#in-mayonnaise-we-trust

[starberry-cupcake]

back by popular (?) demand, I am now starting chapter 28 of gideon the ninth and I guess I'm sharing updates to the general public now ( @lady-harrowhark this is your responsibility). I think I'm gonna put them under this tag because I am being told I will want to look back on them later (sounds threatening ngl).

previously, in gideon the ninth:

isaac was ended by some junji ito shit

jannemary was ended by a stealthy junji ito shit

very pointed messages were written for them

which is too dramatic to be a random monster killing, if you ask me

gideon took a 15 minute nap and was startled awake in hell

gideon most definitely did not look much at the room before she took said nap, nor did she remember the paper she's still carrying around

I'm losing my mind at the paper

I'm like watching another d&d player choose to never look at something the dm gave them

were we are now:

gideon is back, now with More Trauma

harrow has the compassion of a feral kitten

this is a bad combination for me, personally, in particular, because this means gideon is going to look for comfort in my mortal enemy dulcinea

she gives her a talk that is trying to distract me from the fact that I don't trust her, but I will never trust her

she was like "it'd be better to die here than to be living longer and trapped" and I was like "wanna let me help you with that?"

palamedes has also been carrying a dulcinea boner, which also makes things difficult for me

because if my mortal enemy ends up being bad and dangerous, and palamedes is in danger, it would force camilla to be in danger, and we don't want, under any circumstances, to put camilla in danger

mayonnaise uncle has been gossiping in the eighth and ortus's mom (where I'm from, 'orto' means 'ass', so I will never forget his name) spilled the beans on the ninth

he offers gideon literal tea with a side of the metaphorical tea

here's where I went "boy, I sure hope harrow doesn't push gideon away and gives her a reason to turn to these guys"

harrow proceeds to do just that

with clockwork precision

I cannot emphasize enough how meticulously she did this

if pushing people away was an olympic sport, and if that was the way to judge this competition, this book would be 10 pages long because harrow has mastered the craft

you could hear gideon's psyche becoming dust

needless to say, we're having tea with the eighth soon, everyone bring your scones and poison

which, you know, fine, at least gideon will be told information

and btw, protesilaus is still live reacting from an unknown location

idk what regina george twin, yandere simulator twin and chad the third are doing but, at this point, I don't know what anyone is doing, really

except for dulcinea, I JUST KNOW she's up to no good

and the second is probably still dealing with the fact that they lost to Camilla The Everything

[incorrectly-quoting-mxtx]

Ridiculous shit I’ve heard college students say:

Is anyone else craving shaving cream?

Freddy Fazbear is a whore

The only thing that turns me on is rocket science

Im only one dumb enough to take my own advice.

Give me my drink you machine of Satan

“Think she’ll get mad if I eat barbecue wings in the classroom?” “Possibly.”

Coding is the purest form of masochism.

The scientific method was made to verify stupid decisions.

Being okay is relative.

It’s not murder if it’s consensual!

Florida does not have rednecks. Florida has Florida men.

The only people who can be trusted less than engineering students are tuba players

Bold of you to assume that I know what I’m doing with my life.

Do you know how many calories are in Uranium?

*to their friend* You’re asking a lot of questions for someone who’s a figment of my imagination.

They’re high heels not a war crime

Why do the laws of physics have to get in the way of fun

*not at all sincerely* I’m sorry that I’m smarter than you

*To a professor* It’s okay, you can say it went to hell, we all agree with you.

“What goes on inside your head?” “Not much, actually.”

It’s always really hard to tell the difference between a philosophy major and the local weed dealer.

*in immense pain* who invented triangles?!

Why do you need to be an engineer when you could be a dumbass with a knife?

You have kneecaps and I don’t have money, one of these things is going to change.

Please steal my identity, I don’t want it.

Bold words coming from someone within stabbing range

Jared, 19, is a fake illiterate, I’m a real illiterate

Hey Siri, what’s my stripper name?

How much iron supplement is required to kill a child?

She’s not my waifu, she’s just another girl!

*Very loud, very intense argument about the proper amount of mayonnaise that goes on a sandwich*

That’s how I get shot, HeHe straight to hell.

Fuck Google! We optimize our own routes!

[paradoxcase]

Chapter 31 of Nona the Ninth

I feel like it's kind of significant that this is the second to last chapter of this book and I'm still doing these posts one chapter at a time. At this point in the other books I think I wound up doing the last few chapters all in one post, because I didn't want to wait to find out what was going to happen in them. This book is definitely much lower energy

This has to be confirmation that Nona is telepathic, doesn't it? Palamedes said earlier that he got the layout of the Ninth from Gideon/Kiriona, but Nona never saw that, she was asleep when that happened. It doesn't matter how accurate she is at driving the truck through the River if she doesn't know the layout of the place or where they're intending to wind up. The only way she could know this is if she read Paul's and/or Gideon's mind

I know they probably mean that Noodle will be moral support, but after everything else that happened in this story so far I momentarily thought Paul was saying that the necromancers were going to kill Noodle and use the resulting thanergy to heal people

The Ninth seems much darker and more dreary in this chapter than it did back at the beginning of Gideon the Ninth, but I don't know how much of that is because it is legitimately darker and more dreary now that it's being overrun by monsters and how much if it is just that it's Nona's POV

I went back and looked, and there is in fact this description in Gideon the Ninth:

This thing possessed Colum supposedly because Mayonnaise Uncle had siphoned him and his own soul was currently absent. Teacher told them there were monsters at Canaan House that could do this, but it was never explained why they were there. I don't know how accurate we can trust Teacher to be given that he was a construct and he didn't even tell anyone who Cytherea was, but I'm going to guess that these are not naturally occurring and probably resulted from necromancy experiments that were being done at Canaan House and I guess also at Antioch, and for some reason now on the Ninth. It doesn't sound like Gideon is realizing that Colum was possessed by one for the first time, so she already knew there was at least one place other than Antioch where they were present, right? And it doesn't sound like they are restricted only to possessing people who are being siphoned, if this is happening all over the Ninth right now, unless they are just possessing already dead bodies or something. Gideon said they were waiting for Crux to die so they could possess him more easily, right?

So three or four months ago supposedly not even John had seen one of these, and yet there was at least one just chilling at Canaan House this whole 10,000 years or so. Or maybe they just didn't come out in numbers at Canaan House due to a lack of dead/vacant bodies to possess? Although there certainly weren't a lack of dead bodies by the end of the book, and it sounds like they might be possessing living people on the Ninth. It sounds like they are saying that they need to wound people to infect them, so maybe to infect living people they need to do that and only Colum was vulnerable at Canaan House because his soul was temporarily MIA and there weren't any just wandering around in bodies and capable of wounding people?

