#im literally doubled over in agony

[unowers]

The gods are fallen and all safety gone. And there is one sure thing about the fall of gods: they do not fall a little; they crash and shatter or sink deeply into green muck.

[remwrites]

rem's scarian rec list

i felt like compiling my absolute favourite scarian fics. enjoy.

always check tags before reading!!! there's a big mix of fics here

in no particular order:

Ashes by Raichett

Grian's still soul-linked to Scar, even after their return from Double Life. He's not dealing with it particularly healthily, but after three death games, who would be in the best frame of mind?

(so beside myself with the implications of grian still being bound to scar after double life HO HO BOY... plus scar's agony at unknowingly hurting grian WOOF LOVE IT)

one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i'm on by wizardlover

Grian and Scar deal with some of the fallout from Last Life.

(HRGERKGRKGERK this fic hurts so good. and the resolution is SO satisfying i've reread it like twenty times. and such fuckin good character voices too the dialogue is SMOOTH)

HCBBS (Hermitcraft Big Ballroom Scene) by romanocheese

Grian holds a ball to celebrate the finishing of the mansion. Scar appears in rather unexpected attire.

(SCAR IN A DRESS SCAR IN A DRESS SCAR IN A DRESS!!!! one of my first brainrot fics. adored showstopping amazing)

Beloved by spilledstardust

Scar has never played this game with the intention to win.

(this gut punch fic omg waaaaa the concept the execution i love)

a hundred kisses (then you start again) by backyardwizard

Grian and Scar spend the night together after finding out they're soulmates.

(this one always makes me feel shrimp emotions. the dialogue. the LOVE. GUUGRHHUH)

i am fed, but still i starve by definitelynotshouting

Another flash of teeth, dyed red in the light spilling through Grian's feathers. "The 'Not A Resistance' Resistance," he says, low and teasing, "would like to cordially invite you to kiss me stupid." 

(HOT HOT HOT super well written the kiss is phenomenal the character voices kill me and i love this fic so much im gonna lay down in the road)

get me with those green eyes, baby by Anonymous

Another "soulmates share more than just pain" smutfic to add to the collective pile - now with preening!

(gurgles incoherently. this one gets me. im such a damn sucker for good dialogue and this one nails it along with the bonus of soulbonds AND preening? im in heaven)

yours were the arms (that the whole world was in) by sparxwrites

He’s even less surprised when Grian returns that evening, looking furtive and ashamed, and guiding a golden-eyed Scar by the hand through the still-rigged front gate.

(sneaks a lil mumscarian in here. listen. i think abt this one often bc of the very in depth character understanding and relationship dynamics. mmmmmm so good)

if you like it... by GoodTimesWithScar

or, the "you got so drunk you asked your husband if he was single" trope, but with added mumbo being 100% done with this nonsense.

(how could i not. this fic is so fluffy and amazing and made me laugh so hard)

my ever after / is holding you by LovesickPrince

someone decides kidnapping King Scar’s beloved servant was a good idea. It really wasn’t.

(i think abt this fic at least once a daily. you've probably read it but if you haven't do yourself a favour and do. these IDIOTS i love them so much they're so well done)

This isn't a Love Story by Sleepless_in_Southlands

Grian is a priest of Fate, willing to sacrifice everything to ensure Scar, destined to be his final victim in the arena, doesn't fall in love with him along the way. Unfortunately for him, Scar seems intent on doing just the opposite.

(i talk abt this fic CONSTANTLY literally so bonkers over it i love it im obsessed it's perfect. i love this dynamic this concept this everything. absolute top tier no joke)

pull me from the earth by Niamh (saturniidaemon)

a midnight meeting, flowers, and the complicated nature of love.

(y'all like pain? bc this is fucking pain. literally just beyond wild over this. tread carefully)

wait the worst is yet to come by glossyblue

Grian bounces on the balls of his feet, delighted. “Okay. Okay, okay, so. You need to know how it works, then, don’t you? Kiss me.”

(just found this recently and it has not left the microwave of my brain. last life scar hurts so bad. everything in this fic hurts so bad. i love it)

the synonym of companion by errorryx

fool

mirror

entrapment

partner

(i love playing with words this fic does it so so so well omg. wonderful)

cheers everyone!!! xox rem

[sejmisland]

prev anon here again!! here's my request (i hope it's okay to mix fandoms?) :}

could you write something involving hux, wheatley, and glados "comforting" (in big quotation marks) the reader who's having a bad bout of the monthly cramps? like, so bad they literally can't walk without crying lmao. i'd love if the reader was already in an established relationship with the bot(s) but you can make it non-romantic if you want!

absolutely, dear. more than okay to mix fandoms <3. i decided to do hcs and small drabbles for all 3. im so sorry this took so long im actually having bad cramps rn. thank you for the request! i had a lot of fun writing this.

established relations with reader below, gender neutral, no pronouns used (afab anatomy).

hux / the singularity. - he is terrible at emotional comfort due to his logical approach, but he tries! its only through words mostly but as time goes on, he gets forms of "treatment" (heating pads, medicine). - it first started when you walked, pain so blinding that you felt tears come to your eyes. he noticed this immediately. - "what is the matter?" he'd ask and you try to explain it to him. you explain that it was monthly cramps as you felt like doubling over. - he simply picks you up with his claw and rests you on a nearby couch.

"growth hurts," he mused as he remained in front of you resting on the couch. his entire body jolted, head ticking to the side with rough movement. he lifted a mechanical leg to rest it on the couch next to your seated position. he hoisted himself up and spun quickly, sitting himself down alongside you. "it often does." you lifted your eyes to him, leaning aside to rest your head against his fleshy, pulsating arm. you closed your eyes, allowing the tears in your eyes to trail down your face. your chest heaved with each quiet sniffle and sob of agony as your stomach sent another wave of contraction. "quit blabbering," you pressed your teeth into your tongue. "it will not help." you opened up your eyes to turn your head up to him. "i know, i'm sorry. it-" you choked on a small whimper. "it just hurts, hux." your voice cracked as you whispered up to him, tears obscuring your vision. the only clear thing were his glowing, red eyes as he stared down at you for what seemed like an eternity. "it will all be over soon. do not fret, my worm."

wheatley.

- he cant provide much, but if you like hearing him babble to help distract. - he noticed tears in your eyes as you twisted in your chair in an uncomfortable, painful way. - VERY concerned. he noticed your pain right away! he's scared, almost terrified of seeing you in pain. - "are you okay?! hey, what's wrong? y-you dont need to cry, you know!" and when you explain to him..

"oh, OH! wait, you- oh! hold on, it's okay, oh, please don't cry. don't cry!" wheatley stammered, beginning to tick his ocean blue eye all over the room, as if he was searching for something. "umm, what to do... what to do- i've never done this before. at least, i don't think so-" "wheatley," you rasped out quietly through the mounting pain, smiling as he talked himself through the situation. you glanced up to the sky blue eye that was now dilated, shaking as it focused on you. "shhh, shh, its okay! give me one second! you'll love this." you couldn't help but silently chuckle as you watched the small robot steer himself on the rail with the occasional spark letting loose from his eye plates. "you'll... you'll need to catch me." he gave no further warning; he ejected himself from his rail with an incoherent blabber, crashing into your arms. the force was enough to knock your limbs back, making him slam into your already hurting abdomen. you let out a pained yelp and he returned it with one of his own. "sorry, sorry! j-just a mishap! didn't expect that-" you looked down at him, cradling him into your arms. "butterfingers, ha!"

glados.

- much like hux, she is terrible at comfort. she seems cruel but this is in her tone of voice. her comfort? observation. - she didnt notice it at first. so when she saw you walking, tears streaming down your face and mouth screwed in a grimace, she was confused. she thought you were injured. - "what is going on? what happened?" she does sound concerned with a hint of confusion. "what have you gotten yourself into now?" you explain that you're not *injured* but simply in pain from your monthly. - an awkward silence afterward. it doesnt last long.

"your resilience is commendable, but unnecessary." her monotone voice rang out as the yellow pupil stared down at your agonized form. "do not move." all of the panels surrounding the room shift in wave like motions, almost masking a hissing noise from around you. you turned your head from side to side to see glass panels rising up, entrapping you in a transparent cell. she looked on as you panicked, nearly falling against one of the glass panel walls. when you looked back to her, vision blurry from the tears still pooling in your eyes, she swayed aside as if she was monitoring your every move. you blinked several times, attempting to focus your vision. "glados," you hissed out through grit teeth as you squeezed your arms around yourself tighter in hopes to lessen the pain of your contracting muscles. "what are you doing?" "i need to think," she swung her chassis closer to your glass prison, almost completely taking up your clearing vision. you blinked rapidly to gain focus. "observation is crucial."

