#why do characters have to have redemption why must we pretend they need to go on apology tours

[every-dayiwakeup]

People getting all hot and bothered over:

a fictional character

a fictional canocically DEAD character

a fictional abused teenager

he's literally just a kid I beg y'all he is not nearly as bad as anyone makes him out to be.

Everyone seems to like the asshole until there are reasons behind being prickly.

Not me though, have fun 🤭

[sokkastyles]

So, this is a post for another fandom, but the discussion of Azula and Zuko came up in it, and OP revealed themselves as an Azula apologist. Thought you might be interested.

What's so funny about this is that before OP goes on their rant (so tired of people misusing feminist talking points to excuse abusive behavior) they themselves actually hit on, then immediately dismiss, the reason why people like Zuko more than Catra.

"just because her redemption arc wasn't as good"

Like, that's it. That's the thing. It doesn't matter what actions Zuko did that might be worse (although given what OP later writes, I would seriously question that statement). We're talking about stories, so the character who has a better written arc is going to be liked more, and that's that. It has nothing to do with gender at all. It also has nothing to do with who did what when they were a villain, because if the redemption isn't believable enough, it doesn't matter. Zuko has a better written story and in the land of fiction, that is always going to be more forgivable.

You could argue that there is misogyny in the fact that we don't get enough female characters who are as well-written as Zuko, but I'm a feminist who reads enough fiction that I don't need to pretend something is a good story just because it's female-led. I think a lot of people wanted the She-Ra show to be good for that reason, but in the end, consuming media isn't activism. And from what I've seen of the relationship between Catra and Adora - hell, from the way people talk about Azula, too - a LOT of people will forgive shitty behavior if a woman is doing it on the grounds of "feminism," and that's not only not feminist - how many women suffer because of Catra and Azula's actions? - it's extremely dangerous because it perpetuates the idea that women cannot be abusers.

You want good female representation? Maybe read a book instead of putting all your money on one or two popular cartoon series.

Now that I got THAT out of my system, there's a lot wrong with what OP says about Azula.

None of what OP says to defend Azula is feminist. Like, they don't even attempt to back up this claim the way some Azula stans do, they just say it like they think declaring themselves a feminist makes it so. And then they spend most of the post bashing Ursa, natch. OP will not explain why defending Azula is feminist (because it isn't), but I can explain why bashing Ursa is misogyny. Because you're taking a female character we know barely anything about other than that she was a mother and that she was fridged for the main characters, and insisting she must have been a bad mother based on minimal evidence. Even though we know why her children acted the way they did and we know it had to do with the negative actions of their father. Blaming Ursa for Azula is misogynist because it is shifting blame from a male abuser to a female character who was his victim, and focusing the blame on how she was a bad mother, with very little evidence that she was. But reducing a female character to motherhood and criticizing her for not being saintly is absolutely misogyny.

Where is it "expanded on in the comics" that Ursa gave up on Azula? Or that Azula acted out for Ursa's attention?

Here we see Ursa spending time with both her kids. Azula hangs back because she sees a flower in the garden that isn't as pretty, and waits until Ursa's back is turned to burn it. Then, when Zuko tells on her, she burns Zuko. Azula isn't trying to get Ursa's attention here. She waits until Ursa isn't looking and is mad when she gets negative attention from Ursa because Zuko told on her. She did not want her mother to notice her burning the flower. But when her mother does notice, Azula explains why she did it. Because it wasn't as pretty. It's very obvious what's going on here. Azula is acting out, but not because she's being neglected by her mother. She's acting out in the ways her father groomed her to act out, because her father taught her that if something isn't the best, it's worthless and deserves to be hurt. She then applies this to Zuko, who she thinks deserves to be hurt because he told on her.

And this is a pattern of behavior for Azula that we see not only in the comics, but the series itself. In "Zuko Alone," far from acting out to get her mother's attention because she "gave up on her," we see Azula lie to her mother so that she can get Zuko to play with her, with the purpose of playing a mean prank on Zuko.

Azula appeals to the fact that she knows Ursa thinks she and her brother should get along. If Azula was desperate for her mother's attention, if Ursa gave up on her, Azula would not be able to successfully lie to her mother this way.

What these scenes show is not that Ursa gave up on Azula or that Azula lacked attention from her mother, but that even at a young age (which was more like 8, actually) Azula was influenced by her father's cruelty and acted it out on others, and knew how to manipulate her mother in order to get what she wanted. Shifting blame onto Ursa for trying to teach her child right from wrong, for trying to protect her other child, is misogyny.

Also "Zuko let his insecurities get in the way of his relationship with Azula" is a weird way of saying that Azula deliberately played on Zuko's insecurities to hurt him. Like, you cannot ignore that the reason Zuko is insecure is, in large part, because of Azula, because she provokes his insecurites and then blames him for feeling insecure. This is victim blaming.

Also, the doll thing. I am so tired, y'all. If you automatically assume Azula getting a doll from her uncle is proof he doesn't care about her, who is the misogynist again? If the show wanted us to think this was a thoughtless, sexist, or even misguided gift, that would be shown. We would see Iroh ignoring hints that Azula does not like dolls. Instead, what we see is Azula getting a gift from a relative who hasn't seen her in years, and she burns it because it isn't exactly what she wanted, and then says she hopes her uncle dies. This says FAR more about Azula than it does Iroh, and it is meant to. The OP then goes on to say that Azula was right about Iroh when she mocked his son's death and said he should have burned Ba Sing Se to the ground, but then says he committed more crimes and bloodshed than her, conversely. What bloodshed? We're shown no bloodshed because this is a nickelodeon cartoon show. But we ARE shown Azula mocking Iroh for not being more violent. So don't tell me Iroh is somehow worse. Azula's coup on Ba Sing Se would not be bloodless if this was Game of Thrones, and overthrowing a city using deception isn't more moral than a siege.

Azula also was not "right" about Iroh in the way OP claims because they make it seem like she objected to Iroh ending the siege because she cared about her nation and people. That is not what she said. She said he should have burned the city to the ground to be "a real general." This, and Azula's other actions, such as giving irrational orders and making threats when they aren't carried out from her introductory episode, show that Azula has no real concept of statecraft beyond how to violently assert power, and we know who taught her that.

Also, Azula did not immediately apologize to Ty Lee after making her cry by slut-shaming her (how often the "feminists" forget that). She begrudgingly apologized, and then made it about herself and what Ty Lee should do for her.

Okay, okay, calm down. I didn't mean what I said. [Frontal view over Ty Lee's shoulder.] Look, maybe I just said it because I was a little ... [Whispers.] jealous.

I know people make a lot of this because it's a rare scene of Azula being accountable for her actions, but that alone should tell you something. It doesn't make Azula this kind and compassionate soul. It's not even a great apology. Sincere apologies do not begin with "Okay, okay, calm down." Azula just told her friend that boys only like her because she's easy. The fact that Ty Lee forgives her, especially after everything Azula did to her, makes Ty Lee a saint. And then Azula has a very difficult time admitting that she is jealous, because of course she does. And yes, I know, people make a lot of this because it's Azula, and yeah, it probably did take a lot of effort for Azula to admit that Ty Lee was better at her at something, but that is because Azula is egotistical and selfish and cruel to even her "friends."

And Mai...Azula does not get points for not understanding that she can't force Mai to murder her boyfriend for Azula. Azula asking Mai why she did it even though she "knew the consequences" again shows how little regard Azula has for even her friends, who she thinks she can control using threats. Azula thought she could use Mai to control Zuko and then when Mai's feelings were inconvenient, expected Mai to just watch Zuko die, and is so offended when that doesn't happen.

Also, Zuko never worked on his anger issues? It is literally a major plot point that Zuko says he doesn't want to rely on anger anymore and finds another way. And I've talked about this before, but this idea that Azula is so calm and collected is utterly ridiculous. You only have to look at the examples I mentioned above, but also many more, to see Azula fly into a rage at the slightest provocation, make threats, act out violently, and attempt to control others through fear to see that that is not true. The real difference is that Azula thinks she is justified in acting this way, and when that stops getting her results, rather than trying to change and learning to understand and value other people, she has a breakdown. You have to misunderstand Azula's entire arc to not get that. It is literally explained to us at every opportunity in the narrative.

Conclusion: if you claim to be a feminist, act like one and get to know some feminist theory. And just because you're a woman does not exclude you from being an idiot.

[oldfangirl81]

Okay, I saw this post a while ago about why do fic writers make the Buckley Parents be truly horrible people. Most often this shows up in writing them as racist, homophobic and physically abusive jackasses. Given I have a fic where I am making them truly horrible people this has been kicking around in my brain.

So beware my deep thoughts on this...

Okay, so first off I have some personal experiences that color my views. Some parental grandparents stuff I'm still working through. So I'm always going to lean towards found family if canon bio parents suck. So I'm already not inclined to write redemption/forgiveness towards shitty parents who haven't made an effort at change or did it for all the wrong reasons so it is temporary. (oh no my neighbors think I'm bad for not knowing what is happening in my adult child/grandchild lives I must pretend for a while.)

But generally speaking it can be hard to accept that basically okay humans make some very selfish choices that cause harm. It is easier to accept if we only highlight the bad in them. Or we use things our personal beliefs say are characteristics that only bad people have.

We know if we are writing any "realism" eventually Eddie & Buck are going to face homophobia. Yes, even in California. Southern California tends to vote more conservative but northern California has its jackasses too. I was called slurs when protesting Prop 8 by a minivan family. Now I'm lucky and the important people in my life didn't get flustered by me coming out as bi. But that is not always the case. Writing can definitely be a way to process that. Be it an actual experience or just the fear of coming out. So that can be a factor in people writing the Buckley Parents as homophobic jerks.

And often in reality if you find a homophobic/racist jerk then you've also found an ableist jerk. Now again my own personal experience with my grandparents ableism is clouding my judgement. They did and said horrible things when I was a kid. It is believable to me that the Buckleys might not be the greatest with Chris.

Now my grandparents also lost a child. Not as young as Daniel but it was before I was born. It was tragic and unexpected. But they never wanted/allowed my father to grieve beyond what they felt was appropriate. They had a distaste for therapy. It was for OTHER people, the ones with real problems. So I can see the Buckley Parents saying and doing shitty things around Postpartum and PTSD issues because I've known people whose own losses just made them jerks, even to those closest to them.

I also think a lot of us are just tired of shows pushing redemption arcs for shitty parents solely based on the fact they are the DNA donors. I've stopped watching shows when they lean too heavily on that for me. SWAT comes to mind as a more recentish one I stopped because of that. We want the characters to be validated that they don't have to accept shitty people in their life. Be it the mother who fakes her death to work with the CIA or the father who abandoned his family for another or the father who constantly kept his kids traveling to train to kill monsters or the parents who created a child solely to save their other child then never told him while treating him different his whole life. We want these characters to eventually get closure/revenge/peace that leads to love and happiness. Because maybe we know we'll never get that in reality or not as satisfyingly. (The closure/revenge part, hopefully we all find the love, happiness and peace part.) So writing the Buckleys getting verbally sliced up by Eddie is satisfying.

So I think there are a lot of complex reasons to write the Buckleys as extra shitty. But also it is easy to build an antagonist off a slightly established character.

Or maybe I just need therapy and I'm overthinking.

[stardustprompts]

the poppy war - r.f kuang   sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !!  some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw :   drugs , death , murder , nsfw , prostitution mention , language

‘take off your clothes.’

‘why would anyone drug themselves before a test?’

‘you’re about to be a very lucky girl, sweet.’

‘wow that’s great. really great. Terrific.’

‘your folks are assholes.’

‘well fuck the heavenly order of things.’

‘don’t you have actual responsibilities?’

‘I don’t want to get on _____ ‘s bad side.’

‘you would make a terrible prostitute. no charm.’

‘what is so wrong with getting married?’

‘do you want to die?’

‘everything is spilling out of my head as quickly as I put it in.’

‘please do not commit spousal homicide.’

‘give me a way out of this shithole.’

‘hello, I’m praying.’

‘I seduced him with my nubile young body. you caught me.’

‘you can’t scare me into a confession, because I’m telling the truth.’

‘and that means you’re shit at your job.’

‘if you cross them—- if they even think you’ve looked at them funny—- they can and will hurt you.’

‘it’s easy to lose a language when you never speak it.’

‘you’re offending them with your very presence.’

‘they’ll make you an outsider, because you’re not like them.’

‘no matter what they say, you deserve to be here.’

‘I’ll kill you. I will fucking kill you.’

‘I went out in the sun once. you should try it sometime.’

‘oh, you’re the one ____ hates.’

‘you’d be a prick too if your family was both rich and attractive.’

‘honestly? I think he just comes in here to get high.’

‘I think you’re flattering yourself.’

‘unless you’ve got a weapon, don’t aim for the face. the neck’s a better target.’

‘we aren’t here to be sophisticated. we’re here to fuck people up.’

‘this is the only kick you’ll ever need, really. a kick to bring down the most powerful warriors.’

‘power dictates acceptability.’

‘he hasn’t done anything to earn my respect. all he’s done is act high and mighty.’

‘you’re nothing. you shouldn’t even be here.’

‘consider me bullied and intimidated, just let me sleep.’

‘he’s playing with her. he’ll end it soon.’

‘they’re good at fighting, but not much else.’

‘spend a lot of time looking at ____’s eyes do you?’

‘a betrayal of that sort would not have been out of character.’

‘come on, you belong here too.’

‘they’re not going to get rid of me like this. not this easily.’

‘I’m calm! I’m extremely calm!’

‘you’d rather kill your own people than let the opponent’s army walk away?’

‘you don’t let an enemy walk away if they’ll certainly be a threat to you later.’

‘he can’t stop raving about you.’

‘oh, don’t pretend to be bashful. you love it.’

‘you’re a walking disaster.’

‘anyone this obstinate deserves some attention, if only to make sure you don’t become a walking hazard to everyone around you.’

‘I heard he got drunk on rice wine last week and pissed into ____’s window. he sounds awesome.’

‘it’s me, your favorite person in the whole wide world.’

‘I do not have a problem. you are making up this problem for reasons unbeknownst to me.’

‘you’re killing the mood.’

‘they were weak as shit. scrawnier than you, even.’

‘you’re a real asshole. you know that right?’

‘your state of mind is just as important as the state of your body.’

‘sometimes you must loose the string to let the arrow fly.’

‘because I want to break his stupid face.’

‘he’s the most dangerous when he’s desperate.’

‘from this point on you’re just going to be a danger to yourself and everyone around you.’

‘you’re too reckless. you hold grudges, you cultivate your rage and let it explode, and you’re careless about what you’re taught.’

‘I knew I was the only one that could help him.’

‘they honed his rage like a weapon, instead of teaching him to control it.’

‘one urinating statue for my easily entertained friend.’

‘I don’t believe in gods. but I believe in power.’

‘one might say you’ve been obsessed with ____.’

‘don’t look to your left. pretend you’re taking to me.’ / ‘I am talking to you.’

‘we’re studying very weird things.’

‘I don’t actually know what I’m getting into.’

‘here is what happened: you called a god, and the god answered.’

‘you know that if you don’t get answers now, the hunger will consume you and your mind will crack.’

‘you’ve glimpsed the other side and you can’t rest until you fill in the blanks.’

‘supernatural is a word for anything that doesn’t fit your present understanding of the world.’

‘I’m supposed to take it as true that you’re a god?’

‘I’m not a god. I am a mortal who has woken up, and there is power in awareness.’

‘are we getting high? oh, wow. we’re getting high.’

‘ah. the law. so inconvenient. so irrelevant.’

‘we are not madmen. but how can we convince anyone of this, when the rest of the world believes it so?’

‘the price of power is pain.’

‘I understand the truth of things. I know what it means to exist.’

‘prey do not question the motives of the predator. the dead do not question the living. mortals do not challenge the gods.’

‘I killed for you. I would have done anything for you.’

‘I have seen the end of things. the shape of the world has changed.’

‘war doesn’t determine who’s right. war determines who remains.’

‘it’s alright. I know what you are.’

‘I thought I was the only one left.’

‘we have developed the power to rewrite the fabric of this world. if we don’t use it, then what’s the point?’

‘I don’t mess with that shit. it screws you up.’

‘I understand the appeal, I really do, but I like having my mind to myself.’

‘he’s a charmer. like a new puppy. you think he’s adorable until he pisses on the furniture.’

‘there’s no routine. no discipline. nothing you’re used to. am I right?’

‘so you’re the last of your kind. that’s sad.’

‘If you hold the fate of the country in your hands, if you have accepted your obligation to your people, then your life ceases to be your own.’

‘____ feared, and so he held you back.’

‘great danger is always associated with great power. the difference between the great and the mediocre is that the great are willing to take that risk.’

‘don’t ever let go on that anger. rage gives you power. caution does not.’

‘don’t give in... you’ve been so brave... but it takes more bravery to resist the power.’

‘the nature of this god is to destroy. the nature of this god is to be greedy, to never be satisfied with what he has consumed.’

‘so. screaming at rocks. is that, like, normal behavior here?’

‘fix this. prove your worth. do your fucking job or get out.’

‘I saved your life. doesn’t that make us at least a little square?!’

‘I was scared of you. and I lashed out.’

‘I thought I was better than you, and I’m not. I’m sorry.’

‘when I killed it, it felt like murder.’

‘look, I’m happy to discuss this, really, but I’m currently leaking life out three different wounds and I think I may pass out. would you give me a moment?’

‘well maybe ____ should get his head out of his ass.’

‘ ____ is more fragile than you think.’

‘look, asshole, I don’t need you to tell me what to do.’

‘they say he can read the future. shatter minds.’

‘you misunderstand the nature of our relationship. I am not your friend.’

‘he’s not human. he—- I don’t know what he is.’

‘but ___ was never allowed to be human.’

‘do you trust me?’ / ‘no. but that’s irrelevant.’

‘you don’t know what true suffering is.’

‘I have seen more than my fair share of suffering.’

‘that boy is beyond redemption. that boy is broken like the rest.’

‘I don’t want to be saved! I want power!’

‘that power will destroy everything you’ve ever loved. you will defeat your enemy, and the victory will turn to ashes in your mouth.’

‘we’ve missed something. something’s been laid out for us, but we can’t see it.’

‘fretting won’t make the dead come back to life.’

‘there was nothing human in those eyes.’

‘It was a nightmare, and I couldn’t wake up.’

‘I don’t need your pity. I need you to kill them for me.’

‘whatever it takes. swear it on your life. swear it for me.’

‘I won’t judge him. I don’t dare, because I don’t have the right. and neither do you.’

‘you asked me why I wouldn’t stop him. now you understand. you can’t stop an avenger. you can’t reason with a madman.’

‘I am afraid of what he might do in his quest for vengeance. and I am afraid that he is right.’

‘I am about to do something terrible. and you will have a choice.’

‘they give nothing to the universe, and the universe owes them nothing in return.’

‘you cannot survive my death.’

‘you’re trying to deceive me. you don’t get to deceive me.’

‘this is not the way. this path leads only to darkness.’

‘when are you going to stop being such a damn coward? what are you running from?’

‘you will turn the world to ash, and only demons will live in the rubble.’

‘you dress up your crusade with moral arguments, when in truth you would let millions die if it means you get your so-called justice.’

‘you have not cared about anything for a very long time. you are broken.’

‘I am terrified. but only because I’m starting to remember who I once was. don’t go down that path.’

‘your country is ash. you can’t bring it back with blood.’

‘I’m so sorry. I tried to warn you.’

‘you know the worst part? we’re so close to home.’

‘did you miss me? did you miss this?’

‘I just gave him some of his favorite medicine.’

‘resistance here means suffering. there is no escape. no future.’

‘you have nothing to fight for anymore’

‘what are you defending? you owe ____ nothing.’

‘we were disposable. we were tools. tell me that doesn’t make you furious.’

‘I am sick with fury.’

‘I will die on my feet. I will not die a coward. and neither will you.’

‘we could stay here. we could stay here forever. we wouldn’t have to go back.’

‘you’ll have to live with the consequences. but you’re brave ... you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.’

‘I have lost everything I care about. I don’t want peace, I want revenge.’

‘I don’t need to sleep. I need to feel nothing.’

‘do you want forgiveness? I can’t give you that.’

‘we avenged him. he’s gone, but avenged.’

‘you have to believe that it was necessary. that it stopped something worse. and even if it wasn’t, it’s the lie we’ll tell ourselves, starting today and every day afterward.’

‘aren’t you supposed to be a seer? do you ever see anything useful?’

‘we have an enemy whom we love.’

‘I’m going to find and kill everyone responsible. you cannot stop me.’

‘oh I’m not going to stop you.’

[mintchochipkookie]

Why does hating Zuko and willfully misinterpreting his character seem to be the trendy new thing to do in this fandom?

Oh my godddd!!!!!! The mere fucking THOUGHT of Zuko slander makes my blood boil why do you do this to me lmaoo. But, as I’ve mentioned earlier, I would see this stuff in the tags just when I joined the fandom and didn’t realise that there is a slight possibility that someone could not adore Zuko with every fibre of their being. I see people refute them on my dash from time to time, but I just scroll past any stupid ass i-hate-zuko takes because I simply refuse to subject my eyeballs and brain to that nonsense.

The TL;DR version is: The hoops people need to jump through to justify ‘zuko was bad actually’ is exhausting. It’s such a stupid take, that disproving it requires you refuting so many untruthful interpretations of the source material, it’s almost impossible to untangle all the knots in their logic. (Also, I don’t wanna act like fiction and real-life have one to one parallels, but since antis like to pretend that it does, I figured I could take a few shots at the British Empire.)

Rest of my thoughts below the cut.

I gather that this is a new phenomenon, since the resurgence of the show’s popularity. I feel like it’s a result of younger people watching it now, who grew up with the internet and cancel culture (I don’t completely disagree with cancel culture, I just think there’s a very clear line that it frequently crosses). By that I mean, this mindset that if anyone has or has associated with someone who has said or done something vaguely not PC, they are a bad person forever now. This is a much more complex topic, and I do not think the intent behind the current mindsets are bad, quite the opposite. But no one seems to want to strike a balance anymore or view anyone or any piece of media with any kind of nuance. It’s the thought process of ‘since this book has racism, it is condoning it’ like no, maybe sometimes a book has racism because it is about racism and is trying to portray the horrors of human society.

There also seems to be a new take on the 2010s Tumblr hipster attitude of ‘i liked it before it was cool’ to ‘anything popular is probably not that good so we must drag it to hell and back even if that means distorting the actual themes and writing and disregarding context’. Personally, I don’t even think ATLA is as good as everyone told me it was, it has a lot of shit writing moments (on top of the uncomfortable racism and misogyny, but it was another time, so the standards were different), but I DO think it’s an overall enjoyable show and Zuko is one of the most perfectly written characters to exist (barring 2 very specific moments but we don’t need to get into that right now). Have we considered that maybe, just MAYBE, the reason Zuko is so widely considered to be such a great character is simply because he IS. Not every popular opinion is a good one, but a lot of them are popular for a reason. You don’t even have to particularly like Zuko, but if you cannot see the absolute beauty in his character and his journey, then I just don’t trust you.