I have to note that no one did this to Colum's body at Canaan House. Ianthe "killed" it by removing his head, but no one burned anything. And Colum's body was presumably sent back to the Eighth House... and it was also alone in John's morgue with the frozen bodies of the people John sent back to repopulate the Ninth... maybe that was the infection vector? Only I think all those bodies went back to the Eighth and Ninth like a year ago, and according to Crux this has only been going on for a day

The fact that Canace and Davith are gone certainly doesn't bode well

I guess if she told Aiglamene that she killed herself to save Harrow Aiglamene wouldn't believe her and might be even more pissed at Harrow, haha. It's interesting that Aiglamene doesn't seem to question or wonder about how she is still walking around while dead

Gideon was angry at Nona for being in Harrow's body without being Harrow and telling her to shut up and calling her a baby and stuff when they first met, but now she is protecting her from Aiglamene. And it's interesting that she said "don't be mad at her because she's not Harrow" instead of "don't be mad at her because Harrow did nothing wrong". I'm sure she's still mad that Harrow didn't want to consume her soul, but she knows quite well that Harrow had nothing to do with her death and could have told Aiglamene that, which would probably be a useful thing for her to know in the probable event that Harrow regains occupancy of her body at some point in the last chapter of this book

Well, I mean, there's Paul

So I guess Pyrrha is banking on Alecto bailing them all out once she gets back into her right body (or at any rate, the body that John originally made for her). At the end of the chapter, Nona tells her that she probably won't care about them anymore once that happens. I guess we'll find out who's right pretty shortly

I don't think Harrow ever mentioned believing she was someone else? I almost wonder if Alecto actually took over her body sometimes? But I don't think Harrow ever mentioned forgetting things that happened, the way that G1deon thought he just forgot things that he did because Pyrrha was actually using his body at the time

I mean, yeah, you can't take that away, but if Alecto turns out to really not care about fixing any of their problems next chapter, there's still some practical issues they'll have

It's interesting that G1deon liked Alecto, given that Mercy and Augustine both said that they hated her and asked John to kill her, so I have to wonder what kind of interactions Pyrrha and G1deon had with her

...I've seen pictures of this T-shirt on tumblr, and was like "what does this have to do with the Locked Tomb?"

Also, how on earth did Palamedes and Camilla combine into a person who approves of this T-shirt

I'm imagining the last chapter, now: Alecto and Harrow swap souls again, Pyrrha is like, Alecto can you please get rid of all the zombies, Alecto is like, just a sec I have to go get something, ten minutes later she is back wearing the free mustache rides shirt that she went all the way back to New Rho to get from under the sink

[nykloss]

Ok everyone! It's time to throw some ingredients into the luau potluck soup!

I trust that you all put high-quality ingredients in the pot this year. We don't want the governor to regret his visit to the valley!

[almost-a-class-act]

Miscellaneous Tag game

Tagged by the beautiful faces of @softguarnere and @mutantmanifesto !

Favorite place in the world you’ve visited?

Iceland. Around every corner, a postcard view. Absolutely unreal. I can't believe it exists.

Something you’re proud of yourself for?

I went to an alumni event over the weekend for a big club I used to be a part of at my university, and heard from a few people that I made them feel welcome and included in the group when they first got there. A few "you probably don't remember this, but..." It was really fucking nice.

Favorite books?

The Alice books by Lewis Carroll.

Something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?

I missed a call from my nephew on Messenger Kids the other day and then he sent me a drawing of a stick man simply titled "Gustavo".

Favorite thing about your culture?

Tough one, I'm a mayonnaise-blend Canadian. We make sausage every year so I suppose that's a fun holdover from ye old Europe days.

When did you join the HBO War fandom? What was the first show you watched?

I watched The Pacific circa 2012 and then I sort of forgot about it until I watched BoB in the fall of 2020.

Have you read any of Easy Company’s books? If so, which ones were your favorite?

I've got the Ambrose book and the Babe & Bill book under my belt. I own the Malarkey book which I've been told is fab but I haven't cracked it yet. My favourite HBO War book is (say it with me!) Helmet for my Pillow.

Favorite HBO War character and your favorite moment with them?

Robert Leckie, and it might be that bit at the end where he's snarking about having fought for television. That feels like book Bob Leckie to me. (And it doesn't hurt that Vera gets a kick out of it!)

Do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?

I write fic primarily for HBOWar and Justified these days.

Favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?

Andrew Garfield and everything he does puts a damn branch in my eye.

Favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?

"In the eighth inning, you can't hear the roar of the ninth. All you can do is hold yourself together, and trust." Jim Abbott

Random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?

I collect shot glasses. I have a big 'ol shelf of them from all over the world.

If you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader (say yes so I can be your beta reader 🤭)?

@fayestardust reads most of my stuff before I post it so she can tell me where I invariably left entire words or plot points out. Thanks ma belle!

Three things that make you smile?

My French press, summertime lake swimming, sucking nearby friends into whatever fandom black hole I am currently in.

Any nicknames you like?

My ball team calls me a nickname that won't make sense unless I explain a tedious sports pun to you, but otherwise I don't think I've had too many nicknames that have stuck.

List some people you love to see around on tumblr!

@mutantmanifesto and @cody-helix02 post my fave art. @mercurygray is just one of those fandom bright stars. @onehelluvamarine is a real sweetheart.

There are a lot! It's 11:30PM and I'm tapping out. But I see all y'all.

What would you do during a zombie apocalypse?

I am a backwoods camping gal so I have a water filter, camp stove, dry food, etc., and I live pretty wilderness-adjacent. You guys will have to come track me down if it turns out if was a false alarm.

Favorite movie?

Goon.

Do you like horror movies?

Love 'em.

Tagging: @educationalporpoises @dukesoakedoats @heystovepipeboys @batmanschmatman @terresdebrume @vintagelavenderskies @eoinmcgonigal @lionsaint @fayestardust

[anothercrisis]

it was way too long without Nikolai thoughts so come with me to this journe- /coughs/

Food.

I, for fucking sure, know that Nik hates most of his national food. Its just not that good to him. There are some good dishes that he will make in the middle in the end if he curves it. Like Oliv'ye. Its a salad made with potatoes, carrots, any type of meat (or not, I've seen it without meat), eggs, canned peas, mayonnaise and toppings (onions, pickles or cucumbers, ive heard of people adding corn but i strongly believe its a sin). Basically you boil everything, chop it up, add salt, mayo and its done! Easy and tasty.

I'm ready to swear on my mask and glasses, Price almost killed him when it happened the first time. Like imagine waking up to noise in your kitchen and your lover is gone and you hear a loud bang and “Syka! (Bitch but usually used as fuck)” from said kitchen. He was this close 🤏 to strangling Nik but was lucky to be spared. Turned out he grabbed hot pot with my brothers vegetables and spilled some boiling water on himself.

I heavily headcanon that you can- /coughs a little/ you can give Nikolai products and a recipe and it'll be done almost always perfectly.

