#instead of like... having pie with jo and ellen?

[chiisana-sukima]

Between Dean and Sam: who prefers to be liked, and who prefers to be right?

Hi Nonny, thank you so much for the ask!

I think the easy answer is that Dean prefers to be liked and Sam prefers to be right. Dean has more friends, is more malleable, and has a huge, life-destroying fear of aloneness at his core, while Sam is Mr According to the Lore Research Boy who is often distant and intellecualizing, so this is a natural conclusion.

But actually I think that, like many people in high stress occupations, they both vastly prefer to be right and don't actually care that much about whether people like them or not.

In nursing, it's a truism that certain sub-disciplines--ICU, PCU, NICU, OR, ER--are full of "strong personalities"; which is what we call people who are excessively competent, just want to get the job done and get it done right, and don't really give a fuck about much else. Partly this is because people who are at baseline inclined towards a combination of technical competence and adventure tend to go into those difficult and high stress disciplines and partly it's because once you're there the job winnows everything else out of you.

That, to me, is Sam and Dean. They are "strong personalities". It's not that they don't have friends (although it's canon that in the early years part of the job is explicitly stated to be leaving your friends behind and not getting too close); it's that their friends are expendable, they themselves are expendable, everything is expendable except family and the job--and the job involves getting things right or dying.

Look at how they treat their friends. Look at Kevin, Garth, Rowena, Crowley, often Cas, even each other. They are frequently mean, insulting, belittling of others' value, and interacting with their friends like autistic children who bond through parallel play; except the play is "bleed for the Winchesters".

They both of course do have the basic human need to be seen and loved--which each expresses in their own natural way-- but that isn't at all the same as wanting to be "liked", and they both largely confine their need to be loved to a few select people. Everyone else goes in the "to sell for a corn chip if my brother is hungry" resource pile.

This is very much not me insulting them or saying that they're deranged or actually the bad guys or whatever. The way the universe of the show is set up, they are right. Their world is a huge ICU full of dying patients that's also on fire. In some ways the whole show is just a 15 year argument about how to be right when everyone is dying around you. Give up? Throw out your phone? Push it all down until it comes out in violence and alcoholism? "Like" is small and easily sacrificed compared to wading through the big stuff and doing your best.

[sadbigemini]

SUPERNATURAL MY BELOVED!!! Sorry, lol... I have some SPN fic prompts today. Let's get started!

What If Dean Winchester Killed John Before The Pilot?

I saw this post talk about how the initial pilot script implied that Dean killed John instead of hunting down Yellow Eyes (Azazel).

And like just imagine!

John went 'too far' (Dean's opinion) in his abuse and Dean had to kill him. But he felt guilty even after everything that the bastard did to him and Sammy. And he couldn't be alone bc what is Dean Winchester without family, without a purpose?? 😭

So, he went to Stanford and told Sammy that Dad was on a hunting trip.

WHAT IF SAM KNEW?!?!

What if Sam knew? Whether it be from the moment Dean said something or he figured it out during the first hunt (the White Woman/Weeping Woman).

But he let Dean have his whole charade bc he knew he was working through his guilt or for some other reason??? Idk

Also in the post was during their 'first' meeting Cas was like "Dean Winchester I need you to help me kill my father" and like that can happen too lmao

It would be interesting

⛧

What if John Winchester died instead of Mary Winchester?

!!!

Patchwork Souls (title rec)

John went into the nursery instead because Mary was going to follow through with the deal she made with Azazel.

Mary would still want revenge against the demon though. Especially since she only agreed that she wouldn't enter the nursery and demons are all about technicality. Only when it doesn't apply to themselves apparently (meaning John's entry shouldn't have mattered, Yellow Eyes could have just teleported away).

So, I think she would start hunting again but she would definitely not let her grief control her. Like someone else we know (side-eyes John 😒).

Now I'm going off of Past Mary's personality bc I hate Brought Back Mary (or whatever you wanna call her lol).

Mary raises the boys and still teaches them to hunt but only for self-defense and as a precaution.

She doesn't take Dean on a hunt until he's like sixteen maybe eighteen and only because he wants to. Same with Sam. She also starts them out easy.

Dean definitely would have probably tried hunting on his own tho.

Bobby or Ellen would watch them a lot when Mary went on hunts.

Would that mean that Ellen's husband is still alive??? Whatever you want ig?

She would never leave them alone in a motel until Dean is like at least fourteen. And she would always leave them with enough money. Even if there wasn't quite enough for herself.

But when she wanted to spend some time with her boys she would hand off the case to someone else through Bobby or Ellen.

Jo would be like their little sister and Ash would be like their weird brother lmao

Bobby kinda became like a father figure to Mary and a grandfather like figure to the boys (don't get me started on that while weird relationship in the show please).

Mary makes money by becoming a private detective and solves mostly supernatural crimes. Sometimes it's just cheating husbands.

But when work is slow she works at the Roadhouse for extra cash and also hustles the hunters there.

Bobby/Jody or Jody/Donna??

Dean/Castiel in the future?

Mary encouraged Sam to pursue his dreams of a more normal safe life and becoming a lawyer. She also encouraged Dean's dreams of becoming a hunter even if she wishes he chose a different route.

The story might start with Mary being kidnapped because the demons want the colt? And Dean pulls Sam away from his more apple pie life to find her. Or maybe she went dark because she caught Yellow Eyes’ (Azazel’s) trail?

Maybe she wants to shield her boys from the demon and try to keep them safe?

What about John's deal with Azazel? Would Mary make it instead? Or would that not happen??

⛧

Dad Bobby ♡

Bobby adopts the Winchester boys legally.

When Bobby meets the Winchesters he's reminded of his father and he does something about it.

First he goes to rehab, talks to Dean (first about John not his plan yet, when he does it's a year after Dean was sent to the boy's home), starts getting friendlier with the locals, and asks Ellen and some hunters to help fix up his house. Making it not look so blatantly like a hunter's.

They hide it all in his panic room which he then makes a secret passage to so the social worker won't see it. But he keeps his guns locked up in his room.

He also takes a step back from hunting but still helps from pretending to be a FBI superior to giving hunting advice to finding hunts for others to help research lore. He focuses on his car business.

SPN has so SO many plot holes ranging from big to small so some the ages for certain things have been changed.

So, Dean went to the boy's home at 14 instead of 16. Sam was 10. Sam learned about monsters when he was 8 like in canon. Dean learned about them a little younger maybe. Currently Dean is 15 and Sam is 11???

⛧

The FBI Has A Secret Task Force Of Hunters

Supernatural and Criminal Minds crossover!!

Dean and Sam are forced to join if they don't want to go to jail. They'd also get paid a salary and have more stability. But it throws the Winchester brothers into a whole new world.

They have mandatory therapy and training tho– HA!

They'd also probably have to share their knowledge and train agents. Obviously the BAU is assigned to them.

So, the BAU works with them and gets brought into a whole new world too.

Maybe Bobby joins later and helps recruit more hunters, so they all could get paid or???

The new hunters have to probably pass a psych eval and stuff though, so???

OH MY GOD CHARLIE AND GARCIA!!!! they would bond over their VERY similar pasts and their VERY similar personalities! Dead parents bc of a car crash? Check. Sunshine nerdy personality? Check. Fangirls? Check. Tech geeks who dabbled in the illegal side of things? Check. Bright colors? Check. Fruity? Check.

THERE ARE DIFFERENCES THO SO THAT'S GOOD

Sam and Reid!

DEAN AND MORGAN!!!!

Sam And Emily!!

Sam and JJ!!!

OMG Rossi would uncle the hell out of them and I think Bobby would be jealous lmao but they would probably become drinking buddies.

CAS AND REID!!!!!!!

[earbuds-and-hightops]

How I would have ended Supernatural

15x16: Drag Me Away (From You)

Condense/cut most of the Monster of the Week stuff and instead focus on the Chuckmara storyline [that was told in 15x17] and possibly add some more connection between Jack and Amara for foreshadowing purposes

Keep the parts where we find out that this is the only world left and that Jack will die

15x17: Unity

Condense/cut some of the beginning and introduce Billie's master plan

Billie opens Deaths Book and Team Free Will discover it to be useless but formulates a plan anyway.

About halfway through the episode, Jack explodes in the Empty (and why not do this before a comercial break for dramatics)

Have Cas's goodbye speech and sacrifice

Have Sam and Jack discover everyone gone

Still end the episode with Sam calling Dean and Dean not answering

15x18: Despair

Sam and Jack go back to the bunker and find that Dean hasn't moved from that spot on the floor

Dean fully explains what happened, and the three of them sit on the floor and mourn the loss of their family member. They do a small "service" where Castiel's name is carved into the table.

Then we move into their acknowledgement that everyone is gone

Keep the part where the find Miracle, because it's wholesome

Lucifer sneaks in, pretending to be Cas on the phone (running up the staircase clip) and he and Michael do their thing, minus creating a new Death

Flesh out that storyline and possibly emphasize the themes of sons loyal to their fathers and brothers who aren't

End the group going to whatever location to trap God

15x19: Inherit the Earth

Dedicate a good portion of this episode to fighting God and dealing with Michael, using more than fists (I'm talking angel blades at the very least) and dialogue more clever than repeating "seriously guys, stay down"

Right before Jack is able to take away Chuck's godliness (?) Chuck does something powerful (something that only a very powerful being could do) that ends up killing Dean

I don't think Dean's death should necessarily be a sacrifice, but I think it just makes sense that since they're fighting such a powerful being that they be unable to fully keep up, if that makes sense

Jack does his thing and the "we're not gonna kill you" speech, and Sam cries over Dean and does his little speech

Jack becomes the new God and brings people back

Sam and Jack hold an Endgame-esque hunter's funeral for Dean with a ton of familiar faces (Eileen, Jody, Other Dimention People, etc.)

Fade to black; it's finale time

15x20: Carry On

The Road So Far, but it's the entire song (if not extended a bit) and recaps all 15 seasons starting with "Dad's on a hunting trip"

Open on Sam and Eileen in the bunker with Miracle and show their routine and whatnot; casually show that Jack's name has been added to the table, and there's some sort of tribute to Dean in the library or map room

I would even be on board with them going to the pie-fest in Dean's honor

Cut to Dean in Heaven; he talks with Bobby and Castiel shows up with the explanation that he and Jack remodeled Heaven together

Dean and Cas acknowledge / work through what happened before Cas went to the Empty -- kiss scene???

Montage to "Carry On My Wayward Son" (not a cover) that shows Sam and Eileen and their kid (I'm thinking cute, curly haired, and deaf) and Dean visiting other people in Heaven

There's so much potential in this montage: Sam (and his kid, I guess) learning sign language from Eileen, Dean seeing Charlie again and their sibling-like dynamic, Sam's kid applying to Stanford, Jared not wearing a wig, Dean and Cas sharing drinks with Ellen, Jo, and Ash, the possibilities, people

The final scene is Dean and Cas driving around, and they see something up ahead (on the bridge, why not) and they turn down the music (montage music ends)

They step out of the car to find Sam there, they all reunite and hug, look out at the mountains, fade to black, Executive Producer title card

Thank you message from Jensen, Misha, and Jared, and same drone shot of the crew (but they're wearing masks).

Bonus points if Misha releases his essay on Cas's queerness.

[itsthestutterforme]

Broken Toy (Supernatural)

Characters: Dean x reader, Jo x Reader, Ellen x reader// SMUT 18+ ONLY

Summary: Y/N is a trauma riddled woman that does not have time for relationships. Sam and Dean rolled into town and couldn't keep his eyes off of her.

--

Y/N was relaxing at Ellen's bar while you were on your break. Ellen took you under her wing when she found out what happened to you family through a family friend. Ellen watched you grow up and to see you in pain, puts her in pain. Jo and Asher saw you as their big sister that they looked up to. They just wanted to help as much as they could.

Sam and Dean walk into the bar and you were the first thing that caught Dean's eye. He sat down next to you and said, "Hey there, beautiful." You took a sip of your lemonade before looking Dean in the eyes. Dean examines every inch of your face. "Believe me, you do not want to get involved with this," you say.

