#im sure y'all have made that realization already

[totallynotadisplacer]

Oh my god, Tark and Ferrin went diving for orantium together twice. In SoR they were the ones that swam down to get the orantium in Orruck's lair, and in CtP they were the ones that found the mine/exposed the vein.

[landograndprix]

╰┈➤ ❝ desire • l.n c.l ❞ xi

part ten - part twelve

➪ Charles hasn't paid much attention to you after your daughter was born but a certain Brit does.

➪ charles finally realizes things between you and lando are in fact serious.

➪ mom!reader x dad!Charles x lando

➪ sorry this took so long :') charles needs professional help <3

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milliexoxo

liked by y/nusername, logansargeant and 5,784 others

milliexoxo okay but my mom speaks italian

tagged: landonorris, y/nusername, carlossainz55

view all 583 comments

norrizz NAH MISS ZOE LECLERC SIT DOWN IM NOT READY FOR YOU TO STAND

↳ yukisan HONESTLY WHATS NEXT WALKING?!

bott_ass HAVE Y'ALL NOT SEEN MILS LATEST VLOG SHE DOES WALK ALREADY

norrizz NAH SEDATE ME IM NOT READY FOR THIS

norry4 Y'ALL FORGOT ITS HER 1ST BIRTHDAY IN LIKE 2 WEEKS?!

landoscar look at mom and dad :(

julieeeexo refuse to believe that's zoë, why is she growing so fast?!

carlandooo carlos and zoë?! 🥺

↳ sharl16 charles punching air rn 😂

charliecharlie aw I'm becoming the biggest y/nlando shipper 😩

logansargeant love the new haircut. 🔥

↳ hamilt44n asjklmsks arianna what are you doing here?!

grussell63 @.y/nusername help your kid out 😭

landonorizzzz pls @.y/nusername adopt logan as well 😭

landofourr wait is this considered a y/nlando hard launch?

↳ chilisainz girl they don't need a hard launch, it's so obvious with everything they do 💀

versainz155 carlos casually hanging out with lando and his little family is what I'm living for <3

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y/nusername posted to their story

charles_leclerc replied to your story

charles_leclerc

Where's zoë?

y/nusername

with millie

charles_leclerc

What hotel are you staying in?

y/nusername

we rented a place, zoë is not stuck in a hotel room if that's what you're hinting at, she's able to crawl and walk around all she want.

charles_leclerc

You go on a lot of dates with lando and leave zoë with someone else

y/nusername

you're joking, right?

you're becoming a real asshole, Charles

get a grip

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell and 768,523 others

y/nusername quando in Italia 🧀 🍝 (when in italy)

tagged: landonorris, milliexoxo

view all 1,176 comments

norry4 not the bucket hat, my girl has been hanging around with lando to much 😩

milliexoxo I told y'all my mom speaks Italian

↳ charlesgirlies your 'mom' speaks Italian because her baby daddy is half italian

oscarpastry charles is not half Italian 💀

charlesgirlies girl, he is in spirit lmao

bobnorriz lando and zoë content y'all 🥰

norstappen not really sure if I like the fact zoë is walking but okay..rude :(

el645 when are you going to admit you cheated on charles?

↳ hamilt44n oh god the stalker made its way to insta 💀

yukisan when is charles going to admit he cheated on y/n?

el645 aren't yall curious why they broke up?

charlescharles dude we don't need to know why they broke up? 🤡

landonorris been cooking with my best friend 💜

↳ hamiltonh SHUT UP 😭😭 😭

milliexoxo close to turning a year and still a better cook than you

bott_ass girl you're never going to get along with your stepdad if you keep bullying him like this

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y/nusername

📍 Nice, France

liked by milliexoxo, maxfewtrell and 675,458 others

y/nusername a year ago the tiniest little girl changed my life for the better, happy 1st birthday to our silly little bear ❤️❤️❤️❤️

view all 1,425 comments

bott_ass happy birthday zoë!

maxfewtrell happy 1st birthday to my best friend ❤️

riabish happy birthday pretty girl! 💜💜

logansargeant happy 1st birthday zoë!

↳ hamilt44n I love this, I hope y/n adopted Logan 🥺

milliexoxo my silly little girlfriend, hope you have the happiest of birthdays! <3

carlossainz55 happy birthday to the funniest girl ❤️

norrizz this girlie is so loved 😭 happy b-day little princess! 😍

el645 funny for someone who didn't want a kid in the first place

↳ chilisainz Noelle get your ass out of here

norry4 man's must be blind, this woman LOVES her daughter

lando happy birthday to our little bear 🐻

↳ y/nusername ❤️❤️

landonorris ❤️❤️

yukisan everyday I come on this app and cry :(

charles16 Monaco gp week? Nah, it's been Zoë her week ❤️

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y/nusername

liked by milliexoxo, maxfewtrell and 698,452 others

y/nusername the bestest company. <3

tagged: milliexoxo, logansargeant, landonorris, liamlawson30

yukisan Logan had been officially adopted 😭

↳ grussell63 and Liam & his girlfriend?! 😭

lewisham Liam and y/n gave little brother big sister vibes back when Liam took dr3 his seat for a while, I'm not surprised!

norrizz I don't think y'all realize y/n started socialising way more after she left charles, I wonder with who she's hanging out with 👀

landoscar lando and oscar content thank you queen!!!!

norry4 mom and dad with their kids <3

chilisainz wonder where the die hard y/ncharles shippers are right now..

↳ yukisan probably still skipping around in delululand

mcnorris lads, she's still dating charles, lando and y/n are just friends...duh 🤪

yukisan if that's what it's like to have lando as just a friend, can I have him as a friend as well 😭

lawsonbaby LIAM?! CANT WAIT TO SEE THE VLOG

carlando they're insta official 🥺

maxfewtrell cute but where am I?

↳ milliexoxo this post is meant for the cute people..

landonorris and yet you're in it..

milliexoxo 😲

y/nusername contrary to popular beliefs, I'm actually nice and didn't want to turn you into another meme

maxfewtrell I appreciate that, thanks mate ❤️

nortrell MATE?! Best buds these two 😭

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Desire taglist; @fangirl-dot-cm @sainzluvrr @writingworlds @chezmardybum @lewisvinga @xjval @fanficweasley @rockyhayzkid @aundercover @thecubanator2 @minchedchilli @crimeshowjunkie @alisoncasey21 @eeviepepi08 @shamelesspotatos @sleepybrokenmelle @leireggsworld @janeholt3 @iamahalicinationn @dessxoxsworld @kapsylia @22yuki @dark-night-sky-99 @sheslikeacurse @nerdreader

Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @softboystarkey @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie @pretty-little-bunny382728 @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @severewobblerlightdragon @cherry-piee @namgification @mycenterfold @devineendevers @celestialend

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10 @bored-brunette2 @i83andrew @mcmuppet @justdreamersdream

[moonystoes]

Prom date - Elisa De Almeida x reader (highschool students) pt.3

Summary: It's the day you have been waiting for, except you didn't spend it with your date.

Warning: slight homophobia and bullying (it's paul and his minions smh), too much yap guys im sorry, no kissing nothing it's KILLING ME TOO OKAY? unrealistic corny shit but they're 14 in 2012.

wc: 7.799k

a/n: hey y'all... did you miss me? i want to apologize for this chapter because it's yap and a mess to be honest. but it has been a while since the last time i wrote. i also want to say sorry for the people that were waiting...again, i'm still pretty new to writing, and if you have any advice please help me out!!

Here: part 1 part 2

Wednesday, 19th of december 2012

You were always excited about the idea of prom. The makeup, the dress, the dance, the romantic glances, and obviously the kiss that would be your first. But now the only thing that's on your mind was Elisa.

In these two days, Elisa has been acting slightly differently around you than before. She would give you a small nod of acknowledgement with a small smile or the usual frown. Yet, it still seemed like there was a barrier between the both of you, and talking to each other still felt impossible.

You stared at your reflection in the mirror making sure your ‘picture-smile’ looks good. Sam was next to you, holding a large pink make-up palette with an eyeshadow brush in her other hand.

You hated sleeping in class for one reason, and it's your silly mouth. Whenever you wake up you end up saying something stupid. And based on the way Elisa was looking at you, you knew you had said something dumb at the nurse office that day.

You had tried everything in your power to remember what you said, but nothing had worked.

“Girl it's not that serious, you're acting as if you confessed your love or something.” Sam groaned out, waving the pink powdered brush around. Your eyes widened and turned to look at her, “Sam! Don't say that, she's a girl!”

“So?” She shrugged, dabbing a glittery shade on your eyelids.

“So? You know so. Girls shouldn't like girls like that, don't be stupid.” You frowned, closing your eyes so she can work on your eyelids again.

“Why not? I don’t give a shit.” Sam looked away from your eyelids and stepped away to look at you with a confused glance. Both of you have never discussed anything like this, but she still felt offended thinking that you thought she was against it.

Silence filled the room, your hands playing around with the cheap acrylic nails you glued on. “Really?” You whispered.

“Pfft, yeah. Who cares? We're in highschool now. At least we're not doing drugs.” She laughed. She started tapping a different shade to your eyes, while humming to the song playing on her phone.

“Well, the government does.” You shrugged, your silky straightened hair moving around your shoulder. You felt Sam stop tapping your eyes before she asks, “the government does what?”

“Care. Same sex marriage isn't allowed, that's what I meant.”

“Wait, you searched up about that?” Sam accused you as she stepped away again from your face to glance at you. You opened your eyes in shock as you moved the hair away from your face, “what! No…I just assumed that.”

Sam's face dropped as she gave you a disappointed glance, but your embarrassment made you look down to your sweatpants. You didn't want to admit to Sam that you've searched about it, and you also would kill yourself if she finds out about the Quora comment you made.

Sam has already suspected something weird about you this whole school semester, and at first she thought it was about how stressful school is. But she noticed that whenever she talks about Elisa to you, you'd look away and try to make the conversations shorter. What made her realize what's going on is whenever Elisa walks past you, you'd look at her hoping for some reaction. A smile, a nod, even just a glance, you've always hoped Elisa would acknowledge you.

It was when the both of you were sitting at lunch with your two other friends when you brought up her nonchalant responses to you. Lucia and Suzan looked at you confusingly, responding with a ‘she jokes and is really friendly to me’.

Usually you wouldn't care, saying that it's not an obligation to like every person in school and you'd respect her friendships. But when it came to Elisa, you would complain about it everyday to her.

