it wasn’t enough. nothing would be.

the world swayed around you, and you stumbled through the party, searching for something to hold onto.

your mind felt fuzzy, but there was a clarity in the way everything started to blur. maybe you’d been avoiding this feeling for too long. maybe the alcohol was just the excuse to finally let yourself miss her—to finally admit you hadn’t let go.

you stepped outside, needing the cold air to clear your head, but it didn’t help much. the wind bit at your skin, but the ache inside was worse.

you leaned against the railing of the balcony, the city lights twinkling below like distant stars that didn’t care about your pain. the cold seeped into your bones, but it was better than the suffocating warmth inside.

you didn’t realise someone had followed you until you heard the quiet sound of footsteps behind you.

“y/n?”

you turned, startled. it was minji, standing a few feet away, her eyes wide with confusion.

“what are you doing out here?” she asked softly, her voice barely rising over the distant thrum of the party.

you didn’t really know how to answer. the words felt stuck in your throat, but somehow, they came out anyway.

“i’m drunk,” you said, with a humourless laugh. “didn’t realise how much, but here we are.”

“i thought you hated alcohol,” she said quietly.

you gave a short laugh, sharp and flat. “i do.”

“so why are you drinking it like it's water?”

you didn’t answer right away. didn’t want to. but her voice was gentle, and her hand hovered just close enough to yours that it almost felt like safety.

“i miss someone,” you said eventually. “and i thought if i burned enough of my throat, she’d stop showing up in my head.”

minji didn’t say anything. just stood beside you, solid and warm.

“we broke up a while ago. i never talk about her. doesn’t mean i don’t think about her.”

minji didn’t push you further. she just nodded, her gaze soft, like she was seeing something she didn’t want to but couldn’t look away from.

for a long moment, neither of you spoke. you just stood there, the night wrapping around you, the cold air biting at your skin.

you took a deep breath, swallowing down the lump in your throat. you hadn’t meant to say it, hadn’t planned on it, but the words slipped out anyway.

“i miss her so much,” you whispered, barely audible, like the confession itself hurt too much to speak.

minji’s gaze didn’t shift. she didn’t offer some perfect piece of advice. she didn’t tell you to move on or forget. she just stood there, still and quiet, like she was letting you be with your pain for a while.

you leaned a little closer to her, the alcohol still buzzing in your veins, but it wasn’t enough to numb the ache inside.

“your hair smells like fruit punch,” you murmured, your voice soft, almost playful in the midst of everything.

minji blinked, a small smile tugging at her lips. “and you smell like straight up booze,” she replied, her voice a little gentler now, a little warmer.

you laughed, a sound that felt like it had been trapped in your chest for far too long. the tension between you lightened, if only for a moment.

you stayed there for a while, not saying much. minji didn’t rush you. she just let you be, her presence grounding you in a way nothing else could.

“sorry,” you said, but it came out slurred, thick with something too heavy to name.

she stepped closer, arms wrapping around your frame gently, and pulled you into her chest.

“don’t apologise.”

you melted into her without thinking, the world tilting slightly as you clung to her coat like it was the last stable thing left.

“this is pathetic, right?” you muttered into her shoulder. “i don’t even like alcohol. i’m just—”

“you’re hurting,” she said, not unkindly. “people do stupid things when they’re hurting.”

you wanted to believe that. wanted to feel less stupid for chasing a buzz that barely numbed the ache.

finally, she sighed and pushed herself away from the railing. “i should get back inside. hanni’s probably looking for you.”

you nodded, not ready to let go but knowing she had to leave. she hesitated for a moment, then looked at you with a soft smile.

“don’t stay out here too long, yeah?”

you didn’t answer. just watched as she disappeared back into the party, leaving you alone with your thoughts again, the cold air mixing with the still-throbbing ache in your chest.

the party raged on inside, but here, out on the balcony, there was only the quiet, and the faint scent of fruit punch lingering in the air.

you were lying flat on your back, staring at the cracks in the ceiling like they meant something. the room spun around you in slow, deliberate circles, and your head throbbed with a pressure so sharp it made you want to cry. you weren’t sure how you got back to the dorm—just remembered your feet dragging you across campus, one hand pressed to the wall for balance, heart like a stone in your chest.

hanni was asleep now, curled into her bed across the room, soft breathing barely audible above the faint buzz in your ears. the clock glowed dimly from the desk—12:03am—its numbers blinking like they were mocking you.

your mouth was dry. your body felt heavy. and yet your mind was wide awake, buzzing like it’d been hooked to something electric.

you missed minji.

you missed her more than you’d expected to. and it wasn’t just the party or the alcohol or the cold of the balcony—it was something else. something worse. the kind of missing that made your chest ache. the kind of missing that came from a place deeper than you wanted to admit.

earlier, you couldn’t stop thinking about your ex. all you’d wanted was to drown her memory in alcohol and parties and blurred faces. but now, all you could think about was minji. her eyes in the dark. her soft laugh. the way she didn’t try to fix you, just stood beside you like she belonged there.

and you didn’t even like her that much.

wait.

your eyes fluttered shut, jaw slack.

wait, you do. fuck.

you liked her. or something like it. maybe it wasn’t full-blown love or anything dramatic. but it was something. and it was real enough to press itself into your ribs and make a home there, uninvited and warm.

your hand fumbled for your phone on the floor beside your mattress. it slipped from your fingers once, hit the ground with a dull thud, and you stifled a laugh. everything felt too loud. too quiet. too much.

the screen lit up. you scrolled through your contacts, blinking until the letters stopped blurring. minji. right there.

your thumb hovered for a second. then you pressed call.

it rang once. twice. three times. then—click.

“hello?” her voice was soft. groggy. like you had pulled her out of sleep.

you blinked up at the ceiling, lips parting slowly. “minji,” you whispered, the name sweet on your tongue. “hi.”

“y/n?” she sounded surprised. there was a beat of silence. “are you okay?”

“mm,” you hummed, shifting onto your side. “i dunno.”

another pause. she stayed on the line, waiting.

“do you remember the party?” you asked, voice thick and slow. “the balcony?”

“yeah,” she said gently.

“i liked that. with you,” you mumbled. “you make me feel... better. not good. but better.”

you heard her smile through the phone. “you’re drunk.”

“i know,” you admitted, giggling a little. “but i mean it. i think... maybe we should give this thing a try.”

there was silence. long enough that you almost forgot what you’d said. then her soft laugh filtered through the line like a song you half-remembered.

“oh, y/n,” she said, fond and amused. “you’re really drunk, huh?”

you frowned. “no i’m not. i mean yes. but i’m serious.”

she sighed, but it wasn’t annoyed—it was something closer to affectionate. “go to sleep, idiot,” she murmured. “we’ll talk in the morning.”

“okay,” you whispered, eyelids growing heavier.

“goodnight, y/n.”

“night, minji.”

the call ended, and the phone slipped from your hand.

you lay there in the dark, heart loud and messy in your chest, warmth curling behind your ribs. the alcohol dulled everything except this—the echo of her voice, the way she said your name, the way she didn’t hang up until she was sure you’d be alright.

you didn’t know what you were doing.

but you were starting to hope minji did.

you woke up with a headache that felt biblical.

your mouth was dry, your limbs sore, and your phone was tangled somewhere in your sheets like a ghost of last night. when you opened your eyes, the light leaking through the window burned straight through your skull.

hanni was gone. her bed was made, neat and untouched like she’d barely slept. maybe she hadn’t. you weren’t sure what time it was—somewhere past morning, judging by the brightness—but your body hadn’t adjusted yet. everything still felt sticky and slow.

you didn't remember walking back.

but you remembered the balcony and the way minji had looked at you like she wasn’t trying to understand you, just trying to be there. 

you remembered calling her at midnight. you remembered the words slipping out of your mouth like they’d been waiting there for hours—i think we should give this thing a try. you remembered the way she laughed.

and now she wasn’t saying anything.

you hadn’t checked your phone yet. part of you was scared to. another part already knew—there would be no message. no call back. no follow-up.

and when you did see her—because of course you would—you both pretended.

she met you outside your literature lecture, same as always, clutching a warm bottle of apple cider she must’ve grabbed on the way. she smiled. casual. easy. like the night before didn’t happen. like you didn’t say something that changed everything.

“you look like hell,” she said, nudging your arm gently.

you forced a smile. “i feel worse.”

she passed you her cup. “drink. helps with the hangover.”

you took a sip. it was sweet, slightly spiced, and warm against your cold insides. you handed it back wordlessly. she didn’t say anything about the party. or the phone call. or the way your voice cracked when you said minji last night.

you walked together across campus, shoes crunching over gravel, the trees bare and bending in the wind. your hands brushed once. neither of you moved away.

during your literature lecture, she sat beside you—close enough for your knees to touch. her notes were neat and clean, and she underlined things in light green. you couldn’t focus. not really. the professor’s voice was a blur, and your mind kept drifting—kept coming back to what you said.

“let’s give this thing a try.”

you’d meant it. you were drunk, but you meant it. even now, even with your body still sore and your heart still crawling its way out of the dark, you knew it was true.

but she didn’t say anything. and you didn’t ask.

you left the lecture hall in silence. the sky above was cloudy, pale and low. she walked beside you like she always did, like nothing had changed. and maybe it hadn’t. maybe it was always going to be this—almost something.

almost.

you passed by a group of people you both knew, talking loudly about another party next week. someone mentioned cider, someone else mentioned kisses under stairwells. you felt minji glance at you, just for a second, then look away.

you wanted to scream. you wanted to pull her aside and ask her what she thought. if it meant anything. if it was real, even a little. but your mouth stayed shut.

and so did hers.

later, she touched your arm as you parted ways.

“rest up, yeah?” she said. “you still look like death.”

“thanks,” you muttered, deadpan. “that’s sweet.”

her grin came slow. soft. but there was something behind it. something small and guarded and unreadable.

you wanted to say, talk to me about it. you wanted to ask, why won’t you bring it up?

but you just nodded. turned around. walked back to your dorm where hanni had left a half-eaten sandwich on your desk and a sticky note that said drink water u absolute idiot with three underlines.

you sat on your bed, stared at your phone again. still no new messages. and in the silence, you wondered if pretending meant it would all go away. but it didn’t.

the memory stayed—her laugh, the balcony, your voice at midnight, her silence now.

and you could feel it—ticking beneath your skin, ready to explode.

you never brought it up. neither did she.

the words still sat in the space between you, waiting like they had nowhere else to be. but the longer you pretended they weren’t there, the harder they were to ignore.

minji had started acting… different. not in ways you could really point at. just—softer. warmer.

you noticed it in the way she waited for you after class now, not just outside the door but all the way down the corridor, pretending she just happened to be walking that way. in the way she offered you half her snacks even when she only had two. in the way her eyes lingered just a little longer on your face when you spoke.

and today, she’d asked if you wanted to sit outside after your lecture.

the sun was out but the wind was sharp, and the grass was a little damp, but you said yes anyway.

 minji didn’t mind. she just dropped her canvas tote onto the ground and sat down cross-legged, patting the space beside her.

so you sat. and for a while, neither of you said anything.

birds chirped overhead. your shoes brushed lightly together. minji tipped her face up to the sky, eyes closed.

“your hair’s a bit messy,” she said quietly.

you looked at her, startled. “what?”

she turned to you and reached out, fingers brushing over your fringe, tucking a few strands behind your ear. “there,” she murmured. “fixed.”

your skin burned where she’d touched you.

