#how many times have i wished that i could share with someone its actual physical sensation

[iwouldliketoeatrandy]

Its so strange to feel like people dont believe you when you tell them things.

[tvbyw0by]

𝐁𝐒𝐃(𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚, 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢.) 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 <𝟑

𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 & 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐞.

𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭.. Just know that you are perfect. You’re body shape, weight, or anything about your body whatsoever, is absolutely gorgeous. Don’t let ANYONE talk you down about it.

𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀.

I feel like hes very physical. Hes not particually well with words but very much so for physical touch.

He would come up behind you whenever you were standing in the mirror and bring his hands up and down your sides

“Doll.. You’re so gorgeous..“

He’d pepper kisses all over your neck, stomach, thighs, face, arms; everywhere on you

Hes so fucking proud of being able to actually be the love of your life😭

One time when you were out, this girl started talking about you very, very loudly and pointing at you

"Oy. Shut the fuck up you---"

You had to DRAG him away before he caused a scene,

Whenever you guys are out in public, he'll have one hand in yours, the other in his pocket, and his eyes glaring at every single person who looks at you with even a TINY glance of disgust

Whenever you guys are laying down, he'll have his face pressed against your stomach giving it small kisses for comfort

Lets just be for real, hes the king of comforting you with attention, but also very fucking mean to people who hate on you for your body💗

"I love you so much, you're so beautiful, I wish I could just kiss your whole body.. oh, I can?"

𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔 𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈

So, its quite obvious that dazai doesn't quite know much about words, due to the many lies he says and he cant exactly share his feelings well, but with you, he loves making sure you know how much he loves you.

“I love you so much, you’re so gorgeous, like a flower that blooms in the morning sun..“

He gets very.. Physical if you don’t appreciate your appearance , he understands, yet at the same time he doesnt..

"How can someone as beautiful as you hate yourself for it...?"

Hes so confused yet at the same time he always listens to you , but then he like beats you up with words and cuddles

If you guys are in public he'll hold your hand,

Yall know that fucking scary glare he gave people in the port mafia in the 15 arc and shi

yea thats the glare he gives them if they look or say something about you

he'll brag about you... to every single person

everyone at the ADA, hell even the PM knows about you

If you decide to start a diet, he'll be there for you every step of the way😭💗

He physically dies a little bit on the inside whenever he sees you picking yourself apart in the mirror

"Belladonna... you're so gorgeous.." (imagine him kissing you all over with this, yea)

[neopuppy]

i follow both your nct and enha blogs, so i saw your reply to an ask on your enha blog which also mentioned renjun and it felt wrong messaging you abt him there so i will just message you abt him here haha. hope you don’t mind!!!

have you seen renjun’s message on bbl where he exposed a sasaeng’s twt account? that was bravery right there. i hope that’ll serve as an example to idols and warning to crazy fans

I was going THROUGH it last night bc of this jcjejcjdjd I genuinely dont know if I’d be as concerned if it was anyone other than Renjun only given the circumstances(SM ent. and their long history of torturing idols- plus what was also happening with cbx/exo yesterday)

going to say this as someone who is on my 3rd SM group that I’m watching fall apart in real time once again, this is likely Dreams last run(the irony) as a properly promoted group. the only reason they even still get so much is because they are huge in Asia and have always been(PROBABLY BC SM HAS NEVER ONCE TRIED TO BREAK THEM INTO THE WESTERN MARKET THE WAY THEY DID WITH 127 BUT THATS BC 127 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR US FANS- we know how that went). its so hard to watch your favs literally cry for help and you cant do anything when its their own company working against them.

sasaengs are kept alive by INTERNAL staff that have access to information such as private schedule locations, hotels, flights, etc. why else would the SAME people always conveniently ‘show up’ to unannounced events that were never for ‘fans’ to begin with?

Renjun is one of the handful of actual talented idols we have in the age of 2024 where all kpop idols need to do is buy an entirely new face to debut and be deemed “it boy/girl”, makes me sick to my stomach that he cant do his job peacefully bc of people who relentlessly stalk him, purposely sit by him on planes, call his phone day and night.

I’m fr just a normal person, not famous just living my life and my anxiety is BAD. way worse when I was younger and would have physical panic attacks to the point of throwing up. I got help(therapy, meds, etc) fortunately and learned how to calm my anxiety but I always think abt how idols have to deal with this especially when I’m at the airport. like INTL travel is so fucking stressful and taxing on the body, I cannot imagine camera shooting at me the second I step off a 16 hr flight where weird ass ssngs followed me to the bathroom and took pictures of me SLEEPING the entire time! only to run after me in mobs after going through customs.

like idfk why anyone would defend this animalistic behavior. if an idol feels desperate enough to share their mental health issues with us as fans- coming from a place and industry where this is very stigmatized- WE NEED TO LISTEN, AS FANS WHO RESPECT AND TRUST HIM. I wish I could do something, but I cant, and I would beat up every ssng to exists if it held no repercussion bc famous or not these are HUMAN BEINGS, and they dont deserve this.

I really worry given the kpop track record of idols choosing their exit instead of finding help. I am so proud of Renjun for putting himself first and taking this time off to heal himself. like there is just so many things and I am worried abt all of Dream, they debuted so young and have some of the worst ssngs out of all of kpop with a company who wont lift a finger to protect them. in this case they truly only have us(the actual fans)and Renjun going public with this proves that.

I hope anyone who has invaded their privacy feels ashamed, and this goes for ‘fans’ that follow them around the world/are constantly in fan calls/fan signs etc- you are weird. period. nothing normal about that one-sided parasocial relationship that you brag abt online, and instead of spending $1000’s upon $1000’s on bothering an idol who will never fuck you, maybe consider investing in a much needed grippy sock vacation.

I think these people are beyond help, and unfortunately they have the funds or limitless credit to endorse their madness. I need more idols to see this and start calling out these weirdos. NO ONE SHOULD ALLOW THIS BEHAVIOR TO BE NORMALIZED, end of story.

[ember-owlet]

Hi hi :]] I practically did a little happy dance seeing blue eye samurai in your fandom list !

