#im usually fine powering through but im just so so tired

[norrizzandpia]

hello, firstly i would like to say ur writing is phenomenal!! secondly i wanted to request something like the reader having some insecurities or just social media making her feel unworthy of lando thank u 🫶🏼

Ive been hanging onto this request for a while bc i love these scenarios bc they hit so close to home and I always need to be in the right mindset for them and now i am!

Love You the Way I Do (LN4)

Summary: When Y/n starts to pull back, Lando knows exactly what to do.

Warnings: insecurities, talks of not being good enough, language

Note: the reason ive been so mia on here is because ive just been in such a bad slump and not feeling good about myself or feeling good enough in general and im starting to get out of it with a lot of time focusing on myself but i really miss it on here so im using this as a way to kind of help me cope a bit with what ive been going through recently

Y/n was never good with her emotions. Discussing them and trying to work on them, she could never reach a certain level of comfortability with the people in her life that allowed her to be that vulnerable with them. Her parents, friends, and other family members had to pry words out of her when it was clear she was struggling and no amount of therapy sessions had cured the vicious cycle. However, Lando’s peaceful presence in her life had shifted the way she operated, allowed her to open up more easily with the way he would hold her until she was ready.

He was patient, almost strategic, when it came to getting through to her. Past moments of darkness where she would try to shut him out, try to be alone in the agony, were lessons in which ways worked best to get her to realize that he was there for her, waiting with open arms and constantly ready to listen.

Easing her mind, that was Lando’s job and he was damn good at it.

He could always tell when there was a war going on beneath the walls of her head. When she would go quiet or laugh just a bit less, he caught on fast. Just like now, as he sat on the couch in their shared apartment and watched her talk to her sister on the phone in the kitchen, Lando clocked the way she wasn’t as smiley, as excited to talk to one of her favorite people in the world.

“Thursday? No, I can’t do Thursday. I’ve got some stuff to do.” She mumbled into the speaker. Lando could hear her sister respond, something about Y/n being too busy, but he couldn’t truly digest the words, too engrossed in his own mind wondering what she had Thursday.

If he remembered correctly, she had nothing scheduled.

The second sign; distancing herself from people close to her and staying inside unhealthily.

She paced the room, rounding each corner of the counter as she bit the nail on her thumb, “Friday, no… next Monday, no… next Wednesday, no…”

Their conversation continued that way until her sister gave up on trying to find a date, muttering about letting her know when the next date Y/n was available was, and hung up. His girlfriend set the phone down on the marble, head falling forward as she huffed out a breath.

“You okay, love?” He spoke, voice hesitant as to not startle very clearly something loud in her mind.

She turned her eyes, squinting at him lightly before whispering, almost too quietly, “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

A tired Y/n, Lando knew, warranted clinginess. That was her usual way of remedying exhaustion, curling up in his arms wherever he was and partaking in a Power Nap. Although, there was none of that as she walked out of the kitchen, turning a corner and disappearing behind their bedroom door.

Third sign; shutting Lando out, the one he hated the most.

He scrolled through his phone for a minute more, not wanting her to know he had already realized her turmoil. He wanted her to believe that his comfort was not out of pity, but love.

When the clock reached an even number, he got up from his seated position and pattered over to their door, knocking lightly.

“Y/n? Can I come in?” He said, though there was no response. He creaked the door open, seeing her frame turned away from him as it laid on their bed, her phone illuminating the room.

Because of the darkness and the only light coming from her phone, he could easily see what she was looking at. It was as clear as day and the reason for her distance, however painful, became apparent.

A twitter thread of why Luisa was better for Lando than Y/n.

It broke his heart.

He stood for a moment, taking in the scene before him and breathing deeply, and deciding his plan of action. It only took him a few seconds, although, he knew exactly what he wanted to say to her.

Lando approached her side of the bed and when his footsteps reached the ears of his beloved, she turned her phone off quickly. He kneeled down beside her, dried tears on her cheeks not going unnoticed by him. His hand cradled the side of her face that wasn’t pushed into her pillow and he kissed her forehead.

“Baby, I saw what you were looking at.” He whispered into the quiet. His green eyes bore into hers as she willed the knot in her throat to dissipate.

Lando gently took her phone from her hands, sliding it off the bed and setting it on the night stand next to him. He nudged her shoulder, signaling for her to move over so he could squeeze into her side of their massive bed. When he laid down, his arms wrapped tightly around her frame, squeezing the skin and warming it as she nuzzled her head into his chest.

“Why are you doing this to yourself? You know they’re wrong.” He tried.

Y/n pulled away from his chest, looking up at him and using her voice, albeit wobbly, “Do I know they’re wrong? Lan, you mean so much to so many people in this world, people you don’t even know the names of.”

He nodded, “Okay, yes, what does that have to do with this?”

She sniffled, “There are so many other women that could compliment you better. Women that people know the name of. Women that have made their mark on this world just like you have. I will never be able to be what you need me to be.”

Lando shook his head, her words outrageous in his mind because she was already everything he needed, just as she was.

“Y/n, what? What are you even saying? That’s crazy. You mean everything to me. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t care about anyone else, anything else. You compliment my life and my happiness perfectly. That’s all that matters.”

Wetness formed beneath her eyes once more and began to fall freely as she toyed with the hem of his shirt, “What if you wake up one day and realize that Luisa is better suited for the life you lead? What if one day you wake up and I am no longer good enough for you?”

Lando gaped at her, truly at a loss for words. In his mind, everything she was saying was so incredibly wrong, she couldn’t be farther from the truth. However, from the sadden look in her eyes, he could tell that she fully believed the things flying from her mouth. That idea, the thought that she was scared one day he would no longer cherish her in the way he does now, made him all the more determined to remind how much she matters to him and how that will never change.

“Y/n, stop. Listen to yourself. Have I ever made you feel inadequate?” He questioned, staring at her fiercely as if what she was saying made him defensive. It did in a way. He was defensive of the love he had for her, taking shame in the fact that he had made her feel as though their relationship would end.

She shook her head as he brought his fingers up to wipe at the tears still falling down her skin, “No, but-”

He brought his pointer finger to her lips, “No buts, Y/n. Listen to me when I tell you this. You have been and always be more than enough for me. You are the start and end of my day, and that is something I never want to change. Being scared that one day I’ll wake up and magically have fallen out of love with you is absolutely fucking clinically insane. It’s been two years we’ve been together, Y/n, and I still badger you at the end of the day, asking what you had done because I love to hear your voice. I love your rambles and I love the way you love me. There’s nothing that’s going to make me want to stop loving you because there’s really no going back. I’m in this with you and I always will be. You need to believe that. Believe me when I say the only way we will end is lying next to each other on our death beds with rings on our left fingers from our wedding decades ago.”

“That’s kind of morbid.” She whispered, a small smile gracing her features as his words sunk beneath her skin.

He chucked and leaned further into her, “It’s true. There will come a time where I get on one knee in front of you and beg you to be with me for the rest of our lives. There will come a time where I will stand in front of all of our friends and family, and declare my love for you and certainty over marrying you. I know these things will happen because I am interchangeably in love with you. And I know you are with me too. So, just leave social media be, baby. Stay here in this moment with me, push all those disgusting fans away and listen to my words. I love you,” He shook her head lightly in his hands as he spoke, “You are worthy of my love and love in general, and there will never come a singular moment where even the thought of leaving you passes my brain. We are it for each other, love. This is it for me.”

Her body relaxed fully into his arms and further into the bed as they stared at each other. Y/n giggled at his words and he smiled down at her, still holding her face whilst lightly rubbing excess tears in her soft skin.

A silence passed before Y/n mumbled, “I think I’m going to delete my social media platforms for a while. Take some time off and get back on track.”

Warmth swelled in Lando’s chest, threatening to spill out from his mouth at overwhelming amounts of it within his body.

“I’m so proud of you, love.” He whispered, leaning in to kiss her softly. He pecked her lips lovingly, sweet nothings spilling from his mouth in the form of the warmth that had been drowning him.

They stayed that way for a few hours, both falling in out of sleep in the arms of the other. And when crickets chirped and the clock read an ungodly time, Lando pulled Y/n from bed, into their bathroom, where he showed her how much he loved her. A bath, some face masks, and low music that he made her dance with him along to, all worked as ways for him to tangibly exude the feelings he had for her. No longer were the ex’s of his past, no longer were jealous fans, no longer were thoughts of unworthiness.

Just him, her, and the love that would never die out.

[e-m-ma-lmfao]

HII im a huge fan of ur writing and ur one of the few final fantasy writers on here thats active 😭😭 i was hoping i could request some zack fair fluff? like before the events of crisis core, maybe he accidentally gets himself sick during work and angeal knows he'll just keep showing up for work bc he wants the promotion to first class so bad, so he gets zacks childhood bestfriend (reader) to go keep an eye on him and make sure he actually rests lol. zack keeps insisting hes ok but reader is having none of it and takes care of him, which eventually leads to a confession bc zack doesnt understand why reader cares so much and it just leads to everything coming out. i hope that made sense lol this is my first request :) dont feel pressured to do this of course!!!

Since We Were Kids

pairing : zack fair x (female) reader

summary : zack is determined to reach first class. so much so that he will push through one of the most debilitating cold's he's ever had. angeal attempts to get him home, calling in zacks childhood best friend for help.

“Angeal! Come on! You know how important this is to me..” Zack lets out a pitiful whine, attempting to persuade his superior, before his whine turns into a horrific coughing fit. He doesn’t have to look up now that Angeal’s face has made no changes, he is stoic and his decision is final, Zack will not be staying for work this week. 

“You can take a week off.. Besides you're of no use to anybody with the state you're in. Go home, get some rest.”

“Fine..” 

“I mean it Zack..” 

“Yeah..yeah..i heard ya.” Zack crosses his arms, heavy sigh passing through his lips, eyebrows furrowing as he walks away from where Angeal stands. He was barely sick..a little cough wasn’t gonna hold him back from becoming a first class SOLDIER.

Zack barely lasts 20 minutes away from his training before his sword is back in his hands. His constant coughing fits are feeling him with annoyance but he powers through them to continue swinging away with the chunk of metal in his hands. 

But why was he so tired? He usually had so much energy. Why was his sword so hard to carry? It never had been before.. 

And why did it feel like someone's hand was on his shoulder? “Zack!”

