#is that narcissistic? idc tbh

[rottewanges]

the creatures are partying ‼️‼️

[kageronikki]

ask any “mental health matters!” person their opinion on schizospec, cluster B PDs, or bipolar disorder to hear the most ableist string of words a human can create

[every-dayiwakeup]

People getting all hot and bothered over:

a fictional character

a fictional canocically DEAD character

a fictional abused teenager

he's literally just a kid I beg y'all he is not nearly as bad as anyone makes him out to be.

Everyone seems to like the asshole until there are reasons behind being prickly.

Not me though, have fun 🤭

[mycptsdstory]

PLEASE DO NOT GIVE THEM HATE. I FIND OUT, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. I DON'T PROMOTE SENDING HATE TO PEOPLE. KNOCK IT OFF.

Someone sent me and I appreciate the concern, tbh I don't care.

I've looked at their blog and they say on their description about them, how they are Narcissistic abuse safe. Hashtags like #npd safe #npd #aspd safe and stuff like that.

So yeahh, I'm just gonna leave it there. You guys have your own opinions, I don't need to tell you how to think. You can do that on your own.

I'm 31 and they are 18. I'm just gonna leave them too it. I'm not gonna send them hate because they are younger than me, that's unfair.

I just find it funny how they blocked me when I asked the anon ask, IF it was them. Then shifted into this. Okay, you do you honey.

No hate towards them. I'm just aware what they are doing and most likely either;

Have fans to send them stuff to me

They have a "secret" blog to check up on me

Or both.

Ignore people like that. They just want attention and want a reaction and I bet you, they will read this too and i bet they will react too. Idc anymore. My family have done far worse to me than a stranger and my own friends ever did.

I'm kinda numb to it all. Idc anymore.

This will be the last time I will post about them.

Be safe.

PLEASE DO NOT GIVE THEM HATE. I FIND OUT, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED. I DON'T PROMOTE SENDING HATE TO PEOPLE. KNOCK IT OFF.

[moriartyluver]

🦢 anon is back with the song analysis again

ok but teen fl + teen idle by marina is soo real

“I wanna be a bottle blonde I don't know why but I feel conned”- her feeling like liam is more privileged than her and feeling slightly jealous of him because she saw him as a white b who got everything handed to him

“I wanna be an idle teen I wish I hadn't been so clean”- revenge revenge revenge

“I wanna stay inside all day I want the world to go away”- her being an introvert as a teen and only ever studying and maybe occasionally socialising

“I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake I wanna be a real fake”- her putting on a facade

“Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible Feeling super, super, super suicidal”- the third line here is kinda like her being 16 and committing crimes ig?? Also fl low-key wants to unalive herself but knowing her she probably won’t try because of all her responsibilities

“The wasted years, the wasted youth The pretty lies, the ugly truth”- I know we didn’t get an exact thing abt fls relationship with Theo the pedo but I’d say it’s implied they probably did the deed. Like how when they were dancing in the Ashfordshire arc, liam said something abt fl having multiple partners in other aspects, also in the past chapter u mentioned that fl would visit Theo at night. I think she’d lie to herself and act as if she was just seducing him but really she was probably getting abused by him

“And the day has come where I have died Only to find, I've come alive”- fl having her grand duchess glow up post timeskip 👏 👏

“I wanna be a virgin pure A twenty-first century whore I want back my virginity So I can feel infinity”- fls issues with intimacy with Liam because of Theo. She probably never enjoyed the devils tango until liam came around because she was so used to using it for her ulterior motives 😕😕 also she always is getting fetishised and flirted with by the other noblemen to the point she felt she had to marry a guy she considered her biggest rival just to shake them off only for them to keep going and not understand how uncomfy she was

“I wanna drink until I ache I wanna make a big mistake I want blood, guts, and angel cake I'm gonna puke it anyway”- in the Noahtic arc, fl got drunk a bit and was probably using it as escapism for her issue of an heir. Also fls implied Ed ^^

“I wish I wasn't such a narcissist I wish I didn't really kiss The mirror when I'm on my own Oh God, I'm gonna die alone” - fl has slight self esteem issues imo so this lyric makes sense especially because she seemed to be a little meaner as a teen and rightfully so bc her brother literally died because of the British ofc she won’t like any of them. In like the second chapter fl made a comment abt dying alone and I thought that fits

