#in which i revisit all the stories i was obsessed with when i started watching supernatural

[caruliaa]

naur now im upset with myself over something very dumb. not becuase in other circumstances this wouldnt be something worth being upset about but becuase rn why do i care

[creative-type]

First, I've been loving all of your analyses on One Piece, FMA, and other series. It teaches me a lot about writing and makes me appreciate these authors' skills in ways I hadn't before despite regarding them so highly.

I mainly wanted to ask, how did you get so good at doing analysis?

I want to write stories myself when I'm a lot older and wiser, but I have trouble picking up on the existence of tropes and subtle implementation of various things like foreshadowing, themes, and character development. It also makes me feel really nervous to start writing as a result since I have no idea where to start. I feel like knowing how to analyze as well as you do would help greatly with all that and help me get started on making a story. I really hope this isn't too much. Thank you.

First things first, I would advise you to not wait to start writing. Everyone sucks when they start out at a new skill, and all the preparation in the world won’t do as much good as actually doing the thing. There are way to many people out there who psych them out of trying new things and hobbies because they think they aren’t ready, so they study and read books and watch videos, and at the end of the day never start. Don’t be one of those people. To be good at something, you must first suck at that thing. Embrace the suck, for by doing you will learn how to suck less.

That being said, I have always had more of an analytical mind and was lucky enough that my mom was a teacher who during summer vacations paid me and my siblings a penny a page to read and offered a dollar a page for book reports, and would discuss with us what we were reading. Analysis is a skill that can be developed, and the questions I always start with are “What is the author trying to say?” and “Were they successful in saying it?”. There are others who come at it from different angles and there are many theories of media analysis, but that has always been the most interesting to me. It forces me to pay attention not to what the characters are literally saying on the page, and peel back the layers of process till I reach what I believe to be the authorial intent.

In high school and into my college years I was pretty obsessed with the tumblr @reasoningwithvampires, which ruthlessly dissected the Twilight series on a sentence by sentence scale, both in its offenses against the English language and how it fails to be an effective love story. It was a big inspiration for what I do with my One Piece blog, and I attribute it to significantly improvising my college exit score in English despite never taking an English or literature class while in college. I also listen to a lot of YouTube analysis videos for film, video games, and books. You have to be discerning though, and stay way from reactionary, bad faith analysis. But even bad analysis can teach about good analysis, and if you find yourself reading or watching something you think is fundamentally wrong, build up an argument in your head as to why. In that way you open up a dialogue (even if it’s only in your own mind) not just between yourself and the author, but the greater community as a whole.

Good analysis takes time and thought. Most things I write for I have read more than once. Read initially for pure enjoyment, but if you like something enough to revisit it, take your time to read slowly and critically, and again always ask questions. Why did this plot twist work? Where did the author insert foreshadowing? What themes were introduced in the first act the get paid off in the third? As you become more practiced you’ll pick up on these things even on an initial read through. If you’re interested in a specific genre, try to learn the history and development of that genre. Read the classics and figure out why they’re classics, and see how they’ve influenced whatever came after. In that way you’ll learn more about what you love, because stories are always in dialogue with the past while setting the standard for the future.

But mostly don’t be afraid to suck, because you will suck. My first stories and analysis were bad, shallow, and poorly written. But over time you will find your own voice and develop a style all your own. It’s okay to start small, but don’t ever, ever stop yourself from starting.

[seagreenstardust]

I’m gonna say something that’s probably not going to be well received in certain circles so let me start by saying this: I believe, with only a few rare exceptions, that you should be able to ship whatever speaks to you the most. And just because I don’t ship something doesn’t mean it’s wrong for anyone else to ship it, and the same for things I do ship, no one else has to ship it too. Who you do or don’t ship will never be a reason I pass judgment on you, ever. Live your best life.

That being said, I want to talk about Horikoshi and straight ships.

(And bakudeku.)

Here’s the thing: Hori has written straight ships into MHA and he’s done it so masterfully that it’s made me ship them without even realizing it. I don’t know if we can call them canon because as far as I know no ship is actually canon yet, but what is canon is the care Hori put into building these relationships.

Kirimina. Hori wrote in a backstory that parallels bkdk that I just adore. There is something about Kiri looking up to Mina and being so inspired by her bravery that it shapes the hero he becomes that is such good content. They’ve had multiple mid-battle moments of protecting and helping each other. I ship Kirimina so hard because of the canon Hori gave us.

I am a low key Denki/Hitoshi shipper but season six kinda hit me in the face with whatever we’re calling Kyouka/Denki these days and now I guess I’m a multi-shipper???? That is how hard Hori hit me with the Kyouka/Denki feels. And he did it the same way as Kirimina, because we have years of content of Kyouka teasing Denki mercilessly, plus the cultural festival band, so when they’re separated in Season 6 and Denki has this intense moment of realization that she’s who he needs to be brave for and it actually works??? I’m a goner.

Heck, I ship todomomo too you guys though I can’t blame Hori for that one, that’s just me being me. The point is that I ship it because the characters Hori gave me struck a chord inside.

But there is one straight ship Hori never once made me ship.

Every time izu*cha showed up I just kinda endured it? It just wasn’t for me. I didn’t see two kids with chemistry, I saw two kids who didn’t know who they were or what they wanted fumbling their way through a will they/won’t they without either of them seeming all that invested in it.

In six seasons and nearly 400 chapters and multiple times revisiting the story I have never once felt any inclination to ship izu*cha

Hori can write straight ships. Hori made me ship his secondary straight ships nearly effortlessly. So if izu*cha was meant to be canon why have I never once felt the chemistry?

You know who has the chemistry? Bakudeku. But here’s the thing: I wasn’t thinking about Katsuki as a possible love interest for Izuku the first time I watched the entire story. I honestly wasn’t paying much attention to him at all, he was everything I didn’t like on the surface so I more or less ignored him despite Izuku holding onto him for dear life. Katsuki never once colored my opinion of izu*cha, they did that all on their own.

It wasn’t until after my first watch through, when I was hungry for more and trolling around tumblr, that I realized people shipped Katsuki and Izuku and it was literally like something out of alignment popped into place in my head.

Oh. Duh. That’s the ship.

I went from zero to a million in a handful of seconds because the chemistry was there, the backstory was there, and boy are Izuku and Katsuki loud about how obsessed they are with each other. Just like Kirimina, just like Denki and Kyouka, Hori planted the seeds throughout the entire series so that when it was brought to my attention everything about the narrative and character development supported it.

And I have to take a moment to explain my dislike of Katsuki at first: I honestly fell for the surface-level interpretation of his character and then kinda wrote him off without much more thought. Which is insane to think about because you can’t really understand MHA without Katsuki, he is so integral to the story as a whole that any version of it without him is skewed so far out of alignment that it’s not even the same story anymore. But I just saw angry boy who yells for no reason and put Katsuki in a box and left it at that.

It wasn’t until I was willing to give his character a second look that I started understanding him, and more importantly, his relationship with Izuku. And it helped that when bkdk was presented to me as a ship that my brain understood immediately why it worked. The canon source material supports bkdk at every possible moment.

I really don’t think it does the same for izu*cha.

[sitp-recs]

3 Tacky shorts to read this week

I ran against time to get this post out before midnight ET but am still a bit late 🥲 I know T won’t mind so here’s my belated gift to my sun and stars, my first and dearest partner in crime @tackytigerfic! T, I have no words to describe how much I appreciate our friendship. It’s been so special to experience this fandom with you in the last few years. I love that we immediately hit off and share one stupid brain cell when it comes to these idiots; it feels like we’ve known each other forever and 24 hours (especially living so far apart) is not enough to talk fic, headcanons, kinks, squicks and all other irl and existencial topics with you. Navigating such a big fandom can be really scary but even when nobody knew me I’d never feel lonely, invisible or like I had to pretend to be someone else, because I had you by my side. Thank you so so much for being my safe harbour, my sicko soulmate, my confidant, my role model and my biggest cheerleader!

As I thought of new ways to celebrate your day I tried to remember which fics I hadn’t written a rec for. I came to realize that I was never able to put my thoughts into words when it comes to my 3 favorite short fics of yours. They got me in such a Drarry fever, a tingling incoherent state of emotional devastation that I immediately put away the idea of doing recs because there was no possible way to translate my raw, ugly and chaotic feels about them. I tend to do this with fics that leave me with the so-called hangover once I’m done; funnily enough, the last time this happened - when I read Lettered’s By the Grace - it was you who helped me get that rec out by reviewing it and cheering me along the way, tysm 🥹 now it’s time to respond in kind and share love for these short gems that I have the privilege to revisit every time I need some comfort food. Lucky me, it turns out my best pal writes the exact brand of tender romance that checks all of my boxes. You are a fantastic friend and such a brilliant, talented writer. I love and admire you, and I’m so proud of everything you’ve achieved. Can’t wait to see what comes next. Happy day T! 💜

👩‍🚀 Far Side + Relic Radiation (M, 1.7k)

Draco goes into space, leaving behind his son Scorpius (who has just started at Hogwarts, at least), and his not-quite-boyfriend Harry Potter. But Harry can't stop loving Draco just because he's approximately 408km up, in constant orbit.