I am an extremely character-driven person. I still maintain that had Zuko not been on the show, I never would’ve finished it. Zuko starts as a bratty hot-headed prince but here’s the really important thing. He’s shown in a very sympathetic light almost right away. E3 (or whenever that bitch Zhao shows up) all we’ve seen so far is Zuko trying to capture our protagonists and throwing temper tantrums, but you still feel for Zuko. My partner and I looked at each other after that episode and were both like ‘so they’re clearly setting him up for a redemption arc right’ (and we knew nothing going into the show idk how I'd avoided spoilers). They make it pretty obvious that he’s been through some shit and I think Zhao was a very clever idea. This is some old man in a position of authority over Zuko, mocking him for being a disappointment. It’s clearly unfair, and it’s just another Fire Nation imperialist who thinks Zuko is worthless because he has a conscience, probably. Zuko is consistently put in these positions of powerlessness, interspersed with flashbacks from his past, and he consistently pushes against it. He fights against it all and tries to regain some amount of control over his life.

The thing about anti-Zuko arguments is that it requires you to flat out pretend that a lot of the explicit dialogue on the show didn’t happen. Since this was a show targeted at kids, they go out of their way to say the key defining moments out loud. Ffs Iroh is literally just there to spout words of wisdom for Zuko so that his journey is made even clearer. The most common argument tho, I presume, is the one that Zuko personally is a coloniser and let me just heavy sigh do y’all even know what words mean anymore? Look, I’m the first person to jump on the ‘fuck colonisers’ train. Like, I constantly shit on the British. Trust me, I get it. But here’s the thing. I don’t actually think that every individual British person is a coloniser. Do y’all see the fucking difference????? The country absolutely is, and I will continue to hate their guts till they have the decency to accept what they did and pay for it, but most of the common people are not.

This btw is also a theme on the show. Multiple times. Hama’s (I have thoughts on how she was treated, but that’s not relevant rn) whole thing was exactly this. She was an actual victim of the Fire Nation’s cruelty, but her wanting to take that out on the FN citizens was wrong. For exactly this reason. You can’t help where you were born. Katara, the person antis love claiming was the biggest victim of the FN’s imperialist agenda and hates them SO much, goes out of her way as the Painted Lady to protect their citizens. Like. People see this right? They understand that Katara, the person who hates the FN so much for taking away her mother, still gets this distinction and acknowledges that the people responsible are only the ones who are actively colonising and killing people.

Anyway, I can bet the follow up to this argument is ‘but Zuko was Fire Nation royalty’ and I repeat. You can’t help where you were born. I know people are gonna point to S1 Zuko but again, nothing he does is out of malicious intent or for the betterment of the Fire Nation’s rule. People joke about how Zuko screams about ‘honour’ and then just completely miss the point of it. He was a child fighting to get his dad’s approval. He even says this out loud multiple times. He doesn’t get the horrors of colonialism, because he was raised in the FN. Do people just not remember his monologue when he’s confronting Ozai???? They explicitly tell us that the FN lies to their kids to make them believe that they are the greatest country. And he was raised in the actual palace, where would he have gotten any information to the contrary???? There are grown-ass adults with complete access to the internet out there who still believe that Winston Churchill was a great man and not a white supremacist because that’s the garbage narrative the West feeds y’all but a child raised in the royal family of a colonising nation who didn’t realise the lies until he left home is the idiot. Okay.

Now, had Zuko gone out of his way to torment people, simply chosen not to care, or was too scared to fight against them, that would be a whole other story. And funnily enough, these traits all exist in other characters - Azula, Mai, Ty Lee. Azula is also a child of abuse and I think it’s clear from the flashbacks that she always had a streak of cruel, but she was groomed by Ozai, Ursa didn’t seem to give Azula the same kind of attention and love that she gave Zuko, she didn’t have Iroh to guide her as a teenager, so she simply did what came naturally to her and promoted the FN agenda. Mai also comes from a high ranking family that is very much on board with the whole ‘Fire Nation First’ rhetoric and she helps, but only because she is apathetic. That’s her whole thing, she just doesn’t care. And when Zuko leaves, she calls him a traitor, so she clearly is loyal to her country to a fault (again, she was a kid who didn’t have someone to tell her better, I’m not hating on her). Ty Lee I think is closer to the representation of a citizen or maybe a soldier. They don’t explore this thread (a wasted opportunity imo) but in her introduction, it seems that she has no interest in this war and only ends up joining because she’s scared of Azula. It’s her way of survival. She knows she can’t take a stance against Azula and escape unscathed.

I think Zuko at some point goes through all these stages, but he is by nature, more caring, a fighter, and he makes his own destiny. Remember, that thing that’s said out loud???? Zuko’s journey is so incredible because he has to confront all the lies he’s been fed and the hand he may have had in the destruction, as collateral or via complicity, head-on. He has to live in the Earth Kingdom and listen to people talk about what they’ve been through and he is clearly horrified. He tries to protect them and when they find out who he is, they turn on him. I love this choice actually (as much as I hate to see Zuko hurt) because clearly, the show itself is aware that Zuko just claiming that he’s not like other Fire Nation royals isn’t enough for him, or for others. Zuko has to work his butt off to get anybody’s approval (re, the Gaang) because of course people are gonna be sceptical of him.

He has a bumpy road to redemption which is what I fucking loveee because life is messy, and your journey to being a better person is going to be too. You can’t expect yourself to just have a linear trajectory from Point A to Point B, because are people familiar with the concept of humanity. It’s going to look more like a bunch of messy scribbles and you’re always gonna mess up and I cannot stress how much I ADORE that they wrote that into his arc. You can do some dumb things but aren’t beyond forgiveness. BUT. They also acknowledge that just because you’re sorry now, doesn’t entitle you to someone’s forgiveness now, or later. And Zuko doesn’t expect it so he works tirelessly towards making amends. He goes above and beyond and he still doesn’t think he’s worthy of being forgiven all the time (like when he’s nervous to go see Iroh).

AND (oh my god there’s so many ands but he’s such a complex character and there are so many layers to his redemption I’m sorry I’m gushing) most importantly. He takes a fucking stand against the Fire Nation. He does all these things till he finally makes his way back home. He thinks this is what he wanted, he has his father’s approval, he’s got his honour back, he’s the crown prince, he has a FN girlfriend...so then why is he unhappy? (Again, these are literally his words asdfghjkmhngbfds.) Because he has changed. Because he actively disagrees with their ideologies now. Before he was banished, he clearly didn’t agree with their ways, but now he doesn’t want a part in it. We see his empathy and inner conflict again when Ozai asks his opinion on taking over the Earth Kingdom. See how that works? He had every chance to be a colonising little shit, but he didn’t take it.

I can’t believe the amount of strength it took for Zuko to walk away from this life of comfort and prestige, face off against that abusive dickhead who calls himself a father, and then just...join the “enemy” to defeat them. And he wants to defeat them because he hates what they stand for on a FUNDAMENTAL level. Seriously, did people just turn off the volume during that scene in The Day of Black Sun? This is what I mean by blatantly ignoring the dialogue to come to these conclusions. Zuko, as a fucking teenager, had the courage to fight against his own family because he believed the world could be a better place and he recognised that that meant his own family needed to be defeated. He was literally willing to die to take them down and protect the people that he cares about, good GOD I cannot deal with this. That’s more than any Brit ever did, but go off. I guess by this logic, no irl white person is allowed to be happy ever, because y’all probably have some ancestor who colonised a country or was a slave owner or something, sorry. Oh, also, antis who love harping on about Zuko’s ancestors and family - did they also forget that he’s the literal descendant of Roku too? You know, the Avatar, the guy who tried to fight and stop Sozin too? Or does that just not fit their narrative, so they decided to only pick the parts of his lineage that do?

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep11 (part 1)

Breaking toxic bonds & accepting healthy ones isn’t a miracle. A bond that started with love could end up chained & toxic, another that started wrong could’ve become the joy of a life time. You can do it. Break the cycle of abuse & stand up for yourself, it is easy yet so difficult, you aren’t alone, tho, loved ones stand nearby cheering. Be kind on yourself, otherwise you’ll throw your life away. Life isn’t just happiness & joy, it’s also sadness & loneliness. Break free from the shackles that held you down. Embrace life & Live.

-Tohru’s “ I’m okay” mask is finally shattered! (the Importance of kyo’s rejection for her development):

This is the last part of tohru’s character development! The last few eps were abt her role in Akito’s redemption & their similarities. she staood up for herself & choose a path away from her mom while keeping her mom’s memory in a healthy manner. No more planning my life according to mom’s wishes, no more talking to mom ‘s picture 24/7. Now, I’ll plan my life & move forward even if it is with the guy mom said she cant forgive. even If it is without him, I’ll move forward. I love him so much, yet I won’t force our bond & let go. So easy yet so difficult!. tohru doesnt know anything abt kyo after her fall. All she remembers is his heart-broken face as he wept beside her. Those tears on his face, she caused them. He cried cuz it is too painful to see her hurt. She was a burden to him! tohru restored to her old coping mechanism of pretending “ i’m Okay” & smiling. She did so numerous times before. Always worked. No one noticed. Except him. Se02, ep7. he urged her to show her true fears. Now, she’s faced with a pain so big she can’t pretend no more. the pain of loosing him. She cried in front of yuki! The smile & chatting abt chores couldn’t conceal the running tears! Yuki’s first time seeing her like that. Se01, ep14, yuki wondered how could tohru smile after her mom’s death. She can’t pretend no more! She’ll have to wear her feelings on her sleeve! cuz it IS ok to do so! She tells kyo to give her a moment to compose herself. She couldn’t lie & pretend like she did with yuki. Here she either run away or just try to compose myself! I LOVE THAT! This way, whenever kyo/tohru fight or have any misunderstanding in the future as a couple, you’ll know tohru won’t just bear it & pretend, “ i;m okay” No! she’ll talk to kyo & express herself! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! It gives her so much strength as a human & I’m happy all the obstacles & set backs in kyo/tohru’s romantic journey has led them to be better ppl little by little to build healthier & more realistic love! 

-The mechanics of writing a compelling slow-burn romance:

1. Igniting the romantic feelings slowly: Slow burns don’t work with love at 1st sight. It must first sparkle naturally, slowly & subtly. Both kyo & tohru repeatedly stated they don’t know exactly when they first fell in love. The author’s decision to create an environment where the two live together is a genius way to start & nurture their romance quietly & subtly. Kyo was tricked to stay in shigure’s house while tohru had to stay cuz she had no home, Natural reasons that force the two to spend days together & get to know each other gradually.

2. Dynamics of their personalities: For slow burns to work, the two characters need to be similar yet opposites! Kyo & tohru are both kind, endearing, innocent, good at chores, independent & hardworking. They both have history with their mothers that is filled with love yet traumas. However, tohru is calm yet prefer maneuvering around subjects, can’t stand up for herself, reads ppl easily, tends to trust ppl easily & disregard herself. Kyo is fierce, strong, tends to distrust ppl, despite ppl loving his spontaneous character, he has hard time figuring out if they’re mocking him or teasing him, very straightforward with his words & actions. The similarities helps them understand each other, however, the differences creates chances to clash & come even closer thro various situation. Ex, se01, ep2, kyo apologizing for hitting her head with the table which created the situation where she needed to confess she always loved the cat zodiac! It is HER gush of emotions that struck kyo. ppl really want my friendship? the cat is loved? Thro those difference they learned to better themselves so they won’t hurt the other, kyo toning down his anger for her, tohru desiring to know him even more as he becomes even more awkward.

3. Creating natural, realistic  & convincing obstacles that prevents them from being together:  This is the most important part! Slow-burn is two characters in love & cant be together despite everyone wanting them to be! if the reason that stops them from uniting is trivial, stupid, one-sided, can easily be solved, then the slow-burn would be a fillery & no one would cheer for it! Takaya-san is a genius!

Kyo can’t be with tohru cuz he thinks (a) he killed her mom! we saw thr flashback, he could’ve saved her & couldn’t save her. It was a split of a second difference & he hates himsef for NOT trying! that split of a second also prevented from thinking of better ways to save her than holding her! it happened to fast, he couldn't think of a better alternative cuz this was his 2nd time loosing someone (b) his mom’s sucide being pinned as his fault created this immense guilt & defeated feeling that “ no matter what, I just cause death & misery! There’s (c) too!, he knew tohru! thinks she deserves the world & cuz he didnt save her mom, he watched tohru talk to a freaking picture for two years! heck! he is the only one who can see thro tohru’s “ i;m okay” mask, so in se01, ep 14 in the grave yard! kyo wasnt the only one who is sad! tohru was too! & kyo could tell! (d) her mom’s death is the reason tohru is accepting shigure’s offer to stay with them rent-free in exchange of doing housework! (e)? he saw her confess crying her heart out abt missing her mom so much that she imitated her dad! so tragicly sad! (f) he saw her die in his nightmare!! how can he accept her love,now? Perfectly orchestrated obstacles! 

Tohru, unfortunately, in the anime it wasn't that clear due to shortening her backstories & trauma in se03, ep6. But she too couldn’t see herself confessing love to kyo. Tohru is has low self-esteem, always thinks she’s a burden to others, an orphan who just wants her mom, so scared, lonely & sad! we the audience believed the mask! we saw her work her motherly charm yuki, isusuz, kisa & believe her issues are not that deep.  tohru wont cry for herself but shed rivers for others! grief is so ugly it broke her! I cant let go of mom, must keep her always in my heart, such a hard emotions to write & I believe 100% the director couldn’t understand her grief & decided to split ep6 between her, kyo, isuzu & shigure. But Tohru struggling to confess to kyo is no laughing matter. ppl who are grieving find it the hardest to live after the loved ones die. they wont mostly commit suicide, they are alive, but they arent living. they just go thro the motions & live for the sake of those around them but not themselves. Tohru deciding to confess to kyo is her deciding to live for herself.

4. Writing a perfect psychologically & emotionally packed climax: I dont need to explain how perfect kyo’s rejection of tohru in se03 ep9 was. How much we felt for him yet were mad at him. He we were “ ugh! kyo no!!!! I mean I get why you do that , but you idiot no! come back! poor kyo! He was just so sad & broken! OMG he’ll kill himself after finding tohru’s injured body!! he totally would! his nightmare came true! But Tohru reached him! she wanted him to be okay! he wont kill himself but still feels hella guilty! but so utterly in love with her that his instinct upon seeing her come to life after near death is kiss her! Perfect display of psychology & emotions! filled with right, wrong, sad, happy, guilty, innocent! basically so human~ As the audience you MUST have this mixture of feelings of wanting to hug him so bad cuz this boy has been killing himself for years now yet want him to stop & just see that he was a good boy afterall. Tohru is THE best girl & if the audience are cheering for kyo to be with her, kyo really deserves her! The only problem is for kyo to see that now.

5. The Perfect wrap up of all romance: If you make your audience suffer the slow-burn this long, you gotta reward them good! & Takaya-san delivered! Just like how the entire romantic story is realistic, the reunion must be as realistic too! Tohru is hurt by kyo;s words. Facts remain his words were hurtful to her. I love that was addressed! tohru gets to tell her side, too! If you love someone, you are bound to be hurt by them as much as be happy with them. Simply cuz they matter so much to you! you arent one person, but two ppl coming together. Kyo must work hard for this confession. Must run & chase her. Must earn her proper! He gets on his knees, I cant express how important that is! he is way taller than her, Imagine apologizing while she looks way up & he looks down? He gets on his knees & apologize like a man, for every mistake, all while not loathing himself. He aint going back to that deep abyss again. He did wrong by her & he is owning up to his mistakes. Give me one chance. I’m not gonna force you with persistence or guilt you into taking me. Give me ONE chance cuz i deserve it & no more. The choice is yours. She asks to confirm, he shows her, they kiss, they hug, they are rewarded with a blessing from the heavens! One of the most simple yet emotionally fulfilling confessions in anime!

- Hugs over kisses: (And her kiss hugs her & the curse was lifted):

Prince charming kisses the princess & she wakes up~ they live ever after~ except furuba is all abt “ eternal ever after is not true, real life is where the real love is”

Kyo kissed tohru once, she didnt wake up, she didnt even think he loved her back. didnt even remember the kiss.

Kyo hugged tohru once. se01, e024, He initiated it, tohru was all in tears, surprised, happy & so utterly in love. he called her name for the first time ever, for a brief moment, they both connected, they both comforted each other. The rain stopped, he became a man not a monster, she got him back. She got her kyo that she fought for with none other than kyo himself.

kyo hugged her again, se03, ep6. They both initiated it. He made the first move, pulling her just a little closer, she made the second move & hugged him hard, he transformed, it was a moment were they both connected, both so sad & broken, both feeling needy for the other, both desperate for the other, both just living the moment. the result is them coming closer, her wanting him more, him realizing her love, there is no escape. Admit it. she loves you. You can tell.

Kyo hugs her again today. He asks permission. No spur of the moment feeling. But a long lasting permission to be together. To hug. He wants to hear her acceptance of his cursed body. “ is ok to hug you? this body will cause you pain as it wont be able to fulfill your wishes of constant hugs & intimacy”. She responds, permission granted, for love, for hugs, for a life long acceptance of you as a whole. weakness & strength, sadness & happiness. I accept you all in better & worse! we’re invincible. Why? cuz we understand love isnt magic. It is a path for us to walk together~~~ reward curse break!

Every time kyoru are closer it is a hug. The one thing the zodiacs cant do. A hug. They can kiss. But cant hug. comes this Zodiac Ruler girl so lonely, away from ppl, so sad, meets a cat boy who comes to the house she’s living in, a house away from ppl, the boy is drawn to the girl, However, when the boy needed to leave, the girl was able to let go despite loving him, the boy comes again, this time wanting to stay, the girl accepts the boy. They both accept the realistic reality of life. Embrace the obstacles & the achievements, celebrates the weakness above the strength. Both so imperfect. Both so endearingly dumb! that’s why the girl’s hug broke the boy’s curse. The girl’s acceptance of the cat broke all curses.

Side Note:

Kyo’s confession is so kyo! so straightforward, so direct, & so physical. He’s on his knees, holding her hands, looking at her eyes. “ i want to be WITH you. If I’m gona live, I want to to do it with you & no one else! cuz I love you” that’s it. That’s all.  So sincere & so romantic!

it is crazy how different tohru & kyo are now after the confession! she stood confidently & happily & said “dont you know, I love you!” all while teasing him, her giggle is so girlish & cute! my girl is a happy woman in love! long buried the angelic mother image of se02! YES! also, kyo’s happy face is love! Dude! when was the last time he smiled so freely? Did he ever do that? He smiled in se01, ep4 with kazmua, but not like this! T_T. my son is healing~

Kyo’s “ i wont ever feel afraid if you’re with me” is a huge growth from his “ I want to protect her” mindset. Now he realizes it is two-sided mutual desire. She gives him strength as much as he does! <3

I dont like open eye while kissing, but here it is so perfect for tohru in this moment! cuz she spent days thinking kyo rejected her & even ran away as soon as she saw him, now he’s not only confessing, apologizing, admitting she is his life, but also kissing her signaling they’re romantic couple. kissing on lips is so personal, what more evidence she needs? still, her thoughts? “ it’s like a dream?” aww~~~ tohru~~~ my precious girl! she just cant believe all her suffering is over, now? She was just practicing “ i’m okay” smile & now she’s an official girlfriend to the man of her dreams? He just bent da kneeee~ go for it queen!

yuki’s face when tohru cried is exactly what I meant of “ allowing yuki to have strong facial expressions”! XD these types of faces humanize yuki so much into the teenage boy he is! Unfortunately the anime team only sees him as the pretty prince in most times. That’s why fave yuki is when he’s with kakeru. He becomes so un-princly as he should be.

Speaking of yuki, I see you anime team~ postponing his moment into next ep so him & machi wont be overshadowed by the long awaited kyoru!! While this defies the perfection of all cursed zodiacs breaking on the same ep making akito’s breakdown less perfect & poetic, I take it as the anime team admitting they underdeveloped yuchi & decided let’s give them more screen time & not putting them in close distance from any couple. A week later ep is enough with lots of time. I dont mind at all, I’m just saying more time after/while confession is not what i was hoping for~~ sigh~ At least I hope yuki would say sth along the lines” all this time I was looking at you, i realized i love you” to imply he was thinking of her as a lover not his kindness for someone he helped. I just dont want their love to be sudden simply cuz yuki needs happy ending. oh well~ I’m sure whatever it will be, the anime will give it utmost attention.

That sad moment when kagura wasnt allowed a moving image. lol. girl was given a still image that didnt even move with the breeze! T_T

Not gonna lie... the scene with kazuma & kyo was underwhelming. Why the wide shot? I mean you dont need budget for that. Just give me a closeup from the waist up with kyo head buried in kazuma’s chest. Dont need to waste budget on kazuma’s face, either.... do the old trick of hair covering eyes & show me glittery tears~  why the awkward shot of kazma towering in his own house! how tall is this man & why cant he he fix his roof?...lol

Also, shigure, you got scars man... who can hurt shigure? akito? gotta be her. I dont think hatori scratches...lol.. Aya? nah~ too busy with Mine! yup, akito... another steamy night? could be, she’s changed as he wish now. But scratching a face is weird while..um..kissing? a quarrel? but why? I bet she wants him now & we know he wants her....

More on part 2! especially abt the curse’s lore~

[ignitification]

I highly doubt Horokoshi will redeem them after all the Shit they did.like seriously Shigaraki is too far gone to be saved.Like Ok maybe Killing them is a bit far but it's clear they can't be Redeemed.Horikoshi wouldn't redeem literal Mass Murderers.

Their Trauma and Backstories don't justify or Excuse mass and Serial Murders, Destruction Arson and Torture.Do I feel bad for them?,Yes but they're clearly not able to be saved,This isn't Naruto where you can change the villian's minds by talking to them.

Seriously They are huge Threats to Japan and are literally breaking every Criminal out of prison to cause destruction.

It's Clear the Villians Have to be Stopped,big time.

Dear anon,

maybe. Maybe you are right. But, me and you both are not here to discuss Horikoshi's plan for his characters. I won't pretend I know where the story is going and even if I did, it would probably be just as delusional. What I can tell you though, is that, in my opinion, and please do not take this an offence, what you said is a load of bullshit.

