#im just trying to say I want to understand the bible before saying shit about it. also idk i might like it

[iwantabatlleaxe]

"You don't have to listen to the bible audiobook to get your references right" no you dont understand, I do

[multifandomslxt]

NCT 127 AND PLACES THEY WOULD FUCK YOU

(just so yk this is dirty asf and inspired by my moot @neoculturecollectives)

Taeil

In the upstairs bathroom at your parents' house

And because as I've said multiple times

Mr. Moon gets shit done

HARD

DEEP

AND MF RAW

do not play in his fucking face😭😭

istg

he'll treat you like a ragdoll

tells you to strip completely

while the only thing he does is unbuckle his belt and pull his cock out

Did I mention that he would be BRICKED UP??

His aim here is actually for your parents to catch you

I am so sorry but honestly

he's fucking you against the door

100%

and if you're trying to hold back your moans???

Hard slaps on the back of our thigh

If your parents ask if everything is okay out of concern...

"Aren't you gonna answer them?"

as he POUNDS into you

and if you don't answer????

Babeeeeeee he thrusts deeper and harder

"Fucking answer them right now"

As he grips the fuck outta your jaw

HE DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK!!

Taeyong

On a High rise balcony

I said what I said

He likes to show off his pretty things

and that is exactly what you are

OMGGGGGG

If someone happened to see you both...

"Be a good girl and show them just how much you love my cock"

HE WOULD WANT YOU TO BE LOUD

And the toys he would use???

pleaseeeeeeeeee

the vibrator that he's been fucking into you for the past 3 minutes???

and you better not cum bitch

NOT WITHOUT HIS MF PERMISSION

Makes you spread your legs wide so

"Everyone can look but they will never be able to touch"

MAKES YOU SQUIRT OVER THE RAILING!!!

a stranger probably thought it was raining or something

Johnny

The dark VIP section of a very much alive nightclub.

Let's get one thing straight

YOU WILL BE ON HIS LAP!

He wouldn't try to be discreet

If you're gonna ride him

Ride him properly babe

or else he’ll take matters into his own hands

and bend you over the table and fuck you

And yk we've discussed this

He's 100% fucking a baby into you

When he cums

he's cumming hard

so hard that it actually starts to run out of you

uses his tip to push it back into you

then slaps his tip on your clit and laughs as you tremble

ALSO

YOU WILL BE GIVING HIM A BLOWJOB!!!!

as I said earlier

he will not be discreet

"The men over there a touching themselves so go ahead and give them a show sugar plum"

Yuta

In the dressing room at one of his concerts specifically 5 minutes before he has to go on

It may seem like a short time

because it is

but It's Yuta Nakamoto we're talking about

He's making it work

Fuck a condom (Ya'll better wear protection and don't play with me)

He's going in rawwwwww

I'm sorry but

no foreplay

he ain't got the time for that

the most you'll get is a slap on both your tits

and him roughly palming you

then he forces himself inside of you

one word

BEAST

THIS AIN'T ABOUT YOU!

understand that this is one of the rare times

where he doesn't care if you cum or not

once he's done

HE'S DONE!

"This pussy is mine so I'll use it how I please."

Doyoung

IN A CHURCH!!!!!!

Everyone say thank you ANDYYYY

@neoculturecollectives this is because of you (yall go look at her blog rn and you'll see what I'm talking about)

IM SO SORRY BUT...

Doyoung would fuck you in the bathroom while the sermon is going on 😭😭

He would also fuck you at the back of the bus on the way to the annual church picnic

DARE I SAYYYY

RIigth after bible study toooo

And this ain't no regular fuck

THIS IS THE P0RNST4R TYPE OF FUCKINGGGG

spit would be everywhereeee

leaving the bathroom with a white stain on your brand-new church dress...girrrlllllll

The smirk he would give you knowing he did that

and he'll do it again

The same fingers he uses to skip the pages of the Bible

are the same fingers that were inside of you a couple of minutes ago

Made you squirt all over the bathroom mirror

"We'll ask for forgiveness after but right now, this will be our dirty little secret okay?"

Jaehyun

In a crowded elevator

Jaehyun has class and etiquette I swear.

But when your ass is rubbing against his cock in a crowded elevator

He's...tempted

doesn't matter what type of bottoms you're wearing

he's finding a way to fuck you lmaooo

slow and steady because unlike Johnny

he'd try to be discreet

pretends to adjust himself but in reality

he's just trying to thrust a bit deeper without making it obvious

he cums messily babessss

his hips would start to buck

beads of sweat would be all over his forehead

would let out a low groan.

even when you get to your floor he's staying on until everybody leaves

fucks you while looking into the elevator camera

I SAID WHAT I SAID.

"Such a dirty and classless slut you are"

Jungwoo

On a hiking trail when it's most active

like animals

yall are fucking in the nearby bushes

He uses a condom

he's a good boy

but he's also fucking you on the bark of a tree

so...

don't worry though

I promise he makes it worthwhile

Loves to use his fingers

when he sees someone coming

he'll use one hand to cover your mouth

and the other to finger the daylights outta you babeeeeee

USES HIS LEG TO MAKE SURE BOTH OF YOURS STAY OPEN

note: he doesn't care if you came 100 times

you are doing that shit again

also

DOGGY STYLE!!!!

like actual animals

"Just one more time. Come on baby show me how far you can go."

Mark

In the practice room while he's on a 10-minute break

First of all

Baby is frustrated as hell

and also in a rush

Trust me when I say

HE'S PUTTING THOSE BIG ASS MIRRORS TO USE!!

oh hell yessssssss

yall got ten minutes

and he turns you into a damn gymnast

There is a s3x position called

"Seashell"

OH YESSSS

and you better look in that damn mirror

omgggg

makes you watch through the mirror

as his cock slowly sinks into you

in reverse cowgirl position

in less than ten minutes

he makes you squirt all over the mirror

and cums in your panties and tells you to put them back on.

"Don't you fucking dare take your eyes off that mirror"

"Even if my cum is dripping down your legs don't take those panties off "

Haechan

In a supply closet LITERALLY ANYWHERE

A classic hookup place

but when I say ANYWHERE

I mean it could be a Walmart, a school

a church

An office

bitch it doesn't matter

as long as a supply closet is there

he's ready

ALWAYS does it raw (Again, please be smart yall use protection)

Even when he's not in a rush

he fucks like he is

rough

and extremely harsh with his words😭😭

Gets carried away sometimes

and overstimulates you

yall started out standing

but he will fuck you to YOUR KNEES!

don't play with him

Makes sure you're okay when he's finished

and he's ALWAYS the first to walk out of that closet

with a smirk on his face and your panties hanging out of his picket

No, he wouldn't try to be discreet.

"Such a need whore. Practically begging for my cock"

"Aw, are you crying because it's too much? Stupid Slut"

[film-in-my-soul]

another regular appointment | 906 | softestpunk / @softest-punk

Summary: The bricks of The New Inn, slick with rain, bite into Dream’s back even through the insulating layer of his coat, but any momentary shock of pain is instantly swallowed up by the warm sanctuary of an eager mouth. It is unprofessional, of course, making repeat visits to the dreams of a particular dreamer without proper cause.

Recompense | 1,445 | Lilibet

Summary: In hindsight, pressing the King of Dreams, an endlessly immortal being of unfathomable power, against the wall of The New Inn is probably not one of Hob’s best ideas.

verdant, fertile, and blooming | 1,893 | softestpunk / @softest-punk

Summary: The Dreaming enjoys Hob's visits very much—to Dream's increasing distress.

lonesome nights are over | 1,934 | thewalrus_said / @thewalrus-said

Summary: Hob's restraint broke at the one-year mark, six months since the start of their odd, circumstantial friendship. "Tell me truly, Dream, have you ever paid for a drink in your life?" Dream blinked, looking down at his half-empty glass. "What?" he asked, a rare loss of words from him. "Every month, someone pays for your drink for you, and you've never taken them up on it," Hob said. "Were you really not interested in any of them?" "Interested?" Dream's brow furrowed, like he was trying to understand and couldn't. "Interested in what?"

let me in before the rainy season starts again | 2,633 | tiltingheartand / @tiltingheartand

Summary: “Oh shit,” he says, eyes wide. And then, “oh fuck,” as he’s scooting backwards as quick as he can, “sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” because what else can you say when you realize, oh, that’s not just a version of your friend that your brain conjured up, that’s your actual friend, the anthropomorphic personification of dreams, in your actual dream. The dream where you’re naked and waiting for him to come be naked with you.

Please see below for more recommendations!

all i want is to be a bit warm for you | 7,848 | im_not_corrupted / @im-not-corrupted

Summary: Upon escaping Fawney Rig, the King of Dreams does not feel anything. His skin is numb to feeling. Desperate to feel something other than the cold that became a constant companion since he was so cruelly caged, he makes himself bleed. Still, he doesn’t feel it. During one of their weekly meetings, Hob notices. And he watches as it becomes a pattern. Concerned, he inevitably brings it up, only to learn more about where his friend had been in their century apart than he expected.

How Adam Loved Eve | 9,761 | Moorishflower / @moorishflower

Summary: It's said in the Bible that when the Lord took the rib from Adam and used it to craft Eve, there upon her breast, where the rib rested beneath her skin, was Adam's name writ in the old language of angels and higher powers. Hob wonders, sometimes, if Adam bore Eve's name somewhere upon his person, or if she spent the rest of her life wondering if God had chained a man to her that would never love her back. Everyone is born with the name of their soulmate as a mark on their palm. Hob Gadling is born with a thousand titles in looping scrawl on his arm and a name on his palm that no one can see but him.

Real People | 9,781 | spqr / @andthepeople

Summary: Desire’s blood red lips curl into a smile so knowing and devious that Dream’s heart drops into his stomach. “I know,” they say, nearly purring. “As an apology, dear brother, I’ll give you the one thing you want most in the universe. The thing you don’t even know you’re yearning for.”

À Cœur Vaillant | 10,156 | WyvernQuill / @wyvernquill

Summary: The young man turned, and asked, determination and cowardice both flickering in his eyes, “Professor, do you think it’s wicked to help the devil?” For a moment, Hob thought - and tried to not let his mind dwell overly long on an entity he had long thought demonic. Is it wicked to help the devil? Less than to love one, surely.

What Manner Of Creature | 13,727 | Myrocongridae (Anguilliformes)

Summary: Hob's had a number of theories about his strange friend over the years. They are all, of course, completely incorrect.

Terms of Endearment | 13,871 | BeholdingTheGaytimes / @beholdingthegaytimes

Summary: It’s been somewhere between two or three months, he reckons, since Hob started consistently having domestic dreams about a man he hasn’t seen in about a hundred and thirty years. It’s only a bit mortifying. Dreams and the subconscious are odd, and he’s not going to start judging himself now for any wanton desires.

Hope and Stubbornness Endure | 14,028 | icarus_chained

Summary: There are consequences to being caught in nightmares not your own, in the tormented memories of beings infinitely more powerful than you. Hob Gadling doesn't care. Nightmares can't kill him. And if this was ever real, he has no choice but to try and fight it now. To show ... to show his friend that he would have rescued him. If he'd known. He would have tried, no matter what it cost.

