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#im really dramatic could you tell
jdsmineralwater · 2 years
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i have been abandoned (sent to school) by those who i held closest to me (my friends who dont take business aka all of them) and left as a sacrafice to the war (i have a business test in ten minutes) i dont know if ill survive (i have never dropped below a higher merit in this class)
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coreaflame · 9 months
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so ssorry to anyone i promised art to . my msm hyperfixation has unfortunately ended , which took a toll on my motivation to draw . i still really like the game , but it just does not make me as happy as it used to
above is an artistic representation of what ive been doing for the past month or so . resting . and i will continue to rest for a bit more .sorry
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dreamsy990 · 1 month
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my laptops like super fucking dead and its gonna be a couple days before i can get a new one so uh. have a ghost roxas au doodle from procreate instead. returning to my roots i suppose. do not ask me to explain the story context for this or whats going on because i will not explain ok. you can figure it out yourself <-( theres absolutely not enough information for you to figure it out for yourself )
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reel-fear · 6 months
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Honestly, every single time the whole 'poppy playtime is a bendy rip-off' stuff ever shows up I find it all extremely unconvincing and silly.
For one thing, rip-off usually is meant to imply that it's a cheap lazy copy of a better more polished thing, and uh. Sorry but even from chapter 1? Poppy Playtime is a better game than Bendy, it has a simple but understandable story, the game manages to be thrilling, creepy, and very intense at times... I mean that Huggy chase in the vents ALONE puts it way above Batim for me.
I mean BATDR had the most slow stupid chase I've ever seen [and every other encounter with the ink demon is text telling u he's there and then a timer goes down and u get jumpscared] and batim's chases were either silly or just not nearly as theatric or terrifying as that.
When making the vent sequence I mean not only is it absolutely horrifying to realize how fast Huggy is in there but also it's so theatric and cool? The fact that you round a corner after thinking you escaped only to see a terrifying animation of that thing crawling toward you is awesome! I wish Bendy had stuff like that!
And all the stuff it shares with Bendy are generic things Bendy ripped from other horror games/media anyways. I'm not saying Poppy Playtime isn't inspired by Bendy I for sure think it is but Bendy is such a generic story that somehow fails to do tropes 100 other horror games have done any comparison only makes Poppy Playtime look better.
"It has employees being sacrificed for their company" That is not a concept Bendy invented, literally look at any of the sci-fi horror series Bendy is very inspired by. This is literally a twist in the original Alien.
"It has a scary woman forcing you to do tasks for her" Once again, not a concept Bendy invented, a scary mysterious person forcing you to do fetch-quests is a concept found in tons of horror media. And at least Poppy Playtime gave you a chase with her and let you defeat her, look at poor malice. She's barely on screen for more than 10 minutes before she gets stabbed.
"It has a cult worshipping the monster" This is something tons of horror games and media have done too. I mean In The Tall Grass has a guy who worships a giant magical rock in the middle of a grass maze, Bioshock [which Bendy has only been taking more and more direct inspiration from while failing to grab any of the compelling parts] also had a lot of themes of religion and cult-ish behavior, almost every horror media franchise has at one point done a cult thing.
Bendy couldn't even come up with a reason Sammy worships the ink demon, the best motivation we've ever gotten is just that 'he's crazzyyyy the ink made him insaneeee'. Who is the cheap rip-off here?
At least Poppy Playtime gave their cultist a motive for worshipping the monster + a proper boss fight that feels intense and looks awesome! Bendy didn't even let you kill Malice [she got stabbed in front of you and then just collapsed on the floor how thrilling] meanwhile you get to kill three of the villains in Poppy Playtime and the gameplay and action in those scenes have only gotten better as the game went on.
I mean Sammy walks into a room and goes "AAA SCARY I'M BEING MURDERED" then later shows up and for NO REASON sees a normal human man and assumes it's the ink demon before once again someone else kills him for you. In Poppy Playtime you defeat Catnap as he floods the world with this horrible nightmare-inducing gas that intensifies the color palette and his design. Fight off versions of him that are illusions that you need your flare gun for, then watch in a wonderful animation as he mistakes the monster for his savior before getting killed by it, in a brutal way I might add, which game are we accusing of being cheap, lazy garbage again?