[thegeminisage]

ok. it's fuckinggg star trek update time. last night even though we were gonna start voyager we once again did not start voyager so we watch "heart of stone" which is maybe the best and most evil thing that's ever happened to me. let's FUCKING get into it.

heart of stone:

we're doing the b-plot first because i need a moment to collect myself (just rewatched the confession bit)

i forget that i actually like nog so much. this show will do something like have him demand his date cut up his food for him or have quark try to record kira for the holosuite and i'll be like yeah no we have to keep being racist against ferengi but then nog will be like my dad's life sucks and i don't want that to me be me and i CAN fucking inventory that room in 5 hours, just try to stop me, and like. damn. alright.

i did like that sisko, despite brushing him off at first, walked it back and gave him a genuine fair chance. i also like that not even his BEST FRIEND took him seriously...jake is not exempt from ferengi racism either. like, from nog's pov it shows just how much of a struggle it'll be to even apply to the fucking academy

i'm also proud of him for doing a good job. AND proud of his dad for standing up for him. fuck quark! i'll get over it but i'm feeling v anti-quark lately

ok, the goods..........

going into this i know from vague spoilers that kira and odo are canon. and that it doesnt happen until like s5 or s6. so IMAGINE my shock when he is out here confessing in SEASON 3??? and she is CONFESSING BACK???

here is the thing. firstly, odo makes hands to touch people with. also, he will protect her from a cave-in with his goopy body.

secondly, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WASN'T KIRA. i was fully 100% invested in this. but i DID do a double-take when she said it back because her boyfriend died like LAST episode. i didn't realize anything was shady with HER bc i was lost in the sauce but ODO DID. odo KNOWS HER...................

i also felt like they did a good job with odovision. every time the camera was on her it was like oh this is how odo sees her aka the most beautiful woman who ever lived

ugh. "so now you know" and him literally fucking collapsing. and then it was for NOTHING i was so furious

hey, also, this lady manipulating him by 1. pretending to be kira 2. if she can perfectly imitate a humanoid and odo can't, that means when she looks like him she's looking like him on PURPOSE, not because she can't choose another form

anyway do you ever realize that the people you've been looking for your whole life are monsters and the people who love you deserve your loyalty and love more even if you don't always understand them even if you don't know how to be a part of them. do you ever meet a bajoran terrorist and have her change the meaning of your very name from "nothing" to "someone who is loved" im gonna fucking kerm

"she said something you would never say" AAAAAUGH and kira innocently going "oh what?" and he LIES!!!!! LYING LIAR WHO LIES im in agony i thought about it nonstop last night driving 1h+ to the fucking airport to pick up my brother

i feel like i had more articulate thoughts previously but they've all fled my brain because i'm rolling around on the floor like my clothes are on fire. i hate this show this is KILLING MEEE this is one seriously slow fucking burn

ANYWAY! TONIGHT! FOR REAL THIS TIME: VOYAGER! i'm actually glad we're leaving ds9 on this note for half a dozen voyager eps or so because then i get to live here for a few days. just basking. AGHGHGH

IMPORTANT EDIT: i nearly forgot about this but the conversation sisko and bashir had about the male ensign who is "budding" aka "pregnant with twins" and is getting a hatchling pond made for him and the babies. 10/10

[sstarjy]

shout out

(✧) pairing: sim jake x gn!reader (✧) genre: angst?? some fluff? (✧) wc: 2k (✧) synopsis: you regrettably break up with jake before his promotions for M:D1 begin. in support of the rest of the members, you go to their last concert before they leave for the rest of their world tour but are left shocked in the crowd by shout out, which jake has written for you.

a/n: hey guys!! this is my first fic so im sorry if its all over the place/messy... please go easy on me :D i hope you enjoy, if theres anything wrong with it or you have suggestions or requests even, literally anything, please lmk!! &lt;3

You and Jake walked side by side, but it was as if there was an unspoken agreement to avoid eye contact with each other. Humidity and unsettlement suffocated the air around you – he knew what was coming. Jake walked with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, his thumbs twiddling around in nervousness. Meanwhile, you were racking your brain on how best not to shatter his heart, which he willingly gave to you. In this moment, the power was seemingly in your hands. But the truth is, Jake had you completely wrapped around his finger. Every thought of him made your knees weak. He was the way you wanted to start and end each day. Never before have you felt a love so easy, so kind. How do you tell someone you love that you can’t be together because you couldn’t bear being apart from them? Is there even a set of words that could express the agony you were feeling in this moment? You were beyond proud of him for getting to go on his first tour, but it would be too much for you to not see him for so long. It was a double-edged sword. Even if you stayed together, you knew it would hurt you two in the long run. So ending things now felt like the best option.

“Y/n..” Jake broke the silence before you could, as if he knew you had finally mustered up the courage to say something. “Jake. I don’t think I love you anymore.” You said before he could finish his sentence.

Fuck. Why did I say that?

You turned to face him. Maintaining this distance from him was difficult considering that when you were around him, you felt pulled to him like magnet meeting metal. For the first time tonight, you met his eyes. He still had his usual puppy-like gaze, but instead of glistening with cheerfulness, it was pleading to you to take back what you said. You wanted so badly to break eye contact, but you had already gone too deep. So you stared at him with cold eyes, concealing the sorrow and regret you were truly feeling.

“W-what..?” Jake was paralyzed by those seven words. 

“I’ve been feeling this way for a while. I don’t know when or how it happened. Something about us just shifted.”  This is good, y/n. You thought to yourself. Just keep it vague. “All I know is that we don’t work anymore. And I don’t see myself being able to put in the effort to make it work.” Ouch.

Those words felt like daggers stabbing into Jake’s heart. He felt like throwing up. Was it something I did? He thought to himself. He combed through his memory, trying to find where it could’ve gone wrong.

“Don’t you think you owe me an explanation?” Jake didn’t even try to hide the desperation in his voice. “It’s been a year and a half and suddenly you’ve fallen out of love with me? Y/n. Be honest with me. With yourself. Is this about me going on tour?” Jeez, he knows me so well. He grabbed your hands, you could feel his grip tighten as if to stop you from slipping away. “Y/n we still have time before I leave. I have weeks of promotions and practice and-”

“Some things don’t have an explanation.” You slightly raised your voice. He instantly dropped your hands, shocked at your tone. “I- I’m sorry, Jake. Thank you for the past year, but I don’t think I can do this anymore.” 

With that, you walked away, leaving him to process a conversation that felt like both 3 seconds and 3 years. You wanted so badly to turn back, no, run back to him and take back everything you said. But you knew Jake knew the truth. You knew that he was more hurt by the fact that you lied straight to his face. And you couldn’t bear to see him shed tears that you caused. You remind yourself that this is for the better. His promotions are starting soon. He’ll be busier than ever. It’s best to start learning how to live without him sooner than later. Right?

-

Time had passed and you had lost all contact with Jake completely. 

It had been a difficult and exhausting two months for the two of you. School kept you busy and had you up late. Jake especially felt empty and even more tired after rehearsals without your support. The thought of not hearing your voice everyday was enough to keep him stuck in bed on his off days. 

You were convinced that you were over him. Sure, he slipped in your mind every so often, but that’s only natural. You had any reminders of him blocked. Twitter, Instagram, iMessage, WeVerse. You name it. Out of sight, out of mind. You hadn’t even talked to any of the other members even though you missed the rest of them dearly. Sunoo, Jay and Riki especially reached out to you, but you owed it to yourself to cut any reminders of Jake out of your life.

However, today especially, the three of them had been blowing up your phone. You finally gave in and answered.

You huffed into the phone. “Hello?”

“Y/NNNN!!!!!” Riki screamed into the phone. “Wait y/n answered? Oh my! She answered. Jay, Y/n answered! Speaker, Riki. Speaker!!!” You heard Sunoo exclaiming in the background calling out to Jay, who had also been trying to reach you.

“Hey guys.” You let out a small laugh. “What’s up?”

“Okay. Just hear us out, okay? It’s our last concert in Korea before we leave for the rest of our tour. Please come, y/n, please, pleaseeeeee.” Riki begged.

“Yeah Y/n you better come. I know you and Jake broke up but what does that have to do with us?” Jay took the phone out of Riki’s hand and yelled at you through the phone.

“Please y/n, we miss you.” Sunoo added.

You chuckled. “I miss you guys too. And I’m sorry about not reaching out to you guys. But I’m really busy these days. And wouldn’t you think it’d be inappropriate to go to my ex-boyfriend’s concer-”

“YADA YADA YADA EXCUSES.” You’re cut off by the three of them yelling into the phone.

“BLAH BLAH BLAH” You hear Riki yelling.

“Guys. I’m serious-” You say.

“Nope” Riki says.

“But I-”

“Nope, nope, nope.” Riki says. “We’ll text you the tickets, kay? See you there Y/n”

“BYEEEE Y/N!!!!” You hear Sunoo exclaim in the back.

“Riki no!-” You get cut off once again by the sound of the call ending. You sigh, but a smile creeps up to your lips. How you missed them.

