#im trying to cope i know they won't have a happy ending but no one can ever convince me that the love for each other will be gone entirely

[eggbertith]

if they're both alive at the end of the show i like to think that, even if they get separated for good, they will find comfort in truly knowing that the other is still out there

[quality-on-a-patch-of-awesome]

So I might have an idea

Price is immortal. The other guys reincarnate. So Price has been alive for thousands of years and lived countless lifetimes (he started counting at first, but gave up after a hundred times of moving countries when people started noticing that he wasn't aging). And then the rest of the boys (I literally only know Ghost and Soap and Gaz so im sticking with them), he's met them so many times before. Sometimes, it's all three of them at once. Sometimes, just one or two of them, the other(s) having already died by the time they manage to find their way to each other. There's probably even been times when he lives an entire lifetime without meeting any of them. He probably gets the biggest headache when it's just Soap and Gaz.

And Soap and Ghost?

Price has watched them fall in love in so many lifetimes, in so many countries, in so many ways, but every time they first meet and they jump straight to antagonistic, he refuses to tell them what's coming. Because it happens every time. They fall in love every time. And then they die. They always die. He watches them lose each other and how it breaks them, even if he learns after a while that they're always going to come back. Maybe he'd give them more time together if they knew or maybe it'd make things worse. It won't matter either way because they'll love and they'll hurt and they'll die and do the whole damn thing over again in another 30 years or however long it is this time.

Maybe Price told them all what was happening one time. And they still died anyway. And the next time they all found their way to each other, no one else remembered and he didn't want to do that again.

And then Gaz.

Gaz, who Price has been in love with for centuries, maybe even millennia. Gaz, who he's seen die a thousand deaths. Who he's held as he died more times than he cares for. Who he's seen not recognise him in too many lifetimes. Who he's lost and gotten back and lost again. He knew, seeing Gaz die for the first time, that he couldn't love him and lose him and be able to stand having Gaz not recognise him the next time they see each other. So he keeps as much distance as he can.

Until their last lifetime.

Price couldn't stand not being with Gaz for a second longer. They had a few good years together. They were happy. Until it ended the same way it always does. Gaz died all over again. Bloodier than it had been in a long time- war will do that to you- and wrapped in Price's arms and trying desperately to hold on, for all the good it did.

And then Gaz was gone.

Again.

Until now.

Gaz wanders into the 141 and Price has no idea how he's supposed to cope.

[ccaptain]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: sam!! yes with the !!. imperative (i'm joking) but I also respond to Zack!

PRONOUNS: she/her, they/them!

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: until I'm comfy giving you my discord IMs will have to do!

NAME OF MUSE(s): Kaeya Alberich. in fact, multiple Kaeya Alberichs. In his Fatuiverse, he named himself Ambroise Petrov. ...... I have a lot of verses ok-

BEST EXPERIENCE: OH, MAKING HIM A FUCKING. HSR VERSE. so many more interactions and people interested in my essential appropriation in the Enigmata path and lore..... sorry hoyov.erse. this is mine now. i'm making him friends and ships and i move the lore now

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS:

- Do people still read an heartfelt, emotional reply from their partners and don't come yelling in their DMs about it as soon as they can?? That's the highest thing that puts me off on my list of Things That Put Sam off and you won't get the same effort off me if this happens consistently! sorry.

- everyone but me has square icons...................... where is the rotund. where is the round. PLEASE @ MY FELLOW ROTUND ICONS COME TO ME I'M AFRAID (I love y'alls icons im jk)

- If you start acting weird/spiteful because you assume my actions are sending a message you don't vibe with, your best bet is coming to ask me directly what I was trying to do/say. Me reblogging an ask meme/headcanon I made multiple times during the day is not to desperately attract your attention and coercing YOU specifically into sending me one: most of my rp partners have wonky timezomes but still want to read what I wrote/try to interact and this is faster than sending links to 8+ people. If you don't plot with me/send me ask memes, then there'll always be next time. Don't overthink it and don't make it weird, I exist in my own space and do my own things and I'll be happy if you want to vibe with me.

MUSE PREFERENCES: muses who have been damaged emotionally and still come on top of it ''well'' while hiding some sort of traumas...... muses with masks, multiple layers. onion muses that get vulnerable and get peeled layer by layer, painfully raw by the end of it. muses with skewered morals who learn with surprise that they can think in other ways than the ones they've been taught. in fact, H:SR Kaeya is an amalgamate of everything I like in terms of muse's personalities smashed together

PLOTS OR MEMES:  MEMES. faster to plot on, versatile, takes the awkwardess of the first plot off entirely if we're trying to interact, and I can adapt them to almost anything. I wanna say both, but plots are harder to start due to busy lives expecially if those require a starter :( i wanna say that we can mix both... start a plot with an ask meme that turns into a thread. that I can do and is a very good compromise for me

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: 4 paras for each reply or assume I have been alien-napped by weird beings and switched with an impostor who wasn't left a script to follow to impersonate me.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: EVENING... if i'm not drawing or chatting with people or playing, I crack my fingers after my afternoon nap and kick in gear. lock in. ..... then I get distracted but that's another story

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): HOOO BOY I HOPE THE FUCK NOT. maybe i'm more like Wriothesley in terms of muses despite his blog collecting dust: I cope healthily and am normal? I think??

tagged by: i stole it from myself. ultimate thief level tagging: HMMMHMMHMHM who hasn't done this already... mmmmm @predvestnik and @dupliciti as usual but also @aguilareye @glacialswordsman and everyone else who would like to join in!

[brandnewhuman]

I was like scrolling through tiktok, fueling my könig thirst, when I came across an interesting hc

As much as I like to think this man has infinite patience and it takes literally so much to make him snap i think I might be wrong.

IM THE ONLY ONE ALLOWED TO CORRECT ME SO DONT EVEN TRY IT

I was on the verge of having a stroke with @bloodlst trying to understand how old is könig (which btw didn't end up anywhere cause everytime we thought we had the answer something didn't seemed right. We have come to the agree that he's almost 40 and that cod writers are fucking wankers cause his bio doesn't makes any fucking sense)

König willingly volunteer to get into the army. Now I know it may not be much but in the bio you see in the game it says he felt acceptance only when fighting and that he exceeded at it.