It's super easy for me to see Mizu as a regressor due to various reasons, particularly involuntarily! (And they very much deserve to catch up on their childhood)

So I think the formal request would be a headcanon post ! 👀 it doesn't have to be specifically regressor Mizu if you don't see her in that light /gen :]

I'm just happy someone else in this little corner of agere internet shares one of my interests !! ✨️🌿

a/c : hello!! aaa i'm ecstatic to know that you also enjoy blue eye samurai with an agere lens! despite the show's brutality, there are some really good nuggets of baby content to be found. i'd be happy to write some regressor! mizu headcanons for you as its about time i wrote something for them. and don't worry, i see her in the same light as well! feel free to send me your own personal thoughts on the characters/show to discuss as i'm thrilled to be in this corner of the agere internet with you friend. enjoy the headcanons! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ disclaimer! i do use primarily feminine terms when referring to mizu (they/she), but i do acknowledge that there are many interpretations of pronouns/gender identities to refer to the character as, and i find them wonderful! /gen

dynamic: regressor! mizu

content warnings: mentions of vent regression due to trauma, physical/mental anguish, light mentions of gender dysphoria ((stay safe little firelights, you can always come back to this when you're ready))

mizu has always been a trauma regressor to me, especially due to their lack of dealing with their feelings head on. their body would have to nearly force them to stop and take a break from their revenge mission and focus on recovering.

the first time she regressed would be terrifying to her, the feeling of being so out of control and helpless would make her hide away to try to push herself out of it as fast as possible.

it would take an incredible amount of time and trust developed before she felt safe around someone to tell, let alone show such a vulnerable state.

the select characters that i could realistically see her regressing around would be sword father or ringo.

if she were to regress voluntarily it would be to have the childhood that she wished she could have, one where she wasn't forced to grow up as a boy and to ease her gender dysphoria with feminine items/clothing.

she would be a very independent kiddo, not wanting to rely on others in fear that she would be an inconvenience or she would be punished for wasting someone's time after being treated as a monster for so long. if she were honest she genuinely wouldn't know how to react to such affection.

that being said, she needs gentle reassurance when in a younger state with a caregiver that helps her along the way. adding fruit/vegetables to her meals to make sure its balanced or mending their clothes would never go unnoticed and greatly appreciated.

she'd be so used to the feeling of being in pain or nauseous that she'd have a hard time differentiating pain that should be attended to or not. therefore her caregiver would need to keep an eye on her and remind her that any and all pain is worth looking at/caring for.

as a sentimental person she'd want to keep things gifted to her and wear or use them as comfort items until they physically can't be repaired anymore.

some of her favorite gifts would include free flowing or baggy clothes that she can keep close to her person for comfort.

her main comfort item is her sword, and would not be able to go anywhere or sleep without it clutched to her side as it reminds her of home and is something that she can rely on to keep her safe.

an actually extremely feral regressor as well if given the chance to be her true self (/lh /pos). i could absolutely see them wanting to play outside and then coming back home caked in mud and bruises while having the time of their life.

let her be a goofy kid!! growing up so fast from situations out of her control that she'd long for days where she'd let herself have fun.

LOVES going to the beach/aquarium. a true ocean lover whose favorite activities involve being around or in large bodies of water.

play fighting is a love language! she would love to wrestle her playmates/caregivers to see who is the strongest. as a physically stronger regressor she'd need to learn the value of her strength and to not be too rough if she were to get too excited.

they can get easily frustrated with creative tasks, and would prefer specific instruction in order to feel useful. it would make them the best helper around.

would love to play a game where they are the hero for once. (being called a monster can wear someone down mentally and it would definitely make her day to be seen as the hero of the story).

she also requires a ton of quiet time to allow her mind and body to rest. would she ever do it herself willingly is another question for another day, but she'd reluctantly do it if asked of her with sufficient gentle praise and coaxing.

as touch starved as they are, i can't see her being the one to initiate contact with someone unless the moment takes over her softer side and she can't help but wrap her arms around them or gently nudge them with her body to tell them that she's there and cares for them.

from her caregiver or those that she considers close she would accept forms of physical affection but wouldn't be too vocal on how much it means to her.

she'd believe that she'd never be able to repay her caregiver for their kindness but will continually try to find little things throughout the day to show them how grateful she is.

oddly enough i could totally see her gifting a sword to her caregiver as it is something that she believes she's good at and would work tirelessly day and night to make sure it's perfect.

despite being in a younger mindset she can and still would mean business to anyone who dares mess with her caregiver. even a baby phoenix still has talons.

[dustylogicalityrat]

today, something wonderful happened. Will Wood released the I/Me/Myself 2018 Live Demo. i've replayed it too many times to count. i thought i'd share with you its lyrics because i have audio processing issues, the actual lyrics aren't up, and i thought maybe someone out there would appreciate it. <3

(ALSO, I'M SO FUCKIN' OBSESSED WITH THE THEREMIN[?] IN THIS DEMO. DEFINITE BE MORE CHILL VIBES.)

⬇️

[Instrumental]

(ahh-a-a-a-a-a-ahh sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)

(lahh-a-a-a-a-a-ahh sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)

(lahh-a-a-a-a-a-ahh sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)

(lahh-a-a-a-a-a-ahh sha-la-la-la-)

I been feeling lightheaded 

since I lost enough weight to fit back in my skin

Flower petals and feathers tether me to the ground

(Pound for pound)

Take my tea with formaldehyde for my feminine side since the day that I died

While I whittle my bones until I’m brittle

Am I pretty now?

For some reason, I find myself

caring what you think of me

(and bared for any man who’d care to see)

And now you’ve got me thinking,

I wish I could be a girl, 

and that way, you’d wish I could be your 

girlfriend, boyfriend

Am I pretty enough to lie to?

(oh-ah oh)

I wish I could be a girl, 

and that way, you’d wish I could

be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Just-a little old me in a big, big world

(oh-ah oh)

(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Little old me in a big world

(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah-)

I wish

[Instrumental]

(sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)

[Instrumental continued]

I’ve been feeling lighthearted

since I gained enough weight back 

to c-c-c-c-cover my bones

I get dressed up in shadows one leg at a time

(We’re so alike)

'Cause if the shoe fits,

then I won’t try it on

You’ll be walking out early,

but the show must go on

No, I know that I’m wrong,

but I love how your on my side

For some reason, I find myself

caring what you do to me-e-e-eee

(my bad [?])

and too confused to choose who I should be

And now you got me thinking,

I wish I could be a girl,

and that way, you'd wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Am I pretty enough to lie to?

(oh-ah oh)

I wish I could be a girl,

and that way, you'd wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Just-a little old me, in a big, big world

(oh-ah oh)

(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Little old me in a big, big (world)

I wish I were a- 

girl

[Instrumental]

Lately, I been wishing I were FIVE FOOT FIVE

weighing nine-nine wearing thigh highs

I'll be your prosthetic

Meet your anesthetic criteria

Would you please objectify me?

I’m-a just a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' self-loathing

My evidence, my witness,

when I’m caught breaking the laws of physics

I wish I could be a girl,

and that way, you’d wish I could be your girlfriend, boyfriend

Am I pretty enough 

to love back?

No, not yet

I wish I could be a girl, 

and that way, you’d wish you could kick my fucking teeth in

Just-a little old me- 

Am I pretty enough

to fucking die?

(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Little old me in a big world

(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

Well, I would give you my whole wo-o-o-o-orld

(woah woah woah woah wo-o-o-oah)

Little old me in a big-

world.