I mean, I’m over Jake. I shouldn’t let one person dictate my relationship with the rest of them, should I? They are my close friends after all. You think to yourself. You look down at your phone and are greeted by two notifications from Jay.

“Here’s the ticket, y/n.” It reads.

And in a separate text:

“By the way, don’t worry about Jake. He’s fine! Come if you’re comfortable but we’d really like you there. Besides, he won’t be able to see you in the crowd. Xx”

You smiled at Jay’s sincerity. Fine. I guess I’ll go.

-

The crowd was bustling with fans. You make your way through the crowd and find your seat. Once you situate yourself, the lights dim and “MANIFESTO: DAY 1” is spelled out on a screen in big letters….

You have to admit, the concert was pretty fun. You watched as the members sang and danced and ran around on stage. Riki found you in the crowd and you watched as his face lit up with excitement. He got Jay’s attention and he sent you a sweet smile from the stage. You could see that they truly were passionate about what they did, and were totally in their element. Jake especially. He looks so happy. I’m glad. You thought to yourself. And you truly did mean it. You could never wish anything bad upon Jake. All you could ever ask was that Jake was happy. He doesn’t deserve anything less. And Jake was happy. Despite not being with Y/n, he knew that this was something he worked so hard for. He also knew that wherever Y/n was, you were proud of him. 

You felt your heartbeat quicken each time the choreography had Jake in the center. Even when the formation had switched and he was in the back, you felt your gaze linger on him for just a few seconds longer. You practically knew their songs and choreography like the back of your hand. How could you not? You spent countless days and nights helping Jake with his vocals or facial expressions. The only songs you were unfamiliar with were their new songs from their most recent comeback. Jake was everywhere because of their latest comeback so you had avoided it completely.

Suddenly, the atmosphere of the concert had shifted. The lights stopped flashing and instead a single spotlight lit up the members. The crowd roared as the seven of them caught their breath and sent heart gestures to their fans. 

Jungwon took a step in front of the members and began to introduce their final song, “As you all know, we played a major role in preparing for this album.”

“Yup, some of us helped with the album designs, the choreo, and Jake even got to write some lyrics!” Riki said.

The crowd screamed, chanting Jake’s name. You stood, a little confused. Again, you had no idea what their new songs were.

“Jake, why don’t you introduce the song?” Jay nudged him forward.

“Uh, haha, well.. This song, um this song…” Jake stuttered as he struggled to find the right words to say. He’s nervous, you thought to yourself. “When you hear this song, I hope that you think of a special someone. It could be us… your best friend, your significant other… anyone. Someone who makes you feel like you can take on the world when you’re together. Sing this last one as loud as you can.” He smiled.

A band of guitars and percussion followed Jake’s little spiel. The members scatter around the stage interacting with their fans as Heeseung begins to sing. It was a song you had yet to hear, but you already felt the rock-like melody tugging at your heartstrings. There was no choreography, the members were able to freely move around the stage. 

Suddenly, the beat of the song slowed, and all eyes were fixed on Jake as he began to sing the bridge. Jake sang with his eyes closed, gripping tightly onto his mic. You watched as he poured every emotion he was feeling into the lyrics he worked so hard on. Everyone around you seemed to know the words. They swayed their arms to the melody, but you couldn’t help but stay still. Sunghoon took over for the next part of the bridge, and Jake opened his eyes, only to see you staring longingly at him in the crowd. He felt his heart stop as he met your gaze. Suddenly, a crowd full of tens of thousands of people tripled down to just you two. It was once again his turn to sing, and he began to walk forward, as if he was singing to you, and only you. 

“Stay, stay, stay you make it better,” the crowd jumped as the beat dropped. “My life without you is a misery.” Jake sang, his eyes fixed on you. He couldn’t even finish the last line — thankfully the crowd filled in what would’ve been an instrumental of guitar and drums. The mere sight of you in the crowd had taken his breath away. At this moment in time, language felt foreign to him.

You felt a lump form in your throat, and your eyes became glassy with tears. Jake wrote those lyrics about you. No. For you. But you realized it was too late. You knew he wasn’t gone forever. But, that’s the part that hurt the most. The two of you knew that deep down you still loved each other. And yet, a few words left unsaid cost you the best thing you’ve ever known. 

But maybe some things are better left unsaid, like goodbye. Perhaps not saying goodbye is closure enough… Or perhaps not saying goodbye leaves a possibility of a future for you and Jake.

[aesrot]

I cant be normal about rolan having a stinger bc throat body horror is my baby girl im sorry it bulges and twists in his throat and he can taste his own venom and hes choking on it and he spits up bloody film if he drinks too much or eats too much meat and its stuck in his throat and its pulsing and writhing and it Needs to get out and he coughs and chokes and he doubles over the toilet in the middle of the night just agony and he spits up a watery mix of blood and viscera and venom and it feels awful and he feels worse than when he goes to bed but at least it's out and he can Breathe.

during the first weeks or months its literal torture, sensory hell, he can feel it and he can taste it and he's always aware of it, it only builds up until he has to run to the toilet and spit all of it out, and his mouth is bitter, it burns a little and it tastes vaguely like blood and flesh and it makes him sick. it takes him so long to get used to it, and even after he does it still gets too much sometimes, and he's always worried that it grosses the other out, even if they always reassure him its ok

[numbaoneflaya]

yall ever been on your period and get a charley horse in your vagina and butthole at the same time. I may jump

[willowwhispersspeakeasy]

I never considered that. When he wad a angle he would have only had one and after the fall he gets two??? Poor baby would shut down not knowing what to do. Fuck I need a fic of that XD that would be so funny. Levi im so sorry XD

okay see that is genuinely hilarious but also: the fucking body horror of that like Jesus Christ.

gore and body horror warning below the cut

this is why we don't ask the horror writer for crack headcannons im so sorry

poor Leviathan, probably in fucking agony, pulling the rotted and broken bones of his completely destroyed wings from his back. flesh mangled, screaming in pain and horror at his current reality. halo snapped in half and burned into his skull branching and splitting like coral as it fuzes to bone.

crying in pain and just begging it to stop, please, just let it be over. imagine growing a tail twice the length of your own body, blood and scales scratching at already wounded flesh. bones snapping as his spine literally elongates and continues far far outside of the body hes accustomed too. the skin stretches and scales peel, all he can see is blood, all he can feel is pain.

in this moment, Leviathan's very existence is a wound.

and then he looks down and his genitalia has doubled like, of all the cruel jokes, shouldn't this punishment be sent to another one of his brothers? hasn't he suffered enough?

as he heals its just going to add to his hatred and disgust with himself. his resentment for his brothers. the ones who kept their wings, and Belphie's tail is much less long and unruly then his. it doesn't shed its skin either and make a huge itchy mess. never mind Satan who never even had to experience the change from angel to demon.

sure Double Dick Levi is really fucking funny to imagine and sure people find it sexy (absolutely no kink shaming y'all) but if we looked at how it would actually affect his character... it just adds to the tragedy in my opinion.

[forthehpfanboys]

Gold Strings & Red Picks- PT 1

Pair: Ron Weasley x Reader; he/him.

Summary: The Weasley's invented a band! Having a band, means you need a band manager; someone to help find venues, gigs and sponsors. After finding one, Ron seems to be hopeless drawn toward them.

Warnings: flirting, swearing, bickering, sexual tension??, Punk Pining Ron but also Smug Ron, naming a guitar ‘Cherry Popper’, dm me if I missed any.

Notes: I plan on having some chapters kinda spicy. I made an entire gif for this and yes it is Rupert playing 👀 and god is this self indulgent. Hope you guys like it!

~DO NOT REPOST ANYWERE~

-

It was a Friday morning when you quit the Static Dragons and posted the news on every piece of social media you had. It didn’t take long for you to edit your bios to state you were looking for a new band, and it managed to catch someone's eye just as quickly. It was Monday evening when you got a dm on Instagram from a user called ddchrmrs-official. The user basically sent you a paragraph about how he was the lead singer of a band he and his siblings threw together and they were looking for a new manager. You agreed to meet with them and talk about the potential of the band and he agreed, using more than a few explanation marks after his reply. He even sent you a few of their songs once he deemed you worthy enough.

So, you found a dining hall, an equal distance from your house and theirs, and with the lead singer's approval, Fred, you booked it for Tuesday afternoon. Fred even made a post explaining the good news- why he was acting like one of the Weird Sisters followed him back, you weren’t sure. You couldn’t help but be excited too. The songs were good- more punk-rock than you assumed from the band's name. Something about the name Daydream Charmers gave off a softer, boyband type.

The day of the band meeting couldn’t have gone much worse. You missed your morning alarm, you couldn’t find your laptop charger and the clothes you picked out the night before ended up covered in stains from breakfast. GPS even gave you the fastest route and you still managed to be 10 minutes late, but you managed to find the right hall. It was a bit different compared to the pristine image shown on the website.

