#instead i spent the whole day trying to avoid That but unfortunately there is no way to avoid a deadline

[fullofbees]

No Nut November!!

»»----------► GN!Reader

Read about the Losers here

Satan finds you in the school library, searching for a book to write your report on. He passes Levi and Mammon bickering in hushed tones nearby, and grabs a tome that you were struggling to reach.

"Pardon me," he says as his hand rests on your lower back, "I leave you alone for two minutes and the wolves descend."

"I can't believe you're quoting Twilight at me." You snort, snatching the book from his hands and tucking it under your arm. It had been a joke when you suggested he read it, but he had enthusiastic about the idea, and now he uses it to tease you any chance he gets. You don't want to admit how well his voice suits the role, but still, you let him press your bodies together.

"Can I ask you a question?" Satan asks after he's also done chuckling.

"Always," you say.

"What's no nut november?"

"WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT PHRASE?"

The library-goers reprimand you with a resounding chorus of disturbed whispers and angry shushing.

WINNERS:

It would not be the first time Lucifer would go without sexual activity due to the immense workload from Diavolo. When you're practically as old as time, a month is nothing. Though he considers the challenge to be rather childish, as are most of the shenanigans his brothers get up to, his pride refuses to back down from the fight.

What he carelessly forgot to consider was you. Ever the troublemaker yourself, he expected you to tease him for agreeing to the silly game, but he never foresaw sabotage.

There were multiple nights where you'd slink quietly into his bed, waking the demon up with your mouth around his cock, suckling the precum from the head. When you would see his eyes flutter open, you'd take him whole, swallowing him down until your nose brushed against his pelvis. Thankfully, he'd wake up before you could cost him his victory, playfully swatting you off while you'd laugh and laugh.

You never escaped unscathed, as Lucifer would grab you as soon as you tried to flee and make you ride him until you were shaking. The feel of your body trembling above him is enough to send him over the edge, and he'd squeeze the base of his cock, desperately trying to keep his orgasm at bay.

Despite your efforts, he managed to finish the month without incident, though he paid you back in kind as soon as December rolled around.

Beel wins because he is easily distracted by his busy game schedule and, of course, food.

Instead of sabotaging, you support Beel through his efforts by constantly carrying snacks. You can grow closer to him now that the others aren't competing for your attention (They heard of your efforts for sabotage and have been avoiding you). Afternoons are spent as an unofficial cheerleader during his Fangol practice, while evenings are spent experimenting with different recipes, Beel serving as your personal taste tester.

Mornings are the roughest, as you can't distract Beel within his dreams. You've woken up to his large hands roaming your body, soft groans rumbling in his throat, and drool slipping from the corner of his lips. His whispered mumblings would be so cute if it weren't for the lewd position he's trapped you in, leg slung around his waist and face buried between his ample pecs. He holds you still against him, hips grinding his cock between your legs, leaving no room to wonder what exactly he's dreaming of.

It's a fight to escape his arms as you attempt to reach for the cookies left on the bedside table. The struggle wakes the demon, who smiles sheepishly at you once he realizes what is happening. Unfortunately, you have to leave him alone after these incidents, lest you become the tempestuous snack of the day.

Like his brother, Belphegor can easily distract himself from his urges with the thought of sleep. He spends most of November holed up in the attic or his bedroom, cuddling his cow print pillow and softly snoring away the challenge. You tried a few times to tempt the demon but were unsuccessful because you couldn't manage to wake him up from his slumber.

He still finds time to be a brat, though. Nap time quickly turns into his play time, as he uses his powers to influence your dreams, turning whatever surreal scene that plays into a den of debauchery. The magical connection is permanently severed before either of you can finish, however; each night, you wake sweating and alone in the comfort of your bed, with a new memory of how Belphie used your body for his own pleasure. Your core clenches around nothing, aching to be filled in a way that the dreams could never satisfy.

You can hear his smug tone when he texts you after. It's a mere reminder that you should be sleeping, especially if you're to have energy for the next night. With a groan, you contemplate exposing his cheating to his brothers and having him disqualified. You decide against it but set a reminder to ask Solomon about dream magic when you see him next.

This man barely has alone time as it is. Luke keeps him busy throughout the day, and Simeon is too tired when night rolls around. Still, the angel had agreed to play, while you're mortified to learn one stupid conversation with Levi had spread to Purgatory Hall. You don't risk tempting him; you don't know if you could forgive yourself if you were to ruin his heavenly status.

That doesn't stop Simeon from interrupting while you set the table, plates in hand, as he presses you against the solid wood. It's a test of multiple limits; The brothers are in the kitchen; one could walk out any moment and catch the angel trying not to cum as he grinds against your backside. His gloved hands dig into your sides, holding you close as Simeon teases himself against your body, whispering praises in your ear and making heat pool in your core.

He's done as quickly as he started, cock throbbing in his pants as he excuses himself to the bathroom, murmuring about a cold water remedy. You don't have an excuse at the ready when Lucifer glares at you, finding the table halfway set as the brothers file out from the kitchen.

Like Simeon, Barbatos doesn't have the time; truthfully, he'd rather be baking anyway. He agrees to play simply because he knows how easily he'll win. The demon doesn't worry about your interference either, finding it much more enjoyable to serve your whims. After all, the game says nothing about helping others find pleasure in his touch.

That's how you find yourself bent over the kitchen counter, two of his lithe fingers thrusting inside of you. He urges you to be quiet, saying your moans will wake the castle before mirthfully chastising you for the "mess" you're creating. The pleasure is so overwhelming that you can't manage a response, which only makes the demon butler delightfully smile.

Barbatos is always thorough; when you finally reach your release, he drops to his knees and cleans the slick that coats your thighs. He's not afraid to be obscene, lewdly and loudly sucking on your skin, leaving behind minor purple marks, his own reward for resisting the temptation.

Tumblr forcing me to split this into two parts >:[

-> Head to Main Masterlist

-> My Ko-fi!

[naughtyneganjdm]

Sneaking in a Quickie

Summary: Taking your niece to a haunted farm attraction turns out to be a fun night when you convince Joel to sneak off with you to enjoy one another.

Characters: Joel Miller & the reader (OC, second person)

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59500783

Warnings: 18+, Swearing, Smut, public sex, rough sex, unprotected p in v, Halloween themed, no use of Y/N, female reader, little to no plot, mentions of Sarah, etc.

Notes: This is day 3 to go with this kinktober list. The prompt I chose was "public sex".

What you thought was going to be a boring night babysitting two kids was actually turning out to be a whole lot more interesting than you thought it would be. When your niece asked you to take her to a haunted farm with multiple attractions for Halloween, you happily accepted. You wanted to spend more time with her, but when you found out she just wanted you to go in order to be a guardian to watch over her and her friend because her parents didn’t want to take her, that’s when it seemed like it was going to be boring. It had been a long time since you had gone to a haunted house of any kind and you thought you were going to be a third wheel.

Instead, when you got to the place, you were pleasantly surprised that your niece’s friend, Sarah, had brought her father along with her. That way you wouldn’t be the only adult there. And it didn’t hurt that he was incredibly good looking.

Joel Miller was his name, and, at first, he was very shy. Soft spoken. Avoided eye contact. Before the event started, you were all sitting at a picnic table with the girls talking back and forth which left you trying to make conversation with him. It was hard, but eventually you got him talking. And once he did, you couldn’t get enough of his southern drawl. From his chocolate brown eyes to his dimples and dark messy hair, you found yourself swooning over this man.

If you were in other situations, you wouldn’t have had a hard time making a pass at him. Unfortunately you were in front of children and that wasn’t going to happen. So you could only flirt with him in the most innocent of ways.

Most of the haunted attractions didn’t start until sundown, so the four of you walked around a scare zone that they had for what appeared to be the younger children. There were mazes with paintings on the walls, a spinning tunnel, a corn maze and other odds and ends. Truthfully? You didn’t care what you were doing as long as you were close to Joel. You wanted to make a good impression on him and by the lack of a ring on his finger you knew that it’d be okay with you trying so hard.

Once the sun went down, you were enamored by how much he visibly loved his daughter, but also by his smartass attitude. When the girls asked you and Joel to go first into the haunted barn attraction that they had because they were scared, Joel reminded them that the actors often went after those in the back. And he was right. Multiple times the actors would work twice as hard to scare the girls and when they got out of line, Joel would make his presence known. So while the teens were happy to be there, they also had their bodyguard to keep them safe.

Together as a group, all of you had spent a lot of time together and the more time you spent with Joel, the hotter you were for him. And by the way he was looking at you toward the end of the night, you wondered if he felt the same.

Part of you was incredibly excited when a group of girls showed up that were friends with your niece and Sarah. They begged to go spend time with them since there was a mother with that group as well. Joel agreed but requested them to meet back at a certain time.

This was exactly what you wanted. Joel suggested the two of you take a walk through the corn maze which wasn’t incredibly busy. Walking side by side with Joel felt nice. It was a cold night and the warmth of his body radiated next to yours warming you right up.

“So…” you finally let the thing that you had been wondering all night escape you. “Are you dating anyone?”

“I don’t have time for that,” Joel admitted with a nervous breath, his brow line furrowing with him shoving his hands further into his jean pockets. “Between Sarah and work, not much time for anything else.”

“Oh,” you breathed out, giving him a small nod. You didn’t want to look too happy to hear that so you looked away. “So does that leave a lot of time for sex?”

“Wow,” Joel chuckled, stopping in his tracks to give you a once over. “You just jump right in, don’t you?”

“I’m curious,” you felt a warmth flooding into your cheeks wondering if you had overstepped with the question. “Someone who looks like you…”

“What do you mean?” Joel question, his eyebrow arching in amusement.

“I mean you’re gorgeous,” you were blunt with your response. How else could you put it? “Look at you Joel.”

“Thank you,” Joel chuckled under his breath, his dimples becoming more visible. You couldn’t tell if he was embarrassed or charmed by your comment. It was also somewhat dark so it didn’t allow you to see the full emotion in Joel’s dark eyes. “As are you.”

Hearing that sent a rush through your veins.

“And to answer your question,” Joel began, pulling his right hand from his pocket to reach up to brush his fingers through his messy hair. “Not really.”

“Not really?” you repeated, confused what question he was referring to. You were still focused on the idea that he thought you were gorgeous.

“Sex. I don’t have much of it,” Joel admitted, biting at his bottom lip when his dark eyes locked with yours.

“That’s a shame,” you frowned realizing that you had reached the end of the corn maze leading you back out into the open area of the scare zone again. Most of the crowd was at the haunted hayride or the haunted barn. And anyone else was really sitting at the tables talking or hanging out. The area you were walking around was more for the younger kids and since it was nighttime, the area was rather empty. “How brave are you?”

“That depends on what you’re asking,” Joel asserted, turning to face you with a confused expression. “Why do you ask?”

“I would happily take you behind the building and give you a blowjob,” you offered in a whisper having Joel release a long exhale of air from his throat. His shoulders slouched forward, his brow line rising before he looked over his shoulder to see if you were alone. “I noticed that anyone that leaves that building goes out the side. No one goes behind it.”

“Wow,” Joel muttered and it made you panic. Yeah, that was forward, but you were jumping on what you could, hoping that you could get something from this moment. You were heavily attracted to this man and you had the time to try. Looking back toward the building that you were referring to, Joel seemed to actually be considering what you said. “You know…” Joel paused, looking back toward the large group of people again, “A blowjob sounds nice, but I’d much rather fuck you.”

Hooking his fingers firmly around your wrist, Joel led you through the field. Your heart was hammering inside of your chest with the excitement flooding your veins. As you rounded the corner of the building to the maze, you made sure that no one was watching when Joel firmly pushed you against the wall eliciting a surprise gasp from you.

“Can you be quiet?” Joel wondered waiting for your answer before he did anything else. Giving him a nod, you couldn’t form words. Or maybe you were just trying to prove already that you could be quiet. Smirking, Joel bobbed his head about and looked around you to check to make sure you were alone. Once he was certain that you were, he stepped forward trapping you between him and the building. Caressing in over your hips, his large palms squeezed at them with the warmth of his breath lingering over your mouth. “You are wild, y’know that?”

“Only in the best of ways,” you whispered, your hand pressing in over the center of his firm chest. It was then that Joel stole a kiss from your lips. It was actually pretty sweet for a first kiss in a moment like this. It lingered and it felt good. Tipping back, his eyes gazed over you and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. There was only a small amount of light that allowed you to see him from the flood lights the place had set up in the main area and the light from the moon. Palming up over his chest, you slid your fingers in underneath the jacket he was wearing to caress over his arms. Underneath you felt the firmness of his biceps and it took your breath away. “You are a fine specimen of a man Joel Miller.”

“Just you wait until you realize just how fine,” Joel growled, hammering his mouth down over yours. This time it was a very dominant, passionate kiss that had you tipping up on your toes to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Parting your lips allowed him to brush his tongue between your lips and you happily returned the gesture. Gasping out, you were surprised at Joel’s quickness when he turned you to face the wooden walls that someone had thrown up quickly in order to make this place. “We have to be quick, otherwise, I reckon I’d love to kiss you all night.”

Sucking in a sharp breath of air, your eyes slammed shut and you purred out at the feeling of Joel pressing in behind you. His hands caressed up over the sides of your body and then back again. Pushing his hips forward toward your bottom had your eyes coming to a tight close. God, you wanted this so bad. And it was super naughty considering you were in public, not far away from a large group of people.

Forcefully, Joel pushed up the material of your shirt and the light jacket that you were wearing. Finding the top of your pants, he hastily tugged the material getting it down to the bottom of your thighs along with your panties. The sudden coolness of the night air sent a shuddering chill throughout your body. What followed was the sound of Joel swiftly pulling open his belt and working his pants open.

“This is going to be hard and fast. We have to make it quick, but don’t make a sound or else we can get caught. D’you understand?” Joel grunted in your ear, pressing in closer to you and it took your breath away. “D’you?”

“Yes sir,” you panted, hissing out at the incredible amount of pressure that was put over your hips with Joel moving you where he wanted you. Bracing your hands against the wall of the building, you licked your lips and did your best to hold back the whine that you wanted to let out when you felt the tip of Joel’s cock tracing over the length of your sex. God, you wished you could have seen it, but all you could do was picture it when he teased it over your clit and back toward your entrance. A moment later, Joel’s hips bounced up toward yours filling you. “Fu…”

You had to bite down on your bottom lip to silence yourself, knowing the rules. The stretching feeling was immediate. Fuck he was big. Joel stepped forward, forcing you closer toward the building with your face pressing against the coolness of it. Once he got his footing, Joel’s thrusts were meticulous. They were hard and focused. Other than his breathing growing louder, Joel was doing a pretty good job at staying quiet.

You on the other hand were fighting to stay quiet. Every bounce forward of his hips had a smacking sound filling the air. Faint winces were falling from your lips and you started to eagerly bounce your hips back against Joel’s movements. You wanted to feel every part of him inside of you. It was an addictive feeling and you hadn’t even had it that long.

The smacking of his testicles against your clit with every forceful thrust forward was driving you crazy with desire. God, you wished this didn’t have to be a quickie, but still you were loving every second of it. Pressing his head further against the side of your neck, Joel’s breaths were more broken.

“You were a happy surprise,” Joel alerted you with a quiet voice, the warmth of his breath sending chills down your spine. Dropping your left hand down, you wrapped your arm around you to cup at Joel’s bottom. Beneath your fingertips, it flexed with every thrust forward he made. Soon with your urgings, he was pounding into you and you were having a hard time hiding the sounds. Curling his fingers around your mouth had you moaning out into his palm. An amused rumble fell from him with him angling his hips differently. “We have to keep you quiet now.”

Your legs felt like Jell-O. If he didn’t have you pressed up against the wall and he wasn’t keeping you up with his other arm wrapped around your waist, you were certain that you wouldn’t be able to stand on your own.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” Joel slurred in your ear and it had your eyes closing shut tightly. The tip of Joel’s cock was hitting your g-spot with every forceful thrust that he made forward. Your thighs were tensing up with a fire building in the pit of your stomach. So badly you wanted to make a noise, but Joel’s hand was keeping you from doing so. With the way you were shaking, Joel must have picked up on it with his thrusts becoming more powerful. They slowed down, but the force of them had you bouncing up on your toes toward the building. And after a few more determined thrusts, it had Joel pulling his hips back and away from you when your body shuddered and a wet sound followed. With an amused rumble, Joel still kept his fingers wrapped around your lips with your body now slouched forward shaking. “I did not picture you squirting during this, but I like it…”

Joel’s free hand found it’s way between your legs to caress at your clitoris, his fingers having you bucking up toward his touch, “how do you want me to finish?”

Shakily dropping to your knees had Joel smiling when you turned to face him. Stepping forward, he allowed you to grab at his hips to pull him closer to you. Taking your time, you curled your fingers around Joel’s length, pumping his flesh in your grasp. And when he let out a shuddering breath, you took him into your mouth, working to bob your head over his cock at the same tempo you were caressing over the base of it with.

“That’s it,” Joel licked his lips, his fingers pressing in over the back of your head to help lead your movements over his erection. Wet sounds were falling from his parted lips with the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. Thrusting toward your mouth, Joel was undoubtedly wanting to get that quick release so no one would catch the two of you. “Fuck…”

In that moment you felt Joel tensing up, his cock throbbing inside of your mouth. Bouncing his hips forward, Joel pressed you further down his length. The first line of his cum hit the back of your throat and you did your best to swallow it down. Continuing his release, Joel clung tightly to your head biting back the sounds that he wanted to make.