“you’ve got nice hair,” she added, a little more casually this time, as if she hadn’t just short-circuited your whole nervous system.

you didn’t know what to say to that. you were still trying to recover from her fingers brushing against your cheek.

“thanks,” you said, and hoped your voice didn’t sound too breathless.

minji smiled at the grass like she hadn’t noticed anything. “you’re welcome.”

you tried not to look at her lips. you tried not to think about how close you were sitting. you failed.

the wind lifted a corner of your sleeve and she gently tugged it back into place. you were cold, and she must’ve noticed, because a few moments later she offered her jacket wordlessly, holding it out with both hands.

you stared at her. 

 “i’m fine,” you said, voice quieter than before.

“you’re shivering,” she said. “take it.”

you took it. you wore it.

it smelled like the faint sweetness of her shampoo with a subtle floral smell to it too.

you sat like that, talking about nothing and everything. you talked about the way you hated your 9am’s,the girl in your literature class who always showed up late and still answered every question, the weird fake duck near the campus fountain. normal things. friendly things.

but every time her arm bumped yours, every time she laughed and leaned a little closer, it didn’t feel like just friends. it felt like standing on a cliff, toes curling over the edge.

and maybe she knew that. maybe she was waiting for you to say something again.

but you were still scared. scared of what it would mean to let yourself fall. scared of how soft she made the world feel. scared of what might happen if you told her again—and this time she didn’t laugh.

so you stayed there. shoulder to shoulder. her jacket wrapped around you. the silence between you humming, like static in your chest.

you didn’t know why you kept saying yes to hanni’s invitations—to the music, to the rooms filled with too many voices and too many people and the throb of the bass in your ribs. you told yourself it wasn’t the parties that drew you in. wasn’t the alcohol either—god, never again. not the chaos or the sweat or the smoke curling in other people’s lungs.

no. you knew what it was. you knew who it was.

because no matter where the party was, no matter how late it started or how tired you felt beforehand, you always found minji there. perched somewhere quiet—on the edge of a couch, crouched on the stairs, sitting cross-legged on the floor with her back against the wall. and always with a bottle of apple cider in her hands.

you were drawn to her like tides to the moon.

tonight was no different. you spotted her in the corner of someone’s too-big lounge, the party bleeding around her in shades of red and purple and half-spilled drinks. her hair was tucked behind one ear, soft fringe resting just above her lashes.

you didn’t even think twice. you walked straight over and sat beside her.

“hey,” you said.

she looked at you and smiled. “hey.”

you let the silence sit for a while. it wasn’t awkward. it never was, not with her. but tonight, the air between you buzzed a little more like something wanted to be said.

and it was minji who said it.

 “so…” she began, fingers curling around her bottle, “about that night. the call.”

you blinked. oh.

“you were drunk,” she added gently. “but you said you wanted to give this thing a try.”

you looked at your knees. “i don’t remember saying that.”

what a lie. you remembered every word.

she didn’t call you out on it.

“i like being close to you,” minji said, almost shy. “i like us. like… this. but i don’t know if i want a relationship right now.”

your heart dropped and stuttered. but you caught it and forced your voice into something cool and steady.

“good,” you said, a little too fast. “i don’t even like you that much.”

you didn’t look at her—couldn’t—because that wasn’t true. because it was easier to lie than admit how badly you wanted her.

minji hummed. she didn’t sound convinced, but she let it go.

“what if we just… i don’t know. stayed friends. but, like, closer?”

you turned to her slowly. “closer?”

she nodded, cheeks pink from either the cider or the nerves. “friends with benefits?” she said.

your mouth opened. then closed. then opened again.

 “how would that even work?”

she shrugged, smiling small.

 “we hang out like always. hold hands sometimes. maybe… maybe kiss too?”

your throat went dry. “kiss?”

“only if you want,” she said quickly, eyes wide. “i mean—it’s just an idea. like—i don’t want to make things weird—”

you leaned in and you kissed her.

she tasted like apple cider and lightning caught in glass—sweet, sharp, fleeting. her lips were soft, deliberate, far too careful for something that should've stayed careless.

minji held your face like a secret, not a sin. her thumb ghosted over your cheek before she kissed you again, slow and aching, like she'd dreamt of this and never dared to speak it.

when you pulled away, your chest was thudding.

minji laughed breathlessly. “so… that’s a yes, then?”

you nodded, trying not to look too dazed.

 “yeah. totally. yes. friends.”

“with benefits.”

“yeah. that too.”

you both sat back, side by side, faces warm. someone in the room whooped as a new song came on. someone else knocked over a bottle. but all you could hear was the way your pulse tripped over itself when minji reached down and laced her fingers through yours like it was the most normal thing in the world.

this was fine. this was totally fine.

just friends. just kissing. just… whatever this was.

the next morning felt too normal.

sunlight spilled across the shared dorm like it hadn’t witnessed a kiss that wasn’t supposed to feel the way it did. you rolled over in your bed, the ache in your chest gentle but present. hanni was already gone for class, her side of the room neatly made, her books stacked like soldiers.

you stayed in bed for a while, eyes tracing the patterns of light on the ceiling.

you were friends with benefits now. whatever that meant.

the words sounded too clinical for what had happened last night. for the way minji had held your face in her hands like you were something to be cradled, not consumed. for the way her thumb had brushed your cheek before she kissed you again.

you got up. you dressed. you told yourself you wouldn’t overthink it.

then you saw her.

on the lawn, by the trees near the old library. she sat in the sun like she belonged to it. when she looked up and smiled, you forgot what it meant to breathe right.

you walked over, your pulse flickering in your wrists.

 “hey,” you said, settling beside her on the grass.

“hey,” she echoed, eyes trailing over your face.

 she didn’t say anything else. not at first.

you sat there for a moment. the breeze tugged gently at your jumper and ruffled your hair.

minji reached out, fingers brushing a strand of hair from your cheek.

 “your hair’s kind of messy today.”

“i just woke up.”

she hummed. “it’s cute.”

you didn’t know what to say to that. your throat closed around words that didn’t exist yet.

“so,” you said, pretending the grass between your fingers was more interesting than her mouth. “are we really doing this?”

“doing what?” she asked, teasing.

you gave her a look. she gave you one right back.

“we said we’d try,” she said softly. “being friends. but closer.”

you glanced at her. “it already feels… close.”

minji tilted her head.

 “too close?”

you weren’t sure what the right answer was.

“no,” you said. “just enough.”

she smiled again, quiet and unreadable. you wondered if she felt the way you did—like everything between you was edged with something soft and dangerous.

you talked for a while. about class. about hanni’s awful taste in cereal. about how minji was convinced she saw a ghost in the humanities building once.

and the whole time, her hand sat too close to yours on the grass.

not touching. but not not touching.

and every time you looked at her, your chest did that strange fluttery thing again.

you told yourself it didn’t mean anything.

it was just part of the arrangement. just a benefit.

the problem with feelings was that they never stayed hidden for long. not in university halls where voices echoed, where glances lingered too obviously, where everyone had too much time to notice the small things.

like the way you and minji always found each other in a room. like the way her hand brushed your back when she passed behind you. like how you always sat too close. smiled too easily.

you weren’t dating. you weren’t even really… anything.

just friends. just friends who kissed sometimes.

“you guys act like a couple.”

the words came from someone across the lunch table. you didn’t even catch who said it. one of hanni’s friends maybe. someone who’d seen you and minji sharing a laugh over shared fries and a shared bottle of apple cider.

you laughed, out of instinct. so did minji.

but her smile faltered.

you saw it. the small break in her expression. the way her eyes shifted away from yours.

“we’re not,” she said, brushing crumbs off her lap. “just close, that’s all.”

you nodded like it was obvious. like your heart hadn’t just dropped to your stomach.

when the topic shifted and laughter bubbled around you again, you stayed quiet. minji leaned back in her chair, cool and composed, but she wouldn’t meet your eyes.

you both knew it didn’t feel like friendship.

not when her pinky brushed yours under the table and your breath caught. not when her perfume clung to your clothes hours after she’d gone. not when she said your name in that soft voice she only used for you.

it was maddening.

you walked back to your dorm alone later. hanni had peeled off to get a smoothie, minji had waved goodbye like nothing was strange.

but it was strange.

you were friends. you weren’t supposed to crave her hand in yours. you weren’t supposed to look at her and wonder if she thought about kissing you again.

you weren’t supposed to want more.

but you did. god, you did.

and that terrified you.

you curled into your bed that night, blanket pulled up to your chin, eyes burning holes into the ceiling.

your phone buzzed once— a text from minji:

u home safe?

you stared at it for a long time before typing back:

yeah thanks

you didn’t add a heart. you didn’t say you missed her. but the thought clung to you like smoke.

you missed her in the space between one minute and the next. you missed her like she was already slipping away.

you were just waiting for hanni outside the café when he walked up to you. button-down shirt, too much cologne, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

you didn’t know his name. probably had a literature class together. maybe he’d seen you sit next to minji.

“hey,” he said, leaning on the low brick wall. “you’re y/n, right?”

you nodded, polite. “yeah?”

“i’ve seen you around. you’re in dr. choi’s module?”

you nodded again. he smiled like he’d already won.

“i was wondering…” he tilted his head, voice dropping a little, “are you free this saturday?”

you blinked. you weren’t expecting that. you glanced past his shoulder like hanni might save you, but she wasn’t there yet.

you opened your mouth to respond—

“she’s not,” came a voice beside you.

minji.

she stepped forward, calm but sharp around the edges. her eyes didn’t leave his.

 “she’s not free. not saturday. not ever.”

you stared. so did the guy.

“who the hell are you?” he asked, scoffing. “her secretary?”

minji didn’t flinch. instead, she turned to you, grabbed your hand gently and kissed you.

right on the lips. firm. soft. sure. like she meant it.

your heart shot up to your throat. your knees went weak.

when she pulled away, she turned back to him.

 “i’m her girlfriend,” she said.

he sputtered something under his breath, rolled his eyes, and walked away.

your hand was still in hers.

minji let go the second he disappeared around the corner. you were left standing there, stunned, your lips tingling, your thoughts scattered.

“…what the fuck was that?” you managed.

she shrugged, brushing hair behind her ear. “you looked uncomfortable.”

“so you kissed me?”

“like we haven't done that before. and it worked, didn’t it?” she said, too casual. but her eyes flicked away, like she couldn’t hold your gaze.

you stepped closer.  “minji.”

“what?”

“you told him you were my girlfriend.”

another shrug. “he wouldn’t have left otherwise.”

