#im not straight but guys do you not realise how important they are

[thetisming]

people who exclude straight trans people and straight aspec people are my worst enemies. btw

[dirt-str1der]

I keep thinking about the mechanics for how to make kazumaji happen outside of adrenaline fuelled lovemaking , like obviously majima isnt going to solicit him for an actual relationship because whatever they have going on is already more than he expected to get because majima isnt a wanting man he gets dealt his hand then he plays (plus hes waiting for someone else , he cant leave and have his story end with kiryu , they both know this) , kiryu isnt a wanting man either i mean not for his love life but you know this guy fights like hell to get what he wants. He doesn’t exactly have a problem pulling girls but its the commitment after thats the issue , he always has someplace to be thats not here no matter how suave and charming he is youre gonna be wondering why he ghosted you for three years then find out he just got released from prison the point is that he doesnt follow through. Once youre done with him then youre done and very rarely is he gonna come back (unless he wasnt actually done with you). Majima offers to help him out in osaka and kiryu says no no no see ive left you behind i have to live this next chapter of my life properly now , without you. He has this inability to understand that people want to spend time with him thats not him helping them / repaying him a favour / working together to achieve a common goal. You literally cant assume he’ll be around you really have to cling tight or he’ll find some reason to fuck off and by then you cant even ask him to stay because Shit is it a good reason. Y0 nishiki got so so fucking close to showing kiryu he didnt need to have any redeeming qualities for people to like hanging out with him. He didnt need to be fun or like to party or entertaining at all , just him sitting quietly on a nearby barstool and maybe clapping along is enough to make his night fun as hell. Im sure kiryu realises that he can be distant and lack initiative , im sure this self awareness has convinced him that hes an undesirable long term romantic partner , and majima fucking up big time with mirei also forces him to internalise the fact that hes not a good partner either. So the two of them have to really really Really want something to start it because otherwise theyd be gracefully and expertly sidestepping any mention of commitment , pirouetting around the word “partner”, assuming they’ve made things clear when no discussion had taken place. They dont figure it out because its obvious to everybody thats not them, all the thinly veiled offers to be useful to each other, the leaning forward when they speak to each other , the open mouthed kisses with tongue , they want each other. More than one time , more than This... but how does one communicate something they havent realised yet ...

[pxrxcxa]

Faster 

✶ One shot

Pairing | Eddie Munson x Fem reader

Post summary | Reader goes to watch one of Eddie's most important races but when a dangerous manoeuvre almost ends in disaster, she helps Eddie calm down in the only way she can.

What to expect | 18 + smut

Post Warnings | Rough M oral, spanking & just all around rough unprotected p in v (have safe S kids)

Word count | 3.5 K Word Count.

As always, any & all comments/reblogs are most appreciated - Love, P. x 🌿

Authors Note | This was a request - @im-alexnc thank you for your idea! I hope I've been able to do it justice and you enjoyed it :) I realised I have a problem (word vomit) because I wanted to keep this under a 1k WC & I legit can't! I really need to develop the skill of writing good, shorter stories - so if you read the whole thing, thank you :)

“How did you meet this guy again?” I rolled my eyes at my friend Clara; I could hear the judgment dripping off her tone even over the roar of the race cars whipping around the track at 200 miles an hour. A group of loud men wearing sports apparel with the colour of who they were supporting in the race, pushed past us messily and I had to reach out to grab Clara out of the way as one of them stumbled dangerously, almost drenching her with his beer can.

“I told you, when I was travelling last year and broke down, it was just outside this town called Hawkins.” She shot me a confused look as we found our seats along the crowded bleachers, we were on the top row with a great view as the cars rushed by at breakneck speeds and made the ground beneath us rattle, the sun blaring down on the backs of our necks as the heated metal under us burnt our exposed things in our thin tights.

“Yeah I know, it’s this small town in the middle of nowhere. Anyways.” I turned away from her face to duck and weave my head around the crowd as I tried to spot the familiar flash of red and black in the sea of cars blurring together, I squinted as the sun reflected off the mass of them as they sped around our side of the track once more. 

“And the mechanics I took my car to– Eddie was working there, before his racing career took off at least.” I smiled and ducked my chin as the memory of our first meeting made my cheeks blush, I’d never met someone so carefree and charming. So when he’d told me about his eight-round championship played out at racetracks across North America, my travel plans had taken a slight detour. 

“He’s the reason you haven’t come back to college?” She guessed, disapproval colouring her features. 

”I’ll come back eventually…” I dodged, avoiding her eyes. 

Clara pressed her lips together in frustration as the lie left mine, she smiled and wrapped her hands around my arm to pull me into her side, mumbling that she missed me. She was on a quick weekend break from school to house-sit for her parents, and I’d been lucky enough that Eddie’s race this week had been in the same state. Looking down now at the matching scar on her arm that we’d gotten together at the tender age of ten, when we tried – and failed – to jump across the river near our childhood homes, made me miss her agonizingly. I didn’t, however, miss her habit of being brutally honest. 

“I’ve heard race car drivers are all arrogant man whores.” She pressed her lips together, eyeing me suspiciously as her gaze fell on a group of girls nearby that had less clothing on than if they’d been wearing bikini’s, screaming as they waved their signs madly. 

“Well not Eddie.” I said with conviction, the image of his flushed, exuberant face when he’d see me after a race, stealing my mind. 

“You sure about that? How well do you really know this guy?” Her words sent an unwelcome picture of Eddie surrounded by a similar group of fawning fans straight through me. 

“Well enough.” My snarky response was cut off as the intangible feeling of competition spiked and the smell of excitement soaked into the air, the buzzing bodies packed in around us shot up in their seats, cutting off my view of the track down below as the racers began their final lap. 

I jumped up from mine, pulling Clara up with me as I bounced on the tips of my feet over the crowd, peering down as the cars looped around to our end of the stadium. The ground reverberated as the sound of their roaring engines sped towards us. 

“Which one is he?” Clara shouted over the loud jeering, tilting her head near mine. I bit my lip as my eyes roamed over the blur of colours weaving in and out of each other, my stomach clenched with anticipation as the unforgettable pattern of Eddie’s car slipped through the neck to line up with the leader of the pack. The dark car in the lead revved his engine violently as Eddie closed the gap between them. I dug my nails into my friends arm as the distance between the two race cars turned non-existent, their wheels practically pressing in on each other. 

“There, the red one.” I groaned and pointed, not tearing my eyes away from nail biting scene in front of me. 

“Damn, he’s gonna win.” Clara’s voice was filled with surprise before it turned to horror, because for a split second, it looked like he had. The official had leant froward from the starting post and raised the chequered flag as the cars raced towards him, Eddie’s inching forward every millisecond. 

It was just a piece of cloth with black and white squares on it, but the flag meant more than everything to Eddie, he’d do anything for it. 

I wasn’t professional driver, but I had eyes. Just as Eddie threw his throttle into full power mere feet from the line, the driver next to him eased off of his and nudged the nose of his car into the back side of Eddie’s as he dropped back behind him.

The entire arena held their breath as if, in almost slow motion, the clang of metal on metal surrounded in our ears and Eddie’s car began to turn the wrong way. 

It was a testament to his skills the that unlawful move didn’t send Eddie spinning horrifically across the track into the barricade. Smoke billowed out beneath his tires as he slammed on his breaks and spun the wheel as his car swung back and forth, redirecting it’s power as he unbearably came to a standstill facing the oncoming race cars.

“Shit.” Clara’s words were drowned out as an internal scream locked it’s self in my jaw as I watched, frozen, as the speeding cars slammed on their own brakes and swerved to miss the red race car stopped in the middle of the track. 

I hadn’t realised I’d closed my eyes until Clara gently pinched my arm, rubbing it soothingly as she muttered over and over that he was okay. Not believing her, I peeked through my lashes to spot the flag being waved as the other cars crossed the finishing line, I swivelled my head to watch Eddie as he sped towards his pit stop, barely slowly to a full stop before he ripped himself from the driver’s seat and tore his helmet off, his long curls pressed to his forehead in sweat. His shoulders sagged in defeat as his crew chief clapped him on the back and the rest of his team swarmed out towards the car. 

I spun back to Clara quickly and pressed my keys into her hand before weaving my way through the thickening crowd. 

“Where are you going?” She shouted out after me as celebrating patrons slipped between us. 

“I’ll meet you back at the hotel for dinner like we planned.” I yelled back as she disappeared into the crowd, hoping she’d heard me. I headed straight for the back steps that led to the exclusive motorhomes for all the drivers, shouldering my way through rough hands that shoved me back and trying to avoid getting nabbed by TV crews and journalists, until the moving crowd thinned. Looming security guards blocked my entry with angry looks until I pulled my lanyard free from my shirt. With muttered apologies they waved me through the barricade, quickly stepping in behind me to cut of some reporters to that tried to follow. 

I headed straight for the portable trailer plastered in Eddie’s teams logo as I side stepped the other drivers that stood in random places surrounded by interviewers and cameras, jogging up the metal steps as I paused with my hand raised against the door, the sharp noises inside breaking through my concentration.  

The loud crash of breaking glass and his low swearing had me walking through the door cautiously as I stared at the surroundings. The overhead cupboards were callously strewn open and dazingly shards of glass were littering the wooden floors. My gaze flickered up to where Eddie was cowering over the bench as he brought up a glass full of dark liquid to his panting lips, drowning the entire thing until the last drop. 

“Eddie?” I muttered into the silence as I pulled the door shut tightly behind me sliding the lock into place to douse us back in darkness. 

I jumped as he spun around to lean against the counter, facing me. He was still in his racing uniform, his helmet tossed into the corner of the couch beside him. I ran my eyes over his clothed chest as it heaved, imagining the taught muscles beneath it. I gulped nervously as I met his dark and heavy gaze staring straight though me. 

“Damn Fernani.” He yelled, smashing the empty glass in his hand against the tiled wall behind the sink, I flinched as the jagged pieces ricocheted across the bench, waiting for his breathing to even before I carefully crossed the space between us. 

“You okay?” I asked hopelessly, already knowing the answer. 

“Of course.” He snapped, meeting my eyes with a scathing glare. “He almost killed me andstole my win.” It was clear what Eddie considered a worse crime. 

I reached up to cup his cheeks as I stepped lightly over the broken glass, tracing my nails across his parted lips lightly. Eddie’s eyes fluttered closed as he reached up to grip my wrists. 

“I know you’re angry.” He scoffed against my fingers as he cocked an eyebrow sarcastically. My stomach knotted as my own frustration flared up at his attitude. I pressed my hands tighter against his skin as his eyes flew open in surprise. 

“I know you’re angry.” I repeated, angling my face closer to his until I could taste the whiskey coating his lips. “So let me help you with that.” 

His stare flew up to mine as I breathed the words between us. In a flash he ripped my feet from the ground, making me wrap my legs around his waist as I lost the feeling of steady ground beneath me. The multiple layers of padding between our bodies made me groan out in frustration as I grinded down against his hips. His lips latched onto mine roughly as we both fought for control, Eddie winning easily as his tongue slipped in sneakily to caress mine.

I twisted my fingers in the knots of his curly hair, tugging softly as he wrapped his arms around me tight enough to crush my bones, but I didn’t complain as his lips devoured me. Glass shattered underneath his boots as he walked across the floor with me still wrapped around his hips, saving me from the dangerous pieces. As if we were both trying to outdo each other, our moans turned loud and heated as he slammed me into the far wall, grinning against my chest as I cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. 

“Fuck y-“ He pulled his mouth from the top of my bra as his hands traced my nipples through the lacy, itchy fabric. 

“Watch it.” He cut me off as he crushed his lips to mine again, trapping my bottom one between his teeth as he bit down lightly as a warning, his eyes starring daggers into mine as I whimpered against him, submitting to his anger for the night. 

I dug my nails into his shoulders as he pinned me against the wall, using his body weight to hold me up as he untangled his hands from me – only to quite literally tear my shirt off of me. He stole my yell of protest from my lips as he wrapped me back up in his arms and turned away to drop me down onto the comfy couch that lined most of the back wall. Eddie stared down at me hungrily as I pouted up at him through my lashes, reaching out to caress his raging boner that was struggling against his thick cargo pants as he towered over me. 

“You really wanna help?” He smirked, fumbling with the buttons of his pants as I sat up on my knees, leaning forward on the pillows as I reached out to hold onto his thighs to steady myself. 

I moaned seductively in response and chewed on my lip as Eddie ate up the sight in front of him, swearing as he fumbled with his pant line. My tits swelled over my tight half cup bra as I played with my nipples through the fabric, waiting for him to reveal himself to me. I giggled and leaned forward slowly to replace his frustrated hands with my experienced ones, slipping the buttons through the holes until I could slide down the zipper, exposing the dark stain on his boxes from the pre cum leaking from Eddie’s tip. 

He threw his head back with a deep groan as I freed him from the thin material of his boxers, running my hand slowly along the length of him. I flashed my eyes up excitedly to watch the moans of pleasure tumble from his lips as I slowly licked from the base of his cock all the way to the tip, flicking my tongue around as I lapped up the pre cum dripping from it. 

“Fuck… you’re a tease.” Eddie reached down to tangle his hands in my hair, knotting it together as he tried to pull my face forward. I splayed my hands up against his stomach, swirling my fingers in the soft tufts of hair that trailed down it as he pressed his hard tip against my lips angrily, feeling for an opening. 

“Open your mouth.” I gasped and gagged as he shot forward into my face, forcing my lips apart as he slid his whole cock down my throat ferociously. My hands fell from him as one of them moved to tickle his balls and the other wrapped around his thigh to keep me steady. Tears sprung to my eyes as Eddie snapped at me to look up at him, spit pooled in the corner of my mouth as he jerked further into me. 

Embarrassingly erotic sounds filled the room as Eddie fucked my face, I moaned as he gripped my chin, helping me keep my jaw apart as the size of him began to make me ache. I couldn’t do much as he had his way with my mouth, but I swirled my tongue around the throbbing veins of his cock as he thrusted and faltered over me. 

