#implied roi reference no way

[mayeblade]

a warm moment

[chuthulhu-plays]

I generally watch LPs of horror games bc I'm too anxious to actually play them but a lot of them have FANTASTIC stories, so sometimes I just binge-watch KrinxTV for background noise. Been watching a lot of playthroughs of Still Wakes The Deep because it's such a delight to hear Scottish voice actors get work and I thought I'd address some questions I keep seeing Let's Players ask:

--Adair is a member of the National Front as you can find out from posters in his cabin, a Neo-Fascist British political party that’s been going since the sixties. While it often preaches British ethnic unity, in practice that often means “everybody in the UK should be exactly like East End Londerners” and features plentiful disdain for Scottish, Irish, and Welsh folk, alongside those perceived as “not British”. No wonder the wanker eats alone in the canteen.

--Neeps and Tatties=turnips and potatoes, mashed, drenched in butter or sauce. Fills your belly, keeps you warm, probably makes you sink like a stone because it’s so heavy.

--Cranachan=a dessert made of raspberries, honey, cream and oats, absolutely delicious

--Rennick calls Caz a “wee ned prick”. Ned is apocryphally said to stand for “non-educated delinquent” and is basically just a way of calling someone an uneducated, lower-class criminal

--A lot of things said by and about Roy indicate that he’s a teetotaller who went through AA and specifically became Catholic and is making an effort at converting Caz.

--I think it’s entertaining how Scottish nicknames often follow a pattern of shortening/rejiggering that I also see a lot with Australian nicknames—Cameron becomes Caz, Rafferty becomes Raffs, etc. Trots is an unusual one but is almost certainly a reference to him being a communist, presumably a Trotskyist. Gibbo is also an unusual one in that it’s just very silly. There’s a kind of indignity implied in being killed by a guy called Gibbo.

--A few times on the radio you hear the Shipping Forecast, a type of weather report aimed at specifically reporting weather conditions out on the ocean, and is also famous for the report being read in such a calm, soothing tone that some folk use it as a sleep aid.

--All the yellow paint for interactable things is very video gamey, yes, but is also in line with old British health and safety standards, and yellow paint on things like emergency ladders or on the edges of stairs that are trip hazards is a thing ou can still see in some older buildings.

--Caz keeps saying he’s “good with the leccy”; leccy=electricity. Caz is implied to be quite a wee guy who can get through a lot of tight spaces, and my uncle swears blind that electricians used to refuse to take on apprentices over a certain size because they only wanted to train wee guys who could get up into the tight spaces that a lot of older buildings are full of. On that note, “wee man” is a term of endearment, generally, and isn’t exclusively applied to short guys.

--Finlay saying of Gibbo that “he’s no right” is INCREDIBLY OMINOUS. It sounds mild but “he’s no right, that boy” is what older folk say about a child who’s been found disembowelling cats for fun or someone they strongly suspect is a pedophile. It’s not something you’d say about a friend who’s just acting a bit unusually.

– “Great minds united over a Buckie”--Buckfast, or Buckie, is a caffienated tonic wine that’s cheap, widely accessible, and is a bit like rocket fuel for bad decisions.

– “Ya roaster” tbh I don’t really know where it comes from, calling someone a roaster, but I’ve always felt like it has a vibe of telling them they’re huffing their own farts.

--Scunnert/scunnered--buggered, screwed, utterly fucked, etc

– “You’re the jammiest bastart on this rig” Someone who is jammy is someone who has incredible luck that is implied to be related to their sheer confidence or willingness to engage in risky behaviour. Walking along the street and finding a pound coin isn’t jammy; crossing the road confident that the cars won’t hit you and stopping in the middle to pick up a pound coin before making it unscathed to the other side is jammy as all hell.

--Barlinnie is the biggest prison in Scotland, and largely hosts violent offenders—it’s where Caz would definitely go for hospitalizing a man.

--Weans are children (contraction of wee yins/wee ones). I thought this one was contextually obvious but apparently not.

SPOILERS BELOW

--”One spark and the whole thing’ll go up”—this is referring to the wee spark of flame in the lighter used to blow up the rig, but is also kind of a pun because electricians are often called sparks or sparkies, and in the end it’s Caz who blows up the rig.

[soleminisanction]

I've always really liked DC's in-house choice of referring to their various superhero groupings as "families," but it has gotten a little frustrating recently with people both in canon and in fandom seeming to forget that families aren't just a parental-unit-and-kids formation. They're complicated, and a lot of the DC families are too messy to fit into that neat little nuclear family mode.

Which is to say... here's some scattered thoughts/summaries about how these families are actually structured in canon, because I think it's interesting:

Supers -- The smaller, more traditional Superfamily (Clark, Lois, Kara, Kon, etc.) is a pretty traditional Midwestern nuclear family, with Jimmy Olsen filling the role of close family friend/goofy neighbor sidekick (in the Silver Age, he was Kara's would-be suitor) and Steel feeling more like part of Clark's personal circle of friends. The recent line up, though, with Jon, the twins, Kong and Nat? Starts to feel more like some old dynasty or noble house, complete with fostered foundlings and the Steels acting almost like knights under a noble's banner, possibly reflective of what the House of El would have been on Krypton.

Arrows -- Might currently be the closet to a traditional nuclear family structure. You've got Ollie and Dinah, their younger sisters, Ollie's adopted and biological children, and Ollie's granddaughter through Roy, plus by some counts Roy's co-parent and her sister as "in-laws." Bonnie and Cissie King-Jones are adjacent to but not technically "part" of the family, though I believe it's implied at one point that Ollie might also be Cissie's bio-dad. Pretty straightforward, these guys are actually family and they act like it, for good and ill.

Shazam Family -- Also a literal, actual family. Not originally, the original golden age "Marvel Family" was considerably more complicated and only Billy and Mary were full siblings, but nowadays the whole point of the modern Shazam family is that they're foster siblings united by familial love and that's fantastic. Meanwhile your average Black Adam story is 75% angsty family drama, 25% Egyptian mythology references.

Flashes -- Technically closer to three nuclear families (the Allens, the Wests and the Garricks; four if you include the Quicks), two of whom are united by marriage and all of whom are bound by the Speedforce, which, given its semi-spiritual connections to things like Speedster afterlives, can act almost like a religious force that connects them to the additional members like Avery, Circuit Breaker and Max as Bart's foster-dad. They're a big, sprawling tree with more cousins than siblings, the kind of family that functionally has a reunion every Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Lanterns -- Now these guys are the exception that proves my point about the whole 'family' thing not being straightforward. The lanterns aren't a family, they're a corps. Soldiers. Space cops. Comrades-in-arms. They respect each other, have each other's backs, might even like or care about each other, but those last two are optional, and they don't have the same kind of assumed obligations towards each other that a family would have. They're friends and co-workers, not family, but that doesn't mean their relationships are less significant, they're just different.

Wonders -- Roughly half of them are either one of Hippolyta's daughters (Diana, Donna, Nubia pre-Crisis) or related to them through the gods (Cassie), and the other half (Artemis, Yara, modern-age Nubia) use sister as a term of endearment more in a utopian lesbian commune kind of way. I think they brought Steve Trevor back recently? He's basically the Ken in this equation and perfectly fine with that role. None of which should be surprising if you've seen Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.

Bats -- This is the one that people get really wrong when they try to force it into a traditional family structure. Don't let WFA fool you, the Bats are and have always been way more a snarled mess of tangled interpersonal relationships than they've ever been a cohesive family. Whether Dick is Bruce's son or his brother depends on what era you're talking about, and the former reading is much more recent than you think -- as in "started cropping up in the early 2000s" recent. Barbara is both Cassandra's sister and her mother. Duke and Steph both have living parents and neither of them want or would ever dream of treating Bruce like their dad; Tim was the same way until his dad died. None of the Robins ever lived in the mansion together, nor did Cass. Babs considered Jean-Paul Valley her brother and Huntress is so close to Tim she once hallucinated him calling her Big Sister. They're a beautiful mess of people finding places where their broken edges fit together into something that works for them and trying to reduce it down to a cozy nuclear family is just so goddamn reductive and lazy.

Blue Beetles -- Are only tangentially related to each other. Seriously, they never even get direct mentoring, each one just takes over when the previous one dies and works on completely different rules from the other two. They're complete strangers bound by a legacy and that's honestly pretty fun.

Zataras -- There's only three of them and they're literally a father, daughter and cousin.

Martians -- Not really a family because there's only the two of them, but an interesting case where the two survivors of what was functionally a war of mutually assured destruction came together in an attempt to find some peace in the aftermath of what they'd lost.

Titans -- The JLA and JSA aren't really in the "family" category, but the Titans lean into it hard, mostly because they're a textbook found family. They don't mirror a nuclear family structure, they're simply a group of people who came together to form a mutual support network. They're the idealized college friends you grew into your own with, some of them childhood companions and others you only met once you leave home for the first time, but all of them friends that you manage to maintain contact with for life, with everyone coming back together even as you scatter and do your own things.

Young Justice -- Meanwhile, this team is the chaotic group of misfits you hung out with when you were a teenager, especially when you were just starting to be allowed to act without adult supervision. You drive each other crazy, none of you know you're all queer as fuck, and you'd fight a bear for any of them even if they asked you not to. They'd probably be insulted if you tried to call them a family. They come out here to get away from their families, thank you very much.

[stephstars08]

Boyfriend

Jason Todd x Reader

Warnings: Adult Language, Mention of Stealing, Alcohol, Sexual References, Sexual Contact, Sexual Themes, Implied Smut, Jealousy, Reader Being Taken Advantage, Angst, Nudity, Fluff, Buzz Driving, and Maybe Some Grammar Errors. (Sorry if I forgot any!!)

Summary: Jason met Y/N five months ago and ever since that night he became so intrigued with her. He knew she was different from all the other girls so it didn’t take long at all for him to fall for her. But the only problem for Jason is that Y/N keeps getting back together with a fuckboy. Jason tries all he can to get her to realize that he could be a better boyfriend than her on and off again ex. But one night he finally gets the opportunity to make it clear.

Inspired Song: Boyfriend by Dove Cameron

Word Count: 1,916

Jason and Y/N have been best friends for about five years now. Y/N is also a vigilante but is more of an Anti-hero since she’s more on the bad side of the law than the good side of the law. The only time she was on the good side of the law is if someone wronged her.

How Jason and Y/N met was one night where Jason caught her stealing a prized sliver necklace for the most expensive jewelry shop in Gotham. She was stealing the necklace for someone in exchange for money which is what she does with a lot of crooks or mob bosses. Since Jason was so intrigued with Y/N he let her go and that’s how their story started.

Two months ago Jason let Y/N move into his apartment with him since she’s been having issues with her on and off again boyfriend, Rex. Jason has hoped that Y/N would forget that asshole and realize he could be a much better boyfriend but he’s had no luck. It always pisses Jason off when she goes back to that asshole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N and Jason were out at a Gotham nightclub with Roy since he just came into town for a visit. Jason was having a good time till Mr.Asshole showed up. Y/N was out on the dance floor grinding her ass all over Rex’s dick. Jason was standing at the bar with Roy glaring out at them.

“You glaring at them isn’t going to break them up.” Roy told him. “I can’t believe she keeps going back to that fuckboy.” Jason hissed looking away from the dance floor and grabbed his beer from the counter and took a big swing of the beverage. “Maybe if you actually make a move on her she won’t keep going back to that fuckboy.” Roy told him which made Jason slam the beer bottle back down on the counter. “Don’t you think I have fucking tried. It’s not that fucking easy.” Jason told him with anger in his voice. “Says the ladies man.” Roy said with a harsh laugh which just continued to piss Jason off. “You know what Roy.” Jason started as he could feel his blood boil. “Start minding your own fucking business.” Jason snapped and walked passed him. “Jason!” Roy called out to him over the music but Jason ignored him and kept on walking.

Jason had to squeeze his way through crowds of people to get to the men’s bathroom with was at the back of the nightclub. A couple of girls whistled at him but he just rolled his eyes and kept on walking. Getting laid would definitely help him but the girl he wants is grinding all over a different man.

When Jason walked into the bathroom he was relieved that no one was in there. He walked over to one of the sinks and turned on the cold water. He leaned over the sink and splashed the cold water on his face. Jason has only had two beers and one shot of whiskey but he could feel a small buzz coming. He turned the water off and stood back up. He grabbed a bunch of paper towel and dried his face off. He was hoping the cold water would cool off his anger and jealousy but it didn’t. He knew if he stayed he was going to do something he will regret in the morning so he’s just going to go back out there, tell Roy he’s calling it a night and go back to his apartment.

After Jason threw the paper towels in the trash can he walked out of the bathroom and back into the crowds of people. As Jason squeezed his way back to Roy the same girls called out to him again but again he ignored the again by rolling his eyes and walking. Jason looked around for Roy but he was nowhere to be found but he did see Y/N standing at the bar by herself so he walked over to her.

“Hey.” Jason said getting her attention. “Where is Roy at?” Jason asked her. “He met some horny chick so they left to go fuck at her place.” Y/N answered grabbed a shot and chugged it. She hissed at burning sensation in her throat from the whiskey.