(ahh-ah-ah-ah-ah-)

I wish

(sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)

(lahh-a-a-a-a-a-ahh)

(sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la)

(mmmm) 

(girls)

(ahhh)

(cry)

(mmmm) 

(girls)

Don't you fucking cry

(Fuck)

[okaylikeschaewon]

What part of writing that make you think "yep this person never have sex before" when you read other smut? For example,for me its when they use "sound effects" in sex like "plok!"

And how do you translate the sex scenes you have on mind to your writing to make it compelling? THANKS A LOT

Two questions so the answer is going to be a bit longer, I'm going to try being thorough with this one since it's a very interesting question.

Honestly I generally try to ignore that part as best as I can because I don't think it matters, people should write what they want to write even if they are virgins! That being said, there's a big difference with the plot being ridiculous and the actual physical act being ridiculous, and the latter is much more difficult to read for me personally - it's just very immersion-ruining.

For example, my Aespa fic has an absolutely absurd plot that leads to sex with Winter, but I'm totally fine with that because it's clearly fiction. What ruins it for me a bit is when people write stuff like a girl trying anal for the first time who takes it in the ass for an hour in the most brutal, intense, relentless session, and begs for you to go harder because it feels so good. Or like when a girl is written as a virgin, but somehow she's amazing in bed and knows every trick, has no issue deepthroating, etc etc. I generally try to avoid doing this (although, I have no issue writing over-the-top sex scenes from time to time), and I put a good chunk of effort from time to time to write fics that depict the struggles of sex. Maybe the girl can't deepthroat her first time, maybe anal is too painful, maybe she doesn't love the taste of your cum, these are all possibilities and I like to explore them sometimes to make my writing feel more 'real' and have some variety. There are only so many ways to write 'he put penis in vagina' in a compelling and interesting way.

To answer your second question, and this applies to more than just sex scenes, I just try to use real life experience whenever applicable. Let's take relationships in general, assuming you are a writer who is a virgin. You can still write a lovely relationship by using your own experience with relationships, you could write out a date you went on with a girl (while replacing names ofc). Maybe you've never gone on a date, you could write about a date your friend has told you about instead. Maybe you've seen a cute couple while you were out for a hike, you can use that as inspiration. It's obviously more difficult with sex when you are a virgin because people don't generally talk about their personal lives and the amount of details is a bit less than the info about dates and stuff, but you get the pont. I really think using porn is not a good idea because it's incredibly unrealistic for how sex really is, but if you are going to then at least try using amateur content. You can always browse online forums where people are more comfortable sharing their experiences, like Reddit, but just be aware that people can lie on the internet!

I personally wouldn't write out one of my real life expereinces one to one in a fic for numerous reasons, but I absolutely mix and match aspects and alter them in both positive and negative ways. Like I've written stuff that I, in real life, would never do. I've also written stuff that I, in real life, wished I did. It really comes down to the little details, the subtle awkwardness, the comfort and fun being with someone you really love, that feeling you get inside. Trying to put it into words is what really makes writing enjoyable despite the difficulty at times - for me at least.

I hope I adequately answered the question, and I hope my answer can potentially be of some help/insight for other writers in the community! Thank you again for the lovely ask!

[pokemoncenter]

On Team Plasma

... Truthfully, I did not want to share this in this way. But I feel that given recent events, it is best to be open and upfront. In this post, I will share all I know and all I can remember of Team Plasma, their actions, their methods, their reasons, and most importantly, why there cannot be a new resurgence of Team Plasma- Anyone claiming the name cannot be related to them.

Twelve years ago, I was a member of the original Team Plasma. I was afraid to share this until now, for many reasons, not least of which that I was afraid it would cause people to think less of me. I wished to take this secret to my grave. However, given the recent events of someone claiming to be Team Plasma, and potentially seeking to use its name to cause harm, I felt it best to take this chance to write down and post everything I know.

I do not know if this information will help, but it is my hope that it will either lay fears to rest, or help stop whoever is using Team Plasma's name.

First, I wish to clarify that for all of Team Plasma’s crimes, I was never involved in any ‘liberations’. My role was that, when Pokemon were brought to me, I simply examined them and deemed whether they were safe to return to the wild, or if they needed treatment first. I know that this does not excuse it, but even so…

To start from the beginning… Many have forgotten this now, but Team Plasma was originally nothing like what people think of it now. It originally began as a group devoted to Pokemon welfare. It is known now that it was far more sinister, but in the beginning, it was nothing more than a group which preached that humans should not force Pokemon to conform to their ideals.

Though no one knew much about it at the time, Team Plasma actually began in 1996. Ghetsis founded it as a group promoting Pokemon welfare, while raising a boy, N.

(Though I have no proof, due to their physical similarity and circumstance, I suspect that Ghetsis is N’s father.)

At the time, Team Plasma started small. It had no resources to speak of- In fact, when it began, Team Plasma (then Plasma Circle) had only eight members. Those who would go on to become the Seven Sages, and the Team’s ‘prince’, Lord N.

The growth of the organization was… surprisingly swift. By the time of its fall in 2010, it had surpassed 90,000 members. But before that, when it was just starting out, it owed its growth entirely to Ghetsis. The man was a surprisingly powerful public speaker, and has a strong charisma. Though he was at best someone who could be described as a monster, he had a keen eye for seeing through people, and could work a crowd better than anyone else. Combined with his acting as a simple older man, and even using the young N to boost his public image as someone campaigning for a kinder world, he was quick to gain popularity.

I did not join until 2008, when I had just turned ten years old. Rather than going on a journey as a Trainer, I wanted to instead help Pokemon. I joined Team Plasma, and there, I began to learn medicine and treatment to Pokemon.

What I would like everyone to understand is that ‘liberation’ was not originally considered the universal answer to all Pokemon. It changed. Swiftly, and yet unstoppably. 

I am getting ahead of myself.

Before I joined Team Plasma, there were many stories on the news of humans abusing their Pokemon. Many, like myself, had thought this to mean that humans were cruel. That we should try to make the world better for them. 

Upon joining, I studied under some of the older members, to learn how to treat Pokemon. Pokemon were brought to us frequently- Some of them liberated, some of them wild who were injured in other ways. We knew, of course, that some of them were liberated, but the important thing was that we believed liberation was only done to people who abused their Pokemon. And when a Pokemon was brought in with bruises from boot prints… We felt justified. 

As time went on, however, the number of Pokemon brought to us increased. And it had always been that every liberation had been justified. We had too many Pokemon to care for, and not enough time to look into each Pokemon we received, to ensure the liberation had been justified… but it always had been before, so we simply did not think much of it. We simply assumed that it was similar… That every Pokemon was either justly liberated, or wild and injured by human action.

At the same time, throughout 2009 and 2010, things seemed to… escalate.