Let me explain before you throw me to the wolves:

The story, from what I get is just now nearing its apex, which means that the whole ordeal of what happened in the last arc (let's call it, PFL vs Heroes because for the life of me I can't remember the name of the place in this moment) is a pre context to what is going to happen right now. PFL vs Heroes has the function to introduce 2 things: villains redeeming arc (or also: AfO being the only real villain of BNHA) and the crumble of society as we know it (heroes retiring and all that crap). Which also means that this, THIS PART, is the origin of what actually is the main arc of the story and which (may, in the long run) might be the why and how of Deku being the N1 Hero in a new society (I talked about this here).

This said, it should appear clear how 'at this point' you mention means jackshit in the timeline. We just now discovered that Dabi, one of the forefront members of the League and Front, is actually the long-thought-dead son of current hero N1 Endeavour. What is then the whole point of introducing Touya just to do nothing with it? Rei has been dismissed from the hospital, Shouto has accepted that Touya is alive and that they might be more similar than he thinks and even the same Enji knows that if he does not try and save the son he already failed to save once there is no redeeming for him.

Which brings me to my next point: if the same Enji knows this, and in light of the fact that Dabi is willing to die in order to expose the abuse that lead him to actually become a villain, what is the point of then just leaving Dabi be? Like, coincidentally if Endeavour does nothing about this situation not only he lets his son die twice, but he also inherently tells that he does not deserve redeeming. In basic words, the only possibility for Endeavour to actually redeem is to save Touya. His redeeming means that he saves a villain. Does it make sense for you to make this whole plot in order to just drop it afterwards and say 'nah, fuck this, i built a whole plot to actually show how society fucks people them up and then destroy that society just to let these people being fucked by society again?'? Cause for me it does not.

Maybe in your eyes they cannot be saved, but remembers what Touya says here:

He is right. All the heroes are as dirty as they are. And maybe some of them are better than others, but always remember that these villains have so many reasons to be the way they are.

Plus: if you think the LoV is unredeemable, then you must think the same of Endeavour and Hawks (who are currently N1&2), you must also think that BJ is an hypocrite (in regard to him not wanting Touya to expose N1) and that All Might, as Dumbledore, is a caring piece of shit because of what he did to Izuku.

P. S. I don't think that redeeming the villains of the story is condoning their actions. It's actually trying to say that everybody makes mistakes. It's okay to make them. But you have to acknowledge them and want to correct them, in order to be saved. This is also another reason why I think that AfO, after all, is the only villain of the story.

You have also to understand that Horikoshi does not want his villains to change their minds after talking to them. Why would they? What is the point? Why should you believe anyone in the system that fucked you over repeatedly and then told you that someone will come save you and never did? I, for one, would never trust anything that comes from mouth of anyone in that society, be it good or bad. They condone abuse, corruption and neglect, so who are the bad people here? Furthermore, it's not even about changing their minds, because this is not about perspective, but UNDERSTAND OF WHY THE FUCK THESE SOULS DECIDED THAT THE ONLY WAY OF THEM GETTING THROUGH THEIR MESSAGE WAS THROUGH VIOLENCE AND DESTRUCTION. Like, they do not need to change their minds. They need to be held together and said that it is okay that they turned out this way because it was not their fault and actually show them why was that not the right way. If they want redemption they will get it. But it's really up to them to do it, however, the fact that they need to be given a choice is absolute. You cannot accuse anyone of not being able to be saved or redeemed if you do not give them a choice to.

Finally, onto the threat to Japan part, I think the threat that AfO poses for Japan and for the LoV (who are puppets in AfO's hands, unless they decide to free themselves) and especially Shigaraki is way more dangerous. You have to separate those actions from the LoV. Liberating criminals is AfO's doing in Shig's body. He does not want to be controlled, but he also cannot sometimes surrender to it. AfO, if he does not need any of them anymore will literally just toss them away. After all, he kept the LoV as it was for Shigaraki, and Shigaraki was strumental to his plans because AfO wants a new body and a new quirk for himself. He needs to be stopped. The others need to be saved (of they choose to). But that was the point that Toga made in that famous panel:

where is the line you draw at being possibly saved? Isn't it enough for you that they are human?

If it isn't, well, I don't know what to say.

I hope this finds you well, and yeah, remember that a choice should be always offered, a hand always out forward (as Izuku did with Bakugō): it's up to them whether they want to catch that hand, but It would be absolutely morally wrong not even try to just because you labelled them as 'not savable'. Everyone is the same. Everyone deserved to be loved and understood. Everyone, here, is worthy of compassion and feelings. Shall that not be the case, the world has failed again. And me, with it.

[kinsey3furry300]

5 ships I hate, why I hate them, how to (kinda) fix them, the better ships you should be doing in that universe, and why you should ignore me and keep writing them if it makes you happy.

Note: this is done for amusement, please don’t be offended; I’m not attacking your ship, I’m just listing some ships I do not always care for, and how I think they could be improved, and maybe made brilliant, by clever writing.

In no particular order, and focusing on ships that often annoy me, with no attempt by me to say anything meaningful or popular about the current state of any particular fandom. I’m also a firm believer in the idea that there’s no such thing as a bad ship, only a badly executed ship, so my objections to these is less a dislike of shipping, or the paring, and more that they raise writing issues that I think are difficult to fix in a satisfying way. That’s why in a lot of the examples below I prefer AU ships to ones that try to messily work it into the cannon. Anyway, enjoy... I guess?

 Marco x / anyone (Animorphs)

Why I hate it: Animrophs is an intensely character-driven story, where the tension of each book comes from the conflicts, external and internal, that the five Animrophs (and Ax) face during a long, hard, traumatic war.  And while several of the character are paired off romantically, it’s always to emphasise character conflict over their different points of view. Jake and Cassie are a pair because Jake’s struggle with having to make hard, grey, morally ambiguous choices as leader is highlighted by Cassie’s burning need to make the right choice, the lesser evil, the choice that leaves some small shred of humanity and dignity and kindness left in this bleak world. Tobias and Rachel are a pair as their arcs deal with literal and figurative loss of humanity, as the slow accumulation of trauma over time turns these happy(ish), normal kids into psychologically ruined husks of their former selves and destroys them slowly, one fight at a time.

Marco’s arc, isn’t about either of these things: Marco’s arc, is about the bright, clear line between A and B, between problem and solution. Marco is a utilitarian, a pragmatist: his concern isn’t the burden of leadership, or the cost of the decision, but about how to put that all aside and make hard decisions that actually work regardless of cost. It’s not about what to do, the path is obvious: the bright, clear line of ruthless logic, but how to do it. His match, his counterpoint, the other character who’s all about the logic of taking awful decision in a way that actually works for the team, and his foil, his female counterpart in this, is not a romantic partner, but his mother: Visser one, making the exact same hard, difficulty ruthless decisions using logic and maths, but for the other side of this war. A romantic paring gets in the way of this arc because a partner doesn’t help him with that bright, clear line, and worse, any attempt to pair him of with either Rachel or Cassie breaks up not only a cannon paring, but their respective character arc.

How to (kinda) fix this: Marco’s arc is, at the end of the day, a trolly problem. So make sure whoever you ship him with is one of the people tied to the tracks. Introduce a character he crushes on, and then in the second act reveal that they are either a Controller, or in the family of a Controller or the proximity of the target of their next mission in a way that will make them collateral damage ,and let Marco struggle with what happens when that bright, clear logical line from A to B cuts through someone he actually loves; you know, like it did with his mother. See, even trying to fix this ship is weirdly Freudian.

The far better ship you should be doing: Ax x / EVERYONE. Ax in human form is described as a worryingly pretty, worryingly androgynous male of indeterminate race. He is a literally Bishonen alien hedonist with no familiarity with human senses, poor impulse control in human form, and no knowledge or understanding of human courtship rituals, and he can shape-shift, including into other members of the core team if needed to compel a mission, he calls Jake his prince,  and he is incredibly close to Tobias, the lonely outcast woobie that the LGBT fans adopted as their poster boy. Come on, the potential for shipping, both with wacky hijinks and sad, tragic star-crossed lovers’ trope is endless. Every line dedicated to Marco shipping is a line of text that could be dedicated to Ax trying to eat a Cinnabon erotically on his first date as a human and hulking out mid way because he forgot just how good they are. What could be better than him leaning into to erotically kiss a team-mate, and then fucking up due to his failure to understand human mouths, making weird mouth sounds, and then licking crumbs of the table in the middle of the mall, in front of the entire school, while his crush awkwardly tried to pretend this is normal? What’s wrong with you Marco-shipper people, do you hate fun?

 Riz/Tem (beastars) Why I hate this ship: Okay, just to quickly ask a question, to people who un-ironically like this as a serious ship and not a dark joke, just one little question: What’s wrong with you? I mean,are you okay? Keep taking the meds: the show is VERY clear on that point.

It’s like those people who say Joker X Harley Quinn is their ideal dark, edgy relationship: no it’s not, it’s abusive! Morticia x Gomez is dark and cool but CONSENTUAL and HEALTHY. This… this is a deeply imbalanced person murdering someone and telling themselves after that fact it was special and rare and magical. ITS HOMICIDE! And even if you write that out (and you shouldn’t, because that changes the character arc of every other major character) it’s still got more red flags that a soviet military parade. This is the botulinum of a toxic, one-sided teenage infatuation. Riz’s entire arc is about how he projects his thoughts and feelings about himself onto this idealised, made-up version of his and Tem’s relationship which, from Tem’s point of view, never existed. Riz never loved Tem: he loved the idea of Tem, the idea that someone would see the real him, see his inner pain and accept him anyway, but he never once told Tem this. He didn’t warn him “Hey, because of you I don’t feel I need my meds any more, do you mind if I try not taking them and we can meet and talk about this in a safe, well-lit pace?” He’s not honest with Tem, and on top of that It doesn’t make sense from the point of view of either of the characters for them to be actually, romantically in love (although  they were clearly close friends), because it undermines and cheepens Riz desire to just be seen and accepted for his real self, and the cannon Tem X Els ship. It also doesn’t make sense from a story point of view: Riz is a shadow archetype for Legosi. He’s what Legosi would have become if someone hadn’t interrupted his attack on Haru. That’s why Legosi needs to beat Riz with his own hands: because then he’s beating the darker version of himself he’s been carrying with him, and he can finally move on with Haru guilt-free. Having Riz and Tem’s relationship actually be what Riz imagined it to be undoes that. It undoes Riz’s interesting, dark inner struggle between truth and fantasy, it turns Tem’s tragic, unsolved murder that sets the entire story in motion into a just sort of weird Romeo-and Juliet suicide. It’s ruins the character arc not only for Riz, but for Legosi, and also, by extension, Louis and Haru, because Legosi’s internal angst over whether or not herbivores and carnivores can have a relationship as true friends needs this example of a tragic, flawed, toxic, failed friendship to bounce off of.

How it could (sort of) work: an AU where Riz’s attack on Tem is interrupted and Tem lives with a slight arm injury, and doesn’t tell anyone out of his complex feelings for Riz. Meanwhile, that bunny girl from the gardening club had been brutally devoured and Rz and/or Tem are so horrified with how close this was to their own near-miss, they start to investigate the murder, and in doing so get caught up in Louis’ inner struggle. Because that’s how the story needs to work, it’s about duality and struggle: and if Riz takes Legosi’s role, and by dating a herbivore he de facto takes the role, so Legosi must take Riz’s. This could be a great AU!

The better ship you should be doing: Pina/Riz (with a dash of Pina x Els), no, seriously, I’m not shitposting. You want to give Riz a redemption arc with a cute woolly boy? How about a story where Pina, out of a need for closure about at happened to him, starts to visit Riz in jail and they talk, mockingly at first, confrontational at first, but later Pina slowly becoming more fascinated in Riz and Tem’s life and asking Riz for more and more detail until they both bond over their shared traumatic experiences and their sense of loss for Tem’s senseless death, Tem’s unfished life casting a shadow over both off them. Eventually, the two of them find, from Legosi who still has the diary, that Tem had planned out an elaborate and beautiful first date with Els that he never got to take her on, and Riz, guilt ridden and sad than Tem never got this beautiful moment, decides to ask Pina take her on that date for Tem, with Riz coaching him by phone cyano-de-Bergerac style, Riz finally getting some closure that he helped one of Tem’s wishes come true and finally acknowledging to himself that Tem had a life and loves outside of him that were cut of short by his actions, and just crying over his lost friend, as Pina and Els slow-dance in Tem memory. Or if you just want to see Tem awkwardly date a carnivore boy from school, why not something less creepy and more wholesome and ship him with Jack? That would be cute AF, and more importantly, not romanticize brutal murder. Or an AU where everything is happy and nice, I’d argue at that it’s no longer Beastars at that point, but if it makes you happy, go for it. Let’s not shame anyone here.

 Snape X Lilly (Harry Potter)

Why I hate this ship: honestly, it’s not for the reason you think; I just like Snape too much as a tragic character, and making him in any way happy destroys his arc in my opinion.  The objection’s others have raised: that Snape acts in a worryingly possessive stalker-ish way towards Lilly, and that if Voldemort had gone for Nevil rather than Harry as a child Snape would have remained a loyal death eater, are true and I acknowledge them as having some validity, but that’s not why I can’t stand this ship. Snape is supposed to be a morally and emotionally complex, tragic figure. That “After all this time?” line was the best line in the Deathly Hallows.  Snape is supposed to show the equality destructive and redemptive power of  love. It’s sort of trinity: Lilly shows the pure power of true, unconditional love in her sacrifice to save Harry, Voldy shows what self-destruction and cruelty a life without understanding love leads to, and Snape sits somewhere in the middle: his one-sided  un-requited love being both the cause of his darkest, and his greatest actions. His curse, and his redemption, fall and rise. Making him happy messes that up.

How to (kinda) fix this ship: make them miserable. Make them fall for each-other only to be pulled apart by circumstance (you know, like they were in the darn original source material). You’re serious about making this a tragic, dark romance? Don’t ship them when they’re at school: Ship them during Voldemort’s rise to power, in the 80’s, after Lilly is married. Have the original Order of the Phoenix send her to meet with Snape and use their previous relation to try to milk some information out of him. Have her feel conflicted about it, have James furious about it, but have her do it anyway for the greater good. Have her meet up secretly with Snape who is angry and distrustful, knowing his must be a trap, and talk. Have the relationship slowly build over time against the backdrop of a cold-war spy thriller, as Lilly slowly realizes that she has some lingering feelings for Snape, but can’t reconcile them her loyalty to the order and her family. Make this a love story of conflicted feelings, divided loyalties, and spy-work against the background of drawing war-clouds. Have Snape offer to leave Voldemort, if she’ll leave the Order, and run away with him, but by that point she knows she’s pregnant and chooses to stay, out of loyalty even though she’s crushing on Snape. Have him show up at the rendezvous expecting for her to be there only for James to lead an Order Ambush, and a fight to ensure, on top of Tower Bridge in the howling wind and rain, Snape surviving but having his spirit crushed and fleeing before Lilly can tell him her true feelings. Make it big, and melodramatic, but above all, make it tragic.  Because that’s the only way Snape works as a character. Always.

The better ship you should be doing: Ginny X Nevil or Luna x Nevil: You want tragic lovers, at school, with divided loyalties, who never get together in the main cannon because a Potter ruins it and gets the girl? Ginny X Nevil. Write what was happening that final year Harry wasn’t at school when they took Dumbledore’s Army and make it work in earnest. Heck, you could even have Snape, as headmaster, hated by them but secretly trying to protect them as a secondary character to their secret, forbidden love. You don’t want to break up Harry X Ginny? Luna X Nevil is sweet and wholesome, but also tragic as they never get a chance, having their school life taken over by the horror of that final year and the need to fight for their very souls in a school run by Death Eaters and the trauma of the Battle of Hogwarts meaning that in order to put away the past and move on, they need to leave each other behind. Hell, do an AU where they canonically end up together, why not? They deserve happiness.

 Dean / Sam AKA Wincest (Supernatural)

Why I hate this ship: They’re brothers. The show even makes a joke about how squick this is. Several times.

How you could (sort of) fix this ship: You can’t: They’re brothers. The show even makes a joke about how squick this is. I guess a body-swap arc could fix this, as it’s less squicky if its just their bodies with someone else’s minds,  but seriously, the reasons why this shouldn’t exist are extensively covered in the show, and it was hilarious.  To be honest, I don’t hate this ship done as a joke, but I have seen some dark spots on the internet, and I can say with all honesty it’s not always treated as a joke. Some folks are really invested in this, and all I can ask is, is your home life okay?

Now, done as a joke, I’m 110% behind this. This is exactly the sort of insane wacky bullshit that makes for a good crack-fic. For example imagine that the supernatural threat of the week was book that made anything written in it come true, and the brothers are trying to find and destroy it, but they keep getting distracted by their burgeoning romantic feelings for each-other, and suddenly realise that the owner of the book is a fan on the in-universe novels, and writing slash-fic in the book. They need to find the writer before they make them do something they’ll both regret, but it’s just so distracting when Sam’s beautiful eyes are right there and- dammit, Sam, it’s happening again! Make Sam less concerned and even a little amused, with it, but make Dean hate what’s going on. Especially when the writer’s description suddenly makes Sam noticeably better hung that him. Make the villain turn out to be Becky from “Sympathy for the devil” and end with them trying to take the book away as she writes frantically to force them to do her bidding, and you’ve got yourself a good fic.

The better ship you should be doing: Cas/Sam or Cas/Dean or Cas/Sam AND Dean fic. Duh. Once again the show-runners beat the fans to the mark and pointed out that this is the best ship, and then they took it away just to fuck with us.

 Any Katniss ship that ignores her obsession with Emotional Security Logic. (The Hunger Games)

Why I hate these ships: Katniss is, briefly put, a mess before the books ever start, her father’s death and harsh upbringing have arguably given her PTSD before she ever volunteers for the reaping, and it doesn’t get better from there.  In psychology, Emotional Security Theory (EST) is a hypothesis that the heightened emotions surrounding repeated violent exposures leaves children vulnerable to dysregulated distress responses and eventual psychopathology, aka, why Kat be so messed up.  Her internal monologue makes the books completely clear that her choice in partners is not motivated by normal affections, but by deep, deep fear. A fear of loss, abandonment and death that leads her to make every decision about what minimises her, and her sister’s, exposure to potential physical and emotional harm. It’s frantic, fraught, cold survivalist thinking. And the other characters in the book notice and acknowledge it! “Which of us will she pick?” “She’ll pick whoever she can’t survive without.” Kat doesn’t like herself for it, but she does eventually admit to herself that she makes her decisions like this.

How do we fix this ship: Ship Kat with whoever you like, but give her a good reason to pick them: and in Kat’s mind “A good reason” is based on Emotional Security Logic, she needs to have a pressing reason why this ship makes her and her sister safer. Do that, and you’ve got yourself a good Katniss story. Don’t do that, and while you may or may not have a good story, the person staring in it isn’t Katniss Everdeen anymore.

The better ship you should be writing: Finick X Annie. Or, Haymitch prequel ships

FinAnn. This, this ship has some real potential to it, and is criminally underutilized. Finick and Annie’s relationship is one of the most tragic and romantic in the story, and has so much to offer. Or, if you want to have a hard-bitten character from district 12 struggling with trying to find love in the hellish combat of the games, do a prequel in which Haymitch finds love in the capitol during training, but loses then in the area and turns to drink as a result. Heck, you could even have some fun with this and turn it into a dark comedy, or a great tragic love story, whatever you like. It’s got potential, and his backstory is vague enough you could do a lot with it.

So, tell me below why I’m wrong, and have fun with your writing: just because I hate that ship doesn’t mean you should. Enjoy yourselves.

I’m off to write awful Ax/Pina/Luna Polyjuice’d into Nevil/Cas/Finick fiction set at an anime high-school that fights a magical war against other fictional schools, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[the-void-i-scream-into]

White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 1/3

Full Story: Part 2, Part 3

Hello everyone! I hope everyone who is reading this is healthy and safe. This is a fanfic about my favorite characters, Kang Sujin and Han Seojun. I really love these two together so I wrote what I had hoped to see in True Beauty. This is my first time writing fanfiction so its not that good. But I hope you still enjoy it. I didn’t change anything from True Beauty, rather continued the events from the ending with a focus on giving Sujin the redemption arc she so rightly deserved. 

I really have to thank everyone on the shooters gc, especially @prodmina, for being so amazing and awesome. Never before have I come accross such amazing, wonderful, open and friendly group of people. I’m not that active on the chat, but I am so grateful it exists. Thank you to everyone on there. This is dedicated to you all.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 5.9k

Rating: T

PART 1

i.

If you asked Han Seojun why he loved Lim Jukyung, he wouldn’t be able to answer. His feelings for her overwhelmed him to the point of inarticulation. His heart still skipped a beat every time he saw her at dinner with their group. He still found himself staring at her from time to time, unable to look away from her beauty. He even wrote songs about her, his only form of expressing his love for her.

He still thought of her in every free minute he had between practice, performance and recording sessions. When he couldn’t see her, he would watch her make-up tutorials online. He was proud of how far she had come with her career as a make-up artist. Her popularity was a source of delight for him. It was only appropriate that everyone see how amazing she was.

The only problem was, Lim Jukyung didn’t belong to him. She belonged to Lee Suho, his best friend.

Seojun was happy for the two of them. They were the best people he knew and even he had to acknowledge that they belonged together. Which was why, having these feelings were burdensome for Seojun.

It was burdensome, seeing them all lovey-dovey with each other and talking about their lives together. Normally Seojun would have faked a smile, but when they were all together in a group he scowled without reserve. He got away with it because right beside Suho and Jukyung, sat Taehoon and Suah who were the kind of cheesy couple that made anyone barf.

In fact, just the thought of Suah and Taehoon fawning over each other made him cringe. Even now as he walked into the special private room they frequented for their gatherings—private due to Seojun’s and Jukyung’s popularity—Seojun was pushing back his gag reflex at the squealing he could hear outside.

He scolded them as he entered the room. “Guys! I can hear you all the way from the front entrance. Why are you always so—” He stopped in his tracks. There, between a giggling Jukyung and beaming Suah sat the worst person Seojun had ever known.

Her.

He had heard peripherally about how she had changed now, having reformed as a charity worker. She had apparently apologized to Jukyung about the shitty things she had done before. As if an apology could change anything.

Han Seojun knew Jukyung had forgiven Kang Sujin. That woman had even attended Heekyung’s wedding. But Seojun didn’t understand why she had to invade their special gatherings.

The room had fallen silent. Everyone awkwardly stared at Seojun, then Sujin.

“It’s been a while, Han Seojun.” She said with a polite smile. Her voice deeper than most girls’. He always hated her voice and its lack of femininity.

Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!

Seojun pushed the memory away.