"Shouldn't that be up to me?" "Men like you view women as toys. I'm a broken toy, and no wants to play with a broken toy," you down the rest of her lemonade before leaving. "Ouch, did she just turn down the Dean Winchester?" Sam teases.

Dean watches as she walks in to the back room. Ellen walks out of the backroom and says something to Y/N. Y/N nods and Ellen puts one of her hands on Y/N's cheek. Dean watches the whole thing and doesn't say a word. "Hey boys, I didn't see you come in." Ellen greets as she hugs them.

"Hey, uh, what's her deal?" Dean says, motioning to you putting on her apron. "Boys, I know she's a looker, but she is off limits. She's lost so much so soon. And she's not ready for anything right now."

You walk passed them to take an order from someone who just sat down. The boys were helping with a case near the area and Ellen offered the boys a place to stay. In her house, there was a spare room with a couch that both of them could stay in. The both spent the night over Ellen's house.

Sam was sound asleep but Dean couldn't even shut his eyes longer than ten seconds. He got up and went downstairs for something to drink. You went downstairs for the same reason. You didn't hear or know her was there until you ran into him. You grabbed his shoulders and pushed him into the fridge before pressing your pocket knife to his throat.

"Y/N, it's me, Dean," he says, struggling to breathe against her grip. You pull away from him and tuck the knife back into your sock. "Sorry about that," you apologize. Dean couldn't help himself but to stare at your body through the oversized t-shirt and boxers. When you look at him, his eyes dart straight to your eyes.

"Couldn't sleep?" Dean asks. "I never can," you says as she reaches into the fridge to grab some orange juice. You take out two glasses and pour some juice in each. "Thank you," he mumbled. You stand in front of the window and sipped on your orange juice. "You know, Ellen and Jo are pretty protective over you."

"I'm the same way with them. They're all I have left." "Yeah, Sammy's all I have too." There was another silence and Dean watches as you look up at the moon absentmindedly. "You're not much of conversationalist, are you?" "I'm not one for small talk,"

"I can understand that." You look to him, unsure about his previous statment. You didn't buy it. "I find that hard to believe," "You know, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover," "I used to, but now, I wouldn't rather watch from a distance," "Hopefully not too far," Dean says. "The balls on you, dude," "Honey, you have no idea,"

**

Dean and Sam roll into Ellen's bar where Dean knows he'll face the wrath of Ellen and Jo. They made it known that you weren't in the right state of mind for a relationship or even a fling.

You had lost your close family to some deranged sicko at a gas station who decided to stab them to death. You was pregnant from a one night stand and when after five hours of labor, the baby was still born.

So yes, you were not in the right state of mind for anything. Dean respected that but still wanted to get to know you. Then he slowly started to fall for you. He knew you needed time and effort, and he put it in. He hung around for weeks and he gained your trust.

Things were going well until Dean found out about Sam drinking demon blood and was being manipulated by Ruby. And he had to leave. He didn't know how to say it because he already felt like shit about leaving you. He left in the middle of the night without a word and that shattered your world.

You cried in Ellen's arms for weeks, which fueled Ellen's anger. She warned them about your mental state and Dean went on a did this. Ellen knew that Dean would come back, and when he did, she would be ready for him.

"You have some nerve coming back here," Ellen says, crossing her arms. "I know," Dean dismissed, breaking her eye contact for a moment. "I heard what happened and I'm sorry Sam, but I'm still pissed at Dean for what he did to Y/N." "Right, thanks. And, uh, I'm sorry," Sam states.

"That's what Dean should be saying," "No matter how many times I say sorry, you're still not going to forgive me," "No, but it's a start," "You are such an asshole," Jo says once she sets eyes on him when she left the back room. "I outa smack you," she adds.

"I'm sorry, okay. I had to take care of Sammy," "Then you should have said that instead leaving her questioning what she did wrong." Jo snaps. "She was a wreck after you left, man," she adds. And speaking of the Devil, you walk in with your boyfriend.

"Who's that?" Sam asks. "That's her boyfriend, Ryan," "Hm, seems like someone moved on pretty quickly," Dean states before taking a sip of his beer. Jo brings her hand and smacks the back of his head. "What the hell!" Dean snaps. "You know what that was for," Jo spits.

You freeze in your tracks when you see Dean. Your grip on Ryan's hand tightens. "Are you okay?" Ryan asks. "Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just go," "What? You've been wanting Ellen's pie since last week," "I know, but I lost my appetite." You lie.

"Uh uh, we're not leaving." Ryan drags you to a table for two and wait until Jo comes over to take their order. You avoid eye contact from Dean and try your best to focus on Ryan. Y/N smiles at something Ryan says and for a split second, you let your guard down. You threw your head back and the vein on your forehead was pulsating from how hard you were laughing.

You collapsed into the crook of Ryan's arm and he rested his face ontop of your head as he laughs as well. Dean looks away and angrily clenches his jaw. "Dude, I know you don't want hear this but she's happy. Let her be happy," Sam tells him. "She was happier with me," Dean mumbles before taking a swig of his beer.

"And you messed that up by leaving her," Jo says as she cleans the back of the bar. "How many times do I have to tell you that I had to help Sam?" "Until you believe it, but clearly, I'm not," Jo snarks before leaving to give you and Ryan your food.

The night progresses and Ryan dragged you on the floor to slow dance. Dean's heart races when he sees Ryan's hands sliding a little lower than your waist. A little lower than Dean felt comfortable with. After a few slow dances, Ryan decides to go to the bathroom. Dean saw that as a perfect opportunity to talk to you.

You had your face towards the performing stage with your hands stuffed into your back pockets. "May I have this dance?" Dean asks as he holds out his hand. You turns around to face him and scoffed at him. "No, Dean," you tried to walk away from him. He grabbed your wrist and spun you until she hit his chest.

Man, it really felt good for you to be in his arms again. He thought to himself. "Dean, let me go," you say, trying to pull away from him. " Please, baby, just one dance," "Don't call me baby," you snap. "Alright, Y/N, I'm sorry. I just- please dance with me once." "If I do, will you leave me alone?"

"I will leave you alone and never ask you for anything," "Fine." You rolls her eyes and hesitantly wraps yours arms around him. One hand holds the back of your head and another trails down your back. Halfway through the dance, you think backs to the night Dean left.

You watched him pull out of the driveway after tossing his duffel bag in the passenger side. Your heart shattered to pieces and you fell apart in Ellen's arms. That night was seared into your brain. It was the first time you were emotionally hurt by someone else in a very long time.

Even after losing your child and her entire family, you'd never felt so much pain. You think that's because you felt completely absorbed by him. He engulfed you like the ocean over sand. You didn't even bother wiping away the tears that fell on your cheeks. You wanted Dean to know how much he hurt you.

You pull away from his chest and looked up at him to see Dean staring at her. "I hate you," you whimpers. "No you don't, baby," he whispers against your lips. Dean holds the side of your face and lifts your head up with his thumb. Ellen and Jo watches with both disappointment and shock.

Before you did something you'll regret, you pull away from him. You rushed towards the bathroom to get Ryan and nearly knocked him over. Ryan's hands fall to your hips and concern laced his eyes. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" You wiped away your tears and said, "I just want to go home," "Okay, we're going. Just let me get my stuff,"

Dean ran a head over his face before returning to Sam's side. "Wait, did he do this to you?" "No, Ryan, don't-" It was no use, Ryan went off on an angry tangent. "Hey!" Ryan starts. In a few strides, Ryan was in Dean's face. "Damn it," you mumbled to herself. You sprint between them and caught the punch that Ryan threw.

His eyebrows shot up with surprise as you holds his fist in your hand. You never mentioned that you could fight. Mainly because you thought of Dean whenever you did. "How did you-" "Believe me, baby. That's not a fight you would've won," you tell him before dropping his hand. You motions over to the table and said, "Go get your things,"

"She's your guardian angel, dude. 'Cause I would hav-" "Enough, Dean!" You turned around and shoved Dean into the table. "You have no right to come back here after what you did to me. None! You have no right to pretend like nothing happened, Dean!" You snaps and the entire bar went silent.

"Why are you even here?" you add. "What do you think?" "I want you to say it," "I want you. I've always wanted you," "Then why did you leave? And don't lie and say that it was because of Sam. That's just a cover up." Dean opens his mouth but no words come out of it. "Y/N," Ryan tries to touch your arm but you pulls away.

"You and I both know why you left. You left because you were scared of what you were feeling. So you ran at the first chance you got. You're a coward, Dean," you spit at him before walking out of the bar. Ryan calls after you when he follows you out. "I told you we should leave. And you and your stupid make ego got in the way."

"I know and I'm sorry, okay. I didn't know that was Dean," "Just take me home," you says as you climbs into the passenger side. You pull your knees to your chest and ignored the incessant chime of the seatbelt alarm. Looking out the window, you mentally check out and watched as the grass blurred together into masses of pine green.

**

Ryan leans in to kiss your cheek goodbye before leaving for work, but you pulls away from him. You decided to break up with him the night prior. He tried to convince you to take a break and not end things so abruptly. But you knew what you wanted, and you didn't want him.

You knew that Dean was parked down the street. He was trying to work up the courage to knock on the door. You bites your lip nervously as your thumb hovers over Dean's contact. You pressed the call button and brings it to your ear. He answers on the first ring.

"Hello?" "I know you're out there, Dean. You can come in." "Alright," he answers. You hang up and wait until the door creaks open and closed. "Y/N?" "Kitchen," you call out. You had your back to him and presses your warm hands on the cold surface. "I broke up with him a few days ago," you whisper.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. For everything," "You want anything? A burger? Pie? Booze? Pizza?" You turn around to see Dean a few inches from your face. He cups your cheeks and you sigh at his touch. His eyes softly scan your face in admiration. He loved everything about this woman, and scared the hell out of him.

He didn't even know if was possible to love someone so much that it physically hurt his heart. He hated feeling so vulnerable, but he realized that vulnerability and love are two sides of the same coin. You opened her eyes and leant up to attach your lips to his.

He hums lowly and trails his hands deeper into your hair. Your body fit perfectly against his and you tug him closer by his belt loops. "I fucking love it when you do that," he says against your lips. You chuckle and walk him into the counter. Without pulling away from his lips, you pull off his jean jacket and unbuttons his pants.

He picks you up and lays you on the counter top. He kicks off his pants and climbs on the counter top with you. "We're really about to do this on a counter top?" You ask. "Well it has always been a dream of mine," You roll your eyes playfully and pulls off her shirt to show that she wasn't wearing a bra.

"You're such a bad girl," he says, taking your breasts into his hands. He teases the sensitive nub with the tip of his tongue and your back arches off of the counter. You're already starting to feel a knot build up in your stomach. You've always been sensitive on her boobs and Dean enjoyed that about you. You whine when he pulls away from you.

You lifts your hips off of the counter to help him take off your shorts. He inhales your scent with a soft moan. "I'll savor that in that pretty little pussy of yours, in a little bit," he grabs a hold of your breasts again and you groansl softly, making Dean hard in his boxers. He takes his knee and rubs it against your clit, sending shocks of pleasure throughout your body.

"Oh God," you say, your eyes flutter closed. "Look at me," he commands and you comply. His hazel green orbs was slowly turning brown right before your eyes. He moves his knee a little faster and pinches your nipples. A hiss left your lips as your grip tightens when your orgasm ripped through you.

He takes off your underwear and throws them on the floor. "Come here," he says, wrap his arms around you and laying his back against the counter. "Now be a good girl and sit on my face," he whispers in your ear as he squeezes your bare ass. You shuffle yourself higher on his body. You gasp at the peach fuzz scraping your inner thighs.

He pulls your legs further apart until you are completely sitting on his face. Worrying about whether he could breathe, you try to sit up but he wraps his arms around your hips so you couldn't move. His tongue laps your folds and your body curls inward. A series of moans erupt from your chest when he flicks his tongue around your clit.

He does the twisting trick with his tongue that hits two of your g-spots at the same time. Your legs flexed and your grip on the counter was so tight that it hurt your palm. "Damn it, Dean. Please," you whimper. He sucks some of your juices as he drags his tongue along the top wall.

