#imagine being neil and hearing THAT

[lizandreil]

one of the most devastating lines i’ve ever read is “who said please that made you hate the word so much” “i did”” like the way it physically hurt

and the follow-up “i was seven. i believed him” ???? literally punched the air out of my lungs

[neilsracquet]

i want to know what kind of bets the OTHER sports teams in the tower made about the foxes because I just know there would be a lot

[ickypuppi3]

max’s confusion the first time she hears neil calling billy that word.

her asking her mom what it means and susan just brushing it off.

telling max not to worry.

max asking someone at school instead and them telling her that their daddy says-

her still not quite getting it. not getting why neil would call billy that.

still not understanding why that word hurts billy.

not knowing its impact.

max asking billy if he is what that word means.

billy finding out how it feels to be called that by someone who isn’t the boys at school.

someone who isn’t neil.

[purplemoonabove]

Love of my life, you've hurt me

You've broken my heart

And now you leave me

Love of my life, can't you see?

Bring it back, bring it back

Don't take it away from me

Because you don't know

What it means to me

…

I swear to you.

If this plays in season 3,

I swear…

I’ll cry…

LIKE F**K!!

[balladofsallyrose]

okay that's all with neil

[lelianaslefthand]

saw an astarion clip that immediately reminded me of roman roy 500 dead 6000 injured

[theniftycat]

What other Neil Gaiman work might you like?

The biggest thing to know about Neil Gaiman is that each work of his is a mixture of horror, fantasy, and subtle comedy.

That being said, each of his projects is pretty distinct from one another and there might be some that are more up to your tastes than others.

I haven't read some of his newer stuff (because I largely stopped reading as much since the early 2010s), but I'll do my best to remember what matters in other works.

Horror

The Sandman is a great work for horror fans. It's also great for mythology fans and other nerds, but horror is a major push and pull factors.

The comic is probably the greatest body of work Gaiman produced and it's recommended if you're a goth at heart and are comfortable with themes of death and humans being gods' toys.

The Sandman (TV) is a great adaptation, but it's very short so far and doesn't cover the best stories.

Coraline is a horror story for children. It doesn't have anything that's not suitable for kids, but it can be viscerally scary to some people. Both the book and the film are great.

Mirrormask is my personal favourite, it's a low budget film with mindblowing surreal imagery and one of the best soundtracks ever.

It's about a teenage girl who has troubles with her parents (who run a circus, btw) and who gets swiped up by her imagination into a bizarre world that is being eaten by her depression. Not a scary film, per se, but it's disturbing. However, it's a very warm film and it always makes me feel better.

Fantasy

Neverwhere is set in a dimension of twisted London Underground where everything that's straightforward in our world becomes weird and too real.

It really tickled my imagination, I highly recommend the book.

Stardust is set in a more high fantasy setting.

It features kings, witches, ghosts, and a star that fell to the Earth. It has a young protagonist who's not exactly the best or the brightest person, so if you hate such things, stick to the adaptation. In my opinion, the book is just lovely.

American Gods is a darker fantasy that asks the questions: "What if every god people ever believed in became real through the power of their worship? And then what if that worship started fading?"

It's set in the USA and because that country is such a melting pot, there are many gods. And not all of them are happy. This is the book that gave Neil Gaiman his reputation of a writer who loves weird sex scenes.

Humour

Stardust the film is often compared to Princess Bride. It's lighthearted, funny, full of imaginative adventures.

Just a very nice film with an all-star cast.

Anansi Boys is a spin off of American Gods, but it's a lot more lighthearted.

Anansi is a trickster god, so you know things will get funky.

I haven't read The Graveyard Book and The Ocean at the End of the Lane yet, but I hear they're very good as well.

Also, short story collections or Norse Mythology might be a good place to start if you want to get a feel of Neil Gaiman as an author first.

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Patience

Thomas Disch: neil in the good omens game, is there a way to escape the dungeon without using the wizard's key? Neil Gaiman: ah! a very good question! Clive Barker: what? that's a terrible question Gaiman: ah but there are NO bad questions, clive Gaiman: curiosity is the rain that waters the seed of knowledge

Debbie Dadey: um excuse me sir neil gaiman but in Good Omens S2E42 aziraphale is shown performing the musubi dachi stance, but everyone knows that angels don't know karate Dadey:[pushing glasses up nose] i sure hope someone was fired for THAT blunder Gaiman: ah! a fine observation, thank you for sharing! Gaiman: so great to communicate with astute readers!

Gaiman: [putting gold star sticker on Dadey's forehead] i'm giving you a gold star for that Gaiman: in fact Gaiman: you all get gold stars! Koontz: oo! i want a gold star Gaiman: [putting gold star sticker on Koontz's forehead] and so you shall!