“Fuck, you’re so pretty like that.” I looked up through my heavy lashes at his flushed face, soaking wetness pooled in my panties as I watched him come undone over the feeling of me. He reached down roughly to wipe the corner of my bruised lips before leaning over to slap my ass, my cry of pain was muffled as he spanked me a second time, leaving a raw, red handprint behind. I stumbled forward on my knees slightly as he wrenched my panties up between my ass, the taught fabric rubbing against my swollen clit as Eddie purred down at me squirming on the ground in front of him.

A trail of spit rolled down my chin as he pulled his cock, glistening and angry, from my mouth, he slapped it against my cheek as I let my tongue fall from my between my teeth, reaching up to stroke it as he grinded into my hand. 

“Gonna make me cum, fuck baby. C’mere.” He ripped himself from me to reach down and wrench me to my feet, spinning me around and knocking me against the couch. I gasped and leant forward on my elbows on top of the back of it as Eddie positioned my body how he wanted. Emptiness pulsed between my legs as he smacked them apart, reaching between them to rub at clit trapped beneath my tights. Eddie pushed down on my back as I moaned and grinded down onto his hand, begging for more. 

“How bad do you want me?” He grunted, the couch lolled beneath us as he moved to press in behind me, rubbing his dick into my clothed entrance as he pushed down on the back of my head, twisting and tugging on my loose hair as I arched back further into the air for him. 

“Bad Eddie – please.” I didn’t have to plead for a second longer as he pinched a piece of the fabric covering my ass, and ripped it between his fingers, tearing the fabric away until he had exposed my pussy waiting for him excitedly. He ran a finger over my wet panties as I shuddered beneath him. 

“All for me? You like it when I’m angry, don’t you?” I bit down on the pillow pressed into my face as he tore the pink fabric to the side and ploughed into me, ignoring my screams as the size of him spread me apart. Eddie was ruthless with each thrust as he pushed down deeper and deeper, wrapping his large hands around the soft skin of my hips as I tried to wiggle away from him. His moans and gasps drowned mine out as he curled over me, pressing his urgent lips against my naked back, leaving tingling kisses as he trailed down my spine. 

“Faster.” I moaned against the pillow, pain shot through my skull as Eddie wrapped his hand in my hair and ripped me up from the couch. 

“Say that again.” He demanded as he slowed his pace, thrusting further into me instead as I whimpered and twitched beneath him, his cock was thrusting awful things into my mind, thoughts that would make the devil blush. 

He let go of my hair to snake his hand around my chest, pulling down on my bra as he tugged and pinched at my hard nipples, smiling against my skin as I screamed out his name. 

“Say it.” But I couldn’t, as his hand moved around the front of my thigh to trap my clit between his fingers, rolling it back and forth under his professional hands, I collapsed to pieces, feeling my orgasm hurtling full speed towards me like a freight train. 

I turned my head to the side as I gasped out between the moans Eddie’s fingers were electing from my body, twisting far enough to make eye contact with him. Sweat rolled down his neck and disappeared beneath his racing jacket as his curls shook with each of his movements, chagrin flowed through me as I realised that he was still practically dressed and I was entirely ruined beneath him, my thin clothes torn to shreds strewn across the floor. 

His eyes entirely darkened as they glanced up to meet mine. “Faster.” I gasped; my eyes fluttering shut as he turned frantic. The skin between our bodies stung as he reamed forward into me, sending shocks of unlawful pleasure with each thrust, the sound of our bodies becoming one echoed around the room and probably the whole stadium, our moans turning into a chorus of pleasure as I screamed into the cushiony fabric and Eddie groaned my name. 

I moved my hand to replace his between my thighs as he moved to grab both of my hips, pulling me back to meet his as his orgasm rippled through him, he tensed against me as his breath fell from him in huffs, caressing my skin as my own fingers sent me hurtling over the edge. He clamped down on me to hold me in place as I tried to shoot forward away from him, the combined feeling of him realising his load inside of me and my pulsing walls was almost too much. 

Eddie gasped and laughed as he pulled himself from me, I slumped in a heap against the pillows drenched in our sweat, feeling streaks of his cum drip down my legs as we separated. I turned over to my side, pulling what remained of my tights from my legs and sneakily using them to clean up the gift that Eddie had left on me. I scowled and leant forward to rip the cigarette from his lips as he went to light it. 

“You were supposed to quit.” I berated, laughing as he pulled me across his lap, running his hands with a feather light touch over my body as I gazed up at him, happy to see his carefree smile back in its rightful place and that I’d helped rid him of his anger. 

“Screw Fernani and his trophy, I’ve got an even better one right here.” He smirked. 

“Are you calling me a trophy girlfriend?” I scoffed, raising my brow at him as I returned his smile. 

“Actually… I was thinking more trophy wife.” 

Eddie Tag List } @mayafatimakhan @edwardmunsonsslut @lacrymosa-24 @mavex @fckyeahlames @harrys-tittie @eddieshot86 @sl-tfor-joseph-quinn @eddiemunsons-missingnipple @chickennug90 @miss-momma-drama @stardustmunson @luceneraium @eddiesgffff @sammararaven @nightless @dotslabyrinth @relocatedheads @princessbubblehoe @muggleluna @sagittariughs @gloryekaterina @e0509 @prettysauceyy @urlivingdeadgirl @crimsonsabbath @lem0nb0iii @callsfromshe @lelenikki @bebe0701 @bratckerman @the-tacos-unite-blog @extravagantplant @plethoravellichor @justmesadgirl @corrodedcorpses @fanfictioniseverything @callsfromshe @im-alexnc @marsrox @eddie-swhore @kge01-blog @eddiemunsonsluvrrr @estellabookreader @sadbitchfangirl

Also Readers - if anyone is looking for a slow burn Eddie x y/n, check out my Opposite Ends series :)

Copyright © 2022 by P.McCann

All rights reserved.

[justcallmesolll]

My silly little top tens

yeen rambles #10

stealing this idea from the wonderful @whitestorm4prez bc originality is dead!!!!!!!!!!

anyways ive only read the first arc but most of the major shit was spoiled for me on the internet.

#10 Thrushpelt. i love him!! he's such a nice guy. i feel really bad for him for his one-sided love of Bluestar. she missed out frfr. but even when Bluestar makes it super clear she doesnt like him, does he hold a grudge? no. does he resent her? no. what does he do? become her friend instead. amazing man.

#9 Darkstripe. i think he's both the most hilarious and fucking balling my eyes out sad villain ever at the same time. dude just got fucked over most of his life. i mean i find him sily because every time he tries something, it fails horribly. but at the same time, he's got fucking no-one. he's alone. no friends, nothing. the one guy he trusted with his life turns out to not even care about him at all. i mean seeing him scramble to revive what little there is left of tigerstars plan, seeing everyone leave him, him realising that nobody was truly on his side. his last moments preaching for a dead man who never cared for him. his life being over like that. he never did anything meaningful, and he died like that. im gonna write more abt this a some point but yea!!

#8 Tallstar. his character arc is one of the most heartwarming things ever. yes, he was a shitty leader, but do ya know what? he grew as a person. he changed and made himself better. i also think him and Jake r cute and i LOVE the headcannon that he thought fireheart was jake coming to save him and his clan.

#7 Bluestar. RIGHT OK. i know i say i hate her but by god how can i not like her at the same time???? i mean all her life was just horrible shit. and she stuck through it. i know she was a real bitch coming towards the end of her life, but she stayed, stone faced and understanding to most cats around her. tigerclaw was just the straw that broke the camel's back. but most of her life she was so awesome.

#6 Cloudtail. i think hes such a silly guy!!! he's a big hot-headed atheist!!! silly guy. him and brightheart are so cute together. and yea thats it literally hes just silly thats why i like him

#5 Longtail. I LOVE HIM SM OMGGG the fan service he gets is so good. but the most important thing is his character arc. from being a bully, but all round loyal cat, to desprately trying to prove his loyalty to firestar by any means possible. longtail thinks that firestar sees him as disloyal, but firestar proves him wrong, asking him to come on the journey with him the relationship between them is so nice to see.

#4 Greystripe. what a guy. hes amazing. he puts up with firheart way more than he should have to. i mean fire is a straight up dick to him alot of the time and he sticks with him like a loyal friend. i love him hehehe

#3 Ashfur. if u cant tell already, i like villains. i like Ashfur alot actually. cant help feeling bad for him. mans had a rough time. grew up without a mother, was practically ignored by his mentor, when he finally found someone who gave him a little attention who does undeniably treat him like her mate, she just turns around and goes "yeah no lol i was just w u to make brambleclaw jealous lmao." he was plunked right on his head and left alone with no-one to care about him. the only person who slightly cared about him was his sister, and she was too caught up in her own shit to help. its the sticky feeling you have knowing that if he were just cared for right, he could have turned out just fine. instead, he was neglected and left to become what he did.

#2 Hawkfrost. i love the fan service hawk gets honestly. im a huge fan of the artwork he gets. hes cool. i like the idea of him feeling the need to prove himself to his father. but yea hes just cool thats why i like him tbh.

#1 to absolutely no-ones surprise, my #1 fave warriors character, is SOL. hes so silly. but no fr, hes the funniest fucking villain ever. he sucks ass at being a fucking warrior and he comes accross the clans and is just like "yea yk what im gonna fuck with em." he literally gaslight gatekeep girlbosses all 4 of the clans and he actually gets away with it. i also just like his whole asthetic, and THE FUCKING FAN SERICE HE GETS???? HOLY SHIT ITS SO COOL. i swear you cant make Sol fanart look bad bc hes just so fuckin cool. silly little guy!!

[imjustabeanie]

Hey hi hello!! I'd like to request a match up with someone from Obey me and bungo stray dogs if that's okay.

She/her and straight.

Personality/habits:

I get described as 'gremlin-like' and chaotic, and I can't really deny it. I'm usually pretty energetic and tend to have an optimistic point of view. I get nervous when meeting new people, so I starting talking a lot and really fast too. I always try to be the clown of the group and I think it's because I crave constant attention and validation. I have a habit of speaking pretty loud which just adds to that.

I'm ENTP, 7w8, Chaotic good if that's any help.

I also have a pretty good memory and seem to remember almost every single conversation with my friends word for word (im just trying to think of things to write about at this point..).

I'd say I can control my emotions pretty well, I've never snapped at my friends. It's hard for me to stay still so I fidget a lot. It's like I always have to be doing something.

My hobbies/interests:

I like writing short stories a lot. I just find it so cool that I can pour my emotions into a story then re-read it in a few months and relive the feeling.

I like baking as well! It's a nice way to pass time and the results are even better.

Love languages:

My giving love language is physical touch while my receiving one is quality time.

I'm pretty clingy and I like to hug people from behind. Literally any form of physical touch makes me happy. But when I get pushed away it's kinda like heart break for me. I feel kind of overdramatic when that happens.

Spending quality time together is a must. Idc how, where or when, I just want to be with the person I like. Let that be watching a movie together, cooking together or just talking. Quality tike makes me feel wanted and loved, so it's really important for me.

As for deal brakers: I'd say it would be being taken for granted. I'm a people pleaser, and when the other person doesn't appreciate the things I do for them. Also I hate being told to "calm down". It makes me feel annoying and too much.

I couldn't think of anything else to write so I hope this is enough ^^

Thank youuu

Howdy! I don't write for BSD and it's only one fandom per match unless it's an appearance matchup.

Your obey me match is....Satan!

You and Satan are an explosive but loving couple. He never takes you for granted and encourages you to express all your emotions and not just bottle them up. And you teach him new ways to express them. Overall you two help the other improve.

Your chaotic personality is something he really enjoys. It's funny and adventurous so he'll always hype you up for it. He's rather intraverted but enjoys the casual outlings. He's invited to many places and always takes you as his plus one or try to get into places he knows you'd enjoy.

Satan keeps up with your fast talking easily, he understands you just get nervous or excited. He's used to it by Levi...Your jokes also make him chuckle. Once he realises you crave attention and validation, he'll give it to you more often. He understands the need for validation too. Satan also tries to help you by showing you don't need to be the clown of the group to be accepted. Just be yourself and whoever stays is a real friend. The rest are just aquaintances. Yes it's ironic given his title as lord of fools.

Satan likes your good memory! You're so attentive to what he says it just makes him feel all warm inside. He feels at ease with you. He also highly encourages you to write. He's a pretty harsh critic but it's for your own good.

Satan isn't a very touchy guy. It's gonna take time for him to warm up like that! And he's pretty private about it too. It doesn't mean he'll push you away, he just won't initiate in public. He'll explain this boundary to you so there won't be fights/he won't upset you. He pushed you away the first time and instantly regreted it. It resulted in a long discussion where both your boundaries were set. Besides that he likes baking with you! He's a good cook and overall, he likes doing domestic things with his lover.

[theinsanereg-1]

Have some lore for insane reg <3

Warning contains murder, blood, throw up, etc (there are no pictures. Just words)

It was just the beginning...(part one)

May 27th, 2013

...

I-it...

It was a regular day... Like no other..

Well at least.... That's what I thought...

You see... I had woken up like I usually do...

You know... Being woken up my Right Hand Man... After only going to sleep at 3 in the bloody morning due to overworking myself....

Either way it's not important. The point is.

It seemed to just be a regular, normal, simple day...

But little did I know...

It'd turn out to be the worst day of my life...

I was peacefully minding my own business... Flying the airship to our destination... The Toppat clan Space orbit... Alot of people thought it'd be the best thing to happen to clan... It would've been....

Anyway... Back to the point..

I was driving the airship when suddenly I heard a noise...

CRASH

I looked at the window to see it had smashed..

I then saw some man had crashed threw it.... In some plastic ball? Confusing. I know.

I panicked a bit... I saw the government helicopter flying just in front of the airship and immediately knew he was one of their subjects... I know this as it wasn't the first time they tried to bring the clan down.... As much as I wanted to fight... I couldn't..

People underestimate me

..

Say I can't fight... And that I'm weak..

I'm not weak.. I'm just a coward with anxiety that's sensitive and gets scared easily... At least I used to be...

I remember my Right Hand Man say to me.

"Go Go! I'll 'old him off!"

I immediately listened to him and ran off.. I didn't know where to go so I basically just ran in a straight line.