She hoped that you'd speak to her about your newfound crush on Elisa, but you'd always swerve and act dumb whenever she brings Elisa up. However, she understands it's very difficult to come out, especially when you still don't even know what you are in the first place.

So she shrugged and decided to apply blush around your cheeks. After that, you stood and wore your floral dress, avoiding Sam's eyes.

Sam has been talking a little too much, about her new favorite show, the side character she's obsessing over, her new favorite snack, and many things she started blabbering about. When Sam talks too much, it means she's either hiding something from you or is trying to distract you. Both conclusions are awful, so you shook her off and started wearing your jewelry.

Sam's loud mouth slowed down as you stared at your complete reflection. She pulled your hand to sit on the bed before you left to the venue. She held into it and said, “If Paul doesn't treat you well, it doesn't matter okay? You're there to experience your first prom, not your first date with Paul.”

You looked down at your intertwined hands and sighed, feeling like she knew something you don’t. Did Paul say he would ditch me? Does she know about that? She continued, “Besides, you look too good. If he treats you badly, you can literally get anyone else.”

You huffed and looked away from her, “Yeah like who?”

“Every guy. Literally,” She said in a duh tone. She stayed quiet for a second before adding, “probably Elisa too if what they say is true.”

You looked up to look at Sam, “no way, I'm not her type.”

“And how would you know her type?”

You stayed silent and awkwardly shrugged as you looked down. “Amy's probably her type, just like everyone else.”

Sam sighed loudly and wrapped her left arm around your shoulder, “I wish you can see yourself the way these boys do. You're smart, gorgeous, kind, hardworking, and so many more. Amy is cute, yeah… but she's not the whole package.”

You bit your lip trying to suppress your smile,and leaned into her touch. “Thanks, I'll let you know what happens when I come back.”

Sam nodded and stood up, realizing that you're heading out right now. “Is he coming now?”

You turned and looked at her, “who?”

Sam's stomach sank when she realized the situation, she sighed loudly, “oh my God are you actually telling me he's not even taking you there.”

Giving her a forced smile, you stood up and wore your heels. “I don't care about him at this point. I feel like…my crush on him was never real you know. Like… I was attached to the hope of us being close like how we were when we were kids, I wasn't actually hoping for a relationship with him,” you exhaled calmly, “I just want to experience prom, I don't care about the romance part, especially not with him anymore.”

Sam was glad that you were officially over Paul. She knew he wouldn't be a great partner and she wanted what's best for you. But she knew that there was something else. Because for you to get over someone, you'd have to be distracted enough to forget about them. That's how you are.

Sam walked you to the car outside, your parents both standing with a camera to take pictures. You were glad they didn't know about American prom traditions, because it is embarrassing how Paul isn't here to take pictures with you as well as the corsage and flowers.

After the awkward posing, your father got into the car and dropped you off at the huge venue the school rented for today. As you stepped out of the car, fear started brewing in you. You were late because of the long lectures from your parents so the building was filling up already and you were the type of person who would come first to everything.

You hoped you would not find Paul as you took a deep breath and entered the poorly lit room. It was filled with blue decorations, blue foil curtains around the walls and entrance, blue balloons, blue flowers, blue ceilings, everything was either blue or white except the yellow lamps that created a ‘romantic’ atmosphere.

“Hey you're here!” A sudden noise came from behind you, feeling a hand on your shoulder.

You turned immediately, finding Paul wearing a classic white and black suit and a red tie. You gave him a fake smile and replied, “yeah I just came here, I hope you're not mad that I'm a bit late.”

Paul gave you a bright smile, the one that makes your anger and disappointment in him slightly fade away, “don't worry, I didn't even notice you weren't with me anyways!”

He grabbed your elbow and dragged you to the tables not realizing the face drop in your face. You didn't know if you should feel offended or just cry, your stomach dropping as you felt slightly sick.

“Hey guys, my date is here.” He pointed at you, introducing you to his friend group. You've known them, they were all in your class and you've talked to them previously.

Adam glanced at you and waved, “you didn't tell us it's y/n!” You looked away from them, trying to hold in your frustration and disappointment. He called you his date and didn't bother to introduce you by your name, but it's okay because you ARE his date. He just called you what you are… you can't get mad at that.

But he didn't even tell them it was you? So he hid the fact he asked you out for the past 2 weeks? You remained facing away from them, hugging your bare arms into yourself as you hoped you could find someone to run and talk to. Adam, Paul and his friends were chatting about video games and football. A part of you wanted to join the football conversation, but you knew they're going to mock you because you're a girl.

So you pulled out your phone and texted Sam a quick update message letting her know that Paul was disappointing just like how the both of you were expecting. You turned it off when you heard Yousef talk about Elisa.

“I can't believe Elisa actually came.” You looked at Yousef, realizing he was facing the food and drinks table. You turned immediately to find where she was. After moments of looking around, you found her standing around the drinks area laughing at something Marie said, her hair neatly styled to the side. You have noticed that Elisa's hair is always styled well, but this time it looks like she took longer to perfect her look. She was wearing the usual black and white suit, except with a pink tie.

You wondered what Marie had said to make her laugh that hard, and you looked around her to check if she had a date. You knew Fleur was recovering from her injury, but what if she brought someone else?

Your gaze was interrupted when you heard Paul mutter something, “No matter how much she dresses like us, she can never be us,” You turned to look at him in surprise, “imagine being a lesbian and trying to dress like us yet you get no dates.”

Your shock turned into anger, “Paul, what the fuck!” You couldn't believe he is your date, let alone your best friend as a kid.

The guys all laughed at what he said and how you reacted, Paul looked at you in shame and he tried to pull you away from the group.

“No let go of me! You can't just say stuff like that, it's rude.” You angrily pushed his hand away from your wrist. Out of all the things Paul did, this was the worst of them. Because he was not hurting you, he was hurting Elisa. Elisa the sweet girl that did nothing wrong to him.

“Y/n come on she can't hear us it's okay.” He pulled you closer as he whispered to you. His soft brown eyes looking at you to let you know how sincere he was. You felt disheartened, this was the guy you had a crush on. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down to not cause a scene. You can't behave this way for Elisa, they'll know. Wait…they'll know what? You glanced at Elisa to make sure she didn't hear him, now she's standing alone as Marie and Adam were dancing to the upbeat music playing.

“So just because she can't hear you, it technically means you didn't say it? Paul, you still said it!” You whisper-shouted at him. You exhaled slowly as the anger faded into shame. Shame in thinking he was sweet and precious. Shame in still expecting more from him no matter how much he ignored you.

“What can prove existence y/n? It's for you to have proof of something or remember it. No one can prove what I said to Elise, and she didn't witness it. You know what this means?” You gaped at him in surprise, is he turning this situation into a philosophical study? “What I said doesn't exist in Elise's world. She doesn't know about it, okay?” he held your hand and pulled you into him, leaving his right arm around your shoulder.

Your insides churned as you felt disappointed, not in Paul this time, but in yourself for not letting go of him and defending Elisa. You didn't even have the energy to correct him for saying the wrong name. For now, you're thinking of a plan to stay away from him.

The boys started talking about other stupid topics as Paul's arm remained on you. Instead of listening to them, you focused on Élisa's back as she was standing a few meters away from you. From this angle, it looked like Elisa had a new haircut for today. Her shaved sides looked cleaner, the suit she was wearing was fitting her shoulders so well as if she got it tailored. You glanced back to Paul when you realized you're putting too much focus on her.

You quickly took off Paul’s hand off your shoulder, telling him that you’re going to the bathroom. Your tense muscles started to calm down when you had finally escaped him and his annoying friends. Walking in the dark hallway to somewhere quieter, you decided to stop by the drinking area and get yourself cold water to calm yourself but you were interrupted by someone.

“I thought you were here with Paul?” You turned to the voice and found Elisa pouring herself a sprite, her first two buttons of her shirt were open and the light pink tie was loose. You froze in place as you looked at her this way, the orange hues from the lights hit her left face making her sharp jawline pop and her prominent nose stand out. You sighed quietly as your hands started to shiver, but you couldn’t blame the cold for this one. You know exactly what this is now.

“I don’t care about him.” You gulped the water and threw the paper cup in the trash.

“Did he hurt you?” She stepped closer to you as the loud music was making it difficult for her to hear you. But your flustered state made you step back, “no, he just said something rude about someone I care about…”

Elisa’s face changed from frustration to confusion, “who?”

You felt like the first day of school all over again, the unnecessary nervousness consuming you as you folded your arms against your chest, “why do you care?” you snorted and looked at the dancing couples at the new slow music playing.

Elisa figured out that you probably didn't even want to be around her, she was the one that approached you and started this conversation anyways. But why wouldn't you say who Paul was talking about? She has been nicer to you, right? Are you guys friends now?

Elisa froze as she thought back to how she has been treating you since that nurse encounter two days ago. She realized that she was just dramatic for thinking that the way you viewed her changed, a small smile and a nod doesn't make you guys friends. Besides, she was the only one that had reacted differently. Yours were the same, glancing away and looking down.

“You're right, I don't care.” She frustratingly mumbled, turning away from the table and you and pretending to care about the cringey gross couples dancing (she wishes she could have a girl and dance like that).

Your chest ached at the thought that she doesn't care, but you exhaled a breath you were holding when you realized she stopped asking who it was. You also didn't understand why you worded it that way in the first place. Why did you say that you cared about her? You wondered how she'd react if she knew about what happened, and really hoped she wouldn't find out about your new attraction.

You thought back to what Sam said, is it not that bad and you were being dramatic? Your parents were never religious, but they still never showed any sort of awareness about gay people. You thought about how your parents would react if you brought Elisa as your girl, and just the thought of her being yours made you smile.

You needed to accept it, but you didn't know how. So you glanced back at elisa now that you have admitted it to yourself, that you like elisa. Her face was still facing the couples, her hand holding the filled glass as her other hand was folded almost like yours.

“Why pink?”, you stuttered out, hoping to hear Elisa's voice again even if she was glaring from frustration.

“Hmm?” Elisa turned back to look at you with confusion and bent down to hear you. Now that the both of you are standing next to each other, she can see your face clearly and the effort you made for today. The soft pink makeup around your eyelids, the red pouty lips, the straightened hair, and the tight-fitted dress that made her eyes struggle to not look down. And all of this made her heart tighten, because all of this was for Paul. Not for her, for a guy that is a piece of shit and treats you awfully when she can treat you better.