“but—”

“it didn’t mean anything,” she said quickly. “just a way to get him to back off.”

the words landed with a strange thud in your chest.

right. it didn’t mean anything. except it did. it meant something to you.

you could still feel the heat of her lips on yours. you could still taste her and something soft and warm you couldn’t name.

and you weren’t sure if you were more hurt or hopeful.

you didn’t talk about the kiss. not once.

not the way her lips fit against yours like they’d always meant to be there. not the way her voice softened when she said girlfriend.

no one brought it up. not minji, not you. the tension that had pulsed under your skin for days seemed to… fade.

you were just friends again. 

except she held your hand more often now. and she brushed her fingers against yours when you walked side by side. she would sit too close on the grass behind the library, your knees brushing as she passed you her half-empty can of apple cider.

except she laughed at things you didn’t even realise were funny. except her voice in the morning sounded like it was meant only for you.

the parties still came and went, lights blurring in your memory, music pulsing in your ears. but you stayed sober now. so did she—always sitting in some quiet corner, sipping the same warm cider, watching the world spin a little too fast.

you didn’t kiss again. not even once.

you didn’t need to. not when you shared everything else.

she asked about your coursework, your dreams, your favourite memories from childhood. you told her about your dog who once chewed through your school shoes and the way your mum used to sing in the kitchen when it rained. 

she told you about late summer bike rides and how she couldn’t sleep unless she had her window cracked open a little.

you didn’t mind how close you sat, how her shoulder brushed against yours when you read together on the library steps, or how your hands lingered for a moment longer than necessary when you passed her something.

she made you laugh until your cheeks ached. she knew when you needed silence. she touched your wrist when you zoned out in lectures, just lightly, enough to bring you back.

and sometimes you caught yourself staring. watching the way she tapped her pen against her notes. watching the way the sunlight curved around her face like even the day was in love with her.

it hurt. not sharply. not the way your ex did, tearing through you like glass. this was duller—a quiet ache. because you knew this might be as far as you’d ever get. close, but not quite.

you’d never get to call her yours. you’d never kiss her just because you felt like it. you’d never know what it was like to love her out loud.

but she was here. she was your friend. she sat beside you, sometimes with her head on your shoulder.

and that was enough. you told yourself it was. you had her in this soft, in-between way. not a lover, but not nothing either.

you could talk to her about anything, from the stupid details of your day to the things you’d never say to anyone else. you could laugh with her, walk with her, sit with her.

and yet, you never could quite shake the feeling that the two of you weren’t really allowed to be anything more. every touch, every shared moment, felt like an unspoken agreement: this was all it could be.

sometimes you’d catch her looking at you, too. with that soft expression you couldn’t place. and you’d wonder if she felt the same pull in her chest, the same ache that curled low in your stomach. but it never came up—not once—and you were fine with that. you kept telling yourself you were fine with that.

it was enough to be close to her—to have her in your life, no matter how it was framed.

but every now and then, the thought would creep in, quiet but insistent — what if? what if she wanted more? what if you were just too afraid to admit it?

you didn’t have answers. you didn’t need to.

because for now, it was enough. and maybe that was all you could ask for.

you didn’t even want to be at the party. but there you were. the music thumped under your skin, same as always. the lights were too bright, the bodies pressed too close. but it was warm, and minji was there, and that was enough.

she found you almost instantly. or maybe you found her—you weren’t sure anymore. it always felt like the two of you drifted together by some invisible string.

“come on,” she said, nudging your elbow. “let’s do something stupid.”

you raised an eyebrow. “define stupid.”

minji grinned, eyes glittering like she’d swallowed stars. “we try actual alcohol.”

you stared at her like she’d grown a second head. “you hate alcohol.”

“so do you.”

“exactly.”

“but,” she said, holding up two little red cups filled with something suspicious and vaguely fizzy, “we hate it together.”

you laughed despite yourself. “fine. one sip.”

you clinked your cups like it was something to celebrate.

and then you both drank. and immediately gagged.

“oh my god—” you coughed, fanning your mouth. “that tastes like petrol and regret.”

minji was wheezing beside you, her face scrunched in pure betrayal. “what the hell was that?”

you wiped your mouth with your sleeve, nose wrinkled. “now how in the hell did i get drunk drinking this?”

“that’s what i’m saying. how did you manage to drink this stuff?” she asked, still making a face.

you nodded, leaning your weight against the counter behind you. “i was alone and heartbroken. leave me alone.”

minji turned to you slowly, lips quirking. “if i leave you, you’re gonna be alone and heartbroken again?”

you blinked, caught off-guard.

the party around you blurred, faded, muffled into nothing.

you looked at her—at the soft curl of her mouth and the way her eyes searched yours with something unreadable.

 you swallowed.

“who said you had my heart in your hands?”

“do i?” she asked, almost too quiet.

“yeah,” you said. simple. truth.

she tilted her head, lips parted. “i thought you didn’t like me that much.”

you breathed out a shaky laugh. “well,” you muttered, “i’m a lying liar who lies. what do you want from me?”

minji stepped closer, and the space between you folded in on itself.

her voice was barely a whisper now. “a kiss?”

you didn’t answer. you didn’t need to.

you leaned in, met her halfway, and kissed her.

it wasn’t messy. it wasn’t frantic. it was soft, sure—like it was always supposed to happen.

her hand found the side of your neck, thumb brushing your jaw like she was afraid you’d disappear. you felt her smile against your mouth, and something warm bloomed in your chest.

it didn’t feel platonic. it didn’t feel casual.

it felt real. too real.

you pulled back first, blinking, trying to catch your breath.

minji was still close, her forehead nearly resting against yours.

neither of you said anything for a moment. then she laughed. quietly. breathlessly. and reached over to steal your untouched bottle of apple cider from the counter.

“let’s never do shots again.”

you nodded. “agreed.”

and maybe the world was still spinning, and the music was still too loud, but suddenly you didn’t care.

because she kissed you. and you kissed her back.

and maybe you were both liars. but this? this felt true.

the tension was unbearable. like walking through air thick with smoke—clinging to your skin, caught in your throat, leaving you breathless without even knowing why.

you were still doing it. still pretending you didn’t care. still smiling like everything was fine when the weight of everything unsaid pressed into your ribcage like a bruise.

minji hadn’t kissed you in days. she held your hand still. sat close. sent you little playlists at night and laughed at your stupid jokes like she always had. but there was space between her sentences now.

you felt it before you could name it—the shift—like something slipping between your fingers and you didn’t realise you were holding it until it was almost gone.

minji hadn’t grown cold. not exactly. but she was the slightest bit distant now—like her thoughts had moved just a little too far for you to reach. like every smile she gave you was wrapped in hesitation.

and maybe you were the same. maybe the weight of pretending had worn you both thin. maybe the silence between you wasn’t easy anymore—maybe it never really was.

“are you gonna lose another girl because you’re too scared to admit you care?”

hanni had said it casually, half-curled under her blanket, scrolling through her phone like she hadn’t just lobbed a grenade into your chest.

you froze. she didn’t mean to sound harsh. but she was right.

minji wasn’t your ex. she wasn’t the same kind of heartbreak. but she could be, if you let her slip away.

and tonight—no party, no loud music, no crowd pressing in around you—you realised how heavy the quiet could be.

just you. just minji. two bottles of cider on your desk. and a single lamp painting the room in warm gold.

you were curled up on your bed, knees pulled to your chest, while minji sat cross-legged on the floor, her back to your dresser. she looked tired. but not in a way sleep could fix.

“we haven’t talked in a while,” you said softly.

“we talk all the time,” she said, almost teasing.

“not really.”

and there it was. the truth sitting between you, unsaid.

she stared at her bottle. tilted it in slow circles.

 “yeah,” she murmured. “you’re right.”

you wanted to say something clever. something that would lighten the air or make her smile. but the truth pressed against your ribs, and this time, you didn’t push it down.

“i’m scared,” you said, voice barely above a whisper. “i was so sure i couldn’t feel anything after her. after what happened. but then you showed up. and now i don’t know how to feel. or how not to.”

minji didn’t shift away. she didn’t even blink. just asked, softly, “do you still miss her?”

you closed your eyes.

 “not the way i miss you when you're quiet for too long.”

minji breathed out. it sounded like a sigh and a laugh at the same time.

 “you’re an idiot,” she said gently. “you kept saying you didn’t even like me that much.”

“i lied.”

minji looked up.

“i kept telling myself it was nothing. that i didn’t like you that much. but that wasn’t true. it was never true.”

 you swallowed. “i just didn’t want to lose you.”

she was quiet for a long while. then—

“me too,” she said.

you blinked.

“i didn’t want to lose you either,” she went on. “you were still grieving someone else, and i didn’t want to get in the way of that. and maybe it was easier to just pretend, like… friends. no feelings. no risk.”

 she gave a small laugh. “but we suck at pretending, don’t we?”

you nodded. your throat ached.

“i kept thinking,” she said, “that if i didn’t say anything, we’d stay fine. that we’d stay close. but it hurt anyway. even when we were holding hands or sharing a bed or laughing like idiots at 2am… it hurt.”

you shifted to the edge of the bed, leaning your arms on your knees. minji looked at you, and you looked back, and this time there was no running. no pretending.

“i think i liked you from the start. i just… i didn’t want to ruin it.”

minji’s eyes flicked down. then up. her voice was careful. “you didn’t ruin it.”

you waited. and then—finally—she said, “even if we’re just friends… we could be more than that.”

you exhaled. like the whole world had been holding its breath and finally let go.

you slid off the bed and sat beside her on the floor.

you didn’t kiss her—you didn’t reach for her in that way. you just leaned in, close enough that your foreheads touched. close enough to hear her heart. close enough to stay.

and you did—you stayed.

you stayed like that. just breathing. just being.

just figuring it out.

[howlingmod]

I never asked anyone like you for a request (beacuse I just never asked for it) but can you do a father figure 007n7 x reader? If you don't mind, I might refrence your work into mine if i ever wanted to because i think it looks nice

[hugs from zyran]

summary - 007n7 + child reader (platonic), also c00lkid is here

misc - So. I may have gotten carried away. this doesn't fit the prompt the best. (MY BAD. genuinely very sorry i was struggling). but i would be more than happy to do follow up or something im really a fan of this reader. lot of fun ideas to be had

-You were a weird kid. You couldn't remember much of where you came from and how you got where you were, couldn't think of anyone you could call your family, couldn't think of anywhere you could call home. With nothing to tie you down, you had to learn how to adapt to your surroundings.

-You learned how to lay low, hiding in plain sight and vanishing into crowds. If people did take notice of you, you knew exactly how to lose them in aisles and busy cities, making sure you got lost in all the action before they could get anywhere near you. You didn't want (or need, thank you very much) anyones help. You heard enough stories to let you know you'd just get tossed in with the rest of the unfortunate to be forgotten until you turned 18, and you'd much rather spend your days seeing the world.

-With all that you picked up from your surroundings, you eventually gained an interest in exploiting. You'd only seenn it yourself a few times, watching some other teens clip through walls to steal a few drinks from a gas station or something equally mundane, but you'd heard enough stories to have you hooked. You'd heard enough tales that people whispered to eachother about, seen the strictly-titled books detailing some of the most infamous that lined the scarcely visited corners of libraries, and you knew what you had to do next.

-It wasn't easy, not by any means, but you made it work. It's not exactly easy to get tutorials on something so looked down upon, especially the more advanced hacks, but you had all the time in the world to explore. Over time, you honed your craft, moving from slamming your hands into walls when it didn't work to effortlessly slipping through them. You just had to keep practicing and time would tell.

-Since it wasn't exactly easy to consistently secure food without any money or alerting others to your orphaned state, you started to implement your newfound skills to your daily routine. Only problem was it just forced you to realize some of the errors in your practice. It came to a head one night when you decided to try your luck with a local pizza place.

By that point, you were starving. It'd been a while since you'd eaten anything and you were exhausted from researching all day. Looking back on it now, that was probably big part of why things didn't go too well that night. You'd come up late, wanting to limit the number of possible witnesses.

There was one employee you'd spotted while cloaked heading out for a smoke break, so you'd have to carry out your attack before they got back. After sneaking around them, you'd looked in through one of the very corners of the windows, spotting one cashier and two customers. Not great conditions but you could make it work, at this rate you had to with how your stomsch was killing you.

Readying your nerves, you'd walked back to what you presumed to be the exterior walls of the kitchen. With another breath, you stepped forward, slipping through them with ease and starting your mental timer before the other employee returned. You had to be quick, analyzing your surroundings the moment you came to, completely unaware your sudden entry wasn't at all hidden from the customers thanks to a large doorway you weren't able to see from the window.

