#inbox boundaries

[if-confessions]

As a writer and a reader, who has been around this community for the last three years, it has been crazy seeing the change in the if fandom as a community.

It used to be a positive environment for supporting independent game creators, but there is so much negativity against IF writers now. the readers are pushy, critical and demanding, expect games to cater to their exact preferences or be customisable to the point it might as well be a 'fill in the blanks' game instead of a narrative. IF writers are antagonistic towards each other, resentful of other creators success. There is a trend that when games/demos are successful, the authors become the target of attacks that seem to be looking for any excuse to take them down, and punish them for their popularity. The result is that a lot of games that are in the alpha stage / completed no longer use tumblr at all, which is a shame, because it was a unique opportunity for readers to engage and support an indie game creator.

I think the IF fandom really needs to do some soul searching on the type of environment it has created for indie game development / IF writing.

[I am assuming Anon meant the Tumblr/CoG scene of IF, as this is not a sentiment/trend shared by the overall IF community. Other scenes of IF don't care or even reject customisation "expected" here (doesn't mean they don't have their issues either).]

LOL, Anon. I was having an eerily similar conversation about the customisation the other day.

Communities do change overtime. As older members leave (because they don't enjoy the Thing-tm anymore, they don't have time for it, they don't like where the community is moving, they've been rejected by the community, etc...) and newer members arrive, the dynamics adapts to the current members. Sometimes it is for the better (more positive contacts, barring less-desirable members creating conflict from staying, etc...), sometimes it's for the worse (like in your message, attracting more problematic members or enabling the worst in people).

An issue with Tumblr that other communities may not have is how "decentralised" and lawless it is. Some groups may have guidelines/rules for interactions (resource blogs/authors asks rules), but you can't control all the members like you could in a Forum, for example. There is no Code of Conduct that limits what is and isn't acceptable (aside from the very board Tumblr CoC and even a lot of shitty things can be posted). There is no mods that can take down a post that will sent the community aflame (unless it is Staff bc the post was against their ToC/CoC). There is no consequences against bandwagon hate/harassment (even with the block button). So you end up with... well, this...

It would be nice if there was a bit more unity in the community, but that would require many people changing their behaviour and essentially stop being complete asswipes. And they are not the kind to stop shitting on others...

I'm pretty sure that a lot of those issue could be solved if people:

stopped being a dick in someome's dms/asks (should be a given, but damn are anons wild sometimes) <- like +75% of the issues would be gone with just this

would be respectful when sending messages/commenting (not making request, being pushy, etc...)

stopped following authors/projects not making them happy (that's a vicious cycle, easy to start hating on them...)

didn't put their problems and frustrations on strangers on the internet*

went outside to touch some grass (or take a break from Tumblr, it will do wonders!)

*This does not apply to the confession booth btw.. I'm talking reg accounts here. This applies to everyone, btw. You'd think this would be common knowledge to be decent to one another... but I guess not.

As a side note, to remind everyone that:

you do not have to have an open inbox if you don't want to

you do not have to have your dms open either

you do not have to allow anonymous messages

you do not have to answer every messages you receive or reply to every comment you get

you can trash any message you do not feel comfortable answering

you can delete comments/replies you do not feel comfortable with

(creator) you do not have to include every request readers make

you can block/unfollow users for any reason (or no reason)

you can block/report hateful anonymous messages

you can restrict reblogs/replies

you can change your mind at any time about accepting a kind of asks (like the NSFW ones)

you do not have to be on Tumblr every free moment you have

you do not have to interact with every post crossing your dashboard

Having boundaries is good, setting and voicing those boundaries is better, enforcing those boundaries is extra important.

Until then...

🤷

Now making a fill-in the blank IF would be a fun idea...

[old comments in tags: be the change you want to see i guess im just trying to stay silly here /]

Under the cut, some more rambling and wild assumptions about how we got here.

===> Increased entitlement in the community

Note: this is a generalisation. Not every reader is entitled, not every request is outrageous, and not every author is a pushover. We are talking about visible trends.

There's no denying that it has had quite the impact on the community and how games are set. Gone(-kinda) are the days with completely unique characters with a unique voice and its set path, hail the rule of customisation that inevitably becomes too overwhelming for any creator to keep track and complete the story. Is the "CoG expectations" the culprit, there? With the CoG to Tumblr exodus, yaknow...