King: incredible! nothing flusters him! Poe: he's unflappable King: like the world's most patient kindergarten teacher Barker: no way, i don't buy it Barker: nobody's THAT patient Barker: i bet i could get him to snap Poe: clive

Barker: hey neil i've got a question Gaiman: yes? Barker: actually Barker:this is more of a comment than a question Gaiman: [sweating, veins in neck pulsing] ah yes, go on Poe: clive that's going too far

Neil Gaiman: you see dean Gaiman: you can see anything, do anything Gaiman: BE anything Gaiman: without ever leaving home! Dean Koontz: wowwww Gaiman: all you have to do is use your super power Koontz: my super power?? Gaiman: yes Gaiman: it's called Gaiman: IMAGINATION!!

Ray Bradbury: it was many years yonder when the open spaces were open and the blue skies were blue, and soda pop cost just a nickel and if you didn't have a nickel a smile would do, when you could see marshmallow dragons and candy corn castles in the clouds and you could do it all with the power of Dean Koontz: oh yeah imagination, i already know that Bradbury: and- what Koontz: yeah, neil gaiman told me Bradbury:

Ray Bradbury: listen neil i hear you've been going around extolling the power of imagination Neil Gaiman: ah imagination! the poor man's wealth, the prisoner's release- Bradbury: zip it bud Bradbury: there's ONE dream weaver in this town and that's me Bradbury: the limitless vista of a child's imagination ain't big enough for the both of us!!!

Bradbury: i have more child-like whimsy in my little finger, gaiman! Bradbury: and i will use it to paint a rainbow of nostalgic vibes that will have you crying! Bradbury: come at me, neil!! i'll make your childhood fuckin' magical!

Gaiman: wonderful, brilliant! just an excellent threat Gaiman: the craftsmanship of it was sublime, you should be very proud, ray Bradbury: Bradbury: are you Bradbury: are you being sarcastic? Poe: i don't think he knows how

Bradbury: you're so genuine, i can't stay mad at you Gaiman: perhaps, ray, there is room in the world of imagination for the both of us Gaiman: in fact, maybe there's room for ALL who seek to fly on the wings of a shared dream!

[illusioninfnty]

day 12 ; public sex

↠ billy hargrove x reader

fandom: stranger things word count: 1k warnings: nsfw 18+, mean!billy (pretty obvious), no prep, no aftercare (damn double homicide), dirty talk, degradation, spanking, slight hair pulling, unprotected sex, creampie

kinktober m.list || read on ao3

“I swear to fucking God, if she’s not out here in the next second, I’m leaving her ass.”

You roll your eyes. “Billy, it’s been two minutes since the bell rang.”

Neil had yelled at Billy to go and pick up Max, so you decided to accompany him, since the two of you were just hanging in his room and making out the whole day. Plus, it had been quite awhile since you’d seen the kid. You missed her spunk and funny quips at Billy.

He clicks his tongue. “Too fucking long me for me.” He flicks his cigarette out the window of his Camaro. He shifts the gear and backs out of the parking lot, driving away from the school.

“What—Billy? What are you doing?” You cry out, grabbing onto the sides. “We need to get Max!”

“She can walk.” He drives for a bit, eventually parking in an empty alleyway. He gets out of the car, slamming the door. He leans into the open window, looking at you expectantly. “Get out.”

You stare at him puzzled, but still comply.

When you walk around to the hood of the car where he now stands, Billy grabs your wrist, turns you around and pushes you down against it.

He grinds on you from behind, and you can feel the growing erection through his tight jeans. “Here? Seriously?”

Billy paws at your ass through your shorts. “C’mon princess, it’ll be fun. Lighten up for once.”

You roll your eyes and sigh. Billy always liked to experiment with you when it came to sex, but being in public had always been something you were hesitant about. It was already heavily frowned upon that you were in a relationship with him; you didn’t want to imagine the outcry your uppity father would have if word caught that the two of you were doing indecent acts out where everyone could see.

But thinking about it more, you didn’t really give a shit. You loved being with Billy, and if he wanted to fuck you in a dingy alleyway, you would happily allow yourself to be fucked in said alleyway.

You shimmy out of your new designer skirt, a birthday gift from your parents, balling it up and tossing them aside. Billy smirks from behind you and you bend over to push yourself against his erect cock.

“Get to it then,” you tell him. “I’m not giving you much time.” A dark chuckle leaves his lips and you can hear the zip of his jeans as he pulls his cock out.

Within seconds he’s slamming into you, and you let out a sharp cry of pain from the lack of prep. You begin to adjust slowly, as Billy starts to fuck his cock into you. Your walls suck him up all the way to the base, squeezing him as tight as you can.

“Such a fucking slut,” Billy hisses. He grabs your ass in a handful, rubbing and squeezing it.

You gasp and bite your lip. “You’re one to talk.”

He barks out a laugh from behind you and spanks you hard, causing you to go limp under his hold.

Your front rubs against the hood of his car, breasts bouncing with the force of his thrusts and hardened nipples pushing against your top cause you to shiver. You reach your hands out to ground yourself.

Just then you hear the sound of a car whizzing by, and you tighten up around Billy in fear. 

“Yeah, fuck, just like that babe,” he groans out, unaware of your fear. “So tight.”

