#im not sure myself about the 2nd and 3rd but i think it is kinda romantic?

[welldrawnfish]

How do I know if I'm plural?

I recently started talking to myself as like, a way to reassure and encourage myself and stuff. Saying stuff like "you're fine, you didn't do anything wrong" or "Do you want to do X, Y, Z... Z? Alright, let's do Z then." And now I'm not sure if it's just a good coping strategy for me or if I might be plural?

Like I'm not sure sometimes if the person doing the reassuring and the person being reassured are the same person, y'know? And sometimes it feels almost like a kind of dialogue, but other times it just feels like I'm speaking into a void? Are we median? Am I only one gal? Dunno!

And idk what if I'm just trying to like. Appropriate plurality because I think it's neat or something. I know and see a lot of systems and genuinely do think plurality is rly cool so what if I'm just trying to be plural on some level. It always feels kinda deliberate when I talk to myself

Needless to say I am very lost and thinking about it is making my head hurt and my chest tighten. Sorry if this is a bit of a long ask you don't have to respond I'm just trying to find answers however I can

I'm a bit under the weather rn im sorry if this is loopy so I want to make a comic on this eventually, Im just no good at general infographics Plurality is vast, complex, and varied. So its hard to say yes or no based on this But heres the three rules I'll follow looking for plurality without typical DID/OSDD redflags 1. If you have opposing thoughts or morals appear in your thinking process, particularly after a stressful event. 2. If you have names, images, or other things associated with these reassuring voice 3. If people say you have different "modes" or literally say you act like a differnet person sometimes and its confusing. 4. If these voices in your head arent... yours. Its hard to explain, but I feel like those with plurality could explain. --- Ultimately if you want to find out if your plural, 1st.

Be ready if you are scared, might freakout, or are actively angry or upset at these thoughts, understand that if an alter can emerge, they wont if they are under threat. You have to be kind, ready to accept them, and most importantly ready to apologize the them if you were toxic before. They can tell if you are sincere. 2nd.

Look yourself in the mirror, ask to meet anybody in there, tell them Thank you for existing.

3rd.

Imagine yourself a headspace if you don't have one. This is an imaginary world that can be anything you want from vast universes to an empty void. But create a place to meet.

Meditate, create a place to see them, to meet them, to speak with them. Be patient, focus on breathing, focus on visualizing the space. Try to exist solely within that space. Invite them there, they might show 4. Be Ready. Plurality cannot be unseen once you see it, your life will never be the same. And ultimately it could be the best thing ever, but it can be incredibly hard, rocky, and bring up alot of trauma in your life. Be sure you want to explore this and are in a point of your life you are able to handle it.

-- If theres any advice from more educated systems let me know, im not the most educated here, these are just whats worked for me.

[ellequarius]

void success story

This just happened a couple hours ago but I had to write it down now so I don't forget some of the details.

So I did my two day routine from monday to wednesday and I ended up dreaming about having a lucid dream on thursday while I was on the bus to school and I knew that I would have a real lucid dream very soon. Anyways thursday night comes and I'm in a really bad mood because my dad turned off my cell service and i have a bunch of school work + a test so I'm thinking to myself oh shit i have to enter the void state tonight. I go to bed at my usual time and since I've been trying to enter the void though a lucid dream for like 3 months now so I kinda know when my REM cycles occur. Im guessing I was in the 2nd or 3rd REM CYCLE when I had this lucid dream.

I dont remember the details of the dream but I do know something bad happened that would put me in psychical danger and suddenly i think to myself "This is a dream." and I IMMEDIATLEY start affirming for the void state. Now when I first woke up I thought i just had another dream about having a lucid dream but i realized that couldnt be true because I felt my body being lift up. When i felt this happen I managed to affirm "I manifest instantly." and then I felt something weird happen again and I was out of the void state. Now i'm not 100% sure if it worked because IDK how long i was there but I decided to test it out before I went to school and affirmed that my cell service was back on. At first I was frustarted because i thought it didnt work and i didnt get to affirm in the void in time before i left BUT my cell service is back on.

I have to go to class now but ill be back soon guys!!

💋 elle

[thatdeadaquarius]

OP your addtion about the Harbinger's reaction? Sent me wheezing to the moon 🤣🤣💀

I dont have any additions to Teyvat language yet (other anons have a more in depth explanations while mine is just shitposts wheEZE--) but I did have an idea for a Genshin AU.

I'm pretty sure everybody has heard about the blue alien people Avatar. Tribal people from another planet. (Also I just stumbled upon the forests of Sumeru while going through Chasm quests. The one that has giant mushrooms).

Imagine Genshin in the Avatar Au. Sumeru can be based on the first movie (It fits cause from what I can explore of Sumeru reminds me of the time I watched Avatar of the first time. Pure awe and wonder..) While the Water nation can be based on the 2nd movie, Hoyoverse hasnt released the name of the Water Country yet so we're just waiting. Mondstadt can be based on the upcoming 3rd (4th or 5th? Idk they had it lined up) movie that involves being high above the clouds. Kind of like the Jade palace or the Floating Abode in the serenitea pot.

Its all I could base for now since the other movies dont have that much info yet to be paired with Genshin's countries.

Bonus idea that randomnly popped into my head:

Still going with this Au but its sagau themed. Creator!Reader arrives to Teyvat and is considered as Eywa

NOW THIS

THIS IS AN ✨️IDEA✨️

I just want u to know i feel b l e s s e d that u put this in MY ask box , when this coulda been a whole post of ur own 💖💖🙏🙏

WARNING: So i havent seen the new movie, just the og Avatar one, and i totally loved that concept about Eywa and how their world works so ill refresh myself but if theres any new lore from the 2nd movie i aint got it yet 💁 srry babs

🎵 FROM THE DAY WE ARRIVED ON THE PLANEETTT

AND STEPPED OUT BLINKING INTO THE SUN

AND THE SUN ROSE HIGH IN A SAPPHIRE SKY

ITS THE CIRRRRCCCLLLEEE OF LIFFFFEEEE 🎵

^ except ur like the life itself bc ur god now

Thats why i put that there

This AU radiates that energy

♤

BRO I TOTALLY FORGOT ABT U MENTIONIMG THE COOL CHASM STUFF AND PICKED THAT GIF ALL ON MY OWN

BC I THOUGHT IF ANYTHING LOOKS LIKE EYWA TREE IN GENSHIN ITS THAT BEAUTIFUL MUSHROOM GOD

ANYWAYS-

So I accidentally posted this too early so keep refreshing or coming back bc if theres no "♡the beloveds♡" im still updating this then LMAO

SRRY GUYS

So anon's a genius and i could listen to u talk about this all day

I fucking love combining world building or lore together

Esp like making one the AU or just the setting like u said with Avatar worlds as settings and same characters-

EEEEEE U ARE EYWA- YESSSSS YESSSSSS I AM YOUR GOD BITCHES!!! SUCK ON MY BIG FAT MAN TIDDIES BITCHES RAHHHHH /REF

♧

So they deffo use "Eywa" as a term for you instead of your name

Honestly, before when u were a mysterious af planet creature thing (lets say u get isekaied there i mean)

Nobody rlly knew if u even could take a mortal form or even thought of that as a concept

I feel like the younger generations immortals and Teyvat's current countries kinda think of you Eywa as more of a passive entity life force thing

Rather than the older immortals and creatures that had seen thru eons or over the course of a couple thousand years

That u were very aware and intelligent

Not that ur energy or aura didnt tell them that alone

◇

So a little deeper into the Teyvat lore here but i dont see anybody else talking about it so I will

Originally, it was the Seven Sovriegns and you, and eventually Phanes and their Four Shades,

And they literally all quickly came to realize u literally made this planet and began to start the first traditions of worshipping you!