Now I don't think könig is objectively a violent person but as someone who has their fair share of unfair moments in their life i can tell you that feeling powerless and defenseless is a horrible feeling. Anxiety and in general menta illness is debilitating on its own, if you pair that with people treating you like shit and having to always be faced with how weak you really are in others people eyes it does makes you feel angry and crave some sort of loud and brutal coping mechanisms

I think that's how könig feels, he has never been able to let out the anger, he's always been the fragile chubby kid with mental health problems who was easy to push around. He has always felt like he took too much space and didn't deserve to feel bad or show his real feelings cause in the end he always felt it was only his fault if all that shit happened to him.

I can see him being a shy person, always forcing a cheerful and careless facade, choosing to display only a premade happy set to the world so it's not that easy to get to him and his real feelings. I can see him being so full of anger that he has problems keeping it at bay sometimes and snaps randomly at very small things, regretting it immediately, I can see him keeping everything in and letting it out either during missions or when he's alone

Like he really is brutal when he is out there killing the enemy, and he likes it. He likes it and unlike ghost he's not afraid of it, he feels the most happy when he knows people see him and get scared cause they know what's coming for them.

Like I feel ghost does what he does cause he doesn't has anything else left, not because he likes to be a killer, not bc he likes to scare people but bc he genuinely believes he's not good for anything else other than violence. His life is ruined by all the trauma, he will never be able to be happy or have a normal life so why even try to? He gets so worried about being so used to death, he fears getting completely indifferent towards any type of violence or loss, that one day he won't even care about killing his own team or innocent people so that's why he keeps away from everyone. You can't feel bad for anyone or have to care if you don't have someone to look out for

But könig it's like different, he never thinks about the effects all of this will have on him, he just wants to feel like the strong one for once. He likes killing and he likes the fact that he's good at it and even enemies know it. And even after all of this he can't manage to make people respect him outside work, he loses all the "könig" strength and becomes just Dominik, the really tall and nervous guy who can't seem to stand up for himself. Cause as much as he likes to feel stronger than others he wants to be liked too, he wants to be appreciated by someone who isn't his grandma, he wants to feel like the bullies at school were wrong and he is a very likeable person, that he can be loved with all his difficulties and "flaws"

Bloody hell i got angsty with it, BUT YOU ALL KNOW I NEVER LIE SO IM RIGHT, YOU'RE WRONG AND NOW YOU'LL THINK ABOUT IT

[sillyandquiteawkward]

ME AGAIN ! GUY WHO LIKES YOUR OCS ! (apparently this didn't send before but thankfully I saved it beforehand !)

Okay So I really really like Bailey and his siblings because they're literally SO bad coping mechanisms core. Like damn therapy wasn't kidding that Child Abuse really Can leave you altered for the rest of your life !

Ignatius is Fawn, due to having had to have adapted into a role of a peacekeeper for people in the house not to fucking bite each other, but also because I can really see him trying to sympathize with everyone around him in an attempt to make himself more approachable, more demure, smaller even, so that no one is mean to him. He wants things to be "normal" Soooo Bad he can't stand the fact people won't just talk to each other despite it feeling like the most logical option [<- Bro cannot accept the circumstances of a much more complicated relationship between his siblings than he originally fathomed !]

Bailey is Flight to me, because much like Octavia points out in that one comic you made innnnn 2022 (? I TINK !), instead of actually solving the issues that bother him head on and face the consequences of doing so, he'd rather walk around them a billion different ways and pretend to be busy and avoidant and Cool because dealing with actual conflict is SCARY !!!!!!! Call this guy "Mask of my own face" by Lemon Demon the way he has never once in his life felt the full extent of his emotions due to an underlying self imposed expectation to be this untouchable being who's always right and never actually has to have a heart to heart with anyone <3. I just think its interesting how you write Bailey to be this all-logic-no-play person, while also giving him the feeling that all of this is an act waiting to fall apart, and that he does not in fact Know A Damn Thing. He's the world's dumbest smart man I wish I could throw him in a well <- loving

And Octavia, of course, is Fight, but not JUST because she's exceedingly aggressive in order to cover up her own insecurities and fear of not being her an actual individual ! There's so much more to her and I'm FASCINATED frankly. She lives in a shadow of someone who has never had much regard for her accomplishments, and now she wants SO BAD to prove that "NO, YOU WERE WRONG, I AM SO GOOD AT THIS AND SO SUCCESSFUL" that she ends up losing her personality along the way. She's so focused on the achievements she has gotten, the fights she has won, the struggle SHE ALONE overcame, that she forgets that she's like... a person. Octavia has been on self defense mode for so long that she's forgotten HOW to take off all that armour, and now she's just stuck under hundreds of pounds of metal waiting for that one final thing that's going to make her happy. I just need to work a little harder ! I just need to do this better ! I just need a little more time to work on this and then I can rest ! I am good ! I am good ! She shouts. And then, when she FINALLY gets that score, that perfect track record, she's like "Great ! This proves me my worth and that I am in fact Good !...Now what". It's never enough and it has never been enough but fucking dammit she will prove it to herself to her mom and to her shitass lazy siblings that NO I AM GOOD. I JUST NEED TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD. IM DOING GOOD BECAUSE I WORK HARD. She's normal ♡ [I love her so bad but PLEASE give her mood stabilizers]

Hoohhg this ended up longer than I imagined but anyway. Tldr, Im Bailey I'm Iggy and Im Octavia the MENTAL ILLNESS siblings <3

(Long essay anon here again sorry) I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR OCS CONSTANLTY IM SO SORRY. They came into my house (brain) one day and they haven't left so now I'm conducting experiments on them. They're so cool and I really want you to know that they are. 50 ttrillion dollars for yiu

------

i literally love this soooo much please always feel free to have thoughts about my ocs ANYTIME! your thoughts about the bayleys are SO RIGHT. the mental illness siblings realness 😔 hehehehehe i think its really interesting that they ended up showing off the fight/flight/fawn responses. its not something i entirely planned for them, but its accurate. i especially enjoy the thoughts on bayley's flight response, it really is interesting how hes a master at avoiding things.

some doodles on your thoughts and what i thought would be silly in response. <3 bc i live for this stuff and it makes my day to read things like this, let alone on my own characters (sobbing crying <3<3)

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

blargh blargh BLARGH. bloom into you rant touko my aro-coded theater queer im suddenly salty for you

the live reaction experience of getting to the last chapters of the Bloom Into You yuri manga as they were being released and thinking with increasing baffled passion that Yuu and Sayaka should've jumped from mutually respectful rivalry over how to best be a friend to Touko, to cozy not dramatic very competitive girlfriends with each other while their tall dark tragic theater girl realizes her one true love was the stage all along

