#inside of shays brain

[rogue-centric]

muppet creed makes a comeback because i needed a mandated break from my paper

[nervousenby]

Once again I have the brain sandworms.

[southsideserendipity]

drunk & disorderly (alternate ending) (Kelly Severide x Reader)

Synopsis: Your alcoholic father shows up at the firehouse, persistent on making amends.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol abuse, violence, swearing, Kelly being protective AF <3.

Word Count: 2.7k

*This is an alternate ending for one of my imagines: drunk & disorderly. They can be read separately and in interchangeable order. Link to my master list."

“Shay, we are never drinking that much the night before a shift again. I’m so hungover” you groaned, throwing your head back in exasperation in the passenger seat of the ambulance. You were returning to the station after the first call of the day, and the pounding of your temples was exacerbated with every bump in the road. 

“Oh c’mon, Y/N, we can handle a lil hangover” she said jokingly. “Besides, wasn’t that drinking game fun?” She asked in a suggestive tone while wiggling her eyebrows. 

“I’m not sure, I can’t exactly remember last night’s events” you giggled, trying to rack your brain for a hint as to how the evening played out.

“Well, what I remember extremely vividly is you and Severide not being able to stop flirting with each other,” Shay said this without taking her eyes off of the road, but you knew she wasn’t as annoyed as she was making herself out to be. She loved the idea of the 2 people she loved the most being together. 

“I can’t confirm or deny my actions or the events that occurred last night” you led in a serious note, trying to cover up your schoolgirl crush on Severide in a playful manner.

“Oh, just fuck him already! Blame it on the alcohol!” Shay encouraged, using her hands to help communicate the message. “I know you like him, and who’s to say he doesn’t want you?” she questioned.

“I’m not sure Shay, you would know the most given the fact that you live with him, wouldn’t you? Has he said anything to you??” Turning your entire torso towards her, you suddenly become very invested in the conversation. You had made comments to Shay about how hot Severide is, but you’ve never fully expressed your interest in him.

“My lawyer says no further comment” Shay responds, zipping the imaginary zipper on her lips and throwing away the key. 

“Oh come on, Shay!! Help a girl out” you moaned in defeat, crossing your arms in front of your chest despite knowing that what the 2 roommates were discussing was private.

Shay was the person who got you and Kelly close to begin with. Being that you and she were ambulance partners, you went over to their place often, seeing him just as much as you see her. 

“He may or may not have said some things about you, but that’s all I can say!” Shay spat out the sentence, picking up the speed as it went on as if the faster she said it, the less of a chance Kelly was to somehow find out. 

“Oh, this conversation is NOT over" you responded. You weren’t ready to drop the topic anytime soon, but you had arrived back at the firehouse.

Before you could pester her with further interrogations, you saw a figure as she was pulling into the ambulance bay.

“Who is that?” Shay exclaimed, confused that someone was blocking her. 

You squinted your eyes, confident that they were playing tricks on you based on who you were perceiving to be there. Once Shay had driven as close as she could without running them over, you knew your eyes were not deceiving you. 

“My dad” you spat angrily, upset that this was your current reality; that a member of your toxic family had followed you to the one good thing in your life. 

You were both frozen in the ambulance; you, unsure how to avoid this interaction, and Shay, confused as to how she could help you. 

You got out of the ambulance and began making your way inside, pretending that your dad was an invisible man and that his presence had no effect on you. Shay followed suit. 

When you walked past him you heard him scoff, and he threw his hands up in the air, resembling confusion.

“You’re just gonna walk past me. No ‘Hi dad, how are you? Long time no see.’” You couldn’t believe what you just heard, but once you partially processed it, you decided that this was indeed your battle to pick today.

You had moved to Chicago from Toronto after applying to the academy, deciding that between your narcissistic and emotionally abusive mother, and your alcoholic dad, it was time to leave; not to run away, but to survive. 

Your older brother is a firefighter in Toronto, and you easily could’ve gotten a job at his firehouse, but you had always loved Chicago and decided to bite the bullet. 

“You have some nerve.” Slowly turning around to face him, you tried to keep yourself from seeing red. He didn’t deserve to know he got a reaction from you. “Showing up at my place of work unexpectedly and expecting me to give you the time of day.” 

“I just want to talk, Y/N.” You started hysterically laughing once you heard what he had said, the anger presenting itself through laughter. Your father was confused as to why you were reacting this way, and quite frankly, so was Shay. She had never seen you so upset.

“Get out of my firehouse. You don’t deserve to be here.”You pointed towards the street, urging him to get out of your sight. 

“Y/N just hear me out. I know I don’t deserve it but it’s been so long and I just want to be a part of your life again. Things are different now.” The pounding in your head was starting to become excruciatingly unbearable the further this conversation continued.

You could hear the sounds of squad and truck rumbling down the street and you knew that you needed him to leave before the entire house got back. 

“Yeah, things sure as hell are different, I left before I suffocated and you couldn’t give a rat’s ass where I ended up. Until today, a random Saturday morning 2 YEARS after I spoke to you last. I want you to leave, NOW. Don’t make me escalate this situation.” You were sick of people walking all over you- blood-related or not, and you weren’t going to have any of this. Especially not in front of your 51 family.

By the time you finished your spiel, truck and squad were both parked and beginning to filter out, undressing from their turnover gear.

Severide hopped out, pulling his turnover gear down to his waist. He was wearing his lieutenant shirt with suspenders, and his squad 3 baseball cap. He would make subtle glances over, not wanting to make the fact that he was eavesdropping obvious.

“I’m not going anywhere until you decide to give me another chance. Until you let me make things up to you” he pleaded, reeking of desperation. 

At this point, heads were turning to observe the interaction.

“I gave you one too many chances, and I’m done. I’m not sure how you didn’t get the hint that I wanted nothing to do with you when I moved countries, but I’m now verbally letting you know that this relationship is over.” You had thought about simply walking into the firehouse but you didn’t want to risk finding out whether he had the gall to follow you. 

At this point, a few members of 51 had filtered into the lounge, knowing that they probably weren’t meant to be listening to the conversation. Others took their sweet time getting undressed to keep an eye on the situation.

Severide was especially lingering, always having an urge to protect you against harm’s way. He didn’t know much about the situation given that you kept your past secretive, but knowing how abusive fathers can be, he stood near.

“C’mon, Y/N, you’ve always been so damn stubborn. Do you need to act like this when I’m trying to prove to you that I can be better?” Your dad was genuinely curious as to how you could be so cutthroat towards him as if his drinking didn’t ruin the first 2 decades of your life.

“I don’t think you need to prove anything to her. It’s pretty clear you’re not a part of her life and that she wants it to stay that way.” You didn’t expect to hear Kelly’s voice from behind you all of a sudden.

“Kel, it’s okay. I got this.” You felt torn between wanting him to stand up for you and telling him you can fight your own battles. He stepped closer toward you, and Shay took a couple of steps back, knowing you now had extra protection. 

“And who are you?” your father asked, not breaking eye contact with you. His hands were placed on his hips, and by his body language, it was evident that he was not leaving without a fight. 

“Lieutenant Severide of 51, and respectfully, I’m asking you to leave my firehouse” Severide stated in a calm but straightforward manner. He crossed his arms and waited intently. 

Your dad chuckled in what seemed to be astonishment while shifting his eye contact repeatedly from you to Severide. “Sleeping your way to the top; very typical of you Y/N. I thought you would’ve changed your ways by now” your dad scoffed. 

You were beyond pissed off that he was even here right now, but that comment officially made your blood boil. Thinking about what you could say in response, your dad decided to speak up once again.

“Let me ask you, how long have you been fucking my daughter, lieutenant?” He said the last word as if it was dirty. 

Kelly stepped right up to him as if he had no fears, something you wish you could’ve warned him about before doing. You were grateful your dad appeared to be sober because if he hadn’t, a brawl would’ve already broken out between them.

“Y/N has been nothing but a talented and competent paramedic with a great amount of expertise in her field. She‘s proven time and time again that she’s a necessary addition to this team, and deserves to be a part of this family- she did that all by herself, no thanks to you. Now get out of my firehouse before the chief gets back and escalates this even further.”

You were blown away by Severide’s words, unaware of his thoughts regarding your presence at 51. He managed to respond in a professional yet serious manner, and he did it with ease, seeming completely unbothered by confrontation. The two men were still face to face, and Kelly was not ready to back down for nothing and no one. 

“Whatever.” Your dad hadn’t let Kelly escape his gaze for even a millisecond. “You know, maybe I’d have a bone to pick if I came here out of my own free will. This was just part of my 12 steps. Step 9: Make amends” your dad said with a smirk.

Despite not wanting to hear your father out for anything he had to say, the fact that he was here for his benefit and not out of sincerity was your final straw.

It took you a second to even fathom the possibility that he came here for selfish reasons, but once you did, you couldn’t stop yourself. 

You lunged at him and began unleashing. “FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Now you solely saw red. While you were attempting to physically release all of your pain onto him, you felt Severide grab onto your waist and rip you off.

Your arms and legs were still thrashing about, despite him being far from your grasp. “Come here, get off of him. It’s okay.” Severide attempted to console you, but you were furious. 

“Y/N! Enough, he’s not worth it!!!” You heard Shay shouting from behind you. 

Once Severide planted you back on the floor, and you adjusted the stray hairs that had fallen all over your face, you began to catch your breath. 

“What the hell’s going on?” Casey shouted from across the apparatus, walking over with his arms out in question. “Is everything okay?” He glanced between Severide - who looked like he was about to punch a wall, his jaw clenched - and you. 

“Nothing, he’s just leaving,” you said while trying to slow your breathing and resist the urge to fight once again. 

Your father must’ve thought Casey was the chief because he put his arms up in surrender and turned on his heels. 

You abruptly turned around and raced your way into quarters as fast as you could, not comprehending what just happened.

Kelly put his hands on his hips, hanging his head low and then glanced back up toward Shay and Casey while squinting. He knew what it was like when family troubles came into the firehouse, so he felt for you. He didn’t like to see you upset, even though his feelings for you hadn’t been confessed. 

“Who was that?” Casey asked, looking between Shay and Severide as if the answer lay between them.

Meanwhile, you rushed through the doors between the apparatus bay and the inside of the firehouse heading straight for the bathroom. 

Everyone sitting in the lounge immediately shot a glance toward you but didn’t interrupt- you were evidently on a mission, the anger you felt putting a fire under your ass.

You entered the closest stall and closed the lid, taking a seat. The second you did so, the tears automatically began to flow, anger quickly evolving into sadness. 

You heard light taps on the stall, not even realizing someone had walked in. “Y/N?” None other than Severide. 

“I’m good Kel, I promise. I’ll be out soon” you said, trying to keep your voice from quivering. You didn’t want the man you had a crush on to think you’re a damsel in distress who needs saving. 

“Let me in, Y/N. Please.” You think he meant this literally and figuratively. He knew you were lying through your teeth when you said you were okay. “If you don’t want me to come in that’s fine, I’ll stand outside the door, but I’m not leaving you by yourself.” The door jolted and you could tell he was leaning against it, making himself comfortable.

You knew he wasn’t going to leave, given his stubborn character, so you dried up your tears as best as you could with 1-ply toilet paper and unlocked the door. 

He stood up and turned around to face you noticing that your eyes were puffy and your face was red. 

Kneeling between your legs, he looked up at you grabbing a hold of your chin. 

“Are you okay?” He asked intently, scanning your face for any hints of distress.

“I just wasn’t expecting it, Kel. 51 is my only family and I don’t want him to jeopardize that…” Severide urgently nodded in agreement, a sympathetic look on his face. “He won’t” he stated matter o’factly. “I’ll make sure of it.” He was determined to keep you away from your father.

“I’m worried he’s gonna turn back up here, or worse, get you in trouble. It’s not worth you going to the review board because my idiot father reported what happened.” You looked down at him through wet eyelashes, upset that you indirectly put him in this situation.

