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#im posting nd going to sleep
cloudysarts · 3 months
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this show would be good if literally everything about it was different
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slowdesire · 4 days
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are you gonna MARRY, KISS, or KILL me? it’s just a game but really… i’m betting on ALL THREE… for us two
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todayisafridaynight · 7 months
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harvard a lame school i bet aoki never got woken up at 11PM because his roommates were blasting music cause everyone a square there
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annapoofle · 10 months
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Continuing my countdown from yesterday :]
10 days until Nimona movie
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izzy-b-hands · 2 months
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If ur waiting on a reply from me (and i know a couple of folks are rn) thank u for ur patience in waiting. I'm working on typing things up but today is just. idk how to put it but i keep winding up grumpy and my replies i feel are suffering for it. Pls know i do wanna chat and exchange ideas, I'm just trying to make sure the Grumpasaurus Rex side of my brain that's v loud today isn't mucking them up before i send them 🫂🫂❤️❤️
#text post#like it's genuinely nothing just bad takes online some shitty messages in my inbox on here and reddit and not sleeping well at all#attempted a nap i woke up from like tenish minutes ago and it was all a realistic nightmare#in which ct house was somehow connected to nd condo & i kept getting caught on one side or the other at a time#unable to touch or talk to anyone until i was fully on either 'side' for a good while#made the flow of time feel fucked up and i fully expected this to have been a longer nap considering how time felt in there lol#but yeah. I'm trying and im v grateful to y'all waiting for being patient with me. thank u & i promise ill have my shit together soon#(aka might take an edible and just. idek. bake maybe? my brain isn't happy doing anything rn but cookies are always good)#have a potential call with mum later i need to prep for#...worst case scenario i try to nap a bit more and hope i don't wind up stuck in that weird hallway from my dream again#worst bit was the nd cats and my mum and ct cats and Housemate on each side both trying to get me out but couldn't#really don't wanna feel as stuck as i did in this dream but hey!! maybe it's trying to tell me something lmao#not entirely sure what but that's nothing new for me lmao#normally wouldn't post like this for replies but everyone waiting follows me so i figure this reaches everyone easily enough#& hopefully is better/more useful than me going radio silent bc my brain is being a baby abt shit that means nothing lmao
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7roaches · 4 months
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turning off reblogs on posts is literally addictive
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traitorsinsalem · 2 years
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she dealt with asian family drama like no one else did and all the fanbase did was hate her
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gorgeouslypink · 9 months
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HIIII PINK!!! When I heard you were leaving I was so sad I even started crying and started to doubt myself on entering the void. I was like “how tf am I going to get into the void without pink???” I started procrastinating reading some of your post basically stalking ur page staying up til 4 in the morning (I was desperate 😭). I realized that I already read all of ur post, nd I just was surprised on how much time I wasted trying to get into the void. And I always dreamt abt putting a success story in your inbox. I already had all the knowledge i needed so what’s the point of more? I deleted tumblr and thought of anything that could help me get in the void. I did SATS while listening to my subliminal playlist, i daydreamed abt the void and my desires for fun, i affirmed for my void concept randomly throughout the day, feeling of the wish fulfilled, listened to delta waves when I was abt to sleep, and I meditated once a day for 10 mins. Meditation was optional but whateva 🤷‍♀️. I ONLY DID THAT FOR THREE FREAKING DAYS. And Im still mad at myself for wasting time procrastinating for 9 months. I was going to take a nap and I was in a drowsy state, so might as well affirm for the void right? I started saying affs like “I’m in the void”, etc etc. Once I started affirming, everything was just calm Yk? My body wanted to move but it was like it couldn’t cause the state I was in was calm asf. So I closed my eyes and just repeated the affs in my head over and over and over until I got this feeling like as if my body was floating, then I payed attention to it for a split second then ignored It after. I kept on affirming then I felt like I was being pulled then let go and it was as if I was falling. Everything got darker and quieter. So then I got scared and jumped because that scared me soo bad (I’m a easy person to scare 😔). After that, I felt like I was actually a master at the void, I took a nap again and I had the same feeling but when I felt like I fell I kept my calm. Then I couldn’t hear my fan which was louddd, I opened my eyes to total darkness, I was scared for two seconds and realized I was in the void!! Ngl I had a whole list set up with my desires and I was ready to affirm and goooo!!! But I realized how calm the void is and stayed there for what felt like 5 minutes. I did affirm I had all my desires and that I was able to wake up in the void under 5 seconds. When I woke up from the void it was 9 pm and I took a nap at 2!!! I woke up with all of my desires nd shi. (I would explain in more detail in how I got in and stuff like that but I was in a rush and didn’t want to make this too long 😀)
BUT THANK YOU SMM PINK, IM GOING TO MISS U SM. YOU HAVE BEEN A REALLY BIG HELP WITH MY VOID JOURNEY, I TRULY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING U HAVE DONE FOR THIS COMMUNITY, MAKE SURE TO ENJOY UR SELF 💗💗💖💖💖💗💕
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Hi love!!! Omgosh I'm so proud of you! This is so cute and you deserve this so much and I'm genuinely happy for you. 💗
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obey-me-disaster · 11 months
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Hi i was wonderinf if you could make a fic about ghe om charactess reactind to MC doing sh or sum causr im in teh moos to cry rna nd i cant dind ahy good angstfisc lmqo
/not forsce
A/N:Sorry for the long wait! I have decided to brake it into smaller fics for every character instead of one big fic. I will have to do separate posts for it most likely.