“You’ll kill that plant,” Draco said, and flicked a lazy charm over the pot with his fingers so the spicy smell of the lavender sharpened the night air.

“You’ll kill me,” Harry said, and Draco turned his face towards the darkened sky, lunar pale, his profile some stupid unearthly thing—a flaring blazar, a supernova—in the light from the kitchen window.

When I say the heart kick factor may hit you in the solar plexus when you least expect, this is what I’m talking about. I’ve obsessed so much over these 2 tiny shorts with single dad!Draco (one of the tropes Tacky does magic with, they are so disgustingly romantic and emotionally satisfying - gimme T’s dad!Draco anthology or give me nothing!!!) that I came up with a whole theory to prove these stories are actually connected. Whether I’m on the right track or just another delusional reader it’s yet to be seen 🤣 Draco’s devotion to baby Scorpius - and Harry’s gentle yearning for the both of them - does things to my poor heart I can’t quite put into words. Let that boy have his found family happy ending, damn it. Every time I reread these gems I get teared up and wish I could stay in this verse forever, watching Scorp grow while these two lovely men find each other time and again. To make your heart melt a bit more, check the breathtaking artwork by the one and only @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm. I cannot— *cries in Drarry*

🏜️ Between the Power Lines (M, 3k)

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy.

In New Orleans, they got drunk on Bourbon Street, and Malfoy danced on his own (arms bare, laughing; Harry could have watched him all night) and later on, so late it was almost morning, they let themselves into the St Louis Cemetery—Malfoy unpicking the lock so sweetly—and walked around until the sky was pink-edged with the promise of another day’s heat. Then they sat on the steps of a crypt, watched over by sightless eyes of the statue of an angel. She looked exhausted rather than sad, Harry thought, and that made a lot of sense when he thought about his own longstanding, dull-edged grief.

The best word to describe this (literally) hot fic is “atmospheric”. T does a flawless job building impeccable Americana vibes and packing so much story while keeping it 100% character-driven. I love the elegant, contained, confident writing, I love the evocative prose and how the mutual attraction bleeds through these quiet but intense road trip vignettes. The scenario is rich and immersive, the heat so palpable you can almost taste it, and the confession at the end is my definition of peak romance. A whole sensorial experience, both introspective and exciting, vibrant and melancholy, packed within 3k. Absolutely genius.

🎯Aim For My Heart (M, 3.4k)

Harry's in love, Ron's in control, and Draco just wants a nice lunch. They say three's a crowd, but Harry doesn't always agree. Not when he gets to be in the middle, anyway.

Neither of them had asked Harry what he likes best about them, but Harry watches them and feels the sick curl of excitement low in his belly, like something lost and gained all at once, and he wonders what he’d say if they did ask; would it be mouth or hands or arse, the gleam of clean hair or the hidden scent of a freshly-revealed patch of skin, blue eyes or grey? He doesn’t think he’d tell them what he really loves the most, and that’s the fact that both of them have been his for such a long time, in one way or another, and he loves that he gets to keep them.

For reference, this will always be the Dronarry classic I refer to when I think about this ship. The way Tacky explored the implications and complications of a triad relationship in its early stages (I am so fucking weak for that mix of want, jealousy and vulnerability) combined with exquisite characterization is so well executed I could cry. Beyond that banger of a starting line (“Big hands,” Draco says, and blushes) that made me blush and squeal in delight, Harry’s POV is a triumph. He’s genuinely lovely and relatable in all his yearning and insecurities, soft and longing for both Draco and Ron. The ideia of him realizing that he gets to be loved by, and keep the two people he loves the most in the world, makes my heart burst with warmth. I can pinpoint all the small, quiet but meaningful moments that made my breath stutter and my heart beat faster. This fic is a masterclass in elaborating complex and conflicting emotions, while solving them with a light hand of tenderness and understanding. It is subtle but efficient and all-encompassing in a way that stays with you for a long time after you’ve finished reading. The perfect triad fic.

[pretendfan]

{Mickey & Readers infinite mixtape}

Mickey Altieri x F! Reader

A/N: I’ve been meaning to revisit this and actually finish it, but other ideas (Timothy inspired obviously) had gotten in the way until now, so here it is Side B I hope you enjoy it and check out the songs!🖤

“Imagine being in a relationship with Mickey Altieri, from the very first meeting to the last breath it’s all here, the songs that would bind you to him and haunt you forever…there is two sides to every story.”

Warnings: 18 plus only, swearing, mentions of sex, oral sex (m receiving), p in v, cheesy af, mentions of danger, murder and death…

• Side B •

1. When you sleep - My Bloody Valentine

•Mickey watches you sleep with a small smile on his face, headphones on he didn’t manage to sleep any but it was comforting to have you in his bed beside him.

•He could stare at your face all day memorising your features, because he was officially obsessed with you, like his favourite movie the one that he could watch over and over.

•Only problem was that he wished his jock roommate Derek wasn’t here, getting rid of him was very high on his wish list, the thought makes Mickey grin to himself…all in due time.

2. Start choppin’ - Dinosaur Jr

•It’s unheard of when you find yourself losing Mickey, as in you cannot find him anywhere on campus, and when even Randy doesn’t know where he is you start to worry.

•Acting goofy sure but Mickey is acting weird his eyes keep watching your every move, like a skittish animal but he won’t tell you what’s wrong, after finding him in the theatre watching Sidney rehearse you start to feel jealous.

•”It’s not what it looks like-“

“This isn’t funny Mickey, you’ve been acting different what’s up?”

“Babe, I’m busy with classes and Derek was supposed to meet me here but I ended up chatting with Sid.” Mickey informs you with a final shrug as if that was that but you only had so many more questions left unanswered.

3. Touch me in sick - Mudhoney

•Dark alleyways have never held such appeal until right now, after leaving the bar you end up being dragged into the dark by Mickey, hands held tightly as he pushes you up against a cold brick wall.

•”I don’t think I can wait until we are back at college, I need you now.” Mickey explains hurriedly in between wet kisses as his hand travels up inside your denim skirt.

“You need to calm down-“

“I’d much rather do this.” States Mickey his warm fingers sneaking their way into your underwear, which makes a smile spread across your face as a sigh falls from your open mouth.

•When his fingers are not enough Mickey picks you up, legs wrapped around his waist as he lets you ride his cock a hand placed over your mouth, in case you screamed too loudly but the excitement alone of being caught has you reaching your end pretty quickly.

4. Fake plastic Trees - Radiohead

•Now wasn’t the time to be having this conversation but you needed to say something, Mickey was acting so distant ever since that night in the alleyway, even right now in the library together but he was somewhere else entirely.

•”Where are you Altieri?” You ask causing him to slowly look up, as if you had only just appeared and not been watching him for almost an hour, as he stared into space making you feel like you were better off elsewhere.

“Let’s not argue now.” Mickey declares in a passive aggressive tone that has you wanting to pursue this line of confrontation further.

“What time would be best for you? Stop acting as if nothing is happening and tell me-“

“Look, I need to go.” States Mickey already grabbing his trusty video camera and books as he stands to go, not even saying goodbye which leaves tears stinging your eyes angrily.

5. Master of puppets - Metallica

•Waiting for Mickey to apologise was taking longer than you thought, why was he acting so shitty around you, things had been going quite well until now.

•Leaving your dorm to get to class you are surprised to see Mickey, even more so when you notice he isn’t alone, standing by a tree a short distance away with an older woman maybe they were family or something you had no clue.

“What the fuck were you even doing spying on me?” Mickey questions angrily when you meet him for coffee, making the effort after classes no doubt, asking him who he’d been with earlier had been a very bad idea…but why?

6. Plowed - Sponge

•Laying under Mickey you watch his brown eyes scanning yours, both in his bed whilst he made up for snapping at you in the library, slow make up sex that had left a smile on your face as you forgave him for being off recently.

•No more mention of the woman he was talking to maybe it was a member of faculty, it wasn’t as if you knew every person who worked here at college, but there was sudden doubt in your mind which briefly scared you.

•”Let’s stay here forever-“

“Without food?” You joke which makes Mickey shake his head back.

“You’ve got a point, let’s shake it real quick to the cafeteria then we can come back here.” Mickey states with a smug smile.