There were a few pizzas that seemed ready to go, though they weren't yet boxed up. You looked around for a stack of cardboard, hastily snatching one up the moment you spotted them and slipping one of the pizzas into it. You'd underestimated the weight of it, watching it slip off the lip of the box and onto the floor with a muted splat. You hissed, biting your lip in embarassment before brushing it off. You only had so much time, you couldn't cry over spilled pizza.

The next one went in fine, much to your hushed delight, and you made your way back out. The moment you passed the walls threshold you stopped. One pizza could last you a day or two but two pizzas could last you even longer. Without a second thought, you set the first box down, turned around, and made your way for another. This time, you didn't pick up on the exchange that started with your arrival.

"Papa! Look!" C00lkid cheered, pointing into the kitchen excitedly.

"Huh?" 007n7 looked where his son was pointing, being met with nothing. It was curious but he couldn't pay attention to it right now, busy with ordering.

You found another two pizzas, carefully inching them over into boxes and stacked them up. While you were at it, you decided to pick up a few sodas, you could use the sugar, you were getting pretty tired out lately. Once you'd carefully arranged your haul, you sized it up. It would be a lot to carry and you weren't too confident in balancing it all as you walked. There had to be some bags around here...

Just as you began to scour around, C00lkid separated from his father, quietly padding over to get a better look into the kitchen. He stood and watched as you dug around, looking in boxes and scrambling through the contents of drawers. Finally, you'd managed to find a stack of plastic bags in one box, temporarily struggling to peel one away from the others before you began to quietly open it up, wincing as it crinkled.

At the same moment you got back to your pile of food and began to put it away, everything came crashing down. The back door began to swing open, the other employee walking in with tired eyes before they caught sight of you, shooting wide open.

"Papa, look! There's a-"

"THIEF!"

You jolted upright, staring back like a deer in headlights before scrambling to get everything into the bag. One can clattered onto the floor, narrowly missing the plastic. They stood in shock while the cashier rounded the corner to see you as well, immediately darting over to try and catch you. Just as their arms tried to cage you in, you clipped through them, just barely keeping your bag with you.

"HACKER?!" The other employee shouted, still in shock.

The commotion had pulled n7 from his daze, drawing him over to his son, if only to make sure he didn't get caught in the crossfire. He wasn't sure what he expected to see when he looked into the kitchen, but he certainly wasn't expecting you. He'd seen you just a few seconds before you managed to get back through the wall, hardly disturbing a thing in your way. He recognized the exact exploit you were using as one of the first ones he'd ever learned. You were a novice for sure but, this young? You were well ahead of where he was at your age.

"Oh, for the love of God," Elliot groaned, staring at the spot you'd been moments prior before hiding his face in his hands.

"Should we like .. call someone?" The other asked, giving him a lost look.

"I don't even care, man."

-For the next few days, n7 couldn't stop thinking about the whole ordeal. Sure, he'd seen plenty of hackers before, of all different times and from all different scenes but .. you stuck with him. You looked so scrawny, so small. Maybe being a parent had made him soft- No, it definitely had, but he couldn't stop thinking about you. He did the same thing but he just did it for fun, you clearly had some need for it. Kids don't just look like that, learn this and steal food for no reason, that wouldn't make sense. You were long gone by the time they got outside, not like he'd expected you to stay around the scene long. C00lkid had helped him look around for a little bit to no avail, you made yourself vanish within seconds.

-It'd rained a few days later and he couldn't help but feel sick. He didn't know your situation but the guilt of just watching you run off was eating him alive. He found himself staring out the window, looking for something that never showed up. That night, he laid awake, staring up at the ceiling and listening to every drop hit the roof. The hours crawled by and sleep never found him. He couldn't live like this.

-The next day he'd dropped C00lkid off at school he'd asked Noli to pick him up and watch him till he got back, as he'd be busy with something. Noli had tried to ask him about it but only got a 'I'll tell you later,' in reply. He was too caught up in your case to explain himself right now. He'd tried to look for any reports on similar, recent cases but came up with next to nothing. You'd been keeping your exploiting on the down low for a while now if he had to guess, going off how .. iffy, your pizza heist had gone, that had clearly been your capstone project, an over extension of your abilities.

-You'd been keeping yourself out of trouble then, which was good. However, it gave him one location to go off of, which wasn't as good. Considering you hadn't teleported away, he figured you either A) hadn't learned how to yet, or B) lived in the area. With little else to go off of, he had to hope it was B, as he began his search. He looked into every alley he passed by, reluctantly going down each of them and scouring every corner of them. In a few especially embarrassing examples he'd been caught looking into dumpsters and turning over cardboard boxes, offering up a half-assed excuse about losing something that made most people narrow their eyes and slowly turn away, if only to make distance between him and them.

-He'd continued looking until the sun was just a few hours from the horizon with not a single clue or lead under his belt. Dreadfully, the idea that you were whole cities away began to creep into the forefront of his mind. It was only when he'd stopped into a convenience store for water that he'd gotten a lead.

"Long day?" The cashier asked, eyeing him up suspiciously. He wasn't in the best shape out of breath and distressed by hours of digging through dirty streets and other people's garbage.

"Ah, something like that," he laughed breathlessly, rubbing at his neck. He looked around the store idly, spotting the typical monitor of security cameras hanging up near the ceiling. He'd gazed into it, finding himself in one of the sightlines. Without a second thought, he asked, "Have you had anything get stolen recently?"

"Oh, are you kidding me? Every day some punk comes in here trying their luck, thinking they're a tough guy," they huffed, irritation hardening their voice, "Why? Is that a threat?"

"Oh! No, no, nothing like that! I just ... I know this is going to sound crazy, but I'm looking for someone and uh, the only thing I know about them is that they ..."

"Rob innocent people?"

"Borrow things," n7 winced, "Listen, I know that sounds bad but they're just a kid, I'm worried about them. I've got a son of my own and I just can't imagine what I'd do if I saw him in that kind of state doing things like this."

They cooled a little at that, shoulders lowering.

"I know you've probably got every reason not to tell me but I have to try, they deserve a chance, don't they?"

n7 stared at them, watching as they tapped their fingers on the counter and looked everywhere but at him. After a few long moments, they cracked, hunching over with a sigh, "I think I might know who you're talking about. I caught them here a few nights ago, from what I've heard they live somewhere near the park, under the bridge or in that storage shed, I'm not sure. Not my circus, not my monkeys."

n7 lit up at that, perking up instantly, "Oh- Thank you, you don't know how long i've been looking. Really, I can't thank you enough."

"Just get that kid far away from my store, I already deal with enough sticky fingers as is," They grunted in response.

-The moment n7 had paid for his stuff, he was out the door heading towards the park. Honestly, that should've been one of the first places he checked. He didn't have enough time to criticize his past decision, busy searching for a familiar figure.

-The bridge had been completely abandoned, only a few wrappers and empty cans left behind to insicate anyone had ever been there. Anything from your robbery was absent, leaving him to check the storage shed instead. He didn't pay any mind to the hefty padlock on the door, it was more for show than anything, if this really was where you were staying.

-Sure enough, the boxes and soda cans were one of the first things he found inside. There were a few raggedy sheets and a makeshift mattress out of a few others. You'd built up quite the stash of miscellanious belongings. Clearly, you'd been on your own for a bit, but just how long...? The pit in n7's stomach reappeared, deeper with even more guilt.

"Are you stalking me?" The sudden voice had caused him to nearly jump out of his skin, whipping around to see the owner of it. You were standing a few feet behind him, eyeing him up cautiously with a laptop tucked in one arm, the other clenched at your side.

"Wh- No, no I'm not stalking you. I just want to help you is all, it's not safe for you to be alone," He tried, making his voice as small and nonthreatening as possible. With the path you were on and your situation, he hardly expected you to be accomodating. He had to be careful of what he said here, one wrong word and the whole thing would fall apart.

"So you're stalking me."

"No, I'm- That's not," n7 stammered, struggling for the right thing to say. He wasn't exactly an expert in handling delicate situations, he barely even knew what he was doing with C00lkidd half the time.

"Weren't you an exploiter?" You asked, curioisity bleeding into your voice. There it was, that was an opening he could use, right? Find common ground then go from there ...

"Yes, I was. I see you've been learning. You're pretty impressive for a kid," you almost smiled at that, a twitch of the lips that was snatched away in an instant, corrected as soon as you noticed the slip-up.

"You aren't anymore. Why'd you stop?"

"Well, exploiting can hurt a lot of people. I ... I just wasn't proud of who I was, that's why I'm so w-"

You cut him off before he could even try segwaying into your situation, "That's stupid. You learned all that just to throw it away?"

n7 stiffened at that, this was clearly veering down the wrong path, derailing right before his eyes, "It's not throwing it away, it's just that you can't take advantage of people like that."

"Why shouldn't I? Not like they've done anything for me " you hissed, pulling your laptop up over your chest.

Fuck. This was going bad, really bad. You'd already taken a half-step back, you were so close to just running off and starting this whole process again. He got down on a knee, lowering to your height, "Listen, I know people haven't been kind to you and I'm so, so sorry for that. I can help you figure this out, I've got plenty of space and food- I've got a son just like you, actually."

You'd relaxed a little, setting your foot back down on the ground.

He smiled, "Or, if you don't trust me, I'd be happy to help you find someone else. I know there are plenty of people who'd be happy to take you in."

That set you off again. Instantly, any of the consideration you had was replaced with something more active, more aggressive. You clutched your arms around your laptop, hunching over it and grit your teeth, leering up at him, "Like I need your help! I'm not falling for this stupid trap, I'm not just gonna throw this all away! Just leave me alone!"

With that, you spun on your heel and ran through the wall, leaving him to spring up and stumble after you.

"I didn't mean it like that- I'm not gonna turn you in or anything. Just wait!"

He'd only caught you for a few seconds before he blinked, opening his eyes to see nothing. Where you'd been darting off moments ago, you were gone. Did you teleport? He hadn't seen any menu... He stared for a few seconds longer, scanning the horizon. Nothing, absolutely nothing, was around. You'd completely vanished.

He looked up at the sky, being met with sunset. The later half of one, too. When had it gotten so late? It'd been noon not too long ago. The sky was tinted with red, absent of any answers. Reluctantly, he turned away, heading back home. He'd have to try something else, maybe he should just call someone, he didn't have time to run around like this with C00lkidd. Speaking of which, how was he doing? He hoped he hadn't been too much trouble for Noli.

-***-

Your bones hurt, or maybe it was your muscles. Something was hurting, that's all you knew. You weren't too worried about it. From the way that shadow had made it out, you had all the time in the world to get better, stronger. The menu in front of you was stacked with new exploits, you'd been scrolling through it with glazed over eyes, each name drawing your interest with all the possibilities.

As you limbs laid heavy on the ground, your hand kept scrolling. You stopped briefly on one, '/fling.' You looked past the menu, finding a nearby log and typing in your best approximation of its ID. The second you hit execute, you watched it go flying, soaring through the sky until it inevitably hit the ground with a distant 'splash.' You smiled, a weak little laugh prying its way out of your scratchy throat. You spared your legs a glance, they looked so strange. Did you always look like this? Had you always had such sharp nails? Is that why everyone looked at you like that?

"Hey! That looks just like my dads!" A voice cried next to you, echoey and distorted. The owner plopped down by your side, leaning into your field of vision with a grin.