Like putting gifts or hand made goods at the base

(Ppl have also gotten a tradition from Morax/Rex Lapis and Guizhong and other adepti to leave birthday letters to offer you, which ties into what i say below⬇️)

Ya know,

Eywa the tree could even be a sort of source to the eyes of Teyvat of what you look like while u were playing the game

Like how Eywa's little jellyfish reach ppl in the forest and shit? I think?

So like i would imagine that whatever u make certain vessels or acolytes do most often, is what they think they should offer u :0

◇

Claymore users give u gemstones and ores

Bow users give u hunted game like fowl, or the treasure from puzzles that required arrows (like those bursting blue balloons?)

Catalysts and Polearms give u all kinda of crazy shit lmao

Bc they can be used for a vareity of things

◇

Bc of ur player status and abilities, people of Teyvat attribute a gain in power or talents or whatnot to you, Eywa

So say u actually physically there now, and u just wake up under the coolest sickest tree youve ever seen in ur life

Omg could u imagine????

Seeing Teyvat irl? But AVATAR WORLD IRL???!!!

You would stand there lookin around like a drunk fuck for like 20 minutes, maybe longer lmao

Its just so ✨️pretty✨️ here

Also the tree itself just feels like, the equivalent to ur bedroom basically but like specifically if it was hella comfy and like just the way u want it (all the decor is up, the floor is clean, u got like hot choco on ur desk, theres a candle burning, etc.)

♤

Oh so since ur like weirdly connected to the land, like u know how theres a voice line abt walking in that glowing aranara part of Sumeru and ur steps light up?

I saw that too in the OG avatar movie

So i feel like u would have a map with ALLLLL the peoples on it and little icons

U can focus on just vision users or bosses or big nature things like Dragonspine

◇

Oh so Eywa can control all animals and whatnot and so u as a mortal person can too

So anytime theres a threat u can deadass just become a pokemon trainer LMAO

Ok but think how badass it would be to just like,

Get the Primo Geovishap or Giant Bird Jadeplume Terror thingy to just leave their territory and wipeout some mfs

(coughunknowngodasomodaycough)

It would be fucking amazing

♧

Unrelated to above bc im just spitting out ideas srry guys

but like

I feel like if u were a lifeforce sort of ancient eldritch god for the entire goddamn continent of Teyvat let alone the whole planet-

You would have to maintain said continent/planet

Like, make sure the Irminsul is growing okay, protect from mfs like Dottore,

Stop diasters if ur Eywa too, esp bc u can hear prayers now, and would hear ppl crying out to help them geez

while the prayers of the many kinda just glob together to form the major "feeling" of the prayer for most creatures,

Vision users, gods, ancient creatures u can get their exact sentences

Basically more magic = better heard to connect with u

◇

Oh u know, i could even see it being even more manual or personal labor bc ur not like a tree connected to ur roots thruout the world technically

Like if volcanoes erupt in Natlan, the archon and gods there help and u r also wanted/needed in person for it to work

U would still be powerful, but yeah like say the tree was u just playing genshin before,

The game automatically regulated diasters and stuff other than what was supposed to happen in game

◇

So kinda bouncing off that I read smwhere that the Na'vi dont actually view Eywa as like omnipotent or omniscient

(like the God™️ from the Christian bible for a example of what your not)

And also! Dont blame/attribute natural diasters, plagues, or other bad stuff on Eywa

So good for you whew 💦

Ur actually supposed to kinda just be the collective lifeforce or Teyvat/world and nature, and a defender and guide of life :0

Which kinda fits with the whole "upgrading characters" thing actually

◇

Okay but I saw somewhere in SAGAU tag someone did another name instead of Creator to spice it up and its "All-Mother"

And interestingly, Eywa in Avatar is also called that and "Great Mother"!!

How fun :0

Also, the reason Eywa still got people with free-will is bc they kinda described the relationship to Eywa being something like a mother or parent

Maybe where name/titles came from ig?

Either way, ppl be calling u all types of nicknames u aint heard before lmao

I mean ur sacred, they dont just say ur name,

Nobody knows ur real name or what u call yourself

Just what they call u

Bc they couldnt communicate with u super well before, (the bday letters were the closest they got verbally, and even then they had to be addressed somewhat to ur first vessel the traveler to get thru/be seen)

Otherwise yeah u operating them lets say before on Earth you rlly felt like an eldritch nature deity 💀

Cause u guide them in battles, strengthen their talents and skills and bodies, and feed them food

If they were in battle like needing healing food, u help them heal by consuming it for them so they dont have to take a snack break in battle and

Let me tell u, these denizens of Teyvat who have to constantly deal with magic and monsters and abyss stuff, so a stroll outside ur house gets u in a fight...

...They are very grateful for that needless to say.

Plus i like to think u make fighting easier on them bc ur "guiding" their bodies

◇

Anyway thats a long winded way to say, help me think of all the names Teyvat's given you lmao:

Eywa

All-Mother / Great Mother

All-Father / Great Father

All-Parent? / Great Parent

Creator

Their Grace

Great Puppeteer

The Puppeteer

Soul of Teyvat

Greatest Soul

☆

She aint long bc im not that creative and this idea has sm potential too😔

I would love to be Eywa sounds fun and powerful af and i dont get expected to be Jesus and they know i dont cause the natural diasters, like that sounds nice

Aight im no genius and this writing feels like im just rambling like a drunk guy sittin on the sidewalk mumbling to myself, i had to stop writing 💀

Like that energy specifically-

So lmk if yall got any other cool titles or names :0

I couldn't think of anymore :/

Also srry about the updating this post and making u check back in if u already read this before i put the taglist

(Me putting the taglist means im done editing/writing this dw if u seein this)

Cheers,

🌒🌧🌊Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

♡my beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[ickystickymessonthefloor]

I am officially a fucking slut! I've been on tumbler so much lately and making myself edge that I've been going to work and going out or running errands or whatever with the thought that I would probably let anyone fuck me if they tried. I've been just like in a constant haze of lust for weeks! You'd think that I get hit on constantly and I do, kinda it's just everyone I know is so fucking proper and boring. I went on a date with this frat guy, Kevin. I was literally hoping to get pressured into fucking the whole house, instead he was a perfect gentleman until I finally blurted out "will you please just fuck me" even after that he was like trying so hard to be romantic so I said "can you fuck me like you don't like me"

"What?"

"I want you to fuck me like you don't like me"

"But I do like you. You're the most beautiful girl-"

"Well can you just pretend?"

"Why? I don't understand"

So I just got up and left. Called an Uber home, got home but decided to walk to the corner store first. I don't even remember what I got. I was walking back when some guys in a car started cat calling me, I did what I normally do and ignored them but then without even thinking I lfted my skirt and flashed them my pussy. I was so pissed off at my date I didn't even realize that I was still holding my panties. The guys in the car went silent and I got scared. Wtf did I just do? Why tf did I just do that? I started walking as fast as I could. I didn't hear anything so that had to be good I thought. Finally I reached my front door and unlocked it.

"Babe."

I turn my head and there's Kevin with fucking flowers. The moment I saw him and his pathetic flowers, I swear steam was coming out of my ears.

"Whatever is going on with you just talk to me, we can figure it out together."

I was about to start screaming at him when I felt someone firmly grab my arm, practically lifted me off the ground.

"Yeah babe, we can figure this out, right guys?"

"Fuck yeah we can." I heard one of them say.

He was tall and muscular, 32-ish, with a pretty fair complexion for being mexican. Not bad looking either, and he smelled really good, like aftershave. He was covered in tattoos, all 3 of them were. As he walked me into my house, I felt like I was being brought into the principles office. I had done something bad and got caught. Kevin tried to rush in behind us but the other guys pushed him back.

"Do you know these guys?"

He lifted me up, so I was standing on my coffee table.