CW: self harm, self depricating thoughts, suicidal thoughts, starving as a self punishement/as a way to cause harm
Disclamier: This is inspired from personal experience, so I may not be able to capture the full depth of this topic or how it affects different people. I may rewrite parts of it in the future.
Lucifer x gn!MC
Mammon x gn!MC
Lucifer, Mammon x gn!MC that self harms
When the exchange program first begun MC's safety was regarded as something vital for Diavolo's plan. No one was expecting the way the human exchange student would become so beloved by so many people.
As time went on everyone was so captivated by MC that they failed to realize that they have put them on some sort of pedestal. Sure, the angel, sorcerer and the demons were observant of the way MC was acting but no one wanted to expect something bad was happening to them, especially when they were quick to reassure everyone that nothing was wrong with them.
There were times when the human would be withdrawn from everyone. Times where they looked like they have no energy left and were lost in their own world or times when they were quick to getting annoyed, wanting to be away from everyone. Excuses such as 'I am stressed because of exams' 'I have not been sleeping enough' 'Just one of those days' could only get them so far with beings older than their entire bloodline.
"I know there is something bothering them but every time I try to ask them, they always hit me with one of those lame excuses!" Huffing Mammon stops pacing around and sits on the couch.
"That's exactly why everyone gathered here today. MC is obviously hiding something from us and it has been going on for longer than it should." Placing down the tray full of snacks Simeon continued. "I would love to think we are just overthinking it and MC is fine, but it has become clear that's not the case."
Shifting uncomfortably in his seat Leviathan decided to join the conversation. "MC also stopped joining me for our gaming nights. They were always looking forward to our nights but now every time I ask them to join me, they just dismiss me.." the last part was barely above a whisper.
"Levi does make a point. MC's mood changes have become more frequent and their body language has also changed. It's like they're trying to hide their body from us." Satan tried to make heads of the whole situation. "We could rule out the attack from another demon. They don't smell of blood and their body doesn't seem to be affected by a wound."
While Satan was mumbling to himself, everyone was thinking of MC's behavior, anything that could give them a clue on what's wrong with them.
"If I stay and think about it, they are also refusing to eat as much as they used to, even when they are clearly hungry. I have left some snacks for them so they won't get hungry, but I don't know if MC ever ate them or not." Beel tried to recall all the times MC refused to eat, but just thinking about it made him lose all his appetite.
"Now that we're putting together all of these 'new' habits of MC makes it clear that there is something going on." Diavolo ran a hand through his hair as he sighed. "Solomon, you're the only other human in the whole exchange, maybe you have a better idea of what's happening to them..."
All eyes turned towards the sorcerer, waiting for a response that would help them understand the whole situation. "I actually may suspect something but none of you will like it.." Solomon waited to see if any of them would make a comment, but when that didn't happen he continued on with his explanation.
"As Satan said, their body language has changed and they are trying to cover their body more. The idea of an attack or a curse can be ruled since that would have been observed by now." Everyone nodded, everything he said up until that point was already established. "I am not gonna beat around the bush but I think they may be self harming in some kind of capacity. It's not to the point where it draws blood so we can rule out any kind of cutting. It still doesn't make the situation good but there is at least that..."
"Now what?! We can't let then continue, can we??" Mammon snapped at them out of frustration over the situation. "Going over to MC to confront them about the whole situation won't help them either." Lucifer said as a matter of fact. "For now we will act as if we don't know until we come up with a way to approach the subject."
Seeing as there was nothing else to add to the discussion everyone decided to end things there. Luke could distract MC out of the Purgatory Hall for so long after all.
Lucifer
After the group discussion he decided to watch over MC more closely. Lucifer would often invite them in his study room to talk about their day or if anything was bothering them and every time MC would try to retreat away from everyone, he would take them out on a walk or on dates.
This went on for a little under two weeks before he decided to finally have a talk with them. While MC seemed to be more relaxed than before it was clear that they were not going to open up with him any time soon, and he refused to sit by and let them hurt themself in any capacity.
"So, what did you want to talk about? I am not in trouble, am I?" MC was sitting next to him on the couch. Lucifer has called them a bit earlier into his room with the excuse of 'talking about some recent problems'.
"You are not in trouble, no." Taking a sip from his cup of demonus. "I am not about to waltz around the subject now that you're here." Setting the glass down he took one of their hands in his own and started to gently rub his thumb over their knuckles. "There is something bothering you and I don't want to hear any of your old excuses. Please, tell me the truth so I can help you." From the look the avatar of pride gave them, they knew there was no backing out of this discussion.
He could feel MC's whole body tense up at his question. They stared at him for a while, opening and closing their mouth every time they would try to come up with some sort of excuse only give up. Lucifer waited for them patiently to find their words. If anyone knows how hard it can be to let yourself be vulnerable is him, so he was not gonna rush them. He already approached the subject in a not so gentle manner, to demand more, at least for now would only push MC away.
Finally giving up on coming up with excuses or trying to find a way to make the situation seem less bad than it is, MC leaned their head against Lucifer's shoulder. "Was it that obvious? The way I've been acting.."
"Yes, it was quite obvious, everyone is worried about you" He didn't need to look at MC to know that they winced at the knowledge that everyone knew. "They won't swarm you with questions, I will make sure of that."
"Thank you, Lucifer, I really don't want to deal with all of that, not yet at least.." Despite being more relaxed they still squirmed in their place every so often.