I have lately learned the difference | 18,085 | Chthonion / @chthonion

Summary: While Dream is imprisoned, Hob dreams of prisons, until, one by one, all of them take the same shape: a glass cage. Hob doesn't realize why until he meets Dream again, and the dreams don’t stop afterward.

In the Arms of Morpheus | 18,473 | Kavute / @mashumaru

Summary: In the year 1916 the sleepy sickness struck the world. Over the years millions of people were affected with no real cure or known cause. Hob Gadling, currently known as Robert Gadlen, a respected neuroscientist, uses his time to try to solve the mystery of sleepy sickness and missing dreams. When the old familiar Stranger returns to his life, Hob's understanding of the world shifts once more.

Get Lonely | 19,058 | Moorishflower / @moorishflower

Summary: It has been four months and two weeks since Orpheus died. Struggling to come to terms with his role in the death of his son, newly-divorced ghostwriter Dream Murphy finds solace in an ASMR YouTube channel run by a kind, faceless man. When he starts to feel more than gratitude for the man to whom he credits his recovery, he must make the difficult choice between standing sentinel over his son's memory, or moving forward with his life.

string of pearls (by fate's design) | 21,642 | youcanseethecosmos / @youcanseethecosmos

Summary: He knew of Roderick Burgess. Every man, woman, child, and dog has heard of The Great Collector and his labyrinth of mythical creatures. Hob had never been rich enough to get invited to the shows and parties Burgess would throw at his mansion. Nor was he ever sneaky enough to attempt pretending he was a nobleman. But Hob knew what happened at those parties by observing others. Listening in on drunken rambles of the aristocracy who enter The White Horse to escape their totally miserable lavish lives. What a bunch of cunts they are. But again… a job is a job.

Master Reclist · Personal Masterlist · Blog Nav.

[soildmud]

reading inky mystery

good morning y’all, it is currently 3AM right now and i have developed some very strong opinions about inky mystery that i need to projectile vomit onto the internet. this is gonna be like a book review so i have some disclaimers/warnings:

#1: this “review” is not intended for the author, TAP, or anyone directly involved with the writing of IM. this is readers-only!

#3: i will most likely say very few positive things about the fic so if you don’t want to see negative remarks about your fav fic/story, maybe don’t read this. and also if you can’t handle strong language.

#4: i have not read all of IM, and there is a reason why. i will explain later on but i don’t need anyone to try and avoid spoilers. i don’t care for this fic enough to worry about that. talk to your heart’s content, i want to hear what y’all have to say!!!!

#5: i still enjoy inky mystery and its concepts and the overall story ideas. i think it’s fun and a cool spin on the original qftim au (an au that had so much potential and such shitty execution) and love how the fic has created an entire community around it! don’t get this twisted, i got nothing against IM or TAP.

now i’m gonna put the “review” (more like a rant) under a cut so as to not take up space on people’s dashes more than i already have lol—have fun!!

with such an interesting and promising premise, inky mystery has so far been a frustrating disappointment. i started reading it a while ago (had to stop because of school) and picked up again last night, hoping to get further into the fic and reach the parts that seem to be much more compelling than the exposition. i’m only on chapter 20 and already want to just stop reading it altogether. the more i progress through this the more i think to myself, “is this fic even worth reading 2.5 million words and 335 chapters?” as i’ve come to the beginning of chapter 21, i’m starting to think it most definitely is not.

obviously the biggest criticism is the length. there is absolutely no reason for why this fic is like 3 times longer than the fucking BIBLE. twelve “books” for what? to leave us in the same spot of the plot for the fifth time in a row when the conflict could have been resolved in almost half a chapter? the over-explanation of everything and the placement of practically useless dialogue is excruciating. i don’t understand how having chapter long bits of the warner shenanigans was necessary; i get it was meant for comedy but i don’t think they should dragged any longer than like a paragraph. their dialogue gets old incredibly fast, and it’s just a hinder to the fic’s flow. and before anyone says anything—I HAVE WATCHED ANIMANIACS BEFORE. in fact, i used to be obsessed with them and watched every episode until it stopped airing in 2014. i know they’re supposed to be the way they are in the fic but Holy SHIT DUDE. SHUT THEM THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

listen. i know this was originally written in 2017, but if you’re still updating this into 2024, at this point you need to remake the whole fic and shorten it. the way the author is updating the fic with basically filler makes me feel like they care more about creating content for their readers rather than actually writing a coherent narrative. you don’t need to take down the OG fic but there has got to be a way to shorten it so it doesn’t take literally a week straight to finish the fic in one sitting.

anyways. apart from that, i need to say that the writing style is so juvenile in a way that feels aggravating. i read the most recent chapter to see if anything changed and while it certainly improved in small ways, i feel like TAP still hasn’t learned how to not make sentences like four words long and dialogue sequences that don’t make up half the chapter. i also feel like the narrative is just…holding the readers hand and explaining every little thing like they expect the reader not to have any media literacy at all. i don’t need to know explicitly that boris and bendy are tired from walking for hours, i knew that from your narration mentioning their legs aching and them getting mucky from clambering in the forest.

next, i hate the random inclusion of unnecessary characters. the way the two detectives seem to only show up when it’s convenient and how the warners were used basically like a deus ex machina is frustrating. don’t introduce so many characters with so much detail and then have them show up like twice. i don’t know how to explain this because it’s almost 4AM now and my brain is foggy but god. when those two fox characters were randomly introduced at the end of idk what chapter to have a completely useless conversation with the detectives i felt so annoyed. i don’t know if they have any real significance later on in the story (and i don’t mean that they show up to say hi later) and honestly i cannot be bothered to find out if they do, but if they don’t, that entire section of the chapter was fucking stupid. let your MAIN CHARACTERS learn information from other sources for the love of god.

in the end, i don’t know if i’ll ever finish Inky Mystery, at least not anytime soon. i had fun at the start and now i’m just annoyed and frustrated. also, to the wiki people, PLEASE MAKE CHAPTER SUMMARIES AND SHIT—IT WOULD BE A DREAM FOR THOSE OF US WHO DON’T WANT TO SIT THROUGH 2.5 MILLION WORDS FOR PLOT AND STORY!!!!

also, i am not claiming to be a better writer or have superior knowledge to TAP. i think TAP is good at writing, but has some flaws that really limit their full potential. i myself am an amateur writer with no training or anything, but i am a reader, so that’s why i’m yapping.

ALSO ALSO, i am not doing this to shit on TAP or IM or anyone who likes this story and everything. like i said, i actually like IM and really want to get into it so i can make fanart and everything, but it has been a struggle and i want to voice that because this is my blog and i use it like a virtual diary. i will continue to skim and push through IM, and will most definitely use it as a learning tool for my own au, SITP.

again, this review was made with zero malice in mind. however if anyone wants to say anything i’m 100% open to conversation, and if this reaches TAP’s screen somehow, please know i’m not trying to be a hater!!! i love your ideas and the community you’ve created, promise!!!! i’m done now cus i’m tired and need to sleep so bye to anybody who read through this beast of a post lol plus i don’t have the energy to write all i wanted to say. sorry if there’s any mistakes i’m falling asleep as i write LMAO

bye!!!!!!

[angelkissiies]

Hold on to me

Nancy Wheeler x Reader

CW/TW : talk of sexual assault, talk of abortion, mental health, cursing, fear, anxiety, violence (mentioned).

word count : 1772

authors note : this work may be triggering for some, it does not hurt my feelings if you unfollow or choose not to read. i love you and i hope those who do read this enjoy/relate to this. this is an abortion related fic, brought on as a way for me to express my feelings about roe v wade being overturned.

The air felt like hot coals sliding down your throat as you stared at the test in front of you. It was positive, there was no mistaking it. The revolution felt more violating than the conception, it had only been two weeks since the incident and now here you stood- two weeks pregnant with an assaulters baby.

“Oh fuck.” You choked out, body trembling under the stress. There was a life growing within you, one that made you gag at the very thought. What were you supposed to do? To think of having to raise the kid for 18 years, to see the face of the man that hurt you every single day made you want to throw up.

You stumbled out of the bathroom, heading directly to the landline. There was only one person you could call, one person who’d care. Your fingers trembled as you dialed the number, the line ringing as you waited an answer.

“Hello?”

You let out a deep sigh, the weight on your chest disappearing. “Hey.” Nancy was always good at answering the phone, even when Mike clogged up the lines.

“(Y/n)? What’s up?” She greeted, her chipper tone conveying through the phone. It was unusual to get Nancy in a bad mood, it was possible but pretty unlikely.

The words escaped you as you opened and closed your mouth like a fish out of water. Saying the whole situation out loud, and to someone else, made it feel much more real. If you didn’t tell her now, you could try to forget about it another day. Live just a little longer without those consequences.

“Hello? (Y/n)?”

“Yeah, yeah. Im still here.” You spouted, swallowing hard as you took a deep breath in. “Nancy, could you come over? If you’re not busy, of course.” You couldn’t bring yourself to tell her like this, the whole incident could warp your relationship with her forever. It was no secret, you liked Nancy. More than anything in the world, and this could really.. change things.

There was a silence at the end of the line, brief but definitely silent before she answered. “Oh yeah, sure. I can be there in..” She trailed off, probably to look at a nearby clock. “Let’s say 15 minutes.”

You felt your heart skip a beat, this really was happening- wasn’t it? “That sounds great, Nance. The door should be unlocked so just come up.” You moved a hand to rest on your abdomen, the sight making you feel ill. “I’ll see you soon, okay? Be safe.”

“I will, I’ll be over soon.” With that, she hung up.

The phone clicked back onto the base, cord curling around as you pushed it back into its crevice. There was nothing more to do now than wait. You just couldn’t seem to understand, of course you knew how this happened. It was a hard thing to try to forget. With it only being two weeks since, it felt very fresh emotionally. But that wasn’t your confusion, as you settled into the think pillows that rested on the head of the bed the only word that came to mind was ‘why?’

Why did this happen? To you of all people? It’s not as if you’d wish this on anyone but God it felt so cruel. Was this some kind of punishment for the feelings you’d been having? Being a homosexual was looked down upon, they even say it’s a sin in the Bible- but how can that be helped? How could you stop feeling the butterflies in your stomach when Nancy held you close. God, how could anyone? She was perfect. Even if being a homosexual was a sin, that would never warrant this. And if it did, God is a piece of shit.

The world was cruel, it wasn’t made for people like you. You were kind and genuine, you cared more about people you barely knew than you did about yourself. You’d dedicated years of your life to helping the poor, the sick, the needy. It all meant nothing, at least that’s how it feels. The sun shined through the window and plastered itself on the floral wallpaper that covered the entire room, creating a baby pink sheen of light haloing around the room. It almost made you feel better, it better meant you had stopped wanting to vomit.

A small knock was heard at the bedroom door before it creaked open to reveal Nancy, she was testing the waters as she entered. Eyes scanning the room for any indication of what was going on. “Hey, I let myself in like you said.” She hummed, closing the door behind her with a soft ‘click.’

“Thank you for coming, I really appreciate it.” You admitted, hands twiddling as you thought of ways to break the news to her. It wasn’t as if you wanted this or this was consensual. It was thrust upon you and now you just had to figure out what to do.

Her soft eyes met your own, leveling with you as she sat on the edge of the bed. Her baby skirt crinkled at the edge as she scooted in. “What’s going on, (Y/n)? It sounded urgent.” Her voice carried lightly, causing you to wince involuntarily.