“What about Rex?” Jason asked trying to show that he gives a fuck about that fucker. Y/N slammed the shot glass down on the counter which made Jason jump a little since he wasn’t expecting her to do that. “He fucking ditched me.” Y/N hissed. This isn’t the first time that Rex had ditched Y/N so that’s why Jason wasn’t surprised but he was pissed if even more now. “Why did he ditch you?” Jason asked trying his best to hide his anger the best he could. Let’s just say the only reason why Jason hasn’t beat the living shit out of Rex yet is because he knows Y/N could do it herself if she wanted to. “He wanted to go back to his place to hook up but I told him I didn’t want to leave you hear by yourself so he got pissed off and left.” Y/N explained to him.

“Listen-“ Jason started but she immediately cut him off. “Don’t fucking say it Jason!” Y/N hissed looking away from him. “Don’t say what?” Jason asked in confusion. “You stupid fucking pity speech.” Y/N snapped looking back at him. “I’m tired of hearing the same shit every fucking time.” She added which now set Jason off. “Well I wouldn’t keep telling you that shit if you would open your fucking eyes and stop going back to that fuckboy!” Jason said finally letting out the anger and frustration he’s been holding in. “Everytime you two break up I always see him fucking around with other girls. After he get’s ditched by them he goes running right back to you because he knows you’ll take him back.” Jason told her in stern tone. He was about to say more but he stopped himself when he saw tears forming and in Y/N’s eyes.

“It’s because I don’t know how to say no to him.” Y/N said with frustration in her voice. “I’m never going to learn my fucking lesson.” Y/N added looking away from Jason again. “Y/N, you are beautiful and you can find a much better boyfriend than Rex.” Jason told her which made Y/N scoff. “And who the fuck would that guy be?” Y/N said in annoyance wiping the tears from her eyes. “Maybe me.” Jason blurted out which quickly made Y/N look back at him. “What?” Y/N said in shock. “Oh fuck it.” Jason mumbled to himself.

He grabbed one of Y/N’s arms and pulled her body close to his. Before Y/N could say anything he smashed his lips onto hers. Y/N felt her whole body go into shock but she couldn’t pull away because the kiss felt so right. The kiss quickly turned into a make out session. Jason let go over her wrist and put his hands on her hips while her eyes wrapped around his neck. They broke the kiss when they needed air. They rested their foreheads against one another’s as they started to catch their breaths.

“How about we continue this in private.” Y/N said looking at him with lust in her eyes. “Where do you want to go?” Jason asked looking back at her with lust filled eyes. “How about your bedroom?” Y/N said as her lips curved into a smirk. Jason smirked back. “Let’s go.” Jason told her.

They left money for the drinks on the counter and walked out of the nightclub hand and hand. They got onto Jason’s motorcycle and he sped his way back to his apartment for a night he’s been waiting for since the first night he laid eyes on Y/N.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning Jason woke up with the best feeling in the world but it quickly faded away when he saw the other side of his bed empty. “Fuck!” Jason hissed. He pulled his bed sheets off his naked body and stood up. He walked over to his dresser and first pulled out a pair of boxers. He slipped on the boxers and then grabbed a black t-shirt out of the drawer. After he put on the t-shirt he walked out of his bedroom.

When he walked down the hall he stopped in front of Y/N’s room she wasn’t in there but he did notice the clothes she was wearing were laying on the end off her bed. Jason let out a heavy sigh as he ran a hand through his messy hair. Jason was a bit nervous that Y/N is thinking that what happened between them was just a drunken one night stand.

Jason walked into the living room to see no one in there. Roy must still be at his one night stand’s house. When he heard a noise coming from the small kitchen he knew Y/N must’ve been in there. Jason walked to the doorway of the kitchen to see Y/N pouring herself a cup of coffee. Jason knew she must’ve taken a shower since her hair was wet. He didn’t realize that he was just standing there staring at her till she said something to him.

“Want a cup of coffee?” Y/N asked him in a curious tone. “Oh yeah.” Jason answered walking towards her. He watched Y/N pull out a mug from the top cabinet and poured coffee into the mug. She handed the mug over to him. “Thanks.” Jason said carefully taking the mug and took a sip of it after blowing on it. “No problem.” Y/N told him. Jason set his mug down on the counter after taking a couple more sips. “So um how are you feeling?” Jason asked her. “I don’t have a hangover. I just had a buzz.” Y/N told him which made him feel a little bit relieved. “Me too.” Jason said and put his cup of coffee down on the counter.

Silence fell between the two till Y/N’s phone started to ring on the counter. When Y/N saw the caller ID she let out a groan and declined the call. “Who was that?” Jason asked since she declined the call before he could see the caller ID. “Who do you think?” Y/N said with annoyance. “Are you going to go back to him?” Jason asked with jealousy in his voice avoiding eye contact with her. He didn’t even try to hide his jealousy since they did just have sex about eight hours ago. “Well, it depends.” Y/N told him looking at him. Jason looked back at her with a confused look in his eyes. “Depends on if you meant what you said to me last night in the nightclub.” Y/N told him which made Jason’s lips curve up into a smile. He took one of her hands and held it. “I meant ever word I said to you last night.” Jason told her which made her smile.

She walked closer to him, leaned in and connected her lips with his’s for a soft kiss. Y/N put her other hand on his cheek and stoked it gently with her thumb which made him lean into her touch. “You can be a better boyfriend than him.” Y/N told him. “Damn fucking straight.” Jason said which made her giggle. She leaned in again and connected their lips for another sweet and soft kiss.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Hey, I was wondering if you'd do a Roy Kent x reader series (maybe) where she asks him to pretend they're boyfriend/girlfriend because her ex-boyfriend is marrying her somewhat younger sister. Kinda like The Wedding Date (if you've seen it). Ends up happily ever after?

Ahh, I was going to originally try to do this in one go, but decided to do this in a few small parts so I can get some fluff breaks while working on my longer fic. Here's part one!

Playing Pretend (Part 1)

Roy Kent x Reader

1.9k words

Warnings: Language, references to possible cheating, mutual pining, major rom-com vibes

Summary: The reader has a huge favor to ask Roy Kent- a guy who can never say no to her.

Series Masterlist

“What the fuck d’you want me to do?”

“Be my boyfriend,” you explained slowly. “At the wedding.”

Roy wrinkled his nose. “There’s really no one else you can ask?”

You let out a giant sigh and tapped the side of your beer bottle. “I mean, sure, maybe. But you’re Roy fucking Kent. You’d be kind of perfect.”

His eyes bore into yours. Roy Kent had known you quite literally your whole life; he could still remember when his very pregnant mother took him to the hospital to meet you, his sister’s future best friend. Your families were ridiculously close. Up until you were about sixteen, he thought of you as an annoying little bonus sister; then, one Christmas, he came home and suddenly felt decidedly un-brotherly towards you. The way you smiled at him, the way you wore that pink dress, the way you kissed his cheek before you left at the end of the party, all of it made something snap in his brain. For years after that, the very sight of you burned his chest. But there was no way he could tell you; his little sister’s best friend? Cliché.

But those cliché feelings meant he couldn’t say no to you. Not when you’d called him late at night needing to escape from skeevy dates. Not when you’d begged him for an autograph from Jamie Tartt. Not when you’d demanded to know where he got the kebabs he brought to his sister’s parties. And definitely not now, when your heart was in a million pieces as you watched your baby sister get ready to marry your ex-boyfriend.

The idea was insane, you freely admitted that. But the situation you found yourself was equally insane, if you were being honest.

You had dated Jim for years. And Roy fucking hated him. The guy was everything Roy wasn’t: friendly, outgoing, affable, posh, clever. And you loved him. Your parents loved him. Everyone loved him.

When Jim ended things out of the blue three years ago, everyone was shocked. He hadn’t proposed, per se, but it was expected. Things were implied. You’d started looking at rings and thinking about venues. So, when he suddenly broke up with you, you were devastated. You’d spent more than a few nights curled up on the couch at Roy’s sister’s house, with Roy taking Phoebe out of the house so you could mourn with your best friend in peace.

Just when you thought you were pretty much over things, your baby sister Lauren came home with big news. And a ring on her finger. And Jim.

You’d quietly excused yourself from the party she’d chosen to announce her engagement at, walked into a bathroom and vomited, and called Roy. He’d picked you up and drove you to his sister’s, where he watched you drink whiskey straight from a bottle and cry in his sister’s arms.

Now you sat next to him at a bar, where you’d asked him to meet you so you could ask him a huge favor. He’d expected tickets to a match, or help moving to a new flat, or asking him to donate a fucking kidney, literally anything but this. A weekend at some posh estate where your whole family would be celebrating your sister and fucking Jim, watching your heart break all over again sounded like absolute shit to Roy.

But you looked at him with those stupid pleading eyes. “Please, Roy,” you begged. “You’re the only guy I trust enough for this. You’ll protect me. You always protect me.”

There it was. It wasn’t just having the big football star on your arm to show off to everyone; it was having someone you felt safe with. Someone who wouldn’t mock you. Someone who understood. And Roy was always determined to be that person.

“Fine. I’ll fucking do it.”

His cheek burned like fire where you kissed him in gratitude. “Thanks a million Roy! This is why you’re my favorite fella.

Favorite fella. You’d called him that for years. Your mother was the first person to say it after seeing the way you toddled after him all the time once you’d learned to walk. Through the boyfriends you had, through the models he dated, you assured him time and time again that he’d always be your favorite fella.

Roy ignored the warmth in his chest and sipped his beer. “Doesn’t it feel a bit like you’re stealing your sister’s thunder? Bringing a professional footballer as your date?” he mused, anxious to move the conversation along and distract himself from how fucking pretty you looked.

The shrug you gave held a coldness he didn’t know someone as kind as you could muster. “Well, she did steal my boyfriend.”

The smirk that Roy gave made your heart flutter, reminding you of all the pining you’d done for him over the years. “Fair enough.” He looked thoughtful. “You don’t have to answer but… did he… and she…?” He nodded emphatically, not sure how to finish that sentence.

Another shrug. “Who fucking knows? I don’t need to know. They didn’t have the decency to tell me they’d started shagging, that’s all I need to know.”

Roy’s heart was sad to see the hurt in your eyes. He quickly changed his tone. “Can’t believe my sister isn’t invited. Figured you’d wrangle her into keeping you company all weekend.”

You snorted, one of Roy’s favorite sounds. “Oh, she was,” you corrected him. “She’s protesting because she hates Jim and my sister.” You raised your bottle to Roy appreciatively. “Yet another reason to invite you- I need at least one Kent there. And Phoebe couldn’t do shots with me or carry me back to our room when I’m sloshed.”

That was a job Roy wouldn’t mind doing. “Bit surprised I didn’t get an invite. Only known Lauren since she was fucking born.”

“Oh, there was no way you were getting invited. Jim hates you.” Your tone was so matter of fact it took Roy off guard.

“Excuse me?” Roy’d had no idea the disdain was mutual.

You nodded, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Yeah, when we were dating, he did not like me hanging out with a dishy footballer. Hates your guts.” Your face lit up playfully. “Yet another reason you’re the perfect wedding date.”

Another smirk crossed his bearded face. “Dishy? Is that his word or yours?”

With a laugh, you shoved him, slipping into that familiar old comfort, the one that made you forget he was Roy Kent. “Don’t go getting a big head, otherwise you won’t fit in the car.”

~

Two weeks later, Roy felt his grip on the steering wheel tighten as he pulled into the drive of the estate the two of you would be spending the weekend at. Of course Jim’s family had gone all out for the wedding. Wanker.

Your leg shook almost violently as your eyes darted around. Instinctively, Roy reached out and took your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Three days,” he reminded you. “That’s all we’ve gotta get through. Rehearsal dinner tomorrow, wedding Saturday, stupid brunch on Sunday.”

Looking down at your intertwined fingers, you nodded. “Maybe we can skip brunch?” you joked.

Deciding he should start playing the doting boyfriend now, he lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand. “We can abso-fucking-lutely skip brunch.”

And you knew he meant it. Roy always meant it. It was one of the million things that made him your absolute life-long unattainable crush that you thrust into the back of your mind. You always felt like a dumb little kid around him, as if you never quite outgrew the childhood you’d shared, but part of you hoped this weekend together would maybe help him see you in a different light. Besides, Roy’s sister was right when she suggested that Roy would really get under Jim’s skin.

As if summoned, Jim came bounding out of the house, waving at the familiar sight of your car. You felt your breath catch as you gazed at him. Jim. Your Jim. At least, what used to be your Jim.

You got out of the car and waved back. “Hey there!” you called, as if you hadn’t spent the last nine months avoiding him at every family gathering he and Lauren attended.

His smile faded when Roy got out of the car, wearing that signature scowl of his. “Roy!” Jim shouted, quickly recovering. “Didn’t know you were coming.” Now in front of you, he leaned closer. “Thought you were bringing that mystery boyfriend of yours,” he whispered, ignoring the fact that Roy could hear him.