"No need to thank me, we're here for you after all" Kissing the top of their head, both of them settled into a comfortable silence, mainly to give MC time to gather their thoughts.
"I...I guess for starters you want to know for how long I've been feeling like this." Lucifer merely gave them a nod. "Well...I guess not for long. At least since me coming to Devildom. You see, before coming here I didn't have the best self esteem and wasn't that satisfied with my life. When I got chosen for the exchange program, I didn't mind it that much, I saw it as an opportunity to turn over a new leaf."
MC leaned over, their head leaving Lucifer's shoulder, in an attempt to put some distance between themself and Lucifer "And it worked for a while, I met people that care about me a lot, I got better as a person and I was kept busy by the ongoing shit that happens around." Remembering all of the shenanigans they went through brought a smile to MC. "But it's not like my problems disappear. Sure I made progress, but worries that I had in the past came back, past problems transformed into new ones and little by little I got into bad past habits."
Letting out a shaky sigh they continued. "Little by little I got into self destructive habits, such as refusing to do things I would, hiding myself from other to even starving and doing things that would cause me some kind of pain."
Lucifer could only curse himself for not noticing how his lover felt sooner. He put his arms around MC and pull them close to him, making sure to rest their head on his chest as he lowered himself to lay on the couch. While they still couldn't look at him directly they at least didn't push him away. "How about you stay the night in my room? You can talk about what's bothering you in peace, no one will dare to just walk in my room."
Wrapping their hands around his waist, MC made themself comfortable on top of him. "I'm warning you, it might take a while before I fully open up." Chuckling at their words he tighten his hold on them. "Take your time, we have more than enough."
Mammon
Mammon has always been the one to look over others without being really noticed. When they fell from the Celestial Realm he was the one that looked over his brothers and reminded Lucifer that everyone followed him for a reason. He was the one that decided to look over a girl from the human world and help her financially until she is old enough to do it on her own. He was the one assigned to look over MC, to make sure they are safe and well and yet here he was. Pacing around his room, trying to think of a solution on how to approach them.
He couldn't help but be reminded of the whole attic incident, more exactly how MC hid their true reason on why they were making pacts with his brothers. He didn't know what hurt more, the fact that they couldn't trust him or the fact that MC is suffering and he can't do anything about it.
Frustrated he decided to go see them, he didn't exactly have a plan but he was damned if he wouldn't try something. Even if nothing could be done today he will make sure to at least make their day better.
Barging into their room Mammon tried to call out to them but stopped when he heard MC weakly groaning from beneath their bed sheets "Can you tone it down a bit? I've got a nasty headache."
Frowning, the demon made his way next to their bed. Even when he took a sit next to them, MC made no effort in turning around to face him. "What's gotten into you? Ya look all sick and frail" Mammon tried to put his hand on their forehead in order to check their temperature but they shied away from his touch.
Looking at the state of his human, any and all plans of taking them out to town fell apart. "MC, talk to me, what's wrong? And don't give me the 'I'm just sick' excuse, it won't work." Looking at MC, he tried to see if they would react in any way but they only shifted uncomfortably.
"It's nothing serious, I am just tired from catching up with all the homework from RAD, so I need a little bit of rest." MC tried to explain themself but it didn't fool Mammon one bit.
The last of his patience about asking MC about the truth finally disappeared after hearing their overused excused. Lying in bed next to them he put his arms around their waist. When MC made no move to try and get out of his hold, he pulled them closer to him. While they still faced away from him at least it didn't feel like there was such a great distance between the two of them.
"We both know that's a bullshit excuse.." Mammon's voice, while sounding unimpressed, it held no malice. Still, it didn't stop MC from tensing up in his arms.
"Come on, it's me Mammon, you're first man, you can tell me everything don't you? What's bothering you?" He mumbled while burying his face into their shoulder.
Guilt was starting to eat MC up after hearing Mammon's words. They could feel tears trying to come out so they opted to turn around and burry their face into Mammon's chest.
" You're right, I am sorry..." they said trying to hide the fact that they were on the verge of crying.
Relieved at seeing MC starting to open up he continued to press on the issue at hand. "It's ok, you've got me here, why don't ya start from telling me how you're feeling right now?"
The human took a few moments to come up with a way to explain their situation at the moment. "You see, I wasn't lying when I said I have a headache. It's just that, it's a result from me skipping meals for a while or so. In fact, my body feels so weak that I can barely move..." They internally winced at their explanation but they didn't have much time to dwell on it when Mammon sat up looking alarmed.
"What do you mean by that?! Why's that? Don't tell me you're trying one of Asmo's crazy diets?" Looking down on them, he tried to see if there is anything else he should take notice off, besides their nasty glare.
"Nothing of that sorts, don't worry." Turning on their back they stared up at the ceiling, looking right past Mammon. Being relieved at their words he decided to make himself comfortable in bed next to them.
"You see, it's an old habit of mine to skip meals. But when I get stressed or start to feel overwhelmed I start taking that habit to an extreme." Hearing them talk, Mammon is able to take note of how weak their voice sounded
"I lose all motivation to eat, and when I start feeling nauseous and the pain in my stomach starts to get worse, it pushes me to do it more and more until I am left lying helplessly in bed. The more pathetic I feel, the more reasons I have to skip meals and make this feeling of helplessness last longer." Sighing, some silent tears rolled down from the corner of their eyes.