But it must have started from somewhere to have those vocal entitled readers hounding creators for all this stuff, they can't have appeared out of nowhere! Twine games from the 2010s were not chokefull of customisation...

Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if it all started with some minor request for customisation, which was accepted by the author, which may have made other readers realise they too could have requests or expect the same kind of customisation in other project, and this snowballed into... *wave at the mess*, creating a vicious cycle of base customisation expectations (which are getting insane...), shunning pieces who do not fit those expectations, and still having more special requests*. *Honestly, the authors could just accept those request but as like paid content. Oh, you want more that will definitely fuck my whole timeline of planned work? Tip me like 100$ and I will...

At the same time, and this is an observation that has been accentuated with the kinds of asks I've gotten here, some authors have not helped the situation either. With people almost begging for interactions and notes or just to please the readers because they are interested in that stilly little project (or the pressure from blowing up, or before the idea is set in stone), some authors will seriously bend over and backwards for those requests, even if it means forgoing the OG plans altogether because it doesn't fit with the promised request.

Readers feels more empowered to ask -> there is a pressure to cater to readers to get interactions or the request has become part of the base expectations -> request is accepted, but author might feels resentful -> readers feels more entitled to ask -> etc...

or

Readers feel more empowered to ask -> the author refuses -> readers put pressure on the author because another one accepted it or iT Is cOmMon KnOwLeDge -> author feels resentful towards the community...

Which is kind of related to point number 2...

===> Numbers go up and Jealousy

Note about this point: I am not talking about the want to be seen by other people, to feel like your message has been heard, to have your presence acknowledged. That's what we are kinda all doing by putting our stuff out there.

Every time I get an ask about someone worrying that to do have enough traction on their project or get zero interactions and they have lost all their motivations or are resentful to newer projects blowing up*, I honestly struggle to see a positive future for this scene. It seems like everything is about notes and reblogs and how many followers you have and how many ratings you can get and how many asks you get and etc... *see the no demo discussion

What is supposed to be a hobby for 99% of us is turning into some ugly race to have the highest number of *wave again at things*, by tanking other creators rating average, manipulating your followers to boost your own, creating rumours about a project/author, sending hate anons, creating dumb drama, stealing/plagiarising whole ass games, etc... Just to be at the top and have the biggest number. Numbers, I feel like I need to point out, means absolutely nothing outside of this website (or even this scene of IF). I really don't understand this dumb race...

And it is so frustrating to see, because we should be hyping each other up, discussing each others fav games, being excited to see another voice join and create stuff. It's not like we have to all be the best of friends and blind ourselves from any misgivings. No, we should still be able to criticise constructively or call out bad behaviour. But the whole envy and jealousy* oozing from the community is really... bleh. *doesn't mean you can't be jealous/envious of someone else, I know I am. Just use those feelings creatively, not to put down yourself or others.

Same with the whole notes/interaction thing. Outside affirmation is great, it really is, and boy does it gives a nice boost to the ego and the energy levels to continue when you get some (especially when the other person is gushing about your project). But basing all your motivation to create on outside approval will lead to a lot of pressure to perform when you get it, despair and disappointment when you don't, and resentment when you see other get more.

===> Parting notes

Ugh... I spent too long on this shit. I'm going for a walk before I get more sad. Then, I'm coming back to play my friend's game and create something weird.

[konigsblog]

i need to write a soapgaz threesome where they're both owners of a bar, and let you stay afterwards because you're too drunk to walk yourself. who knows, maybe they'll have their fun with your drunken self for letting you stay after hours... :(

[fatliberation]

One exhausting thing about being fat is the endless understanding and forgiveness you have to have to maintain any personal relationships. I overhear my mother saying how disgusted she is by fat Autistics. I’m a fat autistic. I can’t say anything about how deeply hurtful this is without being sensitive. My friend says only fat people will die of covid, so it’s not such a big deal. So I don’t deserve to live? Or the classic:“Ew I’m getting fat”. If you start a fight each time someone around you implies you don’t deserve life or your body is vile, you’ll spend your whole existence arguing.