Alright. Here we go. Time to sell it.

“I did,” you chirped brightly. You waved Roy over and wrapped an arm around his waist, while he placed a hand on your shoulder. “Surprise!”

For all the years you’d spent with Jim, you’d never seen him so red in the face. “Oh! Wow! That’s great!”

Roy smiled, a smug grin that felt so fucking good on his face. “It is great, isn’t it? Me and this one, finally getting together.”

Jim cleared his throat, squirming like a worm. “Right. Well, when did this-”

“Sister!”

Lauren came sprinting out of the house, squealing as if you were her favorite person in the world. She wrapped you in a hug and planted multiple kisses on your cheek. When she pulled back, she finally noticed Roy.

“Oh. Roy. What’re you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, Lauren,” he muttered through his teeth.

Your sister turned to you. “What happened to mystery boyfriend? I was so looking forward to meeting him,” she pouted.

You laid a hand on Roy’s stomach, pulling him close, pretending as if you did this all the time and not just in your dreams. “Well, I’m not sure introductions are necessary, considering you’ve known him forever,” you joked, hoping your tone was light.

Lauren looked as if she was doing a difficult maths problem. “I’m sorry, Roy? Your mystery boyfriend is Roy? As in, known him our whole lives, football phenomenon, used to chase you around the backyard with spiders Roy? That Roy?” Her eyes darted to Jim, who looked just as confused. “Are you joking?”

“Absolutely not,” you lied. “You said I could bring a date. I told you I’d bring my boyfriend.” You nodded towards Roy. “There he is. Is there problem or can we grab our things?”

That superior smile your youngest sister often wore appeared. “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” She judged Jim. “Love, could you send someone to grab their things?”

Roy rolled his eyes with one of his familiar groans. “Just tell me where the fucking room is. I can carry my own shit.” After a quick look from you, he cleared his throat. “Sorry, just a bit tired from the drive. And, if we’re being candid, kind of want to get this one alone for a bit before dinner, you know?” A kiss landed on the top of your head, painting your face a deep red.

The bride and groom both gawked at you, as if waiting for one of you to shout that you were kidding, that you were pathetically alone and that Roy was leaving. When neither of you did, Lauren cleared her throat. “Right. Um, when you go inside the housekeeper can show you where to go.” She turned to Jim. “We should go, er, check on that thing, right darling?”

Jim nodded, his eyes on you. “Right, right.” He offered a small wave. “We’ll see you later then.”

As soon as they were out of sight, Roy looked down at you, eyebrow quirked. “Well. This’ll be a fun weekend, hmm?”

[chaithetics]

Porcelain and the Shark - The 80th

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) reader

(reader has anxiety, no use of y/n, physical descriptions or other names but does have the nickname Porcelain/Porce - due to family viewing her that way not because of complexion)

Word count: 5K

Prompt: Logan’s birthday Oc!Roy and their two toddler kids, pregnant with the last one goes to the surprise party. Logan at this point while loves his daughter isn’t too thrilled with the fact that Stewy isn’t in the business or like open to help logan as “family,” so he’s kind of soured on Stewy. And while he loves his grandkids, he’s kind of not happy they’re Hosseini’s and y/n is one too, he’s pretty salty that even though it’s hyphenated she’s pretty okay with just being called Mrs. Hosseini at pre-school pickup. So the dinner is on and y/n is talking with her siblings and tending to the kids and Stewy shows up pretty late due to business, which also pisses Logan off because while he admires it, he also sees it as a slight to himself. Y/n stops it, gently but also pretty much uses her pregnancy and meek daughter rep to kind of disarm her dad’s explosion and barbs. (slight variation on some stuff)

Chapter/content warning: 18+ MINORS DNI, established relationship, implied spice but not really, soft Stewy, dad + husband Stewy, anxious reader, anxiety, mentions/references to drug use (not depicted though), mentions/allusions to childhood abuse, canonical Roy Roy family being Roys...

Authors note: This was one prompt of a few in a single ask so I haven't directly responded to it as it will be a little series of drabbles and to keep the other prompts in there so I don't forget. This is an anxious f (afab) Roy reader. Sorry for the slight delay in this, I ended up changing my mind about which fic I wanted to finish and post, it just made more sense dramaturgically... I hope you you all enjoy this and let me know what you think! Especially the lovely Nonnie that sent this in, I appreciate you!

****************

It’s the day of your father’s 80th birthday and you’re anxious to say the least. You’d always lived with anxiety that you’d struggled to hide but this anxiety was often worsened when your family was involved. Your family were dramatic, toxic, chaotic and abusive. You were wondering why you were even going, especially without Stewy but you reminded yourself that you had boundaries. It would be okay. Connor would be there and Stewy would come, he would just be running late. 

You wouldn’t even say anything about how it was a surprise birthday party, you’d leave that to Roman, he would definitely bring it up. Everybody knew that Logan absolutely hated surprises but Marcia had chosen to ignore it. You knew it wouldn’t go well, there was always some drama and you were even more anxious because Stewy wouldn’t be there for the bulk of it. You’d just finished feeding your daughter Matilda and now your focus was turned to getting your three-year-old son, Jonathan,  ready. 

Jonathan’s giggle can now be heard from the bedroom, clearly coming from the ensuite. You walk into the large ensuite to see Jonathan sitting on the vanity swinging his legs as Stewy styles his hair. You immediately stop to watch the sweet scene, it calms the anxiety that had been growing as a dreadful ball in the pit of your stomach.  

Jonathan is looking up at his father in awe with a large smile covering his whole face. Stewy’s face is pure concentration as his focus is solely on his son’s curls he’s easily putting into a style similar to his. You lean against the doorway and watch them, not saying a word as you don’t want to disturb this moment. 

“Does it look just like yours?” Jonathan asks excitedly. 

Stewy chuckles and while he still has concentration etched into every handsome feature he has a giant smile that’s directed at Jonathan. “Almost.” 

You were absolutely in love with Stewy and were just in as much awe of him as you were when you first fell. His playful, teasing nature really shined when he was with his children. They were in mutual adoration of each other. But Stewy wasn’t a manchild, he could be serious. He was intelligent and always quick-witted, he was also soft and patient, the latter being a necessary skill for having spent so long around Roys. 

“Mommy!” Jonathan calls out as he finally notices you. You walk over to where he sits. Stewy looks over his shoulder at you with a large smile and then his focus returns back to Jonathan. 

“Hi, darling.” You smile at Jonathan, placing a hand gently on his back to ensure he’s securely sitting on the vanity as you give him a little tickle on the side. He giggles which makes Stewy’s smile grow. You lean over to softly kiss Stewy on the cheek, you feel his smile widen as his handsome beard tickles your lips and you let out a small laugh at that. 

“You’re distracting me, baby.” He teases. 

“I’m sorry, can’t let that happen now can we?” 

“Sweetie-” Stewy winks at Jonathan and points at the young boy's dark curls as he continues. “This is my life’s work, my genes- these genes,  Jonathan’s my masterpiece.” You giggle at that and Jonathan looks up at you both laughing. 

“I want my hair like Dad’s!” Jonathan says as he points up, you nod. You love Stewy’s hair and it made your heart melt that Jonathan had inherited Stewy’s curls. Jonathan’s hair was normally tidy but wasn’t styled back how Stewy’s usually was, your precious son normally had looser, freer curls and you made a mental note to request Stewy doing the same more often. 

“So not a silly mohawk?” You ask Jonathan moving your hands to gesture what you mean. Stewy chuckles at that and Jonathan looks up at you. 

“No!” He says while giggling. 

“That’s what I thought, I was just checking sweetie.” You say with a smile looking down at him. He smiles while Stewy finishes his hair. Stewy then picks him up, turning him around so Jonathan can look into the mirror. 

“Happy with that buddy? You look pretty suave.” Stewy says with a smile. Jonathan excitedly nods and says thank you a few times. You can’t help but laugh at the young boy’s joy and how loving Stewy is with him, the complete opposite of what you had with your father. 

Stewy then puts Jonathan down and Jonathan hugs you and walks off. Stewy smiles at you and you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and lean your head against his chest. 

“Our genes really made a masterpiece.” Stewy says as he presses his lips against yours softly, you lean into the kiss more and it naturally deepens it. You bite his lip a little and moan into his mouth, his hands then come to wrap firmly around the back of your waist, pressing you into him more. 

“Thank you for doing that.” You say as you put a hand through Stewy’s soft hair. “He looks pretty happy and-”

“Of course. But don’t thank me for being a parent, remember?” Stewy says as he presses another kiss to your forehead. 

“I know. You should have your hair- curls out more often, you know?” 

“Oh really?” 

“Yes, it’s a formal request.” You say pressing a soft kiss to his jaw. 

“Noted, I’ll raise that at the next hair board meeting.” 

“I’d appreciate it.” You say with a smile, then your eyes scan to Stewy’s watch. “I guess it’s probably time for you to head off now sweetie.” You tilt your head to give his cheek another kiss. 

“I’ll get there as soon as I can okay? It’ll be fine- Connor will be there and I love you, so there’s that as well.” Stewy says kissing your lips another time. 

“I love you too.” You say giving him one last kiss before he heads off to work and you leave with the kids to survive another Roy family function. 

**************************

Roman hums the Jaws theme song as he walks into the bathroom. 

“Uh yes, I thought I smelt shit.” Roman’s voice cuts through as he sees you holding Matilda in one arm with a freshly changed diaper. 

“Maybe it’s because you just walked into a bathroom?” 

“Yeah, one with a baby that just took a shit.” Roman smirks. 

“Rome.” You say tiredly. 

He rolls his eyes with a small smirk and walks over, giving you a quick one-armed hug as he leans down to peck a kiss on Matilda’s forehead, he sniffs her head for a moment. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but he loved doing that, it was calming and he’d take any chance he could to do so. 

There were many things Roman wouldn’t admit, one of them being that you were secretly, probably his favourite. He wouldn’t hide it but he also wouldn’t loudly admit it in front of his father, that he genuinely loved being an uncle. Or that he found holding and sniffing his niece’s head calming. Shiv had looked down on you for embracing motherhood and it had perplexed Roman at first, he wouldn’t admit this but now he found a weird comfort in seeing you be so gentle and loving to Jonathan and Matilda. None of you had received that and while he was the Roy family court jester, he knew that he was glad that his beloved nephew and niece got that at least. 

“So, where’s Jaws at? I don’t see any stranded penthouse swimmers?” Roman quips, pleased with himself at the joke. 

“Stewy is working, he’ll come later.” You emphasise your husband’s name for the millionth time. 

Earlier in the relationship your father had called Stewy a shark, as if it was a compliment but it had just made you severely uncomfortable. Now your siblings regularly joked about it and Roman very rarely used Stewy’s name, preferring the shark moniker. You loved your brother but you were sure nothing gave him a kick like the discomfort he got out of making his siblings victims to his antics. 

“Does he not remember that there are several bathrooms here with impeccable surfaces for snorting his preferred angel dust?” Roman asks as he swipes his fingers alongside the basin, holding his finger up without a spec of dust on it as if to prove his point. 

“Rome.” You say trying to ignore the growing anxiety. 

“Right, must be some pretty good coke to fuck his memory up that much.” He proudly teases. 

“God, stop please, Rome.” You scold him as gently as possible while starting to leave the bathroom with Matilda.   

“Fine, fine, fine!” He sighs and then quickly perks up again as he asks with a smirk.“You heard about Ken?”

“Yes, of course, I did.” You knew, everyone did. You walk past Roman as you leave the bathroom to then walk back to where you’d left Jonathan with Connor. 

“And…?” 

“I’ll leave the snark to you and Shiv.” You say while cooing at Tillie, giving her your full attention. 

Roman scoffs but continues to follow you and then he sees Grace and heads over to talk to her. You let him be, glad for a bit of respite from his antics as you see Connor. Who is without a doubt, the safest space of a person in your father’s penthouse. 

“Hey, sweetie.” Connor says smiling at you. “Let me take her?” He offers softly. You nod and place your young daughter gently into his arms, he looks down smiling at her. 

“Oh she’s gorgeous, you’re so small and cute Tillie. She reminds me of you when you use to sleep as a baby. Just wow.” He looks at you and smiles. “How are you doing?” 

“I’m okay.” You scratch your eyebrow. You were so nervous about being here without Stewy “It’s just been weird, having to change my medication during pregnancy and we’ve changed it again now. It’ll take a little longer to kick in is all.” 

“Hey, it’s okay, that’s okay. You can spend more time at the ranch, yeah? With or without the kids.” He gives you a large loving smile, it’s genuine. One of the only genuine parts of today. “It’s always nice having you around, you know that right?” You smile and nod at him. You felt out of place often in your family but Connor never did that to you. 

Connor could be described in many ways, he was eccentric, to say the least, but he was also kind and loving. He’d spent most of his life being more of a father to you than Logan had and Connor was without a doubt, a better one. Your elder brother sits down with Tillie still in his arms and you pick up Jonathan. Kissing his head of soft curls that impressively resemble his father’s. You sit across from Connor with Jonathan on your lap as you both listen to him excitedly repeat what Marcia had told him about lunch and surprising his grandfather. 