“Ah-aah! Han Seojun. You must be surprised.” Jukyung said with forced cheerfulness. “I invited Sujin to join us today.

Seojun merely flicked a cynical brow at Jukyung and took his usual seat besides Suho. Suah and Jukyung nervously returned to their conversation.

The uncomfortable air in the room subsided after a while and everyone chatted cheerfully with each other. Everyone except Han Seojun.

“I saw your performance on TV. You looked good.” Suho told Seojun.

“Why the hell have you invited Kang Soojin?” Seojun asked Suho in a hushed tone.

“She’s a friend, of course she’s invited.”

“Why are you friends with her again?”

“Seojun, its fine.”

Seojun opened his mouth to protest but before he could, Sujin interrupted him.

“Ya, Han Seojun. I saw your performance on TV. I didn’t know you could sing so well.” She said, not sounding too impressed. “You were great.”

It was a peace offering. A way to start off on the right foot.

Seojun gave a sarcastic smile and tilted his head. “You should have known I was that good. I performed in school, didn’t I?”

“Oh right. I guess I didn’t really pay attention before.”

“You were too busy giving all of your attention to Lee Suho. I don’t expect you to have noticed anybody else.”

This time, the silence in the room was palpable. Taehoon audibly gulped. The only person unfazed was Sujin.

“Yeah. I was obsessed with Suho.” She said simply. “But now that I look back,” she made a frame with her forefingers and thumbs, “I think what the hell does Jukyung see in you?”

“Ya!” Suho protested so seriously that Jukyung giggled, breaking the tension.

“Honestly Jukyung. You’d be better off with me as your boyfriend.” Suah and Taehoon joined the laughter.

“Ya Kang Sujin, you stay away from my girlfriend.” Suho protested, pouting.

“You’re too serious, Lee Suho. Jukyung needs someone more fun.”

“At least I don’t go around kicking people in the face.”

“You wouldn’t be able to do it, even if you tried.”

“I know jujitsu, you know.”

“Okay, okay!” Jukyung said. And that was it, the friends were back to normal.

Seojun kept out of the conversations, eating and drinking on his own. No one dared to bother him lest he say something else to ruin the mood.

Han Seojun didn’t care to maintain a good mood. He had no tolerance for people like Kang Sujin; people who were bullies. And especially not when said bully had hurt someone he cared about very deeply. He didn’t buy this act that Sujin was pulling. He knew, that people never changed.

The conversation turned to Sujin and her charity work overseas. She talked animatedly about the children she and her non-profit group worked for. It made Seojun’s blood boil, how she was using a noble cause as a front for her true cold-hearted personality. That angel bullshit may work on others, but it would not work on Seojun.

He kept a close eye on her the entire time, almost glaring to the point where Suho had to poke him with his elbow to get him to look away. But Suho was blind, he should have seen how Sujin’s face gave the barest of glances of pain when he and Jukyung kissed each other and pulled each other’s cheeks and talked about living together.

“Oh, you guys share an apartment?” No one else noticed the high-pitchiness of Sujin’s voice when she asked this. No one, expect Seojun.

And then there was the stolen glances at Suho. That was the final nail in the coffin. Seojun was convinced that Sujin was pretending to be over Suho. She was still in love with him. And that was a problem.

“What’s wrong with you?” Suho confronted Seojun outside, when it was just the two of them waiting for the others to leave.

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you? Don’t you know the kind of person Kang Sujin is? How can you let her in again?”

“Calm down, Seojun-ah. That was all years ago.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that she hurt Jukyung.”

“She’s not a bad person. I know her better than you. She made a mistake.”

“She knew what she was doing.”

“Haven’t you ever made a mistake before? Or are you telling me that blaming me for Seyeon’s death was the right thing to do?”

Seojun was quiet.

“Seojun-ah, don’t take this the wrong way. You have a tendency to judge too quickly, and misunderstand. If you really hate her that much then talk to her and ask her about her reasons. Don’t just go on assuming something is the way it is because you think so.”

Seojun grit his teeth.

“Shall we go?” Jukyung came up from behind, taking Suho’s arm. The rest of the group was behind her.

“Yeah. Bye everyone. See you next time.” The couple waved as others waved back. “Seojun, I hope you’ll think about what I said.”

Seojun just nodded and waved too. He watched Jukyung and Suho disappear into the crowd on the street.

The rest of them said their goodbyes and went their way, Seojun leaving after giving Sujin a distrusting side-eye.

ii.

I don’t want to be a fool like you and be just friends, only to like him one sidedly.

It had been such a long time ago when Kang Sujin had said this to Han Seojun, but he remembered it like it was yesterday. That and a couple of other memories that played in his mind, causing whiplash.

Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!

Those words especially felt like a slap on his face. He could actually feel his cheek burning at the image of Kang Sujin standing there in her uniform, telling off him and his boys about bullying Jukyung.

He had respected her back then, for having the guys to stand up for her friend. Even though she had been all haughty like some arrogant princess and thought him a fool, he had still respected her. He had never expected her to turn out to be such a vile person.

Am I handsome?

Yes.

No, no, no. That was one incident he refused to remember. It meant nothing. Only a source of surprise at her bluntness, nothing more.

“Seojun, we’re going to hit the showers now, are you done?”

Seojun didn’t hear Chorong as he ran on the treadmill. His body was in the gym but his mind as fully occupied by Kang Sujin, as it had been for the past week.

“Han Seojun, are you listening?”

She must have had a reason for suddenly showing up out of the blue. She had disappeared completely when the truth about her had been revealed online. Obviously, she ran away like a coward. If she was back now, it must be because she wanted something. Kang Sujin could be very calculating and manipulative.

Was it because of Lee Suho?

“Han Seojun!”

Chorong’s voice snapped Seojun out of his thoughts and he fell backward from his treadmill.

“OOOH! Are you okay?”

“YA! Why would you do that?!” Seojun snapped at Chorong as he got back up. He checked himself for bruises though his dignity caught the worst of it.

“Ah-nee, I called you so many times. You were totally checked out.” Chorong explained.

“Does that make sense? Why would I be checked out?”

“Well… you have been out of it this past week. Has something been bothering you?”

Something had been bothering him; something with silky, black hair and long legs.

“What? You met Kang Sujin?” His entire posse sounded as he told them about her return. Seojun put a finger in his ears as he was bombarded with questions.

“Did she apologize to Jukyung? Are they friends now?”

“Did she tell where she was all that time?”

“Is she still pretty?”

“Is she single?”

“What is she doing these days?”

Seojun ignored all of these useless inquiries.

“Hey! Did you al forget the kind of person she is? How could you ask if she is still pretty?”

“She must be. I bet she’s still the same.”

“She was never pretty.” Seojun declared. “I can never understand what people see in her.”

“That’s because you only have eyes for one.” One of them teased and the rest of them Ooh-ed like school girls.

“Ah, shikkeureo! Shut up!” Chorong said in defense of Seojun. Out of everyone, Chorong understood best how much Seojun still pined for Jukyung. “So, what exactly is bothering you about Kang Sujin?”

“I don’t trust her. Especially around Jukyung.”

“Wae? Do you think she might still be after Lee Suho.”

“Yes. At least I suspect so. I’m not sure what game she’s playing at but I’m not buying this angel persona she has on.”

“So? You can’t exactly stop Jukyung from choosing to be friends with her.”

“I feel I can convince Jukyung if I talk to her.”

“She might just tell you to try to get along with Sujin.”

This was true. Jukyung was too nice and trusting with people. Seojun thought long and hard.

“I’ll have to protect her. I’ll have to keep Kang Sujin away from Jukyung.”

iii.

He had been on his way to the studio, casually riding by on his bike, when he saw her. She was in some blue vest, clearly a uniform of some sort. She was handing out fliers to people who passed by, smiling widely with that fake innocent look she had perfected. What a crock of shit. Seojun swerved around and parked his bike, then sauntered up to her with an amused expression.

She lit up when she saw him approach, waving animatedly at him. Her happiness upon seeing him surprised him so much that he stumbled and almost fell. He played it off as nothing, hoping she hadn’t noticed.

“Ya Han Seojun, gimme your autograph.” She grinned as she pushed forward a petition to help kids in Africa.

Seojun didn’t take it. “What are you doing?” He asked rhetorically, looking at the pictures of children she had set up for people to see along with information as to how to donate. So she’s using these poor kids for her own selfish reasons?

“Huh?” Sujin hadn’t missed his tone. “Just sign it, its for a good cause. And being charitable will help your image too, no?” She tried appealing to his logic.

“Ooooh,” Seojun mocked, “So you keep up the pretense even when you’re not around Jukyung? Isn’t this a too much, Kang Sujin?”

Sujin’s smile dropped into a snarl, “What?”

“I’m on to you, Kang Sujin.” Seojun got up in her face. “Ah-nee, if you’re going to pretend to be all reformed then you shouldn’t make it too obvious. Charity work is a little too on the nose, don’t you think?”

Sujin stared at him in shock and anger. Seojun suddenly recalled how well Sujin had kicked those thugs who had kidnapped Jukyung back in high school and gulped. He hoped she wouldn’t try to kill him in public but it was too late to take back what he said.

“Han Seojun…” Sujin said through clenched teeth and Seojun prepared for the worst.

Ya Han Seojun! Are you a gangster?!

But she said nothing. Instead she calmed herself, exhaling through her mouth.

“I probably deserve that.” She said, not backing away or cowering from him. She pushed the flier in his chest, “But don’t make these kids suffer because of your anger towards me. They could really use the support.”

Seojun looked down at the flier. He couldn’t sign anything without the consent of his agency. So he folded it up and pocketed it. Along with his pride. He could put his ego aside for a good cause.

“These kids deserve a better person representing them than you.” Seojun said. Sujin pressed her lips tightly.

“Aren’t you being a little too harsh? I’m not the same person anymore. And Jukyung has—”

“You may have everyone else fooled, Kang Sujin. But I will always remember what you are.” With that, Seojun walked away, his hand twitching.

 iv.

The next time they all met up, Seojun made sure to sit between Sujin and Jukyung. He felt uncomfortable because he had to bump shoulders with her, but he would bear it for Jukyung.

Suho gave Seojun a warning look when they all sat down. Don’t do anything excessive, the look said. Seojun ignored it.

He could feel Sujin’s stiffness beside him. This was uncomfortable for her too. Good. If I’m suffering, she should too. But she kept up her polite façade, smiling like nothing bothered her.

Seojun made sure to keep her isolated from Jukyung. He didn’t let her speak to Jukyung, didn’t let her participate in the competitions. He even didn’t let her eat properly.

“Jukyung-ah, did I show you my pictures from—”

“Jukyung-ah, has your sister told you about the tour we’re planning?” Seojun interrupted.

Jukyung would be at a loss as to who to answer and Seojun would move forward, blocking Sujin.

When Suho or Jukyung tried to ask Sujin what she wanted to eat first, he took the first dish he saw and shoved it in front of her.  

“Here, have this Kang Sujin.”

“I don’t want it.” She said with an unamused look.

“Take it.” He ordered in his intimidating baritone.

They glared at each other , Sujin’s face twitching with annoyance. Seojun mentally dared her to snap at him but she swallowed her pride, quite literally, and put on a fake smile.

“Thanks.” She said dryly.

By the end of dinner, Han Seojun had successfully managed to annoy Kang Sujin. Her fake persona was slipping as she clenched her jaw and exhaled excessively to keep her temper in check. Seojun guessed he would have her true personality on display by the end of the night.

“Han Seojun what are you doing?” Suho confronted him outside.

“What did I do?” Seojun feigned ignorance.

“You need to sto—”

“Han Seojun. Let’s talk.” Sujin strode up to them from behind, her face set with determination.

“No.” Seojun said.

“I wasn’t asking. I was telling.” And there she was, the old Sujin. Gone was the politeness and friendly demeanor. She stared boldly at him, almost challenging him to refuse again.

“Seojun-ah, just hear her out.” Jukyung broke through their staring match. Seojun could never say no to her. But he didn’t get a chance to say yes either.

Sujin simply commanded, “Follow me,” and grabbed the collar of his jacket, dragging him away.

“Ya! What are you doing?!” But Kang Sujin was stronger than she looked and Seojun found himself being pulled against his will.

The rest of them could only stare.

“Do you think they’ll be alright?” Suah asked, concerned.

“Nope. I’m certain they’ll kill each other.” Suho replied nonchalantly.

“My money’s on Sujin.” Taehoon and Suah said together.

“You’re on.” Suho replied.

iv.

“Are you crazy? How could you grab me like that?” Seojun smoothened the collar of his coat that Sujin had bunched up in her fist. She had let go when he had said that he would follow enough times. They walked together, Sujin going ahead of him. He quickly put on his mask. “How can a girl be so strong?” He said under his breath. Then spoke aloud, “Is this any way to treat an idol?”

Sujin suddenly turned on her heels, stopping Seojun in his tracks. She was a little too close for comfort and looked intimidated with that unfiltered anger on her face. “Just shut up and follow.”

Seojun put his hands on his hips, tilting his head. He was unimpressed by her tough attitude. He gestured forward with his chin, “Then move.”

He followed her, keeping a small distance between them. She marched forward, taking long strides with her long, long legs. She looked like a general going to war.

“She calls me a thug. She should look at herself.” He mumbled.

Sujin led them to a secluded pocha, street food vendor with small plastic seats housed inside a plastic tent. Seojun adjusted his mask.

“Relax, no one here is going to recognize you.” Sujin said, sensing his discomfort. Indeed, when Seojun looked around, all he saw were hold ahjusshis getting drunk and babbling nonsense. None of them seemed like his fans.

Still, Sujin led them in a corner table and sat where he was hidden by her. She ordered two bottles of soju and side dishes for him. He simply watched with his arms crossed.

The silence between them was awkward and heavy. Neither of them said anything. Han Seojun openly stared at Sujin. Kang Sujin looked everywhere but him. The lady brought them their order. Sujin effortlessly opened a bottle and moved to fill his glass. Seojun put his hand on top of his glass to stop her.

With a sigh, he took the bottle from her and poured for himself. She followed suit. They both took a shot.

Sujin sat up straight, shuffling in her seat. She first looked down at her hands in her lap, then looked up, straight in his eyes.

“Mianhae.” It took him by surprise. More than that, the regret on her face moved him. If only by an inch. “I’m sorry, Han Seojun. What I did back then… I was going through some personal issues, and I took it out on Jukyung. But even that is not a good enough excuse. I shouldn’t have done what I did. And even what I said to you… even after you gave me a chance to delete the video… I’m sorry.” She gulped and Seojun mirrored her. “You were right. I was only destroying myself. I should have seen that. But I have changed now. I’m not the same person. I know you’re important to Jukyung. So I hope we can get along from now on.”

Seojun took another shot. He took a minute, considering her words.

“If its forgiveness you want, then Kang Sujin, there is nothing to forgive between us. Your fight was with Jukyung. Not me.” Sujin appeared relieved till Seojun added, “However, my problem with you isn’t because of old grudges. I just can’t trust you, Kang Sujin. I believe you still will hurt Jukyung, even if you don’t mean to. And I can’t let that happen.”

Sujin’s mouth became small. She jutted her jaw, pouring another shot for herself. She downed it aggressively before responding. “I’m not the same girl anymore. I’m not in love with—”

“I keep hearing that you’ve changed. But have you really? Can you honestly tell me that you’re over him?”

“I am over him.”

“Bull shit. I saw the way you were looking Suho. All throughout dinner—”

“Aren’t you just projecting your own feelings onto me?” Sujin interrupted.

Seojun laughed incredulously, “What?”

“The one who’s not over their unrequited love is you. You’re not over Jukyung.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. All these years you’ve been pretending to be her friend. Aren’t you the one being two faced?”

“I’ve already confessed to her. We even went on a date.” Seojun crossed his arms with a smirk.

This was news to Sujin, “Aah. Is that so? Then isn’t that more pathetic? Even though she clearly doesn’t want you—”

“Ya, Kang Sujin.”

“—you’re still not over her. I too saw how you looked at her. With that pathetic puppy dog expression on your face. Don’t you think this is awkward for Jukyung? Sitting there with her boyfriend and—”

“Shut your damn mouth.”

“Wae? Don’t like it when the tables are turned on you?” Sujin and Seojun glared at each other with hatred. Seojun poured and downed a shot. Sujin swallowed and looked away. This was not how she imagined this conversation going.

“I’m not in love with her.” Seojun declared.

Sujin snorted, “Hul. Then why is it you who is giving me this lecture and not Lee Suho? If I’m really such a threat to Lim Jukyung, then shouldn’t her boyfriend be the one to confront me? What gives you the right to treat me this way?”

Seojun paused. “I can give you a million reasons; that I’m her friend, that even though I’m not her boyfriend, she stills relies on me, that I’m doing this out of humanity.”

Sujin scoffed.

“That I don’t want to lose another friend because of bullying.”

Sujin’s face fell. She licked her lips as she considered his point of view. Then, wordlessly, she poured him a drink.

“I’m not a bully. I never was. I did a shitty thing that I’ve apologized for and now I’d like to move on with my life.” She poured herself a shot of soju too. “I care about Jukyung. I will always regret what I did to her. But I still have a chance at friendship and I am going to take it whether you like it or not.”

They both took the shot. Sujin poured them another.

“We both care about Jukyung. And she would want us to get along, or at least pretend to for her sake.” Sujin gave Seojun a pointed look. The ball was in his court now.

Seojun remembered how uncomfortable Jukyung had been because of his hostility towards Sujin. True, Sujin wasn’t the kind to be trusted. Seojun was a man of action, he didn’t believe in hollow words. But it was also true that fighting with Sujin all the time would cause problems in their peaceful little group. And although he was sure that when it came to it, everyone would choose him and not her, he still held up the shot glass and said, “For Jukyung’s sake.”

v.

The two drunken enemies staggered on the sidewalk, each supporting the other while trying not to fall; a drunk trying to steady another drunk.

“Ah-nee-ya, I’m not *hic* not in love with Jukyung. I don… I don…”

“Arassssso. And I’mf the Pwincess of England.” Sujin slurred, pushing Seojun upright as she tried to hail a taxi.

“Na ah-nee-ya. I’m not. Nope.” Seojun hiccuped.

“Ah just sstand still!” Sujin pushed his body away but his arm was still draped over her shoulder.

“Ah sshutup! Shut up you stupid Suijin!” Seojun started snickering at his own statement, “Hehehe. Stupid Suji. Sujinnie phabo.” Seojun pushed his weight onto her, still chortling.

“Ah stand still!!” Sujin wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him up. She was suddenly very aware of just how tall he was. Even with her own impressive height, he seemed too big.

A taxi finally stopped and Sujin struggled with pushing Seojun inside. She pushed him in with her legs when he bent over on the seat but refused to move further to give her room.

“Where to?” The driver asked when they both were seated.

“Han Seojun, tell him your address.”

Seojun fell to the other side, passed out. Sujin, who herself felt like passing out, leaned over to tap his face, “Han Seojun? Ya! Wake uuup.” He did not.

“Are we leaving or not?” The driver asked impatiently.

Sujin shook Seojun again. He stirred, only to mumble Jukyung’s name and pass out on her shoulder again. Sujin looked at the driver helplessly.

 vi.

The first thing Seojun felt was the pounding headache, it brought him out of a very nice dream he’d been having that he promptly forgot. He could feel his legs sticking out from the side of the bed. In turning over, his elbow punched into something.

“Oof! Ow! What the hell!”

Sujin kicked at him as she pressed her ribs in pain. They both were surprised to find themselves tangled in each other. It took them exactly three seconds to start screaming.

They both flew off the bed, Sujin hitting Seojun repeatedly with her pillow.

“Ow! Ow! Ah! OW!”

“Why. Are. You. In. My. Bed?!”

“Why am I here? Why are you here?”

“This is my room asshole!”

Seojun grabbed Sujin’s wrist to keep her from hitting him. He looked around and indeed it was Sujin’s room.

“What the hell happened?” He asked.

She kicked him in the shin, “How the hell would I know? Explain yourself, Han Seojun!”

“You explain! How can I end up here if you didn’t bring me?”

Sujin’s raised foot, about to kick Seojun, slowly lowered. She was suddenly hit with the memory of last night. Drunkenly trying to enter the code to her door as Seojun whined about missing Jukyung, stumbling into her apartment and dragging Seojun by his collar to the couch, falling on top of him as he fell and then immediately picking herself up and going into her room to pass out.

Seojun put his hands on his hips defiantly, “Kang Sujin. We got drunk last night didn’t we? Aish, chincha. I never thought you’d be the kind of girl to take advantage of a guy like that.”

“Ah-ni-godun! That would never happen! I only brought you here because you wouldn’t tell me your address.”

“Ah, what a nice excuse. And whose idea was it to go drinking any way? Was this your plan all along? Of course, its understandable that you’d want a rebound with the most handsome guy around.”

Sujin scoffed in disbelief. “That’s not the case!” She protested. “And what handsome? I find you laughable.”

“And I find you detestable.”

“Then why did you come into my bedroom when I left you out on the couch?”

A flash of memory sparked in Seojun’s mind; of getting up, using Sujin’s bathroom and going into the bedroom thinking he was at Chorong’s place.

The red spreading on his cheeks was a dead giveaway to Sujin that she had him.

Seojun cleared his throat, “No matter what, this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Of course, it doesn’t.”

They stood there awkwardly for a moment as they wondered what to do next. They both spoke together.

“You should probably go.”

“I should leave.”

A rare agreement. They both nodded in sync.

“But… is there a back door to your apartment? I can risk having my face seen leaving a girl’s apartment.”

Sujin licked her lips as she considered this. “I think I have an idea.”

From the outside, Kang Sujin’s apartment door cracked open, just enough for two heads to poke out to check if the coast was clear. One of those heads was wearing a beanie, a mask and sunglasses. The other was Sujin. They both sneaked out of her apartment and beelined for the emergency stairs.

“Why is your apartment so up high?”

“We can always go in the elevator where my neighbors can see you.”

“I hate you.”

Finally making it out the back exit, the two relaxed.

“How are you going to get home?” She asked him.

“I’ll take the bus. Nobody will recognize me when I’m like this.”

“You shouldn’t underestimate fangirls.”

Seojun chuckled, “Never do. Bye then.”

Seojun turned, then paused, then turned back. “Kang Sujin.” He called out to her just as she was about to go in. “Thanks… for not just abandoning me last night.” It was the most difficult thank-you he had ever said.

Sujin simply nodded. “Get home safely.”

 vii.

Sujin didn’t remember going back up to her apartment, just the click of the door shutting behind her that pulled her out of her daze.

She had just spent the night with Han Seojun. Admittedly, it meant nothing, but it still felt weird and she didn’t know what to do about it.

Maybe I should have asked him to eat before he went. He must have been hungry. She thought. And then scolded herself, Ah-nee, why would I care about him? He doesn’t matter to me anyway.