I remember hearing on the radio my Right Hand Man say to the Toppat Members.

"Toppat security alert. Watch out for a guy with a big plastic ball....no im serious.."

I smiled slightly... I loved hearing his voice... No matter what the situation was.. To be honest... His voice was rather gruff and aggressive but I like it... Maybe its because I like him... No..

I love him... And he loves me... We always have and we always will..

I can barely remember what happened next... All I knew is that I was getting chased by the manic.... Ugh... How I fucking hate him for what he did...

I ran down the corridor... I activated the security doors hoping It could stop him.. But no.. Of course it didn't... I ended up running into the hallway that leads to the cargo

...

RHM had dropped down.. He'd probably been following through the vents and pipes... He was sly and sneaky like that... Hence why I used to call him 'my fox'

I truly loved him...

I ran into cargo and closed the door with my keycard, I leaned on the door, sweating and panting. Even though I'm fast doesn't mean I'm fit... Not to mention I was running for my life..

I heard them fighting... It sounded brutal...

I heard a chainsaw rev up... I tilted my head.... One thing I knew is that RHM doesn't like chainsaws... So why would he use one..? But that's the thing... He wasn't the one using it... I had realised this... That's when me and the other members in the cargo heard something... The last thing I'd ever heard from RHM... But before that I opened the door to look.. I wish I never had...

I heard rhm scream and saw the bloody mess he had become... Half his face was basically missing.... Including his eye... It. Ugh... I was dangling out of his face... It was still attached but not in its socket... I felt sick... He was bleeding everywhere... That's when the guy had cut off his entire arm, he screamed and cried... The one thing I've never seen or heard him do... Obviously I couldn't blame him...

Although he was probably about to pass out he got up, ready to fight... He was determined... But obviously... He was too weak. He fell to the floor throwing up blood... He'd passed out.. Cold.. Limp... I thought it was the end... The guy had dropped the chainsaw onto his thigh... Cutting off one of his legs... I felt sick and nauseated..

I wanted to throw up so badly... But I couldn't...

I screamed though, and started crying my eyes out, he came to me and grabbed my chain. Throwing me off the stairs in front of the cargo bay door, he ran over without giving me a chance to get up...

At this point I just wanted him to just take me.... Let fate take me when I go to prison... After I've answered all their questions and in useless... But I still wanted to try something....

"you've defeated me and my Right Hand Man... I surrender the clan to you..."

M heart broke and ache... But.. It was worth a shot... He thought and nodded...

I couldn't help but smile a bit... Just a bit... I still wanted to kill him.. And that was my plan... Make him leader... Gang up the other members.. Gain his trust and stab his back... Especially after what he did to my husband....god I'll never forgive him... Especially after what he did next...he got ragdolls and through them off the airship, I looked down as they dropped... But when no one else was looking... That man... He had the fucking cheek to push me off....i remember waking up on the ground... Bleeding.. Dizzy.. Sick... Their in front of me was the general... His favourite soldier and pilot... I then passed out again... I woke up in the government helicopter, my hands in cuffs.. My head pounding in pain... I couldn't help but throw up violently.... My stomach killed....the bastard took my offer and left me to die... He took my clan....

I snapped... One of my eyes were red... Due to the fact I had already snapped before... At an old friend shall I say..?..

I felt pain as I cried my eyes out... It stung... It always has on my red eye.... I felt fury and grief.... I felt pain in my other eye as it was bleeding... I passed out... Cold..

[iiudex]

eyes emoji .. i wanna hear anything u have to share abt romen and jing yuan i dont rly hsr but i am holding out my plate [hands] happy to eat [read lore]

how much do i have to pay you to play hsr 🫵 /j

JKJK NAH BUT. don’t say that bc i will literally layout every single event & idea i have for them out in the open BUT!! what’s on the brain rn is just sweet thonks so have their first meeting + random shit.

they’re childhood friends :D romen isn’t from the luofu but that’s not important. (also for ref i hc a younger jing yuan to NOT be as thoughtful as he is rn. he was a very brash lil fella very act first think later.) SO!

they met when jy LITERALLY ran into them. and i mean literally. he was doing laps around one of the many roads & romen was unfortunate enough to walk into his way at the wrong time SKSKS. cue a lil jing yuan both apologising to romen & also kinda being like “uh what are you??? dumb??” (he was very sorry dw).

they sorta just. kept seeing each other. & eventually jing yuan got interested in a card game romen was playing (by themself i might add) and they hit it off from there.

they’re v much a brains & the brawn duo. except romen is actually useless in physical combat they’re FRAGILE and FRAIL. (also lazy as hell but that’s neither here nor there). but they make up for it by being smort. so they did correct jing yuan on some techniques & thoughts when watching him train. and he was all like “?? bro literally what are you being fed” (fell in love at first sight but didnt realise until several millennia later).

ANYWAY THATS THEIR FIRST MEETING. silly boy in training runs into the local nerd from a foreign planet and they become buds. NOW ONTO MY MISC THOUGHTS!

romen was never a cloud knight originally. they’re genuinely so lazy but also they don’t like to rush things. i mean?? like?? why live life too fast to even enjoy it y’know. so they always avoided being a soldier at all costs (+ they just had no real interest). BUT! during one of the major wars they had, they got into a tricky situation (both resulted in them being immortal the same way xianzhou natives are, & them being like ‘hey maybe i should join… the army….’ just to make sure jing yuan doesnt fucking DIE). so boom thats how lil bro became the luofu’s laziest strategist.

on a funnier note. they don’t do their job. like. ever. unless things are really drastic. but even then they lay down a hella profound plan & explanation— but then when asked to carry out said plan, they’re like “nah thats not my job im just a brain, you guys do the real work”. (everyone else can see where jing yuan got his own laziness from /j)

on an unrelated note: romen and jing yuan are just kinda like. a weary couple. they’ve both lived way too long, and have seen way too much. especially with all the shit jy’s had to go through and clean up. but they understand each other :’). it’s kinda like “oh yeah we’ve been together this long. i can’t imagine what it would be like if you hadn’t been there. it’s impossible for another person to understand me the way you do.”

also idk what word to use for how deep & profound romen’s love for jy is. literally taking a job they HATE just to keep a close eye on him. learning their own form of combat just to clean up messes behind the scenes. keeping themself sane not only so THEY don’t become mara-struck, but also so they can be an anchor for jy to hold out as long as possible :( ;;; devoted doesn’t feel like a strong enough word, but obsessed feels too?? negative??? just know that they’d literally rather kick the bucket then have to live a world where he isn’t by their side 😭 (jy’s the same way btw. but ofc neither of them realise that this is. indeed. romantic love. bc they’re STUPID i have to add some idiocy in there).

also before i end this off this is its own point but i wanna make this into a comic strip one day sorta -> romen straight up came into direct contact with yaoshi (an aeon/god), as a NORMAL ASS HUMAN BEING, fundamentally cursing themself the same way blade was; yet has done everything in their power to make sure jy never finds out about it bc it will destroy him :( (-> that last bit i’ve been debating abt. bc like. oo to let him know or to not let him know. but whatever).

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE LITERALLY NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE WITHOUT PRIOR KNOWLEDGE OF THE GAME BUT GAHHHH I LOVE THESE TWO SM

[anchorandrope]

why do you believe karma is a gaylor song?

hi babe !! the real question is… why do you believe karma is a not a gaylor song?

just kidding, gonna explain it rn (btw im going to skip the repeated parts of the song like the chorus).

(You're) Addicted to betrayal, but you're relevant

"i" feels betrayed by the subject "you", but "i" knows that "you" is important.

You're terrified to look down

'Cause if you dare, you'll see the glare

Of everyone you burned just to get there

"you" mistreated "i". "you" is afraid of reviewing the situation because if "you" do so, "you" will realise everything that they burned (i.e getting rid of people or information) to put themselves on a level of superiority was unworthy because the one who actually dazzle is "i".

It's coming back around

who? the karma, ofc.

And I keep my side of the street clean

You wouldn't know what I mean

"i" is aware that they did nothing wrong and that it's "you" who is the problem.

'Cause karma is my boyfriend

Karma is a god

Karma is the breeze in my hair on the weekend

"karma" is someone who cares about "i" like a boyfriend do, "karma" is someone who listen and see what "i" does like a god, but cannot speak directly to them and is also what makes "i" feel free like the wind in someone's hair does.

Karma's a relaxing thought

Aren't you envious that for you it's not

"karma" relaxes the mind of "i". furthermore "i" asks "you" if it's not jealous that "karma" is on "i"'s side.

Sweet like honey, karma is a cat

Purring in my lap 'cause it loves me

"karma" is sweet with "i", "karma" is a cat who loves "i".

Flexing like a goddamn acrobat

Me and karma vibe like that

"i" and "karma" knows how to blend with the situation.

Spider-boy, king of thieves

Weave your little webs of opacity

"you" is portrayed as a spider (represent a curse, something that bites and with its venom has a lethal effect).

My pennies made your crown

Trick me once, trick me twice

Don't you know that cash ain't the only price?

"you" used the work of "i" to reach the level of superiority it has. "i" can trick "i" but "i" knows that "karma" is going to make "you" pay the price.

Ask me what I learned from all those years

Ask me what I earned from all those tears

Ask me why so many fade, but I'm still here

(I'm still, I'm still here)

the situation has been going on for years, "i" is not giving up and is learning and advancing more and more.

'Cause karma is the thunder

Rattling your ground

"karma" makes "you" tremble, turns it's fictitious reality on it's head.

Karma's on your scent like a bounty hunter

sooner or later "you" is going to be hit by "karma".

Karma's gonna track you down

Step by step from town to town

when "karma" shows up, no "you" is going to have a way out.

Sweet like justice, karma is a queen

Karma takes all my friends to the summit

when "karma" comes along and knocks "you" off it's pedestal, "i" and their friends will be the ones to go up.

Karma is the guy on the screen

Coming straight home to me

"karma" is someone famous (screen or big screen is used as a symbol of fame, started as a cinematic term) who will be on the side of "i".

IN CONCLUSION

"i" and its friends are supported by "karma" in the situation that "i" has with "you". soooooo… who is "i"? who is "you"? and who is "karma"? well…

now, considering taylor knows about all the gaylor/hetlor stuff (it doesn't matter what do you believe, she knows that a lot of her fans believe she's queer) i believe the song is about that discourse. okay hetlors are gonna hate me for this lmaoo but: "i" are gaylors, "you" are hetlors and "karma" is taylor swift. the song is written on the perspective of a gaylor fan.

WHY? well according to the media (and almost everyone at this point tbh) gaylors are the "bad guys" while hetlors are literally being praised for shipping taylor with ever man on this planet and for making miscarriage theories lol. besides, gaylors have been calling taylor "bf", "queen" and "goddess" for YEARS!!!

taylor always liked to disguise songs about the industry, her reputation and her closeting with songs about her "exes", it makes a lot of sense that this one is about the whole gaylor lore. also the fact that taylor ends the "the eras tour" shows (a tour that ends the era of the eras) with karma, is not a coincidence in my opinion.

anyway this is only my interpretation, im not claiming that the song is only about this !!

[kuroimarzipan]

To return the ask I was unable to answer for you: I'd love to hear your Kingmaker thoughts! Or Wrath, if you'd prefer.

HELP I MISCLICKED BEFORE I WROTE ANYTHING AND HAD TO EDIT THE POST LMFAO anyway im gonna answer for kingmaker only tonight cause i gotta go to bed and i spent too long writing shit out but i might reblog this and add answers for wotr on after work tomorrow lol

Favorite Male Character okay so i could be normal about this. i could. or i could let everyone here know that i mentally put together multiple AUs where esteem got together with dragn after witnessing like three lines of dialogue. yea the smith guy. the one without a portrait even.

BUT if i had to be more normal about it then its gotta be ekun. i just want that guy to be happy and i really enjoy how weirdly well he gets along with esteem. also he's like. the most ruthless good character ive seen in a while which i really find interesting. makes a great minister too. he just has this reassuring presence in your party like hes got your back you dont have to worry. also: dogy :^)

Favorite Female Character

okay so i went into this game assuming kanerah would be my fave and i was like. ready to finally not have to headcanon a romance and shit. and then this bitch named valerie came along. and oh my god she's such a piece of work. so principled. so hypocritical. so abrasive and easy to rile up. she's loyal because she's decided to be loyal. she turns on you for wanting to kill a guy early in act 2 and then turns BACK on him because he hits on her. she doesnt even realise shes gay. ever since she killed fredero because esteem pushed her to do it ive been thinking about it. ive not read the dialogue for her canon straight romance or whatever because honestly i dont care whatever the fuck im doing to her in my head is way more interesting to me. ive done all the stuff for her hellknight ending and im very excited heehee.

Least Favorite Character

kingmaker is interesting in that i had a really poor first impression of a LOT of the companions, but after having gotten to know them, i... honestly dont rlly hate any of them?? there's still a few companions that end up benchwarming for me bc i just like others more, but its really not been like wotr where the party lineup was so polarising for me lmao

WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED JHOD. fuck that guy. i dont even have a particular actually good reason either. i just think his vibes are rancid

Favorite Ship

specifically that moment when hegend drew his weapon and went to attack valerie and the moment combat initiated esteem hit him with the chains of light which was followed by a maximised empowered magma blast from kanerah which one shot him. that felt good

aside from that i kinda wanna see amiri and nilak reconcile at some point??

Favorite Friendship

i like that ekun the complete and utter loner was the person that taught esteem how to actually have friends instead of just manipulating people into appreciating her. i like to think he figured that out by the time his last quest rolled around. they have this kinda silent trust.