A yell left your mouth and your head flew back as he sucked the soul from your body. Your second orgasm took your breath away and your body slumped forward. Your hands rest a few inches away from his head. His grip loosened on your hips but he continues to lick and suck at your pussy.

Your muscles trembled at the mercy of his tongue. He dips his tongue in fast, shallow strokes and your hips move against him, begging for him to hit another g-spot. When he does, your eyes snap shut. He hits the spot over and over again until you fall apart.

You fall backwards on his legs and he sits up. He pulls your into lap and you moan when you feel the pressure of his hardened dick against your moist bundle. He pulls off his boxers and he hisses as his dick embraced it's freedom. You waste no time lowering yourself on to him.

He moans into your mouth as your walls clench around him. You softly bounce on him and he wraps his massive arms around your waist when he thrusts up into you. "I missed you, baby," he grunts. "I missed you too," you say breathlessly. You stop your movements and look him dead in the eyes. "But if you leave me like that again, I'll kill you," you add.

He slams his lips to yours and completely devoured your mouth with his tongue. He tried to pull away but you follow his lips and kiss him again. His hands covered your both of hips and you started to bounce on his a little faster than before, making sure your clench yourself around his tip.

A whiny moan left his mouth and you plant a comforting kiss against his lips. He grew impatient and carefully brings himself to his knees. He sets your back on the counter, which was still warm from his body. He plants one hand next to your head and the other rubs your clit as he thrusts into hard and deep.

Airy cries and grunts fill the room. Tears build up in your eyes as your body folds with overwhelming bliss. "Fuck, Dean!" "There you go, sweetheart." His thrusts slow down, but the continue to go deep inside of you. He bites down on the sensitive skin of your neck. His thrusts became sloppy and he releases himself but continued to buck his hips against you until you finally came.

Your eyes close and your hands cover your face because your body was absolutely exhausted. Dean's plump lips bless your check and neck when you hear the door creak open. "Y/N, you alright, sweetheart?" Ellen calls. Your eyes snap open and Dean jumps off of the counter to grab his clothes.

"D-don't come in, Ellen. We're-" "Oh my God, my eyes! I cannot unsee that," Ellen exclaims. She claps a hand over her eyes and you jump off the counter. "On the counter top too!? Jesus, you eat food on there. You guys are trifling," she scolds. "You really know how to ruin a moment, Ellen," Dean says.

"And you really know how to ruin someone's eyes , Dean," she snaps. You scramble to put on your clothes and Dean sends you a wink, making embarrassment flood your cheeks.

[wigglebox]

Neither Cas nor Dean were built for “love love”.

Dean loved his family but it was also stressful to him. He never had a permanently home other than the car and maybe Bobby’s house for a month or two before John and Bobby had a falling out. He had “friends” more like aquaintences that we met over the years but never best friends. In fact when we first meet him, he’s very alone. Sam is at a party with friends, has a girlfriend he’s living in an apartment with, while Dean for all we are told was on and off again hunting with his father. And, John is not conducive to Dean’s healthy state of mind.

We are told that in the very beginning there was a relationship that may have included love, Cassie, but it fell apart due to a myriad of reasons. There’s Lisa who he thought maybe he loved, but no, only just cared about. Not enough to live that apple pie life he craved. There’s whatever happened with Lee which was fleeting at most (and yes I’m including that). Robin, when he was younger, was ripped away from him when he went back to John following that stint at Sunny’s.

But there’s never any sense that he understands he’s loved, deserves to be loved in a non-familial sense, not out of duty or because it just came with the package of being family. Chuck didn’t create him with that part of his mind that understands people care about him and he doesn’t have to die alone.

This does change, but he still holds a lot in. It’s easier to hold it in and keep the status quo then to set things up for heartbreak. He opens up, but it’s almost all familial love. Charlie, Donna, Ellen, Jody, Bobby, Jo (almost love interest), Claire, Benny (between familial and intimate), and so on and so forth. Hence the “Love you like a brother, Cas” because it’s all he’s used to, it’s all that gives him coverage for not getting hurt because of course angels can’t love. He’s experienced heartbreak in a romantic sense already. Why in God’s name would we want to do it again, this time on a grander scale? (Yes for this exercise, I want to state I don’t think he had a problem being bisexual. I don’t think he represses I think he suppresses as a strategy and tactic to stay focused).

Little things slip in like “sunshine” and a mix tape and adjusting a tie or giving dating advice or wandering purgatory for a year and killing monsters trying to find Cas but those are stolen moments, like the glances and the almost hand holding and the hugs where WE can see Dean’s face but Cas can’t. Stolen moments because over the course of his life that’s what he has convinced himself he’s allowed or that all he will ever get. Of course, Cas has stayed around longer than others.

So you have one character unlucky in love, by design, because they takes away from the familial love pain that is being self sacrificial for your brother, living for someone else other than your brother because you’re too depressed to live for yourself. When the story master is obsessed with the sibling dichotomy, you don’t give the most depressed and suicidal one a love interest, you don’t let them understand and process love often because that’s a distraction.

And then, on the other hand, you have a character created fully to serve the story. An Angel. In real life, to save the story from a writers strike ending. In the story, God’s warrior, God’s defender and protector of his story. Angels are not meant to love or feel emotion. That distracts from their mission of being plot handlers. “Get this character here. Make him say yes to possession, jumpstart the apocalypse”. Way h over, don’t interfere. Or, interfere, but only to get to God’s plot points.

Oh but then you have an Angel that’s a little defective from the start. He has to keep getting reminded of his purpose and of who he really serves, the story, instead of what he keeps serving, the man. From the get go you have an Angel, bizarre one, one that has to keep getting lobotomies, one that keeps screwing up, one who has a mess of chaos going on in that head that’s unfocused and untamed—and then you let him touch the lightning rod that is Dean.

You have an entity that was not created to experience what love on any level is, what caring is, what a THOUGHT is without serving a higher purpose, touch the soul of another character who is just like him. Family first, selfishness never. And through that crack, new instructions come to make decisions outside of what you’re told.

The instructions are fed to both.

Both characters have an empty space where love should have been. Just because they weren’t created with it doesn’t mean the space for it wasn’t there because to love is to live. Love is needed and will always have a space in everything. And what happens when you merge these two similar characters who are inexperienced in love and who don’t do a good job at spotting it? Love grows between them. The empty space grows too large for it to stay empty.

That love helps break through years and years (and in Cas’ case, millennia) of conditioning and brainwashing.

I always found it funny after the confession in 15.18 that Dean, someone who has rarely experienced the kind of love that’s needed for his own heart and soul, was still so loving in every sense of the word, even if he didn’t know it or couldn’t understand it, that it caused an entity of cosmic energy to fall in love with him. And vise versa.

The question remains why would God or Chuck, whatever you want to call him, bring Cas back those few times. Maybe he subconsciously wanted to experience love as well? Maybe it was just good drama? Regardless, once it grew out of his control, after the first grief arc of Dean having to go through months thinking Cas was gone before showing up at that house at the end of season 7, God never interfered again. Chuck didn’t bring Cas back in season 9, Gadreel did. Chuck didn’t bring Cas back in season 13, Dean’s grief channeled through Jack did.

But it was too late. By the time he realized that this a Cas wasn’t like all the others in all the other worlds, it was way too late.

Love was there.

So the only way to get it back to how Chuck intended, is to remove the love and try to force the unloved character back into where he used to be over a decade ago.

But it’s not possible anymore because the love was there and it grew even more to the point where once you removed it, the cavern was too unstable, and the narrative collapsed. Their energy was too great once it combined and began to grow that love.

They weren’t meant to love like that. They weren’t meant to have love grow that much, but it happened anyway because it can’t be stopped.

It absolutely can not and will not be stopped.

[rebelavenger]

Destiel Wedding Headcanons

Hopping on the bandwaggon cuz i have some ideas in my head

- Along with the Wedding Pie, they also have salted caramel pudding. Sam laughs at it and gets Dean’s attention before loudly yelling “PUDDING” making everyone confused except for Dean who bursts into laughter.

- Jack also tracked down Mrs. Butters and got her rice krispie treat recipe as a special surprise. He had Jody and Donna help him.

- For the normal non-dessert food, they served bacon cheeseburgers and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, along with other foods that Dean and Cas liked.

- Jack used his god powers to allow Cas to taste the food instead of just the molecules.

- Ellen and Jo bond with The Wayward Sisters and join their female force. Ash becomes an honary member after he lets a slightly tipsy Donna braid his mullet.

- Because Dean is a manchild, they have a pinata. (without anybody noticing, Gabriel snuck over and taped a picture of John Winchester on it.) Dean ended up missing entirely, Cas barely skimmed it, and Claire completely smashed it to pieces.

[cheerstofandomfamily]

Can we please discuss Sam Winchester?

I feel the need to clarify how I'm feeling, as I've been posting a lot about my ship. I'm not only upset about the lack of Destiel, or Misha, or the fact that plots were swept under the rug.

Let's remove every single moment from this episode, except for Sam's apple pie life, for just a second ok? Ok.

What made the writers think this would make a good exit for him?

My reasons for hating this with my entire.. being upset.

Who the hell did he marry, and why was she wearing an ugly purple dress like the white nightgown Jess died in?

If he married Eileen which they have set him up for this entire season, why does she feel IRRELEVANT.

The fact that he vaguely maybe hunted? Seems more like he bailed after that one hunt. He didn't even become the new Bobby, no reiteration of "CHIEF." What was the point of that exactly? And let's not ignore the fact that if he did marry Eileen, do you honestly expect me to believe SHE would have stopped hunting?! This makes no sense to me.

The fact that he ONLY got his "freedom" and "peace" by removing every person he loved from his life. This is.. a bad message and I don't like it.

I understand grief. I get that the impala is where he needs to go to remember and feel. The watch was one of Dean's trademark accessories and now Sam has it. Yeah that fits. And I'm glad to see the writers didn't forget to give Sam a wedding ring (until he got to heaven, does that sort of thing not matter at that point?). But combine that with everything else, and it felt like Sam was clinging to his memories and his grief. This show has shown us what being unable to let go of people can do to someone's afterlife, ahem, ghosts that can't move on because someone won't let them. It just didn't sit right, but this is the least of my grievances.

The death scene, do you honestly expect me to believe that not a single "found family" member (except Bobby) had their picture taken to display on his disturbing wall of photos as he died? Are you kidding? I think there's one of his son, but not even his WIFE?! Or Jack? Or his dog?? But sure, nostalgia for his unworthy parents, instead of his "third brother" Castiel (don't get me started on Adam).

GIVE THE MAN A HAIR CUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY.

Ok I said ignore the rest of the episode for the purpose of this post, but just this once.. thaT BUTT-UGLY TIE at the beginning of the episode when posing as FBI?! Why. I'm sorry Sammy. You looked damn good with a narrow black tie, this was a disservice.

And last but MOST DECIDEDLY NOT LEAST. That Carry On My Wayward Son moment. When Dean turns baby on, I said "oh ok, this might be ok now, even after the disaster that I've seen this second half of the episode" and then... Sam dies and we hear... The song again.. but worse? It COMPLETELY took away from the EMOTION of playing it, period.

Let's just say, I smiled a bit and thought the first half of the episode was actually really good. I sobbed when Dean was dying. But the MOMENT this 'fast forward through Sam's life' started, I realized what a disastrous ending we were approaching. I felt sick. I feel sick. I tried watching it again, and I still feel... Incomplete, unsatisfied, frustrated, and frankly? Violated.

They took my favorite character and tore down every ounce of growth and independence he worked so hard for over the years.

Sammy, you will always be my king. You will always be the man who fought for everything and everyone. Who always saw the potential for good.

I'm sorry this was how things ended for you. I'm sorry you're stuck in a heaven with your father. At least you can see Jess, Jack, Cas, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Ash, and a lot of other actual fan favorites again.

I will miss you, but it's ok. You can go now, be at peace beautiful soul. 💞

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Supernatural Series Finale

It took me a couple days to collect my thoughts on one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to watch in my life. Like I said a few days ago, I cried even harder watching it the second time around. But now that I’ve had a chance to process and also see what other people were saying, I think I can finally put into words my impression of the finale. 

Buckle up, this is a long one....

