#initial focus of therapy

[benevolentslut]

there's that specific brand of villain that's like - you're only a villain because you gave into your deepest fears and allowed them to control you, and now you've gone way too far to ever be truly redeemed.

like, they are beyond a shadow of a doubt a villain and should be seen as such, but there's still a certain tragedy to it, y'know? that tragedy of like "damn, you would've been a decent person if you'd just had some therapy, but now look at you"

[watchyourbuck]

I really wanted to NOT analyze this scene bc it’s been done so many times but I’m a public menace, so

Buck and Eddie and Chris are at Buck’s loft, after a mission and a less than pleasant conversation w Bobby, and here are my thoughts:

We see Buck (who’s upset), cooking for Chris and Eddie, when — in the whole arc —, we never see him cook for Taylor (or Ali, or really, anyone else but the 118).

Recently therapied™️ Eddie doesn’t give a flying fuck about being interim captain, but has enough eyes to see Buck does. His voice softens, and he gives him foot to discuss his own feelings without hiding them bc Eddie doesn’t share them. (Bonus points bc he makes the same face he made after the lawsuit, in THE Kitchen Scene, when he tells Buck ‘not to beat himself up about it.’).

“Lucy is great– whatever-,” Buck says absentmindedly, and we get a glimpse of Eddie’s smug little face. It kind of implies he knows about the kiss, but opts to say nothing. He did, in fact, cheat on Taylor (and Chris is in the room). But the grin falls a little. Maybe he’s not so nonchalant about it, after all. Or maybe, he knows they (she and Buck) never stood a chance. He looks – relieved, almost.

Eddie feels comfortable enough to keep actually playing with his kid. Enough to win, actually. He doesn’t feel that comfortable at his parent’s house (5x17).

Buck keeps talking about this, and even if he acts like he doesn’t care (and Eddie has dealt with that sarcastic-coping-mechanism-tone Buck does one too many times), he’s visibly angry, so Eddie changes the subject. “What are you offering?”

“Right now? Bobby’s famous lasagna.” Okay, this doesn’t scream ‘I’m cooking you my family recipes’ to anyone else?

Then we have The Diaz’ compliments, which not only sound genuine, but make Buck grin. Like he did something right. Besides, it took him ‘three tries to get it right.’ Interesting, when other in the show has Buck not given up immediately after something doesn’t go his way? Surely, this had to be something he was very keen on achieving, cuz he barely cooks for himself.

Chris’ little ‘you don’t even have a couch’ is very funny to me. Because he’s a kid and he’s joking, or being smart. But Chris isn’t my focus here, it’s Eddie’s reaction. We do know kids absorb what their parents feel and say, right? Eddie laughs, so he must think alike. He looks almost drunk — all flushed cheeks, big smile, squinted eyes.

“My last two couches came with girlfriends” and the IMMEDIATE correction Eddie makes. We know Buck is at his most comfortable with the Diaz boys, so we know he’s not putting on a show. What he says – he means. Of the heart speaks the mouth. That’s how he feels about his past relationships, not the correction Eddie makes. (And if you may let me be annoying here, it’s kinda interesting, the correction. It sounds almost – hopeful. Eddie knows it’s supposed to be the way he corrects him to be, but in a way, he corrects him just to guarantee himself that that’s not what Buck meant ((and it’s not.)).

The way that Buck stops, stares and then plunges down on the chair. ‘Right,’ he thinks, ‘the girlfriends came with couches.’ Again, NOT his initial thought. He hides behind a grin.

Eddie is not careful mentioning Taylor. Buck isn’t heartbroken. He even mentions her in Chris’ presence, and we know by history they’ve always been careful. (If you ask me, that’s the reason they didn’t hook up after the ‘you wanna go for the title?’ scene).

“Maybe I don’t wanna pick the wrong couch again.” Please stay here for a second. In all objectivity we’re talking about furniture…, right? This is a three-street conversation, because Chris added himself to it, yet Buck won’t look at him. He looks at Eddie, very intently. As if… as if he’s saying something different with his words. Huh, whatever could he mean? (Faint whispers of: ‘your couch, you, I wanna pick you, I wanna pick you, pick me, too.’) And then Eddie, who is Oblivious Firefighter of the Year (awarded) brings the conversation down again to the actual topic, and Buck deflates, like his balloon has been popped. His eyes literally stop glimmering.

So, is this a conversation two best friends who are comfortable in that title would have?

[crystalsenergy]

Healing for Chiron signs 💚✨

Remember that healing is a lifelong journey, and it's okay to seek support from therapists, counselors, spiritual advisors along the way. Self-awareness, self-compassion, and a commitment to YOUR personal growth are essential for Chiron healing.

Chiron in Aries: Healing the wounds associated with Chiron in Aries starts with embracing your inner strength and self-assertion.

Tips: Cultivate self-confidence by setting and achieving personal goals that empower you. Face your fears head-on, and don't shy away from confrontations that help you express your needs. Explore physical activities like martial arts or competitive sports to build resilience. Learn to initiate and take action without the fear of rejection. Remember that your worth is not defined by external validation but by your self-acceptance.

Chiron in Taurus: Healing Chiron in Taurus involves nurturing self-worth and finding stability within.

Tips: Practice self-care routines that reconnect you with your senses and the physical world. Create a secure and comforting home environment. Work on building financial stability and managing resources wisely to boost your sense of self-reliance. Explore nature, gardening, or grounding practices to strengthen your connection to the Earth's energies. Understand that your true worth goes beyond material possessions.

Chiron in Gemini: Healing Chiron in Gemini requires addressing communication and mental challenges.

Tips: Understand that your curiosity and adaptability can be strengths once you embrace them. Develop effective communication skills by actively listening and expressing your thoughts clearly. Engage in activities that stimulate your mind and expand your knowledge, such as reading, writing, or learning a new language. Rebuild trust in your ability to connect with others by nurturing genuine, open conversations. Seek therapy or counseling to heal sibling relationships or childhood communication issues.

Chiron in Cancer: Healing Chiron in Cancer begins with nurturing and emotional self-care.

Tips: Create a safe and loving home environment that provides emotional security and comfort. Explore your emotional depths through self-reflection, journaling, or seeking therapy. Reconnect with your inner life and work on healing any childhood wounds or family dynamics that have left scars. Embrace your nurturing side and allow vulnerability to become a source of strength and connection. Understand that emotional healing is a process that takes time and self-compassion.

Chiron in Leo: To heal Chiron in Leo wounds, you have to take care of your level of self-confidence and self-expression.

Tips: Engage in creative activities that allow your unique talents and personality to shine. Embrace opportunities to showcase your skills and receive positive feedback. Cultivate self-love and self-validation, reducing the need for external recognition. Understand that true leadership comes from the heart and from authenticity, not just the ego. Recognize your innate ability to inspire and uplift others with your warmth and charisma.

Chiron in Virgo: Healing Chiron in Virgo involves addressing perfectionism and self-criticism.

Tips: Practice self-compassion by accepting your imperfections and embracing self-love. Engage in self-care routines that prioritize physical and mental well-being. Develop your skills in service to others, recognizing that your healing journey is deeply intertwined with helping others. Seek guidance from holistic or alternative health practices, and remember that healing often comes through a focus on holistic well-being, not just one way of take care of yourself.

Chiron in Libra: Healing Chiron in Libra involves addressing wounds related to relationships and balance.

Tips: Seek harmony in your human connections by practicing effective communication and conflict resolution. Cultivate self-love and self-acceptance, recognizing that your worth doesn't depend on external opinions or partnerships. Work on healing any past relationship wounds through therapy, self-reflection... Embrace your ability to bring people together and find beauty in the balance between giving and receiving.

Chiron in Scorpio: Healing Chiron in Scorpio requires facing deep emotional wounds and transformation.

Tips: Explore your emotional depths through therapy, journaling, or spiritual practices. Allow yourself to confront and release past traumas and fears. Embrace vulnerability and trust in your ability to regenerate and transform. Seek to heal trust issues by practicing forgiveness and rebuilding trust in yourself and others. Understand that your intensity and depth can be sources of strength and healing.

Chiron in Sagittarius: Healing Chiron in Sagittarius begins with a quest for higher meaning and wisdom.

Tips: Explore different belief systems and philosophies to find your own truth. Engage in adventures and expand your horizons through travel or learning. Find meaning in life's challenges and recognize that they lead to growth. Seek spiritual guidance or practices that resonate with you. Embrace your adventurous spirit and optimism as sources of healing and personal expansion.

Chiron in Capricorn: Healing Chiron in Capricorn involves addressing wounds related to ambition and responsibility.

Tips: Build self-confidence and overcome fears of inadequacy by setting achievable goals. Take charge of your life and career path, recognizing that you have the ability to succeed. Embrace your responsibilities and understand that they lead to personal growth and empowerment. Seek to heal any issues related to authority figures through therapy or self-reflection. Understand that your determination and work ethic can lead to significant achievements and healing.

Chiron in Aquarius: Healing Chiron in Aquarius requires embracing your uniqueness and ideals.

Tips: Celebrate your individuality and connect with like-minded individuals who share your values. Engage in humanitarian efforts or seek out causes that align with your beliefs. Challenge convention and explore innovative paths for personal growth and healing. Embrace your innovative and unconventional side, recognizing that it can lead to positive change. Find meaning in your friendships and connections with a community that supports your growth.

Chiron in Pisces: To heal Chiron in Pisces wounds, it's necessary to connect with your spirituality and explore mindfulness practices.

Tips: Use creative outlets like art, music, or writing as a means of self-expression and emotional healing. Set and maintain healthy emotional boundaries to protect your energy and well-being. Seek therapy or counseling to address any issues related to addiction or escapism. Explore your empathetic nature and use it as a source of healing and connection with others. Understand that your sensitivity and compassion can be strengths once you embrace them.

[forgeofthenine]

Hi, can i request our fav tieflings finding Tav who was hiding from everyone cus they were having a panic/anxiety attack? And tieflings comforting them?