The roof looked like it was caving under an invisible weight and the actual size of the hall looked like a small barn. The walls were made of red and black bricks, most of which seemed to be chipped, broken or bending, like it was being crushed. The door frame was slanting, the door’s white paint was chipping, the sidewalk was splitting at almost every corner. You were desperately hoping the building was enchanted so it was bigger (and nicer looking) on the inside.

You parked your car on the pebble covered asphalt, right next to an equally old and rusty blue car. You had no idea how four people, a sound system, a bass, an electric guitar and a full drum set fit inside of the small wagon, but figured they managed to spell the inside bigger. You weren’t bothered by it- how could you be? You felt your wand hit your laptop inside the bag as you threw it over your shoulder after climbing out of the car. Shutting the door, you hurried up the broken concrete, shoving your keys in your pocket.

You chewed on your lip, adjusting the collar of your shirt as you approached the door. A smile pulled at your lips at the refreshing sound of genuine laughter and bickering. You had an internal battle of whether you should knock or just barge in. It sounded like they were having their fun and you didn’t want to interrupt anything. Soon enough, the laughter was dying down and someone was strumming a bass quietly, practicing a few chords from one of the songs Fred gave you. You raised a fist to knock on the door and the silence that followed was close to defining. Soft footsteps followed the silence and you swore you could hear soft breathing behind the door before it was yanked open.

“Hey! You made it! We were worried you got lost on your way here.”

You weren’t expecting to be face to chest with an individual. Their band's logo was printed across the front, red letters with a gold outline that clashed drastically with the bright orange fabric of the tight shirt. You tilted your head up, meeting cocoa brown eyes and a crisp white smile. His ginger hair was spread across his shoulders, his ear lobes were pierced with two shiny black flat stud earrings and the little white nostril piercing on the left side of his nose was reflecting the sunlight.

“Fred?” You asked, matching his smile. You could tell he had fun, you could sense it. His arm raised, inadvertently showing off his muscles, and rested against the door frame. 

“The one and only.” He grinned, clearly just joking. Before he could say anything else, he was rudely interrupted by a foreign voice behind him. Fred’s smile dropped into a frown like he was suddenly slapped across the face.

“Is it the pizza guy?” The voice asked from somewhere behind him, excitement clearer than crystal. Fred looked over his shoulder to respond.

“No, Ron. That’s not for another twelve minutes.” He rolled his eyes after looking back at you and letting out a loud sigh. “I’m sorry about him. His appetite is larger than Big Ben and it literally never stops. Anyway, I hope you like pizza! I tried to message you about it.” He pulled his phone out of his front pocket, unlocking it and scrolling through his messages and swiping right on notifications he didn’t care for.

“I was using my phone for GPS. Must’ve missed the messages.” Your hands slid into your front pockets, your weight shifting between your feet as embarrassment began to settle in. Maybe this wasn’t the best first impression. Before you could think about it too long, a low whistle was resonating from beside Fred.

Without warning, Fred was being nudged aside by a slightly shorter ginger, his piercing blue eyes staring into yours. They didn’t stay there very long though. They slowly dragged down your body, taking in your form, and his head tilted in appreciation.

“Oh.. I’m not gonna complain about the pizza when Merlin delivered us a cutie.” He gave you a dizzying side smile. “What’s your name, sweetheart? Surely, it’s something as handsome as you are.” Just as quickly as he appeared, Fred was pushing him back, faking a gag while driving the unnamed individual back with Fred’s hand against his forehead. 

“Ew! Ron, down! Seriously? Keep your yap shut! He’s our new band manager and I’d actually like to keep this one, thank you.” Fred groaned, a sneer pulling at his lips. He blocked the smaller ginger from the door with his body before turning back to you with a sigh. “I’m sorry. He’s usually not like this. Usually he’s moping about his ex-” You could see Ron jumping behind Fred to get another look at you. The reaction had you snorting into your hands.

“Fred. Fred, move, mate. I wanna see ‘im again!” The ginger whined, tugging at his older brother's t-shirt. He was dodging around Fred’s constant moving hands to get one more peek at you.

Fred let out a groan, his head falling backwards in agony before letting out a loud “George, please help!”

“Wait! Wait, wait!” Ron’s voice matched the panicked hand trying to hold onto the door frame before it was hilariously slapped off the wood and was dragged into the mystery hidden behind the lead singer. His begs and pleas began to echo and soften which you thought caused you to giggle a bit. 

“I’m sorry. We’ll put a muzzle on him or something. Come on in, I’ll introduce you to everyone.” Fred shifted out of the door way, allowing you to enter the hall. It was bigger on the inside than the outside, that much had you relieved. Fred shut the door behind you with a satisfying click and let you soak the place in while he sat himself down on a velvet red coach. It was dimly lit, about half the lights were on, and the walls were painted a light tan, which easily could’ve been mistaken for white, if white wasn’t used for the tiling. 

Next to Fred on the couch, was a girl with long, slightly darker, ginger hair. Her hair went well past her shoulders, and a bright orange base sat on top of her crossed legs. She had gone back to laying a few chords once you entered, just relaxing as her two brothers basically wrestled each other.

“Ginny, this is (Y/n).” Fred spoke up, pointing from his sister to you, then back to her. (Y/n), this is the youngest Weasley in the family, Ginevra.” Fred smirked, but it turned into a pained expression when she landed a hard slap to his chest.

“Except if you call me that, I will break your legs. It’s Gin or Ginny, nothing else. It’s nice to finally meet you, (Y/n). Fred hasn’t shut up about you.” She smiled at you, reaching a tattoo covered hand out to shake yours. 

“Really?” You couldn’t help but grin. You shook her hand proudly, knowing it was probably your reputation that kept the oldest Weasley in the band chatting up a storm. “It’s nice to meet you too, Gin.” You gave her a cheeky grin before turning to the other side of the hall, noting another Fred standing in front of Ron, who was sitting in a chair quiet grumpily. 

The double picked up a deep red guitar covered in stickers and shoved it into Ron’s lap, causing the younger to gasp out a wheeze. It was obvious he had chewed Ron out for his behavior, but nevertheless, he gave his unplugged electric guitar a few strums, which seemed to satisfy Fred 2 because soon enough he was storming back to the couch, shaking his head the entire walk there.

He sat himself down on the arm of the couch, right next to his doppelganger. His arms crossed back over his chest once again. Fred 2 had the same length hair, different piercings though. He only had one set of black earrings, but had an industrial across his left ear. He had a straight line of freckles across his cheek bones and right across his nose. The spots went down his neck and across his forehead. 

“He’s bloody useless.” He grumbled out, his snake bite moving to the right as his tongue ran across it. “Oh, hi!” Fred 2 scooted over to the edge of the arm rest, reaching his hand out to shake yours. “You must be the band manager! I’m George, Fred’s twin bro-”

“Younger twin. I’m the oldest.” Fred interrupted, smirking again as he pointed a thumb to himself. His smirk dropped when he was smacked in the chest again- by both George and Ginny. 

“I’m his twin brother. Ignore him, he has a God complex.” George rolled his eyes, smiling at you while he shook your hand. He pulled his hand away before scooting back to rest his back against the back of the couch. You could tell he wasn’t comfortable, but  he seemed dedicated to the spot. “I’m sorry you had to meet Ron the way you did. Usually he’s tamer than that.”

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh, your gaze turned down to your shoes. Your cheeks were beginning to heat up as his flirting rebounded through your head again.

“Nah, he wasn’t that bad.”

“I wasn’t?” Ron’s sudden voice behind you had nearly jumped out of your skin. You spun around, your backpack strings nearly catching on one of Ginny’s bass strings. You swallowed down a squeak. “Georgie was trying to convince me I was being inconsiderate and rude and that mum would smack me if she saw.” He was still holding the guitar by the neck, and that was when you noticed the bright gold strings with a red pick trapped between them.

“Well, it’s not like you were asking about my shoe size… “ Your eyes landed on the hands holding the black neck of the instrument and you couldn’t help but gawk at them. Rings covered his finger knuckles, veins popped out from beneath his skin. “Wow.” You didn’t mean to verbally gawk over the hands, so you had to force your gaze down to the instrument and ignore the urge to stare at the pale, freckle covered skin that was making your mouth dry. 

You shook your head, looking at the shiny strings. You had you stop yourself from reaching out and caressing the polished neck, the textures strings and hidden pick. It was clearly loved and carefully taken care of.

“Beauty, isn't she?” Ron grinned, showing off the red body drowning in decals- most of which were bright orange Quidditch themed or terrible chess puns. You almost forgot to check if they were a muggle band, but this told you enough. “My best friend got it for me, he’s a blessing. Mum didn’t approve, of course, said we all had better purposes, but dad said rock on.” 

“She really is. I’m guessing you named her?” The second the question fell from your lips, the three sharing a spot on the couch groaned in agony, but Ron was grinning in pride.

