#inclusive language tips

[kopfconsulting]

As entrepreneurs, our words and actions can make or break connections with our audience. A simple slip can do more harm than we intend. Learn how to navigate interactions with mindfulness and inclusivity to foster positive relationships and avoid Foot in Mouth Syndrome.

[busket]

the biggest tip i can say about trans inclusive language when discussing anatomy is to just say what you mean without trying to find a euphemism, and to be specific to the conversation that you're having. if you're having a conversation about childbirth, say "people who can give birth". not everyone who can give birth is a woman and not every woman can give birth (both trans and cis), so don't say "women" or "mothers" or "females", you don't even have to say like "womb haver" or whatever. "person who can give birth" is specific and clear if you're talking about childbirth.

if you're talking about penis and testes, just say that. "men" in that context is cis-centric. "amab genitals" means nothing, since trans women can have bottom surgery, and intersex people exist in all kinds of physical expressions of sex.

avoid sexualized terms like tits/boobs (use breasts) or dick, balls, etc. those terms take on a context that can make folks feel uncomfortable about their anatomy due to the sexual context. I feel uncomfortable when people try to be inclusive and say shit like "pussy haver" but if I'm reading a medical article about vaginas I'd much rather it be addressed to "people with vaginas" rather than "women"

the more we separate language of body parts from gender identities and actually start speaking frankly and respectfully about anatomy without acting like its some taboo, the better it will be for trans and intersex people. it can help cis people too. you can be a cis woman who doesn't have a womb, you can be a cis man who doesn't have penis or testes. imo this kind of language is inclusive not only for gender non-conforming people but everyone with a physical difference in their sex characteristics, due either to genetics or a lived experience!

[placeofwonder]

Oh, right! It seems like your university president is dealing with it in the best way possible under the circumstances, that's pretty cool.

As for whether they can ban things that the Duden allows, I'm not sure. They have said this about the Rat für deutsche Rechtschreibung:

Be gay do crime but in Barvaria and we're putting these everywhere

[fosteringinsc]

Why You Should Avoid Saying "This is My Foster Child" When Introducing a New Child

“Why Avoid Saying ‘This is My Foster Child’ When Introducing a New Child. Introducing a new child into your life, whether through fostering or adoption, marks a beautiful and transformative experience. It’s a time of growth, love, and the creation of lasting connections. However, the manner in which you introduce your newest family member can significantly impact their sense of belonging and…

[kkochigomi]

the ultimate guide to f***ing nomin

part one | part two

PAIRING: reader x jeno + jaemin

GENRE: smut, angst

SERIES WC: 35k

PART ONE WC: 13.7k

SYNOPSIS: DJ Juliette is over just being a DJ. She misses being a producer and working with artists but no one is biting anymore. She's living from paycheck to paycheck, so when MC receives a pink business card from that company, she should take it. But her fellow SHAWOLs are screaming at her and she knows better. So they send in the heavy arsenal wrapped in head-to-toe Chanel. This woman, named Lindsay Liu, knows she can talk her into it.

WARNINGS: dom!Jeno, switch!Jaemin & mc, PIV, DVP, cunnilingus, thigh humping, spit play, pussyjob, lots of sloppy kissing, deepthroating, rough sex, large... sizes, bisex, very strong language, threesomes, one reference to slight racism/xenophobia (very small inclusion, that character sucks, doesn't go into detail), CONVOLUTED AND CONFUSING AS SHIT, slight language barriers, hella campy/maybe even bad, mc is described as American and having a midsized body, explicit language and descriptions of sex, working at SM Entertainment, mc has a "stage name", Juliette isn't her actual name, let me know what I missed! (had to split this into two parts or Tumblr wouldn't let me post it)

+ dialogue and text messages italicized in their entirety means MC is translating them from Korean!

CHAPTER SIXˋ°•*⁀➷

You couldn’t sleep at all. You wanted desperately to hump your hand, but it seemed too inappropriate and pitiful. So you sulk and stare at the wall, making it so that all three of you are faced away from each other. 

You weren’t seeing things. They definitely left on worse terms than they came. You peaked through your cracked eyelids to avoid an awkward goodbye as they gathered their things at 4 am. They didn’t speak a word to each other, and Jeno left out the door first and closed it behind him. Jaemin stumbles back a bit before sighing in annoyance, rubbing his brow aggressively and swinging the door open.

The door shuts softly as you sit up from your bed. 

What the fuck were you going to do? What were you going to prioritize? All you know for certain is that you have work tomorrow, and that’s not even confirmed. You reflect over everything the guys told you, recalling what you said right after grabbing beer from your fridge. 

“I think I’m gonna quit, this is just too much.” You don’t even try to conceal your exhaustion. You felt less bad about exposing your true thoughts after all three of you took turns trauma dumping. “I don’t care if I have to sue or who I have to sue… I just can’t do it anymore.”

“Absolutely not. I just met you and I can already tell you’re reckless. You’re choosing to possibly lose a lot of money when you can just stay and save up.” Jeno gestured at you with the beer before cracking it open and tipping it back.

Your grip tightened around your can as you resist the urge to glare at Jeno. “You say that as if you weren’t the one to push him to the ground. And money isn’t worth this. This… this is gross. And Lindsay is just making things worse.”

“I’ve had to deal with that asshole for a lot longer than you. If that’s how easily you’ll crack, you’ll have a hard time in this industry. There are a million Mr. Myeongs.” He said after wincing and recovering from chugging the beer. “No… you gotta keep that contract intact and rebel. Smartly.” It sounded pointed, that last part. You rolled your eyes. 

“That’s how you get back at them and stop yourself from losing your mind. You have to play the game and get the money and pursue your dreams– er…” Jeno stopped and shrugged. “Pursue a mangled, disfigured version of your dream.” He tipped the beer back again and your eyes flitted away as your mind drifted. You supposed if you were a singer or a dancer, being an idol wouldn’t be your first choice.

Even the next day, heading to work at five-thirty a.m., his words permeate in your mind. Rebel. Smartly.

No manager or Chris messaged you, so you assumed you weren’t fired. You were still on the schedule as well. That doesn’t settle your stomach, though. You take a deep breath, taking a brief moment as you tap your badge against the sensor. You open the door. 

As you make your way down the hall you notice everyone seems to be staring at you. It makes sense, but it doesn’t make you feel any better. You prepare to decompress in the staff room. Take extra long to put your things away. Is that smart enough for you, Jeno?

However, that wasn’t going to happen because there was a huddle in there. As soon as you walk in, everyone stops talking and stares at you. However, what follows isn’t scowls. They are big smiles. 

“Hey! Jeno and Jaemin took you home on Saturday, right?” A female coworker asks. Before you could deny, a male coworker answered for you. 

“I told you they did. I saw them when I went out the back.”

“Oh my gosh!”

“Were they nice?”

“Did you get their numbers?”

“What happened at the party?”

“Guys shut up! Are you and Jeno dating?”

“I’m guessing you’re following the guide.” Another female coworker stops the onslaught with that contribution. You gape at her, thinking she can’t be referring to what you think she is. But you look down and notice your cropped graphic tee and jeans. You bristle, wanting to give her a piece of your mind, but you can’t when you’re not 100% sure if you’re doing it organically. You shut your eyes tight, forcing that entire thought process away. 

“You saw wrong.” You say to the male coworker. “I didn’t leave with them. I took the bus home like I do every day.” You shove your stuff in your locker before slamming the door and turning on your heels to leave, but you stop. You turn back around with one last bit of input. 

“And I’m aware that even people who claim to hate gossip do so anyway, but there’s a limit before you become destructive.”

You let out a long exhale as you make your way to your first session. Before you even get halfway there, someone calls your name. You tighten your fists at your side before you force a smile and turn around. You aren’t surprised to see Chris, but you are a little fearful.

What is surprising is that Chris offers to take you away from the building to a nearby bistro during your break. He picks something from the menu for you, insisting that you need to try it. You push past the gall of this man to just get through whatever this is. You sit at a small table with him, watching impatiently as he immediately digs in. Once he gets his craving quelled, he finally gets on with it. 

“So we spoke with Myeong Dongkyu…”

Your chest tightens unexpectedly. Are you really dreading this? This is what you wanted, right? Images of Saturday night flash through your mind. You’re by no means a virgin, but you’ve never felt this way about any man. It’s like being a teenager again times ten. More than that, you dread not being able to hang out with Yizhuo in person anymore. 

And it pains you to say it, but the money is nice. Even if you’re not being paid as much as Rouge or any other experienced producer. You’re playing right into their hand. 

“And we came to a decision after much deliberation. Myeong Dongkyu apologizes and has decided to retire.”

Your eyes widen before you look up from your sandwich. Chris seems to pat his own back in response to your shock. 

“Yup! If you ever have problems with any A&R Managers, please never hesitate to speak with me about it.” Chris smiles. You smile back.

As if. 

🥀 𐮙 🐻ˋ°•*⁀➷

Any off time you have is spent on your phone. Smartly. 

Liu Betting. 

Just as Jeno said, there was a company none of the articles on Lindsay mentioned. Maybe it was too new or too sneaky.

“Sports betting is incredibly regulated and you get taxed. Plus, Lindsay hates sports. What she loves, though, are idols. Though I doubt she’s ever even listened to the music, she knew idols more than anyone else. So not only could she do music betting, she could barter off her intel for money or something else she wants from them. Then she got the website made and got any rich person that would listen to buy in.”

What Jeno didn’t mention was the sheer amount of categories. Streams, album sales, photocard rarity (whatever that means), member popularity, the list goes on. 

Under streams and album sales, you see that dearALICE is doing fine. But you assume not good enough to win Lindsay her bet. So she tinkered with things behind the scenes. Convinced SM to consider cheap, desperate labor. That’s what you assume. You know it’s stupid to ask, but did she ever even think your production was good?

You close the site, feeling sick from the grossness of it all. You immediately click on one of Lindsay many messages, planning to go do what you should have done a long time ago. Before you can click on her contact to block her, a message stops you in your tracks. 

Lindsay I see you’ve started seeking Nomin out ;) I know they can be a little difficult, so I gave you a few more tips

Lindsay you guys*

Something else that is overdue is showing Jeno and Jaemin these dehumanizing ‘tips’. You go straight to the app to do just that. You screenshot the initial tips before searching for the new ones.

Lindsay Liu꒰੭

Tip Four: - I’m hearing you guys I’m hearing you! I never said it would be easy! You can’t force them, and I don’t condone any of you guys being aggressive. But I’m hearing the same thing from all of you. Jaemin is an angel and Jeno is his guard dog. Well, that’s my fourth tip. You have to get through Jeno to get anything started. He’s all bark, no bite. Trust me, I know.

That ending boils your blood. You can’t believe it took you this long to see how horrible she is when she’s this brazen.

Tip Five: - Reveal your freaky side organically. Don’t come out immediately talking about your porn addiction or how often you flick the bean. Maybe wait ‘til all three of you are drunk and make out with someone else. Maybe… another girl? Make them think their attraction to you is their idea. Tip Six: - Getting to first base with Jaemin is easy. Doesn’t really mean anything. If you kiss Jeno? You’re in. But you’re not entirely done. Push and pull, guys. Make sure they miss you. Nothing wrong with being easy, that’s just going after what you want. But you want them to be loyal to you. This is a race and a competition. The first to get Nomin to find you irresistible, wins! :D

While you’re grimacing at the screen, a text from NingNing appears at the top of your screen. 

NingNing okay yeah she’s really weird.

yeah…. we have a lot to catch up on lol

NingNing oh??? Are you down to post it in the 00-04z gc?

not yet…

Unfortunately you don’t trust telling anything to that group chat after seeing yet another text Lindsay sent. 

Lindsay You’re going on vacation this Dec? I might come! Also it seems like Jaemin likes you >_>

There’s a mole.

🥀 𐮙 🐻ˋ°•*⁀➷

Jaemin Can we come over at 4pm?

You were initially confused why they were coming to your cramped apartment again, but then you realize it’s one of the few places they can go to get away. You don’t know why they don’t have other idol friends who they can turn to, but you don’t pry.

When you invite them in, you notice that Jeno is still cagey. He barely greets you as he comes in. Jaemin, however, pulls you into a tight hug that has a smile tugging at your lips. He gives you one last squeeze before he makes his way in. The two of them seemed to have resolved whatever they were going through last time. Both of them settle onto the folded up futon, waiting for you to shut the door and settle back in. 

As you sit on your bed, Jeno immediately gets into it. 

“Why didn’t you tell us about this on Saturday?” Jeno wastes no time grilling you, not that you’re surprised. 

“I was thinking about a lot of other things that day. To be honest I don’t go into that app often. You guys know this. Well,” you nod your head at Jeno, “I guess you wouldn’t know, but Jaemin does. If you’re worried about me changing things about myself to match the tips, I suspect she made these just to send a message to me. I already dressed like this. I never intended to…”

The fact that you’re talking about this directly to their faces and that everyone in this room remembers the drunken make out session makes this conversation unbearable.

“Hm. I don’t know. But um… thanks for showing us anyway.” He mumbles the last part. You would be annoyed if one thing wasn’t true. 

“You shouldn’t be thanking me.”

You hear Jaemin chuckle, and you suppose the sight of you and Jeno mirroring each other’s mild annoyance was a bit funny.

“Anyway, we’re here to celebrate–” There’s a knock at the door and Jaemin reacts to it much too fast for comfort. Jeno backs out of the eyeshot from the door and Jaemin thinks fast and conceals his face with an envelope on your counter. Jaemin fumbles blindly for the door and accepts a food delivery for “Kwangseok”.

As soon as the door closes, it’s like nothing confusing had happened. Jeno peels away from the wall and Jaemin puts the envelope back. He presents the bag of hot food with unadulterated glee on his face, like the food will answer every question your expression raises.

Jeno hums amusedly to your left and you look at him. He grins to himself before glancing at you and raising his eyebrows.

“Mr. Myeong was fired.” He reveals as he grins wider. Your confusion increases before excitement takes its place and stretches your own lips into a smile. 

“No way…” You say, dumbfounded as you let yourself be seated by Jaemin as Jeno takes the bag and unpacks the food.

“Yes way!” Jaemin answers enthusiastically before settling next to you on the folded up futon. “Our manager decided he wasn’t angry after the outcome and told us all about the spectacle.”

You only had a measly fold out table, so the three of you had to eat each dish in shifts. It felt like fine dining with the news you were learning. 

“He said Mr. Myeong was shouting at everyone in the room, throwing things, cursing up a storm and then Chris walked in.” Jaemin takes another bite of his veggie tempura as he and Jeno look at each other mischievously. 

“And then the CEOs walked in.” They announce at the same time before falling into hysterics. You frantically look between them in excitement. 

“What?!”

“H… He started apologizing and got on his knees. Mr. Jang didn’t even curse him out, he just laughed at him–” Jeno can barely catch his breath. 

“– And Mr. Jang just said–” Jaemin starts, excited to get to what seems to be their favorite part. 

“‘You’re not even that high up at the company, why are you acting like this?’” They speak in unison again, Jaemin petering out sooner than Jeno as the laughter overtakes him. You can’t help laughing, yourself, tears pricking at your eyes and stomach aching. Jaemin’s legs spread wide until they’re firm against yours. Jeno’s hand on your shoulder as he tries to recover allows you no time to recover. The lust is numbing, the amusement is long gone as your mind is locked in to imagining them touching you more.

Unfortunately, the two couldn’t get drunk this time, and you didn’t want to drink alone. That means you wouldn’t have the courage to try. Especially after showing them what Lindsay’s been up to. 

Long after the three of you had settled down, Jeno is laser focused on your attire. 

“... You sure you’re not following the guide?”

You can’t help it. Every time your clothes are mentioned, you look at them as if anything other than what you put on would be there. You look at him incredulously, unable to immediately defend yourself with cheeks full of rice cakes. Jeno pops one in his own mouth before pointing at you with his chopsticks, not even bothering to look at your face. 

“Now that I think about it… it makes too much sense.”

“Bro, she said Lindsay made it like that to target her specifically.” Jaemin moves you back with his arm to look directly at Jeno. You tilt your head up to speak but it ends up gargled. You frustratedly try to get your mouth clear faster. 

“So you don’t want to fuck us?” Jeno is looking at you now. You expect to see annoyance or disdain on his face, but he’s instead looking at you like he’s anticipating an answer. An answer he already knows. You finally swallow the food as you stare back, dumbly. 

“She never said that.” Jaemin says, pulling the arm away that you forgot was there. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips as you tear your eyes away. 

“Me not answering isn’t confirming or denying, I just refuse to play your games.” You start, shooting him a glare. “But why are you focusing on me? I just came here to produce and get paid well. That’s all! I didn’t know Lindsay would be this screwed up!”

Jeno holds your gaze for an agonizing amount of time before finally relenting. “I guess you’re right. We should be focusing on Lindsay.” Jeno is very reluctant to agree with you.

“Or we could just forget about it.” Jaemin interjects. 

“Are you saying that because you don’t want us to waste anymore time on a nut job or because you want to protect her from consequences?” The way Jaemin tensed at the phrase ‘nut job’ was all Jeno needed to see. Jeno stands abruptly from the futon. 

“Whatever, man. She’s gonna get what's coming to her sooner or later. It’s not a matter of who, it’s a matter of when. Besides, I bet she wants to get her revenge as well.”

There’s only one she that would make sense here. You attempt to simultaneously scold Jeno and comfort Jaemin with your eyes as you look between them. 

“I…” You begin cautiously, pausing longer than you intended. What do you want? Your life previously was saccharine without substance. You were out of school, you didn’t have a schedule, and you did whatever you wanted most of the time. But you couldn’t do much with how little you made. You found yourself feeling numb most days. Not happy, but not upset. Maybe that’s why you signed that stupid contract.