Let me preface this first off by saying that as an adamant Dean girl that has said numerous times over the years that all I’ve ever wanted was to wrap Dean in a blanket and give him some forehead kisses and tell him everything is going to be fine, this episode gutted me. I fully believe that my boy did not deserve to fight so hard for so long to just die as soon as he was free. He deserved a lifetime of truly enjoying time with his baby brother, the person he loved most in the whole world.

Now with that being said, having watched this series so many numerous times, I truly don’t believe that the show could have ended any other way. It’s something that has been pointed out by the creator, the writers, the actors, and even the characters themselves in the show. Dean never saw anything else for himself than dying doing the one thing he knows best, hunting. I saw a post that discussed how this would have happened numerous times already had Chuck not been interfering in their lives, and I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. 

And Dean had been raised to never think anything of that. It goes back to Cas’ declaration that he is “the most loving human he has ever met”. Dean is and always has been a man of duty. He would gladly die at the end of a blade if it meant he saved someone from the fate his family was ‘destined’ to live. He has always cared more about other people than he ever has himself. It part of the reason that his freak out in 15.17 didn’t throw me because for fuck’s sake wasn’t it his turn to be a little bit selfish for once?

Anyway, I digress. Dean has been fighting for others his whole life. And as stated in 15.19, him and Sam were free to finally write their own story. Is it not 100% on character that Dean would die a hunter’s death? As we see in the beginning of the episode, the Winchesters could have chosen to walk away from the life then. They could have chose the apple pie life, a wife and 2.5 kids. But they didn’t, they chose to continue saving people, hunting things. They were writing their own story, even if it ended tragically. But that’s life, it’s messy and depressing, but it’s also beautiful and even if Dean only got a small taste of that, I can be happy.

I know a lot of people feel like that negates their character growth throughout the seasons, but I disagree. I think that the way this ended shows just how much both of them had grown. Sam very well could have went to Jack and begged him to bring Dean back and Dean could have asked him to. But neither felt that it was necessary any longer. Without Chuck pulling the strings, that scary, neurotic, codependence they used to hold was gone. Dean was okay with dying and Sam let him go. Dean told him how much he loved him and how scared he had been to go get him at school. Dean opened up, something that season 1 Dean never would have done. Just look back at “Faith”, the episode where Dean makes every joke in the book about dying instead of facing the truth that his time was up and Sam refuses to accept it so much that his one source to save him (unwittingly) is black magic. The men I saw in 15.20 were far from the men we met in season one. 

Coming back to finally being free, I have to talk about the dammed paperwork in Dean’s room. I’ve seen the speculation about that. But that’s all it is, speculation. We have no idea what that was supposed to be about. If they had meant for us to see it, they would have shown it to use like they showed us the “Dean’s other other phone” sticker. But they didn’t. So it’s perfectly fine to speculate about it, that all a part of art interpretation, but in my opinion, even if Dean was working on ‘something else’ I don’t think he ever could have fully walked away from hunting. This ending was for all intents and purposes, inevitable. 

For all the rest, as a writer, I fully understand the way that they chose to do this episode. Sure covid played a role but the boys had said that the crux of what the episode was did not change. There is a certain nuance to storytelling, like I posted back on Thursday and something that is probably one of the most famous lines from this show. Endings are hard. Writing is hard. It’s impossible to please everyone and even harder to tie up all loose ends. At the end of the day, the writers had to be satisfied with the story that they put out, irregardless of what you or I think. As Jensen so beautifully puts it, Supernatural is a piece of art, one that has numerous hands in the pot. From writers to actors and directors. And art is always up for interpretation. But that’s the beauty in it. 

I talked to a dear friend, @waywardbeanie after the episode and was like “I want to know x.y.and z” because a part of me wanted all the answers from them. I’ve always been a person so very deeply rooted in canon (I know as a fanfic author that sounds weird but stay with me). I trust the information given to me and take it as face value. I seen my stories as an extension to canon, not trying to rewrite it. So it took me a few days, and more conversations with other fans of the show, like @winchest09 , to understand that the facts left out of the final were most likely intentional. 

This is a show that has such a passionate and loving (mostly) fandom. Together we have done so much good for the world, and that is something even if you hated the finale, you can’t take back. The writers left the ending open for us, to write our own stories, whether it’s just your thoughts or if you actually write a piece of fanfiction. There is so little about what happens after Sam leaves, presumably for Austin (don’t even get me started on the essence of that cause I might cry again), because it’s our job to decide. Did Sam quite hunting all together or was he a pseudo Bobby, manning the phones for other hunters? Did he finally go to law school or end up getting some other mundane job? Who was his wife or girlfriend or baby momma in the background? Was it Eileen? If not did she know about his life? One could drive themselves crazy answering these questions, and it’s your right to do so however it will make you happy. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter to the story. 

At the end of the day, what mattered was the peace that the boys found together, in heaven. Sure Dean missed Sammy when he first got there, but he didn’t fuss, because as Bobby said “he would be along”. So Dean did what he’s always done, he took a drive in Baby, and Sam was there when he finally brought her to a stop. In the end their story ended just as it had started, our boys together. 

And I know a lot of people are angry because one of the big themes this show touched on was that family doesn’t end in blood. And I agree wholeheartedly that I would have loved more familiar faces or even the mention of them (I screamed when Donna was mentioned), but at the end of the day, something Eric Kripke has been saying since season one, this show is and always has been about the brothers and their relationship. I in no way think that this negates the family they found along the way or how they could not have done a lot of it without them but, it’s not their story. I’m sorry but it’s true. 

It’s not about Cas, Jack, Bobby, Crowley, Ellen, Jo, Mary, Eileen, etc. It’s about Sam and Dean and it sucks that people can’t let that go, but I get it. I can’t imagine putting so much time into something to let something like that ruin the whole experience for you. I hope that you can find peace eventually. I guess that’s my blessing, that I never really cared for anyone besides Dean. Which isn’t to say I didn’t like characters but what happened to them never mattered to me, as bitchy as that sounds. 

I’m at peace with this ending, no matter how much it hurts me. And I think it’s just the finality of it that hurts. Jensen and Jared and Kripke are satisfied with their little show that could and that’s what matters most to me. Because those are the real people with real feelings that I care about. 

So there you have it. I have zero tolerance for negativity, so please keep your comments off this posts. You are free to your opinion but I don’t want to see it and put any seed of doubt in my acceptance of this ending. I’ll be the first to admit I’m too easily swayed, ha!

But if you need to talk, my inbox is always open. I’m still coping with the loss of this show and everything that comes with it. I don’t do well with change or facing my own mortality, something that has rattle me these past few days. I feel a million years older and that scares me. So know your feelings are valid and I’m here. 

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Mortal One, With The Sun in His Hands

Author: universalsatan

Artist: Artmetica

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel. Minor: Brief Dean Winchester/Benny Lafitte, John Winchester/Mary Campbell, Sam Winchester/Gabriel, Jo Harvelle/Charlie Bradbury, Bobby Singer/Ellen Harvelle.

Length: 130000

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Minor Character Death, Sexual Content, Torture, Alcohol Consumption, Period-Typical Smoking, Herd Animal Death.

Tags: Western, Historical Fantasy, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Idiots In Love, Multiple Offense Hurt/Comfort, Plot-Heavy, Cowboys, Dean Winchester is Emotionally Constipated, Initially Inspired By S6E18 Fronteirland.

Posting Date: November 12, 2020

Summary: Cowhand Dean Winchester is notorious for risky gambles, rightfully proud of his horse Impala (who has the prettiest speckle in the West), and stubbornly certain that his life is in apple-pie order. His comfortable existence crumbles apart when he’s saved from a fire-and-brimstone death by a mysterious wanderer he discovers to be the infamous White Bandit, mythical Angel of the Desert. While his savior is as fearsome as the legends say, Dean can’t help but draw closer to the quiet and endearing man the real Bandit turns out to be… even if he doesn’t yet realize they’re the same person.  This time, Dean may have to reach out to the flame instead of recoil.

Excerpt: There’s a small part of Dean that wants to fear the White Bandit. He remembers the night he was saved with perfect clarity, remembers the kindness in his words and actions, the stilted amicability Dean wooed from him only achievable by those with lacking social skills… he can only imagine what those icy blue eyes look like now, aflame with the power of death at his hands. If demons can ruin Dean to where he’s cowering now, hiding like a wounded animal… then what can the White Bandit do? Dean suddenly understands the fear-filled myths that surround the White Bandit. He shakes his head, shooing away those ludicrous thoughts. Dean Winchester doesn’t fear… so why would he fear his own savior? Heart thumping for what feels like different reasons from earlier, Dean pushes himself away from his little alcove, using determination to drive himself forward. He uses any surface he can reach to support himself, but with the growing silence ahead, he pushes himself further, desperate to not let the White Bandit out of his reach again. His eyes blur with… what, excitement?... at the thought of being face-to-face with the legend once more. Free and out in the open, warmed by the now-blazing sun, Dean searches his new breadth of view with wavering confidence, skipping over the bodies that lie still in the dust. He drags himself to the center of the destruction, seeing brutal gashes slashed across some corpses, and faces completely and unrecognizably burnt off of others.  Gasping for breath, he stops in the middle of the road, staring in the direction the White Bandit was headed towards.  And everything is silent. //////////////////// Beware the desert in the night, Where if you find yourself alone Then pray to God you haven’t tread Where the White Bandit tends to roam. Deep from the shadows of the night, The desert angel will descend, O God, why have you forsaken me, To rest with this cruel end? O, humble is my weary trade, And in my home a lover waits. Dishonest is the man who cries For reason of his doomèd fates! He rides atop a phantom horse, Flying faster in my stead. My desp’rate hope the Bandit steals, White while I lay bathed in red. They say there’s one who’s by his side, In time, they’ll be each o’ers demise. The Righteous Man will laugh at death, But the angel never dies. In time, the Righteous Man shall fall, And out of flames he shall arise. Only by him, can suns be reigned, For a mortal never dies.

DCBB 2020 Posting Schedule

[angeltiddies]

Everything Was Beautiful. 

wc 900~ 15x20 coda. acceptance. life after death. nothing hurt. every day is a prayer to cas.

The sky is pink, pink like blushed cheeks and sea salt and the last smudge of cherry pie on a white plate. Dean’s not sure what day it is, if days are a concept here at all. He wakes, stretches his arms to the ceiling, folds down to touch his toes. He scratches his tummy, ponders what he wants for breakfast, slips into his sweatpants. He’s never had this, this quiet peace. Life lived and loved and understood. He knows he would have felt guilty back there, down on earth, for enjoying the lazy days so much but here, he’s content. There’s nothing to stop him from simply living. And yeah, he thinks, maybe it’s ironic that he’s only now understanding how to live in lieu of his death, but he’s grateful. He walks to his kitchen, sun pours in through the window and feeds the fern hanging above the sink. He decides, that this morning is a good one for bacon, and if every other morning is good for that too, he’s not ashamed. Here, in this place, he knows he could think it and the food would appear right as he wants it, cooked and crisp and done, but Dean wants to live. To continue living. And so he pulls raw bacon from the fridge, leftover from yesterday, and turns up the heat on his stove and picks up a heavy pan and lets it rest for a moment. And then he lays the bacon down and he smiles and he thinks, this is the life. And then, as the bacon begins to sizzle, he blinks, and the first notes of Ramble On float into the room. He dances in the kitchen, because no one is watching, and because he wants to, and when the bacon is done, he savors it instead of scarfs it. And he thinks, the simple privilege to eat bacon slowly? The purest of joys. When he’s done, he dresses, a soft flannel and a pair of jeans and he laces up his boots and steps outside. The pink sky has melted into something akin to gold now, but he’s not sure the color ever existed down on earth. He grabs his tool kit from the front step, and he mosies down to Baby, and he fixes up her engine, and he gets in, just to hear her purr, and then he drives. Drives down to the roadhouse where his family is sharing stories about earth, about heaven, about what makes time spent here feel so wonderful. He steps through the doors, smiles when he sees Jo and Ellen arguing over the proper pour for a hazy IPA and he sees Bobby and Rufus playing chess, which who woulda guessed that’s a thing he does now, and he greets everyone with a big smile and a Howdy and he gets one in reply. And he takes his usual seat at the bar, orders a water, swings his feet all giddy like a kid at a soda shop, and he looks around and he thinks, this is it. Living. Really living, except….