By the time he was done, he released you allowing you to pull back and away to rest on your knees. Joel’s cock twitched and you licked your lips, cherishing the taste of him that was still there. Reaching for his pants, Joel pulled them back over his hips. Working his softening cock back into his pants, Joel was quick to fix his clothes before helping you up.

“Come here,” Joel nuzzled his nose in against the side of your neck while he helped work your pants back up over your waist.

“So you’re a gentleman too?” you teased still feeling uneasy on your legs, thankful that Joel was holding onto you.

“Something like that,” Joel snorted, collecting your chin between his thumb and index finger. Gifting you with another kiss, Joel hummed against your flesh. You assumed he tasted himself against your flesh with him drawing his tongue out over his bottom lip. Looking to his watch, Joel huffed and shrugged his shoulders. “We need to get going.”

“That’s a shame,” you frowned hating how quickly something this amazing had to end.

“Nothing about tonight was a shame,” Joel corrected you, outstretching his hand to caress his thumb in over your bottom lip. “We’re just going to have to find a time where we can do this again and make it last all night.”  

[jadeoru]

coffee beans.

synopsis: valentine's day was spent the same way every year: coffee, and studying, all while trying her best to avoid the happy couples in love. unfortunately, her tradition was interrupted by a clumsy pretty barista. or: kiyoko felt like she wasn't capable of feeling love, turns out she's just gay

warnings/tags: reader is a barista! fluff, meet-ugly, afab!reader, reader is referred to as a girl, kiyoko's pov, kiyoko is an anxious shy mess (me too), flirting (pathetic), kiyoko's gay awakening lmfao, kiyoko's a la dispute fan because i said so, poop jokes, i actually hate how this turned out but oh well, wrote this for the 3 kiyoko lovers of the world

wc: 3.5k words

now playing: very cliché but definitely girls - girl in red lmao 🎶

Kiyoko saw love as a waste of time. She lived her whole life in a society held together by the prospect of love. It chased her in many forms: her parents, her friends, music, art, - she knew it well. In her childhood, love was just another friend of hers; a familiar taste on her tongue, similar to her mother’s cooking. It was a feeling of home. But as she grew up, the flavour grew progressively more acrid; bitter. She watched as her friends changed, each of them infatuated by the weird feeling. Everyone around her had a crush on someone. Conversations with her friends quickly became dull. No one was the same as they got older. Everyone around her was falling in love; a victim of cupid's spell. She felt left out; ostracised. In her eyes, love seemed like a trap; a chain, connecting you to someone for the rest of your life. She never understood the appeal, and how everyone saw the cruel, suffocating feeling as a warm embrace - whirling inside of you. She was frustrated. It was stressful not knowing what was wrong with her - why she was so different from her peers. She tried relationships, they always felt wrong. She was asked out by 2 different guys, each time she said yes. She agreed not because the feeling was mutual, but because she hoped she could force herself to feel the same. In the end, she discovered that butterflies are just colourful moths that find home inside of your gut, and mess everything up as they inevitably rot away. Cupid shot Kiyoko with their arrow on multiple occasions; each time left her on the cusp of bleeding out. All everyone cared about was love. As everyone around her found their person, she found herself slowly left behind. Love was in the air, and she was allergic.

In a way, her friends felt bad for her. They didn’t understand, and honestly, neither did she. They frequently tried setting her up on dates. She met all kinds of guys, each one somewhat worse than the last. Every date felt so strange; something wasn’t right. Was that how all dates went? - That’s it? She honestly felt guilty. Her friends put so much effort into those dates, trying to find her soulmate. They genuinely cared about her. They wanted her to experience true love. She felt bad for being so difficult. It got to the point where she’d resort to pretending. She’d choose a random guy in her class, one that was objectively attractive, and led her friend’s to believe her poorly acted out infatuation was true love. A part of her hoped that by lying to her friends, she could lie to herself, and believe it. With fingers crossed, she prayed for her to finally succeed, She hoped that maybe, she’d finally experience the warmth of her heart pounding in her chest. 

Graduation passed her by; it never worked.

To her, it was pointless. She tried it so many times, and in the end, she was always left unsatisfied. She lost faith in her search for love ages ago, and honestly stopped believing in it. Instead of flowers and holding hands with someone, love found her in other strange ways. To her, love was the cat that always met with her on her way to college, or when she found a song that she related to deeply. Love was the face of her mother when she was accepted into college. Love was spending time by herself; writing mediocre poetry, back pressed almost comfortably against a tree. With the exception of her father, love was never the face of a man. That was something she never came to terms with until her early adult years. That was something she thought she'd never understand;

She was wrong.

February was the worst. As if the people around her couldn’t get even more annoying, someone had the bright idea to make a whole day about love. She hated it. The commute to town was even more unbearable than it usually was. Instead of being surrounded by groaning strangers that had too much to drink last night; definitely did not get any sleep, mother’s carrying their screaming babies, the annoying screeching noise that erupted from the train every time it came to a halt, she was surrounded by cheesy lovers that flirted way too loudly. Noise-cancelling headphones were the greatest purchase she ever made.

The train to town was almost worse than the bustling, busy streets. Almost. As if her day couldn’t get any worse, all of her favourite places to spend her lunch were overrun, infected by insufferable couples. She turned her nose up with negativity. She wasn’t mad at them, if anything, she was envious. Why did she have to spend this magical holiday alone? It was unfair. She wanted not just to be loved, but to love. Her head spiralled every time she questioned herself;  she never thought about it too much to prevent her from the gnawing pit that grew within her. It took a few miserable Valentine’s Day’s for her to cultivate a steady ‘celebration’ routine; A survival plan: she would take the train at 8:20, which would be significantly less busy than the one she usually got, put on her headphones, blasted La Dispute for the entire duration of the train ride while staring out the window, and then scurried her way through the hectic crowds to her favorite, quaint, quiet, family-owned coffee shop. There, she would grab the biggest, strongest coffee they had (with a generous amount of caramel syrup, to satiate her sweet tooth), and ploughed through her assignments with peaceful relief etched into every line her pen wrote. 

That was how she spent every Valentine’s Day without fail - Without interruption. She finally had a stable routine that wouldn’t make her feel like a dysfunctional human. A routine that wouldn’t make her feel like there was something wrong with her. A distraction from the onslaught of love that crept up behind her; always facing her back, never once meeting her face to face. Up until now, it almost always went smoothly. It almost worked. She got off the train with high hopes, a subtle smile on her features as she silently appreciated the lyricism of the song she had on shuffle. She had only one notification on her phone: a warning to turn her volume down. All of her friends were busy spending time with their person. Of course they were too busy to text her. With a sigh, she increased the volume to the loudest it could go, and drowned out every thought and jealousy that plagued her mind. She didn’t care about damaging her hearing. At least she wouldn’t have to listen to grown adults talking and cooing to each other like babies. She hated that.

The walk to the coffee shop was fine. She kept to her side of the footpath, and held stern eye contact with the pavement. The cracks in the concrete were way more interesting than the romance that clouded the public anyways. Turning the door-handle, she silently rehearsed her order in her mind, before making her way to the counter. It was relatively quiet; empty. That’s how it normally was. This place was her escape from reality. It was small, quiet, the music they played was nice, and the baristas were always so polite to her. However, as she walked up to the counter, she was unable to recognise the barista behind the register. Was she new? She must’ve been, Kiyoko went there at least three times a week, and never once had she seen her. She wasn’t upset though, not in the slightest. She just hoped she would be as nice as the others. She watched attentively as the girl took the order of the person in front of her. She was smiling widely after each sentence that fled her lips. Not a fake customer-service smile, but a real genuine one. Kiyoko admired that. She continued to watch as she took the money from the customer and quickly placed it into the cash register. In one quick moment, Kiyoko found herself standing speechless directly in front of her. “Hey, what can I get for you?” She asked, giving Kiyoko absolutely zero time to mentally prepare herself to talk to her. She stuttered out her order with a strange feeling in her chest. She cringed at how stupid she sounded. “Of course! Would you like that in a takeaway cup?” She asked, flashing her a smile. It was so strange. Her smile seemed so familiar, so warm. The smile on her face almost made her feel at home; safe. She typed her order into the machine. Kiyoko was relieved - the eye contact was becoming too much for her. “Yes please.” She almost whispered, her voice unusually soft. She only nodded in response, letting out an “mhm!” in acknowledgement. She looked up at Kiyoko again, and she finally understood what it meant to have your heart skip a beat. “That’ll be 5,60! Are you paying with cash or card?”

The moment lasted only 30 seconds at most, and yet Kiyoko felt like she was suffering with a life-long crisis. As she handed her cash to her, she found herself questioning every choice she had ever made that led up to that moment. She couldn’t find the right words to describe how she felt. Conflicted? Confused? She couldn’t think of the right one. She couldn’t think of anything, besides the feeling of her hand touching hers for a split second, as she handed the money to her. She placed the money inside the register just like she did with the last customer. But, unlike she did with them, she leaned over the counter - propping her head up with her hands.

“It’ll be ready in about 5 minutes, pretty.”

With bright red cheeks and wobbly knees, she nodded her head, and almost sprinted to the pick-up counter.

There are a lot of things you could do in 5 minutes. You could listen to a song, count the tiles on the floor, or even count each second down to the last minute. Kiyoko chose neither of those. Instead, she stared at the floor, replaying the interaction in her head over a hundred times. She wasn’t entirely sure what was wrong with her, but one thing she knew for certain was she never felt that way about someone before. Ever. Those five minutes were spent questioning her entire existence. She struggled to come to an obvious conclusion. As it reached the tip of her tongue, her name was called out.

She spoke her name in a way that drove her crazy. The way each syllable rolled off her tongue had her worried she was going to suffer a heart attack. She quickly whipped her head around to face the barista again. She was suddenly very aware of how uncomfortably warm her face was. “You know… your name is almost as pretty as your face.” She almost whispered, a grin widely displayed on her cheeks as her eyes consumed Kiyoko whole. She leaned over the counter again, holding the cup out to Kiyoko. She really liked when she did that - for some strange reason. Her compliment caught Kiyoko completely off guard, hitting her almost like an arrow to the heart. A stupid smile spread out on her face. She wasn’t sure how else to react; It wasn’t socially acceptable to kick your feet and squeal in the middle of a coffee shop. Muttering a shy, “thank you so much!”, she held her hand out to grab the coffee from her. But, before she could get a stable grip on the cup, the barista let go of it too soon, almost out of embarrassment. In doing so, it caused the large, hot coffee to fall directly onto Kiyoko’s hand-made, wool sweater; crashing onto it like a boiling wave, spilling all over her and soaking her in the warm liquid.

There was a moment of mutual shock between them, a brief few seconds spent silently staring at each other. She did a terrible job at hiding the disgusted, uncomfortable look on her face as the coffee seeped through her sweater, ruining the shirt she was wearing under it, and sticking to her bare skin. She looked down to assess the damage done to her clothes. They were ruined. A big, attention-grabbing stain was spread unevenly on her sweater. This was the worst. She looked up at the barista, who looked even more terrified than she was. Her hands flew to cover her mouth, but Kiyoko could see the guilty, fearful look in her eyes. They stayed like that for a few seconds. Uncomfortable silence engulfed the room; like time stopped. Kiyoko didn’t look away from the barista, but she could tell that other people were definitely staring at the two of them. She wanted the ground to swallow her up. The barista was the first one to speak up.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She could tell by the tone of her voice just how serious she was. Kiyoko opened her mouth to speak, to quickly forgive her. She just wanted to go home. Embarrassment enveloped her entirely, and the strong scent of coffee attacked her nostrils in an almost painful way, but the barista spoke up again. “Wait here, I’ll go get you some tissues!” She pleaded, raising her hands cautiously. She nodded in response, watching in silence as the barista urgently dashed through the door behind her. She silently cursed herself for not staying silent. She wiped her hand on her sweater, before holding it to her face to look at it. Her fingers were stained brown. At least her sweater didn’t absorb it all. She waited at the counter for the barista to return like a deer in headlights. She didn’t close the door to her break-room, so Kiyoko could just barely see her.

She was really pretty. Like, really really pretty. Even in her coffee-stained apron (She’s probably done this before to someone else - Kiyoko almost laughed at the thought), and her hair all messy from a probably stressful day, she was beautiful. Even as she frantically tore apart her break-room, Kiyoko couldn’t help but feel her heart whirling around at her irresistible pulchritude. A dumb smile plastered across Kiyoko's face. Technically, she should feel annoyed. She loved that sweater to death. But, in a weird way, she was glad. She knew that from then on, every time she looked at that stain, she would see a trace of her. Although she wasn’t entirely sure what any of her feelings meant, she didn’t have the time to care. For now, she would just let herself feel whatever feelings she felt, without the need to understand. She would have a crisis later. For now, she needed to befriend the clumsy, pretty barista. 

She speed-walked back to the counter, holding tissues out to her. Realistically, tissues would not reverse any of the damage, but it was the thought that counted. “Here. I’m so sorry about that.” She said, lips curving into an apologetic smile so nice Kiyoko couldn’t help but mirror it. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” She answered, staring at her lips for an embarrassingly long moment, before finally returning to her eyes. She reached out to take the tissues from her hand. Have her fingers always been this shaky? The lack of sleep she got the night before must’ve been affecting her mind, because she could’ve sworn you grazed your hand over hers purposefully. She must’ve imagined it. She awkwardly wiped her sweater with it, staining the tissue in the process. The stain didn’t budge.

The barista cleared her throat. “Would it help if I told you I still think you’re really pretty?” She fidgeted with her hands, an empathetic look in her eyes as she silently hoped to uplift Kiyoko’s spirits. Totally not because she was also insanely into her. Totally. Kiyoko almost dropped the tissue. Hell, she almost dropped her jaw at the sudden flirtatious remark. Her face went hot as the line between a friendly compliment and flirting was incredibly unclear to her. Was she just being nice? “Maybe it would.” She began, raising her hands, leaving the stain on full display. and tilting her head with a smile. “Would it help if I told you I think you’re really cute?” Kiyoko made a mental note to learn how to flirt later. The barista smiled, letting out an airy chuckle. “Well, it wouldn’t help the sweater I ruined, but it would help my ruined confidence.” She joked, looking at the ground. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed, it was my fault.” Kiyoko stated matter-of-factly, the girl looked at her like she had two heads. “Nope. It was my fault, cutie. I won't accept any other opinions.” She said with a wink - a wink that almost made Kiyoko fall over. Her knees were immensely weak, and she couldn’t tell if it was from the nickname, the wink, or both.

She sighed with defeat knowing not to debate with her any further. “Does it look like I just shit myself?” She asked with a laugh. The barista laughed with her, which only sorta, kind of, slightly, made her heart flutter. “Nah, more like someone shit on you.” She responded, scratching her chin in playful thought. “I’m seriously so sorry about that by the way. Let me make you another coffee, free of charge. Is there anything else I can do to help?” She asked, her words laced with genuine interest. She grabbed an empty cup, writing something on it before turning around and beginning to make her drink. Kiyoko waved her hands dismissively. “Don’t be sorry, accidents happen! - At least now I have an excuse to talk to you longer.” If she didn’t stutter her way through that sentence, it probably would’ve sounded way less pathetic. Unfortunately, Kiyoko felt she wasn’t anything but pathetic. She wasn’t aware of how it took everything in the barista not to get on one knee and propose to her at that very second. “You have a point. Maybe it’s a good thing I spilled it on you.” She chuckled, turning back around to face her again, handing her the new drink - carefully this time. 

“Um, this might be incredibly out of line, but could I maybe get your number?” She smiled nervously at Kiyoko. Normally, whenever a guy asked her for her number, it made her scoff and roll her eyes. But she was different, Kiyoko never nodded her head so enthusiastically in her life. “Yeah, of course!” She did little to hide the excitement laced in her words. The barista smiled the widest she’d seen that morning. Whispering a quiet “thank you,” she handed Kiyoko her phone, and she shakily typed in her number.

“Oh uh, I never got your name?” Through a smile, she responded, “it’s Y/n.”

“Y/n..” she repeated, handing her her phone back, “that’s a really pretty name. It suits you.” With every sentence it was as if their smiles grew tenfold; heightened by mutual happiness. “Thanks Kiyoko, your name is lovely too.” “Shimizu.” She corrected abruptly, y/n furrowed her brow in response. “Please, call me Shimizu.” she almost begged, craving to taste her name on her tongue. “Well then, Shimizu. It was lovely meeting you. I’ll stop bothering you and let you enjoy your coffee, for now.” She winked again, doing very little absolutely nothing to help convince Kiyoko she’s still straight. “For now?” She asked, confused. “Well I’ll definitely be texting you after my shift, so, for now, I will grant you peace and quiet.” She laughed her words out, to which Kiyoko reciprocated.

“I definitely won’t enjoy it when I could be talking to you instead.” Kiyoko took a sip from her drink. If she wasn’t sure then, the deliciousness of her coffee definitely confirmed just how in love Kiyoko was with her barista. She laughed, “Call me whenever you want someone to spill coffee on you. I’ve proven myself to be very good at that”

“Oh believe me, I will.”

[inloveinsickness]

congrats on 100 followers, you totally deserve it :D ˚✧₊⁎ if it’s still opened.. could i request osamu x reader as culinary school rivals??