“Billy!” You scold him, stretching a hand behind to smack him wherever you can reach, which ends up being his lower stomach. “There was a car!”

He doesn’t let up with his thrusts, instead flattening a hand on the small of your back to hold you in place. “What’d you fucking think was going to happen?” He scoffs. “You were the one that said we don’t have time.”

Suddenly you weren’t so confident in your initial response. “W-what if someone walks by?” you whisper out.

If it was possible, BIlly somehow seems to get more turned on, his cock pulsing more inside of you. His balls slap against your clit as he presses himself further inside you, burying his cock to the hilt.

“Then I’d cum inside you and then beat the shit out of them for seeing my girlfriend looking so cock hungry like this.”

Although it was probably in no way his intention, Billy’s words both calm you and arouse you more. You feel your pussy relax a bit, letting him slide in even further, before tightening once again like a vice.

Billy laughs mockingly. “Does that turn you on? Someone else watching you act like a slut for me?” He fingers his hand through your hair, grabbing it by the root to pull you up. “I don’t think you want me to leave this filthy pussy,” he whispers in your ear.

“No!” You moan out weakly, not exactly sure which part you were saying it about. Billy pushes your face back down on the hood, cheek pressing up against it. You make a strangled noise as your movement is restricted even further, but he pays no attention to it.

Your body spasms uncontrollably with the weight of his thrusts and cock filling you up to the brim. Your eyes roll in the back of your head as you bask in the pleasure of it all.

Billy starts to go piston even faster than before, and you can tell with the way his cock throbs furiously and the uneven rhythm of his hips that he's going to cum.

He empties himself inside of you with a low groan and a string of curses, pulling out completely after he’s done. You could feel his cum as it drips out of your pussy and down your leg.

Your legs shake from his brutal intrusion and the abrupt stopping of your own orgasm, unable to chase the high of it after the loss of Billy’s size inside of you.

“Fuck, that was good.” Billy slaps your ass one final time as he zips himself back into his pants, causing you to let out a yelp. “We need to do that again some time.”

[drchucktingle]

favorite author i have never read

hey there buckaroos thank you for all the DEEP DISCUSSIONS we are having a great time here on tumblr. thought today i could make a post that is slightly more difficult its not all sunshine days ahead and requires a little introspection. LOOK AT US we have all arrived here together through trust and love and i think we can keep this going. chuck made this post on other platforms years ago and i think it was said very well then and led to some good discussion, so i am going to repost here. okay lets go deep bud here we go:

i would like to spend moment today talking about common joke i hear online (and even too my face at conventions). this is jokerman way i hear ALL the dang time: 'chuck tingle is my favorite author i have never read' or less jokerman way but of ‘i have never read his books but i love chuck tingle'.

first of all, THANK YOU buds. this is not way of call out post to make you feel bad, i appreciate your way and understand you are trying to support. this is not attack on your message and from bottom of chucks heart THANK YOU.

BUT i have to say something about this. please consider what you are saying when you post this. would you send this as message to STEPHEN KING or NEIL GAIMAN or NK JEMISIN? i doubt this. it would seem VERY RUDE to message other authors. just imagine trotting up to a writer and saying ‘i would NEVER read your books haha’ but it is sent to chuck all the dang time.

obvious reason buds say it to chuck is that i am queer author with a unique way. yes i write in realm of wild fantasy and erotic pairings, but by saying ‘i have never read chuck BUT' you are really saying 'i am posting my support of this but PLEASE DONT THINK I AM REALLY INTERESTED IN THIS PERSONALLY.' there are similar distasteful jokes that i will not repeat involving saying 'no bud on bud pounds' after a sentence that works in similar way.

is sexual art really that bad? is queer art really that embarrassing? is unusual outsider art really that funny?

it is one thing if your preferred pound is not one of chucks tinglers, that is TOTALLY FINE BUD, but if you are an adult i would say 'is it REALLY that scary to read a book about a way of sex that is not yours? is it that difficult to think that something that seems silly to you could actually MOVE YOU in an important way? do you HAVE to disconnect yourself from lgtbqia art with a 'but i don't read this myself?'

keep in mind, there are gay tinglers, there are asexual tinglers, there are trans tinglers, there are select your own timeline tinglers, there are horror tinglers. TINGLERS FOR EVERY TASTE. the thing that buds are often REALLY saying with ‘favorite author i have never read’ is ‘this is WEIRD and dont be confused because im NOT WEIRD IM COOL DONT THINK I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS’. funny enough even the proudly fun and wild and unique buckaroos will STILL say this line, maybe without taking time to think of what it means or how rude it is?