Jo puts the water down in front of him, gives him a questioning look. 

“Somethin’ on your mind?” 

“You know.” and she nods because she does and she doesn’t push it because, hell it’s a sore subject. And it’s not an it, it’s Cas. Cas who should be here but hasn’t answered any of Dean’s prayers since he’s been here. So he sips his water, taps his fingers on the bar, closes his eyes. Asks, Hey, Cas, got your ears on buddy? And then he prays silently, to come home, to be here in this life with Dean and then he feels a hand slap his back and it’s Sam and he sits beside Dean and they talk all while Dean secretly prays in the back of his mind, and that’s how it always is. The day a constant prayer to Cas. A new life dedicated to him. And Dean thinks sometimes, at night when he’s warm and wrapped up in all his blankets, that Cas made this world for him. For all of them. For love. And if anyone deserves to be down here enjoying it with them, it’s Cas. And the day slips away, the sky turns black except the stars wink out and he gazes up at them and drives Sammy home and then himself. And he walks into a quiet house and lets it stay that way, and he breathes deep as the house breathes. He’s not sad, he just. He wants, wants more than he’s ever let himself want in his entire life. And he toes off his boots, sets them neatly off in the entry. And he walks up the stairs to his room, and he slips out of his flannel and his jeans and brushes his teeth and a hand through his hair and he gets in bed and he pulls the covers over his body and he thanks Cas for another day lived and he thinks, Cas. 

Sometime later, when the sky is lilac and free of clouds, and Dean isn’t sure what day it is, he wakes next to a warm body, sees black hair peeking up from under the covers and he reaches out and wraps his arms around him and he clings. Clings for this dear life he’s been given, and he whispers “Thank you” and “I love you” and then Cas is grumbling about needing sleep but he’s holding Dean too and Dean kisses him out of his sleepiness and it’s reckless and he doesn’t care and he wants to ask where Cas was, but he doesn’t need to. He’s got it. He’s got what he always wanted most. He’s got Cas. He’s got a home. He’s got his life. 

[inthiswhisper]

sam: all that apple pie, family crap — it’s stressful. trust me, we didn’t miss a damn thing.

dean: or we don’t know what we’re missing.

—

combined with feeling pressured once more to save people, losing ellen and jo, no longer believing in being specially chosen by god, and taking off the rose-colored glasses he saw his father through, dean is yearning again for some kind of family or purpose. and, despite thinking his powers and ruby were the right path when it was all really to trap him, sam is still content with his hunting life. so, i’m now, yet again, interested in knowing what the show is doing about it and where all of this is headed.

i said this before, but sam and dean are clearly continuing to swap what their wants are, which is fascinating given 5x12’s entire premise. when season one started, the two could not be more like how you assumed — college boy sam intending to marry jess and become a lawyer, and hunter dean intending to go out guns blazing. now, i can name too many times dean walked away from starting a family, or pushed sam to start one, even though dean wanted one. and, now, i can name too many times when sam lost interest in school and marriage, instead adopting j-hn’s outlook and finding hunting to be a more desirable path for him. 

at the start of the episode, before the swap, dean asked sam if he wanted an “apple pie life,” but sam said no while dean didn’t say his own opinion though his face said it all. after the swap, dean witnessed sam outwardly behave like dean — order the same food, drink with him, and be excited about the hunt — while he still had sam’s “apple pie life” answer fresh in his mind. so, dean watched sam close, studying him the entire time. later, it was because sam wasn’t really sam, but at the start, when he didn’t know sam swapped, i think dean was looking for something else. it likely could have been dean seeing sam as too eager to abandon who he was to adopt the same facade dean put up, or it was maybe even dean feeling glad that sam was coming around. but i think it was dean realizing, confronted with this mirror image, how different they actually were. how they appeared similar, but what drove them was not the same. in fact, sam’s feelings about his own purpose reflected what dean should’ve been feeling, yet no longer was — as if their truths and how they presented themselves to the world were more obviously mismatched.

when the episode ended with sam and dean revisiting the idea of the “apple pie life,” sam restated the same answer — it was not what he wanted. he got another taste of it and it wasn’t for him, but dean... he gave more of an answer now than at the start of the episode. he didn’t witness “apple pie life” and see it as stress. he saw it as something with the potential to grant him freedom, so he was even more sure than before that it could be worth pursuing, and that it was not completely off the table for him yet.

also, i will briefly touch on sam and dean both using “we” as if their desires are not separate from the other’s. one half of the “we” (sam) has made a clear decision, but the other half (dean) seems to use “we” as a way to indicate his heart lies elsewhere and that the decision isn’t so clear. one would hope the “we” shatters. given the finale, likely not, but we shall see.

anyway, how it all holds up later? i don’t know yet. this is something i’m sure i’ll delve deeper into as more evidence pops up, but i’m glad to know that spn’s back to poking at dean’s desire for some semblance of normalcy. i’m only now hoping i get to watch something come of it.

[ltleflrt]

Feels Like Home Ch 1 - Destiel Version

Small towns are quiet.  No cars, very few voices unless one visits the Roadhouse around mealtimes and at sundown when it converts from a diner to the local watering hole.  Sometimes the loudest thing a person hears all day is the buzz of electricity, or the hiss of wind kicking sand up against walls.

That’s what Dean loves about Lebanon Kansas.  At least now he does.  When he was a kid, he’d hated the small town he grew up in.  It was too small, barely a wide spot in the road, and he wanted to be part of the bigger world.  But after years in the army, and visiting many strange and exotic locations during his service, he came home.  The world is too big and too loud sometimes, and Lebanon’s small town silence is exactly what he needs right now.

So the sudden clang of tools is jarring enough to bring his head up to see what the hell is going on.  Unfortunately, he’s reminded rather painfully that he’s under the hood of a car when the back of his head connects with it.

Rubbing at the sore spot, Dean extricates himself a little more carefully from the car he’s working on and straightens to see what all the racket is about.  From the grumbling and cursing coming from the direction of the workbench at the back of the shop, he has an idea.

Confirming his suspicions, Jo is somewhat violently putting away tools, bitching and growling too low for him to catch any words.  Hoping he’s not the current target of her ire, he cautiously makes his way toward the back of the shop.

“Hey, I appreciate your sudden zeal for order,” he says dryly as he watches her throw a wrench into a drawer.  It nearly bounces right back out.  “But if you break it, you buy it.”

Jo spins around and pins him with her glare.  She has another, larger wrench clenched in her fist, and she brandishes it at him.  “These tools are made of fucking steel,” she snaps.  “I’m sure they’ll be fine!”

She looks pissed enough to bite through one of them, but he’s not dumb enough to tell her that.  Showing no fear in the face of her bark but no bite attitude, he pulls a rag out of his back pocket and attempts to clean some of the oile off his hands.  He eyes Jo for a moment before his eyes drift to the clock on the wall behind her.  It’s late afternoon already, and his stomach growls to remind him that he hasn’t eaten since far too early in the morning.  “You want to go to the Roadhouse and get something to eat?” he asks as if Jo isn’t seething with anger in front of him.

He isn’t surprised when she nearly explodes at the suggestion.  “No, I don’t want to go to the goddamn Roadhouse.  I just came from the goddamn Roadhouse, and now my appetite is ruined!”

“My treat,” he offers, ignoring her outburst.

“Are you deaf?” Jo demands.  “Why the hell would I want to go back there?”

Giving up on getting his hands any cleaner without some harsh soap, Dean tucks the rag back in his pocket.  Completely unafraid of Jo’s temper, and the heavy tool-slash-weapon in her hand, he steps close and slings an arm over her shoulder.  He takes the wrench, twisting until it slips out of her white-knucked grip, and sets it on the bench before guiding her out of the garage and into the afternoon sunlight.  “If you don’t go back, she’ll gloat about being right,” Dean says as a blast of heat hits him.  He’s already sweaty from working in the garage all morning, but being out of the shade only feels a hair cooler than the surface of the sun at the moment.

“She’s not,” Jo grumbles under her breath.  But her spine straightens and she shrugs out from under his arm to march ahead of him.

Dean grins after her, admiring the way the sun glints off her golden curls in an almost angelic fashion.  The little spitfire definitely reminds him much more of a demon the rest of the time.  A hot breeze sets him in motion again quickly though, and he hurries after her toward the air conditioned interior of the Roadhouse.

As Jo slams through the Roadhouse’s door, the bell clangs loudly to announce her, and he catches it before it swings shut, sighing in relief as cool air envelops him.  He wonders what Jo and her mother are fighting about today, but knows better than to ask.  Especially not within Ellen’s earshot.  He can handle Jo’s temper.  On a good day he can handle Ellen’s temper.  He’s not stupid enough to think he can ever handle them both at once.

Jo climbs onto a stool and pulls out a menu.  She glares at it sullenly, as if she doesn’t have the whole thing memorized forward and back.

“Heya Deano!” Ash calls from behind the counter.  His lazy grin doesn’t falter when he turns it on Jo, even when she tries to burn holes into him with her eyes.  “Hey there Joanna.  Back for revenge?”

Jo only glares harder for a moment before putting him on ignore.

“Hey Ash,” Dean greets cheerfully as he settles onto a stool next to Jo.

“The usual, buddy?” Ash asks.  His eyes are bloodshot, and he looks like he just rolled out of bed, but there’s a sharp mind behind that stoner facade.  For the umpteenth time, Dean wonders why the hell he’s hanging around Lebanon and not off working for the CIA or some other shady organization.

It’s not worth thinking about too hard though, because he’ll never know the real answer.  Ash likes to play up the mystery, and Dean wouldn’t know the truth if he heard it at this point.  Instead he turns his attention to filling his empty stomach.  Pie sings its siren song from under the glass dome at the end of the counter, but even with the A/C cranked up, Dean’s still feeling overly warm.  “How ‘bout the usual plus a chocolate milkshake?

“With or without the wakeup?” 

“With.”

Ash taps his knuckles on the counter.  “You got it, Deano.”  He turns and starts working his magic with the shake mixers behind the bar, and calls through the window that opens into the kitchen.  “Hey Benny, make Dean a burger.”

A head pops into view through the serving window, and Benny gives Dean a lazy salute.  “Hey, brother,” he greets warmly.  “It’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

Dean returns the salute and nods.  He turns to his prickly neighbor.  “You want anything, Jo?”

“Coffee,” she snaps.

A long sigh comes from the other end of the bar from where Ash is working his magic, and Ellen grabs the pot and carries it over to them.  She pours a cup for Jo without a word, then walks away.

Dean resists rolling his eyes where mother or daughter can see him.  He’s not angling for a slap upside the head, just lunch.

With a flourish, Ash whirls around and presents him with his shake, distracting Dean from the silent war going on next to him.  He takes a long pull off the straw, and sighs happily at the chocolaty coffee flavor.  “Thanks, man.  That hits the spot.”

“Yeah, it’s damn hot out there today, ain’t it?”

They chat about the weather, even though it barely changes at this time of the year.  But soon Benny’s pushing a heaping plate through the serving window and calling “Chow’s up!”

The burger is perfect.  Juicy, and piled with onions, just the way Dean likes it.  He digs in, groaning at the tang of sharp cheddar, and licking grease from his lips.  Jo glares at him with disgust, and turns slightly away from him.

By the time he’s finished the burger and is contemplating how many fries he can manage while still finishing his shake, Ellen and Jo have defrosted and are talking softly while he pretends not to hear them apologizing to each other.  Ash is singing off key to the radio as he fills the salt and pepper shakers, and muted clangs and clunks from the kitchen keep him aware of Benny’s presence in the kitchn.

It’s peaceful.  It’s the reason he moved back.  The quiet and peace of Lebanon keep the nightmares at bay.

But he still startles easily, so when Jo digs her elbow into his ribs it’s only through supreme effort that he doesn’t try to attack her.  She notices his aborted movement and raises an eyebrow at him, fully aware of what almost happened but not impressed.  But she doesn’t say anything about it, instead tilting her head toward the wall of windows to their right.