About Price... well... beans on toast. Thats it. That's all you will be getting. Even if his life would depend on it he won't, never fucking ever, make anything. Not trusted even by Soap to cook anything. Gaz once tried his cooking and got food poisoning and a visit to the hospital. Ow.

I think you are absolutely right. Nik is definitely the one between him and Price who knows how to cook.

And I wonder if it’s because, like with languages, Nik just had to learn the skill to ensure his own survival and to enrich himself since no one else had the time or cared enough about him to teach him.

I feel like when he had free time on his hands, once life obligations like school and work were aside, that he would like to spend it doing something worthwhile, like reading or eating. And maybe it’s like a ritual of his. I’ve heard someone say before (in my own words) that they like to put energy into their cooking because it translates into energy for their body and mind. So I wonder if Nik does the same. If he intentionally takes the time to cook whenever he can to get that settling feeling of care and comfort.

And Price. At the end of the day, he is still a white man and who will only season his food with salt and pepper on most occasions. He doesn’t have the time with all of his duties to adopt a cooking ritual like Nik has, and we all know he wouldn’t be any good at it anyway.

So yeah, when Nik joins the 141 and when Price welcomes him into his little family, Nik takes to cooking for all of them whenever he can. It’s a love language as much as any other.

After a long mission where the team is barely standing, after Nik has brought them all safely back to base, after they’ve all been to medical, they will all gather around the common areas and sit together in comfortable silence while they wait for Nik to cook them something warm and comforting and hearty.

The entire team counts on Nik as much as they do Price. The two of them are the foundation the team stands on and there’s no telling what they would be without them.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Ficlet: Mayo on Pizza

(Happy birthday @xhanisai )

It was late at night, Ladybug and Chat noir were patrolling the rooftops. Monarch had been very quiet and the two decided to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.

After a few hours, Ladybug’s stomach growled.

“Sounds like it’s time for a snack break.” The cat hero said with a cheeky grin.

Ladybug was flush with embarrassment.

“I forgot to have dinner.” She confessed.

Chat noir shook his head.

“Well we can’t have that! And fortunately for you. I know a place that is both filling and tasty.”

Ladybug shrugged and followed Chat noir across the city. After a dozen rooftops, chat noir stopped.

“Perfect, they are still open.” Chat noir exclaimed with joy.

“Bruno’s Pizzeria?” Ladybug spoke aloud.

She remembered that Alya mentioned a weird restaurant that Nino took her too a few weeks back. Apparently the toppings were… unorthodox.

But as her stomach growled again. She followed the cat hero as he leaped down to enter the pizzeria.

The bell chimed as the two entered, where a portly man with a glorious mustache greeted them.

“Well if it isn’t My favorite stray!” The man greeted chat noir.

“Ciao Bruno!” He greeted the man with a smile.

“So you brought the bella this time. Ciao Ladybug.” Bruno greeted Ladybug.

“Nice to meet you.” Ladybug responded politely.

“Hey Bruno, we are in need of some Patrol food. Could you set us up with two slices of the Heaven Pizza?”

Bruno smiled big

“I see you have awakened to the genius of the pizza. I will prepare it right away!”

Ladybug tilted her head in confusion.

“Heaven Pizza?”

“Trust me Ladybug, you will love it.”

After a few minutes, Bruno rang the bell and placed on the counter two slices of pizza. Chat noir and ladybug took their plates. Chat noir happily started eating though Ladybug noticed something unique about them.

“What’s this white stuff drizzled on top?”

“Oh, it mayo.” Chat noir said between bites.

Ladybug looked at the pizza in shock. Mayonnaise on pizza?!

She looked at her partner who was happily eating the slice without qualms.

Ladybug was no expert on pizza, but it did seem weird to add the condiment on top of the pizza.

Chat noir noticed ladybug wasn’t eating.

“Trust me, it may seem weird but it’s really good.”

Ladybug looked at the slice nervously for another minute before deciding to brave the decision and try it.

To her surprise, it was actually delicious.

“Wow, that is something.”

Ladybug devoured the slice. Her only regret was she didn’t have another.

Chat noir put the money on the counter.

“Thanks Bruno.”

Bruno gave the cat a wave, happy to know the heroes of Paris enjoy his food.

Ladybug learned that cuisine can seem weird but can make for unique flavor experiences.

[draconic-hazard]

Im bored and currently afflicted with terminal brain rot so here is my post about Which TMA Entity I Think WordGirl Characters Would Belong To. This post caters to me and me only bc idk how many wordgirlies like TMA

I might make another post later with more characters if i feel like it

Becky Botsford, AKA Wordgirl - The Eye

Lets put aside her superpowers for a second and focus on her main shtick: Words. It seems like she knows every word in the english language. Eye avatar behaviour 👁️👁️.

Dr Two-Brains - The Corruption

Alright some may disagree with me but hear me out. First of all he’s a mouse, which are generally associated with filth and disease and other nasty corruption things. Secondly, he has a second brain attached to his head. One could argue he and Squeaky have a parasitic type of relationship, classic calling card for the Corruption. Thirdly (and admittedly the weakest point on this list) he eats cheese and only cheese, which is basically just edible mold

The Butcher - The Flesh

Do… do i need to explain? Meat is his whole thing. I wish i could write more but like. This is pretty much self explanatory

Granny May - The Web

The web is all about manipulation, and Granny May has this down pat. Every single episode with her in it she is making people trust her because ‘oh look shes just a sweet old lady she cant possibly be robbing the banks 🥺🥺🥺’. Also her main attack is her yarn balls which some could argue is similar to the spiderweb thing that most Web avatars have going on

Mr Big - The Web

Ok so i have less of an argument for him than i did Granny May, but! There is still a case here. Mind Control is his thing, his brand, heck its even in his company’s mission statement. That sounds like Web behaviour to me. Also he’s a capitalist and name one thing more manipulative than capitalism

Tobey McCallister III - The Extintion

WAIT WAIT WAIT HEAR ME OUT! Tobey is all about robots, and destroying things with said robots. Now that may sound kinda slaughter-y, but a lot of the times the episodes conflict is also about Tobey thinking robots can do a better job and everything than humans, be it painting, sports, or even being his mom. One part of the Extinction that is slightly overlooked imo is the idea that after the apocalypse, a new, and inhuman species will inherit the nuclear wasteland of an earth we’d leave behind. And who else to rule that wasteland than an army of giant robots? Plus he’s the youngest of the (main) villains, which could be a little nod to the fact that the extinction is the newest of the fears

Chuck the Evil Sandwich Making Guy - The Buried

This one was kind of a struggle, because sandwiches aren’t very scary so how would one draw a connection to fear entities there? But i believe i have a case here. So! His main attack is his condiment gun, which sprays mustard, ketchup, and mayonnaise, which seems to solidify around the target, thus trapping them as they are unable to move. Plus, a machine that we see him use several times in the series is his giant sandwich press, which works by crushing down a target. Awful lot of claustrophobia, wouldn’t you say? Also idk why but he has the same vibes as i feel most buried avatars have (no offence intended)

[fairykukla]

Today's lunch!