He jumps away when there is suddenly shouting coming from beside him, his head pounding in a way that wasn't noticeable until this moment, “Angeal! Hey pal..what’re you..uh..doing here?”

“What’re you doing here? I told you to go home.” 

“I can’t go home, this is too important, I’m not even that sick..” Even Zack’s faith in the statement is beginning to falter, especially when his eyes become blurry from the dizziness pooling at the front of his head. 

“Go home.” 

“No way!” Zack expects Angeal to disagree again but he doesn’t, he actually doesn't say anything, he just walks away. It’s so out of character that Zack debates just listening to him and leaving so he doesn’t get demoted, but he decides against it and continues to practice while sweat pools on his skin. 

It doesn’t take long for Angeal to return, Zack isn't worried when he hears his heavy footsteps from down the hallway, but he is unaware of the other pair of feet following close behind.

At this point, Zack is just staying for spite, his body is exhausted and he is barely swinging his sword, and his coughing fits are becoming more frequent to the point where he has to stop moving to take deep breaths. 

“Zack. Enough is enough. Your friend can take you home now.”

“Huh?” Zack turns and almost starts coughing again, but only because the breath hitches in his throat, you shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t be seeing him like this. It’s pitiful, his inability to stay strong for training is embarrassing, and your gaze full of pity isn;t helping in the way it usually does. 

“She’s taking you home.” Zack opens his mouth to argue once more but Angeal has had enough, “No arguing. My decision is final, if I see you here again before I say you can return I will demote you myself, good luck reaching first class then..”

Zack looks defeated but he closes his mouth, and drops his sword with a loud clang, before trudging towards your side with his arms crossed tightly. His mannerisms make a giggle slip out of you, he looks like a child, but you quickly mask it as a cough when he shoots you a serious glare. Also reminiscent of a child but if you laughed again he might punch you. 

He isn’t happy about having to leave, especially being escorted out by a lady half his size, but he doesn’t make any complaints when you intertwine your arm in his to keep him stable. 

“I’m fine, y’know. I’m only going home because Angeal made me.” You nod along with him as he talks, hiding the disbelief running through your head. God was this kid stubborn, but it made you happy to know that his training hadn't changed the way he was when you were kids.  

“Zack, you need to rest..” 

“I need to reach first class.” 

“How do you expect to do that if you can’t even hold your sword up, dork.” His face scrunches up, but to your surprise he doesn’t pull his body away, he actually does the opposite and pulls your arm closer to his body. He’s using you to hold up a large amount of his body weight, but you allow him as long as he needs. 

When you finally reach Zack’s home, it takes more effort to get him into bed then you’d care to admit, he truly acts like a child insisting that he ‘doesn’t need to get any sleep because he feels perfectly fine’ followed by a coughing fit and him having to sit down because he feels dizzy. You promise him the soup that he likes if he gets into bed, to which he begrudgingly agrees to. 

After practically forcing food down his throat, he finally allows himself to be tired and his head falls back onto the pillows. You place a cold cloth on his forehead, after feeling it with your own hands and deciding that his fever might only be worsening. How’d he keep training while being this sick? 

You watch as he dozes off, you can tell he is trying to stay awake so he doesn’t fully admit that he is sick, but his body is taking over. He finally looks at peace, even though his hair is sticking to his forehead and his breathing is heavy, at least he’s getting some rest.

You plan on leaving, really you do, but you get so caught up in the image of him sleeping that you find your own eyes falling closed, head resting by his side against the bed. 

When your eyes open again it’s dark outside, you can’t tell how long you’ve been sitting with him but from the darkness pouring into the room, it’s longer then you meant for. You worry for a moment, worry that you’ve overstayed your welcome and that Zack got up hours ago to sleep away from you, but when you turn the lamp on beside his bed you find him in the same spot you’d left him. 

You’re greedy with how you look at him, you miss being so close to him. The proximity makes you realize how much you’ve missed him since he started his training, you hardly see him. And you wish the circumstances for finally seeing him again weren't because he was sick, and rather because he actually wanted to see you. But you’d take any time you could get with your best friend. 

He stirs suddenly and you let your hand fall on top of his, tangling your fingers in his, as a way to bring him some comfort in his sleep. His skin is warm and clammy, heating up your hands, it should be gross but the feeling of his hand in yours fills your stomach with a flurry of butterflies.

Slowly, his eyes flutter open and you can tell he is dazed, the way he scans the room to gather his surroundings before landing on you once more confirms your thoughts. 

“Y/n?” Zack’s voice is hoarse, causing him to clear his throat before he continues talking, “What’re you still doing here? How long have you been here?”

For a minute your heart pumps inside your chest faster than before, nervousness building in your stomach, “I’m sorry..I fell asleep a couple..hours ago I think. I didn’t want to leave right away in case you woke up again but I never meant to fall asleep.” 

“Why’re you apologizing..” His fingers, which you had forgotten were tangled in your own, tense against your skin and tighten their grip on your hand. 

“Sorry..” 

Your second apology causes him to let out a laugh. A laugh that immediately has him sitting up because he coughs so hard his lungs hurt, and he squeezes your hand tighter in his lap while he tries to catch a breath. 

When he finally catches a break, taking deep breaths while your hand slides up and down his back, he looks at you pitifully, “You’re gonna get sick..go home.” 

“You're crazy if you think I'm going home. I’m not leaving, who’s gonna take care of you?” 

“I can take care of myself, you know..”

“This is news to me.” You raise an eyebrow at him, to which he responds by sticking his tongue out tiredly. He can’t even retort like he usually does. He doesn't have the energy to argue and tell you to leave so you don’t get sick, Zack isn’t even sure he wants you to leave anymore. 

“You don’t have to stay..” 

“I want to, Zack. I care about you.” You can’t tell if his cheeks were already flushed or if they suddenly became red as you spoke to him, but either way you were sure your face was mirroring his.  

He falls back onto the pillows, asking you quietly if you'll get him some water and another blanket before he gets the chills, and you happily oblige. Even while he’s sick, he is able to feel content and you’re happy to be the reason. 

Zack's fingers find your hand again, squeezing gently as you sit on the chair beside him, “..Training is kicking my ass.” 

“Yeah..but I’m sure it’ll be all worth it eventually,” You try not to let his spirits get down especially while he is in such a tired state, his training put on pause because of his sickness, and you ponder telling him more, “I miss you, you know..a lot.”

A small smile appears on his face, eyes puffy and bags under his eyes, and he looks towards you, “Yeah?” 

You can only nod, embarrassed by his lack of affirmation that he has felt the same over the months he’s been training. 

“I missed you too..” And the embarrassment flees from your body instantaneously, while his thumb rubs over the top of your knuckles. 

The two of you sit in silence for a while, him playing with your knuckles as he tries to hold back the aggressive coughs that threaten to leave his mouth. His head is pounding, and he should feel like shit, but he truly can’t bring himself to when you're looking into his eyes all concerned and you’re letting him play with your hands with no complaints.

“Why’d you stay?” His voice startles you, and you try to pretend that you weren't staring at him and admiring every detail of his face. 

“I already told you..” You roll your eyes, letting out a huff before leaning on the palm of your hand, in all honesty you were ready to doze off while Zack looked around your hands and face. 

“No..no..why’d you stick around?” His question confuses you and you have to think about what he might mean and then it clicks. You hadn’t realized that he might be aware of how much time his training takes up. It hadn’t occurred to you that Zack could focus on anything but becoming first class.

He’d been neglecting your friendship, but when Angeal rang and asked you to pick Zack up you agreed without hesitation, you forgot instantly about how angry his schedule made you. 

You’re not sure how to answer him. You could tell him the truth, that you had been madly in love with your black haired friend since you were children.

Or you could continue to lie, and claim that you had only stayed around because of your long lasting friendship that had absolutely no underlying romantic feelings that neither one of you could talk about. 

“C’mon Zack..” 

He stares into your eyes, right through you. He knows, he already knows, you don’t have to say anything to him. As he looks at you, he's pleading with you to admit it to him and it makes your stomach crawl with nervousness. 

“Y’know I’d do anything for you..been like that since we were kids.” His eyebrows furrow at your attempt to dodge an admission that you hadn’t been prepared for an hour ago, you still weren't ready to admit to him that you were in love with him. 

“Y/n..do you love me?” 

Again silence fills the room and you’re unsure what to say to the expectant boy. You think, for a second, that he's joking. But his eyes are filled with such sincerity and genuine interest. He wants to know, and he doesn't seem to care if his question comes off bluntly.

When you don’t immediately respond he continues in your place, “Because I think I’m in love with you and I know I’d do anything for you. And I think you feel the same way. I can’t think of any other reason why you wouldn't ignore Angeal’s call, and tell me to deal with this by myself. I know I haven't been around like I should be. But you’re here anyway..”

“Zack please..of course I do. Been like that since we were kids,” You smile softly, repeating yourself and look down at your entangled hands.

He doesn’t let that allow that for very long before he is grabbing your chin to turn your head to face him once more, “I’m not gonna kiss you, because I don't want you getting sick. But I promise you, as soon as this sickness is gone I’m gonna be all over you..” 

Even though his words, words you would've never expected to hear when you dragged him into his room just hours earlier, send a nervous shiver down your body you still find a way to tease him, “Careful Zack. Get too excited and your lungs might act up again.”

“Can I ask you to stay the night?” 

How could you ever say no. 

“Of course, Zack, anything for my first class SOLDIER.” 

[hypnoneghoul]

okay this is the one topic I will go on anon for, dont mind me.

anyway, seeing as we have a kind of piss thing going on (a trickle if you will god Im sorry)

what about rain convincing the others to just, completely soak him in a gold shower. like think bukkake but piss. I would love to see it with everyone but if also understand if you dont want to do that, in that case choose who you think are best for the scenario. and if you dont wanna write it at all thats also perfectly fine pls dont feel like you have to!

bestie the noise that escaped my mouth when i saw that... yeah

700 words, what it says in the ask so bukkake but piss, rain x all the boys with transmasc dew, bit of p in v

Rain is a freak. He may not seem like one, but he is and all the pack knows it all too well. Each and every one of them was a subject of his… fantasies so many times it was uncountable at this point, whether he was doing something to them or asking them to do something to him.

One of Rain’s favorites was when it was the others’ turn to do something to him. All of them, preferably.

It started with a good old fashioned orgy. A sex party, if you will, though this time the ghoulettes kept away, letting the boys to their own devices. The ghouls locked themselves in Rain’s room hours ago and only noises that kept spilling out of there were an indicator of them still being alive and well. Maybe not too well.