We started out thinking that we would only liberate Pokemon that had been abused. And then, somewhere down the line, the language shifted without anyone noticing- That if we liberated a Pokemon, then it must have been being abused. And eventually, this turned into the thought that humans keeping Pokemon at all was abusing them, so all Pokemon should be liberated.

It was impossible to speak out against this. After all, we were all united in our love of Pokemon. Everyone agreed. If you disagreed… it just showed that you were another one of the foolish and cruel humans who were abusing Pokemon. The entire group felt unified, as long as you agreed. And if you stepped out of line, then everyone would turn against you. 

We felt unable to trust ourselves, because surely, the organization wouldn’t do anything wrong. But we also could not trust anyone outside of the Team, because so many people were abusing their Pokemon. We eventually could not trust anything except that which our superiors told us. It was horrifying- Without realizing it, you would be swept up by the flow of the crowd, terrified that any disagreement from the norm would be discovered, and you would be cast out.

Most of us did not know anything about the castle, either. 

The underground base was a well-known thing, of course. Most of us had been there a few times- I was there to see Lord N’s coronation, as well as to see a few of the larger or more dangerous Pokemon that needed treatment. We had been told it was simply to avoid crowding out room on Pokemon habitats above the ground. None of us knew it could move. 

It was when the castle rose up that I fled. The castle appeared, the Legendary Dragons were revived, the Gym Leaders and Elite Four were fighting us. That was when I finally realized just how deep in over my head I truly was. And so I ran. I ran for my life. I did not stop running until I had made it all the way back to Castelia City, and then, I shut myself away for the better part of a year.

… The rest of that story isn’t relevant to Team Plasma, however.

Team Plasma as an organization was managed by the Seven Sages, each with their own role. However, Lord N, as the King of Team Plasma, was truly in charge… or so we thought. We believed that the Seven Sages served Lord N, but in truth, Ghetsis was the true leader, and Lord N nothing more than a figurehead.

Among us in the lower ranks, however, we believed that Lord N was the true power. We saw his ideals, and his beliefs. He was pure-hearted, and truly believed in his mission with his whole heart. Between Lord N’s purity and Ghetsis’ foul charisma, most of us were true believers in the mission. However, not everyone was- At an estimate, I would guess that roughly 80% of Team Plasma’s grunts were loyal to Lord N, and the mission of welfare and happiness for all Pokemon. The remaining 20% were… more loyal to Ghetsis. Rather than wanting to benefit Pokemon, they simply wanted power. I was blind to it at the time, but now it is easy to see in retrospect. And most of the (roughly) one thousand members who committed the “liberations” were part of that second faction.

Rood of the Seven Sages was the one whom I worked under. His group operated mostly for Pokemon welfare- We treated Pokemon, as mentioned, and we sought to make things better for them.

Sometimes, though, Pokemon were brought to us that had their hearts closed by the abuses they received. Even when we treated them, they would not return to the wild. Instead, they chose by their own will to remain with Lord N. I believe they understood him, and his dream. His ideal, after all, was a peaceful, gentle world…

When Team Plasma fell, at that time, when Lord N and Ghetsis were both defeated, Team Plasma disbanded. Those of us who were loyal to Lord N and the ideals of making the world better for Pokemon fled, scattered all over Unova, or were arrested. Most of us would have gone into hiding, or tried to continue to find our own work,elsewhere to continue the dream of helping Pokemon. 

Those who remained loyal to Ghetsis and his maniacal plans instead went to ground with him. Without being arrested, they made a resurgence two years later as the second Team Plasma, who had abandoned all pretense of the original’s noble goals. They were nothing more than a military force that wished to conquer the region, if not the world, for Ghetsis’ horrible ambitions.

When Ghetsis was defeated a second time… I don’t know for certain. I’ve heard conflicting reports. That he died at the end of that fight. That he was arrested. Or that by using Kyurem… His heart was destroyed- His body survived, but the man called “Ghetsis” was dead. Regardless, all accounts agree- Ghetsis is no longer a threat. With the remaining Seven Sages arrested, Team Plasma is no longer a threat to anyone. Anyone who seeks to cause trouble using their name has no relation- The power of Team Plasma is all accounted for, and can no longer cause trouble.

Lord N… I do not expect anyone to believe me, or understand. But I can swear that he was not evil. He was manipulated by Ghetsis from his childhood. I have theories, and suspicions, but no proof, so they are not worth posting here. But I can say this:

Once, I had the fortune of seeing his dream. While I was at the underground base, I saw him resting, with a Munna there. In the Munna’s smoke, I saw his dream- A kind, and gentle dream, wishing purely for the happiness of Pokemon.

I hope this was informative. I will do my best to answer any other further questions you have.

[neos-schlond-poofa]

An Ode to Angie Beneviento

Okay, so this actually will be a semi-serious post. LIKE I know I don't usually post serious stuff unless its an angst edit HOWEVER it IS Angie's birthday and she actually is a very important character to me. Obviously not the most important character to me though, that's Donna, but that is another post for another birthday.

But... I really love Angie's route. And it's really important to me. And anyone who knows me knows that I'm not really an open person about serious stuff (I THINK?? sam if you read this tell me pleak) or I'm talkative, but I think this is worth putting out there. Especially because of how much it means to me.

I'm ace. Like this really isn't me coming out, like I've always kind of been out as ace?? But I never really said it either on here but like I am ace and I never tried to hide it at least. This is so odd like this is kind of like me coming out. But it isn't. BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT. I just need to say that so this makes more sense.

Seeing Angie just straight up say she's asexual just made me feel so happy.

I can't tell you a single other ace person in media that (that isn't Todd from Bojack or also aromantic), and just seeing someone really silly like me? That made me feel so nice.

I tried to wish away me being ace before. Like, completely fine with the gay and non-binary stuff for the most part, but being ace? Hated it. Like, I don't like ess e ex (I really don't want this post to be hidden because I used the word), nor did I ever really have an interest in it. And I didn't want to have an interest in it really. Kind of? It's complicated.

I wanted to be like the others really. I've had relationships before where I hate myself for being ace, because I have never had an ace partner, and I just will never be enough for them because of that (minus the one time I did have an ace partner, but they were very disliking of physical touch which I do love). I used to try to convince myself that I can just stop being this way, I can change for them, all so they wouldn't leave me. I was ashamed of being this way, despite being so usually proud of my other parts of my identity. There was even a time when one of my exes tried to convince me that I wasn't ace too, but definitely didn't make this situation worse. I just didn't like being this way.

Although, it wasn't as strong when I started playing Resident Lover + when I got into my current relationship. Like, I am fairly fine now. Yeah, I still kind of do feel bad for being ace but like? Who cares? I mean I do but I know them and I know she would never hate me for that, it's just perfect. I love them so much.