“Uncle Roro!” Jonathan says excitedly as he sees Roman come over. 

“Hey Jonathan, caused any trouble yet? If Uncle Ken comes, I don’t think anyone would’ve given him a wet willy today so you need to get onto that.” Roman casually suggests to the young boy with his signature grin.

“You’re such a bad role model.” You say as you roll your eyes at your older brother, pressing another kiss to the top of Jonathan’s head as he giggles and Roman smirks as he shrugs at you. 

“At least I’m not the one that’s you know-” He mimes the act of snorting something, you all know what the insinuation is. Jonathan has no idea what’s going on and just looks at his uncle with a large innocent, smile. 

“Roman!” You practically shout as you gently place your hands over Jonathan’s eyes. Roman just starts giggling like a child which just makes the confused but happy young boy giggle as well. Connor rolls his eyes and gives Roman that gentle parent but not impressed older brother look.  

Jonathan immediately goes over to Roman who quickly picks him up. It shouldn’t have been a surprise to anyone that Roman was good with kids as he often acted like one but it still was, he and Connor were the best in your family with Jonathan. Roman had a big soft spot for his youngest nephew and Connor was a natural with all kids. But Connor’s no surprise, he was the father that Logan never was. The one you all cried to, who’d been the only one to do the fishing and camping trips that the Roy kids ever went on. 

Roman holds Jonathan for a little bit and then Jonathan comes back to you when Shiv and Tom arrive, Roman leaves to talk to them while you stay seated, bouncing your son on your knee as he keeps talking but then he gets up when he sees Marcia coming over, wanting to talk more about his grandpa’s surprise with her. You didn’t mind Marcia, you knew that wasn’t the case for all your siblings though but she was always polite with you and kind to your children. 

Connor gets up as he becomes thirsty, so you sit down on the floor with Tillie and watch her as she crawls a little around the space. You were almost always ignored by your siblings at these family events, Connor would consistently talk to you but that was because you were both outsiders and it was not in his nature to be cruel, it wasn’t in his nature but to be anything but kind to you. 

Other than that, there would normally be some teasing from Roman, which you’d already endured so it was safe to say you’d probably hit the quota for Roy sibling interactions for the day. If Kendall came there would possibly be a brief chat, probably a question asking where Stewy was, you wouldn’t expect much conversation from him with everything going on. Lastly, Shiv had not acknowledged you. But that was nothing new. It was typical, during lunch she’d maybe say something pointed that sub in for a form of acknowledgement but that would be it. 

Tillie looks up at you and starts laughing as you play a little game of peek-a-boo. You can’t help but feel soothed when seeing her chubby cheeks crease with her large smile and the big brown eyes that match Stewy’s shine at you. You then hear Marcia telling everyone to get into their places for your father’s surprise. You pick Tillie up and stand behind Connor holding her, giving her a few kisses as you sway with her. 

Tillie laughs when Logan comes through with the cousin that you haven’t seen or heard of in years. Your father acknowledges Connor first and your heart breaks when you see Connor’s face fall when Logan completely ignores his gift and moves his attention to Shiv. 

“Oh, hello darling.” Logan says somewhat softer than his usual, naturally irritated tone as his sight turns to you, looking down briefly at Matilda who you’re still holding. He gives you both a quick hug. 

“Happy birthday Dad.” 

“Where’s Stewy?” He questions as he looks at you pulling back from the hug, his voice more serious. 

“He’s working-” You begin to say before your father cuts you off again. 

“Is he coming?” 

“Yes. He’s just running a bit late with work. Sorry, Dad.” 

“No, it’s ah-fine. It’s fine Porce.” He says before Kendall then comes into the penthouse grabbing everyone’s attention. 

They start talking business again so you go back to where you were before and Tillie crawls around while Jonathan eagerly follows his younger sister, sweetly talking to her. After a few minutes, your father calls out that he wants to chat with all of his children, and you feel your heartbeat quicken at that. You look over at your siblings who start heading over to the room, Connor looks at you expectantly waiting for you to join them. 

“I need to go and feed Matilda so that I can sit with Jonathan when lunch is ready. Sorry. Just update me later or send a text.” You answer, your opinion wouldn’t matter, it would go how it always does, whatever Kendall, Roman and Shiv wanted. Connor and Kendall nod and head in, Shiv rolls her eyes at your excuse. You decide to head off before Roman has the chance to make an inappropriate comment. 

Marcia had been kind enough to have quickly put some equipment into the penthouse to make these functions a bit easier. One of the spare rooms now had a cot in it for Tillie and a good chair for you to feed her in. You make your way to this room carrying Tillie and Jonathan following behind. You feed Tillie while Jonathan sits at the desk and draws. Eventually, the youngest of your children falls asleep after being fed and you put her into the cot. 

You head to the dining room with Jonathan, holding his small hand. Connor comes over to check in which you appreciate and you end up sitting next to him at the table with Jonathan on your lap. The conversation goes how it always does. You notice that something seems wrong with Kendall though. You look at Connor and he whispers in your ear what had been revealed during the private conversation of your father with your siblings that you had missed. You sigh at the revelation and feel the ball of dread coming back to haunt you at that. It was only going to get more tense. 

About halfway through lunch Stewy finally comes. 

He immediately makes eye contact with you and smiles, which you gladly return. He leans down to greet Marcia and kiss her on the cheek, Marcia and Stewy had always genuinely gotten along. Maybe it was another reason why Shiv didn’t like Marcia, she was polite with Tom but genuinely got along well with Rava and Stewy. He then stands by your chair, with a hand on your shoulder, he rubs a few circles comfortingly there as he presses a kiss to the top of your head and then one to Jonathan’s as well. 

“Well, look who decided to show up. Where the fuck have you been?” Logan directs at Stewy. Stewy flashes Logan a large smile and dryly chuckles as he nods. You sigh out as 

“Happy birthday Sir Roy. Sorry about that, you know how it-” 

“Right.” Logan says immediately cutting Stewy off as he narrows his eyes a little at your husband. 

You feel yourself freeze up a little at your father’s acknowledgement of Stewy. There’s always a looming intensity when in your father’s presence and even if you were in one of his houses, around your siblings when Logan wasn’t around it was still a shadow hiding the sunlight of freedom and comfort. 

But the intensity of your world of a father feels more engulfing right now. You look up at Stewy who has a smirk on his face as he looks at Logan. Your father doesn’t look impressed but he doesn’t say anything more. 

Your father had a strong disdain for pretty much all of his children’s partners, Grace was like a mild version of Rome in terms of humour and personality, and your father had always made it abundantly clear that he thought something was wrong with Roman. Rava and Logan embodied what the other thought was disturbing, Logan had a way of believing that Kendall and Rava’s marital situation and every issue was her fault and that applied to everything relating to Sophie and Iverson and you knew for a fact she was a good, present, patient and loving mother and had embodied that as a partner with Kendall as well.  

Shiv was the golden child, the favourite. It made sense with that in mind that your father had never approved of any partner she’d had, he openly viewed Tom as beneath Shiv. Logan seemed to go between amused and irritated at Tom’s incessant desire to be liked and to gain Logan’s approval. 

Your father also had a complicated history regarding his opinion of Stewy. Stewy’s place in the world made your father view him as still not an equal but not anywhere near as beneath you all as he did with Tom. Logan had initially somewhat approved of the union, he felt that with Stewy’s personality, career and work ethic, it would balance out and protect your timid nature. Your father had always viewed you as extremely fragile, hence the nickname Porcelain and Porce. 

But as time went on he had somewhat soured on your beloved husband, this was due to a few different factors that your father was open about. Stewy was a great networker, and would rarely turn down a chance to talk about work or find out work tea from others but he had viewed Waystar as a family matter that didn’t concern him, he didn’t jump at the chance to try and win your father over or do business favours for him which Logan disliked. 

Logan had problematic opinions of Iverson and Sophie because of their parentage, he had a weird relationship with your children. He was kinder to them than what you remember him ever being with you and your siblings but you’d read that that wasn’t rare in abusive families. They were favoured as your nieces and nephews as your children had been biological but Logan did have issues with them being Hosseinis and you practically being one as well. As a healthier life and family unit had been created with Stewy and you were around your father less your father blamed that on Stewy. He’d gone from thinking Stewy was a good, protective force to that he was a shark that had manipulated his sweet, mild-mannered daughter. 

You softly squeeze Stewy’s hand as his gaze looks down at you, he squeezes your hand back softly and sits down next to you. Roman hums the Jaws theme as Stewy does but you all completely ignore him as Roman then whispers something to Shiv.  Jonathan moves from your lap and climbs over to Stewy’s with a few giggles. You laugh a little and tuck a looser curl that was moved during the commotion to behind Jonathan’s ear, Connor notices and smiles. 

Stewy wraps one arm around Jonathan and bounces him on his knee and his free hand holds your hand that’s on the table. 

“Where’s Tillie?” Stewy asks. 

“Sleeping upstairs!” Jonathan quickly says and Stewy nods, as he looks around the room. His gaze lands on Kendall and he notices something is off, he then looks at you to see if you’ve noticed. 

You give Stewy a small nod and then lean over, placing a hand on his shoulder as you quietly whisper into his ear what Connor had revealed to you earlier in the meal. Stewy’s doe eyes widen slightly but noticeably and his dark eyebrows quickly raise and then he glances over at Kendall and your father for a second. Jonathan then begins to talk to Stewy who attentively listens as Jonathan tells him about his day so far and how the surprise went. 

You hear somebody say something about the game and you want to leave now. It was never fun, everyone was cruelly competitive and even layered up, and the weather wasn’t super pleasant. It wouldn’t be good for 2 young children. You quickly excuse yourself with the excuse that you’re going to check on Matilda. Stewy watches you carefully and Marcia gives you a tight-lipped smile as you walk off. 

Stewy looks at Connor who nods and then Stewy leaves to follow you. But is then questioned by Kendall who goes over to him and both men leave the dining room. 

“She knows about the papers right? Did she tell you about the papers?” Kendall immediately asks as soon as they’re out of earshot.

“Are you okay man?” Stewy stops walking as he asks Kendall. 

“Something’s off-he’s unwell, acting strange.” 

“Are you okay?” 

“You know Roy etiquette, don’t ask questions like that on what should’ve been Coronation Day. So?” 

“Connor told her, she mentioned it a few minutes ago.” 

“She won’t sign, will she? I know she likes Marcy but she won’t sign, right? You can talk her out of it?” Kendall asks looking at him. 

“We haven’t talked about it yet. Any advice I give will be Kendall-less by the way.” Stewy quickly responds and Kendall rolls his eyes at that. 

“So what, my sister’s tamed you into the good little husband that only barks when asked to or something?” Kendall asks. 

“Oh yes, The Taming of the Stew. The best modern Shakespeare adaptation to date. Your sister should get a Tony for that one or something.” Stewy smugly quips back, as he bites for a second at the top of his thumbnail before walking off to the spare room where Marcia keeps the cot. Kendall scoffs and walks back. 

“Hey, you okay?” Stewy asks after closing the door behind him and walking over so that he can wrap his arms around you as you both stand by the cot watching your perfect little daughter sleep, completely undisturbed and untouched by the drama downstairs. 

“If you think of a convincing reason for us to not go to the game and we leave. I’ll marry you.” You say softly and place your arms over his, making him hold you a bit tighter. 

“If memory serves correctly, we’re already married. Happily, I believe.” He chuckles a little and presses a kiss to your shoulder. “So we’re already overachieving frankly.”

“Well, I’ll marry you again. Let you put another bun in the oven-” You start as you sway a little in his arms looking at Tillie. 

“Don’t make dangerous promises like that here.” Stewy says, pressing a few kisses to the side of your neck and you let out a small laugh at how his beard tickles. “They were starting to get ready to leave, I’m sure it won’t be too much of a big deal. Especially if your dad thinks you’ll sign Marcy on.” 

“Does he think that? Did he say something else?” You anxiously ask turning to face Stewy now. 

“Probably. You and Marcia get on better than the others. Kendall asked me to talk you out of it.” You do feel sorry for Kendall over what happened today but you roll your eyes at that and rub your brow. 

“Yeah, I think we should go.” Stewy nods at that and you carefully lift Tillie out of the cot and start to get her ready before the three of you head downstairs. 

“Porce, are you not coming?” Logan asks as he sees the three of you. 

“No, sorry Dad. Tillie had a bug not too long ago and with the wind and that I don’t want to risk it again even with her being bundled up. I think I’m getting a headache anyway Dad. I’m sorry.” 

Logan looks at you, his unimpressed gaze softens a little but not by much. You’d had chronic headaches throughout your life, especially your adolescence and you don’t use it as an excuse often so he takes it a bit seriously. 

“Well-” He starts. 

“It was really nice to see you, Dad, the kids had fun. I’ll bring them back later when maybe things are a bit more quiet later in the week?” You ask, somewhat anxiously.