“Adolescence didn't make sense A little loss of innocence The ugliness of being a fool Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?”- fl was suffering since she was like 9 and I don’t think anyone reached out to her tbh if she was really killing whole families at 16. She was probably hella merciless and numb poor girl. She also probably lost her innocence because of Theo and other weird noble guys

also she fits seventeen by marina too. If she was an mtp character she’d probably get angst edits to that one bit “I was brought up as a baby well you don’t know fuck about my family could never tell you what happened the day I turned seventeen the rise of the king and the fall of a queen”

fl is just sooo Marina coded idc

ALSO I AM BEGGING YOU TO GET SOME REST GIRLIE. u usually update like every day. We don’t need u losing sleep over false lovers I promise. Get ur beauty sleep 🙏

Stop this is literally a whole essay 😭 u are right abt most of it tho

Theo is literally such an asshole I’m glad fl killed him and tortured him

Bro was 20 and courting a 16 year old but wasn’t even following proper etiquette rules

Fl finds it so difficult to be affectionate with Liam all because of that stupid mf.

Grand duchess fl 🛐

Fls parents tried to reach out to help her with her grief when she was a kid but they were both suffering themselves and they were trying to find out who was responsible for fls brothers death while also suffering responsibilities as the grand duke and duchess. They tried but fl shut everyone out because she only wanted revenge

Fl also has really terrible self esteem issues but she doesn’t let it show at all. From her perspective William was just an asshole and she felt like it was unfair everyone treated him better than her. Paris and rory esque relationship tbh

Tbh fl would get edited with like every Marina song she’s just that Marina coded

Also I’m currently on holiday so I’m trying my best to get some rest after my exams. I’ll try to be constant with updates but tbh I don’t think I’ll update until I’m back home because my internet keeps getting fucked up lol

[volosdarling]

INTRODUCING SOME OF MY NEW COG F/OS TO THE AUDIENCE!!! *STANDING IN FRONT OF A THEATER FULL OF PEOPLE TIED TO THEIR CHAIRS*

💫🚸🚧⚠️⭐️✌️🚦

OK SO ALTON (TRAFFIC CONE HEAD GUY) WAS ALREADY ON THE F/O LIST BUT I HAVE A FEW IM GONNA ADD SOON :3

1. GRAHAM PAYSER, THE PACESETTER

TBH HE WAS ON MY MENTAL F/O LIST SINCE ALTON, BUT I WAS 2 EMBARRASSED 2 ADD HIM PUBLICLY ... BUT NOW IDC!! HES SO FUNNY AND NARCISSISTIC THAT I NEED TO KISS HIM IN PUBLIC <3

BTW I DO KNOW HE AND FLINT R BASICALLY A CANON COUPLE I SHIP THEM ASWELL

OUR TAG: TBA

2. DAVE BRUBOT, THE MAJOR PLAYER

SAME DEAL AS GRAHAM W/ BEING KINDA EMBARRASSED ABT PUTTING HIM ON MY LIST. I KEEP FALLING 4 JOKE CHARACTERS AND THEN GETTING EMBARRASSED BUT I LIKE HOW HE LOOKS LIKE HE COULD BITE MY HEAD OFF. ALSO HES A HUGE FLIRT SOOOOOOOOO

OUR TAG: TBA

3. HIGH ROLLER ?!!?

HE'S A MAYPRIL FOOLS FUSION OF MY F/O (DAVE) AND MY GF'S F/O (BUCK) SO WE SHARE CUSTODY XD

OUR TAG: #💜 MIDI VERSION

WELL IF U READ ALL THAT, U UNLOCKED THIS STEAM ACHIEVEMENT: 🏆

BTW YES I HAVE GONE OFF THE DEEP END + I WILL CONTINUE 2 FALL 4 UGLY ROBOTS & VIDEO GAME MONSTERS HOPE THIS HELPS

[therealmsparkerrrr]