I just find this argument to be people who Really Really need to find a reason to hate Poppy Playtime which I think is silly. The devs being weird, shady people is already enough reason to dislike the game, you don't need to invent reasons why secretly every part of the game is malicious or bad. But esp when I see Bendy fans saying they don't support Poppy Playtime or dislike it bc of its devs or even saying its cringe ummmm.
I have bad news about the fact Bendy's devs are worse and it took not one, but TWO over an hour long videos to cover it all. Plus the Bendy games are just the worse games in every aspect, if I could sell my batim copy for a copy of Poppy Playtime I wouldn't hesitate at all.
Saying this as a bendy fan, we have no right to be super judgy towards Poppy Playtime. If Poppy Playtime is embarrassing cringe, Bendy is too and is way more embarrassing of an interest. We shouldn't spread misinformation just because we all want to hate Poppy Playtime, you can dislike Poppy Playtime without making up a bunch of nonsense to justify it.
Honestly seeing people just blatantly be unfairly mean to Poppy Playtime only makes its critics look worse and makes it hard to take any backlash to the games seriously. Because surprise surprise if you spread misinformation to make a point people will quickly stop listening to Anything you have to say bc they won't trust you're telling the truth anymore.
#feel free to reblog but Im not gonna tag this its way too rambley at least for my taste to go in the main tags#ramblez#also man can I say I didnt want to make this post super long but theres so many other points I could make in poppys favor#the fact we got to see the hour of joy and it was terrifying we dont even know if joey actually killed anyone anymore#the gameplay itself is more diverse and fun then batim which is a walking simulator that pretends to have fighting n stealth mechanics#at least Poppy n Missys friendship gives u a reason to care for missys safety before shes put in danger#Missy can actually express unlike Boris who sits there looking cute with no proper expressions until he gets yoinked and ur supposed to car#bc he was uh adorable? And therefore you spend an entire chapter tryna get him and get an extremely bad boss fight in return-#also soundtrack wise I like poppys tracks more theyre unique and fun and you can tell which part of the game they come from#bendy has so many dramatic reveal stingers and tracks that are really hard to tell which part of the game they come from#bertrums boss fight has my favorite theme bc its so specifically crafted for him and unique and meanwhile Norman has one of the worst imo#a lot of Bendys soundtrack if I played it for you right now it would be hard to guess where its from bc it all kinda sounds the same#the reveal music for the machine for bendy land for heavenly toys for alices domain all sound the same x_x#its just so frustrating but yeah my point is can we all stop making up new reasons to shit on poppy playtime its just kinda dumb#it feels less like actual criticism and at this point just feels like elaborate justification for cringe culture which I hate#okay thats it bye sorry this is 10 pages long-
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hella1975 · 1 year
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my mum: you've been doing really good lately. every part of your life is really stable and you seem genuinely happy, it's great to see :)
me, who's felt like ive been going actually crazy bananas insane for months now: yeah haha
#sometimes i forget that 'being in total control of my emotions at all times' isn't just my cringe lore & is actually something im good at#like wdym my MUM said this. girl im experiencing horrors over here!#i got really offended by it? ilke i just smiled at her and agreed but inside i was like HELLOOOOO CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEE#i just genuinely feel like i am so detached from myself and im entirely manipulative and i micromanage every facet of my personality#and change it day-to-day person-to-person and not in the Normal Human Way but in a crazy insane I Am Manipulating People Way#& it's a CONSCIOUS thing & like. idk who the real me is idk if there is a real me idk if id like her if i saw her idk if im a good person#but i look like im doing fine. i seem really stable and happy atm according to the person who knows me better than anyone#like that's the extent of my control on myself. even my mum cant tell. HUH#idk i feel like im being dramatic bc last week and this week ive definitely been feeling a lot better#and like maybe i was just having some sort of months-long episode but that doesnt negate the fact that while i was IN it no one could tell#not even the closest people to me that see me every day in the same house where im most vulnerable could tell#that's like. worrying surely. maybe. i think. whatever im just saying shit at this point#i always do this tho i go 'i fundamentally base my self-worth on how little i share vulnerability with people#and it's been a constant part of my personality since childhood that i dont talk about my feelings' and then i get SO pissed off#when people dont realise im going through shit. like girl what did you THINK was gonna happen. look inwards#hella goes home