Could be before them forming a relationship, could be after, however you prefer ^^

This one was an interesting request to write, particularly because I had to base the headcanons on both my own experiences and what I know of how other people experience anxiety attacks. I ended up deciding to be fairly vague about things, but all the tieflings are in an existing relationship with the reader in these :)

The bachelors helping their partner through a panic attack

Dammon

Dammon knows pretty quick when you seemingly disappear, especially if he already thinks you might not be doing so well

It doesn't take him long to find you hidden away in your shared bedroom, the panic radiating from you obvious to the tiefling

He's very aware that if he isn't careful it could make things worse

You'll find he's very careful with getting your attention, gently making his presence known

Dammons first response once he does have your attention is to check if he can touch you

There's no way he's touching you unless you initiate or tell him it's okay

If you do let him, you can expect to be wrapped up in a huge warm hug

Dammons breath on your ear as he talks you through it, using a mix of deep pressure therapy and his words

It's easy to focus on the feeling of him when your boyfriend acts like a weighted blanket for you

Warm hands rub over your arms, slow repetitive motions that sooth you as soon as he does it

Dammons careful with comforting you, and he's happy to sit with you curled up against him for hours if it's what you need

Zevlor

Zevlor always has a little latent worry for you, no matter what

He's lived through a lot and he knows how overwhelming anxiety feels

When he sees you struggling he keeps a better eye on you, and when you slip away for too long he'll go check in on you

It's when he finds you hyperventilating alone in your shared room that his heart absolutely breaks

Zevlor is quick to get your attention before anything gets worse, bringing your focus back to him

He's the type to take you through breathing exercises, leading you with his own breathing

It doesn't matter how many times he has to restart or regain your focus, he'll stay there for as long as it takes

And you can guarantee that once you're settled again he'll take the rest of the day to spoil you

You'd like a kiss? Absolutely, you look cold too, let him wrap this fluffy blanket around you

Zevlor delivers you food and drinks for the next couple days, knowing you're eating and drinking eases the tieflings own anxiety

Rolan

Rolan can act like he's better than others or that people are just an inconvenience to him, but he loves the people close to him fiercely

You're one of the people he's very protective of, possibly even moreso than Cal or Lia

When he finishes up with running the tower for the day and stumbles on you having a panic attack he's already kicking himself

Once Rolan has your attention he knows exactly what he's going to try to ground you

He leads you through the 5-4-3-2-1 technique

Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste

Rolans so patient as he encourages you through it, holding your hands and praising you for every thing you can name

He's another that barely lets you out of his sight for the next few hours, but he tries to be smooth about it

Runs you a relaxing bath with all the extras, asks if he can wash your hair for you, the whole nine yards

Beneath his spiky exterior Rolan is truly very caring and sweet, a bit like a bright red magically inclined mother hen

[bokettochild]

Random Legend Headcanons that haunt my brain at stupid hours <3

He has a big sweet tooth, but less so for sugary things and mostly more for fruits

greatest seemingly "irrational" fear is dogs, he has never liked them even since childhood, and the only dog he can stand is the old sheepdog his grandparent's kept to keep track of the goats

Sky is his favorite. Sky is real with him and doesn't dismiss him as an asshole = automatic favorite. They also share a lot in common

he and Sky like gossiping when no one is paying attention to them. Not about the other heroes necessarily, they just both find it fun

oral stims: he likes his hands free, but chewing/sucking on things helps him focus better and stay calm. He refuses to admit how many times he's found himself chewing on his medallions

he loves puzzles. You'd think he'd gotten enough of them in his adventures, but nope! Hes been doing this long enough that going WITHOUT puzzles to solve actually makes him feel bored. He likes the challenge of it, it keeps his brain ticking

history nerd. A lot of Hyrule's culture/history/tradition was lost because the people were just trying to survive after Ganon killed the hero, so Legend really likes trying to hunt down the pieces of the past to put together what it was like. It's a big puzzle for him, and he loves talking about it if he feels he'll actually be listened too

he knits. He doesn't know many patterns, but he knows some basic stitches and the repetition calms him down

good at most needlework, sucks at embroidery. He likes it, it's just too stressful for him. He's in awe of the fact that Sky's so good at it.

he actually loves the sea I know most writers have him scared of it, but he's got far more happy memories than bad ones, so while it's bittersweet, he still enjoys being near the water (as log as it's not storming)

hates lightning storms with a passion. Storms in general make his arthritis worse, but the lightning trauma sucks a lot more

actually enjoys light rain showers. it still effects his pain levels, but not super bad, and it's worth it to him

has the most un-attractive laugh ever. He tends to snort and cackle like a madman. He does have a "polite laugh" but it's far less genuine.

he CAN cook, he just doesn't care to. Food is an annoying requirement and necessity for him most of the time, and more of a chore than he's willing to admit

he has the biggest soft spot for kids, partially because of Gully, partially by nature

the most susceptible to Baby Therapy (the effect of feeling at peace, content, happy, or relief while holding a small child) Ulli figured this out early on and now abuses it.

he loves stargazing. Stars are a constant no matter where he goes and they're like old friends (got this from the manga)

he's an artist and a perfectionist, his preferred medium is paints, but he does carry a sketchbook

loves physical contact, but is hesitant about others boundaries, so he rarely initiates or maintains it

I have more, but yeah, this is getting pretty long :')

[perfectsunlight]

𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 [𝟏𝟑]

𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: NONEEEEE WE CHEERED.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.3k

𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀: 𝗴𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲

sm entertainment officially announced ningning’s hiatus one month after her arrival at the rehab center.

they said she was taking time for herself in order to focus on her health and wellbeing. most people had no idea where she had gone. 

dispatch had no sightings of her for weeks. they did not even know when she was at the hospital either, to which everyone was thankful for. the company was shocked to know that the chinese idol was willing to get sent to rehab. 

however, despite the initial shock, they offered to pay for all the expenses and also said she could take all the time she needed in order to get better. 

the truth is bulletproof, there's no fooling you

i don't dress the same

yizhuo needed to be away from the city. she needed to be somewhere where she could find who she truly was. geoje was where the company decided to send her. it was a 4 hour drive from seoul, making it just far enough for her to get away, but also close enough for people to come visit. the city was right off the coast of busan, situated on an island connected to the mainland via bridges.

she would hate to admit it, but part of her never wanted to leave geoje. it was beautiful, and she felt like she could be herself within the sanctuary of the rehab center. it was a bit difficult at first, opening up to complete strangers about her issues, but she was willing to try her best.

that was all anyone expected of her here — to just try her best.

she had never had that environment. it felt nice to have such a change. it felt right. 

me and who you say i was yesterday

have gone our separate ways

most of the people who arrived at the center were older than she was, meaning they had no idea who she was. there was an older woman who worked as an instructor for an art class that the facility offered, and whenever ning would go in and draw, she would sing.

she had told yizhuo that she should become a singer when she gets out because her voice was outstanding. all the chinese girl could do was smile and laugh a little.

it was ironic for her. she used to love being known by everyone as “ningning from aespa”, but here she loved being unknown. when she arrived, she said she was an international student studying korean language at yonsei. 

it was a believable cover story, and no one questioned it. the anonymity was a relief. she could walk around without the weight of her idol identity. 

there were no fans to impress, no expectations to meet, no cameras capturing her every move. 

she could just be yizhuo, a young woman finding her way back to herself. 

left my living fast somewhere in the past

'cause that's for chasing cars

days at the center had a gentle rhythm. mornings began with a communal breakfast, where she’d chat with the other residents, exchanging stories of their pasts and dreams for the future. after breakfast, there were various therapy sessions. she found solace in group therapy, where she realized she wasn’t alone in her struggles. the stories she heard, though different from her own, were a reminder that everyone had their battles. in the afternoons, she often joined the art class. 

the instructor, mrs. lee was her name, was a kind-hearted woman in her sixties, with a voice that was both soothing and encouraging. she felt more of a mother to yizhuo than her own had. her words of praise and encouragement made ning feel seen, not as an idol, but as a person with potential beyond her public persona. 

it was different to have someone so maternal, but she thoroughly felt better. whenever it felt difficult to open up, she would talk to mrs. lee. she had a way of listening that made yizhuo feel understood, without judgment or pity. the idol realized all she ever needed was someone who wouldn’t pity her.

turns out open bars lead to broken hearts

and going way too far

the two became closer when the older woman found her crying after her first few sessions of therapy with the facility’s psychiatrist. mrs. lee never asked any questions, and simply just embraced the younger girl in a tight hug until yizhuo’s tears stopped. from that day forward, ning went to mrs. lee for everything.

“you're stronger than you think,” mrs. lee would often say, her aged eyes filled with kindness. “you’ve done well. only you can be the best version of yourself, for yourself.” these words resonated deeply with the young idol. she began to see her journey not as a series of failures, but as a testament to her resilience.

she was ning yizhuo, a girl who did the best she could. and that was all she could ever want to be.

take one, pour it out

it's not worth crying 'bout the things you can't erase

on days when she felt particularly overwhelmed, yizhuo would take long walks along the coast. the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks was therapeutic. ning had never been a fan of beaches (mostly because of the sand), but upon arriving in geoje, she fell in love with them.

at first, she would just walk to the steps that led down to the sand but not descend. she’d only lean against the railing and watch the water from above, not wanting to touch the sand. the rhythmic ebb and flow of the tides calmed her, the vastness of the ocean making her own problems seem smaller, more manageable. 

like tattoos and regrets

words i never meant and ones that got away

but as days turned into weeks, she found herself longing to be closer to the water. one morning, she took a deep breath and made her way down the steps. she hesitated at the bottom, toes just inches away from the sand. 

with a determined sigh, she stepped onto the beach, feeling the grainy texture beneath her feet. the initial discomfort faded as she walked along the shore, the cool water lapping at her ankles. it became a ritual for her—each day, she’d venture a little further, letting the sand and sea become her sanctuary. 

she began to see the beach not just as a place, but as a metaphor for her own journey—constantly changing, yet always moving forward.

left my living fast somewhere in the past

and took another road

the young woman found herself collecting different things from each trip to the shore. on some days it was a small rock, and others it was other things.

she often collected seashells to save them for you. they were like little pieces of happiness for her, just like you were.

sometimes, she’d even sit on a large rock by the water’s edge, watching the waves crash and retreat. one of the gifts you had given her before she left was a digital camera. without missing an evening, ning took photos of every sunset. 

it reminded her of you, after all. it was only fair of her to show you.

the beach was quiet. ningning hated the quiet before. now, she loved it.

quiet meant she could breathe. she had control of her thoughts and emotions. she no longer let her mind bully her.