“More sex?” You enquire with a laugh.

“Always.” Mickey deadpans with a wink.

7. Where is my mind - Pixies

•Sitting next to Randy on a bench with the weak autumn sun on your face, you notice the apprehensive look on Mickey’s favourite friend, because him saying that he needed to talk to you wasn’t strange enough.

•”Are you serious?” You ask Randy with a confused look on your face.

“Deadly.” Retorts Randy who then adds “I think you should break things off with him he’s too weird for you.”

“And you know what I need or want-“

“I want you to be safe, I don’t trust Mickey and all his obsessing over James Cameron.” Randy cuts you off with a shudder as he adds “There is sneaky, and then there is whatever Mickey is up to please just watch yourself ok?”

“I don’t need to.” You tell Randy firmly despite the shakiness in your voice.

•”Sounds to me like you’re having second thoughts.” Randy states which makes you look up from your hands which were both balled into fists.

“Is someone jealous?” You begin but then snort with a nasty laugh as you add “Of course no one could compete with Sidney so I doubt that’s happening right now.”

“Bitchy much?” Retorts Randy leaving you alone on the bench with a smile on your face that soon fades when you actually do start to feel like a huge bitch.

8. Criminal- Fiona Apple

•Yet despite what Randy or anyone else thinks you stick around with Mickey, becoming obsessed with him, even though he leaves you feeling cold you cannot get enough of the class joker who isn’t giving everyone the whole picture.

•Watching Mickey force a large knife into someone’s chest has your eyes widening, it all makes sense now, the way he acted and who he truly was were two different animals entirely.

•Instead of wanting to scream out loud and call the cops you feel a sense of calm, one you knew that should be far from your thoughts, but your boyfriend covered in someone else’s blood was pretty exciting to say the least…until he accidentally spots you gawping at him.

9. Getchoo - Weezer

•With the college wanting to go into some kind of lockdown after the latest killing, you try and keep to yourself seeing how Mickey was hiding, unless he was trying to scare you the thought makes you laugh.

•”So what do you think?” Mickey asks finally cornering you in the cafeteria, students acting like nothing had happened, life moves on.

“I think I want to know more about your little venture-“

“I can’t do that otherwise I would have to kill you.” Mickey demands with a playful lilt in his voice but the look on his face could tell another story entirely.

•This is your current dynamic until Mickey once again starts acting bored around you, despite the fact that you know about his extra curricular activities, the ones that could land him in jail for a long time but what would it take for you to tell all to the wrong person.

10. Infected - bad religion

•Mickey is fed up with all of your incessant questions this was not part of the plan, you shouldn’t even be here he was supposed to dump you weeks ago, the news makes you take a step back but you regret it cause this makes him even angrier.

“I’m going to be famous, I don’t need you all I want is for you to disappear.” Mickey sneers holding up a knife pulls from the sleeve of his checked shirt, which makes you wonder if this is it were you his next victim.

“I thought we could be a team-“

“I work better alone.” Mickey yawns as if this whole conversation was boring him half to death.

•”Asshole!” You walk off out of the room hearing Mickey follow you closely, spinning round you go to shove him but he pushes you away.

Standing right at the top of a set of stairs you lose balance, at the same time you spot Mickey wave at you as you start to fall backwards, hands flailing to try and hold something but then everything suddenly goes black.

•Mickey rushes off hiding the knife from view as he notices others gathering around your body, feeling nothing as he left you there because like he had said you weren’t a part of the plan, no hard feelings of course but he might have to speak to you again incase you went to the cops.

Late for class he skips this one with other things on his mind instead, looking to the next part of what needed to be done, the role that he played in becoming infamous which was only a couple of killings away and would be spectacular.

PJ Harvey - Rid of me (bonus track)

•Waking up in a hospital bed wasn’t how you had wanted to spend your Thursdays, learning that you’ve been unconscious for several days, a nasty fall down a long staircase would do that to you but you remembered exactly why this had happened in the first place.

•Back at college you get sympathy from friends, some asking about Mickey but you keep acting like your together with him still, let others believe you were a couple then you would soon pay him a visit and have a little chat.

•Having felt so enamoured by Mickey you were now just left feeling numb, and in want of causing him pain just like he had done you, treating you like something at the bottom of his shoe whilst you had felt love at one point…but now you knew better didn’t you?

[tryslora]

What I'm Reading Wednesday...

On the Duck Prints Press reading server, it’s What I’m Reading Wednesday where we all share what we finished in the last week, what we are currently reading, and what we think of these books.

I figured hey, why not bring that to the rest of the world for myself. Because I love yelling about my current reads. And I’ve always got several things in motion at one time, between physical, audio, and ebooks, plus things I’m reading for specific reasons.

Here’s the summary from the last week in visual format (the actual discussion is behind the read-more):

Fiction

I am currently reading Many Drops Make a Stream by Adrian Harley (from Duck Prints Press). There are so many things to love in this book. The world building packs so much into such a small space. The culture clash between human and shapeshifter is wonderful (and Harley’s shapeshifters truly have a culture all their own). I thought it was going to be a quick read because it’s short, but the language and depth of information have me going slower and savoring every word. That said, I’ve also reached the point where I want to take it in faster, so I find myself spending a little extra time every time I pick it up, just to get a few more pages!

Manga & Graphic Novels

I have one manga and one graphic novel in progress.

I’ve been reading The Complete Elfquest, volume 1 by Wendy & Richard Pini for a little over two weeks now. We have several of these volumes, and my intention is to read one chapter/issue a night, so I am able to savor them slowly, but also get through them. Reading this first volume is like coming home into a fandom from childhood. The first chunk of it was also collected in the original Warp Graphics compilations, and I can’t remember how often I read those back in high school. I’m reaching the parts now where I probably only read the individual issues once or twice, so it’s familiar, but not to the point where I’m like oh yes, I remember gazing at that panel for hours. I still love these elves, and this story, and I cannot wait to get home each day and be allowed to read a chapter. I’m looking forward to when I reach new-to-me material.

I watched the 24 episode anime The Apothecary Diaries and I wasn’t ready to let it go when it was over, so I started reading the manga by Natsu Hyuuga and Nekokurage. I finished volumes 5 & 6 this past week and am currently reading volume 7. I have the remaining already published volumes waiting for when I’m done with this. I adore Maomao and Jinshi, and am incredibly excited to get to the point where canon moves past what is in the anime. That said, getting to revisit events I already watched on TV and linger over what was said and the exact expressions has been soooo good. (And yes, I know the light novels also exist and will be rolling into those in ebook form after the manga; I might be a tad bit obsessed).

Audiobook

A while ago I thought “I should read some TJ Klune” so I checked the library list I had for audiobooks, and the first of his Extraordinaries trilogy was available in audio. I listened to it. I was addicted. I’m now on the third book—Heat Wave—and I find it very very hard to put it down. I can’t listen while working, only while commuting, walking, or doing chores—things that don’t require me to actually think so I can multi-task. But hey, it’s a GREAT way to get me to do my PT since it means fifteen minutes more of audiobook listening! Nick, the POV character, has ADHD and I flail a lot over pretty much everything he thinks and does. I love every character in this series. I love how Klune is using superheroes as an allegory for the queer experience and for racial issues, but at the same time, is actually addressing those issues explicitly. I both want to listen faster to find out what happens, and linger so it doesn’t end.

Ebook

I have been reading Wayfinder by CE Murphy, which is the second in a duology. This is a romance, yes, but it’s another fun culture clash book, this time between humanity and faerie, and I am so here for that. Murphy is an author I used to read a lot from, and I’m trying to work my way through her back catalog slowly because I’ve always enjoyed her style. Accessible and fun. This series is about a woman who has always been able to hear lies (a Truthseeker), and how her talent develops, and how she works with the faerie kingdoms to try to help them (despite some of them not wanting help, and the original situation not being the one she’s actually needed for).

Non-fiction

I have been working my way through three non-fiction books.

One is A Year of Zen by Bonnie Myotai Treace. I had been looking for a journaling prompt book, and decided to give this one a try. I made the difficult decision to write directly in the book itself, then the additional decision to let myself fail if needed. So if I don’t get to answer a prompt on a day, I just answer it the next day. One prompt per day. It’ll take me more than a year to go through it, but that’s okay. The idea is to have me think and write a short paragraph every day, and not feel guilty about messing up. It’s working surprisingly well. Learning to let myself fail has been a big part of my process this year, and hopefully I am learning to let go of some of the anxiety about things needing to be matched and rigid.

The one I am stalled on right now is The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. It was recommended as a book that therapists like to use for themselves, not merely recommend to their patients, and it reminded me of the radical acceptance I’m supposed to be practicing (and apparently am, despite myself, according to my therapist after she listened to me). The problem is, it has exercises (doesn’t everything?) and I stalled out because I didn’t have time.