Touko's story arc was so much bigger in scope than a confession of love to someone who's ancillary to all of it could ever satisfyingly wrap up (to ME) (my opinion means nothing except to me sself) she felt like a fully completed character with romance slapped on top last minute like a discount price tag sticker

her whole thing about being the one declaring her love and asking for kisses specifically with a girl who thinks she can't love anyone and then we find out Touko's been an actress this whole time not coping with grief by pretending to be her dead big sister only to find out said sister wasn't so extraordinary actually and Touko's perfect persona is almost nothing like her and Touko's need to do and be everything her sister couldn't is a whole thing

and who better to act out the quintessential highschool love and lust that you think you should be into but just can't bring yourself to try out, than with a partner who'll never be hurt by it not being real. What is more ace or aro than experiencing things you personally don't click with via a fictional character you can inhabit without worrying about long term real life consequences or connections to the real you, and finding out that it CAN be fun in that situation, with that distance

Touko's attracted to someone who says she can't fall in love and Touko makes that a requirement of their relationship that Yuu won't fall in love with her

(i know i know there's a Lot of reasons for her to do this i don't care im lost in the aro vibes)

but then Yuu does fall in love because whoops maybe she was gay this whole time after all and just didn't feel anything for the guy who asked her out

meanwhile Touko's long time bestie confesses HER love for Touko too

and im reading this screaming LET THE ARO-CODED GIRL ESCAPE THIS MADNESS LET THEsE TWO DATE EACH OTHER AND LEAVE HER BE!!!

by the end theater girl is out there moving past her trauma living her best normal girl life as a stage actress who's allowed to be imperfect off stage, and she has no idea her bestie had gotten a girlfriend until Yuu tells her

then a side story comes out and Sayaka the former Touko unrequited romantic suitor ended dating a girl who looks Exactly Like Yuu

in my head there's a sequel when they're in their thirties figuring out Hey Wait A Second with a dash of Maybe The AroAce Who Likes Having Girlfriends Was Touko All Along

(maybe Yuu and Sayaka should date about it) (maybe Touko can kiss her friends sometimes and go on dates with them for fun without it having to be romantic) (maybe Yuu's athletic childhood bestie meets the Yuu look alike and Sayaka finally gets one amicable fully mutual break up under her belt)

maybe my problem is that writers put so much effort into the pre-relationship but then treat the confession as the end, the resulting happiness a boring given, and almost never reward me with actually getting to see what the relationship itself looks like, when it's the whole thing I spent all this time waiting for and cheering on. Which makes the relationship feel empty and hollow (to me) compared to the other connections that DID get shown and established and grown into

maybe that's a silly thing to think about a highschool romance story.

maybe this is why im more and more only reading stories with relationships already established pre-canon so i don't have to worry about burning energy on something that won't make me go !!! by the end of it

maybe there's also stories where, even though the characters aren't officially together yet, they're still together enough for their dynamic to shift and settle into something that FEEELS like what they'll have for the rest of their lives no matter if they've confessed to each other or not

maybe bloom into you was very well made and STILL missed the mark for me so hard i stopped reading the entire genre, because if something THIS GOOD still could fundamentally not work for me, im just probably reading in the entirely wrong section of the romance isle

maybe i need to start sleeping again my brain feels like a gently poked sunny side up egg in a frying pan

[saddarkentruths]

I'm feeling a lot, and honestly don't even know where to start, and I just hope I get a therapist soon cuz they know what questions to ask, it feels like I'm holding my breath in, like I'm.on eggshells and I'm trying to get a read on someone I've never met.

Trying to read them through another person who only share the good stuff.

It's like I want to cry but I'm scared she will find out? Which isn't possible, and I shouldn't feel like this, we've been friends for 12 years.

But now it feels like that guy is gonna end up giving her an ultimatum, and I don't know who she'll choose.

And it sucks.

Like we're so close

But now I don't know

Cuz im selfish and I want us to be old together and single and happy, like live in a house with a weird amount of cats, and she'll have a garden and me a painting room

And I'm just so scared she's gonna leave me and go get married and have kids, which she talked about with disgust last year, she hates kids, and didn't want to get married.

Then this dude shows up and tells her they ARE and she says yes???

My other friend is getting married this year, I'm so thrilled for her, I've met her dude, we're all friends, I've met their kids, I love them.

But I already knew she liked and had one kid before meeting him, they're srly otp, soulmates I swear.

But this?

I'm gonna get abandoned

Again

Like she's been with me for so long, nobody knows me like she does, and me her

And she kept the dude a secret

And won't tell me when they met

I'm being slowly removed

I'm just preparing myself emotionally for when this happens, it hurts so much, I'm crying rn, like wtf am I supposed to do?

I'm just

I have to keep quiet, wait it out, watch

And this dude doesn't even want to meet me??

I don't know what she told him but he doesn't want to

That's a red flag imo and how is he supposed to cope with me being with her and him being married? Like?

Obviously an ultimatum is gonna happen, the signs are there, I see it so well, and it's gonna happen cuz it always happen

I just don't know if I could handle losing her

It just fucking hurts me to the core, never felt this deep of an emotional pain over a person, well other than my grandpa, but it's a different feeling.

It's like she's my second personality or something, and she's being pulled away from me

[system-of-a-feather]

Was messaging my sister and bantering a bit about it cause shes honestly the most trans-educated person in our direct irl circles, the most life-processed person who also understands the trauma cause she lived it too, and the overall best ally and so that helped my mood a bit (+ I got the day off work tomorrow to just process and cope for a minute so I don't burn myself out trying to do work and process shit)

But the really shitty downside to the sheer level of sense of self agency and efficacy between Riku and I is that while we are always "I'm not at all concerned that I won't be happy in the end of shit so I know Ill get there and theres no reason to panic or catastrophize - we will figure it out one way or the next because we can and there really is no other option so we WILL come out on top" we also are "but even if I know this I still hate this even though I know that cause this still sucks and Im tired and burnt out but its hard to actually give space for that feeling of exhaustion and pain because we know its momentary"

And honestly bantering with our sister about it really did help get some of that out. It's wild to think she was one of our main overt abusers growing up as she actively admitted to hating us since the moment we could speak when we were growing up and technically was one of the original reasons XIV 1.0 split off.

She's honestly a great person to have in our support system and it's pretty wild how things have changed.