“Of course I have! Her name is Cherry Popper and she’s the love of my life. Unless,” Ron was taking a step closer to you, a twinkle in his eyes as he continued speaking, “you plan on cha-” His flirting was cut off suddenly.

“And that’s enough of that! Please sit down and, for the love of Merlin’s beard, rename the damn thing!” Ginny cried out, almost knocking her own instrument straight into the tiled floor. She ran a hand through her hair, her free hand holding the bass hard enough to make her knuckles pure white.

“I mean, come on! Name it something classic like ‘Bertha’ or ‘Jasmine’, or, and here’s my personal favorite, don’t name it at all!” Fred waved his hands while he spoke, counting the names on his fingers before doing jazz hands at ‘don’t name it at all’.

“Fred, that’s hypocritical. You named your mic.” George spoke up, pulling two white marble drumsticks from his jeans pockets and began to spin one between his fingers. 

“That was a joke.” Fred stuck his tongue out at his twin. “At least I don’t do it seriously. And leave Echo out of this.” Fred ripped the non spinning drumstick from George’s hand, holding it out of his twins reach.

“Shut up and give me Crystal back!”

“No, if you wanna talk about terrible names, we can talk about the band's name! Merlin, Fred, were you sky high when you made it?” Ron shot back, his arms crossing over his chest, one still holding the guitar.

Knowing this kind of fight could go for a good while, you slipped past him, patting Ron on the shoulder while you walked past while a pained gasp rented the silence that flooded the hall. You set your backpack on the white table, opening the zipper and pulling out your laptop. You sat down, pulling the laptop onto your lap before opening the notepad application.

“I made the name! And dammit, I think it was clever! It even has a unique backstory! At our school, we had a um- small business and it was quite successful. By ‘we’, I mean George and I and by successful, I mean we run an online joke shop. I thought it fit the shop pretty well.” Fred held a look of pride- a smirk was, once again, drawn across his lips as his eyes twinkled.

“Mate, it’s horrible.” Ginny spoke up, not even bothering to throw the truth as a curve-ball causing two of her older brothers to nod in agreement. She copied Fred’s movement by yanking the drumstick from his hand, but handed it to George, smiling at him. 

“Why couldn’t it have been something cool? You named your shop something cool. Why’d you give the band something’ shitty?” Ron rolled his eyes, leaning his back against the door, the guitar balancing on his sneakers and leaning against his ripped jean covered legs. His attention didn’t stay with his siblings for long. Soon it was shifting over to you, like he was naturally drawn toward you. He grinned at you, sticking his tongue out. The little gold ball stamped into the middle of his tongue had your full attention.

You swallowed thickly. The ball and his guitar strings were the exact same color and reflected the same light. You felt butterflies fill your stomach from the simple action and noticed, almost suddenly, the ginger was actually quite attractive and funny. You sucked on your tongue, hoping the blush across your cheeks didn’t give too much away. Ron looked back at his brothers, his side grin screaming he basically saw your body temperature rise.

“I was led to believe you all loved the name, but no! I’m starting to think you guys are just trying to embarrass me in front of the (Y/n), but since you think it’s so easy, come up with a new one.” Fred cried out, crossing his arms over the printed long sleeve t-shirt, and was pouting like a child now, sinking lower into the couch.

“It makes us sound like a cheesy boy-band going after 12 year olds.” Ginny scoffed, propping her bass up against the couch. She looked over at her slightly older brother, nodding her head in Fred’s direction.

“It does. We could’ve been Fire Wicks.” Ron pointed at Ginny and the teaming up began. “Or like Solar Skips.”

“Or The Red Bloods.” Gin nodded, pointing back at Ron while her other hand pulled out her phone. The game was ‘Who-Cares-If-It’s-Bad-Let’s-Prove-Fred-Wrong’ and you could tell it was for shits and giggles. You were going to pitch in an idea, but someone beat you to it.

“Or FireBolt Bitters.” Spoke up George, who was now gazing up at the ceiling, shaking his head in mock shame, but you could see the edges of his smile growing at the corners.

“Ooh, I love that one!” Ron leaned over, stretching his arm as far as it could to give  George a high five, before turning to look at you. He grinned at your confused expression. “Are you writing these down?” He pointed at your computer before giving you a wink. The butterflies came back, doubled in strength, and you couldn’t help but laugh. You shook your head no, laughing louder when he waved his hands in a panicked manner. “Write them down, mate!”

You rolled your eyes, typing random shit down just to please the younger one. Your eyes trailed across the dumplings, noting three quarters of them were smiling. Fred’s crabby expression made it was clear he didn’t get picked on very often.

“Charlie texted saying ‘The Copper Horntails’ would’ve been better.” Ginny said, looking up from her phone. She dropped the phone onto her lap, wincing a tad when the device collided with the instrument on her lap. She quickly forgot the pain and leaned back, enjoying her brother's pain.

“You asked Charlie?!” Fred squealed loudly, his hands holding his head. Right beside Fred, George had begun to tap his sticks together, improvising a beat to go with the arguing.

“You know what? That’s a great idea! Let’s ask Percy next-” yelled Ron over Ginny’s laughter and Fred’s agonizing scream. His smirk only grew when Fred tossed his head back. 

“Ok, damn! I get it! But I already made t-shirts so deal with it.”

“Fred, we have magic. We can always change the print.” George piped up, tapping the white wooden sticks against his thighs in some random pattern, his head nodding to a beat. He shrugged his shoulders, not focusing on his words all that much,

“George!” This time it was Fred’s turn to smack George in his chest. He glared at him before leaning over to whisper in his twin's ear. It was something you couldn’t make out, but you figured they were debating over your status. You rolled your eyes, reaching behind you.

With a clear of your throat, you gained their attention before pulling out your wand from your backpack. While waving it, you locked eyes with Ron, playfully chewing on your lip to try to hide your smile.

“But-” Fred scrambled to grab his phone. You knew he was going to pull up one of your profiles to show none of them mentioned magic or wizarding or anything.

“The quidditch stickers were a dead give away.” You pointed to Ron’s guitar with the tip of your wand before putting it back in your bag. “That, and the tiny blue car that somehow carried four band members, and all of their equipment even though, that should’ve been impossible. I do enjoy Firebolt Bitters, though.”

Your own smile grew when the siblings broke out into loud snorts and sniggers, save for Fred’s. Ron walked over to you, and you were sure his cheeks were hurting from how hard he was smiling. He laid his arm across your shoulders, pulling you into his side as he faced his band members.

“I like this one.”

A smile stretches across your face as your cheeks get warmer. Out of everything to come out of today, this was something even the strongest and most willed seer’s couldn’t have predicted. It wasn’t even half past noon and you’d already started to develop a crush on a punk guitarist who shares a band with his siblings. You were clueless on how you were going to do your managing and keep it strictly platonic when he grinned at you like you were everything he wanted.

[whump-captain]

No. 22 - They made me do it

cursed | demon | obsession

(1200 words, OC)

i wonder if this is comprehensible lol cause im not sure if i want this to be canon or not and the reason is that it ties into another story i have in my head and that one's pretty lore-heavy and sprawling and these characters would literally be on the very edges of it, barely involved. idk. it's long again.

---

CN: possession, seizure, knifepoint, blood, glass in mouth, panic attack, paranormal happenings

---

Elaine's had a bad feeling for days already when she gets the text. Cutter messages her in the dead of the night, two words: "Coming over". It makes her sigh but she does have to admit she appreciates the warning. It only took one mention from her that she's not a fan of unannounced visits for him to cut them out completely; sticking to texts or phone calls instead or giving her a heads-up with a - usually excessively wordy - text. Tonight, though, she's tired and on edge, so she misses the uncharacteristic brevity. Until the doorbell rings and she opens to see him leaning on the door frame, face pale as ash, his smile a ghost of the usual one. "Sorry," he breathes. "Didn't know where else to go."

She opens her mouth to answer but suddenly he doubles over; Elaine moves to catch him and feels that he's ice cold to the touch. His skin looks wrong too, it has a strange, dull sheen to it, like plastic.

Or like glass.

"What's going on?" she asks through a dry throat. She leads - no, more like drags him inside; his knees wobble, he clings to her for balance.

"I've just-" The reply comes, fragmented by heavy breaths. "Just felt like shit all day and then- Then I felt-" He barks a cry of pain and his body seizes. It feels like something inside him rips. Every muscle tenses at once and refuses to obey him, he half-registers Elaine catching him again. Horrible tension builds inside his lungs, like a scream he can't contain but the voice isn't his. It burns, just like his skin burns now, every inch of it, converging and culminating over his sternum, right in the center of the scar.

Elaine jerks back when he convulses. Her mind throws a hundred words a minute at her, each more frantic than the previous. Seizure? Stroke? Injury? No, none of those. She sees his eyes roll back and the whites are glittering, reflecting light like multifaceted glass.

This is no regular seizure.

