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sundaysundaes · 4 years

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Started With A Kiss

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Actor AU, Smut, Fluff, Humor | NC-17 | 10K

Summary: Rookie actor, Lee Haechan, desperately wants to get the lead role in the highly anticipated upcoming TV drama. He’s sure he has what it takes to fill the part. Acting as a hero? No problem. Pretending to overcome his traumatic experience? Consider it done. A bed scene? Easy—wait, no. That might be a problem. But he should be fine as long as he gets to rehearse, right?

Warnings: protected sex, oral sex, crude humor, swearing, literally 10k of sex with very little plot, a lot of playful banters between sassy!hyuck and equally sassy!Y/N

Wrote this for my love Kira @flopim who’s been having a tough time lately. I hope this will cheer you up bb! ❤️

“I want you to make love to me.”

Standing there, still dressed in your bright pink pajamas with your hair resembling a bird’s nest, you can only blink once, twice, and several times more because surely, your ears are playing tricks on you. There’s no way that your best friend, the cutely annoying and annoyingly cute, Lee Haechan—the one who’s been practically glued to your skin like a conjoined twin of yours for the last two years—is asking you to make love to him.

Surely, this is not what you’d expected to see when you opened the door to your apartment, ready to bark at whoever it was who dared to disturb your beauty sleep (since it is seven in the morning on a Sunday), only to see him standing in his blue ripped jeans and black Michael Jackson shirt with his cheeks flushed, his bag hanging loosely on his shoulder, brown eyes desperately begging for your attention.

And you’re most definitely sure that he’s not asking you to sleep with him when you still have drool on the corner of your mouth and a terrible morning breath (in your defense, you have brushed your teeth but that was, like, six hours ago).

But when seconds have passed and Haechan still looks like he badly needs to hear an answer, you have very little options but to ask, “You want me to do what to who now?”

Catching a sniff of your mighty dragon’s breath, he promptly takes a step back, scrunching his nose while frantically covering half of his face with the script he’s been holding. “Eew, God, what is that smell?” Ignoring your glare, he repeats his words, voice muffled by the papers. “I said, I want you to make love to me.”

“What—”

“Damn it, woman, just brush your teeth and let me in!”

When he’s stomping his feet while whining that loudly—loud enough for your fucking landlord to hear, along with everybody else in the building (including your cute neighbor, Jaehyun, oh dear God, no), he doesn’t give you any other choice but to invite him in, does he?

You step away from the door, flatly muttering, “Please, come in, why don’t you.” Haechan doesn’t waste any second waiting, making sure to run and stay as far away as possible from you so he won’t inhale the poisonous air that’s tainted with your breath again.

You roll your eyes. Dramatic little shit. But just to be on the safe side, you make your way to the bathroom.

***

The scalding hot shower you just took was comforting but not enough to wash your entire drowsiness away. You’re in dire need of your caffeine intake. “Would you like some coffee, my king?” You ask between a yawn, hands finding their way to the coffee jar on your kitchen counter.

Haechan throws his bag to the floor, body sinking into the comfort of your couch. “With milk, please.”

"I’m kidding.”

“Well, I’m not.” He throws one of those cheeky grins that you adore—no, wait, you hate—as he settles his legs on your coffee table. “Less sugar but more milk. I’m still growing.”

“Growing what, your balls?” You pour him a cup of coffee as requested, yes, because to balance his demonic behavior, you have to act like the perfect angel that you are. “Since you don’t have any?”

“You mean, like your boyfriend?” Haechan retorts before he gasps dramatically, his palm going to his mouth. “Oh, I’m sorry, you don’t have a boyfriend.”

You hover above him from behind the couch, bringing two mugs filled with sizzling hot coffee. “Want to repeat that?” You tip your mug just a little bit until it nearly spills on his forehead.

Haechan winces, attempting to grin. “I’m sorry, I love you, please don’t ruin my face. It’s the only thing that’s good about me.”

“It surely is.”

“Yah, what does that mean?”

“Take it as a compliment.”

Sitting next to him, you sip your coffee and curse silently when the liquid burns your tongue. “Okay, so what about this ‘make love to me’ thing you said earlier? Please tell me it’s just a figure of speech or something.”

“I wish.” He drags his legs away from the table so he can lay his cup down because apparently, he means business. “Okay, I know you’re gonna kill me after you hear—”

“After? I’m about to kill you now, actually.” You scoff. “Don’t you remember what we’ve agreed on? You cannot bother me when I’m still too sleepy to smack you in the head, Haechannie.”

“When did we ever—” He stops. “Why are you going to smack me in the head?”

“‘Cause you’ll say something stupid.”

“Who says I’m gonna say something stupid?”

“You always say something stupid. You’re saying something stupid now!”

“It’s not stupid.” He sighs exasperatedly but when your flat, degrading stare comes into view, it morphs into a groan. “Well, not that stupid. I’ve thought about this—really thought about it—and I can’t find anyone else to do this but you since you’re the only girl I’m friends with. I mean, I can pick random girls, I suppose—you know how popular I am. They just can’t stop talking about me. My hair, my eyes—”

“—your tiny dick.”

“But I don’t want to break any girl’s heart by doing something that’s gonna make them feel like I’m just using them to get a job, you know? I know I’m hot but these good looks aren’t meant to trample people’s hearts.”

“And you don’t care how I’m gonna feel?”

He has the decency to act like he’s thinking about it, but then, “No, not really.”

“Thanks.”

“Look, I really need your help.” He takes it as further as holding your hand between his, puckering his pouty lips, and blinking his eyes in a way that’s cute enough to leave you in daze so you pretend like you’re about to vomit your insides to cover it up.

Okay, so there’s one thing—one little thing that nobody knows—that you’re too ashamed to admit and that is the fact that you have a massive crush on this boy who sits in front of you with his socks unmatched. Well, no, not massive. It used to be massive during the first few weeks you knew him. How could you not? Haechan was so cute, you wanted to turn him into a doll so you could carry him around in your backpack and squish his cheeks whenever you feel like it. Sure, he’s not all jawlines and dimples like that neighbor of yours (Jung Jaehyun was probably sculpted by God himself ), but Haechan has his own charms. His devilish smirk, his loud, contagious laughter, his naughty eyebrow raise, and his lips—God, his beautiful plump lips, the way they look so pouty and soft. Honestly, you can write a whole essay about his attractive features (not that you haven’t already).

You knew you were crazy for him when the antics he did annoyed the hell out of his friends but to you, he was just plain adorable. And you realized you were pretty much fucked-up when Jeno said, “Fucking Lee Donghyuck said he forgot his wallet and robbed me this morning. Who the fuck orders a freakin’ wagyu steak for breakfast?!” and the only thing you could think of was how nice it was to go on a date with him and how your first kiss with him was going to be like (poor Jeno, though).

It’s not that you love him or anything. It’s mostly physical, nothing more—at least for now anyway. It’s not your fault that he’s so fucking pretty that he ends up showing every now and then in your fantasy, doing indescribable naughty things that will definitely make Mark splash some holy water on your face if he knew what was going on in your head.

Fortunately, now that you’ve been friends with him for two years, that massive crush you had has turned into something normal, something you can easily hide. And can be forgotten even, whenever another cute guy—like Na Jaemin, for example—takes you out on a date or two. It’s easier to breathe these days.

“Hello? Are you there?” Haechan snaps his fingers, waking you up from your reverie. “What’s your answer? Do you want to make love to me or not?”

‘It’s easier to breathe these days?’ More like fucking kill me.

“Can you stop saying that?” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “You’re giving me headaches.” Or a heart attack, more accurately. “Assume I said yes. Don’t you think it’s gonna get a little weird between us?”

“What is so weird about it?” He throws his hands in the air, exhausted and impatient. “It’s just gonna be two friends, pretending to be in love with each other, hugging, kissing, touching, and having sweet, tender sex.” Realization falls upon him and you resist the urge to exhale loudly. “Yeah, okay, so it is a little weird, but it should be fine, right? It’s just acting. It’s not like you have any feelings for me, do you?”

If by feelings you mean picturing you naked in my head with your mouth sucking on my neck, then yeah, I do have feelings for you. Plenty of that. But on the outside, you say, “Eew, God, no.”

Haechan squints his eyes at your response. “Can’t say I’m not hurt with the way you said it, but eew, God, no to you too. Well, if that’s the case then I’m sure we’ll be fine,” he says, sipping his coffee, and retracts his mouth as soon as the flavor hits his tongue. “What the hell is this?! Did you spit on my coffee or something?”

You didn’t but for your amusement, you throw him a sly grin. “A little.” It’s satisfying to see him looking like he’s about to pass out. “I’m still worried how it’s gonna affect our friendship later on though.”

He simply shrugs. “Meh. We’re not really that close to begin with anyway.” He takes another sip of his coffee by accident and nearly vomits for real. “Fucking hell—take this shit out of my face.”

“I'm still not sure about this, Haechannie.”

“Look, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you, we’re just going to pretend! Acting!” He exclaims as if that was the most normal thing a friend could ask another friend. “And you’re gonna be acting out a love scene with someone as hot as me. Consider yourself lucky.”

“Consider yourself dead.”

“Damn it, my audition is in two days and I really want to get this role!” He’s whining, tugging at your hand like a baby as he practically throws himself at your feet, graveling for your mercy. “You’re the only one who can help me with this. How can I act properly if I don’t have enough experience to perform a freaking bed scene?!”

“I don’t think actors who have to play dead have enough experience of, you know, being dead.”

“Excellent point.” Haechan stares at you blankly, unimpressed. “Do you hear yourself when you talk?”

“Do you?”

A few seconds passed by in silence with the two of you exchanging sinister glares until he finally surrenders with a prominent pout on his face. “Fine, if you don’t want to.” Haechan exhales dramatically, his shoulders sagging and when you don’t respond, he sighs again only louder this time. “I guess, I have to force Mark to make out with me. Again.” He sneaks a glance to see your reaction. “And have my face slapped with a Bible. Again.”

You wince at the thought. “How did you force him, exactly?”

“Just…” He timidly scratches his nose. “Kinda attacked him in his sleep.”

You nod in understanding even when it’s the most idiotic thing you’ve ever heard. “Well, maybe he would’ve been fine with it if you had taken him out for a nice dinner before that.”

Haechan smiles a little at your words, and even a little glimpse of it is contagious enough to make your own spread wider on your face. Small chuckles resonate through the air and he playfully bumps his shoulder against yours, his palm resting on your knuckles.

“On a more serious note,” Haechan says, “I know that asking you to rehearse a bed scene with me is too much and way out of line. But I swear, I’m not gonna touch you if you’re so uncomfortable with it. Won’t even hold your hand, I promise.” Then he notices he’s still holding your hand from earlier. He drops it immediately, clearing his throat. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” It’s more than fine. His hand seems to fit yours in a way that nobody ever does but there’s no way you’re gonna tell him that. “So, we’re just gonna be practicing lines?”

“Exactly.” He rubs his nape, suddenly a bit bashful. “Well, I was hoping to at least kiss you—just to, you know, know how it’d feel like.”

“You’ve never kissed before?”

“I have, obviously.” He rolls his eyes, disgusted at your question. “I’m not a fucking virgin if that’s what you’re assuming.”

“Chill, don’t get your panties in a twist. Nah, I know you’re not a virgin from how many times you’ve had sex with yourself.”

“Hey!”

“But then, why do you need to practice? Can’t you just go straight to your castmates, and kiss the bejeezus out of them?”

Donghyuck runs a hand through his face. “It’s… I’ve never done it for a role,” he professes, faint blush blooming on his cheeks, “And the scene is supposed to be intimate and I’ve never… You know…”

You gesture at him to clarify more with your hands. “You’ve never…?”

“You know…” The color on his face turns brighter. “T-the thing.”

“What thing? Never made-out in public? Never had sex outdoor?” You act clueless just because you’re liking his reaction. “Never had a finger stuck in your ass? What? Please do enlighten me.”

“I’ve never been in love, you witch!” Haechan is adorable when he’s fuming. Nostrils blaring, eyebrows knitting together in an angry frown, scarlet cheeks all puffed out. He looks like a terribly pissed Pomeranian.

Man, if I could just take a picture. “Oh, okay. So have you had your finger stuck in your ass?”

“I swear to God—”

“Kidding. I know you have.” But even when Haechan is nearly ripping your cheeks apart from your face, your giggles are never-ending. “So, you’re nervous?” You snort, raising an eyebrow. “You, the obnoxious, desperate-for-attention Lee Haechan, are nervous?”

“Will you help me out or not?!”

You pretend like you’re contemplating about it when truth is, every part of your body and mind is just screaming what the heck are you waiting for? He’s asking you to rehearse a bed scene—a. bed. scene! And he said he wanted to kiss you, for God’s sake! So, really, what else is there to say but “Okay.”

Haechan widens his eyes. “Okay?”

“Okay.” You try your best to appear nonchalant. “But you’ll owe me a favor. A huge one.”

“Anything,” he instantly agrees, “As long as I’m not dead, you have my words.”

You’re not yet sure what you’re planning to ask him but seeing his enthusiasm, you know it’s going to be good. “Great. So, umm, do you want to do it now or…?”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Here?”

“Wherever you want.”

“Man, you’re giving me too much power. I should’ve agreed to this way sooner.” You can practically feel your face splitting in half from how wide you’re grinning. “My room, then? I mean, a bed scene requires… a bed, right?”

Haechan laughs and even after two years, it still sounds like your most favorite thing in the world. “No, it doesn’t necessarily require a bed but sure.” He jumps out from the couch, taking you by the hand, and only by that, you can already feel your heart thumping a tad faster. But the second he walks into your room, he makes a face. “Why does it smell like something died in here?”

“Because something did die. Your dignity.”

The tickling fight doesn’t occur very often between you and Lee Haechan but once it starts, it means war.

***

“Okay, so…” Haechan hands you the script, already opened to show you a page filled with dialogues and short narratives. He scoots closer on the bed, his knee a few inches away from grazing yours as they dangle from the edge. “Just from the top of the page, here.” He points with his finger and you do a quick scan, trying to get a picture of the intimate scene you’re going to do. “So, a quick summary. Your character, Aeri, has been in love with my character, Donghyun. In the earlier scene, you’ve confessed your love to me but I rejected you because we’ve been friends for so long and I didn’t want to ruin what we have. But then, later on, some things happened and I ended up catching feelings for you and this is the part where I’m gonna be telling you how I really feel and then we start kissing and—”

“Then we have sex,” you utter in dismay, but butterflies are erupting from your stomach due to the anticipation.

“No,” Haechan corrects you, “We make love.”

“Is there any difference?”

“There are more feelings involved, not just out of sheer passion. It’s slower. Tender. Intimate.” And when he notices you raising a questioning brow at him, he sighs. “That thing you did with Jaemin? Fucking like bunnies? The opposite of that.”

You mock him by imitating his sigh exaggeratedly and receiving a flick on the nose in return. “Is it just me or is the script pretty lousy?”

He nods. “But they’ll pay you good money for this.”

“I thought the reason you became an actor was to create art not money.”

“When I’m rich, maybe. Right now, I gotta pay for my rent. And apparently, Jeno keeps chasing my ass, forcing me to pay him back. It was just a wagyu steak for fuck’s sake.” He grumbles to himself, momentarily distracted. “Anyway,” he cracks his neck, “I’ve memorized my lines. Wanna give it a go?”

“Okay, let’s try. I guess I’ll be fine if it’s just kissing. Even if it’s with you.” When in reality you’re only agreeing to this because it’s with him.

Haechan’s eyes gleam brighter, ears practically perking up like an excited puppy. “Really?”

“You’re that excited at the thought of kissing me?” You play smug but you could practically hear your heartbeat blasting through your ears. “What else have you been thinking about me?”

“I’m not excited at the thought of kissing you, dumbass,” he spits back, the spark in his eyes vanishes in an instant. “I’m excited that finally I can practice kissing scenes with someone who’s actually willing to do it, and not, you know, like with the back of my hand or something.”

“You…” Failing to hold back a grin, you burst out laughing. “You made out with your hand?”

It’s funny that even when his skin is golden as if it was kissed by the sun, it still shows vividly on his face whenever he blushes. “I didn’t mean it literally—”

“I can’t believe you made out with your hand.”

“Would you just—” He nearly suffocates you with your pillow but you quickly retaliate by kicking him in the stomach.

Tears are prickling at the corner of your eyes. “Man, that mental image of yours making out with your hand will live in my mind rent-free for as long as I live.” When you still can’t stop laughing, Haechan is practically baring his teeth. “Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s get this going. If it gets too uncomfortable for me, I’ll stop.”

“Of course.”

“At any time I want.”

“Your call.” He nods in agreement with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen him do; it almost doesn’t seem like him.

“Good,” you say. “Now, I’ve never acted once in my life so if you laugh at me, I will sneak into your room at night and pour hot coffee on your computer.”

There’s fear fleeting through his eyes but he gives another nod. “Deal.”

“All right…” You take a deep breath, willing your heart to stop hammering against your ribcages, and for once, focus more on the script instead of the shape of his pretty, pretty mouth. “What are you doing here?” You follow the script, voice a little bit shaky as you’re still embarrassed with everything you’re doing. Haechan closes his eyes and you’re about to throw a joke to tease him about actor Haechan coming alive but when he opens them and gazes at you, you sit still, frozen.

“I wanted to see you,” he says, voice so delicate, it startles you. He’s so serious about this that you don’t find the strength within you to tease him like how you usually do. Somehow, the little gestures he makes, the changes in his expression alter the air along with the tension in the room. Suddenly, it feels like you’re standing next to him under the spotlight, hundreds of pairs of eyes following your every movement.

“It’s—” You swallow your breath, tongue lays heavy in your mouth. “It's pouring outside, why are you—”

“I love you,” he vocalizes, his eyes gentle and heartbroken. His voice suddenly sounds a pitch lower, reverberating through the air until it sends goosebumps to the tiny hairs on your nape. He waits for your reply and you have to blink twice to slap yourself back to reality.

“W-what?”

“I’m sorry it took me this long to realize, but I do. I’m in love with you, hopelessly so.” He reaches out to cup your cheek, his thumb caressing your cheekbone. Though he has pretty hands, his fingertips are not as soft as you had imagined them to be, but they feel better, feel real. His warmth is unfamiliar to your skin but it feels more pleasant than anything that ever touches you. “Maybe you’re unaware of this, but it kills me to know that I’ve hurt you because I simply couldn’t be brave enough to accept my feelings. The reason why I didn’t want us to be together was because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, not knowing that we could be something more.”

Haechan’s lines fit your situation so much that you wish he wasn’t acting. It’s amazing how he’s changing into an entirely different persona and yet, it feels so natural as if he has been that person all along. Your breathing gets heavier as you take a brief look at the script, searching for your lines. “This feels unreal…”

“Do you still love me?” Haechan lifts your face by the chin, his touch is paper-thin.

You wet your lips, head swirling. “But Donghyun—”

“Do you still love me?” He repeats, emphasizing with his tone. His eyes are peering into yours and you wonder maybe the quote eyes deeper than the sea refers to his gaze. “Or is it too late for me?” His thumb drifts to your lip, caressing your bottom one, your lip balm sticking to his skin.

“I do,” you reply. He’s so pretty. You’ve never taken a glance longer than a few seconds at his close-up face, but now that you’re in this close proximity, you can finally witness the two tiny moles on his cheek, the beautiful shape of his dark eyes, the delicate curve of his lips… “I do love you, Donghyuck.”

A few seconds of silence hangs in the air when Haechan stops, his eyebrows furrowing. “Umm—it’s Donghyun, actually.”

Fuck! “Right!” You nearly leap out of your bed, face aflame. “Donghyun! Of course! I don’t know why I said that. Donghyuck is your name, I know that—” Fuck, fuck, fuck, just fucking kill me. “Sorry, umm—nervous.”

Fortunately for you, Haechan buys your bluff. “Rookie mistake,” he chuckles and you exaggeratedly roll your eyes to play along. “Okay, let’s start over. Do you still love me?”

“I do,” you respond too rigidly, making him glance away so he won’t break into laughter. “I do love you, Donghyun. Dong-Hyun.”

“Good,” he improvises, as it’s not written in the script. He has a tiny smile on his face and you like to think that it’s just him doing a terrible job at hiding his amusement. But when he swats your bangs out of your eyes, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, he seems like he’s seeing the most beautiful thing he has ever seen in his whole life. The adoration in his eyes, his loving gaze—they are so vivid, they nearly consume you. “Because I don’t think I can resist this any longer…”

You’re lost in his eyes, lost in his touch, lost in his warmth. It’s until Haechan nudges his head slightly, indicating you to wake up, you’ve got a line to say, that you jolt, eyes hurriedly going down to the script, seeking your lines. “Umm—“ You flinch. You sound so jittery, it’s terrible. “R-resist what…?”

But Haechan doesn’t pay a mind that you just stuttered from saying two words. He doesn’t ask you to start over. Instead, he presses his forehead against yours, his breath mingling in the air and you can taste the scent of sandalwood and summer. Combined with his soft breathing, you’re almost stuck in a haze, just reeling in the feeling of how this man is now closer to you than he has ever been in the past two years and it’s better than anything you’ve ever imagined.

“Resist this,” he whispers and before you can look down to check whether you have more lines to say, Haechan dips his head, his lips brushing against yours, ever so faintly at first but when you gasp, he presses harder, framing your cheeks with both hands before he moves one down to your waist. Unlike his fingertips, his lips are soft—softer than silk or the cotton candy he once bought you. But it’s not the way they feel or the way he tastes that distract you the most. It’s the way he moves them, parting his lips slightly so he can blend with yours, your lower lip fits perfectly between his plump ones. It’s the way he sighs, so contentedly, as if kissing you was everything he ever wanted.

You close your eyes, hands reaching up to his collar, wanting to feel him more, wanting to touch him—

Haechan breaks away, placing both hands on your shoulders. “How was it?”

You’ve never had someone splash cold water on your face but you figure it might feel something like this. Your voice grows hoarse when you speak. “How was what?”

“The kiss!” Haechan’s eyes are filled with concern, analyzing your expression. “Was it romantic enough? Tender enough? Did it properly convey the desperation and longing my character feels for yours?”

You knew this was a bad idea. You fucking knew it. So, why are you still hurt when he acts like he feels exactly nothing by that kiss? This is just an acting lesson for him. You should have been prepared.

“It’s good,” you answer, averting your gaze and hiding your eyes behind your bangs. Your heart is still running a thousand miles an hour but somehow, it doesn’t feel as pleasant as before. “So, next scene—”

“Wait, are you okay?” Haechan asks, bending slightly to catch a glimpse of your face. “Was it too much? Do you want to stop?”

Truth is, you’re conflicted. You’re going to catch feelings—you most likely already are. But Haechan only treats you as a friend and nothing more, and this is the only chance you have to be this close to him. The temptation of continuing the kiss, to just hold him close for one more time, stands stronger than anything else so you say, “No. I promised you I’d help.”

He’s still unsure, eyes glinting in concern. “It’s okay if you want to stop, I—”

“Let’s just do the damn scene, Donghyuck.”

Haechan freezes on his seat, eyes searching yours as you now have the bravery to look at his face. Knowing you came on too strong, you try to ease it off with a smile. “I’m fine, don’t worry. It’s just my first time doing this—acting, I mean. Can we try again?”

He spends another few seconds trying to decipher the true meaning behind your smile but eventually nods his head at your command. He drags his finger back to the script. “Then, umm… Let’s start from here?”

You don’t even look at the page when you give affirmation. “Go.”

Haechan takes a moment to prepare himself and when your eyes meet each other again, he’s a different person once more. “The reason why I didn’t want us to be together was because I didn’t want to ruin what we have, not knowing that we could be something more.” His voice is so soothing, you almost forget that deep down you’re immensely upset knowing that the kiss didn’t have the same effects on him.

This time, when he frames your face with his palm, you lean into his touch, eyes never leaving his. “This feels unreal,” you say and for a second—just for a split second—you notice Haechan breaking out of character, surprised by the gentle expression on your face. Because you’re not acting out his script, you’re acting out on your feelings. It’s your only chance to be honest with him without forcing him to respond. So you pour all these feelings you have for him out in the open—ones that started from a mere physical attraction to something more as his presence grew bigger in your life, you’re acting out each and every one of them.

“Do…” He inhales sharply, trying to focus. “Do you still love me?” He’s doing the same thing as before, placing his thumb and index finger on your chin but before he can say his lines, you see how his eyes fall on your lips.

And you kiss him. You kiss him with everything you have, hands going to his face, fingers slipping between his strands, and Haechan gasps against your mouth, his fingers curling around your wrist. You know he’s about to push you away so you quickly murmur, “I do,” against his lips, breath stuttering, “I do love you.”

When you take his bottom lip between yours, teeth grazing against his supple skin, Haechan lets out an involuntary moan at the back of his throat. The butterflies in your stomach come alive, pumping a rush of adrenaline through your veins and suddenly, you’re brave enough to glide your tongue across his lip. His hold tightens around your wrist but instead of pushing you away, he tugs you closer and you fall into his chest, hands breaking free from his grip to wind around his neck. Your fingertips are scraping against his nape before they move upward to yank at the roots of his hair. “Fuck,” he breathes out, almost inaudibly, as if he didn’t mean to let the word slip from his mouth and it makes your heart jumps straight out of your chest. The second he responds properly, Haechan kisses like fire, all passion and urgency, and you really don’t mind being consumed by his flames.

His hands are on your waist, pulling you closer and closer until you’re almost sitting on his lap before he jolts awake, pushing you away so abruptly, you almost fall from the bed.

“I’m—We—” he stammers, looking everywhere but your eyes. His cheeks are flushed, his lips bruised and red from your kisses. “I think we should—I gotta go—“

He stands up from the bed like the sheets are catching on fire, picking his script from the floor and gathering all his belongings at once before he runs toward the door. He turns on his heels, wanting to say something to fix the goddamn situation, but when his eyes land on yours, his words vanish without a trace.

“I—I’ll call you later,” he finally says and doesn’t wait for your response. The front door closes with a thud.

And then silence comes to answer.

What just happened?

Your heart is thundering inside your chest, you’re starting to feel nauseous. What have I done? You keep asking over and over. You thought everything was going to be fine. He responded to your kiss earlier, didn’t he? You were sure you didn’t imagine the whole thing. But now he’s gone and you’re not sure whether he’s gonna come back as the same Haechan—the old, bratty but caring Lee Haechan. The one who snickers loudly when you fall face-first on the ground but always steals secret glances at you to make sure you're not hurt. The one who makes jokes about your love life but never forgets to show up at your apartment with a thoughtful gift right at the minute you turn a year older.

Things are not just gonna get awkward, they’re ruined.

When nearly half an hour has passed by and you’re still left alone in your apartment with no signs of him coming back, you’re about to go insane. You can’t stay still, walking back and forth your living room with the tip of your thumb between your teeth.

Should I chase after him and explain that it was just me trying to improvise? You hesitate with your hand lingering on the doorknob. But with your knees nearly giving up under your weight, you decide to stay put. It will probably just gonna make it worse. He’ll see through my lies, he always does.

You’re straying away to the kitchen, hands placed on the counter. You can feel your head spinning, stomach somersaulting. Damn it, why did I have to do that?! Why couldn’t I just—

The front door slams opened and Haechan barges in with his hair messy, ruffled by the wind, and his bangs sticking to his temple. Stunned, you stand still on your ground. Your heart is the only one that’s moving beyond control. His eyes scan your apartment until they land on yours and for an instant, everything seems to fade away.

“Fuck it,” he says, dropping his bag to the ground and making his way towards you in such a hurry, he nearly trips over his feet. “You’re not that good of an actor to be faking it.” Before you have the chance to even take a breath, Haechan’s lips are smashing against yours.

“Hae—” Haechan’s kiss is insane. So forceful that you can barely keep up, taking every bit of air directly from your lungs. He has you backed against the kitchen counter, the marbled edge digging into your skin. His hands frame your face, sliding against your cheek until they cup the backsides of your neck, his thumbs resting against your ears. You curl your fingers around his wrist, gasping, “Wait—”

He pulls away, lifting your face so you can’t bring your gaze anywhere else. “You like me?” His eyes are just as intense, begging for answers. “Please tell me I’m not imagining this.”

But behind that passion, his confidence is wavering. You can tell by his quivering breath, the little tremble running through his fingertips, and at that, you’re drowning in relief. You don’t think he’s that good of an actor to be faking this too.

“I do,” you admit, heart pounding so loudly that you can barely hear your own voice. “I like—”

His mouth is on yours again and it feels like he’s kissing you in a hundred different places at once. “Jesus Christ, why have you kept quiet about this for so long?” he says, tasting your breath and skin at the same time. “Two fucking years. We wasted two fucking years.”

The words this isn’t happening endlessly run through your head but all your senses scream that Haechan is really here, in your arms, his nails clawing against your shirt and there’s nothing left you want from this world.

When you reciprocate to him properly, your palms sliding up his chest, over his shoulder, until your arms circle his neck, Haechan sighs in content. His kisses grow slower—more relaxed—but deeper, his tongue peeking out shyly at first but not for long. He still tastes faintly like the coffee you made and something else entirely different. Something pleasant that’s just exactly how you’ve fantasized him to be, if not more.

He pulls away to catch his breath with his eyes still focusing on your lips, thumb rubbing your lower one. “Does this feel weird to you?” He whispers, his temple pressing against yours.

You’re intoxicated by his sweet scent though you’re not sure whether it’s the smell of his shampoo, his cologne, or just him altogether. “No,” and as soon as the word comes out, his lips are chasing after yours once more.

“Good, ‘cause I don’t think I can stop.” He’s breathing heavily against your mouth as you are against his. With his fingers twisted in your hair, making a messy ponytail out of it, Haechan peppers open-mouthed kisses on your neck, tongue pressing against your pulsating vein and a whimper escapes your mouth.