[shuxiii]

merry christmas shu!!! 🤶🎄🦌☃️⭐🎁🎅🛷🥛🍪🌰

I just wanted to write something a bit more meaningful since it's christmas and I guess it's an appropriate day to say all of these things hahajahs

well first things first I wanted to wish you and your loved ones a wonderful and happy christmas!! I hope you get to enjoy this day to the fullest, eat the most yummy food and make great memories for the years to come!! I also hope that whatever traditions you and your loved ones have on christmas fills your heart full of that warmth and coziness only the joy of them can bring 😊

now buckle up because the cheesy words have only begun 😅

I'll try to keep it simple but I wanted to thank you for just being you and for gracing us with your incredible and heart-touching stories

I know I've only been an anon for a month or so now but I've been following you and reading your works for longer than that. I won't go much into detail because this is supposed to be happy and light but I was going through some stuff a few years back that I couldn't even write like I used to as a hobby (and coping mechanism) or even read stuff anymore. I actually haven't been using tumblr for almost two years before downloading it again this year. and then I discovered your blog pretty early on after being back again over here. I was already much better at the time but I was still taking my time with everything, but when I began reading your works it helped me more than I could've imagined. I was laughing, and feeling genuinely scared the characters wouldn't end up together and many other stuff and all of that was bringing such an immense comfort to me I was even shocked myself and so much so it even inspired me to write again! I managed to finish sixteen stories this year, which is like my biggest record ever because I would only manage to actually complete two or three per year. and it's all thanks to your amazing and inspiring work!!

you're also the first person I've send an ask to in all of my years here. I'm used to only reading silently while the authors interact with their readers but you're always so funny and light and the more I saw your interactions with everyone else the more I wanted to at least send in one ask to say how much I love your stuff. and when I did, you have always been so kind to me I couldn't help but keep coming back! it helped me get just a tiny bit more communicative in my life and I can say I've been better a jokes too because I swear you and your anons are so funny I've been keeping notes hahajahsjak

I feel like I said too much but didn't say much at all aaaaahdjdj, but I just wanted to thank you for being this amazing person and keep sharing with us your wonderful stories because you might not know, but they help people a lot. they're very entertaining and comforting and you're very kind and funny too 😊

so thank you for existing shu <3

I don't want this to be overwhelmingly long and I'm in the middle of nowhere, the reception here is horrible I'm scared this might not even send in on time 😅

so once again merry christmas shu!!! I hope your day is very happy and you enjoy it to the fullest!!

bye bye shu <3

- 🥟

I kid you not im sorry for the late reply because i was having a sad time in christmas so i couldn’t express my gratefulness to your ask but im so happy and this actually made me cry so much like i was crying out loud im so happy that i was ur inspiration and all ive never been so proud and happy LIKE i know i may say so little but this means more than the words i could ever describe and im sorry if it seems like i don’t appreciate it much but i really do! Thank you my dumpling 🙁🙁🙁mwa mwa love you!!

[lexpressobean]

I have been enabled so Im gonna go on some more about my 30+ Messy ShinoHina lol (i'm shy but im also easy to squeeze more out of if you're polite enough lol)

More specifics under the cut because this became very... long after all I typed so, I will leave the fluff lovers some songs that really set the mood for me at certain parts of the story here <3 I don't hate fluff, I just need to balance it out with some feral behavior lol!

"Comfortable with the Silence" by Andy Shauf

"Wide Awake" by Katy Perry

"Feelings" by Lauv

"Near to You" by A Fine Frenzy

---

Now, the biggest thing I need people to understand about the whole situation is that everyone, everyone acts less than ideal at some point, to put it lightly. Because ideals are still just ideals, and even if you don't go looking for mess, you will experience it in your relationships as it is inevitable. People make mistakes, bro. And sometimes you just gotta live with what happens. You can't always heal or take it back, and you will experience both things simultaneously sometimes too. And it's shitty and will always feel bad. Stains, and scars, they are just proof that you have lived and have experienced things in life. No one is flawless. No one stays clean. All you can do is learn to cope and move forward with time, while trying not to make it someone else's problem. But that third thing can also still happen unintentionally too, and then new mess happens! Mess is natural. Sometimes, it only seems worse than it really is when all you do is focus on it. Other times, is continuously gets worse because of denial. It's honestly a truly wonderful thing when all parties can sit and really work through things together when Mess occurs, but that's assuming they can do so without getting toxic or distrustful and all that other bullshit that is ultimately counterproductive and makes walking away the healthiest choice at the end of the day.

And that's kind of the point, and my main reason for going this route with Shino and Hinata in a romantic sense. I feel Shino and Hinata are both the most likely, out of all the Konoha 13, to avoid and deny mess at all costs, in any situation, even at the expense of themselves in some way or form. Not just in personality, but also because of their socioeconomic standings too, but I won't get into that part of it too much rn.

Shino's behavior becomes warped more early on at the start of the story. Yeah, Shino has always been more petty and has even said or done things in canon that come off less than stellar, but they are also the kind of things that are usually harmless and finished as soon as the moment passes. But in this case, Shino refuses to act on his long standing desires, which are so strong, he's been unable to truly stamp out his feelings since he was 17, even after his heart really broke for the first time. He feels, knows deep in his bones as Hinata's and Naruto's friend as well, that Naruto isn't the person Hinata should be with. But because he wants Hinata to be happy, and respects her desicions, and because he is her friend, teammate, and fellow noble clan kid at that, he will support her first before he attempts anything selfish. And because he also still sees Naruto as his friend, and someone who at his core is a good person despite his treatment of Shino himself and obvious dumbassery, Shino swallows his jealousy and his judgment and his want. And so, he loses his chance through his self-inflicted restraint. He chooses to do this simply because it seemed like the right thing to do, for his friends. Getting involved the way he wanted to would only make things messy, regardless of how confident he is that things will work in his favor, which probably wasn't much anyway. Because how dare Shino try to impose himself on his... friend, and challenge... his other friend... Shino would never want to hurt his friends... but the thing is, you can't always keep everyone happy. You still count and will always count when everyone is involved. It was his choice to stay unhappy.

Hinata, in comparison, doesn't feel it until later, when it also feels like it's too late. And as it creeps up, she refuses to acknowledge her growing sense of disillusionment after she quite literally gets her wish from childhood, her Infinite Tsukuyomi even! She got what she wanted!! How dare she even think any ungrateful thoughts about her own situation!!! And yeah, maybe her dream didn't become an absolute nightmare... but anything less than a dream come true is still really disappointing, especially when the rose colored glasses come off so late in the game. But being unwilling to admit that will also cause her to grow closer and closer to a breaking point anyway. And deterrents are hell sometimes. The legal binding of marriage, their two kids, the fact Naruto is the Hokage, her already well known standing with her own Clan that, politically, will never paint her in a good light... All of that pressure to keep on keeping on even though she's so unhappy... She'd undeniably be the sole reason for her family 'falling apart', externally, from an outsider's point of view. And no one wants to hurt the people they love, even if they're hurting themselves in some way. Her behavior becomes warped some time later after more developments though.