❝ COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS ❞ — miya osamu

cw. gn!reader, culinary school!au, rivals to friends, fluff, language (reader has a bit of a potty mouth), onigiri miya is a family business, there’s just a slight tension between them, not beta read. word count. ~ 1.6k

getting locked out of your dorm isn’t the worst thing that can happen, until you have to call in a favour from miya osamu, your literal nightmare— or a blessing in disguise?

event masterlist

this is so stupid and would’ve been completely avoidable if you just slept even a little bit last night instead of staying up experimenting before heading for your morning class.

with a huff of annoyance and bleary bloodshot eyes from sleep deprivation and rubbing them in a desperate hope of waking yourself up from a half-asleep half-dead state, you rummage through your bag for the overloaded carabiner one more time for good measure, you’ll never know if it was just hidden in a pocket that you missed— nope never mind, it’s not there.

“fuck me.” slamming your palm on the door, you rest your forehead on the smooth hardwood doors of your dorm entrance and sigh, just my fucking luck.

you can picture it crystal clear, all the ingredients you’ve neatly laid out on the kitchen counter ready for you to prepare a quick lunch, and that damned mason jar of bottled gold. you spent the whole of last night and the ones before perfecting it and now it sits just outside of your reach, like the gods above playing a sick trick on you— except there’s no trick, just you being stupid and forgetting to bring your keys out that landed yourself in this predicament.

your frustration is immeasurable, you need that for a class later in the afternoon that weighs a hefty amount on your grade and you can’t afford missing out on it, you’ve spent so much time on it after all and refuse to give in. all this is making you want to run your hands through your hair and harshly tug, hoping that the sting would rouse you from this bad dream.

no one’s in the dorms right now, everyone’s either in class or the library, and the sweet old dorm lady’s out and about sourcing for ingredients in town; it’s restock wednesday.

you’re ransacking your brain, mentally going through a list of people you could possibly engage for help, mumbling under your breath so the pathetic silence doesn’t swallow you whole. it’s quiet aside from the birds overhead, their constant chirping grating to your ears, almost like they’re mocking you.

“i don’t have cash on hand to pay a locksmith.”

“i could ask noya to try picking the lock, but knowing him it’s more likely that he’ll break it.”

"could maybe try asking ukai? but that geezer will probably say no just to fuck with me."

there's no one else around or remotely in the area other than— oh hell no. his family restaurant is just off campus and wouldn't take too long for you to get there and back to class later but just the thought of needing help from that guy sickens you to the pits of your stomach. but beggars can't be choosers, and the you of today chooses the only option that will secure you your grade.

your last option is unfortunately, miya osamu — next in line to run onigiri miya, mister “i’m going to be the best in the academy”, always trying to one-up you, stupid grey-haired baseball cap wearing bane of your existence.

the trek there thankfully isn’t too long since your dorm is closer to the edge of campus, and the little diner just a stone’s throw away from the road leading to the academy gates. the small shopping district is pretty quiet at this time of the day, most middle and public high school kids still having classes and the salary men slaving their lives away at their desks in air-conditioned offices.

before long, you’re standing in front of onigiri miya, the warm lights from inside the store seeping out through the whites of the sliding door. taking a deep breath and bracing yourself to face him, you raise your fist and knock to announce your arrival and gently pull it open.

“i have to say, you’re the last person i expected to see walk through those doors willingly. this better be good.”

osamu stands with his arms crossed, clad in his usual black tee and matching hat, waist apron printed with the logo crest of onigiri miya. his eyebrows are raised in faux surprise, almost teasing as he gives your figure an up down with his trademark lazy patronising smile.

you scoff, walking past him and straight to the counter seats, placing your bag on the light wooden surface, “don’t flatter yourself miya, i’m not here to see you.”

shaking his head and turning around, he heads behind the counter and leans forward, resting on his forearms, “yeah? why else would you be here then?”

he’s close, a little too close and you take a step back, placing your hand atop his head and pushing him away, face warming up in embarrassment, “shut up.”

with a sigh, your reluctantly murmur the next four words, “i need your help.”

“i’m sorry, i didn’t quite hear you there, come again?” you desperately want to slap that shit eating grin off his equally handsome and annoying face, he definitely heard you and is messing with you, but what did you expect really?

raising your voice, you snarl, but the impact’s dulled with your inability to meet his eyes, “i said, i need your help, you little bitch.”

osamu chuckles, you’re cute. you must’ve been at your wits end to even bother coming to him for help.

he claps and rubs his hands together, “okay then, how can i be of service?”

you explain the situation at the expense of a few jabs and lighthearted insults from him, how so very childish. the plan is to recreate the concoction of a sauce that you made last night, current sitting in all its glory in the dorm’s kitchen, the same dorm that you’ve conveniently locked yourself out of. he agrees that it’s the most logical solution, seeing that you already know the proportions and just don’t have access to the ingredients, which he can provide his disposal at the restaurant.

he’s surprisingly focused and helpful, even with his provoking comments once in a while, studying your recipe and even making a few samples on the side with additions that he thinks might complement or enhance the flavour palate that you’re going for with your dish. you notice little things that you didn’t before— his tongue pokes out of his mouth when he’s in the zone, he furrows his eyebrows when processing a taste and the way his nose scrunches if it tastes a little odd.

as much as osamu’s existence pisses you off, you can’t deny that he’s good at what he does and completely justified in aiming for the top seat. he’s not arrogant, just extremely sure of himself and his abilities, a quality you wish you had in this competitively and highly individualistic field. what’s the point of someone having your back if you can’t have your own? some days, a little self-assurance goes a long way.

with a few last minute tweaks to your original proportions (courtesy of him), a new bottle of liquid gold sits in the palm of your hand, an even better version of what you had, if it was even possible.

nudging your shoulder with his, he looks over at you with an annoying smirk, “everyone say thank you osamu!”

“tch, shut up.” you roll your eyes, nudging him back with more force, enough to cause him to stumble over his feet as you bite back a laugh.

you eye the clock, there’s still plenty of time before your class begins and as you think about the lunch that you supposed to cook for yourself back at the dorms, your stomach lets out a series of gurgles, your face simultaneously flushing with embarrassment.

wordlessly, osamu begins whipping up something in the kitchen, a fresh fragrance hitting your senses and filling the air. as much as you hate to deny it, your mouth waters in anticipation and you bashfully shuffle behind him to peek at what he’s doing.

he just glances at you over his shoulder and juts his chin out in the direction of the counter seats, “sit down, i’m making you something to eat.”

raising your nose in mock defiance, you scoff, “who said i was staying for lunch?”

he just shoos you away with the wave of his hand and a mischievous glint in his eyes, “just let me make you something that’ll make you say it’s delicious, trust me.”

it’s been a running thing between the two of you since you met in a class and demanded to try his food after his grand declaration of being the top. you’re both prodigies in your own right, and you just wanted to see if the man could deliver as he spoke. don’t get it wrong, his dish was absolutely divine and brought you back to memories of your childhood home and running around in the backyard with dirt covered sandals chasing dragonflies, but you refused to admit that there was someone up to par, barely choking out an unconvincing, “tastes like shit.” before shoving your dish in his face.

it’s no different this time, and you’re unsure if it’s because of the calm and humble atmosphere of onigiri miya, the domesticity of watching him cook in the comfort of his home kitchen, or just how hungry you are, but all it takes is one bite before you start unabashedly scarfing down his delicious creation.

if he’s smug about it he doesn’t show it, choosing to savour the rare peace and quiet of non-bickering, but silently knowing that perhaps he has won this time. wiping the sweat off his brow, he leans against the staff doorway and watches you eat with a soft smile, munching on his own onigiri.

“hey, wanna walk to campus together?”

notes. wyr !! always a pleasure seeing you in my notifs !! ALSO CAN I JUST SAY, THE WAY I INTERNALLY SCREAMED WHEN I SAW YOUR REQUEST !! my mind went straight to food wars and this is heavily inspired by that < 3

© yogurtkags. please do not repost, plagiarise, or translate my work.

[yuri-is-online]

I kinda wanna hear more about Azul! Yutu if you are willing

Very. He is long overdue for a proper post. I'm going to skip over some of the stuff that happens while he is in the bad future as I am a big fan of what Archivist has been writing, and would encourage you to look at their posts (here, here, and here) They've been a huge inspiration for this ayuu and finally gave Yutu some friends! I am really really attached to them and their dynamics with the various Yutus and might have written some stuff where they hang out but didn't post it because idk if you folks would be interested...

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. You can find even more stuff for it on my masterlist under the series section.

Yuu started removing mirrors from the house when he was around nine. They did so slowly, and Yutu had been avoiding them for so long he barely notices when their gone. It's not like he was born hating himself, he remembers playing with Yuu in the garden hose or the bath tub and feeling... happy. But that was when he was a little kid, he's almost double digits now he shouldn't be feeling sick to his stomach about this. It feels hard to walk some days, like his balance is wrong and his body is made of the incorrect material. It isn't normal for a kid this young to hate his own bones because it is the bones isn't it? They're hard until their not hard enough and he's stuck in a cast for the summer. Yutu tries to be grateful it's on his arm and not his leg, but it doesn't keep his mind off of things. He feels unwhole every time he tries to walk, and he has no words to express what's missing other than to say he feels unsafe. And it's hard to say that when he knows there's no solution you can give him for what he's feeling. If you could cut off your own limbs to make him whole you would, but then that would leave him just as alone wouldn't it? The last cost Yutu wants to pay to fix himself is the life of parent who loves him.

But that's what the price ends up being. And as he lays there trying to scream only to be rejected by the air he'd spent so much time wasting as his body churns on the floor into the form he'd spent so much time dreaming of he has to wonder why he ever thought the outcome would be different. He should have known that he was never meant to be anything other than alone.

Yutu was a chunky baby, and for the first bit of his life no one minded that at all. He was so cute, Yuu had a bunch of pictures of their precious baby boy and even though there were questions about how he came to be those were sort of shoved to the side in favor of cooing over his cute nose and chubby cheeks. But the cooing turned to concern when he started having some problems reaching his developmental milestones; it took forever for him to learn how to walk, even when Yuu helped guide him through the motions it somehow just didn't seem to stick. Talking was difficult, he'd learned how easily enough but he just preferred not to, wanting to communicate through noises and looks instead. Yuu would try to calm their worries and focus on how he at least slept through the night, but they never did get a solid opinion on why Yutu was so slow to learn from any doctor they saw.

His slow development cause Yuu to really focus on going over his lessons with him at home, it fosters a love of learning in him that evolves as he grows. At first it's very innocent, his eyes are wide with childlike wonder at the world around him and his smile is as bright as his eyes. "Unfortunately" (because it's not truly unfortunate that his parent can still afford to feed him) he's still a chubby little boy, and one who is missing a parent so he's an easy target for his peers to isolate and tear into. He feels like a beached whale, or a dried up octopus, his self esteem is severely hurt as is his outlook on the world. Yuu feels like they are seeing a familiar sight when their child hiccups through recounting his day as they desperately try to hold back their anger and think of a way to deal with this logically.

"Your daddy went through this too." Yutu blows into the tissue you hold for him and tries to hide his surprise. He's always eager to learn about his father, you wish you could think of more to tell him but the words you're saying don't fully feel like you are thinking as you say them. It's like you are briefly being possessed by someone else, just that the "someone else" is... yourself from when you were whole. "He was really hurt by it, and he was one of the strongest people I knew. So it's ok if you need to cry about how you feel."

"I dooon't want to feel." He pushes his face up against your chest like he's a baby again trying to soothe his nightmare against yoru heartbeat and you squeeze him as tight as you can. "I want it to stop, can daddy tell me how to make it stop?" Your mind screams that however daddy handled it must have been bad, it turns to look at someone, you can just see the outline of him. He's handsome, well put together and he's... worried.

"I don't want them to be scared of everything; suspicious,̸̮͉͓͔͎̭̜̦̽̄̆̇̿̈́̍̉̽͌̍̕ͅͅ ̶̰̙͔̝͕̞͍̭͙͕̇͆͌̋̿̌͐̂̿͘̚͝y̷̨̪̳̳͉̮͚̅͗͗̽̔̂͐͌̽͠ę̶̩̣̤͚͎͔̯̖̭͐̃̏̓͐̾͐̓̎̇̅̊͐̕s̸͚̖͙̗̣̩̼͎̼͇̝͂̿̉̌͛̈͜ ̴͔̟̤̩̗̯̦̀͐̄̽̊͛͑͋͊͒̓̕͝b̵̧̧̡̰̪̫̤͔͚͕̝̠̹͈́̀̈́͌̄͋̔̿́̕͘ǘ̵̢̼͖̪̱͖̼̼͎̲͈͙͆̀̎͌̍̎̂͐͗̇͌̎̊̚ț̶̛͖̹͚̾̆̂͑̌̊̕ͅ ̴̢̛͇͙̱͇̝̺͇̗̫̘̥͛̀͊̅n̸̢̥͕͗̓e̴͙̹̹̘̮̫̦͐v̶̡̡̧̡̛͓̮̝̺̮̜̳̠̜̅͊̒̄̔͂̋͋͋̊̔̈́͆͘ë̷̟̳̲̰̗͉̬̘̘̣̳̼͙́̑͜ŗ̸̳̹̺͔̦͔̮̖̔͆̊̈́͆̈̔̊͠ ̶̧̢̩̺̗̗̲̠̬̰͇̣̦̈́͑͜͜p̶̱̗͔͔͌a̴̰͓̎͂̅̓̈̎͝r̶̯̰̪̟̾̾̓̂̈́͆̈̀̒̓̕͠ ̴͇̖͉̯̖̞͍͐́͊͛̐̂̐á̵̢͎̙͎́͝ ̸̨̙̞̙̩̮̺̦̻̗̭̩͉̱̠̐̓̿͘ń̷̡̡̡̧̨̪̜͕̠͐̄̉̐͝͠ő̸̥̹̣̙͛̏̏̃̋̍͝͠ḯ̶̢̛͍͔̯̤͊̈́̉̑̂̈̐͊̚̕ḋ̸̦̘̮͍͙̜͈̙͉͖̭͚̊͌͗̊̊̈̾̄͌ͅ ̵̛̛̠̫͙͎̘̣̘͕͗̒̈͒̓̅͊̔͘͝"

Yutu's silence brings you back to reality, he's mercifully fallen asleep against you and missed the aftershocks of your migraine. It's nothing new, but somehow this little scenario makes you feel that much more tired, and that much more alone.

I've mentioned it before but Yuu decides to enroll Yutu into martial arts classes as a way to help with his self confidence and the bullying. In my mind the end up doing it out of a worry that the bullying could get physical, and in the hopes that maybe Yutu will make friends with the kids in his class. It sort of works, Yuu enrolls them in a parent-child class and they certainly make some connections. Yutu finds some inner peace from the class, but his experiences at school make him very shy and keep him from truly opening up to the people around him. The friend groups he finds his way into never seem to fully accept him, a lot of it comes down to petty rivalries over sport and school. Yutu is smart sure, but he knows that no amount of talent makes up for hard work and he's a very hard worker. He's too proud to do something like throw a match or fail a test just for a little social acceptance, and not afraid to say as much.

That's not to say he doesn't want to be accepted, he does. He really deeply does he just doesn't think he could live if that acceptance was fake. Part of that, not that he ever tells Yuu this, is fueled by their descriptions of his father and of how much they loved him. If his dad was in the same position and found you then one day, he hopes, he'll find someone who accepts him too. And he'll make sure to stay alive and do all the little things with them they have ever wanted to do, no matter how out of his comfort zone or weird he finds them to be. Azul! Yutu is a bit of a hopeless romantic underneath his jock appearance, so he's one of the yutus that assumes his dad died in a tragic accident that left your memories in shambles. He's willing to fight people on that point, but Yuu made him promise not to and while he's fussy about listening to other people, he always listens to Yuu.

Which makes the trip between worlds that much harder on him. He might have been alone, but he wasn't exactly lonely. Not when he had a home to come back to and a parent who loved him, he could handle waiting for people who would accept him when he already had someone who did but now... It doesn't help that from his perspective he immediately does something stupid by getting put in Savanaclaw. Crewel already told him his dad was the dormleader of Octavinelle, that he was an exemplary student but not very... athletic so why would he be any different than anyone else. This isn't helped by the reception he gets from his dormmates. Yutu never starts fights, but he sure as hell finishes them and the amount of people left on the floor by the end of his first week makes everyone aware of that.

It earns him respect, and it would have immediately made him his first friend if he had been willing to take Sav at his word when he asked him to show him how he fought so well. Instead he insists on acting like Saitama and making the guy "prove" himself, something that Crewel watches from the sidelines with a weary expression. So his grandson wasn't lying, he really does take more after his dad than you.

He does not so much make other friends as they do make him theirs... two Heartslabyul students and an overly enthusiastic gamer from Ignihyde who sticks to him like a wet cloth and he hates the realization that he's worried about these guys. Sav, Thrush, Fiore, and... Mori. He loves these people. He hopes they never die, but everywhere he looks he sees omens. It hurts, he never knew he had three hearts or that he could fill them up with so much love that it wants to bleed out of him but he refuses to let it. He's learned that he's stronger than he ever thought possible, he'll squeeze a good outcome out of this, for you and for them it never had to be one or the other.