I empathize with this so much, anon. My family (and some friends) are SO deeply invested in diet culture and fatphobia. I have a parent who is a lobbyist for the pharmaceutical company that sells ozempic and wegovy, and no amount of education or asking for human empathy will change their mind or make them treat me better. It's a hard reality to accept that you can't change everyone's minds. and it is so, so tiring and emotionally exhausting to have to advocate for your existence 24/7. I get burned out doing it too often. The thing is, you don't have to offer endless forgiveness. I'm currently working with my therapist on what to do about this, and the unfortunate solution is to set harsh boundaries (yes, even if they will never understand it or think I am too sensitive, or crazy... it is VERY uncomfortable but I am working on being okay with being misunderstood!) and distance myself from people who refuse to respect said boundaries. Next time my parent berates my food choices, tells me I'm going to die young, or compares me to an anti-vaxxer for not losing weight, I'm removing myself from their presence and tell them these types of comments are driving me away. If they want me in their life, they'll learn to respect me. It hurts, and it's so fucking hard when it's immediate family.

As for non-familial relationships, I've curated my social circle to (mostly) friends who are fat positive and it's one of the best things I could have done for my wellbeing. If I meet a potential friend who starts spitting some fatphobic bull, I avoid hanging out with them from the get-go. I've met most of my fat positive friends in social groups made for fat people, check out facebook groups to see if there's any fat community in your area!

Tbh I have always had this idea of carrying around little pamphlets or cards that are like fat liberation 101 for strangers, I would keep them in my pocket to hand out to someone who says something fatphobic to me so I can avoid confrontation (and exhaustion)... if I made those would you guys want them? 👀

[gazumirei]

the pressure fandom right now

[tacticalprincess]

i see that ur half black (?) can i request race play with konig?

no you cannot!

[dumplingsjinson]

Let me just uh, set some hard fucking boundaries with some of you people in regards to MY relationship.

Do not keep questioning my choices on MY relationship.

First of all, you're not in this relationship. Let me mess up and find out, if worse comes to worst. Let me fuck around and find out. I'm not going to blame you for not warning me, don't worry. Seriously. So stop questioning me.

Don't keep asking me, "Why don't you label things with him? I think it's bullshit that there are no labels. What's the POINT of this relationship if you're not labelled as such and such? You're just wasting your time. Stop that. It's weird. This doesn't seem right to me. Why call it exclusive if there's no labels?"

Let me fucking date how I want, damn. Let me be in a goddamn relationship how I want, without me needing to explain myself to you. You, who I don't even know. You, who's not even a mere acquaintance of mine. Even my friends aren't questioning me, so who are YOU to question me when you know virtually NOTHING about our relationship?

Why are YOU, as someone who doesn't know the full fucking picture, trying to enforce your rigid little rules onto ME? If you like labels and only commit strictly with someone once those labels are established, good for you! Do you!

But don't go on the internet, read the stuff someone shares (which doesn't paint the whole picture, mind you, because I'm not sharing my whole goddamn life biography on here) and then go running into their inbox and yell at them for their choices, or because their choices differs from yours. Don't do that because you don't KNOW them. Don't act like you know everything from the small details you've read. Yes, I share things on here, but only things I'm comfortable sharing. Surface level shit, basically.

What you think is normal isn't always someone else's normal. Please remember that.

The way some of you act in my inbox... It's embarrassing at best and disgustingly rude and kind of intrusive and also insulting at worst. And because you've got the anon feature on, you think you can just say anything. (That's a whole other rant I've been wanting to get off my chest. I've got a few drafts I've never posted that are from months ago lmfao).

Now, to tone down the aggressiveness for a fraction of as second, I get you care about me and it's probably coming from a good place, but I am TWENTY. THREE.

Let me remind you.

TWENTY THREE.

Not three.

Not thirteen.

TWENTY. FUCKING. THREE.

I can make my own decisions. I am a legal adult, probably moreso than some of you out here coming into my inbox and full on trying to start an interrogation with me like I did something wrong for wanting to do things MY way for MY relationship.

And SLIGHTING me for my choices is where I'm setting the hard boundary at.

DO NOT, and I repeat:

DO NOT...

...under any circumstances, come into my inbox and act like I'm a dumb fucking bitch. (I am a dumb fucking bitch, but I'm also a self aware dumb fucking bitch. There's a difference.)