"He uses it to teleport us to school!" He beamed, rocking back and forth, "Can you teleport?"

You stared at the small boy out of the corner of your eye, meeting his excited, expectant eyes. Numbly, you shifted your eyes back towards the menu, finding the '/tp' and digging through your mind for a random ID number. Your fingers found the keys before they even registered in your mind, the screen an extension of your arm more than anything. As you hit 'execute,' a soda can fell and tipped over next to your knee.

The boy gasped, snatching the can up giddily, "Awesome! What else can you do?"

You found yourself looking for another command before you could even process his words, scrolling for the next object of interest. 'He looks so strange,' you thought, not too far off from how you looked, though. As he settled in to watch you work, you found you didn't mind either of your appearances.

[florihaei]

• ౨ৎ ────── HEAVY HANDS, TENDER HEART ⟡ 🫐 ₊ ˖ ་.

˖ ！for my love lee jeno ❞ 💭 ( 이제노 ) ꒰ lee!jeno x fem!reader

in which … lee jeno fights battles inside and outside the ring, but the hardest one is keeping you at arm’s length. when misunderstandings and bruised hearts threaten to pull the both of you apart, jeno has to choose, keep guarding himself, or fight for the one person he can’t afford to lose ⟡ 🫐

⟡ 🫐 - boxer jeno !, angst/ suggestive/fluff- miscommunication, mentions of physically injures(bruises, cuts), happy ending!, names : pretty, baby, pretty girl, angel!

౨ৎ … WC - 2k! ( FLORIHAEI’S VALUT )

⟡ 🫐 秋のメモ… ︵ ︵ ིྀ - decided to do a little change to the theme, i don’t know how to feel about it! let me know!!, but feedback and reblogs are always greatly appreciated!!, please enjoy!!

©florihaei 2025 ꒰ do not rewrite, copy, repost, or translate any of my works without permission ۟ ׅ ͡ ୨ৎ

the gym always smelled like sweat every time you came. punching bags swayed the ceiling, the sound of gloves hitting the leather echoing off the concrete wall as. and the center of it all stood. lee jeno, your boyfriend, your boxer, your biggest heartbreak waiting to happen.

you watched him from the corner bench, arms crossed tightly against your chest. his movement were sharp. there was something so captivating about how focused he was. but today, you weren’t just here to admire him. today you were here because he hadn’t answered your calls in three days.

jeno ducked under a punch form his partner and finished with a clean uppercut. the partner stumbled back, waving a gloved hand to signal to end the match. jeno ripped off his gloves, tossing them to the side, and finally after what felt like ages his eyes met yours.

you stood up, tension stiffening in your spine.

“hey” he said as his voice was low and rough from his match you guessed.

“hey..” you stared at him, taking in his he bruises that were going along his jaw. “you good?”

he shrugged, wiping his face with a towel. “it’s just training.”

“you didn’t call me back” your voices cracked a little bit, and you hated that.

jeno avoided your gaze, tossing the towel onto a bench. “i’ve been busy.”

you stepped closer, feeling like you were standing at the edge of a cliff. “too busy to text me once?”

there was a moment of silence. the sound of gloves hitting bags filled the air again, but it feels like the world had shrunk to just you and him.

“im not trying to hurt you” jeno muttered, finally looking at you, and you just wished he hadn’t. his expression was closed off, his expression was closed off, his guard up, like you weren’t just another opponent.

“then what are you trying to do jeno?” your voice was small, honest…

he breathed out sharply through his nose. “im trying to focus, i have a fight coming up. I don’t need distractions..”

those words hit harder than any punch.

“oh” you laughed bitterly, wrapping your arms around yourself: “right .. im a distraction”

he flinched like he hadn’t meant for it to come out like that. but it was too late. you were already backing away, your chest filled with hurt.

“good luck with your next fight” you said tightly, turning before he could see your eyes blur with tears.

-

you didn’t hear from jeno for a week.

you didn’t watch his fight, event those you saw it trending online.

you didn’t answer when he text late at night, with two simple words, “im sorry”

you didn’t trust yourself to answer, because if you did, you knew you would forgive him to easily, and you weren’t sure if you should.

but love is messy, it’s stupid, it doesn’t listen to your logic.

so when someone knocks on your door at midnight two days later, you knee before you opened it that it was him.

jeno stood there, hoodie pulled low over his forehead, hands shoved into his pockets. a fresh cut split the corner of his lip, and bruises shadowed his knuckles.

“can i come in?” he asked, voice horse.

you hesitated, every instinct screaming at you to protect yourself, but you stepped aside anyway.

he walked in slowly, like he was scared to break something. you stayed by the door, watching him like he might vanish.

for a long moment, neither of you said anything.

then jeno finally turned to face you, his walls down for once, his eyes raw and vulnerable.

“i won” he said quietly. “the fight.. i won”

you nodded stiffly. “congrats”

he swallowed hard. “it didn’t feel good.”

that caught you off guard. “what?”

jeno ran a hand through his messy hair, pacing a little like he was in the ring again, trying to find the right angle.

“i thought winning would fix everything, i thought if i just.. pushed everyone away, i could focus.. be better. be stronger”

he stopped, fist clenching at his sides.

“but i was wrong, i was so fucking wrong baby.”

you pressed your back against the door, trying to keep steady as he stepped closer.

“you’re not a distraction ___” jeno said, his voice breaking. “you’re the only thing that’s keeping me sane”

tears stared to prick your eyes, but you blinked them away. “then why did you push me away jeno?”

he looked at you like you were asking him to pull his own heart out. “because i was scared angel.. scared that if i let myself need you, and something happened.. i’d lose everything”

“you wouldn’t lose me jen” you whispered. “you never had to choose between fighting and loving me.”

he stepped closer, so close that you could feel the heart radiating off him, you could smell the faint scent of leather and sweat clung to his skin.

“i know that now pretty.”

his hands hesitantly, then dropping again, like he didn’t know if he had the right to touch you anymore.

you reached for his first.

your fingers brushed against his bruised knuckles, gently and tenderly, and jeno let out a shaken breath like the smallest touch was enough to undo him.

“i’m sorry” he whispered again. “for everything baby”

you nodded, your throat too tight to speak. then he reached up, cupping his batted face, pulling him down for a kiss.

it wasn’t perfect, he winched slightly against the cut on his lips, but it didn’t matter. it was real, it was yours.

when you pulled away, jeno pressed his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

“i love you” he said, his voice raw.

you let out a broken laugh, tears finally slipping free. “i love you too idiot”

he smiled, it was small.. real, the kind of smile you hadn’t seen in weeks.

“stay?” you whispered.

he nodded without hesitation, pulling you tightly against his chest like he was scared you might slip away again.

“always..”

jeno was a fighter in and out of the ring, but when he was with you, he didn’t have to fight anymore he could just be him.

[sapphicautumn]

Mother’s Day. EW.

Synopsis: Ellie helps celebrate your first Mother’s Day at the farm house together. Basically you’re Dina, but not Dina.

Pairing: Established!relationship Ellie x Fem reader. WLW. Domestic AU.

Content: fluff. Pure fluff.

A/N: Happy Mother’s Day! Thank you for all the love I’ve received on the story I posted last night. Tumblr community is so supportive and I love you guys. I wanted to publish a little quick blurb today in honour of the holiday. We also get episode 5 tonight so *rubs hands together* we get to see more of that. If you’re a mom, older sister, or mother figure, have the best day today. <3

Ellie’s boots weighed heavy along the wood floor of the farm house, her ears picking up the soft sound of your laugh. She smiled to herself, putting down her backpack.

She went out hunting early this morning. When she left, you were asleep with JJ wrapped up in the sheet beside you. You’d woken up to a note on the pillow from her.

“Gone hunting. Be back soon. Love you. Happy Mother’s Day <3”

The hand writing made you smile, pressing a kiss to the 4 month old boys head as he woke up too.

You learned about Mother’s Day back in Jackson, you never knew there were designated days that were celebrated for such roles. That’s the sad thing about living in an apocalypse, importance of appreciation is forgotten.

Prior to your own mothers passing, you’d always make her something special. There wasn’t much around, but you’d trade your own items in return for something like semi worn boots, or a patched up winter coat.

And of course, it was always appreciated, not matter how small it seemed.

Ellie on the other hand, never had the experience of a mother-daughter relationship. She had Joel, and that was enough. Things changed when JJ was born-and she wasn’t sure if she’d fit the role of being a mom. It came so naturally to you, like it wasn’t something to think or second guess about. You just did the damn thing.

Her brown hair covered head peeked around the corner, gazing into the playroom. She saw you on the floor, jj sprawled out on his floor mat.

Your hands delicately squeezed his feet, holding them to your mouth as you peppered soft kisses along the soles, the newborns slight giggles bringing a smile to both of your faces. “I love you, little one” you’d coo, absolutely enamoured with the life you created, laying down below you.

Your pregnancy wasn’t fun, like not at all. If you had not had Ellie, you’d probably be in a very dark place. Upon moving to the farm house when you were 6 months pregnant, Ellie had hoped the extra space away from people would soothe your mind, instead, you found yourself crying in her arms almost every night. You didn’t plan on having a baby. Unfortunately you got pregnant without planning it days before breaking things off with your ex boyfriend at the time.

He wasn’t very supportive, which is part of the reason Ellie took you away from the town. To take care of you, but the constant fear of bringing an innocent life into such a cruel and evil world made you guilty, almost as if you were dooming your son from the start.

“He loves you too, im sure of it” Ellie’s quiet voice would interrupt the moment between JJ and you, causing your head to turn, smile crossing your expression.

“You think?”

Ellie walked closer, gently kneeling as she sat beside you. Her chin rested on your shoulder as the two of you looked down at the baby. “Look at how he looks at you…”

With a soft chuckle, you’d crinkle your eyes, head tilting back against her own. “Yeah, that’s cause he wants milk.”

She fondly smiled and pressed a kiss against your ear.

“I didn’t hear you come in, when did you get back?”

“Few minutes ago….” She shrugged, watching you. “I left you a note”

“I saw, I saw” you giggled, hand coming up to brush her hair away. “Happy Mother’s Day to you too, by the way.”

Ellie’s little nose crinkled, “it sounds to weird…to be called a mum. Don’t feel like one sometimes.”

You softened, tilting your head. “You helped with jj, you’re literally raising him with me. In my eyes, that makes you a pretty good mom. I couldn’t do this alone, els.”

And it’s true.

4 months prior, you had been pacing the hallway of the farm house, glaring at Ellie as you waddled past her.

“Why’re you glaring at me, honey?” She’d ask, not admitting it, but a little terrified of you.

“Because I’m in pain and you’re just standing there!!” You didn’t mean to be bitchy, you were overstimulated.

Ellie pushed herself off the counter she leaned on, her hands going to your waist, rubbing over the swell of your stomach. She knew it’s been hell, and she’s tried so hard to keep you comfortable.

“What can I do…?” She mumbled, eyebrows scrunched.

Your palms covered your face, you were crying for the upteenth time today. It’s been an emotional one. “I dunno.”

Ellie sways with you, mind lost in thought. “Your water hasn’t broken yet-”

“But I’m having contractions, they are like, in my back.” You whine, guiding her palms to rub your lower spine.

With a nod, she speaks. “Yeah, that’s normal I think. I’m sorry it hurts, sweetheart” her whispers tickled your neck. “Let me take you upstairs, please? I’ll get you comfy in the bathroom. I’m not gonna leave your side tonight. Pinky promise.”