Traveling back in time and being separated from his friends terrifies him. Sav is always refusing to use his brain, what if he got lost because he decided not to read a sign somewhere? Fiore is a little shit and Thrush can't be assed to keep his brother in line what if they get thrown in jail and Yutu has to actively stop himself from thinking about Mori. The muscles in his chest go taut and he forgets to breathe until little black dots prick at his vision from all the ways things could go wrong for the self proclaimed "white mage of the FC party." The guy is just too much of a flight risk... he needs to fix this fast.

But does he? Having you alive again is like a dream, sure you're younger now and don't know him from a hole in the ground but he gets to see all of the memories he was so curious about. He's especially happy to have met Ace and Deuce, they remind him of his own Heartslabyul friends. His world feels a bit more full when he sits to eat a meal with you, guys who he guesses he'll probably end up calling Uncles at some point, and Grim. He's got mixed feelings about Grim, but the little guy really seems to like him now and it's funny to think about whether or not he's the older or younger brother. He's starting to remember what it's like to have a family again, speaking of which...

"Aww looks like you're a real dorm leader now ain't ya shrimpy?" Floyd's voice sounds fun, and it's all Yutu can do to keep from smiling. He instantly understands why Jade must have missed him so much, they looks alike but the difference in tempo is apparent from their stance and dress, and just looking at the younger version of his Uncle he can see how much more alive he feels.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Yutu was it?" Jade's smile suggests danger, he thinks the name is funny that's his guess. The glint in his eyes suggests he wants to tease, and Yutu prepares to make some comments of his own before he notices that his Uncle's attention is not on him but rather- "Floyd told us about your unexpected arrival," he has been avoiding this for so long he almost didn't see the familiar stranger next to Jade, the rest of his words are heard but not noted as he looks directly at his father for the first time. What a painful realization that is.

"Hey hey grouper, you ok?" Floyd's tone very much does not suggest worry but it brings him back to the present. Or would it be the past?

"Grouper? Might regret calling me that pool noodle. Yeah I'm fine, just surprised you came over here yourselves. I thought I was doing good keeping my nose where it belongs." Yutu swears Azul looks genuinely hurt for a second, but it disappears under his glasses and his patented grin.

"Well you certainty don't pull any punches do you?" If Yutu didn't know any better he'd assume his dad was... excited.

He is, he's very excited. Yuu is a kind hearted person and Azul loves them for it, but Yutu has some of that hater energy he knows he can work with. A second set of eyes on Yuu's world is just what Azul needs to win their ha- expand his business, so he keeps finding ways to talk to Yutu. He ends up learning a decent bit about him despite Yutu's best efforts: he's lying about his unique magic to catch people off guard when he uses it, he's not a muscle head nor does he take particular pride in his physique despite the intense amount of effort he puts into staying strong. It's interesting to watch the sort of things he likes to eat... sure a lot of it is healthy food but none of it is health food. That ends up being the first real conversation they have and it throws Yutu for a bit of a loop. It reminds him of that conversation he had with Yuu all those years ago when he was crying about being bullied. About how his dad gone through the same thing he did and suddenly his dad seems a bit more like a person and less like a shadow that's haunting him.

The way his dad looks at Yuu is breathtakingly soft. Azul is ambitious, talented, hardworking, and oh so desperate to impress that Yutu finds it hard to hear their doubts about the way he feels because he can see all of the signs clear as day about how Azul feels about Yuu. Uncle Jade's stories about how Azul was silly in his affections, the little ways he got excited when Yuu complimented him or how much of a show off he insisted on being around them are happening right in front of him and while he wonders about that little thing he always tried to avoid. The "could have been." Would his dad have agreed with Yuu's decision to enroll him in martial arts? Or would Azul have put him in a different school, would that even have been nessecary or would people be too afraid to make fun of his son? That promise Jade said Azul made to Yuu about never having to go hungry again... would he have kept it? Yutu never starved but he knows his parent did, what would Azul say if he knew? Would it break him? Would he even care?

These thoughts take a toll on Yutu. He can't keep pretending he isn't worried about his friends when he is trying to avoid thinking about his parent's relationship, and vise versa so he puts more effort into finding them. Thrush and Fiore are the easiest, they made their way to Craneport and established a base pretty quickly and are surprisingly not complete shits about him taking his sweet ass time to find them. Sav is though, the Scalding Sands is a long way away and getting him to Sage's Island proves to be tedious and expensive, of course he's going to complain and pick a fight when Yutu shows up again. He hates to admit it but it feels good to have his sparring partner back, it perks up his mood a tiny bit. But time beings to drag on with no signs of Mori, Yutu is getting more restless in his worries and clumsier in hiding where he's going. Sure he knows how to shake off a tailing eel, but an octopus? The only one he's ever known is himself.

Azul learns from his various contacts that Yutu has friends. He keeps his appearance under the hood, but his friend group is close and clearly working towards some sort of goal. None of the names he gets show up in any systems he has access to, Jade does his best to find a shred of evidence that these are people who exist and can't. It worries all three of the octotrio, this is a problem they need to get to the bottom of and fast. But before that can happen another one of those portals opens, this time outside Ramshackle Dorm while Azul is trying to spend some precious alone time with you. And the thing that comes out of it is terrifying.

The blot phantom is unlike anything Azul has ever seen, not in a textbook or in person. It's a misshapen mass of a person, clothing real but foul smelling and stained with ink.

"Use my phone to call the twins and get out of here as fast as you can." Azul doesn't like his chances alone, but he likes yours even less. You don't run, it brings just a bit of a smile to his face, but you still call Jade as Azul weaves ice around it's legs to try and keep it down. The monster howls squirming against the ice and screaming at him like he should understand what it's talking about. Azul tries to stare it down, tries to appear like he's a mage that belongs on the front lines and not a support. The best support but still, he's slow. Too slow to dodge the vine that whips out of the creature's back and speeds towards his heart but fast enough to catch the scream that tears from Yutu's throat.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY DAD YOU FUCKING PIECE OF TRASH!" Eight cosmic tentacles rip out of the ground and tear into the monster, Yutu's chest is heaving with the strain of bringing his full strength to bear as Azul pauses to collect himself. As Yutu finishes off the monster he goes over what he knows, looks at the boy in front of him and traces parts of himself in him and forgets his previous plans to expose him to Yuu as a fraud. When his child looks back at him, disguise knocked off and fear clear on his face the reason for the previous distance Yutu has been trying to maintain suddenly makes sense. Before Azul overblotted he was quiet. There's a similar quiet over him now, a similar look of tense surprise, but Yutu- no- his child doesn't know that. His child is looking at him in fear, in worry for his reaction or his safety he doesn't know but he knows the way those tears start to form. Azul knows the quiver of the lip and the shriek, of all the things he could have passed on to such a treasure.

"You deserved better from me." Because it's true. He might think of himself as a work in progress but he still thinks he has quality; he would have done research, read every book he could get his hands on, taken classes, anything he would need to do to be a good father, a worthy partner. Anything. "You deserved to have the world within your grasp, not whatever shadow of a future and a father I left you with. I am so sorry." He does not expect Yutu to grab him and hold him like he's still somehow worthy of his love, but Azul can't fight the urge to grab back, to stroke his son's hair and let the tears fall on his suit without any care at all. I'm here. It's ok, daddy's here, daddy's got you, he won't let anything happen to you.

Azul likes to make plans. He planned how he would confess to Yuu (it did not go as planned but he still planned it) and he has clear ideas about the future he wants to have with them. Yutu was already a part of it, he's dreamed of having somewhere safe and full of love to come home to since he realized what his feelings for Yuu were. So to see that dream come to life, to have it crying in his arms about how someone else corrupted it into a nightmare and stole what he'd worked so hard to earn- Oh Azul is a petty and vindictive little bitch once he has gotten his own tears out of his system. He's extremely proud of all the work Yutu has already done towards ending the bad future, and while he is disappointed that he didn't think to ask for his help he is understanding. If he was in Yutu's position he doesn't know how he'd react, but he could see himself making similar choices.

He insists on having a family dinner so he can get to know all of the real things about Yutu from him instead of just observing them. He wants the three (and a half since Grim's there too) of you to cook together and just talk before getting down to the sad business that's brought Yutu here. Some of it's instinct to feed his child, but mostly he wants to prove to his son that he's worthy of being his father. That you chose him out of everyone for a reason, something Yutu sort of knows already but he's wanted to have his father in his life for so long that he plays up his nerves just a little bit so he can be spoiled by him.

Azul's reach is long, and combined with the twins finding where Mori is should be much easier. What worries Azul is the bad future and the little information Yutu tells him about how it started. He's never had any real reason to doubt what he knows about overblots, or to distrust the Headmage, or to think Grim could kill him. But if the world ends the economy does too, and he is not about to die before he's achieved everything he's been dreaming of. His ambition is almost scary, but Yutu can't bring himself to be afraid. This version of his father is the nicest one he's seen yet, and if it means anything to anyone, he'd like to keep him just as much as Azul wants him too.

[coraniaid]

Vaguely on the topic of Jenny and the whole vengeance deal with Angel, I know Anya spends very very little time on the show concurrently with Angel (off the top of my head I can only think of them maybe sharing scenes in the Bronze in Doppelgangland and I assume he could've been there in Graduation Day when she's explaining the Ascension deal but I couldn't say if they'd ever spoken a word to each other. Maybe she was one of the many people who he talked to in that decidedly not good Thanksgiving episode if she was even in it), do you know if Anya ever expresses her expert opinion with like a milennia spent wreaking vengeance on people under her belt on the whole Angel curse thing? And if not how would she fall on it? I'm torn between her either admiring how miserable it made him for so long or thinking its stupid and they should've just turned him into a giant worm instead that'd teach him and he wouldn't have been able to kill people again.

Yeah, Anya and Angel are both at the Bronze early on in Doppelgangland when vamp!Willow shows up (but don't interact at all: Angel leaves to get help before Anya introduces herself to that other Willow) and they're both back at the Bronze for the final big fight (but also, I think, do not interact then). I don't think they interact at all in Graduation Day either (Anya delivers her news about the Ascension during the day, so Angel wouldn't have been around even if he and Buffy hadn't broken up already, then she leaves town well before Angel shows up for the battle against the Mayor). I don't remember if they interact in Pangs and I refuse to rewatch that episode to check.

I don't know if Anya (or any other vengeance demon) ever talks about the curse, but it feels like they should? D'Hoffryn gives Willow the whole recruitment spiel to try to convince her to become a vengeance demon in Something Blue, and he never mentions that her very first bit of magic was to curse somebody? Innocence has Enyos give the whole spiel about how for him "vengeance is a living thing", and then we meet multiple vengeance demons -- characters who are literally vengeance as a living thing -- and none of this gets called back to?

I suspect a show other than Buffy -- one that cared more about internal worldbuilding logic and having a tightly crafted consistent mythos (a worse show, in other words) -- would have been very tempted to retcon Angel's original curse as somehow involving Anya or Halfrek or some other vengeance demon we later met. Honestly, maybe the should would have done this anyway if Angel hadn't gotten his own spin-off and had still been around in Sunnydale when the idea of multiple vengeance demons became established.

(Or maybe they'd still have avoided it, on the grounds it would make the different way the show treated Anya becoming human and Angel getting a soul a bit too glaringly obvious.)

That said, I think that on balance Anya would not approve of this particular curse. As you suggest, I think it's a bit too needlessly subtle for her. We know Anya likes big, flashy wishes with immediately obvious consequences. This is, I'd argue, one of the very few things about Anya's characterisation that's been consistent from the beginning: she talks about the world of The Wish being "exciting" and "wonderful"; she tells approving stories about women wishing their husbands' heads would explode (in Graduation Day) and we know she likes physical transformations like boils in unfortunate places or unlikely diseases or turning unfaithful men into trolls or, as you say, turning them into a big worm.

I think she'd find the whole Angelus thing kind of needlessly pretentious, especially when she found out about the happiness loophole. "Well, he's just making himself miserable, anybody can do that. Oh, it's poetic, is it? I see. So, are we supposed to be impressed? And ... look, the curse broke and he started killing again. Typical shoddy amateur work, no finesse at all. This is why if you want vengeance done right you should call up a professional. You know, if you'd just stuck with the classics and made his head explode when you had the chance your life would have been a lot simpler. Longer, too."

[notetaeker]

Hello!!! How did you become so dedicated to your studies? Do you have some advice?

I love your blog, btw✨️

Hi hi hi!! Thanks for the sweet message 💞💞

My BIG study tips (after 25 years of studying):

Accept your fate. This goes for anything but I used to procrastinate with studying a LOT and once you start it's actually not that bad. It's guaranteed. Automatically once you start, you have started, so you're already on your way, so it's already automatically not as bad anymore. Whining abt ur studies and avoiding them will not make them go away unfortunately. Just do it.

Make study time sacred. A few minutes of focused study is much more valuable than 5 hours spent at the library "studying" + scrolling + talking to friends + listening to music at the same time. Doing 5 hours like that is literally putting yourself thru hell because 1. you cant fully enjoy any of those non-studying activities and 2. you come out of that being like ugh I studied this page for 5 hours I'm tired of studying I need a break. Pomodoro method really changed my life pls try it out if u haven't already

That one tumblr post that says 'learning is basically being exposed to the same materials many times in multiple ways' is 100% correct. How many different ways can you expose yourself to the material. Memorizing facts- can you draw it? Can you organize the facts into lists? Can you attach a funny story to one of the facts? The more ways you interact with any material, the stronger it's saved in your memory. Find out if you're a visual learner- and then create visual tools, maybe color coding things helps you. Do a little digging and find out what works for you.

Diversify your life. Have some hobbies, spend time with friends/family, take a break. Let the computer of your brain sort out things in the background while you do other things. Once you go back to studying, you will feel refreshed (and not fatigued from 5 hrs in the library doing "studying") This also means that if you fail an exam, you won't be like 'oh no i spent my whole spring break studying for this exam and didn't even enjoy it and now I got a bad grade i must be horrible my life is nothing' and spiral. def not based on a true story :) Instead you'll be like yeah I failed but look at this scarf I crocheted look at mee i have mental health!

Sleep is magic- no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. 1. If you studied something during the day, just review those things right before bed and magically they will get set into your brain. Also 2. sleeping is when our brain sorts info so if you don't get any sleep at all it' the same as taking your study sheets and throwing them into the air, so when you ask your brain for the info during the test it's like lol it's around here somewhere. On the other hand, if you slept and gave ur brain time to sort it, when you ask for that info, it'll just open the right drawer and give u the info!

That's it for the big ones- if you want more specific advice feel free to ask! Also as a disclaimer, these 5 are all big life lessons that I had to learn thru trial and error, so consider these to be the advice I would give myself at a younger age. Pls don't be offended lol whenever I said 'you' I rlly was thinking abt myself.

[draconess-tania]

Human / vampire (Candy x Priya)

Note: written for day 3 of Dykecember. time is relative anyways (also I'm experimenting with a new way to format my fics, don't mind me) Words: 795 Candy's P. O. V.

What is a vampire? In popular legend, a vampire is a creature, often fanged, that preys upon humans, generally by consuming their blood.

‘Okay, I didn’t get any smarter, thank you Britannica’ I murmured to myself, looking up from my laptop’s screen to take a glance at my girlfriend’s face. 

When Priya had called me up to say that she had become a vampire somehow, I first ended the call, rolling my eyes at her bad sense of humor. Then she called me back, almost hysterical. 

I quickly realized it wasn’t a joke. 

We spent the previous hour at Rosa’s place, trying to calm Priya down, and surfing the web for any useful info. Unfortunately, everything we had found was about ‘adult’ vampires. Not a word about someone freshly turned into one. 

“Did you find anything?” 

Priya tried her best to mask her voice, but it was clear that she was very afraid. 

“Uh no, not yet. The best I found was an article detailing vampire diet. Apparently, you don’t necessarily need blood. Anything red is good for you.” 

She didn’t reply, just laid down on the couch, covering her face with her palm. I closed my laptop to walk over to her. 

Rosa left a little earlier to drop off Thia at Alexy’s, and Leigh was gone the whole week to visit Lysander. Priya and I had some time for ourselves. 

“Hey” I sat down next to her. “We’re going to figure it out, okay? I’m sure you’re not the only one with this problem. Worst case scenario, we will consult Stephenie Meyer.” 

“Urgh, I don’t really appreciate your jokes.” Priya turned over to her other side, with her back to me, but didn’t pull away when I started caressing her side. 

“It’s not the end of the world anyways. If the legends are true, you will be exceptionally fast and powerful, you will live for much longer than otherwise, you will be immune to pretty much any disease. I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s a bad deal.” 

“Haha. You forgot about not being able to stand in the sun or eat garlic. Not to mention the crosses.” 

“That’s not a problem, we don’t live in Italy.” 

I spoke without thinking, but I reached my goal: Priya laughed – for the first time during the evening. 

“Thank you. Your support means a lot to me. Really.” 

She turned towards me a little to look in my eyes while speaking, but then quickly diverted her gaze. Her expression turned sour, almost regretful. If she had been sad or angry, I would have understood that, but this...? 

“What’s wrong?” 

“What isn’t?” She chuckled, not answering my question. 

“No, but... really.” 

She sat up, but still avoiding looking at me. 

“It’s just... if I stay this way, and the myths are true, I’m supposed to drink blood, aren’t I?” 

Her fingers found their way to the hem of my shirt and started playing with it. 

"Well, yes...” 

“Well... I don’t know how to phrase it, but I started feeling this strange pull towards you. Of course, I always found you ravishing, but it seems that whatever change is going on inside me, it also affects how I look at you...” 