The truth was bitter, but even bitter things must go down. “Nance, I’m pregnant.”

Nancy’s mouth fell into an ‘o’ as she took in those words, eyes reflecting what seemed like disappointment. “Wait, what? Are you sure? Who’s the father?” No, it wasn’t disappointment. It was worry.

“I’m very sure and the father.. it’s a long story.” You pushed the subject off, it wasn’t that relevant- right? “The test is still in the bathroom, it’s a very clear positive.”

The brunette squinted slightly at you, “(Y/n), what aren’t you telling me? Who’s baby is it?” Her voice became more stern, not stern as in drill Sargent but stern as in ‘tell me or so help me god I’ll figure it out myself.’

Your throat went dry, hands beginning to sweat. Images of the man who violated you that night flashed through your head, the feelings arose as if a wildfire had ignited in your chest. “It’s really…I don’t know how to explain this but I don’t know really who he is.” You began, “But it’s not the way you think. I didn’t just sleep with some random guy. I went to that party, you know the one that Joe threw?”

Nancy nodded, listening intently as you recited the story you had been dreading bringing to light.

“Well yeah, I had probably too many drinks. Steve and I played beer pong, then we raced each other at shots. But then, some guy started creeping on me. He was making me.. really uncomfortable. So, I went upstairs to freshen up.” Your stomach churned, the contents becoming dangerously close to your throat. “He followed me, and while I was fixing my skirt- he.. he did things..”

The silence was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Nancy, I… I tried to stop him. I tried to fight back. He was just relentless and so aggressive.” The tears came before you could even comprehend it, salty streams of regret from all the times you’d told yourself not to drink anymore. Every shot, every cup of beer. The taste of alcohol was the taste of rape now.

The girl had hopper across the bed to where you sat, arms wrapping around your frame. She pulled you into her chest, rocking you gently. “It’s okay, this wasn’t your fault. God, I’m so sorry.” Her voice cracked and she squeezed tighter, terrified to let go.

“I don’t know what to do, I can’t raise a baby. Let alone his baby. If I want to give it up for adoption, I have to carry it to term. Everyone will know what happened.” You gushed in a fit of panic, breaths coming out faster and faster as the moments passed.

Nancy pulled away to look into your eyes, holding you gaze. “Look at me, okay? Breathe. I will take care of you, honey. You have options.” She gently wiped the tears from your face, caressing you with the utmost care.

You nodded, trusting her. It was the most you could do. She seemed to know more than you could about this, which seemed impossible but you didn’t question it. “What options? I can keep it or I can give it up. I’m going to have to go through this pregnancy one way or another.” You pulled your knees up to your chin, refusing to even look at your abdomen.

“Well, actually, you have one more option. You can get an abortion. They can remove the whole fetus and you won’t have to go through all of that.” Her words felt like the final bell, the saving grace. Though, you didn’t fully understand.

You’d heard about abortion in passing but you never fully understood. “Isn’t that killing it? Fetuses can’t live outside of the womb.”

She nodded, “Yes. It will kill it. It’s not really a baby yet, so really all you’re doing is getting a sack of cells removed from your uterus. I know many lady’s who have had this done.” It was up in the air and to be honest, it was the best idea you’d heard in a long time.

“Does anyone have to know? Ever?” You shifted slightly, glancing around the room as if someone was peering in.

Nancy shook her head, hands moving to hold onto your own. “Your medical information in private and I would never tell a soul.”

Though, you knew this would weigh on your conscience- there was no other way. You were so young, you body wasn’t fit for this yet. This is what was best for you and the fetus. It’s life wouldn’t have been good, especially with a mother who could barely look at it without getting ill. You didn’t want to have a child, God, you were a child.

“Okay. I want to do it.”

The girls eyes softened, giving your hand a squeeze. “Are you sure you want to do this?” If there was one thing you loved about Nancy, it was the way she never judged you. No matter the circumstances, she never passed judgement on your choices, you really needed that. “I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

For once since the incident happened, there seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel. With Nancy’s help, everything would be okay. Her love exceeded the hate that was implanted within you.

[hoshi9zoe]

hi,

(if you dont wanna read all this thats fair in that case i just hope you have a good day)

i dont know you and i dont wanna bother you, but i saw your reblog of the post about being scared of trans women, and i just wanted to say that its not always gonna be like that. im younger than you and i dont wanna be lecturing a person with more experience than i have, but reading what you wrote made me concerned. at the same time it is exactly what goes through my head sometimes.

i know i cant fully understand your struggles, because im trans in the other direction, but im starting to think its unfortunately true for all the people who are seen as something theyre not - right now we really have to accept there are our kinds of people and we cant change the rest. you absolutely deserve a better world in which people dont see you as dangerous just because you exist but in the meantime you need to remember your whole life isnt defined only by the people who hate you or are scared of you. it still absolutely sucks that people are intimidated by you just existing, and it shouldnt be like this and i can only imagine how lonely it could make someone feel. none of it is fair, but you can and should try to be happy anyways.

i try to think about it like we got the short end of the stick, but that doesnt mean we should break it and throw it away. it really is shit but (as cheesy as it sounds) we only get one chance at living, and as much as itd be understandable to do so, we cant spend it thinking about how unfair it is.

remember that there will be people who will see you as a person and not as a danger. it might feel like theres few of them, or they dont exist, but they do, and hopefully you get to spend more time with them than you ever will have to spend with the people who are transphobic.

i personally still cant accept it but its the advice a friend of mine gave me (though it was in the context of me being autistic) and i do think its smart even if not groundbreaking. i have trouble applying it to myself, so i might be hypocritical and/or projecting, i apologise for that. still i wanted to share it because i dont think theres any better option for us. im really sorry you feel that way and i hope we both get better at focusing on the people who can see us as people

ps well this is bible length im sorry and also sorry if its rude? i really didnt want to come off as condescending or like i was assuming you dont know any of this so i hope i at least managed that (and i sincerely apologise for my punctuation. )

I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that because of my depressive ass comments on a post people are trying to comfort me and cheer me up. I've done nothing to deserve this kindness and while I think that this kindness and your time is wasted on me, i'm grateful non the less. don't worry about coming across as lecturing me. you're just sharing your thoughts and feelings on that matter and I don't mind. even tho i may be older than you, I absolutely do not have more experience than others. less even probably... and I did not want to make you or anyone else concerned about me. as i said that's absolutely wasted on me. it's just me trying to somehow vent my depression so that I don't do something more harmful. it is just irrevocably true that trans women that are not thin, white, effeminate, with clear skin and no body hair will be seen as dangerous and intimidating by afab people and especially cis women. But i'm grateful that you with for a better world where that isn't happening. It's admirable. And I don't want to spoil your positive message but it's gonna be hard to keep my depression about that in check and I wanna apologize in advance for probably still being very negative about that. You are correct that my life isn't defined by those that are scared of me, but they still can affect it in a profound way even if I try to ignore them. And yes it is incredibly lonely, but I've already been lonely before I came out so there's not much of a difference. Just maybe a new flavor.

I'm just gonna skip the next paragraph with the short end of the stick so that I don't let my depression speak my mind and just rip all of that to shreds. You've got a nice mentality there and I don't wanna take that from you especially since you went out of your way to try and cheer me up. I know there are people that aren't scared. I'd like to meet some one day. But all deprecating jokes aside, I will always get reminded of it when I see how the trans community and especially trans women have their own separate isolated corner from the wider LGBTQ+ community. I'm not faulting you for struggling to apply the advice your give yourself. I really know a thing or twenty about that... Realistically I know that it's not as bad as my insecurities, depression, anxieties ect make it out to be. But acting on that; confronting your fears is exponentially harder. Especially if you have to do it alone because you're shit at meeting new people and making friends and very good at driving existing ones away. And please don't worry about grammar or punctuation or all that jazz. School makes a way bigger deal out of it than I feel is should be on the internet in casual situations. It's your intent and your feelings that matter not punctuation ^^'

[everything-i-couldnt-tell-u]

my mom still doesnt get that her forcing me to believe in god rn is making shit worse. i told her that the problems is her forcing me all the time to pray and become religious when in fact it just reminds me of before and is triggering me. she wont fucking understand that ill deal with religion once ive finished fixing my shit up. yk what she said to me? she said she's not gonna stop forcing me to become a christian cause she firmly believes its the only way to fix me. see? shes so closed minded and then expects me to become better. why not try listening to my reason that her forcing me to become religious just fucks me up even more? like bro ill be a christian when i want to but not now okay? cant she fucking understand that?

she kept forcing me to tell her what i hate sm about her cause she wants to be a better mom, and when i finally said its because of her forcing me to be religious, she says right into my face without any intentions of listening to my reasons that she wont stop it. she said shes gonna stop for a while, but once im mentally stable after therapy, she's gonna force me again. i cant with her anymore. i bet shes gonna go crying and controlling me if ever i become an atheist or maybe a different religion cause shes so obsessed with me getting saved and for me to go to heaven cause she loves me.

and you wanna know whats worse? i cant leave this house til i get a job cause i dont wanna starve either and i dont know a single shit on how to live and feed myself. i cant even cross the streets or buy things by myself cause she has always been gatekeeping me.

and then earlier she vents right into my face again that she's sorry she couldnt raise me like a great mom would. shes sorry that she couldnt support me. shes sorry cause she said her parents didnt give her any of those too. now im guilt tripped again and im supposed to feel sorry for her and understand her again? im supposed to suck it up one more time and get traumatized even further cause my parents are mentally unstable? am i supposed to pretend to do what she wants again just so i can escape from her nagging all the time? like she wont stop unless i do what she wants. but i cant leave this house either cause how the hell am i gonna eat? where am i gonna sleep?

she said shes gonna give me a link to a therapist that she might give me to, but at this state?? i dont actually know... my dads already closed himself off from us and theyre fighting bc of money again. its impossible that my dad would even be giving us something to pay for my therapy, so im not gonna get my hopes up.

and also whenever my mom argues with my dad, she doesnt shut up about god either. i kinda understand my dad why he just shuts himself off cause my mom's too close minded. my dads got issues too, like alot. but my moms just not someone you should really be arguing with cause she doesnt really stop talking about god.

when i tried confronting her that she's the problem and that her not shutting up about god was the thing making me feel worse, she said i was disrespecting god. see? i hate it so much honestly.

i dont wanna hear anymore of her and i dont want her trying to help me with this. its not helping i swear, but she insists and never gets tired of forcing god to me. i already told her im not ready to deal with that and asked her to stop. she said she'd temporarily stop and i hate it. she has no plans of stopping it.

im really just so sick of me being the bad example every bible study they do. im sick of them telling me my life was fucked up cause i never prayed. im sick of them. and i dont wanna hear anything about the bible anymore til ive recovered cause it just reminds me every time that my family sees me as some kind of demon. they see my rage as a symbol that the devil has control of me. its so fucking annoying. it was originally grief that i couldnt let out cause my mom shuts me up every time i break down. she forced me to suck up and not cry, so i ended up turning my sadness into this uncontrollable rage. this rage of mine was built up and was in me for years BECAUSE OF HER. AND NOW SHE TELLS ME THAT IF I DONT LET GO OF THAT RAGE IT WILL RUIN ME? WHO THE FUCK WAS THE REASON I GOT THIS RAGE HUH?

she said shes aware she was a bad parent before but shes asking for a second chance. she said i shouldnt shut myself off from her just because of what happened. actually she said she'd understand it that ill never forgive her, but it would be alot better for both of us if i wouldnt be so scared of fixing this with her...

that actually made me kinda regret what i did to you. yeah i was hurt a lot but by cutting you off from my life just made me more miserable, which wouldnt have happened if i tried fixing it with you. if i didnt shut you off and gave you a chance to fix it, then i wouldnt be drowning in my own sadness. im sorry if this is annoying cause i always dont know how to deal with my problems. im sorry if im still so conflicted right now and asking if i can come back to you when youve already let go and ive already hurt you by saying that im leaving. im really sorry for asking this but if you'd ever read this i wish i can come back. i wont forget that youve hurt me and broke my trust, but mistakes happen. i shouldnt be too sensitive and closing myself every time something happens. i know its too late but if it would really be fine if i come back...