My mom is obsessed with me so bad it’s sabotaged my ENTIRE life and she just denies and calls it love and care…I’ve made the acknowledgment that I’m not gonna find or have my wife while she’s in my energy I’m tryna not out her from my life but baby you bouta be gone idc…I tried to step away and not use you like everyone else around you so I’m not the one feeding your whatever the fuck(delusion of matriarchy) but you got me bent fr me being a fat gay black female Buddhist who wants to lift weights and look damn good covered in tattoos and run her business and having my BS degree and self paid diploma in what I WANTED should make you feel great tbh cos I’m out here fighting life and still standing strong but you got this weird thing against me you can have alone my love…but because I love weed and the lifestyles I do I’m a problem? You want me to forgive my abusive dad and overlook your neglect just because y’all provided..you had me put in a mental health institution and see nothing wrong with it…even with me explaining it to you you damn narcissist but I’ll never let you live through me or pretend to be ya lil friend boo I’m sorry I know every version of you and this one by far is disgusting..get through your midlife crisis alone..I’m not giving you grandchildren I’m not kissing your ass I’m just NOT… I love you enough to know that the best thing for us is distance.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Monday, January 1st, 2024!

10:29am We are alive mf's!!! We made it to the new year!

Currently having my semi-annual financial hoopla but things will work themselves out 😇

January goals: not spending money basically.

- don't get so drunk, it is not fun anymore!

- stop buying food/ drinks out! Too much $

- look for free activities

- free hobbies

- be mindful of what you're doing! And not doing!

- wake up earlier and go to bed earlier! (Gradual)

1:01pm I have already caved and have gotten PDQ 🤣 it's all good I'm straight chilling ❤️ Stay positive y'all. Watching A Historia Delas on Hulu, looks pretty good!

3:45pm Ok so PDQ has made me completely lethargic, the salt has made me totally bloated AF like I feel it in my belly and my feet and hands. I want to work on increasing my energy levels this year and omg this was not the right thing to do. I'm so bloated I'm too uncomfortable to nap even. This show is very good though thank god bc I'm clearly not doing much else today.

Also, one of my wall adjacent neighbors has been playing freaking dubstep or something for like 2 hrs straight and I just realized it's making my brain feel weird/ fuzzy but I couldn't identify why tf I felt that way before. There's so much damn noise in the world it's no wonder everyone is losing their mind/ irritable and slightly annoyed all the time.

8:04pm I did my nails! Also binge watching this show was a very good decision, the best I've made all day 🤣 Tried eating some cheese and it's too much!! My body is just rejecting all of this rich af holiday food and I should really clean out the fridge tomorrow and start fresh. I know it's a waste but idc I don't want to keep feeling like crap and I hate expired food. It's not my fault I went on vacation for like 10 days and all this was too much. I'm still not used to buying/ cooking food for one person. I need to stop buying gallons of milk ffs! It's way too much I had to have like 4 cups last night bc it was expiring today. This is just all part of being mindful, everything is a learning process! You are ok and you are doing great! ❤️

Also, learning more and more about how abusive my relationship is and I'm so glad the internet exists because it would have been so easy to just *not* be aware of this experience that i unfortunately share with many people!! Narcissistic abuse is real and I am ready to keep healing!! Can't fool me twice.

I loved talking to his grandmother though, she is so wise and sweet and I love that she really doesn't play his BS and can see through it, amen!!! I can't believe she said what I thought she would say.... She wants them to move out together so that they'll break up already!!!! That shit is crazy she really said that!!! I may be young but I am not stupid and I saw that shit coming from MILES away literally.

9:41pm He keeps randomly texting me and tbh at this point it's so crystal clear what he's doing and it's pathetic. Simply I have no admiration for him, no respect above human decency really, it's just pathetic is the only word for it. He clearly needs psychological help, and I'm not a psychologist! Also, don't you have a gf to text who literally hates me? Get it together, bro, you're not fooling anyone (except her?? Poor girl tbh she's really getting her payback/ karma in spades I'm sure) thanks universe :) love ya.

PS why does he keep bringing up the music thing?? Does he have no other lines I don't really get it. What tf am I supposed to do about that anyway. I listen to all of his music and my music just fine (oh wait it's because I took time to heal and didn't jump into another toxic relationship 7 days later!!) Get a grip, dude, you're not getting anyone's sympathy here.

Made a to do list for tomorrow so we'll see how that goes! Also I'm sleeping naked so we're trying lots of new things!

