#im still not much of an artist i only draw like once every two months
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intotheelliwoods Ā· 7 months ago
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Gonna ask this to a few people that inspire me, but how do you take inspiration from things without feeling like whatever you make is just bad in comparison? Or like a downgraded version of the thing(s) that inspired you?
(If this is too negative feel free to delete/ignore, I'm sorry)
Oh gosh this is such an interesting question since, I dont think I really have feelings of thinking my version is bad? Or that I am just a copy?
I am honestly just grateful my work became as popular as it is in the first place haha- low expectations going in to begin with. That and, I am very aware my art style isnt as defined and polished as other peoples styles, but I have come to terms with this! And hey the improvement in my own artwork over the past year is a massive trip if you go back through some of my older stuff- I am improving, slowly.
I mean, 2AL started by complete accident, and was "inspired" from me wishing the Leos from OMO or MNMC would hug it out already- but if you were to compare 2AL to one of those, they are very different. Hell even comparing OMO and MNMC, same starting point, but still very different.
I think my only advice to other people trying to make an AU is to try and find some core theme/idea and work around that, rather than gather a bunch of little things from other sources you like into a big pile. Find some key message to start up a base with.
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genericpuff Ā· 1 year ago
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I followed artsangel since her previous comic immaterial. I have to say she IS talented and has the skills. But her style is verrrrry time consuming and she would only update every 2 weeks. I used to study her art a lot because I was always impressed by it, and Im fairly certain it did not look like like that when it was on canvas. I used to see her progresses on her stories and she uses a lot of assets and predrawn faces to keep her consistent pixar look. The faces were less uncanny and more expressive. Now the eyes are all wonky and displaced.
I think she may have used ai to polish her panels. Perhaps the workload proved too much, or maybe she was feeling insecure. I was concerned when she got picked up by webtoon because I could tell it would be difficult for her to keep up the schedule. Ai is super powerful but its not powerful enough to make a COMIC, not even consistently. She probably using it as an enhancer to her already great skills. A shame though, she doesnā€™t need it.
Also I think the reason her preproduction period was so quick is because she was highly prepared before launch. She already has multiple comics under her belt and webtoon probably didnā€™t need to change much. Im sure she just reused her canvas comic for her reboot and built a buffer in the meantime.
Having to meet deadlines can definitely be a reason but not an excuse IMO.
One creator I can think of who has a similar style (albeit in black and grey) is figmentforms, creator of A Tale of Two Rulers.
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Updates are slow, she posts maybe a new page once a month, the art is gorgeous but it's clear it takes her time. It's a free to read comic. It's worth the wait.
That said, if she wanted to make her updates more frequent, I wouldn't blame her at all for utilizing new tools and methods to do so - but it wouldn't justify her in using AI tools that are stealing other people's art.
There are loads of shortcuts that artists already use that are fine because they're still genuinely handcrafted. 3D models, overlay textures, blur effects, etc. are all tools that artists use to help speed up the drawing process and were made by hand.
And beyond that, the need to make the process more efficient isn't a crime, but it's in how you do it. You can use these tools irresponsibly or at the cost of your own comic's quality. Case in point, Lore Olympus and Let's Play, which are both godawful in how they implement 3D backgrounds and stock images:
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Creating comics is finding a balance between efficiency and quality, not sacrificing one for the other and using it as justification to avoid criticism for that sacrifice.
If Sarah Ellerton was using AI based on her own art and being honest about it, I don't think anyone would be nearly as upset. It might prompt a debate over what's ethical in the world of comics - whether or not it's right for consumers to pay for a product that's being churned out of an AI prompt - but at least it wouldn't be theft and it would probably just be there as an aid to an artist who's been doing this for 20 years and had to find a way to make the process more efficient. I think AI can be used as a productive tool if it's implemented responsibly and without being at the cost of another artist's work.
The issue is that 1.) Sarah is being VERY suspicious over the whole thing which leads us to believe that she's NOT using ethical AI assistance, and 2.) there's a VERY clear distinction near the end of her previous comic, Immaterial, where you can basically tell when she adopted AI. The main character Alex, for example, literally became a whole other person.
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This is a common problem for AI coloring prompts, a LOT of them are bad at rendering darker skin tones (I think I mentioned this in my last post, but I literally got to playtest AI coloring tools from WT's a couple years ago, and they could NOT figure out darker skin tones, any dark colors that were put down were assumed to be shadows so characters just looked like white characters with the curtains pulled over their face).
She just looks like a SamDoesArts poster girl now. Everything unique about her has been stripped away and you can see this transition in the final page of Immaterial and the first episode of Quantum Entanglement:
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None of it feels like organically her, it feels like a cheap machine reproduction.
I don't doubt that this person has evolved a lot as an artist or that her older work was genuinely her, she's clearly got a lot of skill that only someone who's been drawing comics for years would gain.
But it's clear somewhere along the way she succumbed to insecurity or stopped caring enough to start using AI to do the heavy lifting. I mean honestly, her work from before was fine! So I don't see why she would be using it for 'polishing', there are so many ugly ass webtoons on the platform so even the art from Immaterial - even if she had to simplify it a bit more to make it easier to meet deadlines - would likely be a refreshing change of pace.
But the way she's utilized AI here, I was quicker to assume Sam Yang drew Quantum Entanglement when I first saw it.
And it is a shame, because, as you said, she doesn't need it. Her art is perfectly capable on its own and while I can understand her need to make the process more efficient, there are better ways to do that than using AI that's clearly ripping off other artists and then lying about it. It's a shame she'd put her reputation on the line as a seasoned artist just to meet Webtoons' stupid deadlines. Like, how can it be worth it?
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theblazewolf Ā· 4 months ago
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Blaze Midyear Evaluation 2024
Alright its the middle of the year. Let's discuss somethings to clarify how I want to plan out the next few months in this rare Official Blaze Silverwolf Blogpostā„¢ where I'll give a short introduction about myself to new followers, discuss my art goals, and what I'll do with my current posting manners.
Blaze 101 A comprehensive repost of a tweet I made a few days ago, hereā€™s a short intro and the websites that I frequent.
Iā€™m Blaze, old enough to exist. A furry artist in law school too. Weird huh?
My main hobbies include playing games like Cities Skylines 2, Guild Wars 2, and Fortnite, playing instruments, and drawing. Iā€™ve been at it for 10 years and currently looking for ways to tell stories through other mediums.
Not all my art is being posted on twitter though! Iā€™ve been posting my art on other sites for archiving reasons or because twitter recently has been on a downturn.
deviantArt, for art posted from 2014 until May 5, 2024.
Cara, for all art posted starting 2024.
Tumblr, for art posted from 2015.
I also hang around bluesky, and have been tending to use that for a while now as a main social media site. Just like a sticky situation, my time is divided between the two. But (as much as possible), the silly text posts on bluesky get mirrored over to twitter (or the other way around). This ensures you all get the best ā€œblazexpā€ ever.
You wonā€™t have to wonder what username to find for those sites, since I use only one username: itsdablazewolf
For those who want to get pinged every time I post art, I also have my discord server and my telegram channel.
You can find the links to those at the front page of my carrd here: https://itsdablazewolf.carrd.co/
Current art goals Off to the subject matter of this post, recently been in a (forced) state of reflection. Recently Iā€™ve been posting finished poses once a week. This was to keep an online presence at the same time trying to keep some standard of quality Iā€™ve been satisfied with. For the past few days, I feel like my art could be pulled up a little bit higher.
Ok, it's hard to put that feeling into words, so Iā€™ll take a chart from the internet.
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https://www.deviantart.com/shattered-earth/art/Art-Cycle-329593292
Here I am. I'm on an ā€œart lowā€! This means I see things in my art which were once perfect, but now sees them as an opportunity to learn from and improve more. (Something something anatomyā€¦ perspectiveā€¦ things I keep putting off because Iā€™m too scared to get through lol)
There is an inspiration board just floating around for me and my artistic endeavors and I believe it is time for me to hunker down and focus on improving instead of finding ideas, half-making paintings, just to post something every week. Yall can handle me slowing down on finished pieces right? Right? :)
Once-a-week posting This means that the sacred time of posting on Sunday (Philippine šŸ‡µšŸ‡­ time) will be adjusted. Wonā€™t be posting finished pieces as much while I try to learn the tips and tricks of making better art. Think of it like I'm going to school and social media (specifically, posting finished art pieces) is at a lower priority right now.
So please expect less background pieces and more chicken scratchy drawings for now. Occasionally some pretty finished work will pop out now and then, but I donā€™t want to get ahead of myself. Think of it like a house renovation. You can still use the house, there will be some growing pains and ugly spots. But when its finished, itā€™ll look a lot better for the long term (hopefully!)
Tl;dr - Blaze is going to focus on learning how to improve art over creating art for social media.Ā 
This has already happened before, but this is the first time Iā€™ve explicitly announced it.
Commissions? I will try to open commissions before my semester resumes. It's a goal this summer to get through one batch of commissions. Price point will still be the same, and slots will probably be around 3-4. Lets see!
Tl;drs Hi im blaze.
I have art goals. I will pursue these art goals over posting art like before. I will also open commissions before my semester starts.
Ok bye :D
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catpulets Ā· 2 years ago
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ITS 11:53 IM NOT LATE!!!!!!Ā 
happy birthday to my favorite puzzle-wearing cardgame twink <3
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silverdelirium Ā· 3 years ago
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STICKY WASHING MACHINE | D.M
summary: draco fucks scorpiusā€™ nanny on the laundry room
warnings: breeding kink, rough sex.
ā€”ā€”ā€”
ā€œso do you accept?ā€ asked draco to the girl who only stared at him with mouth slightly agape. ā€œi-i mean i guessā€ she replied, not meeting his eyes.
ā€œsee you on monday thenā€ nodded draco and turned on his heel, walking away.
y/n really didnā€™t know how they ended up on the topic of her being draco malfoyā€™s sonā€™s nanny. it really wasnā€™t much work, a three year old baby just needed attention, food and sleep. but still, me out of all people? she thought, why did i even agree?
but here she was, beaming at the sight of scorpiusā€™ new drawing which consisted on dracoā€™s exaggerated tall figure, y/n and scorp. she sometimes felt bad that astoria was never in the picture, in every sense. she had left draco after scorpius turned 3 months old and never came back, draco explained this when they first reencountered, apparently it never really affected him. considering it was an arranged marriage.
ā€œwow baby this is so good, i bet youā€™re gonna be an artist some day!ā€ you exclaimed at him. he giggled and turned pink but a loud yawn cut his smile off. ā€œi think itā€™s time for your nap, come onā€ she said, standing up and dusting off her skirt, scorpius holding up his arms.
y/n settled scorpius on bed and he was asleep in seconds, she chuckled and just snuggled the blanket closer to him. her eye caught a peek of scorpiusā€™ laundry basket. sure, she was just a nanny that was supposed to take care of the child and that was it, the clothes were the elfā€™s work. but scorpius was terrified of them so draco took care of his clothes, y/n decided to just take his clothes to the laundry room and throw them inside the washing machine.
as y/n made her way to the laundry room, draco came through the fireplace that was at the whole other wing of the manor, making y/n unconscious of his presence.
draco gave a big sigh and immediately entered the kitchen for a glass of wine, opening up the cabinet that had one of the bottles opened already, courtesy of dracoā€™s previous stress.
he knew scorpius must be asleep, taking notice of the silence that resonated through the manorā€™s atmosphere. in his midst of thinking, a few drops spilled from the rim his cup when he inclined it too harshly, making them spill on his white shirt. draco gave a groan at this and threw his head back.
narcissa always told draco that it was better to immediately wash clothing items if he ever spilled something on them. so he grumpily made his way to the laundry room.
as he got closer he could hear shuffling of clothes and a low humming, eventually stopping at the doorway to catch sight of y/n bent over, placing small clothing items into the washing machine. he went wide eyed at the peak he caught of her lace pink panties, cunt perfectly outlined.
draco was frustrated, sexually more than ever. he always found y/n hot, even in hogwarts, he remembers having a huge crush on her during fourth and fifth year, but they never really talked except for the polite helloā€™s and brief conversation when they were partnered in class.
right now, all the past emotions were coming back. and he wanted nothing more than to fuck her like he never did to a woman before. for hours and hours until she turned into nothing but a blabbering mess.
y/n eventually straightened up and went to pick more clothes, but she was met with a paralized draco on the doorframe.