Your dreams, your fantasies—they all fall pale in comparison to reality. When you vocalize his name, it almost sounds like a plead and Haechan slants his mouth back on yours again, giving you another taste as he is not satisfied with yours just yet. “Your lips taste amazing,” he breathes out and it’s so quiet, it seems like he’s intending to say the words in his head and not with his mouth. But as his words fall on your ears, they send tingles down your spine.

“So do yours,” you reply, attempting to make him blush in return but if he does, he doesn’t show much. “Never pegged you as a man who wears lip balm.”

You can feel his smirk directly with your skin. “I’m not wearing any.”

“You’re not?” You lightly giggle, swiping your tongue across his lower lip. “Then your lips do taste amazing.”

Haechan’s hand is slipping underneath your shirt, fingers hovering above your bra. “Guess there are still a lot of things you don’t know about me, huh?”

“I’ve got a hunch you’re about to teach me?”

“Only if you’re eager to learn.”

The kiss becomes heavier that you’re lost for words, entirely consumed by his passion, until he breaks away, muttering, “Off, off, off, off, off,” as he struggles to tear the fabric away from your body. You titter at his desperation, raising both hands to help him out of his misery. The second it’s off, he lifts you by the waist and places you down on the counter.

“I’m amazed you could lift me,” you coo, admiring the sight of his lean stomach as he pulls his shirt over his head. His silver necklace hangs loosely around his neck and you hook a finger around it to yank him back to you.

He doesn’t seem to be able to detach his lips from yours for too long, especially when you keep sneaking glances at his. So when he speaks again, his every word is painted directly to your skin. “It wasn’t easy.” He settles between your thighs, mouth latching against your collarbone. “You weigh a ton.”

“Yeah?” You bite your lip, holding back a moan as he sucks bruises on your neck, the edge of his fingers trailing over the seam of your bra. “Then you must be so strong.”

“I am, haven’t you noticed?” Haechan pulls away just to showcase a mischievous grin. “I work out, you know.”

You blurt out laughing. It’s not solely because of the mental image of Lee Haechan—a full-time gamer, Lee Haechan—doing push-ups seems so funny to you. It’s more about the way he wiggles his eyebrow, trying to be sexy about it when you know he’s the weakest one in your group. Flustered at your reaction, he flicks your nose. “What is so funny?”

“I’m sorry,” you apologize though it doesn’t seem that much sincere with the way you’re still giggling at him. “It’s just that an hour ago we were two friends making fun of each other and now we’re here, in this position. I don’t know, it just feels surreal to me.”

An adorable pout blooms on his face. “I thought you said this didn’t feel weird.”

“No, it’s perfect. I want this.” You wrap the end of his necklace twice around your index finger. “I want you. It’s just… I’ve been imagining this to happen for such a long time and now that it’s happening, I’m feeling a lot of things at once.” You place a reassuring kiss on his temple. “I’m nervous.” This time landing one on his cheek. “I’m relieved.” When your lips hover above his, you notice him parting his own slightly in anticipation. “And it feels so good, I don’t ever want to stop. Even if that means we can’t go back to being friends.”

Haechan can’t form a response as you don’t let him, your mouth swallowing the tiny moans he emits. “We’ll talk about that later,” he hastily replies, “I still haven’t had enough of you yet.”

Without warning, he lifts you off the counter, making you yelp and wrap your legs around his waist for support. “Haechannie!” With you holding onto him, he takes a step forward, ignoring your call. “Where are you taking me—"

“Wait, no, back pain, back pain.” Both of you nearly tumble down to the ground from how he’s harshly placing you back to your feet, wincing at the ache erupting from the strained muscles in his spine. He’s groaning in pain, massaging his back with both hands. “Fuck, you’re really heavy!”

“That’s no way to talk to a lady.” You throw your slipper at him, missing his head just a few inches, laughing all the way. “What exactly were you trying to do?”

“I was trying to move us to the couch.”

“All you had to do was ask.”

“I was trying to be sexy.” He juts out his lower lip, and it takes all control of your body to not squeeze his cheeks from how adorable he looks.

“Honey, you are sexy, believe me, but you’re also weak as fuck. Consider hitting the gym for real next time and then carry me.”

“Shut up,” he sighs, holding out a hand for you to take. “To the couch, please? And maybe a massage after this ‘cause my back is killing me.”

Shaking your head in amusement, you take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his and drag him over to the couch. He’s in the middle of asking, “Do you want me to be on top or—” when you push him down and straddle his lap without warning, legs tangling around his hips. “Oh, okay.”

You run a hand through his hair, pushing them back so you can witness the glow in his eyes. “You look sexier with your hair pushed back.” You love the way he stares at you, eyes half-lidded painted with lust and desire. And combined with your commentary, he now has his cheek tinted with red. “Do you have a problem with me being on top?”

His eyes quickly run down to the place where your denim shorts are riding up your thighs, your zipper pressing against his groin. With a noticeable gulp, he stutters out, “N-no.”

You smile, patting his cheek. “Good.”

The kiss starts slow as you focus more on moving your hands down his body. Haechan shivers a little when your palm is pressing against his bare chest, sliding down to his navel. When you pull back, raising a questioning brow at his reaction, he bashfully says, “Your hand’s cold,” looking like a nervous little boy who’s a stark contrast to how he usually behaves.

He’s so cute.

“Well, I know a way to warm you up.” You smirk, almost cringing when you hear your own words but Haechan seems to like it.

“Oooh,” he coos, grinning against your lips. “Are you offering what I think you’re offering?”

“I don’t know.” You kiss your way down from his jawline to his chest, pushing yourself off his lap so you can kneel on the floor, your fingers unbuckling his belt. “What do you think I’m offering?”

Haechan’s eyes are glowing with anticipation. He curves his fingers around the edge of his seat, wetting his lip nervously when you pull his zipper down. You release him from his boxer, stroking him to life and he sinks his nails further into the couch. A train of expletives breaks free from his mouth but he’s so quiet, you can only hear his ragged breathing.

But by the time you run your thumb over his slit, your hot breath hitting his sensitive skin, Haechan melts into a whimpering mess. “Please don’t tease,” he begs.

“I haven’t even started, Haechannie.” And he looks like he’s about to say something but it only turns into a mewl when you press a kiss to his tip. “You’re so cute,” you comment, and he shivers when the vibration of your voice meets his skin.

Haechan tries to act composed. “Of course I’m cute, it’s—”

You cut his line short by darting out your tongue, giving kitten licks at the side, smiling satisfyingly when his eyes meet yours. As you give him a little suck around his tip, he throws his head back, his lower lip between his teeth. “I—I said don’t tease.”

“I’m not teasing you.” But you are. How can you not? He looks so fucking cute. You’ve never really enjoyed giving head before, especially when your opponent gets rough and ends up pushing too deep until you gag. But with Haechan, you feel like you can do this for hours. He’s so nervous and shy, doesn’t even dare to place his hand on your hair, and his reaction to every bit of your action is honest even when his words aren’t.

“Here.” You take one of his hands, moving it to your head. “You can use me as much as you want.”

“Use—” he crumbles at your choice of words. When you suddenly envelop him with your mouth, moving from the tip to the base in one quick motion, Haechan instinctively grabs a handful of your hair, flinching. “Goddamn, why are you so fucking hot?”

You giggle, sliding his cock out of your mouth with an obscene pop. “Thanks.”

“No, I mean your mouth. It’s so fucking warm.”

“So, you’re saying,” you dip your tongue into his slit, eyes seductively peering into his. “I’m not hot?”

“You’re—Fuck, fuck—” Haechan seethes, hips buckling when you bob your head down again, tongue pressing against his veins. Shivers run through his fingertips when he slips them between your locks, pushing your fringe back to have a good look at your face. You catch a glimpse of him, his lips unconsciously moving to form words that you can’t hear. So pretty, he seems to say, and the thought of it makes your stomach lurch in delight. Taking him completely in your mouth, you hollow your cheeks, swallowing around him. He tightens his hold around your hair, cheeks flushed and you expect him to hold you in place so he can thrust against your mouth but what he does is pull you away. “Stop, stop, stop, stop.”

Wiping a string of saliva away with the back of your hand, you ask with a frown. “Something’s wrong?”

Haechan hides his reddening face behind his fingers, quietly answering, “I was about to come.”

You hold back a grin. With a nonchalant hum, you dip your head down again, this time engulfing him until he hits the back of your throat.

“Jesus Christ.” His sanity is deteriorating, he can feel it.

“Don’t bring Lord’s name when I have your dick in my mouth, Haechannie. Mark would kill you if he knew.”

“Fuck Mark. Come here.” He rushes forward, forcibly pulling you up with both hands clamping your arms. When you follow his order, settling back down on top of his lap, he confesses with his lips grazing against the shell of your ear. “I really won’t last long if you keep doing that.”

Despite your previous teasing and confidence, you squirm inside his arms, feeling warmth spreading from your chest to your cheek. “So I have these effects on you?”

He’s almost growling when he retorts, “You don’t even know.” Haechan pushes your bra strap until it falls off your shoulder, teeth marking your supple skin until you hiss in both pain and pleasure. He presses a softer kiss to soothe away the bruise. “Sorry, I… You’re gonna need to cover it up tomorrow.”

“It’s fine.” You stroke his cheek, tracing the tiny mole on his jawline. “Seems like you have a biting kink.”

He sheepishly chuckles, “I don’t know. But if you let me, I’d love to do that again.”

Something about him saying it in the most sincere way possible, almost too formal even, makes you crave more for him and everything he does. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want with me, Lee Donghyuck.”

Haechan swallows hard, barely has the bravery to look at you in the face after hearing your words and his real name tumbling out of your mouth. His fingers are now on the hem of your shorts, trembling a little bit. “Umm—may I?”

Helping him further, you stand on your knees, unclasping your bra first to his surprise and pulling your denim shorts and panties down to your thighs. Haechan watches with his eyes wide open, mouth parted in awe as he commits every bit of your curve and movement into memory. It feels so thrilling to be this wanted, to be ravished by his eyes, until you begin to struggle to push your clothing away from your legs.

“Need some help?” He asks, lips pursing as he tries to hide a grin.

You exhale loudly, detaching yourself from him. “Let me just—” You jump off his lap, standing back with your feet on the ground, and kicking the clothing away with annoyance—why in the world did you have to wear shorts this tight—and slap him in the chest when he’s chuckling at the sight.

“Maybe you should stop trying to be sexy too,” Haechan snickers.

“Shut up.” You crawl back into his lap. “Go back to staring dumbly at me like before. I’m naked.”

“I wasn’t staring like tha—oh,” he inhales sharply as you grind your heat against his cock, amazed at how warm you are despite your cold palms. The sensation of skin meeting skin feels much more different. There’s really no going back this time. Somehow, it feels dangerous, as if you’re doing something forbidden and it makes your skin crawl with excitement.

And by the look on his face, seems like he feels the same way.

“Lost for words?” You taunt him with a smirk, hands on his chest. “That’s new.” His glare is menacing but it falters away the second you rub your arousal against his.

His head falls to his shoulder, eyes tightly shut. “God, baby…”

There it is again. The funny feeling in your stomach. “Baby?” You simper though your heart is palpitating like crazy. “We’re moving on to giving each other pet names now?”

If he can blush any harder than this, he probably might but with the way you’re grinding shamelessly on his cock, letting him get a glimpse of how wet and warm you are, he’s all maxed-out.

His earlobe lays between your teeth when you whisper, “Shall we put it in?”

Haechan’s nails are sinking into the skin of your hips, both to hold you in place so you’ll stop torturing him and to press you down harder on his crotch. “I…” He’s so distracted, he can’t even think. The way the side of his length is pressing against your folds is pushing every little bit of self-control he has to the back of his head.

“Haechannie?” You giggle, moving your hips. “I kinda asked you a question here.”

“Yes, fuck, yes, please.” Haechan tries his very best to not sound that desperate for your touch but he is that desperate. “Wait—aren’t we—shouldn’t I wear a condom first?”

You blink, halting your movement. “You brought a condom with you?”

He nods as he leans forward, fingers searching frantically at the pocket of his jeans that hang low on his knees. “Here.”

“Why do you have a condom with you?”

“‘Cause I bought it downstairs just now.”

Your jaw grows slack at the realization. “Is that the reason why your hair was so messy and you were sweating when you barged in here? ‘Cause you ran downstairs, trying to find a condom?”

“I’m sorry, are you really complaining about this now?”

At the feeling of his member twitching underneath you, you sigh. “You’re right. Let’s discuss that later.”

It feels a bit awkward when you stand on your knees, giving him some space and wait until he finishes wrapping the rubber around himself. The silence that hangs between you is almost deafening that by the time he’s done and you fall back to his lap, sitting on his thighs, it feels like you have to start over again.

You diffidently smile. “Hey.”

Haechan is equally as embarrassed, mirroring your gesture. “Hi.”

“I guess we’re gonna have sex.”

“Guess so.”

Another few seconds pass by where you can only meet each other’s eyes, feeling your heartbeat racing louder and louder. It feels like you’re about to burst, honestly, but fortunately for you, Haechan leans in, his fingers tentatively caressing your cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He questions.

You melt under his gaze, his gentle touch, his honey-like voice. “Yes, please.”

Your lips start the connection and the rest of your body follows, fitting every curve of his perfectly like you were made for him. The way Haechan sighs against your mouth sends sparks of electricity all the way down to your toes and you don’t waste any more time. With his mouth latching on your breast, tongue flicking against your nipple, you lower yourself on him.

Haechan’s hold your waist tighter, eyebrows adjoined in the middle at the sensation, his moans muffled. He presses his spine back against the couch, admiring the sight of his member disappearing inch by inch into you. His eyes begin to droop when he’s completely sheathed inside, his bruised lips parted. He cups your cheek, kissing you softly on the corner of your mouth, making you shiver at the sudden tenderness. “I guess we are having sex,” he murmurs with a bashful smile.

You can’t help but laugh a little. “I guess so.”

It starts slow, with you placing both hands on his chest and him swallowing his breath at the sight of you moving up and down his length. You hiss slightly at the friction, adjusting to his size.

“Does it hurt?” He asks, tucking a few loose strands behind your ear.

“A little.” You reassure him with a grin. “Relax, you’re not gonna break me.”

You expect him to send back a snarky remark but what he does is press his forehead against yours. “You’re so warm,” he whispers, tasting the skin that connects your shoulder to your neck. Something about his words, his sensual kiss and his tender touch makes you squeeze your walls around him and he clutches harder around you. He glides his hands lower to your hips, silently urging you to pick up the pace and you follow.

Breathing heavily, Haechan has his thumb grazing your lower lip. “You have such a pretty mouth,” he professes as if he was in a trance.

You seductively bite his thumb, still working your hips. “You’re saying that ‘cause I just sucked your dick.”

“Yes, that too, but really.” It’s as if he’s staring at a work of art, eyes twinkling with admiration. Sometimes, when you’re hitting the right spot and quiver around him, a small moan escapes his lips and you feel him twitching inside you. “It’s—ah—It probably doesn’t sound sincere when I’m saying this now, but I’ve always thought you had a pretty mouth. And lips. I’ve thought about your lips a lot.”

“Yeah?” You mouth against the sensitive skin below his ear, sinking harder on his length. “What else do you like about me?”

“Y-your voice—” You can actually feel him shivering. “You have such a—fuck—I just—I really love your moans.”

You’re not sure whether he’s saying that because he’s so distracted with the way you’re breathing in his ear or he genuinely loves it. Either way, it’s a pleasure to know how much you’re affecting him with your actions. With a chuckle, you say, “You’re rambling, baby.”

“And your hair,” he adds, probably losing every bit of his self-control by this point. “I love your hair. Looks so soft.” Haechan cards his fingers through your strands. “Feels so soft.”

You hum in response, hoping that your flushed face doesn’t look as apparent as you think. “Anything else?”

“Your—” He shudders when you paint a mark under his collarbone. “Your ass.”

You stop, pulling away to give him a look and he whines at the loss. “My ass?”

“What—” The tips of his ears are turning red, steam practically coming out of them. “Why are you staring at me like that—you have a great ass!”

Teasing him is such a joy to you. “Then, let’s do it this way.” You part away from him, landing back on the carpeted floor so you can turn around, giving him the chance to ogle at your behind, before you ease yourself down onto his lap once more.

“Fuck—” Haechan’s hisses, his hands going down to your hips again. The new position doesn’t allow you to meet his eyes but with the way he’s whimpering behind you, fingers trailing over the curve of your ass, the sensation increases.

“You okay back there?” You taunt smugly, chuckling a bit because Haechan sounds like he’s losing it. His nails are sinking into your skin and you just know that’s gonna leave a nasty bruise tomorrow. “You seem like you’re enjoying this way too—“ You’re interrupted by your own moans when he suddenly has one hand massaging your breast and another one sliding down your stomach to find your clit. “W-wait, Haechannie—”

“You’re such a tease,” he breathily whispers into your ear, his chest pressing against your spine as he leans forward, pulling you into his embrace. “Isn’t that supposed to be my job?”

His fingers are rubbing you in circles, making your thighs tremble. “You’re right.” You move your hips harder, going out of rhythm with how fast you’re going and Haechan sinks his teeth to your shoulder again.

At the sound of his name departing your lips in the most sinful moan he’s ever heard, Haechan curses. “Shit, you’re not gonna let me enjoy this longer, are you?”

“There’s always a second round, Haechannie.” You smirk, raising your hips all the way up in intention to slam it back down again but Haechan catches you and pushes you forward until you land on the coffee table, stomach pressing flat against the wooden surface. “What—"

“There’s always a second round, right?” His lips are brushing against your ear as he positions himself behind you. “Then I’m going all out.”

When he slams his hips in one swift motion, hard and deep, he knocks all the air out of your lungs. “Wait—” You choke out, can barely keep up with his pace. “Oh God—”

“Now, now,” he coos, his hand finding its way to your throat, fingers pressing against your veins. He raises your face, his chest completing the dip of your spine. “Don’t bring God’s name when I’m fucking you like this, baby.”

You can’t even find the strength to retort, eyes shutting tightly until you see stars behind your eyelids. It almost feels unreal how fast he can go from being awkward and tentative about all of this to raw and wild within a few minutes but Haechan has always been fast adapting to new situations and you have been teasing him way too much. It’s about time that he snaps.

Haechan moves you down to the floor, forcing you to stand on all fours and you’re so glad you follow his lead. “Spread your knees. Bring your head down,” he instructs and you do as you’re told, extending your arms in front of you. Haechan has his hand on the dip of your shoulder blades, holding you still until you have no choice but to press your cheek against the carpeted floor, ass in the air. “Good girl,” he praises, kneeling behind you and rubbing his tip along your folds. “Ready, baby?”

He doesn’t wait for your answer.

With only a few minutes in, you know you’re getting close, you can feel it. He has switched from giving deep, hard thrusts to quick, shallow ones and it’s driving you insane. “H-Haechannie, I—” you whimper, “I’m close—”

And he knows it too, of course he does. He can tell by the way you’re clenching around him. But instead of going harder and driving you completely over the edge, Haechan suddenly laces his fingers with yours, his lips painting soft kisses from your nape down to your spine, his hips hitting another angle that feels just as amazing even when he slows down the pace. The intimacy surprises you as you don’t expect him to be this tender. Suddenly, it doesn’t feel like you’re doing this out of sheer passion. With his palm covering the back of your hand, fingers slipping between yours, somehow, everything feels more sentimental, stronger, crossing the lines.

With a moan of your name, Haechan flips you to your back, fingers framing your face, lips meeting lips as he thrusts back in, gasping against your mouth. “I want to see your face,” he says when he pulls away, his half-lidded eyes boring into yours, thumb slipping between your lips. “Not sure if I’ve told you this before but…” He snaps his hips, and you tangle your legs around them in response, fingernails digging into his upper arms. “You’re so beautiful.”

The knot in your stomach untangles without warning and your orgasm hits you so hard, you nearly sob at the sensation. With the way you’re quivering and squeezing around him, Haechan follows right after, his face sinking into the crook of your neck, hips stuttering as he rides out his own orgasm.

***

With his jeans back on and his used condom thrown away to the nearest trash bin, Haechan joins you back on the carpeted floor as you still haven’t found the strength to get up and get dressed after that. He shamelessly lays his body down on top of yours, his cheek pressing against the valley of your breasts. “I’m spent,” he mumbles, feeling drowsy.

“Haechannie?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re heavy.”

“I know.” But he doesn’t get up, only moving his head slightly to press a tiny kiss to your bare chest before he lies his head down over your heart again. You give up with a smile, wrapping your arms around him, fingertips stroking his hair. Haechan sighs contentedly under your touch. “Man, that was…”

“That was?”

“Amazing.” He props himself up on his elbows so he can meet your eyes. “You’re amazing.”

Your heart jolts at the sincerity in his words but you cooly smile back. “I know.”

“And I’m amazing too, I’m sure?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “Could be a little better but I’ll let you practice on me for free.”

“Jesus Christ.” He shakes his head, his strands tickling your nose. “I don’t even have the strength to join your banter. You know, I’ve always wondered since you’re pretty much shit at everything, there must be something you’re good at. But I never thought that something would turn out to be sex. I can’t even believe I’m saying this but you’re really, really amazing at it. I feel like I should give you a medal or something.”

“Thanks,” you flatly mutter. “Not sure if you’re praising me, though.”

“Oh, I am praising you, believe me. And you know me, I rarely praise.”

“Stop it,” you use your robotic voice. “You’re making me feel so special, I’m about to cry.”

Haechan playfully nips at your nose, forcing you to break off your act and laugh directly into his mouth. “Seriously,” he says, breaking off the kiss. “If I were to pay you for sex, I would give you everything I own. Even the clothes I’m wearing. Hell, I’d even sell my grandma but don’t tell her that.”

Your laughter has reduced into small giggles. “That’s comforting.”

“So…” The way Haechan is caressing your hair is so soft, almost like a mother to her sleeping child. “What should we do about this?” When you raise an eyebrow, he tensely adds, “Do you, umm… I mean, do you want to, like—”

“You’re rambling.”

“I know, God, I’m so nervous! I may look like a naughty, sexy bad boy—”

“No one is saying that—“

“But I actually suck at this—as in, I don’t really know how to date a girl.”

“You don’t even know how to talk to a girl, based on the conversations we’ve had,” you comment and you know it’s not helping but it’s worth seeing his adorable pout. “Then don’t date me. If it’s hard for you to date, then let’s just keep being friends—"

“But I want to continue this!” He says it so fast and firmly that you don’t even have time to feel hurt about your offer.

It’s not like you crave a relationship with him—you haven’t thought about it that far—even just holding him like this is enough for now, so the fact that he’s so excited to have this going makes your heart swells with joy. “Well then, we’ll be friends who have casual sex anytime we want,” you suggest.

He blinks twice, a bit amazed at your offer, but to your surprise, he seems rather… disappointed? “What happens if we start catching feelings?” He quietly asks.

“Then I guess we’ll start dating for real.”

“Then…” He runs a hand through his hair, nervous. “What happens if I already have feelings for you?”

He states it so quietly, it’s a miracle you can even hear him. “Do you want to date me, Haechannie?”

He looks away, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “Do you want to date me?” He murmurs against your skin, unsure and flustered.

You heave the heaviest sigh you’ve ever done in your life. “You’re unbelievable. I’ll decide for us then. Starting now, we’re dating.”

He lifts his head, and if he were a puppy, he would’ve had his tail wagging behind him, even when his face doesn’t show much. “That easy?”

“That easy. What, you have something to complain about?”

“No.” He grins, pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. “Hey, girlfriend.”

“Ugh, get off me, you’re gross.”

But no matter how hard you push your palm against his face, Haechan only giggles and turns you around so this time, you’re lying on his chest. “So,” he pushes a few strands of your hair behind your ear. “You like me, huh?”

“No, what makes you think that way?”

“Says the girl who just slept with me.”

“I slept with you ‘cause I was just curious about your dick. Jeno said you had a dick that was the size of his thumb.”

“Excuse me?!”

“Didn’t you see his InstaStory last night?” You reach up to gather your phone from the coffee table. “I took a screenshot of it actually. Man, you should’ve seen the comments. They’re hilarious.”

Snatching your phone away, Haechan runs his eyes along the words written on the screen. “That son of a bitch!”

Simpering, you sneak a peek under his boxer. “Well, he’s not wrong.”

“Oh, it’s on,” he deadpans, throwing your phone away and pushes you back down on the floor. His eyes glinting mischievously.

“What are you doing?” You’re still half-laughing when he brings your hands over your head, holding your wrists together with one hand as he settles between your thighs, his fingers hovering dangerously close.

“I’m gonna make you take your words back.” He wets his lip, one corner of his mouth turning upward. “Time for the second round, baby.”

***

2K notes · View notes

yutahoes · 4 years

Text

No Strings Attached

characters : Yuta Nakamoto, Reader, Jung Jaehyun, Taeyong is also mentioned

genre : smut

warning : Smut (Teasing, Breast Fondling, Light Bondage, Spanking, Rough Sex), Cheating, Alcohol

summary : It’s just one night. No strings attached. What could go wrong?

word count : 3.5k

tag list : @ailoveyuta @yutazen01 @aiforyuu

a/n: This is for plot purpose only but I don’t condone nor encourage cheating. I don’t know where this came from. Please forgive me for I have sinned. 🙏 And since I’m not satisfied with how this ended, I might post a second part. Should I? Please let me know.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

"Baby girl, what are you doing here?" Yuta asked that made you roll your eyes at him. Of all the bars in Seoul, why do you have to meet him here? And now? Really? "Does your boyfriend know you're here?" Funny he would say that.

Yuta is a common friend of both your boyfriend and your brother so eventually, you just hang out with him often. He's the perfect embodiment of a resident fuckboy. Evident was the way he winked at one of the girls dancing on the dance floor. You shook your head as the bartender left the glass of the Long Island Iced Tea you ordered.

"Pretty hard drink. Is Jaehyun picking you up?"

"You don't need to concern yourself with me. Go, Yuta. Have fun with your girlies." You waved a hand to shoo him away but he just chuckled.

Instead, he ordered a whiskey from the bartender. "Do you have problems, princess?" That nickname. He would always tease you that since you're pretty spoiled with your brother and your boyfriend. But among all the boys in your life, Yuta is the only one who calls you that. Honestly, you wanted Jaehyun to call you the same.

"I'm bored." You confessed. He cocked an eyebrow at you and you continued, "Jaehyun is so romantic but that's all he is." You don't know why you're telling him this but Yuta is like an extension of your brother and you knew he wouldn't judge you, the same way as how you wouldn't talk about the girls he gave tongue in the girls' restroom during college years. "He's great in bed and all but…"

"Wait, hold up." He reacted quickly. "You and Jaehyun are fucking?" You nodded surprised that he wouldn't think of that. He knew that you sometimes spend nights at Jaehyun's place. Does he think you only play rock paper scissors in his place? "I thought you're pretty innocent."

You had to laugh at that. You're way different from that. "Do you think Jae would tell TY the things we do?" He chuckled then nodded. Taeyong, your brother, is actually the innocent one. "If we do much." You mumbled under your breath which he caught. "I wish Jaehyun isn't too vanilla."

Yuta lightly coughed. "You don't like him being vanilla?" You shook your head. "God, baby girl, I'm seeing you in a new light." A frustrated sigh escaped his lips and he obviously is checking you out.

You bit your lip. There must be a reason why girls can't get enough of this playboy. And damn, you wanted to hear that pet name repeatedly while he thrust into you. You shook your head. Yuta Nakamoto? You can't.

"Have you talked to Jaehyun about this?" You badly want to tell him something but you also don't want to hit his ego hard. You know how sensitive Jaehyun is. He might take this the wrong way. "Obviously, you haven't."

"Jaehyun is a great guy, Yuta. I just don't like that he treats me like a fragile object." You shared, alcohol taking its toll on you. "I want him to be rough on me. I want him to spank me." By now, you don't even know what you're saying but you're so frustrated that you decided to let everything go. "I just want someone to fuck me dumb…"

Yuta's lips were on you before you could finish your sentence. And when you moaned at his roughness, his tongue entered your mouth. He tasted like whiskey, and cigarettes, and a pungent taste that you cannot pinpoint. A taste different from Jaehyun. You pushed him before he could touch your waist, panting at how steamy that kiss was. "What the hell, Yuta?"

He smirked, wiping his lip with his thumb and you notice the color of your lipstick on his. "You said so yourself, you just want someone to fuck you dumb." His thumb came in contact with your bottom lip. "You're just curious so let me give you that experience."

You gulped at how intimidating he is. "But Jaehyun…"

"It's not cheating if he doesn't find out." His fingers moved to your cheek then tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Just one rough sex, baby girl. No strings attached."

This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. For starters, it was you who said yes. So why are you getting scared now? Truthfully, you have been curious about Yuta's sexual status. Even your friends would often share that he's such a sex God so it's a mystery for you on what kind of man Yuta is in bed.

But you're dating Jaehyun. It isn't right that you had sex with someone, moreover Jaehyun's friend, when you're in a rough patch like this.

Yuta's hands held your waist, facing you to him. There were only the two of you in the elevator heading to his penthouse. "What are you thinking, baby girl?" And you wanted to melt at that. His lips hover above yours, whispering "Tell me what you want."

"I want you to fuck me, Yuta."

You were pushed on the wall of the elevator. He pulled both your arms up, holding both with one hand as his lips roughly took yours. His other hand pushed your waist that you felt your back on the elevator wall. He raised one of his legs, touching your core that made you moan.

This is wrong.

First, this is cheating. You have a boyfriend, for crying out loud. If Jaehyun finds out about it, not only will your relationship end. His and Yuta's. Probably yours and Yuta's as well.