The party was slowly coming to an end. Its grand finale. Everyone had taken a cock and everyone’s cock was taken. Nearly everyone had cum, at least twice. All the sexual tension of the day was dissipating. They were getting tired, but it was still not over.

Rain was still waiting.

He was engaging alright; he’d eaten Dewdrop out, rode Mountain and fucked Phantom, but as they all kept cumming, he didn’t. Not once.

“Fuck…” Swiss sighed as he was coming down from his fourth orgasm of the night, this one inside Dewdrop’s cunt. “This is fun, but I don’t think anyone’s got more in ‘em.”

“I second this,” Aether grumbled from under Phantom. “Got your fill, Tadpole?”

“Ugh. Fine.” Everyone chuckled at Rain’s dramatic eye roll. The water ghoul truly was insatiable, but if he wanted his plan to be followed through, he’d have to agree to do it now. Otherwise he’d have to milk it out of them all asleep, which… he wouldn’t entirely mind, neither would they, but it wasn’t the plan. Rain crawled out of Mountain’s lap and to the middle of the room, settling on his knees.

“You sure you don’t wanna move to the shower?” Phantom asked, still a bit concerned. He did take part in Rain’s… play time more than once, but this particular type of action was his first. 

“Don’t you worry about it, bug,” Swiss scoffed. “He’s got it.”

“Come here,” the water ghoul all but growled at nobody in particular. All of them, really. “Soak me, make me cum.”

They didn’t need any further encouragement.

With some groans and hisses all of them made their way over to kneeling Rain, taking their positions all around him. So simple, yet so powerful. Only Dewdrop waited, sitting at the edge of the bed and staring Rain down with fire in his eyes. As usual, the best part was his.

“Come on,” the water ghoul spat out once more and without further ado, the ghouls looked at each other and got even closer. Rain was opening his mouth again but instead of words, a high pitched moan left it when Mountain’s piss hit his chest. Then Aether on his back, Swiss on his right, Phantom on his left.

Rain was completely blissed out, shuddering and moaning, hands gripping his thighs, as he was being absolutely showered in hot piss. His red cock was rock hard and leaking, waiting for the slightest of touches to make him burst, cum so hard he’d black out. He couldn’t hear the noises others were making, in awe of their packmate so filthy. 

As all the streams were slowly dying out, Dewdrop stepped in. Finally.

He straddled Rain’s lap and the water ghoul’s eyes snapped open. Before he could register what was going on, Dewdrop slammed himself all the way down onto his cock, his wet and stretched out cunt swallowing Rain up to the very hilt with no issue.

Debauched moans rang out from both of them and the fire ghoul rolled his hips exactly once before letting go with a sigh and pissing all over Rain’s cock, balls and thighs. Rain wailed, then, jaw going slack and head falling backwards as he shook all over and cummed deep inside Dewdrop, some of his copious amounts of cum leaking out and mixing with the other’s piss, still trickling out.

Now, Rain was satiated.

[littlehypnone]

idk if youve done anything like this but um

big rain losing trust in dew after an argument? so later when shes little, she doesnt have her main cg and she goes to find someone else and is sad?

and then maybe later, dew makes it up to her or something idk

im feeling kinda yucky and bad so idk but just an idea ?

i really liked this idea!!!

Rain and Dewdrop don’t argue often. Even when they do, it’s usually something borderline petty that would be resolved easily if one—or both—of them simply wouldn’t not be in a very communicative headspace. They always make up quickly, though, and their relationship is never damaged in the end. It’s always like that and everyone is used to it.

Sometimes, though, complications come up.

This time it was—technically—Dewdrop who was at fault, who started the argument. If only Rain wouldn’t have been as tired and achy as he was, if only he wouldn’t have added fuel to the fire with his words. But no, it didn’t go that smoothly, and so the fire ghoul had stormed off outside to take a very much needed breather, and Rain had returned to his room scoffing and snarling.

Hours later, Rain is overthinking the argument and feeling more and more guilty about the last couple of words that left his mouth before they went their separate ways. This and the pain that is pulsing through his legs that day is a simple recipe for the water to ghoul little, so little she ends up.

Her thoughts aren’t nice and she really, really needs Dewdrop, as usual in her current headspace, but all the mean things he said…she isn’t sure Dewdrop still likes her, and she isn’t sure she has enough trust for him while in her vulnerable state.

She sniffles sadly and fumbles with her phone to send Swiss a short message. A code they have set for when Rain goes little and needs him, but, for whatever reason, can’t get him any other way. Two emojis go flying and Rain cuddles around her shark plushie and waits.

Soon enough, Swiss appears in the door and immediately crawls into the water ghoulette’s bed and lays on his side next to her. “Hi, guppy.”

“Hi, Swissy,” she mumbles. She really likes Swiss and is always happy to spend time with him—big or little—but the argument with Dewdrop still hangs over her, and the fact that the fire ghoul is not there with her to calm down her bad thoughts hurts her. “Can I…can I get warm Swissy cuddles?”

“Of course you can, princess!” the multi ghoul smiles, intent or doing his best to cheer the little thing up, even though he knows he isn’t powerful enough to get rid of all the ickiness. Everyone knows Rain needs Dewdrop for that, but it's hard when he’s the cause.

Rain curls her lips upwards the tiniest bit, just to show Swiss she really appreciates him, before she curls up against his chest and nuzzles into his neck.

Swiss helps her fall asleep with a little spark of calming quintessence, and she naps for a while—all the bad thoughts kept at bay. When she wakes up again it’s to a quiet knocking at the door and she’s a lot smaller than before falling asleep. Her head is all fuzzy, but it’s okay. It’s warm and nice, thanks to Swiss.

The multi ghoul calls out for the person to come in, but he curls around the little ghoulette in his arms protectively. Fiery smell reaches Rain’s nose and she understands it’s Dewdrop who came in. She whines quietly and hides in Swiss’ chest.

“Dew, I don’t think it’s a good time,” the multi ghoul mutters, but there’s no anger in his voice. He knows it’s just how Dewdrop and Rain are, that they’ll be fine. “She’s really small and she just woke up from a nap.”

“Oh, I…Okay, I’ll go…I’m sorry,” he whispers, and even though Rain is so very sleepy and a bit scared of the fire ghoul at the moment, she doesn’t like the tone of his voice. She doesn’t like how small and sad it is.

“No,” Rain says quietly, barely loud enough for Dewdrop’s ears to catch it. “Don’ go, Dewy.”

“Are you sure, my little lady?” he asks and it sounds like he’s moved closer.

“Mhm.”

“What about me, princess?” Swiss pulls back to look down at her and tuck a strand of her hair behind a little ear. “Do you want me to stay or go?”

“Don’ gotta stay, Dewy’s fine.” She tells him. The multi ghoul nods in understanding and leans down to kiss her forehead before moving away. Rain immediately feels cold and Swiss notices, so he tucks a fluffy blanket right under her chin.

“If you’ll need me send me the code again, alright?”

“Mhm,” she hums in agreement and Swiss smiles softly and leaves. He clasps a hand over Dewdrop’s shoulder on his way and squeezes reassuringly.

The fire ghoul sighs heavily when the door closes. He takes a step forward, twisting his fingers. “Can I sit in the bed with you? I can offer some warm cuddles, if you’d like that.”

Rain nods and wiggles a hand out from under the covers to pat the mattress encouragingly. Dewdrop can’t help but smile; he really doesn’t deserve this sweet creature.

He gets onto the bed and under the blankets and waits for Rain to get into a cuddle position she feels comfortable with and she decides to curl up against his side, similarily to how she’s been with Swiss. Probably so she can be close and warm, but so that she can kept her face hidden in the blanket and Dewdrop’s chest. He throws an arm around her little form and she doesn’t tense up, so he holds her closely.

“I’d like to talk about our argument properly when you’re big again, my little lady,” the fire ghoul says—quietly and softly, no pressure to respond or even hear him in it, “but I want to apologize now, if that’s okay.”

“I’s okay.”

“Alright. Well, then, I apologize. I’m sorry I was being mean and said all those bad things. I was wrong and I shouldn’t have snapped at you, Rainy. I’m very sorry.”

“‘m sorry, too,” the water ghoulette mumbles and Dewdrop frowns.

“What for, my little lady?”

“Was mean, too,” she shrugs and looks up. Dewdrop could just about melt at her big, blue eyes. “D’yoo still like me?”

“Oh, baby,” the fire ghoul whines, hurt by the question alone. How badly he messed up if Rain has such doubts? He feels terrible. “You have nothing to be sorry for, I deserved being mean to, and I will never, ever stop liking you, my little lady. Please, never forget that.”

“Mmm…okay,” she whispers and it turns into a yawn. She definitely needs to continue that nap. “I still like you, too, Dewy.”

Dewdrop smiles so big both his face and his heart hurt. They’ll be fine.

[nerves-nebula]

yea so anyway mob/vigilante justice is always a bad idea. the people likely to get the brunt of that are always the most marginalized, the easiest targets, the ones no one will miss. we like to talk about csa a lot on this blog (and by we i mean i) and that includes a lot of you sending me very graphic and hyperbolic descriptions of violence you wanna commit against my abusive characters. which is fine (I mean it would have been better if you'd all asked before doing that but lucky for you I enjoy gore so w/e)

but if you like, actually genuinely want to "kill all rapists" or something then you are an untrustworthy person. that kind of lust for genuine violence is really reactionary and disconcerting. it doesn't come from a place of care and it kinda just makes it seem like you really want to hurt and/or murder someone but you're waiting for a good excuse (as in, a "bad enough" person) to do it.

even if you set aside the wave of queerphobia we're living through which asserts that all queer people, and especially openly queer people, are sexual predators (which im only setting aside because i dont have the energy to get into it right now) it's still wholly unhelpful to the actual victims of these crimes cause like. you're not supporting them. you're not giving them resources, you're just satiating your lust for violence and revenge on their behalf. and worst of all you're making accusations of sexual abuse a life or death scenario (even more than they already are for some people)

how is a kid supposed to feel comfortable telling you their parent is abusing them if they think you'll KILL that parent for it? Kids usually love their parents, or at least know that without them they'll have to fend for themselves. (I personally would be afraid that whatever adult i ended up with would be worse, and seeing how the foster care system in the USA is I don't think that fear is unfounded) and tbh a lot of rape & sexual abuse is weird and complicated. I certainly don't want my siblings killed for what they did to me.

you can say "oh that's different" all you want, and I won't even argue that there are some things people do that I personally think make them deserving of death, but it is not my right to go out and kill them. I refuse to acknowledge that anyone, any government or group of people have the right to just decide to murder people. because we all know the people they'll be murdering first and foremost aren't the powerful people who traffic children.

idk i could talk about this for hours but im unusually tired rn. maybe seeing this unthinking blood lust just depresses me. like, I think you guys just hear the word "pedo" or "sex offender" and black out with rage instead of having any coherent thoughts on what we can actually do to support people being sexually abused and keep them safe. I don't care about hurting abusers, I don't want more people hurt! I want the victims safe and recovering!

ack, whatever. don't try to justify your violent desires to me, i've seen enough violence for one lifetime.