With a huff, your stubborn ass let her assist you upstairs. You were placed into the small bath, the warm water soothing the sharp pangs of the contractions that were on and off.

Ellie dimmed the harsh light and sat beside you outside the tub. “I’m here…” her hands held a plastic cup, filling it with water and rinsing it down your back to keep you distracted.

She sat with you all night, until 3:43am when jj made his (loud) entrance into the world. She’d seen a lot of things in her life, but watching you place the newborn baby against your chest with a swell of pride in your eyes, was by far one of, if not the best, things she’s ever seen.

“You did it, oh god baby, im so proud of you” Ellie’s panicked little giggle echoed in the bathroom, leaning forward to kiss your head, then the baby.

Ellie’s true test of companionship with you was the weeks following, when you’d fallen into the mental rabbit hole of postpartum. You hated the way you looked, hated being around the baby for too long, not because you didn’t love him, but you really thought he hated you or something. The brain can really mess you up.

“My love, jj doesn’t hate you. He’s a baby…he’s fussy ‘s all” Ellie would try to soothe you and the infants crying, bouncing across the nursery gently as she held him tightly.

“He won’t latch!”

“He’s probably got a tummy ache or something?” She tried, looking down. Her heart aches for both of you. “I’m sure he will be alright, babies are unpredictable, sometimes they cry for no reason. You didn’t do anything, baby”

She didn’t know it, but Ellie was really the glue of the group. Keeping you stable, keeping the baby safe and cared for whenever you needed time.

How could she think of herself as anything less than a good parent?

You kissed her nose, then her lips.

You three sat in the playroom, still on the floor. “You’re as much as his mom as I am…I mean that ellie…”

Her eyes softened shyly, fingers moving down to touch the baby. His grip was strong, little tiny fingers wrapping around Ellie’s thumb tightly. “Thanks”

Your hands cupped her face as you kissed her once more. “Don’t thank me…” a peck. And another. And another.

Ellie giggled and tucked her head back to look at you.

“I got you something.”

You tilted your head curiously. “Oh?”

“Mhm…stay here” her smirk widened as she stood up, leaving for a moment. You looked down at the baby as you guided his tiny body up, cradling the boy against your chest.

Few minutes pass before Ellie comes back in, holding something behind her back. “Ok…so…I don’t know how you’ll feel about this?”

A slight smile creeps up, you’re only more curious with the lack of context. “Okay….?”

Ellie sat in front of you again, she pulled out the item from behind her.

“Ellie…”

It was a little silver ring, it was a bit worn, as Ellie found it in an abandoned store. It was rare to find anything in tact, but to find something like this? She had to take it.

“I just, uh…so, I don’t know if it’ll fit. Kinda just, took it.” Her nervous giggle made your ears flush. “Let me try it on then”

You held your hand out, watching her slide it onto your ring finger. It’s a little big. “Fuck” Ellie frowned. “I’m sure I can fix it for you”

“Thank you baby, I love it. Seriously.” Your voice was fond, soft and thoughtful.

“I love you a lot”

You watched her speak. “I love you more”

“Nuhuh”

“Yeah huh”

Jj coos, interrupting both of you, causing Ellie to laugh. “Oh, someone wants attention. Lemme see him”

You carefully handed over the baby, watching your girlfriend cuddle your son to her chest. Something in you fluttered

“Careful, he has that little soft spot” you gesture to his scalp. Ellie cringed, glancing at it. She loved JJ, but some thing icked her out. She placed her palm on his head, shielding it.

You stood up and went over to your desk. “Well…I got you something too, it doesn’t compare to a ring but-”

“You got me something?” Ellie spoke, almost surprised.

“Yeah?” Your voice soothed, coming over with a canvas. “Of course I did….” You handed over the artwork, Ellie coos, almost wanting to cry.

It was a painting of your hand print, with jj’s handprints inside your own. Oh how sweet…

“You’re such a sap” she muttered, trying to act nonchalant.

“You’re tearing up!” Your voice teased as Ellie giggles, shaking her head. “Because I love you! I love potato, I love you both so much….” Her fingers wipe her cheek before looking down again at the picture. She placed it down. “Cmere”

You leaned in and kissed her softly, a little more than a peck. When you pulled away you nuzzled against her face, humming. “I love you too…we both do. Let me make us lunch, and we can eat outside on the grass together. Little picnic.” You offered, knowing you’d have more time to love on her after the baby went to bed.

“That sounds lovely.” Ellie’s eyes crinkled, smiling up at you as your body stood. She admired the way your body looked in overalls, she loved every change you possessed after having the baby.

The three of you spent the afternoon on a towel outside, watching the sky as you ate. “He’s gettin fussy huh?” Ellie frowned, tickling the baby’s stomach gently.

“He needs his nap”

Ellie’s eyebrows quirked, making you roll your eyes. “Pervert”

“Oh so I’m a pervert for loving my wife?”

“Since when did we marry?”

Ellie smiles gently, shrugging. “You don’t wanna marry?” Her tone is teasing

“Never…said that” your tone was similar, smiling, making Ellie lean forward and jokingly kiss your neck all messily.

“Hey!! Hey! Stop, im gonna drop our damn kid”

The two of you watched each other like lovesick puppies, she took the baby from you very carefully.

You both walked inside the screen door, entering the cooler aired house. Ellie gently laid the half asleep boy into the cot. “Nap time, bubba”

Your back leaned against the wall, watching from afar. Ellie came over to you and smiled, wrapping her arms around your waist in what seemed like an innocent hug. “Mmmm”

She sighs against your shoulder before leaning down and picking you up, over her shoulder. You tried to not laugh, as the newborn was sleeping a few feet away. “Ellie!” Your voice raised a stern whisper.

She found it hilarious. “Cmon mama”

You snorted as she led you upstairs, allowing you on your back, against the bed. You widely smirked, reaching up to hold her shoulders. “You’re so annoying, Yknow that? Right?”

“Am i?” Ellie’s voice gave away sarcasm. “I’m soooo the worst.” Her hands tickled as her lips kissed your neck.

You clung to her, feeing the calm bliss and comfort of the moment sink in. You were pretty lucky.

Your eyes darted to the wall, seeing that Ellie had hung up the painting you and jj made. Oh god I do wanna marry her. You almost wish that ring she gave you was an engagement.

As long as you had them, you’d be alright. You and your little family.

<3

[sunniiiarts]

Dancing till the sunrise

Since reading the last chapter of TROD i’ve wanted to draw them dancing, so today i finally did it and im actually rlly happy about how it turned out 💪

[lalaluna20]

Supposed to go

Azzi x reader warnings: heaveyyy angst, 2024 final four 😬, heavy use of italics (sorry), uh yea…

this wasn't how it was supposed to go

At least not for azzi

For the first time, you were finally able to go to one of azzi’s games in her collegian career.

but

she didn't want it this way, this was never how it was supposed to go.

because now, she's sitting on the bench, unable to play on her biggest stage for the second time. feeling disappointment as heavy as the world, she looks over at you desperately seeking for your comfort.

but

this wasn't how it was supposed to go. because now you're sitting in the other section, covered in black and gold. sitting with her family.

you were supposed to be here for azzi, not for her.

azzi couldn't help but to get lost in thought. all the possibilities, all the things she could've done, should've done, all the regrets.

she regrets it all.

when you told her you were going to iowa for their creative writing program.

when she contacted her friend caitlin clark. they grew rather close while on fiba's U16 usa team. their friendship only grew while on U19. so azzi reached out to her, asking her to help you around and just be a familiar face. azzi knew you would be in good hands. caitlin's kind, funny, charming, she would bring you in with nothing but welcoming arms.

god she regrets it.

when you moved down to iowa city, you and azzi kept your routine. call once in the morning, text during lunch breaks, and call once after all your classes. but as time went on calls changed to once a day, to no texting over lunch breaks, to calls once a week.

until around a two weeks before her first season; azzi texted you out of no where.

hey, im sorry i haven't been able to talk much lately. things are just getting really busy with basketball. i dont think i'll be able to talk much until the season is over.

but of course you had to be a sweetheart. you always were.

it's okay az i understand just call/text me whenever you're free i miss you :( love you <3

if she could take it all back she would. but she can't.

she snaps out of her thoughts, feeling a tear filling her waterline. she forgets how much her heartbreaks thinking about how things went down.

she remembers how caitlin would post photos of the two of you, hanging out, getting coffee, books, you name it. but azzi never thought anything of it. she was too focused on her career.

but when she tore her acl it all changed. for the first time you were no longer there to comfort her. and although she had paige and her teammates, they never compared to you. not even close. but you’re 1046 miles away from her a 17 hour drive (not including traffic) now you were way too far and busy to even come back and comfort her. that didn’t mean you didn’t try, of course you did. you guys started calling twice a day again, started texting during lunch breaks again. it all helped the aching hole in azzi’s heart.

that was until she was scrolling through insta. watching insta stories while waiting for her physical therapy session. that’s when caitlin’s story pops up. it was a photo of you acrossed the table. the biggest, brightest smile on your face. one she hasn’t seen since you guys were kids. it made her heart ache, wishing she was the source of your happiness. but the nail on the coffin? was the caption. “one year with my beautiful girl 🖤 forever grateful to call her mine.”

for the first time the world stopped azzi felt a pain she has never felt before. far more painful than any acl tear.

all azzi could do was ask why? why didn’t you tell her? why did you start dating caitlin? why not her?

once again, snapping her out of her thoughts. Ice taps her on the shoulder. “azzi? you doing okay?”

god she needs to turn her mind off. “yea im fine ice.” she states far to quick to be considered normal. but ice doesn’t push it. especially not with how close the game is going.

that’s when gasps fill the stadium. yours sticking out the most to azzi. watching you stand in horror as you watch kate go down. kate martin being one of your first friends at iowa, after caitlin introduced the two of you. azzi would hear all about the adventures you and kate would go on over the late summer early fall months. whether that would be going to the farmers market in downtown, the apple orchard in the outskirts of iowa city, or the author visits the two of you would go to at this local bookstore. she watched as anne held you in her arms, telling you kate was going to be okay. she watched as you lit up seeing kate return to the floor, sighing a breath of relief.

but just as quickly, that breath was sucked back in. “THE OFFENSIVE FOUL ON EDWARDS” the commotion in the in the stadium louder than ever. the Iowa pep band rubbing salt into an already painful wound. the mix of defeat and frustration geno held making an uncomfortable huddle. emtions are high as caitlin heads to the line, shooting for two.

but azzi could care less, her eyes lock on you. watching your hands clasp together, your lips reading “we need this baby, just two more, please”. watching you practically shake with anticipation.

she watches as you cheer. 1.1 left on the shot clock as sydney takes the ball. you look exactly like you did when you got all A’s on your final report card back in high school. azzi felt her heart swell, but just as fast as she feels the warmth.

“clark bounces it off of bueckers out of bounds. with just one tenth of a second remaining.”

azzi feels her heart drop yet again. the guilt of being unable to support her team swallowing her whole. as they reset the time to 0.8. she watches her team. seeing the pain in their eyes, seeing the frustration and defeat in her coaches. she can’t bare to see it. she look at you, seeing the shaky hope in your eyes. knowing your little saying “you haven’t won till the buzzer hits zero” you’d say as you guys cuddle up on the couch watching wnba games.

god everything hurts.

the buzzer goes off. the rigging bringing you joy, but brings pain to azzi’s ears. she watches as you jump in the arms of caitlin’s family overcome by joy.

“AND THAT WILL DO IT!!”