But I still always have those thoughts. And I'm not saying Resident Lover completely eradicated those thoughts... but they did help them.

Seeing Angie just... openly say she's ace and set her boundaries and MC just accepting it? It was like. Amazing. I never really saw something like that (Todd from Bojack does NOT count, he is a guy. And I am not a girl either but I feel closer connected to girls because they're so much sillier and nice plus also like Angie more).

It was just so nice seeing representation that I hadn't really seen before, and one where I could see a character get into a happy relationship with someone they really love, and it all work out. Angie helped me accept being ace, she's helped me being proud of it, unlike any character before (okay sorry Todd). And, it's her birthday. And not that many people in this fandom appreciate her. And I know not that many people in the fandom will read this (you guys hate long posts despite being in a visual novel fandom... what is this don't you guys love reading???), but I still wanted to share it. To share MY personal story and how Angie is important to me, and just one of the many reasons why this game is so important to me too.

I love Angie Beneviento.

[marinazone]

What's been bugging my brain recently

Boy oh boy where do I start. Well I suppose I'll start with a little bit of context. Hi! My name is Hunter (if you never knew my real moniker, not many do even if i tell them); and I have been in a disastrous...what could only be described as love illness, since February 28th. Before i explain why (if you dont already know) allow me to provide my full experience with love. When i was in 12th grade i was used as rebound for a girl named Nicole after her boyfriend had broken up with her. It was the first time i had ever gotten to feel love, the expectations of what i should expect were to be established from then forward. We talked a lot asked eachother how we were doing shared similar interests that kinda shit. It was cool, the sex was lukewarm at best but it felt nice to feel appreciated. Thats when her emotional manipulation began. She would be in low points that i attributed to depression. I always told her "go get help for your depression, itll only get worse" all of which she militantly ignored to the point where she told me she was being physically abused by her family. Naturally, stupid me, believed her and grew more and more attached and protective and i didnt find out til after we split up that she was full of horse shit. It was during this point that she would take opportunities when she was "moody" to punch me across the face. Why did i take that shit? I dont know! I guess i was too fucking scared to lose someone i was attached too. Two years passed and i realize she started to ditch me to hang with some dude named Paul and was cheating on me for months. I finally asked firmly if she was and she admitted it, playing sap. I was devestate for about three months afterward. I had planned to kill myself numerous times but always remembered how much my friends would miss me. It was during this time around 2013 that i took up a habit of walking a mile to a nearby bridge on a "private walk" over an artificial lake to just gaze into and get lost in what seemed like infinite thought. I eventually got over her, but only after deleting all contact with her.

Second is someone online i will just call Saber. A very basic ass relationship. No emotional fulfillment for me and only sexting. He was a bit different in abuse in that it was more a financial abuse than anything else. He relied on me to pay for his ffxiv game and subscription and shit cause he didnt live in NA and i didnt see a cent back. The separation was far more a fade then burning out. We just stopped talking and i stopped giving once i realized i was being used

And the third ex is actually criminally dangerous so i will avoid any details at all about them! Just know theyre in jail still i think and they dont know my address

So we arrive more recently, I dont want to use exact names as im still in contact with them and are (presumably) friends and i do not wish to expose information given in confidence. I will just be using first initials as follow: A, B, T, and W.

So it began with a message I'd received from B (all this was when i was freyacrescentshangover on here). He messaged me because we were into the same shit and asked if i wanted to rp. I figured sure! Why not! Well he was pretty chill and nice and i would eventually tell him i had a crush on him. He said "its cool we have similar fetishes but lets just stay friends for now ok?"

It didnt upset me to much. Then W entered my life and boy is she a treat (not sarcastic, mostly). She contacted me for much the same reason. We were into similar shit. We'd spend a lot of time back and forthing this stuff and getting to know eachother and then i finally told her i had a crush on her and her answer is something to keep in mind for later. She didnt say yes, but she didnt say no. She told me things such as ne being cute and how she enjoyed how we had similar kinks and said she'd be down to be more flirty sometimes. I had no fucking idea what this meant (No offense W) so I was more just in a state of confusion where our relationship was. As for why i admired her? She was passionate. Her interests were so emblazoned on her soul that is was visceral just being in a conversation (still is to an extent). Yet she's also so cool and mysterious. It felt like she was someone i had to learn about, someone that i could listen to their passions for hours in complete awe and admiration. Thats still what i admire about her to this day i suppose, but ill get onto that more in a bit.

This was also around the same time i had developed a crush on A. A is super cool and chill even to this day. Never afraid to be herself or says what she feels and that is truely admirable. She'd contacted me because, once again, we were into similar fetishes. We did the old exchange weird stuff and talk until i noticed she, by complete fucking cosmic coincidence, lived in the same town as me. You guessed it! Got a crush on her. This rejection breaks the mold a bit though in that she reciprocated the feelings but felt she was in to many relationships and couldnt provide me the emotional support i needed. Didnt bother me too much.

Well, that is until a couple months later A and her wife formed triad with W. It felt so.....bad if im being honest. I feel guilty to say it and i am really happy for them still! But there's always been a part of me since then that sorta felt......jealous? Short changed? I dont know, its hard to find a word for it. Its like when you taste something super fucking sour but you like expected it to be sweet. My self worth sorta plummeted from it all. Like i just wasnt enough for them..

Cut to later and i met T. Shes super sweet and funny and boy i got a crush on her too! She got into contact with me because......you guessed it! Similar fetishes! It feels like im just gifted with a power that lets people confide their weird fetishes with me. When i told her she told me essentially "Same fetishes dont like you that way".

Now we cut from 3 years ago to a month ago. I get feelings spurring up again for T and W (Probably A too but after how this goes I dont wanna be crushed ever again). I tell T first i have a crush on her. She says something similar to before but elaborates that romantic feelings are very hard for her to obtain. Then I tell W again. She says "We have similar fetishes and thats cool but i dont like you that way". For some fucking reason, this was an emotionally devastating breaking point for me and im not sure why. i got over T in like two days. W on the other hand? Were a month strong in and I still cant stop being depressed about it all. What happened here? What went different here? Was it because of the awkward response id receive years ago? Was it the jealousy-like feelings i still harbored? Is it just because i wanted to hear more about her and her interests and passions hidden under that cool (and sexy) exterior like i had before? I dont know. Probably never will. Likely a combination of all those though.

So here I am, on this weird precipice of loneliness, ready to die any second because my self worth doesnt seem to improve no matter what I do (and ive been doing a ton lately). Will I be able to work up the courage to take another final shot at A? Probably not, my body can't take another hit like that. Atleast not so soon. Will I ever get over W? Im not sure. The last time i felt this bad was with Nicole and I had to cut all contact with her to feel better, but the thought of doing that with W makes me even more sick. Maybe I'm just SOL and my emotional and mental stability doomsday clock is finally reaching midnight (sure hope not! I have Marinas to bully!).