Kicking himself mentally, Mammon decided to take a mental note to watch their eating habits more carefully in the future. "But what set you off? Was it the workload from RAD?" He asked them hoping to get a better understanding of what was bothering them.
"I honestly don't know...it's a mix of that and some other stuff, but I don't want to think about it now." MC's voice held some resentment as they explained. That was the cue for Mammon that he won't get any more information out of his human for that night.
Still, he couldn't leave them in that sorry state, not as long as he was there to take care of them. "I am going to make you one of my famous instant noodles just for you, so ya better be thankful!"
Just as he was about to leave the room he turned one last time towards them. "Afterwards be prepared to go on a ride with me, I will take you to some places in here Devildom you've never seen before."
MC merely gave him a nod but that was more than enough confirmation for him as he went to prepare everything he needed.
A/N: So, this is getting way too long so I will stop it here for now. I will come back to update it in the future for the rest of the characters, but I don't want it to sit in my drafts any longer.
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chososdiscordkitten · 14 days
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life update:
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im still in a rut, recently there's been a lot of construction in mai house so I haven't been getting that much sleep :( added with the horrid smokers/tuburculosis cough I had, and still having to go to work, I have been completely drained of my energy, inspiration, and money.
it has been a week since Ive last posted, and I have no fucking clue when ill post again (im so so so sorry)
it also doesn't help that people have been very mean in my inbox, and I put my life on hold to maintain this account- only to not see much progress in growth (im such an attention whore, I know) and to get back such negative marks on my writing.
by no means am I saying I am leaving this account- no. I just need a lil sabbatical where I have the opportunity to go outside on my days off, and not stay home for the sheer reason of, "I have to write." because I felt guilty for spending my free time not writing.
and I think that's why I have been so drained- ive spent allll my weekends since November saying, "no I cant go out today- I have to finish this piece before tommorrow."
people have taken advantage of my eagerness to please- being so demanding of free content and not giving me feedback on it- why spend days in my inbox asking for a req and when I finally post it- not even a reblog or a comment? whatever.
this has turned into a rant I didn't mean for it to, SORRRRYYY
anyway. I am grateful for the people who are active in my inbox and my comments, I see y'all and I love y'all for making me feel like my writing isnt some lower quality version of another author on here.
because, yes ive been told that, that I am a less talented version of a popular author on here.
and me thinks, from how much effort ive put into my fics, time, sleep, ignoring my physical needs just because I didn't wanna disappoint strangers on the internet, isnt worth it if im just gonna be compared to others on here.
I chose this- I know I did. and I will continue to choose it. I love the lil community ive built with people who I fucking appreciate sooooo very much for how much they've offered to me.
I will be back, I promise I will. my brain just hasn't been braining recently.
ive said it before- I will never fully leave this acc because I love it sooooo much, so I wont. but just for a lil bit.
if u wanna keep interacting w/ me, I have a twt where I spam shit, here it is :D
if you've read this far- KISS ME. ty for supporting me nd reading my 'lesser' writing lmaoooo
from a sad cowboy who misses choso,
Ten.
(p.s) I hate my new shower head :(
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buckys-little-belle · 2 years
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little rae here 💌 if it okay can i talk to u & vent a lil?
feelin small, got a bit triggered by parents arguing. loud noises wit no sleep & my brain is feeling staticy nd fuzzy, rlly hard to think rn if that makes sense? wish i had stevie & eds wit me :( took a shower tho & now im gon cuddle wit my stuffed duck mr waddles & read some of ur stuff. thank u for makin me feel safe, love u belle i sendin hugs
Duckie
Steddie x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns Used)
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Warnings -
Notes - Sometimes my brain feels all fuzzy so I definitely understand how you feel. Though I can’t actually send Steve and Eddie your way, in a literal sense, I can write them, so this is for you bub <3
SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW.
- - - - - -
“Duckie?” Steve questioned, holding up two boxes, one filled with regular waffles, the other blueberry. Y/n’s head snapped towards him, their mind far away as he spoke. “Which ones do you want?” Steve asked, the question now being asked for the third time, though Y/n seemed to be listening at least a bit this time.
“I dunno.” They mumbled, a sigh punctuating their words. “I can’ fink.” They confessed, their eyes filled ever so slightly with tears, guilt building in their chest at their inability to give an answer.
“That’s okay Duckie.” Steve smiled knowingly, he knew Y/n sometimes got ‘far out’, as Eddie would say, their thoughts slower and mind distant. Instead of asking the question again he placed one of each waffle into the toaster.
- - - - - -
Steve hand’t told Eddie about Y/n’s mindset, just sending them to him after breakfast to wake him up and get dressed. “What do you want to wear?” Eddie asked Y/n, rubbing sleep out of his eyes as he strode over to the dresser, opening the drawer filled with Y/n’s clothes. “A big shirt? Sleeves? No sleeves?” He began rattling off the options.
“I don’ know Ed’s.” Y/n frowned, sitting on the end of the bed, their hands in their lap as their head hung low, the carpet the centre of their attention.
“Well what colour do you want?” He asked instead, thinking that might be an easier question to ponder.
Instead of yell out their favourite colour like usual Y/n let out a sob. “I don’ wanna pick Ed’s.” The cried, tears falling from their cheeks, dripping onto the floor.
“What’s going on?” Steve asked, entering the room, a coffee in hand as he assessed the situation.
“‘m head feels fuzzy, I don’ know what shirt I wanna wear Stevie, I don’ know what waffles I wanna have, I jus’ don’ know!” They cried.