Time is a theme, y’know? And that’s what happened with the last non-fiction book. I’ve been working through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, taking it as a self-guided 12 week course. I’m currently on week 5. However, I did a week of just doing morning notes before I really got started, then I took a week off when everything went haywire in my schedule because of the power outage. So it’s been about seven weeks so far. This week, as I worked on exercises, I found myself really digging in to my emotions about this book. And in the end, I decided that while I can see the value in some things, the book itself is giving me more anxiety about everything to do with my writing, while at the same time making it impossible for me to find time TO write (while following the advice it gives). So. I am no longer doing it as a course, with exercises, but I will finish reading it. And if an exercise appeals, I’ll do it. It’ll still take time, because I’ll probably still read one chapter each weekend, but I am already feeling WAY less stressed and I only made this decision last night.

So…

That’s it for me! What are you reading?

[not-poignant]

im currently obsessed with stain and i'm curious about how much sebastian actually knows about alexs past/childhood?

anyways this fic is incredible, alex/sebastian has always been one of my favorite pairings and u write them so beautifully <3

Hi hi hi,

Hmmm, I would say Sebastian doesn't actually know that much, while kind of knowing the overall themes/broad view.

Sebastian has like...a child's perspective on what Alex lived through. Because he learned about it as a child, and it stayed static in his mind. It's only now that he's really seeing what that means as an adult (Alex's reactions to anger, violence and yelling, for example).

But...when you're a kid in a secret-keeping small town - at least sometimes - you don't learn things in an 'adult way.' You learn them as a child. You might see another kid's parent with bruises and be like 'Mom, did she fall down' and the Mom might go 'I think she has a hard time at home honey. But shh, it's rude to talk about this stuff.' You might see Alex's Dad and think he looks mean. Sometimes your Mom might even shepherd you away, and say things like 'He's a very grumpy man' without saying what that manes. You might know another parent going through cancer treatment, and your own parent might say 'Alex's Mom is really sick, and she might die soon, and that's sad.'

Sebastian has no reason to...challenge that as a child, your world is how your parents describe it to you. And as he got older, I doubt he revisited much of that, especially as a teenager who perceived himself as the victim of Alex's bullying. He probably just thought 'like father, like son' without ever thinking about what that really means.

As an adult, Sebastian's had time to start knocking against some of these structures. Like he went from believing Alex was selfish and ungenerous to realising that Alex had done so much for his grandparents without telling a single soul about it, thanks to Harvey. He's realised that Alex has real issues with other people's anger, and that he believes himself to be stupid, and that he has no value. Through perceiving these things, he can start to make links back to these thin stories he was told and believed as a child, and those stories begin to grow and carry weight.

Because there's such a big difference between 'Alex's Mom might die' and the reality that Alex is really good at cleaning because that was just...how he dealt with the tragedies life gave him. There's a really big difference between 'she has a hard time at home honey' and Alex being afraid of men with authority, and having an involuntary PTSD/fear response around loud anger.

One of the reasons Sebastian is so slow to learn this stuff is partly because he did know Alex as a child and picked up all the weird, evasive ways parents share things with children in secretive towns, which minimise, hide, and obfuscate the truth. So he doesn't have the benefit of learning 'fresh' - in a way he has to knock down everything his parents taught him, and put up new structures that show reality as it is, and y'know, Sebastian's still pretty young, and he doesn't know a ton about PTSD, he's never had to deal with a violent parent, he's never watched someone get sick and die. He is actually pretty naive to a lot of Alex's experiences.

Sebastian's empathy and ability to be compassionate towards Alex grows all the time, but it's like...chip damage rather than some momentous 'oh my god' moment. Because he's got years of layered semi-misinformation from his own parent/s, and other schoolkids his age, to wade through first. So instead we get lots of little moments of Sebastian recalibrating, and becoming more open to reality.

In some ways this is a story that also interrogates the role that small towns or secret-keeping mindsets in towns can really contribute to the isolation, damage, and continuing abuse of individuals within that town. The reality is abusers are everywhere, but abusers can't abuse if everyone feels safe and able to talk about it with people they trust.

The fact that Alex's Mom - and Alex - could never do that, is a failure of the entire town, and not just Alex's Dad. Sometimes in realising that Alex was going through something horrendous, you have to realise your Mom and Dad did absolutely fuck all about it, while knowing it was happening and that's... that's why Sebastian both hasn't known much, and is slowly picking up more and more with time!

[bad-heads]

Saltburn

It took a moment for this movie to settle in on me, and I’ve really been fighting to reconcile what I wanted this film to be with the story that I was given.

If this were about a man driven by love, I am the first one boarding that train. Have you been in love? I say “in love” in the same way that you are “in” a swamp being pulled deeper into sliming, hungry mud. If you are in love like that, is gross, desperate, terrifying, and you will think and say and do things that repulse you at times. I know this, I keep journals and it is physically painful to see the words describing how I felt about this person. I had burned three journals to exorcise these feelings, and I am mostly just glad that I don’t need to revisit the worst of it. So, I am on board for the drinking of the bathwater and the writhing on the grave. I have been there, and to me that is very viscerally real. I can even see needing to be near someone so badly that if they won’t have you, you will get as close as you can if it means sleeping with their sister, their closest friend, a discarded former hook-up, or worming your way into the home that they grew up in. Finally, even if you would never, ever admit it in the most private crevices of your own skull, the absolute climax of if I can’t have you, no one can have you.

If that were the story, it would be powerful. But I don’t think that was the story.

Instead of a powerful story about the obsessive drive of a desperate love, it is a story about… class commentary? In the end, I get the feeling that it was about the impossibility of clawing your way out of the middle class, which turns it from today’s The Talented Mr. Ripley into a ramshackle rehashing of Parasite with a less sympathetic lead character.

Really, I think it takes a specific writer to be a good director, and if you aren’t a good writer this will obviously hinder your movie. My opinion is that this movie could have been great if someone else wrote the story, especially with Emerald Fennel being enormously wealthy herself, the class commentary is muddled. In the end, it seems that Oliver was motivated by envy and not lust and it is hard for me to get behind that, although it is there if you squint your eyes. I also haattteedddd that they had to over-explain the twist! The flashbacks can be left out completely, because it is so much more powerful to tell and not show so that the audience can put these pieces together ourselves.

Now, that all being said there are so many things that I did love about this movie. There was a lot of symbolism and deliberate choices, like the minatore and the maze and all that. The tracking shots were mesmerizing! I thankfully did not watch this with my mom when it was suggested for family movie night, but I woke up my dog so that she could watch the final scene because it was just straight dope to me. Also, as soon as the movie started I was gasping for air because the 4:3 aspect ratio is my absolute jam. Death to widescreen, widescreen is for the dogs.

Now, I will watch it again but I am going to choose to rewrite this mentally as the most unhinged love story and forget the class stuff because out of the things that this movie was trying to say, only one rings true for me.

[huffledor-able541]

Thanks @wheels-of-despair for tagging me! I love seeing these type of things, especially when they give me an identity crisis😂

♡

✰ NINE PEOPLE I WANT TO GET TO KNOW BETTER ✰

Last Song: Drops of Jupiter by Train was the last song while the one playing right now is You're Still the One by Shania Twain. The one after is Angel of the Morning by Juice Newton (this one is a cover, the original singer is Evie Sands) I had to mention all three because...yeah, it takes me a while to gather my thoughts so my last song will end up being the third one I put by the time I post😅

Favorite Color: pinkalicious

Last Movie: Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (Episode VI) it was a rewatch indulgence two weekends ago (not this weekend) for me and I haven't watched any movies since then...

Currently Reading: Cress by Marissa Meyer (I read The Lunar Chronicles about 10 years ago and I figured it's time to revisit my favorite characters a whole decade later) PLUS a whole lotta Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington fanfics and Daryl Dixon fanfics (even though I took like a week break from them, will start reading again and catching up)

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweet and savory, NOT spicy AT ALL. I mean I can eat spicy stuff, but no thank you, I don't want to choose torture.