[t4tdanvis]

Not really related but I knew a mf who gave Katelyn npd and wrote her as so abusive towards travis it was almost comical and then this bitch turned around and told me it was offensive to make katelyn a trans woman because she’s “masculine”.

Like I’m making her trans because I make everyone trans, you’re giving her npd because you want her to be “evil”. I don’t think these are equally offensive.

HELLO??? thats literally so insane what the hell... i cant even process npd seriously being treated as Evil Abuser Disorder atp. like wow when u look at a narcissist u can see they have no heart based off of their Dead Eyes.... they try to consume ur soul through their Evil Aura...... their eyes turn red and Evil........ they r evil mean devil worshippers possessed by satan.......... so scary 😰😰😰😰

i make the majority of characters trans and like. ik theres definitely some ppl who think im Terrible and Stereotyping bc i made dante trans or whatever. but like idc. hes trans he told me himself 😁 transphobic of them to say he cant be trans tbh... :/

every character can be trans. like yeah if ur hc comes off as stereotyping ppl can just ask "hey why do u hc them as trans" or just. look at how u portray them. like its so easy to just go "why do u hc them as trans" "bc i make every character trans/i relate to them/its an important part of their backstory/etc" instead of writing up a 10 page callout post on how this person hcs vylad as trans which makes them transphobic homophobic and ableist

[jettisoned-again]

Userboxes at the bottom below the cut

Trigger Warnings:

I'll try and tag these but I might not remember so I’m pinning this. Posts and reblogs may contain subject matter related to the following due to my fictional source memories:

Alcohol

Cigarettes/Smoking nicotine

Drunk driving

Car accidents including injury and/or death

Getting lost in space (not sure if that needs a tw?? Idk it sounds like something that might freak some people out so I'm putting it here, definitely a trigger for me at least)

Jail/prison

Abusive relationships including verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual

Just to be clear, none of this besides the first two and the last one have happened in this life to this body, they're just memories related to my source as a fictive. My source experiences are also much different than the experiences in the body, so not even everything to do with the ones that this body does have experience with happened in the same way as what I may post/reblog.

Will update this if I think of more things I need to add. Ask me to add anything here and I will, and I will try my best to remember to tag it as well.

May use tone tags on and off as my system is autistic and I'm trying to get the hang of it.

DNI:

Standard DNI criteria and supporters of people within that

Minors (just not a safe set of subject matter tbh but I won't check every like or reblog for your age as long as you don't DM me)

Endo interactions are whatever. I don't like or support them (anti-endo but don't directly harass them as long as they don't harass me, but anyone in my system including me will absolutely call out misinformation). But again, I'm not checking every like or reblog to see who calls themself an endo "system". Don't bring any syscourse here though.

Tulpas who have a right to the closed practice, just bc our experiences are very different and this is very much a trauma-centric page.

Tulpas who do not have a right to the closed practice are assholes. Don't fucking interact with me. Actually just block me so I don't have to accidentally see your posts.

TransID (such as transage - not including system littles or non-nsfw age regressors -, transRAMCOA 🤮 I'm so sorry actual RAMCOA survivors have to deal with that/gen, transabled, transrace, etc.) This does not include transspecies, therians, otherkin, etc as long as you're not like... trying to screw animals or anything.

Self harm/ED blogs, including recovery. I am super proud of you/gen but any reminder of an ED or SH is super bad for some alters here and I just wanna keep the whole concept away from them as much as I can.

Believers in narcissistic abuse (or borderline or antisocial or *insert any disorder* abuse), users of the words soci0path/psychp0path, or delulu

People, including systems, who fakeclaim individuals (publicly or privately, to their face or behind their back, literally in ANY way shape or form) or support fakeclaiming in ANY situation. Idc how "obvious" you think it is, it harms every single actual system for you to do that. You can call out misinformation without addressing if they're a system or not - real systems spread misinfo sometimes too.

[credit: systemuserboxes]

[venussaidso]

Love me some brown skin, all shades on men and women. My favourite is light/dark caramel cause that's my tone and I just like it more. I like being brown.

[peachessence]

there’s this guy i have to sit next to bc someone stole my seat next to this nice girl and like he’s nice or whatever but he’s always asking me how to solve the in class problems and when I tell him he second guesses me and then i always end up being right sooo lmao. but he’ll ask me for the hw like bro why u want my hw if u think I’m a dummy!!