“He was the unwanted visitor at the firehouse, and everyone can vouch for that. It’s his word against multiple others.” You nodded in hesitant agreement, not fully convinced by his statement. 

“Stay at Shay and I’s for a couple of days, maybe reach out to your brother and see if he knew about him coming here. Or if you wanna stay home, I could get Jay to assign a covert car to your street.” Severide offering you options and comforting you is what you didn’t know you needed.

He looked up at you, glancing between each of your eyes while you attempted to make a decision. 

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you both. If that’s okay” you responded, sniffling the leftover snot in your nose after finally calming down. Just being in his presence lowered your blood pressure.

He nodded his head. “You good to go back out?” He slowly got up and held out his hand for you to take. 

“Thank you, Kel, seriously.” As soon as you stood up, you engulfed him in a hug, the combination of his natural scent and cologne flooding your nostrils. 

He rubbed your back up and down, his chin resting on the top of your head. He kissed your head then said, “Don’t sweat it, sweetheart.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey everyone! I no... long time no chat :( I've had this in my notes for a while and thought I'd post it while I write up some other stuff. I haven't watched the new season's episodes yet, so maybe that'll help the creative flow! I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to the new year :) Again, here is a link to my master list!

[viceroywrites]

early season gary climbs through your window to hide from some kind of invention made by dr venture. he walks in on you masturbating. how does he join in? 👀 (request)

yay thank you so much for the request @kuellerr - i love it!! sorry it took a minute, hope you enjoy :)

-

'Crap, crap, crap, crap!' Gary repeats over and over in his head as he cradles the device in his hand while sprinting down someone's lawn.

The Monarch had tasked 21 and 24 to go in and retrieve an invention Dr. Venture had been working on over the past month as he was set to present it to a board of scientists tomorrow.

Unfortunately, for them, 21 had triggered a sensor on their way out, alerting Brock who was currently chasing them with blood-lust in his eyes.

24 had tossed the device over to Gary to throw Brock off since he was a faster runner out of the two. He huffs, practically out of breath as he tries to find somewhere to hide before Brock realizes that 24 doesn't have it.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a window that it is open and seizes the opportunity, running towards and slipping inside with no other thought on his mind than to escape Brock.

The last he expected to see was you splayed out on your bed, vibrator in hand as you pleasure yourself, your moans the first thing he hears upon entering the room.

He bites down on his lower lip at the sight, feeling a mixture of shock and arousal at the situation he's found himself in. His pants began to feel tight, his cock slowly hardening as he can't look away from the sight.

Your eyes flutter open briefly and they widen at the sight of a man dressed up in a butterfly costume standing in front of your window, half-hard as the yellow material of his costume does a poor job in masking his bulge.

As your eyes meet, you both stare at each other frozen and before you can let out a scream, Gary rushes over to cover your mouth, causing you to look up at him with a slight pang of fear.

"Oh my god, dude, please don't scream! I-I didn't mean to walk in on your personal business, I was trying to get away from someone!" Gary pleads to which you relax against him.

Gary removes his hand and you let out a sigh of relief, "Lower your mask, butterfly boy, then I won't scream."

He complies, lowering the cowl to reveal his face. You take in his appearance, finding him quite cute with his short ponytail and round cheeks. Based of appearance alone, he seemed harmless.

"How the hell did you even get in here?" You mutter to which Gary simply responds by pointing his thumb in the direction of your wide open window.

"I'm so sorry, dude! I swear I'll be out of your hair once the coast is clear for me." Gary says and your eyebrow raises in skepticism, "And how long will that be?"

"Well.." Gary trails off, sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck.

"If it's going to be a while, at least give me some privacy to finish what I started." You sigh, running your fingers through your hair, though your eyes linger on the prominent bulge that strain through Gary's pants, "Looks like you need some too."

Gary glances down and his face goes red, covering up his bulge. "Oh dude, sorry, can't help it. You're super hot."

Your cheeks flush in response and you throw your pillow at Gary, "Alright, go to the other room! I'll come get you when I'm done!"

Gary nods, taking the pillow off the ground to cover up his crotch as he begins to head towards the door. You grab your vibrator, about to turn it back on, before you freeze, realizing it ran out of batteries.

"Fuck me! Now it's dead." You groan, flopping back onto the bed in frustration. Gary winces at your reaction but an idea forms in his head. It's a wild one, straight out of a porno he's watched before.

He walks up to the edge of your bed and clears his throat, "I could like... help you if you want."

You pause, raising your head to look at Gary. The gears in your brain slowly start to turn as you seriously consider the offer - I mean he's pretty cute, definitely packing a Shai-Hulud and you're sure anything he can offer is better than your fingers.

"You're serious?" You say, eyebrow raising.

"Dead serious!" Gary responds, waiting in anticipation and hoping you don't kick him out right then and there.

You pause briefly and Gary winces, ready to be yelled at but to his surprise, he feels your hands on his cheeks, "Well, it's the least you can do for rudely interrupting me, isn't it?"

"Y-Yes." He stutters before groaning as you pull him into a kiss, feeling your tongue eagerly searching for his.

You break your lip lock, panting softly as you tug the fabric of his costume, pulling him down on top of you, "I need your name, butterfly boy."

"G-Gary.." He stutters out, entranced as you pull off your top.

"Alright, Gary, let's see what you can do." You grin.

[abbatoirablaze]

Behind Closed Doors, Chapter 6

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings:  smut, unprotected sex, drunk sex, slight angst.

“Would you stop for two seconds?” he asked softly, his arm wrapping loosely around your waist to turn you to face him. You felt the tears pricking at your eyes and he gave you a sad look, “you don’t have to leave, (Y/N)!  Th-this doesn’t have to happen.”

“Sebastian, Chris was rig-”

“Don’t....” he said quickly, “Don’t get into that mindset.  What Chris said wasn’t right.  What you said was right.  You told him what you were feeling.  You told him what you saw.  I’m here for you and the kids.  He never was.  I love you-”

“Chris told me he loved me too,” you admitted, through your tears, “When we got pregnant with the kids, he told me it all the time.  He-”

You were cut off by his lips crashing into yours.  Your eyes fluttered closed as his hands tangled in your hair, keeping you against him.  You moaned as your back hit the wall, and your hands found their way around his neck as you clung to him.  Your lips worked in tandem, and you felt a high, but you pushed away, snapping out of it, when you felt his tongue entering your mouth.

“Sebastian...no...stop.  He-He wasn’t wrong.  W-he-we had sex!  Th-there’s something here.  It isn’t just you helping me out or being there.  We had sex!” you said, trying to justify it, “a-and you’re telling me that you love me...and kissing me...and you’re acting like you’re Johnny and Shay’s father.”

“You deserve this!” he chuckled drunkenly as he poured the last of the wine into your glass.  You giggled as you lifted it to your lips, the red slipping down your throat all too easily. 

You weren’t a drinker, but it had been a tough couple of months, and Chris had all but frayed the wires of your nerves.

“God do I ever!” you giggled, “I feel like I’m finally getting my bearings.”

“You’re doing amazing!” he said quickly as he dropped the bottle into the trash and made his way back over to the couch where you were sitting.  He was quick to catch your face between his hands, “you-you are doing so amazing!  And I know that you don’t hear it enough, or tell it to yourself, but I’m so proud of you.  Really!  You’re so fucking amazing!”

“You’re just being nice!” you giggled as you put your wine glass on the coffee table and put your hands over his, “you’re just-you're too nice to me, Sebastian!”

“Baby, it’s not that I’m too nice,” he chuckled softly, his eyes seeing deep into your soul, “I’m honest.  And I fucking love you, (Y/N).”

“You love the idea of me-”

“No, I love you!” he said firmly, “all I think about every morning is how you and the kids are doing...I-I love waking up to you making breakfast and Shayla babbling on and on because she is excited to see me too.  I love how Johnny shimmies in your arms when he sees me, but he stays in your arms because he’s a total momma’s boy.  I love getting back from a day of filming and it’s just the four of us...like our own little family.  I love the days off when we get to do little activities together...like going to the park or having tummy time with the twins.  The baths and bedtime stories...I love it all.”

“Sebas-”

You stopped speaking when his lips melted against yours. 

Your eyes fluttered closed, and a fit of butterflies erupted in your stomach.  You moaned against his lips, your brain still processing the fact that his lips were on yours and his hands were holding your face. 

But just as he went to pull away your lips responded in kind, working against his.  You let him push his weight against yours, and your leg slipped around his and to the other side of the couch as he laid you down. 

“Sebastian,” you moaned, feeling him slot himself between your thighs.  Your back arched, your breasts pushing into his face as he grinded his pelvis against yours.  You whimpered, feeling his hardened length straining against his jeans, “Se-Sebastian.”

“I wanna feel you, (Y/N)!” he begged softly, “I wanna be inside you.”

“Want you too!” you whimpered against his lips.  Your hands worked desperately at his pants, trying to free him.  His own hands slipped down to his pants, and he groaned when your hand slipped into them and wrapped around his cock.

“FUCK!” He groaned.  His lips slipped away from yours as you began to eagerly pump him, (Y/N)!”

“Sebastian!”

His lips parted in a silent moan as your finger swiped over his slit.  His hips stuttered as he pulled his jeans and boxers off in one fail swoop, moving your hands out of the way, “god damn!”

“Make love to me,” you begged, shimming down until his cock was pressing against your core; the only barrier between the two of you being your thin lace panties.  He groaned, his head falling forward ever so slightly.  His lips found their way to your jaw, and he kissed up it while the friction from the fabric of your panties made his cock twitch, “haven’t had sex since before the twins were born...since the second trimester....”

His lips found yours once more and you moaned as you tasted the sweetness from the wine on his lips.  His fingers were deft in how they pulled the wet lace from your core, and slipped them to the side, allowing his cock to probe at your entrance. 

You gasped as you felt his tip slowly starting to stretch you.  Your head fell back and lulled to the side as he split you open.  One hand balanced his weight beside your head, and the other he used to pull your body close to his as he buried himself to his base. 

“SEBASTIAN!” you moaned loudly, feeling just how well he not only filled you, but stretched your tightened hole, “oh god...”

“Fuck!  I’ll give you everything, baby!” he promised as his hips moved teasingly slow.  Your thighs clenched when he pulled out, and your legs wrapped around his waist.  Your heels dug into his ass, pushing him back into you, “want me inside you?”

“Want you!” you begged, your mind gone as you became cock drunk.  You pulled his face back to yours and connected your lips once more.

“Want you!” he breathed against your neck as his hips continued on the teasingly slow pace he’d used once he came down from his first high inside of you, “Want you all the time, (Y/N)!  I love you baby.  So beautiful.  Such a good mommy to the babies...fuck, I wanna fill you up and watch you swell with our baby...wanna fuck you full of me and know that I put one in you ...watch you be such a good mommy to our baby too...”

Your core clenched at the little words of praise coming from his lips and the thought of having a child with him.  You could feel the way his cum warmed you, and you shifted arching your body against a little bit more.  The fantasy of him fathering one of your children turned you on even more as you whimpered, “Love the way you fill me up!”

“I love you!” he uttered once more as he peppered kisses up and down the column of your throat.  You whimpered again as the warmth of his lips felt like fire trailing up and down your body, wiping away the sweat from the sexual feast that the two of you had engaged in after you got the twins to sleep, “I love you so much, baby...”

“I-”

“Don’t say it, yet!” he begged, his hips picking up their pace yet again, “I-fuck, I’m close again, baby...I want you to say it as I cum...please...tell me it when I cum again.”

You nodded, pulling his face back to yours so that you could connect your lips once more.  His kisses were distracted, and you knew it was from his impending orgasm.  One hand wrapped around his chest, and your nails dug into his back, while your other hand got lost in his hair, pulling and tugging on it.  His hips had an unven rhythm and you knew just why.