“Hey look,” she says, just as he registers the loud rumble of an engine outside, “someone got lost.”

Dean turns to see a motorcycle pulling up to the Roadhouse.  Gravel dust rises around the stranger as he comes to a stop, and the music from Ash’s radio seems extra loud when the bike’s engine shuts off.  Dean’s eyes trace over the man’s wide shoulders under a black leather jacket as the guy reaches up and pulls off his equally dark helmet.  Mesmerized, he follows the guy’s movements as he reaches up and runs fingers through the tousled dark brown hair revealed by the helmet’s removal.

This time when Jo elbows him he doesn’t jump at all, but it’s a reminder to breathe.  He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and turns his attention to her, plastering an innocent look on his face and hoping she didn’t see his reaction.  Of course he’s not that lucky, and he stifles a groan at the wicket glint in her eyes.  “Don’t,” he warns.

Jo shows him her teeth, more of a challenge than a smile.  Behind them the bell rings over the door as the stranger walks in.

As one, he and Jo turn to see the newcomer.

The guy stops just inside the door, and smiles shyly at the sudden attention he’s receiving.  “Hello,” he says with a nod of greeting before walking toward a booth near the window.s

Dean takes the greeting like a punch to the gut.  The guy is hot.  Smoking hot.  With traces of gray at his temples and a little salt in his not-quite-a-beard.  A beautiful mouth, and god those eyes.  Dark, maybe blue, and Dean itches to get close enough to find out for sure.  And the man’s voice, fuck.  Like a shot of whiskey, going straight to Dean’s head.

A little too quickly to appear casual, he turns back to the counter and looks down at the food left on his plate.  What the hell is wrong with him?  He’s seen plenty of hot men before.  Hell, he just has to look up and see Benny in the kitchen to find one.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Ellen take the man’s order.  He catches himself leaning slightly in that direction in an effort to hear the man’s voice again and immediately straightens in his seat.  He stuffs a couple fries in his mouth and chews despite the fact that he can’t really taste them anymore. 

“Quit being a pussy and go talk to him,” Jo says, thankfully in a low voice that only carries to him.

“What the hell would I talk to him about?” Dean whispers back.

“You could start with an offer for a handjob,” Jo answers.  When Dean chokes, she smirks and pounds him on the back, and continues as if she hadn’t nearly killed him.  “Come on, it’s a great way to find out if he likes dick.”

Once his windpipe is clear he turns a glare on her.  “I like dick, but if a dude started a conversation with that, I wouldn’t be impressed.”

“That’s because you suck at getting with guys,” Ash says, leaning close to join in on the conversation.  “Want me to be your wingman, buddy?”

“No thanks, Ash,” Dean says dryly.  “Not sure you’d be that much help.”

“I could do it,” Jo offers brightly.

“Yeah, no. That’d be worse.”

Jo punches him in the arm, and he glares at her as he rubs the aching spot.  Which is a tactical error, because of course she takes it as a challenge.  She gives him a downright evil smile, and slides off her stool, shimmying away from his grasping hands so he can’t prevent the disaster about to happen.  She practically bounces across the hardwood floors, and plunks down on the bench opposite of the stranger.

Dean groans.  This cannot possibly go well for him.

This is actually a rewrite of chapter 1 of my most popular Mass Effect Fic, Feels Like Home.  I don’t know why I feel like doing this, but I do, so here we are.

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Supernatural finale - Let’s carry on [My opinion]

First of all, to everyone who is harassing the actors, the directors, the screenwriters or anyone who has been working on the series, shame on all of you. How dare you behave so disrespectfully, when you wouldn’t even be able to do half of what they have done?! You should be ashamed!

After my ranting, let’s carry on.

This post is containing all my emotions and my opinion on the last episode of a series that I literally grew up with and some of my history with the show. 

I started watching the series back in 2006, when I was still living in Hungary. I just turned 13 when the first episode aired with Hungarian dubbing. It was back in the stone-age or at least it feels like it. 

At that time I was a season behind since we always had to wait for the dubbing to come out or for the licenses to get approved and it was a struggle really. But then came online screening where I could finally watch the series, “kind of” up to date. God, I felt lucky. 

I remember back in the day when the first season finished, I was watching it with my mother and the cliff-hanger made me so upset. They left me waiting a whole year without knowing what would happen. And in Hungary it was over a year, because they got the licences later or the dubbing took longer, I have no idea, but it was not a pleasant feeling. 

Now that the series finished, I feel a bit empty. I am sitting here, typing down whatever I feel like, after sobbing my eyes out, but I just can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. From now on I will not be waiting impatiently for the next episode, I will not be crying for the Winchesters, I will not be falling in love with some of the so called “villains”, I will not be studying each and every word and scenario that we have seen with a magnifier just to try predicting some of things as if I was Sherlock Holmes myself. 

It’s definitely a strange feeling, but here we are, so let’s get started. 

Below the cut, you can find my opinion. I didn’t want to spoil the ending for anyone, therefore it’s best to keep things hidden. 

Enjoy!

At the very beginning of the finale having no “Carry on” playing, did make me feel pretty weird, since obviously that’s what I expected, that’s what I am used to when it comes to last episodes, but we did get what we wanted, so I can’t complain.  

With a free Winchester brothers, just having this pie scene and typical supernatural humour, it just felt so idilic and relaxed. It was both very much like Supernatural, but also very unlike it. 

(Did I predict Sam smashing the pie into Dean’s face? I called it right here on tumblr. I feel like a genius. - Just ignore me, it was an obvious move, obviously.)

I was just laughing at the humour, the easiness of the episode, it was nice to see them just being, just existing like before the whole world had gone mad. But then again, we are talking about Supernatural and it was unlike the show, because they have not given us one episode where things were just relaxing, or having barely any worries at all. It was like a warning, the quite before the storm, when you are waiting for something bad to happen. 

Well, did we get that something bad alright?! I had a slight inkling on what would happen and after Dean’s death scene, I don’t really know if I wish it didn’t happen or I’m okay with it. I feel very conflicted. I was ugly crying for the whole scene. 

I don’t know if it’s just me or it was a general feeling, but was it the longest death scenes I have ever seen? I mean it literally felt like they kept digging into me. I understand, they needed to say their parts, but I don’t appreciate sobbing for minutes straight so “thank you” for doing that to me.

On the other hand, perhaps an unpopular opinion, but for me the death scene was actually a bit long. I understand why and it was a nice moment that was kind of a “must”, where things had to be said, but for me personally it was a tad bit dragged out. I still sobbed through it, so I can’t deny that it was a very emotional moment, especially when it’s my favourite character they are killing, but tad long.

Also, I did expect Dean to go out with explosions and gunfires and all the cliche big fight, but then they couldn’t have shared that loving brotherly moment and I do understand that, however I still missed his big exit. 

When Dean appeared in heaven and it was nothing like before, people locked up separately, but instead all of them were together, curse me as much as you want, but I loved that. That’s their happy place, around loved ones, around people they love to be with. I am all for it!

But here at this point came to me, are they only together with who they were very close to? Because if we would put all of the people together, such as Jess, Sam’s new wife, Dean, John, Mary, but then also Bobby was there and the place was Harvelle's Roadhouse, meaning Jo and Ellen would be there and their family, it kind of got me confused as that’s hell of a lot of people in one place. I think I will just stick to not analysing that, because it would get messy. 

I honestly loved that while Dean was driving off with heaven version of baby and “Carry on” playing in the background, we saw Sam living a full life. Just like Bobby said, time in heaven was different. Whilst Sam was living a life he deserved, Dean was barely apart from his brother for long. It was certainly a part that I very much appreciated, because we started with two brothers and I needed it to be brought back to that, for them to be side by side once again. 

“It’s okay, you can go now.” - When Sam’s son, Dean said that to an old, dying Sam, I think that was a genius part to bring back and I felt that was just the right thing to say. (Old Sam’s make up and ageing was not the best, but we can let it slide for now.)

However, I was missing the feel of the emotions while we watched Sam’s life in a montage. I feel like it was needed like this, not to waste too much time on it and having different times between earth and heaven, also because of pandemic restrictions, but it could have been better, more showing than telling if the actual 2 hours was about the brothers, not just 1 hour. 

I feel like they wanted to show us a happy ending even though both of them died, but Sam actually had to go through all the grieving and pain to rebuild his life and we missed that. Of course, it’s just my sole opinion, we can all have different opinions and I do understand that the pandemic did restrain the amount of people they could bring (back) for a grand finale, but for me it was a bit rushed.

In the end, the show ended with the two brothers, just like it started before, and whilst I did have certain parts I questioned, I basically got what I expected.

I was questioning Cas’ appearance, I personally thought he would show up in the end, but then Cas was helping Jack somewhere in the Universe and knowing he wasn’t with the empty, it gave me enough satisfaction, but once again, it was more telling, less showing. 

Overall it was an emotional episode, quite bittersweet, but I enjoyed it. 

I had disappointed moments, such as Dean’s death scene. I expected it to be more of a grand exit, more boom and guns and fire, something bigger. But then I also had satisfactory scenes, such as when the brothers met in heaven and the show ended in a way with a happy scene, a place they were together again, just being happy. 

I enjoyed this finale, even if it wasn’t perfect. I feel like with what they had they did a good job. Not the best, but certainly a good job. I don’t often cry and they made me cry so the emotions were there. I got my happy ending with the brothers being together and it was a nice, bittersweet ending to a 15 years old series. I’m quite satisfied in the end. 

After so many years, I would like to just thank all the actors, producers, directors, screenwriters, stuntmen and everyone who worked on the movie till the last personal assistants and make up artists, they have done an amazing job and created a world we have treasured for years and we will keep loving the series for as long as we can.

Thank you to all the fans, the fandom and everyone who is part of the Supernatural family in any way.

[littlepenguin21]

My notes/complaints/hope? on the end of SPN

(This was written the night of November 19th) My list of grievances against the last episode of Supernatural 1. There is absolutely no way on Jack's green earth Sam didn't look for Dean. When Sam got a dog and didn't look for him, Dean was so angry and sad that I refuse to believe Sam wouldn't at least try to bring him back, especially since Sam had no way of knowing a)where Dean went (Dean was even a little surprised to see he was in Heaven), b)about Heaven's reform, or c)whether that was what Dean truly wanted (he's lied before, remember?) It almost makes Sam look like a bad guy who just doesn't care about his brother as much his brother cares about him. I will acknowledge Dean's final wish was to not be brought back, but I still think Sam would've like investigated the afterlives to see where Dean ended up.

2. Cas's sacrifice was completely meaningless. Cas was always happy to bleed for the Winchesters, but his final time hit the hardest because he wanted Dean to lived so much that he admitted to happiness and caused his own death to save Dean. And then Dean dies. Like three weeks later.

3. Dean, the greatest hunter in the world, the man who killed Hitler gets impaled on a piece of metal and thinks, "yeah, this is how I wanna go out." There's no way that that's an outcome that Dean would've accepted so easily. Being killed in a vampire's nest that they already half wiped out. He could've prayed to Jack, or taken his chances getting to a hospital. His death had no purpose, other than to forced Sam to move on without Dean.

4. Why didn't Jack bring Dean back? I get that he wants to be hands-off, but he brought Cas back, and if I know anything about Cas, he wouldn't want Dean dead/separated from Sam. I'm going to choose to believe that Cas, Jack, and Dean sat down together and discussed the pros and cons of bringing Dean back.

5. The dog died. We didn't see it happen, but it did.

6. Only Bobby is seen. If they're in Heaven, and almost everyone (I see you Kevin, living your best afterlife) Dean knew and loved is there, why doesn't he go see them? All the people he couldn't save or that he couldn't say goodbye to, and he just leaves it at that? What about Ellen and Jo, Dean? You're not even going to check on them? Pamela? Jess? No one?

7. Dean rides alone in the car. Even though his best friend, his son (Jack, not Ben or someone), his mom, his other friends, and both his dads are in Heaven (and closeby), why doesn't he take any of them along for the ride? Sam gets to raise a family, but Dean can't have a road trip buddy? Even if the Covid restrictions and stuff didn't allow Misha or Alex or another guest to come back on set, you'd think they could've put a body double for Cas (or whoever) in the seat for a couple of minutes. It just makes Dean's life seem less important than Sam's because Dean has to wait for Sammy, while Sam's free to hang out with others and socialize. Even if time works differently in Heaven or something (like 40 years on earth was only 2 minutes in Heaven), Dean could've found somebody to tag along instead of just being a loner.