Favorite Quote

this was such a good moment to me specifically because of the circumstances of esteem having been chased out of its home because of what it is and then having tartuk tell it that it would never understand?? it was COLD AS ICE telling him that before dealing the killing blow and taking his crown. defining moments tbh

Worst Character Death (if any)

i have a feeling this is yet to come for me 🙃

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

maybe its silly but thee loyalty these two have hehehe

Saddest Moment

TBH another thing i think is yet to come for me.... i know that last act is gonna hit hard

Favorite Location

the swamp witch's hut... i actually really love the old beldame and all the lil storylines going on in that map so so much it rlly helped me solidify a bunch of important things abt esteem's backstory too lol

[luveline]

jade baby hiiii! hope you’re not getting tired of reading my thoughts on your work cause i always have so much fun writing these heheh

okay first of all your writing!!!! you know (at least i hope you do) how much i absolutely love your writing but omg it’s SO GOOD in this one!! so easy flowing and so nice to read!! the first few paragraphs where eddie is talking about how every vampire representation on media is a lie was so fun to read 😭

All they have now is debt, each other, and the Great Munson mug collection. 

He turns the pedal and your back wheel spins in time with his heart. You're awesome. When was the last time somebody who wasn't Wayne said anything like that? 

Eddie doesn't know what he thinks. Wayne sets the record straight every now and then with a clap on the shoulder. You did what every parent wants their kid to do. You lived. I can't ask for more than that. 

i love every bit where we can see how much wayne loves eddie!! the fact that we never got to see them interact on the show makes seeing it in fics so much more special 😭

the “don’t say her fucking name” line physically hurt. i really had to take a moment to breath.

He looks like a man who has been tired for a very long time. You make a mental note to bring him some lavender for his pillow on your next visit. 

r caring for wayne as well 🥺💘

Making his bracelet had been a challenge, lots of knotting and double knotting, three restarts and one small under the breath tantrum. It's not anything special, black and white hearts seven strands wide, but he'd been very appreciative. 

baby 🥺 the heart bracelets 🥺

“Sarah, I was born with butterfingers and you know that.”

okay me

"He said he's gonna throw himself off a bridge," Eddie informs. "Poor guy. I know the feeling." 

okay me again (IM JOKING)

Funny how Steve's hair speaks as much as his expression, bobbing as he nods his head to emphasise each word

baby that was SO FUNNY i can picture his hair moving as he talks and i’m obsessed with the image in my head

It's all in the way you — he says this with love — perform the words. You speak like each word you're saying has equal importance, and it's calming.

You're willing to change your plans now that he's asked to go with you. It's a gesture as lovely as you are. Eddie doesn't think you'd ever think it of yourself; your kindness is so intrinsic you don't notice it, like the fine stitching of a leather bound book. Integral and widely unappreciated.

i love how eddie likes her so much that he not only appreciates things like the way she talks or her kindness but also sees it as something like deeply innate to her and likes it even more for that

WAYNE BEING SUSPICIOUS OF THEM I LOVE HIM 😭

For a time, he'd been a normal (debatable) person having a normal (horrifying) conversation with his dad. Not a vampire. Not somebody who ruins everything he touches. 

you had no right to make me laugh with the “(debatable) (horrifying)” just to make me ugly sob with him calling wayne dad and saying THAT LAST LINE. that was actually insane.

"I know I can be a lot to deal with." “Who told you that?”

crying in a corner rn. thank u

They come apart, blood smeared in both your palms like two halves of a dripping heart. 

listen. i know it’s blood and eddie was probably losing his mind. but that was such a beautiful imagery 😭

You realise as he says it how much his wanting you to go had mattered to you. Eddie's your friend, and you don't think that you're going to stay friends much longer.

i don’t really have anything to say about that. just wanted to highlight that bit

"Steve," Eddie says, jaw dropped down to his chest, "do you have a crush on me?" 

the steddie nation keeps winning!!!

I can't believe I put you through that. I can't believe I put you through that. I'm so sorry. 

NOOO HE FEELS SO GUILTY

And for a while, Eddie hadn't felt the same. The world he'd woken up to was hard. There had been lawyers and grief and guilt and becoming. He doesn't have the words to describe how it feels to become something new, something that needs to hurt people to live, something that will hurt people to live, whether Eddie wants to or not. 

The loss of choice is suffocating. 

He can live with the grief of what he is if it means other people don't have to live with grief of what he isn't. 

it’s honestly painful to realise how guilty eddie feels about putting everyone around him through what happened even though it’s not his fault, and how he’s willing to go on and live in suffering for all his life (or all eternity? im not sure how long vampires live) just so he doesn’t have to make the people he loves go through that again. he’s always so selfless :(

"Tuned into the wrong station." 

You pet the back of his head. "Yeah," you say softly, "I think I was." 

i keep thinking there’s a deeper and secret meaning in this dialogue and i can’t articulate my thoughts around it but i’m so sure in my mind that way she says that she was in the wrong station just means she was seeing things in the wrong way until now? you can totally disregard what im saying though

You make the worst sound anyone has ever made as he moves back, like something has been ripped from you. A gutted gasp, near silent. 

“the worst sound anyone had ever made” and it’s just a gasp from breaking the kiss. i’m actually going insane.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" he asks when he gets a look at you, your unreadable expression. He takes care to keep his head angled down so you can't see the lower half of his face. 

"I don't think you could." 

STOP

He's been in here enough times to know what it looks like, but for some reason you find yourself checking his face, worried about what it is he thinks of your things, all your mismatched trinkets, your stained glass lamps, your life as you let yourselves in.

“your mismatched trinkets, your stained glass lamps, your life as you let yourselves in”. being worried about how her life seems as she lets him go into. sick and twisted

His touch is like the tide. He wades in, away. His thumb strokes inward over something soft and then his whole hand moves back to your thigh. 

‼️‼️

He's not confined to all his softest parts and he never will be. He's snarky and angry and loud. He plays guitar like a real rockstar and he doesn't take anyone's shit. He's a survivor. A glass of blood every now and then was never gonna stop him. 

that first line???? INSANELY GOOD OH MY GOD

"Least it wasn't Snoopy." 

of course there’s a snoopy reference. love u for it

jade my love that was soooo good!!! exploring eddie’s life as a vampire not only through his enhanced abilities but through all his loss and suffering and self doubting made the character so realistic (i know, he’s a vampire, but you get what i mean)!! baby you’re the best writer i know and it makes me so proud seeing you stepping out of your comfort zone and writing horror themed stories without losing your touch and your way with words and feelings!!! you’re insanely talented and i’m always thrilled that i get to read your work and to know you!! that is genuinely one of greatest joy of my life!! hope you’re being extra nice to yourself and getting enough rest and taking care!!! love u 💌 - lu

I don't ever get tired of what you think!!! Our red string of fate means you pick up on all my favourite things and it always makes me feel so special

Writing Wayne was super fun because we know literally nothing about him besides the fact that he's Eddie's guardian and he doesn't think for a moment that Eddie could do something awful, his unwillingness to give up the search in vol2 breaks my heart so it's really nice to write him with his Eddie all safe and sound

Eddie's pretty infatuated with r from the get go and not just because she's accepting of who he is and doesn't believe all the bad shit around him, he genuinely likes her and I wanted to make that distinction (like at the start when he was practically waiting for her to tell him to get gone but was trying to spend time with her anyways because he was intrigued and endeared)

Writing Eddie's voice in brackets was SO fun and so different for me, I love experimenting with third person to show the characters voice even if it isn't technically from their point of view, rest assured I made myself laugh with (debatable) and (horrifying)

Eddie feels so fucking guilty! That's basically what shaped him for me. I keep getting comments saying he was very different in this one and I kind of agree and disagree. He wasn't much like the fanon version of himself which idk if people hate that, but I think the basis of him was as true to Canon as I could get it! The basis being his innate goodness, the thing that DROVE him to feel so fucking guilty even though none of that shit was his fault, but when he goes off to be the hero in the show and "doesn't run away" that was his courage and his character showing through and so I really used that as the original thread and then built up his guilt, his humour around that. He's not as snarky as he was in the show because I felt like basically dying and going through the upside down made him very depressed and he really struggles to separate himself (though i can't take all the credit for that part because the original request wanted to see him struggle and wanted to see reader help him through it!!) From that. I love him and I needed him to have somebody like the reader character who just wants to take care of him and be his friend (and more)

Wayne being suspicious of them was so fun, I worried people might find it weird and then I was like I don't care if its weird these are real conversations people have, and Wayne in my mind is absolutely the kind of guy to be like Eddie, son, be a goddamn gentleman

That aprt about being tuned into the wring station was one thousand percent on purpose! Not so much a "Oh my god I didn't see what was right in front of me" moment, but just a you were here in Hawkins this whole time and we missed each other ! cos they're soulmates

And absolutely there's a Snoopy reference, that's my dude.

I am so lucky to have you as a friend and a reader, I fricking love hearing what you're thinking and I feel so spoiled at the end it's unbelievable, and you know I like talking about my writing probably more than I should so this is like a gently excuse /pleasure for me to ramble about the decisions I make. I think people have such different mindsets to one another that not everyone will agree with everything, but I'm lucky that we are always on the same page!

And yeah I was super psyched to dip (literally just dip) into the horror genre. Most of the time I felt like love bites was horror in the we cannot go back. my body has been changed without my asking and there's nothing i can do and im trapped kind of way rather than anything truly scary or gruesome, but I still loved doing it!

thank you my lu baby im genuinely soooooo lucky to know you and so grateful that you read my silly stories with so much love 😭♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

[madini36]

He everybody im really sry that I stalked you guys so much the last 3 days I found this app before 3 days and it was like a new universe full of informations what I stillb desperately was searching for I figured out that this tumplr is like the adult version of an social media app almost everybody is an developer or creator and have their own sites and projects i was very selfish and only was going straight to my goals im sins months completely fucked up ,confused and destroyed and yesterday was the worst because the first time my anger broke out of me what i caged like 3 months im sry for that really i just wanted to give out the same pain what i had the last months it won't happen anymore for sure not i figured out it was my fault because i didn't want to give up i couldn't give up !!! I tried to proof something what I actually already knew I just thought when I finally find the proof it will change everything and I get my better half back what I lost around 3 months ago sadly I found out it was never that better half what I had pictured in my soul and in my ❤ still I love my missing part but I know now i have to let go and il also have seen how im pictured in those drama series I just wann say yes the story is almost the same but mostly its very much pushed up I never put a hand on a woman never slapped one and also never used my strength to push one one the bed or anything like that I don't do that that's very important to say for me that was very important to say for me yaeh otherwise i wanna fully apologise that i i didnt respect your privacy on your site for me it was just a link after a link and to be honest im either a creator or developer i couldn't openyour sites I dont even know who you are i didnt even remember one of your username and also dont know who you are even if i have seen your username I know that's not an excuse again im sry from now on i will delete all my social media and promise you all i don't stalk no one anymore and i hope you see me like a desperate foul what I was and not like an personal attack on you please forgive me I will change the only thing i will use a little bit for music will be youtube and that was it i will only mind my own shit anymore everything else is useless again Im sorry i didn't realise that for you guys this i very serious have a nice evening and good bye

miss my

[lovisyandereblog]

Eyes on Me

Yandere Submissive Stalker X GN Reader

Part 3! Probably last part….maybe

Part 1 and 2 here. Also guys Im so sorry for my mistakes in my last post! I accidentally used she/her pronouns in my writing, I genuinely didn’t even realise it. Im so sorry guys!!

7 weeks. It had been 7 long fucking weeks and you were still stuck here.

Noah had kept you captive for nearly two months now, but he never let you feel like you were one.

He would gift you things you wanted nearly everyday, Noah would cook your favourite dishes for you, he would shower you with love and affection, always making sure your every want and need was met.

All he asked for in return was your love…thats all he wanted.

And it seemed like you were slowly giving in.

What else could you do?! He was so adorable, so cute, so kind, so sweet…you were slowly becoming more lenient towards him.

For example, you weren’t kicking, hitting or screaming anymore. You were eating your food rather than throwing it away and yelling. And you were a bit more welcoming to his kisses, his soft and loving kisses.

Noah was also letting you roam free in his large house. You had an idea of who he was now. Noah was a very famous doctor, and was very wealthy. He was a psychiatrist who always treated his patients with care and love, never making them feel like they were a burden.

But although he let you roam the house freely, he never let you outside.

Creak…

The door opened and you stared at it, the same sweet smile you saw everyday greeting you.

“Good morning my love~!! Have you had a nice nights sleep?” Noah came closer to you, stroking your cheek and kissing your forehead. You were so used to it at this point that you didn’t even bat your eye at his affection.

“ `Morning…” You mumbled as you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, sitting up slowly.

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you look in the mornings~?” Noah said in a sing-song voice, twirling a piece of your y/c hair with his finger.

You tried to hide your blush as you turned your head away, “W-whatever…”

Noah chuckled and kissed your cheek again, “Come! Go get freshened up and lets have breakfast! I’ve asked the cook to make you your favourite french toast!”

He looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to praise him. He practically lived for your praise and attention, but you would rarely give it to him.

“Oh..thank you Noah..Ill go get ready…” You murmured as you rushed to the toilet. Noah watched you go, hearts practically engrained in his eyes. For you. Just for you~

At the breakfast table, Noah was staring at you lovingly as he fed you the toast.

“I can feed myself…” You tried to protest, but he whined.

“P-please! Please let me Y/N…Im begging you~” His eyes were so cute, you just couldn’t help but give into his pleads.

“Fine..just stop looking at me like that…” You replied hastily, and he immediately brightened up and went straight back to feeding you.

After your 5th or 6th bite, you started feeling quite full, putting your hand up to stop the bite in Noah’s hand to come near your mouth. He nodded and ate the bite himself, smiling at you with such a lovesick grin.

You swallow nervously, looking at him. You had to ask him a question really badly, it was really important, “Noah?”

“Yes my angel, my love, my darling~?” Noah answered, hearts in his eyes as he looks at you. You had to keep yourself from smiling at his cheesy terms of endearment.

“Can you please let me go outside? I haven’t seen the outside world in like 2 months…” You complained, making him frown immediately and look away.

“Y-Y/N, you know how sorry I am…I feel so guilty baby…” Tears already filled his eyes as he spoke, making you sigh as you always gave into his tears.

“But…but I can’t let you go…Im scared you’re going to leave me. I can’t live without you my love…I’ll die!” Noah started to cry, holding your hands and bringing it to his heart. On the inside, he knew he was manipulating you but what else could he do?! He genuinely did love you so so much.

He loved you to the point of obsession.