But, well, it really all begins when they both fucking explode, but they ONLY explode after they're both pushed too far by someone else. But after the dust settles they both realize in their own ways that, point blank it sucks a lot that it happened like that, but they can either succumb to their situation for good, or frame it as something new, like they were both given an opportunity. Only by working past their fears, deterrents, and even false senses of morality will they get to really change their situations. It's about how they do so.

Hinata will explode first, because she will find out that Naruto has undeniably cheated on her with Sasuke. And my mind can't decide how exactly, but in the end, it doesn't matter how he did it, but he did, she finds out and she just breaks down about it all. Shino will follow suit when he realizes Hinata is broken up, and when he finds out exactly why... boy, his coniption will be fucking legendary. But the only person to actually see it would be Hinata, and it's alarming and distressing but especially terrifying because for a moment much too long, she could feel in Shino an intent to kill... and suddenly everything else is so miniscule for that moment because Hinata's best friend would actually fucking try to murder her husband...

W h a t

He doesn't mean to take his anger out on her, and he doesn't actually anyway, but his words and actions in the moment are horrifying and all she wants to do is calm him down, and she does it by pulling from some hidden reserve of strength she has as Naruto's Wife and Mother of his Children. Because it's all so confusing and so bad but goddamn it you will NOT fuck with her family!

Feelings don't disappear in an instant. Shino would know that better than anyone. It's a punch in the gut and really wounds him despite all logic but it's exactly what he needs to just... stop being so crazy. And because of this, after he calms down, and he takes several steps back and probably a seat, he realizes no matter how hard he tries he just can't won't (be honest Shino!) move on either. He will not because deeper still in his heart of hearts, he always knew he wanted to at least try. His main regret is that he hid behind the farce of 'true friendship' to stay close to her, but one can't blame themself for lack of confidence too. Sometimes the cookie will crumble as it may, but now... now as messed up the situation has become, his pent up frustration and regrets and his fucking desire override his logic and his inner goblin man comes out much more often and as fucked as it is, will probably try to gain Hinata's favor while she is still down and sorting through things. He's not doing it on purpose but mans just does not want to wait any longer. Because he was waiting since forever whether he admits it or not and he decides that Naruto DEFINITELY does not deserve this woman. He never did and never fucking will.

BUT... but but but, Hinata... has to just... process everything. Shino promises he was just so upset for her. What? He wouldn't kill Naruto. How could he ever? He is Fine, he is Good, he is going to go home and lay down. And he wholeheartedly apologizes for such an unbecoming reaction... Hinata chose to confide in Shino and flying off the handle like that was entirely inappropriate. Embarrassing and shameful even. Not the support Hinata obviously needs. Of course he will keep this all confidential, of course, no need to worry... She didn't need any of that, and Shino will never be able to apologize enough but all things considered, he will support her as best as he can. He is so so sorry but wants to be there for her, that is the truth.

And it really is the truth, but it still shakes Hinata to her core. That will never be a normal reaction from Shino. There is no explanation for that reaction, but Hinata still trusts him... she knows she can trust him to follow through with what he says... but it itches. It's an itchy and confusing sensation as she tries to dig further into why Shino was so crazy there for a moment? Does it mean something that Shino was so upset, almost more than Hinata even? Was Hinata not upset enough??? Meanwhile she's trying to work things out with Naruto who got caught and even though the threat of death can really put things into perspective fast, Hinata will have to realize there's a difference between loving someone, caring for someone, and being in love with someone. What exactly was she feeling in that moment? And what will she do now that Naruto is coming clean and explaining himself??

.

And on and on like that. As for Naruto and Sasuke, and Sakura, it's like this whole... thing that I'm still exploring. Because as a queer person myself, who's had a complicated journey and relationship with my own queerness, it's something I wanna address too. Because SNS is a crazy ride in itself, and Sakura, she deserves so much more as well...!!!

--

Bonus songs for reading all of this!!

"A 1000 Times" by Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam

"Dance Inside" by The All-American Rejects

"Wave" by Meghan Trainor ft. Mike Sabath

"I'm OK" by Manila Killa & AObeats ft. Shaylen

"Personal" by The Vamps ft. Maggie Lindemann

[batsyforyou]

Hiya! for the OC ask game, 1 for any/all OCs you wanna talk about :)

Hello and thank you for the ask! I will be honest I kinda feel like I have been caught with my pants down cause I completely forgot I posted/reblogged that but I am more than happy to share my OCs. I think I am going to mention two that I'm working on and none of what is here is solid yet. Like, its not concrete! I keep forgetting the right analogies for these things, are they analogies?

I think one for Skyrim and one for whatever is happening on the other end of my fishing line lol. Also, I'm working off of minimal sleep and a high amount of caffeine so I apologize if this comes off as weird. Im sure it will.

Number 1 says, "What is their birthsign and does it have any large significance to who they are?"

So, I don't actually have birthdays or names picked out for these OCs so I'll just share some of what I do have. Vibes mostly but damn are they hot.

For Skyrim we have an Altmer/Nord Dragonborn Character, a mixed race character. For this one I have more plot then character but because the thingy said Skyrim originally it doesn't feel right to not mention her. I literally have over three pages of bullet pointed plot points and thoughts for her. I know it doesn't seem like much but for me thats a lot. She was inspired by a play through I just started and Taliesin. In an ask game before this I think I mentioned him but if I didn't he is an in progress fully voiced modded follower that I have been obsessed with recently. You can find the creators blog here. And I kinda want to use this OC in a fan fiction for him but we won't talk about that cause I actually don't know yet. But I really want to its probably gonna be after his release if I do. But unlikely cause I'm so slow af. And I have said I'd have Little Dove part 1 posted in a couple of days and well, its been like two months so...

Brief Character Description: We'll just call her Brye for now.

She was born in a place far far away that I have yet to choose but was raised in Riverwood by her Nord Dad.

Brye's Appearance

Eyes-blue

Hair- long and white (will be cut later down the line cause trauma)

skin- currently torn between olive or tan, probably olive

height- no specific number has been set yet but she definitely isn't small

Armor- In the beginning she goes with what she can afford so, either hide armor or steel if she can get her hands on it. Later down the line she'll have more assassin looking light weight armor. She does cover her hair and ears in a scarf like thing I can't remember the name to but like sailors use them so like? It's there and it is black and she wears a helmet over it.