[somethingaboutmint]

I just finished honest hearts for the first time and i really did not like Joshua. I was pretty stoked to finally meet him because of all the legion fear mongering of ""the burned man"" but he ended up being a profoundly weird and kind of unlikable character. I feel like the game is trying really hard to portray him as good/sympathetic which i just...can't see? Ignoring my own moral stances on mormons and missionary work, Joshua feels like a really hypocritical selfish man that keeps failing to learn anything from the tragedies that happen in his life.

When you speak to him about the legion he says that he just "got caught up in it all" and that ceasar kept asking him to do more and more henious acts as if he was some sort of prisoner to ceasar with no choice and not literally the co-founder of the legion. He STARTED the legion, if he was so morally against it why didn't he just bail out? I get that ceasar eventually gains enough power that the possibility of deserting becomes very dangerous, but he has plenty of time to leave in the beggining? The game mentions numerous times that Joshua wasn't just a normal legionary, but a merciless, unkillable, ruthless murder machine. Who am i supposed to believe here? I feel like if he really felt as bad as he did about all the evil shit the legion was doing then he probably wouldn't have that kind of reputation following him.

Then he gets deep fried at the canyon and goes back to his own community that accepts him back as if nothing happened (thanks, christianity). I'd be willing to accept that getting your entire body roasted and tossed down a literal canyon (and the chronic pain that will follow him forever) would probably be punishment enough for his numerous war crimes but like. Thats it? Not even a slap on the wrist from his former family? The family that he abbandoned and whose ideology he directly opposed by smiting the tribes they were trying to """help""" (again, mormon missionary work cringe)?????? And then hes all like "i know god has forgiven me for my sins and im fine with that" like???? I am familliar with the christian concept of gods forgivness, but Josh wasn't "lost in sin" as in like, he indulged himself in one of the main sins or was a general asshole, he killed people! He participated in the slavery and extermination of many tribes/cultures! And the only reason he stopped doing that is because after 30 fucking years, which i had to google by the way, ceasar, a known motherfucker and absolute lunatic, finally turned on HIM. For 30 fucking years the evils of the legion were nothing more than a "hm. This is kind of evil. Oh well!" thought to Joshua and ONLY when he suffered under it he finally realized that oh shit, the legion is evil. Literally no empathy or ability of critical thought is present in this man UNTIL he is the one affected. Is the power of christianity really so strong that literally none of the new caananites looked at this pathetic wet toilet paper roll of a man and were even a LITTLE bothered by what he did?

And like, at this point, im a bit skeptical but i try to rationalize it. I think to myself well, atleast he's trying to do better now. I guess forgivness and growth is what his main character motive is supposed to be. Except no, it's not, because 3 seconds later he runs across the entire map to the sorrows camp purely so he can quote the bible at me and ask me to EXTERMINATE A WHOLE TRIBE. Now, i understand his animosity towards the white legs. The white legs are fucking assholes. I finished lonesome road before honest hearts so i was already fully aware of what assholes they were. HOWEVER. LET US NOT FORGET. The reason the white legs are assholes is because they desperately want to sit with ceasar at the cool lunch table. To do that, they were ordered to kill the new caananites specifically to hurt Joshua because Ceasar knew he was alive. So, the reason the white legs are the agressive assholes that they are is almost purely because of the legion. WHICH JOSHUA CO-FOUNDED. It's almost beautifully ironic in a way that his deeds came back to haunt him. "I didn't know they would exterminate and enslave MY tribe!" Says man who voted for the "exterminating and enslaving the mojave tribes" faction. And still, Joshua learns absolutely fucking nothing from this.

I actually decided to side with joshua instead of daniel. It was for a multitude of reasons, including thinking the dlc was just gonna end if i side with daniel for whatever reason, but i kind of hoped and prayed there was a way to STILL resolve the whole thing peacefully and to talk him out of murdering them all. I was not happy about having to side with Joshua. While Daniel's plan was also potentially stupid and awful, the least Daniel did was respect the tribes' traditions and pacifistic ways. He did not want to turn the sorrows and dead horses into murderers because he thought another option (leaving zion) was available. Joshua wanting to defend the tribes' land was the one selling point on him that had me going "oh shit, maybe i misjudged this guy!" but i didn't. Talk to him for 3 seconds and its so painfully obvious that his motivations for killing the white legs is not "protect the dead horses and sorrows" but his own personal revenge for the slaughter of the new caananites. Which like, fine, understandable, but it just pissed me off so bad because he learned NOTHING from his years as a reformed war criminal. He talks so much about being changed and finding himself again after years of living in sin and the imidiate first thing he does is indulge in exterminating a tribe for his own selfish revenge reasons."I dont enjoy killing, but when done rightously, it is a job like any other" yeah, okay Joshua. Talk to me when you're not legging it down a cliff to shove a .45 down some poor bastards throat from halfway across the map because he looked at you funny. The way he acts as a temporary companion also contributes to my point here - refuses to do shit for you, does not listen, and eventually abandons you after like 15 minutes to go on his own because you're not killing the white legs fast enough. Unfortunately, i think the way he refuses to do shit for you is funny, so this is a point in his favour.

The one part that actually had me sympathizing with him was his speech upon being asked to spare salt-upon-wounds. I happen to like playing new vegas the "bullshit my way out of situations" way so thank god my speech was maxxed out, because if it wasn't, my dislike of joshua would be immesurable. The specific part when he says "i wanted to make my anger gods anger. To justify the things i've done" had me stunned because holy shit, you finally get it buddy! You finally understand that you were not a reformed man, you were still the same selfish bastard you were when in the legion! And i'm very glad this specific ending reflects that. However, if you dont have an ungodly high speech skill, you cannot spare salt-upon-wounds and Joshuas endings fucking suck. Especially the one in which he is the one to kill salt, he just starts another mini ceasars legion, having learned absolutely nothing in life.

Overall, i do think Joshua is an interesting character, somewhat. I enjoy his backstory a lot as some sort of boogeyman villiam and i do think the fact that hes complex enough to piss me off the way he does is a good thing. I think the narrative kinda fails him because it desperately tries to paint him as a redeemed good guy (seriously, why is joshua the only "companion" with good karma? If anything, he makes the most sense as a neutral karma character) instead of just a dude you can form your own opinion on.

[tendous-socks]

TOKYO REVENGERS HEADCANONS OF ME BEING NON BINARY / REACTING TO SOMEONE BEING NON BINARY

tw: ⚠️⚠️kisaki⚠️⚠️ and manga spoilers, mentions of death, transphobia,

would misgender and dead-name me

1.kisaki.

must i need an explanation?😐

2. shion

“ what’re you gonna do about it?? HUH?? WHAT’RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT ???”

actively looks for a fight

… if y’all are in a relationship he’d still call you his “girl” but beats people up for doing so….

3. mucho

i get the vibes that he’s traditional

would silently stare in judgment

4. mochi

he just doesn’t care clslfkxkslk

thinks it’s weird

“ nor/mal”

7. rindou..

“you either have a pen or a vag. “

8.ran

“interesting”

*continues dead naming me*

9. KOKO

he would be nicer about it when he’s in toman due to inui… but once they’re separated- an ABSOLUTE MEANCE

… reluctantly apart of the protection squad with inui ( enjoys beating people up tho)

10. bontent mikey

… he’s just so tired and doesn’t really care ) that is if you’re not close with him… but then again how close can you really get?)

11. ) PAH CHIN

AND ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS IGNORANT AND HIS FATHER DIDN BELIEVE IN THAT STUFF AND HE DIDNT KNOW BUT THEN ( if y’all are close ) HE’D FEEL BAD AND AFTER YOU EXPLAINED IT TO HIM HE TOLD PEH CHIN TOO AND WERE SURPRISINGLY SUPPORTIVE

but if y’all ain’t close he would slowly get the hint… this is canon.

because i said so-

11. sanzu…

he’s quietly judging you

EDIT

SOMEONE SAID SANZU WOULD USE ANY PRONOUNS AND I REALLY LIKE THAT HC-

SO SANZU WOULD PROBABLY JUST ‘ SILENTLY JUDGE YOU’ SO OTHERS DONT CATCH ON MHMHM

12. akashi

traditional- plus it was a different era for him growing up so…

(would glare at someone if he really did see you getting emotionally distressed)

13. smiley

“ that’s one of the most stupidest shit ive ever fucking heard 😁”

.🙁

“ you either have tits or a dick “

.☹️

but would beat people up if you get SUPER upset ( call it his protect instincts with angry, but would send people to the hospital)

14. taiju

“ i wanna church girl who goes to church and reads her bible “

would spit at me

- WHO WOULD BEAT SOMEONE UP FOR DEAD-NAMING / MISGENDERING

1. PAH CHIN AND PEH YAN

THEYRE ABSOLUTE MENACES TO SOCIETY IF SOMEONE CALLS YOU A GIRL / BOY

head canon : during tenjiku you were there and had to adjust your transtape cause it was coming lose 🙄

which is literally the most annoying thing in the world-

and shion saw you.

he came up and was like “ HUH WHAT’VE WE GOT HERE?? A GIRL PRETENDING TO BE A G-“

couldn’t even finish his sentence with how fast peh chin clocked his ass 🤭

( peh yan supremacy)

2. my main man takemichy

no explanation needed ( maybe deadnamed you only once cause he didn’t know)

3. inui cause i said so

5. BAJI BAJI

BAJI WOULD ALMOST KILL A DUDE FOR CALLING YOU YOUR DEAD NAME

i KNOW mama baji raised him right ✋🙄

almost clocked chifuyu when you told him about your first encounter kcksldofospdoco

almost clocked your mom when she said “you got it girlfriend”

she was confused when she saw you desperately trying to prevent the next criminal minds episode

best listener for body dystrophia fight me 🙉❤️

6. senju

*comes out*

“..oh okay! anyways as i was saying [preferred name] “

would need some gentle reminders only once or twice cause i will say it does take a bit of time for people to get used to it and there are always a few slip ups

tells akashi about your pronouns ( ONLY WITH YOUR CONSENT OFC)

( promises to try and be more girly if he calls you by them and your preferred name)

she wants you to go into more details about what you’re feeling cause she’s genuinely very interested about everything and she wants to know more about you.

7. emma 😻 vv supportive 🙌🙌

*sicks mikey and draken out on anyone who hurts your feelings

“you know [blah blah blah] from history?”