"Oh yeah, me and this bitch go way back, ain't that right bitch?" I looked down at him nervously as his hand went up my leg to my ass. He spanked me once hard. "Ain't that right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Me and.."

"You call me King."

"Yeah, I know King."

"You call me Daddy." Said the 2nd one.

"Daddy."

The 3rd one stood up and took off his shirt. "You call me uncle Sal, ok?"

Everyone giggled except Kevin. Then King said. "Don't mind him, just call him Joker. Fucking guy always tryna get big laughs."

Uncle Sal got angry and yelled "Fuck that! This little bitch is gonna call me Uncle Sal! You got that?" Uncle Sal picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and started roughly fingering me saying "what's my name? Huh bitch? What is it?"

"Uncle Sal, Uncle Sal, Uncle Sal!!"

He opened the door to my bedroom and threw me on the bed. "Good girl"

"She under duress, im calling the police." Kevin stated, so sure of himself. Like ninja fast, Daddy snatched Kevin's phone and slapped him so hard he flew to the other side of the room. I've never been so wet in my life. Kevin looked at me, holding his face about to cry. I starred in his eyes and spread my legs. I finally got what I wanted.

MORE LATER

[bigearsbunbun]

1st day in 10th grade 8/29/2023

I literally couldnt sleep that much the night before and ended up staying up until 3AM, though I'm kinda surprised that I slept a bit early than usual so I felt a bit relieved. But knowing that I had to set an alarm so I wont wake up at 10 or 12 AM I was hella depressed from just the thought of having to wake up exhausted af. I ended up waking up at 8AM I was EXHAUSTED I couldnt even move for the first 10 minutes and I just stared at the ceiling. I was having a manic episode the night before because I was so chill and so anxious at the same time I couldnt contain myself.

I later found out that the entrance ceremony starts at 1PM so I felt relieved knowing I dont have to rush.

Then the ceremony began. It was just like the other ceremony I attended last year.....though I was more down that time I couldnt even listen to a single word I was hearing from the people on stage, I was so out of it TT its weird because it felt like 9th grade was just yesterday.....time flies so fast:/.....Anyway when I got there, there was already many students lining up.... it was I think 20 minutes before the ceremony starts I saw some of my friends from my previous school year I'm soooo lucky to have some of my friends on the same class this year...I hope I can make some friends this year too or just at least get along with some of them:D

After an HOUR of standing at the ceremony it finally ended and we all headed to our new classrooms. I was enlightened to know that my classroom was in the first floor cause I have a bad stamina and bad experience from my old school... I was first very happy about it "ohh I get to be on the 3rd floor!!" then months later "I HATE THESE STAIRS" so 2ND,3RD,4TH FLOOR CLASSROOMS?? NUH UH🗣🗣..

So when I got to my new classroom I immediately continue reading one piece cause Im too introverted and shy to even talk to my new classmates, but I'm pretty sure when group activities and all that start happening we'll all talk and get along well:) (probably not everyone though)..ALSO I just realized how much I space out but its not that bad it just happens at times Im seriously not aware which is scary....I believe the term for it is called dissociation but mine is just mild though it happens from time to time I think mine is pretty normal...

When it was time to introduce ourselves my hands were COLD. And when it was my time to introduce myself I just talked fast and sat down, not realizing I didnt include my other hobbies such as reading manga or watching anime but oh well I did tell myself I wont trust people that easily this year and be more secretive about myself since I talk so much about myself when I'm comfortable enough to someone....

A few hours later it was snack break.... some of my friends from our friend group gathered... gosh I miss them so much:{ I dont know but I think I became a bit more quite than last year.... idk though maybe its just me. So then we all started talking about our new teachers... some of them had badluck and have a strict teacher and meanwhile me I was luckkyyy even though I dont really fit in with my new teacher's humor she was still pretty chill and understanding and I relieved about it... though I still hoped that I had the other teacher I wanted to be my 10th grade teacher:( hes pretty strict but hes a friendly guy and teaches well... I hope hes my math teacher this year PLSPLSPLS🤞CROSSING FINGERS

Then a few hours later it was already time to go home...I'm kinda happy that the first day of school wasnt as tiring as last year:D...I walked home.... it was nice since we got dismissed pretty early than the normal school days since its still the first day after all.....I was walking while listening to the songs I downloaded on my phone and look at the sky...it was still 4PM so it wasnt dark outside yet.... it felt nice walking home like that:>.... while walking home I remembered one of my friends eshy gave me her snack since she didnt want any and I couldnt buy snacks at the canteen because it was pretty crowded and looked like it was impossible to even cut in line....I'm pretty grateful to have her as a friend....though she should srsly look out for herself too....so in order to pay her back I stopped at a small store...it was run by an old couple....I used to walk by the store a lot since kindergarten and I rarely bought anything from that store....when I walked in the old man smiled....idk but something about it made me a bit happy since like oh....its been so long since I bought anything from the store and its been...probably years ....he looks different from before....everyone gets old and its a sad thing for me to even think about://....anyway after buying the snacks I then head home and took this picture while walking.....thanks for reading this long ahh journal about my day:DD I usually ramble things in my journal but I firgured I should use this account instead and use it as a digital journal since I rarely post anything on this app, Im also planning on doing this everyday so lets see if I actually do it this time:DD so bye for now MY HANDS HURT FROM TYPING ONG but anyway take care!!

[1d1195]

I would NEVER purposely skip a post of yours! especially Zipper! I love you and them too much to do that!

So Im not on the semester system, it's actually the quarter system! Which means I have 10 weeks of instruction and 1 week of finals! So I will be finishing up my second out of the three in the academic year. Truly hell lol midterms start the end of the 2nd week for some classes.... like today (Tuesday) I had my 3rd and final math midterm and our final exam is this Saturday. Truly insane lol OMG ALSO THIS WAS MY LAST DAY WITH MY HOT PROFESSOR 😭😭😭 so sad about that because I wont get to see that man anymore! LIKE WHERE IS MY MOTIVATION GONNA COME FROM NOW?! and we had our final presentations today and I got a compliment from him and dear god that sliver of praise made me dizzy😵‍💫

ANYWAYS! Im glad you have other writers as a support system!!! and yes! miss fireflies is so kind in general! and it's good to vent especially with someone you're comfortable with!

Im glad you're feeling a bit better about it! It's okay to have those feelings and sometimes you just have to feel them. I think overall tumblr has been a bit "slow" in general but maybe a middle of the week post may help? Like a little treat to keep going until the weekend? IDK either way you know your readers vibe so whatever you decided to do will be good!

ABAHAH OMG WE ARE BOTH BROWN HAIRED AND EYED GIRLIES CONSTANTLY OVERWHELMED!!! truly an accurate description of myself lol you're not alone at least!

and im kinda honored that you thought it was me?! liar is SO ME coded due to the lack of allowing myself to experience good things in life but that's a different story lol like Im about to fangirl for a bit but they did this podcast called song explore and they went into detail of how they made it in terms of instrumentation and all and UGH THIS WAS SO GOOD! i don't think ive ever mentioned it before but I was a musician so learning the details of the composition was a gift! Also if you ever need sad song inspo i got you bc the majority of my playlist is depressing lol

ANWAYSSSSSSSSSS im glad im back too! Hope you're well and that your week is good!!!-💜

Omg I would never think you purposefully didn’t read something! But still, you know I don’t expect you to read everything; I kind of thought you forgot and I sort of anticipated a follow up message! 💕😉

QUARTERS of course! I don’t hear of too many schools doing that so I totally forgot that exists. Well that makes more sense. That’s so overwhelming, V, I’m sorry :( I’m sure you’re used to it now but I would cry everyday so I have no doubt you’re doing phenomenally and I’m so proud of you!!! Omg RIP hot professor. I’m going to miss him 😭 you should go to his office hours if you need help with another class every once in a while just to say hi 😉😉

I would die without Miss Firefly having to put up with me all the time 😂

I didn’t know you were a musician!!! I’m musically DE-clined so I could never but that’s amazing. You have to be SUPER smart 😭 I can sing a little but I’m not good at instruments or composition or anything. God bless.