Here, you have a lot to be upset about. And the turbulence has been overwhelming. Life here would be perfectly fine in normal circumstances, though.

“I just want to be left alone, okay?” You’re not just saying it to them. You say it with the intention of sending a ripple through the universe to fix all this. The worst part is that Lindsay somehow caught on to the degenerate you are. Was it a guess based off of your favorite otome game, or did she sniff that out somehow as well?

You never joined any kink-positive or BDSM communities because it was too much of a slog to find one. The truth is that you yearn to let your freak flag fly but only attract the most vanilla, self serving men on Earth. But these two, the one whose leg is pressed against yours and the one with that expression that makes your blood boil… if they constantly have threesomes–

“You have to get through to me to “get anything started”, right?”

Jeno pipes up with infuriating timing. Just when you’re imagining being pressed between them, he asks you this? You want to get angry at him but you’re more focused on what’s wrong with you.

“So then help me with Lindsay.”

“I’m not following the guide!” You stand and shout immediately after he speaks, more distressed than angry. “I would never do it, it’s dehumanizing and icky and– just stop saying it!”

You stomp to your bathroom, not caring that you bump his shoulder on the way. You immediately turn on the cold water and put your hands under it. Your body temperature is soaring, the water feels glacial. It’s almost uncomfortable, but it’s working. 

You hear a knock at the door. 

“WHAT?!” You snap unexpectedly. You hear him chuckle behind the door and start to seethe further. 

“Lindsay is breaking the law.”

CHAPTER SEVENˋ°•*⁀➷

As the weather gets colder, your excitement for the ski trip grows. You haven’t been on vacation since you were a child. And you’ve never gone skiing. You’re going to eat shit but you don’t even care. You’re more focused on the luxury ski chalet and a motherfucking break. One of the A&R managers tried to subtly talk you out of calling off for two weeks. If you’re not allowed to break the terms of your contract, you won’t let them do it either. Not even for a second. You’re starting to get what Jeno means. 

He has only emphasized his advice more after you finally caved. 

“I don’t want this to blow up in my face.” You told him the first time the two of you met up at your place. You took the chance to ask why your house and if the paparazzi would start following them at a certain point. He pointed out the obvious, that they can’t get past the gate to get near these complexes. You also learned that there are a lot of producers with home studios here, so celebrities can record in peace. The paparazzi do follow them here, and did publish a story about him and Jaemin releasing a project separate from NCT. Still not ideal, but better.

“You want to know more about Lindsay, you want to be left alone, you don’t want this to blow up in your face. I’m sick of hearing about what you want.” Jeno mutters as he pries his laptop open atop your wobbly fold-up. You look at him, waiting for him to see you questioning his audacity but he never looks back at you.

“Her dad is a billionaire. Not a millionaire, a billionaire. We don’t know the extent of his or her connections or if they have the police on their side–”

“Okay, well, Lindsay’s dad hates her. And so does the general public. And a handful of idols, higher ups at SM, et cetera, et cetera. She’s not as well connected as you think. Also, this wouldn’t be her first run in with the police.”

Finding yourself comfortable with whipping your phone out at work now, you take the opportunity to look into Jeno’s claims. Sure enough, this wouldn’t be her first run in. Or second. Or fourth. She’s been arrested for a DUI, a scam, assaulting someone, and petty theft. You had to read it over and over before you believed it. She just stole makeup at Sephora that she could absolutely afford. Went on record saying she ‘just wanted to try it’. You wish you were surprised or blind sighted. But the red flags were there and you ignored them for SHINee.

An A&R manager, Ms. Alice Lee, bursts through the door of the staff room. You nearly drop your phone at the sound. She smiles smugly at you, eyes then focusing on your phone. You exhale frustratedly as you stuff it in your pocket. Ms. Lee was recently promoted after Mr. Myeong’s departure. Previously one of the people scowling at you for your reputation, she now channels all that malice into micro-management.

“How long is your break for?” She asks with her nasally SoCal affect. You mirror her pinched, snotty expression. You flick away your sleeve dramatically before checking the time. 

“I have five more minutes.” You answer carefully, as if speaking to a child. 

“Good! Then we can have a chat.” You watch in horror as she clacks over to the table and pulls a chair. You expected her to be on her way but now she’s going to use your break time to “chat”? God you hate this place. 

“Yes ma’am.” Your tone is short, a little too frustrated for your liking but you couldn’t catch yourself. 

“A little birdie told me that an idol invited you to go on vacation with them?”

Your stomach drops at the same time her light hearted expression does. The fucking mole. 

“Just ignore them. The idols can be very silly sometimes. I mean, isn’t that just hilarious?” She asks, but doesn’t wait for your confirmation to laugh. She slaps the table as she comes down with a sloping sigh. “I’ll give them a stern talking to.”

“They’re not bothering me.” You respond immediately. “I thought it was a nice gesture–”

“Just! Ignore them.” She interrupts with her brows raised and a small smile. You slide your hand off the table to ball it tight. You grit your teeth, the smile struggling to stay on your face. 

“Don’t scold them.” You ask plainly. “I was never going.”

“Good! Even though… the time you requested off– I hope you don’t mind I checked– aligns with the date they’re going.” She slips her phone from her slacks and opens the app with the schedule on it. “Here. December 14th to the 27th.”

“Yes, that’s correct.” You confirm brazenly. That still doesn’t prove anything. 

“And you do know that it’s outlined in your contract that staff and idols are not to engage in any inappropriate relationships, right? Even if it’s a friendly outing, it’s not organized by the company and it will be unmonitored. It’s too risky. You understand, right?”

“So, what? Do you want me to cancel my requested days off?”

“Just to be safe.” She speaks like she’s doing you a huge favor. “Oh! and you can always schedule them to a different date!”

The smile officially dissipates and you have no intention of bringing it back. You glance at your watch, bristling even more at the fact that your break was over. You shoot up from the table, struggling to contain your anger.

“I already uprooted here to help you guys out–”

“Excuse me?” Her true self comes out in the form of complete and utter contempt. She joins you in standing. “Helped us? I’m sorry, was you helping us accepting a job when you were barely getting work.”

Your heart constricts with exasperation as you gape at the woman. For her to say it so plainly feels like a slap in the face.

“No. Me helping you was filling in for DJ Rouge after he realized his worth and left your sorry asses.” You hold your glare, watching her build up to her tantrum before storming past her. 

“Hey! Have you lost your fucking mind.” She shouts after you, screaming and following you halfway to your next session. Everyone looks on in shock and annoyance at you, whispering not-so-quietly about how you’re already bumping heads with Mr. Myeong’s replacement.

Jay Park⓪② Heol…

Yoon Keeho⓪① I’ll say it. She kind of sounds like a cunt. 

She IS a cunt

Lee Donghyuck⓪⓪ Make your own fckn group chat if you’re gonna speak English

Zhou Xinyu⓪② ugh… we should party that stress off, girl! And you should wear something sexy when we do

Yoon Sangah⓪② I’m down. Karaoke?

Oh Haewon⓪③ How about we go to Lindsay’s place? She has a karaoke machine.

Ning Yizhuo⓪② NO!

Lee Jeno⓪⓪ HELL no

we can’t

Oh Haewon⓪③ … Why not?

Your gut is screaming at you. It would be stupid to ignore it after all you’ve put yourself through, but it feels risky to accuse her with so little to go off of.

she’s not even in this country lol

Oh Haewon⓪③ So? I have a key to this mansion.

Oh god…

Nakamura Kazuha⓪③ What?! 

Oh Haewon⓪③ Ya, She said I can go and do whatever I want, the help would cater to us

Nakamura Kazuha⓪③ no way… lucky!

Yoon Sanha⓪⓪ she gave you a key?!?

Han Chowon⓪② you’re lying…

Baek Jiheon⓪③ KYAAAA I’VE NEVER BEEN TO HER MANSION!

Han Jisung⓪⓪ oh I’m am going to get fucked up

You switch to imessage frantically. 

guys, it’s Haewon. She’s got to be the mole, right?

NingNing Lindsay told me herself that she only had one extra key made

NingNing But I guess she is a bit of a liar… you don’t have to explain it again

Jaemin I think it’s very possible

Asshole oh yeah, it’s definitely her

Asshole Lindsay just texted me to get over my grudge. She must have texted her about me saying hell no to going to a crazy person’s mansion

Haewon doesn’t know, but she ignited a fire underneath Jeno. He barely speaks when he comes in now, just chews on the inside of his cheek while setting up. It’s awkward, but only for a moment. 

“D’you want to know what she did?” He snaps as if he’s been resisting the urge. You agree, but his stories usually just make you sad. Why won’t she just go away? Become interested in J-pop or C-pop idols?

“Yeah…” He laughs indignantly. “I’m a guard dog. But I’m not the problem. Jaemin is horny is shit but gets infatuated and trusts too easily. It’s not a good combination. But she noticed she’d get more intel if she pretended to like him.”

Your eyebrows pinch as a new sensation runs through you. Your heart aches for Jaemin, yes, but…

“What did she do?” You have an inkling, but you’re suddenly restless. 

“They would go on dates, kiss, hold hands, everything a couple would do. She would make sure he was separated from me as much as possible so I couldn’t talk sense into him. One day I went to his apartment and he had it decorated with rose petals and candles, had music playing. He told me I needed to leave because Lindsay would be there soon. It was their anniversary or some shit. I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was the day the article came out.”

You cover your mouth when you look at him, but it’s not for the reasons you usually do. Disbelief was the first thing you felt, but that feeling was intensifying. Like you wanted to scream. Throw up?

“We talked about this, but it’s not like we needed to. It was everywhere, but he was too busy doing all of that to know. I stayed as long as I could. Mostly because I wanted to confront her and make her tell him. But also to finally talk to him myself. It turned into a heated argument. It was my fault, I refused to tell him because I didn’t want to hurt him but I took it too far. I tore down the banner he put up. It felt right at the time, he was embarrassing himself. I still refused to leave and he started throwing things. He kept getting hysterical because time kept passing and Lindsay was nowhere to be seen. He just channeled that anger at me. We fought.”

You run your hands over your jeans, trying to focus on the fabric rubbing against your palms. Why couldn’t you calm down?

“I-I’m sorry– are you guys… together?” It wasn’t meant to be the first thought you vocalized but your brain screamed for the verification. Jeno looks at you, suspicious as always. He just rolls his eyes and shakes his head. 

“It’s not like that. We’re… he’s my soulmate but I don’t… have those feelings. Like, at all.” His voice is quiet, it’s been quiet for a while now. The anger has dissipated in favor of something more tender. You guys have officially swapped places. You fist your jeans. 

“Still! Did she really have to get in between you guys for her stupid fucking plan? It’s so stupid! I don’t even know if there’s been a difference!”

“There has.” He says regrettably. “I don’t know if the quality’s better, but I do know that it’s more productive. Songs are being pumped out faster and regardless of that, SM has more creative control without needing to listen to the producer’s input. Less friction equals even faster production.”

You shoot up from the futon, you don’t know why. You can’t listen to this. You ball your shaking hands. Why are you this angry?

“Did she ever come?” You swing around to look at him, stupidly hopeful. He looks up at you, his face all the confirmation you need.

You remember the day that article dropped. You weren’t even in the fandom by then, but you heard about Heechul cheating on his girlfriend of one year with a billionaire heiress with pictures to boot. So many pictures… pictures of those two sucking face, pictures of both Heechul and Momo crying during their activities. And now you’ve learned there was a whole other layer of cruelty. Not only did Lindsay absolutely know about their public relationship, but she broke Jaemin’s heart in the same instance.

That’s all you can think about as you clutch your binder to your chest is how long this has gone on. That was in 2021. How the hell did that relationship last? 

There is another presentation in the theater today, and you brought the bare minimum. You’re prepared to ask one surface level question so they can’t bitch at you in good faith. Ironically, they’re presenting about the SM formula and why their style is so important to their music. You know it’s not pointed at you this time because you relented a long time ago. They win, your dream is theirs now.

You settle in just before the presentation started so you had a choice in who you were sitting next to– nobody. You zone out, catching crumbs of information. They brought a few SM senior idols on stage and played a few songs. 

“Okay, now feel free to ask questions! A staff member will be around with a mic.” 

You sit up, shaking away the drowsiness. You watch as she makes her way up the hall, handing to mic to different try-hards that judge you for not being a proud kiss ass. Kang Seojin cracks open his thousand-page encyclopedia and asks a question that wows the presenter. Wu Zixin submits an entry to the colon-cleaning olympics by framing his adoration for SM in a question. Two men who openly gossip about you with the intention of you hearing it. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, waiting for her to get closer to the back so you can get this over with. Finally, you’re able to flag her down and ask your question that has the presenter stammering. 

“Is that it?” He laughs, igniting laughter all around the room. You feign franticness and flip through your binder. 

“I could ask another if you’d like!” You copy the tone of your coworkers, hoping you sound eager to please. 

“No, no. That’s fine. Key, would you like to answer?” 

Key smiles and kicks his leg over the other before raising the mic. Your heart pulses at the sight of him. It’s your first time seeing him in person.

“Of course.” He says your name to confirm he’s got it right. You stammer, looking around like you’re looking for clarification. Key knows your name? It is such a Lindsay move to lie about everything else but this. You nod before confirming into the mic. He answers your simple question and all of a sudden you’re embarrassed at the simplicity of it. Because of that, the interaction is brief, applause rings out around you and you sit down in shock. 

The rest of the presentation is a blur. You’re focused on it ending so you can flag him down. You have to know if it’s real. Did he really listen to your old demos?

Could he help?

The minute the presenter thanks everyone for listening, you’re up out of your chair. You try to look casual as you speed toward the side of the stage Key is leaving at. 

“Hey!” You say excitedly. He turns around, confused initially before a look of realization washes over him. This is your first time seeing him up close. You clutch your binder to your chest again, except now you probably look like a silly school girl. 

“Hey! I bet you’re confused about why I know your name.” He laughs awkwardly and you nod like an idiot, hoping you’ll get the information you seek. 

“Well, I bet you know who Lindsay is.” Key’s voice is light as he begins his explanation, not knowing your world just tipped off its axis. He’s heard it.

“You listened to Mark My Words?”

The silence that lingers is excruciating as he looks at you blankly. Key gives you a confused look that is warped into a sinister, mocking expression by your mind. He laughs, and it feels like a knife in your gut. 

“To what?”

You stammer again, hoping to clarify and keep your sanity. He did listen to it, he just doesn’t remember the name. 

“Nah… Lindsay just told me you were a big fan. And I hear that you’re… a troublemaker. You made Mr. Myeong quit? He’s been here since I was a trainee.” 

His tone is indisputable. He’s looking down on you. He views you the same as all your coworkers view you.

The switch has been completed. Jeno seems to have gotten what was bothering him off his chest with the borderline therapy sessions, and you’re now silent. But he prods at you, waving his hand in front of your face and calling out to you like you’re blind or deaf. You don’t respond though. 

“Ooookay? Well I just learned a bombshell–”

“We’re going to that bitch’s house.” You snap, breaking your silence. After meeting Key, you checked your texts from Lindsay. She had given up at some point, but you notice she’s gotten less cheery. Her messages are short and curt. Then there’s a gap where she doesn’t text. Then you see it.

Lindsay fine

Lindsay this is ideal, thank GOD

Lindsay I won’t text you anymore, in fact, if you’re reading this you’re blocked. you are one of the most frustrating people I’ve had to deal with. you americans are so fucking lazy and such delicate snowflakes that you can’t handle any sort of conflict or minor critique. you’re gonna quit because your boss hurt your feewings ;((? grow the fuck up. you’re getting paid more than you ever would have without my help. without me, you would have been locked in the lower class, dying before you manage to crawl out like so many of you do. you can keep bitching and crying but just know we’re all laughing at you. ALL of us. but just know that if you try to fuck around you will learn the hard way to keep your fucking head down and work.

Hot tears gush from your eyes from sheer frustration and awe. You ball your fist tight until they start to ache. 

“We’re going to that bitches house and we’re going to fuck shit up.” You grit your teeth in an attempt to contain the unbridled anger about to overcome you. Your lip quivers.

“What? What are you saying? Are you okay?”

… delicate snowflakes…

… so many of you do…

… can’t handle…

… without me…

…ALL of us.

keep your 

fucking head down 

and 

work.

Your legs move on their own as you march over to your cabinet and swing it open. You swipe out its contents onto the counter and floor, a cacophony of glass crashing fills the room. Jeno shoots to his feet, the sound like a trigger. You grab more glasses and launch them at the wall with a shriek. Jeno hurriedly gathers your arms and you thrash to get away from him. He doesn’t know why he says it, he doesn’t know what to say. 

“Stop! What is your problem?!”

“If you’re just going to scold me like everyone else, get the fuck out!” The words deflate along with the anger as exhaustion overtakes it. What is your problem? 

“You did more! You shoved him to the ground, I…” Your head droops, your attempts to tear away from him dwindling in power as you pathetically flail. “Why won’t you just leave me alone?” You say it to everyone. Why couldn’t they have found another failing, pathetic producer to torture. Why did Lindsay have to wring out every drop of fight you had in you.

 “Let me go!” You look up, revealing your face wrecked with tears. 

Jeno doesn’t know why this happens. He always thought he was broken. He was surrounded by so many beautiful people for so much of his life, but he never felt how his peers did. When said beautiful people would confess to him, he doesn’t know why he didn’t feel anything. When he caved and finally accepted one, he didn’t understand why everyone else was distraught by her cheating instead of him. He jokes that the wires got crossed somehow, and now he does stupid shit like this. The stupid shit that kept Lindsay in his bed for so long.