“FUCK!” he growled, breaking the kiss, “I-I’m gonna cum...baby I’m gonna cu-”

“I love you!” you called out as your own orgasm hit you like a freight train.  Your core spasmed around his cock, milking the already sensitive appendage.  Your hands both went around his neck, and you pulled his body closer to yours, while your hips locked around his waist, your entire body spasming with please, “FUCK, SEBASTIAN!”

“FUCK!” he growled as he came.  His jaw dropped and his eyes closed.  You felt him pulsating inside of you as a new feeling of warmth filled your abdomen, “oh, oh god!”

Your eyes fluttered shut as his weight pressed into you, his body giving away the last of the energy it held as he emptied himself into you.  His lips found your neck, and you felt the heavy breathing against it, intermingled with kisses and light nips.

“I love you!” you whimpered softly, repeating how you felt about him. 

“I love you!” he mimicked, his voice sounding drained of all energy as he sighed, “you...you and the twins are my world, (Y/N!)  Love you so fucking much.”

You smiled, feeling the same genuine happiness you allowed yourself to feel since the day Chris showed up at Sebastian’s place. 

After your argument with him, and a small one with Sebastian, where he begged you to stay, he started doing even more for you and the kids.  He started looking at a bigger apartment and had moved the four of you into a two bedroom, where you and the twins shared a room. 

But then you noticed all the little things that Blake had pointed out to you.

He never looked at another woman.  And he always checked on you and the twins to make sure you guys were okay even if he’d had a long day filming and was beyond tired.

On long days, he insisted that you come to set, and he was always taking every break that he had doting on you and the twins.

He was there for you in so many ways, that you eventually found yourself feeling domesticated with him. 

You started making more meals for the four of you, and you noticed just how much the twins really did love him.  So, when Shayla’s first word was ‘da-da,’ at six and a half months, you knew that you couldn’t avoid your feelings anymore. 

“So, what’s on the agenda for today?” he asked, even though he knew his own schedule like the back of his hand.

“It’s your day off...” you reminded him softly as you fed Johnny some strained pears, “you know that, goofball!”

He smiled as you got up, and he put another spoon full of the pureed strawberries near Shayla’s mouth, “I was thinking we could go out to the park...nice day for a walk with the twins...then go to that art exhibit that just opened up.  I know that you were talking about it with Blake the other day…“

“That’s really how you want to spend the day?” you teased, “walking through Central Park and going to an art instillation?”

“Why not?”

You bit your lip as you came back with the lids for the baby food and you shrugged, “if you want to...”

“Yeah...” he smiled, “spend the day with my little buddy and two favorite girls.  I-”

“Da da.”

The two of you froze. 

Your eyes went wide, and both you and Sebastian looked at Shayla.  She was reaching out to him.

“Did she just say-”

“Da da!” she repeated, her little chubby hands trying to reach for him, “Da da!”

You gasped, rushing up to her, “oh my god...Shayla...”

“Did she just call me da da?”

“Sebastian, that was her first word!”

He seemed to process what just happened, and his own eyes went wide.  The spoon clattered to her tray and his lips parted.

“Da da!” she whimpered, straining to reach for him.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and you sniffled. He looked at you, “I -I swear I didn’t teach her that or anything.  I-”

“She called you da da...”

“(Y/N), I-”

“Pick her up, da da,” you sighed gently, your eyes meeting his.  There was a silent look between the two of you, “it-it’s okay...you’re da da to them...we both know it...don’t apologize for that.”

He nodded before turning his attention to her, a big grin on his face, “Did you just say your first word, baby girl?”

“Da da!” she whimpered, wanting him to pay attention and pick her up. 

His grin got wider as he pulled her out of her chair and spun her around.  She squealed in excitement as he peppered her face in kisses, “did you call for me, baby girl?  Did you-”

“Da da!” she squealed, her little hands grabbing at his face once more when he finally gave her the attention that she wanted, “da da.  Da Da!”

The surprise in your eyes...and the love in his when she said it.  He was so shell-shocked.  He stopped feeding her, frozen for a second, until she said it again, reaching out for him. 

You couldn’t ignore your own feelings. 

Not after that. 

And soon you’d found yourself in his bed at night. 

The room you and the twins stayed in slowly became the room for the twins, and you found yourself moving more and more of your stuff into his closet, until he finally pulled your dresser into the room. 

The Gossip Girl cast was even more supportive of it, saying that they hadn’t seen him so happy.  And things were like a dream. 

Even when you were terrified when he got a new role on the show ‘Kings,’ he never faltered.  The twins and you had passports and you shot up to Canada to do some of the filming before they found a base in New York. 

And before you knew it, you were celebrating your one-year anniversary with him, telling him you loved him while the two of you christened the newer, bigger apartment that had two bedrooms and a loft.

Chapter 7

[shitpostingkats]

Yu-Gi-Oh Review Roundup: Arc-V!

Favorite main character: Shay Obsidian

Raidraptors slap. Every era of this show has one archetype that makes the twelve year old inside my brain start cheering in adoration, and this time, it’s raidraptors. What can I say. I like birds.

Shay himself also does a whole lot to sell the coolness factor of his mechanical falcons. The blunt, to-the-point, selfassuredness he carries himself with is almost intimidatingly edgelord, but some great voice acting work by Matt Shipman keeps him on the humaner side of anime emos. (Also, if you didn’t know, Matt Shipman, also voice of Reki in SK8 the Infinity, and if you hadn’t made the connection between season one Shay and breakup arc era Reki, I’m sorry that is in your brain now.) 

His design is the wonderful kind of harmonizing amazingly well with his monsters without being overbearing. With all the old fighter plane influence of the raidraptors, it makes perfect sense for Shay to sport his trademark leather trenchcoat that comes complete with the asymmetrical zipper and wide collar of an aviator's jacket. I particularly love the red scarf being the unofficial uniform of the XYZ rebellion, and it going completely unremarked on in the story. It’s clever to see how it’s worked into everyone’s outfit without it being pointed out to the viewer; it’s like an easter egg hunt. On Shay, he wears it in mimicry of a silk flight scarf, another visual nod to WWII pilots. 

And in Shay’s case, it makes perfect sense he would need the outfit of a pilot, because asides from Yuya, he is the one who most routinely rides around on the backs of his monsters. I never get tired of Shay flying onto the scene on a 3,000 pound eagle shaped warmachine, completely nonchalantly. Why is he the only one taking advantage of having his monsters around outside of duels. Let everyone have terrifying monstrosities as their main form of transportation.

Favorite antagonist: Sora Perse

The candy munching warcrime gremlin of all time. While it’s a little weird that Arc-V out the gate started exploring the ramifications of being a card game child soldier, Sora’s arc as he grapples with it is the emotional core of season 1, and it genuinely gets pulled off pretty well. Also, he plays fluffals.

Fluffals is the pitch perfect archetype for Sora. I’ve said before how much I love in yugioh when the cards someone plays tells you more about their character, how I go off the wall when their archetype is a mirror of their personhood. Fluffals is also just great on its own. Perfect yugioh design. Cutesy cuddly monsters that are actually filled with KNIVES and SAWS like they are being dissected by a deranged weird little child. Then the double meaning of fluffals being innocent and adorable, but secretly hiding a darker side, just like Sora. He is constantly switching back and forth between frighteningly competent and “oh my god he’s just a kid”. 

On of my favorite moments in the show is when he and Zuzu reunite and she says farewell by doing the fusion summon salute, only for Sora to jokingly correct her posture. Their friendship is so wholesome okay. Deep down, this kid is genuinely hurt and doesn’t know how to make friends, so he’s reaching out with the only way he knows how, by taking the role of teacher but that's only a facade to get to hang out, and that line is where we first hear them acknowledge it to each other, grins on their faces, happy to still be teacher and student, but also, friends. 

This is in the same stretch of episodes as Sora casually stowing away on a helicopter by jumping fifteen feet into the air and grabbing the wheel well.

Favorite side character: Yugo

I guess they just put a special sauce in the Arc-V blue haired bois.

Why do I list Yugo as a side character? Surely, by virtue of being an au version of the main character, he should be counted with equal narrative status?

Nope! He shows up maybe a dozen times, usually randomly, to yell and crash his motorcycle into things. Then disappears again. I love him.

Yugo has, unlike the other two blue haired bois, this endearing puppy quality that makes every conversation he’s in feel playful and exuberant. And that lends itself well to the few dynamics he does find himself in, whether it’s bouncing off Yuri’s smirky villainy, or having genuinely a more emotionally intelligent discussion with Zuzu about what going on than Yuya ever manages to have with her in the whole series. And while I would have loved to get more time between him and Rin, it’s clear from just a few minutes with him how deeply he cares about her. Winning him the coveted medal of “#1 straight relationship in yugioh I would 100% believe in”. They’re just really sweet. And I would storm the Konami headquarters to get them the happy ending they deserved.

Favorite duel: Shay vs. Sora

They’re my favorites for a reason. 

Shay v. Sora is peak, not only for both characters, but the entire show. It’s certainly in my list of Top 5 Yugioh Duels Ever. Everything about this duel is pure character expression. Shay’s cold and unemotive dueling crashes right up against the peppy dueltaining that Sora has spent the past few weeks learning. At first, Sora doesn’t even seem to take the duel seriously, countering audience expectations that this duel is going to be important. Because we know at this point, that something is up with Sora. That he knows more than he is letting on and this Shay guy is someone who can seriously engage with him about the larger mystery, unlike everyone else who is still in the dark on the dimensional wars.

Then Sora’s slow burn of the facade melting away. All that theatricality can equally double as a dang good yugioh villain performance. The way the duel slides from using its standard duel cinematography to more of a Marik Ishtar unhinged closeup. There is more dramatic tension in the increasing ferocity that Sora chews on his lollipop with than a full fledged horror movie.

On Shay’s side of the duel, we get dramatic monologues of backstory, finally filling in our understanding of the larger plot, delivered by a seriously shaken refugee who is finally able to traumadump about what he and his friends had to live through. It’s chillingly intense, especially contrasted by Sora’s increasing villainous theatricality. While Sora cartwheels and flips around the crumbling city like an acrobat, Shay’s got a utilitarian body language as he dodges debris. He’s not here to put on a show. He is here to survive and get revenge.

And the conclusion. By gods. There’s something haunting about seeing Sora, who has up to this point been laughing and gloating, crack. Not at the thought of being hurt. But at the thought of losing. Of being second best. He screams as Shay walks away, no longer violent and dramatic, but just a broken kid, terrified of receiving a bad grade.

Gods. Good duel.

Favorite arc: Arc league championship

Shay v Sora may be the highlight, but it’s not the only banger duel from that arc. And there’s also a great variety of good duels. From character duels like Julia v. Zuzu, or plot important duels like Sora v Yuto, to just plain fun duels, like Gong v Grizzlepike. And once the finals get going, it’s basically a nonstop duel fest, cutting between a half dozen parties finding eachother and splitting off again, while some duel and others just try to sit down and figure out what on earth is going on. Which shouldn’t work, but it does. 

Listen, if battle city worked the first time, the second time, the third time, and the fourth time, it’ll be good the fifth time. Trust us. We did the math. Now go out and duel in [interesting environment] and wager [this tournament’s gimmick item] on duels until you have [arbitrary number]. 

And hey! The formula works once again! This isn’t sarcasm, I genuinely think this is a great way to make tournament arcs interesting. The citywide split of four biomes allows for some cool backdrops, and every duel being able to happen basically simultaneously means we can simply cut between whatever's most interesting at the moment, instead of having to see every duel start to finish. 

Also, Moonshadow gets introduced in this tournament, and he is the unsung mvp of the entire series.

Greatest strengths of the series: Polish

The Arc League Championship also stands out to me because I was startled by the quality of its episode-to-episode writing. Plot information is slowly revealed on a regular basis, instead of thirty episodes of Shenanigans that’s interrupted by a lore dump. There’s genuine mystery, and intrigue, as we try to figure out what is up with these mystery xyz summoners and Declan’s master plan. And it’s not just scenario writing that’s received a massive punch-up! Dialogue is flowing better than ever, and effects animation is legible and looks awesome, instead of hyper-compressed pixels. Heck, Yuya has a really good looking 3D model, and his eyes aren’t covered by a helmet, and his jacket realistically flutters with his movement!