I know what I'm doing, I know the consequences, I know what I'm in for. I'm not fucking stupid and naive. I'm not a 13 year old about to start her first relationship with her high school crush.

So stop treating me like a donkey, and stop questioning my choices. Remember, as harsh as this sounds, some of you need to hear this and REALISE this: You've got no place in my life to do that. Absolutely fucking none.

Learn to read the room and learn that there are lines that shouldn't be crossed.

OH, I need to add this here. Before some of you come into my inbox and ask me WHY I'm sharing shit if I'm not open to opinions on my choices... There's a difference between opinions and civil discussions, and crossing someone's boundaries and questioning their choices because you think YOUR way of doing things is the right way to do things.

Just because I share some stuff on here doesn't mean that warrants you an automatic pass to shit on my choices. Fuck that bullshit, because that's just shitty behaviour and you need to look inwards and realise you're doing a lot more harm than good by being a piece of shit to someone you essentially do not know.

Remember, if you won't say this shit to someone in real life while looking them in the eyes, then don't fucking say it on anon in some stranger's inbox. That's a dick move, and you're a prick if you do that. Fix yourself, for the sake of humanity.

That is all.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

got three asks asking for laughingstock in a row, im putting the doodles i have On A Shelf <3

[readingbythestreetlights]

https://www.tumblr.com/readingbythestreetlights/731841760251215872/by-now-charles-and-max-have-to-be-aware-of?source=share&ref=_tumblr

is that a lestappen discourse or something??

hi anon!

not entirely, no. of course it was super fun to see all the lestappen posts and everything from the social media teams, i just wanted to bring up concerns about boundaries!

i’m sure many drivers know that people like their “bromances” [think carlando, even they use that term themselves—i don’t think carlos really understands that people genuinely ship them as a romantic couple (lando’s an internet kid, he probably knows)] so there’s nothing inherently wrong with simply using ship names. but in carlando’s case, there’s a lot of documentation of them being great friends. in lestappen’s case it’s usually their small mannerisms that get the most attention from us lestappies. (this means that if max and charles become aware of it, they might—unconsciously even—start to control their own mannerisms more.) it starts to cross a line once PR teams use shipping lingo over and over again. here’s why:

it causes some fans to forget about the boundaries that should be abided by for RPF shipping once they see the official pages “shipping” in the public eye

it honestly has an element of queer-baiting to it, where the teams are getting money from generating interest around this queer ship, but they wouldn’t officially make any efforts to support lgbtq+ rights

i really don’t think a line has been fully crossed with just a couple posts about it—i am however nervous that now that the marketing teams see the full power of just mentioning a ship, they’ll do it more and more often, leading to a crossing of boundaries that should not happen.

[nemisisnemi]

》 Boundaries. 《

READ BEFORE YOU INTERACT.

☆ Do NOT mention politics here

-> if you have a concern, then dm it to me. otherwise, go to my sideblog linked below: @nemiisnemisis

☆ Do NOT repost my art, use my art, or feed to ai

-> only moots (and possibly art requesters but unlikely if it's not oc related) can ask to use my art as of right now

♡ MUTUALS: please ALWAYS ASK me first before using my art!! + Art credit is MANDATORY

☆ DON'T rush me on when I'm going to post or when I will finish a certain piece

-> I'm busy with college and life. Rushing me will only make me post slower or not post at all

-> It will all eventually be done and posted, so just be patient

☆ ALWAYS read my art request rules before you send in a req AND always check my art request status before sending in a request as I WILL DELETE any that have been sent to me while it's closed

I will block you without warning if you break my boundaries. I'm sick of people breaking them because they can't be bothered to read my pointed intro post.

[strangefable]

i will never post any ask from a stranger asking for money. EVER. not for any reason or cause. stop sending me these asks.

[if-confessions]

i really wish ppl would stop answering anons that clearly arent sending asks in good faith. like that anon berating creators for having m*les as an RO (fuck that anon, obviously). everyone and their mothers fell for that shit! if we dont engage with the trolls, they will get bored and move on. just trash/block them please. in begging. i cant take it. (i know the authors don't answer that for attention, but its getting to a point where im even questioning this)

[posting as is - thought I would love to hear other people's take on this...]