turns out crowded rooms empty out as soon

there's somewhere else to go, oh

visitors were allowed to come once a week, meaning most of the time, her members all came to visit her together. of course, she didn’t have a visitor every week, but sm made sure to keep these visits out of the public’s prying eyes when you or her members did come and visit. 

karina usually brought her new stationary, minjeong brought snacks, and aeri would bring her new sd cards for her camera or clothes for the seasonal changes. although ning was away from everyone she knew, she never truly felt lonely.

she had made peace with her isolation. however, the only person she constantly missed was you. 

she’d never thought of ever writing a letter, but she was over the moon when she saw you had written her one a few weeks after she was sent to the facility. mrs. lee teased yizhuo by saying she’d never seen her really smile until she saw her reading the letter. ningning missed you more than she could understand. 

it wasn’t a bad feeling of longing either, but rather a feeling of curiosity for what you were doing at the moment. before she had left seoul, you had mentioned to yizhuo that you had broken up with aeri the night she was hospitalized. 

ningning didn’t need to ask any questions about it, she knew why it happened. you cared about ning. more than anyone else, or anything else. 

and she cared about you, too. more than anyone else, or anything.

i know i used to be crazy

messed up, but, god, was it fun

after being in rehab for 6 months, ningning was finally comfortable enough to return to seoul. 

on her last day there, mrs. lee had brought her a gift. it was a beautifully wrapped box with a note attached to it. the note read, “for the journey ahead. with love, mrs. lee.” ning carefully unwrapped the box, revealing a set of watercolor paints in a case with her initials on it.

mrs. lee smiled warmly. “i thought you might want to continue expressing yourself through art. remember, these are tools for your journey, just as much as your voice is.” tears welled up in yizhuo’s eyes as she hugged the older woman tightly. 

mrs. lee must have known who she really was. the idol decided not to question it.

“thank you for everything,” she whispered. “i’ll never forget what you’ve done for me.” mrs. lee simply patted her back gently. “go out there and show the world who you have always been. and never forget, you’re always welcome back here if you need to escape.”

i know i used to be wild

that's 'cause i used to be young

the facility threw the young idol a send off ceremony the day before she was leaving. there were games and delicious food, and even karaoke. naturally, yizhuo stole the show with her voice. mrs. lee had been taking photos and videos for the chinese girl on the camera you got her. even though rehab was tough, ning didn’t ever want to forget her time here. 

“i’ve learned a lot here. thank you all for helping me remember who i truly am.” yizhuo said with a warm smile as she bowed, concluding her parting speech.

the applause that followed was heartfelt, and ningning felt a sense of closure and gratitude. the friends she had made and the experiences she had shared in geoje were now a part of her story, a chapter she would cherish forever. 

as the evening wound down, yizhuo mingled with the staff and residents, sharing hugs and promises to keep in touch. later that night, she found herself back at the beach for one last walk. the moonlight danced on the waves, creating a serene scene. she took out the camera and captured a few final shots, wanting to hold on to this moment forever.

with a deep breath, she whispered a goodbye to the ocean, feeling a sense of peace wash over her. she was ready to move forward, but she would always carry a piece of this place with her. 

those wasted nights are not wasted

i remember every one

sm entertainment had expressed their excitement in regards to yizhuo feeling well enough to return to seoul. she was a bit nervous for facing the public and their questions to where she had been, but one thing the idol had learned was boundaries.

she didn’t have to tell the world where she had been. only the people who needed to know, knew.

ningning didn’t bring her phone with her to the facility. it was something the facility had requested before her initial arrival. it was quite the laugh when the chinese girl showed up with a mp3 player. however, the idol was thankful she downloaded as many songs as she could have because the upcoming 4 hour drive would be a bit more boring without it.

a car pulled up to the curb, and for a moment ning was confused. she couldn’t see who was inside because of the tinted windows, but when the passenger side window was lowered, she couldn’t help but smile.

i know i used to be crazy

that's 'cause i used to be young

you smiled and ning swore she was about to throw up from excitement. she practically bolted inside with her backpack and duffle, almost hitting her head on the roof when she got inside.

“hey, stranger,” you greeted her warmly, your eyes twinkling with joy. “ready to go home?” the chinese girl nodded, feeling a rush of emotions. she had missed you, she had missed seoul, she had missed her members.

 “more than ready.”

you tell me time has done changed me

that's fine, i've had a good run

“you didn’t forget anything, right?” you teased as you set the car into drive. the idol laughed at your remark before pretending to feign thought. “hm,” she hummed as she tapped her finger against her chin. “just this.”

ningning leaned over the center console and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek.

your cheeks flushed with a warm pink, and you couldn’t help but smile and roll your eyes playfully. “definitely not something to forget,” you replied, feeling a happy flutter in your chest. with one hand on the steering wheel, you took the other and intertwined your hand in the idol’s.

“let’s go home.”

i know i used to be crazy

that's 'cause i used to be young

𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑵𝑫.

a/n: WE CHEERED ! thank you for all of the support for this series, i love u all <3

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧: @jiihu @silantryoo @rosiehrs @craftymasterlistcomicsprune @skisk1 @jisooftme @babycubchae @yunjinhart @pandamiswifey @jenoteamo @lcv3lies  @pagedpick7 @bexisbomb @lcv3lies @lauxymy4 @justalittledissociation @captivq @jeindall777

CLOSED.

[antariies]

how to build a chair........... director's cut ∠( ᐛ 」∠)__ this is about to be a very long very self-indulgent post where i just talk about my own writing. i also doodled on all the pages i think it makes the whole thing more fun to go thru. welcome to my ted talk

SIKE before i begin. credit where credit is due, this post was the start of it all. it changed my brain chemistry my jaw was dropped i was in awe i was obsessed and before i even finished it i knew that i would eventually have to make something similar for the commander or else i would be cursed to think about it for the rest of my life. and i Was cursed for like two years every day i would just be like........ is today the day i sit down and draft the commander chair fic of my dreams....... maybe tomorrow......

and then i got accepted as a writer for the gw2 zine ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ the chair idea was actually my backup option in case my first idea didn't pan out, and thank god it didn't, bc this one worked so much better. (still working on my initial idea, just turning it into a full fic! it was wayyy too long to be a zine submission.)

this is the chair i used. i downloaded the assembly instructions and tried out a bunch of different free pdf editors until i found one i liked, which ended up being sedja. if anyone's interested in doing something like this, i recommend printing out the pdf and writing directly on it! it was a lot easier for me to just figure out everything on paper first and then digitalize it after :P here's a picture of my physical copy

okay actually getting into it for real this time !!!!!

1. yeah i could've just erased the ikea logo and left a blank space but then i realized i could turn it into an in-universe joke. and then i ran with it.

2. i ripped this straight from the product description on the website. thanks ikea

3. i'm not sure if anyone went and looked it up, but it's a real item code!

hehe :3c

4. if your commander willingly goes to therapy i'm happy for them but TO ME? you'd have to drag the commander kicking and screaming. it's not that they don't know that something is wrong with them, they know, and they know YOU know. you're just never supposed to talk about it. they don't look at their own psych eval results bc that's none of their business.

5. i normally avoid specifying the commander's race when i write them bc i enjoy the challenge, but for the zine i was assigned to write about a norn commander! as a human main i was uhhhh very ill-equipped. but that just meant i had to study up on my norn lore (•̀ᴗ•́)و i spent hours on the wiki, then went around interviewing norn mains for their opinions, which was great fun :D it all helped me narrow the focus of my piece: joining the war on commander objectification on the side of commander objectification (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ and no one self-aggrandizes quite like the norn commander!

and to balance that i knew my narrator had to be patronizing as shitttt. they've clearly been following the commander since the beginning and seem to know a lot of intimate details about their life, despite not thinking very highly of them. wonder who that could be :3c

6. i can't stop making references. so the original part number is actually #122620 in the manual but i've changed it here (and on the previous page!) to #082812, as in 08/28/12, the date gw2 was released! no real reason for it, @dalennaugw suggested it for funsies and i liked it. if you're my pal and i show you a wip and you have a cool idea for it, chances are i Will put that shit in. hi dale if you're reading this

7. another thing about me. i loveeee repetition. here the word "over" is repeated four times to match the picture. honestly a lot of the creative process for this piece was just staring at the pages and figuring out how to tie the pictures to the commander in ways that weren't extremely corny or trite. idk why i enjoy writing like this when i could be frolicking in the beautiful prosaic meadows of a word doc instead but. it's like i see a tiny little restrictive box and i'm like OH BOY can't wait to think inside of that thing!!! i like when the format matters just as much as the content and in some cases informs the content. am i making any sense here. well all you need to know is that i'm a virgo and my favorite book is house of leaves

7. aw fuck just realized i wrote 7 twice. whatever i'm not changing it this is 7 part two now. the theme of my piece is glory, what it means to the norn commander, and how far they're willing to go for it.

8. does norn culture place emphasis on seeking individual glory Yes are norn also very community-oriented Also Yes. i think it's common to see norn kids napping together in a big pile, usually after they've worn themselves out playing games outside. it makes sense practically (apes together warm) and socially (pack bonding good) but that's just my hc. growing up i used to share a bed with my cousins all the time so it's normal to me.

a young, naive not-yet-commander, with no real combat experience, has no point of reference to compare a "blaze of glory" to. but the way everyone talks about it, it must be a good thing. a wonderful thing. a reward fit for a life well-fought and a legend hard-earned. so they imagine it must feel like falling asleep surrounded by the people they love, who love them in turn.

9. .........i was playing a lot of ace attorney when i wrote this page. i wish i was joking 👍🏼

10. ohhh shit the truth come OUT this whole chair thing was all a ploy just so i could write about the departing. again.

will i ever stop thinking about her. reply hazy, try again later.

11. out of all the pages, this one has the most emphasis on text placement, like comparing the enlarged picture of the screw to a sword, the numbers counting the screws, and "up up up" being arranged to mimic a wisp of smoke.

i also wanted to lean into the viking/norse mythology influences with my word choice.

12. more nods to norn culture. i didn't know they referred to the six human gods as "spirits of action" until i was doing the research for this piece :O

and the domain of the lost is called a hall of ghosts....... cause valhalla.....

13.

i'm sorry this so funnyyy. SAYS the guy who literally clawed their way back to life for a rematch.

me when i'm in a sore loser competition and my opponent is the COMMANDER!!!

14. arms as in "limbs" and also arms as in "armaments" :•]

15. haha get it because the picture makes it look like there are two mirrored speech bubbles while the text paints two opposing interpretations of the norn commander. one that's selfless and humble versus one that's selfish and vainglorious.