WHY would you never read a chuck book? because my way is queer? because it is neurodivergent? even if that is not there reason or even if YOUR ARE ALSO PERSONALLY QUEER AND NEURODIVERGENT TOO, think about what the joke is IMPLYING.

is sincerely enjoying something thats kind of unusual that difficult? do we really have to slather it in irony and ‘so bad its good?’ before reposting?

in closing as man name of chuck i will say you can still make this joke if you want buckaroos i know you are just having a good time proving love in your own way. i am not upset with you bud and i appreciate your support in any way you give it. there are some buckaroos who just CANT AFFORD tinglers and that is an important way i understand as well. obviously this conversation does not apply to those buds. but for the rest of us trotting along, MAYBE think about what you are really saying with this jokerman way first, and MAYBE try cracking open a tingler because you might be surprised. its not that scary bud. thank you for listening

being sincere is VERY COOL and VERY PUNK ROCK. i encourage all buckaroos out there to give it a try.

LOVE IS REAL

[slut4thebroken]

Until Next Time

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Neil Lewis x reader

Summary | The second time Neil sees the stranger, he gets a little bolder.

Warnings | Smut, non con, 18+, sexual content, non consensual everything lol, Neil being a creep once again, in public, groping, grinding, thigh fucking, kissing, blackmail, pervy needy Neil.

Words | 2.4 k

Notes | And yes you horny bastards, there will be a part 3 🙄

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

Part 1

Every single time he took the subway he was constantly looking around, seeing if you were there. After a couple weeks he started losing hope. He still jerked off to the pictures he took of you, but he accepted that he wasn’t going to see you again. 

That was one week ago. 

He was standing in the subway car looking at his phone when he heard it. “Sorry about that.” He would recognize your sweet voice anywhere. His head snapped up and he looked around until he found you. 

You looked even prettier than he remembered. Your makeup was still subtle, but this time for the day rather than for a club or wherever it was you went, and your hair looked just as soft as last time. He couldn’t see past your neck though. 

He started subtly moving toward you, trying not to draw attention or make it look like he was walking closer. When the doors opened and people were going in and out, he walked quickly, blending in with the movement. You stepped back to give people more room and he was almost behind you now. He could see that you were wearing a tank top— which makes sense given that it’s the middle of summer. But he couldn’t see anything else yet. 

His cock was already fattening up in his pants just staring at you. He waited a tortuously long time for the doors to open again, then he was moving quickly until he was behind you. He saw now that you were wearing a skirt. A pleated one that was just the right length to make you look unintentionally slutty. You were shorter than him now that you weren’t in heels and he stepped a little closer to get a view of your tits again. Were you even wearing a bra? If you were, it must've been strapless. 

He ignored the painful tightness of his pants and focused on you. Were you wearing shorts this time? He prayed the answer was no. Pushing down his nerves, he tentatively raised his hand to lightly grab your hip, making you turn around. Before you could say anything he was shushing you. 

“Before you yell, I want to show you something.” He said quietly, releasing your hip to grab his phone. You seemed to recognize him now, especially when he pulled up a picture and showed it to you. “These have been really useful personally… but I’m sure a lot of other men would love to see it. I’d hate for them to get spread around…” You stood there frozen, staring at the picture of your panties. “I hope you don’t have an important job… This kind of thing will set you off on a completely different path.” He frowned mockingly. 

“M-my face isn’t even in it… There’s no way to know that’s me.”

“Yeah but employers don’t really care about technicalities. One accusation and you’re done.” He shrugged. “So,” he pocketed his phone and placed his hand back on your hip, “are you gonna yell? Or are you gonna be a good little girl and not fuck up your reputation?” He waited for you to respond, but you just stared at him with teary eyes, silently begging him not to. “Smart choice. Turn around.” He said quietly. 

Once you obeyed, he placed both hands on your hips and slid them up to your waist, then back down. He stood closer so he could look down at your tits, hearing your breath hitch when his bulge brushed your ass. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered. “I’ve thought about you every day since then.” You tried to step forward but he just pulled you back, keeping you planted firmly in front of him. One of his hands slid down to grope your ass and it was better than he could’ve imagined. 

“I’ve thought about coming on this ass again every single fucking day.” He groaned, placing a kiss on the back of your neck. When he suddenly turned you around, you gasped and placed your hands on his chest to steady yourself. He snaked his hands up your waist, then up even more until he was groping your tits over the tank top. He bit back a moan once he realized that you weren’t wearing a bra. 

“Jesus Christ.” He murmured, massaging them in his hands. 

“S-stop… Someone will see.” You whispered, trying to push him back by his chest. 

“Someone will see if you draw attention to us. Stay nice and quiet and we’ll be fine, baby.” He looked around behind you and when he was sure no one was watching, he brought his hands down to your thighs and slipped them under your skirt. You gasped when he roughly cupped your ass and pulled you closer. 

With his bulge pressed to your pelvis, he groaned quietly and started rubbing it against you. Under his hands, he could feel the lacy panties you were wearing and he ached to find out what they looked like, but he had to be patient. 

His back was only inches away from the wall and everyone in front of you was facing away, toward the doors. It was practically perfect. Keeping one hand on your ass to hold you still, he moved the other one up to grope your tits again. He was focused on your nipples just barely poking through the fabric, but when he heard a low whimper, his eyes snapped up to your face. There were still tears in your eyes, but your cheeks were flushed and you were biting your bottom lip, holding in any sounds. 