Curried chicken salad in whole wheat pita, banana, and Naughty Vicar tea served on vintage gilded Steubenville Woodfield tea and toast set.

Recipe and story under the cut.

Curried Statdler Chicken Salad (I'm calling it Statdler salad, because it's awfully close to Waldorf.)

1 can of chicken. You could also catch, slaughter, pluck, prep, and cook a chicken. I just buy a can from Aldi.

Handful of grapes. Any kind is fine. If they're small, that's good. If not, cut them in half.

Handful of pecan pieces. (Walnuts are traditional, but I live in the Mississippi River valley; we eat pecans here.)

Just enough Duke's Mayonnaise to hold it together. (Trust me, Duke's is the best. They put crack in it or something.) I used the low fat formula. You should, too, if you don't still have a gallbladder.

Curry powder. I can only use the kind without garlic or onion, but you do you.

Whole wheat pita. Or crackers, bread of your choice, or one of those egg wrapper things to hold the chicken salad.

Medium bowl to mix in.

You could add some chopped apple pieces. I forgot to do this, and it was still great.

You could add chopped onions, if you love to stink.

Gather your ingredients first. (Don't make my mistake.)

Open the can of chicken, and drain the fluid. Move the cat out of the way. Explain to both cats, now, that this lunch is for people, not cats. They won't believe you, but it will make you feel better. Dodge furry bodies while you gather the rest of the ingredients. (Didn't I say not to make my mistake?)

Scoop out the bit of chicken fat sitting on top.

If there are no pets present, dump the chicken fat in the trash. Or eat it. I won't judge.

If there are pets present, dig out the Special Wet Food cat bowl(s). Put the chicken fat in the bowl(s). Mash up a piece of chicken for each bowl. Place the bowls on the floor to appease the angry, pointy, furry Gods that live in your house.

Dump the remaining chicken into the medium bowl. Wash the grapes, cut them if needed, and drop them into the bowl. Add the pecans. I used chopped pecans, but you do you.

Add the Duke's Mayonnaise to the bowl. Try not to overdo it; you only need enough to get the ingredients to stick together.

Before you stir, sprinkle curry powder on top.

Stir. If you have to add a little bit more Duke's Mayonnaise, go ahead.

A big can of chicken makes at least two sandwiches, so if you're eating alone, put half into a container and set it in the fridge.

Cut the pita half and scoop Statdler salad into both halves.

Serve on your fanciest dishes, because you're worth it.

[agent-bracken]

Secret New Year's Santa 2023

Hiiiii @agents-of-virtue! Happy New Year. I’m so excited to be your Secret Santa because I also have really strong opinions on latkes, wrt your Roanoke Winter post. This was really fun to write. 

Bekah checked her watch for the ninth time. December 16th, but just barely… She understood why 12:30 AM was the right time for a secret meeting in the middle of the woods, far off from any trail or manmade light source, but it was still cold and dark enough to increase the distance from home. 

At least it wasn’t snowing. That she was able to hold onto, as well as the multiple handwarmers stuffed into each of her pockets. 

12:31. 

12:40. At this point, Bekah unscrewed the lid on her thermos and took an indulgent first gulp of hot chocolate. 

At 12:41, a thin branch snapped directly northeast of her. A figure stood perfectly still, boot-clad foot held precisely at the point of the noise. It had a large, waxed canvas coat on with a hood drawn close, wisps of warm breath barely escaping a woolen scarf. The figure raised its mittened hands and lowered its hood, revealing a face both exhausted and relieved. 

“Annabelle,” Drew sighed, marching forward through the brush and giving her a hug. Though they had little time for pleasantries in such a sensitive mission, it had still been three months since anyone had seen him.

“You’re eleven minutes late,” Bekah chided, “I was going to turn around.” 

“No you weren’t.” “Was too.” 

“Was not!” Drew stifled a laugh, drawing his attention to a bird having awoken from the commotion. 

“How long do we have?” Bekah took a seat on a mossy log that had escaped most dampness from evergreen tree cover. “I brought you some first aid, painkillers.” 

Drew sat down on the ground, some of his natural playfulness overriding his carefully constructed gruff demeanor. “I have never wanted an Ibuprofen more in my life.” 

Bekah drew out a small box that had a ribbon tied around it in a bow, “Are you hurt?” 

“No,” Drew admitted, “Just to have. Just in case. How did you know?” 

“You know I just know.” Bekah passed Drew the box, and he dug out from a secret pocket on his jacket a makeshift file folder with hand drawn maps, journal entries, and whatever else he could squirrel away. 

He reached deeper into the pocket still and brought out a small burlap sack. “Something else?” Bekah asked warily, concerned about the potential of Drew stealing an artifact or item of power from a cult so difficult to be stationed in. 

“Yeah, something else.” Drew unceremoniously dumped the total contents of the bag onto the ground and dropped his mittens on top. A handful of woodchips, a lighter (precious contraband brought on the last supply run), a cast iron pan the size of his extended palm and fingers, a vial of oil the size of his pinky, a small box labeled ‘CANDLES’, and a damp bag of something that smelled vegetal. 

There needed to be few words spoken to understand the task at hand. Bekah held the flame to the woodchips and gently coaxed an ember out as Drew gathered twigs and pushed stones into a circle. 

“I put salt and pepper in with the potato,” he explained as he rummaged through another pocket, “And I tried to bring some condiments, but everything’s kind of limited out here…” 

Bekah’s stomach sank. Above the mission, the deep trust they kept to maintain Drew’s secrecy, the greater ambitions of the Roanoke cult surveillance program, and even the biting cold itself, this moment would be the ultimate decider of Drew’s allegiance, whether he knew it or not. 

“Okay,” he sighed, “So I had a few leftover eggs, so I whipped up the whites with the last dried garlic bulb-” 

“Mayonnaise,” Bekah interrupted, “You brought-” 

“Aioli,” Drew pleaded, “Garlic aioli.” 

“Fine, aioli. What else?” 

Drew palmed another vial. “Vinaigrette from the fall. I spiced it myself. One of the better downtime activities.” 

“For latkes!?” 

“Okay, but get ready for the shocker. I was on contraband duty last week, and I couldn’t believe it… Everything is in the notes, but there were these two new guys, and…” He held a small packet between his fingers. 

“Barbecue sauce.” 

“From Arby’s.” 

“Barbecue sauce from Arby’s.” 

“Isn’t it incredible?” By now, the single latke sizzled on the tiny cast iron. Bekah offered her knife to flip it with as she processed the… uh, sure, incredible experience. 

By 1:00, the latke was crispy on both sides. Bekah split it down the middle. 

“What’s it like back home?” Drew asked, melting the bottoms of seven candles to the log. 

“Same as it ever was,” Bekah joked. “We found kittens in the garage.” 

