#internal morality doesn't really play a part in what he decides to do

[lazysublimeengineer]

Isagi and his Football Theories of Personality

I knew at some point in this manga we will have an intervention of personality types attached to players based on how they play lol.

Sometimes I really think that the author himself has read numerous books about psychology such as Theories of Personality by Feist. How did I have a random thought like this? Just looked at Isagi's inner monologue about World Type Ego and Self-Type Ego.

That is the closest thing you can compare it to the MBTI of people.

At first it's amusing to read to have Isagi categorized the players according to what motivates them to play soccer. But it's also creative because the author is injecting another angle and subject other than playstyle and strategies out there in the field.

An explanation of World Type Ego vs. Self Ego Type is also helping the reader to get a glimpse of the character's motivation and reasons for playing that sport.

In this chapter, it is revealed that Kaiser has a World Type Ego just like with Isagi since in the previous chapters he couldn't ascertain which type he is alongside with Rin, Ness and the others. To get a gist of it, a World Type Ego is motivated by the external factors of their surroundings or environment such as prestige, fame, money and other tangible elements that can be calculated and explained in a pragmatic sense. From the start, reputation is an important thing to Kaiser. He doesn't hesitate to immediately assert his top and special position in BM when the Blue Lock players such as Isagi and the others joined their team in NEL. In the recent chapter, Kaiser had shown to abandon everything and go back to "zero" because his playstyle with Ness doesn't work anymore. His position and offer bid is being now threatened by Isagi's presence and skills so now he decided to do what is best even if he doesn't do it usually: teamwork with the other Blue Lock players such as with Raichi and now with Kunigami (or as the orange haired guy as he aptly calls him lol).

Well, in this part you can actually ask then what the hell is all of this and how does it connect with everything?

It's connected because this can also explain why his partnership with Ness is now in shambles and getting worse in each new chapter. Clearly Ness and Kiyora's type is not revealed yet. But well, as a reader we can prolly surmise what Ness and Kiyora is which brings me to the other type of ego according to Isagi: Self Type Ego.

According to what is being explained in the franchise, their motivation is determined by internal or intrinsic factors such as their beliefs, morally right or wrong actions and other personal factors that are important to them rather than the external and pragmatic factors. From the moment we were shown of Ness' character, his interpretation of events and surroundings around him is according to his personal values and beliefs. He makes decisions based on what he feels at that moment and that's a clashing thing to his family who greatly values logic and sound reasoning above everything else.

He decides to follow Kaiser because he sees a potential in him that no one else has and showed him the "miracle" of soccer. His interpretation of his character is independent from the other people's remarks about him being a diva and an asshole. His personal belief about Kaiser is so great as the statue of Liberty that it extended to great lengths of serving him until the end.

Which is quite ironic because in reality they really don't understand each other and their judgment of each other is distorted. For all Kaiser yapping that he molded Ness into being his servant and such, he doesn't really understand him in the end which explains his bafflement in the last chapter of the manga when Ness still declared his loyalty to him despite discarding him out there in the field. One can be the said to the other as well because his reassurance to Kaiser is the last thing that Kaiser wants to hear or see from him and fails to see the bigger picture which is now they're in this mess in the field because they're motivations are clashing: World Type Ego vs. Self Type Ego.

I remember someone asking me, but what about Reo? He's the same with Ness right?

Not really.

Isagi has put Reo in the World Type Ego because first and foremost his original motivation is to win the World Cup which is an external motivation alongside with prestige and money. Reo is shown to be a logical and strategic person well, except for Nagi when he met him. But he is different from Ness. Their situation is different.

That's why when Nagi is losing motivation to play soccer again after beating Isagi and offering the millions of bid that he can gain to motivate him, it doesn't move Nagi as much because he doesn't need it. Nagi is motivated by intrinsic factors in playing soccer and that's why he was clashing with Reo at times. This is quite evident during the second selection.

Well, I can already guess what Kiyora's type of ego is but I'll reserve my judgment on that after we get more from his character in the future chapters.

Guess this is where this ends and my shower thoughts. If you've reached this part then congratulations for wasting your precious time to read this ramblings of mine.

[raelle-writing]

DFF is such great show and I enjoy the portrayal of the characters and the plot. Although I am not much into JinPhee ship (even though their scene was hot) - meaning I won't actively search fics of them;-D. But I absolutely don't understand the hate this ship gets. Or Jin character gets? Like, did I miss something? Why there is so much hate towards this pairing? I don't get it. Or do they dislike Jin character so much?

So I think there are 3 main reasons that people hate PheeJin and specifically Jin as much as they do, and I'll see if I can explain it coherently below lmao

First is cultural differences.

I've noticed that by and large a lot of the hatred directed at Jin comes from international fans being extremely harsh, and I think it's partially because they don't understand some of the nuance of Thai culture. Which to be fair, why would they?

One aspect is that they get angry that Jin lied to the police without taking into account that the police are corrupt - both in the narrative and also in Thailand in general.

Another is they get mad at Jin for recording Non - which to be fair, really does suck lmao. But they make it about Jin recording Non instead of reporting the assault happening, without taking into consideration that the age of consent in Thailand is 15, which means that what happened with Non and Keng isn't technically statuatory rape. Still bad and awful and Non was coerced and assaulted, don't get me wrong - but that makes it slightly less clear cut IMO when it comes to the question of Jin seeing Non "cheating."

You can even see within the show that the reactions to that video are by and large slut-shaming and not "omg that kid was assaulted."

So to recap: Taking the video = bad. But I think people get a bit too self-righteous about the reasons why Jin took it.

Second is purity/cancel culture.

I'm sure it hasn't escaped your notice that in the internet age, if you make one mistake you're a terrible, irredeemable person and should be canceled forever. I think that's playing a part in this. All of the characters make mistakes, and because of that they're all irredeemable pieces of shit who deserve to die. Except for Non who is just a victim and has never done anything wrong (sarcasm).

In seriousness, I think that's part of it. And the fact that Non is SO sympathetic it kind of overrides people's sympathies for the other characters. I'm not 100% sure why people hate Jin the most out of everyone else considering he's the one who has tried to help Non the most out of the friend group... I guess they just have higher standards for people who try to help? Idk. Either way it seems to me that they expect Jin to be a perfectly-well-adjusted little hero who always does what's right and never makes mistakes. Instead of what he really is: a kid.

And last is fan favorites/shipping.

A big part of the reason that PheeJin shippers are getting so much hate is because TaCode shippers and PheeNon shippers have decided their ship is The Ship of the series, and think that Phee is just using Jin for revenge and anyone who genuinely ships PJ is fucked up, etc.

It's just ship war bullshit waged by largely Barcode stans, but it's certainly tiresome.

To be clear, I have nothing against PheeNon. I am of the opinion that Phee and Non were a cute high school romance that wouldn't have lasted because they had conflicting styles of showing affection and love (I'll write a post about it someday lol) but that doesn't mean I hate the ship. I thought they were very cute and it was fun to see TaCode on screen since I wrote MacauChay in my KPTS days ahahaha I just like the spice and fire of PheeJin better, and Jin is my favorite character.

I just wish that PheeNon shippers would live and let live instead of acting like they're waging some moral war. They were even crying in BOC's comment section on IG today after they posted the PheeJin poster for episode 9 saying "nooooo Phee is there for revenge he can't really have feelings for Jin!" It's exhausting... 🫠

General disclaimer: if you don't like Jin or like PheeNon better I'm not saying any of the above things applies to you. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, I'm just dissecting some of the over-the-top hate I've seen/experienced in fandom spaces lately.

[garbagepile]

Coming out as a typology nerd,[typing mystreet Laurance & Garroth]

There's something that interests me about mystreet Laurance, something in Phoenix Drop high.

While he boasts about his looks, he dislikes only being adored for his looks. That's also interesting. He is deeper then he seems; he cares not just for his reputation(unlike Garroth who kinda does), but to be viewed as valueable based on who he is. To be seen as more then just his looks.

I disagree with both mystreet Garroth and Laurance's typologies on the personality database honestly.

Garroth is voted as an Esfp (se-fi-te-ni), despite showing no sign of Fi.

Laurance is voted as an Enfj (fe-ni-se-ti) despite showing signs of Fi in my opinion.

What is Fi? Well to put it simple;

According to Jungian's theory there are 4 functions;

Judging functions; feeling and thinking.

And percieving functions; intuition and sensing.

These mean just that, judging is about valuing things and forming opinions while percieving functions are about how you view things.

All these functions have an introverted and extroverted version. This doesn't mean introvert and extrovert.

Introverted functions are subjective and about the inner mindscape. Extroverted functions are about objective things and the outside of that.

People like to complicate Fi vs Fe by focusing how it works in practice, but in truth;

Fe is valuing things based on shared sentiments. Caring about how they for into the group. The objective feelings.

Like how Mystreet Garroth often puts the group before himself. He also sometimes puts the group before other individuals, even when he cares for them(like Zane).

While Fi is valuing things with subjective feelings, their own morality. Finding out who they are, their individuality. Like how Laurance wants to be seen for who he is as a person, and valued for being himself.

Laurance stays true to his own morals and opinions; he doesn't want to lie about having a girlfriend, he only forgives when he decides to.

While they both put on some sort of false front, Laurance is far more connected to his inner world.