16. and the best part is IT DOESN'T MATTER which one is true bc at the end of the day no matter what their motivation, balthazar is dead by their hand. ofc i'm of the opinion that the most compelling interpretation of the commander is both, simultaneously. contradictions are good for the soul.

17. i could've name-dropped kas, the only person present that would do something like that, but i felt it was better to leave it ambiguous.

18. low-hanging fruit. the metaphor was so obvious here but i had to do it. for the culture

19. the alternate title for this piece was "THIS COULD BE GLORY". "how to build a chair" was only supposed to be a placeholder title til i figured out a better one, but the innocuousness of it grew on me. also i came up with the other one too late and had already advertised under the chair title lol

20. my first instinct was to end it with something more reassuring, like "what you have built so far is enough" but that would've been an ooc switch-up for a narrator who has been nothing but snide and detached this whole time. gotta stick to my guns

21.

obligatory chair joke as the last line. for realsies though it’s meant to be an earnest appeal to the commander to take a break, to have a seat, but it’s also a challenge. are they willing to lean on their friends? are the bonds they’ve forged strong enough to hold their weight? are they willing to put their faith in someone else’s hands? are they brave enough to try? well. only one way to find out.

also guess what that wasn’t even the real last page of the manual. it's THIS

but no way i was letting this be the image we ended on. IT LOOKS LIKE A DICK AND BALLS!!!

and on that note, THANK YOU if you made it this far!! a very special shout-out to @hawkepockets, my lovely boyfriend and beta reader, without whom this piece would not be nearly as polished. i would bring him pages to look over and he would say Scrap half of those lines you can do better than that. kill your darlings. i would complain and argue for a few minutes then we would revise. rinse and repeat until we had honed this thing to perfection. i can't stress enough the importance of having a second pair of eyes on your work throughout your creative process, even better if it's someone who challenges you. i don't even pay him 🫶🏼

and if there was anything i didn't cover that you still have questions about, please feel free to shoot me an ask! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡ thanks for reading! see u later dudes ;P

[silent-sanctum]

I love, love, LOVE your Morioh slices of life and would die for more of Jotaro trying to have a stable family life amid Josuke and Okuyasu shenanigans. Please? Maybe a beach episode?? Anything you want, really! 🙏

Hiya! Sorry I just got to your request! This one's pretty lengthy as I said but it is here now~ There was less Josuke and Okuyasu shenanigans than I hoped but that's because I wanted to focus the story on Jotaro's family bonding time. Hope you enjoy! ♡

A Slice of Morioh: Our Piece of Peace

word count: 4.9k

When it comes to the Kujos, nothing was ever boring or simple.

Every day in every month was something new to explore for the couple and their energetic 4-year-old daughter. Initially, it was just the family doing what an average family does in their seaside villa in Florida, then give it a couple months of adjustments, they found themselves in a mini crusade as they traversed most of Asia.

Jolyne fully had the idea that their trip was purely for vacation, but little does she know that it was half-work as well. In the background of their travels, her parents hunted down potential Stand enemies and possible Stand arrows in the area with the intention of minimizing threats that could harm their little girl’s future.

The whole family work-vacation was entirely your idea, taking into consideration Jolyne’s adventurous and excitable personality. You wanted her to explore the world before she had to stay in one place for her schooling. Understandably, Jotaro hesitated with the suggestion, feeling fearful of what could happen to his family; a hint of trauma still plaguing the back of his mind even after attended many therapy sessions.

You gently insisted it was for their daughter’s development and that she’d be under constant watch but allowed him time to ponder, never pushing it too far that it irritated him.

Eventually, he gave in and trusted your word to allow Jolyne in the couple’s travels across half the world. Looking at her now being this happy and excited, Jotaro didn’t regret his decision.

At this point of their trip, they agreed to give themselves a break and opted to settle down in the small town of Morioh-cho.

And aside from the handful of local Stand users wanting you and Jotaro out of the way of their shady business, the trouble wasn’t too much to handle and the family still had enough rest before venturing out of the country once again.

But-

“Eomma! Appa! I’m bored! Can we go somewhere else please?!”

Jolyne, having be used to the constant go-to routines her family does, began to fuss and whine within the 4 walls of their hotel room. You have stayed in the small town for over a month and within them, your daughter had wasted no time wandering about the area with the typical eagerness of a preschooler.

But since you and Jotaro intended to stay for at least 2 more months, it would only be time until she began to crave for more adventures. Thus, you found yourself facing Jolyne nearly throwing tearful tantrums in the lounge area of your hotel room, with Jotaro by your side perplexed at the situation, and Great Grandpa Joseph sighing as he carried the tiny Shizuka in his arms.

“I wanna go out! I wanna play and run and eat and do whatever!” Jolyne huffed and puffed in her butterfly-patterned pajamas, hands balling in tiny fists and feet stomping on the carpet.

“Jolyne, what did I tell you about being patient? Your mother and I still have matters to tend to here,” Jotaro said gruffly. “We already allowed you to hang out with Josuke and his friends.”

But the little girl continued to whine, cheeks growing red from frustration. “But they keep taking me to the same places over and over! I don’t wanna go back there!”

“Like where pearl?” You questioned.

She raised her chubby fingers and began to count from each. “The sandwich shop, the playground, the ice cream shop, the nice man’s food shop, the school, the park, and even that weird man’s house!”

“Which weird man?” Jotaro mumbled to you, to which you muttered back a quiet “Rohan Kishibe. They like to fool around with the guy”, and he nodded in immediate understanding.

“Listen,” you started as you got down on your knees to face Jolyne. “You have to understand that other than what your father said, the point of why we stayed here is to relax for a bit and then we can go back out there.”

She pouted. “But-”

“However,” you butted in before she could go back to throwing a fit. “How about I make a deal?” You reached over to grasp her one hand with both of yours. “We’ll have a mini road trip in the neighboring towns near Morioh and you can have all the fun you want, but when we get back, you have to behave until we finish our job here. Or else, you get limited exploration in our travels.”

You turned to look back at your husband. “Sounds like a good deal, right?” Jotaro quirked up his brows in agreement as he downed his cup of coffee.

Jolyne puffed her cheeks, dubious. “How long is the trip?”

“How long do you want it to be?”

“Hmm… 4 weeks!” Jolyne said with a wide smile.

“That’s a bit much. A week?”

“3!”

“Okay then, how about 2 weeks?” You said. “We can do a lot in 2 weeks pearl.”

You felt a hand lay on your shoulder and for a second, you glanced at Jotaro kneeling next to you. “Eomma also needs to rest a lot for your baby sibling to grow properly. Don’t you want that?” You flushed as he wrapped a gentle arm around midsection, hand resting on your small bump.

Jolyne pressed her lips together as she mirrored her father’s action and placed her hand on your tummy. “Yeah…”

“Listen to your parents youngster,” Mr. Joestar spoke up from the back. “There’s loads of fun stuff you can do in places near Morioh. I would know because I’ve been quite the wanderer myself in my younger days.”

“Of course you were old man,” Jotaro deadpanned at him. You held back a laugh at the implication. “Quite the wanderer indeed. I wouldn’t say it was your younger years though.”

“Anyways,” you cleared your throat. “Do we have a deal, little miss?” You put up a hand for her to shake.

Jolyne scrunched her face in deep thought before grinning and eagerly grasping your hand with her smaller ones. “Deal!”

You huffed in complete adoration and couldn’t resist planting a kiss on her forehead. “Aigoo, my tiny impatient explorer….”

“Go bath now before your mother changes her mind,” Jotaro said, rustling her already-tousled dark hair. Jolyne stared up at her father with challenge in her eyes and a smirk for a mouth. “In the count of 3,” he started. “One… two…”

And just like that, your daughter bolted back to her room with a loud giggle.

Jotaro chuckled and got up from his knee, helping you up after him. “Good grief. We really should come up with something to keep her occupied in one spot.” He narrowed his eyes at you. “You spoil her too much.”

“Me?” You raised a brow with a scoff. “And you don’t?”

“I mean-” He watched how you smirked up at him. His cheeks warmed a bit. “This whole vacation was your idea.”

“I know. But you’re often the one bending over to Jolyne’s every wishes, Jotaro-ssi.”

“Oi.”

“I get it!” You both turned to the elderly man. “You both are loving parents to that little girl! Have your squabble elsewhere before the baby starts crying again.”

You and your husband shared one look at each other and with that, a smile grew on both your faces.

---

Jotaro’s job was far from over. Stand users still run rampant in society as he speaks but even then, there was this reassuring sense of peace that often blanketed over his worries.

It took Jotaro months to realize that the source of his reassurance and light heart was the happiness and trust of his family that was with him all throughout this nomadic trip. The trust and love he had for his wife led him to this moment where he can put down the walls of his rigid stoicism and enjoy some semblance of normalcy that you both had wanted.

Just like an ordinary family.

Who knew something as mundane as packing up clothes and toiletries would something he’d prefer over throwing fists at somebody. It became a routine to him considering the number of times they had to the same thing with each country and its many cities.

Ironically, it was even a bit funny that he was finding amusement in the minute details of their daily living: The assigned roles of who was to pack what (Jotaro for the work equipment, you for the clothes, Jolyne for the toiletries), the frequent usage of Star Platinum, Silent Sanctuary, and Stone Free in doing simple assistive work, the banter you somehow still kept up with him throughout the years, his child’s laughter messing with her great grandfather etc.

And so as he tucked the last of the folders in the luggage, Jotaro cocked his head and felt his lip curl up at his own thoughts. “Unbelievable.”

You passed by and glancing at his organizational skills, let out an impressed “ooh” and turned to him. “Got everything packed?” He nodded once. “Your thesis papers? The Stand users’ profiles? Our personal documents?”

“Done. Also double-checked just in case.”

“As expected from you,” you said and got on your tiptoes to peck a chaste kiss on his cheek. “Watch out now, she’s gonna burst through that door in less than a second now.”

“What makes you say-”

“Eomma! Appa!” You both looked to the doorway to spot Jolyne with her trademark space buns, matching pastel green top and bottom, and butterfly accessories clipped on every inch of her clothes. A bright yellow backpack hung behind her, stuffed to the brim. “I’m ready!”