This may not sound like that big a deal, but the very premise of Arc-V gives us such a clear point of comparison for “How It Started” versus “How It’s Going”. It warmed my little 5Ds adoring heart to see turbo duels back, and rendered in such believable and genuinely excellent modeling. (Though points off for making Jack’s duel runner drive sideways. You guys know it can’t do that.) Aside from a few minor nitpicks, almost everything that made previous shows awesome is lovingly given a fresh coat of paint, from summoning to landscapes. 

And the writing is also pretty good on the au versions of prior characters! I particularly love Actually Not Problematic Celebrity Jack Atlas, the fun writing challenge of taking a character whose story is so deeply rooted in his setting, then trying to figure out what he’d look like without those factors. Happily Married Crow Hogan. Rebellion Leader Alexis Rhodes. Genuinely Lost His Family And Turned Murderhobo About It Kite Tenjo. There’s something so fun about seeing the paths certain characters could have taken, if only their environments had been different. And it’s a far more challenging premise to convincingly pull off than I see it get credit for. On so many levels, yugioh shows, on a purely technical level, have just gotten better as time goes on, and I absolutely adore seeing what each new series manages to perfect.

Weakest points: Scope

Unfortunately, Arc-V just has a lot to juggle. The devotion to quartets means the math spins out of control. incredibly quickly. Four versions of the protagonist, four versions of the female lead, four story arcs in four separate worlds. A handful of cameo appearances for each dimension, but also two to three original characters as well, bloats the main cast to nearly three times that of any previous show. Four different types of playstyles to write, and for characters that use blends of all four, duels four times as complicated in a single turn. Let’s never forget that this is the era that gave us the infamous D/D/D spreadsheet.

Individual moments stand out as excellent, but there simply isn’t enough time for any of them to really shine. All of the characters I’ve stated as loving, Shay, Sora, Yugo, I love in spite of the fact that their stories never really go anywhere. Shay and Yugos’ primary motivations are to find and reunite with their bracelet girls. And they don’t. Sora? After a wonderful bleed from “no morals allowed” to “one moral allowed”, after struggling for almost a season and a half to rationalize his child soldier upbringing, the camera just stops looking at him. And that’s one of the most complete stories Arc-V manages to tell. Even Yuya, our protagonist, ends the series having not confronted anything about his father, or his blatant mental health issues, both things that he is literally introduced with being shockingly core to his character. Very few plotlines are resolved in a satisfying way, if they’re resolved at all.

In the end, I can’t help but feel that Arc-V wrote more ambitious checks than its writing budget could cash. 

Most yugioh moment:

The entire episode where they break out of prison by hosting a talent show. Specifically, the cheer in Yuya’s voice when he says “Good night, FACILITY! <3”

[bullet-prooflove]

Mine - Brian Zvonecek x Reader (NSFW)

Rated M for SMUT

Tagging: @justmeandanoverdrive @cosmic-psychickitty @shay-o-fiction @k-k0129 @brianbabygirlzvonecek @ikbenplant @ortega29 @crazy4chickennuggets @neapolitantoebeans @cixrosie @bradshawsdarlin @horny-and-sad27 @gummybabey @mysoulisasunflower @luckyladycreator2 @kabloswrld @persage @whoreforhondo @anime-weeb-4-life

Brian has always been secure in your relationship. He has no problem with your male friends and when he sees a guy flirting with you at the bar, he feels sorry for them because if you aren’t giving fuck off vibes, you’re telling it to their faces. There was only one thing that triggered his possessive streak, or he should say one person and that was your ex, Tommy Welch.

It was irrational but Welch had a way of getting under his skin, even before he had fallen in love with you. The other man was antagonizing and brash and he clearly still had a thing for you. When he looked at you, it felt that he was undressing you and Brian hated the fact that Welch had seen you naked, that he knew what he was missing. It flicked a switch in Brian’s brain when the other man touched you, it was always fleeting. A hand on your lower back to guide you out of someone else’s way, his fingertips on your arm when he wanted your attention, the way his smile turned up a thousand watts when he saw you.

“She’s yours for now, but you’ll never keep her.”

He remembered those words from Welch the last time they were on shift together. It had taken every single ounce of his self-restraint to not punch the other guy out. He didn’t understand how Welch had landed a girl like you in the first place. If it had been a casual fuck, he probably would have understood it, but it had been a year, a whole fucking year you had been tied to that man. Brian simply did not understand how you put up with him.

Tonight, Welch was in full form. He’d been hovering around your table all night, before he ‘ran into you’ on your way back from the bathroom. Brian hated seeing Welch in your proximity, hated the way his body overshadowed you. He knew what was going to happen before you did, and it sent a pulse of rage ricocheting through him.

He was prepared for the kiss, but he wasn’t prepared for the slap, and neither was Welch. He clasped his hand to his cheek, his expression wounded as you slipped past him and through the door to the ‘staff only’ area.

Brian threw down the towel he’d been using to clean the glasses with, and followed you through the door. You turned when you heard it close behind you. The adrenaline of the event still chasing through your system, charging like electricity in your veins. When you turned to face him, the look in his eyes was wild and dangerous. There was a recklessness inside of him, and you wanted it, you wanted him to claim you, to remind you of what it felt like to be possessed by him.  

“You have no idea what it does to me, to see him touch you like that.” He said roughly, his voice flush with desire, the fingertips on his left-hand twitching.

“Oh Brian.” Your murmured, your fingers already on his belt. “I think I do.”

His hands came to rest on yours, stopping you from moving any further.

“Turn around.” He commanded; his voice rough. “I want to get my hands on that ass.”

The sound of his voice, the rawness of it, made you soaked. You obeyed him, turning around so your palms came to rest upon the surface of the metal preparation table. He pressed the length of himself up against you, his chest firm and solid, his hips pinning yours against the table. He buried his face into the curve of your throat, inhaling deeply.

“You smell so fucking good.” He told you, his fingertips popped the button on your jeans before he tugged the fabric down over your ass. His palm slid over your panties, fingertips seeking out your clit through the cotton. “So wet already. Is that all for me?”

“I’ve been thinking about you all night.” You told him, your hand reaching back to touch him. Brian grasped your wrist and placed your palm back down on the table as he tutted.

“Hands back down on the table, sunshine.”

His fingertips hooked your underwear before he dragged that fabric down your thighs. His palm slid down to your ass, roving over it and squeezing it once before he spanked it. You moaned as his hand ran over it again, thumb tracing the pink flush.

“The belongs to me.” He told you as he undid his belt, before undoing the button on his jeans. “Your ass, your pussy, every single part of you is mine.”

You felt the press of his bare skin against yours. His hand came to grip your shoulder, his thumb chasing up the nape of your neck and sending a thousand stars shooting through your synapses. The head of his cock rubbed over your slick folds, tracing over your needy core.

“Do you need this, sunshine?” He asked you, his voice gravelly with want. “Do you need me to remind you belong to?”

“Please Brian, just give it to me.” You whined, arching your hips in an attempt to fuck yourself on his dick. He tutted again, this time using the pressure of hand on the back of your neck to force you down until your chest was pressed against the metal table. He used his boot to gently urge your ankles even further apart.

“You’re dripping for me.” He muttered. “You know how good you look spread out like this, anyone could come in and see this beautiful pussy but I’m the only one that gets to fuck it aren’t I?”

“The only one.” You whimpered. “The only one that gets to touch me.”

“That’s right sunshine.” He said as he entered you slowly. “I’m the only one.”

He made sure you felt him, sinking into you inch by inch, filling you. He held you in place before he drew back and started all over again. It was heaven, fucking heaven, the rake of his cock over your inner walls, his weight pressing you down as he began to pick up the pace. You loved this feral, dominant side of him, the way he fucked you with abandonment. It was sensual in its own way, a savage sort of intimacy that sated the wild and reckless parts of you, he was the only man that had been able to do that, to mix tenderness and roughness. To give you what you needed.

“You’ve ruined me, Brian.” You told him between punctuated gasps. “Wrecked me for anyone else. There’s no one else that has ever fucked me like this, whose ever made me feel the way you do.”

“I want him to hear you.” Brian said as he thrust into you, hitting that deviant spot deep inside, the one that made you lose your fucking mind. His fingers threaded through your hair, tugging it at the roots, sending an explosion of fireworks ricocheting through your synapses as he pulled you back against him. His lips ghosted over your ear as his fingertips traced over your clit. “Don’t hold back sunshine, he needs to know your mine.”

“Fuck Brian.” You whimpered as that heat rushed through your nerve endings like tiny starbursts. “I want him to know how good you fuck me.”

Brian buried his face into the curve of your shoulder, biting down on the sensitive flesh, marking you as his own. The pleasure and the pain intermingled sending you hurtling over the edge with his name on your lips, a riptide of ecstasy overwhelming your senses and dragging you under. You clenched around his cock like a velvet fist, gripping him so tightly he cried out as came with you, spurting deep inside. He held you against him in the aftermath, his arm supporting you around the waist as he whispered into your ear one word.

“Mine.”

Love Brian? Get added to his tag list!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[kazylgon]

Today i finished running an adventure for some friends in the Heart: The City Beneath roleplaying game, which was an absolute wild ride from start to finish.

First of all, the system fucking SLAPS, and if you like lightweight systems which still enable honestly a lot of tension, your character suffering a LOT like seriously your little guy is going to have such a bad time, tragedy, horror, and tragic horror you should give it a go.

But Oh Boy, the shenanigans which were got up to. Extended summary below but this barely scratches the surface of everything that happened and the context for it all so if you're curious or what to know more about the system or setting send and ask or message me because I'd love to provide more context.

Our cast consists of Horizon, a mage, addicted to magic, microdosing on corruption, desperately trying to find a cure for the affliction of feebleness plaguing their entire race. Shay, a walking corpse who came back wrong, with the whispers of their possibly dead girlfriend in their brain urging them to delve greedier and deeper. And Zaktan, a surgeon made of wasps, seeking to impose perfect order on the world.

They travelled deep beneath the ground, all seeking some elusive, vague font of power, capable of granting whoever finds it whatever their soul desires, called The Heart.

The very first settlement they came across quickly disappeared, drowned by waterlogged corpses spewing salt water from their mouths. Horizon accidentally opened their soul up to the master of these creatures with a particularly unlucky roll, and left them retching up salt water for a brief moment before everyone could escape to the Temple of the Moon.

Here they meet the high priestess Airelle, who apparently can't die, because she's the moon's favourite. She tells them that the walking corpses are vassals of the Drowned Queen, a deep god of everything beneath the water, including drowned corpses. She tells them that if they fetch a collection of runes from deeper down, she can perform a ritual to banish the queen and save all the nearby settlements that she's trying to drown. She'll offer a reward, of course, but Zaktan doesn't trust her one bit, and refuses her offer to he can break into her room to snoop around instead.

The first step on this quest is to sneak through a junkyard filled with cultists obsessed with death. Here they find a beast of metal and Heartflesh. Shay frees it, as the voice in their head encouraged them to do, devours some of its flesh, and in its gratitude it devours some of the cultists in their way.

The next destination is an ancient train station with vibrating crystals hanging from the ceiling, threatening to fall if any loud noise shakes them free. Here Zaktan becomes fascinated with the wreck of a magical train, being studied by Knights of the Rail, Horizon seeks treatment from the knight's surgeon (nasty little goblin who thinks Horizon's entire race are a lost cause because of the curse of feebleness they bear), and Shay immediately sets about collapsing the ceiling of the place to break the floor and open a tunnel deeper. This frees an angel of convulsing, raw flesh and sinew which proceeds to destroy the entire station, forcing the group to flee.

The group accepts Shay's actions after they calmly explain themselves.