Apart from all this, with how spurred i feel and such. I find it harder and harder to get out of bed every day. To do the things i like keeping myself healthy. Eating. Showering. To live. And yet I move.

[creaturefeaster]

this post is sponsored by uppsulka

This post has nothing to do with Uppsulka I just had this doodle sitting for like a day. I just wanted to talk about my last post-- that ask about CQ’s story and the likes. I’ve gotten a handful of messages about it since I answered it (+a couple replies on the post itself) and I wanted to clarify a couple of things.

Please, if you’re worrying that I’m overworking myself, or pushing myself to put stuff out that isn’t ready yet, know that I am certainly not under any pressure to put things out before their due time. I share lots of tidbits about the story on this blog of course, but you may notice that any actual, physical writing for the story is virtually nonexistent on this blog. If I wanted to, I could have shared the drafts long ago, but I’m taking my time and making it perfect (for me). It will be out when it’s ready, and you don’t have to worry about outside pressures/lack of quality.

Another thing! Some of the messages I’ve gotten were in response to some of the tags on the post, as I am known to ramble quite a bit in the tags from time to time. I mentioned the possibility of me seeking out artistic help in the future. The amount of people wanting to help is heartwarming, it really helps me realise just how many people want to see this story come to fruition. However there’s still a long road before the real, official art for the story will come into play.

Finding the right people to help with such a personal project of mine, if I so choose to go down that fork in the road, would be an arduous process in making sure I know and trust those people and their abilities. (I’m also really picky about how my style is drawn, if people were to help. But that’s a discussion for another time) Not everyone has all the time in the world, either! This is a long term project. Keep in mind this story has been developing for over a decade, and while it’s only the last handful of years that I have really kicked everything into overdrive to try and fully piece it all together, it’s still probably got a while to go before I could ever consider it complete. So please, keep all of this in mind.

As I continue structuring and polishing the written story, I wish to release it in divided chunks. When any given chunk comes close to its finish, I’ll be having beta readers scour the texts for a little bit. Placeholder sketches would ideally be littered throughout the story as needed, but by beta reader’s judgement, more or less may be added. That right there, once the beta reading is done, is the end of the road to visuals-ville. That is to say, that’s when I’d start actually drawing out the things that I need.

So now you have some insight on how the process would work. Was it all necessary to explain? Probably not!!! But if I didn’t ramble so much, I don’t think I’d be able to write this story, either. It’s so big x_x.

All of this could be (and probably should have been) summarized to this:

For those who want to help, for those who truly enjoy the content I create for my universe and want to see more of it, I just ask for your support. Seeing likes, reblogs, reading the tags or comments people add onto the content I share, they really, really help keep me motivated. Every piece of fanart makes my day, whether I comment on it or not, I’m always behind the screen getting all giddy and excited that someone cares about the characters and world I’ve poured my heart and soul into. All the asks you guys send, while I can’t always answer all of them, it lets me know there are still people who are interested in the world and want to know more about it. That’s what keeps me wanting to write. So if you want to help, that’s how you can do it right now.

[bhobbiel]

Scattered Maiden Rose Thoughts

*totally understand if this is not your kind of manga for very obvious reasons. This includes spoilers

New Impressions since reading years ago

I have not read this since I was a young teen! I had no idea there were new chapters or redraws (s/o to the saezuru discord- maiden rose channel or else I would have never found out)

I still have a decent of the "new" parts to read.

First of all when I read it as a teen I has no idea it was not a chronological story with regards to the train scene LOL .

I still get confused with the timeline like of the doujinshi/ one shots.

Like when Klaus is healing and all bloody with Taki with him is that like right after he was interrogated? Or when Klaus gets mad at Suguri for leaving Taki with him. Idk maybe if I read the new redraws and chapters it will make more sense.

Is it supposed to be a mystery whether or not Klaus is a Eurote spy? Or the thing that people assume instead of knowing real relationship between Taki and Klaus? Also I think other people besides Surgui know... like idk the older frowning man guarding Taki's door. Or the military people who were suspicious of why they were in each others' room...

_

Speed of relationship

Also its wild how much Taki's deportation/ the escalation of war speeds up their romantic and sexual relationship. It is the catalyst that forces Klaus to assert his romantic love for Taki, for him to get physically intimate with him. Truly now or never in the context of war.

But seriously its wild how fast things escalate. Like within days. Including a lot of "firsts" for Taki that he was forbidden to experience at all.

---

How each character fell in love with the other

Taki:

With Taki I think it is more clear to me why he fell in love with Klaus. No one fully saw Taki for who he was outside of his very high social standing that inherently puts him on a pedestal. He had a lot of first/ beautiful experiences at Luckenwalde. He shared those things with Klaus. Klaus actually genuinely enjoyed being with Taki as he was. I mean Taki is great but he is also uptight, naive, and sexually/romantically inexperienced. But idk I think its unique that it does not bother Klaus. Also because of Klaus openly being the first one to say his feelings/desires- Taki can even acknowledge these parts of himself at all.

However, in the beginning Taki could not consciously realize his feelings about Klaus. How could he? He faces: cultural ideas of purity linked to his family/social standing/ political role. War, taboo, and obligation. There are so many things at only Luckenwalde they will get to experience. There are so many kind soft parts of their relationship that can never be accessed again.

Klaus:

With Klaus it is more obvious to me how he shows his care for Taki and less of the why. I wish I understood better though!

He shows this in a myriad ways. Klaus is saved by the book he puts in his jacket because Taki wrote in it in Luckenwalde. He earnestly tells Taki how much he wants (maybe more in fantasy than in possible reality) a simple life with him. He shows how much he wants Taki including toxic ways. Sometimes he wants him softly and other times violently and ravenously.

It is shown in Luckenwalde that Klaus at first admired Taki's strength. But it becomes more and more things. Even if he only initially works on getting closer to Taki as an order.

I think it is really meaningful to Klaus that they met years before reuniting in Luckenwalde. Klaus infers that it shows that Taki wants him even if cannot verbalize it. Klaus' experience of the romance illustrates the more metaphysical aspect of love. For him, it does not matter why you fall in love with someone, even if none of their characteristics make sense on paper, it is that you must go toward it regardless of sacrifices.

I think this part of the story alludes that Taki's metaphysical social role isn't just "superstition" but is possibly the very thing that brings him and Klaus together.

Even given how things played out- I don't think Klaus regrets leaving his home, rights or citizenship for Taki. He definitely is furious that despite these things- Taki does not show physical or emotional intimacy toward him. He does not understand the rejection. And even the "why" Taki is acting this way is only explained by Surgui.

--

Emotions through art choices

How the author shows subtle facial expressions and touch between characters is really impressive. Especially since a large part of the story is the lack of fully honest, vulnerable, or direct verbal communication- the way the characters' facial expressions are both guarded and show emotion is a big part of the storytelling.