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nosygay · 2 months
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in a disenchanting turn of events my father's cancer arc has inspired empathy in my sister so once again im just a heartless cunt. "I can't hate him like that anymore"? skill issue if ive ever seen one
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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hmm i like actually wanna kms
#big oof 🥴#if i try to talk im dramatic and emotional and only met with judgement ....#if i try to push it all down and pretend everythings fine i feel like im slowly dying#if i try to ask for help ppl only slap my hand away and dismiss me#if i complain im a negative pos who everyone hates#if i stfu and dont talk i feel miserable and like i have this big lump in my throat and i cant breathe#im never right or ok or valid or anything. im always wrong.....#im sad and lonely bc all i want is for someone to really truly love me and hold me#but truth is nobody cares that much if i would actually kms#but then im pathetic and whiny for crying in pain since i feel so alone and worthless#like honestlyyyy u can never win in life and esp if you're mentally ill and disordered and traumatized#and also just extremely sensitive even if u could choose u would choose to feel nothing#but ppl always complain no matter what i do :// im always doing smth wrong smth bad#like i didnt ask for everything that happened to me to happend and i didnt ask for it to shape me#and i dont want this or be like this bc my life is nothing but a miserable worthless waste of space#but im trying but im all alone in a dark hole like 12ft underground#and people who might see me wont do anything to help or just walk on their merry way#they will take a shovel and shovel even more dirt on top of me and make it even harder for me to crawl out of this hole#and like idek what im talking abt but this world is insane and people are fucking insane#and all everyone has is judgement and cruelness and calousness and like#ppl are just mean and they get personally attacked and angry if you dont live according to their standards and views and idk#ppl are insane and i feel so alone and im lying here knowing that my life is absolutely nothing#and im tired and i just wanna not exist. but really all i want is for someone to look me in the eyes and tell me i matter bc ive never#wanted to be saved. i've only ever wanted to be seen and known and like idfk.... i just dont#feel good but as always... i have to lie here alone and try not to kms bc i dont have anyone to ask to just talk to me for a little moment#like i cant even imagine... asking someone like hey i wanna kms pls talk to me for a moment#and have them reply immediately and idk i wouldnt even need long just like 10 minutes.#sigh idek what im rambling on abt im just so sick and tired and exhausted and i dont wanna die not really#but im so exhausted bc i have to carry this pain every day and people are so fucking awful but i dont wanna be alone and i just dont know
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placeinthisworld · 8 months
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calamarispider · 6 months
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local-magpie · 2 years
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i think its sort of fascinating to consider how religions like judaism are so steeped in their history and culture that it seems like every single holiday i learn about is devoted to memory of something specific any jew can tell you about; and then you have christianity, which is so much the opposite that i had to inform one of my mutuals the other day that Lent is actually a universal christian holiday it just varies dramatically between sects how literal "fast" is
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depresseddepot · 1 year
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in today's installment of "I have personal conversations with my parents once a year" I learned that I was a twin and may possibly have chimerism
#lol. lmao even#i am 21 years old and I'm just now hearing about this because I brought up chimera cats to my mom#the twin thing is fucking WILD to me#the medical implications of chimerism make sense honestly given the sort of medical issues i already have but. a TWIN#she said she was bleeding a little so its more likely she just miscarried the other one and not me#but. is it super dramatic of me to say that i feel sort of like ive lost something lol#like. what gender was it. what was its name. it was too early to have those things but. man a fucking TWIN#this is stupid because I HAVE a brother and we would still have been raised in the same household under the same circumstances#so like. its 100% possible they would have grown up into a person I greatly dislike like how I am w my actual sibling#but. shit lol. a fucking twin.