[errorscriber]

there's been a lot of talks about shidou's safety in regards to amane now that Purge March has dropped, I would like to give some people peace of mind about amane's threat to shidou. there have been lore drops here and there that implies he'll be fine

21/03/22 (Kazui’s First Trial)

Shidou: Mukuhara-san, you’ve not been looking great ever since you came back.

Kazui: Ahh…… yeah, I still haven’t got back to my usual self huh. Y’know, Shidou-kun…… kids can be really brutal huh. I don’t have any of my own so hadn’t realised until now.

Shidou: Haha, so they are. They won’t listen to the excuses adults make to explain themselves. ……though that’s also what makes them cute.

Kazui: Yeah… You’re really mature, Shidou-kun. By comparison, I’m really immature huh. Not growing up in any way other than my age. ……*sigh* Even I’m starting to hate that about myself.

22/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Kazui: What’s up, Shidou-kun? You’re looking pretty down. I guess you must be tired, I’ve been relying on you a lot lately.

Shidou: Yeah, I just remembered…… today is Amane’s birthday. I’m just getting a bit sentimental.

Kazui: Hmm, it’s unfortunate, but at the moment we can’t worry about that. ……you understand, right? There’s something that you need to do right now. And if you tried talking to her your words definitely won’t reach her. Don’t look at me like that. We’ll just wait until the situation changes. Let’s do our best.

Shidou: Yeah. I’ll do what I can. I can’t have a child making a face like that. Even though we’re “murderers”…… we’re also the adults here.

22/10/24 (Shidou’s Birthday)

Amane: ……Kirisaki Shidou. How long do you plan on continuing this foolish behaviour?

Shidou: I wonder what you might be referring to there. I’m just doing what I need to do. If anything, I’d be happy if you would lend me a hand.

Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand?

Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.

i know prison isn't really comparable to a hospital, but shidou is a doctor. he's probably met folks who are averse towards medical treatments. we have to also remember he's canonically a father as well. the patience in this man knows no bounds! shidou is the person who knows best that children can get volatile if they go through their word and actually initiate in their tantrums.

in the second trial we've clearly seen him be more proactive and more motivated to interact and help other people in the prison. to me, these conversations shidou has had implies that he'll find a way or be able to defend himself is amane were to do something to him.

maybe let's say, i am grasping for straws here and maybe shidou is gonna be in ruins but for now i want to have faith in that guy. he's tried to be gentle and passive around amane at first from the very beginning, now he knows that type of approach doesn't work. i surely hope he's prepared and i think from these conversations, shidou himself is trying to prepare for what is about to come.

i do want to take amane seriously and respect her wishes not to downplay her as a child but im not gonna try and give her too much power, i don't think she's a Big and Major Threat we should all worry about. i know there are so many variables we have to consider in the second trial towards what to vote. regardless of what you want to vote her this trial, i think our first trial verdict has already locked her thoughts into place anyway.

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Futa: ……! O-oh, it’s just you. It’s nothing. ……but well, on that note. Hey. Don’t you have anything happening too? Since being in here, just suddenly getting anxious. Feeling as though loads of people are all there condemning you, telling you you were wrong.

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either…… ……today is your birthday, correct? I’ll pray for God to keep you under his care.

this is my first time doing a post like this so im sorry if there are any misunderstandings i have regarding these conversations. i do hope that maybe you can find some faith that shidou will turn out fine in some way. he's going to beef with a 12 year old. he should start thinking about what to do.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

If you dont mind me asking, while dont you want to rewatch how to train your dragon or ratatouille, but spiderverse is a fav?

I love movie vents

Oh Dear

so- to start with, again, these movies are GOOD! they are good and i am glad they exist. i just have to stay far far away from them.

the why starts years ago. it starts with reading book after book after book.... after book... and watching movie after movie after mov- you get it, just basically Everything- where the default non-romance story is about a Boy.

And often this boy is mediocre. He's relatable, you know? He's just normal. But by the end, he's done all this cool stuff and got all this cool stuff- He won the thing! Or got the thing! He showed everyone just how good he was- okay sometimes yes by lying about it for most of the story but he comes clean in the end so it's fine.

Usually he also gets a girl. Or impresses her. Something like that.

That was. Well. It got stale after a while. I have four sisters and was raised by my single mom. People (mostly) looked at me and saw a girl.

But hey, the stories and movies had other stuff I like so whatever, you know? Aliens and swords and stuff. Maybe the main character was character I liked the least, so what. The story needed him to exist.

What does this have to do with the three animated movies so many people fell in love with?

Well.

They each remember girls exist. And ladies can be cool. They can be good at stuff!

But.

No matter how good she is, no matter how much she's trained or how hard she worked or respects this thing or how much it means to her-

the guy will be better at it than her

the guy. who couldn't do the thing at all.

he just needs a quick montage, or a rat under his hat, and suddenly she's in the dust

And you know what that's fine it's fine it's especially fine in Kung Fu Panda where the boy (po) is fat and the point is that's okay he can be fast and graceful and powerful and cool- THAT i've never seen before and it's Amazing-

only. po still.... he still gets the place tigress spent her whole life training for.

This still in a world where most of the powerful people (shifu, tai lung, oogway, the other kung fu masters we see in that and later films) most of them are, well, guys.

It's a whole lot of guys.

Everywhere. Guys. Why? No idea. Their gender doesn't really inform or guide their actions. Tigress and Viper aren't commented on as rare for being lady martial artists. There's no reason for there not to be more lady kung fu masters. I guess this is a movie made by guys and so the default is guys. Fine! No problem!

im so tired

po becomes dragon warrior in a montage of training and a quick dose of self realization. tigress is impressed and stops being mean to him. the fandom wants them married

no big deal

I'll come back to that in a moment, but-

Hiccup is the mediocre guy (by viking standards) who through trickery (empathy) becomes the best at this thing that this girl he likes is really good at. but he comes clean in the end and she's very impressed and he's so much better at the thing now he's the best at the thing and saves her at some point and now she's into him and they get together

tired

hey there's this guy and he's bad at thing and this cool girl is good at thing so through trickery he gets better at her than thing bc there's a rat under his hat but don't worry he comes clean and the girl is very impressed

i can't . im too tired

if she didn't like him before he was cool, i don't want them together afterwards.

I'm so exhausted of being told it's sweet

the same implication bashed over my head again and again- a guy cannot be loved if he is just a dork or just mediocre. He has to also be "cool".

The girl won't notice or like him until he is Better than her at the thing she loves

the other implication- no matter how hard a girl trains, how long she studies, how much she works for it- the guy can learn it in a montage and do it better. Or he can lie about it and that's okay too.

(po was a kung fu nerd but im sorry, im sorry that's not the same as training from childhood)

(do you remember how in legally blonde the ex boyfriend wasn't even that good at lawyer studies like elle getting better than him didn't mean her being the best ever and she ends up being so good bc of the other stuff that WAS part of her main life experience?? remember that?????)

(maybe if they'd leaned in more into Po's fat protecting him and his nerdness or cooking xp guiding him against tai lung, but he uses epic kung fu to fight the most dangerous master around and holds his own. he does better than tigress did with four others to back her up. im sorry. i know it's awesome and im glad it's a film. i can't rewatch it)

WHY did they make tigress want to be dragon warrior?

they never really explore her and shifu's relationship in that movie or the sequels. there's so little pay off to her accepting that she can't be the student or child shifu always wanted and lost. they are never the focus of the movies. never even plot B. Tigress didn't need to want this

the only ones who had to be ANGRY about po as dragon warrior was tai lung and shifu, his master who has to train him and the rival who wants his title. Everyone else could have just been reasonably confused and skeptical. tigress could have gone off to fight tai lung purely out of a lack of faith in po and wish to protect shifu- why why why why why did they have the plot point of her WANTING to be dragon warrior and RESENTING po for taking it? why did they have po filling this role she worked so hard to be ready for?

why did her character have to be a SHE for that, in a world with almost no other important or powerful ladies?

oh. right. girls can be good, but the guy will be better. that's the only way she'll respect him.

i've seen this story before

I don't think it's insidious or anything like that. It's just, the normal.

That's why I can't watch it.

im tired

Atlantis The Lost Empire- Milo is a noodle guy he solves things with brains and compassion and curiosity, Kida is the one with a spear, the lady throwing guys around-

ah but we must have Milo physically brawl with the villain to save Kida. he can be a lame nerd, but only if he also is "Cool"

tired

NOW. Spiderman Into the Spiderverse!

Miles never takes Gwen's place.

They are BOTH their universe's spiderman- he CAN'T replace her, he CAN'T outdo her, he CAN'T be better than her-

because there is no Best version of spiderman

a pig can be spiderman

YOU can be spiderman

so when he gets his confidence in time for the last fight, when Miles finds his groove and takes his leap of faith after a whole movie of stumbling around flailing frantically and turns badass- he takes NOTHING from Gwen. Nothing.

She is still her world's spidy,

and AND she liked him BEFORE he was "cool"!!!!!

When he was a mess desperately trying to figure things out, she tried to help him. Worked with him. Became friends with him.

Friends.

That also. My gods. He tries to flit at the end, she smiles and says friends, he smiles and they fist bump over it.

He got cool and didn't get the girl.

He was himself and already had a friend.

She is powerful and cool and a girl and worked hard to get where she is, and no one EVER outdoes her at it.

You can make a story about a normal guy becoming badass while crushing on an awesome girl, you can LIFT HIM UP without having to PUSH HER DOWN.

They can stand on the same level and be epic together.