Garroth seems to have trouble discussing his deep emotions. He doesn't tell Laurance about what happened at the lodge. And we never see him discuss with Laurance any sort of emotional trouble he has. we see him tell Aphmau a little once, but that's it.

Meanwhile, we do see Laurance talk to Garroth about things like his crush on Aphmau or how sad he is that all these girls like him except the one he likes(Aphmau).

Because Garroth keeps his relationships shallow while Laurance keeps his close friends very close to him.

I believe mystreet Garroth to be an Esfj[fe-si-ne-ti] and Mystreet Laurance an Enfp[ne-fi-te-si].

For Garroth; Introverted Sensing(Si) is subjective internal sensing. It's often misinterperted as just being about tradition, but it really is about first impressions. It's perceiving things based on their inner senses. So first impressions play a big role in this. They percieve based on their past experiences. We see this in how Garroth treats Zane like he's very young. He also often talks about how things with Zane used to be, rather then how they are now.

For Laurance; Extraverted intuition(Ne) is about objective intuition. Seeing all the possibilities. It perceives by seeing possibilities. Brainstorming is a big part of this function.

I don't have a lot to say about that. It fits.

But yeah I believe mystreet Garroth is an Esfj and mystreet Laurance is an Enfp

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 102 - The Past, Present, and Future, Part 1

The Lemons arrive at their rental in San Sequoia, and the weather is about as gloomy as Ophelia feels right now. Still, it's exciting to be going on their first vacation as a family. Maybe it will make this whole thing suck less.

Xander takes Gemma back to her room for their stay and gets her ready to take a nap.

Xander: Are you going to be good for Miss Celeste? I know you will!

Gemma: 😇

Ophelia watches her husband dote on their daughter. He's nothing like her father. It's amazing.

Ophelia comes over and soothes Gemma after Xander lays her down.

Ophelia: Sleep tight, baby doll. We'll be back soon.

Xander: Are you sure you want to do this right away?

Ophelia: I just want to get it over with. I'm afraid if I don't do it now, I never will.

He nods. He can't relate to her feelings on her parents do he doesn't want to dictate how she should approach it.

They arrive at the office building for Lemon & Lemon shortly after Celeste comes to keep an eye on Gemma.

The building looks exactly the same as it did the last time Ophelia saw it, many years ago.

Xander's here mostly for moral support, since Ophelia has decided she wants to speak to them alone.

Xander: If you need me, give me a shout. Or if things take a turn for the worst, I know a guy who could hook us up with some botched pufferfish nigiri.

Ophelia: Thanks, babe.

Receptionist: Do you have an appointment?

Ophelia: I don’t need one. I’m Richard and Jane's daughter.

Receptionist: Oh! You must be Ophelia. I’ve heard so much about your internship at UBrite.

Ophelia: Oh I bet you have.

Ophelia arrives at their office door and hesitates. She can't remember everything she's been scripting in her head the past few days. What if she makes a total fool of herself?

Well, they already think pretty lowly of her. Guess things can't get much worse.

Ophelia bursts into the office to find her parents talking about an upcoming case. They're elders now. They've changed so much since the last time she saw them... she doubts they've changed internally though. Guess we'll find out.

Richard: Excuse me, just what do you-

He pauses, once it finally registers with him who he’s looking at.

Richard: Ophelia?

Jane somehow doesn’t seem as shocked.

Jane: Ah, Ophelia. I didn’t know you were in town.

Ophelia: Yeah, you don’t really get to know stuff like that anymore when you disown someone. You also don’t get to lie about it to the whole city! What's this I’m hearing about me taking over the firm?

Jane: Nice to see you too, dear. We're doing great, thanks for asking.

Ophelia: No, don’t you DARE give me that passive aggressive llamashit. Have you two seriously been telling people the reason I left is because I went to law school? What, were you embarrassed to admit you threw your own child out into the streets like trash?

Jane: Don’t stand there and play victim. Your father and I gave you every opportunity to succeed and you squandered it for a silly pipe dream!

Ophelia: I know you don’t keep up on trends because that’s too close to having fun but that ‘silly pipe dream’ made me a 2-star celeb!

Ophelia: That’s right, I made it! People love my music, and that might not mean anything to you but it means the world to me! Honestly, I should thank you for kicking me out. Having your toxicity out of my life was the best thing that ever happened to me!

Jane: Here we go with the dramatics. I would have hoped you’d grow out of this by now, Ophelia. I’m SO sorry we fed and clothed you and sent you to the best schools with the best tutors. Oh, what awful parents we were!

Ophelia: You don’t get to talk to me like that anymore!

Ophelia: Nothing you did in my entire life was because you gave a rat’s ass about me. Everything you EVER did and ever do is about status. I’m sure that’s why you lied to everyone about disowning me, because deep down you KNOW it was a shitty thing to do.

Richard: You’re one to talk, young lady. I had to find out about my mother’s passing after the fact. How could you not invite us to the funeral?

Ophelia: Gran wasn’t subtle about hating you two after what you did to me. Besides, I figured you'd be too busy with work to show up!

Jane: Did you come here just to throw a tantrum, Ophelia? Unlike you, we have jobs.

Ophelia: Are you not listening? I have a job! I’m the lead singer in an up-and-coming band!

Jane: I meant we have REAL jobs that matter, darling.

Ophelia: UGH!

Ophelia: You know what? I don’t need to prove myself to you two! I have an amazing life and I’m surrounded by people I love. That’s more than you two can say! You have to lie just so people won’t know how scummy you are.

Jane: We lied for YOUR sake, but we should have known you wouldn’t be grateful.

Ophelia: Enlighten me! How does that help me in the slightest?

Jane: We figured you’d come crawling back once your little music thing inevitably blew up in your face. We were protecting you.

Ophelia: As if. You were protecting yourselves, just like you always do.

She smirks.

Ophelia: Well, I’m almost a B-Lister, so your lie is about to unravel. Since you were doing it to protect me, and surely not yourselves, you won’t be ashamed when news gets out, right?

Jane glares at her daughter.

Jane: I don’t know what we ever did to you to make you so spiteful.

Ophelia has a lot of things she could bring up. The missed birthdays. The meals she was denied because she got a B on a test. The isolation.

Ophelia: You know exactly what you did.

She thought she’d feel like the queen of the world after confronting them, but they really haven't changed.

Ophelia: I thought maybe after all this time, you two would feel a LITTLE bad for what you did to me, but I guess that just proves how little I ever mattered to you.

Richard: Of course you matter to us, that’s why we don’t want you to waste your life! You’re our daughter!

Ophelia: No! I would NEVER treat my daughter how you treated me!

Richard: You… You have a daughter?

She didn’t want to tell them but no going back now.

Ophelia: I do. Unlike you, my husband and I will support her no matter what.

Jane: You have a husband too? It wouldn't have killed you to tell us. Do you know how bad it’d look if someone brought them up and we had no idea?

The AUDACITY of these people!

Ophelia: When you disown someone, you're not entitled to updates on their life anymore. And you’re going to look EXTREMELY bad when I’m a five star celebrity and you have to explain to everyone that you lied to them.

Ophelia: You got the last word when I was a teenager, but I’m an adult now, and you know what? I’m happy. I have the life I’ve always wanted… and it’s becoming more and more clear every day a good life for me will never include you two. Have the lives you deserve.

They return to the rental shortly after. Ophelia didn't really say much to Xander. She just wanted to get back to Gemma.

Ophelia: There's my little girl. Come here. Mommy could really use a cuddle.

Her heart is heavy right now, but Gemma knows just how to make her feel better.

Ophelia: I'll love and support you no matter what, okay? You could grow up to be a damn rodeo clown for all I care. No matter what, I'm always in your corner.

Ophelia doesn't even understand how her parents could be the way they are. She only wants her daughter to be happy.

Ophelia: I'm not going to let them ruin our fun. We're going to have a good day tomorrow, aren't we? Do you want to go to the splash pad?

Gemma: A buh!

Ophelia: That's definitely a yes!

It's time for dinner. They eat a pizza while watching TV in the living room of the rental when Xander breaks the silence.

Xander: I hope you got what you needed today.

Ophelia contemplates this and smiles.

Ophelia: I think I did.

Ophelia: Seeing my parents so old and bitter… They might not have begged for forgiveness as I would have liked, but they reminded me who I don't want to become. Thank you for being here for me.

Xander: Of course, Lemon Cake. This trip can only go up from here!

Gemma's just been flopping around on the ground during this heartwarming conversation, love that for her

[bloodpen-to-paper]

How The Owl House Dealt with Its Villain: The Retribution of Choosing Yourself

There are many layers to what Belos represents, but I believe his overall reason for being part of this journey is to be the antagonist. Seriously, that's what it is. His role is to be the big bad that the heroes struggle against... except, what does that mean exactly? Because if there's anything to take away from Belos' role in the finale, its that his place is far more deeply rooted than just wanting power and blowing up the Isles; he represents more than just a physical struggle against the protagonists, specifically Luz. What Belos truly is in the story is an internal struggle that Luz has to deal with. One that she must recognize and grow from. And if Belos' death is anything to go by, she most certainly did.