Every time I think my weeks can’t get crazier, they do 😂 but I’m alright. Excited to do NOTHING on Saturday

Xoxo

P.S. I think it’s cute we’re both brown haired and brown eyed 💕

[gillgmesh]

Do you think spaghetti is a romantic food? And if yes, do you think Lady and the Tramp helped it become a romantic food? Or do you think it was already one before then? And what other food do you think is considered romantic?? What food do you think is romantic that may not seem romantic to everyone?

[lazycosmos]

Lazy in Space Thoughts Pt.2                     Reanimated

Hey all! I recently watched the reanimated eps of Bee and Puppycat on Netflix and wanted to share.

Spoilers and all under the cut! 🐝 🐾

I really loved getting to see the older episodes reanimated in the newer style, the colors were spectacular! And I liked that they actually tried to set things up earlier like showing some of Bee’s dad, the ship under the ocean, and the ‘hands’. I also enjoyed seeing some new locations and outfits for Bee though, I hate to say I’m once again left with some mixed feelings

--------------------

While it was nice seeing the newer style, the characters at times looked a little off? I don’t know if it’s because of the style but so often everyone looked off model. Deckard’s design stood out the most to me. Also sometimes the facial expressions weren’t as exaggerated in the style as much as it could’ve been

idk maybe it’s just me

----------------------

The episodes were rushed overall, so much was skimmed over and it seemed they only did that to shove other plot threads in from season 2 that already existed. In the 2nd reanimated episode, ‘who would want this’, Bee just has the gum randomly, they barely set up Bee’s dislike of water, and it doesn’t really end with her bonding a bit with Puppycat like before (he neither helps with the farm or saves Bee from the cats in the bathhouse).

Then reusing the video game temp job from Bee’s birthday in the original for a montage sequence in ‘who would want this’ actually made me a little sad. It felt so hollow when that was an episode I really enjoyed and related to Bee--her doing all the sidequests to distract from things she didn’t want to deal with and because it felt good to be good at something. Which is instead replaced with her making perfect donuts in the 3rd reanimated ep ‘What do you want to be?” by doing basically nothing...

Also in that ep she says she ALWAYS goes to the arcade for her birthday when in the original she didn’t like to do anything on her birthday because of the memories it brought up about her dad (and possibly her being sick). The moment between Bee and Deckard when she finds out he was leaving was also toned down and had so little emotional impact compared to the original. That was one of my favorite scenes and it felt like nothing here.

I found myself barely relating to Bee at all in this. and she emotes/reacts waaay less than before and lacks in dialogue a bit. Also Bee and Deckard’s relationship seemed watered down too. I didn’t get the idea that they’d known each other for years, it was written like they were casual friends instead. He didn’t even know when her birthday was in this.

-----------------------

Then Deckard and Cass just accept Cardamon being the landlord?? They only question it once and then start asking a CHILD to check out the house and kick out Toast??? It was so weird

Speaking of Cardamon, I don’t know why  the emotional moments with him and his mom were so toned down when they a chance to do more with it. I think they could’ve showed a little more of how he struggled or why he has no caretaker. It’s just acknowledged that he’s alone once and then forgotten. I would’ve taken more of that than a pointless ‘origin story’ of how he ran into Sticky.

-----------------------

Puppycat’s character got some of the worst of it imo. he’s way more destructive and a jerk this time around for some reason? Somehow less fleshed out than before. I’m not sure what they were trying to get at with him. I was also confused at him not minding being a ‘pet’ when before he absolutely detested it and was often destructive because of others treating him like one or him frustrated not being able to do certain things. There were also sooo little moments between him and Bee that their relationship wasn’t built much.

-------------------------

So many of the jokes and memorable dialogue were lost too here and there. I was kinda disappointed to not have the “You took too long, now yo candy’s gone. That’s what happens--BAKOW!” Or “IM SHOVIN THE CROTCH ICE UNDER THE DOOR” Those were so much more memorable to me and some friends and I still quote stuff from Season 1 to this day lol

even gags like Puppycat mindlessly floating into Cardamon’s living room to watch Pretty Patrick in season 1 was gone

--------------------------

At the end, I was left with a sort of shallow reimagining of Bee and Puppycat Season 1 with certain plot threads and moments haphazardly spread about only to service Season 2. :( idk, maybe I just sort of hoped for a little more since they went through all the effort to reanimate it all? Guess I didn’t expect to have as similar disappointments as I did with Season 2. Anyway, feel free to share your thoughts, at least I’ll have some more lovely screenshots for you all! 🐝 💛 🐝

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[mrfutureboy]

I would like to know when you started drawing and where your passion for fanart started 😊

Oh FUCK dude i did not see this i’m so fucking sorry this is so late 😭 damn you, tumblr, for not fucking notifying me!! Anyway buckle up this is gonna be much longer than you asked for <3

Honestly ive kinda been drawing all my life! I hope that doesnt sound dumb cuz obviously almost everyone drew pictures when they were kids, but i know that it’s been a consistent hobby for me since i was little. By the time i was in 3rd grade I was hoarding notebooks to draw in. Cuz that’s something fun about me: i had a real huge habit of drawing in things that werent sketchbooks. Through middle school and beyond I did buy/receive sketchbooks, but I started out with various kinds of notebooks. One I had from like 2nd grade was like a hardcover, stationary-type notebook that I drew cats in lol, and I have 2 velvet lisa frank notebooks from 3rd grade. In high school and college I had a really bad habit of drawing in the margins on my notes and on handouts the teacher/professor would give. Those classes where the prof just prints out all the notes beforehand and gives them to you to follow along? Oh man, I spent so many classes barely listening while I drew on them! I also used to draw on my physics homework and tests and sometimes I even got extra credit for them (thank you jeff :D). I actually have a folder of various drawings I’ve kept from that 8yr time period and a lot of them are on classwork 😂

Obviously, I’ve been doing a lot of digital art lately, which I’m sure is what u were more curious about rather than the shit about drawing on my homework. I got a surface pro as a graduation gift in 2016 bc prior to that i had a wacom tablet and a janky ass laptop, so the gift was kinda a 2-in-1: i can do schoolwork AND art easily! i like digital art a lot and honestly im still learning new things abt it every time i draw. I use Leonardo currently (i’ll skip that story) but I started out doing digital art on sketchfu WITHOUT the wacom tablet in maaaaybe 2012??? 2011??? does anyone on this site remember sketchfu? Honestly couldnt even tell u how i found that site hahah the internet was just full of wonders back in the day. RIP sketchfu. Once i got the tablet tho some time later i used sketchfu still (i think) but also gimp and krita i believe.

Oh i suppose I should mention that i took art all four years of highschool and also minored in it in college! So it’s something i did academically as well as for fun. I keep thinking about going to art school for realsies but idk. I’m already $$$ in debt from my first degree i dont feel like adding to that 😅😓

Ok now for the second part of your question: I’ve also pretty much always done fan art! Ive never really been one for OC’s, EXCEPT for the self-insert superhero double life “comics” i wrote about a poodle named Sassy when i was in third grade. And then the knock off “comics” i wrote at a later time which honestly it was weird that i did a knock off of my own thing rather than just adding them to the original or making it a spin off with at least one of the og characters. Cuz it wasnt a spin off!! But anyway there wasnt really much to any of these characters; i just needed vessels to get my weird ideas out.