I've needed to see that story, for so. Fucking. Long.

so yeah. my tiny personal problem. there 'tis

[hebimoonlightwrites]

hello there dear! i’m new to tumblr, and i never knew there were such sweet people like you writing wonderful scenarios w/ hypnosis mic characters for everyone! as i was reading through your content, i could tell through your writing that you are very passionate about writing, and you seem like a very kind individual!

i really liked the kind of request that neru-anon requested, i hope its ok if i try this as well! ill try to keep everything brief, as im not a super interesting person to begin with- Σ੧(❛□❛✿)

my name is ryusei, which contains the kanji for flow, 流 and star, 星. i go by she/they (whichever is fine!) and i’m currently 20, and studying music and psychology! im a rather quiet person, but i’ll always be willing to lend an ear if anyone wants to chat/vent! i’m very overprotective in a way thats not too conspicuous, and very loyal to anyone who calls me their friend. in contrast to that, i can hold myself well in a fight, and i’m surprisingly physically strong, but just get tired super quickly… (my stamina is… well… not good) i like smiling, but it’s difficult to express my facial emotions well, so i usually wear a mask in public. i’m an adaptable person, but i get overwhelmed easily, especially when there are too many numbers… i have asd, bpd, and ocd, and there was a point in my teenage years where that severely impacted my social life and academics, so i always like to keep my guard up, but i like to talk a lot so i end up saying too much sometimes-! i have a couple friends, but i’m not a “people person” i guess.

i enjoy listening to a wide range of music and i really love artists like Atarashii Gakko!, 周深 (his voice is so soothing!), (G)I-DLE, Ichiko Aoba, vocaloid, and Hypmic music! you can check them out if you’d like, they’re all very talented musicians/singers!

i’d rather not go into my family affairs too much, as my parents don’t have a healthy relationship with each other which affected my brother and i, so we don’t talk much now. but my younger brother (as chaotic as he may be) is important to me.

i won’t go into my panic attacks too much as i know this topic may be triggering for some people, but they’re usually hard to spot, and people other than me usually can’t tell because of my quietness.

i really like cats! i’d like to own one myself in the future, maybe when i can take care of myself better ヽ(；▽；)ノ i visit cat cafes when i visit japan sometimes, although im not as fluent as a local, its enough for me to book time slots for cat cafes at least!

when i’m in a bad mood, i lash out and break down easily at people, so i have a tendency to self isolate sometimes.

i like… a lot of foods! i don’t like fruit, insects (both in food and in general),and extravagant stuff though… i like coffee with loads of sugar… haha… i dont get drunk easily but im not too fond of alcohol… maybe cocktails but not super bitter stuff. i can withstand smoke but i don’t smoke myself.

i don’t care too much about clothing, but i want to look presentable at least. i do like cute clothes, but i usually go with super minimalistic/vintage clothes.

i like kind people! i strive to be kind myself! i want to be able to mutually help each other with our problems! i have the power to be able to help others, and honestly helping other people is easier than figuring out what to do with my own problems. unconditional love is important to me. i have problems with self confidence, and i’m also pretty hard to read, so someone who could really understand that would be nice. my love language is… physical contact i think? i like hugging and jumping around and stuff, but i dont do that much cause im paranoid about bothering people. i like affection a lot!! i didn’t have a super affectionate family, but i like people who show they care through their actions (and sometimes maybe words?) i would honestly offer everything i have for someone who would genuinely love me, but i doubt even someone in the hypmic cast would be interested… (´；Д；`)

thank you for reading all this stuff hebi! please take care! its a bit late where i am, so i’m going to head to sleep. goodnight hebi! (_ _).｡o○

(sorry for any spelling errors TT)

Writer's corner: Hey, sweetheart! Thank you for requesting for this kind of request! I honestly really like playing Cupid's role, haha!♥ Of course the following is only mu thoughts and headcanons, so don't feel forced to think just like I do, okee~? Also, I don't know who are your favourite characters or if there's any you dislike qwq In case i chose one you don't like, please, text me so I can change him to the "second" or the "third" choice at the bottom of this post, okee? Plus, sweetheart, please let me know if there's any mistake♥ Enjoy~♥

Warnings: nothing~ safe here~

⭐𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬/𝐨⭐

⭐Hey, sweetheart! I'm thankful for all the sweet words you told me.. qwq♥ I'm so glad that you do enjoy my writings, as I always try to do my best. My main mission is to bring a smile to people's faces, so I do hope this will bring a smile to yours as well!♥

⭐First of all I wanted to tell you that you seem a nice and amazing person, so there's not really need to be that unconfident, especially when it comes to physical affection! It's true that there are people who are introverted and maybe against PDA (like me, oof..), but as an introverted I can tell that people like you- who likes affection, hugging, smiling- are very appreciated. You can literally cheer people around you up and this is so powerful!♥ As I read your description, I don't hide the fact that I immediately thought about Matenrou and Fling Posse bois; On one hand things about you like studying psychology, being kind of unconfident, dreaming about getting some physical affection, getting easily overwhelmed and getting silent panic attacks really made me think about Matenrou and, in particular, about Doppo somehow..♥ On the other hand things like wearing minimalistic/vintage cute clothes, enjoying music, liking affection and jumping around, being a good listener, liking cats and being actually a trustful and loyal friend made me think about Fling Posse and their friendship, but especially to Gentaro and Ramuda, somehow♥ The fact that you do care a lot about your brother, the fact that you prefer helping others and try your best to be a good person, and especially, though, the fact that you are unconfident or maybe simply do not realize how nice you truly are.. well.. These things really bring me to think that you could kin Doppo- along with Gentaro and Ramuda-, somehow! BUT, we are here to find your other-half, and this isn't surely Doppo, since I do believe he is not that type of man pro to PDA and gets easily flustered.. (but.. who knows? He could get a crush on you~). Plus he's 29, so... ugh.. I know age isn't important in a couple and that love can be for everyone, but we need someone more...! We need someone who would be there for you, who would easily understand you- since you specifically said that you're "hard to be read"- and who's going to love you unconditionally. Someone who would show his affection towards you without any hesitation and problem! Someone who has interests similar to yours maybe.. who does enjoy music a lot, who enjoy food and who's protective of the ones he holds dear! Someone who can understad you fully and maybe even being that good of a partner who'd be able to get the moment when you're silently having a panic attack..

⭐..Okay.. I got my results~

⭐So.. (unless you don't like gambling..).. I feel like Dice would be a perfect first choice! We're literally talking about someone who seems dumb as f##, but it's canon that he has some serious and deep thinking moments, especially when he's alone. He looks dumb, but he's not at all. Just like you, Dice does enjoy music, as he tries to create some using "instruments" like grass or empty cans- even if it's said that he can play piano and violin, oof. Just like you, he does care a lot about his friends and he's even protective of the ones he holds dear. Dice loves his friends unconditionally- even if some could think that he's Gentaro's friend because he owes him money, Dice does actually care about him too. Plus, if he gamble, that means that he has a "not-toxic" relationship with numbers! (jk, Ryusei♥ *hugs*)

⭐So I'm sure that through his energetic and dumb-apparent look, he would be the best of a partner for you! You with your stable-life and him with his risky-life would be the perfect yin and yang. I can already imagine him randomly hugging you or simply poking your face as he notices that your mind is overthinking.. he would get that maybe you're starting to panic silently and would whisper: "Hey... u okay?", with a reassuring smile. After meeting your eyes he would simply open his arms to hug you, especially if he's certain that you need affection. Dice would try his best to cheer you up, especially when he feels like you're having a "no"-day. I can even imagine you both petting stray cats or him visiting you and holding one of your school books like: "Daaaaamn.. how can you even understand all of this?!.. It feels like blabbering!", playing the fool part only to make you chuckle. Even so, he would show how proud he is of you and how much he does really admire you. "How can you be so smart to understand that blabbering?!", Dice would exclaim only to hear your chuckle again. "I.. I like your chuckle, y'know? It's.. cute.."

⭐About the others Fling Posse's and Matenrou's members, well.. ⭐Jakurai: He could be a kind uncle/father to you. Since he's a doctor he could really take care of your "no"-moments, even also hugging you, why not? Plus I'm 100% sure he would be so proud of you for studying psychology! You're going to be one of his work colleague, one of the most amazing one, actually!♥ ⭐Hifumi: Except for those times his fear for women would be evident, he would show his support to you just as much as he does with Doppo! Hifumi is a kind-hearted man so he'd be energetic enough to drive you to be the same and you both would be great friends for sure! After some time, though, I think he would start to learn to "read" you, because he already did it with Doppo~♥ ⭐Doppo: I feel like you could kin him, as I said before. Doppo is the one who paradoxically would tell you stuff like "W-what?! But.. you're amazing, Ryusei! Don't you ever think otherwise. You cannot understand how great you are?!".. I mean.. bruh, you're just like her! But I feel like he would even usually vent in your presence or inviting you to get some coffee together, why not?♥ ⭐Ramuda: Oh... ohhh. Ramuda would be the best at showing his affection towards you, especially now that you're officially a posse~! He would jump around and hug you randomly, but I feel like you would also be there noticing his "no"-moments too♥ ⭐Gentaro: You would have a calm but intellectual relationship with him. Both of you would go to the café, wearing vintage clothes and I feel like Gentaro would appreciate your company, as your dressing style seems similar to his one. He's also a good listener, just like you, so I feel like you could even take a chance to talk to him. He would give you his "honest" advices... oof♥

Top three results:

⭐1- Dice

⭐2- Ramuda

⭐3-Doppo

©hebimoonlightwrites_tumblr Please, do not copy my contents nor repost it without my permission.

[journeysfable]

My friend told me to be kind to myself but I genuinely don't think I'm deseeving of kindness

I've yelled at my stepdad several times. I didn't mean to. I did it before I even realized I was gonna do it.

Forget basic manners.

I forget a lot of things. I forget chores mostly. I struggle to do my chores and then other people do them right before I do.

I think I generally come off as rude. Like subconsciously. I misunderstood what my stepdad asked me. He said "Are all the dishes done being washed?" (Which I then processed an entire convo in my head. I thought if I said yes he'd point to the rest of the dishes sink and say I wasn't done. Which would be out of character for him.) I said "Yes but those aren't mine." He repeated the question several times and at some point I said "I've washed all the dishes. Well, all of my dishes" which considering I later found out the dishes in the sink were his, probably sounded rude, when I just intended to emphasise. And throughout my life people have laughed at me rolling my eyes when I swear I didn't, and commented on me looking upset or grumpy when I was fine or even happy.