“I fucking knew you wanted this. You’re probably already wet too, huh?” He chuckled quietly and you shook your head with a quiet whine. “No?” He cooed mockingly, tilting his head like a confused puppy. “I think you’re lying to me.” 

“I- I’m not,” you started, but cut off with a gasp when he suddenly pulled your tank top down, exposing your tits. “Wait-” You whispered, panicking. 

“If you make a scene, you’ll draw attention. So go ahead, baby. Make a scene.” He dared and you looked around nervously, trying to see if anyone had noticed what was happening. When you finished examining everyone, you closed your eyes and a tear rolled down your cheek, making his cock throb in his pants. He cursed under his breath and tightened his grip on your ass, then started rubbing up against you even harder. With your tits now out, he used his free hand to grope them, roughly pinching and pulling on your nipples, making you hiss in pain. Once he was satisfied with touching them, he grabbed his phone again. 

“Wait,” You tried to stop him, but he gave you a warning glare and grabbed your ass hard enough to force a whimper out of you. So you shut your mouth and let your arms hang limply by your sides. He took a few pictures, then lifted the front of your skirt to take a few more, this time getting your tits and panties in frame. Before putting his phone away, he righted your clothes, then turned you around and lifted your skirt, getting more pictures of your ass that was barely covered by the slutty lace panties you were wearing. 

“Take them off.” He ordered, pocketing his phone again and turning you back around to face him. 

“What?” You choked out. 

“Take off your fucking underwear. Now.” When you heard his tone, you used shaky hands to slowly push them down your legs, then step out of them. You placed them in his open palm and he immediately lifted them up to his face and inhaled deeply. “Fuck.” He hissed and you let out an embarrassed whine. “God you smell fucking incredible.” He groaned quietly, already getting excited at just the thought of being able to smell your cunt when he jerks off at home. 

Unable to take it anymore, he stuffed your underwear in his pocket, pulled your tank top back down to expose your tits, then grabbed your ass under your skirt and continued grinding his bulge against you. His movements were desperate and far too obvious for their current setting, but he didn’t care. All he could focus on was how soft your ass was, how pretty and perfect your tits were, and how beautiful you looked trying to hold back tears from his assault. 

“You drive me fucking crazy.” He whispered with a small smile. Suddenly leaning forward, he kissed across your neck, making you whimper quietly. He bit and licked, but mostly focused on sucking the skin into his mouth, leaving as many marks as possible. He wanted everyone to see how much of a pathetic slut you are for him— for a stranger. As the intoxicating smell of your perfume invaded his senses, he groaned and his kisses got sloppier. 

Anyone who looked back would just see a couple being slightly perverted in public, with him grabbing your ass and kissing your neck. But they wouldn’t know that you were bare under your skirt, letting him mark you and claim you as he got himself off with your body. They wouldn’t be able to see the way your tits were out, your hard nipples pressing against his chest. And they wouldn’t be able to see the way you were crying silently. 

When he pulled away from your neck, he kept his face only inches from yours, feeling your breath fanning his lips. Unable to hold back, he moved one hand to fist your hair and hold your still as he surged forward, pressing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss. You whimpered and tried to push him back, but he was unmoving. Wanting to deepen it, he forced his tongue in your mouth, licking into the kiss, making you whine and try even harder to pull back. He couldn’t really decipher the taste of your mouth but it was something sweet. After another moment, he pulled back, a trail of saliva connecting your lips. 

“Fuck, baby.” He rasped, voice thick with arousal. His orgasm was nearing quickly and he looked around once more, then released you to open his pants and free his cock, making you stiffen. 

“W-wait,” Your breathing grew shallow as your eyes widened. He shushed you and grabbed your ass again, pulling you closer until his cock was between your thighs, pressed up against your heat. 

“Kiss my neck, baby. C’mon.” He all but whined, desperately bucking his hips and fucking your thighs. “You know what I’ll do if you don’t.” He said through a breath, making you stiffen, but lean forward. He held his breath until your lips pressed against his neck. “Oh my god.” He whimpered. “Leave some marks.” He practically begged. 

Reluctantly, you sucked and licked and kissed and bit all over his neck. Leaving a few marks and making him even needier. Through heavy lidded eyes, he looked around the crowded subway car, finding everyone still either facing away from them, or focused on something. This was so fucking perfect. 

“Good girl. Keep going… Put your hands in my hair.” With a silent sob, you lifted your hands and gently grabbed his hair. “God— you’re gonna make me come.” He said through a breathy laugh. “Squeeze your thighs together.” You obeyed and he had to bite down on your shoulder to stifle a moan. 

His hips started bucking more frantically now. If anyone looked over, it wouldn’t take them long to figure out that something inappropriate was going on. But he was so fucking horny and drunk on you that he didn’t even care. He wouldn’t care if every single person turned around and started watching. They wouldn’t see your tits or feel your ass like he could, they couldn’t feel your lips or the softness of your thighs. So he didn’t give two shits if people wanted a free show. It didn’t change the fact that you were his.  