Elisa kept in mind that when she said she can treat you better, she didn't mean it literally. She doesn't like you. In fact, she can't stand you no matter how many sweet interactions you can get into, you'll always be grossed out by her…or maybe you just can't stand to be around her for some reason (she has one in mind). She just said that theoretically, if Elisa had a girl, she would’ve treated her way better than that stupid guy.

“The tie,” you shakenly point at her tie as you avoided eye contact, “why the color pink?” Your mind started filling up with many thoughts, on why you even thought of this question, or what if she thinks you were mocking her outfit? You could’ve said anything else to start a conversation. You were never like this, you were socially bubbly and knew exactly what to say in situations. Why are you suddenly behaving this awkwardly?

It seemed as if Elisa had forgotten what she was wearing the way she looked down to look at the tie you were talking about. She stood up straighter and thought for a second. Normally Elisa would feel somewhat offended by the question, but she knew you meant no harm in asking and you looked like you were just curious, “to show people that at the end of the day I am still a girl.”

You stayed silent for a moment, confused by the response she just gave you, “but… pink is just a color I mean… how does that even, you know what? Nevermind.” You cringed out at the way you spoke to her. You should’ve just stayed quiet, especially by the way Elisa is side-eyeing you right now.

She cracked a smile when she saw your panic, “I know, I’m just kidding,” She turned around, now her front is facing the table edge on your right. She rested her hands on the edge as she leaned closer to you, making you lean back to the point where your butt is almost on top of the table. “I actually bought this awhile ago when I thought Fleur was coming with me before she injured herself.”

“Oh,” you looked down at her hands gripping the edge of the table, “so I’m assuming Fleur was meant to wear pink, right?”

She nodded, but before she responded you screeched out when you realized the music changed, “Woah, not this song!” She looked at you confusedly as you jumped off the table and looked around you embarrassed, “sorry I don’t even know why I did that. This is my favorite song of all time and I kinda got excited.”

Elisa laughed awkwardly, looking around the same direction as you to see what you’re looking for. But her eyes froze when she noticed it was Paul, and he was also looking around possibly for you. You knew Paul was looking for you, because no matter how many things he forgot about you, your love for this song is unforgettable.

You turned your glance to Elisa, realizing she’s also looking at Paul, “hey, I don’t want him to see me…he’ll probably try and get me to dance with him but I can’t even stand him after what he did today.”

“Umm… So do you want me to cover you or what?” she scrunched her face in confusion as she opened her suit jacket in a way to try and hide you from anyone behind her, including paul.

You were stunned for a moment, gaping at her before bursting out from laughter. For a second, you forgot about the fact you were trying to hide from Paul as you saw Elisa's pink flushed cheeks seeing you laughing at her awfully failed attempt. But you were thankful nonetheless, “I don't think this would cover me completely but thank you.”

She slowly returned the jacket back around her waist, buttoning the first button and turning around to check for Paul again. Elisa knew her face was probably red and burning, but in her defense, what was she supposed to do? She tried not to face you until her face cools down a bit so she tried to look for ‘Voldemort’ again. When she saw him, she smiled. Paul had stopped looking around and concluded that you probably was still in the bathroom. So now Elisa knew that Paul won't have to treat you like shit, “damn how much do you like this song that he even noticed you were gone?”

“Um… I used to sing it all the time back when we used to hang out together. The obsession was intense.” You suddenly felt so pathetic for your crazy obsession, but when you looked up to see Elisa, she had a fond smile.

“Yeah, I get it. I had a crazy obsession with one video game to the point where Fleur and Marie avoided me because I kept talking about it.”

You glanced back and saw Paul talking to Amy. And right now, you were glad that he was talking to her. Because you can just spend your time talking with Elisa and he won't even think about you.

“If I was really drunk and no one was around, I would be dancing right now.” You mumbled, frowning as you were humming the song. Elisa giggled at your comment, she took a step to the dark hallway and pointed to the place next to her.

“No one is going to look here.” Elisa's voice came out way more unsteady than she had expected. It's not like she's asking you to dance with her, she just wanted you to feel comfortable and enjoy prom. And it's your favorite song, anyone would want to dance to their favorite song without judgment, right?

You sighed as you looked down to cover your blushing face. Although your face doesn't usually turn red, it does show somehow that you're ‘blushing’... well, that's what Sam says when you do anyways. Is Elisa asking to dance with you? There is no way that's what she meant, you had just admitted your crush on her to yourself and now she wants to dance with you, is this a dream?

Besides, she doesn't like you. Her little nods and glances mean nothing. What if she talks bad about you to her friends, maybe that's why she glances at you… to find something to talk about. But as you looked up to Elisa, her face contorted to a stressful frown and you had just realized that she probably thinks that you're rejecting her.

“Okay,” you gave her a small smile as you walked towards her to the unlit hallway. Elisa gave you the same soft smile, her cheeks turning pink. In her head, a million thoughts are running through her head. Is she about to have a girl dancing with her like the couples she just called gross and cringey? Were you actually going to dance with a girl? Elisa thought you were against that, she thought you wouldn’t even accept the idea of being around her.

But right as you stepped near her, the music abruptly stopped making the both of you groan and slack your shoulders. “Are you serious? I didn't even get to enjoy the best part.” You talked under your breath as you awkwardly stepped away from Elisa, realizing you were getting a bit too close to her.

Elisa was frustrated as much as you. She actually didn't give a damn about the song, but the thought of her dancing with you in your cute dress and bright smile made her pray that the song would be playing for a whole hour if possible. But she had to remind herself that she didn't necessarily want to dance with you specifically, she just wanted a girl in her arms, any girl. Or maybe that's one way of trying to convince herself.

A loud voice from the speakers echoed through the venue, “hey everyone, I am Michael and sorry to interrupt your dance, but we will reveal prom king and prom queen now. You were able to vote for the contestants for the whole past month. And now, we have the list. For prom kings, we have me, Paul Badosa, and Adam Nuñes. For prom queens, we have y/n l/n, Amy Moreau, and Jasmine Ali,” You turned to look at Elisa with a look of distress. If Paul and you win, you would have to dance in front of everyone. You didn’t want to be around Paul, and just the thought of his hands around your waist gave you goosebumps…and not the good kind. “Drum roll please… the winners are Paul Badosa and y/n l/n, congratulations! And please come to the front for the crown and the dance.”

Elisa was praying for you not to win it when she heard Paul's name. But now she realized that you need help escaping this place before they try to look for you. She turned to look at your anxious face and tapped your bare shoulder, pointing to the small neon ‘exit’ sign on the end of the pitch black hallway. You gratefully nodded and walked to that door, knowing that if you decided to run you would either trip or your heels would make too much noise. You can hear the students calling out your name and looking for you, but you chose to ignore it. You didn’t want to dance with Paul, everything would be uncomfortable.

Once you delicately and slowly opened the door, you turned around to thank Elisa. But you didn’t expect her to be this close, your face almost bumping into her chest. You stumbled backwards from the shock, and Elisa wrapped her arm around your waist before you dropped. From the sudden surprise and fear of falling, you wrapped your arms around Elisa's shoulder, trying to find balance on your uncomfortable heels.

For a moment, the both of you froze clinging into each other. Elisa slowly stepped forward, making sure the both of you are completely outside so the students don't find you… especially in this sort of position with her. You didn't want to let go of her so you pretended to struggle with your heels. Embarrassment started filling Elisa when she could feel her heartbeat speeding up and she closed her eyes begging that you can't feel it against your chest.

You were the first to let go; you were afraid if she noticed something different with the way you were behaving or if she was uncomfortable with the way you were clinging onto her. Elisa's focus was nowhere near you, she was trying to calm her gay heart. Obviously, she had hugged girls before. But it was you, in a cute dress, in a party, clinging into her… that's different.

The both of you were avoiding each other's eyes while trying to calm down, you looked at the door behind Elisa to make sure it's closed and decided to ask, “why didn't you stay? It's prom and you should enjoy it.”

“And you're going home alone? You don't even have a ride and it's dark outside, it's not right.”

You sighed gratefully, pulling out your phone to look at how far is the venue from your house. Surprisingly, it was just a 20 minute walk. And although this may seem too far away, you knew it wouldn't be that bad.

You refused to call your parents to pick you up from here. You didn't want them to know that Paul had basically ditched you and humiliated you and Elisa around his friends. You felt shame knowing what happened, even if it wasn't your fault. It's embarrassing to not celebrate prom and leave early… especially when you were the ‘popular’ student in class.

“It's okay Elisa, the venue isn't far off from my house.” You opened Google maps for you to follow the steps.

“Y/n it's still 8 at night, why don't you contact your dad to take you the same way he dropped you off?” Elisa blurted out. She was worried about you walking alone, another reason to hate on the inconsiderate idiot Paul. She also hoped that you didn't notice that she knew how you came to the venue, not wanting to admit to you that she was eyeing all the way from the outside when you came through the open entrance.

You stayed quiet for a moment, not wanting her to know the reason why you would rather walk in heels for 20 minutes rather than contacting your parents. You groaned, “I just don't want them to know I left early, they're going to ask me all about it.”

From your frustrated tone, Elisa understood exactly why. She stepped forward and pointed to the sidewalk, hoping you would lead the way to your house.

“Elisa, I'm sorry.” Your features suddenly contracted into a pout, remembering how stubborn Elisa is and how she would never accept a ‘no’ response.

“Y/n, it's okay. It's not like I was enjoying looking at couples dancing and wishing I was in one,” She exhales, “Besides, the only reason why I came here is because I promised Fleur.”

She stepped forward again, turning around to face you and waving her arm over. Elisa felt that she may have been sounding desperate, but it's okay right? It's not like you were uncomfortable with her walking you home. You seem more relaxed around her, and maybe her assumptions about you were false. She saw the soft grateful smile on your face as you followed her, holding up your phone to follow the map.

It was a blissful silence between you guys for a short while. Both secretly enjoy each other's company while also panicking on what to say. You bit into your lip as you prayed that you'd stop shaking from the chilly weather, goosebumps all over your arms. It's the south of France in December, and you're just wearing a dress.

Elisa turned to look at your phone to see where the both of you should go after the turn, but she noticed your fingers shivering as you were grasping your phone. Her body stiffened, realizing that it’s her duty now to protect you from the cold. She wanted to impress you, but she also wanted to take care of you, suddenly feeling protective of you and your health. Elisa’s fingers slowly unbuttoned her suit jacket and she slowed down from walking to remove it.