“I’m sure you are pearl.” He watched her run inside to hug your leg in excitement. In turn, you petted her head with gentle strokes. “Makes me wonder what you keep packing in that little bag of yours all the time.”

“Important stuff.” Jolyne giggled as you pinched her cheek.

But beyond the peaceful bubble of their bedroom, a pair of familiar loud teenage voices joined Joseph’s deaf complaints, causing a ruckus in the lounge area bearing the same eagerness as his child.

Said child jumped at their arrival and squealed with glee, hurrying back to greet the new visitors. “Jojo oppa! Kuyasu oppa!”

Jotaro let out the biggest sigh of the day. “Them again?” You smiled at him apologetically, but he knew you well enough to recognize that underlying smugness that paired with that smile. “Don’t tell me…”

“Jotaro-san! Y/N-san!”

He rolled his eyes at the mention of his name but didn’t resist when you held his hand and tugged him outside. Star hovered out behind to finish packing up all their luggage and carried them out afterwards.

“Josuke, Okuyasu, what are you doing here-” Whatever he wanted to say ended up short when he laid eyes on the two high schoolers… wearing their most casual wear, bulky bags on their backs, and wide grins on their faces. Meanwhile, Jolyne happily perched atop Crazy Diamond’s shoulders.

Jotaro lightly tilted his head to yours and simply muttered a curt “are they really?”

To which you shrugged. “It’s their break. I was thinking they can help us recommend some good spots to visit since they’re locals in the area.”

He wasn’t one to do such thing, but even he could feel himself pout as he said, “We can discover that for ourselves like we always do.”

“Oh come on now love, surely you’re not going to send them home disheartened? I mean, look at our little girl,” he watched as the said child played with the teenagers’ Stands with Stone Free creating many shapes out of its neon blue strings. “She’s so happy her goofy uncles are around. They can also be of big help security-wise if that makes you feel any better.”

Jotaro wanted to refute, his mind trying to come up with something but from a practical standpoint, you had every point in your favor. Instead of digging for more reasons to leave them, he combed his finger through his trimmed curls and heaved a heavy sigh. “I hate it when you have a point.”

You smiled, cheeky. “Where’s Koichi? Isn’t he coming along?”

“We told him to tag with us but he said he wanted to focus on his studies,” Okuyasu said. “And that he can’t leave his girlfriend behind.”

“Which I call foul because I still think she’s controlling and watching his every move,” Josuke added clicking his tongue. “Girl’s an insane stalker, you know?”

“Oh Y/N-san! When do we leave?” Okuyasu said, grabbing the handles of his bag like an elementary grade student about to go on their first school trip. “And what are we riding? Bus? Boat? Plane?”

“I’d like to board a plane…” Josuke mumbled with his thoughts already in the clouds.

“You two,” both boys froze in a second and stood rigid as Jotaro spoke from where he was beside you. “Be grateful Y/N invited you with us. I expect you to behave and minimize inconveniences around my family. Got it?”

“Y-Yes no problem with that Jotaro-san!” Josuke stuttered.

Nothing had even started and he was about to pop a blood vessel as soon as the two boys began to cause chaos in their booked hotel lounge. It was fortunate that you were there to step in and calm him down with a simple hand on his back. Jotaro turned to you and after a quick glance at him, you said to everyone in the room.

“Alright, looks like everything’s settled. Everyone is in attendance so let’s get this show on the road.”

“You kids have fun now,” Joseph said with the baby in his arms opening and closing her fists, mimicking an infant’s version of a wave. “I’ll just rest here with Shizuka. Poor thing might throw a fuss if I leave her alone.”

“Then I’ll have Koichi be the one to assist you then,” you said. “You take care Mr. Joestar.”

---

When planning out where to go for the impromptu trip, Jotaro didn’t think too much about it other than the potential of a Stand ambush. He trusted that you knew what and where you were going and that the two teenagers actually lived up to what was expected of them.

It was only after they boarded a train to the neighboring area and settled in their respective seats did his parental awareness kick in regarding whether or not Jolyne would even love the places they were going to.

If his prior research served him right, there weren’t any extravagant amusement parks or bustling cityscapes nearby that contained the attractions suited to entertain a preschool-aged girl. All there was were a multitude of sightseeing spots designed to interest older people instead of children.

Now looking at his little girl humming on her window seat beside him, happily munching on one of the wafer bars you bought back in Morioh, Jotaro’s mind started to overthink and his heart weighed a bit. I don’t want her to be disappointed. I should’ve told Y/N about modifying the itinerary because what if-

“Yeobo?” Jotaro snapped out from his thoughts to turn to you staring at him with worry. “Something in your mind?”

“It’s… It’s nothing,” he cleared his throat. He could only hope his nonchalance facade is effective. “I was thinking about changing some parts of my thesis, that’s all.”

“Really? Or are you worried about our daughter?”

Damnit. “What gave it away?”

“You kept looking at her eating with that shifty gaze I see in your eyes whenever you’re concerned,” you said. “What is it? Is it security matters again? Because the others are nearby to help out and I can always tell when a threat is within our vicinity.”

“No it’s not that. I got that issue sorted out in my head.”

“Then what?” A soft hand overlaid his and for a moment, his cheeks flared faintly, both at the feel of your wedding ring and your gentle touch. “Tell me.”

He sighed. “Will she enjoy this trip? I’m now recalling the plans you’ve laid out to me beforehand and thinking about it again, it’s not fit for a child’s entertainment. What if she experiences this whole vacation and ends up upset and starts throwing tantrums again when we get home?”

“Entertainment?” Looking away, you raised a hand to your mouth and huffed a breathy laugh. Jotaro remained puzzled as he continued to stare at you wanting solutions. “Love, this is Jolyne we’re talking about. The same Jolyne who wandered about wild forests with endless questions, and who’d find anything new interesting and worth exploring.”

“She’s been with us to isolated, rural places before and she loved every location regardless,” you smiled. “Don’t worry. As long as we’re with her and she has something to do, she’ll be fine.”

“And besides,” you gently patted your tiny bump. Something he always kept an eye on with fondness. “From all these countryside trips, I feel like this bean will grow more into a calmer baby than their sister.”

Reassurances were always something Jotaro never believed in fully being the skeptic that he was and a bit cynical towards the world, but hearing you say them was different- he’s been with you through the years and he’d seen how you’ve done or at least did your best to make sure you kept your word.

And he was grateful that he had someone he could feel this sentiment towards and he was glad it was you. So Jotaro smiled back in return, never saying anything back. Instead, he pressed a light kiss on your temple.

Time passed and eventually, the scenic view out their window transitioned from a stretch of green fields to the gradual transition into rows of blooming cherry blossom trees lining the large clear river down the slope.

The second the train had fully stopped, Jolyne couldn’t wait any longer and hurriedly tugged her parents towards the numerous pink foliage that waited for them. Josuke and Okuyasu stepped in to your aid and offered to play with her while they were there, sparing you from the worry of running and exerting stress to your unborn child and worrying Jotaro in the process.

The younger crowd enjoyed their time doing rounds of tag and role-playing while the “parents” of the group took their time to bask in the pleasing, spring environment. At times, the group would band together in one spot to take some photos with the Polaroid you brought for your travels.

The group proceeded to visit the nearby bay as suggested by the old man and there they continued to take even more memorable pictures as Jolyne wandered about the stone paths and bridges above the body of water. They were lucky enough to board a small boat to cruise them around before they made their last drive for the day.

By the time they reached the last hours of their afternoon, Jolyne grew tired and ended up sleeping the remainder of the day. With his daughter napping in his arms, the group took the chance to visit some of the local shrines within the area. During a break, they settled down momentarily in a nearby shop selling snacks.

While the teenagers goofed around talking about splurging versus saving, Jotaro chose to sit beside you with Jolyne laying on your lap, resting peacefully. Both of you had different treats in hand wanting separate selections. Naturally, you two ended up sharing a bite or two of their respective treats as if they were still the young lovers from high school.

After settling down for the night, the group proceeded to board a bus departing to a neighboring city the day after, and much like their situation in the train, Josuke and Okuyasu began to snicker and gossip to themselves in the seats ahead of Jotaro and his family. The only difference was that his little girl spent the duration of the bus trip with the teenagers, already accustomed to their chaos.

He could only imagine how befuddled and protective he became beside you.

“You’re in that mode again.”

“What mode?”

“Death glares, pressed lips, cocked head, crossed arms, bouncing knee, and lack of child within arms length..” You counted. “You know, papa wolf mode. I’ve took note a total of 3 occurrences so far during our vacation here.”

“Should I be concerned that I’m feeling this way more often? Or that you’re being smug and keeping count of it?”

“What’s it to you?” You smirked with that knowing shrug of yours. Seeing you crossing arms after him had Jotaro scoffing lightheartedly in disbelief, albeit with a curl to his upper lip. “Come on, it’s endearing admit it.”

“Quiet.”

Eventually past the rural side of the place and even more stretches of plains and farms, the bus made it to its destination. Drawn to the many eye-catching arcades immediately seen from where they stand outside the station, the high schoolers returned to Jolyne and with her consent and the permission of her parents, and invited her to play with them.

You shared a look with your husband and in silent resignation, he waved the boys off to do whatever. You allowed it as well under the condition they return and meet-up in the lobby area of hotel after an hour.

Suffice to say, they bolted to the nearby arcade game the second everyone approved. “Good grief,” Jotaro said. “When I got myself prepared to be a parent to 1, I didn’t think I’d be one to 3.”

“4,” you said back.

His eyes widened for a brief moment in realization before letting out a bashful chuckle. He stroked your tummy in soft circles. “You’re right. My bad, little bean.”

Their time spent in the urban landscape wasn’t as grand as they would’ve expected, but at the same time none of you complained. Instead, you discovered that other than the numerous entertainment being offered for the younger members of the group, you found a variety of dishes to try with the family ranging from new sushi items, unique meat selections, battered fish cake on a stick, fluffy custard-filled sponge cakes, flavored mochi treats, and many more.

Your days ended up with filled bellies and bags… upon bags of purchased “souvenirs” the teenagers stacked up during their shopping spree. Funnily enough, they were able to buy that much to begin because Jotaro lent them some money under the pretense that they leave his family in peace for even one day.

That day, Jolyne sported a toothy grin as she added a stuffed kitty and puppy plush to her toy collection from a whole day spent in an indoor amusement park- a prize won by her father and his Stand’s impeccable accuracy at a game of shooting specified number of targets. As a cherry on top, you had a hunch the guy manning the booth rigged the game from the number of unclaimed toys sitting on their shelves and the cocky stance he put on. So you took matters into your hands.