ā€œoh- hello draco, i didnā€™t know you were backā€ she saluted politely, going back to scorpius small basket that was placed on top of the dryer.
draco was snapped out of his trance at her voice, he swallowed hard before responding, ā€œevening, just came to- uh put this in the washing machineā€ he gestured to his shirt, making her look at his chest but eventually trailing down to his very apparent bulge.
he saw how her eyes went wide but she said nothing and just gulped and nodded, gaze not meeting his.
the laundry room really wasnā€™t that big, making it hard for draco to pass y/n to go to the washing machine that was placed next to the dryer. but he still came in contact with her. his clothed cock pressing perfectly into her ass, a small gasp escaping her while draco grunted at the friction.
they both stilled.
y/n was the first to turn around, groin now pressing into her front, he was breathing heavily. and like magnets they connected together, tongues exploring each otherā€™s mouth. dracoā€™s hands rubbing her ass, down until the back of her thighs were in his large hands. he tapped them lightly, signaling her to jump, which she obliged instantly and jumped, draco hoisting her onto the washing machine.
he disconnected their lips to travel down to her neck, a small whine escaping her when he found her sweet spot. draco absolutely devouring the skin and littering it with purple hickeys. he eventually pulled away to take a good look at his little piece of art.
y/n brought him back into a heated kiss while unbuttoning his shirt, his own hands finding way to the hem of hers. once he shrugged off his shirt he helped her pull hers off, throwing it onto the floor. he pulled away from the kiss once again to look at her soft mounds that sat perfectly in a bra, he groaned at the sight as his cock twitched on his trousers.
ā€œcan i take this off sweet thing?ā€ he asked, tone low as he hooked a finger on the bra strap.
y/n eagerly nodded, draco wasting no time and unclasping the bra in a quick motion, disregarding it to the side, mouth immediately attaching to her nipple while his hand toyed with the other. she gave a moan at this breathing heavily and leaning back on her palms, panties soaked and pussy throbbing.
draco kissed his way down to her stomach, dragging her skirt down until it hit the floor. he stepped back and admired with pure mesmerization at y/nā€™s form, tits with perked up nipples, dampened panties and breathing hard. ā€œlook at my pretty princessā€ he said, unbuckling his belt and lowering his pants low enough so his dick popped out.
she went wide eyed for the second time that evening at his size. draco was much bigger than anyone she had ever been with and he was just a very big person in general, she wasnā€™t sure she could take him all.
draco stroked his cock up and down slowly, tip red and leaking with pre-cum. he got closer to her and moved her panties to the side, eyes glinting when he saw her bare cunt, dripping.
ā€œso wet babyā€ he said as he passed two fingers over her folds, y/n shuddering while he brought them up to his mouth and hummed at the taste, watching her face heat up.
ā€œtaste so good tooā€ he growled, inching his face closer to her and leaning their foreheads together while his fingers plummeted themselves slowly into her, a loud moan escaping her lips.
he started moving them at a slow pace, almost torturous. watching intently as she released small whimpers and moans, his cock twitching every now and then.
he started scissoring his fingers inside of her, going faster. ā€œah! yes draco right thereā€ she moaned out when he curled his fingers, touching that spongy spot inside her. ā€œyeah? think you can take my cock now?ā€ he questioned.
ā€œyesā€ she replied quickly, pussy clenching at the thought of having him inside her, finally.
he seemed to notice this and chuckled, removing his fingers and dragging them to his cock once again, coating it with her juices. he guided it to her entrance and drenched the tip with her arousal, making y/n buck her hips up and whine.
ā€œsh sh sh, now be patient little girlā€ he warned, fingers lightly tapping her clit, making her jolt and quickly shut up as she waited in anticipation.
draco entered y/n slowly with a groan, a strangled moan leaving her throat. he let her adjust to his size for a few moments before starting out on a decently fast pace, making her throw your head back and release several moans the faster he went, breasts bouncing everywhere, much to dracoā€™s delight.
he settled for a brutal pace that had the washing machine shaking, watching her eyes go crisscross when he reaches to rub her clit.
ā€œfuck baby look at this pretty pussy squeezing me, so fucking tightā€ he groaned, looking down at her juices dripping out, thighs glistening. ā€œyou have no idea how many times iā€™ve dreamt about thisā€ he said, voice strained. she hummed in pleasure as she wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him down to another steamy kiss, he greedily ate every moan she made, her legs starting to tremble.
ā€œfuck baby im closeā€ he said when she pulled away for breath. ā€œme too!ā€ she replied, his thumb assaulting her clit harsher.
ā€œyeah? gonna cum all over me? and then let me put my fucking cum inside you until your fucking pregnant?ā€ he teased, moving his hands to grip her ass, y/n gave a loud moan in response and rapidly nodded, orgasm right at its peak. ā€œfuckfuckfuck yes draco!ā€ she screamed as she came, legs completely shaking and letting that coil snap while he fucked her faster, riding out her high while chasing his.
ā€œshit, gonna cum so hard inside you and give you my kids princessā€ he groaned, his thrust sloppy when his orgasm hit him, releasing a loud moan as he came.
after they both calmed down from their highs he sighed in pleasure and looked down to her puffy cunt, he pulled out slowly and watched as her pussy spurted out both cums. he collected some on his fingers and held them up to y/n.
she opened her mouth and kept eye contact as she sucked on them, humming at the taste like he had done previously, making his once soft cock perk up immediately. she was gonna be the death of him.
she giggled at his reaction and got off the, now sticky washing machine due to their arousal on it, leaning her top half over it and arching her back. dracoā€™s mouth agape at the view.
ā€œround 2?ā€ she taunted.
but right as draco was about to fuck her into tomorrow, a small paddle of feet could be heard in the distance with a faint ā€œdaddy? y/n?ā€.
ā€”ā€”ā€”
part two
šŸ·: @spencervera @methblinds @marrymetheonott @adrianscumslut @wh0re4blaise @turn-to-page-394-please @fredshufflepuff @malfoysbiitch @saggyb1lls @helleli @metaraxia @daddybutmakeitagirl @dracomalfoys-wh0re @dlmmdl @fleursbabe @riddleswh0r3crux @lolooo22 @darlingmalfoy @littlemissnoname13 @i-love-scott-mccall @underappreciated-spoon-321 @steveharringtonswhore @dracosafety
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kriimhild Ā· 2 years ago
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Im asking as anonymous because im have social angsiety and this is the only way i feel i can remotly do it i have debated around a month of how to just go about talking about this and today i tryed to join the security breach show server on discord and imiditly left cause of how scared i got i havent posted my own stuff on my blog bevause im scared and just wanted to know....how the heck do you do it how the heck do you have the courage to do what you do? Heck im trying to write i fan fiction only to scrap it like once every two days....
It's something that artists have to learn (if they want to). In order for people to remember you, they have to know you. And the easiest way to do that is to publish. I see a lot of people afraid to publish, and mostly because they're afraid of disappointment. The negative feedback they might get. All I can always say is think about what could happen. I've never written next to my drawings that I am in a developing phase, because I'll always be in a developing phase. Even now. But if you feel safer that way, Feel free to make a fine print stating that you are a beginner. But never write something like "I know I'm suck. Don't look at it, I'm so terrible." If someone still says it sucks, give a big, thicc shit. As long as they can articulate what they don't like about our art, we should be happy with that, because it smells like a constructive criticism, which is very important in development. And if all you get is "lol you suck, your art's suck!" kind of message, thenā€¦wellā€¦what do you do with that? Delete the hell out of it and ignore. Someone's not paying attention to what their kid's doing again. At the first hand, you work for your own entertainment. There'll be people who love you and protect from any bully. You know, one of the hardest things about being an artist is learning to hold up your middle finger when you need to. I'll tell you smth. My partner's one of the most serious critics I know. He looked at my recent animation and said it had little to do with the lyrics. Ngl, I felt like shit. It wasn't the art the main problem, but the fact that I can't English properly and I'm listening to the rhythm, because I'm an instrumental person. For almost two weeks I've been trying to figure out how the two are related. If it doesn't work out, I'll just do it the way I originally planned. The audience will decide if they like it. If not, I'll think about my next clips. Do whatever you want, it's your imagination, your hand, your pen.
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(I found this on Twitter, and I love it) We try to keep the server safe and clean, and the whole staff puts a lot of work into making sure that everyone's comfortable and has a good time in the community. It's not easy, because every day more people join and it's harder and harder to keep an eye on everything. Nevertheless, we're trying. If someone behaves rudely, we'll look at them with an angry-mom looking. I think the server is a safe place for a young, fresh newcomer to get to know people. We can't look after artists one by one, but we try to give out support and advice as much as we can. I don't know how much this message has helped, but I hope that I've encouraged you to share whatever you have with the world.
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franeridart Ā· 4 years ago
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Anon said: Are you still into krbk? I noticed you haven't draw them a lot recently (I don't mean to pressure you, I was just wondering)
I still very much am!!! but a convergence of unrelated happenings (my focus being unusually scattered, lack of general motivation, them not having interacted much in the manga lately, my having pulled out of the fandom a little for a bunch of reasons, having gotten into a lot of new things I want to make a lot of stuff for ??) had my output of stuff for them/inspiration related to them die down a lot ): I miss them though, I should fill a page with doodles of them one of these days... well, I havenā€™t drawn much in genereal lately, so maybe letā€™s start first with fixing that haha
Anon said: Fun Fact : In smash bros ultimate there are spirits with octopath traveler and they're in pairs and guess what ? Alfyn and Therion are together :3
I KNOW!!!!!! It makes me so emo Iā€™m a bundle of feelings theyā€™re soulmates I tell youuuuuuuuuuu ;;A;; (little inconsequential things making me a mess, whatā€™s new xD) - another fun fact is that hā€™aanit and ophilia share one too!! and I ship them too!! and cyrus and tressa share one as well, and theyā€™re my brotherā€™s mains in his save! A series of delightful little coincidences haha
Anon said: Will you be drawing more Jujutsu Kaisen? I love your art sm and I would love to see more!!!!
Right now I feel like I want to spend the next ten years drawing these kids, so I sure hope so! But as I said my focus has been very scattered for the past three or so months, so I canā€™t promise anything ): letā€™s both enjoy it while it lasts haha
Anon said: You are my emotional support artist. I check back every once and a while and BOOM. Serotonin.
Youā€™re too kind!!!! But thank you, Iā€™m glad I can make you feel better! :D
Anon said: i'm super new to your art (and mha) and i just wanted to say your krbk stuff is just !!!!!!! it makes me so happy and makes my poor jaded heart feel something and it's just all around incredible!!!
Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!! Iā€™m glad you like my way of portraying the kids!!!!
Anon said: Iā€™m about to cry Iā€™ve spent an hour looking though your bnha tag for that lil comic where Kiri hugs Baku and. It. Sent. Me. Back. To. The. Top. I didnā€™t even get to finish reading it. Iā€™m so upset. So. So. So. Upset.
(same) Anon said: OH MY GOSH IT KEEPS SENDING ME TO THE TOO I HATE MOBILE AND LOVE YOU I LVOE YOU BUT THIS WEBSITE IS K I L L I N G ME I JIST WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS AS KIRI ATTEMPTS TO HUG BAKUGOU BUT NOOOO, AN HOUR OF MY TIME ISNT ENOUGH SAYS THE TIME STEALER
(samesame) Anon said: I. Found the hug thing. On Pinterest. In. Five. Seconds. I hate life but also it was really cute. Thank you but seriously I hate this website
The saga hahaha sorry anon I couldnā€™t get to you before you went out of your mind trying to find it, I got the asks in the middle of the night! Glad you could find it, though Iā€™m kinda sad you had to look on pinterest for it (...sad it is on pinterest at all tbh) here it is anyway, if this is the one you were talking about! you really went back in the years for this one huh
Anon said: So for that thing that you made a w h i l e ago where Bakugou ruffles Kirishimaā€™s hair, right? So I imagine Kiri is like w h a t and calls over Mina or Denki or Sero or all of them or something like that and tells them and is freaking out and theyā€™re like ā€œhe wasnā€™t in the right mindset, you know he sleeps at 8:32ā€ and make a joke out of it as Kiri is freaking out. And Kiri is freaking out soooo much as they are crying laughing on the floor at Bakugouā€™s sleeping schedule.
hahaha Iā€™m sure he must have freaked out on them at some point after that, and bakugou must have done the same (probably with jirou, less likely but more hilarious with todoroki or tokoyami haha) - though, the original idea came from a bigger one where the scene in the comic didnā€™t bring them anywhere closer to getting together (or figuring out theyā€™re into each other, for the matter lmao idiots) maybe one day Iā€™ll get back on that >:]
Anon said: In your comments, you said ā€œat this point my hands will never forgetā€ and I had a nozaki-kun memory float into my head, imagining him sick and trying to make his deadline xD yes muscle memory
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anon you have no idea how often I think about that hahaha yes, I say my hands wonā€™t forget but we all know thatā€™s exactly how itā€™ll end at some point lol
Anon said: dang this happens all the time like I follow someone for their bnha content and then like two months after following them I find out they used to make yowapeda content and im just sitting their like dang thats wild because bnha and yowapeda are like the only two animes I watch
ANON!!!! HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Always so nice to find other ywpd fans!!!!!!!! Sorry Iā€™m not making art for it anymore (for now) but despite my sister insisting I read the manga already Iā€™ve been putting it off......for years lol but itā€™s on my reading list!! So maybe Iā€™ll get back on it at some point!