I think its interesting how Belos' death played out. Firstly, the way it physically happened; watching Raine, Eda and King kill him felt downplayed for me since they just kind of stomped him like they were stomping a weed and not a living person, but its Disney so I didn't expect them to get too graphic (bummer for us morbidly fascinated folks). It was all very tame since Belos' blood at that point was more of a muddy sludge, and the camera didn't really show Belos' final moments since his face is obscured entirely. However, the highlight comes with Luz's involvement. Belos is dying to the acid rain and Luz just... watches. Belos reaches out to her, begs her for help, and she steps back and doesn't say a word. She stares with no remorse as the others crush him to death. The scene, despite censoring, was quite dark, and what shocked me the most was not only that a kid's show on Disney actually went through with saying "yeah let's kill the villain straight up" with no redemption/imprisonment/'something else entirely kills them that's not the protagonist' plot twist, but that the one to let him die was Luz. That Luz watched him die while the other protags actually get to kill him directly. So lets talk about why Dana and the crew decided to pull that move, and what it implies for not only the messaging of The Owl House, but for Luz as a character.

Watching and Dreaming held a very central theme of addressing the moral dilemmas around seeking retribution. Often when someone seeks revenge, especially for themselves, they will face backlash. The idea of getting justice for yourself is still greatly debated in fear that it will lead to people taking it too far, or "becoming just as bad" as the one who hurt them. The Owl House took a very bold stance in favor of retribution; specifically, the murder of a tyrant. Yup, a kid's show is openly supporting the idea of murdering dictators. You'd think that this stance wouldn't be so hotly contested, but you'd be surprised with how far 'pacifism by any means' has taken root to support the idea that anyone can be redeemed, thus we should never kill even the worst of people.

That idea is exactly what Belos tries using against Luz. He claims that letting him die, which can be an indirect form of killing, would make Luz a murderer just as bad as him, as any other monster who takes lives. Luz even questions herself when she's in the presence of King's father, asking if she's truly in the right for fighting Belos and secretly hoping the Collector would kill him during the battle. That's when we have this key piece of dialogue from the Titan; the only dialogue to outright give a response to the questions around retribution. The Titan tells Luz, "hey, I can relate. I was willing to do anything to keep my kid safe, but I attacked the wrong person; dragged the Collector down here for nothing…". He's aware that Luz is afraid of making a mistake, of making the wrong move, and he assures her that he understands her urge to want someone dead to protect her loved ones, while also revealing his own mistakes in life so she knows that a good person is capable of having such thoughts and fumbling through such choices. After all, if an all power god like the Titan can make mistakes and still come out good, surely someone like Luz can. He states Belos' motivations, and how wicked they are in comparison to what Luz is doing. He even laughs when Luz asks if she's as bad as Belos, because the idea is so absurd to him.

"You assume Belos' goal comes from a genuine place."

Belos' doesn't, but Luz's does. And that's the difference. Actions are caused by motivations, and whereas some rash decisions made with well intentions can result in negative outcomes, your well intent makes you capable of growing from it and becoming better. Luz worried about being a hero, but what she needed to focus on was allowing herself to be a person. Belos wasn't deserving of her forgiveness, nor that of the Boiling Isles. A hero would have saved him, sure, because maybe there was a chance he could have been redeemed, but that was not Luz's responsibility to ensure. And she is not a villain for that, she's just a person.

Once we see the true meaning behind Luz's and the Titan's conversation, her actions in the final part of the fight no longer feel so sudden, but are now made crystal clear. As Belos lays dying, he desperately tries to appeal to Luz; "we're human; we're better than this!" And Luz says nothing. She doesn't cower away, but she doesn't help him; she simply watches in silence, not giving him anything more than she already has. This action sent a very powerful message, that letting him die did not make her the same as him; she can be better in the way she chooses, not in the way she's been taught by her environment to be. Eda's response of "well we ain't!" also feels very pointed. Eda is acknowledging that a better person would help Belos, that being compassionate in that way isn't a bad thing, but its also not bad to not accept that path and help the one who hurt you. What this scene conveys is that if someone becomes deplorable in their actions, you're not a bad person for doing what they've pushed you to do (the Boiling Isles folks killing Belos as a result of him terrorizing them). By seeking that sort of justice towards those who could be considered genuinely evil, you're not as good as you could be, but you're not evil like they are; you just are. The Owl House pushed very hard for this idea of moral greyness and I'm very impressed that yet again a kid's show is going to such lengths when it could've just jailed the villain and called it a day.

As for Luz's personal development, her helping Belos like she's tried doing for so many people is the turning point in her no longer grappling with her identity, but accepting that she has changed. She accepts that Belos is a life she is not willing to save, and I feel like that works very well for her character as showing a consequence of the mental health struggles she suffered from caused by Belos, particularly her feelings on having accidentally helped him get to where he was. Luz sort of casts aside this attitude of pure optimism that she had in the beginning as she comes to understand that's just not how the world work sometimes, and she's been through too much to try and uphold it. Its very depressing to watch from our little ball of energy and sunshine, but it shows a grounded realism from Luz that signifies the turning point in her learning to accept what has happened and who she has become.

Resorting to similar methods as bad people doesn't automatically make you as bad as them, especially when considering why you're using those methods versus why they are. This is the point that Dana is making; Luz wasn't willing to save Belos, and she had every justifiable reason for doing so. Eda, Raine and King killed him without hesitation, with their actions being painted as far more justified than Belos' because the motive does matter. Luz and the people of the Isles fought for themselves, their families and homes to take down the systematic oppressor who ruined their lives for so long. Belos hurt and killed innocent people because of his own prejudice and need to feel like some kind of god. The two are not the same, and the show makes it very clear that while pacifism and redemption are good things to want and fight for, you are not a villain for choosing otherwise. By choosing yourself, by drawing a hard line between when to be forgiving and when to seek retribution, by knowing what you're fighting for and why, you can never truly be evil. A hero, maybe not. But not everyone has to be.

[captain-astors]

5, 9, 33 and 40 for the ship asking game with Furutui?

Good evening!

5. Do they argue often? If so, what do they argue about?

Yes, but not about what you might think. Furuta has committed enough moral atrocities at this point that, everyone's somewhat conditioned to it and he could loudly declare that he's going to burn down an orphanage but it's fine because there's a couple ghouls in there and everyone would... hesitantly go along with it because his numbers speak for themselves.

"No you can't wear the stupid glasses to another meeting, no one pays attention they just stare at you" and "That's the point!" and other such discussions are frequent matters of debate, though.

9. What do they dislike most about the other? Why?

I'm going to preface this with a little line of, they dislike themselves first and each other second.

Koori hates a lot about Furuta (understandably) but not in a particularly passionate way for most things, he's sort of just too tired to feel much of anything. Most specifically, Koori dislikes the way he pretends about the outcome. He doesn't really mind the fact that this is going to end in flames, as he says he's just looking for shelter. But he does dislike Furuta's inclination to pretend otherwise even if there's some reason. Most of all he dislikes that he feels any affection for him at all, because Furuta definitely doesn't deserve it but, he doesn't think he does either.

Furuta doesn't quite hate anything about Koori, but he does dislike how he doesn't really play the part he's come to expect from any of his "Lovers". Mostly because he tends to plan for that, luring them in and then sweeping the rug out from under their feet as they scream and claim they always knew. Koori does know (perhaps only to an extent but it's a hell of a lot more than ever before) and Furuta does not like that at all. He doesn't like how the lines between acting and genuine feeling blur, let alone in perhaps the only time that the idea that it's all just to serve a purpose was agreed upon. Also it's less of an issue, but he's got internalized homophobia six ways from sunday (thank the garden) and the thought that he might actually be attracted to a guy is upsetting.

38. Who’s got a quicker temper?

(Did the same thing as last time and let a different friend say a number between 33 and 40, she went with this one.)

Oh it's Koori. To be fair it'd be pretty difficult to beat a guy who lives his life "clowning" as it were, but still.

40. Do they have any regrets in their relationship?

Multitudes. While they're still alive they regret letting in get this far. Later, in a strange way Furuta regrets not meeting him sooner. After his death, Koori isn't sure how to feel. Could he have changed anything anyways? Ultimately he decides he regrets even meeting the guy. Why be haunted by the death of two broken, terrible half-humans when you can find a third who's even worse.

[thatqueercookie]

"I'm going on an adventure!"

So, I'm playing Baldur's Gate 3, as I said before. I've decided to keep a screenshot aided journal of my adventure since everyone's game and main character are different. This will be part Tav's (my character) internal narrative, part my own reaction, and part review. I'm about 14hrs into the game. The rest will be put under "read more" for spoilers and length.

So, Tav, half drow rogue, who's first plan is always to bullshit himself into or out of a situation, get's kidnapped by a Mindflayer ship. We know this. It's happened to all of us.

The first character I encountered was Lae'zel. On first impression. I like her. She's a firebrand. And she allied with me instead of killing me, even if she doesn't seem to like me much. She said these tadpoles the Mindflayers put in our brains will turn us into Mindflayers.

Luckily we realized the "tadpoles" they put in our heads made us psychically linked.

When we got further into the ship we found a woman still trapped. Shadowheart. Now, personally, I'm not a fan of this name for a humanoid. Shadowheart is a horse name. But she's very pretty so I'll let it slide.

Lae'zel was clearly more concerned with self-preservation than do-gooding. Normally, self-preservation is Tav's #1 priority as well, but when it comes down to clear right and wrong... Well, he just couldn't live with himself if he left someone to die, now could he?