Just kidding Zaktan slices Shay's face off. Shay doesn't care in the slightest because they brought the love of the Heart to the station and everyone in it.

From here it's a straight shot down to the sanctum of the mages keeping the protective runes.

Just kidding again. The Drowned Queen has taken up residence here. In person. All ten feet of her perfect, pristine, divine body, clad in jellyfish and kelp. The whole area is flooded, but Horizon, having opened up their soul to her (accidentally, but she's so lonely she doesn't realise that) and so sweet talks into letting them explore the tower. They find a vault at the base, with the runes inside, along with a victim of the mage's experiments: a person having been infused with the magic of the Heart and turned into a strange, warped creature of warping flesh. Shay free it, it attacks Horizon, and Zaktan does literally nothing to help until Horizon misses a spell to defend themselves and accidentally hits Zaktan, exposing the fact that Horizon is capable of drawing on the Drowned Queen's power.

This doesn't go down well with Zaktan, who has been shaken by an unlucky roll and is now deeply terrified of the queen, despite his disdain for all things godly. He insists on Horizon telling him exactly what is going on, and the two do so, over a completely amicable exchange of notes which doesn't result in any more faces being sliced off.

They all rest here, and Horizon is unnerved by the Queen watching them with a burning intensity the entire time.

On the way back up, with the runes in hand, they encounter a Knight of the Rail, the only survivor of what Shay did to the station. The knight attempts to bombard with with his cannon, but Shay practically skips up to him, and shoves him into the netherworld with naught but a boop on the nose.

Getting back through the station isn't as easy, as the angel has transformed into a massive tree of meat and pulsing veins, supporting the ceiling while its roots writhe across the floor seeking flesh to devour. Shay doesn't care and just walks through, the tendrils seemingly ignoring them. Zaktan and Horizon are less lucky, and Zaktan loses his notebook, his most prized possession, becoming convinced that Horizon stole it when exchanging notes. Horizon would have made it through fine, if they weren't distracted by the desire to collect a sample, which leads them stranded, surrounded, blood from the weird angel flesh tree right in their eyes, and needing to be rescued by Shay.

Back through the junkyard, they confront the bishop leading the death cult. He reveals that he and Airelle came here together, before she betrayed and abandoned him. Shay then suplexes him off of the raised platform of his throne, Zaktan injects him with a sample of a horrid virus, and Horizon calls upon the power of the queen once more to drown him.

This clears the final obstacle back to the temple where they can begin the ritual to banish the queen. Zaktan refuses to give up the runes unless he is the one to perform the ritual however, even though it draws on the power of the moon goddess. He's convinced he knows her better than one of her high priestesses, and he's convinced said high priestess is keeping something from him. Shay mans the barricades to keep the queen and her vassals out when she inevitably attacks, and Horizon...is conflicted.

The queen does indeed attack. Her form has changed. She now resembles a drowned corpse clad in a rotting, waterlogged gown, hollow eye sockets filled with nothing but worms and small crustaceans picking at the flesh, suspended in the air by a fleshy tendril connected to some massive creature concealed in the tunnel behind her. She blows past Shay, angered that this group promised to spread her influence only to turn on her, slaughtering everything in her wake. Until Horizon rolls ridiculously well on a roll to distract her, approaches her, kisses her...giving just enough time to Zaktan to finish the ritual to banish her.

She looks at Horizon, not angry. Just sad, and betrayed. She could have given them everything, she says, moments before being yanked back down into the deep.

The group were heroes. The people living in and around the temple celebrate.

Zaktan however, heads upstairs to Airelle's room and murders her, searching for the secrets she was keeping. He doesn't get much though, not even a scream or a struggle, just a cryptic message that "She's really not going to like that, you know."

And that ends the pre-written adventure that all of this came from. Next few sessions are going to be off the edge of the map and I am so disgustingly excited as to what horrors this lot are going to get themselves into next.

[teecupangel]

Desmond but a megalodon

Do what you must

Ngl, nonny, when I read this, my mind went immediately to Jason Statham’s movie The Meg so my brain went “Desmond versus Jason Statham???” before I remembered that Desmond wouldn’t be a dick like the megalodon in The Meg.

For those unfamiliar with megalodons, here are some approximation of its supposed scale from its wiki page:

So, let’s talk about how this would work.

Now, the easiest way to kick him into being a megalodon is around the games with naval combat so AC3, Black Flag, and Rogue specifically.

Odyssey is also a viable setting since the Adrestia did sail all around Ancient Greece.

We can make an argument for Origin but that might limit him to Aya’s naval combat section unless we set this after the main storyline and Bayek travels further to start building the foundations of a Brotherhood in other places.

Valhalla’s section would be enclosed during the travels between Norway and England although I like the idea that Eivor saw him when she was traveling to Vinland, like Desmond was staying close by to Ratonhnhaké:ton’s people (and the Grand Temple).

Now, for the main naval combat AC games, Desmond could be like a great shadow they would sometimes see during their travels with Ratonhnhaké:ton seeing him the most while Shay sees him the least.

Ratonhnhaké:ton could even hear from Haytham how there is a legend about the great shadows of the sea. How it supposedly follows Assassins to guide them. From the soft almost pained way Haytham spoke, Ratonhnhaké:ton realized that he had heard of the tale from his father.

And Edward liked to tell Haytham about it when he was a boy, about how the legends of a great large shark were one of the most sought-after bounty during his time, how he had been cocky enough to think he could hunt it down, only for it to appear during the times when the Jackdaw was in dire situations, almost as if it was assisting him even after Edward had tried to take it down more than once before.

Ratonhnhaké:ton doesn’t say anything but something inside him knew that the sea guardian was there for him. That he was there to help and he certainly did during the more dangerous missions he took with his ships, always there to ram or straight up headbutt an enemy ship from underneath them.

Mister Faulkner cautioned him to be careful for it was a beast.

But Ratonhnhaké:ton knew…

It was more than a beast.

No.

He was more than a beast.

Other possible ‘sightings’:

Altaïr: While it would be funny if Desmond straight up just gobbled Sibrand during the whole mission in the Acre docks (giving a big fuck you to one of the most annoying Assassination missions in the game in my experience because water), his current size would make that a bit hard to do. He would have a better chance ‘interacting’ with Altaïr during his travels to Cyprus in Bloodlines or when he was trying to find Adha in Chronicles. Also… Altaïr did travel a lot and we didn’t get a full confirmation where he had traveled to (one of his destination had been Constantinople though) so Desmond could have made contact with him during one of those times he was traveling by ship.

Ezio: He did use a ship to travel from Forli to Venice so it’s possible he’d had a chance encounter then but it might be better if it was during the times Ezio traveled to Spain (for Discovery and the final memories of Brotherhood) since he would have probably taken a ship to get to Spain but it would be dramatic if his first sighting of Desmond was during the heavy wave sequence of Revelation’s intro movie while he was traveling to Masyaf. Also sorta symbolic since he’s going to a place that held a connection to Desmond as well (and he meets Desmond during the time when his parts in the calculations were coming to an end)

Arno and the Frye twins: Look, Desmond’s size as a megalodon would make it hard for him to swim in the Thames (which is full of ships in Syndicate) or in Seine but if we’re going by Sharnado rules, go for it XD

[thegayestcat]

I don't think I posted this doodle of my Lone Wanderer Cheyenne, so here ya go, plus a new doodle of her and Sarah (unfortunately clothing is still often one size fits all which it does not)

And yea colors are funky in the first, my old tablet wasn't very color calibrated, not that my new one is either but it's better

Anyways if you wanna know some info on her read below~

Full name: Cheyenne Amenaghawon (an Edo/West African name meaning "the water you shall drink")

Nickname: Chey (pronounced like 'shay')(yes I know it would be pronounced more like 'shy' but my brain said ✨no that's not how we're saying it✨)

Age: 19

Pronouns: She/her

Catherine was Nigerian and James is west Asian - they took on Catherine's last name after she died (plus it's just so fitting with aqua pura n stuff)

Lesbian, dated Amata until Trouble on the Homefront quest when Amata decides to stay in the Vault.

Struggles with being raised Christian (or whatever Christianity in a vault in the year 2277 is) for quite a few reasons (mainly sexuality wise)

Ohno she's quoting the Bible at someone again help (either confuses people or pisses them off, can def be mistaken as a follower of atom if she mentions Adam)

Wears a locket with 21:6 engraved on it and the verse inside it

Whether it's from lack of UV exposure or genetics, her hair photo-bleaches easily, but since her hair is black it turns brassy and with more orange undertones

A bit of a resting bitch face and if not a resting bitch face then a resting sad face

Sometimes too helpful/good natured for her own good

Not very agile, cue America's funniest home videos music to clips of her tripping and falling or dropping stuff

Did her best to learn about the pre-war world and it's history - expand her knowledge and stuff... whether or not it's helpful in the wasteland is 50/50 but the Brotherhood appreciates it.

Lockpick 100 - dad thought he could lock up the liquor lol too bad when you're in a vault you need something to do including snoop around

Very mad at James for leaving her behind, it's not a totally happy reunion - more like a 'wtf is wrong with you how could you do this' reunion.

After Trouble on the Homefront when Butch joins her, they sleep together for stress relief and Chey vows to never see a dick again and Butch comes out to her as bisexual (not that the sex was bad, just further confirmed her lesbianism)

When you're so gay for a woman you join the Brotherhood but it's fine because it's the Lyons Pride (eventually becomes a paladin)

Immediately insanely gay for Sarah Lyons when she sees her in that power armor and laser rifle (like 🥵)

Hates wearing power armor, finds it too restricting and tight. The struggle of being plus size did not end in the vault unfortunately.

Maxson doesn't like her especially when he starts to get a little older and realizes what's going on with Chey and Sarah, then he really fucking hates her and disagrees with everything she says just to spite her bc he still has a childish crush on Sarah

If they ever meet in the Commonwealth - she's fucking decking Maxson in her power armor that she refuses to wear

OKAY I THINK THATS ALL MY SILLY NOTES

[thethistlegirlwrites]

1. What’s your oc’s most irrational fear? Is there a specific reason this fear came about?

3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?

7. What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?

10. Who’s the first person your oc goes to to talk about something that made them happy? Sad? Angry?

18. How does your oc see themself? How does this compare to the way other ocs see them?

21. What’s a fact you haven’t shared about this oc?

28. What’s your favorite thing about this oc?

For all of your OCs

This is from AGES ago, but I just found it while answering your other ask so you may have asked this for one crew but you're getting it for the Compass squad and associated OCs now...somehow I don't think you'll be too upset about that ;)

What’s your oc’s most irrational fear? Is there a specific reason this fear came about? Sierra - Sierra wouldn't admit it to anyone but she's incredibly scared that zombies will turn out to be as real as vampires. She can handle the undead feeding on her blood, but she draws the line at brains. Pete - Pete has a fear of elevators. He wasn't around anything like that as a kid but the cage ones that went down into the mines, and when his class went in one on a field trip it was so noisy and swayed so much and the mesh cage sides didn't feel safe enough. Shay - Since he became a vampire, Shay has had a recurring nightmare of bringing in ants with his home earth and them crawling into his ears while he sleeps. Honestly, he'll take it, it's the least disturbing nightmare he has. Saanvi - Ever since she put her foot into a shoe as a small child, only to find a frog inside it, Saanvi can't stand the texture of them. She's okay seeing them from a distance or in pictures, but she just can't touch them or anything else slimy like that. Wren - Wren spent her whole childhood afraid that she was going to grow a bird's beak to match the latent feathering in her shoulder blades. It never happened, and her parents reassured her that wasn't part of her air fae gifting, but once in a while she still thinks of it when she wakes up. Joey - Honestly, Joey's 'irrational' fear is that she'll hurt her family even after she's under mentorship in Chimera's program, and that takes her a long time to get over. But the one her siblings tease her about is the time a lizard fell off the wall, landed on her face, and she screamed and woke up the whole house then refused to sleep without a laundry basket over her head for the next week. Nico - Nico is afraid of dogs. He was never bitten, he just doesn't like them barking at him, ever since he was a kid. After he turned, he liked them even less, because a lot of dogs don't like vampires. He tends to avoid them as much as possible.