Traces of Han Seojun still lingered in her apartment; the bedsheet that had fallen on the floor, along with the pillow she had assaulted him with, his spicy scent on the bed and a metal ring on her bedside table that he must have taken off during the night.

Sujin held up the ring, looking through it. She would give it to him later, if they met again. She hoped they didn’t. She was already dreading the thought of encountering him again.

Kang Sujin didn’t let herself think too much about last night. She changed her sheets, showered and firmly put all thoughts of a certain idol out of her mind. He was just a silly twerp who had been a thug in high school and was now just an idol. He had nothing to do with her, nor she with him.

She had better things to do, like her work.

If you’re going to pretend to be all reformed then you shouldn’t make it too obvious. Charity work is a little too on the nose, don’t you think?

Nope, she wasn’t going to let that idiot get to her. Who was he to treat her like this? Next time she saw him, she would kick him in the face. Yes, that’s what she would do.

I keep hearing that you’ve changed. But have you really? Can you honestly tell me that you’re over him?

All day long Sujin’s hand twitched with the need to be scrubbed clean. They kept getting clammy and sticky. She wanted to scrub, scurb, scurb them of all the dirt and the grime and the filth of her past self. Sujin had believed that she had kicked this bad habit of unnecessarily cleaning her hands, but apparently she hadn’t.

My problem with you isn’t because of old grudges. I just can’t trust you, Kang Sujin. I believe you still will hurt Jukyung, even if you don’t mean to.

“Well who the hell wants your trust?” Sujin argued with the wind.

“Is everything okay?” One of the girls she worked with asked.

“What? Oh-um-yeah. Everything is fine! Just… talking to myself.” She put on a fake cheery attitude and shook her head.

It was only when Sujin’s day was finally over, and she was back in her empty apartment, leaning against her front door, that let herself feel the misery she had been suppressing.

Of course that Han Seojun hates me. What reason does he have not to?

Even the person who had been obligated to love and protect her, had only ever seen her as worthless. If her own father, couldn’t treat her with decency, then why should she expect a stranger to?

Her small apartment suddenly seemed so much bigger now. Big and empty, with shadows extending from the ground to the roof.

Kang Sujin, were you always such a piece of trash?

She hadn’t answered him back then. But in these quiet moments, she allowed herself to admit, “Yes, Han Seojun. I was always such a worthless piece of trash.”

Back when she had been a kid—running away from her problems in school, from what she had done to Jukyung—she would let this darkness take over. It would eat her inside and out till she was just a shell. However, now that he had grown up, she had learned how to deal with this on her own.

Sujin pushed herself off of the door and walked into her room, turning on all of the lights. Rest, she needed rest. And food, before anything else. Most of the time her depression would just be weakness caused by hunger. She was indeed careless with her health.

Her phone buzzed suddenly. It was a message from Jukyung. She would respond later. First she would spend time on herself. But then, almost immediately, there was a message from Suah. Then Suho. Even Taehoon. Then the phone lit up with a call from Jukyung.

“What’s going o—”

“Kang Sujin, have you seen the articles?”

“What?”

“There’s articles about you and Seojun dating.”

“WHAT?” It took Sujin a full minute to process what Jukyung was saying. She was speaking but Sujin didn’t hear the rest. Jukyung’s voice was muted from the speaker as Sujin searched through Naver for her and Seojun’s name.

“It’s all over the internet.” Jukyung was saying. “Someone’s posted pictures of you and Seojun together. Sujin-ah. Is that really you? Are you and Seojun dating?”

The room began to spin and Sujin had the urge to kick someone in the face.

“Jukyung-ah. I’ll call you back.”

What the hell happened?”

The articles Sujin found showed her and Seojun exiting her building. It was from this morning. Seojun’s face was well hidden but she could be clearly seen. From the way the pictures were taken, it looked as if the two were involved in something together.

Sujin’s phone suddenly lit up with an unknown number. She knew it could only be Han Seojun.

She pressed answer.

Some JunJin images I came up with just for fun

[queenofspades6]

Injured (Loki x reader)

Summary: You were badly injured and Loki is extremely worried.

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Protective Avengers.

AN: Another fanfiction of one of my favorite characters, Loki Laufeyson! I hope you’ll enjoy! Link to my Loki Series: Just a Midgardian where you go to Asgard with Loki and Odin is willing to make your life a living hell.

***

You and the Avengers were on a perilous mission. A monster was attacking New York and destroying everything in his path. There were already more than fifty dead, and the whole city was starting to panic. So obviously when you and the team discovered that someone was threatening people’s lives, you had to intervene.

Your main goal was to kill the monster and then come back at the Stark Tower.

At first, you thought it was going to be easy, yet, you changed your mind when suddenly you felt a sharp stick tearing your belly apart. You dared to look down at your stomach and noticed your jacket soaked in blood, the tip of a sharp weapon sticking out of your abdomen. A sudden wave of warmth enveloped your body.

“Tony!”You yelled, already feeling all your strength leaving your body.”I’m down! I am losing a lot of blood! Help, please!”

“Hang on, Y/N, I am coming!”He declared through the comm, running at your rescue.

“Tony, I won’t-I won’t make—”

Dripping with sweat, you felt your body relaxed, and your vision started blurring.

You heard someone called your name, and then, everything went black around you.

***

Loki was sitting on the sofa, reading a book, with a cup of tea on the table. When he heard footsteps, he knew the Avengers were back home. Still not looking away from his book, he just stared at a page without really reading. He didn’t want to look as if he was eavesdropping, even though he was.

“We’re home, Reindeer Games!”Tony shouted, heading towards his room.

A book open in his hands, the God of Mischief waited a few seconds and looked up at the team discreetly.

“Where’s Y/N?”He suddenly questioned, searching for you with fear in his eyes.

The Avengers were purposely avoiding his gaze, and peeking at him awkwardly.

“I won’t repeat ! Where’s Y/N?”Loki uttered, standing up and closing brutally the book in his hands.

The team exchanged some afraid looks.

Who was going to tell Loki what happened?

Thor took a step towards his brother and forced a smile.

“Brother… Lady Y/N is…”The God of Thunder tried articulating, looking down.

“Tell me! Where is Y/N? I demand to know!”Loki shouted, his face becoming red with fury.

He clenched his fists and threw violently his book on the ground.

With obvious pain in his eyes, Thor couldn’t cross his brother’s gaze.

Anger was rising in Loki’s body.

Was Y/N dead?

Without thinking, he took his brother by his shoulders and shook him wildly again and again.

“Tell him, Point Break.”Tony muttered, getting closer to Loki.

“Is Y/N dead?”The God of Mischief asked, his body slowly tensing.

“No, she will be bett—”Thor began to reply, but Stark interrupted him.

“No more lies.”Stark interrupted Thor, giving him a serious and painful look.

“Tell me, mortal!”Cried Loki, marching dangerously towards Tony.”Is she dead?”

“Not yet.”Stark whispered, shrugging and forcing a smile.

“She won’t last the night.”Steve declared, his eyes clouded with tears.

The God of Mischief’s face fell down. You were hurt. He was going to lose you.

“Don’t pretend to care for Y/N, Reindeer Games.” Tony provoked him, giving Loki a long and cold stare.

Although Stark was too proud to admit it, he was angry with himself for letting you be hurt. He was supposed to look after you, to protect you, and he failed. He could have saved you, but he failed. Tony needed someone to blame for his powerlessness, and Loki was the perfect culprit. He was taking his anger out of the God of Mischief. It was easier to blame someone else than to confront the truth.

“I care for Y/N. Dearly.”Loki declared, staring at the void of the room.

“Oh no, you don’t, Reindeer. You were just pretending! You wanted freedom and power, so you used her for your own interest!”

“I care for Y/N.”Loki repeated, clenching firmly his fists and frowning.

“Lie! You’re a monster, Loki. No matter what you do, the only person you serve is yourself! So why still pretending? To keep your conscience? If you have one.”Tony mocked, rage rising in his body.

Steve headed towards Stark and put his hand on his shoulder.

“Stark, stop.”Captain America muttered under his breath.

Shivering, Loki stared at Stark, eyes filled with venom.

“Maybe I am the monster parents tell their children about at night, maybe I am a murderer and a liar! Maybe you’re right!”Spitted the God of Mischief, his muscles tensing.”Maybe I don’t deserve to live, but don’t dare to say that I don’t care about Y/N! Because I care for her! More than I want!”

“Oh, you care? You? The God of Mischief caring for our little Y/N? I don’t believe you! Why would a monster like you appreciate Y/N, if not to hurt her? You didn’t deserve her friendship! She is too kind and loving, and you… You’re the villain of the story, Loki, cruel and merciless. No redemption this time.”

Tony was too close to Loki. Only one step separated them. Stark raised his hand and Steve stopped him before hitting the God of Mischief.

Loki’s face broke down. A few drops of sweat beaded on his forehead. His cheeks were red and his palms were moisty. Taking a deep breath, Loki stared right at Tony.

Stark glared at the god, and at his greatest surprise, he didn’t see anger in Loki’s eyes. It was something Tony didn’t expect. Something much deeper.

Sorrow and regret.

Tony couldn’t speak. Maybe Loki cared after all.

“You’re right, Stark. I am a monster, and took the lives of innocent people. I am not asking for forgiveness. Send me back to Asgard if it’s your wish or lock me in the worst prison for all I care! But don’t tell me I don’t care for Y/N! I-I—… She was the only one to reach out to me, to be kind with me even knowing for New York. Y/N treated me like a human being, she made me feel like maybe life was worth living…”

Loki’s eyes were clouded with tears. Tilting his head, he wept his tears quickly, hoping the others would not notice. He was the God of Mischief after all, he couldn’t cry. And especially not after a mortal.

“Loki?”Thor asked, raising his eyebrows.

The God of Thunder didn’t know what to do. He had not seen his brother cry for hundreds years ago, and seeing him so vulnerable, so fragile, so human, it made Thor’s heart breaks.

“It’s fine, Thor, I don’t feel anything.”Loki lied and sat on the sofa, head in his hands.

With wide eyes, Natasha was observing the god with wonder. Here was the God of Mischief that tried to take over the world though, he looked so human, so exposed. Natasha had a hard time believing it was the same god that killed innocent people in New York. Steve and Thor were looking in awe at him. They weren’t used to see Loki like that. Like someone who had feelings.

Shrugging, Tony walked towards Loki, regret in his eyes.

“Loki, look I am sorry.”Stark said, clenching his teeth and putting away his pride.

The god closed his eyes for a moment and sighed.

“Don’t be. You were right.”He declared, not daring to look at the team’s gaze, and nervously scratching his fingers.

Iron Man gave him a questioning look. A smile slowly appearing on the god’s lips, he stood up and was ready to confront the Avengers.

“You were right, Stark, I don’t care about Y/N. I don’t care for her.”

He grinned and walked in the room, catching the glances of the team.

“In fact, I don’t care for Y/N. I love her. Judge me if that pleases you, but it won’t change my feelings. I love Y/N from the bottom of my heart. Coming from a murderer, it must not value anything though, I-I want to see her. Please. Please, let me see her. If she’s going to die, I want to be here for her and then, you’ll do what you want with me. Give me back to the SHIELD or lock me, whatever you want, just let me see her.”He pleaded with honesty in his eyes.

“Come here, brother.”Thor declared, embracing firmly his brother, with tears falling on his cheeks.

“Thor. Stop it. That’s-That’s humiliating!”

“Come on, Reindeer Games, I am taking you to her.”Tony said.

Loki smiled and followed Stark through the elevator, and then to another room. Tony opened the door, let the god enter and closed the door behind him.

Letting you alone with Loki.

***

Tony didn’t trust the God of Mischief, yet, he knew Loki’s love for you was sincere. He saw the same loving eyes in different people, and he may not have loved Loki, but he cared about you. That was all that mattered.

“Tony. You really left Loki alone with Y/N? I am not reassured. We should keep an eye at him.”Natasha stated, taking something to drink.

“I am not too fond of Reindeer either, but he won’t hurt her. He loves her, Nat, the God of Mischief is really in love.”Tony replied, sipping his glass of scotch.

“Stark is right. My brother won’t lay a finger on her. I have never seen him so caring and loving. Lady Y/N really brings out the best in Loki.”Thor uttered, a proud smile appearing on the corner of his lips.

“Guys! You really think that’s healthy for them to be together? Loki is the God of Mischief after all.”Banner pointed out, his hands filled with files and studies.

“Y/N is not in love with him.”Declared Steve, frowning.”That’s obvious. She was probably staying with him because he was alone, and she didn’t want him to feel lonely and abandoned.”

“Don’t be so sure, Captain, Y/N and Loki have much more in common than we think. I won’t be surprised if she loves him back.”The God of Thunder announced happily, thinking that if you’d marry Loki, you would be his sister in law.

“I am not certain, she’ll survive through the night. Her wounds are deep and even if her body can heal, she has very little chance of surviving.”Tony muttered, feeling pain in his chest.

You were pretty close with Tony. He was like your best friend, and the two of you understood each other. Stark was afraid that Loki would break your heart. And if he did, he would be dead.

“We need to give her rest.”Said Steve.”Maybe she’ll survive. We need to hang on that hope.”

“Sorry, Cap’, I don’t believe in hope, only in science. I am goin’ to check on Y/N.”

Tony didn’t wait the others answers to head towards Y/N’s floor. He hoped you were still alive. Speeding up, Tony arrived in front of your door. He inhaled once and then exhaled deeply.

Fearing the worst, Stark walked towards your bed and found Loki asleep next to Y/N. He checked your pulse, and sighed in relief.

You were still alive.

Tony analyzed your body, and instantly, he knew something was wrong. Or at least strange.

Why was your pulse faster than last time?

You were badly injured, so you should have had a very weak pulse. Curious, Stark quickly lifted your top to examine your wounds. Open-mouthed and wide-eyed, he noticed your deep wounds had suddenly disappeared. You only had a small scratch with a few drops of blood.

You were going to survive.

How? What had happened?

Tony peeked at Loki, and instantly he knew.

Magic was involved. Obviously.

This time the God of Mischief had used his magic for the greater good instead of killing with his gifts. That was how you healed so rapidly. Loki healed you, and by seeing his face, Stark could say the god was pretty exhausted and weak. It must have cost him most of his strength. He had done it to save you of an inevitable death.

Maybe Loki loved you after all.

More than they could think of.

***

If you love that fic, this one is for you too.

⬇️⬇️⬇️

You accompany Thor and Loki to Asgard. You’re all excited to finally see that wonderful place, but what happens when you notice you are only a human among Gods? How can Loki ever love you, a Midgardian, part of the Avengers?

⬇️⬇️⬇️

https://queenoffanfictions.tumblr.com/post/621090392400625665/just-a-midgardian-loki-x-reader

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Post Season 8 fanfic recommendations

Hey! So, I’ve been working on this for a while. I’ve read so many good Hyde/Jackie stories, and I feel like it’s a waste not to share them.

I tried to separate everything in categories, but some fics fit in more than one category and honestly it was just a mess. So I've separated them the best way that I could. I’m going to post the categories separately, and after I’m done I’ll make a masterpost with links to each of the categorized posts, as suggested by @springsteenicious and @those70scomics (thank you both for the help!).

Even though this is only one category, it’s still a long post, as I’ve said before, I’ve read many fanfics. I don’t know if I should edit this and add more stories as they’re out (for instance, I have a post season 8 story that I’m planning on posting soon) or if I should just leave things this way. Please let me know if you think I left out a good story or if you have any suggestions.

I’ve read and enjoyed ALL of these stories, they’re all very good. All the stories mentioned here are post season 8 stories. I’ll post stories that take place during season 8 next. I hope everyone enjoys it!

20 Questions by ShanghaiLily

Just after New Year's day in 1980, Jackie Burkhart decides to disappear from the basement to save her sanity. When Christmas rolls around and the Formans beg Jackie to attend their party, she ends up involved in an elaborate game of 20 Questions with Hyde that could change both of their lives.

This story is almost entirely T rated, but there is smut in some chapters. The author placed a warning in the notes of the chapters that contain steamy scenes, so you can easily skip it if it makes you uncomfortable.

This story is complete.

71k words, 21 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna and Kelso/Brooke

After the End by araleebo

Who's to say what happens after the end? Jackie finally thought she could get her happily ever after with the guy of her dreams in the new decade. For a while, she was right. Then, the worst few days of her life happened.

This story is complete.

34k words, 6 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

All That I Got by AdriDee

After being an asshole to her during most part of 1979, Hyde decides it’s time for redemption. And to win Jackie back, he must work on himself first.

Their journey in this story is beautiful, and amazingly written. The story is complete.

122k words, 22 chapters.

Rated M for smut in some chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Fez/Laurie, Red/Kitty

Back to the 70’s by Wicked Chocolate

The 80s had barely begun before they start to crash around Jackie, maybe an Angel can grant her a trip back to the 70s and give her a second chance with Hyde. How will the events we know unfold now that Jackie has the knowledge and opportunity to change them?

Trigger warning: Major Character Death, kind of.

73k words, 10 chapters.

Rated M.

This story is not complete, but it’s worth the read.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna.

Also available on AO3

Back to Their Roots by Hart-of-Tree-Hill

Who doesn’t love a friends with benefits story?

Jackie and Hyde decide to have a no strings attached relationship after everything, but we all know those don't work.

This story is not complete and it makes me sad :( I still have hope that the author will update this someday. It kind of ends on a cliffhanger so it’s totally up to you if you want to read this or not.

13k words, 4 chapters.

Rated T, surprisingly

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Before The Summer Ends by 107derwent

Summer is stupid. It makes you act stupid. Makes you stupid ,

This story is complete.

4k words, 3 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Catch the Bouquet by heatherlea75

Fate has been unkind to Jackie Burkhart for too long. She has a plan to change that, and to obtain what is rightfully hers a glorious wedding. Though she doesn't know it, she needs a little help, and a surprising person is perfectly willing to offer it.

This story is complete, and it has an adorable sequel, called Pop The Question.

6k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Charm Bracelets and Lighters by Aaliamad

Set three years after the series finale. Jackie’s been living a new, fabulous life in Chicago, what she didn’t know was that Hyde was also living in the same city as hers.

They eventually run into each other in a nightclub and have a special reunion. Can things be different between them this time?

Rated T.

This story is complete.

72k words, 36 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

Chasing Windmills by c00kiefic

Four chapter short story about their journey back to each other after season 8. To be honest I love all the stories by this author, but this one is definitely one of my favs.

This story is complete.

11k words, 4 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Daddy’s Home by Hyde’s Bride

Jackie moved to Chicago after she had nothing left for her back in Point Place, but after two years, something awful happened to her. A certain burnout wants redemption but she finds herself in the middle of a pretty complicated dilemma.

Trigger warning: rape.

39k words, 14 chapters.

Rated M.

This story is complete.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Red/Kitty, Fez/Laurie

Date Night by SwanseaGurl

Hyde has been trying to get Jackie back for a while now, but after everything that happened between them, she's not willing to give him another chance. But he's also not willing to give up on her.

One day, a drunk and lonely Donna tries to make a move on Hyde and Jackie witnesses everything, will it change things between them?

Donna's not a really cool person in this fic, so be warned.

Rated T.

This story is complete.

11k words, 5 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Everybody Must Get Stoned by ShanghaiLily

After new year's 1980, huge fights break out between Eric & Donna and Jackie & Hyde. Both feeling the need to escape their problems, Jackie & Eric drive the VC to Mexico. Who gets shot? Who flees the country? Who comes out of the closet?

This story is amazingly written. I always appreciate a good story with amazing Jackie/Eric friendship moments. It’s complete.

129k words, 29 chapters.

Rated T, with some M chapters. The author placed a warning before the sexy scenes in case you’re uncomfortable with it.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna. And if you have a soft spot for Jackie/Eric, you might like the beginning of the story.

Everyone Thinks I Dodged a Bullet by MonDieu666

When Hyde and Jackie are the only ones to see a murder, they're placed into witness protection. Living under the same roof is one thing but lines begin to blur when they're forced to pretend to be married and memories from the past begin to resurface.

This story is amazing and it makes me smile. And it’s complete.

69k words, 16 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Fatherhood by varietyofwords

The birth of Betsy and Kelso taking on the role of father has gotten Hyde thinking about fatherhood.

This story is absolutely beautiful. And it’s complete.

10k words, 6 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Fire in the Light by Noducksinpond

The eighties are almost ending and a certain couple is reunited.

This story is complete.

31k words, 14 chapters.

Rated M

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Kelso/Brooke, Eric/Donna

Heart Like Yours by PoetDameron

This is the first That 70s Show fanfiction I’ve ever read, and it’s absolutely beautiful. It’s based on the book “If I stay” and it’s amazing.

I’ve also read all of the other t70s stories by this author, and I highly recommend them.

Trigger warnings for drug use.

Rated T.

This story is complete.

139k words, 22 chapters total

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke

Also available on AO3.

Keep Me by 107derwent

Jackie and Hyde managed to be friends after all the crap that happened in season 8. She’s there for him when he needs her the most. Will that rekindle old feelings between them?

This story is complete.

20k words, 10 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Like a Rolling Stone by elphabacan

Ashleigh 'Ash' Burkhart is a typical teenage girl. She never knew her father, and never cared to. Until she stumbled upon a new record store in a Minneapolis Neighborhood....

Beautiful writing. This story is complete.

50k words, 16 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Mamma Mia! That 70s Show style by love.devil.movies

Inspired by the classic Mamma Mia movie. Jackie is in Hawaii for Eric and Donna’s wedding and she finds herself between three of her exes.

This story is complete (and it’s a super fun read).

26k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna and Red/Kitty

Mired by Tandy

Five years after she moved to California, Jackie goes back to Point Place to attend an important event. She ran into someone special and it turns out that a trip down memory lane is not as simple as it sounds.

This story is complete.

22k words, 7 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Never Tear us Apart by MinaSeraphina

Unlike 90% of the stories I’ve recommended so far, this one focuses on the entire gang. Each chapter is focused on one of the characters and they all have their own storylines.

This story is complete.

14k words, 6 chapters.

Rated T

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Fez/Laurie

New Resolution by c00kiefic

Jackie is getting married and Hyde is not the groom. What happens when Hyde and the gang decide that they need to stop this wedding?

This story is complete.

16k words, 4 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Not a Thing to do but Talk to You by Willofthewisp

This story is not focused on Jackie and Hyde. It’s focused on the entire gang, and it’s beautiful.

It alternates between present time and flashbacks, but season 8 did happen in this story, that’s why I placed it in this category. It’s complete.

53k words, 30 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke

November Rain by luvcali

After a torrid encounter on Halloween night, 1984, ex-lovers Jackie and Hyde spend the next month reevaluating their past.