“Let me go!” You scream and he does. But only in favor of grabbing your face and mashing his lips to yours. It’s finally peaceful for a moment. Neither of you even react to a neighbor banging on your door. Your eyes flutter closed. You grab both his wrists, your lips moving on their own. You’re both sucking in large gusts of air through your nose as you intensify the kiss. Your legs stumble backward until your back hits the cabinet. The knob smacked against your back, a hollow ache spreading throughout. But you ignore it as his hands push up toward your hair. His palms cup your ears as his fingers tangle in the messy nest atop your head. Your head swims as the muffled sounds of panting and gasping fills the serene air. 

His tongue pushing past your lips earns him a salacious moan as you move your hands to his neck to pull him closer. You had every intention to get drunk when you got home, but this is so much better. The delicious head rush you feel as his lips meld against yours is heavenly. For a moment this feels like heaven. The sickly lights are more like a heavenly glow in the moment, his retrained moans are a chorus of angels.

When he shoves his knee between your legs you gasp and pull away. The sensation is so strong it scares you. You watch each other carefully with hooded eyes as you cautiously grind on his thigh. Your legs tingle so intensely you release a shuddering breath. You fist his shirt as you begin humping his legs feverishly, a bomb of pleasure exploding all over you. You throw your head back, unabashed moans spilling from your swollen lips. Your legs shake so violently, the only thing keeping you upright is his leg shoved into your cunt. Jeno leans forward and cages you in with his arms. His eyes are hungry as he watches your face intently. You roll your hips over his leg desperately. Jolts of pleasure shoot up your legs. The sensation is too strong but too perfect. You want this to never end. The urge to edge yourself and prolong the pleasure and to get to your climax already are waging war in your mind.

He shoves his leg further, watching you unravel as lust tints his puppy-like dark brown eyes black. The look on his face is so intense it sends shock waves through you. His black hair hangs forward, allowing you to see his thick brows knitted together in utter focus. The trembling hits a crescendo and you can barely keep your eyes on him or your head straight. You tug him forward by his shirt as your moans get more whiny. 

He leans forward with his lips coasting your ear and making your shiver. 

“Do it.” He says encouragingly, almost as if to challenge you. You gasp sharply and let go of his shirt. You almost fall back but grasp his face. You both look each other in the eyes as you come undone. Your vision whites out as you toss your head back, a guttural moan erupting from your chest. You unintentionally claw at the skin on his neck and jaw as the orgasm leaves your ears ringing. When you finally come to, your breathing is reduced to brief huffs. The pleasure is still burning hot as your hips jerk against his thigh. 

Minutes go by with you slack-jawed with your head against his chest. He moves his leg away finally and you whimper, still craving the friction. The two of you finally pull away and you feel the uncomfortable wetness against your core and upper thighs. You look first at the wet spot on your khakis, then the wet spot on his jeans where you had been humping him like a dog. Lastly, you see the angry red scratches on his face and neck. All you can do is gape, humiliated at how much you lost control. You look away and swallow, failing to placate your dry throat. 

“I’m sorry.”

You both say at the same time. One looks at the other in confusion, asking what they could be sorry for. You watch as a tiny bead of blood forms at one of the scratches. 

“I-I’ll get something for your neck.” You say before rushing toward the bathroom. Jeno grabs your arm and pulls you back to face him. The look on his face is gravely serious, and you feel a pit in your stomach. 

“Don’t ever let her get you like that.” He says weakly before looking away.

CHAPTER EIGHTˋ°•*⁀➷

“I see you still haven’t changed your vacation days.”

You swirl the punch in your cup as you watch the chaos unfold before you. The music is deafening, groups of guys are standing on Lindsay’s dining room table and shouting. There’s an orgy waiting to happen moving to a bedroom. Someone broke her glass coffee table and someone else managed to swing from the chandelier. 

Haewon is pacing, looking around in horror as she phones someone. You smile to yourself.

Yesterday, Ms. Lee was tapping her foot impatiently waiting to hear why your vacation days were still the same. 

“My mother is sick.” You lie, picking at your salad. 

“Oh yeah? Did she schedule her sickness for December 14th?”

“No but her surgery is scheduled for December 18th and no one will be there to help her recover. Would you like to speak on the phone with her and grill her on why her surgery date is so convenient?” You slam the lid over your food and openly challenge your superior. She grits her teeth. 

“If I find out you went on that goddamn trip you’ll have hell to pay.” She spins and stomps away. 

“You have a nice day as well! Thanks for wishing my mom well, too!”

She slams the door and you feel the bitterness fester.

It’s Saturday, the day you all agreed to go to Lindsay’s. Lindsay, who claimed to block you, texted you to remind you not to fuck around. It was too late. 

Your eyes follow Haewon as she spots something and marches toward it. The wall half obscures her laying into someone. Curious, you follow her until Jeno is unobscured, yelling back at Haewon. Haewon reaches toward him and you rush over to pull her away. 

“What the hell is going on?!” You scream, looking solely at her. 

“Of course you’re defending him! You two are ungrateful assholes!” She cries out, eyes welling with tears. 

“Ungrateful?” Jeno immediately clocks your body language after you say that and moves to holding you back. “Ungrateful how?”

“You wouldn’t even be here without her! You would still be broke and miserable!” She shouts, clenching her eyes shut. You slip from Jeno’s grasp for a split second and your hand thunders against Haewon’s cheek. Jeno pulls you back even further, screaming at you to cut it out. You shout obscenities at her that you’re not even sure she understands as Jeno hauls you, kicking and screaming, into a bedroom. He slams the door shut and immediately shushes your protests.

“What’re you doing? You’re gonna ruin it!” Jeno urges, restraining your flailing arms to your sides. You calm a little, realizing what he means. 

“Whatever. She’ll be alright.” You brush him off and he pinches his nose bridge. “It was just a little slap! She’ll shake it off.”

“I’m gonna go back out there, you stay here since you can’t be trusted.” He mutters, keeping his eye on you as he walks back out the door. You curse him and make faces as soon as he leaves. You sit on the bed, not entirely upset that you’ve been banned from leaving. The music was starting to give you a headache, and though it was your doing, the amount of people there was overwhelming. You lie back, relishing in the softness of the bed. Maybe you should steal the mattress or something. 

You quickly lean forward as the door opens, a shocked Jaemin in the doorway. 

“Oh, sorry. I’m looking for the bathroom but I’ve never been here before.” Jaemin remarks bitterly. You immediately stand up, sensing something is wrong. 

“No, it’s okay. I can show you to the bathroom.” You cup his shoulder, your delicate tone ruined by the volume you have to speak at with the door open. He shakes his head and closes the door. 

“No, I just wanted a moment to think.”

“I feel you, come sit down.” You guide him to the bed, noting the weary look in his eyes. “This was a bad idea to come here, wasn’t it.”

“No. I actually just got done talking to Heechul outside. He lifted the screenshot detection and I got the pics. So that’s one objective down.” Jaemin takes out your phone from his pocket, showing you what he got as evidence.

The “bombshell” that Jeno didn’t get the chance to tell you was that Heechul, the creator of SCR, was fucked over by Lindsay during that debacle. In an attempt to save face after being called a homewrecker all around the world and to make good with Jaemin, she lied. She spoke to the press dressed in black and crying saying that she was drunk that night and that she’s always been a big Super Junior fan. Told them she wasn’t thinking straight and just adored him as an idol so much. Insinuating that she was taken advantage of one or two ways that night. It wasn’t as big as the initial scandal, but it was enough to do damage to Heechul.

Jeno reached out to Heechul, assuming he wanted to either clear that blemish on his reputation or get back at her at the very least. It turns out neither party was drunk. He also doubles as another testimonial. The screenshots are damning, most of them from the Gossip Girls group chat. Her full name being assigned to each message wasn’t enough, but good thing she would constantly send pictures of herself you couldn’t find anywhere else.

Jeno comes back in, eyes wide. That means he also has something to show for. He shuts the door and locks it.

“Haewon already called Lindsay about what was happening and Lindsay barely cared. She was just annoyed with Haewon and told her to fix it somehow. She of course blamed it on me, but that didn’t help since she had the key. So I was able to convince her to lie to save face. It worked.” A smile spreads on Jeno’s face so wide, wider than you’ve ever seen him smile.

“Lindsay put in a police report. She’s flying back to Korea.”

You feel Jaemin stiffen beside you and you rub his back. Jeno rushes over and pulls Jaemin up off the bed and into a bear hug. He reaches for you and you hesitantly stand to join them. You give a bewildered look to Jeno as he pulls you in. 

“Be careful.” Jaemin says, voice strained by the strength of Jeno’s hold. “Whenever he feels a really strong emotion he–”

“Hey!” Jeno pulls away, almost looking betrayed as he gawks at Jaemin. Jaemin just smirks back mischievously.

“He might kiss and/or fuck you.” Jaemin rushes out and Jeno shoves him playfully. 

“I do n…” He trails off when he realizes he can’t lie. Not after he proved this to be true that night. Then you both lock eyes. He wants you not to connect the dots and you don’t want Jaemin to know. The silence, however, is too long. 

“What is going on? Why are you two looking at each other like that?”

But you can’t tear your eyes away from the lust slowly consuming his. He feels his groin start to ache and he wants to stop himself. It’s not too late! He can leave the room and prevent this from happening. Jaemin is the first one to move, though. 

“Ah. It’s happening. Just get it over with.” He places his hands on your backs and pushes you closer. He tells the two of you to kiss like he’s playing with dolls. “Go ahead. Kissy kissy.”

“W-what!” You squeak, peering over at Jaemin while moving as little as possible. You can smell Jeno from this distance. His cologne is utterly intoxicating. The moment you turn back, nearly brushing his nose with yours, Jeno closes the distance. Losing the fight. 

You moan in surprise, hips bucking into his. His slutty tongue licks into your mouth right away, muffling your pitiful moans. You feel a hand on your ass and you flinch slightly. How such a small touch feels so good, you’ll never understand. You felt like you were in heat while kissing them individually, but with Jeno’s lips commingling with yours and Jaemin’s ghosting behind your ear, you feel like a shaken up soda can. 

“We can finally finish what we started.” Jaemin whispers into your ear before pressing his lips against it, softly. Both their lips are cushiony soft as they glide over different parts of your body. Jeno grabs a handful of your breast and squeezes harshly. Your jaw drops open and he takes the opportunity to suck on your tongue. Jaemin finds your sweet spot and you tell him by reaching over to cup his waist with a gasp. You feel him smile against your skin before sucking against the spot.

You’re useless at this point, craning your head back as moans leap from your throat. Jeno’s lips move lower, trailing down your jaw to your neck to your chest. You thread your fingers through his hair, urging him lower. He pulls your hands away, a scolding gaze thrown your way. Jaemin tsks to your right. 

“Be a good girl, hm?” His hot breath fans against your cheek. “Be patient.” He whispers. His hand snakes up to your neck, giving it a light squeeze. Your eyes roll back and he squeezes harder with a chuckle. 

“You like that?”

“She likes that.” Jeno growls, watching you closely. His tongue lulls out of his mouth, running over your clothed nipple. You attempt to throw your head back but you can’t in Jaemin’s grip. Jeno flicks the hardened, sensitive bud, his eyes intense. Jaemin’s hand slips up further to cup your jaw, forcing you to face him. He makes quick work of kissing you sloppily. Licking your bottom lip into his mouth and sucking on it. Your lips roll over each other, wet tongues laving messily. Jaemin is much nastier and looser than Jeno, who feels more controlled. Even as his tongue creates a wet spot over both your nipples. Each time he nips at you, you moan into Jaemin’s mouth. Jaemin mirrors every moan, like he’s feeling just as much pleasure.

You squeeze your thighs together desperately, whimpering in need. Jeno hums against your nipple. He reaches down and cruelly spreads them apart. You squeeze Jeno’s shoulder in frustration. He rises, hand on your throat.

“Can’t be patient, huh?” His eyes are fierce as he squeezes until your brain feels fuzzy. “Open your fucking mouth.” 

Your mouth drops open, your tongue lolling forward with drool dripping from the tip. He leans in, spitting onto your tongue. Before you can react, Jaemin wraps his hand around Jeno’s. Your face feels hotter, you blink slowly. Jaemin dives forward and sucks the spit off your tongue. You let out a strangled moan, going to kiss back until he pulls away again and spits on your tongue. This time Jeno dives in, kissing you feverishly. When he pulls away, there are thick strings of saliva drooping between you two. They take turns spitting into your mouth and on your face, Jeno keeping his other hand on your thigh to keep you from any semblance of friction. Jeno finally releases you and you gasp for air, only for Jaemin to steal it. He tugs your head back by your hair and initiates the filthiest kiss of the night. 

Jeno watches your tongues fight as he unbuckles his jeans. He frees himself and strokes lazily, biting his lip when Jaemin tongue kisses your chin. He looks down at your now ruined shirt with your poor nipples poking through. You don’t even notice him approaching, not when Jaemin is squeezing your upper thigh. He squeezes again and again until he reaches your soaked mound under your skirt. You hum pleasantly at the sensation. The serenity is brief when Jeno slips his hand under your shirt and cups your breast. You inhale shakily, eyes wide open as you grip Jaemin’s forearm for dear life. The dream that has been the source of your pleasure every night is suddenly so vivid. You go still, legs locking up around Jaemin’s hand. It’s all too sudden, the speed at which it hits you. Your orgasm crashes over you and it’s debilitating. You lock your thighs around Jaemin’s hand. The sensation just started and it’s already about to end. 

“N-no!” You yelp, cut short by a downright despondent moan as you gush through your underwear. You don’t want it to end, you really don’t, but the waves of fire subside against your will. Left in its wake, your legs turn to jelly and you collapse to your knees. You clench your eyes shut, wanting to relive the dream being so vivid after so long. Jeno cupping your chin makes you open them. A long, stiff rod hangs over your face, sticking straight out with heat radiating from it. 

“Happy you got to cum early? Open up.” Jeno pushes your cheeks in with his fingers, forcing your mouth open. Jaemin grabs your hair to crane your head back while Jeno lines his cock up with your mouth. 

As soon as his smooth tip hits your tongue, Jaemin is shoving you forward with a “good girl.”

Jaemin bobs your head over Jeno's cock. If you had a gag reflex, you’d be in big trouble. Jaemin has your face shoved against Jeno’s firm torso, pressed flat and making it hard to breathe. You wouldn’t have it any other way. The moment you saw his cock, you knew it was all you wanted to taste and smell until your body gave out. Jeno’s slutty moans harmonize with Jaemin’s praise and it has arousal dripping down your thigh.

“Fuck you suck good cock.” Jaemin coos as he pulls you back so you can gasp for air.

“She was fucking made to suck cock.” Jeno adds, adding his own hand to your hair and pulling you back on. Long and thick. Your lips are stretched wide to compensate him. Jeno’s moans are poorly restrained, breaking free each time your tongue stretches lower and laves over his ball sack. Jaemin leans forward to capture his lips and swallow his moans.

His hands move from your hair to Jaemin’s, forcing him to his knees. Jaemin’s hand falls away from your hair and you take the break to breathe and observe the shifted dynamic. The occasional flash of lightning from the window mixes with the warm light seeping under the door. It illuminates his wide, glassy eyes. So wide, you’ve never seen him look like this. It’s his turn to be used like a fleshlight as Jeno’s fist tightens in his hair and shoves his forward. Poor Jaemin has a gag reflex, gagging and gargling around Jeno’s cock. Jeno ignores his struggles, relentless as he keeps his cock shoved deep down his throat. Jaemin never lets his big eyes leave Jeno. 

You can’t help but stroke his head and coo. He’s focused and damn is he hardworking. You’re impressed and proud, and suddenly you understand how he felt earlier. 

“Good boy.” You coo before kissing and licking at his jaw and ear. You’re hyper focused on him until Jeno takes you by the hair and shoves your head into his crotch. Your lips squish against his balls and your cheek is pressed into Jaemin who’s finally had enough. He breaks away, sputtering and coughing. Jeno leans over slightly to slap Jaemin across the face. He slaps and slaps until Jaemin’s slobber-ridden face is splotched with red. He takes you by the throat next, giving you the same treatment. 

“Who told either of you to stop?” Slap. “Hm?” He switches back to Jaemin. The sensation stings so good, you wish he’d spank you all over your body. You arch your body forward, craning your head higher to better receive it. Jeno laughs dryly. “You even like this?”

You nod emphatically and he laughs again, tickled and pleased. “Good, now get back.”

Jeno moves Jaemin back on to his cock, leaving room for you to lick and suck at the side of his shaft. You wrap your lips around the base of his shaft, moaning in delight each time Jaemin’s lips brush yours. The teamwork means Jaemin is no longer struggling around Jeno’s dick, just slurping and sucking. Jeno’s mouth hangs open, his husky groans plentiful. He can barely keep his eyes on both of you slobbering all over his dick. Your obedient eyes watch him and it makes it harder for him to look away. He desperately fists both of your now messy hair for dear life. His eyes flit to you and his stomach caves. Your blissed-out eyes are sparkling so innocently as you suck at his shaft. The sheer amount of joy in your eyes to taste his cock brings him close.

He shoves the two of you away and you both immediately scramble back to your knees. Jaemin waits patiently for the next instruction while you caress his muscular thighs, eyeing his cock intently.

“Get her clothes off.”

Within seconds, Jaemin is grabbing your shirt and peeling it off of you. You barely get your arms up in time before it’s pulled over your head. He goes for your skirt next, pulling it to your knees in short yanks. Your hands drop to the floor as he lifts your legs up to get it off. It feels so fast, your head is spinning, but it must not be fast enough. Jeno grabs you by the arm to pull you to your feet. He grabs the front of your panties and rips them off your hips. He tosses the tattered fabric before delivering his next instruction. 