A light ring and a mellow symphony conducted by your Stand ended up swaying the con artist to give away all his prizes to nearby children. He earned enough.

“This is papa,” Jolyne said, taking the paw of her puppy plush to wave at Jotaro. The latter raised a brow at his daughter sitting on his forearm and reached up to pinch her cheeks with his free hand. She fumbled around until she’s able to grasp the kitty’s paw to wave at you. “And this is mama.”

You cooed, combing through her partly-dyed hair. She wanted them down for today and you didn’t see any problem with that. “How about yours, pearl?”

“I’m the butterfly toy back at home,” Jolyne said in return, pouting as she joined paws of both her plushies. “The pretty blue butterfly.”

You smiled and glancing at your husband, he had one on his face as well. “That’s right. You’re puppy-kitty’s little butterfly.”

At that, Jolyne giggled as she snuggled both squeaky plushies into her hug.

Their last stop was a humble, homey village not too far from the city. Known for their crafts, the place gave its visitors a piece of history, nature, local tradition, and its many signature wood products.

Almost immediately, Jolyne hurried over with eager skips to the many workshops available for her to participate in, and just like your child and her 2 older brother-figures accompanying her, you too had to admit that you were also excited to build something.

While they went about their way as usual, you followed after them with a slower stride alongside your husband. “I can just tell you’re brimming to do all sorts of activity here.”

You turned to Jotaro with a confident shrug. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m always up to trying out new stuff.”

“You weren’t exactly the best during that time we had to create wooden statues for arts class.”

“Yah, that was 9 years ago Jotaro-ssi!” You scoffed and playfully slapped his bicep. “A lady can improve. Matter of fact, I have improved when you weren’t around.”

Jotaro smirked, unconvinced. “We’ll see.”

The workshops offered a variety of craft choices to choose from and all members of your group didn’t hesitate to test them out starting from the shop teaching how to make chopsticks from scratch. By the end of the session, your family created 3 pairs of freshly lacquered chopsticks in different colors- violet, burgundy, and olive green.

Josuke and Okuyasu went ahead to visit the workshop that guided them to craft more creative wood works, though knowing them, using their respective Stands to cheat and compete on who would make the better end product was likely what they did without adult supervision.

They spent the entire afternoon exploring the different activities available for them and made personalized trinkets and small wooden decor they could add to spruce their home up. Skill-wise? You weren’t lying when you said you’d somewhat mastered some level of craftsmanship when carving and assembling pieces of chopped wood into various designs.

Beside you, Jolyne created her own custom goodies with Jotaro’s assistance.

After successfully trying out everything, Jolyne spent all her energy for the day and went on to take a nap in her father’s arms, cradling a self-made kokeshi doll swaddled in a forest green handkerchief that she dyed herself- a tiny wooden doll carved, polished, and painted to look like a miniature version of her. And she had Star Platinum to thank.

The sun began to set as the sky’s clear blue gradually transitioned into a beautiful autumn orange. One-by-one, the village houses lit up together with the street lamps that shone upon the dirt path below.

They settled in for the night in a quaint guest house, stowing their bags in their respective rooms, and meeting up to eat dinner at a nearby restaurant serving stew and roast.

And just to finish the vacation on a soft note, why not make use of the hot springs resting just outside their bedroom. Luckily, you were able to book the rooms that had the natural feature before anyone else could, and since the spring was isolated to your spot alone, no one else would be able to interrupt your time in the warm waters and cozy ambiance.

With your daughter now asleep in her pajamas, you invited Jotaro with you for a relaxing soak and seeing there would be no reason to decline, he followed you there.

---

This is what he wanted. Not the stressful fights with Stand users or the hassle of paperwork and research.

Just having to hold you in his arms, resting in solitude without having to worry about the problems of the outside world. As a matter of fact, it dawned on him that during the entirety of this mini trip, any paranoia that would’ve appeared at any moment hasn’t made itself known.

Strangely enough, Jotaro felt safe.

He felt safe and fuzzy inside that it genuinely brought a clear joy to his face and a heart that weighed light as a feather. Every once in a while, he could shut his cold logic for a moment and pretend that he was an ordinary man with his wife and child taking the break he so desperately wanted.

He could live like this forever with you.

“You’re uncharacteristically affectionate tonight, love.”

“Hm?” He blinked once, twice, and realized he was half submerged in steaming water, sitting by the stone with your back against his chest. He also caught himself nuzzling the crook of your neck, arms tightening a bit around your midsection just under your breasts with his hands overlapping over your small baby bump. “Oh…”

“I didn’t tell you to stop though,” you said, reaching up behind you to nudge his head forward and plant a soft kiss on his cheek. “I’m happy that you’re happy, right?”

Jotaro, not needing to be the intimidating and strong Stand user that slayed the immortal DIO, allowed himself to smile and reciprocate your peck with a tender kiss on your lips. Only then did he nod to answer you.

“We’re heading back to Morioh tomorrow and resume doing Stand business,” you said. “I’ll miss this moment of quietness between us.”

You huddled closer to your husband, holding his hands with yours. “This is nice.” He purred in acknowledgment as he rest his chin atop your head. “I wish we had more moments like this. Just you, me, and our children.”

“I’d like that too…”

[creepswrites]

Slashers with a s/o who has a fear of needles or medical things in general please!!☆

SLASHERS with a GN! S/O who is afraid of needles and medical things!

MICHAEL MYERS

He's surprisingly understanding about it!

After years in hospitals himself, he's also a bit apprehensive about needles

He used to be subjected to a lot of medicines against his will so he's standing in solidarity with you

While he won't exactly go to the hospital with you if you have to, when you come back he'll actually initiate touch with you, holding your hand and touching your face

He'll let you cuddle him like a teddy bear if you need to

Michael's not the most emotional guy you know but you can tell he understands your fears when you vent to him about them

If you take medication that require you to do shots on yourself, Michael's apprehensive to help you out

Simply because it freaks you out as much as it freaks him out

Not that he'd let you see it, of course

He could be convinced to help out, so long as you promise to make his favorite for dinner that night

BO SINCLAIR

When you bring it up with him, its because you saw his room under the auto shop

Honestly, he'd been impressed the chair with straps on it, photos of his victims, and the clear signs of torture weren't what upset you

No, it was the syringes you saw on his tools tray

He'd teased you about it at first, but when he restrained you in his arms and threatened to poke you with one, so close to poking into your skin, he'd stopped when you started bawling

Lester had smacked him upside the head for it and he started taking it more seriously

Whenever guests were taken down to the little basement room, you avoided it like the plague. Not that you didn't before, you just had a greater reason to avoid it

After integrating into Ambrose, you didn't really see doctors anymore, but if you absolutely needed to, Bo would give you shots

He'd probably first try to pawn off the work on Vincent or Lester but when you pleaded with him, he caved

You were his biggest weakness and it made his heart clench to see how much you trusted him, despite everything

He even made sure the syringes in his dad's old office were put out of sight somewhere safe so you didn't have to see them

You avoided the office a lot anyways, it made your stomach hurt to be in

BILLY LOOMIS

Billy doesn't see the big deal, honestly

The two of you had been watching horror movies together, cuddled up on his couch, and you'd become incredibly distressed when one of the characters got injected with something

You'd buried your face into his neck with a sob and he paused the movie to make sure you were okay

Despite his low empathy, he didn't like seeing you cry, so you'd told him all about it

If you ever had to go to the hospital, Billy would comfort you when you saw him

He'd make sure to grab your favorite snacks and have a warm blanket ready at home

If you needed to self-administer shots, he'd happily offer to help

To be honest, he was a bit curious about it. He'd probably make a big show of it

But he'd be a bit flattered if you don't wince or cry when he does it. He thinks its because you trust him not to hurt you permanently

Billy would probably suggest "exposure therapy" via movies

When he noticed just how bad you'd shake and cry, he'd stop. He loved you, after all, but he always went for a solution before comfort

He made sure his movie suggestions going forward didn't have needles or hospitals as the main focus

LESLIE VERNON

Leslie's fine with it honestly! It doesn't bother him

When you have to pick him up from the morgue, though, he notices you shaking outside

It's not a hospital, but it's close. And you fucking hate it.

Leslie gives you a quick hug and is quick to get you out of there

But, because of his injuries, he needs your help with giving him shots

You're trembling and all but fainting when he asks, your fears completely slipping his mind until he sees your face

"Babe, looks like you've seen a ghost-?" And then it clicks

He's incredibly apologetic, reassuring you he can get Billy's help while you're reassuring him - albeit more shakily - that you can help him

After all, he'd do the same for you!

But he won't let you make yourself miserable for his sake, not at all

He shoos you to the bedroom to take care of himself and you cuddle with your pillow until he comes back

Leslie's idea of romance is laying with you in bed, drawing patterns on your skin with his fingers, telling you how he'll blow up every hospital ever so that you never feel uncomfortable

It's a little bit sweet...

[whumpshaped]

double pet whumpees. dog and cat. a mix of drugs and good ol' fashioned conditioning have turned their brains into piles of mush incapable of complex thought, but they are extremely attached to each other. master is cold and mean and kicks me when i stand in their way, but kitty friend/doggy friend is soft and warm and cuddles with me after, that sort of thing.

when they're rescued, initially the caretaker(s) separate them, so they can each recover at their own speed and get individual focus, but it quickly becomes evident that that's not going to work. after a full 24 hours of constant barking and yowling, slamming and scratching against the doors to the rooms their being kept in, the two of them do the exact same thing: curl up in the corner of their room and cry. they refuse to eat, drink, or even get up, and flinch away from any touch.

not wanting these poor things they literally just rescued to deprive themselves to death, the caretaker(s) relent and put them back in the same room, and it's like magic how quickly they perk back up. bonded pair, do not separate. and the caretaker(s) suppose their are infinitely more pressing issues than their codependency at the moment.

arin and bee are placeholder names for caretaker a and b, not real ocs

content: past trauma, multiple whumpees, conditioned whumpee, rocky recovery, comfort

Arin sighed as she watched the two pitiful things interact for the first time in three days. They hadn't let go of each other in at least ten minutes, and if she had to guess, they weren't going to let go for a good while.