This story is complete.

373k words, 33 chapters.

Rated M for sexy scenes.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Brooke/Kelso and Fez/OC

Nowhere But Lost by Zenkindoflove

Hyde is cynical, depressed, alone, and would really like to keep it that way. But what happens when something inside of him resurfaces and is more than unhappy about his current living arrangements?

This story is complete.

52k words, 13 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna

One More Time by CarouselUnique

Jessie Forman thought she knew a lot of things; who she could trust, who her parents were, even what was possible in the world around her. One snowy night, all three of these things change. Now, stuck back around 1978 - she's left in the worst situation possible to figure out where to go from there.

This story is a WIP, it’s been a while since it was updated, but I’m pretty sure the author is coming back to this story one day!

14k words, 4 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, past Jackie/Eric

Reelin’ In The Years by JoyfulHeartEO

I placed this story on the post-season 8 category, but there are some small differences that made me kind of lost in what category to place this. Season 8 happened, but Sam never left and Jackie and Fez never happened. It takes place on New Years.

Rated M.

This story is complete and it has a sequel, it’s called Crazy Love.

89k words, 20 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Red/Kitty

See Me, Feel Me by elphabacan

Hyde wants Jackie back, Jackie wants nothing to do with him after everything that happened. The boys find out about Jackie’s secret love for The Who, and while Fez and Eric fantasize about it, Hyde sees it as an opportunity.

This story is complete.

10k words, 4 chapters.

Rated M. Very much M. You’ve been warned.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Second Chances by Flowers_For_Flamingos

Hyde's life has snowballed since Jackie's death. He moved back in with the Formans, Donna and Eric live far away, Fez was who the hell knows where, and Kelso....Hyde didn't think about Kelso. But one cold rainy night, while Hyde is drunk he causes an accident that sends him spiraling back in time to almost ten years ago, when everyone still liked each other. When Jackie was still alive.

This story made me cry so hard. It’s beautifully written, please read it.

It’s a WIP (work in progress, which means it’s being updated).

32k words, 15 chapters for now.

Trigger warning: Major Character death

Rated T

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

She’s The Devil by starfalls

It’s Halloween 1980, and the gang takes an ill-fated trip to a party that leads to some major revelations between Jackie and Hyde.

I could literally picture everything happening in my head while I read this story and I laughed so hard during some parts. All the characters are on point.

This story is complete.

30k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna.

Stages by c00kiefic

I love everything this person ever wrote. Seriously. EVERYTHING.

Hyde’s there for her when Jackie goes through hell.

This story is not complete and it pains me. It has SO MUCH potential. Every now and then I reread it because it’s so good. I think it’s worth the read.

7k words, 2 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna and Red/Kitty.

That’s My Baby by kezztip

Jackie focuses on her career after the disaster that was 1979, and moves to Chicago after getting an amazing new job. Before she left, Hyde convinced the whole gang to throw her a surprise party for her, so he could try and make amends. Jackie ends up leaving the party angry as hell, what she didn’t know was that she left the party with a special souvenir inside of her.

This story makes me laugh SO HARD. The author managed to write all the characters perfectly. Please read this.

This story is complete.

68k words, 23 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Red/Kitty, Brooke/OC.

The First and Only Mrs. Hyde by The Queen Of Wallflowers

As it turns out, Sam is Hyde's second wife. He married his first when he was six. Mrs. Forman has the pictures to prove it. Now he just has to make it legal.

Donna’s kind of a bitch in this story, so if you don’t like stories like that, this might not be for you. But I do think this is an excellent story.

This story is fluffy and just perfect in general. Please read it.

It’s almost complete, and I still have hope that someday the author will actually finish this.

32k words, 12 chapters so far.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Also available on AO3

The Morning After by ShanghaiLily

Sequel to the one-shot Resolutions. Jackie wakes up in Vegas laying in bed with her very sexy ex-boyfriend and a tacky wedding band on her finger.

This story is complete.

59k words, 10 chapters.

Rated M for smut.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Fez/Caroline, Eric/Donna

The One with the Tee Shirt by c00kiefic

In which Jackie tries to get closure, Hyde's in denial and Donna plays middlewoman.

This story is complete.

18k words, 5 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

The Secret of Katherine by heatherlea75

Jackie and Hyde are keeping a secret from their daughter, one they fear will hurt her. When someone decides to tell her that secret, will it destroy her relationship with her parents?

Rated T.

This story is not complete, but it’s worth the read.

23k words, 8 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

The Sweetest Gifts by zeppelinandunicorns (myself)

It’s a known fact that post season 8 stories tend to be angsty, but this one is not.

This is a fluffly story that narrates Jackie and Hyde’s journey through parenthood. It will be part of a series, I got too attached to this universe, lol.

Rated T.

This story is complete.

26k words, 3 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Wall by Tayi

The new decade begins and Hyde finds himself alone in the basement listening to the latest Pink Floyd album, and the song "Hey you" suddenly has a new meaning. Now as the days turn into weeks, it feels like the whole album is haunting him until it helps him fix the mistakes of the past few months .

This story is complete and it has a sequel, that it’s updated constantly. Its called Over The Hills and Far Away.

14k words, 16 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Things Change by shy1214

Jackie's life wasn't going well, she was alone and her friends were no longer actual friends. She had lost the love of her life and everything else, especially her once incredible confidence. A new strange friend might help her find it, and give her hope again.

This story has plenty of OC’s that crawled their way into my heart.

Donna is not a nice person in this story.

112k words, 28 chapters.

Rated T

This story is complete AND it has a sequel, it’s called Lock, Step and Gone.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde. And that’s pretty much it other than the pairings between the original characters.

Voulez-vouz by zeppelinandunicorns (me)

To celebrate her birthday, Jackie convinces Hyde to take her on a romantic trip, but Las Vegas wasn't exactly where she wanted to go, and she definitely didn't want to take the rest of the basement gang with her. Frustrated, Jackie thought that the trip was ruined, but Hyde's willing to make it unforgettable. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?

This story is complete.

13k words, 5 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke

Also available on AO3

War Stories by Jenny7

It's 1980, and Hyde is more lost now than ever. When Hyde gives into the man and joins the Army, against all he's ever believed in, it will take friendship, family, and a love stronger than distance and time to get him through.

I was reluctant to read this at first, because c’mon, it’s Hyde, he would never willingly work for “the man”, but as I started to read it, everything made sense, and I fell in love with it.

This story is complete.

31k words, 24 chapters.

Rated T.

Pairings: Mainly just Jackie/Hyde

Welcome to Jackie’s by TeaTimeAllOverTown

Jackie moves to Chicago shortly after season 8 to live out her dream. But when a happy, confident Jackie returns to Point Place will her past upset her future?

This story is complete.

38k words, 8 chapters.

Rated M.

Pairings: Mostly Jackie/Hyde

What Lies Beneath by SophiesRoses

THIS STORY IS PERFECT AND YOU SHOULD READ IT RIGHT NOW.

Seriously.

This story deserves way more recognition, it’s one of my favorites of all time.

Trigger warnings for alcoholism, heavy drug use

Rated M because there are a few sex scenes, but don't let this discourage from reading the story.

This story is not complete, but I still recommend it. A lot.

119k words, 28 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/OC, Kelso/Brooke, Donna/OC, Fez/Laurie

Yet Another Season 9 by elphabacan

Picking up on New Years Day, the group has eight months before Donna and Eric leave for Madison. New faces, new stories, and many MANY changes are in store.

Rated T.

This story is complete.

94k words, 25 chapters.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Eric/Donna, Kelso/Brooke, Fez/OC, Red/Kitty

Post Season 8 one-shots:

Be Hers by c00kiefic

Hyde and Jackie talk while they’re on the road.

Rated M.

4k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

Burn War Snapped by SkittleLvr79

Can an ultimatum from their friends lead to the end of a long, bitter feud?

Rated M. Very M.

3k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Canada by angelwithawand

They agreed not to talk about marriage in The United States. Luckily Canada is close.

Rated T.

418 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Could’ve Been, Should’ve Been by propelled

Sometimes coming back home means facing the reason why you left in the first place.

Rated T.

5k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Deja Vu by 80sUnLoveChild

Takes place right after the season finale. The countdown is on, but who is kissing who at midnight and why does it feel like this has happened before?

Rated T.

3k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Fragile, Handle with Care by JadedAngel

A simple confrontation between Jackie and Hyde lead to, maybe not the perfect solution, but at least get them a step in the right direction.

Rated T.

6k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

How I Spent my Decade: Steven Hyde by 177istaken

Are memories enough? How Hyde spent the 80's dealing with his favorite chick.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Just a Small Glimpse by AdriDee

A small one-shot about Edna’s thoughts when she sees Hyde and his family. I wouldn’t call this a sequel, but it’s the same universe of All That I Got, a multichapter story written by the same author.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Background Jackie/Hyde

Karaoke by 80sUnLoveChild

It's New Years Eve 1979, and as usual the Forman's are having their New Years party. Why oh why did Bob bring his Karaoke and why is Eric so insistent that Hyde sing?

This story is funny as hell, I love Eric.

Rated T.

5k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Eric/Donna

New Years Day by legally_blonde

Takes place right after the series finale. Jackie and Hyde are cleaning bottles on New Year’s day.

Rated T.

2k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Reversed by SkittlezLvr79

Set in 1986. Hyde finds himself in a somewhat familiar situation but this time, he's on the opposite side of things from where he usually stands.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

So far, this is all.

Stay by FreyReh

Everyone gets together again for Kitty’s 50th birthday and old feelings stir between Jackie and Hyde.

Rated T.

7k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, background Red/Kitty and Eric/Donna

Stoner’s Nightmare by Bunny1

What if season 8 was just a nightmare?

Rated T.

581 words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Force by 107derwent

Eric’s back and the whole gang is back together, but some things are still missing.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The One I Love by c00kiefic

“He’s been on Jackie’s bad side for so long that he’s forgotten what it’s like to be on her good one.”

Hyde sees the love of his life getting engaged to someone else and decides he’s not going to let that happen.

Rated M.

4k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

The Princess and the Rebel by ForTheLoveOfFanFiction

Much of the damage of 1979 has been repaired; all except Jackie and Hyde. A trip in 1980 to see 'The Empire Strikes Back' makes Eric and Donna wonder if there is still hope for everyone's favourite princess and rebel.

Rated T.

1k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde, Donna/Eric

Zozo: A Journey to Understanding by zpplnchick

"You don't deserve a real tattoo. But if I were to get one, I'd show it to Fez before I'd ever show it to you!" Ironically, that's pretty much how it happened.

Rated T.

3k words.

Pairings: Jackie/Hyde

Oh, just one thing, speaking as someone who writes, it would be really cool if you guys decide to leave a review (or a comment, if the story is on AO3) in the stories you read, especially the unfinished ones. It really motivates the authors, and receiving a compliment is always a mood lifter. I’ve seen some authors updating stories after years because of nice reviews, so... yeah, this is just an idea.

Next category: Stories that take place during season 8. I’ll post it soon.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Why do you think Tomarry would work? I see a lot of people hating on it and the only response I ever see is that they come from similar backgrounds or people just like enemies to lovers. Also which horcrux do you think Harry would go best with (including Voldemort)

So, this is probably a more complicated question than you intended, but that’s because I live in bizarre head canon lands that few ever dare venture towards.

With that, let’s get started.

But What Do You Really Ship, Muffin?

First, it probably bears saying that I’m not really a Tomarry shipper. I know, I’ve written more than one Tomarry story, so if that’s not Tomarry what is? Well, remember that those Tomarry pairing tags are a filthy lie. October I committed the grievous sin of breaking up the Tomarry and throwing Tom at Harry’s mother. Lily and the Art of Being Sisyphus is barely a Harry Potter fic in any capacity, and while the ship is the driving force of the fic, it’s also this nebulous, distant, thing that really shows up only in strange side stories where I try to make people laugh. When Harry Met Tom is probably the closest that I take seriously, but I also intentionally subvert all your typical Tomarry tropes for my own enjoyment. 

The only Tomarry story I’d say I’ve ever actually written is “The Burning Taste of Fire Whisky”. It’s a very popular story, sadly perhaps my most popular on Ao3, but I actually loathe it entirely. 

A lot of the time I feel like I just happen to have a Tomarry shirt on and then I suddenly became a subject matter expert. If you want the Tomarry opinions from real Tomarry people, I’m probably not the best person to ask. In fact, if you want really any standard answer about Harry Potter anything, I’m not the best person to ask.

Now, I’m not just saying this to be a hipster but to sort of give some background for why I’m going to give the answer I’m going to give and why it’s going to be 100% different from everyone else’s and yes, sometimes, I do think I came from Mars.

Will the Real Tomarry Please Stand Up?

So with that, the bottom line is: taking canon as JKR intended, completely at face value, Tomarry doesn’t work at all. This is because JKR fully intends a very flat, one-dimensional, and frankly quite boring Tom Riddle. Tom Riddle’s evil, Tom Riddle was born evil, Tom Riddle was evil in the womb because of rape. He is completely and utterly irredeemable and understands nothing of love.

Well, that sort of sinks the ship right out of the harbor, doesn’t it? A Tom Riddle incapable of love is one incapable of growth, especially in a romantic focused story. If you try to write it you just get weird sociopathic whump porn where Tom probably whips Harry in a closet somewhere.

Added onto this we get that, despite what she put down on paper, Harry is supposed to be a straight man. That aside, he’s also a righteous man whose understanding of things like love and friendship mean he’d never sully himself with gross Tom Riddle. Ew, what are you people thinking?

Well, what if we take canon just mostly as JKR intended? What if we just look at the characters the way she actually wrote them versus what she was trying to do? Still no dice.

Tom might now be capable of love, be a far more engaging character who can go somewhere, and be pulled out of a pit of rage and despair by someone but that someone ain’t Harry.

First, while I firmly believe Harry is gay (gay, not bisexual, compare his descriptions of Cho/Ginny to Tom Riddle/Sirius Balck/Cedric Diggory/Charlie Weasley, that boy pants after Tom Riddle and Cho’s kiss is “wet”) he’s also a much worse person and much dumber character than JKR intended. It’s really the first that damns the pairing.

I have a whole giant post on how Harry’s a little yikes but the long and short of it is that while Harry thinks he understands friendship and love he’s also someone who will cut out his friends at a moment’s notice if he feels remotely slighted, uses and sacrifices them for his own ends, gleefully uses unforgiveable curses when given the opportunity, and is the kind of guy who would cut someone up in the bathroom, leave them to bleed to death, and only really feel bad about it when it seems he might get in trouble for it.

This Harry ending up even with a Tom who could potentially be redeemed would more likely lead to, well, weird psychopathic whump porn where Harry tortures Tom in his basement to make him pay for all the horrible things he’s done while Harry claims he’s the most moral person ever because his mother loved him.

So, yeah, no Tomarry for you.

But Wait, Didn’t You Say You Believed in Tomarry?

What I believe in are archetypes.

Remove what Harry’s supposed to be, remove what I think he actually is (one maladjusted, violent, dude with a whole lot of anger issues), let’s make Harry what perhaps JKR didn’t even know she wanted: one of those rare fundamentally good heroes who warps an entire story with the strength of their inner nobility.

Harry Potter is meant to be a story about love and friendship. Now, it’s not actually, and we sort of end with Harry being Jesus and none of us are sure why. Except that he apparently forgives Dumbledore and Snape for brainwashing him to be a kamikaze agent. They’re the bravest men he knows. But let’s pretend it actually is a story about love and friendship.

To me, the strongest story of love we could possibly have had in this world is the redemption of Tom Riddle. Here is a man who was supposed to have been irredeemable since birth, he has done many horrific and unforgiveable things, grew up in extreme hardship in a society that spits on everything he ever was, and is mired in bitterness, despair, and rage. Beneath all that, Tom Riddle has given up hope in the world and is now content to burn it down himself.

Harry, through the nobility of his spirit and integrity of his character, somehow managing to redeem Tom Riddle is not only a fascinating story but a very good one at its core. The fact that they are tied together by destiny as well as tragedy, that Harry houses a shard of Tom’s soul (and I do so love horcruxes), only makes it more so.

This is the kind of story that carries epics, and that is why I gravitate towards it.

Now, do I change Harry up to do so? Good god, yes. I wouldn’t say any Harry Potter I have written is anything close to the Harry we know from canon. Some are closer than others, but they always in some way deviate. That said, from what I’ve seen almost nobody writes the actual Harry we remember from canon, so this is a very standard practice I can get away with, without too many people calling foul.

Ultimately ending in tragedy or in the full redemption of Tom: either works with these base characterizations and the world is your oyster.

What About All Those Other Arguments?

I’m not going to get into this too much except that I wouldn’t argue Tomarry works for the reasons you list. At all.

On the similar backgrounds, the fact is Harry and Tom don’t have similar backgrounds, JKR just says they do because she likes that trope (and so do many of the readers).

Harry and Tom have dark hair, they both came from abusive homes, but that’s where the similarities start and end. Upon entering the wizarding world Harry is treated very very very differently from Tom Riddle.

Harry, grows up in this weird sort of pseudo poverty where he dresses in rags because the Dursley’s hate him but he never actually has to worry about money. When he gets to the wizarding world he can afford everything he wants. He can buy a new wand, he can buy new supplies, he can buy all the candy off the trolly cart. Money’s not an object to Harry, is barely even a concept.

Tom Riddle is presumably on scholarship and money is everything to him. He buys a new wand but likely all his clothes and books are second hand. He can’t buy whatever candy he wants, probably can’t afford gifts for his peers, Tom is very aware of the haves and have nots.

Harry similarly never has to worry about a career. He never gets that far, fearing for his life so much, but the fact is that Harry has enough money that he doesn’t actually need to work. More, who would turn down the great Harry Potter? He wants to be an auror, is afraid he might not qualify, but it’s not really desperate.

Tom Riddle is to the world an impoverished muggle born. He tries for the Defense position and is turned down mostly because Dumbledore threw shade. Dumbledore tries to make it seem like Tom desperately wanted to work in this weird shop in London’s magical back alley, but probably that was the only position Tom could get (everything Dumbledore ever says, especially in those pensieve lessons, must be taken with a large grain of salt). Everything else goes to friends, family, and purebloods.

Adding to this, Harry has this glowing reputation. Now, Harry might not like it, he might want to be just Harry but the fact is that everyone has heard of him and most people worship the ground he walks on. Doors are open to him everywhere. His first introduction to the wizarding world is from a man who loves him and gushes about Harry as a baby.

Tom Riddle is someone with a muggle last name, who comes from a muggle orphanage, in other words he is nobody from nowhere. (For reasons I won’t get into here I find it very doubtful Tom ever revealed he was the heir of Slytherin until he became Voldemort and let Tom Riddle fade into obscurity). His first introduction to the wizarding world is some asshole lighting all his stuff on fire because the matron talked shit about him.

Harry wants to stay at Hogwarts because the Dursleys are abusive. Yes, this is terrible, but Tom wants to stay because Nazis are bombing London and Dippet says, “So sorry, Tom, no exceptions. Enjoy those luffas!” Harry’s concerns are never treated with the same disdain.

To make a long story short, they do not have similar backgrounds, at all. To say they do is utterly laughable and not much better than saying “they both have dark hair, they have so much in common!”

They both came from abusive homes, yes, but even the nature of those homes were very different and when they went to Hogwarts they were worlds apart.

... So much for not getting into it, eh?

As for Enemies to Lovers, well, it’s a trope and people enjoy it but it’s not my jam. I could go into why, but I think I’ve said enough.

Which Horcrux Do You Think Harry Would Go Best With?

We see so little of the individual horcruxes I’m not sure I can really take a stab at this. I sort of just make up their personalities as it suits me every time I write them.

With that I suppose I’m partial to the one in Harry’s head? Given that he has a front row seat to Harry, has seen Voldemort’s tragic demise, I think he’s in the best position to end up with Harry in a meaningful manner.

Especially as, if you think about it, he could represent the very last of Tom Riddle’s humanity. The single shard of humanity that remained in him until the bitter end.

[wombathos]

ugh one of the most annoying arguments I’ve seen against redeeming [insert controversial villain of your choice] is that they’ve already rejected redemption and it’s like… I struggle to argue against it because I’m on an entirely different wavelength? for me, a villain experiencing a moment of doubt and then doubling down on making the wrong choices isn’t a sign that this choice is going to stick, it’s a sign the story isn’t finished yet

it’s just a truly bizarre argument to me because these are the people who are usually also the ones who think that redemption should be ‘hard work’ and a ‘painful journey’ and redemption starts with a choice, so why the fuck should the choice be easy? essentially it’s uprooting a character’s entire identity, if they switched the first time anyone mentioned ‘hey you could be a hero!’ they weren’t too deeply tied to their villainy and I’m not sure that’s a compelling arc. and given how much people love to wank on about zuko, just for the record that ‘classic redemption arc’ or whatever involved a pretty fucking big moment of rejecting a season long set-up for a redemption arc that almost got the main character killed

actually I really love the period post-rejection because a lot of the time you end up with an absolutely miserable villain, which is where I live, really. like… they had a choice to get out, they didn’t, and now they have to grapple with evil just being unsatisfying to them - or, even if it’s outwardly satisfying, still not being able to make their peace with it. again, it’s an arc, if we’re showing a gradual progression from one side to the other I feel like at least one backslide is probably warranted, and the more the better frankly

also, it’s relatable? the cycle of doing harm isn’t actually broken particularly easily, like… comparing villainy to mental illness is a whole rabbit’s hole I don’t have the time or energy to dive into but the parallels that can be drawn in committing harm to others from a place/as a result of hurt, the... very relatable idea of not accepting the help one could, whether it’s because you don’t want to or because you’re just… too tired, it’s almost like inertia keeping you in place, draining you enough to make it impossible to make the big plunge and actually accept change. and that concept - the inertia of villainy - is one I feel like definitely pops up in a few redemptive narratives and I like it

also also last point but the whole thing of ‘but the hero offered it to them once!! and they didn’t take it!! game over!!!’ and the idea that the hero would be an idiot to keep trying, or it’s not their ‘job’, or the villain’s ‘had their chance’ or even this idea that, okay the villain can be redeemed but no way should the hero be involved, it has to be the villain’s own doing and… ugh it makes me tired. for me, a crucial aspect of heroism is compassion. when you replace that with this weird sense of complete self-responsibility for villains, like they wouldn’t need to have a supportive network to facilitate change and they need to drag themselves out from the pit, it’s bad?? (this kind of rhetoric is particularly distasteful when the villain is also an abuse-victim)

just... must we pretend like there’s a dichotomy of ‘hero has to forgive everything villain has done all the time and must be the one to single-handedly save the villain’ and ‘hero needs to give up on villain entirely, they’re on their own now’ and not… maybe a little nuance, as a treat, where the hero can continue demonstrating compassion and it’s seen as a strength within the narrative and continuing to believe in them especially if they have close emotional ties to the villain, while obviously recognising that the villain’s redemption involves reclaiming agency for themselves and choosing to make their own choices and stop doing harm. the only thing that makes a villain irredeemable is if they choose to be... and redemption is a series of choices, not just a singular moment

[blankd]

Thoughts on The Mitchells vs the Machines

I watched it a while ago and kept forgetting to post my thoughts on it, but some posts here on tumblr recently reminded me.