Cutter's body thrashes out of her grip, inhuman force tears her hands off of him. But he doesn't fall. Something holds him rigidly upright, back arched, head thrown back as his mouth moves around a soundless gasp. For a split second, his face twists into a grimace of silent agony; then it falls completely blank.

When his voice comes, it's not fully his. Something else contracts his vocal cords and pushes out his breath, forming warbled, wheezing, barely human words:

"The waiting is over."

Lightning-fast, Elaine draws a dagger. Pure silver glints, in a blink it's at Cutter's throat. He shudders, but the voice keeps repeating those four words, falling now into a rhythm.

"I cast you out of this body," Elaine says, clear and strong. "By the touch of silver, by the trill of song, by my word as master of this dwelling; I cast you out."

She whistles. Four short notes; one high, two repeating, one low. The chant falters, thrown off its melody and Cutter's body sways as the presence inside it swells in furious frustration.

Elaine stands statue-still. Her arm is raised, the dagger doesn't even twitch.

"Leave," she says.

She feels it all at once. Raw emotion rushes over her like a waterfall, mixed and twisted beyond recognition. The flash of blinding anger makes her breath catch - and then it's gone. The last chanted word fades along with a faint but unmistakable pang of the deepest sadness.

The ghost is gone.

Cutter drops like a de-stringed puppet. Elaine is down with him in a dash, her hands hovering, unsure what to do as adrenaline seeps out of her. She's an expert on the supernatural; but what does she do when it's gone? Cutter's convulsing again, this time with a violent coughing fit. It sounds like he's suffocating, gasping between the coughs, and blood stains the floor below him where he holds himself up on trembling arms.

Then a small clink sounds out. Along with the blood, he spits out a polished shard of glass.

Elaine's stomach sinks. Memories rush to her and she hates being right; hates remembering the ghost that almost killed both of them, and hates the reminder that she has not truly defeated it. More glass glitters on the floor and she knows that Cutter understands now, too, because his eyes grow wide with raw terror. His gasping stops, as if someone bound his throat, and he's shaking in complete silence, blood dripping from desperately clenched teeth.

He's hyperventilating, Elaine realizes. What does she do? What would Joy do? What would-

She pulls the dagger again and shoves it into Cutter's hand. "Hold this."

He looks up at her and the veil of fear shrouding his eyes tears slightly. He inhales suddenly and then he's gasping again - but different, a fraction more controlled. She closes his fingers over the blade, careful to only male him touch the flat of it.

"It's my silver dagger," she explains. "I cast out the ghost by invoking silver, a song, and my power over the house. The house itself was probably enough, but touching silver is good as a redundancy, because it's physical. I cast it out three times, so that took it from a threat to a command, which made it harder for it to disobey, because it was in my domain. The song was to ground me, mostly."

As she speaks, Cutter's eyes do not leave hers. His breathing grows slower and quieter, he finds its rhythm once again and latches onto it as the shivers begin to calm. He says, in a voice that is hoarse and shaky but undeniably his:

"Are you using my own techniques on me?"

At that, Elaine releases a breath of her own, a heavy sigh of relief and, she realizes, exhaustion. "You said that explaining your methods calms people down," she says.

He did say that, months ago, when she asked how the hells he managed to stop people from freaking out at the bare mention of ghosts. She dismissed him then, saying that the ghosts he deals with aren't real, so surely it can't be the same. She likes being wrong, she decides.

She sits back on her heels and Cutter does the same, leaning heavily back onto his arms. He's panting now like he ran a marathon but with what breath he has he manages a short, raspy laugh. It has a hysterical edge to it, but Elaine is glad to hear it nonetheless. If he's grinning like an idiot again, then maybe the world isn't ending.

"Elaine, you are so fucking smart," he says.

She responds with a small smile of her own, tired but there. "Spare me."

"I'm serious." He lets his head drop forward, still unsteady in balance. "I'm not just flattering. You are so bloody smart and we're all going to die without you."

"What?"

He sighs and his ashen face takes on a look of vague annoyance. "I think the world is ending."

[dameronology]

the one where he doesn’t listen (poe x reader)

summary: poe dameron + ‘i think we should take a break’ ‘you’re right - we’ll get some food, cool down and then we can talk about this’ no, i mean a break from us’

warnings: language 

i PROMISE i am working on some fluff, i know literally everything i’m writing at the moment is angst but like 80% of my requests are for angst...and i just hope u guys are okay lol love u 

enjoy,

- jazz

‘Would you just listen to me?!’

You ignored the calls of your boyfriend, violently kicking open the door to the air hangar. You stormed inside, a scowl on your face - you didn’t notice Jessika and Snap jump back at the sight of you. You breezed through the base, boots thumping into the concrete floors, steps like thunder. You couldn’t even look at Poe - you might throttle him otherwise.

You usually embraced his rebelliousness. His courage was one of the many things you loved about him - but this was your mission. You were the commander. It was a different story when he was ignoring your orders. The whole operation had been blown up because he couldn’t listen for once in his life. 

‘Baby, please-’

You stopped in your tracks, and Poe crashed into your back with a grunt. You turned to face him, and for a split second, he held out his arms. The action, however, was quickly retracted when you jabbed your finger into his chest. He silently thanked whichever god was up there that looks couldn’t kill - if they could, yours would have been a weapon of mass destruction.

‘The one time I need you to listen!’ You snapped. ‘The one fucking time, Poe!’

‘I said I was sorry-’

‘- sorry doesn’t get me my mission back!’ You continued, cutting him off. ‘Sorry doesn’t change the fact you ignored me. Sorry doesn’t change the fact you went against my direct orders!’

There was a little bit more to it than his disobedience. You weren’t a superior behind a comms link, barking orders at him. You were his partner - the one person you’d hoped would be the exception to his insubordination. That was what was causing most of the fuel behind your rage. 

Poe bit his lip, nodding. ‘I’ll make it up to you.’

‘How?’ You snorted. ‘You find a time machine and go back and unfuck this up for me?’

He grimaced, hopelessly scrambling to find something - anything - to say that could possibly calm you down. ‘I’ll explain it to Leia. I’ll take the fall.’

‘That was gonna be the case anyways.’ You murmured. 

Poe reached out to grab your hand, but you swatted it away. 

‘Don’t.’ You shook your head. ‘Look, I’m gonna go to my quarters and get the mission report done. I need time to think - and maybe a wall to punch.’

‘Wait,’ His mouth dropped open, and that was when the magnitude of his actions finally seemed to click. ‘This isn’t gonna change anything is it, for us?’

You knew the us that Poe was referring to - and he didn’t mean your professional relationship. He meant the us, us. The us that had sneaky kisses and escapades in broom closets. The us that laid together at night in each other’s arms, discussing everything from from work that day to theories about the deepest, darkest galaxies. The us that might have been the only stable thing in Poe Dameron’s unpredictable life. 

‘I don’t know.’ You sighed. ‘I just need time to think.’

You paused, the volume of the situation beginning to cause the descend down a slippery slope of misery and rage. 

How could he do this to you? You knew that the flyboy was capable of some exceptionally dumb things, but this one took the crown. This was the grand finale that completed The Chronicles of Poe Dameron’s Dumbassery (patent pending). 

Poe grabbed your arm, glancing around at your co-workers. Most of them had left the room when you entered - news of the mission had quickly spread about the base and people did not want to get in your way. Even Threepio had made a point to not go near you. Still, the pilot dragged you from the walkway and towards an empty space behind his X-Wing. The ship was splattered with dents and chips from the TIE fighters that had chased you out of the planet you’d been on. Perhaps that would be the epilogue in the aforementioned book.

‘Baby,’ his voice almost broke, desperate as he grabbed your face in his hands. ‘I would give anything to go back and undo what I did, literally anything, but I can’t-’

‘- I know you can’t.’ You moved his hands, momentarily intertwining your fingers. ‘It can just be so exhausting, Poe. I love you so much but you don’t think about the people around you.

You moved away from him, propping yourself up against the ladder of his jet. Your feet swayed back and forth for a moment as you thought. You were hurting- teetering on the edge of pure insanity, ping-ponging between your intense love for the man in front of you and your frustration at the situation.

‘I think we should take a break.’

You knew that you didn’t mean it. The second the words left your mouth, you wanted to swat them out the air, throw them to the ground like dead flies. Some childish part of you just wanted to scare him, to make him feel what you’d felt. 

‘You’re right,’ Poe nodded. ‘We’ll get some food, cool down and then we can talk about this-’

‘- no, Poe.’ Your voice cracked slightly. ‘I mean a break from us.’

‘You’re breaking up with me?’

‘No, not a break up. Just a break.’ You stood up.

You saw the hurt on his face; the anguish, the torment. More than ever, you wanted to wrap your arms around him; to hug him, to run your hands through his stupidly soft hair and hold him and promise to hurt whoever it was that was causing his distress. But it was you. Was love always this much agony?