“You’re so good at this.” He whined, enjoying the feeling of your lips on his neck and your body against his. He was able to smell your perfume and your hair so clearly and it was making his brain practically go blank. 

When the subway stopped, he paused and held you close to make sure no one could see your tits. He waited until the subway started moving again before continuing, listening to the automated voice call out the next stop— his stop. Tightening his grip on your ass, he started rutting his hips faster as he chased his orgasm. You continued kissing over his neck and lightly pulling on his hair, getting him so worked up that his dick almost hurt with how hard it was. 

“Don’t stop… don’t stop, baby.” He whispered breathily, moving one hand from your ass to squeeze and grope your tits. You whined quietly and it was like everything inside him just snapped. He bit down on your shoulder and pulled his hips back to jerk himself off quickly until he finally fell over the edge. Each rope of come that shot out his cock landed between your legs, covering your cunt in his seed— marking you. He grunted quietly as he panted, riding it out and savoring it as much as possible. When his orgasm finally faded, he tucked himself back in his pants, then pulled back to look at you with a smile. 

“You’re such a good girl.” He chuckled, taking out his phone. “Lift your skirt for me.” You let out a silent sob, but took the bottom of it in your shaky hands and slowly pulled it up. He took a few close up pictures of your pussy and some wider shots when his come started dripping down your thighs, then pulled back even more to get your tits in it too. “Smile.” He chuckled, getting once of just your face and your tits. That’ll probably be the one he uses the most. He put his phone away and bit his lip as he stared at you, reaching out to feel your tits one last time. 

“Goddamn…” He muttered to himself. The subway slowing down snapped him out of the trance he was in. “This is my stop. Thanks again.” He smiled, moving his gaze up to look into your glossy eyes. “Until next time.” The way he said it was as if you both had your own inside joke now. You didn’t respond as you fixed your tank top and wiped the tears and mascara tracks from under your eyes, but he wasn’t exactly expecting you to. When the subway finally stopped and the doors opened, he walked out, already imagining what would happen the next time he saw you. 

Part 3

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[joelmillersmunch]

harvest moon (joel miller x reader)

Summary: Joel Miller can't keep his eyes off of you. And damn, that ass is nice.

Ratings/Warnings: Fluff, some cussing, ass staring. Mostly just Joel Miller being in love and Tommy Miller being a little shit. Age gap, but both reader and Joel are grown adults (like reader is 30s Joel is early 50s) Joel has some anxiety, but nothing too descriptive. Canon divergence. I hope that's everything!

Word count: 845

A/N: I was listening to Harvest Moon by Neil Young the other day and thought to myself, "Joel Miller Joel Miller Joel Miller Joel Miller Joel Miller." Yeah, you get the gist. This was in my drafts from a few weeks ago and so I thought I would finish it. I hope you like it! Just something short and sweet. :) Imagine this gif but as Joel Miller and his beautiful greying hair....

“Darlin’, you know I don’t wanna do this either, but we gotta,” Joel says, a slightly annoyed gruff in his voice. It’s not like he’s annoyed with you, but he’s getting tired of pleading to get this show on the road. He hears you call back something from upstairs and he rolls his eyes, shuffling his way to the bathroom in which you’re currently occupying. 

“Joel,” You start when he enters through the door. “I don’t mind going, and you know that. What I mind is you not tellin’ me till twenty minutes ago!” You say with a scowl. Your eyes lock through the mirror and he softens.

“”M sorry, sweet girl. Tommy didn’t tell me till we were leaving work today. I had about as much of a heads up as you did,” He says. You can tell he’s sorry, so with a soft huff you turn to face him.

“Well, he can’t be mad if we’re a few minutes late then. I’ll be done shortly, honey. Please stop stressing,” You say, giving him a soft kiss to his cheek. And just like that, everything was okay again. He needed you to remind him that everything is okay. I mean, the world is still ending, but everything is okay. Ellie and Tommy are safe. You are safe. He can’t ask for much more than that. He’s been having some anxiety issues lately, but you’ve been his saving grace. You make everything okay. With a nod, he leaves you in the bathroom alone. Sure enough, you emerge from the bathroom just a few minutes later ready to go. You grab your coats and make your way over to the bar.

Joel can’t keep his eyes off of you. All night he’s been staring you down from a seat at the bar, lightly sipping a beer. You’ve been dancing all evening with your friends..and Tommy. It was per his request for his birthday. “One dance, please. It’ll be so fun!” The younger brother pleads. You laugh and roll your eyes at him. He looks charming in his get up paired with a handsome cowboy hat on top of his head. He’s always been fond of you, but you always laugh it off and tell him to find someone his own age. He’d usually laugh and tell you to do the same, being that Joel is quite a few years older than you. Joel would usually mumble something and pout as you and Tommy continued to poke fun at Joel’s expense. You all know that Tommy’s crush isn’t serious, so you agree and follow your brother in law to the floor. 