I disagree with the majority takeaways I see but is that not the spice of life?

As a standalone movie its inoffensive and the writing of it will likely exit my brain in a few months.  However I can appreciate that the visual style was different from the typical fare and the mixture of 2d elements for visual embellishments were mostly enjoyable and well-suited for Katie as the POV character.

It's a bit "hyper" for my liking, but that's fine, it's likely intended for an audience that's accustomed to the flood that is the current norm of the internet.  It was probably made with GIFable moments in mind and that is the most frequent content that is shared about it, so it certainly succeeded in that regard.

My more critical take is that jokes are delivered at the expense of what could be more authentic themes.  Quips are made that draw attention to character flaws or undercut questions the movie should try to answer, but inevitably they are ignored to move onto the next joke or story beat.

The rest would fall more into spoiler territory, so read more for that.

--"They Were Both In the Wrong"

I personally disagree heavily with the thrust of how "both sides" were wrong when the degrees are disproportionate.

I've seen claims that Katie was "as in the wrong" as her father, but she's incredibly patient to the man who does her material harm.

I've yet to have seen someone say specifically what Katie did *wrong* to her father that is at all on par with the *years* he at best hasn't been able to interact with her or worse, actively refused to engage with her interests.

I would generously venture that her flaw was that she was more willing to communicate her feelings to strangers, but she easily talks to her mother and brother- her brother even helps her with her movies and she happily engages him with his own interests, which pivots the point back to how her father is physically/emotionally unavailable and led to the erosion and distance between the two of them.

Due to this, MvM comes across more as Kaite having to do so much more to guide her father rather than a more mutual learning experience for the both of them.

--"Technology that [Dis]Connects"

It's probably beyond the scope and intent of the film, but I was surprised there was no examination about why technology can be more alluring than interacting with physically present people.

For better or worse, the internet can be used as a means of supplementing the validation and acceptance of family.  It can also lead to no longer connecting to people around them because of the validation high of appealing to a constantly 'awake' sea of strangers- the spotlight is warmer than the cold reality that they are not the internet image they have cultivated.

For example, the rival 'perfect' family was never revealed to be a carefully constructed highlight reel that Mrs. Mitchell envies, they really were actually that perfect- because that provides an easier punchline than an examination or acknowledgement of how the internet can create unhealthy expectations.

I also can't expect MvM to acknowledge the reality that LGBTA+ people who are rejected by their family resort to seeking a new one through the internet because it would be much harder to redeem/rehabilitate a man defined by being tethered to "old values" if he was homophobic instead of "overprotective" and apprehensive at his daughter's departure from home and her dubious art career.

But hey we got that quick line at the end that Katie likes a girl, so that's a diversity win or something.

(To be clear I'm not expecting a whole parade or even an A or B-plot dedicated to it, but I think it should be acknowledged that this kind of "surprise inclusion" is very easily erased with a change of audio and would be completely unsurprised if this were the case for countries that are homophobic.  People can be happy about it, but it is dishonest to pretend that this is a bolder statement than it is.)

In that sense, I do and don't hold MvM to taking a "safer" route about how family always has your back, but this still feels like an important omission considering the focus on technology and its dynamic with the Mitchells.

I will also say that it was also bizarre, to me at least, that the obvious route that her father sees the value of home videos didn't become an active point between him and Katie.  Or that Mr. Mitchell's carpentry never really amounts to anything despite having a sentimental wooden moose.

Lastly, I think it's an unintentional, but it's interesting that Katie going to college to pursue her passion is viewed as a Terrible Thing by her father even though if he had his way, he'd be ostensibly living in the woods away from everyone else except his wife.

This isn't a problem, people are a collection of contradictions, but It's fascinating to see what the *narrative* treats as a difficult sacrifice while simultaneously pulling at heartstrings when PAL cites how children ignore their mothers.  There's an unexamined comedy that Mr. Mitchell's losing out on his 'passion' to live in the woods away from people is treated as tragic despite the movie's insistence on staying connected with your blood family.

--"The Inconsistent Personhood of AI"

PAL is rightfully angry at being discarded for something new; it's provided as a glimpse of what Katie will do when she finds 'her people' at college.

This in of itself is a good hook, because there is no one universal answer to when a flawed relationship should be mended with compromise or if it's better off being broken for the wellbeing of the ones involved.  Family and relationships are not programming, it's a choice and a gamble for whatever it brings but is nonetheless something that must be mutually worked upon.

Initially I thought that PAL was being set up as an exaggerated parallel to Mr. Mitchell.  PAL and Mr. Mitchell did their best to provide for their family.  PAL and Mr. Mitchell are in different stages of being 'discarded' by their family.  PAL and Mr. Mitchell both retaliate at their lack of power in the scenario by using the power granted by their roles to infringe on the autonomy of others for selfish reasons.

PAL even gives a 'chance' for her plan to be halted with, I had assumed this was being set up as the thesis of the movie, about humanity and the value of family, relationships, etc. being used to help someone who is already hurting.

But despite Katie looking at the camera and explaining herself, it is never actually directly resolved or challenged because a punchline was deemed more desirable for this narrative climax.

This begs the question of why PAL bothered with the pretense that she could be reasoned with, especially since this is not some question leveled at all of humanity, just two people.

I'm curious how the writers came to the conclusion that this was the best execution of the scene or if Katie's speech was considered immune to any challenge from PAL.  Would anyone have accepted this outcome if PAL were not an AI but instead a person?

It's not necessarily bad writing they went this route, but I doubt anyone would consider this good writing either.

By the end of the movie, PAL is no longer a 'person' who was betrayed and is lashing out, she is an object to be destroyed because the movie has to wrap up.  No compassion or chances are spared to this AI that did literally everything asked of her except take being discarded quietly.

Did PAL deserve a redemption arc? For this length of movie, probably not.  But it could have concluded with a commitment to doing no further harm.  Instead it is an accidental glimpse at how easily the pretense of compassion can be quickly discarded and mostly unexamined with the right framing.

A likely unintentional example is the conditional humanity given to Eric and Deborahbot who are adopted as "family" while the rest of the robots are mowed down without another thought.  Some are even beaten and broken while begging for mercy, because again, it is a funnier punchline.

Far be it for me to advocate that the murderbots needed 'a second chance uvu' but for a movie whose conceit rests on 'sticking by family' and 'giving chances', the writers certainly made a choice in deciding which AI get honorary humanity and spared violent death- perhaps PAL had a point about humanity's callousness after all.  Bad robots are discarded, good robots get to live.

Even the CEO who realizes he enabled this mess (easily the most unrealistic part of the movie, honestly) is given another chance and he manages to take away a completely wrong lesson.

Speaking of-

--"Maybe I Shouldn’t Have Used Tech Like This"

There's a particular image/gif set posted about MvM with the CEO apologizing for the machine uprising, attributing it to unchecked technology and monopolies.  I've always seen it accompanied by people congratulating the scene as if any of this is at all relevant to the movie.

Charitably, these are people who haven't watched the movie and don't know that PAL is a phone AI single-handedly doing this, but most take the stance that this scene is proof the movie is not saying technology is bad, only corporations are.

The speech isn't technically wrong but it is so utterly divorced from what happens in the movie that it's surreal to see people congratulate it as anything but a moment of soapboxing.

None of the datagrabbing was used at all as part of the takeover.  It's all magical kid-friendly terminators with no relevance to what anyone's browsing history is.  If the company was one that produced robot assistants instead of a being a super tech monopoly, there would be no narrative difference.

The closest to a predatory tactic that is used in MvM is the offer of free wifi which is used to lure most people into their cells which they happily comply with. Curiously this... commentary of people’s mindless addiction to technology is not acknowledged by the Tumblr Court with the same intensity as the CEO’s speech.

But more constructively, I do feel it’s a missed opportunity that Katie who's supposed to be an extremely online person apparently never said any bad things about her family or made any petty vent films for PAL to weaponize.  Instead an in-media audio at one of the outskirt locations was used to accomplish its Traitor Revealed moment.

IN CONCLUSION

MvM is a movie that involves topics that ought to be touched on and explored properly in media and chickens out on all of it due to possible concerns with age-appropriate handling or because it was more committed to its comedy than whatever it has to say about family, change and how technology affects people.

It also reminded me that I hope media will finally graduate from the trope that if you spec into any ‘outdoorsy’ hobby you are incurably afraid of technology.

[mostlycompetentwriter]

Dragon Three

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Felix (SKZ)

Warnings: mentions of violence, mentions of blood and gore, lots of sexy times with Felix, explicit smut, language, and alcohol use

Word Count: 7.8K

Genre: Game of Thrones AU; Fantasy AU

Summary: In order to stake her claim to the throne, Y/N must cross the narrow sea and destroy an enemy who has an endless barrage of assassins tracking her every movement. But at least she has her faithful advisor, Felix, by her side, and an intimidating army of Dragons who only serve their queen.

A/N: The title comes from a 3racha song which is totally cool and you should listen to it while reading this! 

Spring was a time of rebirth and renewal - an opportunity for second chances and new discoveries. But for me it was different. Because I was destined for something greater, and it was nothing short of intoxicating.

You see, I sought redemption - and there was only one thing left standing in my path.

My remaining obstacle was a wealthy land across the narrow sea - and the final battle meant that I would need to conquer a distant kingdom with an army of skilled warriors by my side. It also meant finding the very best people to serve me, and there weren’t many who planned to turn against a woman with three powerful and very loyal dragons who served at her behest.

But there was still time for distractions - consider it a stress reliever - and I sighed in pleasure, eyelids fluttering when I looked at the flash of silver between my legs - a pair of blue eyes pronounced with desire. “Felix,” I whispered, tracing my fingers across the swollen lines of his lips.

“My queen,” Felix murmured softly in return, looking up at me from his place between my thighs, mouth glistening with the smeared mess of my wet arousal.

“Aren’t you going to finish what you started?” I asked him, hardening my gaze because it was delightful to see the way he submitted to me.

“I’ll do anything you want,” Felix promised, and I could feel his tongue lapping at my wet folds, sinking into my tight cunt with practiced skill.

I hummed in agreement, relaxing my head back against my pillows. When I met Felix for the first time, back when I wasn’t nearly as influential, he was nothing but a little boy who lusted after something that he could never have. But he still agreed to serve me, and his loyalty was nothing short of profound. Perhaps that’s why I eventually succumbed to his advances - agreeing to share my bed with him.

“Can I fuck you?” Felix asked, pulling me out of my thoughts with a guttural groan.

I smirked at him, pretending to think about his request while I made of show of lowering my gaze to the obvious bulge of his erection. “Are those new pants?”

Felix was taken aback by my random comment, but he swallowed hard before responding: “Yeah.”

“They certainly make your cock look bigger,” I said, reaching down to trace the outline. “But you and I both know that your little cock isn’t good enough, so I’m hesitating because I don’t know if it can satisfy me.”

The degradation brought tears to Felix’s eyes, but I knew they weren’t out of grief but rather pleasure. “Please, Y/N,” he cried. “I can make you feel good.”

“You’re just desperate to fuck your cock into anything, aren’t you?” I asked with a snarl.

Felix nodded his head, holding onto my thighs with clenched fingers. Truthfully, Felix’s cock was actually rather good - it wasn’t very girthy, but it was long and always managed to rub against my g-spot perfectly. But he didn’t need to know that - especially when he loved to hear me talk down to him, and his eyes were beautiful and bright with tears filling the corners. “I want to be good for you.”

“You always try for me, Felix,” I placated him, holding up my hand to wipe away some of his tears. “I’m a fair ruler, aren’t I?”

Felix nodded again. “The Seven Kingdoms will be pleased to have you as their queen.”

I smiled at his words. “Well, I want you to show me your best effort, Felix. Can you do that for me? Take out your little cock and please me like you promised.”

“Thank you, Y/N,” Felix panted, and his fingers shook when he removed his belt, shoving down his pants and boxers before tossing them aside. 

I eyed his cock with interest, licking my lips while he wrapped a loose fist around the base, moving his hand up and down while choking around a moan. Meanwhile, I spread my legs wider for him, watching the way his eyes glued themselves to my empty cunt. “Go ahead, Felix,” I said. “Show me what your cock can do.”

“I will,” he promised, looking at me with so much affection that it was almost suffocating. But in the next moment, he was moving himself closer, inserting just the tip as he fought to contain his emotions.

“Why are you holding yourself back?” I asked him with a frown. “Show me how these hips move,” I added while squeezing at his thin waist.

Felix nodded with a quiet groan, throwing back his head to reveal an expanse of beautiful, tanned skin. It was an ethereal appearance, and I could spend the rest of my days studying the shape of him. He was an elegant man with delicate features and a lithe figure that betrayed the impressive strength and resolve of his character - his desire to please the ones he respected the most. 

“Y/N,” Felix said, brushing our lips together in a light kiss. His arms were shaking with the effort of holding himself up over me, releasing low grunts whenever he pressed himself inside. I melted at his ministrations - watching the sweat as it trickled down the sides of his temples, shimmering in contrast to his skin. Because this close, I could see every pore and defining feature - fighting to keep my eyes open to enjoy the delightful vision of his focused expression while his hips rolled in long, sensual patterns. Brushing my clit and filling my tight walls with his thick erection. Pulsating to the beat of his movements, and grazing my g-spot when he angled himself just right - using my thighs as leverage to keep us both as close as possible.

I hummed in delight when one of his hands came up to caress the side of my face - a light touch that contrasted to the quick motions of his deep thrusts. Penetrating my cunt with the same kind of desperation that Felix always seemed to reserve for these intimate moments together - like he wanted to prove a point to me. It wasn’t obvious, whatever it was, but the mystery of Felix was part of the reason why he appealed so much to me. 

“I’m close,” I warned him because I could tell that he was straining to hold back his own orgasm. He was a selfless lover, always ensuring that my pleasure was obtained before he could even consider the possibility of his own release.

In return, his fingers teased my clitoris, and there was a proud smirk on his face as if he was enjoying the quick manner in which he had broken me down. “Come for me,” he said, but it was less of a command and more of a courteous request, and I finally let go of all my accumulating stresses, arching my back against the sudden pressure in my lower back - a tight knot that was slowly becoming undone around me.

And in the afterglow of my orgasm, I listened to Felix’s pretty sounds until something warm started to leak out of the place where he pulled out - leaving behind a mess that we would both ignore. Instead, he collapsed next to me on his back, breathing heavy while he turned around to face me. “Was that good for you?”

I grinned at his neediness, but I nodded my head because I knew that he considered his performances inside the bedroom just as important as the advice he gave outside of our personal affairs. “Of course it was,” I said, pecking his lips. “You’re always so perfect for me, Felix.”

His accompanying smile was brighter than sunshine, and I closed my eyes to the sound of a distant roar outside of our fortress.

It was a triumphant sound because it meant that my dragons had returned.

The stars were beginning to fade at the steady emergence of the sun, and I was walking across the bridge outside of the fortress to approach the sleeping forms of my dragons. They had arrived sometime the previous evening - making their anticipated return after journeying far away at my direction. I always worried about them when they were gone, but they had an uncanny ability to return to me even after weeks passed with no sign of their massive bodies creating brilliant shadows among the blue of the sky.

“There you are,” I remarked, smiling when Chan - my oldest and largest dragon - perked up at the sound of my voice. His scales bristled around a heavy yawn, reflecting a liquid black under the sunlight. “Chan,” I said, watching as he turned his giant head in my direction. “I missed you.” He grunted in return, attracting the attention of Changbin and Jisung who both startled awake at the sound of their older brother’s interruption. 

In comparison to Chan, Changbin was the second oldest, and his blue coloring reminded me of the ocean. Then, there was Jisung who might be the smallest of his brothers, but his scales reflected a sharp silver color that made him appear constantly alert. Still, I laughed at their expressions, wondering how anyone could ever be cruel to these magnificent animals when they expressed themselves so completely with a subtle blinking of their eyes or a single noise to demonstrate their opinion. 

But I carefully navigated around their powerful forms, pausing when I noticed the evidence of their last mission. “I’m very proud of you,” I said, running a hand along Chan’s spine as the eldest dragon purred at my praise. “Let’s have a proper reunion,” I suggested, taking several steps back so that they could dismiss the remnants of their slumber.

Meanwhile, I noticed the approach of Felix from my peripheral, and he looked unbelievably beautiful under the lingering effects of the dawning morning. “My queen,” he greeted me, pausing as he studied the three Dragons stretching their wings. “They’ve returned.”

“Yes,” I agreed, holding out one hand to gently caress the side of Chan’s muzzle. He gurgled in response before affectionately returning my gesture. “I think they made their point.”

I pointed to the side where the skeletal remains of the assassin waited on the cold, unforgiving ground. It was the third one this month, and I had grown tired of living in fear of them. But I also understood that it was a good thing - it meant that the Queen across the sea was afraid of me.

“I’m surprised they brought back anything,” Felix remarked, and he was suddenly next to my side.

“Well, I’m sure they wanted to show me that they did a good job,” I said, grinning when Changbin started nipping at Jisung’s wings. “Play nice, boys.”

Changbin turned to me in an instant, releasing a whining sound as if to show me his displeasure. “They obey you remarkably well,” Felix said. “After all, at their core, we’re talking about wild animals.”

“Oh, but they have good hearts,” I said, smiling when Jisung sniffled at my outstretched hand and I allowed myself to give him several pats on the neck. “Did you have something to tell me?”

Felix sighed as if he was burdened by the information he wished to share with me. “Y/N, we don’t have enough ships to cross the narrow sea, and our armies are growing bored with waiting around the city.”

“Hmmm,” I acknowledged him. “What do you suggest?”

“We could attempt to approach the iron bank,” Felix said. “They could give us the gold to build our own ships.”

“I suppose,” I agreed. “That might take more time than I’m willing to give” 

“Well, we can always negotiate with the lords in the next city,” Felix suggested. “Perhaps we can offer them some of our overstocked resources. And I’m sure they’ll never say no to someone who rides on the backs of Dragons.”

“If that’s what you think will work,” I said, turning to look at him before placing a delicate kiss on his lips. “I trust your logic.”

Felix smiled, clearly pleased by my show of adoration. “Shall I find someone with a disposable navy?”

“Thank you, Felix,” I said, reaching into my pocket for a small treat, holding it out for Jisung who happily lapped it up with clear delight. “I think I’ll pay a visit to the iron bank tomorrow. We can try to convince them that investing their resources into our army will be of the utmost importance.”

“I’ll make the arrangements myself,” Felix said before offering me a polite nod of his head. “Will you spend more time with them?”

I grinned. “I have another mission for my Dragons, but I’ll join you inside before noon.”

Felix gave a noise of acknowledgment before I watched him disappear into our carefully guarded fortress.

Braavos was an intimidating city, and there were richly-clad men and women walking along the main roads touting their impressive assets and keeping themselves surrounded by the best that money could afford. I sneered at their ostentatious displays, choosing to travel with a few willing soldiers and Felix without all the ornament. The entire city was a complicated maze but the Iron Bank was, perhaps, the most impressive institution, and I studied the outline of the cathedral as it towered over our surroundings.

Felix managed to arrange a meeting with the most influential bankers, and I was rehearsing what I planned to say to those men in order to convince them that it was in their best interests to support my cause. The Iron Bank was notorious in its reputation, and the men who financed the institution didn’t just hand out loans to anyone unless it was certain they could be repayed. The expectation was pressuring, but perhaps this would be an objective opportunity for me to truly discern what everyone else thought about my cause and whether or not they believed in my success.

Yet, I was still unprepared for the apparent signs of hostility: “What is your business here?” 

I blinked once at the aggressive question, tilting my head at the sole guardian who stood at the doors to the Iron Bank. “My name is Y/N,” I said. “Perhaps this can answer your inquiry.”

The guardian waited for another moment before bowing low at the waist. “Wait here,” he instructed me before disappearing inside the building.

I scoffed and turned to the side to glance at Felix. “Are they always this hostile?”

“They’re unkind to outsiders,” Felix answered, and I pondered over his words even after the guardian returned to lead us into a massive room where three men sat before us on golden thrones.

My first impression was rather hackneyed because the men were all older, clearly aged and experienced, and they wore matching haughty expressions of contempt. In the past, I might’ve felt intimidated by such a reception, but I wasn’t a scared little girl anymore. “Y/N,” one of the men spoke up over the others. “Welcome to the Iron Bank.”

“It’s just as impressive as I’ve heard through rumors,” I remarked, allowing my eyes to peruse the surrounding decor - noting the domed ceiling and pristine floors. “I can feel its history.”

“Is that so?” he asked. “Well, we’re honored to meet with someone who has caused quite a stir in our free city.”

“My reputations precedes me,” I said. “I’m very grateful.”

“We’re also quite curious,” a second man said. “What can we do for you?”

“Of course,” I acknowledged. “As my advisor has likely revealed to you, I’m in need of funding for a fleet of ships to carry myself and my army across the narrow sea.”

“How unexpected,” the second man remarked. “The last time somebody challenged for the throne, they couldn’t even make it to the walls of King’s Landing before they were obliterated.”

I shivered at his casual tone. “I have something different.”

“Yes,” the second man agreed. “But differences aren’t necessarily equal to guaranteed success.”

“Regardless,” I countered, “I see this is as a mutual opportunity. When I conquer Westeros, I will repay my debt and more.”

“Such grand promises,” the second man said. “But why should we believe you?”

“I’ve already conquered most of Essos,” I said. “Men have cowered in my presence, and the ones who tried to cross me have paid the ultimate price.” I grinned while chancing another step closer to the bankers. “This is an advantage for the Iron Bank. You’ll already have access to the next ruler of the Seven Kingdoms.”

“Yes, but we still don’t see it as an investment that will benefit the bank,” the first man said. “I’d consider your proposal a dangerous liability.”

“Because you don’t believe in my cause,” I said. “How foolish.”

“The current regime has reigned for decades,” the man said. “There’s a reason for its continued success, and that perseverance overshadows a grassroots rebellion.”

I huffed at his assessment. “What fails to convince you? The army serving me with a thousand men? My reputation across Essos? The three Dragons who fight at my side?”

“Even if you are successful,” the first man interrupted. “There’s no guarantee that you’d pay back the debt you will accrue.”  

“My word is not enough?”