Boy, did I have a hard time finding out how to release her her though! I had a friend jump on Discord and guide me. It's hard to get used to how movement and camera angles work in this game.

Now I forgot to take screenshots for a while after this.

We fought our way through the ship, it crashed, yadda yadda. I seemed to make a connection to the injured Mindflayer as the ship went down though. He gave me this... look.

I landed near Shadowheart on the beach. And here's where I fuck shit up momentarily. At our first waypoint, there's a locked door to a crypt. And what do I do as Tav, the show-off? I pick the lock. And I take us somewhere we're really not supposed to be yet. Instantly, there are traps everywhere. Perception rolls caught most of them but, damn. I disarm the traps.

Further into the crypt we find a door with no handle and no lock that has a voice coming from behind it. I have no clue how to open it nor can I find a puzzle, a spell, or a key. I give up and take us further into the temple. It isn't until we're past the monk's corpses and I've pushed a button I really shouldn't have pushed and a horde (and I mean a HORDE) of undead were lunging at us and the screen said OUTMATCHED that I realized how bad I'd screwed up.

I reloaded from a previous save but got lost again and encountered some thieves fighting over loot in a chapel. Naturally, they engaged. By the time I'd lost the battle 4 times, I'd done the math and realized this fight couldn't be won by two people.

Anyway, I consulted a guide and found out I was doing the Wilderness backwards.

I doubled back and met up with Astarion on the cliffside. Now, I really wish I got screenshots here but I forgot.

He'd cornered one of the Brains and he wanted me to kill it for him.

I said, "You look capable enough, do it yourself"

The second I turn he attacks me. Holds a knife to my throat. Oh, but you couldn't do that to the brain?

I deftly roll away from him. I explain to him what's happened to all of us and now he's kinda flirty. Well, knife to the throat is gay first base.

I wouldn't find out what second base was for him until later.

In the crashed ship we came across a dying Mindflayer. I actually felt sorry for it for a moment. Maybe it was the look it gave me as the ship crashed. I could sense its thoughts through the worm in my head. But it was manipulating me. I'm sure. So, I put it out of it's misery.

We found Gale in a portal on a cliffside. I can already tell this guy will be good for morale. Despite Astarion's reaction to him.

We followed the path until we found Lae'zel being held captive by some Teiflings. Probably never seen her kind before.

I bluffed that they should leave her to me and they ran off. I did tease her a bit before I let her out though *pats my gremlin* (she likes it)

Further on we got into a battle with some goblins at the gates of Emerald Grove. Where we were introduced to a new ally.

That's Wyll. Blade of the Frontiers. I won't get to talk to him until later though.

Inside there was a battle of another kind. Teifling refugees versus the resident Druids.

And they're not too fond of Drow either.

We made camp for the first time and, frankly we should all be exhausted. But still we stay up to talk (which is my favorite part)

I really like how they all look dressed down as well as the romantic lighting and the camp designs.

Astarion asked how I'd like him to kill me should the whole tadpole situation go south and, frankly, I'm onboard with that idea. Rather die than be that. I chose the knife. It's quick if you use it in the right spot. That... interested Astarion? Maybe he was turned on.

Shadowheart overheard the conversation and completely agreed.

She also said that the Mindflayers told her she'd be a beautiful weapon. I told her it was a compliment. She saw right through that.

Tav flirts with everyone but doesn't expect anything to come of it. If someone actually responds earnestly, he goes dopey-faced.

Oh, but what's this? Astarion is sneaking out of camp at night? Why, whatever for? lol

The next day in Emerald Grove I ran across an urchin selling fake lucky rings. Tav grew up a pickpocket himself, so he gave the kid some advice on how to run a better scam and showed him a little slight of hand and while I was doing that HE ROBBED ME. Now I have to find the urchin ringleader, Mol to get my stuff back.

There was a bard in the grove trying to get our story of the goblin battle while adding some *ahem* flourish of his own.

I'm really impressed with the facial expressions in this game. They're very genuine.

Unfortunately, there is a power hungry madwoman in the inner sanctum. When I walked in she was about to execute a child for minor theft.

Luckily I convinced her to let the girl go but, Hells, calm down!

Now, something about this triggered something in Shadowheart. I asked her about it when we stepped away but she didn't want to tell me and I didn't want to pry so I let it be.

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

I feel like there’s a point to be made about how SVSSS, MXTX’s first novel, deliberately comments on and explores the prevalence of tragically orphaned, traumatised protagonists through Luo Binghe (both versions), and explores how that trope would actually affect the characters as people. Meanwhile, her second novel tells the story of someone who at face value has a very similarly generic backstory, but she deliberately breaks past those narrative confines with Wei Wuxian, whose identity doesn’t depend on that at all. 

Both characters have a very similar, deliberately ‘generic’ backstory – orphaned very young, grew up on the streets in poverty, were taken in by a cultivation sect but were abused by someone in power, and so on – but what separates them is their actions and levels of agency (both narrative and personal). If the value of it for Luo Binghe is to comment on and exploring its use as a button for sympathy points, the value of it for Wei Wuxian is to actively reject that use, and rather than using it as a way to make him tragic and sympathetic because of his helplessness, it’s used to enhance his narrative agency. He isn’t defined by it, he’s defined by what he does despite that.

[jerzwriter]

What if it was Tobias from the beginning? How different things would have been if Tobias met Casey on her first day, and he's the one working on the DT, in charge of interns and the competition, working with her on Naveen's case and everything else that happened in OH1 ? Do you think he would also be worried about her career, or he'd give in from the start (imaging they have the same attraction/feelings as when they met in T/C land).

Ooooooohhhhhhhh..... GOD, I wish I knew who you were because I love you for this question! lol This is so delicious to wrap my head around, I almost want to write this in the future.

It would have been messier.

First, I never bought that it was all about MC's career with Ethan, and I'll die on that hill. He wasn't getting close because of his own damage. He felt the fire and knew that he could get too close and would be burned, and he wasn't willing to take that risk yet. But, Tobias doesn't have that problem, and Tobias is more morally ambiguous. So...

I do think he'd care about her career, as well as his own, and he wouldn't want them tarnished; but I don't think that would be enough to stop him from giving in, especially if the attraction was as strong as it was when the met in T/C-land.

The flirtation would have been hot and heavy, but neither quite sure if it was just play or if the other really wanted them. That mystery would be solved in Miami, where they would have totally slept together... several times.

Upon their return, they'd both realize the dangers at play. He'd approach her to say that she'd have to be transferred to another attending, or they have to end things. Casey would be furious because she doesn't want to learn under another attending; she came there to learn under him. She accuses him of not caring about her career. He tells her it's because he cares about both of their careers that he's giving her this ultimatum. She is furious and does not see the logic, so she tells him fine, then they're done.

It's impulsive; she regrets it. They do their best to work together, and they do, but the tension is palpable. Both of them fly into fits of jealousy if they know the other is going on a date. The bond is there; they care about each other, they want each other, they've tasted the forbidden fruit, and they want more.

Tobias quits when Naveen is discovered, but his reasoning is a little different. Part of it is he just wants to be away from Casey. Unlike Ethan, he realizes that from the moment he quits. She goes to his place that night to check on him, and she is furious at him for quitting like that. They get into a huge argument that ends up with them naked on the floor, having the best sex of their lives. After, they talk and decide they have to work something out.

He doesn't go to The Amazon because he's not running away. I think they'd have a secret relationship at this point, and it would stay secret until the chemical attack. After coming so close to losing each other, they'd throw caution to the wind and go public, letting the pieces fall where they may.

God, I LOVED this. Thank you! :)

WAIT... adding this. If I were writing this scenario for them, I may take a page from Grey's. Maybe they'd meet at a bar the night before, sparks fly, they end up back in his bed after making love all night long. She shows up for her first day, and they're both like, "OH FUCK." They try the "We never met, it never happened." Approach, but like they could forget. They grow closer, but fight the urge, until Miami, then it's all bets off.

[askmalal]

You've talked about Horus and Konrad before, but what about Lorgar? Did you ever contact him while he was on his Pilgrimage? What about after his seclusion on Sicarus? If so, did you ever try to sway him to become one of your followers? Or did you let the "big four" claim him?

This is a complicated question. I like that sort of thing..

Lorgar is, as I think many of my veteran readers and cultists will know, someone with whom I've had a contentious relationship. The Second Primarch said one of my favorite things about Lorgar, when she said, "Oh, Lorgar, you know the letter of the law but not its meaning."

Lorgar was, still is, always searching or something. He wants something to believe in, something to give him a sense of self worth and purpose beyond being a genetically engineered killing machine. I do not think one can blame him: the entities who comprise the cacophony of my thoughts inform me that many of your kind go through similar questions of meaning and purpose. I suppose that's yet another aspect of Free Will.

Entities like myself have never questioned our purpose, and while we may well question our methodologies or even our own morality, we were created for specific purposes, which each of us understands throughout their existence (even if, as in the case of my siblings, they often forget it.)

Lorgar is...Let's do a small thought exercise, shall we?

Imagine that you and Lorgar are playing a game. How about a chess variant? Note the precise way in which he arranges his pieces before you begin playing, even if you, as a host, have already set out the pieces for play.