Relationship: I've been single my whole life. My delulu mind lives by the words of James Bay, "I'm not waiting, but I'm willing if you call me up. If you ever want to be in love, I'll come around." I still have false hope that I will reconnect with that one guy (aka my could've been/what if...) from so many years ago😂 Not me having a Snape ALWAYS moment. I'm a hopeless romantic so really I'm just holding on to the idea of him. He wasn't even that great🤣 (not me ranting, sorry not sorry) Best relationship one could have is through y/n fanfics, honestly 😭

Current Obsession: Collecting all types of stickers and placing them in my sticker book. There's no shame in an adult collecting stickers. 😤

Last Thing I Googled: the notebook ending (I'm pretty sure I watched it once years ago and I've read how it ends many times but no matter what, I always forget how it ends whenever I see a meme or post about the movie. SO I searched it up to remind myself how it ended. Also, I'm not much for romance movies which is why I've probably only watched it once in my life.😅)

Currently Working On: Myself really and job applications. I had to take a break after graduating to get my mental and physical health in line and well. Now I'm applying for jobs which is also why I took like a week off of reading fanfic🙈

♡

I like explaining my answers...if you couldn't tell.

I tried stalking mutuals and some accounts I follow to prevent it, but if you've already been tagged by someone else...oopsies. Please feel free to ignore this, no pressure✌️:

@curiositydooropened @galaxy-siren @sattlersquarry @silent-stories @worth-the-chaos @munsons-maiden @jadeylovesmarvelxo

@daryl-dixon-daydreams @multi-fandomfuckboy

[donteattheappleshook]

Happy Birthday @The-DarkDragonfly!!

Happiest of birthdays @the-darkdragonfly ​ to one of my best friends! I’m so glad that the fandom brought us together and while your birthday fic isn’t finished, I thought it would share some of my favorite fics of YOURS! 

You are such a talented writer and such a wonderful person and if anyone hasn’t read these fics they are incorrect and need to fix it immediately)

This was very hard to narrow down because everything your write is perfect but I gave it my best shot! 

The Ripple Effect

Of course I had to start with the fic that brought us together. This story, omg this story. Every time I read it I’m filled with an irrational anger at how unbelievably beautiful your prose is and what an ubelievable talent you have for creating atmosphere and building relationships between characters. The way you write this fic is magical, there’s no other word for it. It weaves through time and perspectives, dialogue and imagery and emotion and my heart just shatters every time I read about these two adorable broken idiots fixing each other and falling in love. And omg your little snippets of everyday life are so imaginative and hilarious and are so perfectly in character and somehow both incredibly specific and relatable. I could read a hundred million fics of just filler scenes (which I know you also have -Missing Moments)I will forever think of this fic when I watch the CS movie and wish that we’d gotten this instead. 

Tempest

I hadn’t started this one when you were writing the first version but when you started on the rewrite omg I have jumped onboard and along for the ride the entire way with this adorable wonderful fic. I will say it now, I don’t usually like Captain Duckling but this story is so wonderfully written that you’ve managed to make me obsessed with your version of them. The dynamic between them is just beautiful and so honest and pure and they’re both just so. stupid. and I love them and will protect them with my whole heart. I adore the way that you don’t always give us all the moments of their relationship at once and just let us see it develop and then jump back and forth through time to give us scenes we’re already invested in and dying for. I love this fic and I’m fully aware that you’re gonna hurt me with it but I’m 100% here for it. And also - WILLIAM!!! My beautiful, sad, sassy, loveable William. I will never get enough of him and how you write him in this fic. He is the ultimate bestie and comic relief watching his mom and dad try to get their shit together and fall in love and I would die for him. 

The Wreck of our Hearts

My birthday fic!!! This one is gonna be short because I get emotional just thinking about this story. You took my favorite Hook, Deckhand Hook, and mixed him with my other favorite, Silver Hook, and you’ve created a monster that no other Killian will ever live up to. Just an ultra sad broken man who still loves Emma so damn much and can I keep typing through my tears? I don’t know but I do know I’m gonna go reread through them. 

People, please, if you haven’t, go read it. If you have, go read it again. 

PS: If you ever wanted to revisit this universe or this character I’m not saying I’d be mad... 

Old Times' Sake - A Captain Swan Tale 

I don’t care if it’s July. This Christmas fic can be read any damn time of the year and it will destroy me and put me back together again every time. You’ve done it again! Taken my sad broken little babies and put them together and made them whole. This story is SO short (seriously I had to go back and check the word count because I couldn’t believe it) but it somehow has such a rich backstory woven in for both Emma and Killian, both their families and their relationship and oh man you know I’m a sucker for “what do you mean, feelings? this is just boning (LIES)” and you did it so perfectly here. This wasn’t my Christmas present but I’ve decided to claim it as such because it’s my favorite Christmas fic of all time (again, a genre I don’t like that you’ve somehow managed to make me adore - very rude. stop doing that. but also don’t. ever.) 

Sill Love Songs

You KNOW I had to end with this one right? My very own birthday fic and omg I will forever be grateful to have you in my life for writing me this fic (and many other reasons but the point stands). This story is Hilarious. Like I was giggling and laughing out loud throughout because, you guessed it, William Fucking Scarlet. All I asked for was CS's love story told in the POV of his inappropriate wedding toast and GIRL. You delivered. He’s so absolutely perfect in this story. His interactions with Killian make me die (when he propositions him in the kitchen I thought I would straight up perish) and his interactions with Emma are equally hilarious but also so so soft and beautiful underneath it all. I did not expect to be hit in the chest with a mactruck of emotion in what I expected to be an aptly named silly little fic but of course I should have because everything you write carries so many layers of human emotion and you’re characters are so REAL and beautiful and flawed in such a true to life way. I don’t know where or how you developped such an amazing talent or if you were just born with it but I will selfishly devour and demand more of everything that you write with it.

I’m also just saying that the sequel doesn’t HAVE to be a birthday fic... I have a 2/3rds birthday coming up in August..... 

Happy birthday bestie!

Thank you so much for everything that you write and for being such an amazing person in my life. I hope you have a wonderful birthday long weekend and a fantastic year! 

And please add your tag list so they can all get a reminder of these amazing fics!

[ferperss]

Loved reading your lore so thank you for the tag!! @sportsthoughts

I spent waaaay too much time writing this but once I started I felt like I couldn’t stop lmao, so I’m applauding anyone that gets through it!

The story of how I ended up where I am today is a long and winding road lmao. But I think I should start by prefacing with the fact that hockey has been a part of my life since I was born essentially. There are pictures of me on a pair of skates at around age 2 when my dad first tried to teach me! Then I played consistently from age 6 to 14 but quit when they wanted me to leave the “girls” team and play with the women because I was intimidated haha. Besides playing myself I’ve also spent many hours with my dad on the couch watching Sweden play in any and all kinds of tournaments, worlds, Olympics you name it, and since he never really rooted for any other team in Sweden or outside of it I just kind of slowly fell into that same thing. I knew there was a hockey league overseas that a lot of our own players were shipped off to but I never really had any interest in rooting for a team that wasn’t team Sweden at the time.

In the winter of 2014, I was at the ripe age of 15 and I did not play hockey anymore nor did I care about any teams really, but two of my best friends at the time became OBSESSED with this one junior player and kept talking about him. This man was none other than Thee Mr Willy Nylander himself. This led to the three of us obsessing over him and we watched him play in the world juniors over our winter break. It got to the point of us picking fights with people on twitter that said he was a bad player and really anyone that said anything negative about our Swedish players hahaha. We had a group chat named after him and everything. We eventually lost interest and forgot about him but this story is important because it comes back later.

Flash forward to May 2023! Before I entered my hockey era again I had an eight month long absolutely crushing obsession with the TV show 9-1-1 that was airing on Fox at the time (ABC now thank god, I still keep track) that came to a screeching halt when the season 6 finale aired and I hated it. I swore up and down that I was never ever going to watch that show again and now that the one thing I had been so fixated on for so long was gone I did not know what to do with myself. Which sounds so dramatic but honestly sometimes I don’t know who I am if I have nothing to obsess over. So naturally I needed entertainment and as I looked up through the haze of firefighters and network drama I found that the 2023 IIHF World Championship in Tampere and Riga was on! And I had no choice! There was hockey to be watched and I sure did watch it. Now, it did not go too well for the Swedish team last year, which is okay. But one thing that happened was the constant debate on wether Willy Nylander was going to join in. His brother was there and his teammate Timothy Liljegren also joined in. But there was no word on Willy himself. And it was all they talked about. He obviously did not end up joining but all the talk had made me nostalgic. And naturally I had to revisit the old object of obsession and see how he was doing over the Atlantic and turns out he was doing quite well indeed. And because I am a sucker for team dynamics and narratives (who could ever believe I studied film for five years) I desperately clung onto the Toronto Maple Leafs like my life depended on it. What I didn’t know was that these were also transformative times, and once I’d gotten into the team and the organization, I was bewildered when Kyle Dubas all of a sudden was going to another team??? How could that be?? The Penguins?? And that’s when I found my way to the Pittsburgh Penguins, the power of Dubas’ cardigans and Sidney Crosby’s fat ass gripped me and now I split my time between my equally cursed teams like they’re my divorced parents. And here we are.