[onemillionvolts]

GM CYNO

what if i told you every single question in the ask game should be answered, that or WHO IS THE SEXUEST PERSIN THAT COMES TO MIND IMMEDIATELY

GOOD MORNING HI HI. BET. im gonna do all of them you bet i wont but i will. youre the best for this btw

IMMEDIATELY? PFFFF HOW LONG DO U HAVE LET ME GET MY LIST

0. height

i yam 5 foot 6 (and a half)

1. virgin?

what the fuck did you just call me? /lhj

anyways in my head yes i am and thats what matters isnt it

2. shoe size

i wear 11s and god i wish that thing people say about shoe size was true 🤙

3 + 4 + 5. do you smoke/drink/do drugs

no and i never plan to <33

6. age you get mistaken for

i.. honestly have no answer to this tbh

7 + 8. do you have (and/or want) any tattoos?

i don't have any, i'd like one/some but i'm not really sure what i'd get

9 + 10. do you have/want any piercings

no to both PFFFF i think like... a clip on lip piercing would probably be my personal limit

11. best friend

...ego stroker much, tumblr user wangshu? /t PFFFFF

12. relationship status

harem with fake 2d men single. yeah uh. single

13. biggest turn ons

tbh... i cant think of any off the top of my head that aren't painfully obvious

14. biggest turn offs

ducklips iykyk

15. favorite movie

i'm not kidding when i say step brothers. but if you want a more respectable answer, nightmare before christmas

16. i'll love you if

you aren't an asshole??? i mean ik it's hypocritical of me to say but cmon

17. someone you miss

i've lost a lot of family over the years so probably someone there tbh

18. most traumatic experience

when my ex lived with me and i wish i was joking it was that fucking bad

19. A fact about your personality

which one /hj

i do think.. i overcompensate a lot by trying to be funny bc i dont feel like i HAVE a personality so there's that about me

20. What i hate most about myself

mm thats a toughie it could be the appearance or the voice or the attachment issues or the codependency issues or the jealousy issues or the mood swings or the weak immune system or the several mental illnesses or holy shit this is turning into a pity party

21. what i love most about myself

im an alright writer i guess? and id like to think i'm a good friend

22. what i want to be when i get older

i just wanna write man idc what

23. my relationship with my sibling(s)

i have 0 of them

24. my relationship with my parents

my moms cool but the less said about my dad the better

25. my idea of the perfect date

literally just staying in and watching a movie with snacks and stuff... honestly never thought about it much

26. My biggest pet peeves

UM UM um people who think the world revolves around them people who don't know the difference between their there and they're um people who Unironically Capitalize Every Word Like This oh i could go on

27. a description of the person i like

big hat dumb bowlcut open kimono /j

28. description of the person i dislike the most

um literally jusr my dad so. narcissistic explosive annoying abusive etc etc

29. A reason i've lied to a friend

only time i'm lyin is when i say tiggy ain't best boy 💯

30. what i hate most about work/school

it kinda semi interferes w my night owl ways but otherwise i'm chill

31. what your last text message says

gonna use actual texts cause using disc is too easy 👹 it was just me asking my mom if she wanted a drink from mcdonalds from last sunday

32. what words upset me the most

does this mean like. just words you hate or a phrase/sentence that upsets u...

uh i'll do it both ways. the word bussin makes me want to fall down an abyss a la childe ajax tartaglia

and uh. i hate being told i don't do enough, specifically by people who don't do jack shit in the first place. AGAIN iykyk

33. what words make me feel best abt myself

oh it was the second thing. honestly don't hve an answer to this but i just hold onto any compliment i get for actual years so there's that about me

34. what i find attractive in women

eyes its eyes

35. what i find attractive in men

sense of humor tbh

36. where i would like to live

somewhere close to a big city so that it isn't massively crowded and loud and overwhelming all the time but i'm close enough to stores and hospitals and all that stuff

37. One of my insecurities

i feel like this has already been asked in like 6 different ways.. prolly my body tho

38. my childhood career choice

honestly i've.. always been kinda laughably indecisive about this type of thing. i never wanted to be like, an astronaut or fireman or any of the cliche stuff that kids talk about i.. don't think i ever thought of it actually

39. my favorite ice cream flavor

cookies n cream 👹 specifically like a cookies n cream cheesecake blizzard from like dq or culvers.. that shit is unmatched

40. Who i wish i could be

a mentally stable person or cyno genshin (real)

41. where i want to be right now

in bed <///3

42. the last thing i ate

leftover pizza <3

43. SEXIEST PERSON THAT COMES TO MIND IMMEDIATELY

TIGHNARI FINAL ANSWRR I DONT PERCEIVE REAL PEOPLE

44. a random fact about anything

all odd numbers contain the letter E

GOLLY THIS WAS SO FUN.