So anyway yeah most of what ive ever drawn has been fan art or self portraits, because its just easier for me to take characters that already exist and bend them to my will (artistically). Well excluding art assignments in school i guess because i would usually have to draw something specific and therefore not something self indulgent. But yeah ive drawn for lots of fandoms like the earliest i remember is warrior cats. Then theres things like pokemon and warriors and random other books i read thru middle school (i used to read a LOT but now im practically illiterate); spn, sherlock, and marvel through high school; and then marvel and bttf thru the end of hs and beyond. Idk i also have always loved looking at other peoples fan art and so im like “shit i wanna do that too!”. Tho i will say marvel was my biggest fandom and the one i had the longest interest in, so that was probably where the passion REALLY came from cuz I was drawing marvel stuff for such a long time (tho not posting shdjsk u have to trust me), but ive been doing fan art forever :)

(Of course, a lot of the fan art i was making prior to recently was drawn in lined notebooks or on homework sheets or what have you, and I wasn’t posting really any of it, but i was still making it and a good chunk of it still exists. Oh i should also mention most of it was with pencils or ballpoint pens like i wasnt doing anything too fancy. There was some digital art in the highschool-college time frame but it also really wasnt…much. Honestly i barely posted any of it here but I know some of it’s on deviantart)

I cant pinpoint the exact time I started getting more “serious” about my art in general, but i know the first pandemic lockdown gave me more free time and i was less stressed about schoolwork so i just kinda had a good outlet. (Tho i will say that prior, I had been in a life drawing club for a short while, and i had also been working on a personal sketchbook project that had me pretty ~inspired~ to do art. Also i watched twin peaks around this time and it inspired a lot of Feelings and i was making funky collages and other art pieced that were sometimes related to that. Some of those are on deviantart)

Honestly I think the Big thing with my digital art was coincidentally getting back into BTTF the summer of the 35th anniversary bc the fandom here was THRIVING and i was like “oh shit wait i want to contribute!” But as i kept drawing i kept wanting to improve and that leads us to right now where im constantly trying new things (whether subtle or obvious) and challenging myself to do full body drawings with different poses, and doing screencap redraws and what have you for various reasons (backgrounds, proportions, pose, etc)

So yeah :) Basically I’ve been doing fan art forever (I didnt even get into all the mediums ive tried but that’s another conversation bc this is already so long and convoluted) and it’s kinda coincidental that ive suddenly really gotten back into it and have improved dramatically in such a short time. Thank you so much @rovermcfly for the ask and again im really sorry you had to wait so long for a response! Stupid tumblr

[onceuponamidnightdrizzle]

im stuck between “ i’m nobody’s favourite person” and “ i have no favourite person”

like no one calls me to tell me about their day, the gossip. no one comes to me first about their issues, im not first in line for any of these.

I have close friends, but not a singular best friend, I kinda have a best friend of each social group i’m in, but its less intense. but everyone else i know has a best friend. 

however, at the same time, i don’t feel comfortable telling people about myself, my deep insecurities, i can joke about it sure, but no one pries too deeply on it, just a few surface level pokes, to which i respond “ no, its no big” and its the awkward silence. i feel like people don’t actually want to listen to me. but also at this point, i know these people who jump in front of a bus for me, and i understand with my issues, it’s a me thing. i can’t rely on others to help me with executive dysfunction and the anxiety and self-hate that come with it, to name 1 example. and these people aren’t therapists, i already have those, so telling them, to me, seems pointless; will only cause them worry. they aren’t capable of helping, and that’s okay. 

 I have favourite people though. but like one per each group, and i’ll text them all the time, but i know im not their favourites and they know their not mine. and being 3-5 people’s 2nd or 3rd favourite is not the same as being just 1 person’s favourite, not even close. but i can’t say i’m unloved. 

but also I have this weird effect on people, and idk how much of it is gen z known for being a bunch of oversharers or the fact that i try really hard not to judge people and just listen, but people will tell me their deepest dark secrets, kinks, and other such private thoughts within the first like 2 and a half hours of me meeting them for the first time. yes, I think alcohol and partying is a factor in this but by like day 2, i’m one of their close friends. they’ve even told me as such. “ its weird, we met last week but it feels like i’ve known you for years” 

but those are usually temporary because a) i stop being useful but more often than not nowadays b) i tell them i can’t be their sole support and they get offended and think im trying to leave them, which im not but y’know, abadonment issues, and then we drift apart or i get ghosted. but sometimes c) we transition to close friends truly. 

I think part of it is that I do enjoy talking about my niche interests and funny things that have happened to me, but only surface level stuff. that john mulaney quote “ I guess I thought that no one would want to be friends with just me, i needed to have more to offer” really sums that up. i’m always so surprised that people want to hang out with just me, no other friends. like they want to catch up with me, not the group. blows my mind. 

[datleggy]

I’m autistic and one of the things I have trouble with is change. I’ve watched 911 since the third episode and now they have a second one? Idk. I’ve been seeing a lot of good things about it but I’m not sure if I want to watch it. Basically what I want to know is if it’s worth watching. Is it good? Are there any parallels between the new one and the Buck one? Who are the characters and what are they like? Will you start writing for this series instead of the other one? %

so, this got WAY longer than i thought it would, sorry!!! TL;DR is at the very very end!

tbh i didn’t wanna really give 911 lonestar a chance originally, i was lowkey annoyed bc it felt like they were like “oh u guys want buck and eddie, who are CLEARLY meant to be and have all this canon chemistry and relationship development to eventually get together??? lol NOPE but here’s a spinoff where u get ur white/latino gay ship :D”

which i do genuinely hope to god isn’t the case, like, i really need OG 911 to be like PSYCH here u go, some DIAZ-BUCKLEY fam. as a treat.

i did end up watching it bc curiosity and too many awesome gifsets finally got to me lol

and im only a couple of episodes in (haven’t had a chance to watch the 3rd ep bc of work and other things D: ) and so far i gotta say, i like the OG 911 calls that they get sent to more than 911 lonestars calls but again, im only 2 ep in, maybe they get more “woah thats crazy/hilarious/hearbreaking!” as the show goes on.

i honestly don’t see too many parallels between Buck and TK—the only thing i noticed where they’re pretty similar is how much they both enjoy easy physical contact. buck is very touchy feely and comfortable about showing affection/feelings and i feel like TK is the same regarding physical contact (with his dad at least)? but that’s about it.

for what it’s worth i do think the show is pretty entertaining and worth a watch!

my main reason for watching past the first episode is my enjoyment of the characters. i just think they’re all neat.

this is from a post i made when i first watched the show lol:

captain strand: good dad to all of his children

tk: hot gay messy boi

grace ryder: a fave, no nonsense beauty, judds better half

judd ryder: tragic big boi

captain blake: chaotic good w baby voice

marjan: wild feral messy gurl

mateo: if anybody’s mean to my SON im throwin hands bih

paul: again, if anybody’s mean to my SON im THROWIN hands

officer reyes: ready to dick tk down

here’s a more descriptive/longer summary of the characters if u wanna know more, if not skip down to the bolded sentence below lol:

owen strand is the captain (played by rob lowe) and to me he gives off chris traeger vibes (from parks and rec if u watched?) but with more depth. i like his character a lot, he’s a caring dad, seems like he knows what he’s doing, and like, c’mon, it’s rob lowe (i fell in love with him a million years ago when he played soda pop in the outsiders nipr;guebwuogrnofw)

tk is his son and a hot gay mess w some substance abuse issues (tho a lot has happened to him in only 2 ep i really don’t know how to feel about him entirely, bc besides stuff happening TO him, i don’t feel like he’s reacted in a way that shows much of his character?) idk maybe it’s just me. but he is a certified cutie so. lol

grace ryder, she’s smart (one of the only characters with more than ONE brain cell lmao) and gorgeous and an emergency 911 operator. she’s very supportive of her husband and what he’s going thru (which is A LOT), she herself has been thru a lot bc of the big incident at the beginning of the series and is still somehow held strong in spite of it all, she’s a personal fave of mine.