“Bend her over the bed.”

Jaemin’s body presses firmly to your back as he urges you to the bed, folding over it with you. You can feel his bulge prodding at your bare ass as he grinds into you. His lips litter kisses all over your neck and shoulder before he makes his way down. The closer he gets to your core, the more your lower abdomen clenches with excitement and need. You’ve never been eaten out before. His nose prods against your anus, his breath hot against your lips. You squirm, trying to push closely, but you feel two pairs of hands hold your hips still. 

“Patience.” Jaemin warns, voice muffled against your mound. He inhales a hissing breath before parting his lips and laying his tongue flat against your mound. You flinch, adjusting to the peculiar sensation. His wet, hot tongue prods at your clit. Liquid pleasure pools in your lower abdomen the more he flicks and circles his tongue. Light moans float from your lips at the feeling. Wet and hot… you never thought it would feel like this, or that those two sensations could feel this good. You can’t help it, you wiggle against them. The urge to shove his face deeper is so great. 

His firm and slimy muscle slides up your slit, parting you open. He pushes it deeper, teasing your hole. Every movement causes a deep ache in your gut. A cloying need that is met when he gets more passionate. He begins slurping at your clit. 

“Oh~” You breathe, pleasantly surprised by how good it feels. He switches between slurping and flicking and the liquid pools more and more in your gut, feeling like molten lava. You hear soft moans from both of them behind you, especially when Jeno’s searing cock starts pressing against your ass. His hips roll slow, gently working his member against you. Jaemin hums questioningly against you, the vibrations go straight to your core.

“I-I don’t know what’s come over me man.”

Jaemin hums again, this time like he’s come to understand something. Jaemin rubs your stiff bud back and forth until your moans gain more body. By now your moans have transitioned to desperate sobs as you try and fail to reach back for him. You should’ve enjoyed it while it lasted, because you feel a sudden coldness as Jaemin is pulled away. You push up onto your forearms, attempting to look back and protest when you’re pushed back onto your stomach. Jeno stands behind you as he says something to Jaemin. You whimper and whine, hoping a tongue will go back to pleasuring you. 

You hear a zipper when Jeno prods his tip against you. You gasp, trying to keep still so he’ll fill you up faster. 

“Please, please, please…” You chant under your breath. 

“Sit up.” Jaemin commands as he positions himself next to you on the bed. You lean back, slowly positioning yourself onto your knees. Jaemin slips under you, placing his legs on either side of you. He opens his arms, raising his brows at you with a smile. You blink slowly, trying to piece together what’s about to happen. Your desperation cancels that out, and you just opt for leaning forward. From behind, Jeno grabs Jaemin’s cock– to which Jaemin groans– and positions it between your legs. It nestles perfectly into your slit, especially when Jaemin presses your legs together with his thighs. Your eyes flutter closed as you press your face into his chest. 

You feel a second cock slide between your slick upper thighs. You push up, whimpering in fear as you look back at Jeno. Jaemin shushes you and pets your hair. 

“Shhh, it’s okay. We’ll take it slow.”

“I-It’s been almost a year since I had sex last. I don’t know if I can take it.���

Jaemin reaches up and caresses your waist. He gives you a reassuring look and you sigh, attempting to relax.

“We’ll use a safe word.” Jeno snakes his hands over your shoulders, giving them an earnest squeeze. You relax further. “If we’re gonna… you know. Do this more often, I wanna make sure you’re completely comfortable.” 

His hands are firm and confident on your shoulders, but when you turn to look at him, he looks nervous. His eyes carefully inch up your face until they meet yours. You can see that he’s pushing away all the teasing and snarky comments to let you know he means it. Something potent swells in your heart and you can tell he feels the same when he grabs your face and kisses you with new intensity. 

You all settle on a safe word but it doesn’t matter what it is in the moment. Jaemin’s hands fist your ass, pushing you closer as his dick slides between your lips. Jeno’s cock slides right next to his, his knees now on the bed. His weight pushes you further into Jaemin and all you can think about is wanting to be cocooned in their heat and scent forever. You have one hand in Jaemin’s hair and the other reaching back to grip Jeno’s forearm. It escapes you that this can go further, that you could feel even better. With their cocks slick with your juices and slipping between your legs and against your clit, it’s all you care about. 

Jeno draws his hips back until his tip catches on your entrance. He sinks in slowly, the stretch creating a deep ache. Every ridge his cock brushes over as he spreads you open fuels the fire in your gut. It burns hotter and hotter until you're biting Jaemin’s shoulder to muffle your mewls. He settles there for a moment, grinding his hips in until you’ve adjusted. Then he pulls all the way out, leaving your cunt to slowly shrink and clench around nothing only for him to shove it back in. You let out a harsh yelp, your body propelling forward with each thrust. Jaemin holds you steady so you’re not inching up the bed. 

Jeno has one foot on the bed now, delivering punishing thrust after punishing thrust. You can tell they’re both getting worked up. Jaemin keeps praising you and Jeno. Variations of him telling you you take his cock so well and telling him how good he’s fucking you. Jeno’s even getting a little verbal. Little curses here and there, slapping your ass. 

“Take this fucking cock.” Jeno grunts. His skin slapping against yours is so loud you’re convinced the people outside can hear it through the music. Jaemin lifts you up and lets his cock slap against his stomach. He lowers you back down, your clit landing right on his shaft. Jeno’s thrusts jostle your body back and forth, rubbing your throbbing clit on Jaemin’s cock. Your jaw drops open as a strong sensation overtakes you. Salacious moans unleash from your throat against your will. 

“O-oh my– god!” You cry out, the fire in your stomach raging. You hear Jeno laugh behind you and Jaemin laugh against your shoulder. 

“So cute.” Jaemin says with fondness dripping from his voice. 

“Oh my god?” Jeno mocks, smacking your ass again. “Just like in porn.” Him and Jaemin laugh harder and you can’t bring yourself to sass them. Not with the raging inferno overtaking your body. You push up from Jaemin right into Jeno, arms shaking in the process. Your eyes roll back as you let the pleasure overtake you. It’s so strong it’s startling as it hits its peak. Fluid shoots out from your cunt as a keen moan is ripped from your body. You slam back into Jaemin, humping his cock as your orgasm subsides. 

“Goood girl.” Jaemin grabs his cock from under you to slap against your sensitive pussy. You jump from the sensitivity. “Get it nice and wet.”

“You first.” Jeno says. You can hear him stroking his cock soaked with your cum. Jaemin slips in easily to your pussy, all the way in so you can feel what you hadn’t noticed until now. Jaemin is thin, but he is long. Extremely long. A sharp gasp is drawn from you. 

“You okay? Do you need a minute?” Jaemin asks, full of worry. Probably well aware of what effect his cock has on people. A minute won’t fix the way his tip is prodding against your cervix. So you shake your head, opting to take it like the good girl he’s been counting on you to be. His thrusting is slow and deep, punctuated each time with a kiss from his tip to your cervix. It’s painful, but you don’t want it to stop. The more it happens, the more you crave the feeling. You cup his thigh and he grabs your face, lifting it so you face him. 

“Are you sure?”

You run your tongue over your bottom lip. 

“Fuck me harder.”

Jaemin’s hips buck involuntarily at that, sending your eyes to the back of your skull. He does just that, showing that there’s no shift in dynamic from being fucked by Jeno. If anything, Jaemin’s thrusts are more wild and aggressive. He lifts your ass slightly to fuck you more efficiently. Each pound deep into your cunt has you seeing stars. It hurts so good. The pain is addictive. 

“So much fucking dick.” Your voice is fragmented, each word cut short by a damning thrust. 

“Holy fuck.” Jeno growls, slapping your ass and adding to that delicious pain. You can’t stop the sounds from pouring out of you. “Stop, stop.” Jeno taps Jaemin’s leg. Jaemin pauses, lowering you back down. Though the thrusting has stopped, him being nestled so deep within you is still so overwhelming. However, you didn’t understand what overwhelming could mean until Jeno’s tip breaches your hole and joins Jaemin’s monster. 

The stretch is unfathomable, you almost think you can’t compensate. But you do, and Jeno is nestled deep within you as well. You muffle your sounds in the pit of Jaemin’s neck, lifting only to say ‘more’ to their check-ins. Only Jeno can pound into you with Jaemin pressed flat to the bed, but it’s more than enough. Jeno grips your ass with both his hands and he pounds into you with renewed vigor. Even Jaemin’s restricted thrusts still hit deep. Your senses are clouded with varied euphoria from all angles. 

You’re rendered speechless, noises coming to a halt with the debilitating assault to your cunt. Every time you try you’re reduced to syllables and squeaks. Jeno checks in one more time, asking if he should go slower or stop altogether. You finally find your voice. 

“Fuck me!” You shout.

Jeno replies with a harsh slap to your ass. You can hear his balls slapping against Jaemin’s cock as he delivers his fierce thrusts. He slaps your ass over and over, backhand and forehand until it’s hot and raw. Jaemin lifts you slightly by your throat. It’s clear on his face that he’s also being overtaken by pleasure. 

“You like it like that, huh?” He slaps you across the face. “You like it hard and rough?”

“I fucking love it.” You grit, earning you another slap. They both continue their slapping until your tongue is hanging out, drool dripping from it so you look like the dirty slut they’re making you out to be.

“Good fucking girl.” Jaemin grunts, running his nails up your back. 

“Best fucking girl.” Jeno corrects. An onslaught of slaps punctuate their praise.

Jeno’s thrusts don’t stop when you feel yourself gush with no warning. You throw your head back, moaning in shock as an orgasm overtakes you. 

“Did you cum? Hm? You came again?” Jeno snatches you by your hair and you clench around them as much as you can manage. 

“Oh… oh fuck!” Jaemin digs his nails into your sides as he bucks brutally into you, giving your cervix one final beating as his cum spurts into you. 

You’re completely limp atop Jaemin as Jeno chases his own high. Stuttering thrusts signal his eventual orgasm, filling you to the brim with each of their cum. 

The next time your eyes blink open, your core is being wiped clean. After that, it’s Jeno carrying you and sitting you on the toilet after you mutter about having to pee. You’re awake by then, showering as you stare blankly at the wall. An impish smile slowly spreads on your face. You turn your face up, letting the water from Lindsay’s infinity shower pour over you. 

Jeno and Jaemin are dressed and outside the room by the time you’re finished. When you go out into the hall, no one is left at the party except the core players in your plan. They're bloody and bruised, smiling like idiots. 

“Okay, so what do we do next?”

“Take pictures of your injuries. I’ll text Haewon and make sure she has her story straight. Make sure you have yours straight too. Haewon invited you because you trained together when someone broke into the very calm! Party.” Jeno explains slowly.

“Right! And then we tell them that they fucked us up and were yelling about some gambling thing?”

“Right.” Jeno confirms, nodding his head and crossing his arms. Their eyes moving to you makes both Jeno and Jaemin look back at you. They sport the same wolfish smile as you move closer. Once stood next to him, Jaemin immediately goes to grab your ass, checking under your skirt to confirm that yes, you couldn’t be wearing panties right now. You swat him away, not wanting to get dirty all over again. 

EPILOGUEˋ°•*⁀➷

The backlash was swift. First everyone was sympathetic in reaction to the news of the break in, then more of the details came to light. Lindsay being a celebrity all over East and Southeast Asia bit her in the ass. Everyone was talking about the break in and the gambling. All eyes were on her and all keyboards were typing her name into search engines. It was the perfect time to drop the second bomb.

“Ten accusers, six being anonymous, come out against the heiress. They state that she had scammed them, caused them mental or emotional harm and even made bets on their success..”

You shake your head at the TV, tsking to yourself and NingNing who was on speaker phone. 

“Omg, look!” NingNing shouts. Footage of Lindsay Liu being detained appears on screen. She is thrashing and screaming at the police and the reporters.

“Oh here it comes.” You wince, recoiling from the screen. Lindsay rattles off some less than savory words, revealing her true self to the world for the first time. She curses everyone, naming specific ethnicities and nationalities while doing so. Mostly the ones belonging to her core fanbase. If the allegations and prison time don’t end her, this certainly will. 

“Liu has been arrested on several accounts of tax fraud and general fraud. She could earn up to fifteen years in prison. Liu’s father, Liu Jian, publicly renounced his daughter. Saying that he doesn’t agree with his daughter’s actions, and that he’s appalled by her behavior. Liu Jian retired early this winter, passing Orchid Oasis on to the former COO.”

The newscaster switches to a new story and you shut the TV off.

“Well… after seeing that, any pity for her is completely gone.” NingNing announces. The two of you eagerly discuss what just transpired. You still feel a bit unsettled, as if Lindsay’s shadow hasn’t stopped looming over you yet. Will everything be better after this? Would people find out what you all planned?

You pick at your cuticles, checking your group chat with only Jeno and Jaemin and wondering why they haven’t texted you yet. Is Jaemin okay? An hour would pass before you got your answer. You hear the beeps of someone entering a code into your door and snap your head toward it. 

“I’llCallYouBackBye.” You rush out before hanging up on NingNing. You shoot up from your bed, standing before the door. The minute Jeno’s face peeks through the door, he throws it open and rushes toward you. You giggle with anticipation as he grabs your face and mashes his lips to yours. You both collapse onto the bed. Only then does it hit you that you guys did it.

As for Jaemin, her rant as she was detained immediately turned him off to her. He was honest, stating it hurt a bit that everyone was right about her but it was telegraphed pretty explicitly. Heechul shut down Gossip Girls and even considered taking the whole app down, claiming that he feels like Lindsay tainted it. And in a way, she did. People keep rallying for her release, mostly people with a financial incentive. Then Heechul just realized he could boot them from the app. More people came out against Lindsay, something none of you had any part of. 

You feel somewhat vindicated, like you weren’t as sensitive as you thought in regards to Lindsay.

🥀 𐮙 🐻ˋ°•*⁀➷

You’ve never experienced that new car smell, especially not while being served expensive wine. This trip to Switzerland in the Global 7500 was sponsored mostly by the members in the group from Stray Kids and NCT. Reddish brown lacquered wood accented the beige walls of the private jet. You settle into one of the cream-white seats between Jaemin and Jeno, across from NingNing and her members. You didn’t mind the thirteen hour flight with these seats and great alcohol and food. And Jaemin’s hand on your thigh.

It’s Jeno, though, that carts you off to the surprisingly spacious bathroom. It looks more luxurious than any bathroom from places you’ve lived. The sloppiness of the kiss alerts you to how strongly he’s feeling right now. You’ll admit that the luxurious nature of this plane has you all hot and bothered as well. You try to be as quiet as you can while sitting on the counter with Jeno pounding into you. 

You all pull on your coats, hats, and gloves as the jet lands, extremely groggy. Most of you head right to bed as soon as you get into the high-end ski chalet. You do the same, mostly excited to see how soft the beds are. You plop backward onto the bed, pleasantly surprised. It might even be better than Lindsay’s. Before you could even think of getting undressed and ready to sleep, Jaemin is grabbing your legs and pulling you to the edge of the bed. You want to protest, but sex before sleeping in this bed sounds like a dream.

Even more of a dream is both Jeno and Jaemin lapping at your slit while peering up at you. You clench their hair, watching in awe as they get utterly pussy drunk. Licking each other’s cheeks and chins by accident here and there. You’re disappointed by how quickly you cum, wanting to prolong this moment forever. 

However, you hate to admit that snuggling up with them under the warm covers is slightly better. Only slightly. After discussing, the three of you decided not to put a label on whatever this was. Especially since talking to Jeno and realizing a lot of what he feels makes too much sense. It isn’t romance, it’s secure co-existence. 

Members of the now defunct Gossip Girls message you after some pictures of you, Jeno, and Jaemin drunkenly kissing during the trip are posted to SCR. You usually send a shrug emoji, but you briefly entertain the thought of your own guide. You don’t think what you wore or how you acted really mattered. Just that you had a common enemy.

LIKES AND REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED! `⎚⩊⎚´ -✧

◉ proofread cycle 1 ⃝ proofread cycle 2

[decompose1]

my genuine tip is that you should just use language that treats body parts as neutral and makes no assumptions about someone's circumstances. drop "agab"-specific language in favor of being more descriptive. "this affects people with penises" is more inclusive and affective than "this affects amabs". "this affects people with uteruses" and "this affects people with vaginas" are different statements that may not apply to all people with one or the other. the assumption that agab and genitalia are the same thing (or that everyone even can be divided into one of two binary agabs) is exclusionary to both intersex people and trans people who have medically transitioned

[lifeinacartoon]

CREATING AUTHENTIC DEAF AND HARD OF HEARING CHARACTERS: A WRITER'S JOURNAL

Introduction

Creating authentic characters in your writing is essential for engaging storytelling, and this includes characters who are deaf or hard of hearing. To craft a character that accurately represents this community, it's crucial to do your research, gain a deep understanding of their experiences, and portray them with sensitivity and respect. In this journal, we'll explore how to write a deaf or hard-of-hearing character, including key information and preparation steps.

Understanding Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing Characters

Research: Start by researching deaf and hard-of-hearing individuals' experiences, challenges, and culture. Read books, articles, and personal stories, and watch documentaries or interviews featuring members of the Deaf community.

Consult with Experts: Reach out to members of the Deaf community or experts in Deaf studies to gain insights into their experiences. They can provide invaluable guidance and help you avoid common misconceptions.

Diversity Within the Community: Understand that the Deaf and hard-of-hearing communities are diverse. Some individuals communicate using sign language, while others rely on lip-reading, cochlear implants, or hearing aids. Be aware of these differences when creating your character.