Naturally there are a lot of nuances left out of here, I’ve covered the key points but I think that there are probably so many reasons that it was the perfect time for me to get into hockey again and here we are almost a year later and there’s no going back now!! I’m stuck here forever. And I would not have it any other way <3

This is the end of ramblings and I’ll say if there’s anything I love more than hockey, it’s being dramatic, and also I didn’t spell check this at all so if it’s not perfect I’m sorry (I’d love to blame it on English not being my first language but it’s the only subject I’ve always had straight A’s in so it’s not really applicable it’s just me being lazy)

[graygiantess]

Thank you for In Hell Together After All, it absolutely crushed me (in a good, painful way). ❤️ It made me wonder what is your history with IWTV/The Vampire Chronicles: how did you become a fan, what caught your attention and what made you want to "stay"?

And also, you probably write a lot of your headcanons into your stories, but do you have any specific headcanons of any of the characters/relationships in the series?

Hey Nonny!

Sorry for the late reply. Covid broke my brain and I can only focus on reading/writing for very short stretches of time.

(I love getting these asks, though, so please no one feel deterred by this, lol!)

I'm so glad you enjoyed In Hell Together After All! And thank you for your ask. 😊

Putting my answer under the break again so as not to clog up people's dash with my novel-length ramblings.

Luce and TVC

I first got into TVC when I was 14, which is almost 21 years ago. My 13yo foster sister and I were completely obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

I was aware that there was a vampire movie with Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt and wanted to see it. I have a much older half-sister and the three of us ended up having a movie night at her house. We watched Interview With the Vampire and The Blair Witch Project.

We were all very 👁👁 throughout the entire movie. Then I bought a boxset of the first four books, foster sister and inhaled the first three books, watched the QotD movie and got very pissed off by how terrible it was. 😂

We were like, "Guess we'll always have the books 🤷‍♀️". I ordered TVA, because QotD had left me completely Armand-obsessed, and started reading Tale of the Body Thief.

I don't remember quite what it was, but Lestat says something at the start of TotBT that my 14yo self just thought was so stupidly retconny that I went, "Yeah, fuck that". I think it was something about how he only ate bad guys and that that was somehow in service of Jesus? Whatever it was, I wasn’t having it, so I put it down and never picked it back up. 😂

Then in my late teens/early twenties I followed Anne Rice on Facebook for a while, but I got kinda creeped out when she started addressing everyone with 'dearest People of the Page'. I distinctly remember thinking, "Lady, I'm here for gay vampire reasons, not to be in a cult". 😅 So I unfollowed her and spent about a decade not thinking about TVC very much at all.

AND THEN in early summer of 2022 the YouTube algorithm informed me that AMC was making an IWTV show. I reread IWTV and in October thought, "Let’s give this a go."

I had my reservations because I still remembered my teenage rage at the QotD movie, and I wasn't sure how I felt about them changing the time period and casting 'some old guy' as Daniel (sorry Eric! 🙈).

BUT THEN Jacob came on all, "Dear Mr. Molloy, did you know you can orgasm just from hearing a man's voice? Wanna finish what we started half a century ago?" and my head just about exploded!

This is the second interview?! They’re revisiting it 49 years later?! OMGGG, that's the most genius storytelling move in the history of storytelling! 😱

I watched ep2 right after and then desperately needed to yell about the show with other sickos. So I joined Twitter and started reading fic again (which I'd only really done when I was 17 and obsessed with that wizard school franchise), started writing fic, joined fic-themed group chats/Discords and made a Tumblr so I could (lovingly) yell at other fic writers.

And now I've published over 150k words in fic and there's IWTV fan art all over my house. 😂

So it was really the show that made me come back to stay. It's just thee best TV show of all time to me.

And as much as this fandom can be a shit show, it's really helped me stay sane while grappling with my long covid, which has left me very incapacitated in many other areas of my life.

Luce's headcanons

Asking me for my headcanons has the same effect as asking me for my favorite movies or songs in that it immediately makes me forget any headcanons I ever had. 😂

You're right that I write a lot of them into my fics, which are mainly me exploring my headcanons and asking myself what if...? I have a couple others, though I'm not sure these are really headcanons or more actual theories, though, so I apologize if this wasn't what you were looking for.

- I've mentioned this one before, but Louis and Lestat had a grand old time during their honeymoon phase between Louis getting turned and Louis almost eating Grace's baby. I think people tend to make too big a deal out of Louis being an unreliable narrator but it's a little too convenient how quickly he skips over those 6-7 years. I think he doesn’t like to think about how much fun he had with Lestat just having all the sex, getting super rich and eating whoever the fuck he wanted.

- Daniel isn’t going to give a single fuck about the ethics of killing people in order to survive once he finally becomes a vampire. We already know he’s selfish and a hypocrite. I can just see him fully ready to view all humans as savory inferiors once he’s no longer one of them.

- If show!Daniel ever met Marius, he would punch him in the face. 🤭

- Santiago is going to be SO jealous of Louis's relationship with Armand. I don't care if Santiago and Armand end up having zero homoerotic tension between them on screen, they're fucking to me.

- I'm also a Claudeline truther. Show!Claudia doesn’t need a parental figure the way book!Claudia does but she very much yearns for romantic love, and she did say Charlie was the last boy she'd ever love, and went after the woman when Lestat asked her if she wanted the Mr. or the Mrs. in ep7.

Kudos to anyone who made it all the way to the end of this answer! Your prize is getting to choose if I share:

A) A silly anecdote about that movie night I had with my sisters.

B) A shocking fact that might get me cancelled as an Armandaniel fic writer. 👀

(Though tbh, if you pick B, I'll probably still give you A for free.)

[wraenata]

Here's a question. How much of pokemon have you played? (Mainline series, side series, etc) :3

Pokemon long rambling activated :3

Seriously long post

So before my mom banned pokemon from our house (probably when I was around 7?) we loved Pokémon. We never had a video game console but my cousins did. So technically pokemon stadium is my first pokemon game! Only ever the rentals haha. But we loved playing the mini games.

When my mom banned pokemon and sold all our plushies (rip butterfree plush, I'll get you back some day) it was a pokemon drought. Until my cousin went to college and gave me her pokemon card collection. (Supposedly the halo mew is worth $100?! But I treasure them) and the brainrot infected me once again.

I started learning everything I could about game mechanics. This was when Gen 5 came out in Japan so you didn't even have the English translations yet! I made lists of what my teams would be in each game, how to divy up the HMs, how to get certain egg moves. All without playing a single game lol.

And then I found playr.org. It had all the retro game boy games. Including Pokémon Red, Blue, Yellow, Gold, Silver, and Crystal. Unfortunately the saving system wasn't so great and got corrupted a few times (rip shiny ekans) but I did mostly play Silver or Crystal. (This is where the name Wren for my character was born!)

I craved more but I didn't know how to download emulators safely :( I watched playthroughs to get by. To this day let's plays are a comfort source for me <3

By the way I did all of this without my parents ever knowing. I was very good at hiding it from them XD

I think it was finally like freshman year of college when I figured out the pokemon fan games. I'm talking Uranium, Phoenix Rising demo, Ethereal Gates demo, Solar Light Lunar Dark, Sage, aka non emulator ones. Basically any I could get my hands on. I also started drawing fakemon in my sketchbook. I kind of want to revisit those some day. I still have the sketchbook somewhere.

Then I figured out emulators FINALLY. At least enough and got an emulator and mystery dungeon explorers of sky, MY BELOVED! I have played through the rom many times. I have a randomizer. Also a few years ago I found Sky Temple for editing the rom aka different starter pokemon. The discord server is always working on making new sprites so you can be any pokemon you want its very wonderful.

Junior year of college, I said I'd had enough. I spent an entire year hyping over Sun and Moon and my bestie/roomie convinced me to treat myself, something I literally never did. I bought a 3DS and Pokemon Sun and never looked back. I loved it. My first real pokemon game. (My parents were not happy when they found out lol). I spent so many hours. I got big into breeding perfect IV pokemon (idk why cause I never did online battles) or shiny breeding. I used to work til 11 pm some nights and before bed I'd just do some breeding. I would have the pokemon in the perfect ball and have all the egg moves and perfect IVs and nature and have the perfect nick name cause I was obsessive like that oof. I got ultra moon when it came out as well and loved it. I also bought pokemon X and Omega Ruby which I enjoyed. But Sun and Ultra Moon I played many times and bred so many perfect pokemon.

I did pick up roms around this time for Heart Gold, Soul Silver, Black and White and the sequels, and maybe Platinum? But they ran really slow on my computer so I never made it far. I preferred playing on my 3ds. But I still played quite a bit of Sky rom.