judd ryder is kind of a dick at first but i think its very understandable given the hell he’s been thru, im actually surprised at the amount that i like him. he’s very raw and vulnerable but has this “don’t worry im fine, back up” attitude that i loooove. 

captain blake is the captain for EMTs, she’s got this soft teeny baby voice that contradicts so hard with her give no fucks ima do what i need to to find my missing sister actions irwughqwgoriegjf i like. she’s caring and does goes out of  her way for the little guy.

marjan has ZERO chill but in a good way, i can already absolutely see her getting into trouble by doing some crazy impulsive thing on a call in order to rescue someone—-TBH she actually reminds me a lot of Buck from OG 911 in that way. like yea she’s reckless and impulsive but u can tell its bc she CARES and this firefighting thing is what she’s meant to do. i really like her.

mateo—-OH MAN. he’s 10000000% my favorite. it hurts me everytime he’s on screen, bc he’s such a sweet and HARD WORKING man and he deserves to be a firefighter and do what he wants/has been waiting for for so long, im so HAPPY captain strand gives him a chance. i think he might have some learning disability or maybe he grew up in a household where maybe his family was too busy or didn’t care to check up on how he was doing in school and they neglected to see how much he was struggling—this is all just pure speculation from the fact that on the show he tells captain strand during the interview that he’s always passed the physical exam to be a firefighter but keeps failing the written part :( i love my son.

paul is a trans firefighter who’s mainly known for his crazy good observational skills in the field—there’s an ep—ep 2?—that shows off his talent but like, i found it unintentional funny bc the way they did it was in a scene that honestly truly felt to me like a scene I MYSELF would write in a fanfiction if i wanted to show off a cool skill the character has but was also too lazy to make it look good???? lmaoooo im not trying to be mean but like, if u do watch it, its the 2nd ep i believe, the “office meeting” scene. other than that tho there’s only been a few scenes with paul in it (my personal fave being the skin care routine scene lol) but i look forward to more scenes of my son being a lil sherlock holmes :)

officer reyes is tk’s potential new mans. he seems like a good cop from what little ive seen of him doing police work. so, i saw a post someone made basically saying how ugly are the men in texas that officer reyes is out here thirsting over tk so HARD—and not to be rude, but he really is!!!! reyes is a goodlookin guy, so idk what’s up with that, maybe he likes messy bois? bc same.

p.s. im not sure how to feel about reyes and tk together yet bc it doesn’t really seem as if they have too much chemistry. hopefully that changes? i do kinda like that they haven’t started off their potential relationship on the best of foots, bc i love drama, an indisputable fact.

ONTO THE FINAL QUESTION!

OG 911 will always be my first love and i just don’t see this changing anytime soon. buddie will always be the #1 ship in my heart! and i have about a gazillion awesome prompts i need to work on so me switching over to 911 lonestar isn’t gonna happen. i love OG 911 way too much iuqhur4ogfoie3jwnwjinioj

tho i may occasionally—per the request of prompts i’ve gotten in the last week or so–take a couple of the characters from 911 lonestar and put them in a 911 fic as a crossover? we’ll see.

this ended up soooo long oruhibgruoeqwp i hope some of it helped tho?

tl;dt: 911 lonestar seems fun and the characters are interesting enough to keep me entertained so i say give it a chance  :)

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Ostracized as usual Denise loudly tells every one she's making corn dogs and asks if they want some...

Then she asks Nathaniel in Spanish how many.

I'm in my room with my door shut and nothing but the air on... I'm not deaf and she opened my daughter's door to ask her and she rejected the offer.

But Denise is acting really cheerful like I knocked something loose other than her scalp loose.

I feel like it's fake but tree says i was going at least 60 mph and my very good quality glass screen protector cracked all the way across... And my phone screen was being weird after, showing green dots where i typed... Which isnt normal...

So like I mean i fucked her up... Like enough to do something to her brain? Or is it like dopamine and shit for pain still going in her chemical system?

I think it's fake... Idk... I don't trust her.

Tree says I fucked her up straight to her brain and knocked some tar loose.

I guess...

But it's weird... Cause she's never cheerful...

Like I'm waiting for us all to die. She could have some frontal lobe pressure that is really doing her a number though... Taking out that psycho sociopath shit She has usually.

That's probably it... If nothing else...

Oh they tell me she had tar injected up past her eye into her skull between her brain and skull... And it got knocked loose...

Well that is fucking weird.

She shouldn't be ostracizing me then! I think she's plotting...

She will be the happy one and I'll be the mean miserable one and so no one will mind if I go missing then she will go back to being psycho

Or she will be all "I kicked you out. Get out" but be all "no.not me.I'm the nice one. You have seen this"

Tar syndrome can't save us all.

Apparently she didn't even tell my Uncle Dad but i did. I wrote an email to him at that police station because i thought i was going to jail And I was not gonna have her go lie about that. Where I was or what i did. So i told him exactly in chronological order without many details exactly.

And I admitted to busting her head open.

Which tree posted and our replies.. And explanation of my adoptive father's existence.

But no way was she gonna go just tell her side. Sure to the cops fine. But not any where else. Not like I expected him to bail me out but I wanted him to know the truth and all that. Because she lies about Everything.

And i figured she would lie about where I was or what happened. Because i didn't know what was going on to be honest and i was all "man I'm fucking going to jail cause she's fucking bleeding because I couldn't control myself and did what I wanted to do for so fucking long"

It was worth one night in jail no charges. You know what i mean? Like just one. Then like "you know what? Forget about it my husband said this was bad to press charges on my kid" type shit

Like "drunk tank me" then let me go.

It was hot in the truck and I wanted to go sit in the shade on the sidewalk but i didn't trust her she got Nathaniel to give me a ride and i was all this bitch is gonna leave my ass stranded the first step I make out this truck.

Because that was what she wanted in the first place!

What the fuck. Its not the first time she's pulled over in that exact spot but before i told her i would get out and she was all "forget it" and I told her "you do that again and I'm gonna beat your ass"

She laughed in my face

And well I pounded her head in enough, apparently.

Excuse me but I get fucking mail on Monday even if it's a holiday. The fucking bitch just took me on Saturday

What does she think? The tooth fairy brought it?!?!

Just goddamed already.

A fact is a fucking fact. I loose my goddamed shit sometimes.

I don't even remember even talking to her. I just remembered like next thing I knew her hair was in my hand and I was all ... Wait what am I doing? Yes I want to do this and I used both hands to yank the shit out of it. 2x

The 2nd time because i could. Because she really tried to hit me! Ugh.

The 3rd time.. Like i knew the second she pulled out from the stop when she told me to,get the fuck out she was taking me to the police station and that is why i pulled her hair

Cause I was like bitch.

Then the 3rd time I planned that... I was gonna make it good if she turned on that street... But I didn't know what my brain knew subconsciously because I was all hey body what are you doing? Cell phone Stabbing her skull?! Not what I had planned but okay! Sure why not.

Then i was all fucking damit it i broke my nail. This is bad. I shouldn't did that plus she was bleeding allover the place and i was all this is it

I can't even pretend I didn't do it. Its too late

I couldn't lie my way out if I tried. I didn't feel bad. I didn't feel scared. I didn't fucking care any more

I was pissed at myself because my kid was gonna be stuck without a mom. Even temporary. Just for a night.

That's why I told my Uncle Dad. Like I said I wasn't looking for bail. But I knew he would want the truth and he always told me to tell it.

So even if I wasn't sorry I still had to admit what I did, for my kid. He always told me that. "Just tell the truth even if you're not sorry. Even if you're proud"

"But doesn't that prove guilt in the eyes of the law?"

"It doesn't matter"

He'd yell... 'Does this look like court? I'll get you a lawyer!' Cause I'd ramp up a huge thing But... The end of the game..

Just tell the truth.

That's what I learned from him.