“Are you serious?!” Drew paused his work to check her expression, “How many?” 

“Five.” Noticing Drew’s well-intentioned menorah spread, she nonchalantly palmed the lighter from Drew’s hand and melted down one more candle to finish the line. “They’ll be bigger when you’re back, but they look like aliens right now. Little fuzzy aliens.” 

“Little fuzzy aliens,” Drew remarked back. He dug one more candle out of the box and handed it to Bekah. 

Bekah lit it and murmured under her breath as she lit the row of candles. 

“Sorry you’re on assignment on night eight.” 

Bekah couldn’t hold her laugh any longer. A trio of birds flapped away. “I lit candles at the motel before heading out. You didn’t have to do this.” 

Drew shrugged. “It’s still a taste of home.” He peeled away his half of the latke and coyly squeezed half the packet of barbecue sauce onto it before taking a bite. 

Bekah took a breath and held it. She glanced away at the departing birds, and checked for any sign of  human life in range of hearing or seeing them. She exhaled and held out her hand for the rest of the sauce. “This,” she sharply warned, “Does not leave the woods. We do not tell anyone back home. Not ever.” 

“I always have room for another secret,” Drew agreed. They ate as the candles burned all the way down and the fire had been smothered. By the time Bekah turned on her flashlight, Drew was gone again.

[starberry-cupcake]

I come here with further updates on my gideon the ninth read as per the favorable responses in my previous shares . You asked for it, so you're gonna have to hear it (@lady-harrowhark maybe you'll have fun with this one)

previously, in gideon the ninth:

this happened

currently, having just finished chapter 29:

gideon had tea with the eighth

actually no, scratch that, gideon sat in a chair while mayonnaise uncle's hair got braided, they never got to the tea part

false advertising

mayonnaise uncle gave half info, as people seem to like doing here

duracell bunny nephew stepped up and called him out

good for him, actually

you go, duracell bunny nephew!

it's gonna end terribly for him, but we stan

gideon left that Situation and found teacher saying ominous things

gideon left that Other Situation and found regina george twin being intense with swords

chad came in and she bit him

I see a trend alert with these third necromancers and the biting

gideon left that Yet Another Situation and went to the ninth room

gideon proceeded to open the closet

gideon got brad pitt-ed in the movie seven, but instead of gwyneth paltrow's head it was protesilaus'

it's not gideon's best day

now, hear me out

I know how this will sound, but hear me out

I haven't read past this scene, I haven't started chapter 30, all I know is she found the box

but hear me out here

just, just listen

hear me out

I still blame dulcinea

no, no, come back, I have a theory

I don't trust her, she's shady, she's too suspiciously fake kind, she's desperate and she has mentioned wanting gideon as a cavalier

I think it was back when gideon was turned into a blood sprinkler during the whole temple run key second trial thingy

or maybe later, after jeannemary left the mortal plain, but she said it at some point

and gideon has told harrow she wants her to free her to be dulcinea's cavalier

which, over my dead body

or maybe not, people here are dropping like flies, but anyway

dulcinea knows things others don't seem to know

she says things that gideon doesn't follow up on because she's horny and dense (affectionately)

I don't trust dulcinea

in case that wasn't clear

so what if

hear me out

seriously, I swear I have a point

what if harrow was set up?????

no, no, come back, listen, listen

gideon said something like the box wasn't well hidden

and I doubt very very very much that if harrowhark harrowldine harrowmina nonagesimus would have ended a bitch, she would have half-assed anything, much less the hiding

like, she'd either kill in plain sight and make a show of it or make it disappear and nobody would know

harrowhark harroweena harrowline nonagesimus pulled an edward and alphonse on her parents and only 3 people know she did

the entire system of these houses is unaware of that fact, as far as I know

so, if she wanted to hide a murder, I think, I hope, she would do better than this

also, keeping a head in a box doesn't seem her style, that's very haunted mansion and she's more halloween horror nights

so

what if she's been set up????

and gideon has like 3 brain cells working right now so she might fall for it??? hopefully not but maybe????

and side with my mortal enemy dulcinea instead?????

am I crazy????

am I too latina for this and seeing things???

is dulcinea the soraya montenegro of this story??? or is it me??? am I the drama???

this might all be absolute nonsense and in like 1 chapter I might be proven wrong but I don't trust dulcinea del toboso the seventh and I never will

if you pictured the always sunny meme while reading, that's the right energy I'm trying to share here

[skylarmoon71]

Timeless Wells (Flash) - Speedster Chapter 19

That night he’d taken you back to your apartment and left. 

He felt like he couldn’t look you in the eye. 

For the better part of the week, he’s careful to avoid running into you. He can’t face you, not yet. Not until he’s ready to confess what he’s done.

So he goes about his days as usual.

There’s a few times during that week that he catches a glimpse of you. He’s become pretty skilled at avoiding face to face interactions.

Maybe if he’d been more willing to deal with the problem he would have seen the expression you wore every time he evaded you.

~Star Labs~

“Hey (Y/N).”

You’re working in the lab and you don’t really respond to your name, not until Avery is right in front of you.

“Oh, hey.”

“Are you alright, you’ve been spacing out a lot. Yesterday you almost poured mayonnaise into your tea." Evan inputs.

“Sorry about that.”

You haven’t spoken to Harrison in what feels like ages and it’s starting to get to you. After the movie night you woke up in your room. Which you could only assume that he’d dropped you back.

A very sweet gesture.

You intended to see him the next day to plan another fun movie marathon, but it was like he disappeared. Since then you would catch brief looks, but the second he caught your stare he would look away. 

Confused and a little hurt, you were stuck with your thoughts. Maybe you’d done something that night? To your recollection nothing strange happened, so it made no sense for him to suddenly shut you out.

The longer you think about it the worse your mind seems to become.

“Hey guys I’m leaving early. I just remembered I have something to take care of.”

You can tell they are curious, but they don’t push. They both nod and you take off.

It’s time to confront the issue. You stroll over to his office with a new determination to get him to fess up.

It always felt so empowering when you decided to take a stand. The second you’re outside his office however, the doubt creeps in. You reach for the door, but stop halfway.

“Maybe I should stop by tomorrow, he might be busy.”

Another excuse.

“No! I’ve got to do this.”

You close your eyes, knocking on his door.

“Come in.”

From the sound, he’s alone. You step in quickly. Once inside you lock the door and Harrison finally looks up. You can see the way his body goes a bit rigid. The sight hurts. What exactly had you done to gain such a response to your presence?

You try to brush it off the best you can.

“Why are you suddenly acting all weird and distant? Did I do something?”

You’re done creating crazy scenarios.

“You didn’t do anything.”

He still refuses to look at you and it’s not helping to clear his case.

“You can’t even look at me anymore.”

Your tone is bitter, and he removes his glasses, running a hand through his hair as he stands.

“It’s not what you think.”

“Then explain it to me because I don’t understand!”

