#incorrect mythology

[firinnie]

Ares who helps Odysseus. fights the suitors angrily? Nah.

Eumaeus had 4 dogs, wild as beasts. You can't tell me Ares didn't lose track of time when he played with the puppies.

Ares: Athena look! That black one's giving me a kiss!

Athena: Ares he's... he's trying to bite your hand off.

Ares: What???

Eumaeus: Um my Lord, should I call off my dogs or-

Ares: Sends him a look full of murder.

Eumaeus: ... ooooor never mind. Have a... a good time??

Ares: Great! So where am I- oh a group hug!

Dogs: Trying to take Ares down and bite him off like a prey.

Ares: Best. Day. Ever!

[godsofhumanity]

Diomedes: "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy." I would. Pussy. Odysseus: "I wouldn't stoop to their level." I will. Coward. Achilles: "I'm the bigger person." I'm not. Give me the gun, bitch.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

Achilles: See I'm straight but if there was a man I would marry it'd be Patroclus.

Briseis: How do you feel about that, Pat?

Patroclus:

Patroclus: It's not helping with the rumors.

Briseis: I think the kiss you guys shared in my tent isn't helping with the rumors.

Achilles: Yeah I just hate that he didn't give me enough tongue.

[mytholots]

Apollo: *crying* It was so hard! I couldn't take it man!

Artemis: *patting him on the back* Yeah life can be hard sometimes.

Apollo: Life?

[incorrectgreekgods]

Apollo: Okay guys, lets just hug this out. *Artemis, Apollo, Hermes, and Athena struggle into a group hug* Artemis: Who took my wallet? Hermes: Sorry.

[mythos-soup]

Sigyn: I just want to hear those three little words

Loki: I love you

Sigyn: that's sweet, but try again

Loki: I will behave

Sigyn: thank you 

[egypquotes]

Horus: Why are you wearing glasses?

Seth: Errr…reading…

Horus: Reading?

Horus: I didn't know you could read

[inc0rrectmyths]

<Hermes as a lawyer>

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗲𝘀: Your honor, you weren't there at the scene so shut the fuck up.

[demigoddessqueens]

Dionysus: i didn’t get the joke ☹️

Ariadne: private message and I’ll explain ❤️😘💕

Theseus: I also didn’t get the joke

Ariadne: Google it 😒

[genderlessfrog22]

(Spoiler!)

“Let’s have open arms instead!”

“No.”

Ody is just so tired and defeated that he gave up on everything, and $100 says that he saw Polites when that happened and another thing that drove him to be more ruthless, he saw his friend that died because he WASN’T ruthless.

[paradisechid800]

Hermes: What are we going to do about Apollo?

Ares: Oh, I can take him.

Hermes: In a fight, right?

Ares: ...

Hermes: IN A FIGHT, RIGHT!?!?!?

[mtolympusmemes]

Zeus: Poseidon just brought a live lobster to the party

[godsofhumanity]

Odysseus: "oh no we’re all doomed by the narrative" Odysseus: Maybe you are. I’m the narrative’s favorite. [later] Odysseus: Update: Turns out this is not a good thing for me.

[h0bg0blin-meat]

*Krishna, Arjun and Draupadi are on a secret mission*

Draupadi: Um-

Arjun: Shh!

Draupadi:

Draupadi: *turns to Krishna* He just shushed me!

Krishna: *calmly* Krishnaa, look. You just gotta be a little bit more un-

Arjun: Shh!

Krishna:

Draupadi: ☠️

Krishna: Don't you shush me!

[mytholots]

Apollo: You disgust me.

Hermes: *eating a kitkat sideways* And?

[incorrectgreekgods]

Hephaestus: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder? Ares: Stop romanticizing the past.