Now, change the dynamics. Inform him that you will be playing a game of assymetric chess. There really is a form of this: it's called "Spartan Chess," in the English speaking parts of your world. Essentially, one player (White, or the Persians) plays in the standard fashion, whilst the other player (Black, or the Spartans) plays in a completely different style. Allow him the courtesy of playing White - moving first and playing with the traditional pieces.

Note the way that he makes his moves: in textbook, but unimaginative fashion. Note that he seems to have read every word he can about the great opening moves of modern International Chess. But note that, in response to your moves, he is at a complete loss. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to respond, because the moves you are making, whilst legal, are completely foreign to his mind, focused as it is upon International Chess. He breaks down. Cannot focus. And eventually, declares he will never play this form of Chess again. It is "unfair." To be polite, suggest playing something different, let's say, oh...

Chaturanga. Yes, that first known ancestor of chess.

"Chaturanga," for which the ancient rules, whilst mostly agreed upon, are sometimes debated. Watch as he struggles to decide which interpretation is valid. Does the Alfil jump two spaces diagonally, or does it move one space forward and jump two diagonally? Does it move every direction but backward? Does it move in the manner of the modern Bishop?

This is, in a nutshell, the mental condition of the Seventeenth Son. He focuses upon words, rules, but never their meaning. In another life, he might have been a "numbers" person, or a stereotypical Engineer. Full of knowledge but often lacking an appreciation for the abstract. Willing to play a game but only in order to maximize his chances of victory.

This is Lorgar.

And so when approached with the simple words, "I will show you the Truth of the Universe," he asks for the bibliography... When you tell him to meditate, he focuses upon meaningless mantras and refuses to open his mind.

Locking yourself in a cage filled with books is very different from reading them. And reading them for content is very different than reading them for understanding.

Lorgar is respectful. Lorgar is brilliant. But Lorgar is unimaginative, and so he allows others to manipulate him: Erebus, Kor Phaeron, the Emperor himself, while knowing full bloody well that these entities cannot be trusted. At one point, you'll note, his loyal retainers tell him that Erebus is poisoning his mind, ruining his Legion. But Lorgar Aurelian doesn't care... Lorgar Aurelian would rather spend his time contemplating the meaning of the universe. But only if that meaning can be rationed out in written words and a consistent narrative. This isn't Faith...

It is memorization.

Thank you for your question, Little Mortal.

[skullchicken]

On the 30.04.2021, Meinhart Bonifaz Brant, at that point an unassuming spindly 15-year old human reading Stanislaw Lem's "Star Diaries" on the living room couch, goblinized into a giant. About 50 years later, he would go on a few adventures under the street name "Alberich" (you see, it's very funny because he's not a dwarf).

In honor of goblinization-day, I'm compiling all of the art and (hopefully entertaining) stories I have of mah boi and the chicago shadowrun-group - so these are going to be some long posts. Everything under the cut so I don't clog up your dashboards and cut up into chunks. If you don't want to see it, blacklist "goblinization".

Part 1, the first mission:

So, why is Alberich? When I joined the shadowrun-group that would start my obsession, my english conversational skills weren't that great. Mostly trouble finding words and having a really thick german accent. Since I was a bit self-conscious about that, I decided to instead lean into it. Thus Alberich was a german-born ex-museum director turned shadowrunner since he did a Very Stupid Thing and had to leave the Allied German States for Chicago.

What did he do? He made a deal with a dragon. Specifically, he sold a forged piece of art to Lofwyr, CEO of Saeder-Krupp.

Alberich was introduced into the already formed group something like this: "At the entrance of the building, arriving punctually, you spot the biggest troll you've probably ever seen, looking very uncomfortable to be here and slinking as much as is even possible. All in all, he somehow doesn't look very threatening. In fact, he looks as if an art teacher had been stuffed with a 3 meter/10 feet tall horned giant. His face lights up as he sees you, though."

So the first thing he does is shake everyone's hand, politely assuring them that it's a pleasure to meet them and yes, he is Alberich, and who are you? Ah, yes, lovely names, very creative.

For reference, this is the average shadowrun-group:

Speaking of which, the gang's line-up did change a bit unfortunately, but the ones that stayed from beginning to end were:

Speedrun, street-samurai. An adrenaline-junkie who has styled himself after anime. Very much trying to be cool, to the point that he has adopted a deep-sounding voice that's rather obviously not his natural speaking voice. We pictured it as him talking with his head on his chin. Here he is, trying to impress the fighting adept shere khan:

Elf_Queen, decker and elf-poser. An elf-poser is someone who tries very hard to be elf-like - in her case, she wanted to actually *be* an elf. She ran away from home since her parents were metahuman-racists (Humanis policlub). Notably, her online and offline persona were very different. Online, she's very assertive and the guild leader of an mmorpg. Offline however, she's pretty much scared of anything. When Alberich joined the group, she hid behind Speedrun - you don't live with humanis for that long without picking up some xenophobia as well. And trolls aren't well-liked in the game world.

So the first mission: De-kidnap a kidnapped singer called Jericho. First we took a look at the bus-line she had last taken, a task for which Elf_Queen had to jack into said bus. Only three problems: A) She had to get behind a metal covering inside the bus B) her character sheet is min-maxed to hell and back, thus she has ONE measly point in strenght. Which wouldn't be a problem since she's in the presence of three pretty strong dudes if not for C) Massive Social Anxiety.

After looking around like a wet bunny for 5 minutes, Alberich (who has also cramped himself into the bus) finally catches on and goes "... can I help you, little lady?", pops the cover open and she can get deckin'. You might call this strike 1. You'll see why.

After visiting her appartment and some more investigation, we gather that Miss Jericho has been taken away into a bunraku (think brothel but with more brainwashing) to be re-programmed to the liking of her ex-boyfriend whose band she left to make it on her own (and quite successfully so). Which means we'll have to deal with Yakuza.

The bunraku turns out to be disguised as a night club. After I tried and failed to casually infiltrate the place (... I... er... wasn't a very good player at first?) we had to flee forwards, take out the guards at the door and make sure we get in and out of there as soon as possible.

In the club, almost before we made it backstage, Elf_Queen got held up by a guy bent on talking to her and froze up. Well, at least until Alberich very casually bent over the two of them and informed the guy that "she's with me". I tell you this, because this was strike 2.

Backstage, past a kitchen and into the cellar, we finally got into a room with two rows of plexi-glass cells - and in the middle, a bound spirit, a thing that feeds on negative emotions. Our muscle (Speedrun and Baba Yaga - yes, we had a John Wick in our midst. And yes, Alberich technically doesn't count as muscle, he's a mage. It's complicated) were outside, fighting off Yakuza. So it was up to EQ to hack Miss Jericho's cell open as quickly as possible and for me to make sure she wouldn't die while doing so.

After like three rounds of unsuccessful banishing (as I said... not a good player), the cell was open. But...

But.

There were the other victims.

What about the others?

Now, when I thought up Alberich, my core idea was "Daryl Whitefeather and Don Corleone having a mental fistfight". I tend to play good characters and this time around, to honor the setting I set out a morally grey character, someone who mostly looks out for himself and only indulges in kindness when he has the luxury to do so. Being kind and polite, if you think about it, is really just usually the easiest and most pleasant way to get people to do what you want. And if people are convinced you're scary by nature, seeming less so is just a smart survival strategy.

But then he looks at this little socially anxious nerd, who very much reminds him of himself, when he used to be a little socially anxious nerd, long, long ago and she says with big eyes "please! can you give me a bit more time? We need to save the others! We have to try!" and it's just... strike three. He's taken the little decker into his heart. So internally he goes "welp, I'm old anyways" and externally he shrugs his mana-burned shoulders, sighs "okay" and keeps trying to banish.

Unfortunately the spirit almost eats him alive. EQ fails to open any more gates, so they make it out once he as but 2 life points left, run into the elevator and evade the fast approaching small army of Yakuza on the way out.

Elf_Queen jumps into his arms, Alberich holds her like one might hold a chihuahua, Baba Yaga is trying to gauge their time and speedrun's reporting back from outside.

In the end, it was bittersweet. Because while we did save Miss Jericho, the brainwashing still took hold. Her last 1 1/2 years of life wiped away, she asked for her ex-boyfriend as soon as she woke up.

End of Part 1, thank you for reading this very self-indulgent text!

[cherryblossomstars]

IV. Sky (W. Ushijima)

Taken from my AO3 series of one-shots & reposted here; this part is more Oikawa centric

Pairing: Ushijima x F!Reader; platonic Oikawa & Reader

Word count: 2,305

Genre: Hurt/comfort (from oikawa)

Summary: Aoba Johsai's volleyball team has never been able to defeat the Great Ushiwaka of Shiratorizawa. Their manager, however? She can bring him to his knees in mere seconds.

Or, Ushijima Wakatoshi is helplessly in love with Seijoh's Ace's twin sister, and the Aoba Johsai VBC is not appreciative of it.

Previous | Next

Dating Ushijima is not easy. Especially when Oikawa is your best friend.

Especially in situations likes these. Aoba Johsai vs Shiratorizawa in the Spring Interhigh Preliminaries. You sit on the benches with the coaches, towels, and water bottles. Your boyfriend may be the ace and captain of Shiratorizawa, but your team is Aoba Johsai. You promised to wear Oikawa's blue jersey in support.

It took three sets, Shiratorizawa coming out as the victor. Unlike a usual sweep of two sets, Aoba Johsai almost won this time. Instead of smiling at your boyfriend on the court, you paid attention to Oikawa's bowed head.