It feels almost wrong not to have him look at you with the warmth he’s always held.

It’s driving you crazy trying to read him. He finally looks up. If you expect something, it isn’t the heat that’s now visible in those usually playful eyes.

“You trust me.”

His statement confuses you, but when he begins to move closer, you find yourself stepping back. He’s right next to you now and your back is against the wall.

“I shouldn’t do anything to deter that trust..”

You’re distracted by the way he’s now somewhat looming over you.

“I..I don’t understand..”

Of course you don’t.

You’d been unconscious when he shamelessly attacked you.

“Please just tell me what’s wrong, tell me how to fix it.”

He should be the one pleading right now. Not you. For your forgiveness.

“You can’t, because you’re not the one who broke anything. It was me.”

You’re still puzzled.

“I don’t-”

“I kissed you.”

That stops you cold.

“You fell asleep when we were watching that movie and you fell onto my shoulder. I just..I just wanted to kiss you. I took advantage of you while you were vulnerable and in my care.”

He looks ashamed and you feel for him. It was an innocent kiss. Then he’d basically run like some criminal. You would have laughed at his innocence had it not been for the very defeated look on his face.

“We’re both adults, you didn’t have to turn tail and run. Harrison, you've been helping me for months now. It’s normal to be confused about feelings. You don’t have to punish yourself.”

There’s a part of you that’s been hoping for this development, but it’s clear he’s not ready to approach such a relationship and you aren’t ready to lose the person in your life that you care most about. You’re completely willing to set aside your feelings to help accommodate him.

“I’m not confused.”

There’s a sense of determination in his eyes.

“At the time I was. But I’m not confused, not anymore.”

You can hardly believe it, there’s a part of you that still questions it.

“Maybe my obligation to you has extended into an emotional outlet, that is possible. Despite that, how I feel about you, this isn't some need to hold onto you because I feel like I have to protect. It’s more than that. This isn’t transference.”

Now you’re the one who looks unsure.

“Are you saying that you-”

“Yes. I have feelings for you.”

It’s the only thing that makes sense to him. It’s been so long since he even considered love for obvious reasons. When he set out, the plan was just to turn you into a hero.

Now, circumstances have changed.

He’s still too close, and when his hand touches your cheek, it’s as though you’ve forgotten that you need to breathe. His stare has you completely paralyzed. No one has ever looked at you that way. Not since that time. Harrison leans in cautiously. You feel as though you should do something, say something, but nothing feels right at the moment. Not until his lips lay gently against your own.

It’s a tender fleeting touch that’s gone just as quickly as it appeared. Harrison pulls away fully. You don’t say a word, you’re not sure what’s the right thing to say. Your face falls and Harrison feels guilt from the action. Both this time and the one before.

“You shouldn’t have done that..” You mutter.

Harrison has an apology set and ready, but you grab him by the collar of his jacket and spin him around, pressing him into the door. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise when your lips press insistently to his. For a moment he thinks this is a daydream. His hands are raised awkwardly, and you show no signs of relenting. When he feels you nibble on his lower lip it’s like the breaking point. 

His hand slides around your waist as he pulls you closer. A cute little moan escapes your lips and the heat of the sound rushes right through his body. He vaguely feels your hand pulling at his tie, and it slides right out of the collar, dropping to the floor. You pull back and he gasps. You basically rip his shirt open, the buttons clattering to the floor. Your hands move to the expanse of his very defined torso and your lips have gravitated to his neck. You’re leaving kisses at every part that you can.

Harrison isn’t sure what course of action to take. All he knows is that it feels amazing. His head falls back on the door as you continue your maddening ministrations. At the back of his mind he knows he should put a stop to this. He’s at work. This is definitely breaking every code of ethics and he’s the boss!

“(Y/N)...w-we need to stop..”

He’s breathless. It takes a moment for him to finally gain enough control to halt this before it goes too far. His shaky hands move to your shoulders and he regrettably pushes you back just a bit.

You’re breathing is a bit staggered for obvious reasons and his isn’t much better.

He looks at you to explain, but there’s a haze of desire reflected right back at him and he gulps. You look as though you want to devour him right there and he groans, pulling you back in as his lips come crashing down on your own. You moan in approval and Harrison stumbles as you try to guide him away from the door.

“The..couch..”

You mumble in between kisses.

He nods, following your lead. His shirt is still hanging open, his tie is somewhere in the room.

Harrison drops onto the couch, and you fall right into his lap. You’re both sitting upright, and his hands pull your thighs in an attempt to get you closer. You feel everything. All of him.

Sliding off your lab coat, you drop it uninterested. Harrison’s hands have gravitated to your hair and when he gives a soft tug, you moan.

He parts, looking at you.

“You liked that..”

You nod, a bit desperate.

“Y-Yes, do it again.” You insist.

His mouth slants over yours and he gives another pull as his tongue slides past your lips. You hold onto him, fingers running over his bare chest. You love the feel of smooth skin, doubled with just the right amount of muscle. It’s perfect.

He’s perfect.

The minute you reach for his belt buckle he’s almost dying with anticipation. The sheer fact that you’re initiating this is driving him wild. He’s never felt this out of control before.

As faith would have it, it became clear that trying to get it on in a work environment was not the best choice.

You hear the sound of feet skating before you fully see who it is.

“Harrison I just wanted to check in on-”

Barry’s voice startles you both and you basically jump right out of Harrison’s lap.

Barry is standing there gaping and you clutch your blouse that you hadn’t even realized came undone.

“B-Barry!”

Harrison’s appearance leaves very little to the imagination. His hair is tousled, shirt open, jacket hanging off on one side. There’s a few faint marks along his neck. Barry turns around, somewhat mortified.

Harrison scrambles to his feet and you both look between each other.

It seems the jump to reality has cleared the fog of arousal on both sides.

Right about now you would very much like to evaporate. 

[cheerfulomelette]

boop what's your favourite thing you've written in the last week (or if you're in the dreaming phase what are you planning)

I'm currently doing the second editing pass on chapter 13 of Steiner-Oavànson and the Shark Tooth King - the chapter which made one of my betas cry (high praise!).

Prior to this point, Steiner, a retired and newly-widowed war mage, has lied about being married in order to save Magni, a total stranger, from being murdered by pirates... only to discover that Magni was, until recently, a member of a religious order that specialised in killing wizards and mages.

But! Having been kidnapped and with only each other to rely on, the pair strike up a workable sort of friendship (which my betas are already reading as romantic - which... well, yes, but I was expecting to have a few more chapters before we got to that point. We haven't even got to the 'nursing him back to health' chapter, never mind 'there's only one bed'. I had no idea Alford was such a flirt).