Second, someone can see the two of you. But it only turned you on much more. The thought that someone watching the two of you behind the security camera made you so wet that you started begging Yuta when he let go of the kiss.

He stared at you, cursing, and you were blinded at how hot that sounded that you held on his shoulder. "Two floors left, baby girl." He claimed glancing at the led showing the floor numbers. "Then I'll have my way on you."

You've known Yuta for so long but this is the first time that you're alone in his penthouse. Usually, you would come here with either Taeyong or Jaehyun so a weird yet familiar feeling bubbled in the pit of your stomach. "Sit down." He ordered in a commanding tone making you gulp. You quickly sat on his couch, following his every move.

He removed his watch, placing it above the coffee table as he knelt in front of you. "Y/N." And you suddenly realized that he never called you by your name, it's always 'princess' or 'baby girl'. Why does your name sound so hot rolling on his tongue like that? He held both your lap and the spot blazed in warmness. "Do you really want to do this?"

You nodded. "Words, baby. I want you to communicate with me."

"Yes, Yuta. I want to do this."

His tongue trailed his bottom lip as your gaze followed it, wanting that tongue somewhere in your body. Just somewhere moist would be nice. "You want it rough?" Once again, you had to nod but he reminded you of using your words. "Spanking?" You gulped. You badly wanted to but you've never tried it before. Will you get hurt? "Safe word." He asked while standing up in front of you, towering above you.

Your eyes widened at that. He's progressing fast. And a safe word? You might really get hurt. "Yuta, I don't think we need…"

"Trust me, princess, you do."

You watched as he unbuckled his belt, removing it from his pants in just one swift motion. Will he hit you with that? You should really think this through. "Vanilla!" You blurted out suddenly, closing your eyes.

His fingers were on your chin, urging you to look at him. "That's cute, sweetheart." A new nickname. "Now take off your clothes." He watched you with lust-filled eyes as you remove your sweater and the thin camisole underneath to reveal your midnight blue brassiere.

"God, Jaehyun is one lucky bastard." His tongue darted out once again as he wrapped his belt on his hand. "Take this off, baby."

Your hands were shaking as you removed the only cloth covering your breasts. In your defense, this was the first time that you're naked in front of another guy other than your boyfriend. Yuta's gaze isn't helping as well. Is he turned on? Does he like what he's seeing? His other hand, the left one without the belt wrapped on it, was held in front of you so you gave him the brassiere which he threw somewhere across the room.

"Why are you so nervous?" He sat beside you as you breathed heavily. Why are you so nervous? It's not like it is your first time having sex. You control Jaehyun whenever you're together so why are you such a submissive for Yuta? Is it the air of dominance that he exudes? Or because you really yearned to be submissive for once? "I won't hurt you." He assured as his lips went yours, sucking your tongue. He licked your bottom lip when he pulled out, "You remember the safe word, right?"

"Yes." You breathed. It was you who wanted this. It was you who initiated this. You wanted to feel this. You want this. "Take me, Yuta."

His lust hooded eyes were back as his right hand touched your breast. The coldness of the leather belt, a contrast to the blazing sensation of your skin. His thumb played with your erect nipple, twirling and pulling. You had to close your eyes, whimpers escaping your mouth at the sensation. "You're so pretty." He mumbled as he nuzzled his head between your breasts, licking the exposed skin. "I want to mark you but you're not mine."

Yuta's tongue licked your nipple while staring straight at you that made you arch your back, pushing your breasts closer to him. His mouth devoured your breast, tongue playing with the perky nipples inside his mouth. He's so good with his mouth. Really good.

He went to the other breast, his right hand rubbing your thigh while the other was placed on your waist. All you could do is moan. Yep, the rumors are true. Yuta is such a God.

By now, you're so wet that you raised your hips for some friction but he pushed you back. You crossed your legs as you felt the bubbling in your stomach. "Yuta, please." You begged as you felt him smirk. "I'm…" But he let go of your breast with a pop, staring at you.

Annoyed, you sat on his lap and started grinding your wet core against his pants. You wanted that release that he just denied to you. You wanted to cum already. But obviously, he had other things in mind. "Naughty, baby. Are you that desperate?" You nodded. "Lie down, stomach flat."

You didn't even know where this was going but you followed him, you lay down on his lap. His erect member can be felt against your stomach and you focus on his hands. His left hand touched your hair, down to your naked back then stopped at the waistband of your jeans. His right hand followed the same route and you moaned at the rough feeling of leather. You felt his hand on the cheeks of your butt and realized where this is going.

You closed your eyes as you felt his hand slap one of the cheeks, moaning at how the pain changed into pleasure quickly.

Another slap. But this time you had to yelp at the pain. The layers of the belt sent a sting on your ass that you cursed, "That hurts."

"You don't like it?" You wanted it but the consequence is that you cannot sit properly tomorrow. You shook your head. "Such a baby." He grazed the leather clad hand on your back once again, tapping your shoulders. "Both hands up."

It was difficult but you obeyed him. The leather was wrapped on both your wrists tightly, secured by the last loophole. He kissed your bound wrist, letting your arms stretch out above you. "I'll hit you five times. You shouldn't miss a count, understood?" You nodded and he slapped you immediately. "I said words, baby girl."

"Yes, Yuta." You breathed out. He gave you a warning then slapped you once again, stronger than the first two he did. You screamed the first number as you heard a hum escaped his lips. He gently caressed your butt cheeks before slapping it the second time, then the third and fourth. This was it, the roughness that you have been yearning for. You were so turned on.

He was done with the fifth one but he slapped you again, surprising you. "Yuta, you're done." You revolted but he smirked. "You missed counting." Another slap and you started with one, once again. You enunciated every number until five clearly so that he'll never miss it. A sigh escaped your lips when he was done and rubbing your butt cheeks. "Good girl."

The wetness on your core is all that matters now. You wanted to be fucked, rough. "Yuta, please fuck me." In the same position, he carried you to his room dropping you to his bed that you even bounced on the mattress. You were now facing him as he removed his shirt.

Why haven't you realized that Yuta has a navel piercing? That makes it so hot. You wanted to trail your tongue and see how sensitive it is. “You like what you see, princess?” You nodded, biting your lip as you anticipated what he would do next.

He kneeled on the bed, legs spread caging you in. You can easily see the outline of his bulge on his pants. You arched your back as you desperately tried to have contact with him, wanting to touch him but the belt on your wrists isn’t letting you. He chuckled at your attempt, smirking as he slowly unbuttoned your jeans. You raised your hip up to let him pull the material down, throwing it once again across the room.

Your breathing hitched against your throat as his hands trailed your leg north to where the edge of your matching underwear is. “You are so wet.” His fingers traced the wetness on the materials, pushing when he felt your throbbing clit. His thumb pressed on the same spot as you squirmed at the immense pleasure. Two fingers playing with the clothed lips of your core. “You are so wet. Look at how your pussy is taking me.” You don’t need to look. You knew. You could feel how his fingers were sinking into you even if you still have your underwear on.

“Yuta, please.” You begged. You wanted something, anything to take you to your orgasm. To give you the pleasure you badly wanted since you entered his penthouse. But a fucker as he is, he removed his fingers on you. A groan escaped your mouth as he chuckled at your desperate state. The Japanese guy stood up and you followed him with a wanting gaze. He took something from the bedside table that made your eyes widened. This is it. It’s really happening.

Yuta unbuttoned his pants, removing them from him. “I want to feel you cum.” You gulped at his size when he removed his boxers. He opened one condom with his teeth, putting it on his length. If possible, it got bigger. “You still remember the safe word, right?” You nodded then answered him a soft yes. He removed your underwear, parting your legs together as he leaned closer. He sank into you as a scream escaped your throat. He’s huge and you felt your walls clenching tight into him. “God, you’re so tight. Doesn’t Jaehyun fuck you good?”

The mention of the name brought you to your edge. The orgasm that you badly want and he just entered you. You wanted to touch him, to claw at something while he thrusts into you forcefully that your body is bouncing against the mattress. “God, I can’t believe Jaehyun isn’t fucking you good,” he mumbled, drilling his cock inside you. “If you’re mine, I’ll make sure that you cannot move from this bed.” His thrusts were forceful, taking no mercy on you. And you liked it, a total difference from Jaehyun who likes to take everything slowly.

He kept hitting that pleasure spot that made you cum the second time but he didn’t stop although you’re still sensitive. He kept on abusing your pussy, complaining about your tightness and how your vagina clenched on him. All you could do is scream his name and squirm at the roughness he’s showing. Indeed, a true Sex God.

He came in the condom and you breathed heavily. You cannot do this again, Yuta is such a monster. No wonder girls find him intimidating and really good in bed. To your surprise, he opened another pack of condom while jerking his cock with his hand. “What…?” He turned you around after putting the condom on his erect cock, raising your hip up and pushing your head on the pillow. “Yuta!” A slap on your ass made you surprised before he entered you from behind. Your moans were muffled by the pillow as he kept thrusting while slapping your butt cheeks.

Fuck, Yuta is so rough. But it turns you on so much that even if you don’t want to do this anymore, your body is still reacting differently. His hand held on your hair in a ponytail, pulling it that you had to raise your head. You breathe in a lungful of air, only realizing that you had trouble breathing earlier. Yuta will be your death, you’re sure of that. And he doesn’t look like he’ll stop anytime soon. “Yuta…” You called, tears springing from your eyes. You wanted sex to be rough but not this rough. You’re hurting. “Vanilla.” You shouted.

In a snap, he was out of you and you kind of regretted shouting that word. He reached out for the belt on your wrists, undoing it to free your arms. “Clean yourself.” he gestured to the door. “I’ll get you something to wear.”

Your legs were shaking, giving out on you but Yuta already left the room so you had to drag yourself to the bathroom. A lot of things were running in your mind when the warm water of the shower hit you. You had sex with Yuta. You cheated on Jaehyun. You felt disgusted with yourself for letting your wild self do this. This is your fault. You should have thought of the consequences before agreeing to Yuta. Now, your friendship is in danger. And if Jaehyun finds out, all hell will break loose.

“I’ll call Jaehyun first thing in the morning. Take a rest.” Yuta claimed after leaving his clothes outside the shower room. She should at least tell Jaehyun that this happened. "And please, let this be our dirty secret Y/N." You lightly glanced at the door, seeing his silhouette. "I don't want you or Jaehyun hurt because of what I did. You two deserved better." He leaned his head on the door. "So please, let's keep this to ourselves." --

You were already clothed with your own clothes when the doorbell rang. Thinking that Yuta might answer it, you didn’t bother about it. But minutes dragged and there's no one answering it that you went outside the room and opened the door. Jaehyun was looking at you in worry, holding your cheek asking what’s wrong. “I kept on calling you. Luckily, Yuta hyung called me and said you were here.”

“Jaehyun…” A male grunt can be heard from the kitchen before she could speak, followed by a girl calling Yuta’s name. Your eyes widened in surprise as you saw him bending a girl on the kitchen counter. When he noticed the two of you, he just covered his naked waist with a kitchen towel, smacking the girl’s ass, and asked her to wait for him.

Jaehyun gave another look at the girl who was eating the sausages. “So that’s your girlfriend.” Your boyfriend asked which made the Japanese nod while smirking. “Thank you for taking care of Y/N. I’ll take her home now.”

Yuta smiled, nodding at him. Jaehyun held your hand, pulling you out but Yuta had to stop the two of you. “The thread of your sweater.” he said as he held both of your shoulders, standing dangerously close to you that you can feel his hard-on. You glanced at Jaehyun who was checking his phone, “Call me.” Yuta whispered then handed something that surprised you.

Two strings. Tied together in a knot.

Fuck, he wanted more.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

PART 2.

#yuta smut #yuta nakamoto smut #nct smut

386 notes · View notes

sultryvodka · 3 years

Text

𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙚! 𝙖𝙤𝙩 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 | 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 1

𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝 𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚 - 𝙢𝙖𝙮 4𝙩𝙝

warnings: mild swearing, mildly suggestive (if you squint lol)

| armin - colt - eren - jean - porco |

armin arlert

• i think most, if not all of us, agree that armin looks like the type to get all flustered with PDA & shy away from his emotions --- HOWEVER.

• rather than being all over you, he finds himself most comfortable with holding your hand or having an arm wrapped around your shoulders.

• he wouldn't mind you being clingy though 👀

• would occasionally place a gentle peck on your forehead, cheeks & his personal favorite; the palm of your hands.

• you guys' dates would mostly end up being in a library, café & restaurants with a nice warm atmosphere.

• i bet he would be the kind of guy to take you to the beach whenever you're stressed out in hopes of calming you down.

• gets very defensive when his friends tease you, if a man could bark his friends away, it's armin arlert.

• this lad over here would establish a routine with you (with your consent & opinions ofc)

• mondays to friday mornings are centered on school, you guys do your own thing at school & walk you home while making sure to stop by a convenience store for snacks, assuming that you guys don't live together yet.

• both of you make it a point to check on one another to make sure you guys aren't wearing yourselves out.

• which leads me to the conclusion that your parents grew very fond of him & treats him more like their child

• when you guys are having a sleepover, this whole lowkey facade of his takes a 180 and the second you reach the bedroom he'll shower you with cuddles and kisses.

• you would watch movies (mostly rom-com just bc armin makes it work okay) tucked in a warm futon with popcorn and candies between you two.

• armin strikes me as a very studious guy and he does this to ensure you guys' future together ^-^

• all in all armin cares about you so much and he doesn't mind being vulnerable to you. he is your safe haven, and so are you to him.

colt grice

• okay can we talk about how this perfect man deserves some more attention

• colt, my man, gives me disney's prince florian vibes. the soft-spoken, kind-hearted, & just an absolute dream.

• he's the kind of guy to take you to the park, a greenhouse, & WORKSHOPS!!!

• given the idea that he is in fact a shy little baby, he is actually pretty active with you. every date you guys have is different. mans has a quest planned out for y'all.

• at school i think that you might be the one to initiate skinship. doesn't have to be kisses on the lips, it's more of gently trailing your index on the back of his hand or rubbing a hand on his forearm when he gets a little anxious.

• the type to peek through your classroom's door because bubba's too shy to ask someone to call for you 🤧

• colt, in my opinion, is very domestic in private, now don't get me wrong he may be a little too shy in public because he isn't used to it but i promise you he takes on the nurturing role of the relationship more than you are.

• he helps you with cleaning, folding your clothes, and god if you guys get periods, he's got a whole pouch in his locker just for you.

• he doesn't do it intentionally, he happens to know you so well that he notices the slight change in your moods & cravings.

• colt often reads a book while you guys cuddle during the afternoons once all the work is done, he'd make you tea or whatever you want. he hums a tune, probably from old disney movies that his brother falco used to enjoy as a kid.

• your parents are more invested in your marriage than you and colt combined.

• okay, now if you happen to have a baby or a toddler somewhere around the house, someone keep this man from turning into a putty.

• as much as colt acts prim and proper most of the time, he has his moments where he just wants to be an entire mess. perhaps sleeping past his usual waking time, indulging in more snacks than usual. you know, loosen up? yeah, that is a side of his that only YOU will ever be allowed to see.

• so yes you and colt would be labeled as the: put-together couple who needs a little bit of adventure every now and then.

eren jaeger

• i hope i don't ramble too long because i love him sm

• mr. loverboy over here is a simp for you, more than you are a simp for him! he is not afraid to show you off and shower you with flattery. now he does this because he feels so lucky to have you.

• he can be a little cliché (well maybe not as much as jean --- more on that later), like he'll randomly interrupt your vacant class with a gift box he put together, & a bouquet. yes. (carla helped him pick out flowers from her shop)

• he's the type to crash his lips with yours in the middle of campus when you achieve something or when he does, vice-versa. if he plays in one of your school's teams, there just HAS to be a bet that if he wins he gets a kiss... or more... or something else.

• dates with eren are usually random than planned. like it pops in his head and he'll inform you right away. he respects your vacancy too of course but if you aren't he might pout just a little bit.

• his ideal dates are prop shop dates, going to hotspots, amusement parks, antique shops! & maybe late night drinks at a quiet bar where you can both enjoy the solace of the atmosphere.

• on special occasions, he does plan ahead. usually it's something on the simpler side. candlelit dinners at home or somewhere you guys both enjoy dining.

• if eren's had a bad day, best believe that he will run to you for comfort. only you can help keep his aggressive response to anger at bay.

• if given the chance he would take you around the world, he's that passionate in making sure you live a little

• hear me out... you and eren would probably have the most philosophical conversations, just laying on your backs beneath his room's skylight? heavenly.

• eren can get a little poetic expressing himself & i believe that it's just wonderful. no one can describe their feelings as good as eren.

• his favorite look of yours is when your eyes beam with excitement, it usually happens when you spot something that you used to enjoy as a kid or when you're concentrating on one of your hobbies.

• he's a very touchy person too, his hands are usually on your stomach/waist, his kisses are random & they linger for awhile.

• when you're asleep next to him, it's his habit to solemnly watch you while his own drowsiness starts to take over.

• eren is passionate & sometimes people might take it the wrong way. one of the reasons eren loves you is because of the way you understand how he is. mutual growth for y'all ♡.

jean kirschtein

• jean is not afraid to pull a live performance for you, you see this man is at the top of the world when he's with you. from 80s hits to recent releases this man will blast his playlists catered for you.

• dates with jean are certainly spent on concerts, (him & eren bond over chase atlantic don't argue with me) music festivals, thrifting & late night drives!!!

• personally, i don't see jean as very gimmicky unless you guys are with his friends, he takes you very seriously and you are his top priority.

• at school i think he's definitely one of those flirtatious boyfriends. the kind who would not miss an opportunity to blow you a kiss or throw you a wink. he can be a bit of a dork, who wouldn't be? if he can get one of your rare smiles 🥺

• jean's the type to ask his pals for help when it comes to styling. not because he dresses badly but he's too focused on getting a flush on your cheeks. he's a hopeless romantic.

• if you guys happen to stay at home, he'll definitely serenade you with the amount of songs he had written recently just for you.

• since he bonds with sasha and connie, his jokes are either dad jokes or something that went viral on tiktok. he's the perfect balance of goofy and mature.

• if you aren't much of an active person he wouldn't mind being lazy with you and insist on a diy spa day at home.

• it's just netflix with a tub of ice cream and face masks on.

• since jean is quite the romantic, he would be into couple outfits or items that aren't cringey obv and probably doesn't mind using your perfume or vice-versa.

• jean probably asked you out during one of his gigs, offering you a single rose afterwards.

• he's the type to leave you random post-it notes if he visits your house. just random phrases or doodles. and boy does he pick you up every single day on his smexy motorcycle.

• he'll bring you coffee and breakfast to-go. this man's spoiling you baby.

• aside from that, i feel like jean would make you hand-made gifts with the help of his momma. he thinks it's sentimental when you make your presents because it's one of a kind.

• jean does all these things because he's 100% about you being a constant person in his life. he loves how he can be whoever he wants when he's around you, i'm certain you guys wouldn't have it any other way either.

porco galliard

• porco can be a dick if he wants to not to you though, this tough guy turns into putty just for you. he definitely loves being treated like a baby.

• at first he might come off as cold because he isn't used to the whole romance thing and he gets flustered with the slightest pecks so you might have to initiate at first.

• but once you guys get through the awkward phase this boy would straight up greet you with a passionate kiss and does not give a damn about everybody who witnessed it. he might even have a stupid smirk on his face.

• like eren, i feel like porco would be very passionate and intense. he doesn't say much but he definitely shows you just how much he adores you.

• speaking of friends (: reiner would tease him every second of the day. i bet he would team up with bertholdt to annoy this poor boy. annie and pieck's not much help either.

•whenever you're stressed, porco would run you a bath and give you massages very often. he'll sit on the edge of the tub while he runs his hand through your hair.

•his type of dates would be watching at a cinema or a drive-in, going to the mall just to look around,he's a simple guy.

•if you guys happen to have an argument, porco would distance himself for a few minutes to a few hours just to process the situation and avoid anything his aggression might cause.

•he knew that if he wanted you guys to work he needed to be better.

•he would come back though and hold you in his arms while you guys talk it out.

•i bet he's one of the aot characters who would be an athlete, so most days you'll end up watching him practice.

•overtime, porco would be more open to being intimate in public and post stories of you two just doing things most couples do.

•he's proud that you're his and he's all yours.

•porco is a great guy and he would do anything just to make you smile.

i hope you guys liked these~! let me know who you guys want to be in the second part. requests are open and as always, stay safe! - 🌸☁️

#aot headcanons #aot x you #armin headcanons #armin arlert fluff #colt headcanons #colt grice fluff #eren headcanons #eren jaeger fluff #jean headcanons #jean kirschtein fluff #porco headcanons #porco galliard fluff #🌸☁️ works

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asupernaturalgirl · 3 years

Text

I’ll Always Be Here to Help You

Sam Wilson x Fem!Reader

Request: If you don’t mind, I wanna request maybe something like sam and the reader previously being lovers in the past but they separate and she becomes a lab rat for hydra or something like that, and he saves her and what not. Very cliche yet cute in my opinion. ��🙂❤️ @jeonsblackgf-writes

A/N: Hey, All! I have to admit, this one made me a bit nervous. This is my first Marvel One shot and I wanted it to be so good so I hope you all like it. Also, this is written in 3rd person, which is new for me in one shots so I hope you don’t mind.

Warnings: torture, breakups, hydra stuff

H/C: Hair Color, S/C: Skin Color

There’s a moment when you’re watching something about to happen, something terrible, where you so badly want to turn your head, to avert your gaze, but something is still fixing it onto whatever is happening. Car crashes, accidents, injuries. You would never purposefully enjoy watching something so terrible, but your brain doesn’t make the connection between something about to happen and needing to shield yourself from it.

That was exactly how Sam Wilson felt as he watched the screen in front of him. He wanted so badly to turn, to leave the room. Steve had even approached him to try to get him to leave, but some sick part of his brain wasn’t allowing him to even step a foot away. He watched as the sick criminals injected something into her skin. Her skin. It was so grey, so much paler than her normal (S/C) tone. Bruises and bloody injuries lined nearly every part of her body.

Her (H/C) hair, which he had loved so much, was matted and dirty. It was so unlike you, so rare for you to be so weak, so hurt, that he almost didn’t recognize you at first. It was her screams of pain, her desperate pleading that brought him back to reality and allowed it to actually sink into his brain. Hydra was using her as a lab rat. They had no plans to actually turn her into anything, they were just testing all of their materials on her.

He hadn’t seen her in so long. If he had known she was in danger, if he had known that this would have happened, he would have done anything to make sure she was safe.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Sam sat down at the park bench, holding her hands tightly as he tried to explain the very thing he was dreading explaining to her. It was worse than he imagined. “I can’t force you to wait for me when I’m off god knows where, fighting in the Air Force.”

She turned her head. Sam Wilson, the man who meant everything to her, the man who she’d been with since she was in 10th grade, was breaking up with her to go into the military. He didn’t want her to have to forsake her health and life so that he could live his own. “Sam, I don’t care about where you’re going. I’ll go with you. There’s nothing keeping me here anymore.”

He shook his head. People walking by looked over as the two of them spoke. Tears poured out of her eyes. She was still trying to keep from sobbing out loud, although she wasn’t sure how much longer that would actually last.

“You need to live your own life,” He was strong with his statement. As a rescuer, his job would be dangerous and take up a considerable amount of time. “Even if you came with me, I wouldn’t be around much. I can’t drag you to some unknown location and then force you to stay there without any friends and family. This is for the best.”

Y/N didn’t want to even look at him. She turned your head slightly and crossed her arms. She felt like a child who wasn’t getting what they wanted. Sam meant everything to her and it hurt her that he was leaving without even giving her an option in the matter.

“I love ya, sweetheart,” He ran his hand along her back, trying to comfort her. He hated when she cried and it hurt him even more that he was the one causing those tears. “I’ll come back and visit you when I get the chance.”

That had been the last time he spoke to Y/N. The last time he spoke to her before she was captured, he left her on a bench. The guilt began to spread in his chest at the thought. She must have been so terrified, so lost when Hydra captured her, and he wasn’t there to help. “We need to get her.”

Steve nodded his head. “Where do you know her from?”

Sam watched as she withered in the chair they had her strapped in, screaming for help. His chest constricted at the idea of Y/N in so much pain, the idea of someone hurting you like that. She had absolutely no business being there. “Her and I dated when we were in high school and a little bit before I joined the military. I broke up with her.”

Steve’s face dropped. He had no idea that she had been so close to Sam. He knew that his friend must have been devastated. Moving forward, Cap placed his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “We’re gonna get her, Sam. I promise you.”

…

Sam was flying over the base, trying to find some weak point to enter through. It was easy to find the location. Because they had received the video via hacking, all they needed to do was look at the location codes. Rumors had been circulating about a Hydra base closeby, so once they had a general spot to look in, they found it rather quickly.

“Sam, the third window to the left in the back looks unguarded,” Clint said through the earpiece. “Goes into a small closet. We did a quick X-Ray check and it seems there’s no one guarding that either.”

“I’m goin’ in,” He said quickly, rerouting his position towards the back of the large base. He was surprised no one had found them yet. They were able to get into the base rather easily, which sent shivers up his spine. It was never this easy.

Apparently, it was right to be worried. As soon as he broke through the window and closed his wings to begin walking through, three men immediately charged him. He dodged them quickly, throwing one into the wall as he kicked another in the face, knocking him out. The last charged forward with a knife held in hand, but he quickly grabbed the man’s arm, bending it backwards. The sound of a bone snapping echoed through the small closet and he screamed out slightly in pain. Sam quickly pushed him into a cabinet while his defenses were down and slipped out before he tried anything else.

He walked carefully through the hallways, not wanting to draw any more attention to himself than he already did. He hoped that the three men were the only defenses they put up against him, but he seriously doubted that.

The one thing that kept him going was thinking about Y/N. She deserved none of this and he would make sure she was safe before anything else. He pressed on the small bud in his ear. “I’m in. You see anything else?”

“There’s a couple of guys fighting down here,” It was Natasha this time. “Steve and Clint are trying to hold them off while you’re down there. Try to get to her quickly.”

“Well, it’d be a whole lot easier if I could see a damn thing down here,” He turned the corner, but could only see about 3 foot in front of him. The combination of dark walls and a lack of windows made it quite dark. “You’d think an organization that has been around for this long would have enough money to turn on some lights every once in a while.”

“Ha Ha, Wilson,” Natasha said sarcastically. “Just find Y/N and get the hell out of there.”

He went into overdrive mode. Occasionally, someone would pass by, almost completely oblivious to the fact that they had an enemy raiding the base at the moment. They were unprepared and by the time they realized they had to fight, Sam already had them on the ground.

One room in particular stuck out to him. There was a breaker box right outside the door for electricity. This meant they likely needed quick access to the controls here. He was wary, unsure of what he may find inside. He prayed that if she was there, no one else would be. He needed to get her and leave as quickly as possible.

He opened the door quickly, ready for a large fight. There she was. Y/N. She was sweating, but shivering at the same time. Her eyes were huge as she turned towards the door, caught off guard by the loud sound. He would never forget the expression of relief that crossed her face as soon as she saw him.

There was a man frantically trying to undo her restraints, likely trying to evacuate her before Sam could get to her. He quickly rushed forward, tackling the man to the ground. He grabbed the man’s head, hitting it against the concrete floor until he was seemingly unconscious. Sam pried the key from the man’s hand and rushed to unlock them.

“Sam, what are you...what are you doing here?” Y/N questioned. She was shocked. She had prayed that someone would help her, that someone would save her from the absolute misery she was experiencing. The person she expected was definitely not her ex boyfriend.

“Found a video of you being used as a lab rat,” He started, moving to her legs now that her arms were free. “There was no way I was going to let you stay here. Can you walk?”

“I-I don’t think so,” She looked down at her hands. “I’ve been here for a few weeks so my legs are so weak.”

It hurt Sam almost physically that they hadn’t even let you out of the chair. As soon as you were completely unshackled, he leaned down and lifted you into his arms, quickly carrying you throughout the facility.

This time, there was seemingly no one left to fight. He went through the same way that he came in, making sure he didn’t take a bad turn. Taking the wrong turn here could be the difference between life and death. Steve was waiting in the same closet he’d broken into, his eyes surprised as soon as he saw Sam come through the door with the girl in his arms.

Steve helped Sam out and sprinted with them as they made their way back to the jet. He could feel his arms beginning to grow heavy but he knew he couldn’t let you go. You wouldn’t be able to walk by yourself. Your muscles were likely atrophied at this point.

As soon as the team got the go ahead, they were taking off. A doctor had rushed forward to help Y/N, taking care of the most dramatic injuries first. He cleaned off a few deep wounds. “These likely needed stitches when they happened but they’re too old now. Stitching them would just cause the infection to be trapped inside.”

Sam watched as they worked, making sure that she wasn’t afraid. He felt the need to use comic relief, as he normally did, but refrained. It would likely be in bad taste at the current moment. After a few hours of poking and prodding, there was a few minutes where Y/N could just soak everything in. She had been rescued, saved from the most terrible people by Sam, her old love.

Sam sat quietly on a chair next to the small gurney. He looked down at his hands but kept a close eye on you to make sure you didn’t need anything. “Thank you, Sam.”

He looked up, surprised by her words. Why would she ever think she needed to be thankful for him for this? He got her out of a situation that he wouldn’t have wished on anyone. “You could have just called me if you wanted my attention. You didn’t have to do all this.”

A grin crossed Y/N’s face. He was the same old Sam. Even though he was a superhero and looked quite different physically than he had before, he still had the same personality. “Yeah, I might have to think about that differently next time.”

Sam slowly walked towards you and grabbed your frail hands in his large ones, giving you a comforting squeeze. His eyes were sincere as he looked down at you. “I meant what I said when I saw you last, Y/N. I love you. Even though we haven’t seen each other in years, I’ll always be here to help you.”