Maybe my kid would be super pissed and I would deserve her hate at me for not caring about her and being stupid for 10 minutes.

Because it was. It was stupid.

And I'm lucky she didn't press charges and the only reason she didn't is because she's a horrible person and did horrible shit to me as a kid and my Uncle Dad always has taken my side Because I am honest and good and he has always told her she will find a new place to live if she ever presses charges on his kids.

Thats why I got him this shirt for father's day which I already gave him

2..

But yeah my kid would beat my ass if my Uncle didn't have that threat on Denise.

And I would deserved it.

So y'all people fucking around. I'm not a hypocrite. I know what I deserve for what I did.

I know it wasn't right

I owned up to it and I was ready to accept the punishment although I didn't want to. If she chose to, I had no other choice

She was dripping blood all over her shirt at s very rapid pace and she should have gotten stitches.

I feel kinda bad that she didn't. But she chose to lie and hide what really happened.

No one should be treated like she was.

If you are in a relationship like she is

A family like she is

A home she is

You should leave.

I don't say that because i hate her

I say that because we abuse her.

She abuses us. So, we eye for an eye and abuse her back.

So watching that video with no other information. Anyone in a relationship like that should leave.

Y'all know me and our history and so it's different

But no back story and out of context.. It was out of control and could be manifested into a different kind of tale.

And most people in the world shouldn't be treated like she was

If I was her and I was someone else that was say a boyfriend not DNA4U approved or stranger... I would thrown me out of the car, too. And I have, in the past.

So out of context what she did, driving to the police station... Was kinda the right thing to do but I beat her ass and that part is usually deserted but Jack called ahead because he knew I was hitting her and he knew in ESP connection what she was planning. Just as i did.

It is what caused her head to bleed. Like I said I planned it.

She should had went to a gas station or other public places that would been safer ... Especially how that police department is situated.

The back door is open. Not the front. But Jack sent someone out because he knew.

So... If any of you are in that situation you should press charges.

Next time they could kill you

I blacked out. Had she not been driving, i may had killed her.

Im being honest.

[mexicaneurolover]

Junior Eurovision 2019 my top 19 Pre-Live Show

Well hello people around the world!! It’s me again with this provisional top 19 for this Junior Eurovision that will take place on Gliwice-Silesia on November, maybe this will change after the contest takes place and I’ll post another top with the final reactions and actual results... so let’s go!! 

1st Place: FRANCE/Carla-Bim bam toi 

After Angelina’s 2nd place last year, France send us this absolute banger, this is infectiously catchy, the lyrics are so nice, the music is crazy but this is what my inner child loves, also I’m expecting a lot for this entry, any of my top 5 songs would make wonderful winners, so GO FRANCE as well. 

2nd Place: SPAIN/Melani García-Marte 

Spain returned and what a return!!!! Melani is such a great singer, she definitively has the vocals, the lyrics are pretty, the music is breathtaking and I always want to cry with this song, GO SPAIN!!!! 

3rd Place: POLAND/Viki Gabor-Superhero 

If someone told me that Poland was going to be a powerhouse at JESC, I wouldn’t have believed it, but this latest years they have been sending bops, and this isn’t the exception, this is pure awesomeness, Viki sings pretty nice and I don’t mind Poland winning twice in succession, I’d be down for it. 

4th Place: SERBIA/Darija Vračević-Podigni glas (Raise your voice)

Another song I think is going to do very well, this builds up very well and I hope everything will be on place on the final night, the music is strong, the message is good and well, I just love this entry. 

5th Place: IRELAND/Anna Kearny-Banshee

This is pure perfection, her voice, the music, the feeling, for once... DON’T ROB IRELAND!!!!!! I want this in the top 10, they deserve it and Anna has a very pretty voice. And we don’t have the final version, so I hope it will slay. 

6th Place: UKRAINE/Sophia Ivanko-The spirit of music 

Ahhhhhh I remember when I had this song last, but the revamp lifted this to the sky, a relaxing feeling, a nice singer, it has a nice hook and wow, I fell in love with this, such a pleasant entry. 

7th Place: THE NETHERLANDS/Matheu-Dans met jou 

A pure pop banger, a nice singer with nice vocals, what can be wrong with this song, very catchy and for sure this will finish in the top 10, GO MATHEU.  

8th Place: NORTH MACEDONIA/Mila Moskov-Fire 

Ranking this high places was very difficult because I love all the songs that will come after this. This was a pleasant surprise and this is a very strong entry, so PLEASE I want North Macedonia to finish higher than 12th place for once. 

9th Place: ALBANIA/Isea Çili-Mikja ime fëmijëri 

Awwwwww I love this song, this is amazing and Albania is giving us a lot of bops, so I hope this won’t be underrated and have a good placing, a lovely lovely ballad. 

10th Place: MALTA/Eliana Gomez Blanco-We are more  

WEEEEEEEEEE MALTESE, and wow this is a very good song!!!! Also I think Eliana has amazing vocals so this for sure will finish top 5, the music is wow and yes, I like it. 

11th Place: WALES/Erin Mai-Calon yn curo (Heart beating) 

WAAAAAALES please don’t let this song come last, maybe the revamp isn’t what I expected but it warms my heart, also she sings so well and who knows... this can give a surprise. 

12th Place: PORTUGAL/Joana Almeida-Vem comigo (Come with me)

Welcome to the clown opinion of this top: this is my guilty pleasure (as much as all the Portuguese entries at this point), this promises to be an upbeat song but it’s kinda trance? Maybe someone left the button pressed and the song has a repetitive beat, this aside, I like it and hope this will do as better as expected. 

13th Place: ARMENIA/Karina Ignatyan-Colors of your dream

Here’s where my stan list starts. This song is very goooooooood, I love her voice, the music is very nice, this overall feels like a pleasant song and I want this to do well, go Karina!!!

14th Place: BELARUS/Liza Misnikova-Pepelny (Ashen) 

Hmmmmm... at this point I think this is my grower because it has a catchy beat and maybe the song isn’t 100% of my taste but it’s Belarus, they always do great things on stage and this won’t be an exception, maybe this will be my grower?

15th Place: AUSTRALIA/Jordan Anthony-We will rise 

Wow this youngster for sure has the vocals, the song isn’t that special for me but I can see this in the top 10 with the help of the juries, this needed a bit of an oomph to place it higher on my list, a nice pop tune. 

16th Place: GEORGIA/Giorgi Rostiashvili-We got need love 

This has a nice feel to it, a relaxing vibe, the beat is amazing and I see myself ranking this higher after the show, also, he has a nice voice so let’s see how this goes. 

17th Place: ITALY/Marta Viola-La voce della terra 

Again, Italy has had great entries in their short JESC story, but this is much in the line from last year, the lyrics are very good but this fails to impress me in a quite strong field of songs, I wonder how will this finish in the final results because I said the same about What is love and it finished top 10 so... you never know 

18th Place: KAZAKHSTAN-Yerzhan Maksim-Armanyńnan Qalma  

After their amazing and wig snatching debut, this feels like a letdown, this is very Disney-ish (and at some point I imagine him at an ice castle, wonder why) the music has great elements and he seems like a lovely lad, maybe this will be a growe but for now, I’ll place it here  

19th Place: RUSSIA-Tatyana Mezhentseva and Denberel Oorzhak-A time for us 

In this very bottom of the list we find Russia, I love the voice of Denberel but the song is very... meh compared to the other entries, as with all the kids I wish them the best and good luck but this isn’t for me 

[livingwithkdramas]

Produce X 101 Position Evaluation Thoughts (Post ep 6/7) VOCAL/RAP POSITION

I just had a lot of thoughts after watching episodes 6 and 7 so just gonna rant here.