He would not cry on the court. But you know that later tonight, when he is alone and watching the video of their match he will need a friend with him.

After quickly cleaning up the water bottles and towels, you make your way to the foyer. Shiratorizawa is out of the gym first.

Ushijima does not know how to read the atmosphere, but he can tell from your worried expression he will have to talk to you later.

"I'm sorry, Wakatoshi, I just..." You avoid making eye contact with him out of shame. He's your boyfriend, after all. You should be happy for him, and yet... "congratulations, though. Really."

He nods in understanding, he already knows who your mind is on. "go take care of him. I'll see you tomorrow." With a kiss pressed to your forehead, he leaves the stadium.

When your team finally walks out of the gym and makes their way to the bus, they are dead silent. The frustration was oozing off of them.

"Next year, guys." Oikawa perks up, slapping Hajime on the back. "We'll be at nationals next year. No doubt about it."

You're not sure if he's really convincing the team or himself. On the bus ride back, you take Hajime's usual seat next to Oikawa instead. Despite your smaller frame, he still finds enough comfort in you to fall asleep on your shoulder (even though his body is practically halfway slid down the seat). Under normal circumstances, either you or your brother would have shoved him off of you. Your arm wraps around his shoulders and your hand gently cards through his soft brown hair instead.

When you all make your way home after having a dinner with the team, Hajime is silent. Your parents feel the tension upon immediately stepping inside your house and decide to leave the both of you alone.

Rather than changing into pyjamas, you change into something else to prepare to head out. You carefully fold Oikawa's jersey, keeping it in hand.

When you walk into Hajime's room to check on him, he's laying on his back and staring at the ceiling blankly.

"I'm supposed to be the ace..." He doesn't even look at you, "so why...?"

You sit on the edge of his bed setting the jersey by your side, "I can't say."

"You're always with him. Is he just a better ace than I am?" Hajime looks at you expectantly.

"Wakatoshi is... one of the best aces in the country." You hear him grunt in response. "But you're every bit as good of an ace in your own right. You keep Oikawa in line. You even keep Kyoutani in line."

He's silent for a moment, "do you think... that I'm nothing as a spiker if Oikawa wasn't my setter?"

You frown, "what? No, of course I don't think that." You sigh, "no matter who your setter is, that doesn't change the fact that you can definitely hold your own against Wakatoshi. I don't doubt that. Sometimes a defeat is left to luck. Sometimes it's teamwork. But when it comes to Shiratorizawa and Seijoh... the both of them have skill on par with each other. It's not about who the better setter or server or spiker is. Your both amazing in your own right. Seijoh's teamwork is practically flawless. Shiratorizawa's main weapon is Wakatoshi. If he didn't have the stamina he has, they would've fallen apart years ago. Not to mention Satori's blocks..."

You continue on with your speech, trying to keep your brother's morale up. By the time you finish, his breathing is even and his eyes are shut.

You make sure to grab the jersey before leaving the room. "Next year." You whisper and shut the door.

"Hey, I'm going to Oikawa's." You mention to your parents on your way out of the house. When you get the okay, you make your way out and begin your walk. You've been to his house so often that the way there is practically muscle memory by now. You no longer have to look at signs or bring up your maps or rely on your brother to find your way to his house.

When you knock, his mom is the one to answer the door.

"Ah, Iwaizumi." She greets you with a knowing smile. She already knows why you're here. "He's in his room. I think he's still awake. Come in." She makes room for you to enter.

The smell of the Oikawa household is familiar to you. You smile, the smell always reminds you of home. You can point out everything in this house by memory. The TV stand has a cabinet with a glass door that, when Hajime was much younger, he had slammed closed too hard and shattered the glass. At the kitchen, there was a particular corner of one of the counters that, when you and Oikawa were play-fighting, he had slammed your head against on accident and you lost consciousness. Oikawa's mother had to bring you to the emergency room. You had a pretty bad concussion and when you regained consciousness, Oikawa was next to you, trying to apologize through his sobs and hiccups.

When you enter Oikawa's room, it doesn't surprise you how dark it is. The only light comes from his computer, blocked partially by his frame. He sits there, dead silent with his knees raised to his chest.

"Mom, please, I already told you-" He stops short when he feels you snake your arms around him from behind.

You lay his jersey in front of him, the #2 glaring almost accusingly back at the both of you. "Hey." You murmur against his back.

"...shouldn't you be out celebrating with your boyfriend?" He practically spits out the last word.

You furrow your brows, "I can't come over and make sure my friend is okay?"

"I'm fine. I have next year. I'll win. Go congratulate Ushiwaka. He's the winner, you don't have any business here." He doesn't turn back to face you. The video continues to play.

Your heart sinks. You release him from your hold. "Tooru-"

"Go!" He yells. The venom in his voice is clear. "Shiratorizawa won. Ushiwaka's the winner. You don't have to be here! We didn't win. Just leave!"

"I want to be here!" You shout back, trying to keep the tears from falling.

"Why?" He finally, finally turns to you.

There it is. You knew he would cry. "You shouldn't be alone, Tooru, and you're my friend is it so bad to want to make sure you're doing okay?"

"I- How- How can you still call me your friend?" He's glaring at you.

"Excuse me?"

"You're dating that bastard Ushiwaka. How can you date someone wh-"

"Do not turn this on me, Oikawa." Your tears fall freely now, "that's not fair. Don't you dare bring my relationship into this. That's low, even for you."

"Why not?! How can you like him?! You're our manager, for god's sake! Why don't you just go to Shiratorizawa? Huh?" His words cut deep.

You open your mouth to say something. When your voice cracks instead, you decide it's pointless to argue with Oikawa when he's like this. You leave without another word.

The volleyball team immediately knows something is wrong when you don't sit with the third years during lunch like usual. Instead, you sit quietly with your other friends in the lunchroom. To add to the confusion, Oikawa is very clearly in a bad mood and quickly shoveling down his food and ignoring the conversation before leaving and going outside to grab a volleyball and practice his sets.

When they turn to Hajime, he simply shrugs in confusion. He's not sure what's happening either.

Oikawa's serves are much more powerful, but lack any control. He keeps setting a little too high, putting too much power behind them. He doesn't speak.

You come to practice and do the bare minimum. You write and hand out towels and water bottles to everyone (excluding Oikawa). You don't care, he could call you petty. He's an asshole. You also don't speak.

"Iwaizumi." Your coach calls over one day. Both you and your brother turn to look at him. "Hajime."

He nods and runs over.

"What's wrong with those two?" He points at you and Oikawa.

Hajime shrugs, "I don't know."

"Can you fix it?"

"The situation will probably fix itself, coach. [Name] has a date with Ushijima today and Oikawa's probably already started to get antsy since he hasn't been talking to my sister recently."

The coach nods in understanding. "Oikawa and Iwaizumi seem a little unstable right now, so until they both solve their problem, I need you to..."

Ushijima wasn't sure what to expect on this date. He knew you were upset, sure. He knew what Oikawa had done, of course. He just thought it would blow over by the time the both of you went out to the park.

Admittedly, he thought it did. The date went smoothly, but by the time it was time to go home and you both stood at your driveway, your tears wouldn't stop flowing.

He pulled you into an awkward hug (after a small internal debate), rubbing your back as you sobbed freely. "I don- Wh- Oika- He-" You blabbed pathetically. You couldn't even form a coherent word.

Several minutes had passed when you finally calmed down. "Ah, I'm sorry, Toshi... Your clothes..." You cringed at the sight of the dark spots on his shirt where your tears had fallen.

He shakes his head, "I don't care. Don't apologize."

Before you can say anything else, you hear someone clear their throat behind you.

Lo and behold, Oikawa stood there next to your brother. You'd never seen him look so uncomfortable before.

Ushijima gives you a nod of encouragement before he makes his way to leave. Hajime slaps Oikawa, pushing him forward and towards you and heads inside to your house.

You and the subject of your distress are left alone.

"I-" The both of you begin. You quiet down, letting him go first.

"[Name], I... Uh..." He's nervous, that much you can tell. "You're one of my best friends. I just... I don't think we should be friends anymore if I can't even keep my promise to you. I told you I would make it to nationals this year, and I couldn't even do that. I asked you to wear my jersey because I was so confident we'd win and..." He looks at you with a pained smile, "and we didn't. Pretty humiliating, huh? Sorry I put you through that."

Oikawa Tooru is not a genius. What he lacks, he's made up for through hard work. His bad knee can attest to that. He comes off as having an inflated ego, when it's really just the opposite. He's the most insecure person you've ever met. He's a perfectionist who knows that he can't be perfect. His drive to become the best is a result of knowing that he isn't the best and he likely never will be.

Your heart breaks.

"I don't care about whether or not you won, Tooru. I care about you. Wakatoshi can win hundreds of matches but that doesn't make you any worse. I didn't wear your jersey because of your promise, I wore it because I wanted to support you. You're the best at what you do. You taught me to set. You held me when I cried. You played with me when I was bored and you tutored me when I was failing classes. I'm not your friend because you're a great volleyball player, I'm your friend because you're a great person. I want to be there for you, so please just let me. You've always been there for me, let me return the favor. Your value to me doesn't depend on volleyball."