“Words can be deceiving,” he replied. “Actions are objective. They speak much louder.”

“Very well,” I said, resigning myself to failure. “But I will always remember your faithlessness.”

“Threats don’t intimidate us, Y/N,” the first man cautioned. “You’d be wise to remember this because you may need us again in the future.”

“We’ll see about that,” I said, and I turned my back on the Iron Bank because I would need to search for alternative means if I wanted to cross the narrow sea.

It was late when I finished my meetings with the people of Braavos, listening to their concerns and addressing grievances. It was tiring work, especially when I encountered situations where there wasn’t such a thing as an easy solution. I was exhausted, but there was nothing better to resolve my overflowing tension than arriving back in my room to find a naked Felix arranging a bath.

“Were you waiting for me?” I asked him, allowing my hand to skim across the skin stretching around his jutting hip bone before walking out onto the balcony outside.

It was bitterly cold, and I supported my chin against my upturned palm as my arm rested against the balcony - quietly observing my Dragons sleeping around the shelter of the forest. “You’re thinking hard,” Felix said, shameless as he walked out to stand next to me. 

“I knew there were other options,” I said. “But today was the first time someone has dared to reject me.”

“I see.” Felix nodded, allowing strands of his silver hair to ruffle in the breeze. “I wouldn’t take offense to a bunch of old assholes who have nothing better to do with their lives than play with people like we’re puppets.”

“But isn’t the point of becoming queen to control those strings?” I asked him. “Otherwise, how will I lead the Kingdoms?”

“By being yourself,” Felix said, drawing my attention by using a finger underneath my chin to direct my head. “I believe in you, Y/N. You’ll do great things for the Kingdoms. Nobody will ever doubt you again.”

“But it still stings,” I said, lowering my gaze to his flaccid cock. “I suppose you had other plans for tonight besides consoling your queen.”

“I wanted to please you,” Felix said. “As always.”

“Well,” I said, trailing my fingers sensually down the bare skin of his chest. “Show me what you had planned.”

“It’s nothing extravagant,” Felix said, taking my hand before leading me back inside. “Take off your clothes.”

“Are you giving out the orders tonight?” I asked, although I was already undoing the intricate lacing holding my gown together.

“If you’ll allow me,” Felix said, and I watched him lower his body into the steaming bath water, groaning in delight at the sensation.

 “I’m always grateful,” I told him, removing my gown while pretending like I wasn’t glad to feel his eyes on me the entire time. I joined him with a sigh of content, falling back into his embrace as we both silently enjoyed the water and one another’s company. 

“Can I wash you?” Felix asked, and I nodded before laving a kiss across his jutting collarbone.

In the meantime, Felix reached for the soap and started to slide the bar across my skin, rubbing it between his hands to create extra suds. “What shall we do about the ships?” I asked around a moan, feeling him squeeze my breasts. 

“Leave that to me,” Felix replied, rubbing his thumbs in sensual circles around my nipples. 

“You know that I trust you with my life,” I said, and I could feel his cock growing erect against my lower back. “Who can we approach?”

“I have someone in mind,” Felix murmured softly, and he was unceasing in the gentle kisses that he was leaving across my shoulders.

His name was Lord Park, and there were rumors that his wealth surpassed even that of the Iron Bank. 

“He’s our man,” Felix assured me as we stood outside of his lavish estate - waiting for someone to greet us at the front door.

“It seems like this gentleman has more money than he knows what to do with,” I remarked.

“He also has ships,” Felix said, trailing his fingers across the back of my hand. “If he agrees to help us, then we’ll be ready to sail before our deadline.”

“Good,” I said, smiling when I sought Felix from my peripheral vision. “You’ve done well.” 

Felix beamed at the compliment while the gates of the estate abruptly opened, and an older man with graying hair and a thick beard stepped out to greet us. “My distinguished guests,” he said. “Lord Park is expecting you in the great room.”

“The honor is ours,” I replied with a bow - nodding at the soldiers I had brought with me as we stepped onto the impressive grounds.

My first impression was quite unforgettable - admiring the enormous columns and the elegant statues lining the path leading to the main entrance of a notable mansion. The doors of which were wide open, revealing a foyer with broad walls and an overarching ceiling that stretched to the heavens above. ”The mansion was constructed in the early ages,” our guide explained. “My esteemed patron had the chandelier installed himself.”

“How interesting,” I remarked, exchanging a quick glance with Felix.

“You may enter at your own convenience,” the guide said, pausing outside of a set of double doors. “Lord Park only asks that you leave your men here with me.”

I hesitated at the request, but Felix squeezed my hand in reassurance, and I took a deep breath before reaching out for the door handle. The room that I had entered reminded me of an office: bookshelves lining the walls with ancient texts, and an enormous table occupying the center of the room. “Close the door behind you,” an unfamiliar man said, and he stood next to the large window overlooking the grounds.

“Of course,” I agreed, and I followed his orders before walking in the direction of the table. “The pleasure is mine, Lord Park.”

The older man chuckled, and he turned around to reveal himself to me - fairly young, but with signs of his aging in the light peppering of gray in his dark brown hair. His grayish-colored eyes were narrowed, and he looked me over like I was a piece of meant on display for him. “I’ve heard many things about you,” Lord Park said. “Have a seat.”

I nodded my head to show my thanks before pulling out one of the chairs - watching Lord Park choose a spot across from me. “Your estate is beautiful,” I told him, and he smiled as he reached for two glasses and a pitcher.

“This wine,” he said while pouring me a generous amount. “It was made from the freshest produce in my vineyards.”

I accepted the glass from him with a careful hand - bringing it to my lips to drink a tentative sip. “It’s very sweet,” I said.

“It reminds me of you,” Lord Park remarked as he drank from his own glass. “You see, the wine is deceiving. It’s taste is quite sweet, but it’s made from a very rare ingredient known for its hard interior.” He paused for a moment, meeting my gaze from across the table. “You appear that way to me as well, Y/N. Your overall impression is sweet and innocent - you must know this because you have such a delicate body. Yet, underneath that facade is someone who is capable of destroying her worst enemies.”

“Hmmm...” I trailed off with a sigh was I traced the top of my glass with one finger. “I quite like the sound of that, Lord Park.”

“You’re a very beautiful woman,” he continued, raising his glass to me before finishing the remainder of its contents. “I’ve been told that you have a pressing need for my resources.”

“Your ships in particular,” I agreed. “I’m willing to repay you, of course. If you agree to let me use those ships, then I’ll try to accommodate whatever you might need.”

“There’s not really much that I do need,” Lord Park said, and he waved his hand around as if indicating the general grandeur of his property.

“You could consider this as a potential partnership,” I said. “I have an army, and you have ships without crews.”

“Yes, but I expect something in return,” Lord Park said, and he was wearing a lascivious smile. “What do you think a single man like myself could need?”

I chose to ignore his implications. “I have Dragons, sir. That usually convinces most men.”

“Dragons that serve you,” Lord Park remarked. “What good will that do for me?”

“They follow my direction,” I agreed. “But I could command them to assist you in other ways. Perhaps if there’s someone you would wish to see...vanish?”

Lord Park chuckled. “I have no such enemies, Y/N. However, I do have a rather notable lack of a suitable heir. Perhaps you could help me with that.”

“I see,” I said, nodding my head while tasting the wine once again - faintly recognizing the bitter taste under all of the embellishment.

“Of course, marriage is my price for complete access to my ships,” Lord Park said. “I hope that is no problem for you.”

“No problem at all,” I said, even though my stomach churned uncomfortably at the mere idea.

“Then it’s settled,” Lord Park said. “I’ll have your hand, and you can use my ships for your command.”

I forced myself to smile, even though I couldn’t help but feel trapped by the prospect. Still, I had to admit that it made sense considering his circumstances, and I desperately needed his ships. It was a fair trade on the surface, but deep down inside, I couldn’t help but feel cheated.

Despite the fact that I had tried to withhold my bargain from Felix, I knew that he would eventually corner me and demand the results. Thus, it wasn’t very surprising to see him storm into my bedroom that evening - eyes reminding me of a dangerous storm over the ocean. I trembled from where I sat in front of my mirror, gliding a comb through my hair as I greeted him with brusque tone. 

“My queen,” Felix said, but the sentiment lacked his usual affection. “Don’t you think it’s unfair to keep me in the dark?”

“What are you referring to, Felix?” 

He scoffed at my obvious evasion. “Lord Park ordered his hand to make arrangements with me for his ships, but I’m no fool, Y/N. What did he ask for in return?”

I carefully lowered my comb, looking down at my hands folded in my lap as I mustered enough confidence to reveal the truth. “I may have to marry myself to that Lord,” I said, and I glanced up in time to notice the hurt flash across his expression. “Oh, Felix, don’t be like that. You probably knew this from the very start. It was your idea. You told me that we needed to negotiate for new ships.”

“My idea?” Felix repeated. “Y/N, at such a high price, I would’ve sought alternative sources.”

“But I can’t take that risk,” I said. “Someone else might want something even more onerous, and this is a worthy sacrifice for our cause.”

“But I hate it,” Felix said, and there was a raw emotion that exposed his very soul. 

“That’s a very dangerous thing for you to say,” I told him. “We both knew that those ships would cost us more than we might be willing to give.”

“Yes, but to bind yourself to him forever!” Felix decried, and I was so very upset to see his eyes gloss over. “Y/N, I’ve given you advice,” Felix whispered. “I helped negotiate for your armies! We raised your Dragons together!”

“Oh, Felix.” I sighed. “It disappoints me to hear you speak this way. I warned you at the very start of our affair that you should keep your feelings guarded.”

“Well, I couldn’t help it,” Felix snapped. “I love you, Y/N, and I won’t see you marry another man.”

“Then you won’t see me at all,” I rebuffed, steeling my gaze. 

I knew that the threat was harsh, and Felix was obviously taken aback. “You don’t mean that,” he said, but I also detected a slight hint of uncertainty.

“Perhaps you underestimate my resolve,” I said. “Those ships mean everything to me, and they’re certainly worth more than your cock.”

My heart twisted painfully at the lie, but I was convinced that marrying Lord Park was the only way to earn my crown. And I couldn’t have Felix standing in the way because of his affections for me - no matter how I might feel about him in return. This was the cold reality of a true ruler, and I would have to get used to making these sacrifices for the betterment of my people. 

“Do you really think of our arrangement as nothing more than a means to satisfy your own urges?” Felix questioned. “How can I believe that, after all this time, you only used me because I was able to fill your greedy little cunt?”

“I thought it was mutual,” I said. “Feelings are too complicated, Felix. Can’t you see how they’re breaking us down?”

“Because you’re allowing our relationship to amount to nothing more than fucking,” Felix countered. “I know that you don’t mean these things, Y/N. But I’m furious that you would lie to me for the sake of a potential marriage to Lord Park of all men. I’ll always stand by your side, even after everything you’ve said tonight, but you should be careful who you allow in such close intimacy.”

“I’ll consider your advice as always,” I said, and I returned my gaze back to the mirror just in time to see the reflection of Felix’s retreating figure.

The next evening, I wasn’t surprised to receive an invitation to dine with Lord Park at his estate. Apparently, he desired to understand his future wife and her aspirations, which brought me to my present situation: walking next to a stoically unmoved Felix as we greeted two servants at the entrance to the dining room. The man in question was already inside, and he walked around the table to greet me with a formal kiss to the top of my hand. “Our future queen,” he said with a sultry tone. “You look ravishing.”

“Thank you, kind sir,” I said, ignoring the way Felix glared at our touching hands.

“Please have a seat,” he said, gesturing to the place right next to the head of the table. “Felix, you can occupy the chair next to mine.”

“How gracious,” Felix muttered, but our host was generous enough to forgive Felix’s dismissive tone. 

“Let’s begin,” Lord Park announced, and we all situated ourselves around the table as several servants entered the room with delicious-smelling platters and dishes full of delectable offerings. “I’ve prepared the best,” Lord Park said. “Help yourselves.”

I smiled in his direction before perusing the vast selections. “It all looks amazing.”

“Thank you,” Lord Park said before briefly glancing in Felix’s direction. “Felix, my dearest boy, you are more than welcome to your share.”

I shot a glare in Felix’s direction because he refused to accept any of Lord Park’s hospitality. “I’m not hungry,” he grumbled.

“Not hungry!” Lord Park exclaimed. “I shall be offended if you sit there while the rest of us enjoy ourselves.”

“Felix,” I snapped - growing more and more irritated since he refused to look at me. “Don’t behave this way.”

“I’m not hungry!” Felix insisted with a far more aggressive tone.

“My word,” Lord Park said. “Will you let him get away with this?”

“It’s been a long week,” I tried to explain. “Felix has been stressed from making arrangements with our armies.”

“It’s still unacceptable behavior from someone in his position,” Lord Park remarked, and Felix’s hand tightened around his fork.

“He’ll improve,” I said, but I knew that Felix’s infamous fits of passionate rage could last for weeks at a time. “Please, Lord Park, tell us more about your daily affairs.”

“I would be glad to lead the conversation,” Lord Park said, and he started launching himself into a retelling of his dealings with a rather mischievous servant who had returned to work that day after nearly a week of constant absences. “Who does he think he is?” Lord Park scoffed. “Of course, I immediately sent him home without pay. We can’t have such actions go unpunished. It sets a bad example for the others.”

“Perhaps he has a good reason for staying away,” I said.

“Oh, he was going on about his wife,” Lord Park said with a roll of his eyes. “But it’s not of my concern. After all, I must keep this place in good condition for my future wife. I’ve been busy renovating a private shelter just for your dragons.”

“Oh, how fascinating,” I lied, dropping my hand on top of his and ignoring the way Felix flinched from the corner of my eye.

“Tell me about the beasts,” he requested. “Are they well-trained?”

“Of course,” I said. “They are quite obedient.”

“It’s just remarkable to me,” Lord Park continued. “They’re such a rare species. How did you find three perfectly good dragon eggs?”

I hesitated at his question, and my eyes met Felix’s for the first time that evening. Because my precious dragons had been a gift from Felix - back when I was still very young and afraid of the world. My aspirations seemed far too ambitious at the time, and I lamented to Felix that I had nothing to support my claim to the throne other than an unverifiable family tree. I told him that I wanted something to make me look powerful, and he had spent days following nothing more than a whispered rumor - until he found what he was looking for in the three dragon eggs hidden away in the mountains. When he brought them to me that night, we made love for the very first time - both young and inexperienced virgins - while the eggs sat next to the fireplace all night long.

But the next morning, the egg shells were in pieces, and three very tiny dragon hatch-lings greeted me with innocent eyes and adorable features.

“It’s a long story,” I told Lord Park before clearing my throat. “Please excuse me for a moment.”

“Take your time,” Lord Park said, but he was clearly at ease while drinking his second glass of wine.

I bowed my head in gratitude before rushing out of the dining room - entering the next chamber where a small window allowed me a discreet view of Lord Park. I could feel my stomach churn while looking at the horrible man - and I desperately wanted to blame the wine but I recognized the bitter sensation of guilt as it sunk against my chest. 

“Do you remember when I fucked you for the very first time?”

I turned around with a start at the unexpected sound of Felix’s voice - spotting him standing at the entrance to the room. “Felix,” I whispered, feeling my heart flutter against my sternum.

“You became my entire world, Y/N,” Felix said, approaching me with measured steps as I forced myself to meet his impenetrable gaze. “I feel like I’ve loved you for my whole life, and I know that I’m the only man who could ever make you truly happy.”

“Felix,” I repeated, but my confidence was in shambles, and there were tears falling in streaks because I was horrified by the idea of marrying Lord Park and losing Felix’s touch forever.

“Tell me again, Y/N,” Felix said, and he was so close that I could see the way his chest heaved with every deep breath. “If you can find the nerve to lie to me like the rat sitting in the next room, then please refuse my heart and end my misery.”

I sniffled because I was close to hysteria as I shook my head, reaching out to wrap my arms around Felix’s neck. “I love you,” I told him. “I don’t know what I would do without your presence by my side.”

“Then we’re the same,” Felix said, and I gasped when he unwound my arms and spun me around - shoving me up against the counter. “Do you think your war is worth that cruel bastard?” Felix asked, and his fingers kept a harsh grip in my hair as he forced my head back against his shoulder - whispers low and seductive in my ear. “Perhaps it might seem like it to you, but you’ll be miserable with him. And do you know why?”

“No,” I said in return. “I don’t know.”

I guess my response wasn’t enough. Because it was like my words had triggered something primal, and I was left at the mercy of Felix as he jerked my hips back away from the counter - only to bend me over as he quickly reached down to bundle the hem of my gown between one hand. And I shivered when nothing but cold air touched my most intimate place - shaking like a leaf when he tugged my panties down my legs. 

“What did those stupid assholes at the Iron Bank tell you?” Felix snarled, spreading my legs and resuming his place in the empty space - pressing the front of his erection against my heat. “Actions speak louder than words, isn’t that right?”

“Yes!” I cried because it was hard to keep myself together in the presence of this unfiltered Felix - listening to the sounds of his zipper as he tugged down his pants. His cock was warm and rigid when he used his free hand to guide the tip along my folds, moving himself up and down but never penetrating inside.

“What would those people think if they saw their queen begging for my cock?” Felix asked. “Would Lord Park think less of you if he knew that your adviser could take you whenever he pleased?”

I moaned at the rhetorical question - knowing that Lord Park was just on the other side of the glass. It fed my growing arousal, and my mouth opened around a scream when Felix started to push his cock into my sensitive pussy. “Oh!” I cried - a broken sound that only continued to increase in volume as Felix pushed down against my lower back and started pounding his cock between my tight walls.

“I’ll treat you like a slut,” Felix said. “If that’s what you really think of our relationship.”

“Nothing I said was true!” I whimpered. “I love you, Felix.”

“Yeah?” Felix purred, and it was a complete contradiction to his earlier tone. “Will you finally admit your feelings for me, Y/N? Only after I’m forced to make an example of this little cunt.”

“Please, Felix,” I said, sobbing against my forearms as both of his hands moved down to grab my waist - using it as leverage to force his cock as deep as possible. 

“Look at him while I’m fucking you,” Felix growled, holding even tighter to my waist as he fucked me like it might be the last time he would ever have the honor and privilege. “You think he could ever be this good for you?”

“Nobody can ever match you, Felix,” I told him earnestly while trying to support myself against the counter.

“This pussy belongs to me,” Felix said, snapping his hips as if trying to make a point. “It can only be satisfied by my cock.”

“You’re right,” I whined, looking up through the window where Lord Park remained seated at the table - calmly attending to his own business without any idea that the woman he was trying to seduce was getting fucked in the next room.

“You might marry that bastard,” Felix continued, anchoring my thigh around his waist to find an even better angle - hitting my g-spot with every upstroke. “But you won’t share his bed, do you understand? That privilege will remain with me!”

“Felix,” I whispered, closing my eyes when I felt my orgasm approaching - the familiar heat burning inside of me. Hotter than any dragon fire.

“My queen,” Felix said. “Say my name, Y/N. Let him hear how good my cock makes you feel.”

“Shit, Felix,” I moaned, even though I had no idea what I was actually begging him to do for me. But I knew that Felix would always do his best to give me whatever I wanted. 

“Come for me,” Felix grunted, pounding his hips into mine as he knocked my waist against the edge of the table. “I can tell that you’re close.”

But it was still the first time that I had ever come on command, and I screamed his name when I fell apart around his pulsating erection, feeling him continue to move inside of me until he was satisfied as well - cum dripping down my thighs. 

“Remember this moment,” Felix said. “Because I know you aren’t attracted to him, and I know that you aren’t serious about an engagement.”

“I’m not,” I said, leaning back into his weight as he brought us to the floor, allowing my dress to fall into place as he held me tightly in his arms. “Nobody could ever replace you, Felix.” 

“Because you’re mine,” Felix purred, and he was more pliant after being sated, sharing his deepest feelings as we resigned ourselves to the undeniable love that had followed us ever since our very first meeting on a warm, spring afternoon. 

It was such a beautiful recollection, and I found myself crying in Felix’s arms as he shushed me quietly. “I don’t want to marry him,” I said. “But what else can I do?”

“I know, my love,” Felix said, and he was so gentle as he carded his fingers through my hair - knotted from his rough touches earlier. “It pains me to see you like this, but I might have a way to prevent your suffering.”

“It’s never easy,” I said, and Felix smiled when he wiped away my tears. “I can’t turn down his ships.”

“Then marry him, Y/N,” he said, ignoring the way that I shivered. “I’ll handle the rest.”

I swallowed hard at his ominous promise. “What will you do to him?”

“It won’t involve your hand,” Felix said. “Leave it to me, my sweet queen. I’ll make sure that your heart never hurts this way again.”

I lifted my head to meet his familiar gaze, and I saw the determination right in front of me. It was reassuring, and I carefully nodded because I would always trust Felix with my life.

One Month Later

I would always recall the winter’s morning when I set sail across the narrow sea to meet my destiny in King’s Landing.

Our enormous fleet of ships proved to be an imposing force as we started sailing across the waters - leaving behind Essos with my armies attending to their duties. The departure of our forces marked an entire month since I had married Lord Park in a private ceremony in view of the officials and his close friends and family. He had whispered to me during our first dance together - talking about how he was going to put a child inside me. 

Yet, that very same night, he could only penetrate the tip of his disgusting cock before a familiar hand was slicing across his throat - using a knife made of Valyrian steel to end Lord Park’s life. I remembered that there had been so much blood - draining from the terrible man in rivulets of crimson until he collapsed next to me face-down into the mattress. He continued to convulse as he struggled while Felix knelt in his place - wiping the blood from his skin and looking down at me with a desperate hunger. 

The news of Lord Park’s death traveled quickly, and I played the part of a distraught housewife who described the masked assassin who had snuck into our room and killed my poor husband. There was nobody to doubt me, especially when I called my dragons to the official hearing, and their intimidating presence was enough to cement my lie. And since all of Lord Park’s estate belonged to me, I could still claim his ships and wealth - using everything to catalyze my impending journey across the narrow sea. 

I was the ruthless queen who had survived death itself, and my reputation was even more formidable than it was before. There was nothing left to stop me, and I breathed in the scent of the ocean as I leaned against the banister of the impressive warship. From next to me, Felix stood tall with his long, silver hair billowing in the breeze.

“We’ll be there before sunrise,” I said, closing my eyes as I envisioned my arrival.

“Its yours for the taking, my queen,” Felix replied, and I trembled when his fingers followed the path of my spine. 

“Yes,” I agreed. “It’s all mine!” 

Felix smirked at my audacious declaration, and I held my head high as the land grew closer in the distance. Meanwhile, my dragons soared high above my ships and the army that would fight for their new queen and secure my rightful place on the Iron Throne.

[belle-keys]

I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