Firstly i just want to put it out there this the first time i followed a produce x 101 series for so long mainly because my main picks since the start are still there! (I’m looking at park sun ho and nam do hyun)

PLEASE DON’T GET ANGRY BECAUSE THESE ARE PURELY MY OWN OPINIONS WARNING LONG LONG POST AHEAD

So im just gonna go thru each performance and share my thoughts on each trainee of course im naturally going to be sort of biased so ill just follow my feelings.

VOCAL POSITION

4th. TO MY YOUTH stage,

I would say this was my least anticipated stage and i feel this is generally not a stage I would rewatch very often in the future. I’m not saying its bad in fact I love how emotional they are since I know very well how hard these lyrics hit myself being a avid bol4 fan. I just didn’t really like the arrangement of the song, its inevitable but comparing it to the original this arrangement seemed to dull out their voices abit as in it felt too loud. I think it was the adlibs that really sounded too loud when i was listening, it was emotional yes, but did it highlight their emotion as well as it could? I don’t think so. But other than that i do think this was a well done stage and finally i can start to see why everyone loves kim min kyu.

JIN WOO - I love that he chose this song because this song IS for all the teens out there trying to find their way in life and the lyrics just match him so well too and yeah it was just a good song choice i think.

SE JIN - i just like the tone of his voice its really soft and fluffy and it worked to his advantage in this song

WOO SEOK - He’s up in the ranks for a reason and he maintains that through this performance 

BYUNG CHAN - I felt like he got outshined by woo seok, maybe a poor song choice on his part, felt like his voice would suit day by day more but it is what it is and i think he did well just out shined

MIN KYU - I see improvement from my previous impressions of him and i can see him trying to sing louder as what the vocal trainers told him, only time will tell if he improves more.

3RD DAY BY DAY STAGE

This stage was nice. It was good. But it just did not really pop or leave a super lasting impression. I liked the arrangement into a rainy day style song. I liked the concept that they had. I liked their powerful vocals and harmonies. But it just didn’t stand out for some reason like I really can’t explain it. Its like the I am stage in produce 48 it was good but it just didnt pop.

CHOI SU HWAN - I’ll first declare i am biased towards him so don’t take me seriously but like i found it quite unbelievable that he got 5th place in the live voting because he was hitting those notes darn powerfully and his harmonising with yu bin was really nice and good so yes i like him and i hope he makes it through

SONG YU BIN - Same as woo seok he continues to show why he’s in the top ranks and that there’s a reason why he already debuted really nothing suprising

NAM DONG HYUN - I like his work ethic, he accepts criticism and works hard to get what he wants the arrangement that he did was pretty and his voice matched well with the song but didn’t really have much highlights during the performance apart from the high note with yubin

MOON JUN HO - I have no idea he existed until now but i loved his facial expressions and his voice aint bad but because of the lack of screentime he gets I really can’t talk much about him (im sorry)

KWON TAE EUN - Same as jun ho definitely does not get enough screen time considering the effort they probably poured into the stage

2ND TWIT STAGE

These 5 guys killed it, be it from the arrangement to their voices to their stage presence and performance everything conveyed their teamwork. Also i loved the outfits and the mic stands yes.

YOON JUNG HWAN - This guy’s stage presence is no joke where has he been all along? He knows what he’s doing that’s for sure and he is such a good pick as the center for this song, just watch the performance the way he moves its killer.

LEE HYEOB - WHERE HAS THIS GUY BEEN ALL THIS TIME TOO? When Bae Yoon Jung went “who is he?” i was like exactly I know right? This was a good song choice on his part and now i want him to go through as well maybe i just have a soft spot for independent trainees.

LEE EUN SANG - Clearly he ranked first based on popularity for this live stage but its not to say that he didn’t serve those killer looks, I could see him being a pretty good vocal but for this stage he stood out with the looks

KANG SEOK HWA - Another independent trainee that i have a soft spot for too, didn’t have many lines but was stable and did his job and also meshed well with the rest

LEE MI DAM - Damn if it weren’t for the comments I wouldn’t even be sure/ remember who arranged the song Mnet certainly could have given him some spotlight because i absolutely loved this arrangement into this sort of rock pop song

1ST ME AFTER YOU STAGE

Now this is a stage i’ve been replaying since it aired. This is up there in all the produce performances i’ve watched. These guys are made for ballads with their voices. Also i just love me a ballad and i do feel like this is the avengers team for the vocal position.

KIM YO HAN - He knows how to sing with emotion and when he does it feels like his heart is out on his sleeve, he may not have the biggest range (vocal wise) but he sure can deliver the feels

CHA JUN HO - I love the friendship between him and yo han but he definitely has to thank yo han for helping him but once that shell broke his vocals definitely shine through

KIM HYUN BIN - After the amazing performance with No More Dream i thought he was going to choose a rap position but no he chose a vocal position and he stuns. Similar to yo han he doesn’t exactly have the largest range but he does know how to sing.

HAN SEUNG WOO - He is good. He deserved the first and the center position, i feel like i’ve been saying this alot but he picked the right song he knows how his voice works and i respect him for that. But i wish someone would change his hairstyle.

WEI ZI YUE - He is trying, I can really tell he’s trying his voice is very unique and I’m not quite sure if he knows how to use it yet because the first time I watched the performance it felt a bit jarring because the rest of his team mates have those sort of clear voices but i could see he was trying to enunciate properly so thumbs up for trying.

RAP POSITION

2ND BARCODE STAGE

Before i watched the episode, I had hopes for a good stage because i love this song but after watching it i just wanted them not to cry. I think it was more upsetting because they made mistakes one by one and you could see them visibly getting less and less confident even though they were doing well. I feel sad because I could see the stage that this could have been with their different rap tones blending together and a very emotional lyrics.

WON HYUK - He was sort of evil edited but like he made up for it in his stage, he kept his calm and he kept his composure and i felt like because of that the team managed to finish the song. He was the only one that didn’t make a mistake and in fact i felt like he rapped harder because he wanted to make up for his team mates mistakes and he was good as a rapper which is surprising after his energetic performance.

BAEK JIN - He was really good and stable at the start which is why it was worse to see him fall, i think his nerves and his team’s mistakes really got to him and it broke him. His facial expressions were really good too.

YURI - His rap voice is so low and so different from his team mates that it made him stood out but imo i think from the start he already didn’t feel particularly confident, and it showed on his face and ultimately caused him to get flustered and make mistakes as well

LEE WOO JIN - I’m not sure about this but it felt like he was a vocalist? As in he felt new to rapping and the whole team vibe certainly didn’t help the situation if that was so. Tbh i think he needs more practice but he was really the most nervous even from the start but i wish him all the best

1ST SAY IT YES OR NO STAGE

https://youtu.be/uM07p0-GA-M 

MY FAVORITE STAGE OUT OF ALL THE STAGES!! This was just so fun. They were literally having fun on the stage and this was a stage where I absoulutely loved the killing parts and everyone had one! also all their lyrics are both fun, sad and powerful at the same time, i just love this team and want all of them to go through!

NAM DO HYUN - My pick since the start and I continue to love what he brings to the table, he actually took Cheetah’s advice seriously and he killed the stage especially the part where he says I’ll be your Oppa ji I was like wow that was good and on beat and on point

JO SEUNG YEON - He trained Jaehun and Seong yeon pretty darn well and he took care of his own part too and even though his own part was short it was IMPACTFUL like that line “naega” is too damn good, he’s both main vocal and main rapper and not a joke

JUNG JAE HUN - He’s trying hard too, I can see it but i loved how he just basically acted out his part about being nervous and the lyrics in his part are so honest that they’re kind of sad especially the part where he says “the only thing i’ve shown is my temple heart”

KIM SEONG YEON - Not sure if he wrote his rap or Seung Yeon did but it was nice and simple and effective and he had his own killing part at the “ pick pick pick” line. Kinda loved him as a rapper wanna see more of him as both vocalist and rapper.

CONTINUED NEXT POST