"...When I..." He steps towards you, enveloping you in his warmth with a hug. "When I think back on everything that's made me who I am today, everything that has made me do what I do and love what I love, you and Iwa-chan are always standing next to me in those memories. So I... I just wanted to go to nationals while we're all still together. I'm sorry I lashed out at you. I'm sorry I couldn't achieve what I've been promising for years now. Next year will be different. We'll win. And even if we don't..." He steps back from you, holding you by your shoulders at arm's length, "I'll go pro. And then you can cheer for me while I win every game from that point on."

You laugh, "I look forward to it, Tooru. Until then, do you think you can handle another loss?"

He tilts his head in confusion.

"I know you're a sore loser and you're sulking and all, but I'm still gonna kick your ass at Street Fighter."

"I'm not sulking! Iwa-chan! Your sister's being mean to me!"

"I am not! You're just pouty!"

"Pouty?! We'll see who's pouting when I beat you at Street Fighter."

Iwaizumi opens the door, "the both of you'd better shut the hell up before I lock you both outside."

"Eheh... Sorry, Iwa-chan."

"Sorry, Hajime..."

Fin.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 42 - watching notes

I was up playing partygames over discord until 3 am yesterday, so I didn't get to watch another episode. I complained about it to my friends, which in turn made them complain that I sounded like I would rather watch my "gay chinese fantasy show" than spent time with them. I contemplated saying yes, but decided to keep my friend instead :D

And we were currently in the middle of a confrontation with Jiggy (as I've been informed he's called ... what? ^^) who apparently murdered his son to keep some secret, which with how this shows is going, I wouldn't be surprised is them going full game of thrones and ... you know what I'm talking about

Oh right, Su She is there

He's the Jin Zixun to my wei Wuxian. As in, I can never remember his name or why I should care 🤷‍♀️

(But thus time I DO remember who he is. That is, after lwj said his name ^^)

I'm so sure that jgy hit all evidence by now, btw

Okay, no. his wife is still there

Su She might be an asshole but his hair piece is gorgeous :D

What does it say about me that my first thought about that dagger was COOL!!! 😱😱😱

How dare you take Wen Qing's name in vain! 🤬

😱

I thought she'd stab him!!! Not herself :'(

I'm a bit surprised that with 5 cultivators in the room, no one does more to save her

Oh, JGY is a damn good actor!! I mean we knew that before, but now his apparent confusion and grieve for his wife seems even more (dare I quote lwj?) shameless

Lan Xichen, i know you love him but ...

Fun fact: In German, we call fake tears "Krokodilstränen". Literal translation: "crocodile tears"

That's what this is 😐

Especially about the nie Mingjue

Poor Nie Huaisang 💔💔💔

"Taking the head. Who in the world would have done such an insane act?" GEE, I WONDER ...

Sorry, I still find jgy fascinating, but this is so uncomfortable to watch, knowing at least part of what really happened 🙈

Lord, give me the power to murder people with one gaze like Lan Wangji 🙏

This whole conversation is so supremely uncomfortable

I'm still unsure if Jin Guangyao really doesn't suspect that "Mo Xuanyu" isn't who he says he is or if it's just a very convincing act 🤨

Favourite trope: Hanguang Jun, Yiling Laozou's knight in shining armour

First of all: Hot

Second of all: Lwj internally: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TOUCH HIM I ONLY JUST GOT HIM BACK AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN MADE OUT YET

probably

Also, for a split second there, you saw Jiang Cheng leap forward with a real look of concern on his face, like his first instinct was to help wwx himself 🥺🥺🥺

HE'S USING SUIBIAN AGAIN!!!

This feels so huge! 😱

I'm weirdly emo about a sword rn :')

His cover is blown of course

And him and Jin ling just had a good relationship :(

NHS, JL and JGY: How could it BE that this is Yiling Laozou???

Meanwhile Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng

"With the right kind of sacrifice, it can safe one who was seriously injured." Is this another instance of "we can't say this it's necromancy because censors, but y'all damn well know this is necromancy because no one falls down a cliff and then lies there "seriously injured" for goddam 16 years"?

I'm all teary eyed at lwj not even hesitating to flee with wwx :')

Jin Ling 💔🥺

Fuck you Jin Guangyao for playing at his pain!!!

Omg they're as good as holding hands!!! 😭😭😭

Of course, wax is pushing lwj away, OF COURSE. Self-sacrificing idiot!

That mask reveal was *chef's kiss* the drama! The gasps! The ... long-suffering "here we go again look" from lan Xichen :D

I LOVE IT WHEN LWJ SPEAKS UP!!

"You're wrong."

So simple. Yet saying so much: "I kniw him. I trust him. I chose this."

And OF COURSE Wei Wuxian gives him another way out

BUT THESE TWO FINALLY GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER AND COMMUNICATE THEIR THOUGHTS! FINALLY!

"Did you believe in me back then?" YES, I WAS JUST TOO AFRAID TO SAY IT,SO MY CONCERN CAME OUT AS ANGER 😭😭😭

And the single logged bridge again 😭😭😭 I adore that metaphor! And I love that they chose to show us the flashback. Because last time, wwx and lwj parted, took different roads so to speak, one the one of defiance, the other the one of orthodoxy. Neither wanted to part ways, but neither probably thought that they had much of a choice. But they did have a choice and they made it. And lwj has already expressed his regret over that. So here he is again, using his second chance without a thought.

Because lwj believes that wwx is right, MORALLY, so he will go against his clan, reputation be damned, and stand with the man he loves ... finally. He'll choose what they both believe to be right and walk with him "until it's dark" :')

And THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS SO MUCH!! It's not just that "oh they're so cute and they compliment each other so well, they must be soulmates uwu". Most of all they share a common morality!!!

I'm so goddamn amazed at this ship! This is not I was thought I was getting when I boarded it, but goddamn it I'm loving the ride! 😭😭😭

And .. just, the look in Lan Wangji's eyes ... they have 50 swords drawn on them, but guessing from the look on his face and the softness of his gaze they might as well be at their wedding 😭😭😭

He looks like a man entirely at peace with his decision :')

Just ...

Look

At

THEM!!!

They're holding hands in that last shot!!!! 😭😭😭

I'm absolutely floored at how utterly beautiful this scene is! "Romantic" seems too insignificant to describe it. It feels more like 42 episodes worth of love and pining and misunderstandings coming to their natural conclusion

My heart is so full right now guys :')

Very nice of these 50 people to wait for their moment to pass before attacking. Very considerate 😁

"Are we going to fight or not." "Too much talking" I WANT 50 EPISODES OF THESE TWO BICKERING!!! 😭😭😭

Jin Ling :'(

Noooo

No

Noooo

I don't know who my heart is bleeding for more here

Jin ling doesn't deserve to have to shoulder his parent's and uncle's pain :'((

All this supporting each other when injured? That's the good stuff

And those flashbacks ... wwx finally FINALLY realizes that lwj never hated him for his actions, he was afraid for him :')

Tbf,the guy has a sliiiight communication issue 😐

That quote about how lwj is at his side now that everyone else despices him!! That's it THAT'S THE SHIP!!😭😭😭

Oh, lwj took him back to cloud recess

I'm surprised he was allowed to, tbh

Ooh, so Mo Xuanyu knew something!

And... someone else must now know about him?

Also, I didn't realise that wwx still had a cut from the curse

I gotta take a moment to scream about HOW UTTERLY DOMESTIC AND AT EAS THESE TWO NOW ARE WITH EACH OTHER!!! 😭

XICHEN!!!

I should have known that the OG wangxian shipper would support them

But he still trusts Jin Guangyao. Not that I'm surprised

It's so weird to see anyone on this show in trousers btw 😅

"You're more than I can handle." Lol ^^

"You trust Master Wei, while I trust Jin Guangyao." Oh boy ...

I feel like this might be more of a confrontation than these two brothers had in their entire lives

Love me some detective-wwx

Poor Xichen 😔 he doesn't want to believe it

Somehow, wwx with a white underrobe makes me think "that's what he looks like when he and lwj accidentally swab robes" :D

Uuuh! The restricted section forbidden chamber!

So ... jin Guangyao somehow got this piece of music from the lan library?

But he's good! He's really good! He consistently uses others weaknesses and prays on them so that they act in a more extreme manner, but not so much that others would suspect foulplay. Case in point: nie Mingjue's death by anger and (more recently) the way he played towards Jin ling's feelings.

Aaaand another rather abrupt end in the middle of a conversation. That's one thing this show does not do well 😅

Anyway, I'm not complaining this episode send my shipper heart (BECAUSE I'M SO DWEP DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE AT THIS POINT) fly with joy!!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose 🖤💙🖤💙

[anhed-nia]

THE EMOJI MOVIE

I've actually tried to watch this several times, and never made it past the first twenty minutes or so. The whole concept--that emojis inside a boy's phone struggle for survival when their glitchy antics provoke him to try to wipe the device--is so uninspired that it was hard for me to imagine it even being kitschy enough to justify watching the whole thing. However, since its release (only a year ago, but isn't it starting to feel like it's been with us forever?), THE EMOJI MOVIE has become so notorious that suffering through it feels like some sort of rite of passage. As of this morning, I can say with absolute certainty that this experience is actually much worse than you probably think it is.