(I wonder if thats one my main issues is trying to process entire conversations ahead of time. Or reading into every single sentence and every possible implication. Idk what that says about me yet)

I keep accidentally turning people against my stepdad when venting. Those people are usually my Mom and grandma, which leads to my stepdad getting in trouble

I make so many assumptions

Keep forgetting basic manners. Just doesn't occure to me. I forget to say "please" or "excuse me" I usually just wait or try to dodge people. Last one Might've started in school when no matter how loud I was nobody heard me in crowds so it was just easier to wait, dodge, and weave. But now its a rude habit. I don’t even notice when I'm in other people's way

Accidentally let somebody steal a ds game

Accidentally let my rats chew through one of my stepdad's fav blankets. (He let me use it to cover their cage and keep them warm through a power outage. I didn't realize I'd wrap their cage tight enough for them to grab nor did I realize it was valued. Should've been more careful anyway)

I genuinely can't think of reason to be kind to myself because every day I'm a bitch. I don't even mean to be. Feels like I exist and I ruin people's day. But my friend told me to be kind to myself and now I'm conflicted. Im also just getting tired of being kind to myself. Idk what to.

Idk how to be kind to myself.

Gen q: Do I even deserve kindess?

I don't know what to do.

[so0ppa]

"Live blogging" (not really kind of more like a thread but alaso not. really.) about the new TWA episode because this is a thing i just do nowadays i guess?

Like 25 seconds in and I already really like this it's so sillay stupid teehee lit rpg... noo its on firee... sorry bad joke my . bad.

can he stop saying ghetto. not really a term id use when talking about just genres i find that. weird. weird use of words.

WHEN DID HE QSK FOR RECOMMENDATIONS FHJGJG I FEEL STUPID. FUCK. (time to spend more than double the time of this video to find wtf he's talking about) ok can't find it in any outro or description from the last 11 months so it might be in like a video itself but. im not rewatching so much of twa rn.

ahem anyways. continuing the video. ooh. nooo. fuck. the harem. awesome (sarcasm)

POINTING OUT THE INHALE PSLFJSG holy fuck my favourite item the kitchen sink is here /j oh ok that eldritch horror book design is actually rlly cool i think. YEAHH PET SNAIL.

guy who hates stats like in general (me) i can't stand them my autistic ass does not understand what actions would fall into what stat group like I am too stupid for rpgs maybe.

oop subtitling mistake there's a "?" between "skills" & "the rng" when its actually a continuous sentence. smh smh (might not be the case in the youtube upload idk) OH another mistake. "out with" instead of outwit.

the description to this author's pet ability is rlly funny WAIT HEAD EXPLOSION & SUMMON KITCHEN SINK ?!?€&×[/*(@(=

omg.. singularity liek in... aeon legio- [gunshot]

idk why but the "but im special!" line is rlly silly to me ♡ like yes for sure absolutely

ok the sx stuff is kinda tiring like cool shut up we get it BUT. counter argument just the word "Boobies!" on an otherwise completely empty two-page spread is REALLY funny. (aand nvm its ruined. man i should stop pausing so much)

euahfkjsijfj man that super exaggarated overly sexualised sprite really freaks me out like eughhhj .. unnatural...

"women characters" sorry this is one of those cases where i need someone to just say female like pleasplesrlgsig IT SOUNDS BETTER . AGRHT /lh nsrs

ok kinda disagree with the fanservice thing. 99% of One Piece's female characters are all the same body type and this is grounded in sexism as women apparently shouldn't be allowed to have anything except an hour glass body type lest they be made fun of in the media. but whatever maybe he's referring to something else than this and it's more about sexualisation rather than the same cookie cutter design but tbh I personally still find that iffy (and kind of feel that's the same thing really. since those body types are usually the one's sexualised. but whatever) maybe its because im one of those loathed femoids though who fuckin knows /s

oh hm ah erhm uhm . oh no. eroguro. hey another subtitling error!

THE OBVIOUS DISDAIN IN JPS VOICE WHEN HE SAYS JOY SHFKJSJFKDKG

didn't he already go through this power stuff in the stats section. whatever whatever its fine. i guess.

WHY DID HE SAY OOH LIKE THAT SORRY FYCKQJJF weirdo /j affectionate (somewhat)

so many subtitling mistakes... s-so hard to keep up.....

wow so many SAO references ♡ my inner 12 yr old is violently vibrating rn /j

[sexykatsuki17]

Todoroki’s Revenge

Todoroki and Midoriya were up enjoying breakfast at Todoroki’s house Bakugo was there as well. Bakugo appeared more cranky than usual. Why? That’s because he is aching and sore. Bakugo made his way downstairs and he was shirtless.

Midoriya saw him Good morning Kacchan, Bakugo didn’t say anything he just got a bowl,  uhm Bakugo didn’t you hear Midoriya say anything? Todoroki asked and also put on a shirt.

OI, SHUT THE FUCK UP ICYHOT IM FUCKING SORE AND I DONT CARE!!!!! Bakugo yelled his stomach gurgling loudly instead Bakugo grabbed an apple going back upstairs. 

Todoroki rolled his eyes. I can't stand him then why did you invite him here? Midoriya asked my dad said he should rest after training yesterday so he brought him here Todoroki said. You really do hate him don’t you? Midoriya asked Hate him? No, he just gets on my nerves with all his damn yelling. Midoriya chuckled, I second that and they clicked glasses.

After breakfast Bakugo, Todoroki, and Midoriya went to school. Bakugo was incredibly sore that he just spent his day in recovery’s girl office. Kirishima Bakugo’s best friend was taking notes for him. Hey kirishima Todoroki and Midoriya said hey guys kirishima said bakubro isn’t feeling well so I’m taking notes for him kirishima said you do know he’s just sore right? Todoroki asked yeah I know but when you’re sore you don’t feel 100% kirishima said true Midoriya said.

Soon enough Bakugo walked through the door and he saw Kirishima and he walked over to him. Come with me you’re walking me back to the dorms Bakugo said why? Kirishima asked don’t question me Bakugo said Todoroki rolled his eyes at Bakugo.

He was thinking of a plan after school Todoroki, Midoriya and Bakugo had training with All Might and Endeavor. So at lunch time Todoroki is going to go to the store that’s near UA and get the most powerful laxative he could find. 

Bakugo was taking a warm shower for his aching muscles the part that was the most stiff on him was his back, once he finished he put on his underwear and his black bomb pants and he laid down on his stomach. Kirishima gave him a deep tissue back massage. Cracking his spine and unloosing those stiff aching muscles Bakugo moaned so what was Deku and Icyhot talking to you about? Bakugo asked, I’m sure what they wanted Kirishima said. ohh so sore Bakugo Groaned do you want me to stop? Kirishima asked did I say that? Bakugo asked no Kirishima said then shut the hell up and  keep on rubbing. Bakugo said Kirishima continued to rub his back.

Todoroki and Midoriya went to the sore and got the laxative. So what are you going to put it in? Midoriya asked as they walked into the dorms his water bottle in the fridge Todoroki said. Okay Midoriya said so Todoroki got Bakugo’s water bottle and he dumped half of the laxative into his drink and he stirred it up placing it back into the fridge. I also got him some prunes Todoroki said Midoriya smiled.

Soon after Kirishima came downstairs he was upset. Kirishima, what's wrong? Midoriya asked it’s Bakugo he’s so damn rude I can’t  take anymore kirishima said he’s always talking to me as if I’m dumb Kirishima said. Well you’re in lucky cause I’m pulling some revenge on him just like you I’m sick and tired of him Todoroki said. So what’s the plan? Kirishima asked.

Todoroki told him of his plans and Kirishima’s job was to keep him from entering the bathroom. Soon Bakugo came downstairs dressed in his school outfit. You idiots ready? Bakugo asked, grabbing his water bottle. He took a few sips here eat some prunes. Todoroki said why would I eat anything that you brought? Bakugo asked just as Bakugo’s stomach growled out of hunger. Tch, fine Bakugo took the bag form Todoroki he ate some as they waited for Endeavor and All Might. 

It was a small bag so Bakugo ate the whole thing and he drinked more of his water. Todoroki smiled what the hell are you smiling at? Bakugo asked oh nothing Todoroki said soon enough endeavor and All Might came to collect them. 

 While driving to the Agency Bakugo felt his lower stomach beginning to growl. You okay? Todoroki asked don’t worry about it Bakugo said his stomach continued to growl in an upset way. Bakugo bit his lower lip and gently rubbed his stomach. You okay? God dynamite? Endeavor asked Bakugo just looked out the window, shaking his leg as the growling in his lower stomach continued.

All Might, Midoriya, and Kirishima were talking and laughing. Soon Bakugo, Todoroki, and Endeavor walked into the building and soon All Might, Midoriya, and Kirishima walked into the building as well. The growling in Bakugo’s stomach got louder Ugh, Bakugo groaned Shut the hell and die Stupid Stomach why are so upset anyway? Bakugo asked but then he remembered. Wait a second Bakugo asked HEY YOU BASTARD YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH WHY MY STOMACH IS UPSET DIDN’T YOU!!!!! Bakugo yelled. Todoroki shook his head I don't know what you’re talking about YES THE FUCK YOU DO YOU BROUGHT THOSE PRUNES KNOWING WE HAD SOMETHING TO DO TODAY YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!!!! Bakugo yelled but then he started farting rather loudly YOUR FUCKING DEAD!!!!! Bakugo yelled. Running to the bathroom. Todoroki started laughing.

When Bakugo reached the bathroom he saw Kirishima standing in the way MOVE!!!!! Bakugo yelled sorry dude, someone is in the bathroom Kirishima said Bakugo’s stomach growled loudly. Bakugo loudly farted with each fart it came out watery Bakugo blushed running to the next one. Kirishima laughed.

Bakugo reached the next Bathroom he saw Midoriya standing there, MOVE YOU DAMN NERD!!!!! Bakugo yelled Sorry Kacchan someones is in the bathroom Midoriya said oh for fuck sakes Bakugo said he went to the next Bathroom MIdoriya laughed.