[miguel-owhora]

why do ppl have to have their pronouns in their bio for them to follow? /gen

my blog is a nsfw MLM blog, meaning that i only write for masc readers and masc characters (for the most part.) i dont feel comfortable with fem-aligned readers reading my works, so there's no reason for them to be following my blog when it's strictly for masc-aligned readers.

[viaetor]

hi everyone! i hope you're all doing well and taking care of yourselves and having good days. i haven't been very active here because of my surgeries, but i plan on being more active soon since i've been missing writing a lot. before that though, i need to state something very important for my blog going forward: i will not be interacting with any natlan characters/blogs or characters related/inspired by the region (including ocs), only if they're canon divergent. this will not change with the release of the archon quests. i will simply take whatever i feel is relevant to my aether and that’s it. my reasons for this drastic decision will be explained below. please take this post not only as an announcement but as well as a vent and an attempt to call for awareness, especially since many of us are not only roleplayers but writers, artists and content creators. i'd appreciate it if you could all read this post in full.

this post is also not directed at my mutuals or any people i have contact with. this is just me trying to make my boundaries clear, explaining them, and hoping you can understand (and perhaps relate to) my hurt. read this post and make your own judgement. i appreciate your time regardless. 

i'm latin american, proudly born and raised. my parents fought in the dictatorship of our country, my grandparents were of indigenous settlements. i'm a history graduate with honours, and before that, i studied social and political sciences. i've been a part of political movements in my university to guarantee equality and education, and i only stopped being part of some of them because i received threats by alt-right extremists targeting my family. even so, i still continue to be a constant participant in assemblies and projects. i'm an avid volunteer worker in local schools, and i worked in hospitals, too. i speak portuguese, spanish, french and english with varying levels of fluency. i've lived most of my childhood and early adolescence in villages. i've participated in many religious rituals, invited by practising people of those beliefs, and i've shared so many wonderful memories with people from so many latin american backgrounds that i can't even make a cohesive timeline of all my adventures. 

i'm saying all this to emphasise that i'm speaking from a place of experience, knowledge, and culture. my word is by no means the law, but i sure do believe it holds weight. you're free to disagree with me and think otherwise, of course. but i do think that, if that's the case and you have very strong positive feelings regarding natlan as a whole, it'd be best if you would unfollow and block me for both of our sakes.

i've been playing genshin impact since its launch, and ever since the release of inazuma as a region, i've been discontent with how the game has been progressing in design. i've also written and published scientific articles about the inherent colourism, racism and orientalism found in genshin, specifically in sumeru, while also nodding in acknowledgement to some of the research that the design team put in some characters—namely al-haitham, nilou and cyno. i know the issues we are seeing today are not new. however, it for sure has gotten worse. 

with these disclaimers out, i'd like to put some of my grievances out in the open. 

when you play genshin, you can feel that liyue is china. mondstadt feels like germany. inazuma resembles japan. fontaine is an ode of love to french steampunk and was very well designed. even sumeru, with all its issues of blending all of swana in one single region, has some research done when it comes to the islamic golden ages and pre-islamic mythologies. so if you see anyone arguing that hoyoverse is “just a videogame company”, know that they can and have done better. as their popularity and revenue grow, as players—free to play or otherwise—we are entitled to expect the same quality or more from them.

i don't feel the same way about everything we've seen of natlan so far, and i've been feeling more and more disrespected. 

i was sceptical when natlan was first announced, and some leaks were happening. i expected the worst, and honestly, it sunk even deeper than i thought. the names of the characters we've got, alongside some leaks, suggest that the characters we will be getting are based on the north, central, and south americas, africa, and oceania. this worried me very, very deeply and today, with the newest released trailer, i just gave up hoping for anything good, really.

although some people may (ignorantly? optimistically? blindly?) claim that all these continents are connected—and they certainly have many influences on each other through religion, culture and economics, born from colonisation processes—, it's at best stupidly naive to believe that one single entire region in an online videogame will tactfully tackle complex non-western and non-asian cultures and customs. because, yes, those are non-western and non-asian societies: we are progressively denied a place in western politics and cultures, we are treated as lesser, and we do not participate in global economics. when did you last buy a chilean videogame in the united states or europe? or a fiji pair of shoes? or a nigerian movie ticket in your city theatres? if you've answered "never" to just one of those questions, you've proven my point that these countries and regions are not "part" of the west or even asia. we are outsiders. we have always been treated as outsiders. while these european and asian powerhouses were allowed to stand as their own regions, genshin muddled all these cultures and ethnicities into one melting pot that they are calling natlan. the game is quite literally a global phenomenon now. imagine the impression natlan will be projecting to an audience that is none-the-wiser to the cultures natlan is meant to be inspired from.