[itsdappleagain]

📂 specifically Julia, Carmen, Chief, and Ivy 👀

oho anon you came to the right place

Julia: Definitely went into law enforcement after getting her history degree because of a tragedy in her family idc what you say. Only child. She has to do her hair after showers because it WILL stick up and ruin her life when she sleeps on it wet. The necklace was her mother's. Her mother was the tragedy. Her father is homophobic and she is gay and ace (projecting? me?). That didn't work out well. She takes self defense lessons. Did this ask only say one for each? Oh well.

Carmen: Girl has a shit ton of nightmares and just as many scars to keep them from ever fading! Carmen can't cook agenda is one of my favorites. The first movie Carmen ever watched outside of VILE was Casablanca, which popped up when she searched it after her first outing. She even references the movie in TSONTS, so yeah I have proof! She's biromantic and ace, and she likes everyone in the Tangled movie, its one of her favorites. She's secretly bitter about her own ending (she didn't have a huge part to play in the takedown of VILE tbh and she's more than a little lost as to what to do now.) She's conscious of her own charm and will use it. Absolutely no mechanical ability (that's what the redheaded girlfriend is for). Trauma coping mechanism is avoidance

Chief: The way her pen works is she has a special room that uses ultra-sensitive scanners to project from her agent's pens (every one has the agent's name on it. When she's in a call, the pen has very high quality cameras embedded in itself that project an image of the room or space her agents are in to create a #D projection in the space Chief is in. The animation doesn't show it but all her clothes are inevitably covered from head to toe in cathair (technically canon ig). She drinks her coffee black. At least one of her parents was emotionally manipulative and narcissistic (wow dap, where'd that come from? what the fuck? ask me and i'll write an essay ok no more on that right now)

Ivy: She and Zack grew up dirt poor in Boston with no or rarely present parents. As the older one she had to grow up much faster than Zack to take care of them and provide for them. They are incredibly close because of it, but its also why Zack is a little more immature and loves food so much...he never had enough as a kid. But this is about Ivy! So, Shay (thedukeofvermeer)'s headcanon that she has scars all over her hands is one I love and accept. She has full body freckles and so much muscle that she could squish you like a grape, but rarely enough coordination or motive to do so. She's terrified of driving because going to the racetrack with Zack, she's seen what damage they can do. In ACME she's very close with Julia and occasionally they'll switch partners for a day (mutually. Zack and Devineaux also love working together. Its so chaotic please help Chief)

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Wednesday, December 27th, 2023

Why have the past few days been so hard I don't even understand. It's like I know all of the tools to help myself and heal, but like sleeping for example. I know I need to get enough sleep but I keep waking up extremely upset and it's ruining my mornings. I know I need to eat better but I barely have an appetite. I'm on my period and I absolutely fucking hate it. I think I may have some period-related distress disorder or something because this just can't be normal. I wish there was something I could take like an aspirin but instead of pain it would alleviate ridiculous mood swings. My period makes me feel so out of control of my body and so uncomfortable. I'm glad I have found a way to skip it for the most part, but then when I do have one it's 20x worse!!?? So either have it a quarter of the year being a nuisance or 4x a year but terrible?? Idk fml. I feel like a fucking teenager again which is 100% not my fucking speed. I am grown I want to act grown in so tired of bs people and bs situations and bs "how things should go" when it comes to social situations. I don't know how to fucking date anymore and I feel like so FUCKED UP from this past relationship. I'm so used to wringing myself dry, squeezing every drop of myself into someone just to get completely fucked over and forgotten about. I can't do that shit again. But if it's not 100%, what the fuck is it?? 10% 20% 50%? I can't imagine giving 50% of myself to someone I don't fucking know. Maybe like 5% haha. That's expendable, but is that enough to garner anything serious?? Or just a bunch of bs????? Help me please anyone 🙃

7:41am seriously coming to terms with how fucked up my last relationship was. And coming to terms with the fact that it has fucked me uP. I do need therapy tbh that would be an investment for me this year. Idc if it's through the school or not their wait-list is so stupid and long.