Character Development

Backstory and Identity: Consider your character's background. Were they born deaf, or did they become deaf later in life? How do they identify within the Deaf community? Understanding their identity and experiences will shape their character.

Language and Communication: Decide how your character communicates. Are they fluent in sign language, or do they primarily rely on lip-reading and spoken language? Their communication style will influence their interactions with other characters.

Cultural Awareness: Explore the cultural aspects of the Deaf community. Understand the importance of Deaf culture, including its history, art, and values. Incorporate these elements into your character's life when relevant.

Writing Tips

Dialogue and Communication: When writing dialogue for a deaf or hard-of-hearing character, be mindful of their unique communication style. Use visual cues, body language, and facial expressions to convey emotions and context.

Access to Information: Consider the challenges your character may face in accessing information. This could involve issues with closed captioning, subtitles, or accommodations in educational or work settings.

Social Interactions: Depict social interactions realistically. Show how your character navigates conversations, group dynamics, and social events within their community and with hearing individuals.

Preparation

Sensitivity Readers: Consider hiring sensitivity readers who are part of the Deaf or hard-of-hearing community to review your work and provide feedback. Their insights can help you avoid stereotypes and inaccuracies.

Learn Sign Language: If your character uses sign language, take the time to learn at least basic signs. This will not only enrich your writing but also demonstrate your commitment to accuracy.

Beta Readers: Seek feedback from a diverse group of beta readers who can assess the authenticity of your character and offer constructive criticism.

Engage with the Community: Attend Deaf community events, workshops, or online forums to immerse yourself in the culture and better understand the perspectives and experiences of deaf and hard-of-hearing individuals.

Creating a deaf or hard-of-hearing character that resonates with readers requires dedication, empathy, and thorough research. By following these steps and embracing the rich culture and diversity of the Deaf community, you can create a character that is not only authentic but also promotes understanding and inclusivity in your writing. In addition, when writing dialogue for your deaf or hard-of-hearing character, remember:

It's important to clarify why, when writing dialogue for a deaf character, you should continue to use structured English grammar and not sign language structured grammar.

Maintaining Structured English Grammar:

Readability: Writing in structured English grammar ensures that the text remains accessible and comprehensible to all readers, including those who may not be familiar with sign language or Deaf culture. It avoids potential confusion that could arise from using sign language grammar in written text.

Universal Understanding: English is a global language, and adhering to its grammar rules allows for a wider audience to understand and engage with your story. Sign language grammar varies between different sign languages, making it less universally applicable in written form.

Respect for the Medium: While sign language is a rich and expressive mode of communication, it is primarily a visual and gestural language. Attempting to replicate sign language grammar in written text can be cumbersome and may not fully capture the nuances of sign language communication.

Balance of Realism and Readability: Striking a balance between authenticity and readability is crucial in storytelling. Maintaining structured English grammar while depicting a deaf character's interactions helps convey the character's experience without compromising the reader's ability to follow the narrative.

As an illustration, consider the following text: Dialogues with Descriptive Sign Language:

Sarah greeted John with a warm smile, her hands moving gracefully as she signed, "Hi, how are you?"

John returned the greeting in sign language, his expressions mirroring his words. "I'm good, thanks. Did you see the new movie?"

Sarah's eyes lit up as she signed back enthusiastically, "Yes, I loved it!"

In summary, using structured English grammar when writing dialogue for a deaf character is a practical and respectful choice that ensures your writing remains inclusive and accessible to a broad audience while still authentically representing the character's identity and experiences.

Furthermore, it's essential to avoid creating a character who is overly perfect or one-dimensional. In real life, we understand that everyone has imperfections and complexities, regardless of whether they are deaf or hard of hearing. Therefore, it's entirely acceptable to depict your character as a villain with a hearing issue if that aligns with your storytelling goals.

[screampied]

Vegas, do you have any tips of your own when it comes to writing smut? - 🍯

SUREEEEE~ ☆

one big tip to start is that, don’t feel discouraged to write smut just because you don’t have experience irl. i’ve had lots of anons ask me in the past if someone can write smut without actually ever having sex before, and ofc you can! it’s fiction at the end of the day, and it’s supposed to be exaggerated and inaccurate. like tbh sex in fiction is not as amazing as it is irl i’ll say that. HAVE FUNNNN WITH YOUR PORN, BE DRAMATIC AND SILLY. we’re all doing the same thing.

invest in grammarly or some kind of writing correction software. this is really helpful! especially if you don’t have a beta reader, and/or you’re like me and english isn’t your first language. also—use a thesaurus. if you feel like you’re repeating certain words, phrases, i’d recommend wordhippo.com

when writing smut, you have a lot of things to focus on at once. (positions, emotions, tension, dialogue, body language, breath patterns, orgasms, minuscule details such as the bed shaking/creaking, the wind, etc.) it’s important to pace yourself when you’re writing smut. it’s a lot, but a tip i’d give is to take breaks every so often. describe to the very best of your ability, i like to visually imagine the scenes i write as if it’s actually happening so it gives me a better picture for when i write—if that makes sense. for breathing patterns, describe how it sounds, is it quick or slow? irregular breaths, panting like a dog? be descriptive, also make sure to write about both reader and the character(s) emotions

read your dialogue out loud. this helps to make sure it sounds right or if you have a typo. try reading backwards too!

when writing smut, this is also important. avoid writing things such as (her cheeks turned rosy pink, he ran his fingers through her straight strands, her blue/specific colored eyes stared into his) not everyone can relate! i know i can’t, and it’s important to be inclusive in your writing because it’s a difference between a “reader” and a “oc”, unless you say you’ve stated prior that you’re writing specific details.

reading lots of novels def will help strengthen your vocabulary :D in my spare time—i read lots of vintage magazines, novels and books and focus on all the words i see. you never know, you might stumble upon a phrase/word that you like! reading helps a lot, regardless if you’re writing smut or any other genre.

lastly, have fun!!! 🌸 it can be hard writing smut sometimes, especially if you’re new but that’s okay. what’s important is that you’re writing for yourself and you’re having fun doing it <3

[radical-ramblings]

Feminist Youtube Videos for Every Topic

A collection of feminist content, organized topically for ease.

Separatism:

on separatism and heterosexuality

why separatism is good

we're gonna die sometime. might as well be separatists.

stop choosing patriarchy

separatism is a choice

biggest impact, but most won't do it

on vetting men

the benefits of separatism are endless

men cannot be rehabbed

of course the slave is full of rage for her slave master

Lesbian Stuff:

who can use the word 'lesbian'?

on defending gay rights and spaces

what are lesbians supposed to do about het women?

gender critical lesbophobia

the constant rage for gold star lesbians

Political Lesbian Critique:

a simple breakdown of political lesbians

political lesbians... are you ok?

political 'lesbians' are not actually lesbians

i didn't 'come to lesbianism'. i was always here.

homosexuality is not a choice

for those who confuse polilez vs febfem

Comp Het Critique:

comp het isn't a thing

lesbihonest-art (RIP) on comp het

on lesbian experience, by @sunlight-beauty

on comp het, by @rakastiikeri

sespursongles (RIP) on comp het

Preferred Pronouns:

on 'cis' and other language

pronouns are rohypnol

preferred pronouns? no.

what are your pronouns?

Anti Make-Up / Beauty / Femininity:

3 years without makeup: 5 benefits i've experienced

sephora girls: why are ten year olds wearing make-up?

marked women

makeup isn't empowerment

why i stopped wearing makeup

bimbofication: a dangerously idiotic trend

empowerment? no.

give the middle finger to patiarchy

radfems in eyeliner

makeup infinity

on makeup and radical feminism

maintaining the status quo hurts all women

the audacity of the bare-faced woman

critiquing is not shaming

why do women do beauty?

choice feminism is a lie

actually gender critical

Anti Surogacy / Natalism / Procretion:

about mothers

forced pregnancy is involuntary servitude

egg "donation" is exploitation

on sperm giveaways

motherhood is not untouchable

homosexuality does not include reproduction

why i don't want kids

why i'm childfree

on procreation and patriarchy

Porn / Sex Work Commentary:

instagram vs porn

'sex-positive feminism' benefits men (and hurts women)

the influence of porn on the trans trend

on 'sex work'

speaking out on prostitution

'sex work is work'? no, not really.

let's stop acting like 'sex work' is empowering

is porn 'for women' okay?

porn is apocalyptical

'ethical porn' cannot exist

stop glamourizing 'sex work'

porn is the pinnacle of evil

is r/antiwork pro exploitation?

Trans Critical:

mainstream, revisionist, queer nonsense

why transwomen don't have 'female brains', from @ilistened2transwomen

why the hate?

why i decided to stop using the term 'transwoman'

on trans rights activists

TRAs loooove white men

the untouchable male creep - AGPs on parade, from @ilistened2transwomen

'intersectional' does not mean 'trans inclusive'

non-binary is deeply rooted in misogyny

25 questions for trans activists

women's sports are not a dumping ground for mediocre men

on "identifying as" women

stacia samaya on 'non-binary'

why sex is binary

trans rights, or trans privileges?

always chasing the dragon

27 ways in which trans activism is harmful

the actual human rights law

on 'trans women are women'

is transitioning ever 'the best' option?

autogynephilia - a brief overview

the rise of the heterosexual queer

phobia indoctrination

transing away the gay

5 tips for talking gender critical, by @runawaysiren940

the transing of language

autogynephilia, not dysphoria

rainbow-washed progressivism

transwomen are not women

how i became gender critical

autogynephilia explained

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey sex witch! I recently saw something that says 94% of autistic uterus-havers experience PMDD and that made me (an autistic uterus-haver) incredibly curious, but every website has been either supremely unhelpful and/or dysphoria-inducing. how bad is "normal" PMS supposed to be?? how can I tell if it's tipped into the realm of PMDD? thanks :)

hi anon,

that percentage seemed INCREDIBLY high to me, so I went digging. I think the info you saw might have come from this article by ADDitute magazine, which claims that 92% of autistic women (their language) experience PMDD. so I checked out the study they linked to support to that claim (here) and here's the thing: the study was conducted on 62 women total, only 26 of whom were classified as autistic. so, you know, an interesting finding, but definitely not what I would consider representative enough to confidently claim that nearly all people who have autism and a uterus also have PMDD.

having said that, a pretty lengthy (and, as far as I can find, gender inclusive) list of PMDD symptoms can be found here, if you're interested in checking it against what you experience.

[tiny-brass-bot]

Hi! I saw a post where you had a game made in godot with old school rendering, do you maybe have any tips on how to make godot render a game like that instead of its normal rendering method?

I'd be right happy to!

I'll try to make this concise lol, I always end up overexplaining and then getting lost in the weeds. Buckle up, it's a loooooot of little little things that all add up.

First off, you should decide which look you're going for. N64 and PS1, the two consoles I'm emulating, both had drastically different specs. (plus, there's plenty of other early 3D systems I've not even touched!)

The N64 had texture filtering (textures were interpolated aka "blurry"), it had floating point vertex precision (points moved correctly), it had perspective correction on its textures (no warping)

The PS1 had no texture filtering, no floating point vertex precision (vertices snap and pop around), affine texture mapping (textures warp weird). I also think the color space they operate in is different? Don't quote me

So you can go hard one way or another or pick and choose what you think looks good! We don't have anywhere near the hardware restrictions they did in the 90s so go nuts.

RESOLUTION

To get a low resolution window, I set the window size of the game and the window override size to different amounts

In green is actually how big the window is on my screen (4k monitor) and in red is the retro resolution I want. If you set the stretch mode correctly (an option a little further down the Window tab) then it'll make the pixels big

COLORS

Now the PS1 had the capability of showing you over 16 million different colors, but it could only display 50,000-150,000 at a time, so in order to get more fidelity out of it, the engineers implemented a dithering effect to better blend the otherwise sharp edges between colors.

I used this shader to achieve the dithering effect. If you don't understand shader languages, that's fine. There are a few different pre-built ones for looking like the PlayStation 1 out there.

TEXTURES

Textures for the PS1 could be as big as 256x256, but they were typically 128x128. And they would squish everything a model needed into there usually, at least with like player models and objects and such.

As mentioned, if you're not good with shader language don't worry. There are countless resources out there that people will either let you use or teach you how it works. But I'm gonna touch on it a little bit here.

PS1 textures had no pixel filtering, so you could see individual pixels.

This is what determines that in the shader code. If you want it to look like the N64 (blurry lol), the proper hint is "filter_linear". Note that it won't be 1:1 with N64, cuz they used bilinear filtering (which kinda sucks and causes weird quirks) whereas now you'll only find linear or trilinear filtering. It's a negligible difference imo.

PS1 textures also were only saved using 15 bit color. I'm told that Photoshop's "Posterize" filter set to 32 can achieve this, but don't use photoshop if you can help it. I use GIMP, and while a newer version might have a posterize filter, or there may be a plugin out there, my version doesn't so I cluge it a little.

Change your color mode to "indexed", set color dithering to how you like it, and the number of colors in the palette to a number to get a good result. Usually I'll do 16, 8, 32, but occasionally I'll cheat and do a non-multiple-of-8 teehee >:3c

You can change it back to RGB after to make further editing easier.

LIGHTING

N64 and PS1 both implemented vertex lighting, as opposed to the more modern and (now) ubiquitous per-pixel lighting. Godot as it is right now (4.2 i think?) claims it has vertex lighting that you can set as a shader property but they're lying and it doesn't work yet.

The old consoles could only handle like, 2 lights though so it doesn't matter much.

The real star of the show, and in my opinion the one thing that makes a game most look like the 90s is the inclusion of vertex colors.

By multiplying the color of your texture by its stored vertex color, you can do all the shading yourself!

Plus you can reuse textures like crazy just by coloring them differently. The N64 also made heavy use of vertex colors by forgoing a texture on models entirely and just painting them using verticies. The only textures on SM64 Mario are his eyes, stache, hat emblem, buttons, and sideburns. Everything else is done with vertex colors.

Here you can see this level from my Crock Land with no vertex coloring, with some of the vertex colors only, and then with the two combined.

Rare loved this. Look at how colorful that cliffside is in Jungle Japes. It makes it so much more interesting than just a brown cliff face. Plus you can see the vertex coloration instead of textures at work on DK and the Gnawty.

My go-to example for PS1 is always Spyro, what a gorgeous game. All of those colors there are not made by a light or an environment. They're hand painted babey! Also! With spyro! The skyboxes are actually just huge domes made up of vertices that are colored in different ways! That's how they can look so colorful and "hi-res".

There's plenty more you can do, like adding a CRT filter or a little bit of chromatic aberration which I haven't gotten into yet.

The way I've learned all this is just by being curious as to how the old consoles did their thing, and slowly accruing the knowledge over time. There's still infinite stuff I don't know too.

I hope that helped! And wasn't too longwinded or confusing! Like I said, it's all about piling up tons and tons of little things, small details, weird graphical quirks that really bring out the retro 3D feel for me.

And I didn't even get into the modeling side of things! That's an entirely different "color-of-the-sky"-sized post though.

I'd be happy to re-explain or explain more about any of this!

[incognitopolls]

Submissions are accepted on the 1st and 15th of every month!

If there's a poll you wish someone would make, but it’s too embarrassing or awkward for you to make publicly, submit it to us and we'll post it– completely anonymously!

How to submit a poll:

Check the date! Is it the 1st or 15th? If not, hold onto your question for the next open submission period.

Include (1) a title, and (2) all of the answer choices you want the poll to list, up to a maximum of 12

Choices cannot exceed 80 characters in length, so be concise!

Send via ask or submission, not DM

Your submissions may also include: additional details, clarifying information, secondary questions, images, or anything else you think is relevant to add to the body of the post.

If your submission uses specific terminology, acronyms, etc that may not be widely known, consider including definitions so that we can ensure we understand the question you're asking, especially if those terms are not easily googleable.

What about time zones?

Asks are automatically timestamped. Any submissions timestamped with a date other than the 1st or 15th of the month will be discarded.

This blog operates on EST (UTC-5) and asks are timestamped accordingly.

In order to avoid any issues, please keep in mind any difference in time zones and adjust your submission time accordingly. If you're not sure, look up "what time is it in New York?" for a reference point.

Links:

Searchable archive

Frequently Asked Questions

Check if your poll is on-topic! Off-topic submissions may be discarded.

Other poll blogs to check out

Incognito Polls Tag Directory (Use this to browse past polls/check if your submission has been run before!)

Companion blog for answering duplicate/off-topic submissions: @incognitopolls-inbox

Results grabber if you don't want to click a button

Want to support the blog? Leave a tip on ko-fi!

Information:

If it's not a submission day, the askbox is still open for non-poll questions. The askbox being open does not mean submissions are open– check the date!

Submissions will be posted in the order received and will run for a week. Your submission may be posted weeks or months after you send it. Exceptions: if there's something obviously seasonal or a highly relevant follow-up to a recent poll, it'll probably get bumped forward, or the queue may be adjusted to space out similar topics.

All submissions are anonymous. This blog will not reveal or discuss the identity of any submitter (beyond general, non-identifying information as relevant to the poll topic).

We may modify the text of your submission slightly to add more answer choices, clarify meanings, or use more inclusive language.

Because polls are user-submitted, poll topics and/or results do not represent the social, political, or moral opinions of this blog or its operator(s). We do our best to be mindful of others when posting polls and decline to post submissions that are visibly inflammatory or harmful, but we try to exercise inclusivity and good faith about human curiosity.