Some character traits/insecurities/flaws: I'm not gonna put them all here just a short list.

Self-hate issues

trust issues

abandonment issues

mommy issues

Loyal

strong moral compass 65% of the time

Has high expectations of herself (perfectionist)

Loves the thrill of danger/hunting

Loves treasure/loot

can be lead astray from morals for treasure (and kisses)

loves feeling like she's doing good even if she is doing nothing and failing miserably. An example could be trying to make someone feel better and hoping her that her presence is enough cause they have someone who can protect them. Does that make sense? Probably not.

is a sucker for praise and attention from those close to her.

constantly wants the approval of others, kinda a people pleaser but not really. Like she isn't a floor mat... rug? Whatever she has boundaries + backbone and doesn't like letting people get close. But will feel guilty for hours after saying "no" to someone.

I'll leave it there for the Skyrim OC cause I said a short list and that is not short. Moving on to whatever is happening on the other end of the screen!

Pirate Elf: that I still don't have a name for.

I'm just gonna share a few of the images I have for him and what I'm thinking about for his bird and story/coping skills. Also, side note, the images I am gonna share were sent to me by a the lovely lady Flora and if you are interested in OCs I'd totally recommend her! She has many different blogs for different things but @floraroselaughter is her main one and @the-glade-is-my-delight should be her OCs blog. She is great with mood boards and her writing is super great as well so totally check her out if you have the time!

I didn't share all the photos but these are just some of them. I am adding to him still and doing some research but I have a semi done playlist that I'd like to share. And please let me know if the links don't work I'll fix em.

Playlist for Elf Pirate Captain 

Jonathan Young- Eye of the Storm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Si3IJ218Chk

Valhalla calling https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxptIpCYAJA

10HR Creaky Wooden Pirate Ship Rain Sounds for Sleep: BLACK SCREEN Pirate Ship Ambience for Sleep https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCs4JM7dXX4

Pirate Ship Ambience- Captain’s Cabin Tropical Island Port, Bird LIfe| 1 hour https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ft-lJyu_nuY

Pirate Ship Sound Ambience//Wooden Sailboat Ocean Waves Sleep Sound 8 Hours https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aylZ5naovxY

Footsteps on Wood floor black screen 10 hours loop| sleep| study|relax| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVumDbrIOFg

Footsteps on Hardwood Floor Sound Effect https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJbOrzd92Ec

Sound Effects- Walking on Wood Floor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfrLCXUo1hg 

Loud Parrot Chirping |Natural Parrot Sounds| Parrot Calling Sounds|| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9dUpGFc5Uc

Parrots incredibly talk to one other like Humans https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlu504XxrYA 

Best Sword Sounds (Slice/Slash/Crash/Swoosh/etc) A little bloody https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgRvVq8mStE

RPG|D&D Ambience -Sword Duel (Swords clashing, footsteps, heavy breathing) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBsHWwmXbcM

I had a mix of Sea Shanties that was really good but I couldn't find it so yeah.

For his bird he does have a green parrot not because I see a lot of other pirates with them but because my Grandma had a green parrot named Rocky who died a couple of years ago and I loved him to bits so, he has a bird named Rocky. I hope thats the right picture.

For the coping skill I mentioned I don't think he has one. Cause what I'm currently thinking is that he talks with his hands a lot, mostly to show off his rings, but that he puts all the stress of whatever is happening in a bottle and just keeps shoving it all in there. Until he is literally teetering on the edge of like super villain or defeat. Mostly supervillain. And by defeat I mean like breaking down and not recovering mentally.

An example of what could break that bottle would be like, if he fell in love with a human woman and he got married to her and had children and she died a normal death. He won't be fine for a while but probably won't go raging war on anyone. Verses, he fell in love with a human woman who he was going to marry but couldn't cause she was shot and killed and then he goes Super villain I'ma kill everyone mode. Or my personal favorite He gets married to the love of his life they have children together she still gets brutally murdered and he goes to start a war and I make another protagonist to take him out. And it be a simple family verses family story.

I have a ton more I'd like to say about him but this post is crazy long so thank you for asking! I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to walk into but hey, its late I'm tired and I have to turn in like three huge grade breaking essays. So, its all good!

Have a great night, stay blessed!

[marshmallowprotection]

i think i tried calling him right after the kiss and didn't get anything (looking it up the next outgoing call with him isn't until after the next chat... i was asleep by then 😭)

altho now I'm thinking of the call before that where he talks about biting his nails and im so annoyed mysme didnt give me the option to tell him i did that too!! i only managed to stop when i found out stimming/chewy stimming is a thing and found other outlets (and now I'm imagining getting ray one of those chewy stim necklaces. i had one for a bit and theyre great)

That's alright! You'll be able to grab that call next time you go through his route. I love that phone call after the kiss... I make a point of trying to stay awake so I can do it every time. It makes me happy... and well, it makes Ray happy, and really, that's the only goal you should have in life. The point is to make Ray smile so hard that his face hurts.

I do wish that we had more options for certain calls. There's one in the After Ending that won't give me the option to say what I want to Saeran, either. I know they do their best to make sure that people have the most options during phone calls, but they miss the mark for a few of them. I bet Ray would love something that could help him stim in a healthy way. He bites his nails to cope with his stress since it's a force of habit, but gnawing or squeezing something might help ween him off of it.

[menheratorium]

𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐒𝐓 16𝐭𝐡 , 𝓕𝘳𝘪day

i wonder if i'll ever get better ? at the end of the day , in my mind , i am the most sinful creature alive . my existence itself is a sin , and i am being punished for it .

i feel heavy guilt for feeling & thinking the way i do . why do i feel bad ? why do i have the urge to destroy myself ? i am blessed . i have good circumstances in life . yet i squander it all .

it's an endless loop of self - hatred and self - blame . why do i hate myself so much ? given how blessed i am , i should be happy . but i am not , so i despise myself even more . a snake swallowing it's own tail , it what it feels like .

and the fact that i harm myself to cope with these feelings , it feels like an insult to those who are actually struggling . i have nothing that validates me , my only source of woe comes from within . i disgust myself , but i still cannot stop .

maybe a part of me wants to pretend that i am also someone worthy of love & underdtanding , feel a sense of community of unfortunate people . but i don't deserve that at all , because my suffering is artificial and undeserved .

it's funny to say that i'm undeserving of suffering , it sounds like a good thing . but i want to suffer , because it means my feelings are valid . but i have nothing of which to suffer from , and all that pain i think i feel -- it's all pathetically plastic & fake .