Anon said: FRAN!!!!!! i love ur art so much and im trying to buy ur products on redbubble and i geniunely cant decide what to get!!!!! i tired asking my friend but she doesnt know which one either hahahahhahah ig i just wanted to send this because i really appreciate u and u are very talented. im sending u lots of high vibrations and loveā¤ļøšŸ§”
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!! It means so much to me that you guys are still buying my stuff (TTATT) I should...........seriously update it..........gomen m(._.)m
Anon said:YES YES YEEES MORE ALFYON ON THE WAYYYYYY šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’– They're both the cutest really their ship is the beeestĀ  Try reading some the alfyon fanfics if you have some time, they're really good ! The one i really recommend you is Crismonberries, blackberries by court_court on Ao3 !Your art is the best ever can't wait to see more octopath !!šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–
Anon thank you SO MUCH for suggesting that fic to me I!!!!!!!!!!!! loved it so much I deep-dived into it and spent two straight days reading it itā€™s such a gem!!!!! ;;; bless you
Anon said: Have you watched Fullmetal Alchemist?
Hell yeah! Only Brotherhood though. I read the manga too tho!!
Anon said: Have you read Noragami? Itā€™s one of my favourite manga, and the anime isnā€™t half bad either (still waiting for s3 tho lol) anyway itā€™s really good, concept-wise itā€™s similar to Soul Eater, I totally recommend
I watched the first season back when it aired! Itā€™s not really my thing though ): feels a bit sad in that very specific way that always ends up just making me miserable as I keep reading............................... sorry
Anon said: I will never not be in love with your art. Everytime I'm feeling down and/or missing the boys I scroll through your krbk tag and it reminds me exactly of why I love them so much and I'm so thankful for that. Your brand of krbks is the one I love the most and honestly thank you so much for all your marvelous art of them and of other things as well because you art is just so pretty and I love seeing your ocs and other fandom art šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•
Anon I love you......................... ;;;;; thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me (oTT^TT)o<3
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peachy-inserts Ā· 5 years ago
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todoroki falling for someone/relationship hcs
request:Ā  may i request some headcanons of how shouto would fall in love and how would he act in a relationship?? šŸ„ŗšŸ„ŗ thank u!!
warnings: just cursing! a/n: sorry for uploading this so many times! i messed up the tags (and also, hello! i promise we arenā€™t dead) long post! more under the cut
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Shouto is a hopeless romantic at heart. Although itā€™s not something that crosses his mind frequently, whenever it does he finds himself daydreaming about the possibility of the perfect love interest as an escape from his mundane and repetitive life in which he feels trapped
Similar to Bakugou (Same prompt for him here!) I feel like Shouto would definitely fall in love with someone after learning how to trust them and interact with them rather than falling for someone after a couple meetings, he has to know you personally and on an emotionally vulnerable level before he would even consider the concept of something more; partly because of sheer embarrassment, the other from deeply routed trust issues
He would be best suited with someone spontaneous but respectful; someone who can break him free from the chains binding him to his career and future and expand his horizons and emotional capacity to levels nobody thought were ever possible. The way he acts around you is uncharacteristic of this terribly disturbed boy
Shouto realizing that heā€™s fallen in love with you will hit him hard and suddenly, knocking the air from his lungs and knocking him over onto his feet. Hopefully, youā€™ll be there to pick him up and make him see that maybe this wonā€™t be such a frightening experience, and that you can help him along the way
Heā€™s a very blunt yet dense person, which is shocking for someone of such quick wits and broad intelligence. Tease him about it and he will scowl at you, but give in and laugh as you both recount some of his most memorable moments. You paying attention to him, telling him your favorite times spent with him? Itā€™s an intoxicating liquid drug that he wants to drink up and bathe himself in in a lavish fashion
Coming to terms with the fact that heā€™s in love with you, someone heā€™s so close with is by far whatā€™s most difficult for him since he doesnā€™t know how to healthily process his own emotions, often times dismissing how he feels and letting it build up into an alcoholic cocktail of rage and self doubt
Without even realizing it, heā€™ll begin to cling to you. Youā€™re practically attached at the hip, and heā€™s so subtle about it and kind that it will take an incredibly receptive sense of the world around you to notice that heā€™s putting an increased amount of effort into spending as much time as possible with you
Hell, kudos to anyone watching the two of you who will see whatā€™s really happening. Heā€™s a very unpredictable person, and everyone would simply assume you two were impersonal friends simply trying to be polite and help each other
Shouto isnā€™t really someone who ever writes, but like I said he is a hopeless romantic. One way he finds to cope with his new and foreign feelings is by writing sappy poetry inspired by or even for you. Theyā€™re actually not too bad, but thereā€™s not a chance in hell that he would ever let you see them. Sometimes heā€™s so embarrassed to have done it that itā€™s incinerated on sight
I think Deku and him would be good, close friends, more so than what the series portrays. I like to think theyā€™re besties and im putting that here because im selfish and love their dynamic. Anyways, Shouto would nervously approach Deku and ask for his thoughts on his poems, wondering if you would appreciate them or find him strange for writing about you in such a manner
After months of hiding away and suddenly growing distant, he would finally decide that if he gets rejected, itā€™s at least better than living out his dreams through fantasies in the solitude of his own imagination. He would come out and say that he loved you to your face, and then should you reciprocate become a shy and nervous mess who canā€™t help but shudder at the sudden fluttering in his stomach
Shouto actually really likes to go out on dates! He prefers to take a gentlemanly approach to your outings, and growing up frequently attending formal settings is more than comfortable with going out to whatever high end event your heart may desire
Date nights are just for the two of you, and provide for him confirmation that youā€™re his and nobody elseā€™s; heā€™s the only one who gets to take you out and spoil you, the only one you will get ready for and the only one who will be there still at the end of the night to hold you tight
Not only that, but you have the opportunity to truly catch up and cast any other responsibilities to the side for a while. All that matters right now is the undeniable bond between the two of you, even if itā€™s only for a while. No matter how far apart you are, it canā€™t be broken by any amount of distance
Literally tell him to stop bringing you flowers; because of his mother, heā€™s always been particularly fond of them and their meaning, spending far too much time researching the symbolic truth behind every petal, and giving them to you for no special reason at allā€¦ far too frequently. This man is literally smothering you in carefully planned, sweet gestures
Please be patient with him. Afraid of losing you, he would actively try to change himself for the better so that he can become the person that he needs from you, since itā€™s only fair. Heā€™s insecure about his seemingly cold demeanor, and worries that you may leave him for someone who isnā€™t afraid to reach out when theyā€™re needing help, someone who isnā€™t broken and can take care of themselves without relying on you
This only feeds into his jealousy. Depending on the situation, he would most likely react one of two ways. If someone is hitting on you out of the blue, being rude and obnoxious, he would (again) be similar to Bakugou in that heā€™s immediately provoked and wonā€™t hesitate to throw punches without a single bit of remorse. If you have a relationship with someone he doesnā€™t like or feels threatened by, then he will try to ignore it despite the way it nags him day and night, spending his free hours sulking over it; yet not bothering to speak out, afraid he will take things too far and accuse you or someone else of things that arenā€™t there
Help teach him that there are levels of conversation, let him know itā€™s okay to argue and disagree sometimes. When commiting to a serious relationship with Shouto, it will undoubtedly benefit you to show him how to have a healthy discussion from opposing perspectives without becoming heated. He doesnā€™t want to be the way that he isā€¦ he knows no other ways, though
Once he gets over the initial shock of being with you, he really doesnā€™t mind PDA. Heā€™s not confident, but sure as hell not an ashamed person, either. He doesnā€™t mind to hold your hand in public or give you a chaste kiss on your forehead, perhaps even letting you rest your head on his shoulder
He would obviously wait a little before considering that you meet his family, that being a serious commitment. Him doing this definitely symbolizes his intense dedication to you and desire to stay with you for a long while. Itā€™s a big step for him given their relationships, so stick it through with him and offer him support
Heā€™s definitely spoken about you to his siblings and mother, though. Further into your relationship he wonā€™t hesitate to openly gush about you and the ways you make him feel things he never has before, and how he didnā€™t know feelings this intense were possible when it came to others; itā€™s unlike anything he ever expected, feeling as if his life is better than any artistic interpretation of romance
Iā€™m only gonna say this once so listen up. He is a Todoroki. He likes to feel as if heā€™s in control and protecting you, so one of his favorite things is to totally cage you with his body, so that the only thing keeping you shielded from the outside world is him and his loving embrace. Would absolutely randomly pick you up just to watch you squeal and jokingly try to push him away from you all while giggling as your face flushes pink
As for showing you off, he doesnā€™t really see that itā€™s necessary. What can I say, heā€™s a centered and simple guy. Heā€™s hella proud, but itā€™s not important to him that everyone knows just how lucky he is. He doesnā€™t need an ego boost, not when heā€™s got you to cherish. All that matters is at the end of the day heā€™s got you to himself
A great listener! Not because he doesnā€™t talk, heā€™s actually very engaged in your conversations. Shouto just genuinely appreciates all that you have to say and wants to know every detail you have to spare, often times wondering what the world is like from your perspective
Not too fond of pet names at first, but if you insist on it and start making cute nicknames for him heā€™ll cave in and do the same for you, eventually sometimes stuttering when he uses your real name because itā€™s become so foreign to him. Always bringing you up in conversations as ā€˜pumpkinā€™ or something personal to you, and then feeling the heat rush to his face when he realizes it
Ā Shouto is the type to want to move in together very soon; mans is committed for the long haul. Just for fun, would draw out floor plans with you and discuss the features your future home would have, with every intention of making every detail you offhandedly mention a reality
He loves it when you kiss his scar I donā€™t make the rules thatā€™s just how it is. He wants nothing more than to be smothered by you in love and affection, and your gentle pecks among his sensitive feature that represent so much horridness in his life are something that he lives for
Oh. Heā€™s really good at giving massages.
Ā»Ā»ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”-怀ā™”怀ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”-Ā«Ā« Like these hcs? Find the same prompt for:
hawks.
bakugou.
aizawa.
kirishima.
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hikari-writes Ā· 4 years ago
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ā…A Love Letter I Have to My Lovely and Beloved Friendsā…
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(I just know that 30 july was a national friendship day and today is like 31 july already at where I am but,,, just pretend that this is also for National Friendship Day šŸ¤”šŸ”«)
As you all know, it's been confirmed that I'll be going on a hiatus two days from now that I really don't know how long it will go on. So, with that in mind, I wished to leave this message to all the wonderful friends I've made while I was active here on Tumblr during quarantine.
I've started this writing blog a few months ago, to be precise, on May where life in quarantine was starting to become a norm. In the few months until now, I did my best to start writing and drawing more using all the free times that I have.
I wouldn't have expected this blog to grow so much in such a short time. To me, it was really mind blowing, seeing that there's a lot of other great content creators here on Tumblr. Yet, the 300+ people who stumbled upon my blog still decided to follow me.
I was really happy to have made many contents that I'm actually proud of posting. And I still can't believe there are people out there who love them. Seeing every one of your comments and reblogs and likes really, really, squeezed my heart and I couldn't be more thankful for your support.
And during these fun times, I was able to make friends with many amazing, talented, fantastic and all the good words I could find in the dictionary people on here. You all are a real gift to me and I hold you guys close to my heart.
I still can't believe I was able to befriend you guys though, like, y'all are so amazing and I was just here like squeaking my name to you like a shy mice lmao. =///= Anyways, thank you for all the good and fun times. Thank you for being with me and helping me with lots of things. Just, thank you for everything. (I'm writing this at 1am like it's sad hours yall I'm crying :')))
If you are ever feeling down, do not ever forget that, even if it's only me, I'll support you to the end of the world because you're just so amazing and fantastic. I love you and never let any hate that's thrown at you let you down because they aren't worth your time.
The people I'll be mentioning below are my dear friends or just people that I have been interacting with during the times I was online, little or not, I still consider you guys to be my friends (very self-proclaimed here sorry)and I'm still honoured by that fact.
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@your-local-bnha-writer -Bean, you and your posts are always so wholesome and cute and I love them. Keep being amazing, and we may not interact much, but I still appreciate every little convos we had. Also, wish you luck on tpn, that shit hurted :')
@identifybby -Liaaaa, omg im so v v grateful we became friends. You've helped me with a tons of things and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to me. You're just so amazing and thank you for always putting up with me, i love you sm.
@minteasketches -Mintea! You're such an amazing artist and I rlly enjoyed our conversations! You might not see this since you're off socmed but just wanna let u know that thank u for being my friends.
@yandere-of-your-dreams -Heyyy sis,, you're always such a sweet bean to me and showering me w love and i appreciate them, stay amazing and I'm sure you'll become an amazing writer.
@shotobabe -Ren, wifey, ilysm thank u for always being with me. You're such an awesome person and keep on being yourself. You're perfect and talented, don't let others tell you otherwise. AND while I'm gone, don't forget to drink lots of water okay? I won't be able to remind you while I'm on a hiatus, but please always remember to drink water. That'd be the first thing I'll ask you once I'm able to be online. And please try to eat more okay bb? I love u.
@takumipineapplexd -Taku! Amazing writer and amazing editor, yes I'm talking about you. You're amazing and keep on making cursed content and being crackhead, i love them.
@bnhabadass -We might not talk much, but I just want to let you know that you're so amazing and I look up to u v much. Literally had a heart attack when u commented on angel wings lmao.