He’s giving you that look like you are fragile. He has a particular softness for you and Shiv because of his misogyny and the feminity you share, even if Shiv tries to adopt masculinity and fit into a never-ending game of trying to win the patriarchy. But you know he views you as weaker. 

“Of course. You heard about the papers?” 

“Yes, Dad. We’ll look at them when we have a bit more time and my head’s better. Okay?” He nods and then his gaze moves to Stewy. Logan begins to believe that the headache is something for Stewy’s sake and not because you genuinely don’t want to spend another minute here. 

“Show up late and fuck off early, the family man?” Logan asks Stewy, who just sighs. It’s not the first time Stewy has been on the receiving end of Logan’s disdain and he knows it won’t be the last. “Your commitment to your work is admirable, it’s great- sure! Except when it’s fucking over my daughter and family.” 

His voice isn’t super loud but the tone is strong and commanding. Connor looks over as he holds Jonathan, walking back a bit so Jonathan won’t hear anything. Shiv’s eyes widen and she watches the scene play out like an eagle waiting to swoop on its prey. 

“Logan you know that’s not the-” Stewy says in his best diplomatic son-in-law voice. 

“Oh, fu-” 

“Dad, please?” You timidly cut in, your widened, doe-eyed gaze flicking between him and Stewy. You look sad and Logan can see it. 

Shiv rolls her eyes at this, of course, you cut in with the timid, youngest daughter bullshit she thinks.  Logan grunts and nods, ignoring Stewy as he tells you to rest up. You get Jonathan from Connor and say some succinct and painfully tense goodbyes to the rest of your family as you and Stewy leave. 

As you’re in the car with Stewy and your children, you rest your head against his shoulder and sigh. The tight ball of dreadful anxiety dissipates with each mere mile away from that penthouse you get. Stewy rubs your arm softly and places a few gentle kisses on the top of your head.  

“So, is afternoon naptime, practice babymaking number 3 time as well? 2 for 1 type of deal?” Stewy whispers with a small smile as he gives you another gentle kiss. You let out a little laugh at that and roll your eyes playfully. 

[king-magppi]

Yellow Guy's Age

DHMIS Fandom, we need to talk about the infantilization of Yellow Guy. It's Papyrus from Undertale all over again😭😭 seriously. Anyways, I'm tired of seeing a GROWN MAN get depicted as a child by this fandom (I'm not talking about AUs or whatever, I'm talking about in casual fanart and the like). There is plenty of evidence from the show to support that Yellow Guy is, in fact, an adult, and I will list some out for you here:

In episode 1 (Jobs), Yellow Guy falls in love and marries Claire (the wrench person) in the span of the 40 years of working for Peterson's and Son's and Friends Bits and Parts Limited! This would be weird if Yellow Guy had met her as a child and grew up to marry her, wouldn't it? "But all that never even happened!" Yes, it did, because if we're using that logic, nothing from ANY of the other episodes happened because they always end up right back at home with no memory of the day prior regardless! Stay with me here!

In episode 3 (Family), Yellow Guy is seen as old enough by Todney and Lily to be forced into the role of the "Mother" and successfully order the Grolton's Chicken family tub. When the three get home, they proceed to try and open the packet of Chuddle Dollops again. During this scene, Red Guy refers to Yellow Guy as his "brother" rather than a son or any other family member.

In episode 4 (Friendship), it is revealed that Yellow Guy has a maiden name (it's "Rat Eyes" apparently), implying he has been married and/or divorced! Also, this next point might be a stretch which is why it isn't the main one for this bullet, but the first thing Yellow Guy wants to do when they finally get on the computer is "Do Gambling".

In episode 6 (Electricity), Lesley refers to Yellow as "NOT their real son". If they DO in fact happen to be his creator/parental figure, and Roy is his father, then that makes it very well possible that Yellow is at VERY LEAST in his late 20s-30s if Lesley is between 60-70 (the actress that plays Lesley, Vivienne Soan, is 67 years old, so it's safe to assume her character is supposed to be presented as around that age range). Another bit that might be a stretch is that after getting fresh batteries, Yellow Guy is able to do taxes, and even speaks more clearly and "mature" sounding.

Yellow is never referred to as a child by the others and is treated as an equal by all members of the household. They constantly pick on each other and even get in a fistfight at the end of episode 4.

Yellow Guy's voice is deep and does not SOUND like one of a child. If he were supposed to be one, wouldn't they give him a more "childish" voice?

And now I will debunk a few arguments I've seen used against people claiming Yellow Guy being an adult:

"But he dresses in overalls!"

Roy wears overalls too. Does this make him a child? Anyone can wear overalls.

"He's child sized! He MUST be a child!"

Actually, Duck/Green is the smallest one, and they're all puppets. They're gonna be pretty small compared to Red Guy. Also, height =/= age. Remember when the smallest in the house in the Family episode was revealed to be the father? Also, if we're going by height, why isn't Duck considered a child too then?

"He's too stupid/doesn't act like an adult."

We see in episode 6 that the reason he acts the way he does is because his batteries are dying. Also "stupidity" =/= age. Half the time Red Guy and Duck are just as dumb (if not more) than Yellow Guy in their actions So I really don't get why people use this one as an argument. It also feels a bit ableist to consider "not smart" people as children.

Wow. All of this even when I've fully disregarded the Pilot episode (I did this because some of you may consider it "not canon" because it was scrapped) and the webseries. I can't believe I even had to make this post, but it had to be done or else I'd lose my head! Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

[seahorsepencils]

Further proof that the end montage is at least partially a Ted hallucination or dream: it takes place after Ted looks at the snow globe, which is likely a reference to the ending of St. Elsewhere (i.e. where it's implied the show was actually all something an autistic kid imagined while looking in a snow globe, a.k.a. the Tommy Westphall universe).

This is not to say that the whole show is in Ted's head - only what happens from when he shakes the snow globe to when he wakes up on the plane (holding the copy of How to Change Your Mind: The New Science of Psychedelics). For example:

Roy becoming the football team manager. Ted is the one who wanted Roy to be a coach in the first place, and I'm not convinced Roy would want to be a manager, or at least not so soon - this seems more like Ted is imagining someone stepping into his place.

Nate and Jamie having very positively framed moments with their dads. Both of those storylines were left in a gray area; the level of positivity in those interactions seems more a representation of what Ted wants with his father. Also, if we think of Ted as a quasi-father figure for both characters, this is another replacement narrative showing how he isn't needed.

Sam playing for the Nigerian team. We know this is a goal for him, but it's likely not something that would happen so soon. And probably something that Edwin Akufo would block from happening for the next few years. But the image supports Ted's own personal decision to identify his original country as "home" and to go back.

Trent changing the title of the book. It's not the Richmond way. It's the Lasso way; and Trent knows that more than anyone, so it's very unlikely he would take Ted's suggestion and change the title in real life. This is just Ted minimizing himself and what he was able to uniquely offer the team.

Roy starting therapy with Sharon at the football club. It seems unlikely that Sharon would settle down with a job in one place, when we've been told her tendency has been to jump from job to job. (Again, this might happen eventually, but not so soon.) The function of this scene in Ted's mind would be a further stretch of Roy becoming manager - replacing Ted in his job and then beginning a similar therapy journey with Sharon. (Also, Sharon is wearing the same shirt she wore when she first met Ted.)

The Stonehenge Beard wedding. Insane for all the reasons people have suggested, and specifically, Roy as Beard's best man. Another image of Ted being replaced by Roy.

This is not to say that some of the things can't have happened - it wouldn't be the first time the show has blurred the line between fact and reality, and "Beard After Hours" did this with some very heavy blurring. The final shot in the montage calls back to that episode, with the woman who gave Beard the pants and her partner appearing as two of the wedding guests.

I think Ted wants to stay - not only is he reading a book with the title How to Change Your Mind, but he literally asked Beard if they were making the wrong decision - giving Beard a clear opening to weigh in and say they should stay. He wanted to be convinced. But Beard, in his sleep-deprived state, shifted the focus of the conversation and made it about him leaving Ted, changing the "we" into a "me." So Ted went home by himself. But he still wants to change his mind (hopefully with some psychedelics), and deep down, he has to know that he's wrong and that everyone from Richmond loves him and wants him around. Or if he doesn't, Rebecca and Diamond Dogs are gonna show up in Kansas on her private plane a year later and ask him what the hell he's doing and when he's coming back.

[cutelootsuit]

hi im posting my silly fun idea (theory? idk) for fun here here it goes. 

i like to think that Lesley used to be like a Mr. Rogers type of character or blues clues, and yellow guy was like her blue; teaching yellow lessons about things; hence the “you’re one of my favorites” and yellows habit of talking to the viewer like a actual kids show character 

the dhmis theme currently was the theme for the version of the show that had lesley in it, hence the “him and you and me” part because it was from Lesley’s pov and she was referring to the (child) viewer 

more ideas undercut hehe

so key points, Lesley pitched the show idea to producers; this is HER show my main thought is that Lesley was one of the main characters, yellow being her little guy (not sure what to call him. hes the blue if this was blues clues) while duck and red guy were more supporting characters, popping in and out kind of like mr rogers neighborhood. Lesley would teach yellow things and the viewer (just three of them)  through songs in a more normal kids show way and duck and red guy would be there to further said lesson or plot.  I think (or my silly funny idea is) Lesley either got into some sort of (car) accident and couldn’t continue being on the show OR they took her off the show because she was getting too old, continuing her show without her and Lesley not being able to do anything about it because she signed it off. 

The show continued without her and made some changes like red guy and duck being more frequent and having the inanimate objects be more present. Here things go all down hill, characters start to change, theres less and less lessons to be taught, and its my silly funny idea that our current DHMIS is a result of burnout and a show NEEDING to be cancelled but not being cancelled. idk how Lesley watching them afar and being implied to be a master of their lives takes place in this but i like to think shes trying to take her show back in her own way, and making it a little fucked up because shes a little fucked up. 

other things i think are fun:

- roy is a prototype of yellow guy, the first one, then redesigned him to the current yellow guy

- Lesley handmade yellow guy and roy herself, somebody else made duck and red guy

-Duck and Red guy are neighbors of Lesley and yellow guy

- duck in the og show is a grouchy old guy archetype 

-red guys og character has been completely lost, being most effected by show burn out. which is the reason why hes so focused on finding where he belongs (ie family ep, and web series)

- the puppets don’t refer to to eachother by name because lesley forgot 

- Yellow guy is smart when he changes his batteries because youre SUPPOSED to change his batteries, but only lesley knew that. Yellow guy with new batteries being smart is a result of lesley teaching him so much in the OG show

- red guy longs to get out of the house because in the og show there were more sets, but again, but budget cuts and they only have limited sets. 

also heres a little drawing yay

[gemsofthegalaxy]

OKAY SO i have not read the full succ scripts back to front, ive been looking at some posted on twitter mostly around tom and greg bc. i like them. some stuff, im glad they didn't include, others, i am sad we missed.

I actually really liked the scene with Disgusting Brothers, LLC. Hilarious that Greg cannot even reference licking cunt or pussy. gayass.

i think in some ways it may be redundant, because we already know Greg is trying to cheer tom up, checking in on his eating and sleeping and such but, at the same time,

It really shows that Greg is trying to continue this dynamic that was implied to have been established between seasons that we barely got to see, mostly in s1e1, while Tom is pulling away due to Stress and not giving Greg the attention Greg has clearly come to expect from him?

Greg even says "I did this for you". There is no way you can convince me he is sleeping around for the sake of it, or because he likes it, what he likes about it is getting to hang out with Tom and being Tom's friend and having a special nickname with Tom. even if it's platonic, his best guy friend is more important to him than the women he's apparently sleeping with (again. he can't even say 'licking cunt' like sir you are an adult, you don't have to act like girls have cooties)

The one part i don't like, however... why they would make it explicit only now that Greg is actually in contact with his dad, when his only mentions before were used as a weapon against Greg because he's Gay and presumably ran off

To me, it throws so much about Greg into question and makes me feel crazy. Were were not supposed to read Greg as someone abandoned by his gay father and having issues stemming from that?

This has always been an issue, for me, with how succession treats it's side characters. Even if we don't SEE the backstory, I vastly prefer it when the storytellers HAVE one that is guiding the character's actions, and for this line to have been written, it makes me feel like Greg doesn't, or that I have wildly misunderstood the subtext/hints up until now.

Because, if Greg were actually in contact with his absent gay father, why would he not have hit him up for support earlier? And "Family whatsapp" what??? with his cousins? or with his mom and dad!?! i was under the assumption Marianne didn't talk to her presumably ex-husband. I thought we were meant to think that Greg's Dad, by virtue of being gay, was probably pushed out of the Roy family because he would besmirch their fox-news conservative rep, or that he left to slut it up once he was found out and couldn't hack it being with a Roy.

It's a small moment but, to me, it's just..... wild how it goes against everything I thought I knew about Greg.

The rest of the scene I did like, though. Licking Lots of You Know What, hehe.

[goldfish-or-smthing]

The Updated Tedependent Masterpost

Disclaimer: Same as last time! I have no problem with people who ship other things, don't ship anything, or ship Tedependent but don't want/expect it to be canon! This is just a theory... (a TED LASSO theory 😎)

Quick notes:

original post here!

