#incorrect cql

[nixster627]

Wei Wuxian: Lan Zhan is stunning. If he bent me over a desk and plowed me, I would probably really enjoy myself.

Wei Wuxian: No homo though.

Jiang Cheng: How powerful does your stupid ass think "no homo" is?

[yingying-baby]

So relatable!! 😂🥲💔

[theineffableoystercatcher]

Wei Wuxian: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives Lan Wangji: I wake up at 5am Wei Wuxian: Wei Wuxian: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

[wangxian-on-repeat]

Wei Wuxian: would you still think i’m hot if i was evil

Lan Wangji: if by “evil” you mean rebelling against the orthodoxy that was actually so incredibly attractive i almost threw up though i actively tried to ignore it at the time

Lan Wangji: your face is very red, what is wrong

[elvencantation]

Wei Ying: my fetish is saying some incredibly stupid shit and watching Lan Zhan speedrun the five stages of grief as he realizes with horror that he still wants to fuck me

[mxtx-incorrect-quotes]

Lan Xichen: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?

Lan Wangji: Do not do that.

Lan Xichen: You won’t even notice!

Wei Wuxian, entering: Zewu-Jun, you wanted to see me again?

Lan Xichen: Wangji's single

Lan Wangji:

[twenty-orange-balloons]

Wei Wuxian: Hey, Lan Zhan! Let's play Two truths, One Lie! I'll start. I love you, I want you to fuck me, I hate spicy food. Haha, I bet you'll never guess!

Lan Wangji: *lwj.exe has stopped working*

[hanguangjunnnnn]

Jiang Cheng: You shouldn't be using a straw.

Wei Wuxian: I know it's bad for the environment or whatever.

Jiang Cheng: No, it just a weird way to eat spaghetti.

[lilapplesheadcannons]

Jiang Yanli: Since your dad got you that PlayStation, that is all you do. I feel you don't even talk to us anymore. Can you put it down so we can have a bit of time together as a family?

Jin Ling: Why does JiuJiu call dad your boytoy?

Jiang Yanli: Go back to your PlayStation, please!

[cloudvivi]

Wei Wuxian: If you have 10 cookies, and I asked for 5, how many would you have?

Lan Shizui: None.

Wei Wuxian: it's basic math, it's not that har-

Lan Shizui: I would give you all of them because I love you.

Wei Wuxian:...

Wei Wuxian *holding back tears*: Gross. Absolutely disgusting. Get out of my room.

[minna2413]

Lan Zhan: "your such a good bunny"

Wei Wuxian: "I know I am!"

Lan Zhan petting his bunny: "....."

Wei Wuxian only just noticing: "....."

Lan Zhan: "....Yes you are"

[nixster627]

Wei Wuxian: What's your type?

Lan Wangji: Kind, smart and also dumb, brave, a good fighter.

Wei Wuxian: That kinda sounds like me. Too bad I'm not a woman.

Lan Wangji: Did I mention dumb?

Wei Wuxian: Yes.

Lan Wangji: Good. Just making sure.

[yingying-baby]

*Lan Jingyi & Wei Wuxian, sets the kitchen on fire*

Wei Wuxian: We need an adult!

Lan Jingyi: YOU'RE AN ADULT!

Wei Wuxian: *looking extremely horrified* Oh!

Lan Jingyi: WE NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT, GO GET LAN WANGJI!

[theineffableoystercatcher]

Nie Huaisang: This date is boring! Jiang Cheng: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store. Nie Huaisang: Then why did you invite me? Jiang Cheng: I specifically said "don't come with me," and then you said, "fuck you Jiang Cheng, I'll do whatever I want!

[wangxian-on-repeat]

Lan Sizhui: i just think growing up around demons and ghosts might have influenced my understanding on the world somewhat

Wen Qionglin, watching Sizhui give the monster they’re trying to hunt belly rubs: hm you don’t say

[menimimimeni]

Lan Wangji: I knew I should've cut ties with you lot a long time ago.

Nie Huaisang: It's not our fault!

Lan Wangji: Of course it's your fault! You've dragged me down to your level, your stupidity has finally rubbed off on me!

Lan Wangji: I was a scholar when I met you, Huaisang, a scholar!

Nie Huaisang: You were three.