“of course yeah “

“yeah he ended up calling me slur during class- what’re you doing?”

*emma pulling out her phone

“hm? oh nothing don’t worry about it”

gave more insight about it to draken and mikey

8. HINA

YALL SAW HOW SHE SLAPPED MIKEY-

THIS GIRL WOULD D R A G A BITCH BY THEIR HAIR IF SHE SAW THEM BULLYING YOU

the one of correct takemichy

9. yuzuha

hina but 10x worse

trips transphobes for shit and giggles 🤪🤞

i like to think that the girls (all 4) would just all stare down a girl who was shit talking you and just pick her apart mercilessly ( a little ooc but this is my head canons so they can be whatever i say they are)

ones idk about

1. mikey

he knows that you can handle yourself so he lets you correct people.

or

sometimes he’ll jump in and correct them instead for one of two reasons.

1. he felt like it

2. they kept calling you your dead name and misgendering you EVEN THOUGH you already corrected them

but if the person ACTIVELY does that and says some… not so fruity things. he’ll send em to the hospital and end up on life support 😌☝️

like dom tertto, he cares about his family. and toman is his family, and you’re in toman ( not THAT kind of y/n way 🙄 )

“ BE WHO YOU AREE🌈🌈🌈🌈🤪🤞🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈”

1. draken

… listen… idk why, but i just don’t SEE him beating people up for misgendering me… well okay i kinda see it,

but he’d be like, “ i don’t understand what you’re going through, but i support you and if you want to talk about it i’m here”

wants to try and understand so like i said before, he lets you rant about what you’re feeling

would let you handle your own battles cause your strong enough to

a true king 😎🙌

does in fact throw punches when it gets REALLY BAD

2. angry

… idk h o w empathic he is and how mad he’d have to be on your behalf when people actively kept misgendering you to become the blue ogre.

but he’d just start crying at the confrontation.. 😐

my hero ig 🤥

3. izana

“ that’s fucking stupid”

*beats up middle aged woman who said for you to “ have a good day ma’am”

but if y’all close he’ll only say it’s stupid once when he sees you genuinely upset and ignoring him

“ be who you are.. 🌈”

4. kaku

same boat as izana, A LOT less judgmental

5. mitsuya

won’t hesitate to send a bitch flying

actively corrects people

( teaches luna and mana about your pronouns for the next time you come over 🕺🏻)

TAKES YOU SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES

6. haitani brothers

*actively bullies you

*bullies kid into the grave for looking at your chest area

7. …hakkai

he accidentally slipped up once🤒

WHEN I SAY THIS MANS FACE WENT PALE- HE DIDNT TALK TO YOU FOR A W E E K MINIUM CAUSE HE FELT SO BAD

YOU KEPT TELLING HIM THAT ITS FINE-

BUT HE FELT AWFUL

( has nightmares about it)

8. chifuyu would only do it in his mohawk era cause he wanted to seem metal and impress da boys 🥶🥶☝️☝️

pulled you aside at the end of the day to apologize

( like i said before, baji almost clocked him when you told him about your first encounter )

who am i kidding they’re all in gangs, they’d probably kill someone if they hurt you cospwpfoslief

——————

IF YALL GOT ANYMORE IDEAS LMK CAUSE IM INVESTED IN YHIS AND WANNA HEAR WHAT YALL THINK

[heavenaintaniceplace]

so i found my mother’s copy of the jw (new world translation) bible and i decided to yoink that shit for disposal but not before i realized there is a lot of lines highlighted in the book from when she was being manipulated by the jw lady that convinced her to do “bible study” for years. and what do you know if the lines the lady had my mother highlight weren’t the same lines that jws use to justify their cult beliefs! all the lines are cherry picked, no actual study, just the lady manipulating and priming her to accept their beliefs by presenting so called “biblical proof.” so here is some of the things that stand out before i finally rip this thing to shreds and through it away.

literally the whole book replaces every instance of the tetagrammaton with “jehovah” because they want people to believe its been “removed from the bible thousands of times because they don’t want you to know the true name of god”. the whole thing is translated with an agenda to make them look right and everyone else wrong and to make people believe they have some secret hidden knowledge (they don’t they’re liars). putting this under a read more because its very long.

heavy TW for everything related ro religious trauma, the jehovah’s witnesses, bible passages and christianity. incredibly long post. i plan on burning the jehovah’s witness copy of the bible, no joke.

the imago dei part of genesis to try and convince her that humans were super special to god

genesis chapter 3, the serpent convincing eve to eat the fruit of knowledge so that she would accept their version of the original sin doctrine and that women are cursed

chapter where cain kills abel to convince her that this was the first murder in human history (obviously incorrect)

highlighted the part where god kills everything on earth with a flood to groom her into expecting god to do it again later and seen as fair and just and part where god “gives” noah every living creature (because fuck other organisms apparently)

part of leviticus where (in their version) theyre like “no soul must eat blood” (what the fuck) to justify not allowing life saving blood transfusions

deuteronomy part about “jehovah being one” to justify being non trinitarian (they don’t believe jesus is god or that the holy spirit is god, this is meant to lure people who are already christians away from their denoms and into theirs)

“thou shall not kill” is highlighted for some reason and i don’t know why

highlighted job 1:12 to emphasize that they believe satan is in control of the world because god allows it and job 26:7 that has a note saying “the earth hangs there” when talking about sheol to convince her of where earth is relative to “heaven” and using a bunch of “face of the waters” creationist language to make it vague as possible. job 27:5 to make her believe that “no one is righteous” and that saying so is sinful

part in psalms that assures that “wicked people will be no more if you just wait a little while longer” (this is the apocalypse imminent narrative they use to groom people with fear of dying or leaving but also to get them warmed up to the idea of mass death). “the righteous will inherit the earth and live forever” narrative so they believe that jws will live on earth forever after being resurrected while everyone else (whos not a jw) is killed by god

psalms 91 to drive home the fact that these people think theyre invincible in every meaning of the word, to natural disasters and disease etc

proverbs 6 part about “false witnesses”. jws believe that three jehovah’s witnesses have to be present to verify that a crime (like domestic or sexual abuse) actually happened or the governing body and elders don’t care. literally. the “false witness” narrative is used against survivors and people they want to silence in their organization and emphasizes how much jehovah hates “false witnesses” aka people brave enough to talk and victims

proverbs 12:18 about “wise and unwise tongues”, basically anyone that speaks out against the jws are “unwise” and harmful

proverbs 22 about raising children (”train up a child”, if you don’t know it already this is a child abuser dog whistle) that implies that indoctrination will last until adulthood if done right. this is especially bad because this copy is from the early 2000s when i was in kindergarten. this woman had been lurking on us since i was an infant.

proverbs 27 about how neighbors near is better than brothers far away. the implication here is that fundamentally family who aren’t jws don’t matter

ecclesiates 5. i genuinely think its warning people to not ask too much of god or risk his anger, thats the vibe im getting here because the wording is confusing as fuck

isiah 40:22 trying to hammer in the notion that god is greater than anything especially “worldly” governments (except the governing body ofc /s). isiah 43:10 the “you are my witnesses” to justify the name “jehovah’s witnesses” and shoehorn the idea in

daniel 2:40, the idea of an indescribable kingdom, the whole kingdoms in the “last days” conspiracy they use to convince people the “last days” are coming

matthew 4:8 where jesus is persuaded by satan by offering every kingdom on earth. the point in text is “don’t worship anyone except god” but the point of the jws is that nothing on earth actually matters

matthew 6:9 (nice), the our father, meant to make the reader to ask god to hasten the kingdom of god or as we ex-jws know hasten the apocalypse and the death of people they dont like

matthew 16:24, meant to convince people to leave everything behind and join the jws, “disown yourself” aka “die to yourself” toxic bullshit repackaged

matthew 19:9, to convince people that divorce even in instances of domestic abuse is wrong because the governing body won’t allow it and loves to control women

matthew 24:4-14, “anyone who doesnt speak for the jws is a false prophet” and warms people up to the notion that war is necessary; also that evidence of war is a sign of the “last days” and that this is supposed to be good news. ongoing war and the hope for global genocide is “good news” to them.

matthew 24:21. this one is meant to make people feel the apocalypse could happen at any time and to be afraid of it, a great war is coming and only the “chosen ones” (jehovah’s witnesses) will survive when everyone else dies. there’s a paper bookmark on this page. makes me wonder.

mark 8:34. the “die to yourself” bullshit, the idea that the cross was a “torture stake” because jws believe that wearing crosses is idolatry and they want other people to believe their quirky beliefs so they accept heavier things

matthew 10:28, “anyone who follows jehovah and jesus will literally live forever!” but also that “no one is prepared to leave their family for jesus and thats shameful because you should want to sacrifice your entire family!”

mark 11:24 “anything you pray for earnestly you get”. this is spiritual bypassing btw. and :25 “ask for forgiveness and be automatically forgiven no matter what you did” is also fucked

matthew 15-23: jesus (almost) gets wasted while being crucified etc, not sure why this one is highlighted unless im missing some jw bullshit here

luke 20:27. don’t understand this one but they’re threatening “heavier judgement” on people

john 5:28, promising resurrection through jesus after people die but only for the Good tm people (the jws)

john 6:15. how jesus is about to be arrested but goes to a mountain. dunno why this on is underlined

john 11:24. bringing home the same “jesus will save you from dying if youre a jw” bullshit. john 14:6 “jesus is the ONLY way ever! there can’t be anything else except jesus” indoctrination tailored to make you co-dependent. john 17:3, hook line and sinker of promising resurrection and “eternal life” again

john 17:15. here is the “we aren’t of the World tm” shit meant to make you feel outcast from everyone else who isnt a jw, setting up “the world” (everyone else) as other

acts 15:25. “follow the jw rules because the holy spirit you to”

romans 10:10, spread jw beliefs and witness as much as possible. romans 12:9 “hate everything jehovah hates so you’re not a hypocrite” basically means hate other people the jws don’t approve of

corinthians 6:9 (nice but not so nice this time) “anyone we don’t like won’t inherit the earth” translation: anyone we don’t like won’t survive the apocalypse thats definitely happening soon so always be afraid. “homosexuals” are changed to “men kept for unnatural purposes for this one.” still homophobic.

corinthians 7:6, the idea that everyone has a gift that needs to be exploited and used by the jws

corinthians 15:33. “don’t participate in any activities with any outsiders because it will lead you away from jehovah!! fun is ‘drunkenness’, you’ll loose your resurrection if you do!! non jw people are bad influences!!”