so, again: when it was announced that natlan would take inspiration from all these regions, my heart sank. it feels like we're all being put together in one single frying pan of "exotic," "distant," and "unknown." everything that is considered "tribal" (because that's how westerners and asians tend to see us) is being thrown in natlan. it's demoralising. 

this is not to mention the clear money-grabbing and capitalist recycling of character designs going on with some of the characters—something never seen before in genshin impact’s history, by the way! they always came up with new concepts—and the abhorrent colourism that has been intensified. 

the disrespect has been getting rampant. some of the already shown characters have tribal tattoos that are used by some of the indigenous people for important rituals. the patterns of clothes they've shown also mix many cultures and peoples (sometimes even historically rivalling ones, to top that off) that are disrespectful. they went for a streetwear/biker kind of look that looks completely soulless and unimaginative, instead of doing the bare minimum of researching beautiful contemporary indigenous-owned fashion companies. because it's easier. i think it’s also easier to hire voice actors who aren’t latines, right? we must be “scarce, barely existent”.

and, what kicked the bucket for me, after trying so hard to give genshin the benefit of the doubt: an important deity for the yorubá people, iansã/iansan/oyá, has been shown as a fucking child in the game. she… and olorun, who you might know as ororon if you play in english, even though in all other translations (japanese, korean and chinese), his name is written correctly as olorun. but of course, the english translation team for hoyoverse, as usual, couldn’t do the bare fucking minimum. because it’s a nigerian name, right? why do they/you care? but just so you know, in case you’re the least bit curious: iansan and olorun are two of the most important orixás/deities in african and african-latin american religions. they’re worshipped to this day. they’re real, representative religious symbols. not tokens. not your average dead gods. i want to ask you, sincerely: what would you think and how would you feel if genshin named a guy "mohammed", or "allah", or “jesus christ”, or a girl "mary magdalene"? what do you think happened when cod vanguard showed the quran's pages on the floor? people were pissed. and of course, people should be pissed. and don't try to "oh, but people do that with greek and egyptian gods". don't be disingenuous, i know you’re smarter than that and that you know there's a difference and creeping power dynamic here. 

if this is not enough for you, then please, enlighten me. where are the beautiful forests of natlan that could have been inspired by the amazon? where are the amazing deserts inspired in bolivia or chile? how about the colourful cities of el salvador or cuba? is it truly enough for you guys to have something slightly resembling the aztec empire and its continuous fetishisation? wouldn't it be easier to play crash bandicoot or the old indiana jones games? why are we celebrating this?

i'm beyond heartbroken. 

to my latine siblings, whether you’re celebrating/enjoying natlan in your own way and finding light in it or if you’re as disappointed as i am, we deserve better than this. 

to my usamerican, canadian, european and asian friends, please, please, please listen to people who have lived and loved latam and all the other regions. i already did what i could: i've sent tickets to hoyoverse, i'll be muting natlan-specific words, and i will not be rolling on any upcoming natlan banners. 

so this here is just the nail of the coffin: i will not be accepting anything natlan-related on this blog.

thank you for reading!

[thebibliosphere]

This is reminding me of rumor that someone mailed Gerard way a physical copy of some pretty gross porn of him and someone related to him - like put that shit in his fucking mailbox

That’s awful. And also sexual harassment. Which is a thing I think a lot of people don’t realize.

It’s absolutely fine to find people you don’t know attractive and explore that attraction in the privacy of your head (and in the case of rpf, behind a filter that warns for explicit content that doesn’t shove it directly in the person’s face).

It’s another to go up to them in a random setting and showcase your most explicit thoughts and expect, what, approval? Reciprocation? Or is it thrill seeking to just get a negative reaction out of the person?

Either way not cool.

[grimowled]

;ooc

[bestmutt]

But if you make a secret account and block your kids, what if they also make a secret account to follow your secret account?

HSJHSHHDJD god knowing Leo and Donnie, they would do that