While talking, Priya shifted her position on the couch to lean in my direction. Her fingers stopped fidgeting with the fabric of my shirt and instead rested on my sides. I felt my cheeks burn. We have been together for more than four years now – we had kissed, seen each other without clothes and made love multiple times. And yet, in this moment, I felt that we had never been so vulnerable in front of each other ever before. 

She got closer, lowering her head, making its way to my neck. If I had really wanted to, I would have been able to stop her, to move away – but I didn’t. I tilted my head to give her better access and braced myself for what was coming. 

I hadn’t noticed that Priya’s teeth got sharp already, but now they pierced through my skin with relative ease. I clenched my jaw, not to give away the pain I felt – if this is what it takes for Priya to feel better, so be it. 

While she was feeding on me, pictures flooded my mind. Her arrival at Sweet Amoris High School; her kiss with Iris that awakened previously unknown feelings, but mostly jealousy in me; our reunion in university, and the rebirth of our friendship that slowly changed into something deeper. 

I loved her, and I knew she loved me too, more than anything. When she finally lifted her head from my neck, wiping her mouth, I knew that now we were tied together more tightly than I ever thought possible.

Dykecember challenge

[sketchy-rosewitch]

Play With Me Like a Child: Carly Jones x Bo Sinclair

Warnings: Carly and Bo are both 18, PinV, fingering, Bo somewhat being Bo, (anything else I missed please tell me)

A/N: Day 3! day 3 day 3 day 3! dayyyy 3! I changed this idk how many times and landed on Carly x Bo so now y’all get this!

Haunted Hoedown Masterlist

Day 3

Previous: Anything for You: Corey Cunningham x afab!gn!reader

Next: ai!android!Captain Denninger x afab!gn!reader

The school bell rings and Carly is quick to get up and make her way to her locker to grab the rest of her things.

Nick told her not to wait up on him, he and Dalton were going to be hanging out tonight. Carly took this chance at lunch to ask Paige is she wanted to hang out. Unfortunately her and Blake were going on a date tonight.

Which means Carly is going to be alone. She hasn’t been alone on a Friday night since her freshman year. But last week changed everything. Her and Wade finally had a serious talk about him coming to New York with her.

Wade didn’t take it well, he spent the whole year trying to avoid this talk knowing sooner or later it’d have to come. Last week was when it came and Wade tried so hard to get Carly to stay and Carly tried so hard to get Wade to go. They couldn’t come to a conclusion and it ended in their break up.

The whole school caught on quickly to it, but that wasn’t saying much as their class alone was only 75 students. Still, it was embarrassing. Everyone and their mother thought Wade and Carly would never break up, that they’d be High School Sweethearts. Now that they weren’t together anymore she could hear whispers of people wondering if true love really did exist.

Did Carly and Wade really set the bar that high?

The dirty blonde girl sighs as she frustratingly opens her locker. She puts the text books she doesn’t need away and pulls out homework she didn’t finish in class that she’d have to do over the weekend. One more month of this shit, then she was free.. until September that is, but even then it’s be a whole new set of work.

“Carly.”

The teen jumps slightly and looks to her right. Her eyes roll to the back of her head and she slams her locker shut.

“What do you want Sinclair?” She looks at him with her brow raised. The brunet has a crooked smile on his face. Carly knows how charming it is, but so does every other girl at this school.

“Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out tonight.” He replies, shrugging nonchalantly. Carly maneuvers around him and makes her way to the school’s entrance.

“Why would I wanna hang out with you?” She asks, not even trying to hide her annoyance. The oldest Sinclair brother catches up to her and begins to walk at a similar pace as Carly.

“Cause you don’t have anything better to do.” He answers, Carly glares up at him, making Bo snort. “Listen, I don’t have anything better to do either. You’re free, I’m free. I’m single, you’re single. We can go out tonight. Everything is on me.”

“Are you serious? A week after I’ve been broken up with and you wanna ask me out?”

Bo stops in his tracks and laughs stupidly at himself. “Shit, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that.”

Carly is quick to turn around. “What did you mean by it then? Huh? You think this is some joke?” Her face turns red from embarrassment and anger. Instead of Bo getting pissed back at her, he holds his hands up.

“No, hun, I just think you need to have a fun night out is all. Relax a bit.”

The teen takes a deep breath and looks down. “Fine. But none of your, ‘Sinclair funny business’.”

“Anything for you. I’ll pick you up at 6.”

-

A truck horn honks loudly outside of Carly’s house making her cringe. Of course Bo had to let everyone in Ambrose know that Carly Jones was hanging out with him.

She grabs her satchel with money and her phone and walks downstairs. “Who’re you hanging out with?” Her mom asks. It’s not suspicious, yet Carly’s heartbeat picks up pace.

“Just Paige.” She smiles and goes to hug and kiss her mom on the cheek. Her mom would murder her if she found out she was actually hanging out with a Sinclair boy.

“Okay, well. Have fun tonight and be careful!”

The teen nods her head and leaves the house. Bo’s truck blasts heavy metal music and if Carly’s mom had come out here. She would’ve known right away her daughter was lying to her.

Nervously the girl opens the passenger’s door and she gets in. Her classmate turns down the music and starts to back out of the driveway.

“You look good.” He comments as he drives down the small town roads. She looks at Bo who wears a flannel with rolled up sleeves and jeans.

“You too. Your uh-hair is nice.”

God, why is she so nervous. This isn’t a date, she literally grew up with him too.

Bo smirks and combs his fingers through his curls. “Thanks.”

“So, where are we going tonight?” Carly asks, her fingers fumble with a loose string on her shirt.

“There’s a lake a few miles out. Figured we could shoot some cans and talk for a bit. Brought picnic shit too.”

“Mmm, you sure this isn’t a date?” Carly teases. She doesn’t mean to be but she ends up sounding more annoyed than playful when asking the question.

Honestly what he was taking her to do sounded a lot more fun than doing homework. It actually sounded more fun than what Wade usually had planned. A movie of some sort, it was always one in town, one at his house, or one of those drive-ins. Those would get so boring after so long and it wasn’t like they did anything together. Any advances she made would get brushed off.

“It’s whatever you want it to be.”

Bo parks the truck under some trees and gets out, Carly following close behind him. He grabs his shotgun and a bag and the two of them start to walk into a large field.

“Over by the peach tree.” Bo points. “I found this spot years ago, I take my brothers here sometimes. I’m surprised no one else has found it yet.”

“Why bring me here then?” Carly asks.

“You won’t tell anyone. Paige is just as city girl as you are so why would she come out here? Nick hasn’t hung out with you in years and Wade.. well ya know.” Bo explains, he sets down his gun against the tree and drops the bag next to it.

“Well why aren’t your brothers here?” Carly yells, Bo is yards away setting up the cans again, he glares at Carly but she doesn’t back down from her question when he doesn’t answer.

She flops down in a shitty lawn chair as Bo comes back up.

“Nuh-uh-uh. You’re up first.” Bo gestures his hands towards himself, he grabs his shotgun and hands it to Carly.

Carly looks down at it and then over at Bo. “I’ve never-“

“God, you really are a city girl.” Bo teases, his signature crooked smile comes in his face. Carly’s stomach churns and her face gets a bright pink in embarrassment.

“I’m not, I grew up with you Sinclair! I just never learned how to shoot a gun.” Carly grumbles. Her grip tightens defensively on the barrel of the gun.

“Well that’s just bad parenting. Come on. I’ll teach ya.”

Carly and Bo walk so they’re facing towards the old shitty fence with the cans on top of it. He takes the gun from Carly’s hands and sets it down. “Do this.” Bo crosses his arms but holds his elbows up and Carly mimics Bo. She watches closely as Bo takes his hand and pokes next to her shoulder but below her collar bone. “Gonna want the butt of the gun right here. It’s gotta be comfortable.” He says. “Your feet like this.” One toe faces forward and the other is pointed right slightly. Again Carly mimics Bo, not wanting to fuck anything up and get herself or even him killed. “Good.”

The teen’s heart swells but she shuts down the emotion immediately. Bo hands her the gun and puts her hands where they need to be, the emotions she feels for Bo coming right back up as if she didn’t just get out of a relationship just last week.

“Gotta keep both eyes open. Right eye stares right down the barrel.”

Carly nods her head. The brunet goes behind her and looks at her stance. She feels his eyes wandering, making her gulp. “If you think this is some way to check me out you have another thing coming, cause who’s the one with the gun Sinclair.” Carly’s tone is defensive. She’s scared, she can’t fall in love again, not when she’s going to be leaving this small town and especially not when it’s Bo Sinclair, who is far worse than any man out there.

Except if he’s so bad, why’d she go somewhere with him… alone.

“I ain’t gonna do shit, I’m makin’ sure you’re not gonna hurt yourself. Geez.” Bo sighs. She can tell he’s shaking his head at her. “I want you aiming at that rusty can in the middle.”

Carly listens her eye focuses on the can. “Safety off.”

She turns it off and shoots, the bullet hits just below the can. Into the wood of the fence. She aims again, this time higher and shoots. The can knocks down.

“Hell yeah!” Bo whistles with his teeth excitedly. “There we go!” Carly’s adrenaline picks up and she blushes.

The two manage to shoot cans for a couple of hours before they sit down and eat dinner.

“Ain’t much but it’s what I make Vincent and Les when we come out ‘ere.” Bo says biting into the chicken salad sandwich he made. Carly takes a bite too and leans back in the lawn chair.

The sun is starting to set, she looks at it then over at Bo. “Why didn’t they come?” She can’t help but ask about his brothers again, Bo’s quiet. She knows he’s reluctant to answer.

“Vincent’s getting caught up with the Wax Museum and Les made some friends of his own.” Bo replies. Carly nods in acknowledgment. “Is it true why Wade broke up with you?” Bo asks, he finishes up his sandwich and takes a sip of his beer which Carly never commented on.

“You mean him not wanting to go to New York with me? Yeah.” She answers, honestly up until now she forgot about Wade’s existence. She didn’t feel anything towards him anymore. Originally she was sad but now, who cares? He was never going to change his mind and she should’ve known that from the beginning of their relationship Freshmen year.

“He’s fuckin’ dumb.”

Carly furrows her brows and looks at Bo. “How so?”

“Because, he had one chance to get the hell outta here. Honestly if my girlfriend asked me if I wanted to go to college with her, I would’ve! Ambrose doesn’t provide shit. You get a whole new life away from this place and he takes it for granted.” Bo rants, he’s now standing up and pacing, Carly shrugs.

“Yeah, guess he wasn’t feeling it.” Carly mumbles, Bo looks at her.

“He didn’t deserve you. Fuckin’ hope you know that.” He huffs and shakes his head. Carly finishes her sandwich and chugs down her water.

“Yeah and that’s why I broke up with him Sinclair. Let’s just, forget about it, okay?”

The boy nods his head and takes another sip of his beer. Carly looks up at the peach tree and looks to see a single peach hanging from a branch.

“I can get it for you, if you want it.”

Carly feels how close Bo is behind her.

“Oh no! I was just-“

Bo drops his beer bottle on the dirt and climbs into the tree impulsively. Carly gasps.

“Bo! Get down here, I don’t want you hurting yourself!” She squeaks. On the ground she follows Bo as he walks and crawls to the branch where the ripe peach hangs.

“Oh god, please it’s not even that far of a drop!” Bo shakes the branch with his legs making all sorts of reactions come from Carly. Bo chuckles and before she knows it, Carly has to stop because of the water. Bo reaches up to grab the peach and smirks once he does grab it and shows it off to Carly. She nervously plays with her dirty blonde hair.

“See, nothing to be afraid of.”

“Okay, stop showing off and get back down here!” Worry still laces the girl’s voice. It had every right to as she hears the tree branch snap and then a large SPLASH. She gasps and runs towards the water. “BO?!”

Quickly she toes off her boots and jeans and jumps into the water. It’s not to shallow and not to deep, but with the sun setting it was harder to see what was underneath.

Bo come up before Carly can fully give under. He wears a goofy smile and it still holding the peach for Carly. The fort blonde huffs at the brunet. “You’re not funny! I told you to be careful!” She starts to walk out of the water and grabs her clothes and boots. Bo comes out after her.

“I was very careful! And I got your peach. Bo combs his hair back and out of his face and Carly glares at him. He makes it really hard with how he’s looking at her, she really wants to smile but she still is a little pissed.

Bo waves the peach in her face and she takes it, biting into it. The juice falls from her lips, down her chin and onto her chest. She wipes her mouth and raises a brow holding the peach out for him to take a bite from. He eyes her and takes it, biting the same amount she did and feeling as the sticky nectar drips down his chin too. Carly takes another bite, but this time from his hand and he finishes it off.

When Bo done chewing he grabs Carly’s face and kisses her deeply. Her lips and his both tasting like the fruit they just ate. Carly doesn’t even hesitate, she knows what she wants. Her fingers entangle in Bo’s wet hair and she lets out a small moan.

“Let’s-let’s go back to my truck.” Bo mumbles breathlessly. Carly nods and everything is quickly packed up as the last part of the sun sinks under the horizon.

Bo chucks the bag and gun in the bed of the truck before opening the hatch and lifting Carly onto it. Messily he kisses and licks at Carly’s jaw, his wet clothes getting thrown off in the process. He easily unclips Carly’s bra and she slips it off. When Bo’s hands reach her panties though both of them stop, panting and staring into each others eyes.

“Do you-“

“I’m a virgin.”

Bo backs up and looks at her. “You’re tellin’ me Wade had one of the prettiest girls in Ambrose and he didn’t fuck her once?” He growls. Carly nods her head.

“Got on birth control cause he said he wanted to. He never took my advances though so I never asked.”

“Such a goddamn cuck.” Bo rolls his eyes. Cary laughs which makes Bo smile. “Do you want me to?” His face drops into something genuine and it makes Carly happy.

She looks away but then back at Bo. “Yeah. I’m sick of waiting.”

Bo is slow with her. He grabs her hips and pulls down her panties. He stairs at her dark and hairy mound and almost drools, his thick sigh it’s dipping between her legs and pushing into her. She feels her pussy stretch and grabs onto Bo’s arm.

It feels good, so much better than her own fingers.

Bo’s thumb circles her clit lightly causing Carly to squirm and let out a tiny squeal. He leans down and kisses her cheek. “So tight. Gonna take good care of you.” He promises. Carly nods, her mouth wide open yet she’s unable to speak as his fingers curl in her. Wet noises come from her pussy as he pleasures her and she lets out breathy moans.

“God, I wanna fuck this pussy. This is a good pussy. So goddamn tight.” Bo growls into her ear and bites on her jaw lightly.

He pulls his fingers out and sucks on them as he adjusts himself, getting ready to fuck into Carly.

Carly looks at his huge cock then up into Bo’s blue eyes.

“Don’t worry. I don’t wanna hurt ya. I’ll be slow.”

Slowly Bo slides into Carly and she arches her back. Both of them letting out loud moans. She takes his face in her hands and pulls him down, kissing him messily. Without warnings Bo starts to grind into Carly.

The dirty blonde doesn’t care, she rolls her hips into him and lets out soft pants. Bo’s cock stretches her out with every thrust. Bo kisses and licks her neck gripping onto her hips trying to get more leverage. The truck creaks and groans underneath them.

“You feel so good around me. Squeezin’ me just right city girl.”

The nickname causes Carly’s pussy to pulsate around Bo making him groan more and almost fall on top of her. He keeps thrusting, his hand moves up and thumb caresses her nipple before he pinched it lightly. Carly yelps in surprise which signals Bo not to stop.

Carly’s legs start to shake as she feels her stomach tighten and she starts to sweat.

“I’m gonna cum. Please.” He pinches her nipple again.

“Fuck, yeah you are. You gonna cum around my cock? You gonna let me cum in you?”

Bo’s nose nuzzles against Carly’s cheek and he gives her a wet kiss. She nods and Bo smirks.

“Gotta hear you say it.”

Carly moans and Bo slows down slightly.

“Come on. Then you can cum.”

Carly wiggles trying to get more friction but Bo’s hands hold her in place. “Fuck.. fuck Bo just cum in me! Make me yours!” Carly screams, Bo starts up his pace again and it takes Carly right over the edge. Her back arches as her pussy spasms. She lets out high pitched squeals and cries into the night sky.

Bo falls over the edge rig after her. He bucks repeatedly into her pussy, filling her up just right. He grunts and falls onto her.

“Fuck you felt so good.” He sounds out of breath.

Bo looks at Carly and caresses her face, moving her sweaty hair out of it. He slides out of her causing her to whine. “Sorry, I gotta get you cleaned up.” He says, getting up, he grabs his flannel and wipes her pussy clean. He then pulls Carly back on top of him and the two lay there like that. The night air feeling warm against their skin.

“Do you wanna come to New York with me?”

Carly lets out a small gasp, no, she didn’t mean to ask Bo that. Not at all. No, that’s embarrassing, she tries to get up, but neither Bo or her own body let her.

Instead she hears Bo laughing, she can tell his nose is scrunched up.

“Ask me again in August. I think it’s too soon for you to think you’d wanna room with me.”

Carly opens her mouth to speak but shuts it again and nods. Bo plays with her hair and kisses her head a few times. The two lay there almost all night talking about everything and anything which each other. Catching up on all those years they despised each other.