The song changes as the two of you find a spot, and a lively dance song starts. Joel watches the two of you from the bar. God, your ass looks so good in those jeans. They fit perfectly, sculpting your hips and figure so well that he can’t help but swoon over you. He watches as you and Tommy hold hands, swinging in circles like two teenagers. Tommy places the cowboy hat on your head and gives a loud, “YEEEEEEEEHAWWWWW,” across the bar. Joel laughs as you buckle over in a fit of giggles. Joel stands up, finishes his beer and slowly makes his way to you as the song comes to an end. 

“Alright, give her back to me.” He says playfully, but you know part of him is serious. Tommy laughs and gives you a pat on your arm.

“Thanks, darlin’. If you get tired of my brother any time soon, you know where to find me.” He says and shuffles away laughing. Joel rolls his eyes and pulls you closer. The next song begins, the simple guitar strum taking him back to a simpler time. Harvest Moon by Neil Young plays overhead softly, and the two of you begin to sway along. 

“That fuckin’ guy, I swear,” He says and you can’t help but laugh at him. He stares down at you, confused as to what you’re making such a fuss about. “What are you lookin’ at?” He asks. 

“You are such a silly man, Joel Miller,” You say and smile at him. You grab the back of his neck to pull his face closer to yours. “There ain’t no man better than you. I want you. I am yours.” You say, and you take the cowboy hat from your head and place it on his. He chuckles and pulls you even closer, savoring the moment. 

Because I’m still in love with you

I wanna see you dance again

Because I’m still in love with you

On this harvest moon

He leans down, cowboy hat slipping down his head, and gives you a slow kiss. The harmonica and guitar sing in the background. Everything feels perfect. 

“My girl, I love you,” He says. He feels you smile against his lips, never taking yours away. “I love you, too.”

Because I’m still in love with you

I wanna see you dance again

Because I’m still in love with you

On this harvest moon

A/N: dividers by @saradika-graphics thanks so much!!

[most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer]

Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*

*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.

Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:

as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)

while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates

Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)

That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:

***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.

I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***

Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.

But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?

Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:

C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?

Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*

Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:

A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice

A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…

Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:

C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?

He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.

Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.

A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:

SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed

(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)

I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?

"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.

In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.

And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.

So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.

If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.

"Then nothing has to change, does it?"

[half-oz-eddie]

After Max snuck off one day, Steve brings her home right before Neil and Susan return.

Billy gives her and Steve shit about it on the porch, freezing up when Neil's car pulls into the driveway.

He notices the way Neil's normally hard and intimidating stare softens upon seeing Harrington in front of their house.

He greets him, shakes his hand, makes polite small talk with him and invites him in for dinner.

Steve glances over at Billy, noticing how he rolled his eyes and he politely declines.

"I really shouldn't—"

"I insist." Neil goads him, gently pushing him inside and leading him to the table. "Susan's cooking is divine."

Billy groaned. Of course, Steve was the golden boy everyone adored, even his own father. What was so perfect about him anyway?

Billy is imagining he can shoot lasers from his eyes at Steve, and Steve can feel the intention coming from Billy's glares.

He plans to leave early, but Neil offers him dessert, offers him a beer, asks if he wants to stay and watch the game.

Why the fuck's this guy being so nice to Steve?

Because the Harrington name holds so much prestige in Hawkins? Because it can help him get a promotion? What? What the fuck is it? It can't just be because of Steve.

Billy notices that Steve feels really awkward, but he's always been taught to be polite, so he does what any golden boy would do. He stays, he accepts Neil's kindness, he answers questions when asked.

Of course, Neil brings up Mr. Harrington, asking about his company and how it's doing.

His question seems really motivated and Billy's pissed off to the point of no return. He stands, politely excusing himself to his room.

"Don't you wanna watch the game, son?"

Son...?

Who in god's name was he talking to? Not me, Billy assumed.

Why was his voice so soft and his eyes so warm? That wasn't Neil. That wasn't Sir. Billy was afraid of this version of Neil and that warm smile that showed the crow's feet beside his beady, lying eyes.

Billy slowly sat back down next to Steve.

"Billy used to love baseball."

No I didn't.

"He lost interest. He's much better at basketball. Aren't you boys on the same team?"

"Yes, sir, we are." Steve nodded. "He's really good."

Neil laughed. "That's my boy."

What?! Am I in an alternate universe?

When the fever dream of a night ended, Neil told Billy to walk Steve to his car.

"Uh...See you at school?" Steve said uncertainly.

"Yeah." He watched Steve get into his car and walked back into his house.

Neil's warm, fake smile was gone, along with that soft welcoming voice.

It was all a facade, just as he'd assumed.

Neil ordered him to do the dishes, including Steve's. Nothing disgusted him more than cleaning up after Steve.

To make matters worse, this became a constant. Neil was letting Max's nerdy friends come over and Steve would pick them up, then circle back for dinner or a beer with Neil.

Neil would insist on including Billy, bragging about how strong, or how bright Billy was, bringing up the days in California, the very few good ones.

It pissed Billy off, but the nights Steve would come over, there was no shouting, no beatings and Neil was...nice.