I was, less excited about Sword and Shield. I saved up a whole year to buy my switch and bought Lets go Eevee, Botw, and Sword when Gen 8 came out. I did inhale the entire game of Sword in one week, but I don't think I ever finished a second playthrough. The story was really disappointing and I did not like the gen 8 pokemon as much. It's hard when you're not a big fan of any of the starter evolutions, cause pressing B for every level up is tedious :(

I did enjoy Lets Go Eevee but after I loaned it to my bestie I had troubled getting back in. The ball throwing was a little off putting.

Oh I also bought Mystery dungeon Rescue Dx and I enjoyed that quite a bit!

Last summer I was struggling a lot with my emotions and frustration with my mom and as a form of therapy started spending money oof. I wanted a second DS so I could trade back and forth and make my life easier. It took a lot of bidding on Goodwill online but I snagged a second 2ds, legit copy of pmd sky! and pmd gates to infinity. And Pokemon Soul Silver! Also I bought the digital versions of gen 1 and 2 before the eshop closed.

I also bought Shining Pearl cause it went super on sale, but after I lent it to my bestie I haven't played since. I actually dont like too many gen 4 pokemon besides Glaceon, Leafeon, and Chatot.

Playing pokemon mystery dungeon on a 3ds instead of a computer keyboard was so much more satisfying. I played through Sky and loved it of course. Then I picked up Gates to Infinity which I never knew the story. I enjoyed it! I was and Oshawott with partner Snivy.

This brings me to last late summer, and the turtle brainrot set in and grew. Less pokemon, more turtles! I debated back and forth whether to get Scarlet or Violet up til the day it released. And then I just didn't. I watched playthroughs though. Seems pretty good and I like a lot of the pokemon, especially after gen 8 when I struggled to find enough to fill out a team of 6. I only like to use pokemon I like. I'm sure I'll get it someday but for now, turtles have my brain.

And that's my pokemon origin story! Still mad about my mom selling all our pokemon plushies. I do still have my cousins pokemon cards and I treasure them <3

I am very adamant about my pokemon having the perfect nick names.

Umbreon is my favorite pokemon <3

Not surprisingly this got very very long. If you made it this far, have a Leppa Berry <3

[tuffdwightwest]

This year really is throwback year for me. Been watching a lot of my old shows and revisiting old fandoms. It's cool to know that some are still active, Storm Hawks woo, sad to see others are dead ;~; but I've honestly been really enjoying myself.

Of the ones I rewatched I'm gonna make a top ten tier list of the ones that held up how I remember and ones that didnt.

10. Golden Compass

Specifically the movie that I was obsessed with as a child. Honestly it still held up and I feel like I actually understood way more then when I did as a child. I just put it as number 10 cause although I did enjoy the experience it didn't really spark anything new. Good movie though! I bought the new series to compare.

The greatest draw for the Golden Compass was always the world building to me. I remember as a child imagining myself with my own Daemon. We need more Golden Compass AUs.

9. Pokemon XD: Gale of Darkness

Ironically I revisited this game before Jaiden haha. I secured a Gamecube controller around January and brought ye old gamecube out of storage for a binge. Honestly a played a bunch of games besides this one, X-Men Legends, Finding Nemo, etc. But this one stood out the most.

It was honestly a lot of fun. I love the world of Orre and although I think Paldea is now my favorite Orre remains the second and is strongly there. This region was so fascinating and there has yet to be a team to top Cipher in my eyes. These guys were generally threatening to me. The characters were eh though and it was really the world building and story that kept me going.

I know it's never going to happen but gah I wish we could get a remaster or even better a new game in this region.

8. Kim Possible

This was the summer binge and I watched all movies and series. Yes even the live action recent one. All in all it was pretty enjoyable. Kim is badass, Ron is adorable and Shego is 😮. It was amusing to remember what I could and couldn't remember. Although I put it lower then the others for one reason.

As a child I absolutely loved the Kim/Ron pairing but rewatching it now... I actually didn't care for it as much. Kim was always pushing Ron aside, wouldn't hang out with him in school cause of her reputation. It honestly painted her in a light that hurt. Still an amazing story with great characters. My favorite episode definitely being the one where Drakken raps. Just wish

7. Wizards of Waverly Place

I was obsessed with this show as a child. Although ironically I remember not liking Alex at all. Also ironically I still hold that sentiment. Just not as strongly. Alex was great and the series(and movie) were fun. Again the draw was the world but I'm still mad that only one person could technically be a wizard. Such a lame world but that's the world they live in.

Good magical shenanigans and honestly not too goofy with the visual effects. I remembered more of a story so was surprised when this really didn't seem to have one till later. Regardless still enjoyed myself. Also side note but her parents are goals. Think as an adult they are my favorite characters.

6. X-Men(90s Cartoon)

Does a mall rat eat chili fries. Although this one got number 6 I will say this show is so dated. You can definitely tell it was the 90s but I actually kind of like it for that reason. Its over the top but surprisingly mature. With the first episode starting with Morph dying then the team mourning afterwards.

I was honestly surprised by what they did show in it. I know it was based on the comics(which I also own and am a huge fan of). But for a kids adaptation of it they didn't change much. Honestly I wish I would place this one higher just simply due to the themes and the impact of the stories. Only reason I'm not is cause obviously the show is borrowing from the cartoons.

But yeah, if you were thinking of watching it. I highly recommend it. It is very 90s but still very mature and probally the best experience I had rewatching as an adult. Show had me crying on more then one occasion. Let yourself get immersed in the world and I'm sure you will enjoy yourself as well.

5. Bakugan

I admit I should probally put this a bit lower. Cause I watched the second and third season and was utterly neutral on them. However... the first season was as I remembered and this was one of my childhood top ten favorites so... of course its gonna make the top five.

Great Pokemon knock off with characters I still love. Honestly Dan was the weakest character for me but he still was great. I love the main group and the creature designs. Preyes, my favorite as a child, was more annoying then I remembered but was still wonderful. Never skipped the opening once haha.

All in all it was pretty solid and unlike a lot of the other shows on here. It actually hopped into the plot by the first episode. There was not a lot of fillers. Just wish the series after it didn't just throw it all away.

4. My Babysitters A Vampire

I'm actually surprised I'm rating this here cause in a way the others are probally better but... I loved every one of the characters, the world is very bare bones but what we do have is extremely intriguing. Most of the show I was honestly just trying to learn more about the world. It was fascinating and opened up a lot of questions.

The queer subtext was also amazing. I swear not one of these characters are straight. As someone who likes plot usually this series did not get into it until way later. Being more of a monster of the week type show. The monsters were fun though and contributed to the world, and again the characters are great, which is why I think I was lenient.

Might actually do a fic related to this one down the line. Mostly to dump my own headcanons down and cause I looked and there was not a fic with what I was looking for.

3. Teen Titans

By no surprise to anyone... yes this was amazing to start to finish. I was going in with high expectations and it delivered. As someone who also reads the comics honestly this rendition of them is still my favorite to date. Beast Boy is still my favorite but have to say on rewatch Cyborg is equal or maybe even overpassed him.

The show was just great. Honestly not much more needed to be said here. It was how I remembered and great still. In terms of just quality this is actually number 1. It was only surpassed by the other 2 cause honestly it's perfect. I watched it and left satisfied but with no need to hop into the fandom or even read fanfics for it. It gave me what I needed and then I moved on.

2. Ben 10

I have to admit watching the first series that everyone completely hypes up. I was disappointed. Ben was annoying, Gwen was stuck up and honestly at first it was not living up to how I remembered. Then I moved onto Alien Force and the next ones. And that... was where the fond memories of waking up every Saturday to watch Ben 10 came from.

Kevin joining them and becoming a good guy. Fire. I always enjoy redemption arcs and he was honestly amazing. Gwen was honestly a bamf and her pink magic, amazing. Ben was genuine and honestly probably my favorite protagonist as someone who has a problem of usually tossing away the main character in favor of sides.

And of course, omg the aliens. I lovvvveee them so much. Their designs, seeing native versions of them. The creature design of this series is phenomenal and the action scenes honestly hold up even now. Honestly I think there is a reason Ben 10 keeps coming back. The world that he is apart of is amazing. I'd love like an adult CW cartoon just called: "The Plumbers" or something. Just to stay engrossed in this world.

I did watch a bit of the new series but admittedly wasn't as big of a fan of it. It was okay but I enjoyed the more mature themes of the 'teen' versions of them.

1. Storm Hawks

Atmos. A world of a thousand mountain top kingdoms.

And full of some of the coolest world building based on barely anything I had seen in awhile. This show immediately got me rehooked to Atmos the minute I started. The Sky Bikes were amazing to watch, the various other races in the world really added as well. Also I genuinely liked pretty well every character seen. Especially the main cast. They all... got along, it felt very organic and fun.