@tomomoni -Mon, love, soft bean, I LOVE U. You've always been so wholesome and cute to every one of your followers and seeing ur interactions literally heals my heart. Your art is amazing so continue being amazing ilysm thank u for being an amazing advisor and listener, I'm v grateful for that. You have no idea how blessed I am to have you as a friend. Meeting you through turn on your airdrop's fanart was F A T E.
@kamabukokompachiro -First time u asked my permission to read my fanfic, I legit teared up. Thank u sm for asking, I couldn't be happier to know that my fic is worthy to be read over for a yt channel. Keep on being amazing and ily.
@kaminii -Kamiiiii, sweet child, you're always so matured and calm and I really adore and respect that part of you (unlike me im v childish and rash) You're an amazing writer and editor and ur aesthetic? 100/10. Love it. You're so talented despite being so young and I'm just, WOW. Ily and thank u for being friends w me. And please fix your sleeping schedule bb. It's rlly not good for your health, like please? Ily.
@katsucutie -I love you and your writing so v much, and I rlly enjoyed talking to you, discussing about Burn Book was rlly fun. I might not be able to know the ending since im gonna go on a hiatus but I'll be sure to catch up to it once im back. Keep being amazing and awesome.
@isolshi -CHERIE, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING. Don't be so insecure about your writing. They're amazing. And you're also one of the sweetest and cute person I've met here. I always love teasing you cause your reaction is always so funny and cute. Keep being awesome. And please, please, please get enough sleep and drink LOTS of water. I legit would cry if you don't drink more water cher.
@mirakeul -BIANCAAAAA LOVE YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND SWEET LiKE--- please, I love talking to you and thank you so much for always reminding me to eat. Your calligraphy and handwriting are awesome, shshh i don't take criticism. Never stop writing, I love them. And please never forget I love you and you're my best friend okay?
@roxybefab -You've always been the first to ask me to be on my taglist and I'm so v happy because of that. Thank you for everything, and keep on being awesome. You can do this, ily.
@princessofdawn718 -Talking to you about Hamefura has been so fun! I haven't talked w many ppl about isekai so im rlly glad I could talk about them w you. Katarina x nicol ftw! Thanks for talking to me, it was such a pleasure rlly.
@softkodzuken -Maam your writing is A M A Z I N G. I love anon sm and you're rlly so sweet for always replying to every single comment on them. Don't be so insecure about them, they're amazing and i will always stand by that point. Wishing you the best of luck for Undercover!
@lolitsleia -Your art is *chef's kiss* i love them so much, I still can't believe you hadn't had more recognition like why?? Ur oc alex is the cutest thing ever and i love her. Thank you again for drawing Yuki. She looked really beautiful and cute in your drawing.
@samanthaa-leanne -We may not talk much, but when you first followed me back, my heart goes B O O M. You're so amazing and keep being like that. And uh,, good luck with Violet Evergarden if you ever plan to watch it. Prepare a couple of tissue boxes....or dozens.
@miyumtwins -Fellow android users! I first saw you through Bean's post about a tag game and i was like *gasp* another androiders..! I swear that one time i was interacting w you, I didn't actually meant to go off anon,, yes im dumb lmao. Anyways, you're rlly amazing and I'm rlly honoured to be followed by you.
@kawasuno -Your smau? 100/10. Your sense of humour 100/10. They're just so perfect *chef's kiss* I love every one of your updates and they always managed to put a smile on my face, i was like, how did you do that? My sense of humour is nonexistant, teach me your ways sensei. But anyways, you're rlly amazing and awesome. Keep up w that.
@kukusbabe -Tsu, I've never said this, but it's you. It's always been you all along. What i mean is, I've followed you first (i knew u through zara's flopping server yeah!) And when i looked at my dash and saw all your interactions w your moots, despite me haven't legally started haikyuu yet, i decided to follow all of them, soooo if it's not for you, we may not have met each other. Everyone in the kita family, Tsu is the MVP here muah. Also your aesthethic and writing and everything is so kajsjhendnd amazing i LOvE---
@iwaixiumi -King Nami, you're so awesome and amazing,, and I'm really glad to be able to interact w you. All those songs you recommend? Yeah, I'm going to listen and love all of them, thank u so much for the recs. Keep being amazing and to everyone reading this, PLEASE INTERACT WITH KING NAMI MORE SHE DOESN'T BITE---
@shoutodoki -Hello, you're so amazing and talented and im just,,, kekkdjfjdj when you followed me--- and when u figured out i was the anon talking about oboro i was OAKSJEJDDJ please, i was so honoured u know, like ???? Anyways, keep on writing what you love and your art maam? THEY'RE AMAZING LIKE BOTH YOUR ART AND WRITING IS SO KAJSJDJDN pliS im so v honoured to be able to talk to you.
@lisarillia -Please excuse me while I go shout in the corner of how much i LOVE your arts. They're amazing and being able to talk to you was a real pleasure. Keep on doing what you love. They'll be amazing no matter what i swear.
@cutiedrawsbnha -Cutie, honey, you're amazing and your art is so cute! Don't let what haters said get to you. You're going to grow into an amazing artist. If you give in and listen to what they said, you're going to end up like what they said so ignore them honey! I believe in you so keep shipping izuocha, todomomo, and kamijirou and making arts. Lotsa love!
@lilikags -Heeyyyy you sweet cute innocent bean! Don't ever stop writing what you love, you'll grow into a big blog soon enough, before you know it. Just keep making what you love, and as time pass by, I'm sure there will be many people who will find appreciate everything you do. I'm always supporting you.
@baeshijima -SOPHHHHH YOU SWEET CUTE CINNAMON ROLL WAKATOSHI'S WIFE EYE--- You have NO idea how much i love you,, you're so sweet and I honestly don't know what did i do to deserve you. Srsly you're a blessing to me. Thank you for the sweet daily reminder in my inbox, i love each and every one of them. Keep being so cute and wholesome, love you.
@shinsuque -ANAAAAA Thanks again for the Bakugou's memes! I may not be able to do it before i go on a hiatus though *sobbing* Keep being so awesome! I love seeing all your interactions and you're so amazing i honestly don't know why you followed me----
@semiluvr -LYDIA *SOBBING* THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO THE KITA FAMILY. Even though we've known each other in less than a week, it already felt like I had known you guys for so long like whotttt. Keep being an amazing and sweet person ily muah
@dumbass-lev -MOMMY, MUI, ILY THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO SWEET YOU'RE AMAZING,,, u have no idea how happy (and also flustered) I am when i saw you asking you want to adopt me like,,, whot I've never been asked to be adopted online b4 so you asking that was a big surprise to me and just,,, remember that i love you and you're an amazing mommy. Hope i wasn't too much too handle as your child lol and thank u, for asking to invite me to the server. It has been a real pleasure to me to be there.
@pudding-head-kenma -DANIE!! We haven't talked much and I've only known you for a short time but I really love your detailed analysis. They're amazing and you're amazing. Thank you for being so sweet and cute. Ily.
@/šŸ¦‹ nonoi -šŸ¦‹ NONOIIII!!! IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY EMOJI ANON! I love you you're so sweet and bb please please please don't forget me id cry,,,
@astereim -Rein!!! I know we just talked and all but you seem to be a reaally cool and amazing person,, we might not be able to interact much since I need to go prepare things b4 i go on my hiatus though, but just wanna let u know that ily!
@tokoyamis-luv -please don't come for my neck i haven't been active on the server Lol but anyways, zara, you're amazing and your simping for Kurapika is always fun to watxh. Also all the lin manuel edits are *chef's kiss* we may not talk much but i was rlly honoured to be able to interact w you, even a little bit.
@engel-hageshii - YOU, MAAM are a literal angel, and your comments on my fics always managed to make me smile so much. I love you, please never stop being such a sweetheart.
@laylahoran -I've always loved and appreciate every comments you make. I'm v happy I was able to create a content that you can love. You and engel has been some of my firsts followers and I'm really blessed to have you two.
@oyasenpai -Diemmy! You're so sweet and cute and seeing your interaction w my moots (kami) was what made me follow you. Don't let what others said bring you down, okay? Just do what you want because there're always many people supporting you for it.
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Special message to the kita family server;
Meanwhile while you guys were talking about me there, I was just innocently scrolling through Tumblr, not knowing what kind of fate I'll be receiving šŸ‘šŸ‘„šŸ‘ No wonder I was sneezing so much šŸ¤§šŸ¤§šŸ¤§
So, I was just scrolling through the pinned messages and I saw tsu said "mui: can we invite hikari? Everyone here: kakskejdjdjdn" and i was just like,,, ??????? I wasn't expecting u guys to have that kind of reaction i--- yall have no idea how much i was grinning while I scroll through those messages. Thank you so much for inviting and accepting me, it's really fun to be with you guys and your crackhead energy šŸ„°šŸ„° Thank you to mui for suggesting you had no idea I was really really happy. šŸ˜­ Y'all are so amazing and sweet and cute and beautiful kakjdjdd
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To all of my dear friends that I've mentioned above, I LOVE YOU LOTS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO MET YOU GUYS. Quarantine time has been stressful for a lot of people, and Tumblr can sometimes (a lot of times) be kinda whack but I was really happy to met you guys during my time here. Our time together may have been short, but i feel like we've known each other for more than a year, no caps. I love you all very very much. Thank you for talking to me and befriending me. Remember to get enough sleep, drink lots of water, stay safe and healthy, eat enough meals and, take care of yourself. I love you guys.
And lastly, to everyone reading this, whether i know you or not, or interacted with you or not, or follow you or not, or you follow me or not, just REMEMBER that you are worth it and I love you. Keep on being awesome, and always remember to smile, laugh and live. Don't forget to always DRINK LOTS OF WATER, GET ENOUGH SLEEP, and EAT ENOUGH MEALS.
Signing off,
Hikari.
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fucker-anon Ā· 4 years ago
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Bloody Painter Headcanons
am i gonna write about helen even tho no one cares? fUCK YEA @creepy-bi-day hope you enjoy. Im still not a writer sorry :/. also my personal hcs, its okay to disagree. Also dark themes again.Ā 
Bloody Painter
Backstory:
was born on Oct 1st, 1980, fully name Helen Otis
mother is white, father is Japanese
is an only child. Helenā€™s parents had a very difficult time in getting pregnant like yeeeaaars (10 ish) and they also really wanted a girl. Like in their head, they would be getting a girl. and when they did get pregnant the ultra scan did show a girl. so they were in shock when a boy popped out.Ā 
they no likely. Since helenā€™s mom was a teacher, they decided to raise the boy as a girl and simply homeschool them until they had to go to college, once there they could simply transition into a girl. This is how they thought trans people were so they thought theyā€™ll do the same to get a girl (This was obliviously wrong)
so they tried to do that but mother couldnā€™t get the needed forms and paperwork to homeschool Helen so they had to go to school. so their parents decided the best thing to do was to make them as manly as possible in 6 months. so everything pink and girl (lots of which were comfort items like plushies, and art things) were thrown out in front of poor 6 year old Helen who didnā€™t understand what was happening. Helen couldnā€™t do art, couldnā€™t wear certain clothes, couldnā€™t say certain things. punishments werenā€™t physical but there was a lot of yelling.
around the 3 month before school started, their parents decided that maybe Helen should meet their grandparents (parents kept giving excuses why they couldnā€™t visit). everything was going swell until the grandparents on the fatherā€™s side asked why name their BOY a GIRL name. before the parents could say anything, helen saidĀ ā€œcause im a girl?ā€ ... yaaaa queerphobic grandparents and little helen didnā€™t get along. plus helen was white passing so asian grandparents blamed their mom.
parents cut contact with the grandparents, and yelled at helen a lot. (poor bby) this mental abuse continued over 3 months and caused helen to stop talking and start repressing a lot of his feeling which his parents encouraged causeĀ ā€œā€bOYs donT hAve fEeLinGsā€ā€
in school, the parents told the teacher that there was a mix up when filling out his name and that they should call him Otis. Of course one teacher messed up and called him Helen, and then they got a lot of comments form their peers, but they learned not to say that they were a girl at this point.Ā 
helen was lightly bullied for his name, and when they tried to tell a teacher they were told toĀ ā€œman up :))ā€Ā 
and so more repressing feelings
it wasnā€™t until middle school where someone (a kid who they later learned was named tom), stole and planted a watch of another girl into helenā€™s bag. This meant helenā€™s bullying got a lot worse. Before it was a comment here or there, now it was physical and a lot often. this is also when he began to develop symptoms of anxiety and depression.
he slowly became friends with Tom, who was also bullied a lot. But one day Tom took Helen to the roof where Tom confessed into planting the watch. Helen was very upset, and the two started to argue when Tom slipped off the edge, Helen tried to hold on to Tom, but Tom let go of his hand. Tom dead.
there was an investigation done, and Helen wasnā€™t in trouble as some students and teachers said how they saw him hold onto Tom. The school was given a speech about how bullying was bad, and tried to get things back to normal. Helenā€™s bully did die down, tho lots of ppl tried to spread rumors about how he pushed Tom.Ā 
his parents were more upset over how this would look and not about Helenā€™s mental health. Helen never told them about the bulling.Ā 
When high school started, the bullies acted as if nothing happened. and on Halloween, Helen snapped and killed 5 of the main bullies. He was caught and sent to a mental hospital.Ā 
so you think that finally, Helen can get the help they need right :)). ahhah no....