[theflyingfeeling]

Fifth Day of Gift-Giving: Fights (and Reconciliations)

Prompt(s): It had all just been a big misunderstanding and after finding that out, all they could do was laugh or... something else 😏

Today's piece is a standalone unrelated to the previous parts (because, being a hopeless conflict-avoider myself, I just couldn't make the Olli and Allu in that story have a fight of any sort; all the pining is plenty enough suffering for them, don't you agree? 🤧). Even this one is less about the fight and more about the reconciliation, I hope you enjoy (rated M for you pleasure) 😌💞

~

Olli stared at the empty bag. Where there used to be a perfectly balanced, hand-picked selection of the finest Finnish pick & mix candy that were supposed to last him the whole tour, there was now but a sad pile of sugar left. He closed his eyes and attempted to counted to ten, but reaching eleven, his blood was still boiling, so he decided to keep going until he'd stop clenching his fists and maybe come up with at least some level of adult reaction to this unfortunate event – in the end, it was just candy. It's not like he had suffered great economical loss or profoundly traumatic, unforgivable abuse; that being said, he was still pretty damn bitter about having spent the whole day looking forward to keeping his brain buzzing with some sugar in between the soundcheck and the show, only to peek in his bunk and find his secret stash exceptionally candyless.

He had only one suspect: the only other person in their midst who knew of the secret stash.

Olli supposed he had only himself to blame, however; he was famililar with Aleksi's sweet tooth. Yet, in his moment of weakness (that is, lost in the man's blue eyes and the magic his hand was perfoming on Olli's cock the other night), he had revealed the nook of his bunk bed in which he kept the goodies hidden from sight. Even during their afternoon nap the day before, they had hid the small plastic bag in between them, popping a piece of salmiak or a chocolate button in their (or each other's) mouths every now and then in between cuddles and giggles. Now, Olli realised letting Aleksi that close had been an evident mistake.

"Ale?"

"Hmmmmh?" the man replied from the lounge.

"Come here for a sec."

"What for?"

"Just...," Olli inhaled and exhaled, still trying to find the words that wouldn't completely blow the whole incident out of proportion, "just come here. There's something I want to ask you."

A subtle groan sounded from the lounge (the audacity), and with lazy, dragging steps, hair mishevelled, hands in his pockets, and mouth stretched in a yawn, Aleksi appeared next to him.

"What?" Aleksi mumbled.

You're lucky you're so fucking cute, Olli thought at the sight of him. A bastard, but a cute one.

Olli steered his gaze back to the crime scene, determined to not let Aleksi's endearing appearance distract him.

"It's empty," he growled instead.

"Häh?"

"You ate my fucking candy!" Olli spat out his words.

"The fuck are you on about, dude?"

"The fuck am I–" Olli had to pause to take inhale again, failing at keeping his cool. "The fuck are you about, eating other people's food like an animal?!"

"Someone's eaten your candy?"

"Yes, YOU DID!"

"What? No I fucking didn't! Why do you think it was me?"

"Because no one else knows about the candy but you!"

"Are you sure though? It's not easy to keep secrets around here, you know, all packed up in this bus like herrings in a barrel. Eventually someone else was ought to–"

"Oh my god, Aleksi, why can't you just admit it was you?"

"BECAUSE IT WASN'T!"

"The hell are you two squabbling about down there? I'm trying to have a nap!"

The two of them were startled by Niko's head appearing from a bunk above them. Until then, it didn't occur to Olli that others may have caught up on their argument, let alone that someone may have been trying to sleep through it.

"Oh, fuck, sorry. Olli's just a bit wound up over his–"

"Ooh, yeah, I'm so unreasonably wound up alright, because Aleksi's gobbled down all my fucking–"

"Jesus, Olli, get hold of yourself, it was me!"

Olli was already prepared for another string of accusations against Aleksi when Niko's words hit him and he was left with his mouth gaping open at the unexpected twist.

"Yeah, sorry bro. Saw the bag on your bed, must have fallen there from somewhere. Couldn't really help myself, got a terrible headache and I was desperate for some sugar. I'll make it up to you, so can you please stop shouting now?"

"Uhhhmm," Olli scratced the back of his own ear, suddenly embarrassed for quite a few reasons, "yeah, sorry. It's... it's cool, don't worry about it."

He was too ashamed to look at Aleksi directly, but from the corner of his eye he could see the man raising his eyebrows at him before he stomped away to the lounge area of the bus. Olli took a moment to rub his face and let out a long sigh before walking after him.

Aleksi was already slumped on the couch, his nose as if glued to his phone screen when Olli sat next to him.

"I'm sorry, Aleksi."

Aleksi kept his eyes on his device as he spoke in an icy voice that spooked Olli to the bone.

"Oh yeah? What for? For yelling at me for no reason? For accusing me of something I hadn't even done without letting me explain myself? Or perhaps for being such an uptight control freak about your candy? Because if I had a gigantic bag of sweets on tour, I'd totally let you have–"

"Yes, yes, all of that!" Olli wailed, bonking his forehead on Aleksi's shoulder. "I was just...really looking forward to eating some today."

"Yes, that became very clear."

"Alluuuuuuuuu, I'm sorryyyyyyyy," Olli whined against the man's sweater.

"Don't you 'Allu' me, I'm still upset," Aleksi muttered, although Olli could already feel him soften.

"Is there anything I could do to stop you being upset with me? I really am so sorry." To maximise the effect of his (at least partly innocent) plea, Olli stick out his bottom lip in a pout and put on his best puppy-eyes act. He almost struggled keeping his frown from turning into a victorious grin when Aleksi side-eyed him, lips twitching.

"Guess we can think of... something."

Olli was already loving the sound of that.

~*~*~

Olli wasn't exactly sure how 'trying to keep as quiet as possible while having your dick sucked by your bandmate in a moving tourbus in the middle of the night while everyone else was asleep' was an apology rather than a punishment, but he wasn't complaining, quite the contrary; Aleksi's restrained moans were honey to his ears, his soft thighs felt heavenly under his palms, and the twitch of Aleksi's cock between his lips made blood rush to his own hardening member.

"Ahh, fuck, Olli, feels so good," Aleksi whispered breathlessly. Olli could tell he was close to finishing from the way his hips kept jerking, thrusting his erection deeper in Olli's greedy mouth, and the way his hands were grasping the cushions of the lounge sofa. Determined to catch Aleksi at his climax, Olli kept his eyes nailed to Aleksi's fluttering ones as he removed one hand from Aleksi's hip bone and wrapped his fingers around Aleksi's glistening cock, with just the tip remaining in his mouth.

Aleksi's soft whines then turned into surprised gasps when Olli's hand began working on his cock, pumping it while his tongue flicked around the sensitive head over and over until he could feel hot spurts of Aleksi's cum on his tongue and lips. He kept stroking the now pulsating erection, his lips grazing the tip just lightly enough to know it was driving Aleksi insane, not stopping until Aleksi's heavy panting turned into sobs from how sensitive he was becoming.

Having cleaned them both up, Olli sat next to blissful Aleksi and began palming the bulge on the front of his own trousers.

"So. Was that alright for you? Are we even now?"

"Oh, for sure, that was... that was nice. Thanks," Aleksi slurred, still trying to calm down his breathing. "Although... it's... not the whole truth, maybe. What Niko told you."

Olli furrowed his brows.

"What's that's supposed to mean?"

"I mean... yes, Niko ate the candy, but he didn't eat all of it. I had also been to your stash earlier today, but I swear I had put it back where I took it! I guess it really had rolled out, like Niko said, and... well."

Olli weighed Aleksi's words in his mind, still casually massaging his own erection through his pants.

"I see," he nodded.

"Please don't be mad. I promise I'll never eat your candy without asking ever again."

"Oh, you better," Olli snorted, "but, ummmm. Obviously I can't let this go unpunished."

"I'll do anything, as long as you won't start screaming at me like that again."

Honey to his ears.

"You would, huh?" Olli leaned in closer to whisper his command in Aleksi's ear, his nose brushing the soft hair on Aleksi's temple. "Better get on your knees, then."

[avirael]

FFxivWrite 2024

Day 30 - Two Heads Are Better Than One

Sometimes paperwork or research simply wasn’t avoidable. This didn’t mean however that A’viloh would start liking these tasks anytime soon. He was not only way to impatient for it but also usually felt very useless.

Their encounter with Iceheart had given them lots of riddles, starting with finding a way to reactivate her aetheryte and leading to even more questions about primals after she used her own body to summon Shiva. On the request of Moenbryda and Minfilia, A’viloh had written down everything he remembered about the fight and what Iceheart had said.

But the whole matter was mostly involving magic and soon everyone had started to go through books and scrolls of all kinds of topics and of course A’viloh had been expected to help. Unfortunately magic was not exactly his strong point and to be honest he didn’t even understand half of what he was reading.

“There has to be another way I can help…”, he groaned and put down the book in his hands. He had read the last passage five times already and still felt no closer to understanding what it said. “I would not even recognise the answer if it jumped right into my face!”

Rael chuckled and looked up from their book too. “Please don’t make yourself sound more stupid than you are…”

“But I am! At least if it’s about magic! And I don’t mean that in a self-critical way, it’s just the truth!”, the Miqo’te insisted in frustration. “I can’t even cast a simple healing spell! How am I supposed to figure out how primals and summonings work? This doesn’t make sense!”

“Fine! You deserve a break…”, Rael admitted with a somewhat apologetic look on their face.

A’viloh nodded and seized his chance to flee. “But you do too! I’ll go and ask F’lhaminn for tea and something to eat! I’ll be right back!”

***

Admittedly he had not particularly hurried to return with food and drink but could anyone blame him for trying to avoid spending more endless hours buried under a heap of incomprehensible books?

When he finally returned with a small tray in his hands, he found Rael still focused on one of the books in complete concentration. He had no clue if it still was the same book or the next one or maybe already the fifth next one.

Carefully he set down the tray in a small empty spot on the table, trying not to startle Rael. He was about to say something, when the Viera almost jumped up. “I have an idea! Oh, A’vi! It’s good you’re back, come on!”

“What?”, he asked confusedly as he watched Rael walk to the door. “But what about the tea?”

“Later!”, Rael said and waved him over with the book in their hands. “I found something. We should discuss this with Urianger.”

A’viloh sighed and followed reluctantly. It was not like he disliked Urianger - the Elezen surely was a polite and friendly guy. A little strange or shy maybe judging by his choice of clothes. But the actual problem was more how smart he was! He had a way of talking, full of strange wordings and terms, A’viloh struggled to understand sometimes. Maybe that would get better if he spent more time talking to him, but A'viloh shied away from doing so for the same reason he barely talked to Y’shtola or Papalymo unless it was for work - he felt horribly stupid next to them.

Quickly they had found Urianger, absorbed in his own studies. He seemed happy to see them and even more so when Rael announced they had an idea. For a moment the Viera explained what they had read and A’viloh at least thought he understood a fair bit of that. Then Urianger pulled another book from one of the shelves and began to explain something. Pretty much immediately A’viloh was lost.

Rael attentively nodded along to what he said, so they apparently understood, and while A’viloh tried to smile politely, it would in all honesty not have made any difference if the Elezen had instead spoken in some beast tribe language. No! Actually A’viloh was convinced he understood the goblins better than him! The Miqo’te could only hope that their confusion wasn’t getting any more obvious the longer the conversation went on, although he kind of doubted it.

In the end Urianger picked another book from a pile on the desk, handed it Rael and send them back to do their homework. At least it somehow had that impression on A’viloh.

“He said no, didn’t he?”, A’viloh asked as the two of them walked down the corridor.

With a bit of uncertainty Rael tilted their head. “It was more of a probably not… but he really liked the idea and said we should look into it some more.”

A’viloh groaned. “No… please, no more books! Why do I have to endure this? I am sure no one makes Yda read boring book about aetherology!”

“That’s mean.”, Rael said and stifled a laugh. “Besides, the way I know Papalymo I wouldn’t be so sure about that…”

“It wasn’t meant to be mean…”, Aviloh mumbled, before he suddenly seemed to have an idea. “Oh, that’s right! Papalymo! We should ask him too! And maybe also Y’shtola and Moen!”

“I went to Urianger because it’s more his specialty and not their’s. Well, Moenbryda yes, we could ask her…”, Rael thought loudly. “But you know, A’vi, I actually think you are right about the others too! That’s a good idea! It can’t help to have a multiple perspectives on this…”

A’viloh smiled a little dumbfounded. He hadn’t expected to be able to contribute anything at all to this, so being told he had a good idea was a nice surprise.

“But can we first have a break? With a little luck the tea is still warm.”, he asked pleadingly. “Then all you smart people can still put your heads together! I would be surprised if you can’t solve this…”

Rael smirked.

“You are lucky, I can’t let F’lhaminn’s wonderful tea go to waste.”

[thegreatyin]

💀 for the scoundrel, 🃏 for caeru, 🐀 for both

putting this under a cut bc it got surprisingly long (blame the cardsru question)

💀 What's their relationship with the Boatman like?

Ever since she finished Evolution and picked the Naturalist's fate? Not exactly swell. He's not exactly pleased about her choice, and she hasn't exactly gotten any better at chess. And she has a bad habit of dying. A lot. Usually in really stupid ways (such as trying to fight two dozen tigers, to name a completely absurd and definitely totally absolutely not recent hypothetical)

To keep a long story short: They don't get along. Most of their boat visits these days are spent in silence. Or vague small talk. Or awkwardly trading weasels back and forth. The Scoundrel tries to avoid him... mostly. Emphasis on the "tries" part of that sentence.

-

🃏 What would be/will be their name and domain as a Master?

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE MASTER!CAERU IS SO BASED AND ALSO HAS BEEN HAUNTING ME.

Aaanyway, despite myself, as unequivocally funny as the nickname "Cardsru" might be, I don't think it'd end up being his domain in quite the same way it is for the Scoundrel*.

Instead, I could see him being a way more general hoarder of knowledge, if that makes any sense? Facts, histories, lore both mundane and eldritch in nature, everything he could get his grubby little batty hands on. He'd trade in secrets and clues, acting as an information broker for anyone able to pay the price for his services. The price in question, of course, being a trade in mysteries of equal or greater worth to what he's giving up- street gossip for street gossip, arcane secrets for arcane secrets, maybe even the results of an especially chainbreaking experiment for a few dozen notes on tests of his own making.

He wouldn't be kind. And he wouldn't accept lies or forgery. But he'd always be fair, and he'd always look the other way when it mattered most. And if rumor on the street claims he's the most revolutionary of the Masters, the most destructive of their own ranks and ties, the council's man on the inside, the one who heralds the Liberation and welcomes its embrace with open claws-

Well. You'd need to trade a particularly enticing bit of information to learn the truth, wouldn't you?

His name is trickier to imagine. Mr Arcana sounds cool. Or maybe Mr Memoirs. Mr Enigma? Whatever he is, he'd be Mr Pages' worst nightmare, and he'd absolutely revel in it.

*and the scoundrel would actually have an entirely different spacebat special interest if they Actually Got A Say In Things! unfortunately they very much do not.

-

🐀 Are they friends with any rats?

At this point? Considering how many actions I've spent grinding fourth city echoes at LB Industries? There's no way the Scientist doesn't have a whole rat social network going. He probably gets along great with the little buggers. Inventor for inventor behavior. I haven't played Dream of a Thousand Tails yet, but he'd probably be best friends with the Piebald Dreamer if/when they ever meet.

Overall though, he's just a weird ratty guy! He respects rats!! Even if he tries to eat them sometimes. Unaccountably peckish, and all that. You know how it is.

The Scoundrel, by comparison, tends to see rats as vague annoyances at best. They tolerate their existence, but it's pretty much just that- toleration.

They'll be buddy-buddy with rats for as long as it suits their own interests. And as soon as those interests diverge from the rat's own?

...it's probably best to get the heck out of dodge before they get caught in the inevitable crossfire of whatever hairbrained scheme the Scoundrel happens to be pursuing at that particular moment.

[lucysweatslove]

Three days into Head/Neck/Gut block which I’ll refer to as HNG for the next like 4 weeks. We are starting off with mainly head and neck anatomy. I have a weird relationship with anatomy labs. It’s a lot of memorization- conceptually it’s not hard at all, but to anchor any of the info, you have to memorize stuff and ew. I don’t like rote memorization. The sheer volume of stuff we have to memorize is just… ugh. I genuinely don’t mind being in lab when I’m alone, but the moment other people are there, the social stimulus around me is too large and my brain shuts down a little bit.

Anyway I had this genius idea (which I did last year too) to spend “lecture time” in the lab alone, but unfortunately I can’t study from the prosection heads because of their fragile nature unless one of the anatomy instructors are in the room, and they lecture too. Nothing is really ideal here but I’m trying my best.

For whatever reason, clinical med class decided now was the appropriate time to learn sensitive exams (breast, genitourinary, and rectal). So we did that yesterday. I was gone from ~7am (8am abdominal and HEENT exam workshop) until 7:30pm yesterday. Then back this morning (left at 7am again) to observe one of my new classmates with a hospital patient (plus present an OCP from a patient I saw 7 weeks ago and have been avoiding presentation).

I went from that to lab and spent a few hours on my own looking at models and skulls. That wasn’t too bad honestly, but I noticed myself getting more overstimulated and tried to take 10 min in a dark room to regulate. Except… I forgot my lab key when I left which meant I locked myself out of lab until everybody else started filtering in.