“IOWA SURVIVES CONNECTICUT!!”

as they high five, azzi tries to hide her pain. giving a weak smile to her team usa friend.

this was never how it was supposed to go

as azzi waits in the locker room, waiting for her teammates to get done with interviews, waiting for the locker room discussion. she watched the livestream taking place. watching as caitlin goes to look for you. watching as she hugs her father, mother, brothers. then she watches as caitlin picks you up, twirling you around and kissing you on the lips. “baby we did it.” caitlin says with the biggest grin. “i’m so proud of you” you state before kissing her again, cheers erupting from her teammates, coaches and supporters.

azzi shuts her phone off, feeling sick to her stomach. it shouldve been her. you should be in her arms, she shouldve been playing, she should be the one going to the championship. but it’s not, and all she could do now was wish it was her. she tries to hold back her tears, but before she even knows it, they’re flooding out like an uncontrollable river.

this was never how it was supposed to go.

after a month i finally wrote it T~T thank you for reading! i hope you enjoyed! taglist: @ashortyluvsports, @itsssports, @salemsuccss, @d1paigebueckersglazer, @laurenmcucm, @sweetbcgs, @bueckersverse, @mariahthealchemist, @pbno5

[r0manceplanet]

hallo!!,, ^_^ uuuhh this is my first time doing one of these so my apolocheese if this is worded oddly!! X-(

Fandom: forsaken

Pronouns: they / them

Gender + Sexuality: agender and pan (open to polyamory)

Personality: i'd like to say im a fairly positive and caring person!! i LOVE socializing, but at the same time I have HORRIBLE social anxiety, so it usually takes me a while to actually get the courage to get to know people,, X-[ I'm typically a very quiet and reserved as im not typically that energetic of a person,, but if I know you well, and if i have the energy for it, then I definitely can become very outgoing :-)

Hobbies: Photography, gardening (every flower I've tried to plant has died within a week </3) studying quantum physics, baking, and storytelling (I LOVE CREATING STORIES!!!)

Likes + Dislikes: i LOVE horror stories, i don't care WHAT form of media it even is I JUST LOVE HORROR!!!! same goes for quantum physics!! Though I'm specifically interested in multiverse theory!!!! also I really really like music!! My music taste shifts very often though, so I like a LOT of different genres,, ^_^;; OH also i love, love, LOVE flowers with all my heart!!!! I'll even paint or sketch them occasionally!! I just wish I actually knew how to take care of one AUGH💔 ((as for dislikes,,, surprisingly there's not much i dislike other than, like, basic things that everyone dislikes,, but if I really had to think of something, I guess don't really like crowded places or overly energetic people(like, YouTube family blogger type of overly energetic. they SCARE me) oh and also ketchup i really hate ketchup))

Love language: Quality time and words of affirmation

What i look for in a partner: someone who l can communicate with, and will communicate with me whenever there's an issue going on and will love me no matter if I'm acting reserved and quiet or energetic and outgoing. But overall, someone who spends time with me and shows they really love me <:-)

(AUUGGHHH SORRY IF THIS WAS LONG DUDE!!! D-:)

FORSAKEN MATCHUP #3

Thank you for sending in your matchup! and it was not too long at all! I love the stuff you added too, you seem like a really cool person— AND I think I had the most fun with this one since I matched you up with someone that I felt was *chefs kiss*

.

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Press “Keep Reading” to see who you got matched with!

I have matched you with… Azure and Two Time!

• Oh boy, you would not believe how excited I was when I matched you with these two, they both just fit you so perfectly in a way I cannot describe!

• You would meet them both before the games took place and before Two Time slowly turned insane, you were the latest member to the spawn cult, and they were both very eager to introduce themselves to you, they slowly got to understand you more through the conversations you all had together.

• Your insane knowledge for quantum physics was the reason why you were recruited to the cult, it was an asking help to help the cult grow more powerful for other people to join, and two time and azure loved learning about it through you, especially your passion for multiverse theory, they got to share a few things in common with you because of those two topics, which eventually leads up to them figuring out how to ask you out.

• They both were a little nervous on figuring out how to ask you out, they didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable, and they didn’t wanna lose you. Two time was the one that brought the idea up to Azure about how to ask you out, and to talk it out if they were both ok with dating you since they were still partners, but once learning they both share the same feelings with you and were on board with a plan, they go on to ask you out, with two time being extravagant about it with bringing gifts to you as an offering LMAO.

• After they asked you out, and (hopefully) with you agreeing they both were through the roof happy about it, and once things are settled with being in a polyamorous relationship with them, the fun begins. It’s so much fun being in a relationship with the both of them, whenever you all plan a home date azure and two time are both bickering about what movie they wanna watch, or about what they wanna do— but once you come up with an idea you wanna do, they throw all of their ideas out the roof and go along with what you wanna do.

• I headcanon that they both don’t listen to music often, with the reason being that they don’t have the time to listen because of how devoted they both are to the cult, but once they are together with you that all changes when you make them listen to a few of your favorite songs through their playlist, and then they both get into it and make their own, Azure seems like the type of dude to listen to soft music, like pop or j-pop (like lamp, ichiko, etc) and while two time seems like the type of person to listen to nu metal and rock. They would both make a playlist with you in there to listen to all of your favorite songs, and they put it on whenever they’re both hanging out with you.

• If you were to ever paint the two of them, they would both be in awe and hang it up, you made a portrait with azure and two time, and another one with you all in there, and they hung it up in the house they share with you, and they love staring at it whenever they’re both bored. And with your love for flowers, I feel like you would have so many colorful portraits of them being surrounded in flowers, and I feel like they would hang up those portraits you give them with a flower themed case.

• About flowers, Azure would give you a bouquet of flowers as a sign of his love towards you, that also goes for two time too, two time would also do the same but tends to get you other gifts than flowers and leaves that up for Azure to do. Azure makes flower crowns for the three of you, and takes a selfie afterwards. I can see the three of you running through a field of flowers without a care in the world, sprinting through the field and then tripping while laughing all together, it is truly a beautiful sight of the love you all carry for each other.

• Since you mentioned that you have social anxiety and it takes the courage to talk with people, I feel like they would easily get you to come out of your shell, and two time is the person that’s the most social in the trio, and even when you met them they were the first ones to introduce themselves, same with Azure but he’s also like you when meeting people, but oddly gets comfortable when he met you.

• You will always get compliments thrown your way from the both of them, and their compliments are super creative, they always compliment how good you look in a certain type of clothing, or pointing out the little details on your face that make you all flustered and fuzzy inside. They’ll always praise you because of how perfect you are to the both of them, and they couldn’t be more grateful to have you in their lives.

• You and Two time have the best horror stories, you both always tell each other them deep into the night, with azure listening to the both of you talk, and him adding in as well. Azure loves the stories you and two time come up with, and even you and two time have a little notebook you share with the stories you both created. Azure reads them while you both are sleeping each night (as long as he can read while being in the chaos of being close together while sleeping).

• When Two Time slowly goes insane, you and azure both notice immediately as they get slowly further from you both, and you and azure ask if they’re alright and they brush it off with a small “Yeah, I’m alright why?”. It didn’t seem like a big deal at first until an incident happened at the cult where you discovered that Two Time sacrificed azure for a ritual order in order for them to receive a second life, you felt like your entire world just crumbled in front of your eyes while screaming and crying at two time about what they’ve done.

• But two time doesn’t kill nor sacrifice you, no, not at all, but they threaten you that if you try to leave them you’ll end up just like Azure which forces you to stay in the relationship, and you will always live two time, of course you will, but your heart can’t fully recover after what they did to azure, you cry about it silently every night while they’re sleeping next to you. And once your in the games, you only have two time and they only have you, your stuck with two time forever there’s no leaving, will you ever see Azure? And when you do will he recognize the both of you? You don’t know, but when you do you’ll give him a hug and whisper secret apologies into his ear about how sorry you are that you couldn’t be there to protect him, and if he does kill you then it’s whatever, but 99% chance that he won’t, but he’ll always feel resentment towards two time, it’ll take a long time for him to mend things with them.

• Even without the incidents that happened, you have a very loving relationship with the both of them, even in the end when two time become demented and azure coming back to life just to be a killer, you will always have their backs even when the two of them aren’t on good terms with each other anymore, they’ll have you and they don’t mind sharing you, maybe things will slowly get better with them, hopefully, maybe someday things will go back to how they used to be.

[cherrydipp]

hi i saw the show again yesterday so heres everything i remember

ACT 1

- first off. jordan chin stood behind us for THE FIRST TWO NUMBERS. HE WAVED AND SAID HI TO US WE WERE SO HAPPY. we heard him giggle. it was like when talking ben goes idle and he just laughs

- sorry if this is out of order

- henry chet is like fricken jittery he was shaking his legs when he got excited and also was so . cool. i dont care about chet but henry chet made me pay attention

- he was staring at cherry the ENTIRE TIME. and when he got confronted by bob he shrugged and like lowkey got pushed i think by bob.

- when cherry does her tire solo while he was waiting for her to take the drinks he did like a whistle and shook his head cuz he was blown away by her beauty ong

- CHERRY STUMBLED WHEN LIKE SHE LEANS ON BOB BY THE CAR and fell into him and played it off as a hug and kwp GIGGLED

- also she slipped when she ran up to say STOP IT JUST STOP IT BOB!!! like rlly bad i thought she was gonna fall

- johnny kicked dirt at marcia at the end of the fight

- I HAVE THE PERFECT VIEW OF TRIPBIT FIGHT SCENE BRUH DONT EVEN PLAY

- im sorry i doubted u davis paul. u look so tough laying on that car

- davis paul was EYEING down dallas as he say next to cherry ong dont play. he was ready to fight

- twobit almost slipped when he jumps up on the car to say he got one of their hubcaps

- I NEVER NOTICED HOW BABY JOHNNY WAS UNTIL NOW. HE IS ACTUALLY SO ADORABLE AND I GET EMOTIONAL LOOKING AT HIM

- cole trip i could hear him say something but i forgot what he said. i could hear him wolf whistle tho like clear

- THE WAY ALEX DALLY MOCKED MARCIA WAS SO FUNNY HE HAD LIKE A BRITISH ACCENT I WAS CRYING

- dan soda really happy about that soc girl thing he dapped up johnny

- omg during drive in concession trip tried to push johnny or something and marcia IMMEDIATELY shut it down. you could hear her slap him arm away

- during icttyan ace grabs beverlys dress in the background i never noticed that before

- I LOVE THE OPENING SCENE SO MUCH. oh trip got all in twobits business lowkey during that scene

- ACE AND MELVIN WERE GETTING INTO IT DURING THE BUCK MERRIL SCENE DAMNNNNN. okay melvin i didnt know you had game like that.

- when dan soda was cleaning off pony he took the rag and like used it to cover his mouth as a joke it was so silly hehehe

- dan soda doesnt take his shirt off at all ever i didnt know that

- ALEX DALLY IS RLLY GOOD. hes much more outspoken than aramie is. like aramie was like softspoken but he has really good voice and like sounds serious when he talks.

ACT 2

- Alex dally fumbled with his lines a lot but its okay cuz he still ate.

- His voice.. omfg . u guys. he is SO. powerful. run run brother… little brother… actually had me geeked.

- dan soda was super loud during the rumble and so was trip im pretty sure… ugh angry trip i love u… just how ur supposed to be… dan soda shouted something like GET OFF ME YOU FUCKING IDIOT i think. it was him. im almost positive

- devin brill was SO aggresive trying to snatch that jacket from cherry omfg. and colr was also aggressive. i think he like jumped at her i couldnt rlly tell cuz devin was in the way but she flinched back.