Some of this stuff is new, some of it is old, some of it is my observations, and some of it is from other people... I was just getting annoyed at the old post missing stuff and wanted to have all the Tedependent evidence in one place

I’ll be updating this post if new evidence comes along 😊

PART 1 - The Evidence

Car park/similarities with Michelle

In 1x05 when Ted tells Michelle he’s ready to get divorced, he talks about how their relationship began —at school, in a parking lot. Not only did Ted and Trent visit a school on the day they began to get to know each other, but their last scene of season 2 takes place in the Richmond parking lot, which draws even more parallels between their relationship and that of Ted and Michelle. This post also illustrates some connections between the scene between Michelle and Ted and the one between Ted and Trent at the end of 3x02.

Ted’s focus on Trent

From the very first time he calls on Trent in the press room, we see Ted act differently towards Trent than the other reporters. He makes jokes with him, and Trent responds in turn. Ted also makes Trent’s daughter biscuits, which we never see him do for any other reporter and which also implies that not only has he interacted with Trent outside of work but he’s also met his daughter too, something that he doesn’t appear to do with other journalists.

Parallels between Roy/Keely and Ted/Trent

This is a list within a list! The parallels are: - Roy and Keeley have their first big romantic moment in the Richmond parking lot, which is also where Ted and Trent's last scene of season 2 is set (and connects to the Michelle parking lot speech too). - When Roy first invites Keeley on a date, they do a sort of press room roleplay thing. Not only are they just generally mirroring Ted and Trent, but Keeley literally introduces herself as "Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman", announcing herself in the exact same way that Trent usually does, even down to her joking newspaper name, which is literally.... The Independent Woman... It couldn't really be any more on the nose. - The first scene where we see Roy and Keeley begin to fall for each other is at the end of 1x03, after Roy headbutts Colin in the club and threatens everyone to stop bullying Nate, and we get Keeley and Roy nodding at each other in acknowledgement. As this is happening, Trent is reading out his article about Ted, which could be considered the first time we see Trent beginning to fall for Ted. - Roy and Keeley also have Phoebe, who's almost their pseudo-daughter in some scenes, similar to how Trent has a daughter.

Twelfth Night

In 2x07, at around 31 mins in, we get a scene with Trent going up to Ted in the pub to ask for a quote. At the beginning of this scene, right before Trent shows up, Mae says to Ted "If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it", which is the opening line to Shakespeare's romantic comedy Twelfth Night. In Twelfth Night, this line is said by Orsino, who is lamenting about a woman named Olivia, whom he loves but who doesn't love him back (I take this to be Ted and Michelle). Orsino then moves on and falls in love with Caesario, a man who is actually a woman called Viola disguised as a man. To cut a long story short, the relationship between Orsino and Viola/Caesario is considered to be a homosexual love story. Bear in mind that lines in this show are rarely said for no reason, and that this line serves no other purpose (and frankly seems a little out of place) than to hint at a romance between Ted and Trent.

Casablanca

At the beginning of the same scene, when Trent sees Ted, he says "Of all the pub joints!". This is a reference to the line "Of all the gin joints in the world, she walks into mine" from Casablanca. As well as this, episode 8 of season 3 is titled “We’ll Never Have Paris”, another reference to Casablanca (although so far some of the suspected titles have been slightly different from the actual title). Casablanca is, of course, an incredibly famous (perhaps the most famous?) romance movie, and it’s interesting to me that not only does it get referenced in a scene between Ted and Trent but it comes up again in season 3.

Also to note: Raja Casablanca is the name of the football club Edwin Akufo invites Sam to join in season 2. Because of this, some people have speculated that the episode title’s reference to Casablanca is actually meant to link back to Sam. I find this unlikely though, as the episode preceding it is titled “Ola’s”, which is the name of Sam’s restaurant, so it would be unlikely to have two Sam-centric episodes in a row.

Trent’s Date

On the same scene of season 2 (we got a LOT from that scene...), we see Trent leaving someone at the door. Many people have speculated that this is his partner or someone he’s dating, which is very likely when you consider Trent’s not-very-platonic tone and way of touching the man. An interesting detail about the man Trent was dating is that he has a moustache, much like someone else we know… 🤨🤨

Higgins

In 2x05 Higgins describes to Rebecca how the first time he met his wife, he embarrassed himself by spilling beer all over himself, and the first time Ted and Trent interact, Ted also embarrasses himself by spitting water everywhere.

Similarities between Trent and Rebecca

There are quite a few similarities between Trent and Rebecca- they’re both very icy to Ted in the beginning, are won over through food (Rebecca through the biscuits, Trent over spicy Indian food), are almost the exact same age according to the pilot script, have strangely similar hair, and the only people Ted makes biscuits for on the show are Rebecca and Trent’s daughter. As well as this, in 1x03 Ted says to Trent “Watch your back, Gay Talese there’s a new iconic profile about to be typed up by one Trent Crimm” then in 1x09 Ted says to Rebecca “Watch your back, Kate Moss there’s a new bad girl on the British modelling scene”.  I believe this is a way of twisting the expectation that Rebecca and Ted are going to end up together to have Ted end up with someone similar, but not who people expect.

Final scene of season 2

Ted’s final scene in the whole of season 2 is him with Trent, which is especially interesting as this scene is sandwiched between scenes about the other major romances on the show (the scenes go Rebecca and Sam, then Ted and Trent, then Roy and Keeley). The significance of Ted’s last scene of the whole of season 2 being with Trent can’t really be overstated. Ted Lasso is a show that loves its parallels, and it would’ve been satisfying to have both season 1 and 2 end with Ted and Rebecca having a debrief about the season in her office, but season 2 instead breaks this expectation by having the scene between Ted and Trent after this.

Trailer/last episode release dates

The trailer for season 3 was released on Valentine’s Day, which was likely a deliberate choice hinting that this season will include more romance. As well as this, the last episode airs the day before pride month, which, although less likely to be deliberate, is also an… interesting coincidence.

The Trent trailer

In the run-up to season 3, Apple TV released a sort of trailer/teaser thing on their website featuring Trent narrating the events of early season 1. This is a very strange video- it was released shortly before season 3 but doesn’t contain any new footage apart from Trent’s voiceover and a couple of shots of Trent’s desk, so it’s not really a trailer. It’s also not a summary- it doesn’t contain any information about season 2, or even the events of season 1. It’s also not spoiler-free though- it includes many shots from late season 2 that give away the plot and even has Trent sign off as “Trent Crimm, independent”. So what on earth was this video made for? And why is it displayed on the website with this photo, of all things, as the icon?

I don’t have the answers to those questions. But what I can say is that this video gives off very rom-com journalist falls for main character vibes. And seems to exist for no other reason than to have Trent wax lyrical about Ted for 3 minutes.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

In their last scene of season 2, Trent tells Ted that he doesn't know how to ride a bike, which seems to me to be a very deliberate hint that at some point in the series we’ll get him learning to ride. We know episode 6 is set in Amsterdam, aka the bike capital of the world, and during this episode the song Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head plays, which also plays during a bicycle riding scene in the movie Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. As well as this, Paul Newman and Robert Redford, who play the titular characters of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, are referenced in 3x03 and 3x04, respectively, so it would make a lot of sense for episode 6 to have a romantic bike riding scene referencing the film, definitely with Trent in and most likely with Ted there too. On top of this, the film has a lot of queer subtext, which makes it all the more interesting that it’s referenced in season 3 and most likely referenced in a scene between Ted and Trent. Thanks to @crimmcast for bringing this connection to my attention!

11:11 wishes

At the beginning of 3x02, Ted states that 11:11 is his wishing time, and then at exactly 11:11 in the episode, Ted says "Trent Crimm is writing a book about us". While I don't think Ted wished for Trent to write a book about the club since he already knew that was happening, I think that between this and Trent being in the scene where Ted first talks about his 11:11 wishing tradition, Ted’s wishes and Trent are somehow connected. Thanks to this post for pointing this out!

"Goodnight Sport"

Ted says this to Trent at the end of 3x02, and it's significant for a few reasons. Firstly, Ted gives other members of the Diamond Dogs nicknames such as "sweetheart", so this cements Trent's place as part of the group. Secondly, in the scene preceding this, they talk about how sport is an excellent metaphor, after Roy uses it as a metaphor for his relationship with Keeley. This means that, having just used sport as a metaphor for relationships and love, Ted then chooses to apply this word to Trent. Thirdly is the connection to The Great Gatsby, in which Gatsby frequently refers to Nick as “old sport”, with the relationship between Gatsby and Nick often considered to be queer coded.

La Cage aux Folles

Shortly after the first episode of season 3 aired, Apple Music released the playlist, which included all the songs in order in season 3. The final song on the playlist was I am what I am, which is the last song of Act 1 of La Cage aux Folles. La Cage is a musical about a gay couple who run a nightclub, and this song is about Albin refusing to hide his sexuality and go back into the closet. It’s the final song of the show, so if this season follows the precedent set by the previous two and closes with the same character it started with, this song will play over a scene with Ted in it. Apple has recently removed all the songs from the Ted Lasso Season 3 playlist from episodes we have yet to see, which indicates that the playlist probably includes spoilers, which this song, if it’s used as expected, definitely counts as. I’ve seen some people express worries that I am what I am will be misused and that the writers/showrunners may not understand the significance of the song to the queer community and end up using it to express Ted’s acceptance of his mental health or something similar. I severely doubt this- I don’t think a show like Ted Lasso, which so carefully puts in lines that hint at things that happen several seasons later (think the way Roy’s anger at Trent was laid out from the start of season 1), would be so blind as to overlook the cultural significance of the final song used in probably the entire show.

The songs get more romantic after Amsterdam

The songs get considerably more romantic after the Amsterdam episode, and although this could technically be for other couples on the show, it’s a CONSIDERABLE increase—over half the songs post-Amsterdam are romantic, which leads me to believe that Ted either gets into a relationship or things ramp up romantically during/after Amsterdam. Technically, this piece of evidence isn't specifically for Tedependent, but more for Ted having some sort of relationship in S3.

The infamous James Lance interview

These are some quotes from an interview James Lance did after season 2 had just finished airing. I try not to read too much into what actors say in interviews as it can easily be misinterpreted, but his insistence that there’s “something there” in the way Trent looks at Ted as well as that there is something about Trent, to do with Ted, that is yet to be revealed in season 3 is certainly intriguing. He also refuses to answer whether Trent is gay or not. I feel like this is most likely because if viewers knew about Trent’s sexuality, the Colin outing storyline would not be as compelling, as knowing for sure that Trent is gay would essentially rule out him outing Colin.

Season 3 is far more queer than the previous seasons

Season 3 is considerably more queer than the seasons before it, and not just because of the Colin storyline. Concepts like changing your name being integrated into episodes (although I hate Zava and have a lot of opinions about the Zoreaux/Van Damme storyline), Zava’s line about gender being a construct, and even Ted correcting Rebecca about West Ham in the first episode (which, although Ted is technically correcting her on using they/them as a plural pronoun and not singular, is still very queer coded) all make this season have a lot more queer undertones. As well as this, Ted has had multiple… suspicious lines this season. His comment in episode one about the “muscular thighs” of rugby players, telling Beard/Roy to “just KISS”- Ted this season so far has been far more overtly queer coded than in previous seasons.

Height as a metaphor for masculinity

This point isn’t entirely about Ted and Trent themselves, but rather an interesting thought I had about the season’s portrayal of height so far. We’ve had both Ted and Trent comment on other men’s heights—"He’s tall" and "You’re tall" respectively—as well as Nate, whose masculinity was constantly undermined throughout his time at Richmond seen struggling to reach the believe poster. Both Beard and Roy laugh at Nate’s struggles, two men who are confident in their own masculinity, but Ted and Trent do not, as men who, in Ted’s words, have had “guys underestimating me my entire life”. Neither Ted nor Trent are particularly short, and their comments about other men’s heights seem a little out of place, but they are both unconventionally masculine, and the men they direct these comments to are the opposite—Zava in particular, as a successful football player, is masculine in the most typical sense. Taking these lines as nods to Ted and Trent’s unconventional masculinity also makes them queer coded, with non-typical presentations of masculinity often synonymous with queer men.