These lab days are “station based” in small groups rather than any real dissections on our own, so I just choose somewhere to be and try not to be in the way and it works out. I mainly stay there to see some of the prosected donors and hear for any “nudge nudge wink wink” hints about exams. This is going to change Friday when we have actual dissections to do, which I’m anxious about. I talked to the main anatomy instructor who told me they have reached out to a group they think will be the best fit for me to see if they’re okay with me joining.

Oh that’s a different discussion too. Right now, I am so fragile (for lack of a better word) and I know faculty have been asking how they can best support me etc. I’ve noticed a few changes in general (splitting us up into smaller groups, using more standardized patients instead of just having us practice on each other). Can’t say this is directly because of me or in response to me, but I did tell them that larger groups are more difficult for me and I like to opt out of being touched if I can… so, it may be a response to try to support me. I’m wondering if they’ve realized that my social skills with peers are basically non-existent and people don’t usually try to include me too much, and now they’re trying to find ways to give more support for the social aspects of school too.

I feel so ambivalent about that idea. On the one hand, I really appreciate how willing they are to help and to consider my unique needs. On the other, I hate that I need it at all. I feel a lot of shame about how I genuinely don’t know how to interact with peers anymore. I can still do okay with patients, but the skills regression is REAL and now I feel… incredibly disabled.

Something I’ve also noticed is that I’ve gotten far less anal about exams. I just don’t have it in me to care as much as I used to when I was younger and less “fragile.” Idk. I feel like I spend way too much time trying to manage autism related shit rather than actually learning.

I’m trying to embrace the attitude of what my practicum preceptor said regarding my new peers (the whole “fuck em” approach). It’s hard because I don’t want to reject them in any way- I don’t want to prematurely think anybody is wrong/bad/whatever, and genuinely I don’t think they are- and I know anything social requires a level of reciprocity (it’s unfair to make the other people do all the initial work, and people stop making an effort when you don’t make one yourself). But the “fuck em” approach isn’t really about assuming they’re going to be awful but more so about giving me a planned response that isn’t “wallow in despair over being rejected again” in case they’re not interested in building any kind of friendship with me. Reality is that I’m a little odd and socially awkward and struggle with in the moment reciprocity in conversation, and it’s okay if somebody doesn’t want to spend energy getting to know me and what I’m like when I’ve had time to warm up. If that’s the case, fuck em, not in the “they’re bad people” way but like… we aren’t meeting each other in a place where we can foster a friendship, and I don’t need their approval to continue doing what I want.

Anyway I’m really tired and have therapy tomorrow ✌️

[newzealandmozsombi]

Days in Nelson

So. On thursday I spent the whole morning video chatting with people which was really nice, felt kinda “socially refreshed” if that makes any sense. The second chat with Edward was actually already at the parking lot of a bikepark in Silvan forest in Richmond which is about 20 min south of Nelson. Lilia (or Lilla, not actually sure, she’s the hungarian girl living here) suggested me to try one of the trails there and it did not disappoint although the climb felt really long and didn’t feel too fit due to really exhausting myself the day before. Anyway, the trail was fun, loose, rocky, pretty steep but not too steep. On the way up I already realized that I am definitely not going for a second lap but since this trail “de la luna” didn’t end up at the parking lot but finished halfway down the hill I climbed a bit more and rode another trail called “Goliath” which was super fun, just steep turns the whole way down. In the end I went back for a 2nd lap and just at the start some 10-12 year old looking kids stopped me (in such a polite way oh my, if all kids were this polite the world would be a better place haha) to help them sort out a mechanical issue with one of their bikes. Unfortunately due to the lack of proper tools I couldn’t really fix it for them but they were still pretty grateful. Anyway, on the second lap I filmed the short clip that you can see below this post, phone tucked into my pants and hoping it doesn’t fall out.

On friday the plan was to check out the final few stages of this multi day blind enduro (NZ Mtb Rally) race with Lilia. The organizers put up some information of the instagram site of the race stating that there is gonna be a “heckle zone” at the finish of the last stage of the race where you can get a free noise making tool (vuvuzela or something similar) to cheer for the racers. This only started at 2 pm so I had time to squeeze in two more laps of riding before, one on a trail I kinda knew well already and another one that Lilia recommended and although it was the highest grade of difficulty it turned out pretty good, there was only one really steep almost vertical corner where I realized that either I go now or if I keep looking at it for another 2 seconds my courage is gonna be gone so I went for it and survived haha. Good trail. Scary in places but still doable and fun!

Afterwards I ate lunch at the parking lot and met up with Lilia and together we watched the last 30 or so riders around the finish area. It was pretty loud and hectic, quite a lot of people vuvuzelas, bells and everything you can imagine. Lilia has been living here for 4 years now and seems to know people wherever she goes. Funny enough I ended up also hearing a familiar voice right next to me, it turned out to be the host of the OTB podcast which is a mountain bike podcast that I listen to every other sometimes. Fun spectating, the local hero Sam Blenkinsop won the race, put down a spectecular run on the last stage. I already decided it the day before that I don’t wanna stay in this campsite longer cause there is no reception and I just felt a bit trapped there after 4 or so nights so I decided to go to Kaiteriteri where I had been already at the end of February (where I went swimming and cut my foot) at a pretty nice campsite. It was a one hour drive from Nelson, the idea was to go ride there on Saturday. On friday night I was finally able to slow down a bit which as always, was much needed. Apparently I am still learning to become aware of what my body/soul actually needs instead of what my mind tells me I need, like it is just super easy try to constantly stay on that high of riding, then watching a race, then watching a series, reading and so on and it is a great way of avoiding any kind of introspection which is pretty necessary. This time I realized that the constant urge to stay on that high was coming from trying to avoid some fears I have around the next leg of my travels namely selling the car, the trip to Vancouver island and whatever comes after that. To not have to feel any of this I just kept chasing that high for quite a few days. While it was quite uncomfortable to slow down it was much needed. This helped me the next morning when after a good chat with my sister I made the decision to skip riding cause I just know at my core that it’s not what I truly want and need so I spent a few hours at the beach just sitting and letting my inner world sort some stuff out. I also did some volunteer research for Canada again and wrote one application and actually got a response soon after, should have a chat with the host in the next few days, it’s a min 1 month stay in Squamish from mid May so I am pretty keen for that!

I still can’t get over how the weather has been nearly perfect for sports most days and at the beach it was once again warm but not that sweaty, I wanna die let me go for a swim or else kinda warm..totally bearable, with a light breeze just good.

The rest of the day was actually fixed a few days back when Lilia invited me to the premier of the new movie (documentary) of the french enduro rider Kilian Bron, so I drove back to Nelson, checked in at the hostel where I was gonna stay for the night, quick shower, dinner and walked to the cinema to meet up with Lilia before the movie. I thought it makes more sense to stay in the city cause the event was supposed to end around 9:30 pm and I didn’t like the idea of driving to a campsite that late and getting everything sorted in the dark so I found this hostel just two blocks from the cinema. They had a really out of tune guitar which I got to try this morning, mmmm sweet Lord how I missed playing the guitar..

The movie was quite interesting, some beautiful shots, it was filmed in Nepal in September 2023. I liked the concept, there was a bit of story and they didn’t just film riding scenes but actually tried to showcase how the locals live, their culture and so on which was nice but there were also parts where the Kilian donated a bike to a local kid and said that he’d finance his studies which is really generous but I don’t really like the concept of big rich white men going to the east and “trying to fix” stuff there cause we for sure know better..Then again, donating a bike is cool, probably won’t do much harm but yeah I have some reservations about this inbalance of power basically. In any case, I am glad i’ve seen the movie, Kilian was there after to answer some questions he seemed pretty genuine and honest about why he wants to do this so that’s cool.

After the movie Lilian and I went to have a drink at the same spot where we first met a few days ago and had another great chat about the movie, meditation and other things, got back to the hostel pretty late, went straight to bed after what felt like an eventful day.

For today I didn’t have much of a plan other than leaving Nelson and doing laundry somewhere and just in general having another slow day, which I did have. The only thing worth mentioning was picking up a french hitchhiker dude in Nelson and dropping him off at a town near Picton as he was heading back to the North island, we had a lovely chat, glad that I could finally help someone out since I usually drive shorter distances or I was always going in the opposite direction compared to where hitchhikers were going.

Tonight I am staying on the east coast literally, by the sea and will be heading south tomorrow. It’s a pretty basic campsite, no electricity, no hot water (the water is not treated actually so drink it at your own risk basically), no check in desk or anything. Paid online, find a spot for yourself and that’s it. Can even see the north island from here that’s pretty cool! (In the far back on the left side of the picture below)

All in all I am really starting to feel that I am coming to the end of this chapter here in New Zealand, I feel really content with what I was able to experience here, I don’t feel like I missed out on major things and somehow I am just really getting ready mentally to what’s next. That being said it hits me daily that I only have 3 weeks left which feels like it crept up on me without me noticing it, a few weeks ago the whole Canada thing seemed so far away and now it really is getting close. I am ready for the next (originally unplanned) part of this trip!

If someone told me back in Hungary that I’d be going to Canada from here I would’ve laughed the loudest..

Obligatory song suggestion:

Lily Meola - Northern Star

I found this song on instagram a couple of days ago, John Mayer played it. During his radio show so I gave it a try and I fell in love with it. Slow acoustic song about the singer mourning the death of her mum. It’s a bit bittersweet but also incredibly beautiful. Hope you listen to it and love it as much as I do.

[soliaraamell]

alright i wasnt fucking around with fade mpreg unfortunately. im using this as an excuse to get deeper into seamus's character and what his deal is.

so seamus, like teagan, was taken from his family at age 8 in 9:24. he actually didn't originally show any signs of magic, it was teagan who had the magical outburst, but the templars took him as well because him and teagan are identical, and they reasoned that he would likely exhibit magic soon. teagan was taken to the starkhaven circle, and he was taken to the white spire, the circle at val royeaux, partially because of his special case (suspected mage). for a few years he didn't really show any signs of magic, and was instead trained as a templar.

eventually, at 11 (9:27), he ends up lighting one of his brothers-in-arms on fire, and was promptly pulled out of the white spire and sent to the montsimmard circle, as to avoid further scandal at white spire. there, at montsimmard, he was trained primarily by the enchanter mireille de caron (who was 28 in 9:27) (sister to grey warden rene de caron).

during his circle days he was a bit more freespirited and boisterous than his peers. he spent as much time as he could outside, and generally was not the best mage. mireille was often exasperated with him, but secretly she understood him, as she also often yearned for a life of adventure (her imagining her brother as a grey warden). seamus's lust for adventure and freedom was also partly fueled by his desire to reunite with his siblings, especially his twin.

he also feels emasculated, as he grew up primed to be a nobleman, the ideal of masculinity, then had that ripped from him, became a templar, where most of the young boys try to overcompensate for their life of service to the maker (and women) by acting over masculine and chauvinistic, (also the fear of their incoming life of chastity and impotence), then finally becoming a mage, the epitome of the unmasculine male in orlesian chantry society (unable to hold land, titles, take a wife, father children). this all of course is meant to reflects teagans journey of being a trans woman. teagan feels freed from the expectations of being a Man whereas seamus fights against what he feels is his right as a Man, or man to be. the dehumanization of mages is of course a problem in orlesian-andrastian society and both twins approaches to how their percieved gender is taken away from them are not perfect.. its not all black and white you see smirking demon emoji

the events of dao and da2 mostly passed them by without notice. the way the events of origins reached the montsimmard circle was largely diluted to make orlais come across better, and seamus had no memory of the name "soliara" (he never knew about her growing up) and her family name was never publicized. also alistair was largely more lauded than her because of the drama of the seven day king. mireille worried for her brother, knowing he was sent to ferelden.

when seamus is 17 (9:34), a newly avowed templar is transferred to montsimmard. this templar (21 yrs old), named judicael, or jude, was a few years older than seamus in templar training at white spire all those years ago. jude seems to not hold anything against seamus for the whole fire incident (he wasnt the one lit on fire, he was just there, and seamus just sort of assumed all his former compatriots thought he was a dirty mage now) and he just thought it was funny. seamus and jude become close friends, and also start a sexual relationship. jude lets seamus get away with a lot of stuff, and even though seamus doesnt tell mireille whats going on, she knows and disapproves. seamus believes that one day him and jude will be able to escape together and all will be right. their relationship is not something they talk about explicitly, the trysts happening in secret dark corners, being only friendly in public. the other templars suspect jude of being soft on seamus, but ultimately turn a blind eye if templars have sex with the mages. this dynamic continues for the next three years.

the chantry explosion in kirkwall (9:37) sets off a chain of mage rebellions in the free marches. orlais being the head of the chantry, the circles are kept somewhat under control by the strong hand of templars. jude (24) begins to act more distant to seamus (now 20). seamus convinces himself that this is just an act for his protection. he believes this is their perfect oppurtunity to escape together. he tries to convince mireille (now 38) to make plans to escape with them. after many of the mage rebellions are quelled via templar enforcement, things settle back to an uneasy peace.

in 9:38, seamus (21) is rushed into his harrowing. this is a move by the templar order to get as many mages under the control of phylacteries as quickly as possible, due to rising tensions. this leaves him feeling betrayed by jude, as his plans of escape hinged on the fact that he was less noticable as an apprentice, and believed that jude had been intentionally putting off his harrowing to help him. in reality, his harrowing had been delayed because he just isnt that good of a mage, and mightve been made tranquil if things had progressed as normal. but he doesnt know that. seamus clears his harrowing by a hair, and his phylactery is sent off to white spire.

by 9:39 (22), he has become an increasingly harried and antsy. now a full mage, he has slightly more freedom, and spends a lot of time pestering jude and trying to get in contact with first enchanter fiona. he hasnt had many friends in the circle, generally because of his odd history and his strongheadedness, so he still mainly only hangs out with mireille (40), but she has less time for him because he is no longer her apprentice, and she has a new crop of young apprentices to try and keep calm in the heightening tension.

after news of the revolt at white spire reach montsimmard, seamus helps incite the rebellion of the libertarians of the circle. during the fighting, he tries to convince jude(26) to join the free mages, but jude turns on him and tries to kill him. heartbroken, he is forced to kill jude.

at some point in the chaos, he finds mireille, and mireille's friend anais (marie anais cousteau) trying to protect a group of young apprentices by trying to surrender to the templars. he attacks the templars, and mireille is furious with him for ruining their chances of surviving by branding them as apostates. seamus pleads with her to come with him to andoral's reach, where the rebel mages are gathering, where they can be safe. mireille is scared of the long journey to places she has never been, especially when with a group of children. she says the templars will be expecting them to head northwest, and that they should instead flee to ferelden, where her brother is a grey warden, and can give them sanctuary.

her pleas work, seamus needing a voice of reason in his awful conflicted and grieving state, and the group (seamus, mireille, anais, and a group of six mage apprentices) begins to make their way east, to amaranthine. after many wet and terrifying months sneaking their way across warring orlais and ferelden, using their combined magic to expedite an otherwise impossible journey, they are able to find refuge with the wardens of amaranthine in the year 9:40 (seamus 23, mireille 41).

by this time, soliara has given most of her responsibilities as warden-commander to her second-in-command, the warden aldin andras. aldin is nearing her calling, and shares responsibilities with rene de caron (mireilles brother) who is now 43. rene is also secretly beginning to feel his calling coming onto him, but is pretending otherwise for aldin's sake, who wants to leave amaranthine in good hands, esp in such troubled times. soliara spends most of her time in denerim acting as chancellor and main advisor to queen anora, because of the delicate political situation. soliara refuses to become inquisitor at leliana's urging, because of her loyalties to ferelden and her people. seamus and his party are sheltered uneasily, mireille being rene's sister keeping them from being forced to undergo the joining. seamus is still uneasy, not feeling completely free, not allowed to leave vigils keep for fear of being killed by templars who have now declared outright war, and spends a lot of time pacing, and training with a sword. he begins to hear whispers in his dreams from someone promising him more

in 9:41, with the conclave destroyed, soliara goes to haven as a fereldan ambassador, and out of personal curiosity to see the dwarf who was seen with andraste herself. she never formally joins the inquisition, instead staying as a representative of the fereldan order of grey wardens, and takes personal interest in the career of one pearl cadash. seamus doesnt know about any of this.

rifts begin to open up around amaranthine, and seamus, mireille, anais, and the mage apprentices join the wardens in helping beat back the demons. the whispering in seamus's head gets louder, and begins to follow him into the day. it says that it is the spirit of jude, and that it forgives him, and that it always loved him. it promises a future, freedom, and family. mireille begins to notice him distancing himself, but they don't have much time anymore.

after the mages of redcliffe join the venatori and are defeated by the inquisition, tensions grow ever higher at amaranthine. other wardens are hesitant to be accomplice to housing apostates. mireille chooses to undergo the joining to appease the wardens, but things are still tenuous. this also makes things tense between mireille and her brother, as he didn't want this life for his baby sister.

as seamus becomes more anxious and more antsy, the spirit begins to change it's advance. it says that its name is marlein, that shes a templar like jude was, that she loves him, that she's sorry, that she will do anything for him. here is a spirit being influenced by the human that it is possessing. drive being morphed by seamus's feelings of betrayal, emasculation, and his desire for purpose and legacy. the "marlein" persona is invented/embodied by the spirit as an evolution of it trying to replicate jude's memory, but also appeasing seamus's desires. it has become what seamus wants, forcibly molded by it's host, but seamus's desires are amplified and twisted to extremes by the power of the spirit.