so the hospital did diagnose Helen with depression and a mild case of anxiety, but basically put them on pills. the actually therapist had a very hard time getting Helen to open up. this is because the on their first session helen started with his gender identity, and the therapist told himĀ ā€œlook you are biologically a boy, so you must be a boy :))ā€ and when they said that sometimes he felt more comfortable when they were more fem, they was told that was wrong.Ā 
so helen shut up like a clam cause they did not feel safe with this guy
at least they learned how to somewhat manage their depression and anxiety :)
once helen turned 18 he was released, and Helen decided to be an artist and not kill. but he saw another one of his bullies and said fuck it.
slender saw and was likeĀ ā€œi like this child. imma adopt themā€
and Helen joined the mansion
Personality:
look Helen was mocked and betrayed by basically every person in their life, they donā€™t trust ppl
they are nice, but they donā€™t new people
if youā€™re nice theyā€™ll be nice, if youā€™re mean theyā€™ll be mean, simple
cold hearted, look if you are neutral to them and get run over by car they wont do anything. the world was shit to them, theyā€™re shit back.
quiet. like Helen could be inches away and you still wonā€™t hear them
buttttt if you get close (good luck) you see a passionate, kinda nerdy, veryĀ kinda touch starved, sarcastic person who just lived a shitty life.Ā 
Fun Facts:
k mans has a 6 inch dick, 7 when hard, but is thick, and stretches you out-
*cough* moving on-
bi sexual. Helen has a very hard time acknowledging romantic feelings but is down to date the girls, gays and theys. again good luck getting there but it may happen.
gender fluid Helen has come a long way and their gender identity has ranged from girl, boy, both, none and yes. Theyā€™ve settled on gender-neutral pronouns but doesnā€™t hate being called she/her or he/him usually. On a bad day, they canā€™t say the same.Ā 
Called them painter. The only ppl who can called them by their birth names are ppl who are close to them. On fem days, they like Helen. On masc days, they like Otis. Sometimes they donā€™t care, sometimes they just wanna be called painter. If youā€™re not sure and you actually care just ask, heā€™ll say what day it is. usually they dress accordingly, but still if youā€™re not sure ask, theyā€™ll prefer it.
Speaking of clothes, the fit??? is on point???? like imagine dark academia with more blues, blacks and tans. Helen looks like the protagonist of a boarding school au.
they will wear skirt and dresses and corsets, and do theyā€™re (slightly basic) hair and makeup.
some creeps (jeff) tried to make fun of helen for this. And when you look at Helen you dont think that theyā€™re much of a fight. Helenā€™s lean and kinda thin (kid doesnā€™t eat a lot), but Helen did karate for year cause their dad wanted theirĀ ā€œperfectly normal sonā€ to do something manly and kinda close to their culture. Helen learned how to fight with a very good guard and how to be very fast but not so much strong. Wasnā€™t until he got out of the mental hospital did he learn about pressure points, specially those that dont need a lot pressure :) you see where this is going.Ā 
Basically Helen is that one movie character who touches a spot on someone's neck and they pass out. (this is the best i can describe it, they dont do this exactly but similar things)Ā 
also very talented at art and arty things. like annoyingly good. heā€™ll try wood craving and make amazing things after only learning about it an hour ago. Current draws online and does online commissions to pay for his coffee
actually likes hunting, not with gun but with like bows an arrows. they dont hunt often cause they like animals
has to finish whatever theyā€™re working on. please force this baby into bed
has a coffee addiction
likes classical music and lofi.Ā 
dont talk about the whole painting with blood thing, they were 14, it was cringey, they know
hair is like chin length ish, its black with waves, so if they wanna be masc they can tie it up and when its fem, they can let it down and straighten itĀ 
forgets to eat, feed them
k this is long. As you can see I can also write a whole essay about Helen. I will write about Helenā€™s and Johnny friendship, along with the other creeps later. but im tired.Ā 
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ankhisms Ā· 4 years ago
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the always wonderful shelley @shanheling tagged me to do this thank u so much!! i think that everyone i wanted to tag has already been tagged to do this but if you feel like doing this feel free to consider urself tagged by me!! im putting this under a readmore bc its long and i ramble a lot
the piece i was tagged to explain my process on is this oc piece! unfortunately i have a habit of deleting my original clip studio file once ive finished my art and saved it as a new png file, so i dont have the file to show the sketch and different stages of this piece. but I still can go through my general process and talk about how i did that piece!
1. planning
honestly i think about the art that i want to do a lot, and in this last year or so ive thought about the art i want to do more than ive been able to actually create and finish that art that i want to do. for my planning i tend to do a lot of different thumbnail sketches for the art im thinking of
these are some examples of thumbnails, a lot of times ill do thumbnails just on pencil and paper and with some of these theyre done quickly with my fingers on my phone note function on a day where i was feeling too bad to get up and draw on paper but still wanted to get the thumbnail ideas down. two of these are for the same songxiao piece that i still havent finished and i have more thumbnails digitally on clip studio for the same piece, i do a lot more thumbnails when a piece isnt working the way i want it to and theres times where ill completely scratch a thumbnail or a sketch and start over in order to do more thumbnails because i dont feel happy with some aspect of it.
two of these are small gouche painting thumbnails for two pieces i did maybe a month or so ago, i did the thumbnails and then tried to expand on them digitally and im wanting to do more thumbnail paintings like this in the future because it was fun
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for the piece of my oc trio it was based off a series of ask prompts i got for a few different outfit prompt memes i had reblogged, so i based their outfits on the ones in the meme. when im drawing figures i tend to try and get the movement down in the poses when im sketching, i do several rough sketches of the pose before beginning to start setting down lines (if im doing lineart at all because sometimes i dont like doing lineart and do a more lineless painting kind of style). i really try to get my art to convey some kind of emotion, in the oc piece i wanted it to feel fun and like youre seeing three best friends while theyre out on the town having a fun night
2. creating
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this is the only real example i have of a piece in the middle of being filled in and created, this piece is one that im really not very happy with & have had lying around for a while and ill probably scrap it and try to come at it from a different perspective at some point. but anyway it still shows what i do, i lay down a kind of neutral gray color underneath my final sketch/lineart if im doing lineart in that piece and then i start picking out the colors that i want for the piece and kind of setting out a pallette for myself. i dont do this color pallette thing 100% of the time but i do it really often, especially if im working on a commission or a larger piece where i know theres going to be a lot of colors or if its a piece where im not sure exactly what color scheme i want so laying out the colors together helps me kind of decide what kind of scheme i want. i am sooooo picky about my colors in my art i am genuinely obsessed with colors in art and there are times where i really have to stop myself from working on something forever just constantly adding more colors or putting little tiny changes and gradients in the colors.
after ive got the colors i want down i tend to try and block out parts of the piece with the base color for that section, and then i start to paint with the colors that i want to go on top of that base color from there.
once im satisfied with the colors/shading/rendering and everything ill go back and look over things and will fix things that look off or sometimes completely redo segments if they dont look right to me. when i was younger and mainly doing digital art using my phone and my fingers i would use a lot of filters and overlays on top of my art once i was done, and honestly im glad to not be doing that anymore because i dont think it made my art look any better. i do color adjustments and sometimes will put on a color overlay or a layer to emphasize the shadows and the light in the piece, but i try to keep those layers to a minimum and like i said before i have a tendency to obsess over the colors and ill spend a good amount of time in the color adjustment tool of clip studio and then ill just decide "actually it looks fine as it is" so yeah!
3. posting
i feel like i dont have a lot to say here gbfm i mean i honestly have a lot of thoughts about the relationship between artists and social media and how social media changes our views on art including our own art and how we can feel like we constantly need to be posting new art and just become content machines churning out new stuff. but ill save that rant for another time. i used to be really concerned about how many notes my art would get when i was younger, and i dont at all blame anyone who still is very concerned about that bc it sucks when u work hard on something youve created and then you dont get a lot of recognition for it, but honestly within the last two years or so i feel like ive begun to have a lot healthier relationship with posting my art. i really just post my art on my art blog, reblog it to my main blog, and then thats that yknow! i do really appreciate any and all support people give me, it means the world to me, but for me having the mentality where i dont need to post all the art i make and i dont need to be posting every day or every week or every month even has been a lot healthier for me because then im not constantly asking myself why didnt this get notes is my art awful??? and yeah i just kind of post it and my brain goes okay were done with that art we gotta make more
ive honestly been struggling a lot with art thru the pandemic and if youre reading this and have been struggling with creating in any way recently or even before the pandemic, please know theres no shame in having trouble creating and it doesnt make you bad at whatever it is u create!
thank you for reading this, feel free to consider urself tagged by me again if u want to do this!! love u all
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somedayonbroadway Ā· 4 years ago
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wAIT I REALLY WANNA HEAR YOUR OFFICE AU IM VERY CURIOUS LOL
For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!
Yes!!!!! Fun story, I did this one once, but I didnā€™t like it at all, so Iā€™m redoing it now and Iā€™m stoked!
The Office AU
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Characters
Jack Kelly ā€” Jim Halpert
Katherine Plumber ā€” Pam Beesley
Spot Conlon ā€” Dwight Schrute
Racetrack Higgins ā€” Angela Martin
Albert DaSilva ā€” Andy Bernard
Morris Delancey ā€” Ryan Howard
Henry ā€” Kelly Kapoor
Hannah ā€” Meredith Palmer
Medda Larkin ā€” Phyllis Vance
William Hearst ā€” Stanley Hudson
Oscar Delancey ā€” Oscar Martinez
Darcy ā€” Toby Flenderson
Obadiah Weisel ā€” Creed Bratton
Specs ā€” Darrel Philbin
Crutchie Morris ā€” Erin Hannon
Todd Kloppmanā€” Michael Scott
Okay soā€¦
Jack Kelly
A salesman at a local paper company, a job he originally sees himself as getting out of fairly quickly despite sticking around for ten years.
Heā€™s a talented, but insecure artist, longing to go to school for art and eventually make a living off of his work
Growing up, Jack has two older brothers who are difficult to get along with as they both were jocks and loved to pick on him
Also growing up, Jack had an abusive father and a mother who walked out on him at a very young age.
Upon beginning to work at Dunder Mifflin, Jack finds himself falling for the quiet receptionist
Finding out that said receptionist is and has been engaged, he starts on the hardest waiting period of his life
Jack is the prankster of the office, choosing mostly to blow off his actual work and mess with his desk mate Sean whom he calls ā€œSpotā€ just to mess with him more
This catches on until the whole office calls Sean ā€œSpotā€
Jack often gets bored as he claims that he hates his job and is looking for ways around actually doing it, especially in the beginning
Heā€™s a huge baseball fan, though he admits he wasnā€™t a huge fan of playing sports even though he was on several teams in high school, as he wanted to be able to match his brothersā€™ accomplishments.
His sarcasm is a sort of escape from the world around him.
Does not like costumes very much
Everybody loves Jack except for Spot, who is convinced that Jack is his worst nemesis.
It takes Jack a long time to admit his feelings for Katherine, the receptionist heā€™s fallen in love with, and when he does, he is overall rejected, prompting him to request a job transfer
Eventually moving on, Jack ends up dating one Davey Jacobs from another branch of the company before that branch is closed and heā€™s moved back
Heā€™d always been scared about being openly bisexual, but he liked Davey
Eventually, he realizes that despite liking Davey, heā€™s still very much in love with Katherine and breaks up with the other man, asking Katherine out on a date.
Davey eventually becomes his best friend
After asking Katherine out finally, the two end up staying together and getting married
Jack proposes at a gas station in the rain when he eventually goes away to art school for three months
Together, Jack and Katherine have two kids.
They find out theyā€™re pregnant on accident before they are married
He often lives spontaneously, never running anything by anyone and hoping for the best
Eventually becomes one of the most trusted people within the company
Is forever devoted to Katherine
His father dies before his wedding and Jack canā€™t bring himself to cry and, when faced with going back into his childhood home, finds he canā€™t do it
Becomes protective of his friends, including his coworkers (especially Crutchie once he begins working there)
Is attacked at one point by Katherineā€™s ex-fiancĆ©
Is very soft and romantic
Is often teased for being bi, especially by the ā€œtraditionalistsā€ in his office who claim he practically has slept with everyone in the office
Brushing things off fairly easily, again using sarcasm and jokes to mask his feelings
Is slightly protective of Henry who is very young and naive and continuously goes back to a relationship that is toxic for him
Finds humor in any situation he can.
Genuinely likes to make people happy and will do a lot to make that happen
Katherine Plumber
Is shy and quiet when she starts working at Dunder Mifflin
Is often referred to as boring and solemn
Is in an endless, slightly abusive relationship that sheā€™s convinced is meant to be for eight years, ever since high school.