2 corinthians 7:1. your body and flesh is defiled, you need to be cleansed in order to be good

galatians 5:20. “having human emotions is sinful! struggling is sinful! being angry is sinful! having a bad day is sinful!” basically that being human is inherently wrong or something

ephesians  3:14. tries to make people believe everything is owed to god only and that obedience is good so they fall for cult power structures later. 4:28 here is just the top of the page being labeled “new personality” and thats all we need to know about indoctrination and cult personality vs actual personality. also “let not the sun set with you in a provoked state” being used against people still angry about being wronged and hurt by others and its been used against me a lot of times

ephesians 6:4. make sure the jw fathers provide the most discipline to children, literally uses the phrase “mental regulating of jehovah”. it couldn’t be more cult like at this point.

timothy 5:8 makes people believe that men alone are expected to provide and if they don’t they’re worse than “those without faith”. no pressure though!

timothy 6:19. wants people to neglect everything actually happening in favor of the “real life” (”eternal life”) instead and to constantly prepare for that instead of actually living life. dedicate your whole life to jw activities

titus 2. women need to be subjects to their husbands but also homemakers, live to glorify their husband, chaste and definitely not mentally ill or showing any symptoms. what the fuck is titus i never heard of this shit until today.

hebrews 1:7-14, trying to convince people that angels live to serve god but also has some superseccsionist/replacement theology (antisemitism) vibes going on

james 2:23, wants people to believe that god “putting people to the test” is actually a way to become “jehovah’s friend” and that being put to the test (read: suffering) is actually a good thing because it primes them to accept suffering as their fault later on. james 4:7 “everything evil will vanish if you rebuke it long enough!!”

peter 3:9 the “god’s timing is always right” gospel bs and encourages people not to do things themselves but to wait and also that jehovah will be on time when its time to start another global genocide. how encouraging! peter 3:13, the same “end of world near” scare tactic, “new heavens new earth” promise to eradicate everyone the jws dont like as that is jehvoah’s “promise” to the witnesses

1 john 3:8, their version of the original sin doctrine, the devil is the source of all evil scare tactic etc

short detour: every instance of “servant” is replaced with “slave” in this version. it makes me feel ill.

revelations 7:16, wants people to believe that god will take away all their pain and that they won’t need food or water to survive anymore (bullshit). also the jehovah’s witness 144,000 chosen people bullshit is here too but not highlighted

revelations 12:7-13, a depiction fo michael drop kicking satan and the implication that satan has always been in charge and not god because they want people to believe that. also that the devil will fall to earth and try to eat jws

revalations 14-4: virgins get dibs on heaven and god i guess. i dont know what the fuck is going on. 14:6 an angel yelling fear god from above, probably where the jws get most of their apocalyptic imagery from that they use to scare children into believing they could die at any minute

so now that we finally got to the end of that mess, their version of revalations ends with jesus saying “yes, i am coming quickly” and “may the undeserved kindness of jesus christ be with the holy ones.”

joking aside, everything highlighted in this copy of this book has been used against me and my mother for years and is a huge part of the reason i have religious trauma now. everything she was told or encouraged to highlight aided jehovah’s witness indoctrination and propaganda, her own indoctrination and eventually mine which apparently started even earlier than i thought.

[starless-gaze]

Marauders era characters as Mexican holidays. (2/3)

(i feel like i need to stress the fact that i am mexican and thats why im making these)

Lily:

Día de Independencia. (Independence Day)

September 16th.

It's the day the Natives, Criollos and Mestizos joined together to fight off the Spaniards in order to be free from their 300 year reign. (Once you see what actually happened during Cinco de Mayo and Día de Independencia it makes more sense that they are not the same thing, huh?)(Sorry, I'm just sick of gringos thinking a 62-day battle is the same thing as an 11-year war.)

Lily is someone who doesn't take shit from anyone.

The only reason she stayed friends with Snivellus that long was because she thought he would open his eyes.

I actually think that Lily was considering ditching his racist ass before but once the M*dblood incident happened she realized he was not worth her time.

The girls definitely had a little party in their dorm and called it "Lily's Independence Day".

Sponsored by Mary of course. (You'll see why when you read her holiday.)

And it became their little tradition.

I like to think that Lily was the baddest bitch at Hogwarts so there's that.

Mary:

Guadalupe-Reyes.

December 12 - January 6.

It's basically when you go drinking everyday from december 12 (Día de la Virgen de Guadalupe) to january 6 (Día de los Reyes Magos)(That's where you get the Guadalupe and Reyes from.)

There's really no other explanation.

It's just an excuse we invented to get drunk

And it's not technically a holiday, it's more of a period of time between holidays but I feel like Mary would definitely go clubbing during Guadalupe-Reyes every year.

Also I feel like Mary was definitely the life of the party and always got invited to the other houses' parties, including Slytherin.

And she was one of the only ones who could sneak in quality booze.

Like Muggle booze. (Mostly vodka but also tequila and rum.)

(Definitely loved Mango flavoured Bacardi.)

(And Absolute Vodka.)

She always knows how to have a good time.

And she's fun.

This is a fun (non)holiday.

Marlene:

Posadas.

December 16 - December 24.

They represent like the 9 days Joseph and Mary were asking for haven in Jerusalem I think.

They have something to do with the Bible and before Christmas but I'm not sure about the specifics.

But it doesn't really matter, we, as Mexicans, have a lot of holidays around Catholicism but we've mostly detached them from the Church.

This is one of them.

Kinda.

I mean, we don't like sing the Psalms or go to Church but we do break the piñatas and drink the ponche.

And ofc drink alcohol.

I mean, it wouldn't be a Mexican holiday without alcohol.

But I feel like the Posadas have Marlene vibes because they're in holiday season, they're cozy, there's ponche (ik I already mentioned the ponche but it's honestly the best beverage ever, if u haven't tried it ur missing so much.)

Marlene is the type of person you go to when you want a hug or physical affection.

So of course, she gets the comforting holiday.

(At least it's comforting to me)

Dorcas:

La Guelaguetza. (It doesn't translate)

Next two mondays after July 16.

The 8 regions of Oaxaca join together at the Cerro Fortín.

It's a really colourful, vibrant, and over the top event.

(Just like every other mexican holiday tbh.)

To oversimplify it, it's basically a fair with a lot of dances from each region.

I read a fic once about Dorcas loving dancing and made it part of her personality in my own hc.

So that's why I gave them the big dancing holiday.

I also think that Dorcas is like loud in a quiet way?

I'm not sure how to explain it.

Like, with her friends they're always making them laugh and things like that but to an outsider they see Dorcas as someone quiet and maybe even shy.

What I'm trying to say is that Dorcas is an introvert.

And they love dancing.

People don't often get why Dorcas is friends with such obnoxious people (the marauders) because they think that she's too calm for them, but once they see them on stage, dancing her heart out, they understand.

[bbugyu]

out of all the sebongies, who do you think would be the best lifelong partner for u

okay who the FUCK sent this im about to go fucking feral WHO WAS IT SHOW URSELF THIS WAS A DIRECT ATTACK

i will begin by saying i think seokmin is my dream man. like, really. i’ve said a million times why i love him so i won’t just. be a broken record. but i really do love him so so much and i would love him so much but to be perfectly honest he deserves someone who matches him better than i would. i think we would be fantastic friends. i also have a big ol crush on jeonghan, but to be frank, we would be so volitile it’s not even funny. like, y’all read neverending artistry, right? yeah. that’s us except we would definitely be worse. we would butt heads CONSTANTLY. and like sure it’s not serious and like fun and sexy or whatever but idk if i want to have that forever? SEEMS EXHAUSTING

but? my lifelong partner? kSDLFJHJKSLDF i can’t believe i’m gonna say this but. bUTDJKSHJ ok break

joshua fucking hong. OKATY HEAR ME OUT BEFORE YOU CALL ME JSA KSKL A SIMP OK IM NOT A JOSHUSHU I JUST KJRHSKDJKD I JUST THTHINKK!!!

joshua is so fucking funny. like he makes me laugh so hard. and i’m someone who values that above anything else in a relationship, and he is just so effortlessly hilarious in a way that’s like?? idk he doesn’t worry about looking cool when he says jokes and i respect that a lot. he’s so insanely handsome and then he makes the stupidest faces. i love that so much. i think our senses of humor line up almost perfectly, and the way we react to certain situations. like when hao played svt in the car and josh was just like *blinks rlly hard* “oh wow” ADJFHKDJHFKH THATTTTT that killed me because like bro if someone played a song i made in the car i would literally be like yo shut that shit off

also he said in the kelly clarkson show that he really enjoyed lord of the rings recently and. i literally. lotr is one of the most important pieces of media to me like it was my first tattoo i used to watch the movies OBSESSIVELY as a kid and i watched the behind the scenes even more. lotr is the reason i write. lotr is the reason i love film the way i do. it’s like immensely important to me and i know he just said he like. watched them recently KJHDSKJF bUT!! the fact that he was willing to sit down and watch them and liked it enough to mention it is enough for me fam!

the language thing is a big part also. i learned japanese growing up because we spoke it at home, so i can understand and speak fairly well, but i’m SHIT at reading and writing because i just ??? never had to learn ???? and i know josh had the same experience when he moved to korea. he grew up speaking it but didn’t really know how to read and write and had to learn. that’s something we can relate on! and i know he’s like. really into anime so KLDFJSK he speaks some japanese!!! and i’m learning korean!!!!! imagine us switching between three languages in the most annoying way so that no one else can understand us <3 how cute would that be JDHFKSDJ

i’m kind of like a cat. i like affection, but only when it’s on my terms. i love cuddling with my partner, but i literally refuse physical touch from my friends. joshua seems like such a kind attentive person and i think that he would be able to read me really well. on top of that, we are both asian american. i would be lying if i said i don’t immediately feel certain kinship with any other asian american i meet. we were both raised on the west coast and went to church every weekend. i don’t have belief, but i’ve read the bible for fun and i respect faith a lot (not necessarily organized religion bc :/ it’s a lil shady :/) and i think it would be something we could have genuine conversations about. i think we could both learn a lot from each other. i feel as though we have a lot of similarities in our core values, but opposing opinions on a lot of things, so there’s a lot of room for growth within the relationship.

also he seems really adventurous in his food taste and is down to try anything which!!! is also one of the most important things to me. i am the child of a japanese woman and a line chef like I LOVE FOOD and i have a really vast palate so if he can keep up! i’mma keep him!

okay also also josh is enfj and i’m infj. he’s a capricorn and i’m a taurus. some of u know where i’m going with this but for those that don’t. 