Billy started passing notes to Steve at school, inviting him over, especially on Sundays so he didn't have to deal with Neil's bullshit on his day off.

At first, Steve would keep Neil out of Billy's hair, but then, Steve stopped by Billy's room to ask him why he always invited him over if he didn't wanna hang out.

"I thought maybe Neil'd like hanging out with you."

"So you invited me over to keep your dad company? Why don't you just hang out with him?"

"Because we don't get along. He's...he's not always like that." Billy quietly mumbled, hoping Neil didn't suddenly develop super hearing.

"Oh." Steve slowly shut the door. "So that's why you keep inviting me over?"

Billy shrugged.

"Well, Max told Dustin, and Dustin told me that your dad beats the hell out of you, that true?"

Billy's body tightened up and he went dead silent. "The fuck do you care?" He snapped.

"It's not cool." Steve sat on the floor across from Billy. "I don't wanna come here and keep hanging out with your dad. I kinda thought we were hanging out. That's why I would stay."

"You...wanted to hang out with me?" He skeptically narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah. I've been hoping we could get along for a change. I didn't know you were just using me to keep your dad out of your hair."

"I—I didn't think you'd wanna hang out with me. I thought you liked hanging out with Neil."

Steve laughed. "I don't hang out with old people."

"Yeah, you hang out with little kids instead."

"Shut up, I'm their babysitter. Those little shits are always getting into some kind of trouble."

"Whatever. So...d'you wanna like...hang...now?"

Steve nodded without hesitation. "Yeah. That's why I come here in the first place."

"You like Metallica?"

"No."

"Mötley Crüe?"

"Not really."

"Surfing?"

"Eh. Not really any beaches around."

Billy scoffed, shaking his head in disapproval. "The hell do you like?"

Steve pointed to a deck of cards on Billy's dresser. "Know how to play War?"

"Vaguely." Billy shrugged before grabbing the deck and handing it to Steve.

They played a few rounds of cards before they were laughing and shit-talking into the late hours of the night.

Neil didn't disturb them at all.

Dedicating this to @mangywayway since you're always being so kind when I'm feeling down. Tysm ❤️

[queenofthearchipelago]

My favorite theory coming out of good omens this season is that Aziraphale MADE the humans in much the same way that Crowley made the stars.

The evidence I've gathered so far is this:

In the creation scene, Aziraphale gets excited about the "peo-ple" he says "WE'RE currently designing." The word choice is important because in other sentences he talks about Heaven in a "they" sort of way. "They're talking about ending this all in 6,000 years." "When they roll out that section, that's where Earth will be." But designing humans? That's a WE thing. Like, he's doing it too.

His artistic ability to draw Gabriel. To design people, I imagine he would have spent a lot of time drawing people, and his portrait of Gabriel was incredibly good and he drew it so casually. Like it was second nature to him.

This would all explain why Aziraphale has this deep need to protect people. It feels exactly the same as angel Crowley's deep need to protect the universe and his nebula. It also explains Aziraphale's compassion towards humans even though no other angel had such interest in them. Aziraphale loves human life and Crowley gives him the permission he needs to actually enjoy it.

Humans, even in the bible, are made of dust. What if it was Aziraphale that took stardust and did the miracle that made Adam?

God gave Aziraphale the flaming sword to protect Eden. Assuming that Adam was created by Aziraphale, it makes sense that the Almighty wanted Aziraphale to protect the new creation.

There's probably more. I would love to hear people's thoughts on this! I just think it would make sense in a Mother Earth and Father Time kind of way, Crowley created the universe and Aziraphale created humanity within it. Two creations that need each other to make sense and have a purpose.

Also, I already anticipate that someone will reply saying that Aziraphale isn't an archangel Before the Beginning and wouldn't have the power. I raise you that being a Principality is no small role for an angel in the good omens universe. It's the level right under archangel, as Neil has said before here on tumblr.

[rekikiri]

kevin and neil podcast headcanons

I love kevin and neil having an exy podcast so much but imagine if they each do accents for them. like the bit is them keeping up an accent the entire time. kevin does an irish accent and neil alternates between so many different accents flawlessly that exy fans are like ?? what even IS his real accent?

one of the fan favorite episodes was when neil was (failing) to imitate kevin’s Irish accent and they kept getting distracted because that’s the ONE accent neil has struggled with and kevin is so happy that he’s better than neil

but bc this is kevin and neil, they still mostly stick on topic! it’s just broken up with silly accent time

notable guest appearances!

matt is a fan favorite because he is so laughably bad at all accents he tries but he does them with such confidence. it’s very endearing

andrew and aaron refuse to accents, instead only speaking in another language. when it’s just andrew he does german, but he does russian if aaron is there so only neil understands him. even if kevin and neil try to say something in french they still respond in german/russian and it ends up just being complete nonsense for a good part of their answers

jean does a very convincing american accent. for some reason his best accent is a southern accent?? many fans did not survive hearing jean say, “bless your heart”

jeremy, on the other hand, does a french accent (his matches a lot with jean because he based it on jean’s!)