“Hey, hey.” Eddie cooed, kneeling down in front of Y/n, his head blocking their view of the boring carpet, Steve sitting down beside Y/n, his hand soothingly on their back, his mug long disregarded. “That’s okay, you don’t have to decide anything okay.” Eddie smiled, rubbing up and down their arm.
“We don‘ t have any plans today Duckie, we can stay in our Pjs and watch some movies, nice and simple, okay?” Steve offered, knowing how hard it can be for Y/n when in this headspace, their mind distant and the day confusing. “Come on, let’s brunch your teeth, and find Mr. Waddles, hm?” Steve stood up, grabbing his mug and gesturing to the bathroom.
“I’ll set the couch up for us.” Eddie smiled, leaping in action, gathering pillows and blankets for the group, the couch soon a miss mash of fuzzy blankets and comfy pillows.
- - - - - -
The day went by quickly, the three of hem sprawled out over the living room, more and more stuffies being added in after every movie, Eddie wanting Y/n to be as comfy as possible. “Here.” Eddie whispered, passing Y/n their sippy cup, and Steve a new mug filled with coffee. “It’s fruit punch.” He warned, making sure they knew what was in it, not wanting them to be surprised.
“Tanks.” Y/n murmured, gripping their stuffie closer, and snuggling back into Steve, Eddie picking up their legs to lay in his lap, blankets quickly thrown over them all to keep warm.
Sure the days plans had changed, but Y/n needed their boys, and their boys were happy to comply, willing to make the hard decisions for the day in exchange for some warm cuddles and happy laughs.
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ranmaruliker · 10 months
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everytime i see some woman in her early twenties post a tiktok with that aging filter with some caption saying something along the lines of "oh i look so fucking ugly this filter makes me upset, i cant belive this is what im gonna look like, im gonna do everything in my power to make sure i dont grow up to be this fucking disgusting and gross" i get so angry and so so fucking upset. this whole trend right now of anti aging is just so fucking heartbreaking as a girl. so many women have been conditioned to think that ageing is the worst thing a girl can do and they need to buy all these lotions and use a special straw and . fucking never smile or laugh or squint or sleep in a comfortable position because hey, did you know that sleeping on your side can make your face go ever so slightly lopsided over time, and you wouldn't want that to make you ugly, would you?
and i genuinely feel so sad for these woman who are genuinely depressed at the idea that they might one day, shock and horror, AGE? because people have taught them that the only value they have is being pretty and young and flawless and beautiful because thats the only thing that matters as a woman and being old and wrinky isnt pretty, didnt you know? but at the same time it is so fucking rage inducing to see people fully succumb to this mindset and post openly about how much they hate the idea of being old and ugly and posting the things that theyre doing to desperately try and avoid this unavoidable fate because we are actively seeing another generation of young girls, preteens, get groomed into believing this mindset that is so unhealthy nd so so harmful.
do u know how fucking sad it is to see videos of 14 year old girls post their 15 step skincare routine featuring products that are so chemically harsh that theyve been following since they were 12.
this is what its like being a little girl nowadays. that is so fucking depressing
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leonsmamacita · 6 months
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"Drunk on Lust"
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a/n: hello! so this is my first ever fic written/posted in public, mostly bc im shy nd i get intimidated a bunch jsjsjjs but! that changes today! anyways i dont wanna make this too long, so tldr; just lmk if i did good nd if there is any suggestions u wanna give, feel free to! idk how tumblr rlly works so sorry if tags/cw is off
word count: 2.1k (yes i do hate myself)
disclaimer: just bc i write it dont mean i condone these actions irl! this is purely for entertainment purposes ONLY; practice safe sex + drink responsibly <3
MDNI; +18 ONLY
cw: a tad of angst, alcohol abuse ( reader is forced to consume alcohol ), mentions of vomit, heavy degrading, mention of breeding, overstimulation, edging, p in v, no comfort/no aftercare, manipulation, mentions of guilt-tripping, BDSM ( temperature play, spanking, sadism ), mentions of lactation, he comes inside, empty sex ( fwb ), no use of y/n; not proof read!
song below is the main inspo for this fic if u are interested to give a listen to!
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"Great, just what I fucking needed."
Waking up with a splitting headache along with a burning migraine from a hangover was a feeling Leon found himself all too familiar with as of late; breath reeks of cheap booze and remnants of whatever he had for dinner. In a daze, he sat up and found himself in more pain than usual. Although only in his prime (around the 30's), his body feels as though it had gone through decades.
Phone now in hand, he checks his inbox and sees an unread message sent by the one person who can take away not only the physical pain, but the emotional kind as well— his own personal carrier for his emotional baggage. A snort leaves his nose as he reads the message; you always aimed to please, telling yourself constantly that you are only doing this to help a friend out. A "friend", how cute. So pretty, so young, and yet so naive.
On his way to your place, he spaces out for a moment or two. He would always find himself in this suffocating mog of black, a place his fucked up brain traps him in against his will. A never ending spiral that he keeps getting swept up in— no matter how many times he tries to regain control, it always ends up out of his hands due to the cruel will of fate. That was, until he met you.
As corny as it was, you were the light at the end of this dark tunnel he trapped himself in. Unhealthy habits; he would do them all, and no one would bat an eye. You were the only one who truly cared, who truly worried— he could not let you go. He looses himself to you each and every time, much more than he does to alcohol. When he admitted this to you, you were more than willing to offer yourself to him in any way he sees fit. It doesn't matter if he was mildly intoxicated or black out drunk, you would always welcome him in with open arms. And open legs.