Unconventional families

A big theme in the whole show is family, particularly found family, but this season doubles down on that with the idea of unconventional families coming up a few times in the first few episodes. Ted tells Michelle that "I love our family, no matter what it looks like", and there's also Higgins' joke about the boy and his father, which elicits a few responses about different unconventional families (gay, sperm donor). As well as this, in this interview, Jason talks about Ted finding “another way to go about living this life” and the idea of moving away from the nuclear family structure, which is all very interesting. 🤔🤔

The House in the Cerulean Sea

As I said earlier, I try not to reference things the actors/creators of the show say or do on social media too much because there’s often a big scope for misinterpreting or reading too much into things. That being said, when Jason Sudeikis likes a tweet comparing Ted Lasso to my favourite book ever, I can’t not say something about it! Because wow was that a moment. Embarrassingly, I somehow never noticed the connections between two of my favourite pieces of media until I thought more about it after seeing this tweet, but WOW, are there connections. I’ll try to give as spoiler-free a synopsis as I can… Linus Baker, the main character, is trapped in a morally dubious job that he tells himself is important and something he enjoys, until he gets sent to observe and report on an orphanage run by Arthur Parnassus, who’s very Ted-coded and shows Linus kindness that he’s never encountered before, making him think more about who he is and what he’s doing with his life. If the Trent connections aren’t already blaringly obvious, consider the way Linus starts the story as an observer and over time slowly becomes a part of the narrative. I’ll stop there because I don’t want to get carried away and give spoilers, but the whole book is SO Ted Lasso coded! (Not just in the relationship between Linus and Arthur, but literally the whole book) I really encourage everyone to read it. Also, um… did I mention? It’s basically a slow-burn queer love story between Linus and Arthur.

The Kinks

In 3x02, we get Trent entering the clubhouse to the tune of A Well Respected Man by The Kinks. Later in the show, around episode 11, Strangers plays, which is another Kinks song. This is a romantic song, and considering the Kinks are already connected to Trent through his entrance in episode 2, this song could be used for a moment between Ted and Trent.

Robert Redford

After Trent shows the coaches the security footage of Nate ripping the believe sign, Ted says to him “May a young Robert Redford portray you in a film someday”, and Trent responds, “Probably Dustin Hoffman”. This is in reference to All the President’s Men, a film about journalists uncovering the Watergate scandal, where Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman play the main two journalists of the film. The strange thing about this line is that Ted decides to compare Trent to Robert Redford, pictured here on the right, despite him clearly looking much more like Dustin Hoffman, especially with the hair. By comparing Trent to Robert Redford, Ted is essentially saying “Hey, I think this incredibly attractive man should play you in a movie!”. And if that isn’t a gay thing to say, I don’t know what is.

PART 2 - Conclusion

I’ve talked almost exclusively so far in this post about connections between specific lines and other character’s arcs/pop culture references and mostly avoided analysing the chemistry and compatibility between Ted and Trent themselves. This is because I wanted to present as solid evidence as I could, and things like romantic glances are far more subjective and up for interpretation. Something that can seem romantic to one person can be seen as completely platonic by someone else. That being said, I do think the two of them have a lot of chemistry, and their arcs fit together so well: Ted as someone who often hides his feelings and puts on a mask of positivity, and Trent as someone who can see through people’s masks and get to what they really mean. They have had a few romantic moments as well: their last scene of season 2, as well as at the end of 3x02, which both contain lingering looks, and the latter is literally overlaid with a romantic song. As well as this, they just get each other; Trent understands and responds accordingly to every single reference Ted throws at him, and he even enjoys his puns (in contrast to Sassy’s denial of Ted in which she cites his “dreadful puns”). The two of them work so well together, and it would be so beautiful to see a queer middle-aged love story, especially if it tells the story of discovering your sexuality later in life.

The idea of Nate’s downfall was hinted at in season 1 with a few lines and subtle moments, not enough for a casual viewer to notice the first time around but just enough to see it clearly laid out on a retrospective rewatch. We have a lot of season 3 left to go, and a lot of reveals are still yet to be… revealed, likely ones that will be just as surprising as Nate’s downfall was but will, like Nate’s arc, have had just as much subtle set up. Set up like referencing Shakespearian romantic comedies, or building up the idea of wishes at 11:11, or references to unconventional families, or drawing parallels between one relationship and another, or slowly introducing more queer concepts into the show, or referencing one of the most famous romantic drama movies of all time, or—you get the gist. No one can say for sure whether Tedependent will become canon, but it’s undoubtable that the setup is there. Whether the show will actually have the balls to go for it... only time will tell.

Thank you for reading :)

Before I go... In no particular order a huge thank you to @thedanceronthestreets, @crenttrimm, @garaksrod, @firefam, @mandiffe, @wrong-energy, @ishouldbedoingalright and @strawberryswords (as well as others I've probably missed!!) tysm for listening to my delusions and sharing all of your own <3

[lunar-years]

roy and jamie and keeley are so hot together and i wonder what you think the public perception of them is like? jamie and keeley were into pda (at the gala, in the locker room, jamie’s pics of keeley lmao) but keeley implied that jamie would hate the tabloids invading their privacy. do we know how long jamiekeeley were even together for?? and then there’s roy who’s super protective about keeley, hates talking to the media, and threatens the paparazzi taking pics of them in s1. idk where i’m going with this but I’m just thinking about that throwaway line in s3, where jack assumes keeley’s talking about jamie when she refers to her “famous footballer ex”. in my head i think keeley likes the grand gestures in the public eye with jamie, but she also loves the private sacred moments no one else gets to see. it’s just really interesting to imagine what they’d be like when they all get together!

Ugh they really ARE so hot together aren’t they!!

Anyway this is such a fun thing to discuss. First off, I don’t think we know for sure how long Jamie and Keeley were together :( But the entire locker room seems pretty familiar with her in episode one, and as a couple, the two of them seem fairly established to me. Not as in like, a serious way necessarily, but in a way where it’s clear they’ve got a lot of trust between them and do know one another. Also, it’s been both long enough for Jamie to have fallen in love with her and for Keeley to have had the deep impact on him that sets into motion all the growth we see in him from that point on. So in my mind, I think they were together for like, a year and a bit. Pretty much as long as Keeley and Roy were together, honestly.

I think the two of them definitely enjoy being public-facing enough to like, have online fan clubs and a big Twitter Stan presence LOL and also they’d be totally pumped to make it onto like, top power couples and best dressed lists. And they both really care about ~their brand~, reputation and image in a way Roy just doesn’t. So I do think they like attending events together and showing out on red carpets and posting pics together on their socials!!

I LOVED that line in season one about Jamie hating the tabloids getting in their business. I think it shows that he respects Keeley, that in his own way, that relationship was special and sacred to him even when it was happening, and that he does have a line between his public and personal life. And then I think we see throughout the series that Jamie is (maybe surprisingly?) actually a fairly private person. Yeah he’s got this whole very loud online presence, but that’s very different than like, him.

So yeah, I think he and Keeley enjoy being public, but only when they can curate what they’re putting out there and have it be under their control. And Jamie would’ve fully supported and endorsed Roy’s smashing that pap’s camera on his first date with Keeley, lol. All three of them I think cherish the moments the world isn’t privy to the most :)

My headcanon is that they don’t go public as a throuple until after Jamie retires, and I think they wouldn’t couple off (as in, publicize that just roykeeley or jamiekeeley are together) when it means leaving someone out, even if that person is Roy who hates the publicity anyway. It would just rub them all the wrong and they all agree they don’t need to kiss one another in public that bad. So I think they keep the romantic/relationship side of things pretty private amongst their families and close friends, BUT I also think they wouldn’t hide being close to one another. The fans definitely know how close they all are, and they don’t try to totally avoid being seen publicly hanging out, in pairs and all three. Also the online rpf shipping community is definitely rampant lmao.

And I think there’s also an element of like, they want to be available to publicly support one another. Being totally private isn’t worth it if they can’t show up for one another when it matters. Obviously, Keeley wants to be there for all their games, and Jamie and Roy want to be at her work functions and events that matter to her just as much, and at a certain point, if people are gonna talk they’re gonna talk! I think Jamie kind of helps Roy come around to this way of thinking as well. Enough to where they can be a little more open with caring about one another, and hug on the pitch maybe a bit longer than they hug anyone else, and even joke about one another in interviews (okay, that one’s mostly Jamie), and not give a shit. So everyone is aware on some level they’ve got a deep bond, but they just don’t know the exact nature of that bond and rjk aren’t forthcoming lol.

[theghostparty]

Roméo et Juliette: de la Haine à l'Amour - Redesign - 2024

If you missed part one with Roméo and Juliette, click here. Once again, long design explanation.

When designing Mercutio specifically, I turned very explicitly inwards in my belief that Mercutio is not a Montague and should not be tied to the Montagues solely. Furthermore, Mercutio has FAMILY--he's the Prince's cousin and if we want to get really semantic about it, he also has a brother, Valentine.

All this being said, in designing Mercutio, I needed to tie him to Le Prince (Escalus) and I did that mostly in dictating that these are the characters who are allowed to wear black, mostly black leather. It's a distinction that goes mostly unnoticed until its pointed out, but no other designs incorporate deep black tones. There's also this strong, olive green tone that borrows from the Montague palette and gold hardware that borrows from the Capulet palette. The Prince's family gets to straddle the line between both worlds.

I thought very texturally for the Montagues and Capulets, so in trying to give the Prince's family something distinct, I landed on this brushstroke texture to give all the leather and denim pieces a custom feeling.

In his Les Rois du Monde look (his base look--I imagine this explicitly directorial choice to have him and the Prince enter together at the top of Vérone and have Mercutio break away to join the Montagues), there is hints of this painterly texture in blue as opposed to the gold of the Prince. I wanted to feel like every alignment Mercutio has with the Montague family is an active choice on his part. I imagine him painted those swaths of blue himself. His trousers are a bleached faded, torn denim.

We see the true royal gold in Le Bal, like, I think it's just funny to think Mercutio already owned these trousers and said "Fuck it" and wore them to dress up in. His look is explicitly jester themed. It's a little bit "Earring Magic Ken Doll" coded, which delights me to no end.

This is also a good place to point out how fixated I became on closure methods in garments. In Roméo's initial design, there is a strong focus on zippers, Le Prince's jacket is held together with gold hook and eye tape at all the seams, and with Mercutio it's all about lacing.

Part of this is in reference to the explicitly gendered ideas around corsetry and playing with that in tandem with Mercutio's generally accepted queer readings. It's also an interesting metaphor to think about being bound--by duty, by honour, by friendship, by tradition--something that Mercutio is so explicitly caught in between in the Montague-Capulet feud.

His final look during Le Duel, is a take on a Jean Paul Gautier design, and is the most partisan look for Mercutio. Doffing his jacket exposes this soft satin and coutil corset top in the faintest hint of blue. A soft underbelly of allegiance that would take to stage blood SO well (and would make who ever was dressing and laundering this show absolutely hate me as a designer, but I digress).

I also think it makes him a nice mirror to Tybalt, who's overarching design element is gold chains.

Tybalt's design is wholly referential to Mark Seibert's Tybalt. Is it because I can never get that little gold and red cropped jacket out of my brain? Perhaps. But I also like to think that design for Tybalt acts as a reflection of Mercutio. The inherent softness assigned to the Capulet family's design (silks, velvets, chiffons) plays really nicely with how much machismo is implied in Tybalt's characterization.

During Vérone, we see him in a half doublet, likely of a low-pile velvet, a satin faced silk period shirt open in an absolutely impractical way, and a floral print denim trouser. I also gave him a little cuban-heeled boot. For fashion.

Tybalt is a good place to also point out that weapons are very intentionally placed in and out of scenes. Mercutio always has a dagger. Roméo leaves his behind during Aimer. Benvolio does not carry one. Tybalt has an ornately sheathed sword. There is this undercurrent of violence for these characters that is dressed up and dressed down, but persists.

In Le Bal, I really leant into the idea of chainmail for this character, in keeping with the concept of chivalry and Arthurian influences. There's a little bit of royal purple thrown in there for good measure as well as a jaw-bone mask that, at best, is foreshadowing and, at its shallowest, looks cool as hell.

During Le Duel, I wanted to strip our fighters down to exposed skin. A lot of this is to do with one of my favourite versions of this scene, Zeffirelli's 1968 Romeo and Juliet. What I love about the sequence is how it devolves from nobel duel to outright brawl--from a distance to something very close and personal. It's the type of step by step tension-building that I really enjoy: where there are moments (when they're just shouting words back at forth, when they're drawing their weapons, when Mercutio would doff his jacket, when Tybalt doffs his doublet) when the fight could have de-escalated. When they could have walked away. But of course, it's not the play if they do.

I just imagine seeing Mark Seibert and Bereczki Zoltán fight would be fun, ultimately.

And now onto Benvolio. I fixated on paring down his looks, and quite frankly, if it weren't for how much I enjoy his little twink clubbing outfit, I would have probably only given him one costume. My justification for this is that Benvolio gets to live. Ostensibly, he has a lifetime past this play of changing to do. I feel very strongly about the idea of Benvolio as a narrator, Benvolio as a passive presence that is forced to become active. He's not certain in the same way that Roméo and Mercutio are about love and hate. He literally spends a whole song stagnating and waffling on how the hell he's going to tell his cousin that his wife is dead. He runs around following their impulses, patching over their problems. I have a lot of feelings about Benvolio as a character.

He's really the softest of the Montague characters in textures: his doublet is torn and slashed denim, his shirt is some sort of billowy linen blend. He has a little bit of metal flair in the form of this thigh adornment, but really he's quite simple--and my comparison to Roméo and Mercutio, he's quite warm. That hint of magenta on Roméo is a full on feature on Benvolio.