8. Sam's wife isn't established to be Eileen. If Sam had like signed to her in ASL or something, or we could've had some clue as to her identity, that would have been wonderful. Instead, she was just a nameless means to an end (getting Dean II).

9. The beginning of the ep establishes that there are very few monster cases. So, does that mean Sam gave up hunting? Apparently not because his son has an anti-possession sigil tattooed on his arm (even though with Rowena in charge, those tattoos are super unnecessary). Sam hunting could've been another moment that would've been okay to see.

10. The ep had a noticeable lack of inside jokes. Normally tuning into a series finale means you're going to hear callbacks to other episodes and be able to reminisce on the past. Besides the pie part, I don't think there was much of that. No jerk, no bitch. Did Bobby even say Idjit?!?!

11. For an episode that supposedly was written to resolve their family arc, the boys were barely together, and their created family was almost nonexistent (other than Bobby and his mentioning of Cas and Jack).

12. The show forced family to end with blood. Dean drove off to wait for his biological brother, while leaving Bobby (and apparently Cas) behind. Sam, on the other hand, marries, has a kid, and lives a full life, but too doesn't have his family network outside of his nuclear family. There are many living friends that Sam has that we don't see him visit because all the time is spent on his raising of his son so that his death can parallel Dean's (someone the care about tells them it's ok).

13. Jared doesn't really look old.

14. During his death, Dean wouldn’t have wanted to Sam to be left alone. They were in a vamp’s nest, and Dean just decides that he’s gonna allow himself to die with no guarantee that Sammy is safe. There’s no way Dean would do this.

15. Gay love didn't pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Instead, Dean died and we all got was a lousy existential crisis. DISCLAIMER: I'm only writing about what happened in the ep, not what could have happened. Like, Sam could've had dinner with Jody and the girls every weekend and Dean could've made out with Cas offscreen, and I would be non the wiser. I'm going off of what I saw and heard in the episode. This was written on the 20th 15. Dean died young.

16. The forehead thing was a little weird, ngl

17. Sam didn’t even try to pray when Dean was dying. Did he believe that Jack just wouldn’t listen? His dad was dying, there’s no way he would’ve left him to die. And Sam would’ve tried anything. Why did he think their (Cas, Dean, and Sam’s) son wouldn’t want to help?

18. Sam burned Dean’s body by himself. No friends.

19. Chuck got to live his life, while Dean didn’t.

Pros, I guess? 1. Sam does get a dog.

2. Dean really wasn't okay. He wasn’t coping well with Cas’s death and Jack’s leaving. That’s the only explanation for why he’d be willing to die. He was depressed, or at least hopeless.

3. They're all together at the end, even thought it isn't shown. And by all, I mean all: Jack, Cas, Bobby, Rufus, hopefully Ellen and Jo...

4. Dean likes Kansas

5. Dean finally got a kid named after him.

6. The Hunter Corp. Sam and Dean are somewhere, living their best lives.

7. The movie is possibly happening in 5 years

[lilyandersonn]

All Too Well // D.W

Chapter One // Series Masterlist here

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Bailey Walker (OFC)

Series summary: (Supernatural AU) Bailey Walker has spent the last year picking up the pieces of her failed relationship. Just when she thinks she is almost whole again, the rug is pulled from underneath her yet again. Her life is a mess, she's a mess, and yet throughout it all, she finds herself growing close to somebody she's spent eight years pushing away. Bailey can feel Dean worming his way back into her life and consequently her heart, but she's been burned before, can she find it in herself to trust him again?

Chapter warnings: maybe a little angst?

Words: 2949

AN: This is an AU. Pretty much everybody is alive and just living their best apple pie lives. Hunting isn’t a thing, they’re all just normal people. I don’t have a beta reader, so I do apologise for any mistakes that I didn’t pick up on when editing :)

Chapter One

“Jess, can you please stop that?”

The infuriating sound of paper flapping, which had Bailey’s clenching her hands so tightly that her fingernails were leaving crescent shaped indentations on her palm, immediately ceased. The pain was only a minor inconvenience in comparison to the unbearable, choking humidity that had turned her tiny apartment into a temporary sauna.

“I can’t help it,” Jess said with a whine, unable to resist the temptation of fanning herself and picking the newspaper back up, “maybe if you fixed your AC, I wouldn’t have to.”

Bailey, in a fit of pure frustration, pulled her sweat soaked shirt over her head in a futile attempt at cooling herself down. The heat plaguing her apartment had Bailey willing to do just about anything to escape it, and that didn’t exclude stripping off in-front of her best friend.

“I already told you, my AC doesn’t need fixing.” Bailey quipped, the sticky heat making her more irritable than usual as she dragged herself into the kitchen in search of something, anything, that would cool her down.

Unfazed at her best friend’s state of undress, Jess rolled her eyes at Bailey’s ongoing determination that her AC was in fact not broken; even though it had all the effect of an old asthmatic man standing in the corner breathing on them. It was beyond her that somebody who hated the heat so vehemently, would be so opposed to the idea of fixing the one thing that would cool her apartment down.

“You could just ask Dean—”

Bailey, who had found a bottle of water shoved at the very back of the fridge and had been just about to down it, whipped around so fast that she was worried she may get whiplash.

“No.”

“Oh, come on,” Jess said exasperatedly, hands on her hips, “he isn’t that bad. And he’ll probably do it for free.”

“Yes, Jess, he is that bad. I’d rather pay somebody than have that man in my apartment.”

Jess grinned, “Ah, so you admit you need somebody to fix it.”

Scowling in her best friend’s direction, Bailey opened the bottle and chugged half of the icy cold liquid in one go, instead of coming up with a sarcastic retort like she wanted to.

“So, I need to tell you something,” Jess said slowly, hesitating as she watched in amusement whilst Bailey chugged the water and simultaneously shimmied her sweaty denim shorts down her legs, “Bails, if you were gonna strip for me, you could have at least worn matching underwear.”

If it were anybody else, that comment would have her cheeks burning read and stuttering. But Jess had seen Bailey in much worse states, and vice versa, to the point where they would have to do something really scandalous for either of them to bat an eyelid.

“You would be lucky to have me strip for you, Hello Kitty briefs and all."

Choosing to put an end to the exchange, Jess cleared her throat and continued with what she had been waiting – no, dreading – to say, “So, there’s no easy way to say this and I’m just going to come right out and say it. Sam invited Chris to the wedding, and well, he’s RSVP’d.”

The revelation came with a grimace, as though she’d just ignited an explosive and was waiting for the big show.

“And?” Bailey asked, as though waiting for another part to the story.

Jess raised an eyebrow, perplexed by her seemingly blasé attitude towards the news. "And you're okay with that?"

Bailey faltered at that; she knew in her mind she wasn’t okay. She hadn’t been okay in a very long time, but it had always been so easy to pretend otherwise when everybody around her were so terrified of even mentioning her ex-boyfriend’s name.

Almost a year had passed since their three-year relationship had come to an end, but Bailey was still stuck in the same cycle of going to work, faking wholesome smiles and conversation with customers, pretending that she didn’t feel like her whole life was crumbling around her, and then coming home to an empty apartment to mourn a life she almost had.

One day Bailey would look back and feel nothing but embarrassed at the thought of all the time she’d spent grieving a relationship that was long since over. But that day didn’t seem to be on the near horizon.

Forcing her lips to curve up into something that resembled more of a grimace than a smile, Bailey finally spoke, “Yeah, I’m okay with it. It’s just one day, and besides, it’s your guys’ day, not mine. You deserve to have whoever you want there.”

In the back of her mind, Bailey knew she couldn’t have expected Sam not to invite Chris. They’d been best friends at one point, maybe not so much anymore but they were still friends, and so it was no shock that he would be invited.

Despite noticing the way Bailey’s hazel eyes looked slightly glassy and the hesitation before she responded, Jess chose not to push the subject. She’d witnessed first-hand what she had gone through when Chris left, and for her best friend’s sake, she didn’t want to cause the kind of breakdowns that she’d spent six months coaxing Bailey out of.

Jess had spent far too many hours watching Bailey sob, barely able to breathe through the tears because of what Chris had done to her, and she refused to be the person who brought those memories back up.

“Hey, how about you put on some new clothes and we go get a beer at the Roadhouse?”

And with that, normalcy was injected back into the room.

***

“There’s my girls.”

Bailey and Jess were both grinning from ear to ear as they approached the bar, squeezing their way through the people crowded around the pool table, where Ellen was already preparing their drinks. A bottle of beer and a tequila shot each were waiting for them when they finally made it to their favourite bartender.

Without hesitation, Bailey down the gold liquid, barely flinching as it burned its way down her throat. The concerned look Jess shot her didn’t go unnoticed as they both took their seats, but she chose to ignore it in favour of greeting Ellen.

“Bad day?” Ellen asked, watching with a glint in her eye as Bailey chugged half of her beer in one go.

Heaving out a heavy sigh as she placed the bottle back down onto the bar, “You could say that,” she said, letting her eyes glance around the room, grinning as she spotted Jo at the pool table, clearly beating her flustered looking opponent.

Although there was a three-year age gap between them, Bailey and Jo had always been close friends, all but growing up together. Circumstance had brought them together, their parents were all good friends and Bailey had been coming to the Roadhouse for as long as she could remember, but their friendship had stood the test of time.

And then came along Jess, who just slid so easily in with them, that it felt like they’d all always been friends.

Catching her eye, Bailey sent a wink to Jo, who shot one straight back at her, before focusing back up on her game.

“Is Sam swinging by, too?” Ellen casually asked Jess, as she absentmindedly wiped at the bar with a rag.

“Probably,” Jess said, taking a sip of her beer, “if Dean has anything to say about it.”

Bailey couldn’t help the involuntary eye roll that came from the mention of Dean. It was an understatement to say that she wasn’t his biggest fan, but the words that she had to describe her feelings towards him were very unsavoury.

Along with Jo, Bailey had grown up with Sam. Dean being four years older than them, she never really saw him as anything other than an annoying older brother, who enjoyed teasing the hell out of all three of them whenever he got the chance.

But that had all changed during the summer after she and Sam had graduated high school. Something shifted between Bailey and Dean – Dean no longer seeing her as just his brother’s irritating best friend, and Bailey spurred on by raging teenage hormones. Neither of them had seen the mutual attraction coming, but there was nothing stopping it.

They fell into what could be best described as a summer fling, because by the time September came and Bailey was off to college, it all came crumbling down. By then, she had developed some real feelings for him – beyond just wanting to jump his bones every time he walked through the door – but in classic Dean fashion, ever afraid of making genuine connections with women, he blew her off with a text message. And that was that.

Eight years later, Bailey still held a grudge on the older Winchester.

“Speak of the devils.”

Draining the last of her bottle, Bailey couldn’t help the eyebrows that pinched into a frown as she turned to see the two brothers walking through the front door, laughing loudly at something. Sam was still dressed in his office suit, but Dean had changed out of his usual work navy overalls, into a pair of blue jeans and a red flannel shirt.

He looked good.

Bailey immediately mentally cursed herself as soon as the thought entered her head. It frustrated her to no end that even though all she felt for the older brother was revulsion, she couldn’t deny the glaringly obvious fact – Dean Winchester was a sight to behold.

Whilst Jess got up to greet her fiancé, Bailey turned back to the bar and ordered another beer and a few more shots of tequila. She would need them if she were going to get through an evening with him.

As Ellen placed the shots of tequila onto the bar, a hand reached over from behind Bailey and took one. She didn’t need to look to know who it was – there was only one person on the planet who would have the nerve.

“For me? You shouldn’t have, sweetheart.”

“You’re an ass.” Bailey said, though lacking in her usual conviction, too fed up to entertain the little feud they had going. She took another shot without looking at him, hoping he would take the hint to leave her alone

Much to her chagrin, Dean sat down next to her, signature smirk as he looked over at her, before turning his attention to Ellen.