[Last updated 4/28/2025]

[insolemi]

New Beginnings

cate dunlap (gen v) x (hopefully)gn!reader

summary: cate's life takes a series of turns when she gets to God U, and you're at the center of all of them

genre: fluff, potential angst

inclusions: language, awkward situations, touchstarved and socially awkward!cate, overly-excited and outgoing!reader, ooc cate fs, this is more a few different scattered scenes that it is a full, single plot fic so be aware, my first attempt at a fic so please lower expectations

wc: 4.4k

hiiii… y’all i am so sorry this took me seventy years to get posted, i had the strangest series of events happen, but here it is and i hope you enjoy it !!

Godolkin is an entirely new environment.

It's not like Cate hadn't known that going into it, hadn’t known that her life would be completely different from the moment Indira Shetty had shown up in her room and offered her a way out of her childhood bedroom turned prison. She doesn’t think she’d ever be able to repay her for that. For getting her out of that house, out from under the echoing emptiness of the four walls of her bedroom and the occasional sound of her online homework videos.

For being the reason she met you. Her pretty, sweet little roommate.

Move-in day hadn’t been particularly good or bad, the large crowds of people and their chattering were overwhelming but calming at the same time, knowing the voices weren’t in her head but out loud, around her this time.

She made her way down the hall, brushing through smaller crowds of students and their parents as she counted the different numbers above the doors. 415, 417, 419. She reads the number, coming to a slow stop outside of the dorm room with the number written on the piece of paper in her hand, her name labeled right next to your name. The thought alone of it makes her nauseous, having to share a bedroom with an entirely new person she’d never met before and hope that they get along. 

Whatever. It’s fine. She can do this. All she has to do is walk into the room, introduce herself to you, and try her best to not embarrass herself. That’s easy enough, no? It’s not like its rocket science or a hostage situation (although the way her heart is beating loudly in her ears might say differently), all she has to do is walk in and say ‘Hi, I’m Cate’. 

She stands in the doorway, just staring at your back for a moment, her eyes wide, the leather of her gloves creaking around the strap of the bag she’s holding in her hands (one of the only things she’d even brought with her) as she works up the courage to just open her mouth and talk as the only thing running through her mind is that everything is fine, she's got this, all she has to do is say–

Fuck.

The second her mouth opens, you turn to face her from the desk you’d been arranging things on and any words she’d been carefully planning in her head die on the tip of her tongue immediately at the sight of you. 

She hardly has any time to let the thought cross her mind and register it before you’re in her space, introducing yourself with an excited note to your sweet voice and wrapping your arms around her in a brief hug, your chin pressed against the side of her shoulder, the palm of your hands braced on the back of her shoulders, the other hand around her neck. You pull back from her and rest your hands above the back of her elbows, your face still in her direct orbit as you smile at her, your mouth opening to continue speaking. “You’re Cate, right? My roommate?” There’s a pretty little sparkle to your eye that she has to tear her own away from.

She can’t think about anything but the sound of your voice ringing in her ears and the feeling of the heat of your hands over her sleeves, but she somehow manages to get the words out of her mouth to finally introduce herself. “Uh, yeah, hi,” she forces out, her head spinning so fast that she can’t think properly and she stumbles back a step, pulling out of your grasp, unable to handle the warmth of your touch. She awkwardly tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I'm, um… Cate.” It’s been so long since anyone touched her so enthusiastically, without any ounce of hesitation, and now here you are, all smiles and casual touches, and she can barely keep it together.

But she does. She doesn’t want to come across as weird, a freak, so she smiles and nods along with your excited chattering, your energy far off the charts of anything near the realm of what she’s used to. “Thank god,” you laugh, clapping your hands together as you look her over for probably the first real time since she entered the room. “I was so worried I was gonna get a total bitch, but you seem sweet, so, again, thank god.” Another bell-ringing laugh.

“You have a nice laugh.” Fuck. Again. Her and her big mouth. “Sorry! I didn’t–”

“It's fine! Thank you," you keep the pretty smile on your face as you continue to look over Cate, a tint to your cheeks appearing briefly before you’re back to talking, something she’s starting to get the sense you do a lot (not that she minds, not if it means she gets to keep hearing your voice). "Oh, your hair is so gorgeous," you lift a hand from where it’s clasped in front of your chest to briefly lift a strand of Cate's blonde hair, admiring the clips she has in place.

Cate feels her pulse quicken. “Uh... thanks. It’s just, you know... hair,” she laughs nervously, unsure what else to say. Your touch, though brief, leaves behind a warmth that spreads through her chest, and it’s making her head spin

You smile brightly, seemingly unaware of how much you're affecting her. “Y’know, you and me? We’re going to be best friends. I can already tell.” 

Cate’s face flushes instantly. "Oh, um... yeah! That’d be cool." Her voice cracks slightly as she tries to match your enthusiasm, and she winces inwardly. You sound so sure of yourself, have so much conviction in your voice that Cate can hardly do anything other than believe your words. It’s overwhelming, in the best way, but she feels like she’s drowning in it. She’s not used to this kind of attention directed at her. You’re all smiles, your energy is infectious, and it’s making her feel out of place for not being able to respond how she wants to. She knows what she wants to say, but that’s almost never what leaves her mouth.

Still in the back of her head, there’s a wiggling part that kinda smarts at what you say. Best friends. That’s exactly what she needs, she thinks, a genuine best friend, though that thought directed at you makes her chest tighten in a way she doesn’t know how to handle, for reasons she doesn’t want to think about.

“You seem... really sweet, too,” Cate admits, biting her lip the moment the words leave her mouth. She hates how transparent she’s being but with you... it’s hard to hide how much she’s already attached.

Your smile grows even warmer. “Good! ‘Cause I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me, Cate.”

Cate lets out a nervous laugh, trying to mask the overwhelming flood of emotions that sentence sparks. "Yeah... I’m okay with that." More than okay, she thinks, but she can’t say that out loud.

—

It’s late, and the two of you are sitting on the loveseat couch in your dorm room that you’d somehow managed to acquire (somehow being you sweet-talking a frat boy out of one, not that anyone else needed to know that), mid-way through watching some animated movie Cate can’t remember the name of but you’d forced her to watch (‘forced’ meaning you asked her once to watch it and she caved) once you realized she’d never seen it. You’ve been leaning against Cate’s side for most of it, your head resting on her shoulder, legs thrown over the arm of the couch, and she’s been tense the whole time, back ramrod straight, trying her best not to move too much, not to let her nerves show. She’s terrified that if she moves, you’ll realize how fast her heart is racing.

It’s silent in the room until you let out a soft sigh, shifting slightly where you’re laying basically your entire body against her side. Cate can’t help but somehow stiffen up more. This doesn’t escape your notice, just like anything else that has to do with her, and you lift your head, turning it to look at her.

“You okay?” The concern in your voice makes her heart squeeze and she makes a conscious effort to relax a little. 

“Yeah,” she slips you a tight smile, her eyes darting back and forth between the screen and your face. More than okay if she���s being honest.

You nod, a soft hum of contentment leaving your lips as you lay your head back down on her shoulder, pulling your legs closer to you on the couch and loosely wrapping an arm around hers. Cate’s breath hitches despite her best efforts to focus on anything other than your bare palm on her arm. “Yeah,” you echo, the sound full of a kind of relaxation Cate desperately wishes she could hit.

It falls silent in the room again, the neon colors on the screen glowing brightly around the room, casting long shadows where the light can’t quite reach. There’s almost something either poetic or ironic in that, Cate thinks. Maybe she could figure it out if she could think about something other than the heat of your skin or your breath fanning out over her arm, your eyes still focused solely on the screen.

She feels like she should say something more, but the words get stuck in her throat, but all she can think about is how warm you feel against her, how much she wants this moment to last forever.

You glance up at her again, noticing the distant look on her face, and nudge her with a playful grin. "You’re still watching, right?" you tease, your voice light but laced with affection. “This is my favorite part.”

Cate blinks, momentarily startled, then forces a sheepish smile. “Uh, yeah. Totally.” But in reality, she hasn’t processed a single frame of the movie. How could she, when you’re so close? When your every movement sends ripples of warmth through her?

The movie continues to play, but all Cate can focus on is how natural it feels, how right it feels, sitting next to you like this.

—

It’s been a few weeks since you two moved in together, and Cate is slowly starting to feel more comfortable around you. She’s still a little awkward, old habits die hard (especially ones like hers), but she’s not as jumpy as she used to be. Especially not now when, where there used to be hard spots of tension in every silence between you two, are now small, quiet moments that are more comforting than they are terrifying.

So today, when you suggested grabbing coffee at the campus café, Cate agreed. Even if the thought of spending time alone with you, even if it is in a public space, still makes her heart race, she just couldn’t find it in herself to say no this time. She’s sitting across from you, absently stirring her drink as you talk about anything and everything, your hands doing most of the speaking for you when you bring it up. 

“So…” She can already tell you think you’re taking a risk bringing it up, which makes her stomach twist a little. “There’s this little hangout thing – not a party!” You reassure immediately, hand coming up to stop any protests she might have, already well aware that parties aren’t her thing; too many people, too much noise, too much of a risk of something bad happening. “It’s not a party, it’s just, like, five or six people, I swear.”

“You should come with me!” you say, your eyes lighting up. “It’ll be fun, I promise.” It’s a long shot, asking her to go to a party (or anything, really), and you both know it, but you never skip asking her anyway, despite her numerous rejections. It makes her feel… warm? That you never give up on her. That alone makes her reconsider her usual knee-jerk reaction of saying ‘no’.

Her fingers toy with the rim of her cup, buying her a moment to think. “I don’t know...” she begins, her voice hesitant. “Parties aren’t really my thing.” She glances up at you, biting her lip. “But... maybe.”

You nearly spill your coffee as you sit up straighter, eyes wide and a hopeful smile on your face. “Wait—really? You’d come?”

Cate feels her heart skip a beat at your genuine surprise and excitement. A small, tentative smile pulls at her lips, and for once, she lets herself enjoy the idea. “Yeah,” she shrugs, trying to sound casual even though her heart is racing. “Why not, right?”

You grin from ear to ear, letting out a little squeal of excitement, making her feel a little braver for saying yes. “This is awesome, Cate! You won’t regret it, I swear.”

She hopes you’re right.

—

Later that night, Cate stands in front of the mirror, adjusting her shirt nervously for what feels like the hundredth time. She’s never been comfortable with events like this, even if it is nothing big, just a small gathering with some people from your class like you’d said. Despite the anxiety gnawing at her, she’s determined to at least try, especially since it means spending more time with you outside of classes. She tugs at the sleeves of her shirt, her eyes lingering on her gloves.

Your soft knock on the open closet door pulls her from her thoughts. You poke your head around it, a playful grin on your face. “You ready?”

Nope. She is absolutely in no way prepared for this. At all. Cate takes a deep breath, her lips quirking into a small, hesitant smile. “Yup,” she chirps, though there’s still audible uncertainty in her voice.

You walk over to her, gently reaching out to fix a stray strand of hair that’s fallen out of place. Your fingers barely graze her skin, but it’s enough to send her pulse racing. “You look great, Cate.”

Cate’s breath catches at the compliment, and she gives a soft, nervous laugh. “Thanks,” she murmurs, her cheeks flushing ever so slightly. “You too. I mean, you also look great.” She's not entirely sure that covers it.

You grab your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. “Don’t worry,” you say reassuringly, “I’ll be right there with you the whole time.”

For some reason, that promise makes all the difference. Cate takes another steadying breath and follows you to the door, feeling just a little braver with you by her side.

Maybe tonight, she’ll finally stop holding herself back.

—

A few weeks later and the two of you are lying on your beds, the lights dimmed, just talking about anything and everything. These late-night conversations have become a nightly routine since moving in together, and Cate is starting to feel like she can really open up to you in ways she hasn’t with anyone else. There's something about the quiet of the room, the gentle rhythm of your voice, and the way you listen without judgment that makes her feel... safe, she thinks. 

You stretch out, letting your arm dangle off the edge of the bed, glancing over at her. “Hey, Cate,” you ask softly, “what’s your family like?”

Cate hesitates, staring up at the ceiling. She’s never been good at talking about them—the weight of her past always feels too heavy, too personal. But with you, it doesn’t feel quite as suffocating. There's something about the way you ask, like you’re genuinely interested, but not pushing her to share more than she’s comfortable with. She still isn’t sure how much she wants to reveal, but the silence that follows your question is patient, giving her room to breathe.

She finally speaks, her voice low. “My family’s... complicated.” She shifts slightly on her bed, pulling at the sleeve of her shirt. “I don’t really talk to them much anymore.”

You turn your head to look at her, your voice soft and full of understanding. “I’m sorry, Cate.”

Cate swallows, feeling a familiar tightness in her chest. She doesn’t want to go too deep, doesn’t want to drag the mood down, so she shrugs, trying to make it seem like it’s not that big of a deal. “It’s okay. I’m... kinda used to it by now.” Her voice wavers slightly, betraying her attempt at nonchalance.

The room falls into a thoughtful silence. It’s not uncomfortable, just heavy with the unspoken weight of everything Cate has never said aloud. You don’t push for more, just let her words hang in the air, like you’re giving her the space to share if she wants to. After a long pause, you break the silence with a soft chuckle.

“You know, I think we’re kind of like family now,” you say, the warmth in your tone unmistakable. You roll over on your side, facing her, your face half-lit by the soft glow from the window. “I mean, we live together, we spend a lot of time together, grocery shopping... pretty much checks all the boxes, right?”

Cate turns her head slightly, surprised by your words. The idea catches her off-guard, but not in a bad way. It’s just... new. “Yeah?” she murmurs, her voice uncertain. “You think so?”

“Definitely,” you say with a grin. “And you don’t have to think about any of that shit with your family right now. You've got me.” You scoot a little closer on your bed, giving her an earnest look. “So... if you ever wanna, like, talk about it, I’m here. But if not, that’s cool too. It won’t hurt my feelings or anything.”

Cate’s heart skips a beat. It’s not the words themselves that get to her—it’s the sincerity behind them. The way you say it, like it’s the most natural thing in the world, makes her feel like maybe she’s not as alone as she thought.

A small, genuine smile tugs at her lips. “Yeah,” she murmurs, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. “I guess.”

You flash her another warm smile, your voice light. “See? I’m not so bad to have around, right?”

Cate chuckles softly, the sound easing some of the tension in her shoulders. “Eh, you’re alright,” she teases gently, heaving an exasperated sounding sigh. “Guess I could do worse.”

You laugh, a playful glint in your eye. “Wow, thanks, I think? High praise coming from you.”

Cate rolls her eyes, but there’s no denying the smile that’s still on her face. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late,” you reply, your grin widening as you settle back into your pillow. The easy banter between you both feels like a balm, soothing the heaviness of the earlier conversation.

—

You and Cate are sitting on the bed, talking like usual, but there’s something different about today—something a little heavier in the air. Cate’s been quieter than normal, her gloved hands resting tensely in her lap, fingers curling and uncurling against the fabric. You can tell something’s bothering her, the way her gaze keeps flicking down to her hands, then back up at you, as if she’s debating something in her head.

You wait for her to speak, sensing that there’s something she wants to say but is struggling to get out. Finally, you reach over and place your hand on top of hers, your thumb tracing gentle circles over the soft leather. “Cate... what’s going on?” Your voice is full of care, inviting her to share what’s going through her head, even when you both know you already know.

It’s silent in the room for a moment before you speak again. “It’s about your gloves, right?” A gross underestimation and you both know it. “You don’t have to wear those if you don’t want to. Not around me.”

Cate’s breath hitches, her eyes widening as she pulls her hands away instinctively. “I– I do,” she whispers, almost like she’s trying to convince herself as much as you. “You don’t understand. If I touch someone, tell them to do something... they have to. I can’t just take it back. What if I say something I don’t mean? What if I hurt you without even realizing it?”

Your expression softens as you scoot closer, your knees brushing against hers. “I trust you, Cate,” you say firmly, but with a gentleness that makes her heart ache. “C’mon, I know you’d never hurt me. Not like that.”

Cate bites her lip, her gaze dropping again to the gloves. She’s heard those words from you before, but it’s hard to believe them, especially when the memories of what happened to her brother still haunt her. “It’s not that simple,” she mutters, her voice tight. “I could slip up. All it takes is– is a touch and a word, and I could—” She stutters through her words before they break off, biting her lip. The thought of losing control terrifies her.

You lean forward, holding her hands tighter, not letting go this time. “I do know,” you say softly, your eyes searching hers. “I know, Cate, what you can do, what happened to your brother, but I also know you. And I’m not scared of you because I know it wasn’t your fault. Not even a little.”

Cate’s breath catches, her heart pounding as she stares at you with wide, searching eyes. No one’s ever said that to her—not like this. Not with so much confidence in her. She wants to believe you, wants to trust that she won’t make a mistake... but the fear of losing control, of saying something she can’t take back, always lingers at the edge of her thoughts.

She looks away, her voice trembling. “But what if—”

“No ‘what ifs,’ Cate,” you interrupt gently, moving her hand up to your cheek, even with the glove still on. “You can take them off. I want you to. Please?”

Cate’s heart pounds, her fingers trembling beneath the leather. She hesitates for a long moment, her mind racing with a hundred different reasons why she shouldn’t. But something about the way you’re holding her hand—like it’s nothing, like you don’t see the danger—makes her want to try.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, she reaches for the edge of one glove, pulling it off with trembling fingers. Her hand feels exposed, vulnerable, but you don’t flinch. You just hold her gaze, calm and patient, as if this is the most natural thing in the world.

She pulls off the second glove, her bare hands now resting in yours. She waits—waits for something to go wrong, for the fear to take over. But nothing happens. You don’t pull away. You don’t flinch. Instead, you gently lift her hand back to your cheek, letting her feel the warmth of your skin.