Grows up as an only child with well off ā€œnormalā€ parents who end up divorcing each other when she and Jack are engaged
Is the ā€œhottieā€ of the office and is one of the few women who work there, the youngest actually
Jack often has to subtly get people to stop harassing her
She enjoys writing and even has her own blog and publishes her own journals online. Jack reads every single one of them
Is very close with her mother and has a strained relationship with her father who does not like Jack and likes her previous fiancƩ better
Katherine is very meek and shy towards the beginning of her career, but often gravitated towards Jack because he brought out the humorous, adventurous side of her
Had been dating the same man since her freshman year of high school, despite him bringing his brother on their first date and abandoning her at a basketball game having forgotten about her.
Despite being engaged for three years, she often jokes that thereā€™s no end in sight
Tries to convince herself that Jack is like her brother in the beginning to deny her own feelings for him
Jack teaches her how to fight, telling her that sheā€™s a woman who often walks alone in New York City and she needs to have some training on her side
She comes from a rich family who she denies funds from in an attempt to be independent.
After Jack admits his feelings for her, she lets him kiss her, resulting in her calling off her wedding without explanation
Losing touch with Jack for a long few months, Katherine finds herself wanting to be more assertive, saying what she wants and making sure she gets it
Realizing sheā€™s in love with Jack after seeing and accidentally picking up a call from him over the months he was gone, she embarks on a waiting period similar to Jackā€™s as Jack is in a relationship with Davey and she fears it will never end
Davey and her actually end up becoming pretty good friends, and after Jack and Davey break up, he becomes a sort of confidant and best friend to the both of them. After a while, obviously. Davidā€™s not too happy with Kath after Jack breaks up with him
During Jackā€™s relationship with David, Katherine ends up going back to her ex, lasting for a while before she wants to be honest with him.
She tells him about Jackā€™s kiss resulting in him having a hissy fit and starting a bar fight and later attacking Jack at their workplace.
Jack and Katherine start to grow closer again after this
Once they start dating, Katherine starts to break through her shell
When Jack goes away to art school sheā€™s disappointed he didnā€™t propose to her but ends up accepting his proposal when meeting him halfway
She finds out sheā€™s pregnant after twisting her ankle playing volleyball, which sheā€™s rather good at, at a company picnic before the wedding
Jack and her run away from their own wedding when things go wrong and get married on a boat before having the wedding they planned
While going into labor, Katherine admits sheā€™s terrified and sees herself as unfit to be a mother before Jack promises her that theyā€™re in this together
She has two children with Jack
Her and Race have a strained relationship despite the fact that they both constantly try to be friends
While she often helps Jack on his pranks with Spot, she is kind to Spot and is one of the only people who knows about his secret relationship from the start
When Jack starts a business that takes off in Santa Fe, she and him begin to fight but eventually get over their single rough patch and end up drawing closer together
She stands up for herself and her family above all else
Spot Conlon
Is a born and raised traditionalist according to everyone else
Lives on a beat farm
Believes that there are strict rules for men and women that should be followed as heā€™s basically been brainwashed since he was born
Is in an on again off again relationship with a man, which he is at first ashamed of, as men were not supposed to sleep with other men
Is a purple belt in karate
Is the highest ranking salesman at Dunder Mifflin
Believes his biggest nemesis to be Jack who is constantly trying to prank him in various ways, ranging from simple and childish to well thought out and expertly orchestrated
Main goal in life is to become the manager at Dunder Mifflin despite being loyal to the current manager whoā€™s not quite as big an idiot as Michael Scott is
Is named Assistant Regional Manager but if often referred to as Assistant to the Regional Manager
Volunteer Sheriffā€™s deputy for a while
Wants to be the leader of his workplace but would also do what needs to be done in order to protect his coworkers at any cost (ex: saving Jack from getting beaten to a pulp by Kathā€™s ex)
Is an expert paintball player
Falls in love with the head of accounting (his on again off again relationship) and is actually able to make his partner happy
Had a somewhat abusive and distant father and basically raised himself and his younger cousin Vince
Spot enjoys having control over things, making life a bit harder for the people around him as he enjoys acting as somewhat of a vigilante.
Is in a relationship with the head of accounting, Race, until he murders Raceā€™s cat and is dumped, sending him spiraling into depression
Upon this break, Race starts dating and gets engaged to Albert DaSilva, a salesman who came back with Jack
Towards the end of that engagement, Spot wins Race back in the event of having an affair before both Spot and Albert have enough and walk away
Eventually Spot ends up in a relationship with a friend of Katherineā€™s named Riddle (@bexlynneā€™s amazing OC)
Moves from this relationship back to Race after a while and then back again until eventually realizing that Race is the only one for him and running Race off the road to propose to him.
Regards Katherine as his best friend despite her marrying his worst enemy
He loves Katherineā€™s kids who grow up calling him ā€œuncle Spotā€ against Jackā€™s wishes
Learns sign language for his boyfriend
Knows German as he mostly spoke German growing up
Is fairly closed off
Will do anything to protect the people he cares about
Racetrack Higgins
The head of accounting at Dunder Mifflin
Raised in a very religious home for most of his life before being moved around in different foster homes, most of which were bad
Is mostly deaf with one hearing aid that allows him to work normally even though he often shuts the thing off to actually concentrate
Learns sign language from a teacher at his school who wants him to be able to actually communicate in a proper way that he can easily understand.
Is often cold towards people who talk down to him or talk slower so he can try to read their lips
Owns several cats
Head of the party planning committee
Craves validation
Is perceived as homophobic before his romance with Spot Conlon is found out by Katherine
Has a strained relationship with Katherine who he constantly tries to be friends with when heā€™s in a good mood.
Bottles up his emotions as best he can out of force of habit
Hates people who put their relationships on display as he views it as indecent
Is unapologetic
Is in an on again off again relationship with Spot Conlon who often calls him ā€œMonkeyā€
After this relationship officially ends for the first time, he is asked out by Albert DaSilva
Accepting this, he finds heā€™s easily annoyed by Albert but likes how sweet the man can be when he tries
Eventually Race begrudgingly accepts a proposal from him, one that spoils Jack and Kathā€™s original plan for a proposal
Has an affair with Spot towards the end of the engagement, leaving Spot and Al to fight over him in an old fashioned duel
Jack finds Race crying in the bathroom and looks up the signs to promise he wonā€™t tell anyone
Race connects with the receptionist that takes over for Katherine, as Crutchie also grew up in the foster system, but has a much more positive outlook on life
Race tries to protect him, much like the rest of the office
Later, after Spotā€™s next relationship, they end up sleeping together again only for Spot to move on eventually
Race is later hit on by a politician who eventually asks for his hand in marriage.
Race agrees, only to later find out that the man was in love with someone else and eventually get dumped and kicked out.
Oscar, whom Race has never truly gotten along with, offers to put Race up while he gets back on his feet, resulting in Race admitting to him that heā€™s still in love with Spot
When Spot runs him off the road to propose to him, he gets down on one knee and signs to him, making Race cry
Race and Spot adopt a son together and live on Spotā€™s farm
At the wedding, Jack is Spotā€™s best man, Katherine is Raceā€™s
Oscar is named their sonā€™s godfather
Race has a really hard life that he refuses to open up about, but he turns out alright in the end
If youā€™d like to hear about more characters or see any scenes, just let me know!
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glowinggator Ā· 4 years ago
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Hi there! First of all thank you for the short haired reader Headcanons, it was so sweet !
Iā€™d like a matchup please! She/they, INFP, curly short hair+ freckles, rosy checks, chubby/curvy hufflepuff, 5ā€™9, shy but friendly, Loud w friends, nerdy, like memes, books, animated movies, painting, nā€™ artist stuff. My friends says Iā€™m very funny but also very naive, I have one of those obnoxious funny laughs you donā€™t see it coming from a mile away ( bc im usually kinda quiet ) but those that it makes others laugh from just hearing it? So yeah abbrjgkdkdn, a softie not gonna lie, hopeless romantic, affectionate, but I hide my love side out of fear for being rejected, Iā€™m very good with kids and animals, I get flustered SO easily ( itā€™s a pain. In the ass bfbgjdksks) got depression and anxiety, but I love hanging out with friends, Iā€™m always down to comfort ppl, listen, give advice if they need to, extremely supportive and kind. I sometimes need my space but at the same time I think I kinda need someone who reassures me Iā€™m not a bother or that they still like me, ( friendships and relationships ) otherwise I will crate conspiracy theories against myself and slowly drift away shbfngjdkd also understand non verbal language cuz itā€™s hard for me to open up, I Hope this is enough? thank you!
I match you with...
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Leonardo!!
Your caring and loving nature is a huge factor in drawing him in! Kind to kids, kind to animals, nerdy, a lil shy... heā€™s SO in. He realizes heā€™s in love with you the first time he really makes you laugh. Dorky & infectious laughter... his weakness <3
Heā€™s the best reader of nonverbal cues, hands down. He picks up on that shit so quickly, sometimes before you even realize what youā€™re feeling. Heā€™ll give you a little bit of time, to see if you want to bring it up, but heā€™s not afraid of bridging that gap if youā€™re unable to. Heā€™s also the KING of reassurance. Heā€™ll kiss your forehead, hold your hands, and tell you all the things he loves about you. Sweetest motherfucker on earth tbhĀ 
Heā€™s a bit taller than you! You already know heā€™s gonna do the thing of holding something above your head so you have to get on your tiptoes and lean into him to grab it.Ā 
Send him your memes... he always has like, a billion saved on his phone to respond with. (Heā€™s also started sayingĀ ā€œ___.....my beloved...ā€ out loud recently about the most mundane stuff. heā€™s so dumb <3 also most of his texts read like shitposts its so funny. heā€™s your boyfriend, but itā€™s obvious that you two were very good friends before you started going out together. Itā€™s really cute.)Ā 
At least once a month, he sends you a video of him trying to get Splinter to say Ratatouille quotes. ā€œDad, dad! I need you to say something for me.ā€ ā€œWhat is it?ā€ ā€œAnyone can cook, but only the fearless can be great.ā€Ā ā€œNo.ā€Ā  It never works :( Heā€™s not gonna stop trying though.Ā 
ADORES how flustered you get... he plays into it so much. He loves to pepper you with kisses and watch how flustered you get. Heā€™s also done the Gomez & Morticia kiss up the arm hundreds of times.Ā 
Heā€™s a hopeless romantic and proud of it! Heā€™ll do it all. Flowers, candlelit dinner dates, watching the sunrise & sunset, making dinner together, everything.Ā 
He likes to lay his head in your lap while you read. Oftentimes heā€™ll fall asleep, especially if you trace patterns on his shell with your free hand.Ā 
He loves crystals a lot! He could spend hours inside of gem shops, to be quite frank. His favorite is Blue Tourmaline, and heā€™ll buy little bags of it in the Hidden City so he can make necklaces & bracelets for you out of it. Every time you look down at your wrist or at your necklace, it makes you think of him :)Ā 
One way to make him really flustered? Trace his stripes! He practically melts into your hands, and he gets the sweetest smile on his face. His eyes close as he leans into your touch and itā€™s just... MUAH.Ā 
He tries so hard to make you laugh!! Your laughter is his favorite sound in the world, and heā€™ll do damn-near anything to hear it. If youā€™re ticklish... godspeed </3Ā 
Fellow lover of animated movies!! Heā€™s always down to watch them with you, and chances are, theyā€™re a pretty common pick on movie night. (He also FREQUENTLY sends you theĀ ā€œI wish all american animation studios a very make 2D movies again or elseā€ meme. If he has to watch one more CGI remake again heā€™s gonna DIE.)