You thought to yourself as you just stared at him, he sniffed and gave you puppy eyes. You knew you had to do something in order to get out of this place, otherwise he’d just keep you locked up forever. You wanted your life back and you knew just how to do it.

It involved giving into Noah’s love in order to regain your freedom. There was no other way. You had tried to escape in the past but he always…always found you.

“Noah…if I become your..partner..will you let me have more freedom?” You asked, and he immediately jumped up, looking at you hopefully.

“Y-Y/N?! Are….are you being serious?!” Noah couldn’t believe it, all his hard work finally paid off. You would finally be all his.

“Yes Noah, I’ve thought about it a lot and I want to start a relationship with you, but you have to promise you’ll let me go-” You had barely finished your sentence when he suddenly fainted, making you let out a loud scream.

You immediately went on your knees, cradling him in your lap as you tried to nudge him awake.

‘What the fuck??’ You thought to yourself as you check his pulse and sighed in relief when it’s normal.

“Now what am I to do with you…” You mumble to yourself before a plan comes to mind.

Paybacks a bitch…

Noah woke up with a groan, his eyes slowly opening yet his sight was still hazy.

‘What happened…?’ He thought to himself as he tried to sit up, but his eyes widened when he couldn’t move. He looked up and saw his wrists were tied together and attached to the headboard of the bed. To add to this, his ankles were tied to the bottom poles of the bed. He looked down and noticed he was now wearing only his boxers and a t-shirt.

He thrashed around, trying to get out of his restraints to no avail. This couldn’t be happening. Where the hell were you?!

Noah began to sob and panic as millions of thoughts raced through his poor little head. He started to think of how you had left him and he’d never see you again.

“Y/N!! P-PLE-HIC-PLEASEE I’M S-SORRY…DON’T L-LEAVE ME…I’LL DIE W-HIC-WITHOUT YOU!!!” He was genuinely going crazy without you, where did you go?? Why would you leave him? Was he not good enough?! He’d change for you—he will; just give him a chance!!

“Y/N!! C-COME BA—” His words were cut off by you suddenly placing a hand over his mouth, “Shut the fuck up,” You seethed, glaring at him as he looked up at you with teary blue eyes.

Where you came from, he didn’t know but he was just happy that you were here. Although he was genuinely scared from how angry you looked, he couldn’t help but feel relieved at the fact that you hadn’t left. He was so delusional that he thought you had came back for him❤️❤️❤️ (A/N he’s so weird I love him)

But he also had a little problem because of you on top of him; all of his fantasies were coming true. Oh god just ruin him already!!

He whined against your hand and tried to buck his hips up, making you grip onto his mouth even harder, “I said shut up you fucking brat, can’t listen to simple instructions?”

The mix of your strong body on top of him and your cruel words made the poor boy’s eyes roll to the back of his head as his back arched; pathetic moans leaving him.

No way….did he just….?

You look down and saw a wet patch forming on his crotch, you internally smirked at how much of an effect you had on him but you had to keep up your strict persona, “Did you just fucking cum, you slut?”

Noah panicked, his pretty eyes filling with even more tears as he shakes his head “no,” worried that you’d be disgusted with him. (He secretly wanted you to treat him like trash)

But could you blame him for cumming?? You were literally on top of him looking as beautiful as ever, whispering demeaning words at him and you expected him not to cum?

“Mmm…n-not a s-slut…” He tried to mumble against your hand, looking at you with such love in his eyes. You nearly felt bad for him.

You suddenly slap him on the face, making him whine out in pain and pleasure as he breathed heavily from the release of his mouth from your hand. You took a second to admire the sight below you:

His blonde locks were messy, bangs sticking to his forehead. His cheeks were all rosy and wet with tears as was his mouth which was covered in his drool. Noah’s big blue eyes were looking to the side, embarrassed to face you as he bit his pretty pink lips.

You gripped his hair roughly, making him whine out, “Did I say you could talk back? Did I say you could fucking look away?”

He shook his head frantically, mentally face palming himself for disobeying you, “N-no! No…‘mm sorry!! S-sorry…please…”

“Sorry’s not going to cut it pretty boy…I think I need to teach you a lesson hmm? For all the bad things you did…” You leaned in close to his ear and he could feel his dick harden again from your proximity, “….for kidnapping me, keeping me locked up here…you’ve been a bad boy haven’t you~?”

Noah had started to sob, tears cascading down his adorable pink cheeks; he didn’t want to be a bad boy!! He wanted to be good, so good, for you!

“N-no! Mm so-sorry!! I’m n-not a bad boy! I-I’m a g-good boy…your good boy!!” He desperately begged, looking up at you in hopes you’d believe him. He knew what he had done was wrong but his intentions were never bad, he promises!!

You couldn’t help the heat pooling in your lower stomach from the way he was begging, god his desperation was so hot. So what if he was a deranged, psychotic, obsessive lunatic? He was cute!!

“But you haven’t proven to me you’re a good boy…so a punishment is really needed~” You said with a devilish smirk forming on your face, making both his heartbeats race (if you get what I mean💀💀)

You lean over and open one of the drawers, an assortment of items you had bought while he had been unconscious. His eyes widened in fear and excitement as he saw you bring a ball gag to his mouth, “Mmnnoo!! Y-Y/N!!” He tried to beg but you had already sealed his mouth shut.

Then you proceeded to pick up a remote like device you bought, Noah looked at it in confusion while tilting his head. You smirked at how adorable he looked, he didn’t know what he had gotten himself into.

With the click of a button, Noah’s back arched as he felt pleasure coursing through his body. He hadn’t even realised that a vibrator was lodged inside him! You must have put it in while he was unconscious.

“MMMNNGGH~!” He moaned against the gag, his body twisting and shaking, poor little baby was so sensitive!

You turned the vibrator off and he slumped down, his chest heaving, “Now for your punishment, I’m going to leave you here with that vibrator on and you’re going to cum over and over again until I’m satisfied, do you understand?”

Noah’s eyes widened and he shook his head profusely. This wasn’t what he wanted, he wanted to feel you, to touch you, to have you make him feel good; not this stupid toy!

He also didn’t want to be alone, he felt like he’d die if you weren’t near him so he began to cry, “N-noooo!! Mmm stayy!” His voice came out muffle which only made you smirk even more.

It was evident you were a sadist; seeing him whine and beg like that really turned you on. However you were doing this also to make sure it was engrained in his head who was in charge: you. It was to make sure he’d never pull a stunt like this again and would also prove his obedience to you.

“You said you wanted to be my good boy didn’t you Noah~? So be a good boy and take it.” You said sternly, turning the vibrator on once more before walking out of the room, leaving the door open a little bit so you’d hear him.

His moans and cries followed you as he begged for you to come back, but with the gag in his mouth he could only do so much.

Noah’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he came again with a cry, his boxers were now dirty with his jizz. He sobbed as the vibrations bullied his poor prostrate, he wanted you to make it feel better, please come back!

And then he came for the third time, and the fourth and then the fifth. It felt like hours had gone by (it had only been 30 minutes) since you left him in this state; his whole body was shaking as his hips bucked to try and get away from the vibrations but to no avail.

“Nnnngghh~!! ‘S t-too m-much…too much!” He whined, mainly to himself but it came out as mixed garbles.

You finally graced him with your presence and entered the room, your own arousal building up at the sight of him. But you also felt pity on him, it was clear that he had never felt the touch of anyone his entire life—let alone come numerous amounts of times!

He hadn’t noticed you came in yet, his mind was all foggy and hazy; the only thing he could focus on was the vibrations in his ass.

You say next to him and his head immediately darted towards you, tears pooled his eyes and he begged you to make it stop, “P-pleasshh~” He tried to say but the gag and the tormenting toy stopped him from being able to vocalise himself.

You cooed at him and turned the vibrations to the lowest level, yet not quite turning it off yet, “Have you learnt your lesson~?” You ask, and he nods eagerly and tries to get closer to you: to feel your comfort, your warmth, your affection, your love~

You take mercy on him and take out the gag since it was clearly hurting his jaw, he lets out a moan of relief as incoherent ‘thank yous’ and ‘I love yous’ leave his mouth.

“Shhh…it’s okay, I’ve got you~” You whisper in his ear, you gently take his underwear off and take the vibrator out, making him whine, “Mmmh…s-sensitive..ahhnngh~”

He gave you such adorable eyes, pleading for you to make him feel better so you cupped his face, “Don’t worry, I’ll take all the pain away, I promise…you’re my good boy right~?”

As soon as he heard the words, “Good boy,” he immediately nodded like a mad-man, “Mmm your good boy! P-please…please…y-yours…”

You could tell he was extremely exhausted from the torment you put him through, so you untied his wrists and ankles which made him cling onto you like a spider monkey; you let out a soft chuckle, “Noah…you have to let me go…I need to clean you up…”

“N-no! D-don’t go…please…” Tears pooled his eyes yet again, making you coo at him which he melted to.

“Shhh…alright, we can cuddle for a bit but then I have to clean you okay~?” You wrapped your arms around his waist aswell, being careful not to touch his very sensitive lower body.

Noah could still feel the tingles and electricity coursing through his body, but once you held him in your arms—he felt all that pain go away. He snuggled further into you, his face buried in your neck.

“I love you so much…I love you Y/N..” He mumbled against your skin, kissing it softly.

And you found yourself saying something you’d never imagine saying the first day you met him;

“I love you too Noah~”

Ahhhh! Finally finished this!!

—>my masterlist <3

Tags❤️ (you can asked to be tagged for any of my posts):

@vinivave @eternalmasquerading

mdni banner used from @cafekitsune !!

[caitimetravels]

she’s insignificant

chapter 13: we want to help you

the umbrella academy x (fem) reader

disclaimer: i do not own the plot/storyline of the netflix tv series and i do not own the umbrella academy characters.

warnings: mentions of blood

a/n: guysss im back from the dead :))) anyways enjoy this update :3

masterlist

after allison's sudden revelation they quickly drove to leonard's- or harold's, more accurately- house. y/n waited a moment longer than her siblings to exit the car.

"be careful, okay?" allison called out, watching diego move towards the door. "we don't know what peabody's capable of"

"yeah, he didn't seem that dangerous when i first saw him, looked kinda scrawny" 

"yeah well, so are most serial killers and mass murderers. i mean, look at him" allison gestured to five.

"thanks"

"wait" y/n quickly clambered out, stopping her siblings before they could do anything. they all paused, turning to her, "maybe we shouldn't.. i mean, i know he was a criminal in the past but.. vanya's happy. are we really going to ruin that for the millionth time on some baseless assumption-?"

"he could cause the apocalypse, y/n! it's not baseless, stopping him-" five begun to argue, growing angry as he realised his siblings really weren't understanding the importance of the situation they were in.

"he could, five. but he also couldn't" she stressed, "what if they're leading you astray? sending you after the wrong person?"

"they wouldn't do that, they had no idea what my plan was" five threw his hands up in annoyance.

"we can apologise to vanya when we save the world, okay?" allison cut in before the argument could escalate, "right now though, we need to make sure harold jenkins really isn't the one who's going to cause the end of the world"

y/n sighed heavily, it's not like vanya would know, right? "fine."

"so, what's this guy want with vanya?" diego changed the subject as he approached the door again. 

"don't know, how about we ask him after we kill him?" five proposed. y/n's head snapped towards him, a look of disgust on her face while diego held a hand out,

"woah, woah, woah, woah, hey" he turned around to face five, "look, i'm gonna burst through the-" he paused as he watched five turn around, thinking for a second. "you know what? it would be nice if you could just stick to-" 

five blinked.

"-the plan"

"you should know by now that he's not going to" y/n snorted as she watched diego sigh and take a step back. "hey, hey, hey what are you doing?!" she reached out to stop him but he had already flung himself through the window. so much for vanya not knowing, she frowned.

"subtle" allison remarked as she and five stepped past diego's fallen body.

"you know the door was unlocked?" y/n gently pushed it open, standing next to five.

"yeah? well, my way works just fine" diego pushed himself up, groaning as he stood straight. "spread out. yell if you uh.. you know, you're in trouble"

"inspiring leadership" five raised an eyebrow, glancing over at y/n and allison.

"one of the greats" the former shrugged, immediately heading for the stairs. allison followed after her, the pair splitting at the top to check the rooms before allison noticed the attic hatch. 

"hey, y/n" she called as she reached for the handle. the younger girl stepped over, climbing up first when allison pulled it open. 

"ew, it reaks up here" y/n cringed, reaching a hand up to pinch her nose as she looked around, allison exploring behind her. "hey allison.." her voice, albeit funny sounding, came out quite freaked out as she slowly stuck her free hand towards her siblings action figures. 

the curly haired woman turned curiously, immediately calling out to the other two downstairs upon spotting the action figure in y/n's shaking hand. five and diego quickly ran up to them to see what was wrong.

"all our faces are burnt off" allison examined the figures, glancing at the crossed out eyes on their posters as well.

"well, that's not creepy" diego murmured sarcastically.

"i guess you were right about him.." y/n turned around to see if there was anything else, pausing when her eyes landed on a photo. slowly she reached out, gingerly picking up the picture. it was from a day she just barely remembered, long ago when they were much younger. she frowned at the carefree smile on her face, arm wrapped around five whose face was scribbled on harshly with a black marker, knives drawn messily into his arm where it lay around her waist. her eyes narrowed in on the boy standing behind her, a heart lightly drawn around the pair of them despite the obvious distance between the two. she raised the photo closer to her face, lips parting in surprise as she recognised him.

"whats wrong? are you okay?" diego's hand landed on her shoulder, shocking her enough to make her jump for a moment.

"it's him.. he's that boy.." she felt them staring at her, glancing between her and the photo. "dad yelled at him.."