“See?” you whisper, your voice gentle. “You’re in control, Cate. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

Cate’s breath hitches, her chest tight with emotion. She can hardly believe what’s happening—she’s touching you, skin to skin, and it’s okay. It’s more than okay. It feels... right.

“I never thought I’d be able to do this,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. “I was so scared I’d mess up... that I’d say something and lose you.”

You smile softly, still holding her hand against your cheek. “You don’t have to be afraid, not with me. I trust you, Cate. I always have.”

Cate’s heart swells, the weight of her fear slowly lifting. For the first time in what feels like forever, she feels safe. Not just because of your touch, but because of the way you believe in her—like she’s more than just her power, more than her fear.

“I... I trust you too,” she finally whispers, a small smile tugging at her lips. She holds onto your touch, the warmth of your hand grounding her in a way she’s never felt before. “Thank you. For believing in me.”

And in that moment, with your hand in hers, the fear that’s haunted her for so long feels just a little bit lighter. Light enough to get everything else off of her chest.

Cate swallows hard, feeling like her heart’s going to burst right out of her chest. She tries to steady herself, but the weight of everything she’s been bottling up is too much. She glances down at her hands, then back at you, and before she can stop herself, the words start to spill out—awkward, messy, but real. “I... I’m scared because... because I care about you. Like, a lot. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone, and... and the thought of hurting you... it just—it freaks me out.”

She looks away as soon as she says it, like she’s half-expecting you to laugh or push her away. But you don’t. Her heart skips a beat when she hears your voice, soft and closer than she expected.

Your heart skips a beat at her confession, but you don’t pull away. “Cate, you’re not gonna hurt me.” You lean in, your voice a little quieter, a little more vulnerable. “I care about you too... more than you know.”

Her head snaps up, eyes wide as she stares at you like she can’t believe what she just heard. “Wait... you—you do?”

“Yeah.” You nod, looking just as nervous but still smiling a little. “I’ve felt like this for a while. I just... didn’t know how to say it.”

Cate opens her mouth, but all that comes out is this weird little half-laugh, half-gasp sound, like she’s trying to process it all. “You’re serious? You like... you’ve liked me?”

“Yeah. For a while now.”

There’s this awkward pause where you’re both kind of just staring at each other, unsure of what to say next. Cate lets out a shaky breath, her fingers twitching in your grasp, and she looks down again, her voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

Your smile softens, and you reach out, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You don’t have to think about that. I’m not going anywhere.”

Cate’s throat tightens, and she feels her eyes starting to sting. She blinks quickly, trying to hold back the tears, but it’s no use. They’re not just tears of fear anymore. It’s everything—relief, hope, something she hasn’t let herself feel in a long time. She leans in without really thinking, her forehead resting against yours, her voice barely audible, trembling just a little.

“Promise?” she whispers, her breath warm against your skin.

You nod, your eyes closing as you hold her just a little tighter. “Promise.”

In that moment, Cate finally lets herself believe it might be okay.

[chirpingfromthebox]

Looks like the article is back up. Although one comment on it says that this version has been edited from what was initially put up. I never saw the original one so I can't say anything about that.

I'll put the text of it under the break lest it goes down again.

New Allegations Emerge, Trouble Continues To Mount In Minnesota

More members of PWHL Minnesota's 2024 Walter Cup winning team continue to step forward adding to the allegations the organization is facing.

--Ian Kennedy

***Trigger Warning: Please note this article references ableist language.

PWHL Minnesota's offseason has been rife with controversy. Following reports of a "toxic" and "unprofessional" environment from a former staff member this week, new allegations have been made regarding the conduct of head coach Ken Klee.

Minnesota first made news just over a week after the team won the inaugural Walter Cup when the league dismissed general manager Natalie Darwitz from her role, citing "extensive both internal and external reviews" showing that "there wasn't a path forward with the current personnel as a whole in place."

Three additional staff members from Minnesota's 2024 Walter Cup winning team - assistant coach Jake Bobrowski, goalie coach Brennan Poderzay and skills coach Johnny Seibel - were let go earlier this week by head coach Ken Klee. In an interview with The Hockey News, a former staff of PWHL Minnesota, who requested anonymity, described the team culture as "a very toxic environment."

In one example provided to The Hockey News, the former staff member stated, "The rumbling from the "lower end girls," were that basically they feel bullied by the veterans and the leadership group, because they're all tight with Ken (Klee) and they've got Ken's ear. Ken was telling players to not go on the ice because they were taking reps away from the important players who were actually going to play."

Following that report, more members of the 2024 PWHL Minnesota staff and roster spoke to The Hockey News regarding issues and conduct they'd witnessed this season, specifically related to PWHL Minnesota head coach Ken Klee.

Multiple individuals alleged Klee would often use the word "retarded" when addressing players and in conversation. Additionally Klee nicknamed a younger player on the roster "Dumbo," a nickname he openly used.

A player from PWHL Minnesota's 2024 roster, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, also alleged that while watching game film, Klee made a statement regarding the race of an opposing player.

The PWHL stated they will continue to investigate the claims and act accordingly based on their findings. The league stated they are committed to an inclusive and respectful work environment.

“The PWHL is committed to fostering a culture and workplace environment that is inclusive, respectful, and free from misconduct," the PWHL said in an emailed statement to The Hockey News. "From the beginning of the league, personnel have been assessed through various means, including external professional reviews, an anonymous tip line, and internal evaluations. We hold ourselves to the highest standards. All reports are taken seriously, and we will continue to investigate, assess, and act accordingly based on our findings.”

Minnesota won the inaugural PWHL title on May 29, 2024. The 2024-2025 season is expected to begin in late November or early December.

The PWHL posted a job listing this week to begin searching for a new general manager to fill the role in Minnesota.

[risestarkiss]

So this is my newest video, of which has been subtitled into six different languages: Chinese, English, French, German, Korean, and Spanish!

I'm so happy about that because I wanted to make it a point for my videos to be inclusive: English subtitles for the hearing impaired, and cc'ed in different languages for people from all backgrounds to enjoy.

I'm still working on subtitling this and my other videos into more languages...but I just wanted to give that little update! 😌

💜💜💜

○○○○ 💜 RiseStarKiss Studios on Youtube | My Kofi Tip Jar 💜

[604to647]

Safest with You (Ch. 13 - The Birthday)

6.1K / Modern AU Retired Mob Enforcer!Din Djarin x fem!reader

Summary: You and Din attend Boba Fett’s birthday gala.

Warnings: Brief description of violence (I won't tag it to avoid spoilers, but the action happens within the chapter and isn't an past incident being described), brief description of blood/wound (nothing explicit or too descriptive), fluff, established relationship, pet names as usual (pretty bird, baby, sweetheart, etc.), reader is described as shorter than Din and he lifts her off her feet once.

A/N: I made the title picture and did my best to crop and filter the dress so that it remains as inclusive as possible. As a new writer, being inclusive with the written word isn't something I have very much practice with, but much like writing smut, in order to get better, I will have to practice. I'm trying to be more mindful (ex. avoiding blushing) and it is my intention to go back and edit previous chapters to be more inclusive; at the very least, I'll be tagging more descriptions if needed. Thanks for being patient with me as I learn and improve and as always for reading!

Series Masterlist                                                                                   

"How are you single?"

It’s not a serious question; you and Din have already shared your respective dating histories, including lessons of love lost, lessons learned, hopes renewed.  You pose the question, completely unserious, an enthusiastic response to his suggestion that the two of you turn on the Korean dating show that you had been watching at the nail salon.  You and Lala had gone to get your nails done after brunch, and Din stopped by to pick you up, bringing both you and Lala, and your manicurist, coffees.  He patiently sat next to you as Mary polished your tips, and you and Lala chatted while watching the foreign language reality show the salon had selected.  From the corner of your eye, you noticed that Din had become engrossed in the show as well, but never said anything.  Apparently, since leaving the salon mid-episode, you’ve both been equally eager to find out who the contestants chose for their “Paradise” dates.

“Just your luck, I guess,” he quips, planting a quick kiss on your nose as you unlock your front door. 

Al looks up from the couch as you come in, and deducing that you’re coming his way, decides he doesn’t need to dignify getting up for pets.  Flopping down on the couch and vigorously rubbing your dog’s head, you turn on the TV and scroll to the part of the episode you were watching when your nail appointment ended.

Din throws his arm around you so he can give Al some scritches as well, and says, nonchalantly, “And I suppose there hasn’t been anyone that I thought would pass Boba’s inspection.”

“Boba’s inspection?” you exclaim, aghast.

“Well, no, not like an inspection, more like he likes to meet the people dating… well, really anyone in the family, to see if it’s a good… fit,” his voice trailing off at the end when he sees the horrified look on your face.

“I have to get a mob boss’ permission to date my boyfriend??!?!” 

“I wouldn’t call it ‘permission’.”

You look pointedly at Din, “So like, his… approval?”

Din tries a different tactic, “I don’t know why you’re worried, pretty bird.  How could he not love you?  You’ll pass with flying colours.”

“Pass??! Is there a date set for this test?”

“… no?”

Sitting up straight, you tilt your head in annoyance, “Din Djarin.”

“Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to be my date to Boba’s birthday party gala in two weeks.  It’s a big event, hundreds of people are invited, very formal, very fancy.  I thought it might be a nice time for the two of you to meet.”

You don’t say anything, mind already swimming with anxiety.

“There will be dancing.  Lots of dancing,” Din pokes at you, “and it’s a white party, so maybe you might like it if I took you shopping for a new dress?”

You make a silly face at Din, because you know he already expects your response, “No, no, I can pay for my own dress, Din.  It’s formal… like black tie?”

Din can see your brain already switching to planning mode, “Yes, I think that’s what it’s called?  I have to wear a white tuxedo jacket and a black bow tie.”

“Have to?”

“Yes, Fennec had a meeting with all the Mandos about dress code yesterday,” grimaces Din, “Just because you’re working the event doesn’t mean you will look like staff.”

You giggle.  Din’s told you about Fennec Shand before; Boba had saved her from the brink of death after some coward shot her point blank in the stomach after a mugging.  Boba had also tracked down the punk and made him pay tenfold while she was still in the hospital recovering from surgery; a surgery that Boba paid for.  Once fully recovered, Fennec declared her intention to fulfill what she considered a blood debt, and became Boba’s right-hand woman as he rose to power.  Fiercely loyal with a strategic mind that rivaled most army generals, she was the decisive and fearsome consigliere that Boba needed.  She was also secretly, his wife.  Din told you in confidence that Boba and Fennec had quietly fallen in love and married years ago, though few knew about it.   Din only knew because his father had been the witness at the courthouse nuptials.  Outwardly, they maintained the stoic, no nonsense appearance of boss and advisor for their own privacy and also for their protection, removing the temptation for anyone to use their relationship against them. 

You have to admit, you’re sort of curious to see this dynamic for yourself.  And the prospect of seeing Din in a tux holds its own special appeal. “Ok, let me see if any of the girls want to go dress shopping with me on Wednesday,” you pick up your phone and start typing as Din presses a loving kiss to your head.

You step out of the cab in front of the Coruscant Plaza Hotel, careful to gather the skirts of your dress so you don’t step on them as you make your way to the carpeted entrance of the hotel.  As your heels touch the covered staircase, you drop the fabric and let the soft satin pool at your feet and flow outward as you walk towards the host at the podium.  You give a little wave to Paz who’s standing sentry at the door before handing your invitation over to the man checking your name off the guest list; he uses a blacklight to reveal the invisible bar code on the back and scans it to finish your check in before welcoming you to the party.  You immediately bound up the rest of the stairs to hug Paz.

“Looking good, Lil’ Lady,” says Paz, as he envelopes you in a big bear hug.

“Same, same to you,” you grin. 

Due to the importance and scale of tonight’s event, Din’s help with security was required and you weren’t able to arrive together; in fact, you haven’t seen him all day, so by now, you’re vibrating with excitement to see him all dressed up, and for him to see you in your dress.  Paz nudges you gently and whispers, “Turn right at the front desk and he’ll be in the big ballroom at the end of the hall.” 

You give him a quick peck on the cheek as thanks, and tell him you’ll see him later as you head in.  The lobby of the hotel is filled with people, all dressed beautifully and very on theme: the women in elegant and expensive looking white outfits and adorned with bright, sparkling accessories, the men all very dashing in white formalwear.  You yourself have on a minimalist white satin gown, with a wide off the shoulder cuffed neckline; the pleating around the middle flatters your waistline before flaring out elegantly into a full skirt.  The skirt is free flowing and light, concealing your favourite part: a mid-thigh slit that runs up the middle front; only on display when you’re moving swiftly, say, when dancing.  It’s actually a wedding dress, but you won’t tell Din that.  After describing to the girls what you were imagining for a dress, Rory had told you to just come down to her work as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, which in retrospect, it probably was.  No one aside from her closest friends and co-workers would be able to guess that the gruff and intimidating Rory was actually an incredibly successful bridal consultant, one of the most sought after in the city, in fact.  Just from listening to you detail what you wanted once, she was able to pull the exact dress you’re wearing tonight from the rack, get you in for a fitting the next day, with the alterations done within the week.  When you told Rory she was your hero, she had brushed it off like it was nothing, which to her it probably was; but to you, this dress is everything.

Din spots you before you spot him, such is the advantage of having the high ground.  The ballroom is grand, easily accommodating a thousand people; half the room has been set-up with round dining tables with opulent centre pieces and fine dinnerware, ready for the guests to feast.  The remaining half is left open for stand-up cocktails and schmoozing and for dancing later; at this end of the room there is live band playing light jazz at the base of a double staircase that leads up to the second floor.  These symmetrical staircases connect at an elegantly railed landing that serves as the entry point for the second-floor mezzanine balcony that encircles and overlooks all of the ballroom below.  It’s on this landing that Din currently stands, chatting with Boba, Fennec, Poe and his wife Lisa; Woves and Brian stand guard a little further behind, and although out of sight, Bo and Santos are also on the mezzanine, ensuring that no one tries to come in via the locked second floor entrance.  From this vantage point, Boba can see everyone who comes in, who they’re with, and who they’re talking to, which is of course, the point. 

When Din sees you, he feels the breath knocked out of his lungs by how stylish and stunning you look; to him, you're easily the most beautiful the woman in the room.  He watches you stride effortlessly across the ballroom floor like you’re used to attending grand events every day, your dress floating around you in an almost dreamlike fashion, turning heads as you go by.  The dress fits you perfectly.  Your alluring curves accentuated by the garment’s simple design, enticing him even though you’re not showing much skin; save for the flash of leg that peeks out through a high slit that he’s only now noticing as you move through the crowd scanning for him.  He can’t take his eyes off of you.

“Go to her and bring her up here with us,” says Boba, a knowing smile at seeing Din so awestruck.  Din is gratified by Boba’s request, bringing a non-family member up to the private gathering normally a security risk he himself would advise against; Boba’s invitation is an extension of his trust and love for Din, and how eager he is to meet the woman Din is clearly besotted with.  Just as Din heads down to collect you, you’re turning your pretty face up and smiling at the group.  Poe has been waving enthusiastically, both of his arms gesturing wildly over his head, and you had caught the movement out of the corner of your eye, leading you to look to the top of the staircase.  But it’s Din that holds your attention once you spot him. 

He's wearing a white tuxedo jacket that’s fitted to his frame perfectly, sharply hugging his broad shoulders and hard chest.  As dashing as this jacket and his pressed black dress pants make him look, it’s really his tousled curly hair falling across his forehead and slightly askew black bow tie that have you forgetting how to breathe for a moment.  He’s a fucking dreamboat.  When you make eye contact, a devastating smile spreads across his face, framed handsomely by his salt and pepper scruff.  You don’t care how it looks to the dignified guests that are milling around the ballroom, you gather your skirts to pick the fabric off the ground and make hurry towards the staircase, so eager to be with him.  Din sees you break out into a semi-jog and quickens his steps down the stairs to meet you, not wanting to wait a second longer than necessary to feel you in his arms. 

You meet just two steps away from the bottom of the stairs, your arms flying up around Din’s neck, his hands meeting your waist; you’re lifted slightly as he gives you a little twirl before setting you down gently and pressing his lips to yours, “You look beautiful, pretty bird.”  You beam at him and place both your hands on the sides of his face, running your thumbs through his facial hair that you love so much, “You’re a total knockout, Din.”  He blushes a little at your compliment.  Holding one of your hands above your head, he gives you a little spin, accompanied by a low whistle before offering up his arm for you to hold, “You’ve been invited up.  Are you ready to meet Boba?”

A look of sheer panic flashes over your face before you take a deep breathe, compose yourself and take Din’s arm; he places his hand over yours and walks you up the stairs.  You whisper, “What happens if he doesn’t like me?  Do we have to break-up?”

“Yes,” Din whispers back, grinning.

You punch him in the shoulder with your free hand, and he laughs loudly but drops his voice to reassure you, “You don’t have anything to worry about, he’ll love you.  I love you.  Poe loves you.  Look, he’s talking you up right now.”

You look up in horror, “I’m doomed.”  Din leans over to kiss you and the two of you share a chuckle in this final private moment before reaching the landing.

Din makes the introductions and you shake hands with everyone except Poe who gives you a big hug; you try not to let his hug linger and give his wife what you hope is a friendly smile. 

Boba is… impressive. 