If you have freckles on your shoulders/arms, you already know heā€™s gonna trace them. He thinks theyā€™re so pretty! He likes to connect them with markers to make little constellations.Ā 
He has your hair products MEMORIZED. If you ever run out of something, heā€™s the first to track it down for you. He also likes to draw cat ears and whiskers on the products in your bathroom <3
On your first year anniversary, he wrote you a really sweet song. He ran across the rooftops of New York with an acoustic guitar slung over his shoulder to get to your apartment, and you still remember the way he smiled as you grabbed his hands to pull him through the window. (Heā€™s a good singer, too! It was the sweetest thing in the world <3)Ā 
Heā€™s SUCH a nerd... talk to him about your latest interest, do it!! He gets just as passionate as you do, even if he had no idea what it was beforehand! He loves passion.Ā 
He has Houdiniā€™s history memorized forwards and backwards: both his personal life and his performances! He gets so excited when he talks about Houdini, itā€™s cute. Heā€™ll lay his head in your lap and ramble for ages, if you let him. His eyes light up like supernovas, itā€™s adorable. He talks with his hands, too.Ā 
Super supportive of your art!! He frames/hangs up anything you give to him. And if itā€™s too small, you bet its going in his treasure box. (He keeps it under his bed, and itā€™s full of little things that remind him of you.)Ā 
Speaking of which, heā€™s cool if you ever need a bit of space! It doesnā€™t hurt his feelings, I promise. Everyone needs a little bit of space sometimes, and thatā€™s okay! So long as you know youā€™re loved, heā€™s cool with it.Ā 
Heā€™s a huge fan of personality tests!! Both serious ones like Myers-Briggs and the silly ones that you find on like. Buzzfeed. Heā€™ll stay up for HOURS taking them to avoid going to bed. (Heā€™s an ENFP & Gryffindor, for reference! He barely skirts into ENFP-T, [Around a 55-45, maybe 60-40 split] if you wanna be specific.) He loves sending them to you, too!Ā 
Literally the sticky note KING. Heā€™ll stick them everywhere. Having a depressive episode? Sticky note reminders to eat & shower if heā€™s not there. Loving little stickies with encouragement! Declarations of how much he loves you, and how proud of you he is! Heā€™ll also do it when youā€™re feeling a-okay, but you can bet that he increases them when youā€™re not feeling well. Itā€™s a nice way for him to tell you that he loves you and is proud of you when he isnā€™t there. You keep all of them in a box of your own :) You guys also have a giant sticky note trail on your fridge. You both keep stacking responses on top of one another.Ā 
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2021ssajka Ā· 4 years ago
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I have been active on social media under @Jankathleenart for a very long time. this is where I post my paintings, sketches, photography and things I love and enjoy. its very casual and I keep it free. I try not to overthink it. i try not to treat it so professionally so I can keep it fun and enjoyable.Ā 
lately I have it a plateau. It all started with these two friends I had who kept saying something about my work. they would ask my why do I keep posting things like these. why do i keep using the color yellow and pushing me to use other colors. they would ask me why I use those music for my art videos and etc. they would keep giving unsolicited advice and comments i did not ask for and i did not appreciate.Ā 
I would always explain myself and my choices and and person would answerĀ ā€œyou. know im only trying to help right?ā€. He is not helpin gme at all but only continuing to criticize me and my work when he knows nothing. It didnt feel right to me what he was doing so i needed some space apart.Ā 
I told my other friend I was uncomfortable with people following me in social media. I couldnt tell her that it was her and her boyfriend specifically who was making me feel so uncomfortable with their comments.
I felt like i dont have control over my work. I have always been a private person, and now I dont even use my personal account and now I feel like even my art account is under attack because of those people. that art account is never meant to be for friends. its for me to express myself and share my work. I hate how i have no control over who i can share my work towards in social media. this has been an ongoing problem for me for a while.Ā 
after that I was uncomfortable sharing my work. I knew they are always gonna say something. they kept pushing and pushing me. towards my work even tho they know nothing about art or my practice. I stopped posting because of that pressure I felt. its been 2 months since I have posted.Ā 
last night I tried posting a landscape photo just to dip my feet into the pool again. I felt anxious again. I felt the pressure again and that did not feel good. I suddenly remembered the people who can see my work and I felt eyes on me.Ā 
I feel like some people are in my life follow that account soley just to keep tabs on me. And I do not appreciate that at all.Ā 
I would remove followers here and there, People i felt uncomfortable following me. My posts are very personal to me. theyā€™re a glimpse inside my world and thoughts and i really do not appreciate people giving unsolicited advice. I know this will be something I will have to deal with if I want to be a practicing artist. I dont mind strangers that much, but if its people in my personal life. I would like to draw some BOUNDERIES between my personal life and my professional life.Ā 
I just wish apps would give more control over their users. I wish there is a chance to be anonymous on social media.Ā 
For me, social media is access. and all these people have access to me and my work. Its so weird to me how these people have updates to my thoughts with just a click of a button. once I post something, theres no room to breathe but it instantly goes to their feeds. Its just too much for me to handle lately so I took a break.Ā I may be overthinking this again but I just dont feel good about it.Ā 
This is basically the reason why I dont post my actual ā€œfine artā€ paintings in my account.Ā 
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That was the main reason why I created @jankathleenart that was supposed to be my ā€œalter egoā€ or more like a stage name. Thats my first name but I just go by ā€œkatā€. @jankathleenart became more like a crafty feed. more like a behind the scenes and sketchbook photos that I would share. this doesnt speak to my fine art work though.Ā 
Given this occurring issue. Im considering making a different account for my actual work. or I could rebrand my accounts. but i really enjoy my more casual way of posting and working. I do not want to treat my account like a job.Ā 
Im thinking about going a different name or something for my fine art work. not sure if this is the best way to go.Ā 
I do like Jan Kathleen. I did that as a way for me to reclaim my name that I did not resonate with (since people just called me Kat). That is also an intentional move to leave out my last name- to keep something for myself. but I also did not refer to my last name because this is my my Fathers (It was recently brought to my attention that every last name came from the father side, being passed down to their daughters as if they are their property even if they are absent). I want to shine light to my first name which is given to me by my mother (the woman who raised me) and claim my power to choosing my own name.Ā 
Im thinking of making my current JanKathleenArt account into a subaccount and naming it JKAJournal and then making a new JanKathleenArt as a rebranding move. The only thing about that is that people will still know its me lol
Another option is to maybe to go anonymous behind my work because I do treasure my personal life. I do not wish to put so much of myself out there more than my art (since that is already personal enough).Ā 
I heard about Layqa Nuna Yawar and how this is a name he chose for himself.Ā Ā 
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janthonyashtoreth Ā· 5 years ago
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Another big batch of asks!
Answering a bunch of asks under the cut! Most of them are ink and flowers centric. I hope you all are doing well <3
anonymous asked: wait wait hold up Anathema works in Azra's tattoo parlour?? amazing, when i was thinking of making my own florist/tattoo artist au, i also had Anathema be Aziraphale's apprentice :D i like when these two are friends. do you have any more headcanons about Anathema in ink and flowers?
she does!! she was doing an apprenticeship under him but has since graduated to doing her own thing (but she still works at his parlor). i canā€™t get into the whole plot because spoilers but angels/demons and agnes nutterā€™s prophecies still exist in the iaf universe, but anathema isnā€™t her descendant. instead, anathema is a wickedly smart computer genius and her boyfriend newt is an endearing but kind of inept descendent of agnes. anathema was azraā€™s good friend-turned-wingwoman once anthony shows up. i love her
anonymous asked: concept: aziraphale seeing crowley presenting femininely for the first time how'd you think he'd react? in your flower shop tattoo artist au
anonymous asked: OKAY totally not asking bc i may or may not have been thinkin abt this for like. too long. but would anthony have to like, come out as genderfluid to azra/how would azra react to seeing anthony present more fem for the first time
ooo ive been thinking about this as well! i dont think anthony would necessarily have aĀ ā€œcoming out momentā€, they just kind of do what they want. if they feel like presenting fem or using different pronouns they would just. do it. and azra would just kind of roll with it. i like to think that the first time anthony presented fem she got all dressed up for date night and didnā€™t tell azra and azra just Stares bc,,,, wow anthony is just gorgeous like that!! azraā€™s dead!!!
anonymous asked: You're a cutie pie. That's it. That's the fact.
:ā€™ ) youā€™re a sweety pie!!!
anonymous asked: i deadass tried for 20 minutes to make the finger heart...... how did your friend do it......
i have absolutely no idea and it hurts my brain,,,
anonymous asked: Wahoo
wahoo.....
@alligatorsnbats asked: OK, so what's Oscar's thoughts on Anthony?
oscar LOVES anthony... heā€™s the worlds most apathetic cat but he actively seeks anthony out when hes around. azra is only slightly salty about it
anonymous asked: Is Anthony cross eyed?
heā€™s not! i made him a little bit cross-eyed in my latest post on purpose bc he was flustered but i dont know if it came across very well ;;
anonymous asked: not to be *THAT* bitch who comes into your ask box and gushes over your art but i love the way you colour things and your clean line work?? mwah. i wish i could draw like you its just so lovely
bfdkjfdh im cry,,,, just keep practicing my friend!!! i promise itā€™ll get you where you want to go. the last couple of months have been really nice for me in my ~art journey~ because its the first time iā€™ve ever really liked stuff that iā€™ve drawn. ive been drawing for about 7-8 years and this is only just happening and it varies so much from person to person!! some people get to where they want to go in 2 years, some people take 20. just donā€™t stop practicing!!
anonymous asked: your human!crowley deserves infinite appreciation and the fact that he has coloboma: that right there! is! good shit! he has snake eyes,,,, but as a human. u are a genius good sir and your art is a blessing šŸ‘ŒšŸ‘ŒšŸ‘Œ
haha thank you!! i think coloboma (i know how to spell it now!!) is such an interesting condition and itā€™s kind of underused for human aus!!! its so dope!!!
@bolitakawaii-senpai asked: what would crowley's and azi's fav emojies from the cursed emojis??
asking the real questions out here..... i think crowleyā€™s would be the one with all of the teeth and aziraphaleā€™s (assuming he knows what they are in the first place) would be the really cute one with big eyes and the pink hairbow
anonymous asked: concept for the ink and flowers au: something happens to crowley (imma b honest i have no idea) and has a lowkey crisis and chops all his hair off and just. joins his pet snake and snakes around the nursery untill azra comes in seeing crowley crying and cuddling his snake and yeah idk enjoy my the weird shit my brain comes up with
jhuyhaijodfaydgsihfujoi RIP TO THE HAIR...... i love the angst potential (and i can come up with a few reasons for the angst, but i digress) but i dont think i could part with anthonyā€™s hair,,, i love it too much
anonymous asked: I can't handle your ink and flowers Aziraphale. I can't. His hair is TOO fluffy. His face is TOO squishy. He is EXTREMELY friend shaped. His glasses and his eyes are bright like SPARKLES. Every time I see him I want to go feral and show all my friends. I would hug him without letting go of given the chance. 1000000000/10. šŸ’œšŸ
anonymous asked: I have a cat just like Oscar (big himbo) and I got him some knit hats for Christmas and he's gonna hate me but I can't wait to dress him up like a little bee so: does Azra ever give Oscar like costumes or footies just for fun? If yes, does Oscar love or hate? šŸ’œšŸ
isldakfj im grouping these two together bc im assuming ur the same person anon!! i love your signature!!
youā€™re correct. his hair IS too fluffy, and he IS entirely too friend shaped. he has the BRIGHTEST eyes. i cant contain my rabid love for him and it spills out into the art. i canā€™t help it. he gives the best hugs
SLADKFJ YES HE DOES..... IVE BEEN MEANING TO DRAW THIS FOR A HOT MINUTE,,,, as i mentioned earlier oscar is the worldā€™s most apathetic cat so i dont think he would care that much but heā€™s not super happy about it
anonymous asked: Y'know what? I'm too tired so say smth clever so just know that I love you and your art is amazing šŸ’•šŸ’• PS: i love that you also tag them as Ineffable partners (i guess the point is to be gender neutral)
i love you as well anon,,, and yeah i like the ineffable partners tag! i find that it fits more with their relationship for some reason.Ā though i still tag as ineffable husbands since its such a popular tag lksdfjdfknjbh
anonymous asked: Hello! Fist of all thank you for yor art, you are one of my favorite artists in this fandom and I have Feelings about the Ink and Flowers AU. Second: Don't feel pressured to post daily, we understand that life is complicated and art can be difficult sometimes. Take care! You're the best!
anon i would die for you!!! i never imagined that i would ever be one of anyoneā€™s favorite artists,,,,, im speechless,,,,,,,,
and yeah unfortunately i dont think ill be able to post every other day once this coming semester starts :( iā€™ll probably have to cut back to once every 3. but thereā€™s more ink and flowers coming at u guys so!! stay tuned for that
anonymous asked: Good omens characters having a game night?
i know this was sent in for the au prompts i asked for but. i dont think im physically capable of capturing the pure chaos that would ensue from this. holy shit it would be so feral.Ā 
thank you to anyone who read this whole thing!! i read all of my asks as soon as i get them and i have a lot that iā€™ve been sitting on for a while. if you sent me something i promise i havenā€™t forgotten about it!! if youā€™ve sent something in that you were expecting a response to and i havent responded, just send it again to be safe in case tumblr ate it
i love all of you! <3
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pathos-logical Ā· 5 years ago
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One Picture, a Thousand Words
Roman is a wonder that cannot be put to words, Logan a marvel that ink cannot capture. They try anyway.
Hoo, this sure was a labor of love! Love because I love @bleepblopbloop56ā€‹ with all my heart and labor because HOLY HECK WAS THIS HARD TO WRITE. But never mind any of that, because HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my friend!!! I absolutely adore you, and I hope your year is as fantastic as you are!!!
Trigger warnings: Food mention; a joking mention of hallucinations. I think thatā€™s it, but please tell me if I need to add something!!
There are a thousand words Logan could use to describe Roman. He would pull a Shakespeare and invent a thousand more if it meant finding a word that could accurately chronicle the tapestry of Roman, all colorful patches and carefully stitched seams. But Logan is no artist, and his words seem an inadequate medium.Ā 
Beautiful, he thinks and immediately discards. That is too obvious, the truth of it plain to see. Lovely is- better. More intimate. But too soft, perhaps, for Romanā€™s flame-edged hair, the bronze of his skin and the steel in his spine.
He has tried countless words, none of them quite right. Larger-than-life. (And no, his charisma and magnetic smile absolutely did not excuse the way he didnā€™t seem to know how to shut up.) Captivating. (Roman did have a way with words, when he wasnā€™t being an idiot.) Extraordinary. (He was quite the artist and actor.) Brilliant. (Again, Roman was rather intelligent when it came down to it.) Perfect. (Technically impossible. But.)