Favourite bits from this chapter include:

"Well, in that case, how about we pack it in for the day?" Magni suggested. "You still owe me a game of cards." The way Steiner perked up at the suggestion made Magni feel a twinge of guilt at what he was about to do to him but, if he was going to trust him, he had to know how good an actor Steiner was. "That sounds ideal, actually. Yes. We'll have to play for matches, though. I seem to have left my wallet on back on Kahawi." * * * Steiner threw his cards down in disgust. "Seriously?" Magni laughed, collected the cards and shuffled them into the deck. "Come on." "I cannot believe we couldn't scrounge a box of matches," Steiner grumbled, unbuttoning his shirt. "This ridiculous bloody ship."

and

Magni stared mutely at his cards while he struggled to come to terms with the idea that he was, metaphysically speaking, a type of mayonnaise.

[paradoxcase]

@turtletotem:

I saw an absolutely fascinating post positing that Cristabel may have been quite a lot like Gideon. You could certainly describe Gideon as joyful, after a fashion, and kind, and definitely a delight in her marvelous way, but also not much of an intellectual. (Smarter than anyone gives her credit for, including herself, but not an intellectual.) They share a certain propensity toward self-sacrifice, too. (continued)

This blew my mind, considering it was nothing at all like the way I had envisioned Cristabel, but it actually does hold up. And explains why Cris's necromancer (prissy and bad-tempered, not unlike our Harrow) loved her so much, and a lot of other people found her annoying.

Yeah, I was sort of thinking that Augustine's description of her called to mind the same kinds of himbo qualities that Gideon has, but I wasn't sure how accurate we could trust Augustine's account to be. Although, I don't think there were really a lot of people who found Gideon annoying? Crux hated her because he perceived her as being treasonous, and Harrow's family was just afraid of her, but other than that most people in Gideon the Ninth actually seem pretty well disposed towards her, with the possible exception of Mayonnaise Uncle, but I honestly can't figure out if he had any particular feelings about Gideon as a person. Jeannemary liked her enough that she specifically sought out her and only one other person out to tell about finding Protesilaus in the incinerator. But I can see how someone like Augustine wouldn't have been fond of her

@wellhappybirthdaytomeiguess:

So the holy resurrection Augustine mentions is literally that: those who were the first gen my gods were the first people resurrected by John. They became lyctors a few centuries later. It will be explored 😀

Right, but Augustine is specifically saying here that Cytherea was born long after that happened as a regular person in this world and wasn't resurrected in that sense, so it must mean something different in this context

[randomveyn]

Hello Can you do an Ichigo x reader with a Yuzu who is jealous that her big brother is leaving (because the reader and Ichigo are getting married) and a funny isshin please💘🥺

help this is so cute!! you have no idea how happy i am when i was writing this 🥹 i hope you don't mind me writing this in a freeform (like not in a real fic format. just my thoughts and rambles.)

✨ long rambles under the cut ✨

okay so if ichigo and reader are getting married he'd definitely insist on moving out! it's his only chance to escape isshin's morning kick and his insane fatherly love. also, ichigo absolutely don't want his old man gawk at his s/o and stupidly stick around them the whole day. it's annoying as hell. (ichigo and karin are gonna protect reader at all cost)

isshin will 100% ugly cry on the first time he met reader, shaking their hands frantically, thanking them from the bottom of his heart that they'd even spared a glance on his rebellious, unlovable orange haired son. (he's getting a getsuga tensho from said son.)

after all banters and jokes, isshin might get a little serious (his highest record is 11 seconds flat) and talk about what it is like to walk down a lifelong journey with a shinigami. he has his worries but isshin knows they both are strong together, which reminds him of the day he come the decision of marrying his wife. (cue, isshin rush to that huge ass poster of his very beautiful wife and starts crying all over again)

oh, and isshin is giving them the protection amulet too bc he can't really trust his son on anything. (getsuga tensho on his ass this time)

now, ichigo was surprised to find that his sweetest, cutest little yuzu is not happy about his marriage. (ngl his heart died a little inside) i mean, she isn't exactly opposed to it. in fact, she couldn't be more happy to know his brother found his true love. it's just a teensy bit of jealousy that every younger sibs have for their onii-chan. not to mention, ichigo is rarely at home ever since he started his substitute shinigami job. their family bonding time is only limited to dinner, (sometimes ichigo skip that too) and now you're telling her she's getting none of them??!! just imagine she couldn't cook sunny side up and omurice for him anymore. 😭💔

but fret not, guess who's gonna come save the day!?? it's kon-sama!! okay no he's gonna be bostov for a couple of days, let her dress him up in pink dresses and frills to cheer her up a bit. bc kon self-proclaimed he's ichigo best buddy and would do anything for him.

in exchange, kon wants to be the host on his wedding day. (he ended up being the mascot…yk those that are attached at the front of the car) and, the karakura rangers all got the memo and are here to support yuzu and help her navigate through her emotions. (ichigo is deeply moved, not realizing how many good friends he actually has)

eventually, yuzu understands and feels slightly embarrassed that she threw a tantrum over something small like this. (she's so precious okay everyone give her a hug 🥺) but she's a little stubborn though. like she feels sorry but she's not apologizing this time. ichigo and reader will be invited to dinner, where she cooks up a feast with all her onii-chan's favorite food. “they say lock a man's heart with good food so you still have a long way to go, hmph!” she proudly declares with a smug grin, prompting ichigo to ruffle her hair, just like how he always does.

bonus:

ishida makes the best wedding attire for them. he may have accidentally added too much frills on ichigo's though.

i know we said kon will be the mascot but rukia is offering her building-sized chappy too. and she's drawing all the invitation cards by hand! be grateful ichigo!

“nii-sama! how about thank you gift of chocolates in the design of wakame ambassador!”

“hm…splendid suggestion, rukia.”

“uhh urm…byakuya you really don't have to－”

“kurosaki-kun! did you know chocolate goes well with mayonnaise!”

“omg not you too…inoue”

chad and renji may be all cool on the outside but they're secretly competing to be the best man. if they were to give a speech or something on that day, don't be surprised to find them rehearsing at urahara's training ground.

renji would come up with the corniest speech ever that he can't read it without getting his face as red as his hair.

chad is naturally a man with few words so he'd probably write a song instead. best man award goes to him pls 👏🏻

don't invite toushirou pls he's fuming at everyone trying to convince him to be the flower boy 💀

don't invite rangiku-san too. she has no self-control. she'll drink up every cup of alcoholic beverage like water.