Elisa wasn’t aware that you were also glancing at her. The moonlight made her look like she came from an anime. Because there is not a single actress that can portray the angelic scenery in front of you. Your eyes traced her neck and collarbone from your view, and you didn’t notice Elisa had slowed down until it started to become difficult for you to shamelessly stare at her without turning your neck.

When Elisa stopped, you copied her and decided to wait for her. Until you realized that she had removed her jacket and is handing it to you. Elisa was breathing heavily, her lips between her teeth as she waited for you to take it. She was afraid that you would see this gesture as ‘weird’. But when she saw you grin at her as your hand accepted the jacket, her shoulders loosened up and she confidently walked again. Elisa prayed that you can’t see the panic in the way she’s walking, she wanted you to view her as calm and collected.

But you weren’t even thinking of the way she was standing or walking right now, you were a blushing mess at the sweet action. You followed her to thank her, “thanks, but you probably need it more than me.” You were still holding onto it, refusing to wear it.

“No, it’s okay! I’m wearing two layers beneath this,” she shook her head as she pointed at her dress shirt, “I promise I came prepared.”

You grinned brightly, lifting the large jacket and wearing it. The sleeves were reaching your fingertips, and the edge of the jacket had reached even below your butt. You buttoned all three of the buttons, accepting anything that can keep you warm in the winter wind.

Elisa was eyeing you from the corner of her eyes. She tried to mask the pink of her cheeks when she saw how big the jacket looked on you. She was aware that she is taller than most girls, but it’s difficult for her to notice that when she is lanky and skinny. Seeing you swim in her jacket made her smile in pride, and also because she thought you looked adorable that way, in her jacket under the streetlight.

“Wow… so you were planning to give your jacket to another girl, I see.” You sarcastically accused her as you nudged her shoulder. She bit her lip as she looked away, “no, that's not what I meant! I just…it was cold so-”

“I know, I'm joking.” You giggled when you saw her stammer. She nodded at what you said and stayed quiet, stuffing her clammy hands into her pockets.

You glanced back at the screen of your phone, realizing there is only a minute left before you reach home. You glanced back to Élisa and asked, “Hey, I want to thank you for all of this. Even when you said you didn't even want to stay there, I still feel rude dragging you out,” You smiled at her, hoping that she'd accept the offer you'll make, “Do you want to come over and have dinner with me?... and my family of course they'd be grateful to meet the person that walked me home.”

Elisa's eyes widened at the thought of your parents seeing her. She immediately declined, “no it's all okay actually, thanks.” She gave you a respectful smile, hoping you wouldn't take offense in her refusal. But she can see the embarrassment and the way your lips frowned, and now guilt is filling her heart. She didn't mean to make you sad, she was just worried about how your parents would react when they see her.

You shrugged her response off, hoping she can't read the disappointment in your face. Your parents taught you that if someone helped you, you have to offer them something back in gratitude. Whether it's candy, dinner, gifts, etc. So for Elisa to leave prom and walk you home, you felt the need to give her something back.

“This is my house, it's pretty small but I'm an only child so…” you pointed at the house when you spotted it as you turned to Elisa, “I want to give you something since you aren't coming in. Can you wait?”

Elisa nodded eagerly as a response. She felt like she couldn't breathe this whole walk with you, and she knew she needed a small break to recover from what happened the whole day. She saw you step inside the house wearing her jacket, she screeched when she realized your family will see you with it, “wait!”

But you had already stepped inside and you found both of your parents in the dining room eating dinner. They saw you and gave you a smile, “Hey, how was it?”

“Good. Mama, where did you put those fancy chocolates?”

Your father didn't say anything, he was only staring at the oversized suit jacket you were wearing.

“Ohhh, is it for Paul?” Your mom winked at you, her left hand pointing at the kitchen cabinet.

You sighed in frustration, not knowing what to say. If you said no, they'll ask who. And Elisa clearly doesn't want your parents to know her, and you also don't want your parents to question everything that happened with Paul.

So you didn't respond and grabbed the box of candy. But when your hands reached out for it, you noticed the suit jacket. Shit! Your parents would definitely question everything because of this.

You ran quickly outside, opening the door and shutting it behind you.

While you were away, Elisa was scanning your house out of curiosity. When she looked up to the lit bedroom upstairs, she noticed a shadow staring outside directly at her. She nearly jumped from it, closing her eyes in embarrassment. But who would that shadow be? She saw a glimpse of your parents when you opened the door, and you are an only child.

She took a deep breath and slowly looked up again, but the shadow wasn't there anymore. As she tried to take a step forward to see it from another angle, you opened the door.

She flinched and looked back at you, “oh, hi! Hi again…”

You looked at her strangely and smiled, “I didn't want you to go home with nothing, thank you.” You handed her the box of chocolate.

Elisa looked at the box, it was her favorite holiday chocolate. She isn't allowed to eat them at all because they were expensive and prestigious, only for special occasions.

“Oh wow, are you sure?” She hesitantly held out her hands to take it.

“Yes, and also this.” You passed the box to her and removed her jacket, handing it to her too.

Elisa was stunned for a moment, the warm outdoor lamp your house had made the scene in front of her look straight from a movie. The way your hair danced around your shoulders, the way you were removing her jacket. She quietly accepted it, opening her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

You turned around to open your door, giving her a small wave and closed it behind you. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, hoping your parents won't barge in and ask you a million questions. When they didn't, you sneakily walked on the stairs to your room, but what you saw made you scream.

“WHAT THE FUCK SAM!” You almost tripped down the stairs from your heels. Sam was on the top of the stairs with a sly smirk, she had seen the whole encounter of you and Elisa. She was surprised to see you hand out those chocolates, because you refused to give her a piece of them from how special they are to you. So why did you give them to Elisa? She also saw the jacket exchange, and the way Elisa was standing there admiring you.

You took a deep breath, turning around to glance at your parents to see if they heard you. Your dad gave you a disappointed glance, and your mom showed you a hand gesture that means ‘wait’ (which means you're basically fucked but she can't do anything since your friend was there).

Sam pulled your arm and dragged you to your room, she shut the door with the key and jumped on your bed, “how was prom with Paul?”

You awkwardly walked towards your closet, pulling out a pajama set as you thought of a way to respond, “um… did you not see my message?”

“Oh I saw it,” she replied, “I was just wondering if he redeemed himself at the end? I heard that you won prom queen, but I don't see you with the tiara.”

You turned to look at her, “can you leave so I can change?”

She nodded and left the room. She was waiting for you to say what happened, she still didn't understand how you came home with Elisa while also wearing her jacket. She hoped you'd be honest and tell her the truth. Sam had gotten 3 calls from Paul asking where you went, he said he was embarrassed that you had ditched him and how he had to receive the crown alone. He also asked where were you, but she didn't have an answer to that, she didn't know either. And when she tried to call and text, it seemed as though you were ignoring her (now she thinks you were too busy with Elisa).

You opened the door to your room as your left hand was wiping the makeup on your face, “I'm too tired to speak, but I basically ran away ‘cuz I didn't want to be around Paul.”

“And who dropped you home? Did you get a ride?” Sam was pretending as if she didn't see you outside, and you glanced at her weirdly. Did she see us? Would Elisa be okay if Sam knew about this? It was nothing, right? She was just being a kind person.

“No, I didn't get any rides.” You responded, the third makeup wipe is now stained black from the mascara.

“Yeah no ride because she doesn't have a dick.” She snorted as she snacked on the barbecue flavored chips.

Your hands stopped rubbing your eyes as you turned to look at her with an open mouth, “Sam! What even was that?”

“Why didn't you tell me that you and Elisa ran away together? I thought we were besties.” Sam had tried so hard to not be hurt by this, but the both of you were friends for a while. And she thought you liked her by now to tell her everything. She understood why you wouldn't tell her about your crush, but why not tell her about this? Aren't you both friends?

“Sam, you are my best friend… I was just worried you'd see it differently.” You exhaled as you sat down next to her, holding her hand now that you've cleaned your face.

“See it like what?” She knew what you meant, but she needed you to say it out loud, maybe then it will be easier for you to speak about your feelings out loud.

“Sam… you brought up me looking pretty enough to attract Elisa, and I thought that maybe you would make jokes when you find out that she walked me home.” You looked down at your bare feet, they were sore from all the walking you've done tonight and you just need a rest.

“Okay… I'm sorry I did make jokes, but I just wanna know what happened for you to even gift her those chocolates!”

You groaned loudly, covering your face with a nearby pillow, “She left prom to walk me home! That's the least I could've done.”

She laid in your bed, removing the covers to get cozy. “And she gave you her jacket, she's really sweet you know? She's just a little awkward around you.” She can feel herself dozing off as she mumbled.

“Well, that's the reason why I don't think she likes me…But Sam, today I was really happy,” You smiled as you thought about what happened today, “She did everything she can to make me feel safe and comfortable.”

You laid next to Sam and waited for her response, but you could hear her light snores and she turned around to pull you into her, just how the both of you usually cuddle in sleepovers.

You couldn't sleep, just smiling at what happened with Elisa.

“Shit! Did she walk home alone?!” You shrieked as you stood up and took your phone from the bedside table, but you froze when you realized that you didn't have any of Elisa's socials. You went to Facebook and searched up her name. You stumbled on around 15 accounts until you found an account with a username ‘delameida5elel’ and the picture was Elisa holding a football with Fleur and Marie. You pressed on it and found a recent post,

Prom would've been better if I knew how to socialize around pretty girls :((

You froze, reading the sentence over and over to check if your eyes were fooling you. Elisa actually likes girls? And what does she mean it would've been better if she knew how to socialize around pretty girls? Is she saying that today wasn't good and she wanted to talk to actual pretty girls? Elisa didn't have fun today with you and hoped she'd be with pretty girls, unlike you.

Your happy spirits suddenly went down feeling like a sad deflated balloon. At least she's home safely or else she wouldn't post that.

You threw the phone at the table nearby and laid stiffly back. Sam's arms came back around you, but you pushed them away and shuffled all the way to the end of the bed and turned away from her.

I fucked up.

----

~does your mom ever pull the italian hand and you panic and pray?

~Google maps app was created just 6 days before prom😝

guys let me know what you think i need to hear your thoughts

[theindescribable1]

Hey guys, I just realized that there may be some really big misunderstandings and confusion on my blog that I was too oblivious to notice.

So, this is and was always supposed to be a role-playing blog where I play as a character, not as myself, and I played someone you guys know as Stirling. You thought that was my sona, but no, that's not me. He is supposed to be the protagonist and narrator of my blog and stories which is why he's often used, and when I answer asks, I'm still playing as him.