#sam x reader #sam wilson x reader #one shots #marvel #avengers #falcon #falcon x reader #captain america x reader #steve rogers #imagines #steve x reader #Bucky Barnes

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heyitsyn · 4 years

Text

Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you’ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

1K notes · View notes

its-nebula · 4 years

Text

Kokichi x Motherly!S/O

Please watch him at all times.

No seriously

Watch.

Him.

Someone who has those maternal instincts is honestly what he needs in his life.

Because he WILL get into trouble otherwise.

You have to learn to be patient with him. Very, very, very patient.

Kokichi loves testing this patience of yours. In fact, he makes it into a game for himself.

Everytime your patience runs out with him, he gains a point. It's fun, until it's not.

If he ever feels like you're actually done with him and about to leave him, he will SOB.

"WAAAAAHHH! S/O DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!"

You have to baby him until he's reassured that all is well, then he behaves for like a day.

Kokichi frequently stays up way too late for his own good, thinking of pranks and schemes. You can tell it's taking a toll on him, so you kindly ask him to go to bed on time.

"I'm doing just fine! You worry too much."

God damn it Kokichi.

Now, every night, you make sure he goes to sleep, even if he has to be in the same bed as you.

Though he protests at first, he quickly gives in, because hey, it's a free opportunity for him to lay on your chest and for you to stroke his hair.

He's not gonna complain.

He also never goes hungry around you. If he skips a meal, either by purpose or by accident, you make sure he at least eats something.

"Aww, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you'd have a crush on me~"

...

You're also always coming to his defense. Nobody will hurt your boyfriend; not on your watch.

Once he came to you a little sad, and when you asked why, he started sniffling, rubbing his cheek.

"Kaito...he punched me. I guess I deserved it, huh?"

Oh fuck no.

Immediately, the next time you saw him, you chewed him the HELL out.

Honestly, Kokichi was impressed that you wanted to defend him so badly. He knew he was very mischevious, and you still were loyal to him?

He was speechless.

Maki jumped in to Kaito's defense, claiming Kokichi was being a jerk.

But you loved him. Nobody was allowed to put their hands on your boyfriend, and you were going to defend him until the very end.

After that ordeal, Kokichi felt bad, and he subsided on making trouble as much, just so you didn't always have to jump in.

...but that doesn't mean he completely stopped.

You find yourself always trying to get him out of antics that he gets himself into. One simple prank goes wrong and oh boy.

"Nishishishi~ I am untouchable when I have my S/O by my side~"

...is what he said while you were in a heated argument with Miu about leaving Kokichi alone.

"That little shit came up to me first! What are you, fuckin' braindead?!"

After telling her that you didn't care, to just leave him alone, she scoffed.

"Whatever S/O. Why don't you stop riding his tiny little limp dick already?!"

You pretended you didn't hear her as you dragged Kokichi away from the situation and began lecturing him about getting into trouble.

"I-I'm sorry S/O! I never meant to hurt you! I'M SUCH A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND!"

Oh god.

More crying.

When he calms down, he wraps you in a very tight hug and gives you a kiss.

"I love you, S/O. I don't know what I'd do without you. Thank you."

And that wasn't a lie.

However, if anyone accuses him of being dependent on you, he will deny deny deny.

"Nishishishi~ I am the leader of an evil organization, and you think I need S/O to follow me around all day?"

You honestly find it hilarious because you know the truth.

Kokichi may lie to keep up his "image", but he secretly loves having you around. To him, you're basically home. He feels safe and secure around you, and he always feels bad for taking you for granted.

Your friends commend you for sticking with him for so long, and it always makes you smile.

It's all in a day's work.

#danganronpa x reader #danganronpa #imagine #headcanons #kokichi oma #kokichi x reader #kokichi

151 notes · View notes

pinkbalrog · 3 years

Text

Of Gods and Tombs

A Noragami Lost Tomb AU I decided to actually write up. Apologies for cultural errors. I probably could have researched more. No offense was meant. :) Feel free to comment. I consciously tried not to sink too much focus into this because I am a perfectionist and would have brooded over this for weeks, and I do have other projects! All supernatural elements are improvised, perhaps badly. I also wasn’t sure of Xiao Er Ye? Thoughts? I don’t know Chinese : (.

Mentioning @jockvillagersonly because they have been ridiculously nice. :)

Here we go!

Pangzi stared. The man stared back, holding Pangzi’s wilting incense in one hand. He’d been, savoring it? Maybe? Wide eyes stared back over a thin trail of smoke and, was he blushing?

“Who the FUC-”

“Shhhh!” the man lunged forward. He dropped the incense, wincing and grabbed Pangzi’s arm. “You’ll wake something up!”

“You’re something!”

“We can talk but—yes, I am?”

Pangzi got a handful of silk. Where did he get the hanfu? He jerked him close, eyes narrowed, grinning so hard his cheeks ached. “You,” he grated, “are not part of the expedition”.

Wide eyes blinked at him. “What expedition?” Pangzi cuffed him.

“You think I came in here alone? You did not come in with us.” The guy wasn’t frail, was pretty solid actually, but he had the look of a bird plucked out of a net.

“No. Obviously?” Thoughts moved rapidly behind his eyes, and he scanned Pangzi, taking in his sweat stained shirt, abraded hands, and his unshaven face. “You came with a group then, and you came up.” He pried off Pangzi’s grip and took a step towards the dark where Pangzi had dragged the heavy door mostly into place. “At least that’s the only way you’d be in this corridor, it’s inaccessible on this level.”

Pangzi gaped. He exclaimed, “Then how the hell did you get here?” The man ignored him, squatting down to look at Pangzi’s sleeping bag. Pangzi stepped in front of it defensively.

The man continued, “They must be dead, otherwise you wouldn’t be alone, and you need help”. He nodded at Pangzi, as if they were having a discussion. They were not.

Pangzi loomed over him. “Again, how are you here?”

The man rolled back on his heels, straightened, and damn well held his hands in front of him like he was lecturing. Long sleeves slid back from thin wrists. His hair was short, and not neat at all. “I’ve been here for a long time, and I need help too.”

“You,” Pangzi sputtered, “you need help. You look, look you’re not a ghost right? You would have already tried to kill me. Right. I’m sitting down for this.” And he threw himself down on the platform of the pitiful, wedged open coffin, nearly squashing his back pack. He crossed his arms. “Well, what’s your name?”

The guy, whoever he was, smiled hopefully. “You can call me Xiao Er Ye.”

Pangzi grunted. “Wang Pangzi”.

Xiao Er Ye bowed, weirdly formal.

Stretching out his legs, which ached from walking uneven corridors for literal days, Pangzi idly rifled through his bag until he had a good grip on his gun, then he pulled out a water bottle and let it hang from his hand. “And what are you anyway?”

“I’m a god.”

The bottle thunked on the floor. “What?”

Xiao Er Ye smiled wider.

Pangzi sneered. He waved his arms. “A god. Bullshit.” Whoever lost their lunatic in that pathetic village was probably wondering what hole they fell into. Pangzi’s hole apparently.

Xiao Er Ye regarded him steadily. “It’s true. Did you wonder why I had your incense?” Pangzi scoffed,

“Becasue you’re a weirdo?”

“Because your offering allowed me to appear to you.”

“Right. And that seems like a reasonable explanation to you?”

He was ridiculous, but he was really clean. There was fat on his bones, and his nails were neat. Pangzi let go of the gun, considering. The guy clearly got in here very recently, which meant there was a way out. Could Pangzi humor the lunatic to get out of a literal death trap? Hell yes.

“Oookay,” he drawled, “So you’re a god. I can see you. What do you need my help for, your holiness?”

Immediately, Xiao Er Ye sat close beside him. “I can’t leave here because someone is here in a trap meant for me. I can’t free him because the trap is meant for me.” He paused to see if Pangzi was following. Pangzi smiled wide. Apparently reassured, Xiao Er Ye went on, “and I’m having a hard enough time keeping the trap from doing what it’s supposed to do, which is make the whole thing even more inescapable. You’re mortal, so you can free him”.

Taking a drink, Pangzi considered. So yes, Xiao Er Ye was off his rocker. He put the cap back on and asked,

“But do you know a way out of here?”

“Yes, many.”

“And you’re still here.”

Xiao Er Ye set his jaw, obstinate. “I need help.”

Pangzi tapped the bottle. So, do one nonsensical thing and finally get out? Or do nothing and lose what might be a chance. He remembered red hands, gleaming wetly.

“Okay,” he said, and watched Xiao Er Ye light up. He was ridiculously easy to read. “Say I believe you. How does this work?”

“I lead you to the trap, and you follow my instructions. Then we get out.”

Pangzi eyed him incredulously. “Then we get out. No real plan for that?”

Xiao Er Ye grinned, gestured at the tomb around them, and said, “That’s the easy part.”

Pangzi snorted. “Easy he says.” He made a production of standing up, and folded, “You better not screw me over, your holiness.”

“Thank you.” Pangzi paused. Xiao Er Ye’s voice was soft, earnest, “Thank you Wang Pangzi.”

Pangzi huffed a laugh. Atleast this was a harmless idiot. “Yeah, you’re welcome, let’s go get your boyfriend, or whatever, and get out of here.”

Xiao Er Ye’s voice pitched up, “my whatever?” and he kept talking.

Ignoring him, Pangzi faced the door. Damn it, he had to shift it again.

. . .

Pangzi reconsidered this decision. He reconsidered it strongly. Ripping another lotus arrow out of his shirt he threw it at Xiao Er Ye. Xiao Er Ye dodged, and it clicked on the floor with all the others. This was trap number six. He tried to stay calm.

“And why,” he hissed, “Are you setting off every trap in this godsdamned tomb? How are there even this many left? Didn’t you come this way? Why aren’t you dead? Are you dead? Are you a fucking ghost because so help me I will hit you.”

Turns out, Xiao Er Ye was right about the corridor earlier being inaccessible from that level, but you could climb up another pit trap. Pangzi was getting very tired of squeezing up pit traps, and apparently this guy just clambered up and down them? Without getting dirty? Without seeming flustered in the least? Maybe his people put him in the hole on purpose. Was this all just enrichment? Even the spear traps? It was a fucking blessing that they seemed to be malfunctioning, or aged past effectiveness.

Xiao Er Ye looked sheepish, shrugging. “I forgot to worry about them? I’m usually not materially here when I walk around, but you need to see me and get past them so...”

Pangzi took a deep breath and counted to ten. “I need a drink”.

“Are you hurt though?” and now Xiao Er Ye was all sharp-eyed and attentive, all his focus on Pangzi, on his bruises and battered ego. Pangzi’s shoulders slumped.

“From this?” he shook his head and clapped a hand on Xiao Er Ye’s shoulder, “I’m fine. Can we just—what is THAT?”

There were hands, white, emaciated hands pressing through the stones at their feet. Black writhed up. Shrieking, Pangzi stomped, and stomped again.

Xiao Er Ye was stomping too, ranting, “Oh not again, no no I will not humor you. Do you want to be dead? Really? I told you no!”

The hands shrank back with a plaintive keen and one last lingering caress on Xiao Er Ye’s leg.

Pangzi and Xiao Er Ye stood there, breathing heavily. Their eyes met. Xiao Er Ye wore a strained smile and he looked, desperate.

“So,” Pangzi stepped past Xiao Er Ye, careful not to step on any cracks, “Where next?” He didn’t look back, but he heard Xiao Er Ye take a shaky breath.

“Down this way. We’re almost there.”

. . .

“Almost there” was a lie. Pangzi sympathized, he did. It seemed Xiao Er Ye really believed a friend of his was down here; but the longer it took to reach, whatever it was, the more Pangzi worried he wouldn’t get the chance to talk Xiao Er Ye down, and nudge him towards showing both of them out of the tomb. He did not want to wander until he starved, or end up like his former team mates, spattered across the walls of a noisome pit.

The corridors were getting smoother, more ornate, and Pangzi swore he could feel fresh air vented in from somewhere. Xiao Er Ye was silent now, heading doggedly forward. Finally, he turned a corner, and, in the light of Pangzi’s flashlight, there were massive doors, green gold bronze with jade inset panels. They glimmered, untouched by dust. In fact, and here Pangzi swung his flashlight around, splendor wasn’t confined to the doors. There were murals faded but intricate all over the walls of the corridor.

There was no way to smuggle those doors out, but Pangzi wanted. His fingers twitched. Why had the expedition come in on a lower grade? If they’d realized the tomb was mostly vertical, that stuff like this was at the top, well, this would have been a different raid altogether. It was quiet, hushed but for the sound of Pangzi’s and Xiao Er Ye’s foot steps, the sound of their breathing, and the rustle of Xiao Er Ye’s ornate coat as he strode forward.

The doors swung open at a touch, soundlessly, and, hesitating in the corridor, Pangzi believed for the first time, that maybe Xiao Er Ye was non-human, at least a little. Was this really real? He pinched himself, which hurt. Nothing changed.

What prayers had he used, when he lit the incense? He lost track sometimes. Was he even doing any of them correctly? “Pangzi?” Xiao Er Ye’s voice echoed.

Pangzi swallowed his nerves, steeled his gut and called back, “Yeah, yeah I’m coming.” Inside was a riot of gold statues, positioned as an audience, a circle of jade set into a stone platform, intact the whole way around, and a man suspended in the air, curled defensively, dark hair falling over his shoulders. Long sleeves of richest, deepest blue, hung from his slender frame, and as Pangzi crept closer, rapt, he saw that the man’s face was ridiculously pretty. He seemed asleep. He was definitely, no doubt about it, floating.

“What.”

“I told you,” that was Xiao Er Ye, his voice grim. He was standing at the edge of the jade circle, intent on the characters carved inside it. He was holding out his hands, and for the first time, in the weird eldritch light the whole thing gave off, Pangzi could see scars on Xiao Er Ye’s palms and wrists, as if they’d but cut with a straight blade. Xiao Er ye shook, straining to reach with everything in him.

“Please, Pangzi, you can break it.”

Pangzi felt, calm, as if he was in his home town, standing outside the Lucky Frog bar, staring into the fervid eyes of old man Wei. His voice was even,

“What happened to your hands?”

“My hands?” Xiao Er Ye drew back, glancing at his palms, “What does it matter?” he looked back at the circle, “I tried to put more of me in the circle, to get it to grab me but blood didn’t work, or hair. They just, evaporated, or fell apart on contact and nothing works. Please, break it.”

“How long have you, right—What do I do?”

Xiao Er Ye’s instructions apparently, amounted to “break it” all his easy words gone. Pangzi tried wedging the jade up, but he couldn’t get any purchase, and blunt force didn’t even dent it. He sat, panting, and chugged the last of his water. Xiao Er Ye stood by, fretting.

“I can’t, not like this.”

“What?” Xiao Er Ye hunched, looking very small.

Pangzi stood with effort, and stretched, turning to loosen the muscles of his core. “So you’re a god huh, sure it’s not that guy? He looks more, holy.”

Xiao Er Ye’s face was stone. It was unnatural. “I’m a god. He’s Xiao ge” and he said Xiao ge as if, of all things in the world, that he was most sure of.

“So you can get us out, if say, I blow up the room?”

Xiao Er Ye burst forward, breathless and all glimmering silk, “You can do that?”

Pangzi bared his teeth, “Oh hell yeah.”

. . .

Turns out it was a good thing he’d lugged all those incendiaries up so many floors. It took a while, but Xiao Er Ye had surprisingly steady hands once he had something to do with them. He talked to Xiao ge as he worked, but it wasn’t any dialect Pangzi knew, and he didn’t ask. At the last, Xiao Er Ye made Pangzi stand close, so close that he could smell incense and something like petrichor.

Xiao Er Ye met his eyes and Pangzi hit the trigger.

. . .

The world was dust. Dust and nothing. No sound or feeling, like the world fell away. It cut back in as a blade to the throat.

A literal blade. Pangzi was suddenly, viscerally aware of sun, beaming down on him, of the rumble and clatter of stone as the chamber collapsed around them, radiating outward. He ached, he was thirtsy, his stomach drew in, his breath caught, and they were out.

Xiao Er Ye was standing behind Xiao-ge, who was awake, with a predatory gaze pinned on Pangzi’s face. He held a black and gold sword against Pangzi’s throat and one arm was held out in front of Xiao Er Ye. Xiao Er Ye blinked, looking dazed.

“Uh” Pangzi tried again, throat dry, “Xiao Er Ye?”

The god shook his head, drew a deep breath, and noticed Xiao ge. “Xiao ge!”

He threw himself on him dragging him away from Pangzi. Xiao ge went willingly raising a long fingered hand to Xiao Er Ye’s arm, gazing into his face with an intensity that hurt to look at. Xiao Er Ye, reverent, cupped his face, grazing his thumbs beneath ink dark eyes. He breathed out, bright eyed, “You’re awake.”

Pangzi found somewhere else to look. All that shattered gold looked promising.

. . .

The chamber they’d broken was indeed, at the top of the tomb, and had seemingly been built atop an older structure, carved out from inside the tomb so that it was built on top of a place of death, so that it would draw Xiao Er Ye up. From where, Pangzi didn’t ask. What he knew was that there were trees, green and rustling, and sunlight warm on his face. The underbrush was thick, but they managed to find a route that wouldn’t exhaust them within an hour. Pangzi got out his kukri, and Xiao-ge put his sword to better use.

Together, they made their way through the trees, Xiao-ge going ahead, presumably to clear the way of threats, like squirrels. He’d tied back his heavy sleeves and accepted a torn bit of silk from Xiao Er Ye to pull back his hair. Pangzi watched him go, then turned to Xiao Er Ye, who practically glowed. Was he literally glowing? It was hard to tell. The god stood on his toes, soft eyed and open, watching where Xiao ge went.

Pangzi cleared his throat, and asked, “So if you’re a god, what’s he?”

Xiao Er Ye started, then settled back on his heels. “Oh! He’s a Hafuri vessesl!” Pangzi looked at him, dead eyed. “Oh, it means he is the most loyal and, potent? Of shinki, of named spirits that serve a god.”

Pangzi mulled that over. He dug out a few protein bars and made to hand one to Xiao Er Ye, who declined. “Named spirits?”

“Gods give spirits a new existence with a name. He is Xiao ge. He becomes a tattoo! It’s beautiful.”

Pangzi unwrapped his bar and replied, “Right. A tattoo.” He drew himself up, and bit the bullet, asking, “And what god are you?”

But it was Xiao-ge who answered, stealthy as a cat creeping up on them, regarding Xiao Er Ye with a warm gaze, “Qinguang Wang”.

Pangzi choked. “What?”

The God of death and misfortune ducked his head, then smirked impishly, leaning into Pangzi’s personal space. Neatly, he swung Pangzi around to face forward, and rested his with an arm over Pangzi’s shoulders. “And you’re a Priest now!”

Pangzi stopped dead. “What.” He blinked, raised a hand to his chin, and asked carefully, “Are there perks?”

The god’s laughter pealed out, obnoxiously loud. Xiao ge’s lip twitched upward. He glanced at Pangzi, and intoned, nodding gravely, “Do well.” He resumed his walk ahead of them.

Pangzi shrugged off the—his god’s arm and stomped after him, “And what is that supposed to mean? I haven’t even agreed to this yet!”

. . .

Pangzi insisted that the shrine have a full size kitchen and more than one Hello Kitty egg timer.

Fin

#noragami #noragami au #the lost tomb #wu xie #pangzi #xiao ge #fic #dmbj fic #dmbj #god dmbj au #just for fun #should be researched more #sorry it's not very thorough #not used to writing fics #other things but not fics

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eureka-its-zico · 3 years

Text

Pretty As A Picture

requested by @leetaeilsnecktattoo as part of my 100 Smut Dialogue Prompts requests

A/N: Well, I tried my best. I hope this feels worth the wait. Thank you for requesting and letting me be a part of making something special for you.

Lee Tae-il X Reader

Words: 1456

Genre: SmUt

Warnings: rough play, overstimulation(?), and a little tying up

Taeil had been sweet in gifting you your very own Fuji film camera. Sure, it wasn’t anything crazy expensive, like he figured you’d ask for on your birthday. To you it wasn’t a luxury you could really afford at the moment.

Until you’d opened up the awkwardly placed ribbons, definitely self-wrapped, present from your boyfriend.

Taeil had lit up like a kid on Christmas watching you. He knew without having to ask how much you loved the surprise, but still the question floated between you.

“Do you love it?”

“Love it?!” You gushed. “Taeil this is amazing! Thank you so, so much babe!”

And now here you were. Weeks later. Not a single picture taken and shook out. You wanted your first picture to be something special and meaningful. A tradition you wanted to make for each new roll of film that was placed inside.

You’d thought of florals. Of architecture and art. Every aesthetic under the moon. Even the moon itself and still none of it seemed original.

You were laying on the bed, your head turned and mopping at the camera on the nightstand. You were so busy being lost in your own head you didn’t hear when Taeil entered. Your body giving a defensive jerk when his weight pressed down on the mattress.

“God, Taeil. You scared me!”

Your hand was on your heart for the added effect and he only regarded you with amusement. A smile turning up his lips as he moved closer to you.

“Yes, because me walking into our bedroom through the door that faces you is super scary.”

You playfully pushed at his bare chest and his arms easily circled around you.

“It’s like you’re a ghost or something.”

You looked at him in mock horror. His laughter filled the room and you let your head rest in the elbow of his arm. Cradled there you were able to watch his small laugh lines he hated along with the darkening skin where his five o’clock shadow was coming in.

Your fingers reached out to softly touch along the edge of his jaw. Tracing it like it was your first time doing it. As if you hadn’t done it a million times before. Every time he left and every time he returned did somehow feel like it was your first time all over again.

This time was no different. He’s only been gone for not even the full length of the week. Even then, it had still felt like an eternity. Plus, you weren’t really the greatest at phone sex. You much rather preferred him here, like this, with his skin in reach of your nails that missed marking him.

Taeil quieted down completely by the time you reached his chin. The laughter still sparked in his eyes, but something else you knew all too well was beginning to take over.

His own tattooed hand mimicking your earlier movement; fingers tracing along your jawline until it dropped below your neck. He scanned your face for any sign that you weren’t prepared for what happened next. You opened up to him more by moving your head to where he had easier access to your lips. Your neck raising up enough to invite him to place his mouth on yours.

Taeil did just that.

The kiss started off soft and slow. You knew, however, that in a matter of seconds it would turn into something more. A kiss that demanded for you to surrender to him and be devoured from the mouth down. He did just that as his arm wrapped around you and his hand moved down to grab a handful of your ass.

A soft moan left you and vibrated against your lips. The same hand he’d used now trailed its way to hook behind your knee and pulled it over his legs. Bringing you closer together and able to feel his hard length pressed against your abdomen.

The idea of him hard sent a delicious shiver down your spine. Your own arm wormed its way between your bodies to play at the waistband of his sweats. You could feel him getting ready to disconnect from the kiss. To tell you you weren’t allowed to be the first to touch, but you always loved being punished.

You pushed your hand down past his waistband and your hand instantly found him. His shaft was hard and smooth as you ran your hand along his length. Your fingers ending at his tip; your thumb tracing around its edge until it smeared across the pre-cum.

Taeil completely disconnected from you now. His hand that had lovingly squeezed your ass now at your wrist and tugging it gently from his sweats.

“Did you get permission to touch me?”

You shook your head. The both of you knowing you’d done it on purpose. Eager for whatever punishment he had in store.

“On your back.”

Taeil was already moving himself off the bed and moving to the nightstand. Your heart was racing as you did as you were told. Your head turned to watch him rummage through the drawer until he removed rope and an egg shaped sex toy from inside.

He came back to the side of the bed and motioned for you to begin to undress. His hands moving up to take each piece of clothing and tossing it behind his shoulder. Once you were completely naked, he instructed for you to lay back on the bed.

“Arms up, Princess.”

You wanted to make him work for it, but decided against it. Your core already slick and wet just from imagining what he was about to do.

He made quick work of tying up each wrist to the bedposts. Asking you to tug a few times just to make sure he’d had them secure enough.

You watched as Taeil moved to stand at the end of the bed. One hand still holding the toy and the other helping him on the edge. Every movement sent his body into a moving piece of art. The way his biceps flexed to keep himself up as he moved on the bed. How his chest muscles tightened from the strain.

You tried to get some friction for the aching between your thighs and found none. Taeil kept them open and left you keening with your hips thrusting upwards for him to touch you.

“How badly do you want me to touch you.”

“Badly,” you whispered.

“I’m sorry. What was that?”

He sent a hand to rest on your thigh. His fingers moving and drawing little figures that he knew.

“I want you to touch me so bad! Please. Please touch me, baby.”

You moved your hips towards him for added emphasis. The movement left you open and exposed to him and Taeil eagerly drank you in.

“Stay still.”

You did your best to do as he asked, but damn if it wasn’t hard. He moved the vibrator from his other hand and turned it on and placed it at your inner thigh. The small vibration a tease that you felt, but needed more. He continued to move it down and then back up. Every time it got closer and closer to your core.

You were about to go mad from this endless teasing when he finally slid the vibrater over your wet slit. A gasp arching your back as you followed it up through with another stroke. The sensation was enough to leave you gasping with a plea on your lips until he buried it down between your slit and onto your clit.

A moan tore free from you and your hands wrapped around the rope. His hand massaged the vibrator around your clit. He kept it from becoming too much and at times, left it when you thought you were going to scream from the pleasure and aching sensitivity.

When you were close to your orgasm Taeil wrapped his free hand around your throat. His index finger diving between your lips and demanding that you suck it as you came. He held the vibrator at your core even after your orgasm had finished. The feeling euphoric and painful and drug another orgasm from you screaming, and wrists shaking at their restraints.

At some point, Taeil’s hand and the vibrator had left you. The sound of a shutter clicking a few times slowly brought you out of your daze.

You opened your eyes and found him staring at a picture he’d taken on your camera. A smirk on his lips.

“You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat.”

He showed you the photo in question. Taeil had taken it in the middle of your second orgasm. Your face contorted and mouth open and his hand did indeed look good on your throat.

#requested #leetaeilsnecktattoo #lee tae-il #lee tae-il smut #lee tae-il fanfiction #lee tae-il scenarios #lee tae-il one shots #block b #block b smut #block b fanfiction #block b scenarios #block b one shots #100 smut prompt dialogue #kpop smut #kpop #kpop scenarios #kpop one shots #kpop fanfic

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managedmischiefs · 3 years

Text

north//chapter nineteen

genre: fluff!! some angst

warnings: mentions of prison, ptsd and its symptoms (flashbacks, kinda)

word count: 6.1k

summary: spencer gets home and amelia helps him keep his head on straight.

pairing: season twelve/thirteen spencer reid x oc

AMELIA

Stepping back into my apartment after being away for over twenty-four hours is such a relief. Spencer, for some reason, didn't want to go back to his own apartment, so I happily bring him right to mine.

He's half asleep in my passenger seat, his head resting against the window and his hand smushed against his cheek. Despite the challenging circumstances, at every red light, I gaze over to admire how adorable he looks with puffy cheeks and flushed skin. He's fighting sleep as we journey to my apartment, and even though I've told him that he doesn't have to, I still see him forcing his eyes open every few seconds.

When we're just a few minutes from my apartment, I finally speak up. "So," I murmur, and he lifts his head slightly, "do you wanna do anything when we get home, or do you wanna go right to sleep?"

Spencer shakes his head and adjusts his position so he's leaning more towards me, his head almost resting on my shoulder. "I'm really tired but I'm hungry. And I wanna shower too. Do you have my stuff at your apartment still?"

"Of course I do, doll," I smile, reaching my hand over to rest on his cheek, keeping my eyes on the road. "I have your go-bag too. So a shower, some food, and then sleep. We can do that," Spencer turns his head and kisses my palm, capturing my hand in his and bring them into his lap. I pull up in front of my apartment and park my car, smiling over at my hazy and sleepy boyfriend. "Here, Spence."

We climb out of my car and go trudging up to my apartment, and I push my keys into the lock. I twist it but it doesn't make the clicking sound to tell me it's unlocked, so I pull out the keys. I put them in again and twist one more time, and when the lock doesn't click, I pull the keys out for the second time. I figure that my friends might just be major idiots and have forgotten to lock the door after they left yesterday, so I tuck the keys in my pocket and twist the knob. It pops right open. Great. My door has been unlocked for over twenty-four hours.

Spencer isn't paying much mind to this though as we trudge in, kicking off our shoes. I hang up my jacket and turn to Spencer to ask for his jacket so I can put it in the washer, but his gaze is somewhere else. I follow where he's looking and find that the balcony doors are slightly open, and I roll my eyes. This keeps happening to me. These damn balcony doors. Between the balcony and front doors being open, I'm surprised that all of my belongings aren't completely gone.

"Don't worry about it, Spence," I tell him, dramatically flipping the lock on my front door so we can both hear the clicking noise and then padding across my apartment to flip the lock on the balcony door. Honestly though, my hands are trembling as I touch the knobs. Why are my door continuously unlocked? I try to brush it off for Spencer's sake. "My friends were here when I left to pick you up and I'm sure they forgot to close and lock everything. It's fine. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it."

Spencer nods and rubs his eyes, then begins to speak through a loud yawn. "You should yell at your friends."

It's just another moment of the old Spencer shining through the armor that the new Spencer is wearing. This exhausted and bleary and witty version of my boyfriend is who I have embedded in my brain, not the version who yells at me and throws books at walls and jumps away from my touch. I wish I could frame this moment and hang it on the wall.

"Come on," I wave him towards the kitchen and he follows me blindly, falling into a barstool at the island, leaning his elbows against the granite. The sleeves of his dress shirt are rolled up and his forearms are far too distracting for anyone's good, and I have to tear my eyes away from him before I get carried away. I'm just too deprived of sex and satisfaction that maybe any intimate sight of Spencer will get me going. Even if it's his hands, or his forearms, or his fingers-- oh god, look away.