[golbrocklovely]

since i have nothing else to post right now…

here’s the last of colby’s tweets from 2020.

i don’t have proof that these are his tweets, but believe me, they are his.

if it’s bold and italicized, it’s someone’s tweet to him.

if it’s in (), that’s just me commenting lol

added bonus: if they have a * next to them, that means it’s been deleted

~~~~~~~~~~

Oct. 1 - love doing things for myself

Oct. 4 - i’m in so much pain. sos

fan: u ok?

poison oak. everywhere …. everywhere.

Oct. 5 - i like the simple things

Oct. 7 - less is more

Oct. 10 - i wanna make you happy

how am i so busy during the day but still manage to find 2 hours to mindlessly scroll through tik tok? i can’t be the only one

Oct. 14 - i care too much

Oct. 15 - somehow it wasn’t enough

Oct. 18 - fan: I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT COLBY SMELLED LIKE..I WANA KNOW WHAT COLOGNE HE WEARS

mayonnaise

(i hate this man so much lmao)

Oct. 19 - Justin Bieber’s new song made me tear up, that dudes been through so much. no one could even imagine what that’s like.. achieving everything and being in the biggest spotlight at such a young age.

Oct. 20 - @/samgolbach: less than 6 months ago i broke my back. and i decided to take that as a challenge to get healthy again. and today i ran the fastest mile i’ve ever run. so yes, i might be an idiot but i’m a determined idiot 🤘🏼🏃🏼

🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 that’s an insane accomplishment ! i remember when it was a struggle to stand up out of bed

new day, same cycle

Oct. 21 - my mom is texting me all the young pictures of me and it’s bringing me memories i didn’t know i had

Oct. 25 - panic attacks late at night are the worst

Nov. 1 - @/colbybrockscar: reminder that it’s no nut November!!! @/ColbyBrock doesn’t even have to try. He’s got this shit in the bag. It probs comes out like baby powder if he tries

did my car just roast me ?

Nov. 4 - this is scary

cuties! all 3 of you! (reply to fan in merch with friend and cat)

Nov. 6 - @/GracynCarr: I can’t believe the audacity of a high school tweet to pop up on my timeline lmao.. miss u tho @/ColbyBrock :)

hope you're well xx

Nov. 8 - so much talent thank youu love (reply to fan's art)

fan: Um. So I tweeted this to you before but alot has also changed since then sooo wanted to say thank you 🖤 🖤 @/ColbyBrock

proud of you, and good luck with your dreams darlin 🖤 you can accomplish anything with the right mindset and hard work. i believe in ya

time flies, and i’m so scared of losing my youth. it’s inevitable i know, but damn makes you wanna cherish every moment you got

Nov. 11 - i hate when nothing is wrong but nothing feels right

Nov. 12 - the person who makes you forget about the rest of the world

Nov. 13 - today marks 6 years since we posted our first YT video on the MAIN S&C account .. 🖤 what a wild ride

Nov. 14 - promise you i’m a good waste of time

Nov. 15 - @/katstuartmusic: “sunday is my funday” - colby brock 2020

🥂💁🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️

fan: Colby u get drunk off of one white claw

fight me

other fan: my money is on mags

round house kicks to the face don’t feel too good

(is it bad that i like when colby gets weirdly violent with us sksksks)

Nov. 16 - the Why Dont We dudes are some of the nicest people in LA

*Nov. 17 - @/gabytriana: It’s out! Sam and Colby were so much fun to work with, and despite what Colby said, I did not hate him when we first met! 😆 Both he and Sam are super kind, smart, generous entertainers who know how to tell a good story! I love them both!! Happy Book Birthday, @/samandcolby

hahaha thank youu so much for all the hard work ! so excited it’s finally here

(interestingly enough, colby didn't delete his tweet… gaby did)

Nov. 19 - went to a Pyschic Reader tonight. my mind is blown. im not a skeptic anymore, video coming tomorrow

fan: Get ready for religious people to freak out

the psychic i talked to was religious, i’m not sure how but i think the two concepts can exist at the same time

Nov. 21 - hard to trust

fan: @/ColbyBrock hey, i love u lots

love you 🖤

Nov. 23 - fan: imagine if @/ColbyBrock responded to this

could you imagine

Nov. 24 - fan: lmao okay so my friend put this together when I FINALLY received Colby's reaper merch yesterday and I had to laugh, I am actually stupid. But I thought it was a lil funny so y'all can see it too then xx

hahahha love it. thank you. you’re not a sack of potatoes in my eyes

Nov. 27 - happy b day @/SamGolbach you know this and imma save the sappy shit for your big 25th bday but i wouldn’t be here without you. you’re the most intelligent, deep thinking dude i’ve ever met and i feel pretty damn lucky to be able to call you a business partner AND best friend

Nov. 28 - take it easy

Nov. 30 - should i hop back on tik tok?

Dec. 2 - @/aaron_doh: At least I got a photo shoot out of it 😄

whaaat. dude i wish you a speedy recovery

Dec. 3 - it’s hard to move on

Dec. 5 - a nice escape is all i need

welp. i guess i’m a lightweight

Dec. 9 - miss you

Dec. 14 - all the baggage that comes with me

Dec. 15 - been workin hard for you , announcement tomorrow

fan: omg are you pregaganant

how'd you know

@/samandcolby: announcement tomorrow… 2021 will be the best year of our lives (and probably most difficult)

fan: are we getting married?? is that why?

yes

i hate how having anxiety makes me nauseous. it’s the worst feeling

Dec. 16 - it’s all about living in the moment and making every. second. count.

fan: yeah @/ColbyBrock how much are you charging for tattoos…

free for you

Dec. 18 - big tool pic but i’ve been workin hard

@/mannymua733: we absolutely do not mind

hahahaha

(god damn… this pic is still so good lol)

also cold weather always makes me want a special someone to spend time with. cuddle buddy is neeeeeded

fan: okay but can we just take a second to appreciate how hard colby’s been working in the gym because dayum

thank you sweeeetheart

fan: HELP COLBY IS TRENDING

yoo i love you guys 🥺

Dec. 20 - got tatted last night and i barely remember

how i feel this morning (pic of him floating)

fan: you’ve seen elf on the shelf… but have you seen cole in a hole? (@/ColbyBrock)

i’m mad i laughed at this

Dec. 23 - why’d ya have to change on me

so bittersweet saying goodbye to my childhood home of 18 years… i’ll only be back to kansas to visit and sleep in hotels from now on. strange feeling, but so happy for my mom and dad for taking a chance and moving

it’s like i don’t have a real “home” anymore. since i move so much anyways it’s hard to find a spot to actually call home

fan: i just want to say that colby has helped me through so much this year. i had a tough year as many others did but you’ve seriously have helped me through so much. i love you so so much @/ColbyBrock

awh that’s why i make videos in the first place. for people like you

Dec. 24 - addicted to you

my mom and i are the weirdest duo on the planet when we’re together i swear

fan: Make a video with her for Christmas

my whole family despises being on camera 💔

Dec. 25 - fan: momma brock is the sweetest ever

she’s my favorite woman in the world

Merry Christmas friends ! 🖤

i wish i could have face tats for like one week but it doesn’t really work like that huh

Dec. 26 - everyone’s battling their own demons

Dec. 28 - fan: Colby drinking wine but he's such a lightweight that he's probably drunk, lmao @/ColbyBrock

🤫🤫🤫

fan: the vibes are fucking ethereal i’m guessing @/ColbyBrock

you got it