to be " artificial " " plastic " " fake " " pretend " is what haunts me every day . not a day goes by where i don't have these thoughts bombarding my brain , telling me that i will never fit in . not in real life , not online .

because no matter how hard i try , i'll never have what other people do , their humanity . i so badly want to be human , too . but i'm missing something that gives people their human quality . i don't know what , but i don't have it . i want it i want it so bad

i don't know if i was born without it , or if i had damaged or lost it somewhere along the way as i grew up . but as it stands , i'm just an empty husk of a human , pretending to be what i cannot be . it hurts so bad , being aware that i'm not anything at all , really .

for the sake of happiness , i bury these thoughts deep down , but it's useless because i know at my very core how disgusting i am . my form is a black sludge , shapeless , trying to mimic the form of others but always going to break down one day because it isn't sound nor genuine .

pieces of " me " flake off : they're all fragments that i have collected from other people , carfully chosen to craft an identity appealing to me . maybe my original identity was under all the pieces once , but it has long since rotted into black goo .

i seek validation for these feelings . i want people to recognize my pain . i wish it would be okay for me to desire such things . my attention seeking behaviors are manifested from such foolish desires , wanting something that simply , in principal , i cannot have , nor desire .

i don't deserve anything good and yet i enjoy it everyday and waste resources deserved by a true human . so many suffering , so many subject to bad things . if they had all i have , they would be happy . i am not happy . i do not deserve my life .

i want to destroy it all . all the good things i have . they don't belong to me , someone so ungrateful and horribly greedy . i am a black hole , always wanting more and more and more .

like christmas toys , " happiness " only satiates me for a day or two . then i need new " happiness " . i consume and lust for more , despite knowing it's all a waste because i am taking when i am undeserving .

i feel as if i must atone for my sin of existing by ending it : then i would no longer take what others deserve , i won't be an insult to true pain .

im so horribly confused and lost and so many thoughts overtake my brain it hurts and my heart hurts and i think i hurt everyone that contacts me and i should never have i am that burden but it burdens people the weight of suicide despite the death not being someone worthh they guilt of having known and now missing is a pain to have been brought this cursed existence cannot sustain doom doom doom doom

[cibellathoughts]

After therapy 😌

Good morning.

Im sorry. I used writing as a coping skill. I shouldn't have sent the writing, tho 😕

I'm sorry for bothering you, I need closure.

Well, after reflecting, meditating, and my therapy session here, I am...

I'm sorry for being so talented with my words. It's a shame that I can't make a song lol seria un Palo. 😅 necesitaba botar el golpe. Lo siento.

En serio this time, because unlike you, I can be 100% honest. I'm sorry for being so mean. I should have chosen to react from love. I was really mad.

I guess I have been out of practice. Im sorry. Even though I was/am mad, I can't justify offending you that way. After all, I asked God to remove you from my life if you were not the one. And he did. I should be thankful. Sacar la curita dolio pero fue rápido y ya estoy un poco mejor. I kind of knew you wouldn't be able to handle me. I am a handful. I know.

Today, I feel better lol and I could express my feelings without insults.

I understand that you can't see me the way I needed you to see me. I have work to do because I really want someone who loves me. There are more than 50 reasons that are facts about us and why we could not work out. You were right. Thank you because even tho I am pissed, it was the right call. I did feel used, tho.

I probably would not have been able to recover if you'd have me wasting more time, money, hopes, love, and energy on you. I do feel deeply mad at myself because struggling this way took me back to old patterns, and I hate feeling that I'm going backward.

This means I have to heal more. I do wonder why you couldn't love me? Am I really unlovable?

Thank you for not arguing because it would have been worse. (For you, lol, jk, for me). I am very sad and disappointed still.

I was getting to see us as a couple, and I gave us qualities that probably were not even real. ( I guess my nedednes created a story that wasn't real)

This is teaching me to re evaluate myself because I am very needed of love and my discerning is being affected, or continues to be fucked, idk.

I honest to God, felt our connection was real and honest. I'm sorry, I made a mistake.

I apologize for offending you. I was wrong.

I have a new story for my book. Thank you. ;)

I know you now will find your forever love. Be happy. I knew this would happen. It always happens. I'm the good luck charm for everyone except for myself.

I do get emotional because I help people find their true love and I always end up struggling, alone and trying to understand, why can't get the love I give.

I guess I'm not that cool and lovable after all. Lol

Continue making a great life. I'll take the good and the bad with me, I won't contact you ever again, as a matter of fact I'm deleting everything, chat, pics and your number. Do not reply please to this message. There's no need.

I can't be your friend. I'm still battling with feelings, and I am working on letting go.

Suerte y éxito con todo. There are some things I said that you could probably read and work on. For real. Don't play with people's feelings. That's not cool.

I'm sorry you couldn't see who I really am, and love me. Thank you for the orgasms. May be you could practice oral sex for your next one. Lol (is a minus one point for that one). 🤣

Anyway, I hope life gives you what you deserve. 🙂 Thank you for the lessons, I release you with much love.

Love always, Cibeis (la missi) :)

[ghoulfr13nd]

imagine i take your ocs into my hand like your dolls and say "i just think they're neat! :3" fsdhj

you know, that makes sense for them to be chaotic! i remember when i was focusing more about lyrics and wasn't looking at the order of the songs and suddenly was hit with Moonlight Sonata i was shooketh! so id say it is effective with stopping listener in their tracks same way the moments where Mac's true feelings show! but so i see it depends on the character what type of the playlist would work best which is a very good mindset to have!

i'm so attached to these little guys you have no idea! i wonder what kind of being Linsey would end up as since you're reconsidering! in your story there are only demons and angels or are there other supernatural creatures?

thank you for indulging me and my questions! :D

i love this art! is Finn trans? i care him 🥺 he has fisherman clothes and honestly he makes it work! and linsay this poor traumatized kid </3 maybe stabbing people isn't the best coping mechanism in the long run ;v; (i really hope you find the rest drawings though! <3)

oh btw, would you be ok with me telling you songs that made me think about your ocs? just to clarify i don't mean it'd be my proposition to add to your playlist, just me saying which song i thought had the oc vibes to me :D