The bigger one, the one that acted like a dog with all the barking and whining, was holding the smaller one, gently rocking them back and forth. That one acted like a cat, mewling and all, was almost purring in their friend's embrace.

"They're gonna need so much therapy," Bee said quietly. Arin only nodded. "What sort of sick fuck takes two people captive and... trains them to act like animals? To this extent?"

"I don't know," she muttered. She was exhausted. She didn't want to think about it.

"I'm not an advocate for the death penalty, but—"

"Bee."

She shrank back a little. "Sorry. It just... It makes me so angry. I want to strangle the fucker. I just... want these guys to be okay."

"I know. We all do. But fantasising about murder isn't gonna get us any closer." Arin finally pushed herself away from the table she had been leaning against and went to open the door that led into the survivors' room. "I hope they'll accept food now that they're together again."

[mariii1]

★*☆♪ How to up your game ♪☆*★

Or choose:

1 2 3 4

This can apply to any situation! This is probably going to be my first and last serious "advice" pac. Please take this lightly, it's very rare to have a tarot reading that genuinely helps/changes your life cuz you (usually) don't have a personal connection with anyone reading for you. Also, I don't believe in new age spirituality that much, so if you came here asking how to up your spiritual/astral game up, I'm not the one ong 😙

Pile 1.

Collaborating with other people, especially if you feel stuck on/with something mentally. Asking for help and another trusted opinion. This could also be trying to get information from others for an idea or a problem. Finding some sort of mentor, teacher, or therapist.

Pile 2.

Reassesing the difference between boundaries and coping mechanism. Isolation is not a boundary but a coping mechanism. If this is about a person they have pure intentions/motives for whatever you're asking about. It might be in your best interest to focus on letting them in. This could also be about blocking love or accepting nice deeds from others bc of your inner thoughts. Therapy and/or learning how to work with yourself is a good solution.

Pile 3.

Letting go in some way or getting help in order to let go. Possibly finding others or systems to help you stop going back. Letting go of a resistance to change, especially if it's about how you view yourself. Similar to pile 2.

Pile 4.

Taking initiative. Not waiting for outside validation or permission. Making conscious choices and always actively choosing to go towards this goal. Demystifying an experience or journey. Personalizing something to suit you. Some people here might be neurodivergent.

[bonny-kookoo]

can we get to know more about tongue tied mc's past? 👉👈 or maybe mc's improvement with the help of the pack

"It's a bit much to handle, isn't it?" Jimin asks, as he watches Jungkook tear up at the sight of you happily chasing Taehyung on the stage- and from far away like this, your slight issues in coordination can be seen a lot more clearly. It's very evident that one of your legs seems weaker than the other, but that doesn't appear to bother you all too much as Taehyung lets you catch up to him, dramatically falling down to have you catch him.

It's been only recently that Jungkook has been given official records of you via his own request- and what everyone's found in them had been a lot to handle.

You've been through so much- and yet you're here, improving day by day, slowly erasing all the damage done step by step. You're able to talk in basic sentences now, and while you've still got some trouble pronouncing things, you're very much able to communicate your thoughts well by now. You're also so much more confident in what you do and how you act around the pack- everyone's a lot closer now thanks to you.

"We can protect her from now on." Jimin reassures the younger hybrid, patting his back. "She's safe with us now." He says, watching how Seokjin laughs when you cling onto Yoongi's leg, making the rapper struggle to walk away from you.

"She might never fully recover." Jungkook sighs, collecting himself again. "There's a chance she will- She hasn't been seen by a doctor in years, there might be so much more going on that we don't even know yet." Jungkook rants, watching how you let Namjoon tug you around by your hands, while Seokjin scolds him not to drag your pretty clothes on the dirty stage.

"We will tackle anything that's gonna happen." Jimin reassures his packmate. "She's part of the pack now, after all." He chuckles.

"Do you think I made a mistake?" He asks quietly, still keeping his eyes on you. "When we.."

"I don't think so." Jimin declines, shaking his head. "Like you said, she initiated it, and was clearly aware of what you two were doing the entire time. She's not a kid or something- she's not even a year younger than you." He reminds him. "Yeah, she might still struggle with her words sometimes- but she's definitely not clueless. And remember- her new evaluation is still due, but I'm sure she's not even remotely close to a five at all." He explains, reminds his friend.

It's true that you're going to be evaluated by a specialist soon- clearing up finally where you truly stand on the hybrid-scale.

You're tugging on Jungkook's sleeve suddenly, and he turns towards you in pure instinct, leaning down to listen to what you might have to say. "Do you want come eat?" You ask. "With us?" You add on, and Jungkoo nods, before he watches you run off again, tail wagging as you stumble a little bit for a second, easily catching yourself though.

"Maybe physical therapy could help her." Jimin hums as they both walk after you to go get food. "I know it helped Yoongi-hyung a lot when he recovered from his shoulder surgery." he shrugs.

"You think there's stuff we could do at home with her?" Jungkook wonders. "Like, I have a lot of gym equipment at home, maybe I could look up some stuff for her to do.." He already thinks, and Jimin laughs, patting his back.

"That's the right way to go." He praises. "Don't get stuck on where she's now, and what's been in the past. Rather-" He laughs, watching you duck under Hoseok's arm to attempt to get to the food first, just to be tugged back by Seokjin. "-rather look ahead at what's to come." The singer offers, before he joins everyone in the fight over the food.

And Jungkook joins in a bit later as well, after deciding that Jimin is right.

He should focus more on what he can do now to make your life the best it can be, how to help you improve even more from here on out.

Because you're part of the pack, after all.

And a pack looks out for each other.

Always.

[venusiancharisma]

Ancestral Karmas Con't

Our natal charts hold valuable information about the karmic patterns and challenges we may have inherited from our ancestors. By understanding these astrological indicators, we can work towards releasing and transforming ancestral karma. Let's explore the various factors that can help identify ancestral karma and how to find guidance for healing in our natal charts.

I. Planets and points associated with ancestral karma

A. South Node (Ketu)

1. Represents past life experiences, ingrained habits, and karmic patterns

2. Indicates areas of life where we may feel stuck or comfortable

B. Saturn

1. Represents karmic lessons, limitations, and responsibilities

2. Highlights areas where we need to develop discipline and overcome obstacles

C. Chiron

1. Represents deep-seated wounds and opportunities for healing

2. Indicates areas where we may carry ancestral pain or trauma

D. 12th House

1. Represents the unconscious mind, hidden influences, and past life experiences

2. Indicates areas where we may carry ancestral baggage or secrets

II. Signs and aspects that may indicate ancestral karma

A. Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces)

1. Represent emotional patterns, family dynamics, and intuitive connections

2. Indicate areas where we may carry ancestral emotional baggage

B. Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn)

1. Represent initiating energy, family roles, and relationship patterns 2. Indicate areas where we may carry ancestral patterns of behavior or responsibility

C. Aspects to the South Node, Saturn, or Chiron

1. Conjunctions, squares, and oppositions to these points may intensify karmic challenges

2. Trines and sextiles to these points may provide opportunities for healing and growth

III. Finding guidance for releasing ancestral karma in the natal chart A. North Node (Rahu)

1. Represents our path of growth, new experiences, and karmic liberation

2. Indicates areas of life where we can focus on personal development and healing

B. Aspects to the North Node

1. Planets in conjunction, trine, or sextile to the North Node can support our growth

2. Planets in square or opposition to the North Node may challenge us to overcome karmic obstacles

C. Houses and signs occupied by the North Node, Saturn, and Chiron

1. The house and sign placement of these points can provide specific guidance for healing

2. Engaging with the energies and themes of these houses and signs can support karmic release

IV. Additional tips for releasing ancestral karma

A. Engage in practices that support emotional healing and self-reflection

1. Therapy, counseling, or support groups

2. Journaling, meditation, or energy healing modalities

B. Connect with ancestors and family history

1. Research family stories, documents, and photographs

2. Engage in ancestral healing rituals or ceremonies

C. Practice forgiveness and letting go

1. Forgive yourself and your ancestors for past mistakes or traumas

2. Release attachment to ancestral patterns that no longer serve you

In astrology, certain degrees in the zodiac are believed to hold special significance and can indicate ancestral karma in a natal chart. These degrees are often referred to as "critical degrees" or "karmic degrees." Here are some of the most notable degrees that may indicate ancestral karma:

0° of any sign:

Known as the "Aries Point" or "World Axis"

Indicates a powerful starting point or initiation

May represent ancestral karma related to leadership, pioneering, or self-identity

4° of any sign:

Associated with the idea of "rooting" or "grounding"

May indicate ancestral karma related to family, security, or emotional foundations

8°-10° of any sign:

Known as the "Aries Decanate"

May indicate ancestral karma related to initiative, action, or self-assertion

13°-15° of any sign:

Known as the "Libra Decanate"

May indicate ancestral karma related to relationships, partnerships, or social harmony

17° of any sign:

Associated with the idea of "release" or "letting go"

May indicate ancestral karma related to surrender, forgiveness, or spiritual growth

19°-21° of any sign:

Known as the "Gemini Decanate"

May indicate ancestral karma related to communication, learning, or adaptability

26°-28° of any sign:

Known as the "Pisces Decanate"

May indicate ancestral karma related to spirituality, compassion, or self-sacrifice

29° of any sign:

Known as the "Anaretic Degree" or "Karmic Degree"

Indicates a point of completion, culmination, or intense karma

May represent ancestral karma that needs to be resolved or released

It's important to note that the interpretation of these degrees can vary depending on the specific sign and house they fall in, as well as the planets or points that occupy them. Additionally, other factors in the natal chart, such as aspects and planetary configurations, can also provide insight into ancestral karma.

To gain a comprehensive understanding of ancestral karma in a natal chart, it's essential to consider the overall chart pattern, the placement of the lunar nodes, and any significant aspects or configurations involving Saturn, Chiron, and the 12th house. I offer personal astrology readings for any topic imaginable - $49.00 is my full price until Summer.

Remember that while these degrees can indicate ancestral karma, they are not the sole determinants. A skilled astrologer can help synthesize the various elements of a natal chart to provide a more personalized and nuanced interpretation of an individual's karmic inheritance and potential for healing.

[cod-dump]

Non-Human/Monster AU:

Roach is a siren who took a vow of silence in order to prevent him from accidentally hypnotizing people or seducing them. After one too many instances where he unintentionally seduced someone, he decided to stop verbally communicating and learned BSL. He spends the majority of his time in pool on base and wears gear to help keep moisture in when away from it for long periods of time. As a socially unaccepted non-human, Roach keeps to himself and refrains from going into public.