NOWWWW i’m not sayin this is like. set in stone. i know it’s not. but let a bitch dream ok

[tobacconist]

ill put it here since its hard to have a proper discussion through replies

@solomonjones 

God’s will is mysterious, and we as humans cannot know it. i dont pretend to, but i can aspire to atleast attempt to understand it. regardless of your religion; either you believe: God ordains all events throughout history as part of his greater unknowable plan, and that it is He who causes the rise and fall of nations, peoples, ideologies, etc or, you believe: when good things happen to you God is blessing you but when good things happen to your enemies it is satan who blesses them. if that is the case, you do not worship the One True God. you worship an imposter deity who presumes to call itself “θεός”, or “Бог” or “ الله ”;  who is caught in deep rivalry with all the other pretenders to the throne of God Almighty.

this is what the story of the old testament is fundamentally about. even though the israelites were God’s chosen people, they were continually overtaken and oppressed by pagans. as it is written, the LORD hardened the pharaohs heart. in my opinion, it is impossible to understand the wider context of the bible (old and new testament) without understanding it in relation to pagan history and mythology (and in relation to the modern world) they didnt include, say, the odyssy in the holy canon of course because the pagan peoples being converted already knew these stories intimately. they did include the scriptures of the jews however (even though they were in many ways just as spiritually flawed as the pagans) because people were less familiar with them and the scriptures of the jews are very important to understanding the significance of the life of Jesus Christ (as he fulfilled prophecies of both the pagans and the jews)

when i say i have deep respect for the orthodox churches, please understand that i am being completely earnest. but i see it for what it is, an imperial religion of temporal power, like any other. this is going to sound quite harsh, and im writing this from an antagonistic perpective because, i presume, as someone who is quite devout; you do not need to be convinced of the deep need for religion in the world (now more than ever) that said... throughout history, kings and theologians have torn the Body of Christ, the church herself, into pieces. like DOGS they have torn the body of christ to pieces! like some horribly blasphemous tug of war. catholics pulling the head and protestants pulling the legs. baptists pulling out the intestines, the orthodox snarling and territorially guarding the heart, and the gnostics scooping up the spilled brains. and yet they are all convinced they know best, that they are the ones with grace, that they are the only true pure and correct church. this is what i mean about spiritual pride, and everyone knows it. especially when their actions and morals are in so many ways clearly at odds with what Christ actually taught. the only reason atheism exists is because of centuries of corrupt religious leaders; you can blame no one else for this godless world.

you claim the tsar held grace by his ceremonial anointment; but God hears the cry of the oppressed. thousands dead for your cause seems very reasonable compared to thousands dead for your enemies cause. but God gave people a rational mind, and although we are all misguided, he gave us wisdom enough to (eventually) see through deceit - whos author is the devil. it took centuries, but he taught us the ignorance of idolatry. the foolishness of worshipping kings. many more centuries it took until we abolished slavery. when the LORD let loose his hand and upturned the entire order of civilisation; throwing the chess pieces everywhere. fortuna’s wheel made such a global revolution; scarcely ever seen before. the nobility of the world, once so proud, learned through the bitterest chastisement the desserts of one who believes he can do no wrong.  i cannot question the judgement of the LORD, but i do wish history had been different. less bloodshed, less mess; but God knows best.

on the topic of miracles, you can believe whatever you like, my friend. jesus said blessed are those who believe what they cannot see; but in my opinion you are as naive as one who believes hindu swamis can manifest gold rings out of thin air.  all religions are guilty of this chicanery, but the spell only holds as long as people still want to believe. God gave us the power of reason, and His essence is truth. a great spiritual mystery; that (atleast for the past hundred years) Gods chosen people have been the atheists who knew him not! contemplate it! deny it if you want! there is great wisdom to be found there. not that they are blameless. the very opposite. i do not deny the horrors of communism which i assume you as an orthodox christian will know intimately well; but communist movements (and growing secularisation in general) cannot be thought surprising when one considers history. but has not the LORD advanced their science? has He not given them the power to perform many miraculous (and diabolic) deeds? babylon, rome, and america all play their part in His great plan. Blessed are the Naive, for they will not be punished as severely as those who should have known better. you can bring up some (rather weak) scientific validation of miraculous events to prove that God is on your side, but every single religion does this. and if you look at who is actually out there curing the blind, deaf and lame, who is it?

do you feel a deep spiritual calling in your heart which demands your soul to cleave unto the orthodox church? good. listen to it. that is God talking to you. that is God telling you what role you must play here in your lifetime. in some peoples hearts, that voice tells them to cleave to islam, or to buddhism, or to fucking wicca some people it tells them to ardently support nothing but science and secularism and to reject any fairytale from the past that they cannot prove. to some it tells them not to worry about any complicated theological or scientific shit that they would never understand anyway; and instead to simply follow what they know and try to be a good person by whatever ethical system they follow.

to some of us, it says we must always, always strive to be wise. that it is our sacred duty to solve every great paradox and to unveil every mystery that while the rest of the world argues in the dark, we must take our small spark of light and study deeply what we see within its radiance; and combine our little lights whenever we can. that we will be punished for our failings, as we will never be truly wise. no man can be omniscient. we will be punished for everything that we know, and for everything that we dont know, and that we must accept this. for being lukewarm and middling, for being passionate and taking a side. but we must do it anyway. that it is our duty. because ignorance is a condition which feels disgusting. that voice, it tells me that this is the task, the monumental task that all mankind undertook when we chose to eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil, when we had been warned not to; to become like gods. and God himself, the LORD almighty said to us: okay.  but you will die. you will die thousands of times. thousands upon thousands, upon thousands of times. and each time, you will become just a little bit wiser until maybe, just maybe, you will become like i. my “only begotten son” who will reign with me in paradise when you finally realise what a profound responsibility it is to be God.

[dahniwitchoflight]

Homesquared Chapter 4

I cheated and some of my chapter 4 thoughts leaked into the chapter 3 post lol

Mostly about the pretty obvious Garden of Eden metaphor Dirk is for some reason setting up for himself and Rose as Adam and Eve

and I was about to say which begs the question of what the heck role Terezi is supposed to play as but then it’s very obviously as the Snake in the Garden

Terezi is very much just barely holding back some irritation towards how Dirk is treating Rose, but she’s also very intelligent and is aware of How much Dirk sees/knows and controls about their situation, so she’s probably leveraging her powers over Mind as much as possible in order to stay hidden in plain sight from Dirk’s narrative

and she does so in a way that is one of Dirk’s only blindspots - How Mind and other people have an effect in the determination of the Soul/Heart

By acting in a manner and doing things in a way that aligns with his expectations of her, he assumes and pigeonholes her into a type of character and bases his predictions of her behaviors off of that archtype, never expecting her to act outside it, and when he sees her actions and thoughts and desires all align within it, never questions that it might one day change or was different all along. Dirk’s never really been good at reading other people, can’t see without the lens of “how would I do it” blinding him to things he would never think to do, a trap that he keeps falling into with his friends and one he’s probably trying to overcome by becoming Ultimate God Person/combining all perspectives into his own and uncovering blindspots like that

But right now Mind is the darkest thing in is corner still and I think he sort of knows that as well

Terezi walks the crazy wiggled line boundary between their two Souls that defines who each of them is, as expertly as a person on a tightrope, never wavering until she reaches her destination, at which point she’ll leap off of that line and leave Dirk scrambling to try and calculate her next move/who exactly is she/what her goals are, since’s it won’t be following the clearly defined Heart boundary he’s used to drawing his plans by, so she’ll have to choose the perfect moment in order to entice Eve of the Apple of Revelation once more, heck, she might even do that so sneakily that she gets Adam to take a bite as well, since as soon as Rose bites it she’ll have an ally with her against Dirk.

For God created the Serpent originally as well, so thus why did he not imagine it’s betrayal and prevent it before it could have happened? Or else why did he create something he knew was going to betray? Eden was a paradise, so why intentionally create Evil in that paradise?

If Eve corrupted Adam and the Snake corrupted Eve, Who exactly corrupted the first Serpent? That’s something that the bible never goes into really, at least in Genesis, except to say that the Snake was punished for it’s action to forever crawl the earth eating the dust of man’s heel, punishing all snakes, as Adam and Eve’s punishment punished all humans

(Later I think the bible would try to say that the Snake was the Devil all along, but then why punish the Snake and all it’s progeny for it? If it was the Devil’s doing that undid Adam and Eve then why punish them for the Devil’s actions they would have no way of guarding against or now way of knowing it was a lie? Was it not God’s failure? The Walls of the Garden of Eden were supposed to protect his perfect creation afterall)

Gotta say though I really Rose’s design

I would call her Evil Rose, but she things she does she does in ignorance, not really out of evil, it would be like calling Eve evil for listening to the Snake when she was purposefully blinded to it’s intentions by her creation by God.

Once again we get this idea of Knowledge and Choice affecting eachother, Well I say again but really I’ve been watching RWBY a lot lately and the idea that you can’t make a real choice without real knowledge comes up a lot in it’s mythos and it is really applicable here

Terezi’s design as well is incorporating a lot more Red, she really dug those red shoes aesthetic but gave it her own twist, she’s got a red tie, her ever present red cane and glasses and even in that shot of her her horns look more red and solid as well, even though i know it’s just the lighting

So really digging the whole Terezi is the Apple/Snake in the Garden metaphor, she has also been having that tendency to just snack on random plants, intentionally for her own or Dirk’s unaware benefit or not, it’ll make it that much easier to her actions of later betrayal to be seen as “in character and therefore expected and not dangerous” instead of pre-meditated and actually dangerous, to him

And then they start waxing about their various philosophical babble, Dirk seems really determined to also use this to try and figure out that whole problem of how other’s affect the self, he’s trying at least, I think, in his own way. But not for a good reason, not so that he can have a real understanding of that, but because he wants to use it to guard his own self even further

He’s maybe not using Rose here as an equal player, but more like a wall to bounce his own ideas off of and test them, like using a neural learning AI to test ideas or an actual literal wall in a game of table tennis.

Heh, I got a chuckle out of the fact that Dirk’s answer to the Ship of Theseus problem is “why does we even have to remove and replace parts of it, why not keep the original pristine and eternal?”

because it’s funny how avoidant of the problem that answer is, man he really really is uncomfortable with the idea of changing the self in any way

“He's avoiding the question again. It's amazing how one can technically have the maximum amount of metaphysical personal awareness possible, and still not notice these sorts of things. “

SAYS LITERALLY YOU but honestly this is just more fuel to the idea that maybe he can make a genuine connection and understanding with a person if he can recognize how he and her are the same

“It's stuff like this that makes me wonder sometimes whether there's anything about myself that I'm missing. Then I throw that wonder in the garbage can and turn the incinerate setting on.”

but nah he’s still firmly denying that possibility, he’s almost actually equating his trauma of self erosion with the idea that making friends and understanding others changes the self in subtle ways as well

He can’t even stand the thought of his own close friends influencing him to be different in small subtle ways or adjusting his behavior for others because that STILL counts as a change of self that he didn’t authorize or choose. 

Also can’t help but by be reminded of my wacky little fan made Gamma session I made forever ago by them using the name Delta-Detritus and basically be like alright, what if we do SBURB again but BETTER/worse this time?? Which is essentially the thread that most Homestuck fix it fanfiction tends to go towards

Though I am curious now

We got A/Alpha for Alternia which is based of off “Alternate” introducing the trolls as an alternate race to Human Earth

B/Beta for Beforus which is based of off “Before” introducing the planet of trolls that came before the first group

And then Earth C, now, there isn’t a letter C, the third in the greek alphabet is actually Γγ Gamma, (and the fourth is  ΔδDelta)

So I wonder what “name” Earth C really has?

It feels like it should either start with C OR with GA, as Alternia starts with the AL of Alpha, Beforus starts with the BE of Beta and same with Deltritus and Delta

As as “Another for Earth” Gaia isn’t a terrible option all things considered, now you just have to make it sound like a word which describes it’s use to the narrative

It’s is a very split place, having the two timelimes Meat and Candy associated with it, as well it does feel extremely mercurial in nature, being a sort of crosswords between Homestuck and Homesquared proper, and really exists in a place between stories, an ephemeral epilogue of sorts

really a merger of Gaia and Gemini feels the most appropriate here, like Gamini, also the word mini stands out in there as well, knowing that this Planet is sort of on a lesser status compared to the other three since it’s not going to be the birthplace of a session, also has the word Game in it

But then people will wonder why it doesn’t begin with a C since it still is called Earth C so *shrug*  

Honestly C K and G sounds are all very similar in the tongue, so maybe it’s both Camini and Gamini at the same time OH FUCK CA AND GA, ONE HAS CALLIOPE ONE HAS GAMZEE? SHIT IM ONTO SOMETHING (no im not)

I like Camini now better, it comes from a place of Gamma/Gamzee/Game/Gemini but ends up being more about the twinned Ca’s that were used to, Caliborn and Calliope and fits with the establish Earth C theme

So there you go, Earth C’s actual planet name should be Camini 

which also works because: 

Camini

home stove/furnace

smelting/foundry furnace, forge

vent (underground fires)

according to the latin language this word also has multiple meanings and many Irons in the Fire, I think the fandom will appreciate the name haha

Yeah both races are definitely going to both be playing one game of SBURB, despite what Dirk is intending, the pic does make it really clear

There’s something to say how Dirk seems to be represented by Purple and Rose by Orange in this here and then how all of the cave is a backdrop of that same purple.