- sorry i can get over cherry falling into bob that was so cute u guys dont get it ☹️☹️

- alex during little brother genuinely all of his singing had so much emotion and his acting.

- hoods turned heroes or some number. SOMETHING and i think soda jumped into darrys arms it was so cute

- oh also forgot to mention but dan soda playing around with darry during ggah and him laughing ☹️

- darry crying during the entire last few scenes actually has me so emotional. i love how he is able to show the vulnerability of being an older sibling. it’s like hes full on sobbing yet hes still trying to hide it from his baby brothers and look strong for them.

- the transition into hopeless war when dallas walks off, he said his line about snapping a socs neck RIGHT into cherrys face.

- cherry being right at the front for little brother when theyre all below actually make me so upset. her and ponyboys survivor guilt. both of them thinking they are the reason three boys died. ill never get over it. survivor guilts number 1 victims

- dan soda seemed sad to say bye to cherry when she left after giving pony the clothes.

- when twobit gets jumped and the cigarette burnt on him trip had an evil grin for a moment. why u so evil damn. did u like that.

- I GREW SUCH A LOVE FOR JOHNNY CADE DURING THIS SHOW OH MY GOODNESS. the way sky plays him is so perfect. he always looks so small just like i imagined in the books. curling his knees up and always moving and he flinches at EVERYTHING. his voice kills me everytime he is so amazing. johnny is so ☹️

- oh forgot to mention during the drive in when dallas yells at johnny his leg was anxiously shaking the entire time and he put his hands on it to make it stop.

- aces mic was turned UPPP during hoods turned heroes.

- davis growl when he said BOB didnt need to dieee had be feral. his voice is also really clear

- davis paul who was sweet and gentle when telling cherry to tell the officer who killed bob, but the second she went strictly against him he got SO mad so fast and angry. cherrypaul sibling angst thank uuu

okay thats all bye

[ragesmut069]

How I think the lads guys would react to you asking if you can peg them.

Im sorry for this one. The rafayel scenario came into my mind and then it spiraled.

Warning: MDNI, suggestive scenario, anal

Xavier

“What why”

“I mean if it would make you happy”

“Wait is it gonna hurt”

“Wait wait wait, more lube it hurts”

“Nope nope nope” (you literally only got the tip in.

For the next two days he clutches the bun plushie and looking like a scared traumatized child.

Zayne:

“Hmm The male prostate is supposedly very pleasurable. Let me ask Greyson”

Greyson texts you while he’s on the phone with him “why would you do this to me”

*I just know zayne goes to Greyson for every relationship question.*

Sylus

“Oh”

“Nice try sweetie”

Eventually I think you’d break him down and he’d trying it but start out small with only your finger or something, he would then get frustrated and then pull you away so he could stick it back into you. He liked being in control to much.

Caleb

“No”

That’s it, just no. I don’t think he’d do it. He’d do anything for you but that’s where he draws the line. He would let you eat his ass but that’s it.

Rafayel

*drops his pants and turns around revealing a butt plug already in*

“I’ve been waiting for you to ask for months”

And then all you hear is a pop sound and the butt plug rolls to your feet.

[multiheadcanons]

IM STILL ON ONE, FELLOW SPORT QUEERS. MERCS ON SKATES AND BOARDS AND SIMILAR

scout: scout is confident and versatile on all wheels, and though he doesn’t do it as often anymore, the kids not bad on ice either. but if you asked him to pick one, he would probably pick a skateboard. though inline skates are a close second! he feels there’s less work of maintaining balance, and the thinks the tricks are more impressive. he’s hell on wheels, regardless of what he picks.

soldier: soldier would eat up some quad skates. he’s working on a new trick where he rocket jumps then uses the momentum to go even faster when he hits the ground. he has succeeded a single time at this. and nobody knows this, but soldier knows his way around some skis. every once in a while he has the itch to hit the slopes, but he’s not sure if the rest of the team would want to join him. and he’s not going alone.

pyro: pyro has a pair of stilted quad skates that they use to frighten the rest of the team. they are a menace on them, and terrify the team by chasing them at breakneck speeds. if you ask pyro how they even managed to learn how to skate on those you can hear, through the gas mask, “i dunno, practice?”. pyro truly enjoys the feeling skating has on their body, they like the wind rushing past their gas mask. and they look so odd most people just let them do their thing!

demo: demo would be a hell of a racer. but demo finds most, if not all wheels are easy for him to pick up! if he personally had to pick any set of skates or a board, he would pick inline skates. he just likes the look of them more than quad skates. demo is also proficient at snowboarding and skiing; though he’ll opt for the skis if he has an option on that. he feels like he falls less on skis than he does on a snowboard. and he hates when people say “hit the slopes”. just say you’re going skiing like a normal person, don’t piss him off. can NOT ice skate. don’t let him try every time he does he is falling.

heavy: heavy would drop everything he’s doing and leave the team in the dust if he was invited to participate in the iditarod. he would go on a caloric deficit so fast to get into the best shape for that race. and every single member of the pack would make it. he has so much faith in himself. one of heavy’s few unachievable dreams is participating in the most famous dog sledding race in the world. he knows he will never be picked. that doesn’t stop him from having multiple sled dog breeders on speed dial and a bag packed.

engineer: engineer is a speed skater. the man knows he doesn’t have the longest legs in the world. but he’s got some weight on him, and he uses that to get hell’s flames underneath him. he’s one of those people that you see while you’re falling flat on your ass trying to get up a hill, or busting ass being unable to keep your feet underneath you going down the hill, and out of the corner of your eye he’s going backwards and doing fancy footwork and shit. it’ll piss you off. but if you manage to catch him, he’s happy to at least give you some basic skating lessons!

medic: the doctor cannot maintain balance on any form of wheeled skate. he can’t keep the wheels underneath him and he’s not sure how to stop, or turn himself around. he’s not going to pretend he can. however, he is fairly adept at ice skating. he’s not doing any spins or jumps, but he can pick up a good amount of speed and at the very least stay on his feet. the doctor is suited for motorsport racing, if he had to pick a set of wheels. he’s hell on the road, but he can lock in for a good race.

sniper: get this man a surfboard. immediately. place it in front of his camper. when he notices it, listen to a full grown man let out a girlish scream of the sheer excitement of having a surfboard. one could argue sniper is in his element in the water. he’s a strong swimmer, and he just looks right out there. he’ll lay out on the board in the wakes of water and sunbathe. it gives him an adrenaline rush to be on a surfboard. he did cry watching surfs up.

spy: spy is a skier and says “hit the slopes” to demo just so they can argue about it. spy loves arguing with demo. they go on ski trips and all they do is argue. you hear them as they’re flying down the hill just bitching at each other. nobody knows if they even like to be around each other. these are some of the best days of their lives. spy also has a luge team he sponsors out of the country. he would really like to try skeleton. that looks like the coolest experience in the world.

[npookie0]

This is kinda a funny crack thing that has been rotting in my brain. Can you write aita(am i the asshole) of Misaki stealing their target's partner(reader)? Please and thank you, keep up the great work!!

aita if i accidentally rizzed up my target's partner?

An aita post made by Misaki what more can I say...

I'm not using interpunction or capital letters in the "post" because Misaki hardly uses them, I'm sorry for y'all </3 also mistakes if they are there in the post (like "iw as" are intentional <3)

[hitmeuppp] via <https://r/aita_for_killers.com>

um hi??? okay so i nb20 (that's how people do it????) am an assassin or a killer for hire (don't judge me okay!!!!) and the other day i got a job y'know the usual stuff - kill someone and i'll pay you the big bucks

if you're REALLY curious i will tell you

it was some older lady who was PISSED cause a guy didn't want to sell her the company he owns so OBV as any normal person would she decided to get him killed and since i'm the best assassin on the globe *smirks* she hired me at first i didn't want to accept it cause WDYM THAT GUY HAS SOME SECURITY THAN THE FUCKING PRESIDENT???? anyway! so i tell her that i refuse and she sends me a pic of the money transfer and OH BOY it was def worth it

so yeah i get all the info on the guy and start digging on my own but in the mean time there's a new person joining a serial killer server i'm in and they're so cool????? like omg *giggles and kicks feet* like they're so mysterious and sweet?? i just want to talk to them for HOURS (im so not gay i swear!!!) and i talk with the person but it turns out that they have a partner??? i was really sad </3 like omg i thought we were meant to me and ur dating someone???

but we talk more and more and i also get more info on that target i saw him once on a date with someone very familiar (but i couldn't recognise them so i ignored it pretty much) that target is pretty boring so i will focus on the server-heartbreak-crush thing

ok so i talk to the new killer more and i'm just rahhhhhh there because they're so kissable but also taken so i can't kiss em :( BUT THEY BREAK UP WITH THE PARTNER AND SAID THAT THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOWARDS ME!!!! IW AS SO HAPPY OMG LIKE YALL DONT KNOW HOW GREAT I FELT

so yeah um the big day of the kill comes by and im on the phone with my partnerrrr *twirls hair* and i kill that guy and then i see message FROM THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SAYING THAT THEIR EX JUST GOT KILLED??????

so um...

yeah i rizzed up my target's partner????

lol imagine i make it into the tik tok videos with making slime in the back i bet ppls would think that it's fake

yeah so um that all !!!

share your thoughts or somethinggg idkkkk

[slaughterhouse_losers.mango_v.4.4.4]

<LUCA_IS_SO_COOL> [13:33] [sends url] omg @/[mc.username] dude u have to see it

<[mc.username]> [13:34] I'm scared???

<goreboy> [13:34] fuck it's So funny thanks misaki For the Content never Laughed So loud

<hitmeuppp> [13:35] LUCA EXCUSE ME??? I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY COMRADE???

<LUCA_IS_SO_COOL> [13:36] sorry dude it's too good

meow

yes

someone should make those tik tok videos with it WITHOUT AI VOICES.

have fun pookies, i'm writing a Luce x Ronin thing now <3

Love u all

Nate <3

[scene0]

hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

inspiration for bg & the poses from the empurple/bakenohana single cover art also lol!! also the drawing process video / speedpaint as well bc im sooo happy with how this turned out lollll. i was gonna make shauna's eyes have no shine to mirror mafuyu and also bc Well you know. she has lost all the light in her eyes. but it looked odd so i just made the eyeshine smaller! lol

[cameronsbabydoll]

you're the only rafe writer that i've seen with a religious reader so far so i just feel comfortable talking about this to you but i loveeeeeee thinking about rafe liking specifically catholic! or muslim!reader who is very religious and strict about her faith. rafe wants to be with her so bad but she's like “no im waiting until marriage” (in islam you can't date) so he tries to wife her up and she's like wtf i didn't mean now and rafe is just so obsessed with her and going crazy over the fact that he can't have her.

but say he's atheist or something, he's just so insanely in love with religious!reader that he reverted. at first, he converted to her religion just for her, but when reader actually introduced her religion to him he begins to connect with it and she's happy about it which makes him happy bc all he wants is her to be happy!

you know i agree with you about this! but also in a different perspective yk! i think rafe has some sort of religious guilt as well and you know how sometimes when people do bad stuff they sorta turn to religion i see rafe doing that and meeting religious!reader (any religion)

although i’m not very educated on christianity but i am jewish and i know the islam has some similarities so i always think it would be funny finding out !reader can’t eat bacon and he’s like so shocked yk!

but i’m glad you get comfortable talking about this with me!! i luv luv chatting with you all