#I never in a million years would have thought that#I would have thought chimerism was more likely over a TWIN#what if. do you think if i had kids i would have fucking twins. are you kidding#im very conflicted about this lol it feels like a fun fact but i am in fact on the verge of tears#it almost feels fake. like what do you mean i was a twin#would I still have been the oldest? did i kill it? did i absorb it?#im going to try really hard to not psychoanalyze this because separated/missing twin psychology seems like psuedoscience at best#but im actually kind of upset about this lol#i had such a hard time socializing as a kid and you're telling me i almost had a sibling i could have learned from?#would they have had autism too? would we have understood each other the way only two neurodivergent people can?#its nobody's fault obviously but if i had someone that HAD to like me between the ages of 0-10 i would be such a different person#if i had a twin in high school people would have known who i was. i wouldn't have been the kid who people barely remembered#there were 2 sets of twins in my graduating class and everyone knew their names. you could say ''the twins'' and they knew them#frankly that sounds awful but like. fuck man i would have developed socially so much easier#i dont feel like im missing someone i feel sort of like i AM them. lmao#my mom did say specifically ''you're a chimera! it was twins and then i started bleeding a little and my next ultrasound it was just you''#so i COULD have chimerism but it also could have just been like vanishing twin syndrome#but i dont think ill be able to tell unless i take a dna test?? fucking christ lol add that to the list of shit i have to do#man. im gonna have to think about this for a long time lmao#miscarriage tw
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adhderall · 2 years
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tired of seeing people be stupid abt mental illness and symptoms btw "omg but everyone does that!!" yeah dipshit the point is that it reaches a pathological level and impedes functioning to a noticeable degree. everyone gets nervous but anxiety disorders exist for a reason, being sad sometimes is normal but depression is another level, etc. etc. I could go on with every other mental condition
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sprinklethetangerine · 2 months
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Watching Saw for the first time, I'm being so incredibly mean to these characters right now.
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iwouldliketoeatrandy · 5 months
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Its so strange to feel like people dont believe you when you tell them things.
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vraska-theunseen · 8 months
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i started watching a youtube video about cinemasins that just kind of mocks it for yknow being a content machine and whittling media criticism down to incredibly simple superficial observations like "this things has tropes/cliches" (not even mentioning how a lot of times those tropes and cliches are literally just. customs. things people do in real life, cultural details that someone would include in a story because again real people write things and they live in the fucking world. wearing all black to a funeral for example i remember they called that a cliche a lot) or "the director made choices" or "this thing is in a genre and has scene decoration fit to the genre or meant to convey meaning to the viewer!" like those are bad things instead of how you tell stories and by and large depreciating the ability of its viewers to conduct media analysis and watch things genuinely and appreciate art and meaning. okay the youtuber didn't say all of that specifically a lot of that is my opinion based on how in middle school i watched cinemasins a lot and observations i've made about people the same age as me who i can surmise also watched cinemasins based on how they watch movies and nitpick things like "this thing has tropes" and "this thing would never happen in real life/a person would never say or do this in real life" because cinemasins has distilled in them a lack of ability to engage in a story as a story crucially i cannot say it simpler than that as a story as a narrative someone wrote based on an idea they had because it was cool or to do something or mean something or have an effect and everything that happens is written by someone or a choice made by an actor because these aren't real people and the purpose of art is to AUUUGHHH I GOT DISTRACTED AGAIN!!!! THE POINT OF THIS POST IS i was watching the video and being like haha yeah hate those guys and then they played a clip from cinemasins to demonstrate what they meant and hearing the cinemasins guy's voice knocked me flat i had to pause the video and come write this post bc i had to recuperate
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thursdayg1rl · 1 year
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while i wait for them to come i have a story to tell actually
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