"Hey, you."
Your voice snapped him out of his daydream. How did he not manage to crash on his way here? Perhaps it was his body usually going on autopilot during those moments. His mind was already wired into what turns to take, what lane to switch to on the highway, and what apartment complex building you reside at. As long as it leads to you.
Not wanting to waste another second, his lips crashed into yours. You already smelled the alcohol, sweat and vomit on him, it was only more intense as you tasted it on your tongue. No matter, you agreed to this anyways. You want this as much as he does— he conditioned you to do so. Fumbling with the leather of his jacket, he slips it off and tosses it to the side, doing the same with your sleep-shirt. Your nipples stiffen at the draft of cold air fanned against your areolas, moaning at how sensitive they grew out to be after Leon forced you to get those piercings.
His gaze falls on the ends of the silver bars, tempted to suck them harshly enough you were sure enough to lactate— even though you couldn't. But, he has to be patient, you had only gotten them three months ago. No worries, he will have his way with your tits soon enough. His rough thumb pads gently trace down the side of your hips to your love handles, holding onto them as he hoists you up into his arms. Sitting you down on the kitchen counter, he nips at your neck as he desperately tugged down your pajama shorts along with your undergarments.
Without hesitation, he opens his flyer to take out his painfully hard cock— the tip crying of pre as he taps it against your clit, sending a jolt of raw pleasure to shoot straight to your core and all throughout your lower abdomen. With his free hand, he takes out his hip flask and looks at you with that familiar glint of lust in his eyes.
"Open up."
A beat too slow passes; before you could register what he is planning to do, he scissors you open with his fingers and shoves the opening of the flask past your lips, forcing you to take him and to drink whatever cheap booze was inside the flask all at once. It was overwhelming, too much, and yet it was creating the perfect storm between you two— enough to make both of you moan at the sensation.
The cold counter meets the flesh of ass, sticking to it just slightly as your slick runs down your thighs and around the girth of his fat, long fingers. Dragging you onto him, using you as if you were a living sex doll; no regards for your pleasure whatsoever. Feeling a bit dazed, possibly from the alcohol he forced you to take, you whimper. It only intensifies at the fat of his calloused fingers kissing the opening of your g-spot, causing that delicious burning sensation you can't get enough of— you were sure you were going to be aching by the time he is done with you, and he is just getting started. Feeling your walls flutter around him, he quickly pulls out, leaving you whining as you clench around nothing.
He coos at you softly, making those empty promises of making you cum— he never lives up to it however. It's not like he can't, he could. But, he likes to be an asshole and rip away the pleasure from you, costing you an explosive orgasm that leaves you crying as the feeling quickly coils back painfully into your core; denying you pleasure is an all-time favorite for Leon, even if he ends up blue-balling himself as well. Makes coming inside you all worth it.
Grabbing the bottle of liquor you took a shot of earlier to hype yourself up before Leon came over, he smirked darkly at you, drinking in every detail of your pathetic self trembling at the denied pleasure. An eerie silence falls between them, before it was interrupted with a loud gasp falling from your lips and a low hum leaving Leon's.
"What, can't handle it? C'mon, you're a big girl," he teased, disregarding your pleas and the crescent-shaped cuts you leave on his biceps as you clawed away at him, trying to get him to pull the cold glass bottle away from your clit. Rubbing the icy glass against your clit some more, he holds the edge of it and pushes the hood that protects it back, exposing your clit some more. "So pretty; you're enjoying this, aren't you?"
Leon then rubs the length of the bottle against your exposed clit, making you writhe against him, pressing your body further back against the cold counter. Either way, you were trapped between his heavy body and the counter, forced to give into the aching pleasure being given to you. You just have to take it.
Finally, he takes the bottle away from your heat, making you sigh in relief— and yet, you were again slightly denied an impending orgasm. Were you seriously going to cum from that? God, Leon was ruining you. Before you could dive deeper into the relief, your lips meet in an open mouth kiss, and you could taste the booze he forces into your mouth. Not wanting to choke, you are forced to swallow the alcohol quickly, already feeling lightheaded. You weren't drunk, not yet at least, but you were at least woozy enough for Leon to hoist you over his shoulder and take you to your bedroom.
You aren't sure when he started rutting against your crying pussy with his fat tip, but nonetheless the sensation makes you arch your back, bringing your chest up against his broad pecs. A snort leaves his mouth at your reaction, making you whine at how mean he is being to you.
"Actin' like a bitch in heat," he blows his hot breath against your ear lobe, leaning in and licking the shell of your ear, making you mewl. "Gonna have to fuck you s'good, it'll make you drunk on my fat dick instead." With that, he splits you open and completely bottoms out deep inside you. Fuck, fuck, fuck, too much. Your mouth agape, that dumbfounded look on your face— it only pushed him to snap his hips against yours, balls slapping against your cheeks, making obscure and downright pornographic sounds echo around the room.
Switching positions, he maintains himself lodged inside you as he flips you on your stomach, putting you in a prone-bone position. Wrapping his arm around your neck, he cuts off your airway just right. The mixture of alcohol and the lack of oxygen makes your head spin, making you have this fucked-out look on your face as Leon continues to ravage your pussy from behind. Low grunts and growls are heard from him; he was close, and you were too.