Ive made many jokes and comments in the past that were supposed to be from Stirling's POV, like it's him talking, and that was pretty much every post.

Im really sorry for all the confusion, but I have never revealed my real name, age, or even gender on here! I feel like it's very necessary to tell you guys all this, because I only now see that I never announced this before

Im not sure why, but I must've gotten too ahead of myself and forgot to make a post that explains my blog, or how it's supposed to work.

This is just to let you guys know, I felt like it was important to talk about. I don't want to feel like I'm lying to people, and it was completely unintentional. It's a weight I need to get off my chest.

I figured out that people really had no idea, and then I was nervous to say anything about it since reactions are unpredictable. Once again, sorry.

A lot of things I've said was not me irl speaking, it was all the narrator Stirling, but I may change that to avoid more confusion in the future? I know that people have been misgendering me because I played as a boy, and they thought it was me. My friends also played into teh roleplay, and really all of us thought the audience knew. (Carol, B.V, etc)

I'm a she/her and still count as a minor.

Now that I've addressed the problem, I hope y'all will just continue to enjoy my blog while keeping the role-playing aspect in your mind.

Don't let this completely fuck things up for you guys, I just had to tell you sooner or later while my audience is still mostly small and humble! Yeah I just made this blog when I was younger and never really organized it well, and it was too late to just restart, and people were already thinking I was a totally different person than who I really am, and my scared ass just started playing along, too nervous to correct it.

Now that I'm older, I'm here to address it before it becomes 'serious' (large audiences)

I'll be doing my best to make things less confusing and unorganized from here on out!

[keymanwritez]

Can you do them when you work at Buck's (the bar i in the outsiders) and you sing there? Like headcannons? Also ik you only have a little on your page but i'm already obsessed. 🫀(also im sorry if i spelt anything wrong it's like 3am)

Its no problem !!!! I'm perfectly happy to do headcannons of this prompt and sorry for responding late !!! I haven't been on this account a lot !!! Okay now onto the headcannons !!!

Working at Buckys and dating the outsiders !

(What a life !)

Ponyboy Curtis

°♡ Ponyboy didn't go to Bucks often, he didn't have a reason too. Well that was up until you showed up there

°♡ He watched as you sang in awe, barely containing his admiration as he watched on

°♡ He's hanging every lyric that you sang

°♡ You sounded like a goddess and he couldn't help leaning in to hear better

°♡ After that he seemed to be a more frequent guest at Bucks (Despite Dally and Buck not wanting him to be)

°♡ Has drawn you in your performance outfits or just you singing

Dallas Winston

°♡ He liked hanging at Bucks already, I mean he practically lived there but sometimes he did become bored or irritated by being there

°♡ Then you popped up

°♡ With your stupid singing, your stupid face, and you stupid body

°♡ No matter what you looked like though he loved your singing

°♡ He would never admit it of course but your voice singin' always made his mood better

°♡ It was like a drug he could never get enough of

°♡ If yall started dating he would begrudgingly and casually ask for you to sing for him

Johnny

°♡ Johnny did go often to bucks unlike Pony but he didn't really live there like Dally did

°♡ He was almost always there because of well. . . You !

°♡ He couldn't get enough of your singing and how you looked

°♡ He would be really nervous to talk to you especially with how amazing he saw you as but when he got to know you he fell head over heels once again

°♡ your personality was to die for not matter what it is

Two bit

°♡ From the first time he stumbled to the stage at Bucky's drunken, listening to you sing, he knew he needed to know you

°♡ He always said he felt like he was being lured in by your singing

°♡ Immediately after your done singing he attempts to approach you only to pass out in front of your feet

°♡ He is absolutely embarrassed when he realized what happened

°♡ he didn't drink the next time you were on stage, he wanted to make sure your second meeting was better than the first one

°♡ once y'all start dating he relentlessly asks you to sing

°♡ to sing to him, to sing for the gang, or to sing for no one aside from yourself

I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG I FORGOT ABOUT THIS BLOG !!! I STILL HOPE YOU LIKED IT THOUGH !!! SORRY NOT ALL THE BOYS ARE HERE !!!

[cyberluvzu]

what about dating hcs for Ben? what would be his way of saying “thank you” if someone bought/treated him to things? (in my head he is not the kind to just say “oh sick, thanks” so that’s why i’m asking 😭) how would he treat his partner? distant? lovey? like a friend? i yearn for other peoples input 👁️👁️

BEN DROWNED DATING HEADCANONS

Ben drowned x reader

HELLO!!! I like just posted SOME romantic and platonic hcs for him, it's js that I accidentally posted it before I was ready bc my phone fell on my face (and had to write the rest while it was already posted)😭😭. BUT I LOVE BEN AND IM GONNA DO MORE!!!!!

- His way of saying "thank you" to his partner would be like gift giving, physical touch, or services

- You got him a gift of any kind?

-HE WILL CHERISH IT BRO

- Doesn't know how to express that, through words

- He just feels a bit awkward doing it

- So instead, he resorts to the following

- Giving you something in return

- Maybe a cute piece of jewelry or something small, it fully depends on what you gave him first

- Physical touch

- Hugging, kissing, cuddles, hair playing

- You want it, he'll give you it

- HAPPILY MIGHT I ADD

- Finally, acts of service

- If you play video games he would absolutely cheat for you

- Would make sure you have the BEST EVERYTHING

- If you don't play games, then he's pretty much willing to do anything you ask him

- Just wants to see you happy

- He wants you to know that he's in love with you, but might not be able to say it

- Has a box for things you give him

- Looks through it from time to time and smiles thinking of you

- Also he would definitely see something cute in a video game and think of you

- A cute little bunny?

- Immediately thinking about you

- Something that remotely relates to you, in literally any way?

- You're Immediately on his mind

- He would definitely be SOMEWHAT clingy

- Would want to play video games with you

- Also cook with you!!!

- Someone please teach him how to cook, I'm on my hands and knees begging someone. 😭

- He just wants to be around you

- Any excuse to get to be in your general area

- In the kitchen?

- Suddenly he's thirsty (for you)

- Follows you around

- Almost like a lost puppy

-But not like a lost puppy because he's a serial killer 😭

- Kinda like a guard dog

- All scary to other people, but you know that he's sweet to you

- You get scary dog privilege with him

- Yeah he's short and whatever

- BUT HE'S FUCKING TERRIFYING 😭

- You know he's not like that with you, with you he's different, more gentle

- Would be sweeter too

- He just really cares about you and wants to cherish you

- Would ABSOLUTELY send you cute little pictures of two animals and be like "this is us"

-Wants to cuddle and watch YouTube videos with you

-------------------------------------------

I HATE PROOFREADING SO I AM NOT DOING ALL THAT TODAY BRO 🙏. I LOVE Y'ALL THOUGH 💋💋

Also this made me realize how much I love writing for Ben. Would y'all wanna see like a little Ben x Reader one shot?

[decolonize-the-everything]

I am in the process of getting a new doctor. And by that I mean my insurance dropped my first one roughly a year ago so I made an appointment with my new primary who was also dropped before a second appointment. Then I had a new one but I then I accidentally double booked my kids therapy for the same day and didn't realize til we were already at her appointment so I rescheduled a new one.

These are 3-6 months apart btw. That's what the wait-list for a primary is like here for me.

Anyway so I have a new appointment in September and this whole time I haven't been working ofc cuz im in pain 24/7 and even when I had a job I'd be sent home cuz I'd just start sobbing in the break rooms or I'd be late cuz I had anxiety and didn't want to go, etc (long list, tldr: I'd be a bad employee if literally nothing else). Besides that I've never gotten passed the interview stage when I was looking for a job here.

So yeah. September is when I see my new doctor who probably won't open my file until I'm in his office.

Remember that.

I go to an appointment about my cash benefits a few days ago, now right? I've talked to these people on the phone, they know what's up with my situation. They said they'd waive the obligations for me, nbd. And every now and then you gotta renew them too, just making sure youre still poor, haven't moved, etc. So I go in think it's a formality thing and they just wanna make sure nothing changed.

Nope. Nobody took notes or filed anything so it just looks like I have been blowing off obligations I had for 6 months :)

All this to say fuck them for giving me 30 days to see a new doctor that I literally I can not see until September when it's literally out of my power to make it happen faster. And I'll be lucky if this new person is willing to sign off on a brand new patients disability forms too.

After 30 days thats half of our money they take until I get those forms signed.

This is life for those of us who are queer, poor, & disabled parents of color.

Lots of people have lots of stigmas about me. And that's creates certain beliefs around me, most often that it can't be that bad or that I'm even making up how bad it is.

I'm telling y'all it's that bad. When my benefits get cut it won't be because I wasn't trying, I already have an appointment.

I can't work. My gf's paychecks are getting garnished (this means debtors are taking money btw). We're both deeply mentally ill even if we can't prove our physical disabilities.

When I tell y'all that these benefits and your help is the only reason we eat after they run out, believe me.

This blog is my lifeline and it's just hits different after the last few days to open my asks and see some dipshit saying more classist shit to me even on tumblr

And I know that someone like me does not have a safe space. Never did. Probably never will. But this blog is my lifeline so can y'all just....not?

Can you just leave me alone instead of projecting your awful beliefs about everything I am into my asks, please?

You don't know me. Quit pretending you do to justify all the hatred you have.

[pumpkinsy0]

HAITIAN SHEPARDS HISTORY WOOOOO

TLDR: the shepards are immigrants from haiti who escaped from this dictatorship and found themselves in tulsa, tim made himself to be this intimidating guy because he wanted to protect his family, especially angela and curly, and that's also kinda how the shepard gang came to be

ALRIGHT SO QUICK CONTEXT, In the late 1950s, haiti was already facing political instability and economic challenges, so in the 1960s in haiti, this guy named papa doc came into power. He was ur average politician, when trying to get into office, he would cater to the needs of poor people and other marginalized groups, promising to address to their needs. Skipping past some electoral fraud, papa doc won through bribery, intimidation, and all around manipulation. When he was in power, he quickly made sure to try and keep that power and grow it, even creating this paramilitary force called the tonton macoutes. Anyone who opposed him were crushed,LITERALLY ANYONE who went against him were mostly jailed, tortured, or even killed, civilians, other haitian politicians, activist, ANYONE. And as you would guess, he would also censor the media, and made sure people were only glorifying his rule, and papa doc would essentially steal resources for himself, and ignore the needs of the haitian people.