---

To be honest idk if this series will ever be finished 😭

[systemadministratorclu]

Follow-up to this post! (sorta!)

So I have continued to wear my homemade Hal 9000 pin on my apron at Blendy's where I work. I also took off the actual name tag with my other name, as I recently decided to go by the preferred name 'Hal' (I'll wear the regular one for inspections, though I might see if I can get it changed. I should be able to. There's two people that have 'Strawberry' and 'Smoke Dawg' on their actual nametags, I doubt 'Hal' will cause any outrage.)

Anyway, enter random drive-thru customer pulling up to pay for his money. He asks how I'm doing, I say 'good' (the response you're supposed to give in fast food), he says something about 'you know Jesus loves you?' and I do visibly cringe and probably make a face, because my brain is going 'ah shit, a religious asshole'.

But he wasn't. At all.

I said "Ehhhh, not really into that." He said "you're not into that?", I said "no, too many bad experiences with those types." He nodded, said "well, when it comes to religious people, I'll agree with you." We had a brief exchange of agreement/shared dislike for people shoving religion onto others.

Now comes the best part.

He sees my pin and goes "Is your name Hal?" I freeze up for a moment because this is the first time since the change that someone is asking me that, and I'm nervous about how he's going to react to a woman named Hal.

But I answer, kinda nervous: "Yeah." He nods, smiles, reaffirms his agreement with me on religious people. Now, I'm used to getting very negative reactions, so I want this dude to know he handled the religion thing correctly. I thank him for his understanding and not trying to push it on me, and I tell him I'm used to getting dirty looks when I say anything about being not religious, and when people see my name.

This guy gives me an incredulous look and says "Well, they need to just get over themselves, Hal is a beautiful name."

Y'all, I think I turned as red as the Blendy's sign and my face got a mind of its own and gave this dude a smile in a size I didn't know was physically possible. I barely managed to get a 'thank you!' out, I was grinning so hard, even as he said "have a good day, Hal!" and went to the next window to get his food. I don't think any person in the drive-thru or anywhere has ever made me feel this kind of happy. I was grinning like an idiot for at least 15 minutes after that (and I was still blushing so hard i could feel it for probably the next three cars after him). I'm not religious, but if it exists, I hope this guy's God gives him some kind of blessing for this. I'm wishing all the good things on him. I didn't get the dude's name, but:

[astroboots]

Ok, here I am getting mushy about Homecoming:

It truly does feel so homey, so safe and comfortable, and this goes beyond your magical writing to the moodboards, they’re always so so perfect and they set the mood so well and the aesthetics are wonderful and they just make me feel so warm and cozy. The atmosphere you made within this universe is truly so special to me, I wish I could live within it every day. It just screams “home” to me, like the way you describe Frankie and Santi all soft and comfortable, Santi’s longer hair and beard once he’s put down roots and realized that he doesn’t need to run anymore was such an emotional sucker punch, I loved it. The chapter about the army sweatshirt especially made me fall in love, it was so well written and made me feel so many things. I started Homecoming for the smut and I stayed for the beautiful world and relationship you created. It reminds me of laying out in the sunshine, a hot drink on the porch, reading next to someone but not needing to talk, cooking dinner in a warmly lit kitchen with the people you love, dappled sunlight, mismatched glasses collected over years, clothes so worn and loved there are holes forming, knowing who sits where without needing to speak, sentimental holiday decorations - it’s home. It’s being in love. It’s knowing that no matter how far you run, you’ll always have someone to return to.

Homecoming has been my little escape for so long, and I just wanted to thank you for creating and sharing such a masterpiece with us. I always get a physical reaction, like an actual ache in my heart whenever I read a new chapter because you’re writing and the way you convey emotions and feelings and places are so real and so perfect

Hi hon, I'm so so so sorry I took this long to answer this. I want you to know that it only took so long because i've been hoarding this message to reread over and over.

Homecoming hold a special place in my heart, and to know that you feel this strongly about it, and enjoy it and especially the moodboards, which I spend so much time on for no damn good reason except that I think they're fun to make, means the world to me.

Your description of how this world makes you feel made me develop permanent hearteyes, I'm a cartoon now. Because that's absolutely the feelings I wanted to conjure up and I love it so much thank you thank you for sharing this.

The army sweatshirt, has been one of my favorite things to write in this universe. Originally it was just meant to be a fun little smutty piece and as I wrote it, it took a life on its own and by halfway I realized oh this is going to be an emotional rollercoaster but no smut.

I'm speechless with how this message has left me and I just wanted to thank you for sending this. Work has been grueling and I've been finding myself with less and less time writing, especially as I have friends and family and other social events outside of my life that's picking up with Christmas season, and seeing this message put a big smile on my face.

[aronarchy]

If you have the time and spoons to do so, could you speak a little bit about the animal rights movement post you reblogged? I'm a bit confused about what all of it means and where you stand, I'm a bit clueless and don't really understand it ;^;

Post was this:

I also reblogged this around the same time (another iteration of the same post), and some time before that I reblogged this (the only other animal rights/welfare/liberation post I remember reblogging before my other recent reblogs of stuff; the rest of its notes unfortunately were full of speciesists too).

OP of the post, and the rest of speciesist Tumblr, are human(ity) essentialists and evaluate their ethical framework from arbitrarily assigning ethical value to humans and no one else, and applying double standards to nonhuman animals because of their biases. They don’t want to seem like an [Actual] animal abuse supporter though, so they do a cop-out by claiming well they support animal welfare, just not animal rights, relying on poor double-standard inconsistent definitions of “rights” in the meantime.

Their definition of “rights” is circular: “rights which humans have/deserve.” (Well why do only humans deserve rights, and not nonhuman animals? Because humans aren’t nonhuman animals and only humans deserve rights.) They can’t answer beyond that (logically, at least). They assume every animal rights supporter wishes to approximate human relations when fighting for nonhuman animal rights, which is an incredibly bad-faith and inaccurate assumption as well.

They argue from a bizarre view that “rights” and “welfare” are necessarily opposed/mutually exclusive. That autonomy and lack of abusive treatment equal allowing them to suffer/not giving them the care they need for their wellbeing. If you’ve done enough ableism/ageism discourse you’ll find that argument tired and heavily flawed and rather yikes too.

“Rights” apply to all sentient beings with the capacity to suffer (roughly speaking), and involve having them not suffer from unjust acts inflicted upon them by other sentient beings. These rights are not arbitrarily reserved only for certain types of sentient beings irrespective of their actual sentience/agency/ethical utility. A coherent animal rights/liberation view would require having an accurate map of animals’ psychologies and physical traits/experiences and how they feel/suffer, and acknowledge that in many aspects they are different from humans, but as ethical agents they do not arbitrarily “deserve to suffer” any more than we do (which is our shared core guiding principle).