Size wise, he’s shorter than Din, roughly the same height as Poe, but he’s… solid.  Built like a rugby player; you can tell he’s a wall of muscle under his tuxedo and he has the presence of a man who dominates and commands.  More than that, he exudes a quiet but authoritative charisma and carries himself like a man that’s listened to.  What strikes you the most though is the resting expression of his face.  He seems weathered.  Experienced.  And his eyes are wise but not unkind.  When his face finally changes, it’s to an expression of curiosity, which shouldn’t seem intimidating, but somehow is.  Like he’s studying you, trying to find the answer to a question you didn't know was asked, and you somehow know that whatever answer he arrives at will be acknowledged as truth.  The thing about Boba that makes you the most nervous though, is not any of this, and not even that he’s a mob boss (something you don’t think you really understand anyways), but it’s that he is a father-like figure to Din.  This is a man who helped raised Din.  He trusts Din and Din trusts him.  He’s a big part of who Din is today.  And yet, these very same thoughts are also the ones that calm you, and immediately endear him to you. 

With a rush of warmth towards the man, you wish Boba a very happy birthday, and shyly produce a small gift box from your purse, no bigger than a ring box.  Din is surprised, as is Boba; gifts aren’t expected from guests, but when they are given (and many do give), they’re usually opulent and extravagant, often monetary in nature.  Din didn’t know you had prepared anything.  Amused, Boba lifts the lid of the box and pulls out a small jade figurine. 

“Din told me that you rescue pit bulls, so I had this carved from some jade that I’ve held on to for something special.  Some say jade protects and heals, promotes balance and harmony, so I thought it might be nice for your birthday,” you finish, uncharacteristically timid.  Din is looking at you with astonishment and something close to veneration.

Boba holds up the little dog figurine to the light and admires it; Fennec leans over to look at it too and says, almost with wonder, “Looks like Mochi.”

“It really does.”

You nod, “Din showed me a picture of your dogs.  Mochi is the littlest one?  The white one?  I asked them to use him as reference.”

“Mochi is the smallest, but he’s been with me the longest,” says Boba fondly, “Took him out of a fighting pit myself.  Scrappy little guy.  Total love bug.”

Boba looks at the carving wistfully for a moment longer before placing it gently back in the small box and placing it in his pocket; his eyes are bit shiny when he holds out his arms to you, “Thank you, my dear.  I love it.”  You look over Boba’s shoulder as you embrace him and see Din smiling brightly at you.  Boba invites you stay on the landing with the group, and you find yourself becoming more and more charmed by the man.  He asks you about Al, Din clearly having shared some information about you, and you bond further over your mutual love of dogs.  He takes great joy in pointing out interesting guests filtering into the ballroom below; you’re dizzy from the caliber of the guests: there’s the mayor and several city council members, the chief of police, bankers, partners from big law and financial firms (Do you see your boss’ boss’ boss?!), several members of the city’s professional baseball and hockey teams, and you think you even catch a glimpse of a few pop stars.  Poe has stories about every notable guest and regales your group non-stop so you’re all laughing, even Lisa. 

When it grows close to the dinner hour, Boba sees Paz standing at the foot of the stairs and announces that it’s time for him to go down and hobnob with a few guests before food service starts; as he, Poe, and Din move to descend to the main floor, Din places his hands gently on your face and leans in to tenderly kiss you, letting you know he has to go with Boba, and asks if you’re okay to stay here with Lisa.  You nod, just now remembering that Din is working tonight. 

You and Lisa chat amiably as the men weave through the crowd, Boba glad handling guests and making everyone feel welcome.  When you feel like she’s warming up to you a bit, you tell Lisa how nervous you were to meet Boba, and her expression softens, “You’re doing totally fine, hun.  Honestly, when he saw Din running down to you, it was a done deal.  Boba loves Din like a son.  Poe loves him like a brother.  We haven’t seen Din this happy in a long time.”  You smile gratefully at her, feeling yourself getting emotional.  This cinches it for Lisa and she decides to take you under her wing, pointing out some of the other guests the men hadn’t mentioned earlier and giving you the tea on the whose who of the family, how they’re related, if they’re related, past and present petty feuds, and tidbits of any scandal.  You’re having so much fun, the two of you gossiping and giggling like old schoolmates, you don’t even notice that Din has returned until his strong arms wrap around your waist and his scruff is tickling you behind your ear as he presses a gentle kiss to your temple.

“Come on, pretty bird, it’s time to eat.”

You turn to head down the stairs, but Din chuckles and takes your hand, leading you towards the mezzanine, “You eat up here with us, baby.”

Hidden second floor doors are opened to reveal several large but intimately set rooms, all interconnected, each hosting beautifully set dining tables and fully staffed bars.  People that you assume are close friends of Boba or somehow part of the Fett family (you try very hard to correctly recall the details of everything Lisa shared with you) file in and greet each other like old friends before selecting their seats.  Boba holds court at a large table at the centre of the room you’re in, laughing joyously and raising his glass over and over as Fennec sits poker-faced by his side.  You sit at a table with Din, Poe, Lisa, Paz and a few guys that Poe seems to know well.  Always appreciative of a familiar face, you wave when you see the other Mandos standing guard, or filtering in and out the rooms and between tables, and you hope they get a chance to eat too.  The food is incredible, Boba truly spared no expense; delicious plates of appetizers, salad, pasta, grilled meats, seafood keep appearing, a never-ending parade of delicacies.  When you see poor Jimmy practically drooling at the T-bone that Poe leaves untouched on his plate, you take to buttering some bread and slipping the rolls to the Mandos that walk by.  Dinner is lovely, the company and conversation is lively; you really couldn’t feel more comfortable, especially with Din non-stop doting on you. 

When the main dinner service is finished and the dessert carts start making their rounds, you hear the music downstairs kick up in volume and finally, the hungry Mandos take turns sitting down at your table shoveling food into their mouths from plates piled high.  The atmosphere is relaxed, the mood of everyone in these private rooms is festive and merry, though lowkey compared to the wild sounds of partying you can hear floating up from below.  Full and proud of yourself for having not spilled on your white dress, you’re tapping your spoon on the top of your crème brulé when you feel, rather than see Din stiffen next to you; the hand that had found the slit of your dress, pressing down on your thigh where it had been casually resting.

“Pretty bird, get down,” he whispers.  To your eye, there’s nothing amiss with the scene, you see a few people standing around the room chatting, drinks in hand.  Several people are at the bar, others lounging back in their chairs or milling in between rooms.  Everyone is smiling and looking like they’re having a great time… wait, not everyone…

You slide off your chair down to your knees the second that Din requests, never questioning him, and he immediately yells, “GET DOWN!” Din and Paz stand in unison and move as one unit, years of partnership and trust kicking in as they wordlessly communicate where the danger is and what needs to be done.  Every Mando in the room moves a split second later, following their fearless leaders in flawlessly executing maneuvers to identify, subdue, protect without any verbal commands to do so.  Paz heads straight for Boba, with Jimmy, Woves and Bo following; the shooter gets one shot off just as Paz tackles him to the ground, puts up a futile effort to wrestle for the gun before the submitting to the Mandos that pin him to the ground.  The second shooter doesn’t even get that far, not even raising his arm to shoot before Din takes him out from behind; Din’s elbows and fists make quick work of the intruder, bringing him crashing to his knees before Din’s strength forces him to release the gun with a yelp.  Din swiftly kicks the gun away before restraining the gunman on the floor, knee on his back, arms held and secured.  The whole thing is over in a manner of seconds, no one screams and the party downstairs doesn’t even register the gunshot, music still playing loud and uninterrupted.

Din looks over at you, panting as he pulls the offender to his feet; you give Din a little nod and what you hope are soft eyes to let him know you’re okay.  You see the relief in his eyes before he starts to haul the struggling man out of the room, following Paz and the other Mandos.  You’ve never seen him in action before and frankly… it was extraordinary.  Sure, you’ve seen Din spar in the ring at the gym, but that was nothing compared to the display of speed, determination and force that you just saw.  The way he knew exactly what to do and wasted no movement, every strike and application of strength purposeful and effective, and even the way he sensed that something was wrong before anyone else did, you can see why Din had been Boba’s top enforcer for so many years.  You find yourself filled with awe and pride.

After helping Lisa to her feet and leaving her with an amped up Poe, you hurry over to Boba’s side when you see a red stain blossoming on his upper left shirt sleeve, “Are you okay?”

“Don’t worry, dear.  It’s just a scratch,” he smiles when he sees your dubious look.

Fennec reappears with a first aid kit in her hand, but doesn’t sit or open the kit.

“You can go with the Mandos, I know you want to,” says Boba softly.

Fennec hesitates, eyes shifting between Boba’s arm and the doorway through which the Mandos had dragged the would-be assassins, torn.

You hold out your hands for the kit and volunteer supportively, “I can help.”

Boba gives Fennec a small nod, and she cautiously hands you the first aid kit before leaving to join the Mandos.

Opening the kit to see what you’re working with, you say to Boba with a little bit of embarrassment, “I think we’ll have to get that arm out of your shirt.”

To your surprise, Boba nods and then proceeds to rip the sleeve clean off of his shirt with his other hand, leaving his bleeding arm bare.

“Well, I guess that’s one way to do it,” you chuckle.  Finding an unused dinner napkin still folded in its pretty crown shape, you wet it with water from the pitcher on the table.  “I’m just going to clean away all the blood first, sorry if it stings,” you say as you hold up the cloth to Boba’s arm.

“No worries, darling girl. I’ve had worse.”

“Oh, I bet.  Are people always trying to kill you?” you ask in what you hope is a teasing voice.

“Probably.  But the Mandos don’t let usually them get this close,” ponders Boba, “Din and Paz have trained them very well.”  You smile at this, and when Boba sees the proud look you have on your face, he smiles back too, “Whoever did this took advantage of the party, the crowd, everyone having a good time.”  You nod as you lean back to survey the wound now that all the excess blood has been cleaned off.  It’s not too bad, a graze, really.  A deep graze, but it doesn’t look like it needs stitches.  It needs a good cleaning, some pressure and then you think a thick covering of gauze should stop it from bleeding through to Boba’s white dinner jacket.  You let Boba know the game plan as you open an antiseptic wipe, “This is going to sting for sure.”

“I’ll be fine, thank you.  You’re quite adept at this.  Does Din have you stitch him up?”

Lightly laughing, you shake your head, “No, he doesn’t really like me to see him hurt.  I think he thinks I have a tender heart.”

Nodding with an air of understanding, Boba says gently, “I think you do.  That’s what makes you a good match for the boy.  He doesn’t look it, but Din has a tender heart, too.”

You look up at him and beam at that, “He really does.  I feel like he’s always taking care of other people.  He takes such good care of me.  I’m still getting used to it, to be honest.”  You finish with the wipe and open a large-size sterile gauze pad to place over the wound, “Put some pressure on that please.”

While you wait for the bleeding to stop, you look around the room.  It’s fairly empty now; most of the Mandos left earlier of course, leaving only a few still standing guard (Brian, Woves, Iggy), but the remainder of the guests seemed to have filtered out as well, putting some distance between themselves and the incident, rejoining the party that you can hear is still in full swing.

“Do you really think I’m a good match for Din?”  You’re not sure why you’re asking a man you barely know for his opinion on your relationship, except that you know this man means a great deal to the man that you love.

Boba looks thoughtful at your question, “Din’s a natural leader, he’s strategic, good at understanding the nature of people and seeing the big picture.  In our line of business, this can be an asset but also spell trouble, or at least lead to people handling power very poorly.  But not Din, he never sought power.  Too selfless.  He’s always put family first, and understood that being the head of the pack just means taking care of the pack.  Not a lot of men would have given up their position in an organization like ours to take care of their father, but for Din it was a no brainer – he’s always taking care of others." 

"His father and I used to always worry if it was possible for Din to meet someone who was just as selfless as him, who would take care of him equally and ease some of the burden he takes upon himself being responsible for so many others – or if he would ultimately settle for quite happily taking care of his partner like he does so many others.”

You can’t help it, a few tears prick the corner of your eyes.  Yes, Boba is describing your Din to a T; your Din, always being the giver, the caretaker, the protector, and not expecting or requiring the same treatment back.  A tear escapes and rolls down your face and you look down to brush it away quickly under the guise of looking through the first aid kit for the gauze wrap.

When you look back at Boba to remove his hand from his wound, he’s smiling at you and your poor attempt to conceal your emotions, “Yes, I think you’re the former.  Yes, I think you’re a good match for him.”

Welp, that does it.  Your tears spill over, fast and overflowing so that you cannot wipe them away quickly enough while pressing a new pad to the wound and wrapping it to Boba’s arm with the gauze roll.  So you don’t.  You just smile softly while focusing your attention on dressing Boba’s wound, letting the tears slow and fall more gently down your cheeks. “Thank you,” you say in a quiet voice.

“No, thank you,” returns the older man, just as quietly and you know he means for more than bandaging him up.

You’re just securing the ends of the gauze when Din bursts back into the room; he must have been expecting a different scene than what he comes upon, because he instantly relaxes when he takes in the quiet room, only to become alarmed at the sight of your tear-stained cheeks.

“What’s the matter, pretty bird?”  Din looks so concerned as he kneels down beside you, you can’t help as a few more tears fall at the sight of him being so caring and protective, exemplifying what you and Boba had just been discussing.  You try to give him a reassuring smile, “Everything is fine.  Well maybe not Boba’s arm, but it should be soon.”  Din looks up to find the mob boss giving him a similar smile, “What do you have for me?”

Din stands up and leans in to whisper into Boba’s ear.  You don’t hear what he says, but you catch Boba muttering, “Crymorah?” while furrowing his brow in confusion.  Din steps back when he’s done, “Fennec’s still in there.  They’re ready for you.”

Boba gets up and you do as well, instinctively you grab his tuxedo jacket from the back of his chair and hold it up for him; he slips it on easily, though you can tell it’s not without some pain.

He pulls his lapels taught and puffs his chests out, looking at you, “How do I look, my dear?”

He’s trying to make you laugh, and it’s working, “Absolutely ferocious.  Blood-thirsty.  Not at all shot.”  Your eyes shining with mischief.

“Perfect.”  Boba gives your arm a little squeeze, then nods to Din, “You two go back and enjoy the remainder of the party.  Keep an eye on the perimeter, and let anyone know who’s asking that I’ll be out to rejoin the party in 20 minutes.  And above all… have fun.”  After Boba exits with Woves and Brian, Din sweeps you up into his arms and rests his head against your forehead, “Are you really okay, baby?  Why are you crying?”

You tell the truth, “Boba and I were just talking about what a good guy you are.”

“A mob boss telling my girlfriend that his former head enforcer is a good guy?  I don’t know if that’s a reliable source,” jokes Din.

“I dunno,” you say, unable to bite back a grin, “he seems like one of those trustworthy mob bosses.”

“You like him,” Din marvels.

“I do.  He’s kind.  Like you,” you smile adoringly up at Din as the two of you start to head back to the party.

Before you descend the stairs, Din turns you towards him, placing his hands affectionately on either side of your face and leans in so you can hear him over the music, “Pretty bird, how are you feeling about what happened?  I know you must have been scared.”

You close your eyes and tilt your head up for a kiss, which Din happily obliges.  When you open your eyes, you’re nothing but honest, “I think I should have been.  But I wasn’t really.  You told me to get down, you took care of me and even though I didn’t know what was happening, I knew I was safe because you were there.  Din.  You were incredible.  How did you move so fast?  And you took care of that guy like it was nothing.  He never even stood a chance.”

Din blushes at your praise, and rubs his hand on the back of his neck, bashful, “Was lucky.  Don’t move as fast as I used to.”

You won’t let him have any of that, “Luck had nothing to do with it.  You were in total control of the situation the moment you sensed something was up.  You were… magnificent, Din.” You exhale and look at him with admiration your eyes.  Din feels overcome, your praise means everything – even though you had an idea of what he did as a Mando, he had secretly feared that you would recoil from the type of violence he saw regularly if you were to ever encounter it yourself, or worse, recoil from him if you saw him inflict it.  But here you are, telling him he makes you feel safe and not letting him brush over his capabilities and skill.  He pulls you in for a deep kiss, not ever wanting to part his lips from yours, imploring you to open your mouth to his so he can show his appreciation for you, and how you understand and love all of him, through the way his tongue worships you.

*Woooooooooo!!*

Breaking apart, you look down to see Poe and Lisa grinning up at you from the bottom of the stairs, Poe cheering and Lisa waving her hands at the two of you to come down and join the party.  Laughing, you and Din readily join in the fun and dance to the fast tempo number and the next and next, the incident upstairs pushed to the back of your mind.

Later, after Boba has come down to rejoin the party, and Fennec and the Mandos having reappeared to mill around the perimeter of the ballroom, you sway in Din’s arms to a slow song, tired; Din whispers in your ear, “See, told you Boba would love you.  Everyone loves you.”

“Not everyone,” you murmur.

“Oh really?  Name one person who doesn’t like you.”

“Ummm… that guy in the grey suit who spilled coffee all over himself at the coffeeshop the day we met.”

“Hmmm yeah, ok, that guy.  You know, if I ever see that guy again…”

You rest your chin on his chest and look up at Din, eyes twinkling.

“…I’m going to buy him a coffee and give him the biggest thank you.  If it wasn’t for him, we might not have ever met.”

Snuggling back into his chest, you nod, “If you can catch him.  He’d probably run, road runner style if he ever saw you again.”

“Was I very scary that day?”

“A beast.  Terrifying.  A Mythosaur come to life,” you chide, but soften at Din’s imploring face, “but not to me.  I knew immediately I was safer with you there, even though I didn’t know you yet.  I never told you that?”

“Never.  I’m glad you felt that way.  I’m always going to keep you safe, pretty bird. I love you so much.”

“I know, Din.  Love you, too.”  You close your eyes and nestle back into his chest, enjoying the music and the strong flex of the arms holding you.