#incorrect quotes agents of shield

[esmerxyaugusta]

[ maria coming back from a mission ]

nat: are you okay? are you hurt?

maria: *shaking her head* but i think i need sleep

nat: what, why? we have a date tonight *pouts*

maria: blood loss

nat: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INJURED

maria: i mean my period, vagina blood loss

[fandomnerd9602]

Maria grabs Y/N as they come back from an Avengers assignment…

Maria: you are not doing that again

Y/N: yes ma’am

Maria: I am going to take you back to our bedroom and screw you til you see stars

Y/N: (sarcastic) oh work work work

Maria giggles and pulls Y/N off somewhere private…

[blueskiesandstarrynights]

Eliot: Get ready for a large file transfer

Hardison: How large?

*a giant filing cabinet falls out of the top window of a multi-story building*

[incorrect-multiverse]

Daisy *Sneaks onto the base at 2AM*

May *turning in swivel chair*: Care to tell me where you were?

Daisy: I was with.. uh.. Coulson!

Coulson *also turns in swivel chair*: care to- *keeps spinning*- May, I can’t stop this chair!

[crybabycunt]

Yelena: Okay, so mistakes were made.

Kate: By you.

Yelena: And people got hurt.

Kate: By you!

[40sjoyner]

Coulson: How did you know I was going to propose?

May: Daisy hasn’t been able to look at me without crying of happiness all week.

[amelia-mariee]

[marvellover264]

[Daisy and Phil] : *Sitting in jail*

Daisy: *So, who should we call?"

Phil: "I'd call May, but honestly i feel safer in jail."

[backgroundagent3]

Me: Is that a SHIELD agent I see?

SHIELD agent: *Puts on glasses*

Me: Nevermind, my apologies random civilian.

[harveywritings92]

R/n: There's lots of ways to express sadness and pain. There's music, and art -

Ghost: Smashing heads on the floor.

[ladyphlogiston]

Agent Coulson my beloved

(memes made by @likea-black-widow-baby)

Also I liked this one even if it isn't Coulson

[esmerxyaugusta]

maria: shit! we have a problem here!

nat: what! where?

maria: there! you're the problem!!!!

nat: ....

maria: you are the reason, i never want to get out of bed

[fandomnerd9602]

Pregnant Maria Hill greets Y/N and the Avengers as they return from retrieving the scepter and Y/N rubs her belly

The Quinjet lands as Maria approaches…

Y/N runs out and picks her up, spinning her around…

Y/N: how are my two favorite girls doing?

Maria rubs her pregnant belly reassuringly…

Maria: we’re good.

The two share a kiss…

Tony: just let me know what house you guys want, I’ll buy it for you! I will pay to build one for you if need be!

Y/N: Tony we will name you honorary godfather

Tony does a little fist pump…

[ex1ra-1erres1ial]

*Skye and May, watching Ward from a distance*

Skye: that's the guy I have a crush on

Skye: thoughts?

May:

May: and prayers, girl

[incorrect-multiverse]

*At some point, probably*

Daisy: If you’re going to make a big dramatic scene, wait til I get back.

Simmons: Of course. I can’t flip this table myself.

[likea-black-widow-baby]

Coulson: I have excellent observational skills. I can determine a person's character and emotions from a passing glance.

May: I've been in love with you for years.

Coulson: WHAT??