————————————————–

y/n turned at the sound of yelling, ignoring her siblings calls to come inside. she pulled away from klaus' tug on her arm watching numbly as reginald belittled a boy. he was decked out in a replica of their uniform, donning a fake mask to match theirs, hoping to join their academy.

hoping.. hope that faded with each word from reginald's mouth.

y/n knew what it was like, to be on the receiving end of reginalds cold, unapologetic mind. he was a cruel, cruel man. 

sympathy overwhelmed her, drowning out her sibling's voices. sympathy was weak.. empathy was weak.. and yet it was all she felt in that moment, it was all she felt watching her siblings suffer. 

she was overwhelmed with the urge to help him, to reach out to him.

she was stopped however, klaus' tug om her arm managing to turn her around. he spoke, the words sounding muffled compared to the thrum of the blood rushing through her veins. she stiffly nodded in reply, they needed to head inside.

her eyes flitted back to the boy, catching his eye as reginald left him. he sat on the floor, emotions a mess as the crowd around him laughed at his humiliation. what cruel, cruel people..

"im sorry.." she mouthed, frowning as she allowed herself to be pulled along in the line of superpowered siblings, never to see him again..

————————————————–

before she could reminisce anymore her memory shattered, hand dropping the photo as five collapsed. she quickly dropped to her knees, diego and allison following along to check he was alright. y/n shook his shoulders, hoping he would respond while allison lifted his shirt slightly, noticing a damp red spot growing bigger on his sweater. 

y/n frowned at the sight of the wound, knowing he had been hiding this to continue fighting the apocalypse. he was always rushing..

————————————————–

numbers five and eight had always had an unspoken bond. the pair didn't necessarily spend more time together or care more for each other but they definitely understood the other more than their siblings seemed to.

and when five disappeared that bond became even more obvious.

y/n didn't know why she cared so much about finding five but she just knew she couldn't sit around waiting for him to come back and her father certainly wasn't doing anymore to help find him. she felt it was her responsibility, she knew the most, could do the most and she didn't want to cause anymore problems for the family.

y/n sighed as felt her head fill with thoughts, overwhelming her and fogging her mind. she stumbled along the pathway, dodging people just barely and quite sloppily but no one bothered to question or worry about her, just sending her dirty looks. she made her way back into the same park that kept reappearing in her mind after the fever type dream. 

had she always had so many problems?

as she sat on the same swing she had sat on she hoped that maybe her dream was a sign or a future vision. she wanted to see the beautiful girl again, wanting to live carefree, ride the rides at the carnival and eat fairy floss with someone just as sweet as the candy on her tongue.

but most of all she wanted someone to talk to, someone who would be able to provide her with advice, tell her what to do because frankly she was feeling quite lost in her mind at the moment, it didn't quite feel like her own. 

she sighed for the nth time, pushing her hair back from her face and gently swinging her feet to gain a little momentum.

she didn't know if she wanted to continue helping her siblings anymore.. weren't they intruding into vanya's life?

there were times when her family crossed the line, and it was often that they did with each other but even this felt like a little too much.

did they even need her help..?

tag list: (if your name is crossed i couldnt tag you) @rxses-and-reverie @lostgreekgod @on-yourmark-99 @bicyhot1 @navs-bhat @midnightmystic @shawkneecaps @baby-bi-bi-bi-yeah @velveticxyyy @hehehehannahthings @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @bex-tk1 @maddiesweet @takottai @mischievousmemes @mary-wolf @tsukishimawhore @katherinereid @ssa-uglywhore27

[misschifuyu]

hello <3 i really liked your mikey relationship hcs, can i request one for chifuyu too? tysm :p

- hi there bb !! im so happy to hear that you liked them, and of course I can do some for chifuyu aswell, I do hope you like them ♡

General relationship headcanons with Chifuyu

characters: chifuyu matsuno

genre: fluff

warnings: none

chifuyu will be the typical person that, when he gets a crush, you will know he's got a crush

he won't act all flirty with you upon realising what those fuzzy feelings actually were; instead, he'd start spending a lot more time with you, even asking to hang out every now and then if you happened to be free

you only saw this side of a crushing chifuyu, but know that baji had to put up with a whole different side of him

whenever he'd come back from spending, let's say, an afternoon with you, he could practically bounce off the walls with excitement when he arrived at his best friend's place

he's a very giddy person when he's happy about something, so it would take baji a bit of patience until he would actually sit still and tell him about everything

this will only double when he told him that he had finally confessed to you, receiving an approving response on your behalf

he was absolutely over the moon, and it would take quite a bit to get him back down again

now, once the two of you have established a relationship, you will notice that chifuyu gets a little less jittery when around you

he's no longer trying his best to not say something that would scare you off, or hold himself back from talking about peke j

speaking of, you will have already met his cat, but expect to spend a lot more time with this feline when you're dating, as you'd frequently go over more

the little animal will, of course, take a liking to you, and chifuyu wouldn't be able to hold back a proud smile as he watched you mingle with his son

yes, peke j is his son, in his eyes at least. well, your son too now, really

but enough about the cat. knowing that he could finally be closer to you, chifuyu will let out his touch starved side and bring you into his arms any time he could

he's a very affectionate person, and there were no words he could find to describe how happy he was to know that he could finally give all this pent up loving to someone, especially since it was you

see, none of the toman guys look to be very welcoming of hugs and hand holding, so he was left with pretty much nothing for a good while

he will absolutely love having you in his arms. cuddling is frequent with him, no doubt; the two of you can spend hours snuggled together, simply holding small talk as you rested your head against his chest, his fingers running through your hair

being held is another thing he will enjoy immensely

he loves whenever you'd bring him towards you, to the warmth of your body, and plant small kisses on his nose and cheeks

a light shade of pink will always be dusted across his expression every time you'd do this, but he could never care less

he especially loves when you wrap your hands around his neck, fumbling with the ends of his hair as you bring him into a loving kiss. oh he could stay there forever if the time would let him

when the two of you are out, he will always slip his fingers into your hand, entangling them with your own

it's a little thing he does to know that you're there, beside him, and that he is able to stand before you if you were to get into any sort of trouble

speaking of, he will be very, very wary to tell anyone else other than the members he was closest to about you

he wanted you to have nothing to do with the gangs, as he knew well that you could be used as a target if somebody wanted to go against him

if ever you have to go out at night, chifuyu will accompany you

even if it meant leaving a meeting half-way through, he will sprint over to your place to make sure that you'd walk safely through the dark streets of tokyo

he loves you more than anything, and the last thing he needed was to fight off a bunch of gang members after you were attacked by them

moving on from the protective side of this bundle of joy, chifuyu is know to absolutely spoil you

we're talking big time

you want the alpaca in the claw vending machine? he will spend every last penny in his pocket until he gets the fluffy thing

mention a liking towards a certain piece of clothing? he'll show up with it a few days later with the excuse of a 'spontaneous shopping spree and I happened to see it'

on your first anniversary he bought you one of those little teddy bears with a heart that you can put a picture in, with one of the two of you

he couldn't stop looking at it that night as you put it on display in your room, saying how much of a bargain it had been

of course, soon after you got him a similar one, and he would sleep with it. even if you were sleeping over, the soft toy wouldn't be far from the sheets

he just loves anything that has to do with you, honestly

his favourite place to go with you on dates is the cinema, especially if its a scary movie

as much as he doesn't seem like he'd enjoy these types of movies, he will have an absolute blast whenever the two of you went together to see one

he's not one to get scared by them, and if you happen to jump at them, you will literally have to cover his mouth to prevent getting kicked out of the cinema

he finds your jumps hilarious, and he will always know when you're about to get scared because the grip on his hand considerably tightens

he wishes he could capture every one of these moments, as much as you'd beg to differ over the comedic value behind them

all in all, these sweetheart loves you very, very much

and he will remind you of the fact as much as he can

short text messages, letters he'd leave by your door whenever he had a busy day and just straight up telling you, even if you were in the middle of a conversation

he just needs to know how appreciated and important you are to him

and he shall not stop until you realise this

tell him you love him too, though. his reactions are always the best, blushing like a maniac and stuttering with words you could only just make out as praises about yourself

he's just a little lover boy

[spacedikut]

the very insecure dr reid ; spencer reid

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

summary: “Could you write another fic about early Spence where he’s all insecure” combined with another request :) 5730 words

a/n: title taken from s1e5!! i wrote this months ago aka before i decided to try to make my fics gender neutral and i tried to make the appropriate changes but im also a dumbass so! yeah! 

masterlist

Spencer is a man of science, if you didn’t already know.

This means he doesn’t spend his time fretting over what isn’t there, what doesn’t have facts and evidence to back it up. Of course, he dabbles in reading conspiracy theories and enjoys learning about various religions and things of that sort, but these are to expand his already infinite knowledge, not because he particularly believes in them.

The first time he believed there was some kind of God was when you kissed him.

It was after the case where both Elle and Spencer were trapped on a train with a paranoid schizophrenic – he still remembers how you reacted when he agreed to being sent in, how you tried to keep it light-hearted but pulled him aside to solemnly tell him you didn’t think you’d be able to live without him (if you do something rash and stupid, Spencer, I swear to God-). You threatened to nipple cripple him if he did die, and it was weirdly motivating.

After he was checked over, and teased Elle about saving her life, you came crashing into him with an audible oof and a whisper of, “God you smell so good I’m so glad you’re okay don’t ever do that again.” It was probably the adrenaline, the near-death experience high, but instead of gently pushing you away like he’d do with anyone else, he discovers your waist has a wonderful dip that his arms fit perfectly into as he tugs you close.

He’s hugged people before, obviously, but it’s always different with you.

You must think so, too, because when you pull away just enough that you’re still in his arms but can clearly see his face, you take a minuscule intake of breath that Spencer wouldn’t notice if he wasn’t, you know, Spencer.

A strand of Spencer’s hair falls from where it was tucked, falling into his line of sight. Without hesitation you’re pushing it back, fingertips brushing against Spencer’s cheek as you fold the hair back behind his ear. Your eyes meet when there’s no obstruction, electricity crackling in Spencer’s ears when he realises there’s nothing between you, nothing stopping you, and there’s something about the lack of space between you and how he holds you that just makes you ask-

“Would it be weird if I kissed you right now?”

Immediately, Spencer thinks yes. Not because he doesn’t want you to (he couldn’t think of anything better to do, to be honest), or because of where you are (although, knowing the whole team is not far away does make him feel a little funny), it’s because he’s him. Gangly, awkward, with very sweaty hands that feel at home on your body, and you don’t want to kiss that. You can’t want to.

Yet, he shakes his head, and finds himself copying you when you lean in and close your eyes.

It’s short, sweet, and somewhat weird. He thinks he blacks out, loses himself in your lips despite it happening so quickly.

When you pull back, Spencer’s eyes remain closed for a good few seconds before he’s brought back to Earth. And he doesn’t know what to say - pretty people don’t just… kiss him. They certainly don’t ask if they can kiss him, then follow through, and… stare at him like that.

“Has anyone seen Reid? Y/L/N?”

Whatever was supposed to happen after, whether it was good or bad, you’ll never know. Hotch’s footsteps are thundering towards you and, despite your daze, you step away from Spencer just as he spots you.

The second time he believed there was a God, he asked you on a date. And you said yes.

Neither of you mention the kiss. In your defence, he supposes, it happened merely an hour ago – everyone’s rushing to get back to Quantico so no one’s had time to make any kind of small talk, let alone have the talk after a kiss.

Elle gives Spencer a look of confusion when she slides past him, moving into the jet as he hovers in the entryway. He’s obviously waiting for someone, passing out tight lipped smiles to the team when they all squeeze past. Spencer isn’t a big guy, but it’s bizarre for him to be standing there like that, swaying like the palm tree he is – he’s usually setting up for yet another game of chess with Gideon at this moment.

Then you shuffle on, faltering when you catch him waiting for you but smile nonetheless. He straightens, hands remaining in his pockets when his mouth opens to speak. You interrupt him (before he can make a fool of himself, thank God).

“Wanna sit together?” You ask, eyes never leaving his. He nods and follows you like the lost puppy he is.

The second you invite him to sit next to you instead of opposite he wants to pull you tight into his side, but that seems like too much. He’s not Derek, for Heaven’s sake, and you’re not Garcia – all you’ve done is kiss once and really, when he thinks about it, you were probably on an adrenaline high too, so it might’ve been a heat of the moment thing. It happens, Spencer’s read about it, and although it would break his heart that it meant nothing, it’s likely. Oh, it’s so likely.

Spencer might be the first one on the team to cry on the BAU jet.

Halfway home, the team is lost in their own pass-times to notice when you bookmark your page and place your book on the table.

“Spence,” You whisper, testing if he’s awake.

He is. He hasn’t been able to catch a wink of sleep, no matter how hard he tries. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry if what I did earlier- you know-“ You gesture vaguely in the air, completely oblivious to the fact Spencer is very familiar with what happened earlier because he can’t stop replaying it, “-If that made you uncomfortable. Or if I forced you, or-“

“Would it be weird if I asked you on a date when we land?”

The grin you send him shoots straight to his heart, eyes crinkling with laughter at his echo of the words you used earlier. If you notice you don’t mention it, but his hands can’t stop fidgeting under the table, slick with sweat.

“It’d only be weird if you don’t kiss me after.” You say.

His brows furrow, a small incredulous laugh leaving him. “What? Why?”

“We’ve already had our first kiss, so it’s out of the way.”

“Are you saying… You want to kiss me again?”

You thought that was obvious from when you kissed him earlier, but you’re happy to remind him. “Yes. I would like that very much.”

“Okay,” He says, bashfully, with a lick of his lips. “I can- I can arrange that.”

This time, when you turn back to your book, your head finds his shoulder and Spencer thinks his it has turned to gold, blessed by being touched by you. Would it be too much if, the second you get back to base, he writes about this moment in great detail to his mother?

+++

All of that leads to now, where The Date is in three days.

He plans to take you to his favourite book café, a place you’ve always wanted to go but never had the chance to, and he was so, so excited. Any time he gets to spend with you is cherished and means more to him than it does to you, because to him it’s an excuse for you to give him more reasons to fall in love with you. And he does - fall in love - every single day.

Was is the important word here. He’s not excited anymore.

It’s terrifying how quick the tides can change.

Just this morning, he was glancing with child-like excitement at the outfit he’s already chosen for the date. You brought him some coffee, whispering an endearing, “Three days!” as you did, and, according to Derek, Spencer’s love eyes (what the hell does that mean) were so big even Derek fell in love with you for a second.