What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?  Sierra - Sierra has a Texas accent that gets stronger when she's under stress or in pain, and she has been known to switch into Spanglish when she gets highly emotional, but that's pretty rare. Pete - Pete's Tennessee accent is still strong after several years on the west coast. He'll intentionally make it sound a little stronger if he wants people to look at him like a dumb hick if that helps him get the information he needs. Shay - Shay's voice is normally deep and a little rough, but he has a higher singing register than his speaking voice would imply, and the fangs he's still getting used to give him a slight lisp. Saanvi - Saanvi has a pretty pronounced Indian accent, and part of her role in Chimera's forensic accounting team is getting information by posing as a customer service rep or call center operator because of people's assumptions based on her accent. Wren - Wren's voice is whatever she needs it to be. She's an accomplished vocal mimic, a fae gift that's somewhat rarer than physical glamours. Her natural voice changes to match her area like a chameleon, so she often has an LA sound. Joey - Joey has a Venezuelan accent she worked hard to squash when she was trying to blend in in LA, so it's not as strong as a first generation immigrant would generally have, but it's still clearly noticeable in her voice. Nico - Nico has a very strong New York, specifically Bronx, accent that he hasn't shaken in the least even after moving to LA. It's sort of a trademark of his now, and he likes that people know exactly who they're talking to when they get him on the phone.

What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?  Sierra - Highway Star by Deep Purple (yes, her uncle John got her hooked on classic rock) Pete - Country Roads by John Denver (he's a folk music guy so yes) Shay - The Unforgiven II by Metallica (Yes, Shay seems like he'd enjoy the raw emotion of Metallica) Saanvi - Drag Me To The Grave by Black Veil Brides (not really, she tends to listen to softer sounding music) Wren - Kids in America by Kim Wilde (Wren's taste is so eclectic it probably works) Joey - True Colors by Cyndi Lauper (Haven't quite decided on her music taste yet but it seems a little too sappy and old school for her) Nico - If You Only Knew by Shinedown (I can see him listening to an instrumental cover of it)

Who’s the first person your oc goes to to talk about something that made them happy? Sad? Angry?  Sierra - Sierra's not much for talking. She'd rather punch something if she's mad or sad, so she usually finds Shay for a sparring session. And if she's happy, she probably finds him for big spinning hug. Pete - Pete tends to talk to Sierra about things even if she's spacing out and not listening to him in the car on a stakeout or similar. He uses it as sort of 'rubber duck debugging'. Shay - Shay isn't used to having people he can talk to about any of it, but after Sierra keeps showing up when she needs the decompression, he starts doing the same with her. Saanvi - Saanvi calls home. No matter the time, her hunter parents will always answer their phones, and she appreciates their advice and insight into any situations she feels unprepared to handle. Wren - Wren doesn't tell many people about any aspect of her life. She tends to sort things out on her own and cope by spending time in nature or journaling. Joey - Joey used to talk to her aunt about most things, although she kept a lot of secrets to avoid either worrying her aunt or making her complicit in Joey's less than legal ways of making money if Joey was ever caught. Now, as Nico's mentee, she usually goes to him because vampire emotions are a whole new case. Nico - Nico tends to withdraw when he's upset, and if he's happy, he calls Ricky. Even if all he gets is a voicemail, he wants to tell his kid the good news, and hopes that someday, Ricky will want to reciprocate.

How does your oc see themself? How does this compare to the way other ocs see them?  Sierra - Sierra sees herself as someone who has messed up in a big way and is clawing herself back from that, even as a lot of her fellow hunters think of her as a hero for her actions. Pete - Pete sees himself as the background support of his team, and while that's a pretty accurate picture of his job, his coworkers know he's a lot more than just the numbers guy. Shay - Shay sees himself as a monster at first, then as someone sort of on probation. He doesn't really trust himself, and most people don't trust him either. They see the criminal records and the murder charges even though they were overturned. His closest friends know the truth, and that's usually enough for him. Saanvi - Saanvi sees herself as continuing the family legacy. Her family sees the same thing in her, as she's been trained from a young age to be a hunter like her parents. Around Chimera she's more often seen as an accounting genius, but has proven herself more than capable in a fight. Wren - Wren sees herself as a survivor. While she's none too forthcoming with the details of her past, it wasn't an easy one. Other people tend to see her as a wild card, and as someone they know better than to get on the bad side of. Joey - Joey sees herself as first and foremost the protector of her family, even if from herself. Ever since her mother's death, her entire identity has been wrapped up in caring for her brother and sister. The people around her can also see that, and respect her for the level of dedication she has to that role. Nico - Nico sees himself as someone trying to make some sense out of an un-life he didn't ask for. He feels guilty about what happened when he first turned and is trying to make up for that. Most of the people around him think he's doing a lot of good, but don't see the pain motivating that.

What’s a fact you haven’t shared about this oc?  Sierra - Sierra enjoys line dancing and used to have a lot of fun going to the local bars in Amarillo that had dance floors. She drags her team to the ones she finds in LA sometimes and has pretty much forced Shay to learn to dance with her. Pete - Pete learned to carve wood from his great-grandfather, and still has the horn-handled knife he inherited. Shay - Shay liked to sing before he turned. He's still getting used to how his voice sounds with fangs, but he's started to again. Saanvi - Saanvi travels home to see her family every year. She can't always make it at the same times, but she tries to get there near her birthday and Diwali. Wren - Wren, despite appearing to be in her early thirties, is actually about two hundred years old and spent most of that life as a hustler, singer, and dancer. Chimera is her first genuinely on the books and fully legal job. Joey - Joey kept her bite scar covered with a braided bracelet before her turn. She made matching ones for her and her siblings, and always told them the three strands were the three of them, stronger together. Nico - Nico damaged his knee when he was twenty-seven in a hunt, and has a slight limp that followed him into his turn. It doesn't affect him too often, but it does slow him down sometimes or ache when he works in buildings with concrete or other hard floors.

What’s your favorite thing about this oc?  Sierra - She's an absolute mess and I love that about her. She's done some really terrible stuff and she's doing her best to make up for it but she's clumsy and rough about it. I love that she's trying but is bad at it (Might also be projecting onto her a lot). Pete - I love how 'normal guy' Pete is, stuck in between Sierra and Shay and trying to keep them from killing each other before they will be rational adults and talk about things. Don't envy his job, but love him. Shay - I love the angstiness of his whole arc. He thought things were over, and then got an un-life he didn't really want, and his attempt to get that over with went spectacularly wrong, then kind of right in the end. He's just trying to cope with the hand he's been dealt and has gotten almost as messed up as Sierra in the process. He's literally just along for the ride for most of the story and most of his life in general. Saanvi - I'm really fond of writing Saanvi because she's so quiet and reserved that you'd expect her to be an easy target, and then she just turns around and does something like stab a vampire with a hundred year old punch dagger (a killing blow, too). Wren - Wren's 'malicious compliance' approach to following the rules is going to be really fun to play with. I haven't written her much yet but I love the idea of playing with a character who follows the rules in ways that STILL make her mischievous. Joey - I love Joey because she's so DIFFERENT from most of the characters I write. She wants something, badly, and that something is her family. I tend to write my female characters as the more emotionally closed off (again, projecting), so someone as open and vulnerable as Joey was new territory. She's a departure from my norm, and that's been fantastic to explore. Nico - I love Nico because he's trying so hard to be there for everyone else when his own life is falling apart. He can fix things for other people but he can't fix the mess his own family became when he turned. He and Joey are both more openly emotional than a lot of the characters I write (might have something to do with my finally chipping away at some of what created a few of my hard walls while creating these two).

[creative-anchorage]

As a digital migrant rather than a native, I remember how amazing it felt to stumble my way around the internet in the 90s and early 00s, uncovering its unexpected nooks and crannies with astonishment and delight; it was an exciting and genuinely joyful time. Now I watch other people shout at each other, assailed by news of catastrophes and bombarded with adverts for horrible trousers and cryptocurrency for the further enrichment of billionaires. I scroll, jaded, trying to recapture that sense of wonder I used to feel. Thankfully, there are still off-the-beaten-path pockets of astonishment out there and I thought it might be nice to gather some of them together. So, here is a selection of online things I love, and that other people I asked love – old and new stuff that is fascinating, beautiful, edifying and, above all, fun. Maybe one or two of them might give you a bit of internet joy back, too.

Dogs in Elk

Do me a favour: Google “dogs in elk”. Perhaps one day this post on a long-defunct forum will vanish into the ether, or perhaps it’s sufficiently beloved to survive, but either way you need this hilarious shaggy (bloody) dog story in your life. It was written by Anne, whose dogs discovered an elk carcass, got inside it and refused to leave. Anne and I once exchanged emails, so I can assure you that she exists and that this really happened.

The Fish Doorbell

There is a dam in the Netherlands where migrating fish get stuck, since it rarely opens in spring. The solution: an underwater camera linked to a website where viewers can press a button when they spot fish. That notifies the lock operator, who can open it up and let the fish go on their way. Ooh, I have just seen two! Press the button!

@crescentshay

Shay Rose is an effervescent and endlessly inventive costume-maker who shares her projects on Instagram. Nothing is too bonkers for her: a “social distancing” dress that enveloped her in a 3.7 metre (12ft) circle of pink tulle, anime cosplay or a fancy-dress costume that turned her into a perfect lifesize version of one of those stocking-filler wiggly worms on a string.

Strange Flowers

In his Wordpress cabinet of human curiosities, the Australian academic James Conway writes potted biographies of daring, transgressive, dangerous-to-know eccentrics of the past 200 years. Choose at random and you are unlikely to be disappointed, but how about Violette Murat, the fin de siècle lesbian who kept a decommissioned submarine in which to smoke opium, or Marchesa Casati, who, naked beneath her fur coat, wore a necklace of live snakes and paraded a cheetah on a lead?

Radiooooo

Pick a country from the world map, pick a decade and Radiooooo plays you music from that time and place (refined to slow, fast or “weird”, if you want to be more specific). I am writing this to a soundtrack of 1960s Morocco and feeling more cosmopolitan than I have any right to: “Oh, you’re not familiar with Abdelwahab Agoumi? You should check him out.” More seriously, Radiooooo gives you that expansive feeling that the world is vast, various and infinitely creative. That’s nice.

Crime Pays, But Botany Doesn’t

This YouTube channel describes itself as “a low-brow, crass approach to plant ecology & evolution as muttered by a misanthropic Chicago Italian”. A gruff botanist called Tony tells you about esoteric plants, and it is exceptionally soothing.

Kottke

Sifting through the internet to provide a miscellany of interesting stuff is a real talent; Jason Kottke’s magpie eye has been reliably curating interesting stuff – short, long, funny, serious, totally out-there – since 1998. Recent highlights include the best visual illusions of the year competition, Japan’s decorated manhole covers and stunning photos of the Milky Way.

Weird Medieval Guys

Check out the titles of some of these Substack posts by the historian Olivia Swarthout and tell me you don’t want to read more: “What does a biblically accurate angel look like?”; “No, the king doesn’t own all the swans in Britain”; “Do you have less free time than a medieval peasant?” Clickbait, but medieval (and highly informative).

Mimi Smartypants

The consistently hilarious Chicago-based medical publisher Mimi Smartypants has been blogging since the internet was just fields of billowing unspoilt html and her riffs on whatever amuses or outrages her – public transport encounters and the general absurdity of life – are endlessly delightful. Her newest entry describing the deficiencies of linen sheets made me laugh out loud (“Would you like to take a nap on Nan Pierce?”).

Sandwiches of History

An American man called Barry delves into old recipe books and then taste-tests the sandwiches he finds in them on YouTube. They are usually an affront to God and man (ironed bread and mushroom soup, condensed milk, flour, egg and vinegar) but Barry gives each one a fair go and a generous assessment. We should all be more Barry.