"Is there anything specific you want?" I take a glance through my fridge at the ingredients I have before turning back to him. His hands are on his cheeks now, distorting his face in that same adorable way it was in the car. "I'll make you whatever you're feeling."

"Just something, um," he speaks quietly, "easy. Pancakes, or something."

"Sure, I can do that," I reach into the cupboard and pull out the pancake mix, retrieving a bowl and a skillet.

"I'm gonna go put a record on," Spencer drags himself out of his chair and into the living room and I can hear him rummaging through the mess in there.

He's utterly exhausted. I've seen him tired after cases, but never liked this. He can barely even speak a full sentence or walk in a straight line. So I combine ingredients quickly, hoping that the stove warms up at lightning speed so I can cook these pancakes as fast as possible. I want to get Spencer food, and then into a shower, and then into bed. I couldn't care less about my needs. I just can't bear seeing him dragging himself around like this anymore.

My ears perk up when the record scratches and then the music starts, and State of Grace by Taylor Swift starts playing. I watch Spencer come back in and sit down again, his eyes closed as he absorbs the music. I expected him to put on one of the many classical records I have, like Mozart or Beethoven or Brahms. But no, he put on Taylor Swift. I choose not to comment on the music choice and instead, I pour the batter on the hot skillet.

It's only five minutes before I have a stack of pancakes and I've run out of batter. I turn off the burner and divide up the pancakes onto two plates, grabbing two forks and the maple syrup from the fridge. Spencer gives me a tiny smile as he reaches for his plate, digging in without even waiting for the syrup.

I drizzle a fair amount of syrup on my own pancakes and then pick up my fork, about to eat my first meal in twenty-four hours, but then I look at Spencer. He's scarfing down his food like his life depends on it, and I wonder if he's even chewing it at all. His head is bowed all the way down, nose almost touching the pancake stack as he snakes his fork under his chin, and his free hand is on the table with his fingers spread, and before I can blink again, he's halfway through his plate.

"Hey, hey, Spence," I reach my hand out for him, but he doesn't react. This is what happened when he threw the book. He got in his head, then I touched him, and he freaked out. I can't let that happen again. So I sit up on my knees and lean toward him, placing my hands flat against the table so, again, he can see that I don't plan on touching him or using them against him. "Spencer, look at me," he digs his fork into the pancake but his hand falters, slowing down. "Eyes up here, dove."

Spencer's eyes slowly travel up until they lock with mine, and they hold the same panicked qualities that they did post-book-throwing. I offer him a smile, but he doesn't give one back, not that I expected him to.

"Spencer," I speak slowly and calmly, "nobody's here. It's just you and me. You can slow down. You have all the time in the world to eat," Spencer takes a labored breath through his nose and shakes his head, closing his eyes. "I promise, dove, and you know I don't break my promises. You can slow down, you can just be with me. You're with me, and that's it."

"It's just--" he hangs his head and then opens his eyes, staring at his half-empty plate, "sitting like this. It feels-- it feels like-- it just-- it's--"

For some reason, I understand what he can't say. From how he's sitting in such a defensive and protected position and now he's saying that there's a problem with how he's sitting, it makes sense to me. Somehow, sitting like his makes him think of sitting and eating in prison and having to, I don't know, protect his food, maybe. I don't know much of anything about prison but I didn't think that it would change the way he eats meals.

"Okay, okay," I cut off his stuttering, nodding softly so I can seem as understanding as possible. "Come on then," I pull back my hands and grab my plate, sliding off the barstool and pressing my back against the kitchen cabinets, slowly sliding down. "How about we sit on the floor? Would that be okay?"

Spencer stares at me sliding onto the floor and it takes him quite a while to grab onto his plate and join me. He slides down beside me and extends his legs in front of him, setting his plate on his lap. He takes a long, deep breath and starts slicing into his pancakes again, much slower this time.

"Is this better?" I ask softly. "You can tell me if it's not because we could move somewhere else," I start to cut into my own food again, keeping my eyes on him.

"Yeah," he murmurs, and then he slumps down a little bit more so he can rest his head on my shoulder. Spencer is eating like a snail now, moving his hand so slowly that I have to keep looking down to make sure he hasn't fallen asleep on my shoulder. We just eat in tense silence, and as badly as I want to touch him and comfort him and smother him in love like I imagined I would be by now, I get the feeling that he would hate that and it would overwhelm him.

Not surprisingly, Spencer finishes his pancakes before me and gently places his fork down on his plate, setting his trembling hands flat on his lap. I expect Spencer to get up and discard his plate in the sink or the dishwasher and then head upstairs and jump in a shower, but he doesn't move. He stays right beside me with his head on my shoulder so I start to pick up my eating pace so we can get going. If he's not going to move without me then I don't want to make him sit here forever.

"Can I take your plate for you?" I whisper once I've finally finished my pancakes. The sun has fully risen and is blaring through the windows, and it feels so twisted to be so exhausted, so early in the morning.

Spencer nods, but he doesn't offer the plate up to me. I pick it up off his lap gingerly and wait for Spencer to lift his head before standing, putting them in the sink to deal with later. I turn back to Spencer, who's still on the floor, and hold my hands out to him to help him up. He looks at my feet first, and then incredibly slowly drags his eyes up my body until his eyes lock with mine. He seems so distant. He seems so far away and so far gone. His eyes are glossed over and his movements are like that of a sloth, starkly contrasting his quick actions just a few minutes before.

I very gently thrust my hands forward again, wiggling my fingers in his direction to get his attention. "Let's go get you in a shower, okay? I bet it'll make you feel a lot better."

Spencer looks up at me with a heartbreaking gaze, as if he can't even see me. As if he's staring right through me. As if he can't even see me at all. But then he pushes himself up by his lonesome and runs his hands down his face.

"Um," he breathes, his voice so low that I barely hear it, "thank you for-- you know, for the food," He keeps his eyes down on the floor, his body turned slightly away from me as if he's cowering from my touch again.

"No need to thank me, love. But let's just head upstairs and get you into a shower, okay?" I wave him out of the kitchen and he slumps off towards the stairs.

I watch him go, and once he gets on the first step, I go into the living room to shut off the record that Spencer has put on. Taylor Swift, huh? I have to make a mental note to ask Spencer about that when we're better rested.

Once I've put the record away, I follow Spencer up the stairs and I find him rummaging through my closet, already having dumped out all the items from his go-bag on the bed. His back is turned to me, too focused on finding clothes in my closet. I go to the pile of clothes and separate the work clothes from his pajamas, making two separate sections for him and trying to smooth out wrinkles from the fabrics.

"Sweets," even when I speak, he doesn't acknowledge my presence, "what are you looking for in there? I know you've got some clothes in there but you've got two whole sets of pajamas right here. They're clean, I've cleaned these clothes."

"I need a white tee-shirt," Spencer tells me and his voice is sharper now. It's not quiet and timid like in the kitchen. It's the exact opposite of the man that was just in my apartment a moment ago.

"Why?" I look down at the pair of pajama pants and the crew neck on the bed in front of me, right next to a different pair of pajamas, a matching silk set that Spencer commonly wears to sleep. Why isn't this good enough for him? If anything, this will keep him more comfortable during bed than just a tee-shirt. "There's two pajama sets right here for you that--"

"I need a white tee shirt, okay?!" Spencer snaps, turning his head to me, but still never looking me in the eye. "I need to wear a white tee-shirt to bed!"

I let out a shaky breath at the venom dripping from his mouth, reaching for the clothes in front of me and just grasping them in my hand, grasping for something to ground me. Although, maybe I'm not the one who needs the grounding right now.

I hear Spencer sigh behind me as he finds a white tee-shirt, and when he comes to the bed beside me, he takes a pair of pajama pants and boxers out of my hands. I move around him to put the other clothes back into his go bag, setting it in the corner of the room and then sifting through my closet for a crew neck and a pair of shorts. I do everything in my power to forgive and forget the moment that is making my hands tremble and my head dizzy. Spencer never yells. And he definitely never yells at me.

I hear the bathroom door open as I put my clothes onto the bed and pull off my tank top, but when I don't hear the water turn on, I turn to check on Spencer. He's still standing in the doorway, clutching his clothes in his hands and staring at the shower door.

"Spence?" He jumps when I speak his name as if he momentarily forgot that I was in the same room as him. And when he turns to me, he's back to the man he was in the kitchen. Quiet, timid, desperate. His eyes are pleading for me, and I feel helpless knowing I don't know exactly how to help him. I disregard my clothes and walk toward him, but don't make an effort to touch him. "Love, you can shower, it's okay. You'll feel much better when you wash off all the sweat and grossness of the--" I pause, wanting to say one certain word but knowing I shouldn't. I settle with a safer word, "day."

Spencer pouts his pretty lips and his hands tighten around the pile of clothes in his hands. "Could you-- um-- could you come with me? I don't wanna be alone right now," and perhaps it seems like a rude comparison, but he looks like a small child. He looks like a child who's woken up from a nightmare, clutching his pillow to his chest, asking his mom to come to his room to scare away the monster under his bed. But I'll never be able to scare away the monster under Spencer's bed. We both know that and we both seem to be ignoring it. For now, we'll pretend that I can remedy every issue in the world and continue on with our day.

I toss my tank top into the hamper across the room and then walk over to Spencer, leaning against the doorframe across from him. "Are you gonna be comfortable with that, dove?"

Spencer nods quickly, his hair falling in front of his eyes. "I'll be okay. I really don't wanna be alone. I want you."

I glance at the shower and then back at Spencer with his greasy hair and his half-lidded eyes and his hunched shoulders, and I nod. If he gets uncomfortable again, I'll just get out. He needs a shower more than me anyway, and if I need to get out of the shower because he doesn't want me touching him, then it's not the end of the world. Spencer breathes a sigh of relief and steps fully into the bathroom, setting his clothes on the sink counter. I grab two towels from the closet and start the shower, leaving the door open a crack so the steam can escape.

Spencer strips off his clothes before I do and, holy shit, I almost gasp. Now, for the millionth time, I have no idea what prison is like. I only know tiny bits of what Spencer went through, like getting beat up and eventually stabbing himself and getting thrown into solitary confinement. I don't know what he did during the time that he was stuck in his cell by himself, or what he did to pass the time when he wasn't in his cell. Honestly, I don't really know what he did at all in prison.

But holy shit. Spencer's arms are far more toned than I remember them to be and his stomach is too, and if Derek Morgan were here, I'd bet good money that he would be impressed. Even Spencer's calves and quads look more toned than before, and every time he moves, every one of his muscles flexes in the most delicious and sexy way. How much did he work out in prison? Did he work out every second of every day? I wasn't expecting this type of transformation from him, but he's been full of surprises. And after a moment of staring, I wonder if this is a good change or not.

"Why are you staring?" Spencer has just reached for the waistband of his boxers but paused when he saw me standing still and staring, then his hands stilled.

"Um," I have to physically jerk my head to the side to break my gaze and force my eye line up to his pupils, "sorry, I was just-- you--"

"I what?" Spencer retorts, and thankfully, he doesn't sound angry. He sounds genuinely curious.

"You just look different. More, you know, muscular," I try to choose my words carefully because I don't want to offend him. I don't want to make it seem like I hate his body now, or that I hated his body before prison because neither is the case. I could never hate his body. I'm not with him for his body. His body is beautiful regardless. This is just such a difference from what I'm used to seeing from my boyfriend. This is just another part of him that has been taken away from him. His soft body is gone as if he has morphed himself into an intimidating alpha male. I never wanted an alpha male. I've only ever wanted my Spencer.

"I worked out a lot," Spencer mumbles vaguely. He barely tells me any details about prison. The most he told me was while we were eating. And even still, he didn't give me specifics during dinner. He left me to guess exactly what was wrong. It's all been vague so far. I'm not sure if that's because he's protecting me or because he just can't bring himself to talk about it yet.

"Let's get in the shower so we can get some sleep," I want to nudge him towards the open shower curtain and the warm, streaming water. But Spencer moves on his own, shuffling towards the shower and quickly discarding his boxers.

He seems hesitant to get into the water at first, just standing at the edge of the tub and letting the water hit his toes first. Spencer stares at the stream of water, reaching his foot out a bit more to get his ankle and shin wet. I watch him carefully for a moment, just to make sure he doesn't freak out like he has a few times already today.

Spencer's head turns to me and he gives me a pleading look, his eyebrows scrunched up and his bottom lip between his teeth. He's clearly keeping tears at bay, trying to prevent his chin from quivering. "Lia," he stammers, but doesn't say anything else. A single tear falls down his cheek.

I quickly pull off my undergarments and move the shower door back a little bit more, stepping into the tub so I'm in the stream of water. I hold my hands out for him, and this time, he actually grabs onto them. I draw him closer to me. Not closer to the stream of water, but just closer to my body.

"It's just water, Spence," I tip my head back and wet my mane of curls, matting them down to my head. "It actually feels really good."

"It's just," Spencer shuffles just a little bit closer to me. The tips of his toes touch mine, his whole body flinching when a droplet of water ricochets off of me and hits his chest, "the showers were always cold."

"Oh," I turn and look at the knobs behind me that control the water temperature, "I can make it cold if you want. It's not a big deal if--"

"No, no, I don't want that," he shakes his head, clutching my hands tightly in his. "I don't wanna take another cold shower. It just feels weird. I'm not used to it."

I scrunch up my nose, unlacing our hands and tracing my fingertips up his forearms. I wonder if I should even let myself touch his biceps because if I do, I might completely lose my cool and want to jump his bones. Clearly, he's not ready for sex or any kind of physical intimacy. I didn't even expect us to be showering together any time soon. "I don't like cold showers, either. You know that. Do you wanna get under the water?"

Spencer nods and grabs my hands again, switching our spots so he's directly under the stream. I don't let go of him as he sighs of relief, the water falling over his face and making his hair stick to his forehead. He closes his eyes, dropping his shoulders down. This is, by far, the most relaxed I've seen him all day. He seemed to be relaxed in the car, but now, he has completely let his guard down for the first time. It's a beautiful sight, truly. It's beautiful to see him running his hands through his hair and reaching for his shampoo and fluttering his eyelids. He's always been so beautiful.

I shave my legs while Spencer washes his body, and he spends quite a lot of time doing so. I'm not surprised that he wants to wash every germ off his body, I'd expected that much. And we keep in silence, just washing away the stress and drama and hardships of the last few months. I wish that a simple shower could wash away all the pain that we've been cursed with, but I know that this pain may never go away. The pain of this time will always linger, no matter how hard we try to eradicate it.

"Are you gonna shave?" I ask, switching places one more time with Spencer so I could wash my face.

"You said you liked it so--"

"Yeah, but it's your face. If you wanna shave, then shave. Don't let me stop you," I wipe away the soap from my eyes and smile at Spencer, gesturing to where his razor still sits along the wall.

Spencer runs his hands over his face, feeling his mustache and beard on his fingertips. "I'll keep it for now. Maybe tomorrow I'll clean it up a little but I don't wanna deal with it today."

"Well let's go get some sleep, okay?" I turn around and shut off the water, wringing out my hair so it doesn't drip onto the floor. Spencer gets out and quickly wraps himself in a towel, and when I step out a moment after him, he hands my towel to me. "Thanks."

I head out of the bathroom and reach for my clothes, pulling on a pair of underwear and one of Spencer's old tee-shirts. I dry off my hair a little bit and sit on the edge of the bed, putting lotion on my legs and keeping my eyes on the bathroom door for when Spencer eventually comes out.

He takes forever to get dressed, but when he does, he's wearing a pair of sweatpants and a white tee-shirt, his hair soaked and hanging over his forehead. He drops his towel in the hamper and then he turns on his heel to join me in bed, but freezes in his spot when he sees my towel on the floor. He quickly picks it up off the floor and puts it into the hamper, then he scans the floor of the room for anything else that could be out of place.

"Babe?" I close off the lid on my bottle of lotion and put it away, watching him put a pair of my shoes into the closet and then jam the door closed. "Spencer, if you really wanna clean, do it when you can actually keep your eyes open. Come get some sleep, please."

Spencer lets out an exasperated sigh as his hands drop from the closet handle, and then they smooth through his hair. He nods silently, and his toes drag against the carpet as he brings himself towards the bed.

He falls onto his side, pulling back the duvet and slipping under, letting out a sound close to a moan as his body sinks into the bed. His head falls onto the pillow and he moans louder, his body wiggling under the covers. I smile at his pure and unfiltered ecstasy and pleasure, doing the same and slipping under the duvet with him.

I keep a bit of distance between us though. Usually, I'd slide my leg through his and wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his chest and get as close to him as I possibly can. But he's so caught up in the familiarity and comfortability of my bed that I don't want to overwhelm him by touching him. I want him to enjoy his first time in a proper bed in months and not worry about my hands on his skin.

I let out a roaring yawn, rolling onto my side to face Spencer. Now that I'm laying in bed, my exhaustion is setting in yet again. I pull the duvet up to my chin and close my eyes, trying to let myself drift off to sleep.

I'm just about to dip into dreamland when I feel Spencer shift beside me, facing me. I try to ignore it, try to bring myself closer to sleep, try to let us both get the rest that we so desperately need. But I can sense Spencer's gaze on me, and as hard as I try to, I can't ignore it. I just want him to go to sleep. I want him to sleep so he can regenerate and hopefully feel better whenever it is that we wake up. But my forehead is burning with his stare and I can't stop feeling it. Clearly, something is affecting him and that's why he hasn't tried to sleep yet.

To my surprise, Spencer's voice is the one to break through the silence. "Baby?" He's shaky. He's trembling. He's unsure.

I open my eyes, seeing tears pouring down his cheeks and his hand in midair, just a few inches in front of my face. "Spencer," I breathe, watching his hand drops onto the bed between us. "What's wrong?" Spencer squeezes his eyes shut, and his hand clutches the bed sheet until his knuckles turn white. He breathes in harshly through his nose and he draws his knees up to his chest, curling into a tiny ball. "Dove, talk to me."

Spencer's other hand comes down to the bed to join his other, squeezing so tightly that I fear he might rip a hole in the fabric. I see his arms start to shake with the force he's using to hold the bedsheet, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and staining the pillow. He hiccups, but not too loud. Barely loud enough for me to hear. "Lia," he sobs, completely breaking down right before my eyes, "please hold me."

I want to jump his bones. I want to get on top of him and smother him in love and affection and kisses. I want to give him everything I know we've both been craving for months. I want to give him exactly what he's asking for. But I've spent most of my day doing what I can to not overwhelm him and that's not going to change now.

I debate for a moment on how I should touch him first. Should I wipe his tears? Should I hold his hand? Should I wrap my arm around his waist? Should I drag my fingers along his arm? What could I do that won't freak him out?

But then I notice, again, that his eyes are closed. His eyes are squeezed shut and he's not looking at me. I remember how he reacted in the round table room when I touched him when he couldn't see it coming. He jumped and cowered away from me. He didn't take well to getting touched without seeing it.

"Spencer," I whisper, "open your eyes." His eyebrows scrunch up at my request but he doesn't follow it. "Come on, baby, I wanna see your pretty eyes. I haven't been able to see them in so long. Open your eyes for me," I watch Spencer carefully as he holds his breath, forcing his eyelids open, releasing more tears. "There you go, Spence. Thank you, lovey. So pretty. Your eyes are so pretty."

I raise my hand and let it linger in the air for a moment before reaching towards Spencer's face. I drag my fingers along his jawline then lay my hand flat against his cheek. Spencer's lips part when he lets out a shaky sigh, nuzzling his cheek against the palm of my hand. I give him a moment to revel in this type of contact, just staring into his eyes and gauging his reaction. He isn't cowering away and he hasn't screamed at me yet, so I take that as a good sign.

I bring my other hand forward and press my fingers against the back of his hand, feeling him already start to ease his grip. I can't attest for his other hand, but he flattens his hand against the bed, allowing me to lock our fingers together in an awkward, backwards handhold.

"I've got you," I whisper, swiping my thumb across his cheeks to rid his skin of stinging tears. His eyes are locked on mine and he doesn't dare to avert his gaze from my blue eyes that I know he loves so much.

Spencer sucks in a breath and tugs on my hand, wanting me even closer. So I wiggle my hips to diminish the gap between us, leaving some space still. I move my head so we're sharing a pillow, the same pillow that I used to clutch when I was missing Spencer so intensely that I needed to smell his cologne and remember that he would come home to me soon.

"It hurts," he slurs, and his eyelids are so heavy that he can barely keep them open. But he fights with all his strength against the sleep that wants to suck him in, sticking his eyes to me. His eyes plead for help, a type of help that I don't know if I can provide.

"Oh, my baby," I coo, bringing my face right in front of him, "you're safe. You're home. You don't have to go back to that horrible place again. You're right here and you can rest, okay? It's okay to rest now."

I feel him moving under the sheets and it takes everything in me to not look at what he's doing. But I feel his legs touching mine, and then one of his slips between mine a moment later. Even though he initiated this contact, I wait, yet again, for his reaction. His face doesn't change.

"Can I touch you some more?" Spencer nods quickly, his facial hair scratching my palm. "Can I hug you?" He nods again, and with this obvious consent, I almost sigh of relief.

I slide my hand down Spencer's neck, then down his arm, and to his stomach. I wrap my arm around his waist, pulling my body forward so I'm flush against him. With this, he finally lets his eyelids flutter closed, lips parted as he breathes heavily. His skin feels so warm against mine and I can already feel beads of sweat collecting at my hairline, but I ignore their presence.

"Go to sleep," I murmur, bringing our entwined hands up to the pillow between our faces. "I'm here right now, I'm gonna be here when you wake up, I'm gonna be here tomorrow, and the day after, and the next day, and every day after that. I'm not going anywhere. And if you need me then don't hesitate to wake me up. But I need you to get some sleep, okay? Can you do that for me?" Spencer nods yet again, and he flips his hand around so we can properly hold hands. I smile at his responsiveness. "Let me hear you say it, doll."

Spencer nuzzles his cheek against the pillow, scooting a bit closer to me. "I'm gonna try to get some sleep."

"Good," I slip my hand under his tee shirt and rest it flat against his hot skin, earning a small gasp from him, but I don't do any more than that. "I'm right here, baby boy. I'm not gonna let go of your hand and I'm not gonna get out of bed before you. I'll be right here the whole time. I promise, I'm not going anywhere."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"I love you," Spencer whispers but his words are barely coherent as his exhaustion becomes too much to handle. His lips are barely moving and his grip on my hand, and on the sheets, are loosening.

"I love you too, dove."

I watch him closely until I know, for sure, that he's fallen asleep. I wouldn't want his eyes to pop open again and for him to panic. But I keep my promise and I don't let go of his hand, or move my hand from in his shirt, or get out of bed. I just close my eyes and drift off into the most restless sleep I've had yet.

TAGLIST

@babybloodstonebones @bxnnywriting @blameitonthenight21 @feralreid @anepiphany @reidscardigan @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @4x24 @whollytaciturn @thegingerfairchild @yasminwashere @shrimpyblog @anamelessfacelessnerd @wonderlandhatter @whxt-to-write @just-call-me-non @imagining-in-the-margins @boldlyvoid @homoose @gubler-me-up @thundergunexpresss @eideticmemory @andiebeaword

#nikos north fic #spencer reid fic #spencer reid #dr spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #matthew gray gubler #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #dr reid

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lunarmessenger · 4 years

Text

Hard Regrets (Pt. 3) - 707 x MC

I changed up a bit of the prompt; I made her missing for a bit longer for dramatic effect lololol but here’s part three my loves !

warnings: angst :) LOL

word count: 1.8k

(pt. 1) (pt. 2) (pt. 4)

He was numb. His gaze was empty much like his heart, the bags underneath his eyes bruising a light purple as he sat on his bed.

Two months. It’d been two months since he’d seen or heard anything from MC. It didn’t matter where he looked, what systems were hacked; there was nothing. He’d gone so far as to check obituaries, but she wasn’t anywhere to be found on there either. His nose twitched as his mind fixated on the fact once more, the tears pooling in his eyes as he continued to stare at the wall.

It was like she’d just completely disappeared.

He thought he’d known emptiness; when his mother treated him and his brother horribly. When his father tried to get him killed. When he had to leave Saeran behind, all under a false pretense that he would be okay without him. That had to be true hurt, right? Things couldn’t get any worse…right?

Wrong.

He was so wrong; this was it. This was the worst he’d ever felt, and the guilt. God, the guilt was eating him alive, and while part of him wished so badly for it to stop he knew that this is what he deserved. What if he never saw her again? What if she was out there, lost and yearning to see him, and he couldn’t find her? Or, the worst case that he never allowed himself to think for more than one minute: What if she didn’t want to see him at all?

What if she’d rather; never see him again?

There was a slight knock on his door, his twin brother slowly pushing it open as he spoke quietly.

“Saeyoung…?” No response, the red head simply keeping his gaze to the wall as he sat still.

“Did you find anything?”

“N-No, Saeyoung.”

“Then keep looking. I’ll start looking again.” He stood, for the first time today as he rolled his shoulders and cracked his knuckles, face still blank as he walked towards the hall.

“Saeyoung wait.” Saeran tried to grab his arm but he was shrugged off, watching helplessly as his brother sat himself down at his laptop and typed with haste. It was like this every day; he would work himself until he passed out from exhaustion, drink enough water and eat a couple of chips to keep himself going, then start the process all over again.

After everything he’s been through, he thought that he’d seen it all with his brother. But this…this was the worst he’d ever seen him. He pulled out his phone as the sound of a chat notification went off, immediately opening the chat to see a message from Jumin.

Anything, Jumin?

No. I’ve had my people search everywhere and still no sign of her.

These things take time, Saeran. If she is still alive, we will find her.

Okay, please keep me posted. I’m going to search the area. Let me know if you hear anything from Zen.

Not only had MC disappeared, but Zen wasn’t ever in the chat anymore. Saeran figured it was because he was rather close with her; and he couldn’t blame him for distancing himself after her disappearance. His heart ached; not like his brother’s, but enough to where he felt like there was always something weighing heavily on his chest.

“I’m going to go look again, Saeyoung. Call me if anything changes.” He was met back with silence, a sigh escaping his lips as he opened the door and shut it behind him. He took the elevator down to the garage, met with the many sports cars Saeyoung was collecting. He didn’t know which one to take; honestly it didn’t matter. He just matched up the keys with the car that beeped in response, slowly climbing in and shutting the door behind him.

He started the car, the engine roaring to life as he leaned back. He turned to look in the passenger seat, his heart racing when he noticed that one of MC’s sweaters was left piled in the seat. He slowly reached a hand over, his fingers running over the soft fabric. He brought it up to his face, the familiar smell of her causing him to let out a choked breath as he exhaled.

Her familiar laugh rang in his ears, her long hair cradling her face as she sat in the grass, sun beating down on her face. Her warm hugs and soft touch; everything that made her, her. It was gone. Within a split second she was gone, and Saeran didn’t know if he would ever see her again.

“Saeyoung you fucking idiot!” He screamed, his head pressed against the steering wheel as he sobbed.

He parked at a random office building in the city, head leaned back against the car seat as he brought his phone up again. Still no news from Saeyoung nor Jumin, the sinking feeling of finding nothing again sitting heavy in his stomach. He put his phone down and ran a hand through his hair, deciding to get out of the car to get some air.

He couldn’t help it; while he wanted to help his brother find the love of his life, half of him was just so angry with him. He’d never say it out loud, but he most definitely blames Saeyoung for her disappearance. If only he hadn’t got so caught up in his work; maybe if he’d paid her better attention. Then none of this would have happened; they could have continued being the way that they always were.

Despite the chilly air he continued to pace around the car, the jacket he was wearing keeping him warm as he glanced up. That’s when he noticed; a very familiar motorcycle parked in front of the hospital across the street. He furrowed his brows, another blast of chilly air blowing in his face before the clouds slowly opened up, warm sunlight draping over him as he continued to walk towards the hospital.

As he approached the motorcycle it became more clear that it belonged to Zen. But…why was he here? Had one of his family members suddenly have a medical emergency? No…none of them lived in this area. He quickly hid behind a post when he saw the familiar silver hair of his friend flash in the sun, Saeran’s curious gaze honing in on the bouquet of roses he carried with him from the flower shop next door.

“What would he need those for…” He made sure to keep a distance as he followed Zen into the building, slipping past the visitors desk in the front as he watched Zen wave at the two women and state the room he was visiting before heading towards the elevator.

“Such a sweet boyfriend. She’s a very lucky girl.” Saeran’s eyes widened as he took the stairs to the floor Zen was going to, his mind racing as he tried to rationalize what he just heard. Since when did Zen have a girlfriend? And for how long was he going to hide this from everybody? He kept to himself as he entered the floor, nurses walking from room to room while others did paperwork at the desks in the middle of the floor.

His eyes landed on the room Zen had easily waltzed into, the sound of his voice cheery as he grabbed a random cap off a stranded chair and placed it over his head. He kept his head low, leaning against the wall while slightly craning his neck to listen to the conversation.

“…Just think! You’ll be ready to be discharged in a couple of days! Don’t worry, you can stay with me until you figure things out, okay? Are you hungry?” Saeran couldn’t hear this random person’s replies; he was a bit pissed off that Zen hadn’t shared this new person in his life with the rest of them. Especially right now; how could he be giving all of his attention to some random woman, when one of their own was missing?

“I’ll be right back! Surely I can find some good food without being gone too long. I’ll see you soon!” Saeran immediately backed away from the door and turned his back, hearing the familiar sound of Zen’s boots hurriedly walking away and towards the elevator. He turned back and slowly walked into the room, his curiosity getting the best of him.