All those words he longs to say, not one spoken aloud.
(Or- once. Alone in his room, he had tried the shape of mine on his mouth, thought about how it tasted on his lips and imagined the look in Romanā€™s eyes if he ever dared to say it in front of him. Once, and never again.)
Oh, he wishes. But Logan has always been better with words on the page than to other people.
Well, he thinks, looking down at the piece of paper in his hands, I suppose thatā€™s what this is for. His eyes rove over the paper, skimming over phrases without really taking them in. If he reads it heā€™ll try to fix it, and at this point thereā€™s too much of his heart in the words for him to change them.
He looks at the last paragraph. Itā€™s the kind of declaration he sneers at in the romance novels Roman so adores, the kind of thing he wouldā€™ve sneered at barely years ago. But Roman always did have a way of making him question things heā€™d taken for postulates- himself included.
I tried, over the course of this letter, to pin down what exactly about you has drawn me so irrevocably into your orbit and left me floundering in unfamiliar space. However, as the length of this might indicate, I soon discovered that I could not.
You know me. It is very rare that I find myself lost for words. But I find myself unable to find the correct words to describe you, or even the correct words. Not because I have run out of things to say, or even because you have left me speechless, but because I could use a whole dictionary of love letters and fail to find the words that capture the way your eyes shine in the light when you laugh at your own jokes, and all the cliches in the world cannot express how I feel about every mundane, breathtaking thing about you.
But despite all that, I have three words for you, Roman, and I suppose there is no better day to deliver them than today (as of the day you receive this, at least).
I love you.
Ā Roman has a sketchbook no one but him has ever seen.
The drawings are all in pencil, and Roman aches to paint them, to mix his colors until he finds shades that will truly bring them to life. But Logan is a peculiar kind of monochrome, with his navy hair and black polo shirts and countless blue ties, and Roman fears that no amount of paint could do that justice.
Itā€™s undeniable that the warm brown of Loganā€™s eyes is a color he itches to find in a colored pencil, that the almond of his skin is one he longs to see redden at his touch. But those arenā€™t the things he really wants to capture when he puts pencil to paper anyway. No, when he draws Logan, his focus is on the subtle gleam that comes to his eyes when he speaks about something heā€™s passionate about, the curl of his lips when his emotionless facade breaks at some stupid comment Roman made.
Roman wishes he could show Logan the notebook, sometimes, the days when his longing overpowers his surety in the fact that it could never be reciprocated. He imagines coffee-colored eyes looking through the pages with delight, taking in the devotion clear in the meticulous lines. He pictures the hands heā€™s spent hours perfecting skimming over paper, taking care not to smudge the lead.
(He sees disgust settling in the curve of Loganā€™s lips and rejection showing in the set of his shoulders, and he pushes away the thought and hides his notebook under his pillow, pretends that he hasnā€™t memorized the shape of Loganā€™s smile.)
But he doesnā€™t think of any of that today. Itā€™s Valentineā€™s Day, and Roman is dressed for it. He dons his armor that he definitely did not spend a whole two hours deliberating on and sets out the door armed with a kind of desperate false bravado, which is immediately undermined by how he jumps at his roommate Pattonā€™s encouraging ā€œgo get ā€˜im, tiger!ā€ shouted through the walls.
Still scowling at the door behind him, Roman briefly debates how desperate a text will make him sound before deciding, screw it.
Hey, we still on for lunch at Cream of the Cup?
The reply is prompt, as always, and Roman makes a futile attempt at smothering the smile he knows is blossoming across his lips.
>> Of course.
Iā€™ll see you then!
Roman can so do this.
Virgil I canā€™t do this
>> why not?? youve been planning this for weeks, youll bbe fine
actually, knowing you, orobably months
Jfkdkfkfkfk
itā€™s
LOGAN
>> im aware, weve only veen best friends for years now
ā€¦Ā 
if yoy send a long rambling text ahout how wonderful logan is and how you dont deserve hkm im gonna lose it
roman i swear to god
HEā€™S JUST SO SMART AND AMAZING AND Iā€™M JUST ME I DONā€™T DESERVE HIM AND WHAT IF I SCREW THINGS UP BETWEEN US FOREVER AND HE HATES ME OR WHAT IF ITā€™S AWKWARD Iā€™M OKAY WITH JUST BEING FRIENDS REALLY HE PROBABLY DOESNā€™T EVEN LIKE ME THAT WAY ANYWAY I MEAN WHY WOULD HE
Whoops sorry
>> youre not
Iā€™m not
But
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>> okay roman, listen up, because Iā€™m only gonna say this once.Ā 
first of all, cut it with the self-deprecating crap. one, thatā€™s my thing. and two, I WILL pull a patton and fight you.
stop doubting yourself, it doesnā€™t suit you
I might not have known you as long as Iā€™ve known logan, but I knowĀ 
I can see you typing. shut up.
maybe I havenā€™t known you as long as Iā€™ve known Logan, but I do know youā€™re a good guy, and you /clearly/ love him
KSKFKFKKFKGD W H A T
>> yes, everyone knows, no, Logan does not, LET ME FINISH
it means a LOT to him that you actually read the articles he sends you about mars rovers at 3 am and that you donā€™t tell him heā€™s annoying for infodumping about alpha centauri or whatever star system heā€™s planning to go to and that you deal with his hypocrisy about sleep schedules and his general inability to do emotions
also, knowing him for years means I know his type, and trust me, youā€™re it
and even if by some miracle he doesnā€™t like you back, you guys are too close to ruin your friendship. okay? so however this ends, I promise youā€™ll still be friends
>> But
ROMAN
listen, you donā€™t tune him out when he starts babbling, and he does the same for you. he loves listening to your rants about art theory, he goes to every single one of your shows, and he started learning Spanish just to impress you. yes, heā€™s learned more phrases than just insults, heā€™s just been hiding it so he can surprise (aka impress) you later
and roman? he really really does value your friendship. you know that weā€™ve known each other since forever, so you know I mean it when I say that Iā€™ve NEVER seen him get so close to someone this quickly.
andā€¦ youā€™ve been good for him too, okay? heā€™s not really the type to get lonely, but thatā€™s just because he gets so tied up in his giant brain he forgets there are people in the outside world to talk to. but it really is important to him that youā€™re always there for him, andā€¦ I can tell you right now that heā€™s told me how much he appreciates you for it
after all that? Iā€™d say he loves you too, dude. go for it.
you can talk now
Holy heck you DO love me
>> eh
Holy HECK
Wait
Did you turn on autocorrect just to yell at me???
>> Only for you, babe.
Please never do that again
yeaj that was oncredibly unconfortable
now GO GET YOUR MAN
Ā Roman, for all his theatrics about love at first sight and true loveā€™s kiss, hadnā€™t mentioned Valentineā€™s Day plans once in the weeks leading up to it. Then, exactly one week ago, heā€™d texted Logan with a simple request to meet up at a nearby cafe. Logan knew him too well to miss the possible connotations of such an invitation. But it was entirely possible that this was merely meant to be an outing between two friends. A platonic outing.
A platonic outing where there was barely room to stand, forget sit. Logan curses under his breath. Heā€™d decided for once to not show up fifteen minutes early, as that would only give him more time to second-guess himself, especially as Roman was notorious for being chronically late. But he had failed to account for the obvious fact that, it being both a Saturday and Valentineā€™s Day, the usually quiet cafe is filled to the brim with couples ordering the heart-themed specials and kissing and generally clogging the air with sweet words and PDA. And no, Logan is not irrationally annoyed about this, heā€™s just worried he wonā€™t be able to secure an empty table for him and Roman.
But just as the thought crosses his mind, he catches a familiar head of fiery hair at a table against the wall, bent over his phone and apparently completely absorbed by whatever he was looking at. An incredulous ā€œRoman?ā€ slips from his lips unbidden, because- well, Roman had once nearly been late to the first show he was the lead in. But there he was, reserving a table at exactly 12:30 with a croissant in front of him. Maybe today really was a day for miracles.
He watches with amusement as Roman jumps and looks up at the sound of his name. His face lights up as soon as he registers who it is, and Logan abruptly goes from amused to filled with some kind of fluttery warmth he doesnā€™t want to quantify.
ā€œLogan!ā€ Roman exclaims, hurriedly tucking his phone away. ā€œHey! How are you?ā€ His smile beams out like the sun, but it dims upon Loganā€™s next words.
ā€œNot well, unfortunately,ā€ Logan informs him gravely. ā€œI fear I have been having severe auditory and visual hallucinations. For example, I am currently experiencing one so vivid that I believe I am conversing with a friend in a cafe when I know that there is no chance of him being here yet.ā€ Maybe Logan should feel bad about the way Romanā€™s expression morphs from worry to alarm to overblown outrage, but the challenging gleam in his eyes arrests him as surely as that of of Romanā€™s heart-shaped studs, and he canā€™t bring himself to regret it.
ā€œHey, Iā€™m not always late!ā€ he protests so loudly several patrons turn to look at him, perhaps expecting a scene.
Logan canā€™t help the smirk that creeps across his face as he slides into the seat opposite Roman, surreptitiously tucking a navy blue folder besides him. Thank goodness for Roman being typically Roman and reserving a booth that could seat six for a party of two. ā€œRoman. Once Virgil and I deliberately told you to meet up an hour after we were actually supposed to meet so that when you inevitably showed up late, it would only be by five minutes rather than fifty. And the very idea that you could be on time for something went so flagrantly against the laws of the universe that the universe struck back by making your car break down, and you missed the meeting entirely.ā€
ā€œIs that what happened?ā€ Roman asks, looking so genuinely gobsmacked that Logan canā€™t help the snicker that escapes him. Romanā€™s expression flips to one of self-satisfaction, and Logan tries to ignore the little burst of fondness in his chest at the sight. Even if the rest of today goes horribly, at least he can savor this easy banter between them.
And banter they do, debating over whether Loganā€™s physics professor or Romanā€™s marketing professor is more inept before commiserating over the ā€œperpetual hell weekā€ that is college. They bounce from the disappointing latest installment of one of Romanā€™s favorite series to a terrible documentary on aliens Logan had found on a ā€œscienceā€ channel (ā€œItā€™s called a having a basic grasp of eighth-grade geometry, Roman- which, unlike this nine-thousand year old civilization, these morons have clearly never achieved!ā€) to every little thing in between, their food forgotten in front of them.
Itā€™s nothing special, technically- theyā€™ve been friends for years now, and they often have talks about everything and nothing. But today Logan can convince himself that an electric current is charging the air between them, flushing Romanā€™s cheeks and lighting up his eyes as Logan is drawn in, helpless against his magnetism.
Thereā€™s no decisive moment where Logan thinks, this is it. Thereā€™s just Roman, his laughter like bells in the breeze, and Logan, gazing at him like heā€™d put the stars in the sky.
ā€œRoman,ā€ he says. Thatā€™s it- Roman.
Roman is still giggling at his rendition of the student whoā€™d spilled their coffee on the drama professor on the first day, but he sobers at whatever look is on Loganā€™s face. ā€œHey- you good, Lo?ā€
The nickname catches at something in Loganā€™s chest, pulls it open so the next words come just a little harder, just a little easier. ā€œRoman,ā€ he says again, looking down. ā€œI do not wish toā€¦ ruin the mood, but I have something to confess.ā€
(Heā€™s looking down, so he misses the way Roman jumps at the last word.)
But when he meets Romanā€™s eyes, open and curious, Loganā€™s confidence abandons him. He exhales slowly in an attempt to regain some of the feeling from before, like the memory of Romanā€™s voice will fortify his. But all that comes out is: ā€œI wrote- would you-ā€Ā 
Loganā€™s throat fails him entirely, something a little like dread and a little like hope clogging it up. Without another word, he slides the folder he had kept tucked at his side to Roman. When Roman raises a curious eyebrow, Logan simply smiles- a quick, brittle thing- and motions for him to open it.
Earlier, the noise in the cafe had distracted Logan, had made him frown when it rose over Romanā€™s voice. But suddenly it all fades into the background, the chatter of voices and clatter of spoons receding in favor of the thwip of the folder opening, the little breath Roman takes when he reads the first two words.
Dimly, Logan thinks he must have used up all his words in the letter. His fingers lay still at his sides, mind is utterly blank as he watches Roman read it. But his heart is pounding loud enough that for an absurd second, heā€™s sure Roman can hear it in the sudden quiet.
Logan waits for a minute, maybe five. He thinks heā€™d wait for Roman forever if he asked. But Roman doesnā€™t make him wait that long, because when he looks up his eyes are wet with tears, and when Logan uselessly opens his mouth- to do what? His voice certainly hasnā€™t returned- Roman lurches forward, clumsy in a way Logan has never known him, and seals their lips with a kiss.
And when they finally draw apart, Logan thinks heā€™s regained his words (or maybe just these three), because they force themselves out of his lips like theyā€™ve been waiting to do so since Logan said Romanā€™s name. And Roman, his face a study in the kind of shock and delight that can only come from a thought-to-be-hopeless dream coming true, returns them.
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