Closer to Van Eyck

This incredible site is dedicated to Jan van Eyck’s much-stolen Ghent Altarpiece, featuring the 15th-century Flemish master’s deeply weird Adoration of the Mystic Lamb. Zoom in on every brushstroke and piece of craquelure, check out the X-ray and infrared imaging, delve deep into the strange history and iconography and pretend you are one of the posh experts on Fake or Fortune … hours of fun.

My80stv

Whatever year you are nostalgic for, scratch the itch here with a compendium of TV clips that you can channel-hop through as if you were watching telly in, say, 1989. It is very US-centric, but it gives me the time-travel feeling I crave. Other decade versions are also available.

David Rumsey’s Map Collection

Cartography enthusiast David Rumsey has put his entire collection of more than 150,000 maps online, from 16th to 21st century, terrestrial, maritime and celestial. It is the perfect place to get lost (sorry).

Found in a Library Book

The Oakland public library uploads the things people leave behind in library books (usually as bookmarks) to its website: it is a gripping, often touching collection of photos, drawings, sugar packets, letters, shopping lists and more.

Marine Traffic

There are a mind-boggling number of ships in the world and on this site you can watch them going about their business. They are colour-coded by type (cargo vessels, tankers, fishing boats) and you can find out where they have come from and where they are going.

Laura Ramoso

There is a lot of so-so observational comedy on the internet but Laura Ramoso’s Instagram and TikTok imitations of her German mother and Italian father have the ring of extremely funny truth.

The National Grid Live

Hear me out: this site lets you see how much power is being generated from different sources – watch as solar rises on a sunny day – and how much Great Britain is importing and exporting. It is weirdly compelling.

Tradle

Guess a place based on its exports: you get six chances, narrowing it down, thanks to information on how far off each wrong guess was. Warning: they are not all countries despite the game description: 77.3% “processed crustaceans” and 0.4% compasses is Saint Pierre et Miquelon, one of France’s semi-autonomous “overseas collectivities”. Nerdy but entertaining.

Forvo

A guide to pronouncing anything, including proper nouns and names in any language, Forvo has the power to save you significant embarrassment.

Lightning Maps

Follow storms erupting in real time. Yellow dots represent lightning strikes, and a white expanding circle shows the thunder sound movement. This is good for impressing kids, says a friend, because, like an omniscient weather god, you can “predict” when thunder is about to erupt.

Useless Farm

Karen the murderous emu, Brad, a furious fluffball cockerel, and several dopey alpacas live on this Canadian smallholding absolutely failing to earn their keep, other than on TikTok and Instagram. This kind of stuff can swiftly become annoying or samey, but useless animal wrangler Amanda has funny bones, and pretty much everything she posts is entertaining.

Messy Nessy Chic

I have no idea how Vanessa Grall comes up with the cabinet of art, design, fashion and historical wonders that have filled her website for the past 12 years; I just know she has better taste than I ever will. Dip in for the likes of a guide to Swedish islands, intimate Victorian portraiture by a viscountess or 1920s matchboxes.

Ridella

For Wordle addicts hungry for more once-daily stimulation, this site offers a riddle – the kind of thing a troll would make you solve to cross a bridge – one line at a time.

@dusttodigital

This Instagram music account is a celebration of the human desire to make sound in all its lovely diversity, from virtuoso to amateur and everything in between. I especially love the posts that showcase videos people send in of music they have encountered across the world, in the streets, in classrooms, rehearsal halls, fields …

Global Wind and Wave Patterns

You don’t have to have a clue what is going on to enjoy this site that lets you watch mesmerising animations of wind, wave and current patterns wherever you like on the globe.

The Worst Cat

This is a single-joke site – the joke being criticising baby hippos for being moist, ugly, frequently straw-covered cats – and has not been updated for years, but returning to it, I still laughed, again and again. It might work for you, too.

My Noise

My Noise feels like a gift to a fractious world: your choice of hundreds of customisable soundscapes, based on your needs (focus, sleep, stress, “pet comfort” and many more). There is an incredible variety – everything from “calm office”, to “European primeval forest” – and you can play around and mix your own blend based on whatever elements work best for you. My husband has found “rice field” with extra cicadas provides real relief from his tinnitus.

The Marginalian

The site formerly known as Brainpickings is a compendium of philosophy, poetry, visual arts, literature and other mediations on the business of being alive, collated by the author Maria Popova. Recently, I enjoyed 19th-century naturalist Jean-Baptiste Vérany’s chromographs of octopuses and Magritte’s exhortation to celebrate “joy for the eyes and the mind”.

One Zoom

Pick an animal, plant, or other living organism and, via this site, explore visually how it fits into the tree of life. Mesmerising.

Listen to the Clouds

On this dreamily weird site you can listen to live air traffic control chatter from a variety of airports across the world, against a background of ambient sound.

Library of Congress

The US Library of Congress has digitised big chunks of its collection – incredible photographs and early daguerrotypes, baseball cards, cartoons, maps and historical documents. It is overwhelming, but brilliant for a lunchtime browse.

How Many People Are in Space Right Now?

This site does exactly what it says on the tin (with details of who they are and a link to their Wikipedia page).

GeoGuessr

This quiz gives you a picture of somewhere and you have to put it on a map accurately. For an additional layer of complexity, try TimeGuessr, which asks you to identify the correct year as well as place for a photograph. I have just narrowed down a pic of an Edinburgh festival street performer to within 163 metres, but my guess of 2013 was four years out. Curses! Play again.

Martin Critchlow

The TikTok adventures of a scaffolder from King’s Lynn and his tiny mouse, Mr Jingles (the successor to Mrs Jingles, sadly deceased of natural causes). Mr Jingles really likes prawn crackers; Mr Critchlow really likes tiny harvest mice, I guess. Wholesome.

Explore webcams

There are an overwhelming number of wonderful wildlife cams out there but, for a sure bet, head to the “featured” camera on the Explore homepage. I just got bald eagles feeding their chicks, which proved very unhelpful for finishing this article.

The Lucyverse

I am torn about including writer Lucy Sweet’s brilliant newsletter because I’m sure she will end up getting my job, but I can’t in all conscience leave it out. Sweet reviews stuff: herbal teas, B&Q, Soreen mini loaves, Christmas decorations she finds in Home Bargains. The magic is in her forensically accurate skewerings. A taster: “Ugh, the Toast catalogue … Like a Guardian article on the dangers of foraging.” If you sign up, the newsletter arrives every Monday morning precisely when you most need a laugh.

If the Moon Were Only 1 Pixel

Space is terrifying – my tiny medieval peasant mind can’t begin to comprehend its vastness. This site, which describes itself as “a tediously accurate scale model of the solar system” is such a good way to understand the vastness, through scrolling – something I am very good at – with manageable little nuggets of info along the way.

Mondo Mascots

Japan’s mascot culture is a repository of intense oddness, and the British writer and illustrator Chris Carlier gives an enthusiastic account of them on his site (in more detail than on his laconic and equally unmissable Twitter account @mondomascots). Discover, among others, an extinct river otter with a bowl of noodles as a hat that represents Susaki City, an “armless, dancing character based an ancient roof tile” or “Colon-chan, an intestine-haired lady who encourages colon cancer screenings”.

Post Secret

Post Secret predated Fesshole, the popular Twitter feed where people confess their sins anonymously and receive internet absolution or condemnation (more likely both). It is a combination of confessional and art project, since contributors send in their contributions on a postcard, sometimes elaborately decorated. “The day I leave this city I’m asking Tim for a kiss”; “Somebody else’s 23andMe DNA test destroyed my life”: each one is a baby-shoes-length short story.

Wikiloc

Wherever you are in the world, find a user-tested walk or cycle route. You can filter for distance, difficulty and for circular walks only. It has taken me to some spectacular spots (and trudging along a few A-roads, too, but that is mainly my incompetence).

Kingdom of Loathing

I don’t really understand what is going on in this long-running gentle, funny game full of stick people yet, but on my first try, I apparently gained “the patience of a tortoise” and a “liver popsicle”. Tell me more.

The Deep Sea

Scroll down, down, down this metre-by metre graphic of the sea and discover all the weird stuff that lives at various levels, with cool facts along the way. It is a good site for a “tag yourself” game with the creatures you encounter: I think I’m a headless chicken fish.

The Met’s Artist Project

Take a couple of minutes to watch a contemporary artist react to pieces in the Metropolitan Museum’s incredibly eclectic collection. Edmund de Waal reflects on why a 500-year-old Chinese jug was left white and Kehinde Wiley discusses class in John Singer Sargent’s portraiture. There are 120 entries in total.

@museumoflostmemories

There’s something really poignant about this Instagram account, which seeks to reunite photos found in junk shops and flea markets with their subjects (or subjects’ descendants): so many forgotten smiles and poses. The hit rate is low, but if you click “Returned!” you can enjoy some really satisfying success stories.

Antipodes Map

A simple site to answer that perennial question: where would you end up if you tunnelled right through the Earth and came out the other side?

Kids Favourite Jams By Their Dads’ Favourite Bands

On TikTok, songwriter Kevin Scott Rhoads spins a wheel to choose a band (Mumford & Sons, Bon Iver, The National) and a nursery rhyme and then produces pitch-perfect parodies. I particularly enjoyed Baby Shark in the style of Radiohead.

xkcd

I don’t understand all of Randall Munroe’s often science and tech-themed stick-figure web comic (Munroe is a physicist who worked for Nasa), but the bits I do get tend to be clever and very funny.

Things Magazine

This densely packed, very plainly formatted compendium of links to interesting things was created by a group of writers and historians with an interest in objects and what they tell us about the world. That doesn’t exactly narrow their remit and it can feel overwhelming, but there is so much delight and interest packed into every post. The newest one has links to a playlist of classic tracks from 1994, royal doppelgangers and a Museum of Failure. Just let your eye wander and alight on whatever link catches your attention, you won’t be disappointed.

Surprised Eel Historian

You may never have thought “I’d like to know more about the history of eels”, but that was a mistake, as this Twitter account full of fascinating eel facts demonstrates.

Owl in a Box

I had to include this, the OG of internet angry birds. There is not much to it: six photographs of a great horned owl found by the side of the road, absolutely furious to be rescued. The photos, in which only one giant yellow eye is visible, glaring balefully through the flap of a cardboard box, make all the years I have wasted on the internet worthwhile. Sort of.