I want to be around more women this year, men are just making me lose my fucking mind.

7:21pm just got off of another last minute shift! I called him earlier until he finally picked up bc I can't understand his weird ass games. And weird ass games is 100% correct. He said he "silently cried" in public at his gfs parents house last night bc they kept playing songs that remind him of me.... Bro wtf... I literally don't know what to say to that shit. Then I confronted him about why he took me off everything so abruptly and he basically said that everyone else told him to. He just does whatever everyone else tells him to do, he's such a loser. Then he said that anytime his phone goes off, calls or texts, he gets anxious bc he thinks it's me calling him?? Apparently I make him so anxious now... bc he was the dumb one to get such a paranoid gf a week after we broke up, apparently I'm still the cause of numerous fights between them... Literally tho this is 100% NOT MY FAULT. YOU CANNOT BLAME ME FOR YOUR SHITTY BEHAVIOR. YOU CERTAINLY CANNOT BLAME ME FOR WANTING YOU AFTER YOU TELLING ME REPEATEDLY THAT YOU WANTED ME AND THAT YOU REGRETTED EVERYTHING. HE'S LITERALLY A FUCKING CRAZY NARCISSIST PUSSY BITCH.

I'm fully convinced that he's a narcissist now bc goddamn ALWAYS HE IS THE VICTIM!!!!! This shit is unbelievable!!!!! I don't ever see us getting back together bc like I said previously, the respect is GONE. On top of being an asshole, he literally has no fucking balls and just takes his fragile ego out on anyone he thinks he can treat like shit/ less than him. Goddamn I feel bad for that girl but on the other hand, she gets what she deserves !!! She can have your crazy ass I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this shit anymore!!!! It's like he's reverting backwards too, really acting like a brat ass teenager again, love triangles and generally NOT BEING A MAN AT ALL. Literally he acts like a child with no emotional regulation and it's sad af honestly. It's really just sad. That's why I cry. Not because I miss him, but bc I feel bad that he really is such a fuckup and I thought I could help him. I cry for my own grieving, overly kind heart that I gave to someone so fucking helpless. Beyond help at this point bc there's so many fucking people ENABLING HIS BEHAVIOR. I am literally outnumbered by stupid fucking idiots who think this shit is acceptable. I simply cannot. Good luck bro.

[fairybaby777]

https://fairyv1b3s.tumblr.com/post/681878656105267200/random-but-anything-youre-curious-about-i-mean-i

Okay so I think since I'm the God of my reality and the only one who can manifest here, it's my simple assumptions that makes other people manifest. Like my assumption that people have good lives,they can manifest having perfect lives, they can be confident and the constant searching for success stories and proofs led upto here where other people manifest in my reality(you can say). But tbh they don't manifest here, even if I assume they can manifest in my reality, they won't. Because doesn't matter whether I'm aware of it or not, I'm still God. Everything is still going to be pushed out.

This also means if I start assuming that manifesting is false, I'll see more proofs of that. Now if I go to void and manifest, nobody will know that because its my reality.

You having curiosity like this is also my assumptions. Like in my reality. Because I'm just as curious as you.

I'll tell you an example. I love pink since I was a kid but everybody loves black so I forced myself to like it. I thought it was the best colour. So I saw more people like black around me. Now that Idc about it, I keep saying and believing that pink is the superior colour and literally everyone around me says the same? I see posts on how pink is the best. I see more people love pink. I don't see black colour lovers much now.

Another example is that, when I hated myself, I kept saying self depreciating jokes and people talked the same way. Everyone projected what I believed. Now that I don't feel embarrassed and I feel confident, my friends are also quite confident. Even if they aren't, they don't hate on themselves. They talk more and more good things about themselves. Praise themselves in a non narcissistic way.

So everything is a projection of me in my reality. If I start believing that the void is a lie, well my subconscious will prove that to me.

mmhm true