As he slowly went around the curtain his heart dropped, eyes wide as he realized who this person was. She looked unfamiliar; her hair was cut short and she had small scars all over her arms and thighs. One of her legs had a large nasty scar, clearly from the work of stitches as she kept her gaze focused on the warm sunlight that streamed through her window.

It was her.

After all this time of feeling hopeless, feeling as if he would never find her again she was here. The shock was enough to make him fall to his knees, the sound catching her attention as she turned, brows furrowed. Though there were small changes her eyes were still the same, realization forming inside them as she gasped.

“S-Saeran?” The man quickly pulled himself up, approaching her as her eyes quickly darted around the room. “Is…is he with you?” All he could do was shake his head, a sigh of relief escaping her lips as she looked down and fiddled with her fingers.

“Can I?” Her head jolted up as his facial expression finally sank in; tears streaming down his face as he opened his arms out to her. After a couple of minutes to think she nodded, opening her arms to him. He fell into them, quickly, the familiar smell he’d been missing so much causing him to burst into tears.

“You’re alive. Thank God you’re alive. I’ve missed you so much, I’m so glad you’re okay.” It was hard to understand him but she was getting every word, tears filling her own eyes as she cradled him. Though he was his brother he was still her friend, and she felt guilty for not reaching out to him sooner.

“I’m so sorry Saeran. I’m sorry…” The two of them held each other, his hold gentle while hers was tight; she herself didn’t even realize how much she’d missed him.

“MC, I managed to find some…” His familiar deep voice caught the attention of Saeran first, his cries coming to a halt as MC’s hold slowly loosened as she looked at him.

“Zen…” Saeran turned around, his eyes filled with rage as he balled up his fists. While he felt a small pang of guilt he didn’t back down, Zen slowly putting the bag filled with snacks and treats down on the nearby table.

“Saeran.”

“You knew. This whole damn time? You knew…” Zen put his hands up in defense as Saeran took off his jacket, tossing off the random hat as he slowly walked towards him.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

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possiamo-andare · 4 years

Text

Liar: JJ Maybank

JJ x Reader

(gif made by @rudypankows )

MASTERLIST

word count: over 9k (haha)

a/n: this is very angsty and I barely edited because it's so long. I'm so sorry in advance, the ending kinda sucks. I hope y'all like it tho!

description: this is a one part imagine, involving JJ and the reader (y/n). The reader and JJ meet at a beach party one night and start sleeping with eachother, but only staying friends. Soon, they fall for eachother and a sexual relationship turns into a romantic one. But JJ is hiding something and once it is revealed, will they ever be the same?

You rarely lied. As a kid, you would get hives when you lied to someone; your guilty conscience affecting your body. Lying was typically a very hard thing for you to do. It meant you were betraying someone's trust, and since you couldn't bear upsetting anyone, you couldn't lie. It got you in trouble all the time but your inability to lie was also your greatest strength. People appreciate your honesty and found your personality magnetic.

With that being said, you lied that night and it didn't even hurt you.

He had looked so good, you told yourself that. That was the problem. He had just looked so damn good that night at the beach almost anyone would lie to themselves to get him. Even just a taste.

You wanted to ignore him at first. Maybe if you didn't care enough, he wouldn't notice you. Because, god, if he noticed you, then he'd come over and then you couldn't promise anything. So, you averted your gaze and instead paid attention to Kie as she spoke, telling you about the newest charity she was saving money to donate to. You had, once in a while, glanced his way but he had always been looking somewhere else so you thought that he hadn't noticed your stares. Until, you had accidentally looked his way when he was watching you. You knew it was an honest mistake and something that eventually would've happened since you were looking so often, but you were embarrassed nonetheless. You were trying to convince yourself he didn't even notice you when he walked your way. You felt his eyes burning into you and you mustered every ounce of self control you had and didn't look at him as he walked closer and closer to you and Kie.

When he finally approached, he spoke to Kie first. "Hey Kie." His eyes drifted towards you again, this time a smirk evident on his face. Him watching you made you shift uncomfortably. You knew he was taking you all in.

Kie smiled at him and briefly hugged him. Then she looked at you, a nervous smile on your face, as she introduced you. "This is my friend Y/N. Y/N, this is JJ."

You nodded towards JJ. "Hi." That name sounded familiar but you couldn't quite remember. You went to the same school as Kie, you being a Pogue but getting a scholarship to the academy. You were an intelligent individual but you knew, when it came to boys, you were just about the dumbest person in the world. You'd probably sell your left kidney just for a kiss with this boy you had never met before. It was dumb, but you were a teenager and hopefully would grow out of it.

"Hey, nice to meet you." He extended his hand for you to shake.

You looked down at it and shook it, electricity coursing through your veins.

"What's your last name?"

JJ smirked, sizing you up once more. "Maybank."

JJ Maybank. You had heard about JJ and the things you heard didn't necessarily put a good taste in your mouth. But who were you to judge? Besides he was hot, and you doubted he would ever go for you. This was a harmless feeling.

Except it wasn't. One second, you were talking to JJ about surfing and the next second he was asking if you'd like to come back to his place. It had all happened so fast you were sure you had misunderstood him when he spoke. But then he asked you again and you were surprised. What surprised you even more was that you said yes.

"This is a one time thing." You lied to JJ, untying your shoes at his doorway.

He removed his shirt, pushing his hair out of his face. "Okay." He was smirking at you as you undressed, almost as if he didn't believe what you said.

You believed yourself that night, but soon came to realize that was so far from the truth. That one night had been amazing and you had thought that would be it. But it was not that easy. It never was with JJ. Before you knew it, only a week later, you saw him again. This time with a brunette leaning against him.

You had been invited by Kie again to meet John B. and Pope. You had gladly decided to come, partly because you wanted to meet Kie's other friends and also because you knew JJ would be there. But you hadn't expected him to be kissing someone else. Although you wanted it to be you, you knew that wasn't possible. Besides, why did you care? You were not gonna let some blonde Pogue mess with you. It was one night. It was amazing, but you had told him never again.

Then, it happened again. You were talking to John B. about helping him fix his car when, out of nowhere, JJ entered the conversation. He stood beside you and barely spoke but you felt his presence and that was enough. Once you and him were alone again, the conversation was short.

"Hey." He stated, matter-of-factly.

"Hi." You replied, pushing the hair out of your face.

"Didn't think I'd see you here." JJ smirked, taking a few steps closer to you. You remembered how harshly you swallowed. Boys like JJ rarely made you nervous.

"Well I am." You said defensively. You weren't about to let this boy play you. "Sorry I interrupted your fun with the brunette. What's her name?"

JJ chuckled. "Lacey. And you ruined nothing. To be honest, I wish it was you."

And then, that was it. Again, for the second time, you were in JJ's bed. Your clothes had been torn off before your body had even hit the bed. Shortly after JJ's were too. You barely had time to think, let alone speak but you managed to in between kisses.

"This is the last time." You smirked, both of you now knowing you were lying.

You wished you weren't lying that night. You wished you hadn't slept with JJ again. Maybe, you thought, everything that happened after would've been easier.

After that second night, you and JJ started a relationship. He wasn't your boyfriend, he made that clear to you. You hadn't really wanted him to be anyways. You had just gotten out of a long term relationship and didn't want your heart broken. You chose the wrong guy again because JJ loved breaking hearts. He did it for fun.

The rules were simple. You'd only call each other at night and you would leave right after. No real conversations, no love, just sex. And for a month, that was easy enough. You needed him during that month as much as he needed you. You weren't looking for something serious, just to fool around. You were sick and tired of commitment and heartbreak and just wanted to relax and have fun. JJ never had commitments and enjoyed the company. He hadn't had a girlfriend in ages and there was rarely a girl who wanted this kind of relationship. He was really happy to know that you were that type of girl. And he believed that as long as you continued to be that type of girl, this could go on forever.

Except it didn't.

You weren't really sure when everything changed but if you had to guess, you'd say it was the night he climbed through your bedroom window.

Your parents were out on a date night when you heard tapping on your window. At first you thought it was the tree outside your room but when it persisted, you decided to look for yourself. That's where you found JJ, leaning against your window sill. In a moment of shock, you opened the window and pulled him through. You were so shocked to see him mostly because the rules had been that if he wanted to have sex, he had to call you first. You had just been on your phone and since you hadn't gotten a call or text, you wondered why he was here in the first place. You were so shocked to see him here you almost didn't see his face. But once you did, you couldn't look away.

As he took a seat on the edge of your bed, you gasped. Not only was his face covered in blood and open wounds, he clutched his right side, as if he had broken a rib. You didn't hate blood, you hated the smell. To you, blood smelled like old iron and it made you nauseous. You probably would've become a doctor if it wasn't for the fact that the smell of blood made you nauseous. Maybe it was all the adrenaline of seeing JJ outside your window or the fact that he was badly beaten up, but you didn't feel nauseous when you smelled the blood coming off him. Your mind was too busy to remember to be nauseous.

You went to sit beside him, your hand coming to touch his face. "JJ..." The second your hand touched his cheek, he winced and pulled away.

"My dad got drunk." JJ stated, looking at his feet. He was clearly embarrassed and when you didn't speak, he continued. "I didn't know where to go. John B. is with Sarah and I don't wanna bother Pope or Kie."

You nodded. "I'm gonna get you cleaned up."

You knew JJ's dad was a deadbeat father. Everyone in OBX did. When he wasn't gambling, he was getting piss drunk in his home. A lot of people believed that JJ would bear the brunt of his father's alcoholism but you didn't want to believe it. You didn't want to believe that a father hurt his only child. Your parents weren't the best, being Pogues they rarely parented and you were frequently left to your own devices, but they never laid a finger on you. You didn't want to believe someone as seemingly happy as JJ would be suffering from physical abuse behind closed doors. Now, you knew it to be true.

You wanted to cry for JJ. But you stayed strong and fixed him the best you could. You got some disinfectant and a cloth, with tons and tons of bandages and got to work. First, you washed his face. As the water cleansed his face, your sink started to look like a crime scene. The amount of blood that went down the drain almost made you think that people's water was gonna start to taste like iron. Once his face was washed, you realized that there were only really two big gashes on his face. One, right over his cheek and the other on his forehead. With some disinfectant and bandages, you knew it would heal in a couple of weeks. As for JJ, you didn't know if he would heal.

"This is gonna hurt." You said as you held the cloth you soaked in disinfectant. JJ was sitting on the edge of your bathtub as you spoke to him.

He nodded. "Got any liquor?"

You smiled, shaking your head. "Sorry."

JJ sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "It's whatever."

And with that, you started to disinfect his wounds. At first, he was wincing but the more you cleaned, the less he did. Finally, when the two wounds on his face were clean, you put three bandages on each wound. Then, you moved onto his side, where he was clutching it tenderly. You knew that this was way out of your area of expertise but you wanted to help the best you could. And you knew JJ would never agree to go to a hospital.

"You gotta take off your shirt." You stated, pointing to the bloody shirt he still was wearing.

JJ smirked, looking down. "You want me right now?"

You couldn't help but smile. Even in this state, he could make you laugh. How was he so strong? "No. I need to see if you're hurt anywhere else."

JJ nodded, still smirking as he lifted his shirt over his head. "Anything to see me naked."

You were about to counter with a snarky remark, but you never got the chance. Your breath was caught in your throat when you saw what was underneath JJ's shirt. Where he was clutching his side, was a large purple bruise that expanded through his entire side. It was horrendous and you knew it would turn black before it started to heal but that wasn't even the worst of it. There were smaller bruises all over his stomach and back. They were small but you could tell they were large before and were just starting to heal. You wondered how you didn't see them before. It was dark when you were together but it couldn't have been that dark. Granted, you weren't really looking out to see if there was bruising but you couldn't believe that you had missed these before.

You were silent for minutes and finally, JJ spoke. "I never wanted you to see them. That's why I want to only see you at night."

You looked to JJ's face, his expression unreadable. Although he was expressionless, you were not. Your face was in a deep frown and there were tears pooling in your eyes, threatening to spill over any moment. You wanted to speak, but you didn't know what you could say. What was there to say?

Finally, you found your voice. "JJ..." Your voice was weak and soft, filled with emotion. You reached for his hand but when he realized you were about to cry, he pulled away.

"No," he said defiantly. "Don't get emotional. I'm fine." He was acting so strong. Why?

You nodded, blinking back tears. You refused to cry. "I'll get you some ice. Go lay on my bed."

You barely looked at JJ in the face as you left the bathroom to go get ice. This was too much for you, and it seemed like another normal Saturday night for JJ. You couldn't decide whether to feel so bad for him or angry that he wasn't letting you cry. You knew he was holding back tears, just like you, but he resented that you wanted to cry. You knew you weren't strong like JJ. All this time, all those beatings, and you would've cracked. You would've ran away or worse, but JJ kept going back. That night, your opinion of JJ changed.

The rest of the night consisted of you icing JJ's side and not speaking. You tried to get him to talk but he refused. You started with asking him about why his dad was doing this and for how long but he wouldn't answer you. Then you asked what had happened this time but he didn't want to talk about it. He complained he was tired and just wanted to sleep. You knew this was breaking a rule, but you cuddled beside him, laying your head in his chest to hear his heartbeat. He seemed way more calm when you were beside him.

Finally, after an hour of trying to get him to talk, you spoke for the last time. "Why'd you come to me?"

JJ shrugged one of his shoulders, the other one not moving because it was under your body. "I trust you."

You were shocked but too tired to say anything. You just laid there with him, hoping that you helped take some of the pain away. You hoped you had made some type of difference but you knew that with JJ, you were never sure.

After that night, things were different. JJ started calling you less and less and when you called him, he started making up more excuses. Sometimes you both went a week without speaking to each other and then he blamed it on how busy he was. You rarely hooked up, and when you did, it felt different. There was way more kissing and the kissing was more passionate and longer. Before, you had raced to take your clothes off and now, you let JJ make the first move. You felt different and at first, you thought it was because you felt closer to JJ. He had come to you in a time of need and you now were considered friends. That's why you thought it felt different. But then, JJ started acting very differently and you knew it wasn't just you. He would stay with you afterwards. He used to get dressed before you had time to catch your breath but now, he lingered on your bed and near you. You knew he wanted to stay the night but didn't know how to ask. And you were scared to tell him to stay. You didn't want to scare him.

JJ was not the relationship type of guy but that's basically what you were. You had stopped sleeping with anyone else entirely after that night and focused solely on thinking of JJ. You knew what a crush felt like and you knew that you were developing feelings for JJ. But, it was so hard for you to know if he felt the same way. Sometimes, you were sure he felt the same way. There were days where he couldn't keep his hands off you and was so passionate you couldn't stop smiling. Then there were other days where he wouldn't text you back and didn't answer your calls. You weren't sure if he was sleeping with other girls but you didn't want to ask. If he was, you knew it would hurt you.

Three days before the incident, JJ was having one of those days where he wasn't talking to you. You had texted him to ask him if he was going to Kie's party tonight but he only read it and didn't respond. You had just seen each other the night before and he was so loving and passionate that you thought for sure he felt the same. He had even stayed to cuddle afterward and talk to you about his day. You were smiling and laughing with each other and you were starting to feel like a real couple. Now, he wasn't responding to a simple question you asked. You felt so defeated. You couldn't tell what he was feeling and you felt like you were being strung along. You wanted to sit down and talk to him but you knew JJ and he didn't like that type of stuff. For JJ to even say he was happy was a lot since he rarely talked about his emotions.

That day, you felt used. You knew he was playing you. You convinced yourself, in that moment, that if he likes you he would've already told you. You convinced yourself he didn't like you. You told yourself, if he came to Kie's party, you would ignore him all night and talk to some other guy. There was no reason to wait around for someone who didn't appreciate you.

So, as you got ready for Kie's party, you turned off your phone. If he was gonna try to call or text you, you would make sure you couldn't see it. It would be way too tempting to keep your phone open. As you buttoned your shorts, you continued to tell yourself that this was for your own good. There's no point in being with someone who couldn't even decide if they liked you or not.

When you got to Kie's party, you instantly looked for alcohol. If you wanted to distract yourself, alcohol was your best option right now. You were halfway done with your second cup when Kie found you.

"Hey honey." She said, slowly taking the drink out of your hands. You fought her grasp for a second but when she started to glare at you, you let the cup go.

You plastered on a fake smile. "Hi Kie."

She threw out the remainder of your drink before hugging you tightly. "You're gonna need to be sober tonight."

You frowned, your brain already a bit foggy. "Why?"

Kie let go of you, glancing at the beach for a moment before looking back at you. "Rafe is here."

You wanted to gasp, but it came out more as a hiccup. Unfortunately, Rafe was your ex. You were together for a year before he cheated on you with someone else. You and Rafe had many great memories together but they were all tainted by the fact that he had cheated on you. Kie had told you from the beginning that a Pogue and a Kook dating was not a good idea but you were dumb and did it anyways. The good thing about Kie is that she never said I told you so. She just hugged you until you stopped crying. Now, you had to face Rafe for the first time since you broke up months ago.

Surprisingly, you reacted normally. You shrugged, looking behind you to John B., who was handling the keg. "JB! Can ya get me another cup?"

John B. looked over to Kie, who was glaring at him. John B. knew not to mess with Kie. He then looked back to you and shook his head. "Sorry."

You frowned, glaring at Kie. "Seriously?"

Kie just smirked. "You need to be on your best behavior."

You shrugged, a devilish idea popping onto your mind. "I will."

Kie frowned. "I know that look."

You smiled, the idea in your head about to turn into a reality. "Step aside."

Kie shook her head but you were quick to push her away and walk ahead of her, straight in the direction of Rafe. Kie followed behind you, pleading for you not to talk to him. You had never resolved your problems with Rafe and you knew that was something he wanted to do. So, in an effort to get a rise out of JJ, you were gonna talk to Rafe. You knew he was somewhere at this party and if he saw you and his nemesis speaking again, you hoped he would cause a scene. It was a shitty thing to do but it was the only way to know how JJ truly felt about you.

Once you got closer to the ocean, you spotted Rafe. He was sipping on a red cup, probably filled with beer, as he talked to Topper. When he saw you, he almost spit out his drink. You locked eyes for a moment before Kie stepped in front of you, blocking your view of him.

"No way. He cheated Y/N." Kie said, grabbing a hold of your hand.

You nodded. "I know."

Kie had a confused look on her face. "Then why talk to him?"

You looked over her shoulder and started to watch as Rafe made his way over to you. "Because of JJ."

Kie looked even more confused for a moment but then caught on. She had only suspected that there was something going on between the two of you but had no proof. Your omission right there was enough proof.

"Don't do this." Kie argued again, trying to convince you that this entire situation was a bad idea. She had seen what a jealous JJ was capable of and she knew if he felt even some feelings for you, this would not end well.

"If JJ can't admit his feelings towards me, I'll just talk to someone you will." You said to Kie, finally looking away from her one last time.

Right behind Kie stood Rafe. The red cup in his hand before was now gone and he was smiling at you. He had come tonight knowing you'd probably be here. He knew he had made a mistake and was willing to fix it between the two of you. You were always such a good girlfriend and he missed hanging out with you. He hoped you were open to fixing things too.

"Hey." Rafe said, causing Kie to turn around. She took one look at Rafe and rolled her eyes before looking back at you. You smiled at her and she sighed, walking away. Kie was done. If this is what you wanted, there was no way to stop you.

"Hi Rafe." You giggled, twirling your hair around your finger. You needed to be extra flirty with Rafe. The more you acted like you still liked him, you hoped the more upset JJ would be.

"I wanted to talk to you. I hoped we could talk about what happened." He said, stepping closer to you.

You nodded, holding back a gag. Truth be told, there was nothing on this earth that could make you like Rafe again. "Sure."

"I just wanna say how fucking sorry I am." Rafe began, grabbing your hand. You wanted to flinch but you didn't. "I was such a fool and I realize that now. I want you back Y/N."

You smiled, pretending to be happy with what he was saying. To be honest, you wanted to gag. The boy had cheated on you for half of your relationship with a girl that, as far as you knew, he was still seeing. There was no way in hell you would ever take him back. He didn't have to know that. You felt like it was justice now. Maybe Rafe was getting what he deserved.

Before you could speak and tell Rafe you were willing to give him a chance, you felt two hands on your arm. The hands grabbed where Rafe was holding your arm and ripped you both away. You recognized the person immediately. It was JJ, and he was fuming. He barely even looked at you as he made his way to stand in front of you, standing in between you and Rafe.

JJ turned to you, his brows furrowed and his jaw set. "What the hell are you doing?"

You rolled your eyes. "Just talking to Rafe."

Rafe moved from behind JJ to beside him. He grabbed a hold of JJ's shoulder and tried to move him. JJ didn't budge, still glaring at you. You knew it was working. Finally, you had some type of answer. JJ had unresolved feelings for you. Now, he just had to admit it.

"Why?" JJ questioned, glaring at Rafe for a moment before looking to you again. Although he was mad, you could tell his expression softened when he looked at you.

Before you could speak, Rafe grabbed a hold of JJ's shoulders and pushed him away from me. Then, Rafe spoke. "We're trying to work shit out."

JJ moved out of the way but only enough for Rafe to squeeze forward. You kept your eyes on JJ, who was now beyond confused. Rafe was speaking to you again but you tuned him out and watched as JJ tried to figure out why the hell you would want to work things out with Rafe. Finally, it seemed to click. When it did, JJ grabbed your hand and pulled you away from Rafe. Your hand felt as if it was on fire and you wanted to smile so badly but you kept the frown on your face. Rafe tried to follow you but JJ stood in front of him so your eyes were only on JJ's now.

As you looked into his eyes, he grabbed a hold of your shoulders and brought you close to him. "If you want to know how I feel, just ask me."

Rafe spoke up now. "What the fuck are you -"

"Rafe!" You spoke up, glaring at Rafe for a moment. You tore your gaze away from JJ for a moment only to finally give Rafe a piece of your mind. "I'd only get back together with you if we were the last two people on earth, and maybe not even then."

Rafe was taken aback. He had definitely not thought you were going to act so rude but you could care less. "JJ..." Rafe began to say but JJ ignored him. You didn't know why Rafe was so confused by JJ's reaction but you didn't care. JJ was about to tell you how he felt and that was all that mattered.

There was nothing for Rafe to say to make you like him and he knew it. So, with that, he turned and left. Finally, your eyes were back on JJ.

"You have to tell me." You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

JJ smirked, cupping your face in his hands. "You have to ask me."

You rolled your eyes. "How do you feel?"

JJ smiled this time, pulling you closer. "I like you Y/N. A lot."

You smiled back, wanting to scream for joy. Finally, there was no more confusion. "I like you too. A lot."

Finally, the two of you kissed. There was no more confusion or lies. It was just you and JJ, kissing. This kiss was different. It was full of promises. You liked each other, for real now, and you were not afraid to admit it. This is what it felt like to kiss someone you liked you, wholeheartedly. Someone who wanted you. Someone who cared. It had been so long since you had kissed someone who had cared about you.

That weekend before the incident, was probably the best weekend of your life. It was just you and JJ the entire weekend. The first two days were spent at your house. You just stayed together, half naked, talking and laughing and watching tv. There was no drama or confusion. It was just you and him. The kisses felt so real. The feelings felt so good. You felt a little more whole. You felt as though JJ felt the same. Those two days at your house were not only passionate but they were also a time where you got to know one another. This entire time, the both of you didn't know much about each other. Those two days in your house were spent getting to know each other. You learned that JJ loved fixing cars and wanted to own a hot tub one day. You knew his favourite colour and his favourite sport. And finally he opened up about his dad. When the abuse began, when it got worse and even what instigated his father that night he came to your house. You didn't cry and neither did he. You just soaked in his words and let him say his peace before comforting. JJ had opened up to you more in those two days than he had since he met you. You knew why. It was because you finally were a couple and he finally could be honest with someone. To JJ, it was the best feeling in the world. But, even as he spoke to you, he knew he was lying between his teeth.

The third day, you both had been at JJ's house. His dad had gone south for the weekend to gamble so you and JJ decided to get some fresh air and stay in his backyard for the day. There was only one lawn chair in his backyard but you both made it work. JJ sat down on it as you sat on his lap and cuddled onto him. For a couple of hours, you just laid there with him, talking at different times about everything. You felt so free now and you believed JJ felt the same. You knew it was because everything was out in the open. Everything had been said and anything that hadn't was still being developed. Even if it was just you and JJ laying on a chair, you still felt excited. You were with JJ and not scared anymore. You knew how he felt and it just felt so good to be wanted. It had felt like it had been a lifetime since you felt wanted.

When the sun finally set, you knew you had to say goodbye. Your parents were probably worried for you and JJ's dad would be back the next morning. The weekend was coming to an end and you were so upset. You and JJ had been in this bubble the entire weekend and you didn't want to break it. It was so hard to say goodbye. It took you and JJ ten minutes to say goodbye. You made plans to see each other tomorrow but it still felt like such a long time. You stood on JJ's front lawn for ten minutes, kissing and hugging each other until you were the first to pull away. You knew if you didn't get home soon, your parents would ground you.

"I gotta go." You whined as JJ kissed you again.

He wasn't letting you go. "No."

You pried away from his grip. You didn't want to leave. Being with JJ always made you feel better, even more so now. "I gotta. I'll see you tomorrow."

Finally, JJ lets you leave. With one last kiss, you turn away from him and walk away. As you walk down JJ's block, there's an evident smile on your face. You probably look like a crazy woman to the neighbours but you could care less. It had been a long road, through so much confusion, but you finally were with JJ.

You thought back to the time when you first met JJ. You had promised him it was a one time thing and you knew it was a lie. It felt like years ago when you first met him when in reality, it had only been a couple of months. You pictured his face the first time you met him. He had the devilish smirk on his face and his pupils were dilated. You remembered how you felt, and it didn't compare to how you felt now. You had never felt this strong about someone in ages and it felt so good to be appreciated. You had known that night, whether you'd admit it or not, that JJ was going to change your life. You had texted Kie that night and told her -

Your phone.

As you made your way onto the steps of your house, you remembered you forgot your phone at JJ's house. Dammit. You sighed and opened your front door, hoping your parents would let you go back quickly to get it.

Thankfully, your parents were sitting in your living room when you entered your house. They greeted you quietly but you told them you can't stay because they remembered you forgot your phone at Kie's house. You had told them you were at Kie's house and of course, they believed you. Your dad warned you to be quick and soon and you promised that you would. You were out the door and down your steps before your parents had time to warn you again.

Although it was inconvenient to walk all the way back to JJ's house, you couldn't help but smile. Not only would it be a cute surprise but you also wanted to see JJ again. You had missed him already.

You raced back to JJ's house and made it in ten minutes, cutting your travel time in half. You were desperate to see him again, even if it was only for five minutes. Your excitement died down once you saw JJ's house.

The first thing you noticed that was out of place was that there was a BMW in JJ's driveway. JJ didn't have a car, let alone a BMW. That was something a Kook had. You looked at the license plate and it seemed familiar but you couldn't place it. As you passed the car, you slowed down. Something about this car made your body go cold, even on a hot summer night like this. Your gut was telling you something, but you didn't want to believe it.

You somehow knew that you had to be quiet. As you made your way up the steps of JJ's house, you tiptoed towards the door. The closer you got, the more you realized that the door was slightly open, a glimmer of light from the house spilling into the darkness of night. You leaned forward, peeking through the slightly ajar door, hoping to get a glimpse of what was going on.

"Don't!" You heard JJ yell, his figure coming into the limited space you could see. He was yelling at someone that you couldn't see.

"Why? Because you know she'll hate you?" The voice made you gasp softly. You knew who it was. It was Rafe. It was Rafe's car that was in the driveway. Why was he here? And who were they talking about?

"Shut your fucking mouth!" JJ seethed, grabbing ahold of Rafe's collar and finally pulling him into your eyesight.

Rafe pushed JJ off of him, shoving him into the wall. You wanted to scream but you knew if you did, you'd never find out what they were talking about. "If you don't tell her, I will."

JJ looked so defeated. You wanted to reach out to him. "Please don't. I love her."

You knew who they were talking about now. It was you. JJ had done something only Rafe knew about. It was something he knew you'd hate him for. What could he have done?

Rafe played with his keys in his hand. "I paid you to go out with her only for you to break her heart. So she'd come back to me. What was so fucking hard about that? Not my fault you love her. I want my money back."

Rafe paid him? No. You couldn't believe it. Wouldn't. Everything felt so real. JJ's feelings felt real. You knew it was too good to be true. Even before he approached you for the first time, you had a feeling he would never like you. When he showed interest, you were surprised. When he approached you the second time, you were even more surprised. It all made sense now. Why was JJ so reluctant to like you, why he pulled you away from Rafe when you were trying to talk to him at Kie's party. He was playing you. But it all felt so real.

You must've gasped really loud because JJ and Rafe heard you from inside. JJ had swung the door open, scared to see who was on the other side. He knew if it was you, it would be over for him. When he saw you, crying, he realized what he had done.

When you saw JJ reach out for you, you moved away. He disgusted you. How could he? How could Rafe? Granted, Rafe was an asshole but at least he wore it on his sleeve. JJ had tricked you. And you could never forgive him. You backed away from both JJ and Rafe, slowly moving down JJ's steps.

"Y/N..." JJ began, following you down the steps. Rafe just watched behind JJ, clearly enjoying the misery he caused.

"Get away from me." You seethed, tears rolling down your face so fast. God, you felt sick. You felt so nauseous. Everything was a lie.

"I'm so sorry." JJ frowned, tears in his eyes. He seemed to shrink down as he walked towards you. The closer he walked though, the farther you walked.

"You liar!" You screeched, your voice raspy. You could barely breathe. It hurt so much.

JJ shook his head, his arms out towards you. "No, no. I love you Y/N."

You shook your head, wrapping your hands around your body, hugging yourself. You closed your eyes for a moment and stopped walking. This couldn't be real. You didn't want it to be real.