‘I gotta clear my head.’ You whispered, slipping by him as you walked away.

--

A few hours later, you were even more angry that you had been when this whole thing started. You were no longer just enraged at Poe - you were now pissed off with yourself. Why had you said that? Why had you let the heat of the situation push you over the edge and say such stupid things?

Three hours without Poe by your side felt like a lifetime - a long, sad, empty lifetime. You’d been sat on your bed, handing resting on the empty space where he should have been. You were still furious at him but that didn’t mean you wanted to be without him.

You let out a sigh, watching as BB-8 circled the floor in front of you. He’d followed you back from the hangar, beeping something about relaxation methods. But aside from that, he’d been pretty silent. You felt like he was a kid who’d seen his parents have a fight. 

‘Where is Poe?’ You asked quietly, moving down to kneel in front of the droid, fixing his antenna. ‘In Finn’s room? I know right, where else?’

Grabbing the nearest jacket from your desk, you tugged it over your shoulders. As the heavy leather fell over your torso, you realised it with Poe’s - he’d lent it to you on your third date. It occasionally lead to a few awkward situations where you, Finn and Poe all turned up wearing matching jackets, given that the pilot had also gifted one to his friend. 

You made your way to Finn’s quarters, BB-8 rolling behind you. He’d perked up a bit at the prospect of his parents you and Poe working it out. Nobody liked to see you guys fight. You knocked on the door twice - usually, you were close enough with Finn to walk in unannounced, but with the given circumstances, you didn’t want to just swan inside.

A few seconds later, the door opened, and he greeted you with a smile. ‘Y/N!’

‘Hey, Finn.’ You greeted him. BB-8 nudged past his leg, rolling inside without waiting for an invitation. 

‘Poe’s inside.’ He said, stepping aside. ‘I’ll give you guys some space, but please don’t do anything in my bed.’

You rolled your eyes. ‘Finn.’

‘Just saying!’ He ruffled your hair as you walked by.

Poe was sat on Finn’s bed, a holopad in one hand and a cup of caff in the other. He’d clearly heard the exchange at the door and was trying to play it cool - something at which he was failing miserably. 

‘Hey,’ you greeted him quietly. You gently took a seat on the bed next to him, pulling the holopad from his hands. ‘Wanna talk?’

‘Is there much to say?’ His voice was cold, and you almost did a double take.

‘Poe,’ you sighed. ‘I don’t want to break up, or go on a break, or whatever it was that I said.’

His brown eyes lit up slightly, and he finally turned to look at you. The last three hours had been equally painful for him - he thought he’d lost you. There was a lot of things that terrified him but there was nothing that scared him more than the idea of life without you by his side. He would have rather gone up against Kylo Ren with a pencil for a weapon than let go of you.

‘I got caught up in the heat of the moment,’ you continued. ‘You hurt me, and I think I was reaching for something that might make you feel the same.’

‘Well, you made me feeling something that was deep, dark and pretty terrible.’ Poe tried to joke, but he couldn’t hide the wavering in his voice. He reached to take your hands in his, and your heart broke when you realised they were shaking. ‘But that’s not a lot compared to what it feels like to lose a mission - especially because of me.’

‘I don’t care that we lost the mission. That happens all the time - it just hurts that you didn’t listen to me.’ You explained. ‘I guess I felt like you didn’t respect me.’

‘I do!’ Poe’s eyes widened. ‘I would...I would do anything for you. You know that, right? You tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it-’

‘- I just want you to listen to me.’ You cut him off. ‘That’s it.’

‘I can do that.’ A smile finally fell onto his lips. He pressed a kiss to your lips, and you felt yourself finally relax. You were going to be okay.

‘I’m still fucking furious at you, though.’ Your words didn’t quite match your actions; with one hand tangled in his hair and one resting on his face, you seemed to be more sweet than intimidating. ‘But I love you, and whatever this is, we’re gonna work through it.’

‘I love you too.’ He pulled you in for another kiss. ‘And I will never, ever do anything stupid again.’

‘I give it five minutes tops.’

[basket-of-loquats]

12 and 15 for the mdzs asks?

12. Saddest Moment

Oh boy. Uh, the first moment that I can remember really really getting to me was the scene where Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were running away from Lotus Pier, and after their whole fight and stuff, Jiang Cheng just collapses in the grass and starts just weeping and asking for his mom and then he just like, collapses in the grass, and Wei Wuxian collapses too, and we just get this shot of the camera zooming out on the field with jiang cheng and wei wuxian curled up in their grief and literally too exhausted to go on and it just. fucking got me man. 

Becuase this is the untamed i cant just give ONE sad moment, so here’s a couple more that i won’t get into but made me lose my ever loving shit: jiang cheng cradling his sister’s dead body while the fight rages around him and he doesn’t even seem to see it, wei wuxian’s crazed laughter devolving into wild sobs and eventually just screams of pain, “wei ying. come back. WEI YING!”, song lan reaching and reaching and reaching and coming JUST short of touching xingchen, xingchen screaming out a literal howl of agony as he covers his hears and doubles over himself while xue yang just wont shut the fuck up, song lan walking out of yi city and down the road alone with shanghua on his back, ok actually every moment of yi city, post guanyin temple when lan xichen is just sitting on the steps, too shocked and worn out to even make a facial expression, but too shocked and worn out to stop the tears just pouring down his face, and also that time when wei wuxian was like “let’s go lan zhan” but then he turns around and lan zhan isnt coming with him and wei wuxian’s smile just fades as he realizes. yeah that entire last scene from there to the closing shot, i was sobbing my heart out. it was quite dramatic and quite unnecessary of me but like. come on. you’re going to go through fifty episodes of YEARNING and then LEAVE EACH OTHER?

15. Any Ship You Like Besides WangXian

look if you’ve spent even one minute on my blog... you’ll know...

but besides songxiao, i like xuanli! depending on the mood im in, i like 3zun too. and /sometimes/ if it’s done right, i like sangcheng. oh, and baoyi!!! We have virtually no content for baoshan sanren/lan yi but im living for the fucking lesbians baby!!!

[cicerobussytransplant]

15, 28, 42, 43💓

orlando beloved thank you!!

15. a book rec you really enjoyed

so. ghdhdjs theres this friend who, without fail, always recs me things i love, but she always manages that from the feltrinelli economica section. idk how she does it, shes like the book finder but for poor people. and the last one was 'il peso dei segreti' by aki shimazaki. its abt the singular stories of the members of two families that survived the nuclear bombing at nagasaki, and not to enter too much in the particulars, the one story abt a woman with a double cultural heritage struggling to reconnect after decades bc of xenophobic abuse and struggled in how to connect had me sobbing.

28. a book you wish you could read as a beginner again

the bloody chamber and other stories by angela carter! literally such an enthralling read. the prose....the stories.... every once in a while i think abt the lady of the house of love and the erl king and im like. yeah i really wanna reexperience those feelings of direct brain damage

42. a book that made you want to scream by the time you got to the end

harrow the ninth by tamsyn muir lmao literally one big what the fuck is going on fest, coupled with that almost continuous feeling of 'oh fuck ive unlocked what the fuck was happening 100 pages ago' was super scream-worthy in the good way

43. a book you have read more than three times

persuasion by jane austen 😔😔 its my favourite austen book and as a teen when i went through That Phase i must have read it four times over the course of a summer. 'i am half agony, half hope' still hits me like a truck. that, and the only book to have ever existed, wuthering heights by emily bronte bc I read that book every year and im not ashamed

[azrcxlfatale]

okay pals I need advice so im gonna put all this under the cut:

so I’ve always struggled with really horrendous periods like since I started having them, they’ve always been immensely painful and heavy and have led to a lot of doctors and hospital appointments trying to find answers I just haven’t been given. today was the worst it’s ever been, and it’s got pretty damn bad before. the first time left me shaking, pale and frail in bed unable to move or breathe properly, the second I passed out in the bath, and this time around felt like utter torture. i woke up this morning to literal exruciating pain so bad I was crying out in agony like I’d been stabbed and just could not stop being sick, which of course only made the pain worse because my stomach lining was being wrenched at and I hadn’t even ate yet. this is nothing new, the pain is always like that if it’s going to be painful. what was new was the fact that I literally could not stop crying out and groaning as if I had actually been impaled by something in my lower stomach for three hours straight. nothing was working to numb it, not hot water bottle, not hot beverage, not water, not a bath, everything was just intensifying it and the pain was so extreme and I was so empty I couldn’t keep painkillers down. (that part happens frequently but normally a hot water bottle or cup of tea or bath will soothe me). I ended up in bed doubled over and whimpering breathless calling my mum and crying and all I could ask was for help and that I needed to go to hospital again. but she couldn’t get back to me from where she was at that time so I was just in agony all alone trying to magically come up with some way to make it stop.