NOW THE SHEPARDS IN HAITI, i would imagine that they of course had to flee, in fear for their lives however, of course it wasn't easy to do. Bc of papa doc, there were restrictions on immigration. Papa doc viewed immigration a threat to his power and would heavily surveil ppl who he saw as his enemies (aka people who went against what he wanted them to say). NOW i hc the shepards mother to have been this activist or AT LEAST someone who spoke out against what he was doing. Before she say him as this hope, but she quickly realized what was happening, tried to speak out against him, and got on his bad side, and was now not only heavily censored, but also bc now she wants to leave haiti, she's also being watched by papa doc's people. To make it clear, (NOT DOING MY MATH JUST GOING ON MY HEAD), tim is like AROUND a tween and angela and curly are like idk 9 or something, curly and angela dont really understand what's going on because their mom is changing, she's less outspoken and more depressed, but tim understands because he's been reading what his moms been saying and listening into her conversations with other activist. But back to what I was saying, their mother wants to leave haiti but papa doc's people is harassing not only her but her family, trying to stop them from leaving the country and spreading what's happening. At some point, their mom pulled tim aside and told him to protect angela and curly and that's just always been engraved in his mind. Now skipping over some other things that would really just deter me from what I want to do in this post, immigrating to the US was HARD, because of papa doc, but also bc the us is just SHITTY. It was literally just hard for haitians who wanted to move to get the legal documents the legal documents they needed to get to emigrate legally and even if they did, it would always jut be a very lengthy and complex journey, with NO guarantee of success

now up to this point, you can either see the shepards as legal immigrants or illegal immigrants, however because they get into a LOT of legal problems, im gonna say that they are legal immigrants cause they def would've been deported or somethin

NOW WHEN THEY GET TO THE US, haitians MOSTLy moved to states like florida or new york, and some other states I can't name off the top of my head rn, but I think they did have someone in the US who was willing to help them and that's how they got there, if i didn't just imagine this shit, the shepards canonically have a step father, and so I feel like that's how they got to america, maybe their mother married him for a green card or whatever, Im not fully fleshing this idea out, maybe ill do it later, but y'all get what i mean, someone helped the shepard immigrate out of haiti, and either their mom, their bio dad, or their step father got the job, and so they found themselves in tulsa

obviously theyre facing racial discrimination, its the 1960s in america, its like dead middle of the civil rights movement, noirisme in haiti is still popping off and goin strong, so while the shepards are in a VERY racist time, they themselves, dont feel down or bash themselves for being black, they are VERY MUCH comfortable being who they are and wouldn't change that, and because people stereotype that in black people as being "rude" and "aggressive" sometimes, that's exactly what happened to the shepards, ESPECIALLY because theyre dark skinned I wanna make that be known right now

Going deeper into how this impacted tim, curly, and angela now!!!

So obviously, they have thick haitian accents, how they pronounce their r's isn't really pronounced, they speak kinda slow bc they have to translate what theyre saying, and they get laughed at for that, and that's where tim like, wanted to prove himself and wanted to protect his family. Even before moving to the us, tim HAD to step up and take care of angela and curly because his mom was really caught up in other things, so when their in a COMPLETLEY NEW ENVIORMENT??? that ramped tf UP, tim tolerated absolutely no disrespect from ANYONE about his family, and like I said, because of those stereotypes about black people, ESPECIALLY dark skinned black people, he was basically villanized, ADDING ONTO THE FACT NOBPDY REALLY UNDERSTOOD HIM BECAUSE HES A HAITIAN IMMIGRANT AND COULDNT EXACTLY COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE THE WAY HE WANTED TO?????? yea he was villanized BAD, and this would happen with curly and angela too, dont think it didn't, and that's how the shepards started building this idea of being 'intimidating' and people you 'shouldnt mess with', they knew the area they were in was really dangerous, and so they used this system that was already against them to protect themselves and their family, but also because they can be really intimidating people and WILL beat a bitch up

And long story short since this post is ALREADY long as shit, but that's also how the shepard gang came to be!!! as they got more and more used to being in america, they made friends with the people they could trust and started out as this group of friends like the curtis gang, but then they saw how important it was to have a gang in these times, especially when it came to greasers vs socs, and became this scary gang

ANYWAYS YAP SESH OVER, i didn't really spell check or flesh out some ideas or anything like that cause im running off of my asthma medication rn and im very shakey but omggg if y'all have any questions about this do tell me this is very fun for me to do

[vasito-de-leche]

i just realized something from each arcanist's voiceline, im not sure if u are ahead of me in this but anyways...

...their "monologue" segments, each of their monologue segments their most vulnerable they have ever been or the deepest they have ever opened up, at least for the ones that I have read.

for example:

- pavia admitting that every night it feels like he's still in piedmonte (by extension, that boarded up basement)

- blonney thinking why it's impossible for humans and arcanists to get along when they have similar interests like movies

- mesmer jr. screaming to stop being insane and leave her alone (poor girl is traumatized and a big F you to constantine and her family for being persistent in putting her in those situations)

- sotheby in yet another scene about how little she knows about distinguishing human things and arcane things (which is a problem for a young arcanist like her should she be unintentionally blatant about it)

- horropedia being glad that he is still himself despite the foundation's attempt to fit him in a mold

all in all, "monologue" segments are actually sad bits about our faves

A good chunk of the monologues are tragic, yeah - but I think that it's because we have the benefit of the full picture and we each have our own interpretations!

I just don't like to think of monologues as just exclusively sad bits for characters to show how sad they are or used to be in their lives? It takes away the nuance of how the character speaks about these things, if that makes sense!

I'll put the rest of my thoughts and ramblings under the cut so I don't keep clogging the main tag with nonsense <3

For example, Pavia's monologue - a popular interpretation of his character is that he's still traumatized by his past and the time he spent in the basement, therefore his monologue implies that no matter where he goes, he's still alone in that dark basement. From my personal reading on it, Pavia is a character who reclaimed the things that hurt him (the darkness, the isolation) and are now part of him (his wolves and shadow arcanum, his independence).

So to me, that monologue is a threat. I already explained this in detail in my first Pavia posts, so I'll spare y'all from the repetition lolol

Sotheby's monologue - you say that her lack of knowledge when it comes to differentiate human things from arcanist things is a problem. To me, this quote is just a highlight of her curiosity and her sheltered life, because she sounds chipper at the idea of learning new things. And I think it's a monologue meant to focus on her curiosity, because her Insight II is "World on the Other Side" which shows Sotheby inside a glass cage, looking outside to the real world.

The outside world is different from what I imagined. There are more arcane animals than I thought ... Humans are also more interesting!

And one can still continue to look deeper into this monologue and relate it to the full context of her situation to have a different reading!

Maybe someone else thinks this quote is extremely fucking tragic, because we're talking about a rich, privileged and sheltered girl who relied heavily on her caretaker, Mr. Karson, and now that he's gone, she's left to explore the world all on her own! Maybe it's a really lovely and happy quote, because it shows Sotheby's growth, still excited to learn about the outside world! Maybe it's all at once!

And Blonney's monologue, to me that's not a tragic voiceline at all but a rather hopeful moment for Blonney, a moment of thoughtful consideration which contrasts the "Blonde Bimbo" stereotype she's been cast in and shows how observant and attentive to detail she can be.

Is it true that humans and arcanists cannot live in harmony? We have so many things in common to share and enjoy, like the movies. As I learned about humans from the movies, so can humans learn about arcanists ... It's just that no one has made such a movie yet.

From my reading on this monologue, Blonney very clearly believes it's possible for humans and arcanists to live in harmony - it only takes for both sides to consider each other's perspectives. She's lived among humans, she's learned about humans through their movies. But she's ignorant about arcanists because of the way she was raised, because of the lack of exposure she's had to arcanists and their world.

No one has made such a movie, but maybe her, an arcanists that's experienced the duality of everything, a bimbo who is majoring in film, a major that everyone insists is wrong for her because it doesn't fit her image - maybe she can make such movie.

Yes, it's a sad monologue because of the context of subtle oppression towards arcanists, because of what we know about Blonney's life and all. But to me, it doesn't end on a sad note. Especially with how driven and outspoken Blonney is.

It's the same for Horropedia's monologue for me - yes, he's serious when talking about the way the Foundation and the way they continue to cut away all the unwanted parts of the arcanists they take in, but it also ends on a nice note. He's relieved to have survived being true to himself, he's relieved Vertin was able to do the same.

And then there's Mesmer Jr.'s monologue - this one is, without a doubt, an awful moment for her. Given what we know about her background and family, from either the main story or the Three Doors update, we can safely assume this is her having a panic attack of sorts, steming from her trauma and long-term internalized hatred/fear/disgust towards arcanists.

This is the most objectively sad and tragic monologue out of these. But what of the reading?

Is this Mesmer Jr. being comfortable enough around Vertin to let her see such a violent and vulnerable moment? Someone could easily read this as Mesmer Jr. and Vertin's relationship being repaired slowly to allow such display of vulnerability, the same way someone could easily read this as Vertin just stumbling upon Mesmer Jr. having the worst time of her life. Someone might also interpret this as Vertin doing something that caused Mesmer Jr. to react like this!

A few other examples I have at the top of my head that can differ greatly depending on the way you choose to read it...

Bette's monologue, for example!

 I've dreamt forever about my first character, not as a rich young man, a courageous adventurer, a fair or rich lady, but the first character starred by me, Bette with brown hair! I have noted them all in this notebook, which is called "My Script."

Is this voiceline sad? It can be, if you choose to intepret it as Bette's inability to get a starring role, while all of her dreams of being the protagonist are kept in a notebook that no one else will read or notice. It can also be inspiring, if you choose to interpret it as Bette holding on to the belief that she herself - not a character that she plays, but herself as a person - is important, even if no one else notices. Again, it can be this and that or both or none or all at once!

Or Baby Blue's monologue!

People at school once called me... Umm, how do you say that word? Ah... Crazy! Sad? I'm not sad... They told me that the most outstanding people were all crazy...

Yes, this can be sad, because we're talking about a 17 year old girl who was so disillusioned with her real life that she feels more comfortable in a world of illusion, while her real body remains comatose. And yes, this can be happy, because we're talking about a 17 year old girl who found a place that she truly feels alive in, where she finally has peope who understand and care for her.