Bakugo went to every bathroom and each of them was locked. Bakugo’s stomach growled extremely loud Bakugo moaned Ugh Bakugo moaned he soon approached Endeavor and All Might. What’s wrong you should be getting Ready Endeavor said Bakugo placed a hand on his stomach as it growled. What’s the matter Young Bakugo? All Might asked I need to use the bathroom but they were all locked. Bakugo said What? Endeavor asked Bakugo pushed and out came a lot of Diarrhea. Bakugo blushed and he kept pooping himself.

Bakugo dropped to his knees and the diarrhea just kept coming out. Bakugo started crying out of embarrassment. Midoriya and kirishima watched from afar and they felt bad for Bakugo. Endeavor and All Might helped Bakugo.

After Bakugo’s little sick spell he was in his dorm room resting. Kirishima and Midoriya were helping Bakugo out all while Todoroki was in the hospital recovering from the beating he got from Bakugo during the training with Endeavor and All Might. Lesson learned  for Todoroki: never upset Bakugo’s stomach without a good reason. Kirishima and Midoriya learned that lesson as well because they were on board with Todoroki’s foolishness.

[sneakyscarab]

hiya! so those of you following me may have noticed that touhou has taken over my brain over the last summer. i’ve been working my way through playing all* of the main touhou titles and after finishing th11 realized that i have many thoughts about these games and no real outlet because none of my friends play touhou so im just gonna start doing these review-esque posts about all the touhou games once ive finished them. as you can tell by the fact i just beat 11 i have a bit of a backlog here so expect to see a handful of these.

if you do not care about all that, thats fine. i just really wanna talk about touhou lol. posts in this series will be tagged “#grimoire of nina” for archival/organiztion purposes. anyways all that said it is time for the actual post

nina’s thoughts on Touhou 6 - Embodiment of Scarlet Devil

it's the first touhou! well it's not obviously there's a big 6 there but it's the first in the windows continuity, the first that ive played through to the end and finished, and supposedly the first in the streamlined danmaku style of gameplay. 

since its the first of them, its lacking in many unique elements that make it easy to talk about, so this one's probably gonna flow way worse than later reviews. it's very simple but not in a bad way, just raw shootin’ and danmaku dodgin’. one interesting “mechanic” unique to this game is ironically it's lack of one. in touhou to make dodging the bullets possible your actual hitbox is way smaller than your character sprite, and later games let you view your true hitbox while focusing. EoSD doesn't have that, so you kinda just have to get a feel for what parts of you can safely take a shot without you getting owned. it's kinda fun not knowing exactly whats safe, but probably rough if you’re used to the later games. of the different player options my favourite was Marisa’s illusion laser setup (i am not immune to master spark) but all 4 choices were pretty fun, and i ended up doing 1cc’s with both of Marisa’s options.

the characters in this one are all really good! it helps a lot that most of them show up frequently in future games and outside media and get more development. if i had to pick favourites though, id go with Rumia, Patchouli, and Koakuma. Rumia is a adorable little gremlin youkai with darkness powers who flies around t-posing, using darkness to create an orb around her during daytime to block sunlight and subsequently bumping into trees cause she can't see anything through the orb lmao. Patchouli is a tired magician youkai who spends all day in a huge magical library reading tomes and being bothered by Marisa. she has like asthma and anemia so she can't do any physical activity ever she's just the ultimate nerd. also her everyday outfit is just some comfy purple pajamas its an absolute vibe. lastly Koakuma is Patchouli’s familiar who's a summoned demon of some kind (usually interpreted as a succubus) who has the unfortunate job of actually managing and organizing the insane labyrinthine library that they live in and assisting Patchouli with personal matters. ironically Rumia and Koakuma have like the least characterization actually in the game (along with Daiyousei) but they get more love in external media and fanon. 

overall EoSD is great. it has a set of beloved characters, and really solid base gameplay. its a bit basic and lacking in a few features but its still great fun :> thanks for reading if you actually stuck with it this far!

(*not sure if i will play the first 5 games from the pc-98 era. i may check them out afterwards but theyre not high priority)

[mitsuyeaah]

IM SURE YOUVE SEEN ME SPAM LIKE ALL UR FICS IM SORRY BUT IAM LITERALLY SO OBSESSEED UHIDSFKJHGEYFIUJKAW U WRITE SO GOOD AND IM TRYNA GET MY FICS TO BE GOOD AS URS!! ANY TIPS FOR ASPIRING YOUNG TOKYO REV SMUT/FLUFF/ANGST AUTHORS?? anyway fr i love ur fics theyre awesome <33 have a great day

AAAH THIS IS SO CUTE 😭😭 MADE MY WHOLE WEEK NGL 😔‼️‼️

oh god, i’ve never really given proper tips BUT i hope these help:

— before writing:

as for me (and i’m sure all other writers out there do this), when i get a fic idea, i usually have a blank document in front of me and basically just type in random ideas that i want to include in my fic!

be creative! it can be anything!! even just random words or sometimes i throw in dialogues that i would want my characters to say later in the fic!! basically just brainstorming :”) — there are times you won’t be using some of these ideas but thats completely fine! it happens to me a lot since sometimes it just doesn’t fit in anyway in my story!

of course you would want to know how you fic starts, ends and what goes on in the middle but don’t fret if you don’t know how to end it—sometimes it usually just comes to you!!

— during writing:

i’m sure many have noticed my writing style by now!! but i tend to write more about how the character feels at that moment! this is just a personal preference but i like having less dialogue in my fics and more about explanation!! i guess this helps the reader visualise the story easier than just reading what the character is saying, of course you don’t have to force yourself to cut down dialogues!!! if you feel like you’re more for it then i fully support that! And basically just explain in general, this helps readers connect more with the characters!

here’s an example:

- w/o explanation = sanzu felt hot and it annoyed him.

- w/ explanation = sanzu felt hot and it annoyed him, the blazing sun was practically burning his bare skin which made him sweat profusely, and he hated sweating. he hated anything that made him studfy, sticky, and overall just uncomfortable.

i guess what i’m trying to say is, dive deep and describe what the character is feeling more than what the character is doing. i’ve seen a lot of fics that tend to lean toward the latter (no hate!!) but personally, it just seems too fast paced for me when there is a lack of description about the character’s emotions.

it’s all about the little details!

most of the time when i’m writing, i try to put myself into the character’s shoes, whether it be a smut, fluff or angsty scene!! basically just imagining how you would feel if something like your character is experiencing was being done to you :)

SYNONYMS!!! i always have a separate tab open so i can search synonyms of a certain word! it helps with better wording and all that!

don’t be afraid to seek out inspiration! whether it be from books, movies or other sources you can find because it definitely helps! i personally seek inspiration from music and sometimes listening to a particular song that matches the theme of my fic helps me power through the writing process!!

oh and if i’m stuck in a certain scene in my writing, i usually refer back to my brainstorming ideas there! it helps me a lot to have those brainstorms!

and most importantly, have fun!!!!! writing fiction is supposed to be fun and anytime it feels like its getting tiring, please do take a break <3

aaaaah i hope this somewhat helped!! i tried my best explaining these 😫🩷 thank you again for sending your ask and i hope all is well for u!!

[superaznchick]

life update #13

it's 12:14am im actually genuinely Very Tired right now but my body is still just shaking from all of the frustration that i have had to hold onto today so im gonna dump until i pass out

I'm shaking because. I just finished having an offsite with my team for the last few days and it is mindblowing how numbingly painful our meetings are. We met Tuesday through Thursday, had 1 team-bonding event for like 2 hours, and the rest of the days were just back to back meetings about basically nothing.

By "nothing" it's like, very vague roadmap discussions, which fine okay I'll bite. Maybe 2ish hours of this, okay fine I'll do it. But

UGH it's so fucking hard to put into words but I really think I need to start learning how to articulate better so I'm gonna try REALLY hard to explain this and explain exactly why I'm frustrated

I have 5 people on my team including me, so 2 guy engineers and 3 girl engineers. And you guessed it, the conversation is usually dominated by the 2 guy engineers. There's 1 girl that also dominates the conversation a bit. I'm frustrated because these are engineers that LOVE to talk, that love to hear themselves talk, that revel in discussing big complex vague ideas, that love getting more words in and sucking more air out. It almost feels as though the more words they spew, the more they feel like they are winning, they are influencing, they are saying something of substance, something important, something so consequential that everyone else in the room just needs and has to listen to everything coming out of their mouth and I am SICK. SICK OF IT.

They are saying NOTHING of substance. You know how I can tell? Because 1 of the engineers literally joined what, like 5 months ago? And he hasn't worked on any major project, and yet he is the one talking the most about "ideally" this and this should work like this, how he has "so many ideas and thoughts" about how things are gonna go and should work out.

The other guy engineer is old and just has a rambling way of talking, one thought or idea that should take 2 sentences he makes it into a whole song and dance. He says the most basic shit but because it takes him fucking 5 minutes to say it, trying to decipher what the fuck he's saying takes so much fucking brain power I can't stand it.

The girl is fine. She's responsive, not pushy. She gives her opinion when prompted and doesn't over extend herself, but some of the stuff she says I can just fucking tell she's trying to imitate the way the guys in the room are talking. Half the time it's still not that important the stuff she's saying

Why am I so frustrated at this? Because these people don't understand the power of shutting the fuck up and listening and absorbing. If you don't know shit about the codebase, you need to shut the fuck up and listen to people that do. If you have a simple thought to say, you need to shut the fuck up and THINK, really USE YOUR BRAIN and CONDENSE that shit!!!! It takes a ton of effort to pick the right words and orchestrate the right things to say, you can't just vomit words at us and waste our fucking time.

But listen. I GET IT. I understand that people, especially engineers, are like this and that's just the way it is. Believe it or not, even though I just spent a bunch of time wailing on them I actually don't blame them!! Like YES, I get it, that's fine, it annoys me but what am I gonna do right.

So the real kicker here, and second layer to my frustration, is this: what the fuck is my manager doing?

For some context, my manager is one of those people that really wants his subordinates to like him. He has no vision, no plan for the team, no thought of how things *should* be. He is not a strong leader. He is concerned with knowing things about the team, knowing how things work, and trying really hard for all of us to like him. He is introverted, he is relateable, he is nice, but he is not a good manager. This is so fucking frustrating because he really should NOT be letting a bunch of engineers pow around and going around asking everyone "oh, what do YOU think we should have on the roadmap? what do YOU think we should prioritize?" bro. This is literally your job. Your job is to put us on the map and get us on the most exciting projects and set us up for success. It is your fucking job to have a vision for the team and edit us the way that we need to be to succeed. It is your job to set expectations and correct us when we do not meet them. I should NOT have to sit in a stuffy room for 9 hours with a bunch of engineers yapping about literally NOTHING IMPORTANT and wasting my fucking time.

