#incorrect norse mythology

[mythos-soup]

Sigyn: I just want to hear those three little words

Loki: I love you

Sigyn: that's sweet, but try again

Loki: I will behave

Sigyn: thank you 

[godsofhumanity]

[to the Guy Scouts' group chat] Odin: Saw an Olympian today. Osiris: Are you safe?!? Dagda: Wild or domesticated? Zeus: guys C'MON

[salvepersone]

Hermes: i dare you-

Odin: Loki is not allowed to accept dares anymore

Hermes: why not?

Loki: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

[mytholots]

Apollo: If I fall…

Surya: I’ll be there to catch you.

Lugh: *looks at Sol* What if I fall?

Sol: Then I’ll fall with you, never leaving your side.

Huitzilopochtli: *watches these two interactions*

Huitzilopochtli, to Ra: And if I fall?

Ra: I’ll be the one who pushed you.

[lokislittlestar]

Loki: imma be real with you guys!

Something that just don’t sit right with me is the word “authority” for some reason it has Thors name in it

And I don’t like that very fuckin much .

[ghostwithwings]

When you read about Hermod the Norse Messenger, loyal to Odin, knowing about Hermes the Greek Messenger, loyal to Zeus, and suddenly you realize the same motherf*cker (affectionately 😊) worked for two Gods and fooled them all the time.

[paradisechid800]

Aphrodite: Wait, so you are a goddess of love and beauty too. Freya: Yeah, I am also a goddess of fertility. Aphrodite: Me too! Freya: Uh, I'm also the Goddess of sex. Aphrodite: Me too! Freya: ... Freya: I'm also the Goddess of War. Aphrodite: ... Aphrodite: *Pulls out Spear* ME TOO!!!

[mytho-nerd]

Loki: would I lie to you?

Thor: yes.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Loki: Don’t preach to me about romance, Sif. I had a three-way in a space shuttle.

[afoolandathief]

Jormungandr: So you, like, had it in your mouth? Fenrir: For a bit, yeah. I had to spit it out, it tasted so weird. And the texture, ugh. Jormungandr: Hey, dude, no worries. It still looked, like, really, really cool.

[mythos-soup]

Baldr: you really put everything aside and came here for me? How did you even get here so fast? 

Frigg : several traffic violations 

Thor: three counts of resisting arrest

Odin: roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks

Tyr: Also, that's not our car

[godsofhumanity]

Odin: There’s a thin line between being a genius and being a fucking idiot. Frigg: Loki uses that line as a skipping rope.

[salvepersone]

Odin: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire.

Loki: But what if something else happens just this one time.

[mytholots]

Ares: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

Tyr: Which came first, the orange or the orange?

Athena: Orange was first used to refer the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until 1000 years ago.

Neit: What was the color called before then?

Bellona: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

[w-y-r-d]

Man's got bills to pay, respect the hustle.

When you read about Hermod the Norse Messenger, loyal to Odin, knowing about Hermes the Greek Messenger, loyal to Zeus, and suddenly you realize the same motherf*cker (affectionately 😊) worked for two Gods and fooled them all the time.

[incorrectnorse-quotes]

Odin: Can you come collect your freak of a man please. Odin: He's doing things. Sigyn: No I set him loose on purpose. Sigyn: He needs enrichment.