"Yeah? You like that? Drunk on my booze and on my cock," he laughs at you, mocking you as you can only let out a sinful symphony of moans. "Such a slut, letting me fuck you into your own mattress, fuck," he keeps choking you out, squeezing your neck as your cheek meets his bicep, having no choice but to bite down on the meat of his muscle in order to muffle your moans. "What's the matter? Don't want your neighbors to hear you getting slut out? Letting the perverted alcoholic have his way with you? Is that it?"
His words contained malice and lust, with no respect for you whatsoever. As much as you hated him for talking down on you this way, the way he is battering your insides and plunging deep inside your guts has your body saying otherwise. A sour feeling creeps up on your stomach— either it was the urge to throw up since you were quite literally drunk and being dragged back and forth on some dick, or it was the urge to let go and cum. Either or, it was making you even more dizzy, becoming too much to handle.
"Aw, am I being too mean to you, sweetheart?" Leon said in his snarky, condescending tone, laughing at you as tears streamed down your face, proving this to be too much even for you. And yet, despite this, he continued to fuck you stupid. "Hold on just a lil longer, nngh, fuck, take it," A loud smack is heard as his handprint marked the fat of your ass, and more is heard as he continues to spank and fuck you at a ruthless and unforgiving pace. "Oh fuck, if you keep sucking me in like that, m'gonna have to plug this pretty pussy up full of my cum and give you a baby."
Skin slapping against skin, slick mixing with pre, it all became too much. Letting out one last cry, you come so hard you could've sworn you could see stars as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Leon only laughs at this, slightly wincing at the grip your walls have on him. This doesn't deter him however, as he continues to thrust into you much deeper, balls slapping against your pussy lips as he grinds his hips flush against your ass. Clit chaffing against the bedsheets, he overstimulates you over the edge, causing you to hiccup in between sobs.
Hearing you sob was what pushed him to the peak of his climax; what an asshole, getting off of the idea of making a sweet soul like you who only wanted to help a piece of shit like him cry. His thick and heavy cum floods your womb, holding your hips in a bruising grip as the last ropes of his load spurts inside you, finishing with a guttural moan. Leaving his softening dick inside you, he lightly taps the red and hot flesh of your lower back. "Still with me?"
"Jesus, my head.."
You wake up the next day, hungover and sore as shit. You feel as though you got ran over by a tow truck carrying trucks. Lifting the blanket off of your body, you notice the small puddle of slick and cum on your bed sheets, letting out a scoff of annoyance.
Lugging yourself out of bed, you take a quick shower to freshen up and to get started with your day— even though it was nearly three at the afternoon. Your phone in hand, you see a new message in your inbox. It was from Leon.
Leon [10:52 AM]: "You up yet?"
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moodywyrm · 11 months
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sighs dreamily,, sevika with a short chubby gf. im rlly self serving here but when is it my turn???
ND SHES SO POSSESSIVE i’m going to combust. like she would be all for you showing off your curves but if anyone even looks at you they’re gone. nd she keeps you on her lap at the last drop, one hand squishing your thighs while she holds her cards in the other bc she just loves having her own personal stress ball,,
looooord and imagine being away for work for the day, coming to visit her at the last drop,, walking in wearing a cute miniskirt and one of her sweaters bc its huge and comfy (have you SEEN her muscles there’s no way her non-work clothes wouldn’t be baggy). and she sees you, she immediately gets up, walks over, and wraps a protective arm round your waist and death glaring anyone who was just glancing your way. sitting you on one of her thighs with her goddamn manspread, kissing your neck as she plays god i need to sit down
ohhhhhh my god. I've been thinking about sevika so much lately, especially bc @sevikasimp has been posting the bartender sevika content that is making me go ahhhHHHHHHHHHHH.
so in the wise words of Emi: Sevika Loves Thick Women. And if your short?? Baby she's in love. She absolutely teases you for being shorter than her, but she loves it. And she is possessive!! Because she knows your gorgeous and she knows Zaun can be scary!! And here you are, her sweet girl, fully capable of holding your own but she wants to protect you!
Thinking soooo much about sitting on her lap while she's playing cards in The Last Drop. You're wearing a miniskirt that she bought you, a short black thing with a laced-up slit + one of her sweaters that she only ever wears inside your apartment + some chunky boots bc Zaun requires the chunky boots. And you stomp stomp stomp into The Last Drop, bee-lining for Sevika at her table in front of the bar.
She saw you the second you walked in, but she has a reputation to maintain so she can't get all mushy and sappy like she always does when she sees you </3. That doesn't mean she won't be touchy! She won't go all mushy, Rottweiler gf, but she will let you cling to her and show her affection if you want to. Because the second you walk up to her, she is hauling you onto her lap and placing on harsh smack on your thigh before groping and soothing the flesh. The feel of you on her lap, the softness of your ass and thighs on her muscled legs, is borderline euphoric.