I think I might've lost the point of the post somewhere through the rambling - but yeah! I don't like to think of these voicelines as just sad bits, especially with how much detail and attention the writing of R1999 has, all the love they put into all characters <3

[winryrockbellwannabe]

16/60 dop - [29/December]

(not me adding the date after 16 days bc i realized i lost count of the days and had to count it since the date of my first dop lol)

Today, i was weirdly productive. In the morning i barely did anything, so i was a bit worried the whole day would be wasted, since i made plans for dinner with some friends. But thankfully that didn't happen, and im having a really productive afternoon 😌

so:

✅ last night i finally finished studying quantum physics. which, thank god, bc that was taking a lot of my time, and tbh i was a bit done with the Schrodinger's equation lol

✅ today i revision about half? of my biostats topics. which was way better than i was expecting, i was avoiding this sm bc i thought biostats would be a pain in the ass for studying, but it isn't that bad so far.

but to be fair, the first topics are just about machine learning and stuff like that, which i already knew about bc of my internship, so we'll see if i still find biostats "not that bad" once i actually study the statistics bit lol

✅ finally finished watching the Spiderman Across the Spiderverse movie AND IT'S SO GOOD. the first one was already really good, but this one was amazing, i really understand the hype

✅ practiced a bit of piano. i mean, it's not really practicing, i just play the songs i already know by heart to make sure i don't forget them lol. but it's practice anyways

and now in the evening im going to have dinner with friends, so that will be nice

Hope y'all had a wonderful day💜

[divinequo]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I WATCHED THE SEASON 2 EPISODE 6 TRAILER AND IM SO FUCKING PSYCHED I HAVE YO RANT ONG OMG OMG OMG OMG IT LOOS INCREDIBLE

⁉️⁉️‼️‼️‼️WARNING THIS HAS SPOILERS PLUS SCREENSHOTS FROM THE TRAILER SO LIKE UH SCROLL AND GO AWAY IF YOU WANNA REMAIN UNSPOILED YES YES MM MM YES⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

OK FIRST OFF HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I GOTTA RANT ABOUT THIS FIRST SINCE IT'LL PROBABLY TAKE THE LONGEST BUT WE HAVE BEEN THEORIZING ABOUT THIS GUY FOR YEARS.

YEAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRSSSSS!!! AND NOW ITS BEEN CONFIRMED HE'S SOME SORT OF ANTAGONIST IT LOOKS LIKE? WHICH HOLY SHIT OMG IM SO SIKED I LOVE HIM ALREADY HES THE BEST VILLAIN EVER ONG (I know the episode isn't even out yet let alone a English version but let me be delusional I'm happy and excited) but anyway AAAAAH HE LOOKS SO ORDINARY YET SO MENACING???!? from blending in with the background characters in episodes and appearing to be spying on Dee in his qna, as well as his wanted posters, we will FINALLY GET SOME SORT OF INFORMATION AND CHARACTER INTRODUCTION!!! (May I add he strikes a strange resemblance to Gustav? No? Just my opinion? Ok) OMG AND I JUST REALIZED HIM FLIPPING THE KEYS?? WAIT WAIT HEAVY SAID TO VICTORIA IN SEASON ONE HIW HE LOST HIS KEYS AGAIN, AND THATS ABSOLUTELY THEIR HOUSE KEYS YOU CANT CONVINCE ME OTHER WISE, IT LITERALLY COMES FULL CIRCLE, NOT MENTION LIKE, BRO WHY DOES HE WANT THEM TO NOT GO HOME? DOES HE WANT THEM AWAY FROM THEIR PARENTS? IS HE FORCING THEM TO TALK TO HIM? OR DID THEY FIND HIM AND NOW HES MONOLUAGING???? OMFG IDK, ONE THINGS FOR SURE IS HE IS DOING SOMETHING NEFARIOUS TO THIS ABANDONED AMUSEMENT PARK, TBATS WHY HES ON THE WANTED POSTERS INNLIFS INTRODUCTIONNEPISODE HOLYYY FUUUUCKKKKK GUYS I LOVE HIM, HES MY NEW FAVORITE VILLAIN, I really hope this doesn't age like milk me saying I love his little character *sweats nervously*

And can we just TALK and take a moment to ADMIRE the artwork of the backgrounds and main surrounding pieces?? LOOK AT THIS!!

And yk the metal families profile picture on YouTube? Yk... The clunky old sign no one cares about?

FUCKING LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK

IT WAS PLANNED ALL ALONG GGGG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGGGGEXDCRFVFY UGC YFDXYREXYRDXTDDXTD STD FDFH THEIR PROFILE PICTURE IS LITERALLY, GENUINELY FROM THIS EPISODE, it is NOT coincidental, THIS MADE ME LOVE IT ALL THE MORE!! it feels so special now knowing this knowledge and though this part isn't THAT important i still had to mention the shock I got from seeing it in the trailer :))

Last thing I wanted to mention is these two lovely little gumdrops!!!!!!!

ommmgggg THE SHIPPING BAIT ABOUT TO HIT HAAARRRDDD i paused on like a smear frame, basically their hiding from the security guard because it's night time and they snuck in!! Omggg do you guys even realize what this MEANS????!!!!?!?!?! this means we'll also get maybe a few scenes if our and Dee together ALONE, idk what is up with my brain but I never really shipped them that much or cared to ship for them until seeing THIS, maybe I'm just really pathetic in my own love life but the way lif is holding onto Dee (for protection and to hide yk) is SENDING me, it is cute, so special and precious, and I need them to start dating, I am officially their number one shipper now (omfg if they become canon in this I will cry myself to sleep istg I'll be so happy knowing I can rest over these cartoon lovers getting together XP)

Oh oh and what do y'all think heavy could be doing while we get some life and Dee scenes? Or while this scene specifically is happening?? My guess is they caught sight of the "glasses kid" and heavy volunteered to go follow after him in suspicion, omg I can't even fathom getting so much new heavy screen time, he's only my all time favorite character, aaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

That's pretty much it, I give my upmost respect and admiration to DiMA, Alina, and every single voice actor, artist, animator, inspirations, etc of this entire show, they all deserve the world and a medal for giving us this spectacular series, that upon now seeing this trailer has made my metal family hyperfixation AWOKE deeply and fiercely

I couldn't find a truly perfect reaction image to seeing this new metal family trailer, so here's this one I drew, have a lovely day/night everyone♡

[leonscape]

i knew one of your friends are gonna snitch this to leon, i told you so 👀.

about your birthday yesterday, it made me shipped you guys more from you interacting him in his ask blog 🤭, look how much he's happy for you and seemed sad he didn't realize your birthday sooner cuz no one told him, he seemed to fond of you, yk 🫣.

y'all are really wholesome and you would probably cook and bake for him (if you had motivation too 👀), so cute the way leon tried one of your cupcakes and love it 😍, waiting for you guys to be couples already and be official, again im not giving up on my suileon agenda 🗣️✊🏼🔥💯‼️.

who knows maybe ill create a fanfic between you two 😉 /j (if only i know how to, my writing is usually full of basic words, no advanced stuff or smth).

just take your time to slowly be with him, mrs. dompteur 😏 (love the slowburn happening ❤️🔥).

- sincerely yours,

🐷 anon ( a.k.a piggly )

plus you didn't even tell me when should i stop yapping with you 🤔- so i guess ill keep going 😙✌🏼 you're one of the best leon stan accs i ever met here 💟.

i mentioned something about offering a cupcake to him and she just kinda did it for me 🧍🏻‍♀️

also you don’t have to have fancy or advanced stuff in your writing. sure it might provoke a deeper reaction but i think all that matters is that you can deliver a story in a way that makes sense. some writers get caught up in trying to make it sound complex when it doesn’t need to be, the story is just fine the way they tell it (you can worry about fancy stuff later in the future or when you’re editing)

just saying.

and i’m not mrs dompteur haha 😅

[nerves-nebula]

To the last anon, when it comes to Rise crossovers with 12 and how they handle ‘healing’ its done in a ‘holy-than’ tone. Especially with newer fans. When the arise movie dropped and crossover content was being made it was A LOT of 12 bashing in said fics. Like ‘Unfamiliar Familiar’ and ‘The fight for Mikey’ it was handled in such a bad faith way and reached such a wide audience that if i were to open a crossover fic for 12/Rise the predetermined ideas of ‘2012 brothers/Splinter are abusive’ ‘12 Mikey is innocent’ ‘12 April is a bitch’ are there.

Its why so many of us 12 fans vehemently speak out about it in a strong manner. A few of us are open to discuss it but the pool has already been tainted so to speak.

OH SO WE'RE JUST NAME DROPPING FICS NOW??? with like real people behind them and stuff?? ok damn i guess i really did kick the hornets nest here.

anyway, i read an ok fic once that i dont remember the name of where the rise bros were like "you guys are really mean" and the 2012 bros were like "y'all aint perfect either" and they kept fighting each other because of some sort of dimension thing where only one of them could exist in the same universe and it was an interesting enough premise i guess.

i stopped reading it cause the writing was a little too on the nose for me (like, people just saying exactly what they mean in an emotional situation sorta thing) but it wasnt the worst.

i think i also read a bit of unfamiliar familiar but i dont remember much about it. I guess I didn't notice that was character bashing? then again i never had a huge attachment to 2012 so i probably took the "2012 doesnt deserve mikey so im giving him to rise" thing as more lighthearted than you would if you like. were attached to 2012 and had strong opinions on them hah.

I assumed that the author was interested in telling a story about an abused kid who gets taken in by a new family, and just used 2012 tmnt to do it. I guess my blind spot comes from the way I view stories as vehicles for someone to express themselves. so i care more about the story itself and what it explores (usually abuse) than like, if they're being unfair to characters.

but yeah, having major fanfics that spread a version of 2012 dynamics you don't agree with/like is sure to rub ya the wrong way. I totally get the irritation there.

I read a fanfic that was similar to that actually, where 2012 Donnie and Mikey ran away cause home life was really bad, and it was written so well that I fell in love immediately. My favorite part was that we had parts from everyone's POV's, Donnie, Mikey, and then after they left Raph and Leo. AND it was going to be reconciliation too!! like they were going to get better and all this cool stuff, and the way it handled trauma and coping and healing was sOoOOOO good. unfortunately it was never finished, but yeah. i guess that's my ideal 2012 abuse fanfic that i'm always chasing the high of. it also scratched a particular itch i have for running away, and the tense feeling surrounding the lead up to you running away.

SIDE NOTE I have noticed some weirdness around 2012's female characters, but i think I have another ask that goes into that so I'll save it for there.