finally, in a daring and stupid move to try and protect mireille and a few of the apprentices, seamus falls too close to a fade rift and hears marlein's call. he wanders in a trance, and is pulled into the fade. by random chance, this happens to be exactly when pearl and her companions are also in the fade physically. this coincedence (or perhaps divine providence?) keeps him from death, as the fade is in a less volatile state already, accommodating the inquisitor.

marlein is there on the other side in an instant, cushioning him. he is kept in a trance state by the power of marlein's love for him and desire to keep him alive and needing to fulfill it's purpose through keeping him alive and fulfilling his desire for freedom and legacy, and seamus's ambition to stay alive. think the desire demon in broken circle, but in the fade this time. after pearl leaves, he is left in the fade, but alive still. marlein and him try to find a way to free him, so their desires can be made physical outside of the fade, but are often sidetracked because of their symbiotic/parasitic entanglement. basically, on some level they both want to leave the fade, but also are too busy fucking metaphysically all the time to try to do so seriously.

they enter into a weird sort of domestic life, where they play out a "normal" family. they are constantly switching roles, who is human and who is spirit, who is mage and who is templar, who is husband and who is wife. they begin to bleed together as marlein becomes less spirit, influenced by contact seamus's mortality, and seamus becomes less human due to extended contact with the raw fade and a spirit. an embryo is formed. out of love, out of an idea, out of a sexual joining. does it just appear one day, out of pure desire for it to exist, to fulfill the domestic ideal, or is it the eventuality of penetrative sex between a penis and a vagina? sometimes seamus is the one pregnant, sometimes it's marlein.

as it grows, their domestic life becomes more painful. the manifestation of a spirit, being forced to adhere to the physical timeline of growth, especially the rapid growth of a fetus, is agonizing for both participants. their balance is disrupted, and seamus/marlein is/are terrified for the loss of their life they've found, not wanting to be shaken out of this trance, not wanting to have to readjust to following normal time, and fearing for the future of their child, the physical product of their lust for freedom and security of legacy.

on the other side, in the mortal world, mireille is racked with guilt. she ensures that there is always a platoon of wardens keeping watch over the rift that seamus disappeared into, often standing guard herself. after news reaches amaranthine that the inquisitor was able to enter and exit the raw fade herself, she convinces aldin and rene to pen a letter to commander soliara, begging the inquisitor for help. it is then that she notices that the warden-commanders family name is amell. seeing as seamus never mentioned an older sister named soliara, she assumes they are just distant relatives, and beseeches soliara's help as well, as a favor to her family.

soliara recieves the letter, and nearly has a heart attack. during her time as a warden, she had done cursory research into her family, to see what become of her siblings (which she knows about despite being taken before any of them were born bc of the scandalous stories told about the amell family and their mage children). she knew one of her brothers had ended up in a circle in orlais, but had always been too scared to reach out. after the mage uprising, she feared the worse. hearing one of her brother indeed had been alive, but was now supposedly dead in the fade, she spurred pearl and her companions to journey to amaranthine.

pearl is hesitant to re-enter the fade, and soliara agrees that it is too dangerous when they have no idea where seamus might be. instead, they use a dreaming ritual to try and pinpoint where he might be. they confirm that he is indeed alive (somewhat) in the fade, then at aldin's advising, use a blood magic ritual at the mouth of the fade rift to cast a line inside the fade to pull him out. solie is initially incredibly resistant to this idea, still despising blood magic, but eventually when faced with the reality of this being the only way to save her brother, consents. soliara uses her power as an arcane warrior to halfway enter the fade, then her blood is used to locate and hook onto seamus. then all of the mages just pull, soliara acting as an anchor between her brother inside the fade and the waking world.

seamus sees a vision of a woman who looks like his mother and like andraste, and he is intially comforted (again, seeking reassurance in the conflicting pain of pregnancy/adherence to time/growth). the relief turns to panic when the woman grabs onto him and begins to drag him into the sky. marlein clings to him, inside of his skin, as they begin to split in two once more. its incredibly painful. waking up out of a beautiful dream, like being pulled over broken glass. the panic of losing a child, losing this life, rejoining the living, becoming human again and becoming human for the first time, rejoining the normal flow of time, regaining normal gravity, and seeing the sun, all rolled into a few horrifying minutes. at the last second, there is a uncomfortable and sloppy joining, and a spirit who is part human possesses the body of a human who is part spirit.

a human who looks like seamus exactly like he did when he fell in stumbles out of the fade rift. pearl immediately rushes to seal the rift permanently, and soliara steps out of the fade. seamus collapses, completely spent. back at vigils keep, a medical examination is done, but nothing seems to be wrong with him. all of his muscles are loosened, he is sweating profusely, but he seems externally healthy. when he wakes up, he doesnt speak and begins to write furiously on the nearest scrap of paper. when the quill breaks and the ink spills over the paper, he pulls on the arm of whoever is nearest and begins to babble about spirits and houses and wives and templars and babies. he is trying to solidify his dream into his head. he is terrified of losing his memory of that life, like you forget a dream seconds after you wake. the person who's arm he was clinging to was soliara's, who was waiting at his bedside.

of course, this was not a normal dream, as he was a mage in the fade physically, and the spirit who was there the whole time has merged itself into him. there is no separate consciousness like early da2 anders and justice, marlein has full integrated itself into seamus's mind. being fully human again physically, this is a bit too much for his brain to handle, and he will suffer intense chronic migraines for the rest of his life. he only remembers their time together in feelings and vague sensations, but he remembers it. and he is considerably more powerful now, more spry, limber, and incredibly ambitious. at his recovery, soliara chooses to dismiss what he had rambled about as a feverish madman's delusions.

recovering rapidly, he pleads with soliara to join the inquisition, driven to connect with his long-lost sister, and find purpose in saving the world. soliara is slightly terrified of this man who is apparently her brother, but mireille, who actually did know him, is just reassured that he is alive and well, tells soliara that he always was such a driven young man. so seamus travels with the inquisition back to skyhold. he is excited to learn about the disbanding of the templars, and put himself to work reconnected with mage at andoral's reach and working with vivienne and solas at studying the fade and sometimes going scouting with a sword of his own. soliara is still extremely wary of him and keeps him at an arms length.

after a few weeks, he collapses again. he is rushed to the infirmary, and solie and several surgeons conduct another examination. they find that his abdomen is significantly distended, and it had been hidden under his heavy mage robes. the abdomen seems to move and shift, and they fear some sort of magical illness. when seamus wakes up he complains of a kicking feeling, then seems delighted and faints once more. one of the nurses mildly suggests that his symptoms seems to remind her of when she was pregnant with her children. everyone is worried.

soliara is there when seamus wakes up again. she very carefully recounts all their findings about his condition, and offhandedly mentions the nurse's comment, as a sort of mean spirited joke at the nurses expense. seamus, suddenly more shy than she's ever seen him, begins to slowly and carefully explain what happened to him. soliara is disgusted. she calls him an abomination and storms out of the infirmary. for the next few days, she refuses to visit him, and the other nurses try to find out what is wrong with seamus, while he stays firm that he is pregnant with his and marlein's child.

the rumor that the hero of ferelden's apostate brother has gone completely mad spreads around skyhold quickly, and soliara goes back to him to try and yell and convince him to shut down that ridiculous rumor. he refuses. she storms out again.

he gets on his feet again, and returns to his work, albeit going out scouting less and under heavy watch. he still seems upbeat. as the months wear on, soliara gets wrapped up in more and more inquisition business as the fight gets more intense, it is undeniable that seamus's stomach is growing akin to that of a pregnancy.

the reason that im not going into seamus's personal view of things at this time is bc he basically is just mostly driven by his ambition to secure the position of mages, gain his own freedom, and secure his and marlein's legacy with their child. his thoughts have become strange and nonlinear since joining with marlein, and less understandable to humans. he knew all along that his and marlein's child was within him, but chose to withhold that info bc he understandably thought no one would understand, especially his weird and intense older sister. i havent even gotten into what teagan and caoilin and soliare are doing at this time, ill have to establish that later but maybe theyre here too.

corypheus is defeated, and he celebrates with the rest of the inquisition. he was worried that with the closing of the breach, he would lose connection with marlein, but they are now firmly joined in the mortal world and nothing between them changes.

he is heavily pregnant by this time, and most of the inquisition has become begrudgingly accepting of his claims. its undeniable the evidence. some people suspect he is a woman in disguise, but he grows a beard and has a deep voice. some suspect even further that he is a woman in disguise, lying the warden commander that he is her brother. that is generally dismissed, as soliara is a terrifying person to cross, and also why would someone come up with such a convoluted and weird lie. so most people have accepted that he got some weird magic curse from being in the fade.

a few weeks after the festivities end, seamus is having trouble walking, and is put on bed rest. a few days more, and he complains of extreme pain and cramping. the mages and nurses agree that the baby is on its way, but no one is able to answer how to deliver a baby without a vaginal canal. c-sections are very rare and dangerous. seamus's pain gets worse, and he nears death. he is terrified of losing marlein's child, and losing marlein as well, not knowing if they will be forced apart in death.

finally seamus begs soliara to cut the child out, and she relents, not wanting to lose her brother, even though she does think he is crazy. in a very careful procedure involving a lot of magic and bit of arcane warrior shenanigans, they pull a relatively mortal fetus from a cavity within seamus amell. they immediatly begin casting intense healing magic to seal him back together, and all of the mages present during this event swear that something other than lyrium was fueling their magic that day, something was helping them stitch seamus back together.

the child and parent both sleep, the baby born without crying. all in attendance are mystified by the entire ordeal, some even moreso by the infant's pointed ears. despite this grand mystery, the inquisition has much to do, and this remains a strange story for those mages to tell for the rest of their lives.

when seamus wakes up a day or so later, so does the baby, and it immediately begins to scream and cry like it should. seamus, during his pregnancy, had grown small breasts, but the milk he gives is not enough for a baby, and is helped by a wet nurse. he spends all of his possible time with the child, and soliara often check on them.

the baby appears mostly normal apart from it being an elf born from a human male. it cries and eats and shits like any other. seamus just seems overjoyed by their mutual survival, and coos and cuddles like any new parent. soon, he returns to his studies once more, carrying the baby, named marianne, in a sling while he works.

as divine victoria adjusts to her position, and officially decrees all mages freed, seamus celebrates again. he is free, and his child is free. when soliara moves back to denerim to reassume her position in queen anora's court, he goes with her, wanting to raise his child among family and the bustle of a lively city.

so thats that. more than 4000 words about something that doesnt matter at all. d oyou like it :)

[spacecadetspe]

Jan. 22, 2024

It has been a long and somewhat trying couple weeks. I have been trying very hard to keep to myself, keep out of trouble, and not spend too much money. Unfortunately, bottling all that anxiety up only led me to a breakdown.

Part of the problem is that I still attribute to empathy what should obviously have been projection. I thought what was needed of me was to mind my own business and not try to care, pester, badger Fortitude for things I needed. I thought he didn't want them, when the truth was far simpler. He's tired. I have wants and needs that I feel guilty about trying to fulfill with him because of his chronic pain and fatigue.

So... for a while, I just tried not existing. I didn't look for work, I didn't do much of anything worthwhile... and I stopped eating. If I'm not going to exist, then my imprint on the whole should be significantly lessened.

But of course, the anxiety didn't go away. In fact, it got worse. And again, I felt unloved. Not because it was true, but because I was not committed to loving myself, i.e., asking for what I needed.

Not only that, but I've been well aware of Phobetor's absence as of late. In his stead, an oneiros of similar height and bearing comes to me, usually to sequester me from other eyes and meddle with my endorphins until I'm addicted to his touch. His name is Orgeios (pro. "Orgos"), for somewhat obvious reasons. A dream spirit associated with sensual pleasures.

But instead of aiding my touch-starvation, the idea of having Orgeios as a stand-in for my consort irked me. It felt like I had been tricked, and that Phobetor might just be avoiding me. I wasn't in this relationship for a consolation prize.

And with my moon approaching, my emotions came to a head.

Since then, it seems like everyone has had a bit of a come-apart. W spent most of last week with me, and spent as many daylight hours as possible with a boy close to his age who lives in our neighborhood. Unfortunately, this neighbor kid also has some baggage, and told W about different times when his mother had kidnapped him, been a neglectful alcoholic, and he had wound up in foster care as a result.

The prospect of him leaving or being taken away set W on edge, and he became deeply paranoid that any conceivable slight would result in their friendship being torn apart. He had about three panic attacks in a single Saturday. And the following day, he nearly had another one because his friend was pressing him to go out in the cold to go fishing.

But no one expected the neighbor boy to be the one to have the last breakdown. He and W went fishing, eventually, but before they made it to the pond, the boy broke down because nothing was going according to his plan. I understand where he's coming from; growing up having to roll with the punches, and not having any stability, one craves control over their environment. I asked W to have some grace with him, but we'll just have to see how it goes.

Phobetor did come see me two nights ago to make sure I was eating, and he was helping me keep some small flying insects away from my bowl. I'll admit to hovering over my food like a prisoner, trying to keep them away.

When I sat up, I had the presence of mind to ask him if I had driven him away, and what I might have done to push him to avoid me. He chuckled and told me I had been quite forward toward him in public, on a night I can't remember, and could not be stopped when he rejected my advances.

I felt my face go pale, and I leaped out of bed and made a dash for the toilet. Well... there went my breakfast.

Phobetor followed me across my suite and waited for me outside the bathroom for me to finish emptying my stomach. When I slouched back down on the tile floor, he angled his face toward the door.

"I know you didn't mean it, Hope," he said. "You were never one to demand others service you... to the point of removing their autonomy." He stepped into the bathroom and crouched beside me, and stroked my hair back from the nape of my neck. "This is precisely why you shouldn't keep your desires bottled up. You become someone else- someone more desperate, more unfeeling- when you suppress your true nature." He sighed. "Even now, I can feel you, ready to push me away because of the guilt. But that's all it is."

I nodded, and at last he pulled me in and let me rest my head on his chest.

The last of the news is the biggest, I think.

I may or may not have mentioned Dimitrios, the pâtissièr for the Dream Castle's kitchens. His name is a devotion to the goddess Demeter, with whom he has a terrible history. When he was a boy, he spilled a glass of her kykeon; her favorite drink, and a beverage meant to invoke the mysteries. According to what I was told, Demeter did not have consistent access to the mysteries (probably due to her generally unpleasant demeanor), and quickly became a fan of kykeon as a crutch. That being said, when young Dimitrios spilled her glass, she became enraged and dragged him to the kitchens to make her a fresh one. Every time he offered her an unpalatable cup, she whipped his hands and had him make another one, growing more drunk and belligerent as the hours passed.

To this day, Dimitrios makes better kykeon than anyone in the pantheon.

We got a notice that Demeter had been invited to dine in our banquet hall. Vassilios told me that the message had come from Morpheus, so it was my intention to let the whole thing just blow over without a fuss. I don't like her, but she wasn't my guest, so my job was just to keep her from hurting my people again and otherwise stay out of the way.

I took Dimitrios aside, since he was the one I thought would be the most affected by her visit. I tried to calm him down and reassure him that she wasn't going to be a problem.

I was about to be surprised.

Demeter recognized him from the scars on his hands and arms, said the meal was adequate, and that the kykeon was finally the way she expected of him, and that he had finally grown to deserve his name. That was about the time when the kykeon started to take effect.

Her aura started to go haywire; the weather went from blisteringly hot to frigid in moments. Her eyes started changing colors. Her retinue began to panic.

All eyes turned to Dimitrios.

I took charge. I called the maître d', Lucas, and had him house the members of her party. Njorun took Demeter to the infirmary. And I took Dimitrios to my chambers.

He was scared. Of course he was. He just drugged his namesake, his abuser, until she was helpless. In spite of that, I told him he'd fought to get his dignity back, and I was proud of him for that. We could deal with whatever the fallout was, but he was finally confronting all the nastiness that had built him up to what he became as an adult. he had become obsessive and exacting... and unkind to himself.

"I never abused the children in my charge," he said, as if trying to defend himself.

I rolled my eyes. "You lost your hair," I pointed out. The strain of trying to be absolutely above reproach had taken a monumental toll on him.

"Most of it," he agreed with a nod. "I owe Beni an apology."

The only punishment I had for him was to have him process his scars, EMDR style. He'd relive them as if they were fresh... and then he would never have to relive them again.

Cassia had a fit. Told him he was selfish and reckless. True to form, Dimitrios vowed to address the issue, but he needed to speak with Benizelos.

He found Beni outside on the roof, smoking and drinking a bottle of wine. They talked like brothers for the first time in millennia. Dimitrios apologized. Beni had learned to forgive him ages before. And just like that, Dimitrios broke down.

I handed a bottle to Cassia and made her go outside with them.

In the morning, she gathered the kitchen staff in the conference room to figure out what to do in the interim. My part was to convene with Queen Athena, hoping she wouldn't have to hear the nastiness from someone else.

She already knew it was something to do with Demeter because the weather was acting crazy. But when I told her what happened, she just snickered. Apparently Demeter has a reputation as a "miserable old hag" among the Olympians, but as sovereign, Athena was required to demand retribution. Thankfully, she had something fitting in mind.

"The mind of a titan," she said. "A pastime of mine; if this lone wolf of yours can repair it, perhaps I can find a use for it, and we'll be square."

Perfect. And I vowed to process Demeter. After all... it's the least I can do.