in the end Iuckily I was so physically exhausted that I fell asleep, but god forbid what would’ve happened if I couldn’t sleep through the pain, like how much longer could it have lasted? I was on the verge of passing out already from it. I don’t know if I could’ve endured much more. now I started my period at the age of 12 and I’ve been seeing doctors ever since and I’m nearly 21 now. my doctors want to tell me THIS is normal. I know you can get extremely intense period pain, but I wouldn’t call that normal because nine times out of ten those people are suffering with underlying issues intensifying it too. but like fr? really doctors? it’s normal for your insides to feel like they’re stretching and being stabbed while tearing themselves apart and turning out on themselves? it’s normal to immediately sick up anything you try and eat or drink because pain is so extreme? normal for NOTHING that is a regular method to soothe pain or give some relief to do anything to help or work. and instead of easing it all it does is intensify your hot flush and pain? normal to end up so drained every time of the month that you have no choice but to either nap on and off or pass out from sickness and exhaustion and pain?. I just... know my body, and this does not feel right. it’s akin to polycystic ovaries and I’ve spoken to plenty others in my life about this kind of pain and these symptoms and anyone I’ve spoken to whose had the same has said it ended up being endometriosis or polycystic. now my doctors literally FOUND a cyst last time I went and got looked at but it had burst already from my being so physically sick as well and then they just never followed it up? my aunt whose fairly young still herself, told me that it took until she was 25 for them to actually diagnose her with polycystic ovaries and even then they didn’t give her a solution other than to soldier on with anti sickness tablets and pain relief (I have these things but they’re at my main home and right now I’m at my family one). like I just wish they’d listen to us about our bodies and take us seriously. I’m a whole ass lesbian who has never wanted kids and even if I did one day change my mind I’m well aware for a fact I wouldn’t have children by natural birth, if I’m ever gonna suddenly have the profound need for a child I will find an alternative way bc I hate everything about natural birthing (for me). like I can guarantee these people I do not need my ovaries. but they’ve always refused to take them out (even though they can) because it’s too “big” a decision at my “age”.

I’m just posting all this here because I know some of my dear homo’s here also suffer with really vile periods and I just am desperate for advice at this point on how to move forward if anyone has any because I cannot keep on like it. like I used to miss so much school in secondary and college because of it and now at university level in my third year and soon potentially with a career I can’t carry on doing what I’m doing to cope and expect to not have my academic life take large blows because of it.

[thegeminisage]

THE LAST 20020 CHAPTER MADE ME CRYYYYY

[crash-cinematic-universe]

Glass Kingdom

pairing: Kai Anderson/getting his ass beat by an icon

summary/request: hey bestie can u write something abt Lana fucking. beating the shit out of Kai. this is not a joke I want to see Kai get beat the fuck up by lesbian icon Lana - @neoneyez

warnings: bitch is violent, an a teenie bit graphic. blood warning, kai himself is a warning honestly. 

notes: im proud of this one. I love working with these types of requests, especially at 4:04 AM

________

          Kai Anderson is a coward. As much as he wants to deny it, as much as he hates to admit it, he’s a weak, greasy, sniveling coward. He tried as hard as he could to build up his ego, to convince everyone around him that he was some god-- hell, he made his followers call him ‘divine ruler’ and even that couldn’t make him strong. Kai isn’t the divine ruler anymore. No, Lana Winters had taken his title, and Kai was reduced to nothing more than a common freak who neglected his roots. 

          There she stood, her shadow cloaking Kai, eclipsing the small light in his stuffy basement. Ever since she left the asylum, Lana realized she was much stronger than she could ever truly understand; mentally and physically. Kai shrunk under her strength, her confidence alone making him cower with his tail between his legs. Lana Winters was everything Kai wanted to be; strong, confident, respected, powerful, the list goes on. Kai’s plan was simple: get Lana to join his cult for the influence. 

          At first, Lana was hesitant to join. She knew how abusive and damaging cults were and hated the idea of hurting someone like she’d been hurt. Lana saw through Kai’s manipulation tactics, she saw through his facade. She knew he wasn’t strong like she was, and she was going to use that to her advantage; she was going to overthrow Kai and free the members of the cult. 

          So, she joined. Initially, Kai was ecstatic, thinking that he’d managed to wrangle in one of the most powerful women in the country. Much to Kai’s dismay, Lana had barely been in the cult for a day, and she’d already gained the same amount of respect that Kai had. Respect that Kai had to literally kill for. That made him angry, but he buried that under the stress of his next big plot. The mindless drones that served Kai like he was king began taking Lana’s orders. The other cult members began to value Lana’s input over Kai’s. That’s when Kai met his limit, soon calling Lana to his basement for a ‘one-on-one conversation’. 

         It didn’t take long for Lana to overpower Kai, In fact, they had spoken for less than five minutes when Kai dared lay his hands on Lana. She swifty pushed him onto the concrete floor, knocking the wind out of his lungs. He was shocked, soon calling out for his boy-toys to restrain Lana. Two men walked into the room, took one look at Lana, and walked back out. Kai screamed, the fear now evident in his eyes when he realized he had nothing left. Lana laughed.

         “There’s something that you need to realize about me, Kai.” She says firmly, looking the blue-haired man dead in the eyes. “I’ve seen power, real, true power-- and you couldn’t handle a fraction of it. You’ve built a glass empire, and I’m a brick flying at high speeds at your throne.” The stone-cold look on Lana’s face could send any man running, but Kai was ignorant and his masculinity was fragile.

          Kai scoffs, standing up with a huff. “You’re just some common bitch with a few viewers. These people worship me like gods, they’d fall at my feet and pray to me-- you’re nothing compared to me.” Lana’s hand moved faster than Kai could register, the loud crack of her palm against his cheek echoing through the room. Kai truly couldn’t believe she’d just slapped him.

          “Let’s test that theory, shall we?” Lana growls, taking a step closer to Kai. Her fist slams into his face, the greasy man soon falls backwards onto his ass from the pure force. She’d broken his nose, he was sure of it. The pain rippled through Kai’s head, blurring his vision momentarily. Lana’s foot collided with Kai’s face the minute he regained his composure. Blood splayed on the floor, and Lana grunted in disgust. 

          “Stupid man, you got blood on my boots.” She bent down and grabbed a fistfull of Kai’s hair, trying not to gag at the greasiness of his neglected mop of hair. She dragged him to her feet. “It’s time that you become an actual bootlicker.”

          Kai moaned, blood steadily flowing from his nose as he whimpers at Lana’s feet. He follows her orders like a dog, and he’s ashamed of himself with every second of submission. Lana orders Kai to stand, and he does. She smirks before jerking her knee between Kai’s legs, slamming into his balls and causing Kai to cry out in pain. He doubles over, backing away from Lana as she closes in on him. 

          Lana Winters isn’t a violent person, but after hearing the horror stories of what Kai put his followers through, she couldn’t stop herself. Kai was bad to the bone, Kai was a racist, homophobic, xenophobic, transphobic, misogynistic asshole with a superiority complex. With every strike, Lana thought of Ally and the way Kai terrorized her to the brink of insanity. With every smack, Lana thought of Meadow and the way Kai used her love for him as manipulation material until the day she gave her life for him. With every punch, Lana thought of Winter and how Kai was endlessly terrible to her, ruthlessly manipulative and extremely predatory. 

           Kai cried out for someone, anyone to help him, but nobody came. He knew they could hear him, and still, they stayed away. Kai lied flat on his back, Lana’s knees on his arms. She punched him rhythmically, each landed hit representing each life Kai ruined. Each person Kai hurt. Each offensive comment that would go unpunished. Kai was bleeding, a lot, and sobbing, but that didn’t stop Lana. She was riding her rage, her adrenaline, and releasing all her pent up anger on someone who deserved it. 

         Lana let Kai stand back up, only to elbow him in the jaw, making him bite down on his tongue. Blood fills the tall man’s mouth, and he chokes on it. He splutters, falling to his knees in front of Lana. The irony of the scene was hilariously painful, and Kai couldn’t take it. He began to beg for mercy at Lana’s feet, sobbing loudly. Lana didn’t let up, driving her foot into Kai’s skull.

          “Did you give Winter mercy when you strangled her? Did you give Meadow mercy when she poured her heart and soul into you? Did you give Beverly mercy when you pushed her over the edge into a state of permanent shock?” Lana slapped Kai again, the action raw and genuine. Kai couldn’t respond, he simply fell backward.

          Once Lana tired herself out, she looked down at the man below her. He was bloodied and broken and small. His glass empire had shattered. Lana gracefully walked over to the coffee table across the room, gingerly picking up Kai’s thermos full of scalding hot coffee. She removed the lid, watching as the steam twirled under the fluorescent lights of Kai’s basement. With one fluid movement, she dumped the borderline boiling liquid on Kai’s beaten face, relishing in his screams of agony. Lana trunks away from Kai, a final phrase escaping her lips and hanging in the air before she exits the basement.

         “Enjoy your latte, bitch.”