You felt JJ come closer to you, finally wrapping his arms around you. You let him embrace you, even if you didn't hug him back. This was the last time he would touch you. The last time he'd hurt you. God, you had been so stupid.

The hug only lasted ten seconds because the second you collected yourself, you pushed him away. He looked so hurt, tears running down his face. You wanted to hug him, you still had feelings for him, but you knew you couldn't. He betrayed you. He lied to you.

"You're a liar." You said coldly, finally turning around and running away.

You ran and ran and ran. Away from JJ's house and away from Rafe. Away from everything that you once loved. You didn't even stop to catch your breath, your mind wouldn't let you. You believed that maybe if you ran far enough, you wouldn't be in so much pain. You wanted to run away from all your problems.

You made it to your house in record time. By the time you entered your home, your parents were gone. They left a note on your bed saying that they went out for the night and would be back by midnight. You didn't care. You used to care. You used to leave you but it seemed as if everyone was leaving you recently.

You curled up into a ball on your bed and closed your eyes. Once your eyes were closed, you blocked the images of JJ that flooded your mind. You remembered you hadn't gotten your phone but you didn't care. You just wanted to sleep. You cried so much your chest was starting to hurt and you knew the only way for all of this to stop, was for you to rest your body and mind. It was easy for you to fall asleep. Your eyelids were already droopy from all the crying that it only took a couple of minutes for you to fall asleep. Once you did, you slept the entire night. You started to dream about JJ, but you stopped yourself. Your brain wasn't ready for that yet. You needed time.

And this is where you were now. You hadn't talked to JJ in two days. Kie had come by to drop your phone off and she tried to comfort you but you didn't speak. It was hard to comfort someone who didn't want to be comforted. You felt so empty. You felt stupid too. You had been so eager to trust JJ, even when Rafe had betrayed your trust already. But you were a good person. You guessed this was your punishment.

When Kie couldn't comfort you, John B. had tried to come over. At first, you didn't want to let him in, but with some coaxing, you finally opened your door to him.

You wanted to ask how JJ was but you told yourself you shouldn't care anymore. He wasn't yours anymore. He never was.

John B., tired of the silence, was the first to speak. "JJ is a wreck."

This got your attention. You had hoped he was. So were you. You didn't say anything to John B. when he said this, just nodded solemnly.

"I've never seen him like this. He's really sorry." John B. said, sitting down beside you.

You scowled. "Did you only come here to make me feel shitty? JJ lied to me. He betrayed me. I could care less if he was dying."

John B. didn't even react to what you were saying, almost as if he knew you were going to say that. "Yeah. I know. I wanted to come to see how you were doing, but I'd be lying if I said JJ didn't want me to come to see how you were doing."

You looked at John B., the scowl replaced with a frown. "If he wants to talk to me, he can come here himself." You didn't want him to, but you knew the only way to end this was to tell JJ yourself.

John B. nodded. "When can he meet you then?"

You had decided with John B. that you were going to meet JJ at the beach, where you first met. You guessed it was only fitting. You had gotten ready a couple hours before you were set to meet with him. You wanted to look a bit presentable, only to show JJ that you looked better than he did. Even if it was not true, you wanted to appear like you moved on. You put on some makeup and changed into a new tank top with black shorts, praying to God that you looked a little better than you were. You wanted to appear as if you had healed, even if you hadn't.

Waiting on the beach was absolute torture. You had been ten minutes early which was your fault entirely. You wanted to have some control over the situation, even though you knew you weren't in control. As you waited, you began to feel yourself start to cry. You couldn't believe how much everything changed. Only days ago you and JJ were together and happy, and now you could barely think about him without crying. Everything has gone so messed up. Although you desperately wanted to go back to the time where you two were still together, you knew that you couldn't do that. You had the truth now and as much as those old memories were good, you didn't want to forget the truth. You would come here with only one purpose. You needed to end things with JJ completely.

JJ was late by three minutes. You wanted to be upset but you know why he was late. You knew he wanted to prolong this conversation because he knew why you wanted to talk to him. You were here to end things for good and JJ didn't want that. By the time he finally arrived on the beach, he prepared himself. You were doing the same.

Once he was close enough, you spoke first. "Hello." You were cold as you spoke, almost as if you were talking to a stranger.

JJ knew he deserved this kind of behaviour from you but it still hurt him deeply. With every ounce of being he had in him, he replied. "Hi."

"I think you know why I want to talk to you." You said, the coldness in your voice still evident. You are afraid that if he even showed a small hint of emotion, you would break down and start crying all over again.

JJ nodded, tears in his eyes. He knew how stupid he was. When Rafe had come up to him before the beach party, he had been planning to take this other girl named Lacey out but he had offered JJ $2,000 just to break some girl's heart. JJ did that shit for free and to get money for it oh, it seemed like a deal. He slept with you once and although he felt something, he ignored it. He got his money but Rafe was still unhappy because you hadn't reached out to him yet. So Rafe told JJ to hook up with you a second time but this time JJ didn't ask for any money. It felt wrong in JJ's eyes. He actually had a good time with you. You were a good person and it felt wrong. But he liked you enough to continue sleeping with you. Not for Rafe, before himself. After that night where you patch him up, he knew he couldn't deny his feelings for you anymore. He went back and forth in his mind, debating whether he should pursue things with you or not. You had made it clear many times that you felt something for him and although he felt something for you, there was a little voice in his head telling him that what he was doing screwed up because he hadn't liked you at first. There were so many times where he wanted to tell you but he didn't want to ruin anything because for the first time he actually ever felt happy with someone. Then he ruined everything. And now you never want to speak to him again.

JJ wanted to explain everything to you in detail and try to make you understand the situation that he was put in. There was no point though. He still had done a screwed-up thing to you and he didn't deserve you.

"After tonight, I never want to talk to you again." You said plainly, crossing your arms over your chest. The sun was setting soon and you knew you should be getting home. But you needed one more thing from JJ. "Why'd you do it?"

JJ had been looking at his feet the entire time but when you said this he finally made eye contact with you. "Do what?"

You let a tear slide down your cheek and you watched as JJ frowned even more. "Why did you just break my heart like Rafe wanted? Why did you string me along?"

JJ sighed, looking at the ocean before getting the courage to look at you. He had hurt you beyond repair. He knew that there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do, to get you to forgive him. So he didn't sugar coat it. He just told you the truth.

"I could care less about you at first. I had seen you hanging out with Kie so many times before that first party and I thought you were cute but you were Kie's friend. Then race told me his plan and said he'd give me $2,000 if I could break your heart. I never cared about anyone. I was selfish. So at first, I did it. And it was easy. But you are so easy to love Y/N. You're kind and gentle. You didn't ask many questions when I came over to your house that night covered in cuts and bruises. You never pushed me to talk about my feelings because you knew that was not something that I was comfortable with. No one has done that. And I realized what I had been missing. But Rafe realized that you didn't love him anymore. He tried to get me to do it again and even offered more money but something told me not to do it." JJ took a moment to breathe, looking at the tears sliding down your face. He wondered what you were thinking. "It's so easy to be with you. I'm not easy to be around. I'm selfish and I'm cruel. I'm reckless. But you love me so much that you were patient. I know I should have told you. But it was so easy to be with you, that I didn't think I would be able to live without you. I'm sorry."

You didn't know how to react. This was the most JJ had ever expressed his feelings towards you. You'd be lying if you said you weren't surprised. You didn't know if it was enough though. You wondered if anything he did would be enough.

When you didn't respond to him, JJ knew. It wasn't enough. He loved you and he said all those nice things, but it wasn't enough. He was a liar and he betrayed you too deeply for you to forgive him. He understood. He didn't blame you. He didn't say anything else. He doubted you wanted to hear his voice ever again. He made no sound as he turned away from you and left. As he walked to the boardwalk and passed the beach, he couldn't help but cry. Although he had cried before, this time he knew it was the end. It wasn't enough.

You didn't know why JJ left. You are still trying to take in all those things that he said and by the time that you did, you realized that he was gone. You scanned the beach in the boardwalk and finally found him a hundred yards away. He didn't want to forgive him. You had come here tonight to make him hurt. You had come to end things completely. You had told yourself that no matter how much he pleaded, you were still going to walk away. But as much as you didn't want to admit it, you knew JJ and you knew when he was lying and when he wasn't. He wasn't lying now you knew he wasn't lying when you guys were together. He had screwed up. He had started a relationship with you for the wrong reasons. But he loved you. He loves you so much that he was willing to walk away if that made you happy. But you realized it didn't make you happy. And you wondered why you wanted to walk away in the first place. JJ had done all that terrible stuff before he knew you. And although it would take so much time for you to completely heal, you need JJ. So you ran after him.

"JJ!" You screamed, running closer and closer towards the boy you loved.

JJ stopped dead in his tracks. He thought his brain was playing tricks on him. But when you called for him the second time, he knew it was true. You had chased after him. You still wanted him. What had he done to deserve that? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

When he turned around, he saw you run to him. His tears instantly stopped and a huge smile fell over his lips. You had still loved him. You had run such a long way and JJ felt bad so he ran to you, trying to close to distance faster. Once you were close enough to touch, JJ reached out for you. When you reached out for him, he grabbed ahold of you, pulling you into a big hug. You both stood there for a moment, trying to catch your breath as you hugged. JJ was smiling so wide.

Once you caught your breath, you let go of JJ. You looked at him, his hands coming up cup your cheeks. He was smiling so wide and you felt yourself smiling too.

"You're easy to love too."

JJ didn't say anything, just pulled you close for a kiss. When your lips touched, you felt whole again. It would take some time but you needed JJ. And he needed you.

"I love you." JJ said, smiling wide.

You nodded, pulling him close. "I love you."

And you both weren't lying.

taglist: @jjmaybanxx @teamnick

#jj maybank #outer banks #jj obx #jj outer banks #obx fanfiction #obx #obx netflix #john b obx #john b outer banks #john b routledge #obx kiara #kiara carrera #kiara outer banks #pope obx #pope outer banks #pope heyward #obx rafe #jj x y/n #jj x reader

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harrysgoldenbum · 4 years

Text

Want You pt. 2

Sorry for the delay, but having you internet crash does that to you. I hope you like pt. 2 ;) The last and final part should be up tomorrow... hopefully! thanks again @andwhenshesays @for-fucks-sake-h and @oh-honey-styles for letting me join the fun!

Catch up: Part 1

--Y/N gives in, but things don’t go as planned--

Word count: 2.6K

Warnings: Smut

Y/N is going to have to get a new vibrator. All week she has imagined Harry pleasuring her. Y/N would make herself cum multiple times and she still was not satisfied. Even temporary. She’s been thing about how Harry’s lips felt against her skin. The words he whispered to her.

She laid there in bed with her hands holding her vibrator between her legs. She imagines Harry’s perfect lips trailing down her neck to her chest. She imagines what it would feel like for him to suck on her hard nipples. She imagines him looking down at her, chest glistening with sweat. She imagines what his cock would look like, and how it would feel as he fucks her to oblivion.

But, she absolutely hates him.

But the pulse of her pussy makes it hard for her to think of anything else. She doesn’t want to fantasize about her best friend’s ex-boyfriend fucking her… or her fucking him. Y/N knows that Harry didn’t cheat on June but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t hurt her. He is everything that she doesn’t like about a guy. He has an ego that’s the size of the universe, and he thinks that all women want him.

She suddenly drags her vibrator down her fold and slides it into her. Y/N shudders and bites her bottom lip. She tries to move past the thoughts that will piss her off, she pulls her device out of her cunt and slides the smooth surface over her clit. She gasps out in pleasure. Once again her vibrator enters her pussy and Y/N imagines it to be Harry’s cock.

“Oh! Fuck!” She calls out. Moving her hands faster and faster. She believes that Harry would only fuck her hard and fast.

Dragging the device over he clit again, Y/N loses all control. She starts to pluck her own nipples and starts to thrust upward, toward her pleasure machine. She wishes Harry was here with her right now. She wishes it was him bringing her closer and closer to her orgasm.

“Fuck! Fuck!” Y/N shouts, she fists her bedsheets, her wetness dripping down onto them. She gets closer and closer to her finish. She can just picture his cocky smirk as her drives into her. Flicking her clit one last time, Y/N cums. Hard.

“OH GOD!!!” she shouts.

She is in a daze for the next few minutes. Y/N takes her time to come back down to earth before she gets up to go to the bathroom to clean herself.

By the time she gets back, her phone has lit up by a text message.

Harry: I guess we both like sleeping with our windows open. You sound so hot fucking yourself. I am rock hard right now.

Y/N freezes, moisture starts to collect between her legs once again. She contemplates on sending him a message telling him to come to her apartment, but she gets another text.

Harry: I bet you were thinking about my dick just now. Tell me Y/N how badly do you want my hard dick?

And just like that, annoyance flares up in Y/N. Consuming any feeling she was having for him in that moment.

Y/N: Do yourself a favor and quit flattering yourself. Your dick has nothing on my vibrator.

She slams her phone down on her dresser and climbs into bed. She tells herself that she hates Harry Styles and hopes for a peaceful rest of the night and sleep. Y/N doesn’t get what she wanted. Harry Styles followed her into her dreams.

~~~~~~~~

“I think the universe is trying to tell us something.”

Y/N spins around in her bar stool and finds Harry Styles standing in front of her dressed in dark jeans and flannel with half the buttons unbuttoned. She bites her lip and takes a deep breath. He looks damn good.

“Is the universe trying to tell me that you are officially stalking me?!”

He leans onto the bar counter and laughs. “Nope,” he says popping the p. “Just another coincidence.” He points to a group of guys that occupy the high tables in the middle of the bar. “It’s one of my mate’s birthday, so we are out celebrating.”

“I’m meeting my sister here for a few drinks and dinner… if she gets here on time.” Y/N tells him with a shrug. Turning away from him, secretly hoping her sister won’t see her with him. She can already hear the questions she would ask.

“Whatever the reason, I am happy to see you” Harry grins.

Y/N feels butterflies erupt in her belly as she looks at Harry from the corner of her eye. It has been a bit over two weeks since their last conversation and she hasn’t heard from him since. Many times, Y/N would type out a message to send him, only for her to delete it. She had even gone as far as considering knocking at his door. She had gotten used to the attention he gave her, and his flirting did help with her ego.

She goes to say something, only to be nearly pushed out of her chair and nearly into Harry. Harry steadies her with his large hands.

“Oh, shit! My bad,” the large man said, even though he was trying to look down her top. “Let me buy you a drink babe,” he offers as he goes to touch Y/N.

Before she can say she not interested, Harry wraps his arm around her should and faces the guy. “Back off man, she’s with me.”

Shocked, Y/N looks at Harry and looks pissed.

“Shit! Okay, okay.” the man turns to leave.

Y/N shakes his arm off her and looks at him. She doesn’t know what to do. So she just sits there and stares at him.

“Another reason not to hate my guts,” Harry starts. “I will fight assholes that bother you.”

Y/N is just about to say thank you, but Harry’s friend comes over and leans heavily on him.

“Are you gonna stand here and talk to this pretty girl all night or are you going to get drunk with us Styles? Because you have fallen behind.”

With a small smile, she tells Harry to go and have fun, just as her sister walks into the bar.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N and her sister are just about done with their dinner when she gets up to use the restroom. In the hallway, she sees Harry coming out of the men’s room. He stops a few feet away from the restroom doors and waits for Y/N to reach him.

“How was dinner?” he asks.

“Alright, same questions and same answers. Tried the steak salad.” Y/N said vaguely, even though throughout dinner, all Y/N could think about was Harry sitting a couple of yards away from her.

“You know I can grill a delicious steak.” Harry steps closer to her, their chests nearly touching each other. Y/N’s breath falters. “If you’d give me a chance… I’ll make it worth your time.”

“Why are you doing this,” she whispers. “What do you want from me?”

Harry’s eyes trail across her face. “You really don’t know, do you?”

Y/N frowns at his question. She starts a different conversation with him. “Okay, look I admit, maybe you aren’t that bad of a guy. But I usually don’t go for the arrogant, overconfident dude who sees himself as a gift for the female race.”

A grin takes over his face and a low chuckle leaves his mouth. He looks so happy, Y/N’s breath catches in her throat.

“You should stop fighting it, love.” He looks pleased with her confession. “I already heard you through the window how bad you want it.”

With a scowl, “You know that isn’t going to help your case.”

Raising his hands up as an act of surrender, “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

With a sigh, Y/N roles her eyes. She looks into his eyes and as cliche, as it sounds, gets lost in them. Both Harry and Y/N don’t know how long they stand there, in each other’s presence. It wasn’t until someone bumped into Harry’s shoulder do they break away from each other.

With a heavy sigh, Y/N breaks their silence, “There’s still June.”

Harry stiffens at the mention of her name.

“Looks, it’s been six months and yeah we didn’t end on the best terms, but I never lied to her. We would have broken up anyway. She wanted to move across and I didn’t. It wouldn’t have worked out.

Y/N takes in every word, it was almost like he was pleading for her to believe him and to give him a shot. Like he was begging her not to hold this against him forever.

Pushing the subject of June out of her mind, Y/N tries to focus on something else. Anything else. “You don’t even know anything about me,” she starts. Trying to come up with reasons why they won’t work as the last stand of defense.

“So give me the chance to, love.”

Just as she is about to respond, Y/N’s sister comes in looking for her. “Oh! There you are! I’ve been waiting for you! I was wondering where you disappeared to! I have to get home Jack has an earache and Danny is hopeless with the baby. Do you need a ride?”

With a glance toward Harry, she tells her sister that she will be right out. As her oblivious sister leaves, she turns back to Harry. “I’ll see you around Harry.”

He leans down and kisses her cheek and steps out of her way.

~~~~~~~~

Y/N wasn’t sure about what was going on. Were they on a date? She looks at Harry from the corner of her eye. He’s sitting on her couch watching a movie. Y/N isn’t even sure what movie is playing, but that’s the only source of lighting in the room.

He had stopped by to drop off more of his baked goods. This time it was red velvet cupcakes with buttercream. (Y/N had texted him to tell him how much she had liked his coffee cake.) And somehow that led to her inviting him in for a movie.

They were sitting close to each other but they were not touching. Harry hadn’t tried to put the moves on her yet. The way he was sitting, it clearly indicated that his focus was solely on the movie.

She let her eyes roam over his side profile. His defined jaw, his straight nose, his tattooed arm, and his plump lips. When she was least expecting it, Harry starts to turn his head toward her. She quickly shifted her eyes to the TV, hoping that he didn’t catch her staring at him.

She knows that she is overdoing the ‘hard to get’ challenge she had set up for him. At this point, she doesn’t care anymore. She knows that he isn’t Prince Charming, nor is he her White Knight. But she wants him. She wants him to fuck her.

Taking a deep breath, she leans forward and places her hand on his forearm. Harry looks at her with confusion. Y/N looks into his eyes before she lowers her gaze to his full lips.

She moves toward him slowly, wanting to pull his lower lip into her mouth. When she is no more than a half an inch away, he turns his head. Completely stopping Y/N.

Shocked, Y/N freezes. Suddenly the humiliation catches up to her, she pulls away and crawls to the farthest end of the sofa.

“Oh my god… oh god!” She mutters running her hands through her hair.

“Y/N,” Harry begins in what sounds like a patronizing voice. She wants her living room floor to swallow her whole.

“Shut up!” she snaps. “Shut the fuck up! Get out Harry! Get out of my house!” She can’t look at him. She wants to erase this moment from her life. “I can’t believe you get me to the point where you’ve got me so worked up and actually want you, and what do you do?! You reject me.”

“Y/N,” he tries again. This time just a little louder. But Y/N still can’t look at him.

“Please leave,” she begs.

Before she knows it, Harry is pulling her leg and she is flat on her back. He settles between her legs.

“Will you listen to me!?” His hands move toward her shorts and he pulls them down her legs.

She gasps in shock. Her heart beating so fast she is worried she might pass out. Y/N is left in her cotton panties and her baggy shirt. Harry pulls his own athletic shorts down and once again places himself between her legs.

“You don’t think I don’t want this?” He growls in her ear, he presses his rock hard cock against her. His heat and the friction caused by his rutting has her crying out in pleasure.

He pushes against her again, Harry feels her wetness seep as it through her underwear. Y/N is overwhelmed by the pleasure he is giving her. The way he moves his hips has her panting in minutes. She circles her legs around the back of his thighs and starts to follow his rhythm. Amplifying the euphoria.

She has never enjoyed dry humping so fucking much.

“Harry!” She cries out when he moves his hand down and into her panties. He finds her clit and starts rubbing in a circular motion.

“I love hearing you say my name,” he pants. He drops his head to her neck and starts to press kisses along it. “Is this what you wanted,” his growls when his pleasure starts to overtake his body. He pinches her nipple through her shirt.

Y/N arches toward him. She feels hollow, empty, like something important is missing. “Oh god!” she moans.

“What,” Harry whispers, “huh? What’s the matter? You want my cock?”

He starts to hump her faster. “Is that what your needy pussy wants?”

Y/N cries out as she cums. Her orgasm washes over her and she watches Harry through her lowered eyelids. He ruts against her once, twice, three times before he cups himself and cums in his had.

He cleans himself up and pulls his shorts back on. Y/N feels like her body is floating like she had no control over it.

Nasty thoughts start to invade her and she does what she can to push them out of her mind.

“Don’t feel like you have to stay until the movies over,” she forces out, “we both got what we wanted.”

Harry’s face crumbles. Hurt, he pulls away and sits up. Not looking in her direction.

“What?!” Y/N snaps defensively. “You didn’t want to kiss me. So I don’t expect you to want to stay and cuddle.”

Harry stands from his seat and starts to walk to the door. Just as he is going to open the door, he turns to face her. “I didn’t kiss you Y/N, because when I kiss you for the first time, I want it to be real. I want you more than an easy fuck.”

The words shock Y/N. She stands and looks at him. Really looks at him.

She took to long to respond, so Harry opens the door and looks at her one more time. “Don’t worry, I won’t get my hopes up on you wanting the same thing from me that I want from you.”

He closes the door softly, leaving Y/N alone in her apartment. With one thought ringing clearly in her mind. Harry Styles was not who she thought he was.

Part 3 Here

#pypfc #harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #enemies to lovers #my work #original writing #new writer #harry styles one shot #smut one shots harry styles #one direction fanfiction #want you #niall horan #liam payne #louis tomlinson #zyan malik #one direction smut

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thejolexgroupchat · 4 years

Text

the one where they met in med school - part nineteen

confrontations and loft spaces if you haven’t read part eighteen, you can find it here

(July 2008 cont.)

The next day was rough for both Jo and Alex. Neither of them got much sleep the night before and Alex realized very quickly that Jo was actively avoiding him when he walked into Meredith's hospital room and saw this disapproving look, on her face.

"You know?" Alex made a face.

"Izzie told me," Meredith replied. She huffed and narrowed her eyes. "I can't believe you said that to her."

"I can't believe I said that to her either,” Alex sighed. “I was angry and when I get angry, I lash out.”

“Yeah, I know,” Meredith shook her head at him. “Alex, you messed up. Badly. You came for her where it hurts the most. You don’t shove someone’s insecurities in their face.”

“I know that, Mer,” Alex huffed. “I know that… I was just so—so angry that I wanted her to hurt the way I was hurting. Which now that I say it out loud it sounds stupid because the one I should be hurting is Avery. God, I just want to pummel his face.”

“Don’t do that,” Meredith warned. “Nothing good can ever come out of that.”

“I make no promises,” Alex excused himself and left the room.

He was on Torres’ service today and would be helping assist on a spinal surgery with her and Shepherd. Alex walked up to the patient room where he was supposed to meet the two attendings and prep the patient for surgery. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Avery present, standing beside Shepherd.

The surgery would take all day, and Alex was dreading being stuck in an OR with his fellow resident. Alex scowled and glared at Jackson the entirety of the operation.

Jackson on the other hand, felt nervous. When he’d woken up that morning, the night before had been a blur. He’d had so much to drink that he was nursing a pretty bad hangover when he walked into the hospital that morning. He hadn’t even remembered the kiss he’d planted on Jo until he watched her skitter past him in the hallway, refusing to make eye contact.

He felt bad for what he’d done, because despite what Jo may have been thinking, Jackson wasn’t a bad guy. He was a guy that got a little too cocky after having a little too much to drink and went out in search of hints and clues that hadn’t been there to begin with to make him feel better about trying to make a move on Jo while she was clearly with Karev.

By the time the surgery ended, Jackson decided that he needed to talk to Alex once and for all, if he ever wanted the stares burning into the back of his head to stop. Jackson needed to find Alex and apologize. He also needed to apologize to Jo.

Jackson decided that the latter would probably be easier to talk to than the former. He made his way to the peds floor where he knew Jo had been working today. Jackson maneuvered his way around the floor searching for the woman he’d hoped he hadn’t completely ruined his friendship with. Finally spotting her, Jackson reached for Jo’s arm and pulled her into an empty linen closet.

“Jackson, listen. I don’t know what you think you saw or felt but I was not—”

“Jo, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Jackson motioned for her to stop talking. “I just wanted to apologize for last night. I’m not usually that guy. I don’t know what came over me, but I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or cause you any trouble. I like you, but I wouldn’t ever try to purposely mess up your relationship. I respect you too much for that.”

Jo eyed him carefully, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Jackson tilted his head in confusion.

“I’ll accept your apology,” Jo crossed her arms in front of her.

“Really?” Jackson’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I thought I was gonna have to work a little harder for that, but thank you.”

“It’s all in the past,” Jo shrugged. “Besides, all you did was open my eyes to issues that were already present in my relationship, so I guess I should thank you.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you shouldn’t give up so easily. I know Karev isn’t and I know I wouldn’t if I had you,” Jackson smiled shyly. “Anyway, I’m going to go talk to your boyfriend now, so wish me luck.”

“Be careful,” Jo warned. “Alex and I aren’t afraid to throw punches for each other.”

“I will.”

Jackson and Jo walked out of the linen closet and went their separate ways, each going in opposite directions. Alex—who’d come up to peds to see if he could finally get a moment alone with Jo—witnessed as the pair walked out of the room together.

Alex could see Jackson walking towards him. His fists balled in anger at the thought of what could’ve possibly happened in that linen closet. He clenched his teeth and watched as Jackson approached him and Jo walked out of sight. With his blood boiling in rage just like it had been over the previous hours, he tried to let it go, but failed. Swiftly and without even thinking, his fist found its way to Jackson’s jaw.

“What the hell, Karev?” Jackson winced while rubbing the impacted area. He felt Alex pull him by his scrub top into an on-call room and didn’t even react when he felt his body pressed against the wall.

“You listen here, Avery. You come here acting all snazzy and flirty with your money and your last name and your shiny pair of blue eyes, but she is mine, you hear me? Jo is the best thing to ever happen to me, and you are not going to take her away from me,” Alex twisted his hand around the newcomer’s shirt.

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” Jackson surrendered, putting both his hands up.

“Yeah, but you did. And from what I remember from med school, you’re not a bad guy, so I have a feeling that you’re going to measure your words and actions from now on,” Alex said, pushing him away and letting go of the taller man. “Now, I hear you got stuff to do, so get going,” he added, eyeing Jackson as he made his way out the door and closed it just to open it again after a few moments.

“Karev,” Jackson called his attention. “Sorry about your girl,” he said before closing the door one last time and walking away.

Alex, now feeling a lot calmer than a few minutes before, decided to act mature. Running towards the door, he opened it and chased the other man.

“Avery,” Alex called out, making him turn around. “Sorry about your jaw.”

***

The next few days, Jo and Alex hardly ever saw each other. Partially because Jo was purposely avoiding him and partially because ever since Izzie, Lexie, and Cristina caught wind of Alex’s major screw-up, they’d been intercepting Alex’s every move. They wouldn’t allow him to get more than a hundred feet within Jo’s presence.

“Come on, you can’t do this forever. You can’t keep me from talking to her. She’s my girlfriend,” Alex argued with Cristina as she held up a hand in front of him so that he couldn’t walk out of the residents’ lounge to follow Jo. “Look, I know I was an ass, but we share a bedroom and I haven’t seen her in the past three days. She sleeps in Izzie’s room, she comes in to grab her clothes while I’m in the shower, she even took her damn pillow with her. ”

“No you listen right here, Evil Spawn. Jo has never, ever given you a reason not to trust her and now all of a sudden you assume the worst of her? Because what? You feel threatened by pretty-boy’s presence? Because he kissed your girl? What the hell is wrong with you?” Cristina slapped the side of his head. “Is it so horrifying to think that someone else might want her? Jo is hot and smart and funny and way too good to be putting up with your bullshit.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Alex exclaimed. “You think I don’t know that Jo could do so much better than me?” Alex let out a sigh of frustration. “I’m an ass, I’ve always been an ass. Jo saw that side of me and still loved me. She wanted me. Which is great and I’m thankful for it because I think she’s perfect. I think she’s amazing and everything any guy could ever want. So yeah, I feel threatened and I get defensive and mean and I lash out because I’m so freaking terrified she’s gonna realize that she could do so much better than me and leave me. Avery is better than me. He’s got the name and the looks and the money. And he’s a good, decent guy. He’s what she deserves. The years we’ve spent together will mean nothing if she finally realizes that there is someone out there that could offer her more than I ever could.”

“Are you dumb or stupid?” Cristina asked, prompting a scowl from Alex. “No, it’s a serious question. Are you an idiot? Because that might just be the dumbest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.”

“Oh shut up,” Alex glared at Cristina, walking away from her to sit on the bench behind them. “This is why people don’t tell you things.”