(hmmm about my ocs, man, i have so many, think typical shounen anime cast of main characters sdfjksdf maybe ill tell just about my main MAIN one to not take too much time fdhsj they're called Klepsydra and in short, they have some type of regenerative powers: when they get hurt (emotionally or physically) they take life-force of things around them and use it to heal. It's not conscious on their part and they hate it. They had to learn how to repress emotions to an extreme degree and wear a very thick skin so their emotions couldn't get hurt and put others in danger, they constantly wear a smile and to an outsider they are very happy-go-lucky. they want to isolate from people so they won't get attached, they don't want to risk getting hurt from them or hurting them when they'd be in worse mood, but they also hate being mean, they are very nice in fact, and like to help others, so whether they want it or not, they gather a "small" group of friends around themselves. but when things get Real/Sad/Negative/Dangerous they are the first one to run + they are amazing at dodging hits and avoiding injuries :D two songs i simultaneously associate with them is Dashboard by Modest Mouse and Lonely Hearts Club by Marina fdhasj thank you for asking!!! ;v;)

music anon 🎶

ok anon….. ok anon..!!! ITS HAPPENING…!!! ITS REALLY HAPPENING IM REPLYING FOR REAL FINALLY!! i come to you live from the notepad on my laptop. i broke out the laptop for this. thats right. i'm locking the fuck in, and i'm not moving until i'm DONE. ok? ok. let's do this.

i am thrilled that moonlight sonata was able to hit you that way! i had the idea in my head that it would work that way, but i wasn't sure if it would really come through to anyone else who might listen. i'm so pleased that it did. i clap my hands together!! i am full of glee and whimsy! it means so much to me that you like them fr T_T honestly it's been really hard trying to figure out exactly how i want my characters to interact and how i want their story to playout, and i've really been able to get a clearer idea just from talking with you. your questions have been really helpful with my world-building!! with Linsey…. hmm…. see, the thing is (and also to answer your question) i'm not sure whether i want there to be more than angels and demons! and i dont really see Linsey as either. she's certainly a creature, but i don't know that that's necessarily a paranormal thing jshfd

and THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME QUESTIONS ?????? ARE YOU KIDDINGGGGGG IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO TALK ABOUT!!! and yes!! finn is trans c: he loves his waders lol sure, maybe stabbing isn't the best coping mechanism, but, you know.

also are YOU KIDDING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES YES YES PLEASE REC ME SONGS BASED ON MY OCS NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER

what kind of story is Klepsydra's? :0 they seem like a really interesting character!! also very heart-bound. we are just two guys making fucked up little guys who don't know how to express their emotions like normal people. i'm sure this says nothing about us. ALSO I LOVE THESE SONGSSSS very very good vibes i love them. just realized i need to add them to your playlist!! so im doing that now.

ok cool one down!! see ya in the next one >:3c

[hanmaitani]

ღ 𝕂𝕚𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕖 ღ

Kita Shinsuke x Kazemi Anniversary: September 25th

At a Glance: Tired of the city and the constant go go go, I leave Tokyo and run off to Hyogo for the summer. I’m fresh out of college and decide to volunteer help at a nearby newly established farm. Shinsuke and I spend the entire summer getting closer, trying desperately to deny the fact that we’re falling deeper in love with every stolen glance. We have one night together that ends in him hoping I’ll ask to stay and me hoping he’ll tell me not to go. It doesn’t take him long to show up on my doorstep in Tokyo and drag me back home with him.

Our Dynamics:

Ship dynamic(s): Coworkers to Lovers MBTI: ISTJ x INFP Zodiac: Cancer x Sagittarius Love Language(s): Acts of service, Words of affirmation

Our Firsts:

How we met: sweet shinsuke needs some help around the farm and put up some volunteer posters (no experience needed!!) in town. i happened to be staying there on vacation and in desperate need of something to do with myself. First Impressions: both of us nearly fall right there on the spot. we both think the other is cute. he can see that i’m a little lost (not physically but emotionally and mentally) and that im there to try my best, something he appreciates. i can’t seem to put my finger on why but he immediately feels like someone i can trust and put faith in, someone steady i’ve never had. First Date: there’s two possible answers. 1) before we’re together and we’re just friends, he makes a point of taking me out into the fields at night under the stars and i (city girl) just am mesmerized by the stars and the whole vibe of country nights. 2) after we’re together, he takes me on our first official date and tries to be super fancy, like take me to a fancy restaurant in town. it’s neither of our scene and he thinks it’s a fail, but we end up leaving early to get ice cream and some takeout to bring home and i think it’s amazing. First Kiss: before we're together or have even confessed. it's the middle of a rain storm and i run out into it to gather the animals from the fields and put them in shelter and he runs out to help me (after many shouts that i'm going to get myself sick). after we're both running back to the house and i (ever-graceful) slip in the mud, he tries to stop my fall but just gets taken down with me. i'm worried for a second until he starts laughing and then we're both laughing uncontrollably in the mud and it just sort of, happens. he's kissing me and i'm kissing back until we realize what we're doing and how inappropriate it is for us to be doing this when i work for him. First Time: i'm set to go back to the city. shinsuke is sure he'll never see me again and i'm sure if i leave that i'll never see him again. it's our last night together. we both throw caution to the wind and let our feelings guide us, the need for each other. one round isn't enough either, we spend all night in each other's arms. i'm waiting for him to tell me not to go and he's waiting for me to say i won't leave. neither of us do and he drives me to the train station in the morning.

What I love most about them: his reliability. i've always had to be the reliable one, the one who has it together and it's very hard to cope with when i don't have someone to turn to for the same thing. he's respectful and listens and is constant and at first i don't know how to handle it but it quickly grows to be something i can't live without. What they love most about me: my carefree nature. i'm incredibly silly and always laughing and although my lack of carefulness stresses him out sometimes (see the injuries i acquire), he loves it even more, i can always bring a smile to his face and it makes him remember that things with me around will never be too bad.

Our Happy Ever After:

Proposal: he definitely wants to propose the second he finds out that i'm pregnant. i don't let him because i don't want him to feel like he's forced to marry me just because i'm pregnant. his proposal ends up being right after i give birth. literally i'm still in the hospital bed, thinking i look like a mess but he only sees the most beautiful thing he's ever laid eyes on, the love of his life and the woman who just had his child. he doesn't even register that he's asking when he does. we buy the ring together a few weeks later. Wedding: it's a very intimate one, just close family and friends. yes the team comes, we actually talk aran into officiating and we have it in the fields at our home. all the boys spend the night that night and take turns passing my child from uncle to uncle in hopes of making him laugh so they can be his favorite. Kids: 1 boy + 1 girl + counting

INSTAGRAM Art of Us: Faerie AU Us Fics of Us: Our First Meeting

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OTHER SELFSHIPS