I accept any and all slander about my choices for his Le bal look, but by god do I think it's silly and it brings me joy. Suit of armour under ripped green denim, a little navy ribbed singlet with a silver chainmail crop top over it? Lensless silver glasses frames? It makes no real sense, but I stand by my "We're sneaking into the Capulet's ball tonight with very short notice, here's what we can cobble together" reasoning.

[lux-et-astra]

analysis of what each sink scene represents - session one

i'm going to try and be as clear as possible about which scenes i'm referring to! obviously massive spoilers under the cut

do not read this yet if you haven't finished the sink

anyway thank you tash for the reams of analysis material!!!!

for reference, i'm calling fire/dry girl/narrator kate, and her victim/best friend birdie

sonic the hog: characters in this are a man (trapped), a woman, and her partner. i think we can pretty safely infer the woman as a representative of birdie - things are Happening to her in a woods. the first scene being set in the woods establishes it as an important backdrop for birdie's dreams in general, and we can see that it recurs many times. the woman finds something trapped in the woods and tries to help it - i'm hesitant to call mr sonic the hog a representative of kate, since he seems pretty passive in this scene, so i would suggest that the scene more shows how birdie's conscience and repressed feelings of guilt and helplessness when it comes to kate affect her relationships. she can't do anything to help sonic ("Oh God you’re too heavy", "He’s – he’s trapped, Roy.") however her inability to move on causes her to push others away ("This is not about us!" from the woman, "I’m going, alright!" from Roy)

too big (book interview): characters in this are a female interviewer disguisedly antagonistic towards a man. i struggled with figuring out how this one connects! in one sense it shows how a female figure talking to you who initially seems kind can turn hostile and not be what you imagined ("Please give him a very warm welcome." and "Great success!" turn into "Upsetting to hold, and far, far too big, that’s the Telegraph." and her continuing to needle him), which parallels the initial belief that "the narrator" is there to help and the realisation that she is in fact. not. not sure if it links in any other ways to kate & birdie, but there's also the suggestion of repressed memories? "MAN: Sorry, is that – is that knocking, do we –? // WOMAN: We don’t need to worry about that." the man clearly senses something is going on that he can't quite reach, but his subconscious represses this.

beany hag: characters in this are a woman seeking cleansing (literal & figurative) and a priest! i do not think the priest represents kate in this scene although the woman definitely seems to be birdie - it parallels the sonic the hog scene in that birdie's relationships seem very strained. here we can see more explicitly that it's some guilt she is hiding - the caginess over it being a red substance ("Just – uh, just some tins of red, uh…") implies physical injury/death, which is definitely what birdie thinks happened to kate. "Tell them all. Tell them what you did." suggests that she feels personal responsibility and culpability for what happened, underlined by her putting herself down ("I know, you just – he thinks I, I’m so… and, and I’m not, I’m a – a saucy, beany hag!) and her image of herself as dirty ("Yes, uh, silly mix up, I, I thought it should be dirty.") this scene builds on the feeling of guilt and how it affects her life - the woman clearly dreads getting married when she clearly doesn't feel that she's "clean" enough (possibly a theme somewhat echoed in the narrator's words? "We’ll play your bad dreams back to you, so that you can rinse them off and finally sleep clean." - she uses a lot of clean/dirty language)

birdman 1: ahhh the start of the birdman scenes. this features two men (john and jim), and discussion of the birdman! due to what we later learn about the girls' game "birdman", we get the dynamic of the birdman (scarecrow) as the hunter and the birds as the hunted. this scene plays into that a little, putting forward ideas about fear & truth ("Yeah, you can’t be scared of dreams, can ya?" followed by "Which was the dream, was it that –") john & jim seem to be the men whom birdie found after fleeing the camping trip fire, a meeting which is cut off here by the narrator ("Oh dear, it’s gone, that’s okay, don’t try and squeeze that bit out right now. Let it go, let it drip off. Here’s a secret for you. The important ones come back!") which establishes the birdman as a theme and the meeting in general as something important. the scene's primary function i think is to build fear of "the birdman" and to show how scary it is to be a bird, laying the groundwork for bird mentions to inspire fear and frame the bird-referenced people as prey/victims.

cat ashes: gotta love this one. the characters seem pretty obviously to represent birdie and kate, birdie being the speaker and kate being james tuft, the boy referenced throughout. more than anything this shows the relationship between a girl and someone more dangerous than she is, yet highlights her conflicted feelings about them and how she is still drawn to them (not necessarily based on anything at first - "I mean, we weren’t friends, really, he didn’t even notice who I… you know, why would he?") which parallels birdie's friendship with kate, someone who is clearly more dangerous than her, yet a friendship she clings onto (before the camping trip at least) - a sentiment which we see a little of later in the bath and the tent scarecrow scene. one key detail of this scene is the mention of fire - it is the very first mention of fire in the whole of the sink (for reference: outside of the narrator's speech, "dry" doesn't come up until dip day) and shows a kate-parallel as having fire in their history ("He wasn’t even gonna do it, because he couldn’t afford the train, and his car had been in that fire.") this is a point in my theory that kate had a formative & traumatic incident with fire in her childhood but more on that later! this scene has some speech from the speaker which correlates pretty directly to speech we get from the real laser gun action monologue section, which is textually closer to being a "true" recollection of birdie about kate, so it explains fairly directly birdie's feelings about kate ("I would’ve done anything. Some people, you know, they just… they have that way about them. You can’t help it." - from cat ashes, "Just for you. Just for you. And so, when you see her, for the first time, she’s leaning over to open the door, and you look at each other, and you just think… oh no. And right now, with – with her looking right at you, is the last moment you’ll, sort of, be alive. Because it – it was all a different life, after that. You were a different person now." - from sherbet)

that ended up being a Lot longer than i thought it would so i'll do each session separately rather than all together like i was going to!! anyway hope you enjoy & feel free to rant at me if you have any thoughts/think i'm wrong <33

[transmutationisms]

Sorry if this is kind of a loaded or unorganized question but I'm interested in seeing your observations: similar to how you've talked about how some viewers tried to absolve Kendall of his responsibility in the waiter's death, do you feel the scene with shiv and the threesome gets interpreted too 'sympathetically' as shiv trying to deal with her own orientation in a straight marriage instead of the more prominent power dynamics in that scene? I don't discount her as being attracted to women especially since the show plays with gender dynamics but I feel like focusing solely on that, makes her seem more powerless than how she actually is in that context.

And as you said before, Shiv is backed into corners and has less power than her brothers' due to misogyny, but coupled with some takes about her ending on the show I think this 'zero agency' interpretation is too unquestioned, not helped probably that the mainstream audience has also mostly unquestioned ideas about feminism and imperialism/capitalism (and also related to that, and on a more personal note, I find the meta posts people make about Shiv coupled with Andrea Dworkin excerpts a bit silly)

yeah i talked a bit about shiv's threesome here; to me it's very clearly supposed to recall other examples on the show of homoeroticism and homosexual desire that are only able to be expressed through power-bound relationships: tom and greg, roman and the personal trainer, the way kendall talks to lawrence. the violence and imbalance of these relationships (employer–employee; more to the point, capitalist–labourer) are the necessary preconditions for homosexuality to exist. it's the explicitly erotic extension of how logan can talk about 'fucking' someone in a business sense, even though the thought of actual homosexuality disgusts him.

specifically, shiv pursuing a yacht employee is supposed to recall the cruises scandal, which we know involved covering up sexual violence and the deaths of sex workers and migrant workers, and is pretty heavily implied to have also involved the 'wolf pack' engaging in outright sex tourism. shiv chooses a yacht employee specifically for this threesome because, like the others in the upper echelons of power at waystar, she sees this woman as disposable and as a tool for shiv to use as she wishes. the woman's 'consent' becomes ambiguous with this framing, and with the fact that the show excludes her perspective to indicate how shiv and tom take into account their own desires but not her agency. to them, she's a body, to be used for their sexual gratification; again, this deliberately echoes the way the cruises scandal involved the use, violence against, and then discarding of vulnerable bodies: those of dancers, sex workers, migrant workers, &c.

so, there is homosexual subtext in this scene, the same way there's homosexual subtext between roman and the personal trainer. and in both of these cases, the expression of homosexual desire is specifically enabled by these relationships being made structurally continuous with the larger patterns of violence and exploitation that the show discusses: capitalist exploitation, racism, misogyny, and so forth. homosexuality can exist if it's an articulation of violence; to analyse these scenes without reference to the violence of the social forms is missing their central function in the story.

in regards to the second half of your question: i really haven't spent enough time with dworkin's work to have a confident opinion on it, besides disliking the obvious issues (her anti-porn stance, transmisogyny / bioessentialism, &c). what i can say about shiv the character is that, whilst the show does portray her as being subjected to misogyny in her family and in the company, it also portrays her as benefitting from capitalist patriarchy insofar as she can leverage her wealth and whiteness. a lot of analysis of shiv fails to take this second part into account, or to contextualise the roys generally as capitalists (not just 'rich people') who are trying to consolidate a 21st-century empire. also, i don't think a framework like dworkin's is really capable of accounting for the way patriarchy deals with, eg, roman's effeminacy; the figure of the 'sissy' and the functioning of transmisogyny are actually, i would argue, critical to understanding how gender functions for the roys, waystar, and capitalism writ large.

[bloodyproudpotterhead]

That whole reddit fiasco is seriously condescending and dismissive it gives me the ick. So I’m gonna write issues that I had with that finale.

Many of the things that he said just doesn’t make sense. The defense for Roy & Jamie weird behavior is “men are dumb” and “Keeley doesn’t need anyone”. You think we don’t know that Keeley doesn’t need anyone to feel complete? WE DO! The show never implied that she has problems being alone anyway. Also, you can’t fit the complexity of feminism and girlhood into one “girlboss” shape. That’s just reductive. The moment I read this, I knew that that part of storyline is written by men.

Another problem: Defending Jane behavior. Stalking your boyfriend’s friend? Shredding your boyfriend passport?? And to dismiss them as ‘quirky behavior’??? To me, that sounds like giving a pass to toxic, abusive relationships. 

Another one: To leave the ending of Ted & Michelle relationship as ambiguous? BIG NO. To even entertain the idea gives a bad taste in my mouth. This is the woman that begged him to sign the divorce paper, for christ’s sake. And they never built of the idea of them getting back together. They even introduce Dr. Jacob into the story. Was that truly necessary? Was the point to show that Michelle needs to be in another relationship to see Ted for who he really is? 

Also: Ted wasn’t at the wedding? Because he’s at Henry’s practice?? What even was that. You cannot actually tell me that they think this through. What, your kid can skip practice for 1 day to attend your best friend’s wedding?

Let’s even go to the boat guy: You cannot tell me this is the ending they plan for Rebecca from the start. If it did, why not build that narrative instead wasting your time introducing unnecessary new characters? Let us get to know the man better so we know that Rebecca will be taken care of by a man who truly knows her. 

Another issue: Henry. When did we ever see him actually missing his father? Because i feel like I missed that. Even that part of the story was told through other character, Dorothy, and not Henry himself. Why not have a scene where the kid express this himself? Even when he had problems at home, he can solve it himself (the bully story). 

Second to last: Ted himself. I don’t mind if their plan from the start was for him to have a Mary Poppins-like journey. What I had problems with is the way they build that theme. They’re too focusing on symbolism, they never truly build the narrative itself. If Ted was supposed to go back to Kansas from the start, why not show him what life he had and going to have there. This was never at any point shown or even hinted at. Also, Mary Poppins, unlike Ted, didn’t leave her hometown with a partner whose love for her has expired. They began Ted’s arc with showing him that his marriage is practically over that he needs to move an ocean away from her. That’s just saying to me that Ted desperately needs a new start (which they clearly displayed multiple times).

Lastly: The editing and the baiting. There are so many intentional edits and camera works and parallels that are meant to teased if not blatantly directed towards Ted & Rebecca. Why zoom in on the matchbook? The tiny soldiers?? Them talking at the hallway??? I can go on and on on this alone. Even to the opening scene of the finale. Just for shits and giggles for audiences who root for the two main leads? Honestly, that to me just felt cruel. Even if their intention was for them to be platonic soulmate, their words not mine, they never really addressed any of the elephant in the room anyway. The call, September 1991. So all I hear is them saying stuff and not following up on that. ALSO, to tease the idea of romcom MULTIPLE TIMES both on and off the show, even referring many times to Nora Ephron, only to laugh at your audience for believing in good old romance felt truly disrespectful to the late director. And as a long time fan of hers, I won’t let that slide. 

My point is: You can’t just patch bad writing with callbacks while ignoring a huge chunk of the character arcs you’ve built. That’s such a disservice to the beloved characters so many people have grown to love. 

And to say we take it personally? Excuse me, when your audience take your work personally, you should take it as a compliment because that means they connect with your work. So much for a show that preaches about being kind, I guess.

Anyway, I always feel sad and embarrassed when writers have to defend their decisions to their own audience. And that is what they/he did. You can elaborate on what you think happen post-finale to your audience, or even explain your intention, but when a big crowd of your audience question it, maybe you should take a look at the way you frame your story before you point fingers at them.