Look at even the controllers on the machine having purple and orange knobs, even being solely on Dirk’s side of the image

I guess Dirk intends himself to be the force behind Derse, since that’s the force that always “wins” and Rose fitting in her place as the ultimate loser (since of course Dirk will want to win his own game) but also to be like Skaia the force of Prospit

So Dirk intends to be a whisperer like a horrorterror, choosing to manifest his influence that way, while Rose will give visions to her race like Skaia?

makes sense honestly

but again even with the themes of duality, the theme of the trio is bright and center in that piece of ultimately technology, the third influence hidden unseen in the furthest corner behind the curtain of snakelike tubes and wires that Dirk will not expect to interfere, or even have the capability to interfere, Terezi

heck it’s even in the buttons next to the controls being colored red blue and green

there’s so much duality in homestick with destructive red and creative green but then there’s also always been that mercurial breathy blue as the third

God, tell me that doesn’t look like a baby proto horrorterror

I can hear it raging it’s revenge against it’s cruel human creators even as I type

No wonder they become associated with destruction, they know theyre the pawns of two heartless cruel god children playing at life like it was a game

Rose you MUST KNOW how bad this is, it’s not a theoretical discussion anymore, that things exists and is alive and has feelings and you did it to that

and that thing is technically a Dirk too

Is this how Dirk get’s his revelation? Or downfall? As his Heart is unwittingly invaded by the horrified cacophanous screams of his grotesque tortured progeny crying out for his blood?

His end unintentionally ending up as the thing he feared most? Inner self destruction caused by his own sharp and bloody splinters turned and pointed inward, tearing himself apart with the pieces of his own Soul? Caused by his own Hubris?

I will say typing that all out is pretty good

I’m just sad the same will probably happen to Rose too though ): Maybe she’ll make careful more humane species? Something that has the potential to exist and be happy as it’s own creature while Dirk just creates monstrosities forever in conflict with Rose’s race?

They’ll each be the master of their own eventually destinies I suppose but Homestuck seems to have a good track record so far of the Ultimate Female Creator being out to protect the happiness of the children that exist in her creation while the Ultimate Male God just ends up destroying everything in his

[droogiesanddiscourse]

HELLO BABE CAN I REQUEST A PREFERENCE FOR MAX CADY WHERE HES AT THE SAME BAR AS READER AND READER IS BEING LIKE HARASSED BY SOME CREEP I LOVE YOU THANK YOU ISJDSAJDKLASJDLSACJDL

Oh worm??? Max Cady, the creepy loml??? I’ve literally never seen anyone write for him before but GUESS WHAT, IM GONNA CHANGE THAT

Ahem....anyways 

Warnings: Slight!dub-con hint at the end, language, the works. 

Max Cady “Rescuing” You From a Creep at the Bar

• You’ve been having a rough week 

•No, scratch that, you’ve been having a REALLY shitty week 

•You decided to go to the local bar to have a couple of drinks, after all, you felt like you deserved to treat yourself after somehow surviving the work week 

•But let’s be real, you just can’t catch a break can you 

•The LAST thing you needed right now was some creepy ass man giving you “fuck me” eyes from across the bar, not so subtly glancing over your breasts, making crude gestures with his hands. But yeah, that’s what you’re dealing with. He was obviously drunk, but that didn’t excuse anything.  

• And, oh god he decides to come over and talk to you, stringing along a drunken ramble about how much he wanted to “fuck you” and to “see those beautiful tits of yours” 

• You kept your head down, trying to not make eye contact, hoping the man will go away on his own. You hear more footsteps coming behind you, worried that it was some other man coming to harrass you, just wishing you could be anywhere but here. This was supposed to be fun!!! 

• “Oh finally, I found ya! Sorry for showing up so late, doll. You know how traffic can get around this time of year...” A large hand wraps around your shoulder, jolting you right out of your daydream-like state. 

•You hear a chair squeak next to you, and turn to look at whoever’s mysterious voice was greeting you. 

• “How was your day, babe?” He gives a little nod and side eye, referring to the pervert next to you. “Just uh, follow my lead,” he says under his breath, winking at you. 

• Oh! You realize what he’s doing. This random stranger has decided to pretend to be your boyfriend in order to get this creep off your back. It’s really...endearing tbh 

• You catch his drift and play along 

• “Oh! Uh...yeah I understand. Traffic is a bitch. I’m just glad you’re here now!” 

• He looks up, pretending to just notice the creep. “Is this man giving you any trouble?” he emphasizes his words, demanding the attention of the entire bar. “‘cause I really hope no white trash piece of shit is bothering MY girl...” he pauses for dramatic effect “unless he wants to end up chopped up into 40 little pieces on the side of the intersection now, does he?” 

•The pervert slinked away, realizing that if he continued to antagonize you, shit was probably gonna go down in that bar. 

• You turn to the stranger, sighing from relief “Thanks, uh...” 

• “Max Cady” he gives you a warm, wide smile. You immediately notice his prominent dimples.

• “Right. Thanks, Max.” You expect him to move away after the ordeal is now over, but he sticks around, just smiling and staring at you. 

• “Of course, little darling,” he drawls in his thick southern accent, “As the good Lord wrote in Matthew 7:12 - so in everything, do unto others as what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets,” he quickly rattles off. 

• You notice a small tattoo peek out from underneath his red shirt - another bible verse violently scribbled in messy handwriting 

• Great, a religious zealot? Looks like you got rid of one problem just to be introduced to another

• But he’s...not frightening you for some weird reason unlike the other guy. Something stirs in the pit of your stomach, and you’re unaware whether or not its arousal or just pure anxiety. However, you cannot help but to notice the confidence that exudes from him, as well as his rugged good looks. The charm and class he had made him stand out from everyone within this little dive bar. 

•Maybe it was the alcohol finally hitting your bloodstream, but you found yourself incredibly attracted to this stranger in front of you. 

•Oh, and the fact he looks like he could be as old as your Dad, but you’ve always been into older men anyways ;)

• “If you don’t mind my asking, what’s a pretty little doll like you doing in a place like this?” You watch him take a long, sip of his water. Odd choice of drink for someone in a bar.  

• “I’ve just had a really bad week,” you laugh, “and honestly it doesn’t seem like it’s getting any better” 

• “Oh no, your poor little thing, bless you heart....” 

• God, his accent was intoxicating. You could listen to him speak all night.

• “Well, I’m here now, and you’re here...and I don’t know about you, but I think that can’t be some sort of coincidence. A man like me believes in fate, and I think fate put us together right here, right in this bar tonight. How about I get you a drink.” 

• Before you can say anything, he’s already ordering for you. You were going to say yes anyways haha. You nod, “Sure, i’d like that very much. Don’t have anything else better to do” 

•The two of you talk over drinks for a while. The usual stuff, venting about your shitty job, little small talks, etc. etc. He’s a good listener, hanging on to every word you say like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.

•Max only drinks water, but he keeps insisting and insisting on buying you more and more alcohol. You slowly start to feel your conciousness slip away as the liquor does the talking for you. 

• He comes out of nowhere with a proposal “Forgive me if this is awful forward of me but. May I touch you?” 

• You blush and down the rest of your drink, not trying to sound desperate.

• He lets out a chuckle, noticing how flushed you are “aw doll, I didn’t mean to embarrass you...”

You let out an awkward laugh, “Yes..yeah you can touch me...” 

•He brushes a piece of hair away from your face, and cups your cheek in his hand. You’re mind starts to wander,,,what else can his hands do? 

•He does a low wolf whistle “My god, you really are a beauty aren’t ya. You’re just a little beautiful angel fallen from heaven, just for me?” 

•In a haze of alcohol and bad judgement, you lean forward to kiss him 

•Here you are, making out with a 47 year old man in a seedy dive bar on a Friday night. This is the last place you’d expect to be. 

•But really, are you complaining? 

•When he finally pulls away, he whispers into your ear, “There’s more where that came from. Would you like to come back to my place tonight?” 

• “Yes, yes I would very much like to...” 

•His face curls up into a smirk, and you see an odd glint in his eye that makes you worried. 

• Something in his demeanor changed, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. For the first time that night, you start to doubt your decision as you are dragged out of the bar by someone you met just 2 hours ago.

•  He throws you in the back of his car, your head spinning from the events that led you here.

• “You and I are gonna have a lot of fun tonight, darling”

•He slams the car door in your face

[wodnes--coyotl]

ngl i am happy for and also incredulous at how many young trans people are so sure of themselves and how those who can are able to transition so early. even at my worst questioning of imposter syndrome, i know looking back that ive always been this way. im ngl its becoming real to me how the world has changed a lot in ten years and not just bc im personally more aware of some shit than my peers, at 26, ... i am always stunned by the boldness that 16 y.os have today, but at 16 i was not only totally fucked by serious bad circumstances, like, this was not talked about. it just..was not. we had a transman at my hs but i think he detransitioned(?), im not sure. and like...at that age i was never against it, i just didnt understand. i didnt rly question myself even if i knew i didnt fit in... i had other traumas to worry about. i also grew up in central bible belt so..lol.

but like... im happy for them. i have friends at 50+ w top and bottom surgery who are fighting for me and people younger than me, etc. but i gotta say it is fuckin wild to see young trans people arguing abt rhetoric on tumblr or some shit its like lol...no offense but reddit was not a thing back then at my age. fb was just picking up steam. ig didnt exist. texts were still expensive. its so fucking wild to think about. i was so used to being baby, being TREATED like baby, that now im old enough to still be young, but old enough to be like "god what the FUCK". typical 20s shit ive heard from friends in 30s. i mourn the years ive lost to literally just...having to make up for healing, or being retraumatized. its really upsetting but it wasnt my fault and at least im 26 and not...35...or 47...or 59..like my mom who never got better. christ.

anyways

im just NOW confident in MAYBE trying hrt and top surgery and im just always kinda bewildered at literal kids who, autonomous as they are, are like barely discovering sexuality and some of them "know" what they want and at first i doubted some of it but like..no one makes up being trans (handy reminder to self), and its wack how i also in some ways knew back then..but didnt have the language or internet "community" or access obviously...lol. its just wild to me. ive waited too cos i dont ever wanna make these decisions based on like, seeing other people transition in my friendgroup cos lets face it, im from texas. i live in seattle. two very different worlds and seattle is not my last stop. los angeles is sure to be more welcming but..im terrified of living as an out trans nb person for real but the longer shit goes on the more i cant really pretend it away, even if some health issues make transitioning hard or scary... i wont even know what i want till i try. but it is kinda hsrd not to feel both jealous of and grateful for the Young Trans. i also hate that internet consumer commodity culture makes me feel old at 26 ://///// considering a lot of people used to never even come out before that anyways.