Price is an elf, having lived through many eras thanks to his elven blood. Along with being resistant to fire and extreme temperatures, Price is generally immune to most magic. Unfortunately, this immunity also prevents him from being able to perform magic himself, and effectively making it where he cannot be healed by healing magic and has to use old fashioned medicine to get better. While Price and others have speculated that he is cursed, nothing has been done to break it due to him living as long as he has without issue.

Soap is a wolf lycan, or a werewolf. Being one of the more socially accepted non-humans, Soap was able to grow up in a healthy environment. And like his father, Soap chose to take the initiative to become a certified support lycan. While he had a bright career ahead of him involving therapy and rehabilitation, Soap chose to join the military and help active soldiers. He was paired with several different soldiers to be their support lycan but ultimately went separate ways when Soap started to focus more on himself.

Gaz is a changeling who was adopted by the mother of the child he was originally meant to replace. When his adoptive mother went to retrieve her stolen child, she refused to give Gaz back and decided to raise him as her own. Despite being a socially unaccepted non-human, his mother gave him a good life and Gaz identified vaguely as just a 'fae' to prevent as much hostility as possible towards him. Gaz has a gift in magic due to his fairy blood and is talented in breaking wards and shielding his team from magical attacks.

Ghost is a unidentified undead creature. Like all undead beings, he is ridiculed and rejected by society, which led him to living a very introvert lifestyle. None know what he is but it is known that he shows a strong sense of loyalty towards Price and never puts himself first, no matter the situation. He always chooses to care for his team and those under his care, ignoring his own injuries or care. Ghost never talks about his past and avoids even acknowledging that someone had even mentioned anything about it.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Info and Resources for Questioning Systems

Our old post with resources is out of date and doesn’t have that much information, so we’ve decided to put this together! Please let us know if we should make any corrections or if you have resource ideas you’d like us to add to this post.

NOTE: Before we get started, it’s so important to mention that every system should rule out trauma first before considering other origins. This is because complex dissociative disorders can present in covert ways, and function by hiding trauma from some alters. Even if you’re certain you’re not traumatized, please research and understand complex dissociative disorders before learning about other origin types. It’s possible to not remember or misunderstand trauma. Ruling it out first will save you a lot of difficulty and heartache in the future!

NOTE 2: As a system, we understand the terms “tulpa” and “tulpamancy” are cultural appropriation, and believe that as a community a different term for these systems should be selected. However, until that happens, we will continue to link handy resources for these sorts of systems.

Now, onto the resources!

This is not a complete list! If there’s any resource you’ve found useful and would like us to add, please get in touch!

Websites:

CDD (DID and OSDD-1) Specific:

Beauty after Bruises, and especially their article on myths and misconceptions about DID

Multiplied by One, a DID nonprofit that has a wealth of resources on dissociative disorders and CPTSD (and offering support for those in need!)

First Person Plural, another great nonprofit

ISSTD’s public resources

The Cleveland Clinic’s page on DID

Survivors’ Network (not to be confused with the Survivors’ Network Discord) page on DID

The National Alliance on Mental Illness’ info on dissociative disorders

DIS-SOS, a blog with tons of info on trauma, dissociation, and living with both

osdd.one, a site with information on complex dissociative disorders with a focus on OSDD-1

NAMI Michigan’s DID fact sheet

The Healthy Place’s blog on Dissociative Living

Non-CDD Specific:

What is Plurality/Multiplicity? by YoppVoice

More than One

Tulpa.io, Tulpanomicon, and Tulpa.info, all sites where tulpas, thoughtforms, willomates, and their creators can share their experiences

The Daemon Page

Daemonism 101

Manchester Metropolitan University’s Understanding Multiplicity

Plurality-Resources (traumagenic, not CDD, specific)

The Plurality Playbook, a resource for plurality in the workplace (for employees and managers)

Endogenic Hub

The Dissociative Initiative includes resources for both CDD systems and others who experience multiplicity

Soulbonding Info Carrd

Pluralpedia, a plurality wiki created and maintained by systems for systems

Podcasts:

The System Speak Podcast

The Bag System Podcast

Tumblr Blogs:

@pluraldeepdive

@system-society

@dear-systems

@plural-culture-is

@subsystems

@plurals-helping-plurals

YouTubers:

Pink Sugar Fairies

The Alexandrite System

FragmentDID

The Rings System

The CTAD Clinic

(psst! if you’re an endogenic/not-trauma formed system YouTuber, please let us know! we’d love to check out your videos and add your channel to this list!)

Other:

This Google Drive folder has 13 books on mental health, with a focus on dissociative disorders and trauma.

This Google Drive folder also has a bunch of great resources (keep in mind there are some repeats in both drives)

UTEP’s Mental Health Awareness Training infographic on dissociative disorders

Our own posts on Understanding DID, Establishing Contact with Headmates, Dissociative Amnesia, and Depersonalization vs. Derealization

Seeking help through therapy:

(specifically specialists in dissociative disorders)

Psychology Today’s search page for finding therapists who specialize in dissociative disorders

Carolyn Spring’s article, How to find a therapist for a dissociative disorder

The ISSTD’s Find a Therapist page

Websites we do NOT recommend can be found here! Note: some of the resources we’ve linked here have their own links to websites we don’t recommend. Please use your best judgement when visiting sites, and understand that we as a system DO NOT endorse the sites listed in the link above, even if we’ve included resources that link to those sites.

We hope y’all are able to find some of this useful! Again, please let us know if you have any resources you’d like us to add to this list. Thanks so much, everyone!

[wistfulwatcher]

"at least natalie's death was narratively satisfyin—"

no. it wasn't. they gave us a character who has struggled with addiction her whole life. struggled with self-harm in a variety of forms. who has felt lost and guilty for the last twenty-five years. a character who has been suicidal multiple times in the past, a character who was literally suicidal a week ago.

and you killed her a day after she started to actually, truly try to heal.

yes, this show has always been dark. yes, from the first moment of the entire series we knew these girls committed unspeakable violence on one another, and did so ritually. yes, we knew that the adult versions of these characters spent the last twenty-five years struggling with their guilt and shame and trauma, and were doing it very, very poorly.

all of this just shows that the story has been in their struggle. this has been—or at least it was initially sold as—a show about women and their trauma. a show about women who don’t know how to examine their trauma, don’t know how to process it. who can’t take more than small glances at what happened, but who can also never, ever forget that it’s there. this has been a show about women who are coping, most times poorly, but very, very realistically.

and there was so much hope in that, despite (or because) this is such a dark show. these women can screw up and struggle and be real people—which women never get to be on television—and still maybe, they can heal bit by bit. there was always an inherent hope in this story, because they were all still, as adults, trying to make a life for themselves even if they were muddling through it.

in season two, natalie starts to heal at the retreat. (apparently—i personally found her 180 between "qui" and "burial" highly suspect and very poorly executed, but that's a moot point now.) she spends most of the season struggling against lottie, but finally accepts lottie's therapy (thanks to lisa) and beginning with "burial" she keeps trying to get the girls to talk about what happened. she figures out what she needs to move forward—to finally, truly address what happened in the wilderness by talking about it. that becomes her goal, and her focus with the others.

but natalie doesn't get to talk about anything. the girls want to drink instead of talk in "burial". and in "it chooses," the second nat suggests they talk, lottie shuts her down and suggests they drink poison instead. natalie is sober, and trying to do what she thinks she is supposed to do by confronting her trauma. she has made all of the "right" choices to actually heal from her pain, but she never gets to.

natalie’s entire story line, set up in her very introduction in the pilot, is to find her purpose. she talks about her self-destructive behaviors being due to her lack of one, and makes it clear that she intends to find that purpose once she leaves therapy. thus, for natalie’s story to be narratively satisfying, her story needs to end with her finding that purpose, right? which means that, if we are to treat this as a narratively satisfying ending, then natalie physically sacrificing her life for lisa is supposed to be that purpose. 

but death is not a purpose. and, to portray it as such for a character who has tried to commit suicide is, honestly, disgusting to me. especially for a character who was saved—again, a week ago—from her attempt by the very woman who then encourages her to drink poison that is used to "put animals out of their misery". who is then told in her death vision to “let the wilderness in” (when "the wilderness" has been a pretty clear metaphor for trauma!!!). they spent all season telling a suicidal character to suddenly let go and give in and stop resisting in a narrative that leads to her “””finding purpose””” in her fucking death. not to mention letting that death be recorded as "an overdose" after she has been explicitly sober as part of her growth!!

a far, far more narratively satisfying path for natalie is for her to actually find a purpose that is consistent with the hunter-protector she’s always been described as. in “no compass” tai says that natalie is the reason they all made it out of the wilderness. (again, wilderness as a metaphor for trauma!) so why, on earth would the better story line, the more consistent story line, the more satisfying story line—especially when this show is all about parallels and cycles repeating—not be natalie leading them all out of “the wilderness” by helping them process the trauma? by getting them all to talk about it?

(i didn’t necessarily need or expect yellowjackets to give a truly “good” message or resolution—bittersweet would be plenty for me—but can you imagine the beauty of that story? the character who has felt nothing but pain and guilt, who has been alone for the majority of her life, who has never felt good and stable love, being the one to break through the trauma first? the one who finally learns to heal first, and protects them all once again by leading them through the wilderness? a story of a woman supporting women through trauma that only they can understand?)

instead natalie's story goes from struggling with her pain and guilt, to trying to find some purpose in her life, to losing that purpose and attempting suicide, to being saved and actually starting to address her trauma head-on. and then dying before she can. i'm sure there are some people who believe that this is character growth (the briefest moment of addressing her trauma), but it wasn't; her growth is blunted by her death.

and this makes her death both tragic and unsatisfying. a character who struggles so hard and so long, who finally, finally sees a light, and the moment she reaches for it, is shifted back to where she was a week ago, having never gotten to actually grow.

so no, just because i am personally devastated by nat's death does not mean that i am blind to the narrative; quite the opposite. i am furious both as a fan of the character and a fan of the story. i feel deceived, disappointed, and insulted by every single part of this story. i feel like we were all cheated out of what could have been a beautiful exploration of a complex and fascinating character. and on top of all that i am very, very hurt.