#incorrect robert baratheon quotes

[it-happened-once-in-a-meme]

Ned Stark: My daughter will marry your son. I can't believe that we've made it so far.

Robert Baratheon: Yeah, and look at them go, so full of love. Like little mini versions of ourselves.

Arya Stark: "We'll go straight to King's Landing" they said. But this, this is gay to King's Landing.

[sasha-naell]

Ned : It's really funny, becoming a parent makes you say phrases you would never imagined. For example “stop eating the wall” or “don’t throw food at your brother”

Robert : “stop trying to kill cats”

Ned : What ?

Robert : What ?

[itsgameofthronesimagines]

Robert Baratheon: I could kill you if I wanted to.

Rhaenyra Targaryen: Yeah? So could another human being. Or a dog... *smirks* or a wild boar.

Robert:

Rhaenyra: Or a dedicated duck. You're not special, Bobby.

[shining-m00nlight]

Some time ago in the Vale:

Ned: Well, who cuts people's hair in the middle of the night?

Robert: I do! They call me the Midnight Barber.

Ned: Yeah, well that's an infringement of people's liberties. So don't ever be doing that to me.

Robert: I DO do it to you.

Ned: ...what?

Robert: Who d'you think cuts your hair, Maester?

Ned: My hair just doesn't grow very fast

Robert: What, you think it stays that length naturally? I'm in there in the night, styling away.

Ned: How dare you do that to me in the night, when I'm oblivious.

Robert: I do my best work when you're oblivious. I lean you up against the pillow, and I go at you.

Ned: That's perverted!

[angelofthenight]

Stannis: Robert once called me “what’s his face”

Stannis: And I’m his brother

[kentstoji]

robert, standing with their back turned: i’ve been expecting you, rhaegar

rhaegar: how did you do that without turning around?

robert: to be perfectly honest, the first couple of people i did that to were not you...

[rhaenysofhousetargaryen]

Robert: it’s so hot out

Ned: yes, but why are you unbuttoning MY shirt?

[ayowotsdis]

Random incorrect memes about the baratheon sib dynamic on my fic because I will do anything except write it.

[lost-confused-brat]

Safety is never a permanent state of affairs .

Nothing fucks harder than time .

[ladycatofwinterfell]

Robert arriving in Winterfell: Catelyn, mom said it’s my turn with the mutual boyfriend

[thesunwillshineonusagain757]

Jaime: I just ended a years long relationship.

Lyanna: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you ok?

Jaime: Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.

*Cersei and Robert fighting from across the room*

[hchollym]

Robert and Ned: *walk into a room, holding hands*

Brandon: So, who finally confessed?

Robert: It was me. And I made sure that is was short and sweet.

Ned: You yelled "listen here you little shit, I have feelings for you and it's about time you acknowledged them" from across the training field. 

[sasha-naell]

Catelyn : So there are these two guys who are in love with me. There is one that my little sister is in love with, and the other I prefer his brother. So my crush has like 200 crushes (no seriously this guy is attracted to everyone) and he has a best friend who is like simp a little for my crush's sister. Except that my crush's sister really likes the little cousin of my crush's best friend, and it's mutual. Except that the little cousin of my crush's best friend is already married to a girl and this girl has a crush on the little brother of my crush's best friend and her best friend has a crush on my crush. So it obviously becomes a little complicated.

Brynden : Yeah I understand.

Hoster : HOW ??

[itsgameofthronesimagines]

Rhaenyra 🤝 Doe : being owners of the “I will never be a son” plot line

Frfr

Also, if worlds were to somehow merge and if these two characters met:

Rhaenyra: It's hilarious to think that I've killed a wild boar before, and your father was brutally slaughtered by one 🤣

Doe: Oh, yeah, hilarious. Much like how your daddy married your best friend.

Rhaenyra: ...

(All jokes aside, I really love Rhaenyra, and now Doe has a special place in my heart. Love me some firstborn family trauma angels 💖)

[shining-m00nlight]

Lord Varys: Lord Stark had a bastard!

Jon Arryn *to Robert: WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

Robert: He said Ned!

Jon Aryn: Oh sorry, I hear bastard and my mind automatically goes to you.

[angelofthenight]

Young!Robert, to Young!Stannis: At least I leave the house. All you’ve done for the last three days is read.

Young!Robert, under his breath: Stupid reader.