Now, Spencer’s not territorial, but that comment stuck with him. Maybe that’s why he’s here now.

He has to cancel the date.

It pains him – God, does it pain him – but he has to. He can’t go on that date with you. He can’t… put you through that. Make you spend time with him and have to let him down gently, slowly, like you’re talking down a temper tantrum. He can’t then pretend everything’s okay in front of the team. He won’t be able to pretend, because he’s liked you for months.

He won’t force you to go on that date with him. You deserve better than that, and better than him.

That’s what it comes down to: you deserve better than him.

It started that morning with Derek, as previously mentioned. Then the team was whisked away on a case, and the detectives were all over you. JJ, too, but they were too intimidated by Elle and Morgan, who just laughed at their attempts to impress you. It was borderline inappropriate, but you were too concerned with the victims and finding a serial killer to pay some officers and detectives you’ll never see again any attention.

Spencer noticed, though. And he couldn’t concentrate.

The detectives are dressed too well – by that, he means the suits and the Rolex watches are way above their paygrade – and they keep emphasising how good looking you and JJ are and how lucky the BAU is to have such dolls working on the team. What is this, the 40s? Who calls anyone doll anymore? And, yes, the team is very lucky to have you and JJ, but because you’re both great minds and wildly intelligent people that, yes, are also very gorgeous, but your looks aren’t all you have to offer, thank you very much.

There’s a detective approaching you, again, as you stand by the water cooler.

Spencer frantically looks around, trying to find a member of the team. “Morgan!” He weakly calls, because Spencer won’t scare him off. Maybe Morgan can chase them away like they’re stray cats, with his big muscles and scary eyebrows. Or Elle, who earlier merely lifted an eyebrow and the officers scattered like cockroaches.

All he catches of the conversation between you and the model/detective at the cooler is, “I appreciate it, but no thank you,” and that’s all he needs to hear.

He should’ve known someone would eventually make a move. You’ve said no, clearly, and Spencer doesn’t understand why. I mean, yes, he knows why – you have a prior engagement – but the detective… As much as he’s kind of a dick, he complements you better than Spencer does. Physically.

And there starts the spiral.

There must be something in the water, because every officer and detective and everyone in between is in peak physical condition with dashing looks to boot. They’re all straight out of a magazine, as if the popular kids from Spencer’s high school graduated and followed him here to remind him he is incredibly unworthy of you.

Spencer is lanky, unlike the broad men and curvaceous women here, and slicks his hair to the side rather than up like the others. He wears sweater vests, not blazers, and he’s so skinny that his trousers always look like hand-me-downs – nothing is fitted, like so many outfits are here.

They’re all everything Spencer is not. And Spencer is realising, quite quickly, that they’re the better ones – and that’s what you deserve. Better. The best.

It gets worse when they deliver the profile.

He finds his spot next to you, gives you a tight lipped smile, then looks at the outfits of his team compared to his own. Both Hotch and Morgan wear dark suits, well-proportioned and sophisticated in a way that Spencer is sure isn’t even in his calibre. Elle wears a deep green t-shirt, tucked into her tight black pants, and looks wonderfully intimidating with her double gun holster wrapped around her shoulders.

And you. You.

You wear a white shirt tucked into nicely tailored trousers, hair effortlessly styled with a pen tucked behind your ear. You all look like FBI agents. Intimidating. Prepared. Put-together.

Spencer… looks like he’s still in high school. He threatens no one, intimidates no one, and definitely does not make anyone feel inferior with his masculinity. He’s not an alpha male, is what he’s trying to say, and for each person he encounters in this wretched police department he feels himself shrinking.

So when they give the profile, he tries to say as little as possible. Tries to attract as little attention as possible, so when Hotch says his usual, “Thank you.” He can slip away unnoticed and hide from the superior beings.

It works, given everyone is too busy trying to save lives. Except you notice, and Spencer has to pretend he’s okay when you find him at the evidence board and tell him you’re excited for the date. He wants to believe you, truly does, but no matter how hard he digs into his brain to find a part of him that can fathom you see him as a better option than literally anyone else, it doesn’t exist.

You don’t seem to notice. He tells himself he’s glad, but there’s no denying the disappointment.

+++

Hotch calls it a night when the clock nears midnight. He says the team should get as much rest as possible and come in with fresh eyes tomorrow – despite this, the team knows most if not all of them will get little to no sleep, given that they’ll all be going over everything they’ve got so far in their hotel rooms.

You slink up to Spencer, a pep in your step even though you’re running on pure caffeine and nothing else. It’s then Spencer realises he has to do it now, because if he does it in the police department then he’ll be called unprofessional, but if he waits any longer than that he’ll be cutting too close and that’s a bad look.

“Y/N,” He says, coming to a stop before the elevators, allowing the rest of the team to head up. “I need to say something.”

You nod with a smile, covering a cute yawn when he takes a couple seconds to gather his thoughts.

You’re not sure what he’s gonna say, but you assume it’ll be to do with the date. Maybe a change of time, or a change of venue – he did mention the library café can get super busy on weekends – or, worst case scenario, the date will have to be postponed for whatever reason. And none are particularly bad, because you’re excited and just want to be with Spencer – it doesn’t matter if it’s not when he originally planned or where he originally planned.

But Spencer has always unwittingly been full of surprises.

“We can’t go on that date.”

Instantly you ask, “Why not?”

“Well-“ He seems caught off guard, like he wasn’t expecting you to question the sudden change of heart, “It’s complicated-“

“I’ve got time.”

“We should go to sleep-“

“Is it your mother?”

“No. No, it’s not.” Of course you look empathetic when you consider his mother might need him – a stab to the start. Add in the flicker of concern in your eyes – two stabs to the heart. “It’s not her. It’s- it’s nothing. Just, can we cancel?”

“And reschedule?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

The disappointment is clear on your face and makes Spencer feel so guilty, but not guilty enough to take it back. You’re not disappointed that you’re missing out on dating him, you’re frustrated that you’ve been building up to having plans on the weekend and they’ve suddenly been cancelled without reason. By Spencer, of all people. In a couple months’ time you’ll thank him, when you’re dating some bodybuilder who can grow a mean beard. You’ll thank him for not making you go on that date with him and forcing you to tell him you’re just not my type, Spence, and making everything awkward.

He can’t look at you. Maybe that’s why he misses the genuine sadness, the sudden glassiness of your eyes that humiliates you enough to make you angry. His words have ignited a fire in your chest that burns through your body like you’re made of gasoline, and you wish you could turn your thoughts off so you don’t start questioning how long he’s been wanting to reject you, if he even wanted to date you in the first place, how embarrassing it is to have been so openly eager when, apparently, he was very much not.

“I’m sorry.” He says, like it’ll do anything. He still can’t look at you and he feels like a coward.

“Yeah.” You sniffle.

He decides to take the stairs. You head for the bar, just for one drink.

+++

The following day, when an officer tries to talk to you, you blatantly ignore him. You tell him that unless it’s work-related, you’re really not interested, and word spreads quick that your pleasantries have died out and you’re not in the mood to tolerate creepy compliments.

There’s a permanent frown on your face that haunts Spencer the entire day. He knows exactly what’s going on – it’s his fault, after all – and he finds himself simultaneously avoiding you whilst witnessing your downcast mood.

Morgan starts investigating not long after you barely react to his terrible joke. He makes them for you, because you either choke on laughter or throw your pen at him, but this time it was like you weren’t even in the room. When Morgan poked you and asked if you heard him, your lacklustre reply was, “Hm? Yeah, good one.”

Morgan perches on the desk Spencer’s using. “You got any idea what’s going on with Y/N?”

“They’re mad at me.”

“You’re the reason they’re like this?”

Spencer doesn’t physically react, just says, as casually as possible, “Unless another person asked them on a date then cancelled without reason, then yes. It’s my fault.”

There’s no point in lying. Especially to Derek. Spencer doesn’t know how you’ll go about explaining your sudden poor mood, if you’ll curse his very existence or lie about it, but Spencer’s never been a good liar and the sooner everyone knows it’s his fault and he sucks, the better.

Morgan leans forward, attempting to make eye contact with the doctor who very much does not want to. “There’s a story there.”

“Obviously.”

“…You wanna go ahead and explain it?”

“Not really.”

“Alright,” Derek shrugs, “You stir in your sadness and continue being a sourpuss, I’ll go check up on Y/N and find out what really happened.”

Derek’s barely moved off the table when Spencer stops him, voice small like a child, “Wait, Morgan, I-“

You walk past then, too focused on a suspect list faxed in by Garcia to pay attention to anyone else. Spencer’s eyes follow you the whole time, and the look in Spencer’s twinkling eyes make Morgan slump back onto the table in realisation.

“Why’d you cancel, Reid?”

“I had to.”

“You had other plans?”

Spencer chews his bottom lip. “No. But I… I couldn’t take them on a date.”

Derek waits for him to elaborate.

“Have you seen the kind of guys hitting on them?” Spencer asks, scooting his chair closer so no one can eavesdrop. “They’re all… They’re- they’re like you, Morgan. All cool and put-together and actually look their age, for one, and I’m not that. I could never be that – and that’s what Y/N wants-“

“Have you asked them that?”

“No. But I’m a profiler, in case you forgot, and I think it makes sense that these big-shouldered, super muscly guys are all over-“

“But you haven’t actually asked them what they want.”

“No.” Spencer sighs, leaning back in his chair.

“That’s your first, and most vital, mistake, my man.”

Spencer purses his lips, catching you watching him over Derek’s shoulder. You immediately look away, shooting off to the evidence room as an escape, and Spencer’s cheeks burn with guilt and embarrassment.

He can’t believe he thought he had a chance with you.

“I feel like this should be obvious, Genius, but Y/N said yes to a date with you, then turned down every offer that came from someone that wasn’t you-“

“That’s because they already made plans with me and they’d feel terrible if they had to cancel for another, better offer. I made it easier for them.”

Derek gives him such an incredulous look Spencer wonders if he should burn his PhDs. “Are you serious?”

The crestfallen expression on Spencer’s face is enough of an answer.

“Come with me.”

“What?”

“C’mon,” Derek tugs Spencer up from his chair. “I need to show your dumb ass something.”

All that’s missing is classic spy music when Derek and Spencer sneak into the conference room the BAU is using. Only Hotch is in there, scribbling something down, barely glancing up when the two agents creep in like they’re on a mission.

Spencer doesn’t say anything until Derek reaches for your bag. “Whoa- Morgan-“

“Relax.”

Spencer just stares, brows halfway down his face, and watches silently.

“That’s they’re journal, Morgan, you can’t just read it-“

“It’s not, pretty boy.”

Hotch watches the interaction, mildly confused, then nods to himself when he realises what Morgan’s holding.

Morgan splays the journal on the table in front of them, flipping through pages with precision like it’s his notebook and not yours. When he lands on his desired page, it’s slid towards Spencer.

He reads it.

The Doctor Spencer Reid cheat sheet. (Because I do not have an eidetic memory and feel bad whenever I forget something he tells me)

He’s too stumped by the words cheat sheet to look further, so Derek does it for him, flipping to the next page where very basic information about Spencer sits – full name, date of birth, hometown. As he looks to the page next to it, he realises it’s full of his favourite things – favourite coffee, favourite candy (which has multiple answers, by the way), even favourite pair of socks. Like a switch has been flipped, Spencer comes to life, frantically switching between pages that are overflowing with facts and tidbits about him, from his favourite monologue from his favourite film to his favourite shelf in his apartment. All things he’s told you either in passing or when he’s confided in you at random times, you’ve taken note. You’ve listened, and for some reason you’ve written it all down so you’d never forget.

“What…What is this?”

“It’s everything there is to know about you, Reid.” Derek watches as Spencer slips through the rest of the book, filled with random to-do lists and phone numbers of various people, looking for the same information about the rest of the team. “There’s only one for you, you know. And if you ask me it’s a little creepy, but it’s saved our asses when it’s come to buying gifts for you a good few times.” He slaps a hand on his friend’s shoulder, smirking at how Spencer’s awe-filled eyes never leave the pages before him. “They care about you a lot, Reid. More than you think. So…”

“I need to talk to them.”

“Yes, idiot, you do.”

+++

That night, Elle and Derek invite you to join them for some drinks at the bar, promising they won’t let it escalate to arm wrestling and childish bets like they always do. Even though they make a compelling argument, add on that you’re stressed and upset and really, really want to forget emotions exist more than anything else, you’re half tempted to accept and lose yourself in some cocktails.

Then you spot Spencer talking in hushed tones with Gideon and everything comes flooding back. So you tell Elle to have a drink for you, please don’t make a ruckus when she gets back to your shared room, and bid them adieu.

In your room, you distract yourself by renting one of your favourite movies. It’s overpriced, and a part of you wants to look over the case files again, but being sad and burnt out won’t lead to any good outcomes.

It’s a futile attempt at switching your brain off so you don’t have to think about how excited you were for the date. You’ve had twenty-four hours to get over it, but every time you see him you’re thrown back into the bitterness you feel – bitter that you fooled yourself into thinking it’d work out, bitter that your hopes were so high, bitter that you let your feelings for Spencer become such a big part of your life.

You’re lying on your scratchy hotel bed, thinking about Spencer and how he’s going to be complaining to Morgan about said scratchy beds, when there’s a knock at your door.

Naturally, you assume its Elle. She reminds you so much of your older sister who used to slide you some money so you’d stay up late into the night and quietly let her back into the house after she’s sneaked off to go to a party – except Elle is probably swaying outside your hotel room after losing her keycard rather than swaying on your doorstep.

So when you open the door, teasing quip ready, you legitimately choke when you’re faced with a fidgety Spencer Reid.

He tries to ignore how the way your face drops when you realise it’s him feels like a punch to the gut.

“Hey-“

“No.”

“Oh.”

“You-what-“ He’s never seen you so flustered. “Are you lost?”

Just in case, Spencer leans back to check the number beside your door is in fact 208. It is, and he turns back to you, “Please don’t slam the door in my face.”

It slips out. “I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardise your pretty face.”