ANYWAY thats a long ass way for me to say "oooh i didnt realize that, i see things X way but it's clear to me now that a lot of people see it Y way. that's fair, anyway let me rant about other fanfics i read" haha

[tacticalhimbo]

so!! i finished watching runs of phantom liberty... and vin's getting a new canon. this dlc and its new ending are canon for him.

i just think the storyline does a great job at showing what vin really wants, and what it takes for him to realize that.

dlc storyline spoilers under the cut, even if they're pretty out of context/explained horribly.

also if ya see this twice very sorry posted this on my rp blog too but i post abt vinny a lot here so y'all get the character development too ♡ i'm so fucking normal (lie)

when this happens is after? you talk to the vdb. so vin's already been up shit's creek by this point. there's the shit with ev. the shit with takemura. the shit with the cados. he's been tugged around.

and then? then his relic gets hacked! and he's told to get his ass to the most dangerous part of nc? alone? yeah. yeah. he's not happy. johnny isn't either, but at this point vin's at a low and honestly could see him following songbird hoping to die.

and then he gets everything thrown on him.

- hey i need your help saving the president.

- hey im the president i need your help getting out of here, the attack came from the inside and i dont trust anybody.

- hey youre now a federal intelligence agent and tour making contact with a sleeper agent bc my runner that contacted you went missing thx.

he's already there, fuck it. maybe some gonk-brain will kill him. but. but!

there is a part of him still kinda hopeful. maybe one more step and he gets the help he needs. one more contact. one more task. and it just. keeps. going.

he's pulled into the monotonous bullshit he tried so hard to escape from. being pulled around on all these fronts again, especially as it comes out songbird is the traitor; this has been in the works for what? months now? because she knows about militech's own version of soulkiller and she, being led on by meyers, was used as a bow and made a portal for the blackwall to conduct govt espionage.

but it just. keeps. getting. worse!

songbird leaves him for dead. reed is stonewalling him. alex is fucking dead. johnny's quieter than usual. he's all alone in fucking dogtown and the only person he feels REMOTE TRUST for is feeding him nothing. and it sucks! but he's still trying to believe that he'll get that out.

and there's so many good convos with the characters in this dlc about morality, mortality, and consequence.

and it ultimately ends with vin trusting reed and them breaking songbird outta maxtac custody, bc surprise the blackwall connection makes you go cyberpsycho. and she makes it to the derelict militech lab that u go into alone alone, bc johnny gets sliced and ur comms are fucked. and there's this whole sequence of almost dying, being hunted alien isolation style by a blackwall ai controlled spider mech, and then you find songbird and she BEGS YOU to kill her. BEGS. and vin just... cant.

it's ironic coming from him considering so many of his dumb decisions are an expression of his suicidality, but he helps. he continues to help!

and even after, he's treated like shit. reed keeps stonewalling him. president myers is a cunt who cordially reminds him of the oath he took and the nice, tight leash she has around his neck.

and then? when he's finally "rescued"? ||he doesnt even say goodbye to anyone. and that hurts the most. arasaka ending sucked, sure, but this? no rooftop talk with misty. no goodbye to vik. just a text explaining he'll be outta town for a bit. and then it ends up being TWO YEARS. HE'S IN A COMA FOR TWO YEARS. ALONE. IN LANGLEY.

and when he wakes up, reed continues. to. stonewall. him. keeps it vague. apologizes, sure, but even now he cannot bring himself to actually care. which is understandable when you look at his character but. vin is livid.

there was no closure. no guarantee he'd even wake up. he could have up and died and nobody would ever fucking know!

and then he gets back to nc and... oh.

oh things changed. things really changed:

- vik became a corpo doc, working for some zetatech corp. he says he didn't have a choice.

- misty is just gone. you run into her after getting jumped by street mercs, and she's on her way to poland.

- arasaka? fucking gone. takemura and hanako went into everything alone and *hanako just up and fucking died.* no explanation. dunno if yori killed her or what. but takemura is in hiding now bc they believe he killed hanako *and* saburo. then yori stepped down as ceo all together.

- didnt see the others' calls so idk what happens with panam, judy, and river, but it can't be much better for them.

and i just...

the whole idea of vin being forced into the background being both a relief and a terror to him is so... it's so good. the idea that he lost everything again, but he now has control over that.

it fucks him up, that's for sure. the dialog you have with reed? with vik? with misty? some real shit. he's on the verge of that suicidality again, but he lived. he can live. he has control over that now.

and it's for the first time in a long time, considering the fact he worked with arasaka counter-intel. he awaited death for so long, knowing it could come at any second, that there's a... bitterness. in losing that feeling. a confusion in the fact he can just. exist without consequence.

this is really the meat of it tho. the last bit. the fact that vin is both the exact same man he was and someone entirely new.

the fact that he changed and didn't. that he's messy and there is no truly happy ending for him, that he's just... human.

that in the end, he still fucked over johnny (except at least in the arasaka ending, he was kinda understanding to a point. here? he's just angry. dejected. vin's last words to him were that he couldn't forgive him for the shit he's done to his body) and still LOST the game of life.

he still lost. but he lost in the best way possible.

the legend of v is out there, but he doesn't have to be that. live up to it. he can just be... him. and i think that's all he really wants, in the end. to learn who he is and to be him. a chance to just exist without consequence. to not have to make choices on who gets harmed and why. to make choices of dire urgency. to just... breathe.

it just took so much for him to realize that, and it's going to weigh on him for god knows how long (if not his whole life, whatever remains of it).

[lindszeppelin]

She's telling people to block her, but then allows her friends to send her screenshots of people talking about her. That's what we mean when we say she has spies stalking people for her. People who blocked her are being stalked by her friends. I didn't want to put my story out here, but y'all cowardly anon Mollie shooters left me no choice.

I know this because it happened to me on twitter. I have her blocked there (and here), and I discovered that she somehow got a screenshot of my tweet, probably because her friend was following my page (which, I should add, is private! No one can see my tweets unless they're following me) and clearly told her I was telling someone else about her. In my defense, it was because that someone else was asking about gossip she had heard. Gossip that Mollie's spreading.

I hate to admit that I was once a follower of Mollie's, and I once tried interacting with her here and on twitter. But I regret it because every time I tried talking to her, I'd get ignored. So I gave up and soon realized that I had made a mistake in thinking she was a decent human being.

There's a reason the Broadway fandom dislikes her and still talks about her now that she's left that fandom. She's not making many friends here either. And if she has friends telling her that people are talking about her, maybe she should listen to them and not make jokes about it instead. If she's really hurt by it, then her friends are shitty for telling her that people talk about her. But she's clearly not hurt, since she made her layout dedicated to what people have said about her.

If she hates people talking about her, then she needs to really think about how the people she gossips about feel. But she didn't listen to the people who already came forward to her with their feelings, so I doubt she gives a damn about the people she claims to stan or their publicists coming across her blog and reading what she wrote about them.

Austin said his publicist told him all about the voice discourse and now he's self-conscious and is doubting himself/his voice. How do we know that he isn't also aware of Mollie taking the rumor Vanessa's fans started about him cheating with Olivia and using it as a hot topic for her blog, imagine how he'd feel if he discovered that his own fans now think he's a cheater because of her blog. Olivia is all but slut shamed in those posts about her and Austin, so imagine how she'd feel if she knew about them. I'm also sure Kaia wouldn't appreciate being a topic in the blog either.

Except we're not gossiping about her, and we're not bullying or harrassing her. We're all sharing our stories because we deserve to be heard. If she has a problem with that, then she should practice what she preaches. Use the block button. Her friends should block us too instead of coming at us for saying how we feel.

If you know your friend is triggering people with her gossip, is ignoring people's feelings, is acting like our feelings don't matter and you're letting her act this way, that says a lot about you as a person.

hi diva babe, thank you for coming forward with your story <3 you've got a safe space here to share about your experience. and im so sorry to hear that she harassed you

i will say that yes i agree, its not like austin is okay with gossip. he clearly does not like it and stays away from it. and he is affected mentally by it. so...the topic of gossip is really one that should be boiled down to gossip inherently is toxic and can feed upon negative perpetuations of real life people

[nottheweirdest]

Ooohhh boy do i have some recommendations for you that I really hope you like and can help with inspiration. You've already gotten so many good ones, what an awesome fan following you have haha.

First Day Of My Life - Bright Eyes

Kinda just a happy lovey fluff song that i can picture those 2 fitting with.

I apologize ahead of time cause the rest are all angsty xD i listen to a lot more angst for drabble inspiration lol.

Jacked Up - Weezer

Chapter 6 Many Mistakes - Jax Anderson (I like to picture this one with shadow hurting sonic in some way, then sitting alone being depressed with regret)

Francis Forever - Mitski (The idea of them being apart or one dying, probably sonic, and the other having to live on without is just too strong of angst for me. I love it)

Lonely - Nathan Wanger (Pure shadow angst focused on him being alone and unable to break it)

Eet - Regina Spektor (More of them being seperated/apart. Similar to francis forever)

Saturn - Sleeping At Last (This one is a big oof for me. Im sure youll understand if you listen)

Anyways thats all! Sorry for the song dump, ive just been sitting on a few for awhile and this is a perfect opportunity to share. Hope you enjoy, and hope your hectic busy life becomes more manageable soon!

Yay!! I can't wait to give these a listen!! And I know, so many good recs and I seriously couldn't ask for a more amazing following 🥰🙏. Y'all are coming through for me!! 💖

So funny, I've heard First Day of My Life before (I listen to lots of folk and folk related music, especially the mopey stuff lol can't help myself) but I'd never looked up the lyrics. This is so good and sweet. It immediately made me smile. Honestly... I'm adding this to my Coming Home playlist And so I thought I'd let you know Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow But I realized that I need you And I wondered if I could come home It's perfect.

On the rest, like I said lol I do a lot of mopey folk type music and I already recognize some of these 💖 Jacked Up I'd not heard and I like it a lot! I can see this fitting with them easily. Chapter 6 and Francis Forever are both def angsty but I especially like the tone of Chapter 6 🥺 Lonely.... oof. That one hits waaaaay to close to home. It's so good. Instant add to my liked songs and my Shadow playlist. 🥺 Eet by Regina Spektor is so good. She's got lots of good stuff. Sleeping at Last I've listened to a lot over the past few years. In fast, this song was already on my liked list and yeah. I get why you'd list it here so don't mind me while my heart breaks over here and I die a little inside. 😭 It's a beautiful song. I love that you shared these, thank you SO much!! And thank you for the note about crazy life. Tomorrow is my last training that I have to give for at least the next three months. I'll still have to create training and do presentations and what not but I can at least take this off my plate for a bit so really hoping to rest up a bit over the summer!