“Alex, I’m not making fun of you. I’m being serious,” Cristina sat next to Alex, eyeing him for a moment before speaking again. “You may be right, Avery might be everything you’re not but Jo doesn't care about that. There could be a million guys better than you lining up at her door begging her to be with them and she’s always going to choose you. She loves you, idiot. I don’t know why honestly, but that’s the only thing she cares about. She doesn’t care about the money or the name or how much that asswipe tries to butter her up with compliments, she’s only got eyes for your dumb ass. Get over your own insecurities before you push her away.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Alex sighed. “I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve never loved someone so much that I’m constantly worried that I’ll lose them. I’m used to losing people. I’m used to things being temporary and people turning their back on you or getting sick and being unable to help you or themselves. I’m used to all of that crap. But Jo… Jo’s the first person that I’ve ever had that I really can’t lose. I tell her all the time that I want forever with her, I tell her that I want to grow old with her, have kids with her, marry her one day. I tell her those things on a daily basis, but I hardly ever hear her say them in return. Sure she shows it, but it would be nice to hear it sometimes. It would be nice to know that she feels the same way too.”

Unbeknownst to Alex or Cristina, Jo had been listening in on the conversation from outside the lounge. She had left her ID badge in her locker so she’d made her way back down to retrieve it when she stumbled across the conversation going on between the pair of friends. Jo's heart sunk as she heard Alex's words of worry. She had no idea Alex felt that way. It was true, she didn't say it often, but Jo thought she'd made it clear that all she was waiting for was for Alex to ask and she'd marry him in a heartbeat. She didn't know that he was constantly terrified that she'd find someone better for her--as if that person existed--and leave him behind. She had to do something, say something that left him with no doubts about himself and the love she held for him.

***

The next morning, Jo walked up to Alex and pulled him into a nearby on-call room, interrupting the conversation he was having with Meredith who'd just returned to work. Alex raised his eyebrows in question when she locked the door behind them, "Oh, now you want to see me? After having Lexie, Izzie, and Cristina block me from getting within a hundred feet of you and switching with you so that you’re not stuck on a case with me all week?”

“Just shut up,” Jo leaned up and grabbed Alex’s face with both hands and leaned in to kiss him. Jo pulled away when she felt him tense up. “Alex, please. Relax.”

“Is this what you want from me? Sex? Because if that’s all you want, might as well go ask Avery. He’s more than willing to give it to you,” Alex pulled away and crossed his arms.

“Stop being an asshole,” Jo shoved him slightly. “God, I brought you in here because I miss you and I wanted to talk to you. Not because I want to use you for sex. I miss your voice and your hugs and your laugh and notes you slip into the pocket of my lab coat when I’m having a bad day and the way you wrap your arms around me when we sleep. But for some reason you think that I don’t care about those things. That I’m just using you to keep my bed warm until someone else comes along. I thought you knew me better than that.”

Alex had the decency to look a little ashamed of himself as he took a seat on one of the beds, “I’m sorry. I really am, Jo. I was… projecting my worries and fears onto you and that’s not fair to you. Not when all you’ve shown me is love and commitment.”

“I know,” Jo sighed. “Which is why I’m being much more gracious and forgiving than many people who advised me otherwise.” She sat down beside him. “This doesn’t mean that I’m excusing your behavior. Missing you and forgiving you doesn’t mean that what you did wasn’t wrong. It means that I love you enough to know that we are worth getting through this. After everything, what we have is too precious to just throw away.”

Alex spared a glance at Jo, “You’re not mad?”

“Oh, of course I’m mad. I’m livid and I’m hurt,” Jo replied, causing Alex to wince. “You are my best friend. You know me better than anyone has ever known me. You love me more than anyone has ever loved me. And still, you thought I was capable of betraying you? Of being unfaithful to you?” She blinked away a couple tears. “The fact that you don’t trust me hurt me more than anything. Because I trust you with everything, Alex. Even though it terrifies the crap out of me, I have given you all that I am and trusted you with it. I trust you with my medical decisions, my life, my body, my heart. So yeah, I’m hurt and upset, and I have every right to be. But you also have a right to be scared, because all your life you’ve been told that you aren’t good enough. And I get that, truly. Because for the longest time, I thought the same thing about myself. You know who showed me that I was good enough and worthy of love, though? You. You showed me that. So, now it’s time for me to show that you are too.”

Jo placed her hands back on Alex’s face, forcing him to look at her, “You are good enough. You are loved and worthy of every single bit of affection and care. You have the best, most kind, and gentle heart, even though you cover it up and I’m the only one who ever really gets to see it. Not everyone’s like you. Not everyone is good. There is no one who could ever replace you. Not when you take up every single one of my spare thoughts and when you practically hold my heart in your hands.”

Alex pressed his forehead against Jo’s, “God. I’m a jerk, aren’t I?”

“Sometimes,” Jo chuckled. “But it doesn’t take away from how good you are.”

“I don’t wanna fight anymore,” Alex released a breath. “I know I’ve still got things I need to work on and fix, but I don’t want to fight with you. This whole thing started because I was blinded with jealousy and scared I was gonna lose you. The most ironic thing is that for a minute there, I thought it was over. I thought I had really screwed it up this time. And it would’ve been my fault, because my behavior drove you away.”

“We’re not over,” Jo assured him. “I don’t ever want us to end. I want to die holding your hand like in the super cheesy rom-coms that Izzie and Lexie can watch for hours and sob over.”

“I do too,” Alex kissed Jo soundly. “Come back to our room. I hate sleeping without you. I can’t sleep without you.”

“Me neither,” Jo responded. She stood up and extended her hand. “Come on, we have to get to work. But I’ll see you tonight after our shifts?”

“Yeah.”

***

“Would you mind taking a detour?” Jo said as soon as Alex got inside the car later that evening when they walked out of the hospital.

“Why? Do you need me to drive you somewhere?” he looked at her. She could see the tiredness all over his eyes, but was too excited and nervous to back out.

“I want to take you somewhere. I know you’re tired, but this is really important to me,” she grabbed his hand.

“Okay, then. Wherever it is, here we go,” Alex shot a smile at her.

***

“What are we doing here? What is this place?” Alex frowned as they walked inside the empty space.

“It’s a loft space,” Jo followed him across the room.

“Jo, it’s a crime scene,” he turned around, facing her.

If he was honest, the place looked worse than a crime scene. It had clearly been occupied by wildlife and probably some of the homeless people he had seen outside, the whole room smelling of urine. He couldn’t really understand why Jo had been so insistent on bringing him here.

“Stop. You’re ruining it,” Jo complained, a frown playing onto her lips.

“Someone beat me to that,” he chuckled.

“Shut up. It’s all I can afford,” Jo stopped right in front of him, arms crossed as she avoided meeting his eyes.

“What?” Alex shook his head in confusion, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“I took everything. All my savings, everything that I had, and it was almost enough to cover the whole thing,” Jo said.

“Wait. You’re buying this? Alex stared at her incredulously.

“Well, we are, if you want to pitch in. I put in an offer,” Jo looked at Alex nervously, sounding almost doubtful about the words coming out of her mouth.

Alex looked around one more time. The space that had previously looked so useless to him suddenly gained a lot more meaning and potential. Still, he didn’t really know how to respond to what she was saying.

“This is what I want, Alex. I am very thankful for Meredith. She has been such a good friend, allowing all of us to live with her, but this is what I want. Our own place, for us. I saw this place, and I know it’s not much, and it’s obvious that we won’t be able to live here forever, especially if we ever decide to have a family of our own, but we can make it anything, whatever we want. Because I love you. And I love living with you, but I think it’s time for us to have our own place, just us. If you want that, if that’s what you want too. And, you know, it would make me the happiest person in the world if you did, because there isn’t anyone in the world I’d want to do this with. Hell, there isn’t anyone in the world that makes me safe enough to do this,” Jo paused. “I know I’d don’t say it very often, but I want it on record that I said it twice in one day. I want to be with you until I die. This is a step towards that. I want to build a life and a home with you. So, what do you say?” Jo asked. She was scared, but hopeful he would want to do that with her.

Alex pulled her close to his chest and closed the space between their lips. “I love you so much, Josephine,” he said, their foreheads touching while they smiled.

“So, is this a yes?” she asked.

“This is a hell yes. Let’s make this place our home.”

Did you ever doubt that we would fix it ? let us know what you thought about this chapter and what you'd hope to see later on in the comments below!

#jolex #jolex fanfic #alex karev #jo wilson #the one where they met in med school #jolex au #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy fanfic #jo x alex #grey's anatomy au #confrontations #loft spaces #meredith grey #jackson avery #cristina yang #izzie stevens #lexie grey

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rhosyn-du · 3 years

Text

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Four

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321 Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Four

Clary, it turned out, was very good at Land Mines. But so was Izzy. It only took a couple rounds for them to admit they played the game all the time, and a couple more rounds (both of which the Lightwoods lost) for Izzy to drunkenly (and loudly) explain that she thought it was hot when Clary got competitive.

Jace told her he didn’t want to hear about it, and he hoped he wasn’t tipsy enough for her to notice what a hypocrite he was in saying it. Because competitive Simon? Was so hot. And Simon was pretty much hot all the time, even when he was annoying the hell out of Jace, but Simon going all-out trying to prove himself, and doing it every damned time, was something else. It didn’t help that right now he was doing it dressed in a tighter than usual t-shirt that proclaimed him a “Jedi in the streets, Sith in the sheets” that Clary (who most definitely noticed Jace’s appreciation of how tight the shirt was) gleefully informed Jace had been a present from her.

“Another win for Team Fray-Lewis,” Simon proclaimed as his coin spun to a stop without touching any of the glasses on the table. He and Clary bumped fists without even looking at each other, and Simon flashed Jace a smug grin that did things to him. “Let’s see you top that, hotshot.”

Jace returned a cocky grin of his own. “You should know better by now than to question my skills.”

Thankfully for Jace’s ego, and his liver, his own spin came tumbling to rest right before hitting a double-size shot glass of tequila. The same shot glass Clary’s coin hit moments later.

Clary winced. “Sorry, Si.”

“All right,” Simon said, narrowing his eyes. “All right.” He downed his shot and licked the excess from his lips in a way that Jace found very distracting. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Simon was doing it on purpose. “We’ve still got this.”

“Damn right we do,” Clary agreed, knocking back her own shot and then grabbing Izzy for a messy kiss. “A kiss for luck,” she announced.

“I’m not even on your team, silly,” Izzy giggled.

By the time they finished the game, Jace and Izzy having only just squeaked by with a win, the party was in full swing, and Jace was feeling pleasantly buzzed. With several hours left to go until midnight, he decided to pass on the cocktail Magnus offered him in favor of plain soda. As much as he’d joked about hangovers, that was the last way he wanted to start the new year, especially since he had plans with Alec and Magnus the next day, and they both seemed to be somehow magically immune to hangovers.

Jace let himself get swept up in the atmosphere of the party: dancing, joking with his siblings, getting into an inane argument with Magnus’s friend Ragnor about which of Scott Joplin’s works was most influential. And somehow, he always managed to find himself back by Simon’s side. He should have been doing it as part of keeping up the appearance of being his boyfriend, but it was less that he was intentionally trying to spend time around Simon and more that he was allowing himself not to not be around Simon. The realization should have annoyed him, but somehow it didn’t.

Especially since Simon seemed just as drawn to his side. Which was probably Simon keeping up appearances, since he’d proven himself to be incredibly good at it so far. It was almost comfortable. Right up until it was something else entirely.

Jace and Simon had been chatting with Dot—a friend of Magnus’s who’d apparently been a neighbor of Clary’s and Simon’s when they were kids—when Clary, who had clearly not stopped drinking after their game, interrupted by throwing her arms over Jace and Dot’s shoulders. “You guys should come dance with me,” she told them. “Izzy’s busy talking to Magnus about shoes, and I wanna dance, and you guys are like three of my very favorite people who aren’t Izzy, so I want you to dance with me.”

“Of course,” Dot laughed, wrapping an arm around Clary’s waist and twirling her toward the makeshift dance floor Magnus and Alec had made in their living room.

“You guys, come on!” Clary called over her shoulder, tripping and nearly falling before Dot caught her and turned it into a shaky dip.

Simon looked at Jace and offered his hand. “There’s really no point in arguing. She’s even more stubborn drunk than she is sober.”

“That’s a terrifying thought,” Jace said, taking Simon’s hand and following him onto the dance floor.

Jace lost track of how long they spent dancing, first with Clary and Dot, switching partners every few minutes at Clary’s enthusiastic insistence, and then just with each other after Izzy reappeared and Clary abandoned them to go cling to her girlfriend like some kind of hyper-affectionate koala.

“I honestly can’t believe she’s still standing,” Simon said. “She’s had at least three margaritas since we finished our game, and I didn’t even want to think about drinking after that many shots.”

“She was probably consoling herself after you guys lost so badly,” Jace said, moving closer than the music or space strictly demanded. “I wouldn’t know what it’s like, but losing sure seems like it would suck.”

“Uh huh,” Simon said. “Because you winning by a single shot was so very impressive.”

“It really was,” Jace agreed.

The music made a surprisingly smooth transition from pounding bass to Duke Ellington, and Simon grabbed Jace’s hand to pull him into some kind of swing dance that Jace was not at all familiar with.

“Really?” Simon asked with obvious relish. “You don’t know how to Lindy Hop?”

“I’m not an old man or terminally nerdy, so no,” Jace answered, not quite managing to follow Simon’s steps, but not making a complete fool out of himself either. He supposed that was one good thing to come out of that ridiculous mandatory high school PE swing dance unit.

“So, are you calling Magnus old or a nerd?” Simon asked, nodding to the other side of the dance floor, where Magnus was twirling Dot like they were both professional dancers.

“Magnus is a special case,” Jace said.

“Because your brother would murder you in your sleep for saying anything bad about him?” Simon suggested.

Jace snorted a laugh. “I plead the fifth.”

“You know what I think?” Simon asked, doing a rock-step then smoothly maneuvering Jace into a gentle twirl.

“I’m sure you’re going to tell me,” Jace said.

“I think you just don’t know how to deal with not being good at something. So you’re an ass about anything you aren’t good at.”

“Nah,” Jace said, attempting to mimic Simon’s earlier move and managing to awkwardly spin him into a twirl of his own. “You just always react so well when I’m an ass to you that I can’t resist doing it.”

“Ah, got it. So you’re basically saying you never matured past middle school.”

“You’re one to talk about maturity. Do I need to remind you that the first thing you did when I introduced you to my sister was ask to see her Lego collection?”

“In my defense,” Simon said, “I was trying to save us all from probable food poisoning.” He executed another twirl, this time one that ended with his arms wrapped around Jace from behind, which Jace definitely felt no way at all about. “Also, it was a really great Lego collection.”

The music changed again, back to a modern club beat, and Jace felt some of the tension leave his body. This was the kind of music he knew how to dance to. And maybe there was just the tiniest bit of truth to what Simon had said about him not knowing how to be bad at things.

It was just natural and not at all pettiness over Simon being right that had him rolling his hips with the beat of the new song, which just consequently happened to grind his ass back against Simon’s crotch. And, okay, there was maybe just the tiniest bit of satisfaction in hearing Simon’s sharp intake of breath.

“Just try not to do that when someone you’re actually dating brings you home for the first time.”

Jace wasn’t entirely sure how to identify what he felt when Simon leaned forward to speak directly in his ear. “And what do you think I should have done?” Simon’s breath was hot against his skin. “If we were actually dating?”

Jace spun around to face him. “If we were actually dating, Alec would have been on his own defending dinner from Izzy, because I wouldn’t have taken you back downstairs until I was done very thoroughly showing you my bedroom.”

It came out sounding much less like a joke than he intended, the truth behind his words bleeding through his shaky bravado. And he knew Simon heard it, could see it in the soft surprise of his parted lips, could feel it in the faint tremor of the hand he still held.

“I guess,” Simon said, tongue darting out to wet his lips, drawing Jace’s eyes, “it’s a good thing for our digestive systems that we weren’t actually dating.”

This had been a mistake. Dancing with Simon like this, touching him like this. Inviting him to the party in the first place. This whole damned fake dating plan. Jace wanted desperately to lean in and trace the path of Simon’s tongue with his own.

“I don’t know,” he said instead. “I think it probably would have been worth it.”

They weren’t even pretending to dance now, Simon standing stock still, watching him as if trying to puzzle him out. Finally, he took a step back, loosening his hold. “Jace—”

“Attention, dearest friends and tolerated acquaintances!” Magnus’s voice rang through the loft as the music came to a sudden halt. Jace stayed as he was, unwilling to bring himself to let go of Simon entirely, unable to look away, and Simon seemingly similarly caught.

“We have invited you here this evening to help us ring in the new year, which, if you direct your attention to the clock right over there, you will see is now a mere thirty seconds away. So, grab your drink, grab your sweetie—or an attractive stranger, I won’t judge—and get ready to count down to a brand new year!”

Jace barely noticed as the countdown began around him, focused as he was on Simon. He only really caught on to what was happening when Simon’s lips began to move, softly counting down with the crowd even as his eyes never left Jace’s.

Jace had plenty of time to think through what he was about to do, with enough left over to second- and third-guess himself. Some people might have said thirty seconds wasn’t long enough to make a reasoned choice, but for someone like Jace, who made an art out of making impulsive, split-second decisions, thirty seconds was practically an eternity. He watched Simon’s lips form the final count of “one,” heard the crowd around them erupt into shouts of “Happy New Year!” and then he was surging forward.

Simon met him halfway, the kiss bruising and desperate. Jace was dimly aware of people around him laughing and cheering, but his entire world was narrowed down to this one moment, to this kiss. If their previous kisses had been chaste and family-appropriate, this was anything but. Simon kissed like he wanted to crawl inside Jace, one hand on the small of his back, pulling him close, the other tangled in his hair. Jace kind of wanted Simon to crawl inside him.

When Simon finally broke the kiss, Jace had to hold himself back from chasing his swollen, spit-slick lips. But whatever Simon saw when he looked at Jace had him muttering a soft “shit” before diving back in for more, so Jace considered it an all-around win.

Jace licked into Simon’s mouth, sliding the fingers of one hand under the hem of his shirt enough to trace along the waistband of his jeans, just above his hip. Simon shuddered and made a soft, desperate sound, and Jace made it his mission to elicit more of those sounds, to drive Simon just as crazy as those sounds were driving him.

When they broke the kiss for the second time, it was prompted by a sharp whistle that Jace would have recognized anywhere as Izzy’s followed by a cheer of, “Yeah, get it, Simon!” from Clary.

Simon looked slightly embarrassed at just how carried away they’d managed to get in the middle of a party, but Jace just smirked and threw a wink at his sister and her girlfriend.

A quick look around showed that, despite Izzy and Clary’s very loud attention, most of the partygoers were too involved in their own celebrations to be paying much attention to Jace and Simon, although it also seemed like the rest of them had long since finished up their celebratory kisses. The only other people paying them any attention at all were Magnus and Alec, who were standing nearby.

Alec wore the look of long-suffering fondness he often wore around Jace. “Please don’t have sex in my living room,” he said when he caught Jace’s eye.

“We weren’t—” Simon spluttered. “We wouldn’t—”

“At least use the guest room like civilized people,” Magnus added. Much less fondly, Jace thought.

“Oh god,” Simon muttered as Magnus swept off to speak with other guests, Alec in tow. “I’m never going to live this down. Fray is going to be teasing me about this until the day I die. And I think your brother hates me now.”

“Alec doesn’t hate you,” Jace said. “You would know if Alec hated you; he is not subtle. I’m sure he considers this one-hundred percent my fault.”

“Okay, but Magnus definitely hates me.”

“Dude,” Jace said, squeezing Simon’s shoulder, “Magnus doesn’t hate you, either. He wouldn’t have offered us his guest room if he hated you.”

Simon gave him a flat look. “Pretty sure he didn’t actually intend for us to use the guest room. We’d have to have basically no shame to just ditch the party and run off to the guest room to have sex after Clary and Izzy drew so much attention to us making out like horny teenagers in public.”

“You’ve known me how long, and you still operate under the misapprehension that I’m capable of shame?” Jace teased.

Except. Except he was only half-teasing, because he would absolutely ditch this party to go have sex with Simon in the guest room if he thought Simon was even a little bit interested in that. Hell, he’d ditch the party to have sex with Simon in the fucking closet.

And he was pretty sure Simon knew it, because Simon was staring at him again, with that same intensity he had right before they’d kissed. Jace smirked and very deliberately ran a tongue over his lower lip.

“I hate you,” Simon said without heat before dragging Jace into a quick, filthy kiss. “Where’s the guest room?”

Jace didn’t answer, just grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the hallway that led to the guest suite.

It took them several minutes to actually make it into the guest room because Jace decided halfway there that he kind of desperately needed to be kissing Simon again. It was like a dam had broken, and now that he was allowed to kiss Simon, really kiss him, he couldn’t seem to stop. But that was okay, because Simon didn’t seem interested in stopping, either.

When they finally stumbled into the guest room, Jace found himself promptly pinned against the door, Simon’s body pressing against him in a long, hard line, a situation which Jace found himself more than okay with.

“This,” Simon muttered between kisses, “is probably a terrible idea.”

“Yeah,” Jace agreed, sliding one leg between Simon’s leg to press against the bulge in his jeans and trying to ignore the bitter twist in his gut. “You want to stop?”

“Fuck,” Simon panted, grinding against Jace’s leg. “Really no.” He slid his hands beneath Jace’s shirt, pushing it up in a clear indication he wanted it off. “Just making sure we’re both on the same page with regard to our mutual terrible decision making.”

“You know me,” Jace said, raising his arms obligingly and helping Simon tug his shirt over his head. “Making terrible decisions with pretty people is kind of my thing.”

Jace’s shirt fell to the floor, and Simon just sort of froze for a second before reaching out and sliding his hands up Jace’s chest almost reverently. “God,” he muttered, “you are just unfairly hot.” His hands stilled suddenly, and he met Jace’s eyes, brows furrowed. “You think I’m pretty?”

“Yes, dumbass,” Jace said, reaching up to cup Simon’s face. “Did the last ten minutes not clue you in?”

“I—”

Jace silenced whatever Simon was about to say with another kiss. With as much as he was feeling right now, kissing was safer than talking. He’d probably said too much already.

He flipped them around so he was pressing Simon into the door, breaking the kiss just long enough to say, “Oh, hey, I found an effective way to make you stop talking. Should have thought of this sooner.”

“Fuck you,” Simon mumbled against his mouth.

“Maybe later,” Jace told him, tugging at Simon’s belt. “Right now I just need to get my hands on you.”

“Yeah,” Simon agreed dazedly as Jace worked open his jeans. “Yeah, okay, that sounds really—” He broke off with an almost wounded noise as Jace reached inside his boxers and wrapped a hand around his cock.

Jace kissed him again, slow and deliberate just like the hand on Simon’s cock. Jace felt back on firmer ground, now. This, sex, was something he understood, something he was good at. Slick tongues and writhing bodies were far more straightforward—far less dangerous—than feelings.

For a few strokes, Simon seemed content to just take what Jace was giving him, but then he was kissing back with almost bruising intensity and fumbling open Jace’s pants to wrap a calloused hand around his dick, and it was everything.

Jace lost track of things at that point, lost in the feel of Simon’s deft fingers around his cock, of Simon thrusting into his hand, of Simon’s mouth on his own, of Simon. And then Simon was murmuring something unintelligible against Jace’s mouth as the movement of his hips became erratic and then he was shaking apart in Jace’s arms, coming all over his hand and abdomen, and Jace thought, as he followed Simon over the edge seconds later, it might have been the hottest thing he’d ever experienced.

“Holy shit,” Simon said after they’d both caught their breath. “That actually just happened.”

Jace let out a soft huff of laughter. “You noticed, huh?” He stepped back just enough that he could see Simon’s face and was dismayed at the wariness he found there.

“I guess,” Simon said, “I should probably get cleaned up and, like. Go?”

There was a pit forming in Jace’s stomach, and he hated it.

“Alternate plan,” he offered with far more assurance than he felt. “We both get cleaned up, and then we find out how nice the sheets are on Alec and Magnus’s guest bed. I was planning to sleep here tonight anyway.” Whatever this was, Jace wasn’t ready for it to end yet.

“Oh,” Simon said on a heavy exhale. “That’s—” He swallowed hard. “I don’t want to, like, intrude, or—”

He broke off as Jace took his hand, the one covered in come, and slowly and deliberately began licking it clean, eyes never leaving Simon’s. Simon watched, entranced, barely breathing.

When Jace was satisfied he’d gotten every drop, he smirked up through lowered lashes. “Simon. Come to bed with me?”

“Yeah,” Simon said breathily. “Okay. But if Magnus decides he hates me, I’m blaming you.”

“Do me a favor, and don’t talk about my future brother-in-law when I just had my hand down your pants.” Then, because it had proven such an effective way to get Simon to stop talking in the past (and definitely not for any other reason), Jace kissed him.

By the time they’d finished cleaning up and tumbled into bed, Jace was feeling loose and sleepy. He abandoned his previous, half-formed plans of getting Simon’s dick in his mouth in favor of lazy, unhurried kisses and caresses that were maybe too gentle for what this was. There would be time for blowjobs later. In the morning, maybe. After sleep, in any case.

Jace wasn’t aware of when kissing Simon in reality bled into dream.

~~~

Jace wasn’t hungover when he woke. He kind of wished he were hungover, because that would provide an explanation for why the world didn’t seem quite set straight and he felt vaguely nauseous that had nothing to do with the cold, empty bed he woke up in.

It was stupid to be upset Simon hadn’t stayed. Jace knew it was stupid. He’d known going in that it wouldn’t be more than a one-time thing. Simon had flat-out said it was a mistake. But there was a part of him that had thought—had hoped—maybe Simon would change his mind.

Telling himself he was just upset over having lost the chance for that morning blowjob he’d been planning, Jace forced himself out of bed and into the shower. The shower in Alec and Magnus’s guest suite was kind of amazing, with one of those rainfall shower heads and hot water that just never seemed to end. It helped ease some of Jace’s tension, and by the time he finished showering and pulled on some clothes, he was feeling almost back to his normal self.

Alec greeted him as he stepped out into the living room, already having claimed a spot on the couch. The room was back to its normal configuration, couch and loveseat facing a large, flat-screen TV. The coffee table held a giant plate of nachos, a bag of dry roast peanuts, and a disgustingly large tub of Red Vines.

“Welcome to the land of the living,” Alec said. “I was starting to worry you were going to miss the opening kick.”

“Please,” Jace said, flopping down onto the other couch. “I haven’t missed the opening kick of a bowl game since I was eleven, and that was only because you gave me the stomach flu.”

“Don’t blame me for that!” Alec protested. “Izzy was the one who started barfing first. If anyone brought that into the house, it was her.”

“Izzy didn’t give me big, sad puppy dog eyes and ask me to hold her hair back.”

“Hey,” Alec said, “we don’t talk about the hair, okay? Everyone makes at least one big mistake in their life, and mine was my seventh grade Zac Efron hair.”

“It’s my duty as your brother to make sure you never forget any terrible fashion choices you’ve made,” Jace said around a mouthful of nachos.

“You know that means it’s my duty as a brother to do the same for you, right?”

“You can try,” Jace said breezily, “but you and I both know I’ve never made any terrible fashion choices.”

“Two words for you,” Alec said. “Parachute pants.”

“They were on trend at the time,” Jace insisted. “My parachute pants were cool.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Jace. Parachute pants were never cool.”

Jace decided to be mature about the whole thing and chucked a Red Vine at Alec’s head. Alec ducked, then picked up the Red Vine from where it had landed on his shoulder and popped it into his mouth.

“That’s disgusting,” Jace told him. “I can’t believe you still eat those things.”

“It’s tradition,” Alec said with a shrug. “I only eat them on New Year’s. Besides, I like the sweetened wax aesthetic they’ve got going on.”

“Disgusting,” Jace repeated, pulling a Red Vine out of the tub for himself.

“Hey,” Alec said, suddenly serious, “you didn’t have to stay, you know.” When Jace just stared at him in confusion, he added, “You could have gone to Simon’s family thing with him. I wouldn’t have minded.”

Jace scoffed. “Of course I couldn’t.” He hadn’t even known Simon had a family thing today. “It’s tradition, like the Red Vines. Just because I’m dating someone and you’re about to get married doesn’t mean I’m going to flake on our New Year’s tradition.”

“Well, you should probably be prepared to make it up to your man when you get home,” Alec said. “He looked kinda upset when he left this morning.”

Jace’s earlier nausea returned suddenly, with full force. “He did?”

“Oh, don’t look like that. I’m sure he’ll get over it. The guy clearly adores you.”

“Yeah,” Jace said, pasting on a smile. “He does.”

“And I am glad you’re here,” Alec added. “I love Magnus, but he doesn’t understand football.”

“Not a fan, huh?”

“Worse,” Alec groaned. “He’s a Big Red fan. And he always gets so smug when they win.”

“And you’re sure you want to marry this guy?” Jace joked.

“Yeah,” Alec said, his whole demeanor softening. “I really am.”

“Which is a good thing, because our catering deposit is definitely non-refundable,” Magnus interjected, bringing a wings-laded plate to join the rest of the snacks on the table. “Besides, if I can get over the fact that you actually attended Columbia, you can deal with my allegiance to the clearly superior Ivy League team.”

“I’m not sure you can say you’re over it when you still say ‘Columbia’ like it’s a dirty word,” Alec observed.

“Nonsense,” Magnus said, settling onto the couch next to his fiancé. “I say dirty words with a great deal more relish. That was, in fact, an insult to dirty words.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Alec said, rolling his eyes.

“That, we can agree on.”

“If you two are done being sappy,” Jace said, grabbing the TV remote and unmuting the pre-game commentary, “there’s about to be a game on.”

They were not, it turned out, done being sappy, but their cheerful bickering was almost enough to distract Jace from having woken up alone. Almost.

#shadowhunters #shmb2021 #jimon #jimon fic #jace wayland #simon lewis

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