You’re humiliated that he has this effect on you, the ability to obliterate all your filters and common sense just by existing. But the look on his face alleviates the want to jump out of the window – his mouth opens, twitching into the smallest, most bashful smile before it falls and morphs back into disbelief. You just… You just called his face pretty, a word that makes some feel emasculated but no, never with you. You compliment people and mean it, which makes Spencer’s guilt worsen and the urge to tell you he loves you with his entire heart more intense.

You speak at the same time.

“Why are you-“

“I wanted to-“

You roll your lips together, holding back a smile, and nod for him to go on. He does the same, so you shake your head with a, “I was just asking why you’re here.”

He holds up a finger, signalling one moment, and opens his satchel to start rummaging in it. “I know this is a complete invasion of privacy, and theft, really, but Morgan showed me it and I just- Why do you have this?”

You gasp.

In his hand is the journal you’ve been working on since a month into your employment at the BAU. The gifted notebook was initially used to jot down any bits of advice your superiors gave you (on your first day, Elle gave you a list she lovingly titled “If I wasn’t an FBI agent I’d sock these people in the mouths”) but, before you knew it, it had an entirely different purpose.

It started when you witnessed Derek stumble when asked Spencer’s favourite colour, to which he said no one remembers stuff like that! Aptly followed by Spencer reeling off everyone’s preferred colours (even delving into second favourites and favoured colour schemes) and you realised then that… Spencer’s whole life, he’s remembered so much about the people around him and very rarely have they returned the favour. So, in an attempt to build friendship and because you had the fattest crush on him already, you started the Spencer Reid cheat sheet.

You didn’t think he’d ever see it, even if it’s always used by the team on various occasions. It was the team’s little secret, bar Spencer, that assisted in nearly every decision made on Spencer’s behalf – what to order from restaurants, drinks, birthday and holiday gifts, how to comfort him when he’s stressed or upset.

The responses vary. Derek thinks it’s weird, as did Elle at first, but JJ and Garcia insist its sweet and, really, no matter what they think they’ve all come running to you when time has called for it.

“How… Did you steal it?”

“Yes,” He tells you, guiltily, “I had to read it – it’s incredibly accurate, by the way.”

You don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.

“So… Why?”

“I don’t know,” You say, a bold-faced lie and Spencer can tell, but he lets you continue, “You remember everything about everyone else, so I wanted to… do the same for you, I guess.”

“I have an eidetic memory.”

You airily laugh – does he think you forgot that? “I know that. Doesn’t it get tiring recalling all this information about your friends and not having it reciprocated?”

He clicks his tongue at that, eyes falling back to the notebook in his hands that he fiddles with while he thinks. It is tiring, he supposes, but that’s how it’s always been. He remembers everything, the people around him just… don’t. He realised at a young age that he’ll often have to remind himself that friendship isn’t measured by what they remember, but by other ways – like this. You, with your unassuming journal that is full of things Spencer assumed no one would ever care to remember.

You, with your tensed jaw and fluttering eyes because you’re embarrassed.

You, who’s done quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for him, and it’s been happening for years right under his nose.

You, who he cancelled a date with because he was so sure you were dating him out of pity, out of obligation after he asked and you felt forced to say yes, but now he realises you care about him just as much as he cares for you.

Touched feels like an understatement.

“Y/N…”

“If you find it weird, I’ll burn it the second we get home. Pretend it never happened, we can… discuss a restraining order if we must-“

“Y/N.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Oh.”

He smiles at you, hands tight on the book in his hands, smiles so big that his eyes crinkle and his teeth show and he looks gorgeous. It tugs directly on your heart strings and just for a second you forget that he cancelled your date, forget that you’ve been pining for years, and bask in the warmth that radiates from him.

“This is… Insane, really.” He laughs, “But also so… so cool. I don’t deserve this, at all, and to think we could’ve gone on a date but I chickened out-“

“What?”

He shrugs with faux-nonchalance. “The-um- the reason I took back the date was because I think you deserve so much better than me. In a, you deserve someone like all the police officers down at the PD, kind of way. I don’t want a pity date-“

You scoff, then with an indignant, “Come in here,” You grab Spencer’s satchel and tug him into your hotel room, closing the door with a forceful push as he turns to face you.

With your hands on your hips, you stare him down with furrowed brows and a look that screams really? “Is that really what you think, Spence? It was a pity date?”

“Well, yeah,” He tells you. The conviction in his voice is so strong that, if you weren’t this riled up, you’d probably tear up at how sure he sounds.

You give another scoff. “Not only am I offended you think I’d do that to anyone, but I’m also mad that you don’t see how I look at you! Spencer, I’ve been into you since I started working here-“ His mouth falls open. You’re exasperated. “-and the notes were a way to get to know you, yes, but they were also because I couldn’t stop watching you and had to play it off like I was doing it for a reason. You’re my favourite, Spencer.”

His heart aches a little, full of such a tenderness he’s never quite felt before. He feels loved, and so, so touched that someone would put so much effort into getting to know him and… years. Literal years you’ve liked him, and he’s been blind to it.

“I like you a lot.” You’re breathless after your little speech, “And if you still don’t want that date, that’s okay. But I like you, Spence, I really like you.”

Your gaze never wavers. Spencer wants to scoop you up and place kisses all over. For the first time in a while, he feels worthy. Like what you’re saying isn’t being said for the sake of it, because you’re his friend and you have to support him, but because it’s what you genuinely think and feel and Spencer might be in love.

He swallows deeply before speaking.

“I really like you, too, Y/N. And I’m-I’m sorry that I cancelled the date and- I should’ve talked to you, maybe, before doing it, but… We’re here now, right?”

“You want to have a date right now?”

Thumbing through the book, he says, “Actually, there’s some blanks in here I’d like to fill, if you’re not busy…”

You’re very clearly on board with the suggestion, basically skipping to your bed, plopping down and patting the space beside you with a grin. “I’m not busy at all, Doctor Reid. Tell me everything I don’t already know.”

So he does, thigh pressed against yours and blush on his cheeks when you let your head fall onto his shoulder.

The night is spent giggling over the most random information you’ve gathered, correcting only one mistake (his favourite socks change every week, not your fault), and adding onto the already plentiful fact file.

And the date that weekend happens, ending in a sweet kiss on your doorstep that leaves you both with shy smiles and thundering hearts.

It’s the first date of many, followed by the creation of a new journal full of all there is to know about your and Spencer’s relationship.

+++

tags: @pinkdiamond1016 @bluerose512 @andreasworlsboring101 @bitchyreids @roses-and-grasses @ta-ka-shi-ma @chiffonchronicles @rexorangecouny @unmistakablyunknown @goofygubler14 @jasongideonapologist @gublertoon @averyhotchner

[slytherweasley]

Replacement (Pansy Parkinson x reader)

warnings: swearing

Summary- Pansy gets jealous when Y/n starts to form a friendship with Daphne. Y/n starts to hang out with her more than Pansy. In their dorm room doing homework and playing wizards chess. Like what Y/n and Pansy do.

At the start of the year Snape put you and Daphne Greengrass together as Potions partners. You both had a history of just disliking each other, there was no reason but you just didn’t like each other. After Christmas break you decided that you would have to be civil to get good grades. After talking and doing assignments together you decided to actually be friends.

“Pans, she is so nice. I don’t even know why I hated her in the first place” you tell your girlfriend cuddled up in her bed. “I’m glad you’re getting along then” she smiles. “She’s coming over so we can finish our potions assignment and finish off some potions homework. You can join if you’d like” “I’m a bit tired so I’ll pass” “Here I’ll do some of your potions homework” “No it’s okay but thank you, princess” “Pans I want to help you out” “Alright, just don’t do it all, okay?” “Okay.” Pansy regretted that moment for weeks.

You and Daphne quickly became best friends, you would study together all the time. You and Pansy used to do that together and she started to despise Daphne, the only thing stopping her from ripping her head off was you. After Daphne would leave you would be in such a happy smiley mood and Pansy loved it. “She’s really funny, she was telling me about this time with her sister” Pansy would smile and laugh when she needed to and the last thing she wanted was to break her heart. She knew that if she told Daphne to stop hanging out with you then you’d never forgive her. So Pansy did what was right for once.

Daphne knocks on the door, you get out of Pansy’s bed and open the door, she greets you with a hug. “I’m so ready for this rematch of wizards chess” Daphne says, together you okay for hours while Pansy reads a book, she couldn’t handle seeing her touch your leg or play with your hair. Pansy is a very jealous person. “I’ll see you tomorrow” Daphne kisses your cheek on the way out and Pansy shuts her book so quickly.

“What was that?” She says angrily “What’s the matter, love?” “She kissed your cheek” you chuckle getting into bed with her. “It’s what straight girl friends do, trust me it’s normal. And Daphne is as straight as a ruler” “Well you’re not straight” “Trust me Pans, I think I know that” “I hate it when she touches your leg or your arm or she plays with your hair or fixes it. That’s my job not hers.”

You give her a kind smile “It’s different with girls and guys, Pans. You’ve got all guy friends, if they want to do all that stuff with you I’m okay with that.” “That is so different” “Thats not at all different!” “I’m a lesbian, that would cause no sexual desire for me.” “I’m not sexually attracted to Daphne” “So you’re just attracted to her?” “No! She is my best friend.” “I thought I was your best friend” “You are, sorry darling. She’s my good friend” “I’m sorry too princess, I know she’s your friend but it’s too easy to get jealous.”

The weekend comes around and you have plans with Daphne, she comes over early to do your makeup. Pansy is still sleeping so you both try to keep quiet, your other dorm mates have already left. “She gets grumpy if you wake her up early on the weekend, so be quiet.”

Daphne accidentally trips you and you both start to giggle waking up Pansy. “Y/n?” Pansy calls out “I’m so sorry, bubs. I didn’t mean to wake you up” you stand by her bed and she notices the makeup. “Where are you going?” “Hogsmeade trip with Daph” “Can I come?” “I’m so sorry, we have to go” Daphne says, “I’ll be quick” “We have to go now, I’ll see you later. I love you.” Pansy doesn’t say it back and they walk out.

She gets mad so naturally she goes to rant. She gets changed and goes down to the common room where her group of friends are sitting on the couch. “Good morning Pansy, you look happy” Draco says sarcastically “Shut up I’m sad and angry” “Are you on your period again?” Crabbe says and the boys laugh. “I want to rant, so you’re going to listen and you’re going to shut up until I can say you can talk, got it?” They nod their heads.

She sits beside Blaise on the couch facing Draco, Crabbe and Goyle. “As you know Daphne has stolen my girlfriend from me and I’m about to kill her after this morning.” “What happened?” Draco asks “I’m about to tell you. This morning I wake up to Y/n on the floor laughing with that bitch, Y/n is the sweetest as usual, being all cute. Then I ask if I can come and I say I’ll be quick and Daphne says no and basically influences Y/n to tell me no. Y/n almost never tells me no. Now you can talk.”

“Well maybe they needed to be there by a certain time” Goyle suggests “No, because it was only an hour ago people are still leaving to go to Hogsmeade now. Do you think she will tell Y/n to break up with me?” “No, Y/n would never do that. She is a Slytherin so she knows how to take care of herself” Blaise says. “I know but she’s not one of us, she’s sometimes easily influenced” “Well you’re a very good convincer maybe it’s just you.” “What do I do?” “Talk to her obviously, maybe tell her all of this.”

Pansy waits all day for them to come back after dinner. “Y/n let’s talk” Pansy holds your hand “Here?” “No our dorm” “Just wait outside, Daph” “No, don’t. Actually don’t bother waiting for her again, just leave her alone.” Pansy takes you upstairs and slams the door shut “That was rude” “I don’t care” “What’s your problem?” “Y/n I miss you.” “I’m here now, we can spend the whole night doing whatever you want, I promise.” “No! I miss the old you, before you spent all your time with Daphne. I tried so hard for weeks to be happy for you but I can’t when I get no time with you. It used to be just you and me and now it’s you and Daphne and I am by myself.”

“I’m sorry you feel like that but I want to spend more time with my new friend, we have done so much together I want to do it with my new best friend.” “I should be your girlfriend, more important than your best friend. I always made sure you felt included when I would hang out with Draco and my other friends. You haven’t even asked if I wanted to hang out too” “I would but Daphne doesn’t like you, she thinks you’re rude” “And you still want to be friends with someone who doesn’t like me, your girlfriend?” “I’m sorry, I really like Daphne. She’s a good friend and she’s the only one I can connect with on similar interests.”

Pansy starts to tear up “I try my hardest to listen to you talk about everything you love and I’ll try harder, I want you back Y/n and I want her gone.” You had never made Pansy cry before, Pansy is tough and she rarely cries so it hurt. You didn’t know what to say “Fine, don’t try to find me or apologise because I won’t hear it.” She pushes past you and spends the night in Draco’s dorm.

You put on one of Pansy’s jumpers and try to fall asleep but it’s hard when you’re not in her arms like every night. The next morning you tell Daphne that you need to stop hanging out so much and you walk around looking for Pansy. You find her in the common room with her friends “Pans?” “Go away, I meant what I said yesterday” “I didn’t, I told Daphne we shouldn’t hang out as much” “Bye Y/n.” You go to the library to calm down.

“Pansy, she seems really upset” “Since when do you care what other people feel, Malfoy?” “We both know she doesn’t deserve that. She loves you a lot and after you told her you don’t like her she broke it off.” “I told you what she said to me, am I supposed to pretend she didn’t tell me she was sick of hanging out with me?” “She didn’t say that” “She meant it.”

After talking to Draco she realised how important you were to her. You walk back from the library and through the common room, Pansy isn’t in there so you assume she’s in your dorm. You go to your dorm and Pansy’s in there reading as always. “Y/n!” She gets up and gives you a hug. “Im sorry, I love you” “I love you too Pans and you were right to be mad” “Let’s just agree to keep things normal” “And to be each other’s number one priority” you agree.

You cuddle on Pansy’s bed. “I love you so much Princess, it’s so nice to be able to do this without any secrets.” “I love you more, so much” Pansy kisses your cheek “Also I still don’t like Daphne” “I know.” You kiss her cheek “Dont ever change, okay? I love your stubborn, beautiful, smart self” “If you love me I’ll never change, promise.”