[thanksforthedinosaur]

january 2024

czarface - blast off

dijahsb - how r u

masta ace & marco polo - life music

layfullstop - slow fashion

nyck caution - gunshy

wale the sage - bleue

rapsody - asteroids

kris the $pirit - tswiw

the doppelgangaz - oh my

mindsone - changeling - shapeshifter

de la soul - lovely how i let my mind float

isatta sheriff - rhyme traveller

benaddict - make time as nothing

noname - hold me down

beam - fu

earthgang - flavors of karma

roshin - technicolor

tobi - all night long

connor price - trendsetter

nas - i love this feeling

aesop rock - vititus

donutman - exhibit

soulchef - sunshine

atmosphere - don't mind me

scribe - dreaming

busta rhymes - luxury life

2 chainz - transparency

tkay maidza - love and other drugs

dizzy fae - backseat

jgrrey - theirs13

teni - ybgfa

shay lia - atterrissage

yuna - cyanide

keiynan - triggered

milkoi - skyblue poem

muroki - middle ground

tems - not an angel

arctic lake - fool

holliday howe - miss molly cuddle

saranghae - nevercameback

omniboi - marathon

she loves boon - have a good time

laura elliott - t-shirt

etta marcus - snowflake suzie

nep - fender

david am - what was isn't now

kc rae - bathroom floor

smol fish - sweet taste

packs - abalone

lydia luce - saline

babebee - butterfly 나비

katie pham & the moonbathers - stay inside

arlo parks - i'm sorry

sophie meiers - mutt

field medic - silver girl

addy - carousel

daffo - good god

allie - churning out glitter

leith ross - (you) on my arm

katy kirby - party of the century

bambina - boys who run

liza anne - thank you for your time

yot club - lauren

far caspian - own

tessa rae - someone i know

olivia barton - big sad

ethan tasch - tetherball

grace gardner - surround sound

siv jakobsen - small

haley heynderickx - how does the horse go home?

meg smith - …but i'd miss you too much! (sad girl version)

lexi jayde - worried (demo)

salem ilese - whiplash

tate mcrae - we're not alike

flowerovlove - next best exit

oston - molly.

lauren sanderson - she loves me, she loves me not

dove cameron - sand

cassie marin - could be ours

lolo zouaï - lava lamp

ayleen valentine - anesthetized

lyn lapid - cross ur mind

ko aka koala - sorry in advance (chill version)

new age doom - there is no end

eliza mclamb - mythologize me

emily yacina - nothing lasts

gabby's world - magnify

chastity belt - hollow

soft streak - cruel

wombo - slab

gulfer - clean

sweet pill - chewed up

yurufuwa gang - wash up brain

sjowgren - newrules

green day - look ma, no brains!

dolly parton - heart of glass

motel raphaël - play nice

dora jar - puppet

loony - nothing else feels the same

kimbra - la type

rina sawayama - flavour of the month

lilyisthatyou - siren

tiger darrow - nice girls

tash - lemonade

anni hung - 長大是一瞬間的事 - 電影《夢遊樂園》主題曲

leah dou - monday

linion - the shadow

chelmico - question

taeyeon - nightmare

heize - picnic of night

red velvet - knock knock (who's there?)

slow magic - acceptance

[thewittyphantom]

Got a final Shay episode in Duel Links with flashbacks inside flashbacks!

[flashback] Shay: The Duelists I met in the Standard Dimension...They were supposed to be my foes, but they called me their friend. Sylvio: Not so fast! Sylvio’s stepping in! Shay: No! I’m up! Gong: You’re in no shape to battle! Gong’s takin’ over! Shay: !! Why did you give me these Pendulum Cards? Gong: Because we’re a team. Now go an’ make Gong proud! Shay: .....!! [end flashback] Shay: I thought everyone was my enemy. But I finally realized I was wrong. I learned that those who fought by my side were my friends! [another flashback] Shay: You don’t have to thank me, Crow. I only did what needed to be done. Just like I need to take down Duel Academy, and you need to take down the Topsiders. Crow: I guess even though we have different enemies, we’re sort o’ fighting for the same thing. Good luck trying to take down those Duel Academy thugs. It doesn’t sound like it’s gonna be easy. Shay: I could say the same things about you and the Commons trying to change things in this dimension. Crow: Yeah. I guess we both have our work cut out for us. Shay: That we do! [a different flashback] Shay: You may have pushed me to the edge of defeat, but I’m not giving up. Not for me and definitely not for you! Kite: Why don’t you just leave me alone? I will take down Duel Academy my way! Shay: And I’m saying that way is wrong, Kite! We’re going to take ‘em down the right way - together! I’m gonna Duel some sense into that thick stubborn brick you call a brain. These new friends have made me stronger than ever! When I left this dimension, I was a loner like you, Kite. But my travels taught me that the greatest strength you can have is true friends! Kite: Your so-called friends will let you down. That’s why I Duel on my own. I’ve had enough of people I know just vanishing into nothing. Shay: You think that if you don’t care, you won’t get hurt. The reality is - you always do care! [end flashbacks] Shay: .....That’s right. I don’t want to lose my family or friends again! I will fight to get back what I lost!

[writeintrees]

Find the Word Tag

Thank you for the tag @rachaellawrites !

My words are slide, flicker, dance, and heavy

Tagging @toribookworm22​ @eli-writes-sometimes​ @thatndginger​ and anyone else who sees this and is interested. Please tag me so I can see your lovely work! 

Your words are life, pour, great, and old

From Saving Planet Zora:

Slide:

Jared goes for the door but pauses to give Bennett a concerned look. Bennett takes a deep breath then nods. Jared waves it open. Recording arrays are shoved into their faces as reporters and students talk over each other. Bennett slides behind Jared, letting him take the limelight and trying not to get overwhelmed.

Flicker: 

With a little shuffling they end up with Jared carrying her piggy-back. Her forehead tips forwards and she closes her eyes, although it is evident she’s awake by the way her eyes flicker under her eyelids. After a few minutes, they transfer her to one of the luggage carriers and Bennett prepares for snide comments but none come.

Dance: 

Auburn flying squirrels dance between soapberry trees. One springs off a trunk, unfurls the skin between its six legs, and harnesses air currents by using its flat tail like a rudder. A large nut is clasped between its long jaws. Another squirrel scampers after it, jumping nimbly from a fungal shelf and gliding using its patagium. They weave an intricate dance around a violet aspen trunk. The first reaches the hollow and the second is deterred by the furious squeaks and the scent marks that line the opening. It skirts past a snag of teal fur as it glides onward to find its own bounty.

Heavy:

It takes a moment of confusedly waving at the door reader to realize it is still locked from when he barricaded himself inside the previous evening. He unlocks it and stumbles into the hall, pivoting towards the closest bathroom.

“Bennett!” A shout comes from behind him, followed by heavy clomping footsteps.

He puts a hand against the wall to steady himself and tries to blink the sleep haze from his brain. 

“Bennett, hey.” Shay catches up and puts a hand to his shoulder. “You’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.”

[ear-worthy]

iHeartPodcast Award Nominees Announced: Indie Podcasts Mostly Ignored

iHeartMedia has announced the nominees for the 2024 iHeartPodcast Awards presented by The Hartford live at SXSW. The awards, which claim to honor the very best in podcasting from 2023 and celebrate the most innovative talent and content creators in the industry, will feature 29 categories spanning podcast genres.

Independent podcasters -- the backbone of podcasting -- are again underrepresented in the award process. Most of the nominees are TV personalities.

In the United Kingdom on October 31, 2023, the first-ever Independent Podcast Award ceremony was held in London.

The Independent Podcast Awards were set up by whynow Media and the Verbal Diorama podcast team to help uncover the talent that they have in the UK, but that doesn’t always get the recognition it deserves.

The awards, which were also sponsored by companies including Captivate, Adelicious and Pirate, were launched last year to celebrate the independent podcasting sector.

Perhaps, a similar event will take shape in the U.S.

This year, iHeartMedia teamed up with South by Southwest (SXSW) Conference and Festivals to host the live and in-person ceremony in Austin, Texas at the Fairmont Hotel on Monday, March 11 at 8 p.m. CT.

“As the podcast industry continues to rapidly grow, this past year has clearly proven that podcasters are always innovating in the audio space and finding new ways to reach and engage new audiences,” said Conal Byrne, CEO of iHeartMedia’s Digital Audio Group. “The nominees for the 2024 iHeartPodcast Awards reflect the results of honing that creativity, and we’re thrilled to celebrate and once again empower these creators and elevate the podcast industry together live in person at SXSW.”

No word from Mr. Byrne about independent podcasters.

Each year, podcast fans help decide the winner of the Podcast of the Year by voting online at iHeartPodcastAwards.com from February 5 through February 18.

Last year, the virtual 2023 iHeartPodcast Awards were hosted by actor and comedian Brian Baumgartner, and featured a variety of appearances by celebrities who mostly found fame and success on TV.

Maybe this year, the award ceremony will include people who are born and bred in podcasting.

The full 2024 category nominees are:

Podcast of the Year presented by The Hartford:Crime Junkie The Daily My Favorite Murder New Heights Normal Gossip On Purpose with Jay Shetty The Retrievals Scamanda SmartLess Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus

Best Business & Finance:Direct Deposit How I Built This MoneyWatch with Jill Schlesinger Networth & Chill with Your Rich BFF Planet Money

Best Comedy:Baby, This is Keke Palmer Handsome SmartLess This Is Important Why Won't You Date Me

Best Crime:Crime Junkie The Girlfriends The Retrievals Scamanda Something Was Wrong

Best Pop Culture:Las Culturistas I've Had It Just B with Bethenny Frankel Search Engine Watch What Crappens

Best Food Podcast Award Presented by Planet Oat:Cereal Killers Hungry for History Recipe Club The Splendid Table Sporkful

Best Wellness & Fitness:Huberman Lab Maintenance Phase The Mel Robbins Podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty Therapy For Black Girls

Best History:Mobituaries with Mo Rocca Revisionist History Slow Burn Throughline You're Wrong About

Best Kids & Family:Good Inside with Dr. Becky Kids Short Stories with Mr. Jim Sound Detectives Story Pirates The Suga

Best Music:Disgraceland Million Dollaz Worth of Game Popcast Questlove Supreme Song Exploder

Best News:The Daily Pivot Pod Save America Today Explained Up First

Best Fiction:Ad Lucem Full Body Chills The Mantawauk Caves Radio Rental The Space Within

Best Sports:Around The NFL Club Shay Shay The Dan Le Batard Show New Heights Pardon My Take

Best Science:Hidden Brain Inner Cosmos Ologies Radio Lab StarTalk

Best Technology:All-In Hard Fork Lex Fridman Podcast TED Radio Hour Vergecast

Best Ad Read:Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend Heavyweight How Did This Get Made? Say More with Dr. Sheila SmartLess

Best Overall Host:Joe Budden (The Joe Budden Podcast) Jonathan Goldstein (Heavyweight) Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Wiser Than Me) Laci Mosley (Scam Goddess) Nicole Byer (Why Won’t You Date Me?)

Best Overall Ensemble:The 85 South Show Handsome New Heights SmartLess Today, Explained

Best Political:The Ben Shapiro Show CNN Inside Politics Countdown with Keith Olbermann NPR Politics Podcast Pod Save America

Best TV & Film:Drama Queens Films to be Buried With Give Them Lala w/ Lala Kent How Did This Get Made? Pop Culture Happy Hour

Best Spanish Language:La Brega Cassettes Duolingo Spanish Leyendas Legendarias Transportista: Who Murdered Captain Coral? (Spanish version)

Best Advice / Inspirational:Getting Curious Dear Chelsea Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast This Keeps Happening with Vienna Pharaon We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle

Best Beauty & Fashion:Add to Cart with Kulap Vilaysack & SuChin Pak Articles of Interest Fool Coverage with Manny MUA and Laura Lee The Goop Pursuit: Healing in a Sick Society Lipstick On The Rim

Best Travel:As Told By Nomads Atlas Obscura The Travel Hacking Mom Show Travel With Rick Steves Women Who Travel

Best Green:Climate of Change Discarded Living on Earth TED Climate Sea Change

Best Spirituality & Religion:The Bible in a Year with Fr. Mike Schmitz The Bible Recap Elevation with Steve Furtick On Being with Krista Tippett Women Evolve

Best Branded Podcast: Crimson Hearts Collide (Hallmark Media) Love In Gravity (ViiV Healthcare) Mind the Business (Intuit Quickbooks) Symptomatic (Novartis) Townsizing (HGTV)

Best Emerging:Classy Handsome How to Destroy Everything I’ve Had It The Really Good Podcast with Bobbi Althoff

Best International:CTV Question Period with Vassy Kapelos (Canada) Dichosa Sexualidad (Mexico) The Fold (New Zealand) The Imperfects (Australia) Rocio Cordova (Mexico)

I think it's sad that iHeart has not carved out award categories for independent podcasters like The Life Shift, Multispective, The Nightingale Of Iran, Murder Sheet, Double Take, Infernal Communication, EarBuds Podcast Collective, and many other deserving indie podcasts and podcasters.

For more information about the 2024 iHeartPodcast Awards, click HERE. If you do click, ask iHeart why indie podcasts do not have a more prominent role in these awards. After all, iHeart didn't invent podcasting or participate in its growth in the early, formative years. Independent podcasters did that.