Rights/liberation necessarily involves welfare, as one could argue that preventing someone from not-suffering as much as possible is also in contradiction with their rights, and as people with an additional transhumanist (or whatever is the nonhuman-animal-inclusive version) perspective we can plan ahead with the eventual goal of abolishing predation, hunting, euthanasia, etc. without the feared negative consequences to humans and other animals that would likely currently result given our current environmental status.

An anti-animal rights/liberation view rests upon several flawed premises and requires a great deal of limitations in imagination.

[cainightfics]

hii! excited for new chapter of trotw soon, i know you update slower than most but the wait is always so worth it with how long your chapters are! im curious: how do you find motivation to write so much? youre well known in 2 fandoms that are very small/inactive, so i imagine it might be hard to find motivation sometimes. i also write fic, but i get discouraged easily when i dont get many hits

thanks for the ask! im sorry i update slowly—i wish i could update more frequently, but i have 2 jobs and am also currently a student, so i dont always have a lot of time. i like doing longer chapters because, like you said, it makes the long wait easier to bear for anyone reading, but also because i feel like i plan the plot more carefully this way, if you know what i mean? with longer chapters, i can sort of think of them as episodes, so 1) each chapter progresses the plot, and isn't just fluff and 2) some new milestone is reached relationship wise. like in the last chapter, for instance, it starts with tyrell and elliot in bed, and tyrell internally complaining about how un-affectionate elliot is. then tyrell does a crazy stunt to get elliot to admit he cares about tyrell (ie, threatening to shoot himself in the head, lol), so that the chapter ends with tyrell and elliot in bed, again, but this time, elliot is rattled by what has occurred over the course of the chapter, and actually physically responds when tyrell makes a move on him.

as for motivation... idk, i actually just like writing a lot i guess, lol. i feel like i mentioned this once before on here, so im sorry if im repeating myself, but fanfic gives me something to think about during the boring parts of my day, when im on the bus or washing dishes or whatever. actually, significantly large portions of trotw have been written in my phones notes app during my morning commute.

i dont really care about getting lots of hits and attention for my fics. as long as a few people enjoy reading them, im happy. im very grateful that people take the time to comment and send me asks—seriously, it does make my day sometimes. but just knowing someone is out there reading my fics, maybe before bed after a long day, or during their lunch break at their job they hate, is good enough for me. i grew up on fan culture (ive been on this site since i was 11!) so fanfic has always been really special to me as a reader.

i know its easier said than done, but once you move past worrying about how many kudos/hits/comments you get, writing is way more enjoyable. i think capitalism often demands that we either monetize or quantify our hobbies. part of this has to do with the current climate of entertainment, which i see people often refer to as the "attention economy." getting lots of hits/kudos = success, because enough people cared about your fic to invest their attention into it, when so many other entertainment options are available. to me, this isnt the point of fanfic. i feel like fic is about community. being passionate enough about something that you're inspired to create a derivative work, then share it with others, with no attempts to earn profit or fame involved, is a very special thing these days, when we're made to believe all activities should have the end goal of making money. i think everyone who wants to should write fanfic, even if they think theyre bad at it, or worry that nobody will read it. being creative is always good for you.

anyways, thanks as always for reading my fics! im happy youre enjoying them. and good luck in your own writing, too!

[nervousmistycat]

tag game time!!

Disclaimer: I'm bad at saying stuff so the answers are gonna be a bit short and maybe weird? idk

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship? uuuh yeah? kinda? my qpp is so awesome so yeah

02) What was your dream growing up? idk, at first I wanted to be a therapist and stuff, then a designer for many stuff, and now I'm just here

03) What talent do you wish you had? doing everything right the first time, cause I've quit so many hobbies for the sole reason I wasn't excellent first try lol

04) If someone bought you a drink what would it be? probably coffee? or a matcha drink. Actually, now that I think about it, my beloved once bought me my favorite drink from my fav place unprompted so yeah.

05) Favorite vegetable? uuuuh, first that comes to mind is broccoli

06) What was the last book you read? I was about to start a series but I already forgot the titles so that's fun

07) What zodiac sign are you? taurus I'm pretty sure

08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? only the basic earring ones, I want more piercings, still not sure about which tattoos specifically but i do want some

09) Worst Habit? everything lol

10) What is your favorite sport? I don't play sports, but to watch it would be ice skating

11) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude? honestly, kindof pessimistic but i would say its more of a realistic one

12) Tell me one weird fact about you. I'm pretty sure I have a shit ton of health problems but going to the doctor in general makes me have anxiety attacks so I won't go willingly LMAO

13) Do you have any pets? MY DUDE!!!!! he's just a little guy who has no thoughts (yorkie dog)

14) Do you think clowns are cute or scary? I think they are just there, but some of them have some amazing makeup skills (I could never)

15) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be? I just want to be a racoon or a cat.

16) What color eyes do you have? very dark brown

17) Ever been arrested? not yet.

18) Bottle or can soda? cans, so i can take the opener thing off the top and collect it.

19) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it? just put it into savings cause I'm too indecisive to use it on anything instantly

20) What's your favorite place to hang out at? idk, probably in my egg chair so

21) Do you believe in ghosts? i belive they are just little guys

22) Favorite thing to do in your spare time? nap

23) Do you swear a lot? sometimes? its kinof weird because sometimes i'll be like a sailor but other times i forget those words exist

24) Biggest pet peeve? being a bigot

25) In one word, how would you describe yourself? myno

26) Do you believe/appreciate romance? i read a lot of fanfiction so

27) Favourite and least favourite food? lagasnga or however that's spelt and least is onions (the texture BLEGH)

28) Do you believe in God? i think it would be funny that every single one of them is in a shared space, so all religions are kindof right and wrong at the same time

29) What makes you happy: my friends

30) Currently listening/the last thing you listened to: heatwaves LMAO (I swear it's ironic)

31) Favorite place to spend time: idk, my phone?? dont really have a physical place

32) Favorite lyric: you know the one from the crane wives, curses

33) Recommend a film: uuuh, idk the truman show?

34) Recommend a book: THE LUNAR CHRONICLES

35) Recommend a band, a song, or album: uuuh crywank is good

36) Recommend a TV show: genloss

37) Where are you from, and do you still live there? Where have you lived? im in the same place ive always been

38) Do you have any pets or animals in your life? How did you find/get them? ma dog, we adopted that guy from a friend of my father

39) What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten? idkk ants? dirt? sand?

40) How did you 'find' fandom? wellll, i was on amino

41) Make a list of 5 things that you see without getting up. my bolillo purse, a creeper, a garfield plusie, a slinky and a ball

42) How do you style your hair? i just hope it looks good when i wake up

#tag games