I don't even want to get that much into the "plot", but for the sake of whatever: TJ Miller is a "meh" emoji by birth, who is secretly plagued by a full spectrum of emotions. When he is classified as a "malfunction", in a series of repetitive arguments that sound uncomfortably like they're just barely skirting "the R word", Meh goes on the run to avoid destruction by his fellow emoji, who need to manage this crisis before their user erases all of them.

If that is like...not very heroic-sounding to you, then you're hearing me right. THE EMOJI MOVIE is I guess about being yourself or something, but the details of Meh's adventure are so outlandishly stupid that it's hard to even worry about the moral of the story. To my apoplectic shock, our hero's escape from peril is totally dependent on Dropbox. That's almost all you need to know about this movie, actually: That it requires you to somehow reimagine a collaborative file management product as the Millennium Falcon, or Dorothy's ruby slippers, or something. Even if I were able to accept this proposal, it still remains beyond me why a tween boy would have Dropbox on his phone. I mean, is he going to Project Management Junior High or something?

Of course, this is only one example of THE EMOJI MOVIE's inability to produce exciting, easy-to-understand ideas. It may not be surprising, on paper, that an unwieldy chunk of the story involves a loud advertisement for the money-grubbing mobile game Candy Crush. However, it's still jarring when the movie has the sheer nerve to insert its characters into a 3D version of the very-2D Candy Crush board, have them discuss the rules and mechanics of Candy Crush at length, and then have them actually play Candy Crush, in a scene that really accomplishes nothing other than exactly what is on the screen while it lasts. The audacity of the thing makes the McDonald's breakdancing sequence in MAC & ME look downright subtle.

The aforementioned scene should really be enough to sink basically any cinematic ship, but THE EMOJI MOVIE doesn't settle for less than 100% failure. Almost everything in it is so poorly considered that there isn't enough time in my life to get through it all, but I have to get *some* things off my chest. I mean, how the fuck do you take a concept like this, and decide that a whole bunch of your movie should involve DANCING? How can you possibly ask me to look at a bunch of Pac-Mans with little rudimentary limbs, and expect me to be able to tell that SOME of them are really good dancers and SOME of them are really shitty dancers, and ALL OF THE SUSPENSE hinges on this distinction? And while we're talking about physical activity, what are even the rules of this world? Apps are both giant monolithic cubes, like they are on your home screen, that can slide around and crush you between their unyielding walls, and they are ALSO little subdimensions that you can enter (not that we really see how this works) and dick around in. "Internet trolls" are somehow not separate human users, but technological entities that exists inside the world of the phone, right alongside junk mail and computer viruses. And speaking of junk, like, why is the phone owner deleting individual apps WHILE he's on his way to a Genius Bar to get the whole device reset? What the fuck is going on in any part of this movie?

While I'm talking about how ~completely~ disastrous this movie is, though, I should admit that maybe I blew past the plot too quickly. The most remarkable thing about THE EMOJI MOVIE is that it manages to be so fathomlessly moronic, AND so majestically pretentious at the same time. There is something interestingly perverse about the idea of taking humanity's most vapid, dehumanized linguistic development, and using it as some kind of allegory for the supremacy of emotion, and the prismatic nature of the soul. It's disturbing, actually. On the one hand, the movie cannot resist advertising for office products and parasitic IAP-driven games, and all of its ostensible charm is predicated on the viewer's preexisting familiarity with fun icons for human shit and compressed fish byproducts. On the other hand, the movie makes a big deal out of identifying the fascism inherent in controlling how people express themselves, and confining their potential to the dictates of their heritage. At some point the movie even drags in some shallow commentary on the tyranny of gender roles, with a subplot about a "princess" emoji rejecting the few, oppressively girly options for females of the species--just in case there were any audience members left who didn't feel personally condescended to yet.

At this point, you might be wondering why I even bothered to write all this down, having already suffered the unnecessary indignity of watching the thing. The truth is that I have an insatiable curiosity about the psychology of productions like this. When I see something so abjectly catastrophic, I start to have enthralling nightmare visions about what it must have been like to make this movie. Especially considering the fact that it is animated: At what point did people begin to realize that something really bad was happening? Who noticed it first? Was there a protracted period of convincing oneself that everything was going to be fine, or did the darkness sink in at the very beginning? What happened when the movie came out? Have all of the actors even see the whole thing? How did they manage their social lives when it started to become common, international knowledge that they had participated in the creation of one of the worst movies in the visible history of the medium? Does one lose relationships over a movie like this, either among friends who don't know how to address it, or comrades who can't stand the slightest reminder of what they've been through? I am completely entranced by my own fantasies about what happens with movies like this. I would happily watch a documentary about the making of THE EMOJI MOVIE, or better yet, some sort of distorted psychodrama about the emotional environment of the production. Somebody get Peter Strickland on the blower.

PS Mike White, I am so, so sorry. What happened to you?

[velvet-tread]

Meta Q: so in 3B Bellamy seemed to be reflecting a lot on his choices this season (and since coming to the ground), and in 316 he told Pike that their way was wrong and admitted that he'd been acting in part out of anger. He said he doesn't know what to believe now. How do you see Bellamy navigating his morality in s4? The trailer showed us more tough choices for the group. Has he had his revelation and chosen his character direction with 316, or is he still sorting through his ethical path?

Well this being the 100, I doubt very much that we’ve seenthe final word on this subject.

What follows is a ton of Bellamy s3 meta as well as s4 stuffso I’ve put some of it under the cut.

Honestly, I think we already know what Bellamy’s morality lookslike is because season 1 encapsulates it pretty well. He knows the differencebetween right and wrong.  He knowshurting people is bad. He believes in putting others before himself. He knows heshould protect the weak. I get the sense that truth and honour are high up onthe list. And personal loyalty. There is literally nothing that Bellamy won’tdo for the people he cares about, the people he considers “his”.

And that last one is where he runs into difficulties.  What do you do when the cornerstones of yourmorality conflict? What happens when you know that hurting people is morallywrong, but your loyalty to people – people who you believe you have a moralobligation to protect – requires it?

Well, Bellamy famously separated the two things early on. Heseparated himself (and his morality) from his actions  - “who we are, and who we need to be tosurvive are two different things,” he tells Clarke. It’s a great piece ofcognitive dissonance which allows him the illusion of personal morality whilstcarrying out acts that violate his moral code. Except it doesn’t work very well and his guilt over stuff he’s donefrequently overwhelms the internal firewall he’s put up around hisself-perception.

Nevertheless he soldiers on with it, finding himself indeeper and deeper moral shit as he uses the moral imperative to protect hispeople (and I do believe both Bellamy and Clarke frame this as a moral choice)to justify an increasingly horrifying array of acts.

The key thing for Bellamy in 315 was realising that moralityhad played less of a part in s3a than he thought at the time. He recognisedthat “protecting his people” (a moral issue for him) was not really the reasonhe walked into that field with Pike – he did it because he was angry and hewanted to hurt someone – anyone – in retribution for the grief he had suffered.

And now we’restraying into head canon territory because I think this moral framing hadbecome a reflex for him, so that when he has this breakdown in s3a (becauseBellamy was slowing imploding like a supernova throughout most s3) it was fartoo easy for him to frame it as the moral choice and still believe himself tobe “the good guy”.

But then, when Niylah personalises the massacre for him andLincoln’s death personalises Pike’s xenophobia for him, the internal firewall startsto crack and by the time he’s in Polis, it comes crashing down altogether. Heis no longer able to separate his choices from his personal morality and he’sback at the same place he was with Clarke under the tree in Day Trip, notknowing what to believe.

So this is a super long-winded way of saying that I thinkthe next stage of Bellamy’s ethical journey will be realising that his choices definehim more than his personal moral code, and he cannot separate the two any morethan he can rely on someone else to make the hard choices for him. And becausewe already know what Bellamy’s morality looks like, the question is not how itwill change (because, idk, I think it’s pretty sound), but how he will applyit.

And because I never miss an opportunity to wheel out anddust off a quote from the Dark Knight trilogy it can be summed up thus: “it’snot who you are inside, but what you do that defines you”. (SIDEBAR: I NEVERTIRE OF THIS QUOTE).

I think that will embody a shift in priorities for him. I100% expect Bellamy to tone down his all-or-nothing commitment to protect hispeople at any cost, and his tendencyto “other” people not in his clan. I can definitely see him shoulderingresponsibility for humanity at large (because why do things by halves) andstanding up to question others’ choices too (bye bye submissive Pike-botBellamy).

Octavia’s (presumed?) departure may also play into this,because I think she embodies all of the instinctive all-in responsibility hefeels for his people’s survival. It’snot a coincidence that cited the mantra he uses to protect Octavia when hedecided to support Clarke in MW. So with Octavia gone, he may be able toapproach his big moral stumbling block – his instinct prioritise his own at theexpense of everybody else – with a clearer head. What is more, if Octaviareally does ally herself with the Grounders, I think he will find it muchharder to dismiss the importance of the Grounders’ survival.

Basically I think the bar will be set higher and I can seeBellamy becoming a kind of Socratic questioner in s4, submitting his ownchoices (and Clarke’s) to a much greater degree of moral scrutiny than beforeand asking: can we live with this? Is this worth it?

And because Bellamy is a leader, I think he will also feelsome degree of responsibility for the decisions that others make in following his example – Monty is a big one here.

In other words, Bellamy Blake’s big revelation could be thatsaving his people may not be as important as the path he takes them down to getthere and hello big thematic neon light.