Honestly this one hurt the most to rewatch and get to that cliffhanger ending. The show wasn't that long but Ah I wish it was more. I would want a return to the world of Atmos. Whether with the Storm Hawks or someone else. I've even started to write some fanfic for it just to get the excitement out that I had for retouching on this fandom.

This is so far I have a list of others that I'm going to be checking out. And hey if anyone has any other recommendations I'd be down. Most of these I watched just cause I randomally got sparked or reminded of the fandom.

My next 5 on the list though are:

1. Atomic Betty

I remember this one fondly so I hope it was as good as I remember. It's just a matter of finding it.

2. Martin Mystery

I remember this show was super scary when I was younger. Doubt itll 'scare' me now but I'm still excited to watch.

3. Class of the Titans

I only remember an episode that had a vampire in it and that's about it. Really excited to see this one. And also see that episode apparently with the vampire.

4. Secret Saturdays

Monster fighting family with a sasquatch. Yeah I'm down. This one will be interesting though cause although I know I watched it. I know I wasn't that into it as a child. Still I want to see it again.

5. Transformers Animated

I saw an image of Prowl and it reminded me of this one. I never saw it on actual tv but I remember renting the series at the video store as a child and binging them. I'm real excited to watch this one again honestly. I might start with it as Transformers has always been great.

[carlos-tk]

nice ask week

hi D! it's nice ask week! What made you start watching LS and what was it about the show that made you spiral into fandom?

Hi Rae! Thanks for the question! 💗 Apologies for how long this took me to answer. Work took over my life this week 😢 Now buckle in for a stupidly long story 😅

Firstly, I had watched the original 911s first and half of its 2nd season whenever they aired (2018/19 thanks Wikipedia) and then totally forgot all about it because again #life 😅 I did hear about a spin off whenever they announced it but I guess the only info was that it was coming soon. Wikipedia is helping out and it seems it was May 2019. I didn’t really pay it much mind because by then I had already stopped watching the og.

So I move on with my life and don’t think about either series until September 2022. I saw a youtube clip of a scene: the throwing each other against the wall hookup from 1x02. I watched it and I was like.. OH?!👀🔥🥵 Saved it to my YouTube watch later and again forgot all about it because back then I was doing full time shift work and had no time to breathe let alone watch anything new 😂 (kicking myself because I could’ve been here a year ago) 😭

Cut to this year. I can give you an exact date i rediscovered 911 verse. May 17th 2023!! 🥳 All because of the Tarlos wedding.

Twitter is probably the platform I use the most cos it’s got all my sports content😅 Anyway I happened to be on the discover/trending tab and one of the top hashtags was #TarlosWedding which was airing that day. I clicked it to investigate and scrolled through. It was full of pics and fanvids of the wedding and again I was like OH 👁👁. I liked a bunch of the tweets to revisit and moved on with my day. A few days later because I had liked all that stuff, Twitter keeps recommending me more content. So I find myself back on YouTube and watched these:

and then a series of random scenes and I was like... okay I need full context for all of this. Another month passes and it’s probably end of June/early July and I’m like let me see if this is available anywhere to watch in Australia. I find it on Disney+ and they have seasons 1-3. This is finally when I watched the show. And then I could not stop thinking about it. S4 is no where to be found though. So I google and see it’s halfway through airing on Channel 7 here which means it won’t be uploaded to Disney+ for a while. So then I’m like UGH 😒😩😤 I wanted to binge the whole season like I had for the others. I kept tabs on when it would finish airing on TV and eventually the finale airs August 14th. The next day I start it and binge the whole season on 7Plus over a few days.

Now that I had seen their entire story so far, I was full blown hyper fixating. Like they’re on my mind ALL the time. I’m reading a book or watching a movie/show and thinking about Tarlos in place of the characters. I’m listening to a song or reading a poem/lyric and being like oh that’s so Tarlos coded😂😂 At this point i’m like oh no 😅😅 The fandom life is coming for me.

Then the biggest surprise of all I start getting the urge to write fanfic again! Which is insane because I had not written anything in (redacted) years. Like nearly every time as I was about to sleep, I start having ideas and rambling it out in my notes app at stupid hours like 2am 😂😅

Next we have the writers/actors strike and I’m like 👀trust me to find a new obsession and everyone is on strike and I’m gonna get nothing new for ages. Then I remember AO3 is a thing that exists and find my way to the 911 Lone Star tag and start reading fic again. Any spare moment I had I was itching to read whatever I could get my eyeballs on. I said to you the other day that I read your gym!AU first and look I might’ve read a random 1k word one shot or two but nothing I can actually remember like yours 😂🥵 I think the added pictures and texts made it so memorable because 1. I did not know you could do that on AO3 2. Rafael is like the hottest guy I’ve ever seen 😅😅 and 3. It was just so damn good 🥵 Sm*t with feelings and I am there. You teased the feelings a little and if/when (no pressure btw) you decide to revisit this universe just know I’ll be first in line 🙋🏼‍♀️ and the reason I can recall it as the first is it’s the oldest AO3 tab saved to my safari reading list 😅

By this point I’m reading fic through the end of August and September constantly. A few I read had peoples Tumblr links in the end notes so then I remember that Tumblr also exists 😂 I come over and lurk, explore the tags, look at all the beautiful gifs, look at a few peoples blogs and make a mental note to maybe join Tumblr again. I had 2 blogs back in hs, 1 fandom specific blog that got abandoned during my last year of hs and a sports/tv-series one I used a little in the years after hs but then again #life and I didn’t touch it after like 2016.

Come September 2023. I made a new email, signed up to Tumblr again, and requested an AO3 invite. Learning how to use this site again was wild because so much had changed since I last used it. I saw something about getting mistaken for bots so I spent a little time making the blog look nice and like an actual person exists before I bothered to follow anyone or any tags. October rolls around and I finally start using it every day and now I’m here with all of y’all 💗

Sorry for the extremely long story and again sorry for how long it took 😅😅

[selchielesbian]

I did not meet my reading goal this year (and threw my list out the window about a month in) but I think that’s fine because I’ve done more reading in the last six months than I have the last four years, which was the point!!

For my own benefit, and your enjoyment, here’s what I read this year:

Finished:

Indecent Advances: A Hidden History of True Crime and Prejudice Before Stonewall by James Polchin. Absolutely excellent book about the history and formation of the ‘gay panic’ defense. In depth and well researched.

The Secret History by Donna Tartt. Very glad I never got around to reading this in college because I would have made it my entire personality.

Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers by Jude Ellison S. Doyle. Essay collection that started out strong but I think lost the plot somewhere around the chapter on motherhood and pregnancy. Since publishing the collection the author has come out as trans so I’d be interested to see them revisit some of their points—there were a few times when they brought trans identity into focus but mostly quoted other trans essayists because they felt they were unqualified to speak on the subject, but wanted to include trans women and nonbinary people when relevant. This book gave me a lot to research, and some film recommendations aside lol.

Her Body and Other Parties by Carmen Maria Machado. I actually received this book from a friend back in 2020, read the first story, and went hmmm. Maybe not for me! I finally picked it back up this year and devoured it in a few days. Really delicious, left me feeling sick and raw for some time. Great stuff.

The Locked Tomb series (GtN, HtN, NtN, As Yet Unsent and Dr. Sex) by Tamsyn Muir. As you all know, it has taken over my life. I think this series has a lot of good and bad qualities and was designed to make me, specifically, insane.

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir. Very fun break down of the ‘princess trapped in a tower’ fairytale. This is one I listened to while driving and doing chores so I’d like to sit down with a print copy some time and dig through it a little more.

Antigonick by Sophocles, translated and reworked by Anne Carson. I love Antigone and Anne Carson so this was just entirely delightful. I really recommend watching the live performance here while you read along with the script!

Did Not Finish:

I’m Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reid. Really enjoyed the nonlinear storytelling and subject matter but I put the book down for a month and was completely lost when I tried to pick it back up again so it’ll have to carry over into next year’s reading list!

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado. Just as excellent and unsettling as Her Body, but the narrative hit a little too close to what I went through with my most recent relationship to the point where every chapter made me physically ill so I had to put it down for my own wellbeing. Lol. Someday I’ll return to it. Not this year.

Dead Girls: Essays on Surviving an American Obsession by Alice Bolin. Very disappointing. First few essays were interesting and well written but this is not a cohesive collection and had very little to do with the pitched premise.

This Thing Between Us by Gus Moreno. The plot sounded intriguing but I just found the first few chapters a slog. Could be persuaded to give it another shot but it’s not high on my list.