I'm not done yet. My THIRD layer of frustration: and UGGGHHH I really think this is what sent me over the edge today I'm literally shaking even more as I write this but. Today, Thursday, the last day of the offsite, I asked to go home early. We were supposed to have a half day of *more* meetings today from 9:30am to 1pm to do even more talking about nothing and everything, but I wanted to go home early BECAUSE I WAS TRYING TO MAKE MY MANAGER LOOK GOOD. I'm representing our team as part of a big high-visibility cross-functional engineer effort to do work and I committed to being code complete by Friday. Of course he didn't know about this commitment because he doesn't go to these separate standups and I guess I could have told him so my bad, but I was under the impression that I could handle it. After Wednesday, which was an ENTIRE day of dealing with these people, listening to them talk about nothing and jostle for control over the conversation and talking over each other and debating on pure theoreticals and literally nothing concrete, I was at my wits' end. I couldn't get any fucking work done and I was only halfway done and I really wanted to pull through for Friday. But this morning I asked to go home early and he told me that "it'd be really nice if you could come to these conversations!" and I was like "okay fine but that means I'll have to push back delivery to monday for my code" and he was like "oh I don't remember that we had committed anything but monday should be okay right?"

And now my fourth layer of frustration: He. doesn't. fucking. get it. NOBODY on my team fucking gets it. Nobody GETS. IT. "Gets it" as in like, just understands what it takes, what it's like, what needs to happen for us to achieve excellence. We need VISION. We need guidance, we need priority, we need a fucking leader to just stand up and just DO IT!!!! We don't have the fucking time to sit around, talking and talking and talking about nothing. How can they not see what a big fucking waste of time this is??? How can they not hear themselves when they're talking and they sound like literal idiots. "hurr durr let's try and do this and that with this team, we should grab someone and have them do a code walkthrough" BRO we were literally trying to "anticipate" our future plans with merging with a different team but we know nothing about what their code looks like, WHATS THE POINT of doing all this talking when WE. DONT. KNOW??? Why not make a solid plan, like just send someone from our team over to their team and work on their stuff, explore their codebase, get a solid understanding, and then bring that knowledge back? Or it doesn't have to be like that, but do ANYTHING, ANYTHING at all instead of sitting around, talking for hours, when we DON'T FUCKING KNOW???? How do they not see this?? How does this not drive them crazy?

Maybe now a fifth layer of frustration: I'm just fucking tired. I'm done. I'm so exhausted. I'm exhausted from being surrounded by people like this all the time. These people on my team, they talk so much, they have no vision, they are not self aware, and perhaps worst of all, they are all sensitive to criticism and are not open minded to learn and listen. In fact, most of them don't even see the value of listening. All they want to do is talk and dominate the conversation, as if that will give them some sort of higher influence, like rubbing elbows with success when success isn't even in the room. I feel like I'm the only seeing-eye person in a room full of blind idiots. It's tiring, I feel like I'm insane. The only way I'm staying sane is by being deliberately delusional, by believing that it's not me, it's them.

And you know what? I'm no genius. I'm not that smart. I'm no exceptional leader or holder of power. I believe I have substance and I am deserving of respect, but I do not believe that I am so above anyone else. I don't think I'm all that. But today, this week, made me feel like I was in the bottom of some sort of crucible. I feel evaporated, like the life has just been sucked out of me and all I am now is just a trembling pile of ash. I feel like crying. I feel like screaming.

I harbor no ill will, no hatred, no violence against these people. Because again: I get it. But GOD. DAMN. I'm just blown away. I can't believe that these people can sit there, go through the same experience I did, and not see anything wrong. I'm scared shitless. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this because the social blowback would be insane. Like what, I'm just supposed to tell my manager that he's useless? That he needs to get his shit together?

I've given people constructive feedback before and the social consequences are so fucking real. There's no way I can say anything and not get punished IMMEDIATELY. I'm just so tired. I just want to say the truth. I just want them to see what I see. But now I have to be a loser and just sit in this soiled diaper and not say anything. I fucking hate it. I fucking hate having to deal with people like this - not just my team, but nearly everyone I know. Almost nobody I know around me in my direct line of vision is a "safe" person. I have to tip toe and eggshell and whisper and kiss and be sweet. I have to be so nice all the time. I'm sick of it.

When is it gonna be some else's turn to edit themselves for me?

Fucking hell man. I'm still just trying to digest the fact that my fucking manager forced me to push back a timeline because he genuinely thought that having long meetings about nothing was more important than company optics. It makes me nervous. What the hell else is going on in his brain? If he can pull something like this, I feel like I can't trust him with the direction of the team in his hands. All I wanna do is zone the fuck out and collect my paycheck with the trust that everything we do will mount to something. I can't have any peace like this.

I have to sleep now but I'm still fuming. may or may not come back to this topic later. hope i can actually sleep in peace. good night.

[writingmoth]

🍁 🌾🌸 and 💫 for your favorite and your newest OC!!!

favorite oc: valerian from anti snow white

newest oc: my guardian from destiny 2 lol here he is and yes he doesnt have a name. yet.

whew this got LONG

🍁 Where does your OC go when they need to have some time to themself? Would they ever have their own “comfort corner” filled with all the things they like? Do they have a favourite spot outside that feels like its theirs and theirs alone?

valerian: the thing about valerian is that he doesnt have a home besides the first forest. the story begins with him FINALLY leaving the forest behind so it takes a looooooong time for him to have any sort of place that is his own. when he wants some time for himself he tries to go to any place with trees, since they remind him of the first forest and while he has very complicated feelings about the place, its the home he has known the longest.

the guardian: i guess with guardians its kinda impossible to have a completely alone time since their ghosts are always there ;-;

for those who dont know destiny 2, ghosts are little machines (?) who resurrect your guardian/player character all the time in game & the reason you have any powers at all. guardian and ghosts share a bond (usually) and are rarely seen separated.

the guardian's ghost is the one speaking in the first of the screenshots i linked above.

anyway, i see my guardian going to the edz when hes tired of the tower's bullshit just to enjoy the view and relax. i dont see him having a room at the tower - his "comfort corner" would probably be in his ship, where he stuffs all knickknacks he gets in his missions.

💫What is your favourite fact about this character and why?

valerian: hes a little shit. he is a good person... deep down, under the vanity, arrogance and pettiness. so, you know, he's not evil... but he is annoying, clingy and selfish at times. he has no filter AT ALL and no impulse control to speak of, so writing him is like letting loose a cannon ball and watching it blast through a china shop. its just fun lol

the guardian: he shares a bit with valerian here... just a little bit bc valerian is downright unhinged lol the guardian i see more as someone who is very responsible, always there to help etc but he just has no patience for the bullshit associated with actually being, you know, the Guardian(tm). so hes very cranky and definitely not here to socialize. i like this contrast between actually being a hero vs not being a people person.

🌾 Describe your OC through the eyes of someone absolutely head-over-heels in love with them

i wont be using romantic love here!

also im taking this describe in a not literal sense

valerian: boy this is hard bc *points to the question above* valerian is NOT an easy person to love. but vespertine ADORES him (tho vespertine doesnt show up for most of the first book... books?). vespertine sees all of valerian's... quirks as an expression of his free spirit, so to speak, and his authenticness (?). valerian might be an asshole, but hes an honest asshole and an open book. you always know what he is feeling and what he wants because he will tell you right away (be speaking or through actions). and as awful as he can be, he can be caring and he is the most loyal person ever.

so vespertine isnt annoyed by valerian's pettiness and selfishness bc... well, valerian is their blind spot. as far as vespertine is concerned, valerian is actually right in literally everything. was he mean? well, you deserved it. was he arrogant? well, he has reason to be, so thats fine. is valerian throwing a tantrum? well, have you tried doing what he wants? it usually works.

yeah, vespertine is an enabler. it's a nice contrast to ira, who also loves valerian dearly (...eventually) but doesn't take any of his shit. for ira, it's valerian's honesty and vulnerability that draws the eye. ira sees that below the layers of nonsense, valerian is a simple person with simple needs and wants, and ira can relate to a LOT of these needs and wants. so they end up being kindred spirits. sort of. if you ignore valerian's assholeness.

if you guys let me i can ramble about valerian forever lol

the guardian: using ghost for this bc, well. ghost is the main reason i ended up making an oc for destiny 2.

like i said above, the guardian is not a people person. he can be quite rebellious and not fond of authority, but i think that ghost would love him for the opposite of all that. he would see that despite being very much not the right personality type for being the Hero(tm), the guardian never forsakes his duty. he's gritting his teeth through a lot of it but he's doing it. he's dependable, a good listener and funny when he does decide to talk, though it is annoying that he rarely does.

thats it, i think! thank you so much for the ask!!!

[inaworldlikethis52]

Your girl is type tired lmao

But like I said no matter what how late I stay out im always gonna work the next day unless I really can’t lol.

I mean today could be a nice one to take a half day but gonna power through it.

Last night was actually fun lol not that I didn’t think it wouldn’t be I was just a bit nervous actually hanging out with his brother and his wife and daughter. Like I just didn’t know what to expect but they’re pretty chill.

But I also hate well maybe not hate but I just don’t know how to answer questions about the Philippines and it’s cuisines lmao bc one I really don’t eat that anymore lmao and I’m a fake Filipino lmfao. I love my culture though but idk much about it lmfao.

So when it came to the bill I know I said I was going to split it lmao like basically pay for mine and Selvon’s but I ended just paying for the whole thing. LOL it wasn’t that bad and I’ve said in the past I can pay for a whole bill. Idk if it’s just weird bc they aren’t my family and selvon and I aren’t even official official. Lol.

But it was his 35th birthday and i don’t think he really cares to make birthdays special but I do lol. Also no one should pay on their birthday lol. And his brother drove us too. So I didn’t mind at all and they paid the tip. I mean lol. Usually like I’d pay the tip if the other person wants pay the bill and I could have done that but just ended paying the whole thing. Even though I could have hit split the check too lmaooo it’s fine though but I don’t what them to be like wow Charlene can afford to pay the bill lol.

They said we should do it again and I agree but I’m like do they know Selvon is leaving lol and when will he leave lmaooo