Sevika keeps you there, propped up on her lap, as she plays and she tries soooo hard not to melt at the way you cuddle into her. You're all snuggled into her neck, one of her arms a sturdy weight around your waist, and you're on the verge of sleep. And who can blame you!! Because she's also kneading at the fat of your tummy, your thigh, wherever her hand can reach without having to fully detach from your waist. And every now and then she whispers lil complements to you and places little kisses on the top of your head. Plus!! I know she takes care to smell good for you. She uses a really suave unisex perfume that smells kinda like the energy of a speak easy? A little smoky? A little boozy sweet? A little masculine, cologne type scent? Do you know what I mean? She smells fucking good is what I'm saying! And She can tell you're completely at ease with her, and she's on cloud nine: winning at cards with a pretty girl on her lap, all for her <3
Anyone who even tries to bother her or talk shit about the way you're clinging to her gets the worst mean mug of their life and, once you're awake enough to go get a drink on your own, gets the shit kicked out of them in the alley next to The Last Drop <3 no one makes her girl feel bad <3 ever <3
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swemory · 3 months
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Messy CoD: Ghost's headcannons ::
on the topic of CoD charachters as animals, Merrick strikes me as a bear. dunno ENTIRELY why. i saw this other post montttthhhssss back(more like a year ago) of someone headcannoning that Merrick kind of instinctively starts watching out for the Walker brother's/doting on them more after Elias' death and i REALLY resonate with that.
he takes care of his cubs :) definitely gets protective of the two brothers after his best friends death. (also headcannon that Elias and Merrick were closer buds than we got to see. those two definitely drink beer together.) Merrick seems like the kind of guy to have never seen himself as a father figure, its just an instinctive move after Elias dies since the two boys are still pretty young adults. (dunno if the person said all this in their posts, i have zero way of finding them again 😭😭)
(i was getting stuffed animals from build a bear nd making them themed as CoD charachters and i have a bear one as Merrick because of this[lmk if you want a bear!Merrick reveal because i also have doodles of him with bear ears])
Merrick, Merrick, Merrick..
honestly dont really know what to say about this man. i feel like he's extremely un-tech savvy unless its military technology. definitely does that dad squint with his eyes while reading something/trying to figure out how tf a phone works.
OHHH and on the topic of being horridly bad with tech and internet shi, if Logan and Hesh were to ever show Merrick tiktok for any reason, Merrick would probably find himself an addict of the app and incidentally pick up a shit ton of Gen Z humor but have zero idea what ANY of it means.
catch him throwing around old 2019 jokes or being one of those awkward father's who try to relate to the younger demographic by using outdated slang. thats IF he has the confidence to use any of the humor. if anything, i feel like he'd be awfully self conscious about doing so due to his lack of knowledge on it all.
no idea where im going with these headcannons. it is 12am and i am doing my workout routine as i wrote this while sleep deprived. dw im going strong.
but on the topic of HEADCANNONS,,,
Keegan, i feel like, leaned alot on Elias (probably without realizing it). i just see a kinship between Keegan, Elias and Merrick. Keegan seems to be by Merrick's side ALOT and i feel like HE feels he belongs there. not reliant just.. connected. soul brothers, really.
and if it wasnt Logan and Hesh who were fucked up over Elias' death, it was Keegan and Merrick. Merrick lost a bestfriend, Keegan lost a friend maybe even a father/uncle figure.
mostly Merrick gives me uncle vibes, though. Elias is a father figure, someone to lean on / someone to really show you how to do something and help you through hard times with insanely good advice. and Merrick's just the awkward, un-tech savvy uncle. i refuse to elaborate any further.
my personal headcannon for Logan is that hes semi-mute. i dont, personally, headcannon him as someone with full mutism but i do feel like he doesnt speak 90% of the time and shocks everyone whenever he does speak.
Keegan going about his day, saying a brief good morning to Logan and the Walker boy saying a quiet ''morning'' back to the man. has Keegan freeze on the spot, taking a full minute before looking up at Logan. takes a glance at Hesh and the brother merely shrugs, used to Logan's rare speaking.
out of everyone, Logan mostly speaks to Hesh. whenever Logan does speak, i feel like its aimed, USUALLY, at Hesh and nobody else in the room. keeps ot brief but sometimes has an actual back and forth while Merrick and Keegan are just reeling.
Merrick, wanting to help understand Logan better and show he cares more after Elias' death, put time aside to learn sign language for Logan's 'no talk days'. definitely mixes up a few signs and still has alot to learn but it surprises Logan and the man feels heard. definitely better than Logan having to rely on Hesh fully to communicate what Logan's trying to say / Logan having to fumble and point out different things and use unconventional means to try and get something across.
no hcs for Hesh rn..i THINK. actually i think i do have some but i cant remember and am tired. i spent likr an hour writing this yw im so eepy
gonna make a post strictly for Elias hc's because i have ALOT. (can you tell i have daddy issues)
A/N:: if anyone else has done these hcs tell me, im losing my mind over if ive actually seen anyone else have the same thoughts as me or not.
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gluesoda · 11 months
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having so many Thoughts&Feelings about big buff abby anderson and her loser gf :-(((
playing games and having abby leaning over your shoulder on her phone nd looking over to see what ur doing. spending time in loser gf's room and asking abt the posters hanging up nd it's all just like radiohead and cod posters :-(( her paying for gf's nitro UGH. gone. gf making a house for her and abby on her minecraft server n abby buying new games n shit. staying up late while abby goes to sleep bc she's getting up early to go to the gym n gf is still on her pc :-((( groaning at it bc she's getting mad at her game (fuck u overwatch2) SODA RUNS AS GF'S SOCIAL INTERACTION FOR THE DAY im collapsing rn. & this is so niche but so is this entire post but like making abby get cookie run so she can join gf's guild??!!? HELP??? telling abby the Lore to all the games and tv shows and movies (hannibal lore for abby) when she has ppl over playing mario party, jack box, all of it and she has no clue how to even hook up the switch to the tv!!! so gf does it but in return gets being abby's passenger princess all the time!!! gf gets the aux and plays only like the smiths or other loser shit
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