“Two beers and a whiskey, please.”

“Coming up, doll.”

Dean opened his mouth to speak, but whatever inevitably provoking words he was going to say died on his tongue as Sam and Jess finally joined them; Sam hugging Bailey from behind, swiftly pressing a kiss to her temple, a quiet sorry whispered into her auburn hair before pulling away.

Bailey sent him a look that said he had nothing to be sorry for, but she knew that no matter what she said or did, Sam was going to feel guilty for inviting Chris. It did make her think why invite him if he felt so bad about it, but she had no urge to question it.

The three of them began chattering around Bailey, but she wasn’t listening. She could barely focus on the sound of the Led Zeppelin song blaring through the stereo, let alone whatever her friends and Dean were talking about.

Although she’d put on a brave face, the mention of Chris earlier had really floored her. It had been a year since he walked out of her life, eyes set on bigger and better things – things Bailey apparently couldn’t offer him – and yet one mention of his name and she felt like she was back to square one.

It occurred to her on many occasions that Chris was as good as it got for her. Although not her first love, the infuriating lady-killer knocking whiskey back beside her frustratingly held that title, she really thought that he was going to be it. She saw a life with him, a good life, that she couldn’t picture ever having with anybody else.

So, was that it? Was she destined to a life of loneliness and forever picking up the pieces of a life she never got to have? Those kinds of questions often kept Bailey awake at night – more often than she’d care to admit.

Her uncharacteristically quietness didn’t go undetected by any of them – even Dean was eyeing her with an expression that could be described as mild concern. Normally she’d be at the centre of the conversation, cracking jokes, ribbing on Sam for wearing his monkey suit at the bar.

“Hey, Bails, up for a game of pool?” Sam asked, pulling her out of whatever daydream she had been caught up in.

Almost as though she was suddenly remembering where she was, Bailey blinked a few times before turning to him with a mischievous smile, “Only if you’re looking to get your ass kicked.”

The smile didn’t quite reach her eyes and there wasn’t the usual skip in her step as she and Sam walked over to the vacant pool table – Jo now helping her mother behind the bar as the usual Friday evening crowd began filling up the building.

“Bails,” Sam started once they reached the table, away from prying ears, “you know I didn’t want to upset you, right?”

Picking up her pool cue and starting to chalk the end of it, she nodded, trying to look as unfazed as possible. When Sam had asked her for a game, she knew he just wanted to get her away from the other two so that he could say his piece.

“I’m not upset, Sam,” she said with a sigh, “you have every right to invite whoever you want to your wedding, okay? Please, can we just leave it there for now?”

“Right, yeah, sorry.”

“So, you ready to get your ass kicked?” Bailey taunted with a grin, the tension immediately dissipating into nothing.

“Bring it.”

Ten short minutes later, Bailey had her cue above her head, yelling out in triumph at her win. Sam, though shaking his head at her less than subtle display of victory, grinned along with her. He was simply happy that she was acting more like herself, but for how long he didn’t know.

“Another?” she asked, setting the balls back into the rack in the middle of the table.

Sam huffed out a laugh. “Sure, you set up, I’ll go get us another drink.”

By now, Bailey was feeling buzzed, the two beers and however many shots of tequila had started to kick in. She could handle her alcohol reasonably well and it would take a lot more for her to be truly drunk, but she was getting that warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of her stomach and she swayed slightly as she walked around the table.

Maybe it wasn’t the best way to cope, but the numbing effects of alcohol seemed to be working well to take her mind away from Chris.

A somewhat pleasant mood had begun to settle over Bailey, and only improved throughout the night. Being around her friends – Jess, Sam, Jo, even Charlie had made an appearance – was all the therapy she needed.

She had beaten Sam at another few games of pool before they decided to call it quits, settling instead in their usual booth at the far corner of the bar, away from the noisy patrons. The rest of their friends had slowly joined them, bringing over more drinks that only served to get Bailey increasingly buzzed.

Bailey and Charlie were clinking their shot glasses together, before knocking them back, when Dean approached the table. Before that, he’d been chatting up a pretty little blonde at the bar – as per usual, searching for somebody to take home. It wasn’t a night at the Roadhouse if Dean didn’t leave with a girl hanging off his arm.

But there he was, squeezing himself into the booth, directly next to a disgruntled looking Bailey.

“Luck out?” she asked, eyebrows pinching together when he slings his arm across the seat behind her. He was too close for comfort, his jean covered thigh pressing up against her bare leg.

He shrugged, taking a long pull of his beer. “She has a boyfriend.”

“I’m surprised that stopped you.”

“I do have morals, sweetheart.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Not taken aback in the slightest by her comment, Dean grinned, eyes twinkling with amusement – unlike Bailey, he enjoyed their banter. “You say the sweetest things to me.”

Choosing to ignore the green-eyed man next to her, Bailey tuned back into the conversation. Charlie, Jo, and Jess were chatting about the bachelorette party planned for the following weekend, whilst Sam was completely zoned out, scrolling on his phone.

“Are we still starting at Bailey’s?” Charlie asked, looking over at the girl in question.

“Only if she gets her AC fixed.” Jess replied, grinning smugly over at her.

“I am not having this conversation again, Jessica.”

Dean, who had surprisingly been listening to the conversation, piped in. “I could take a look at it for you.”

Grinding her teeth and clenching her fists, Bailey knew she had been cornered. There was no reasonable excuse to say no to Dean, who was so generously offering his services in front of everybody. Looking over at Jess, who was still wearing the smug grin, she knew her best friend had planned this.

“I’m sure you have plenty of other things to do, I’ll be fine.”

“Nonsense,” Dean said, starting to catch onto Bailey’s hesitation, “I’ll swing by tomorrow afternoon and take a look.”

“Great.”

[of-a-chaotic-mind]

Cherry Pie

Summary: The reader has had a crush on Dean Winchester since she was 12. She’s stopped in to stay with Ellen and Jo for a bit and finds out the Winchester boys are stopping in on the same day. Jo insists that she try hard to impress Dean but the reader doesn’t want to be that obvious. Jo takes matters into her own hands and plays the reader’s wing-woman for the evening.

TW/CW: Dean x Bobby’s Daughter!Reader (Yes, again. Sorry, not sorry.) mentions of drinking beer, a swear or two.

A/N: So let’s just imagine for a sec that Ellen and Jo and the Roadhouse made it past Bobby’s death. That’s when and where this takes place. Also, yes I can’t resist doing a daughter of Bobby character. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it! I hope to have a Sam imagine up soon and I will have part one of the new Bucky series up tomorrow. Requests and Asks open!

Your POV

    I squeeze through the crowd of drunk hunters and find my way to a seat at the bar. Ellen smiles at me as she wipes down the counter, “I noticed you didn’t sleep well last night. I’ve got a certain pie lover stopping in this evening so I figured I’d bring it here and save him a slice. I promise, Jo and I had our fill, it was delicious.”

    I chuckle and before I can ask, she points towards the pool tables. There I see my best friend hustling a group of college boys. As she makes the final shot and wins, the boys fork over their money and she heads in my direction. As she takes a seat beside me, she grins, “Hustling boys who think they have a chance is so much easier than hustling the bikers and hunters.” I laugh as Ellen brings us both a beer and we thank her. Jo continues, “Ya know, the boys will be here this evening. Maybe you can finally get a shot at that crush you’ve had ever since you were like 12?”

    I take a sip of my beer as I search for an excuse for why I have to head out but find nothing. Instead, I respond, “Do you really think he’ll take an interest in me? He’s ignored me ever since we were kids, Jo. I doubt he’ll even notice I’m here.”

    Ellen swings by to drop a comment, “Honey, you can bake an amazing pie, you hustle pool like nobody’s business, you have a beautiful ‘68 Camaro that could give Baby a run for her money, which might I mention you basically built it yourself, and you love all of his favorite bands. He’ll be interested. Maybe make an entrance with that wonderful engine to make sure?” She shrugs as she hurries off to refill drinks.

    Jo swats my arm and grins, “That’s it. Once they’re here, I text you to show up. You can park right out front so he’ll hear your car. Then you can come in here and mom can give him the pie. When he asks who made it, we’ll casually mention that you did. Finally, we can have Ash pick a crappy song to put on the juke and you can change it to something you and Dean will both like and that’s sure to get his attention.” I am still unsure but she rambles on, “Not to mention, you’ve gotten hot now that you’re older. Put on a nice pair of jeans, a black shirt, and your leather jacket. Let your hair down and make sure the outfit shows your curves and he’s sure to pay attention.”

    I raise an eyebrow at her, “You lost me with the sexy outfit, Jo. I’m not changing clothes just so he’ll like me, and don’t you think he’ll read into it and realize it was all a plan? I’m perfectly fine being myself.”

    She sighs, “Fine. If you won’t cooperate, I’ll handle it myself.”

    I shake my head as she runs off to God knows where to do God knows what. Ellen stops back by, beaming in pride, “Your daddy would’ve been proud, Honey. Although, you do know he was always hoping you’d get you one of those Winchester boys, right? He knew they would keep you safe.”

    I smile as she rushes off once again. I finish my beer just as I hear the muffled sound of a powerful, growling engine. The engine cuts off and moments later, the Winchester brothers come strutting in. Jo trails in right behind them with mischief written all over her face.  

    “(Y/n) Singer? Man, I thought Jo was yanking our chain when she said that was your car. How’ve you been?” Sam says as he wraps his arm around my shoulders in a side hug.

    I laugh softly, “Hey Sammy, I’ve been good. How about you guys?”

    Dean climbs onto the barstool beside me and answers for Sam, “We’ve been good, (Y/n). So that’s actually your car out there?”

    Everyone laughs at his change of subject as I answer, “Yeah, I found the body at the salvage yard. I found everything I needed around the house and fixed her up.”

    He nods, seemingly impressed but his next sentence is interrupted by Jo, “Dean, you’ve gotta try this cherry pie (Y/n) made last night,” she says as she slides him a slice.

    He grins and digs in almost immediately. I raise an eyebrow at Jo and she grins. I get up from my seat and grab her to drag her out of earshot. Once I’m sure no one will hear, I scold her, “Real subtle, Jo.”

    She grins wickedly, “Oh I’m just getting started, (Y/n).” As she skips back over to the group gathered around the bar, I run my hands through my hair and notice the juke has started playing some crappy soft rock and I am immediately drawn to the juke without thinking. I pop in a quarter and select the first good song I come to. As soon as I hit play and do my trick to make it play my song immediately, I realize Jo has won. I also realize that the song just so happened to be Cherry Pie by Warrant.

    I decide to ignore this realization and how cringey it may be and wander back to my seat at the bar.

    Dean nudges my arm with his elbow, “Is this an ironic coincidence or did you do that on purpose?”

    Knowing he is referring to the song, I respond, “I selected the first good song I came to and it just happened to be this. So, I suppose an ironic coincidence.”

    He grins, “I forgot you have such good music taste.”

    Sam hollers over to get our attention and we look in his direction as he yells, “Come play pool with us!”

    I narrow my eyes at Jo as Dean finishes his pie behind me, “Come on, let’s see what you got.”

    I tilt my head as he walks towards Sam and Jo while pulling off his jacket and flannel. Ellen gently shoves my shoulder, “Go get your man, kiddo. You know you want to.”

    I laugh softly and pull off my own flannel to throw it on my chair before heading towards the pool tables. Within time, Dean and I have managed to win against Sam and Jo. As Dean cheers about our win, I look to Jo and find her handing Sam a twenty. I tilt my head and they both shrug.

    We return to the bar and take our seats once again. Dean elbows me again to pull my attention from beer to him. His look of confusion throws me off as he asks, “How come I never knew you were such a catch?”

    I shrug, “Because I’ve never had Jo annoyingly playing my unwanted wing woman.”

    He laughs as we both look over at her. She waves before mouthing, “Now kiss.”

    He scoots his chair closer to mine, our legs touching and shoulders rubbing, but doesn’t kiss me. Instead, he simply asks, “I know it’s kind of hard to do for us hunters, but would you like to go out on a date sometime?”

    I smile and barely contain my excitement as I answer, “I’d love that.”

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