#is that too much to ask. am i too demanding ;-

[submattenthusiast]

mess

summary - matt cumming on himself after being edged for so long

pairings - sub!matt x dom!reader

contents-smut, jerking off, mommy kink, one mention of pegging, cum, edging, crying, safeword mention (but not used) etc.

notes- based off this ask, not proofread, no plot.

“please, it hurts,” matt cried. it had been an hour of torturous edging, matt had an attitude earlier and you were sick of it, so you punished him the only way you knew how. 

hot tears streamed down matt’s face as he tried to gain your sympathy. his cheeks were red and his eyes were puffy, he had started crying around the second time his orgasm was denied. 

his cock was red and aching in your hands from the repeated blue balling. “poor poor thing” you cooed, tone laced with faux sympathy. he whined and pouted at your words, you didn’t care, you were enjoying this.

you continued your movements on his swollen cock, languidly moving your hand up and down his length. 

matt squirmed on the bed, thighs tensing everytime you gripped his cock. his mouth was in a permanent “O” shape, his voice gone from how many sounds he made.

“mommy m close– fuck please can i cum this time?” his voice cracked as he begged, he wasn’t sure how much more edging he could handle. “please please– i can’t” he sobbed, tears dropping down on his shirt.

you removed your hand swiftly, leaving him hanging once again. “no, no, please don’t stop” he complained, he was so ready this time. “i know i know, you can handle a couple more can’t you?” you urged him, wiping the tears stuck on his sticky cheeks. 

“yes please just want to cum for you mama ” he croaked out, leaning into your touch. matt regained his breath before speaking again, “can handle it just please let me cum soon please, hurts” he motioned to his cock as he finished speaking.

“good boy, gonna make a mess for mommy?” you murmured, hand gripping his base once again. “yes–ah yes i am” he winced, cock overly sensitive.

you loosened your grip on his base and moved your hand on his cock, rubbing up and down. precum dribbled down his cock, making it easier for your hand to move. he hissed at the feeling of your spit mixed with his precum.

you leaned down to kiss his tip before licking off all the precum that stuck to him. his breath hitched at the sensation of your hand and mouth. you placed your tongue back in your mouth,returning to your original position next to him. 

matt’s bottom half was fully nude, leaving him in a plain black tee. the material was becoming uncomfortable, sweat causing the shirt to stick to him awkwardly. “can i take this off please?” he begged, tugging at his shirt. “keep it on, you're gonna cum on your shirt” you demanded.

“s-so i can cum this time” he questions, eyes lighting up at the thought. you chuckled at his desperateness “nice try”. “how much longer then mama” he frowned, tears threatening to fall once again.

“you wanted this, remember?” you question, “yes ma’am i’m sorry” he mumbled, “so take it”. he groaned at your harsh tone, he loved when you got stern like this. you resumed your movements on his cock now that his previous build up had faded away. he jolted up as you placed both hands around his lengthy cock. matt held back an embarrassly high pitched whine,your hands felt too good.

you looked up at him and your brows furrowed, you saw he was holding out on you. you wanted to hear him, you didn’t care if he was close to cumming again, you were doing this to make him feel good. “don’t hold back sweetheart, i want to hear you” you comforted, knowing he was insecure about being vocal in bed.

matt unsealed his lips per your request, “o-oh okay”. his lips were beginning to feel numb from how hard he was biting down on them. “good boy” you complimented, he nodded and smiled shyly. 

“say it, say you’re a good boy” you sharply spoke, stopping your hand once again. he weeped at the loss of contact “ah– i’m a good boy, your good boy please”. your nipples hardened through your shirt at his obedience. 

“please touch me again mommy,” matt begged, missing your hands already. you nodded before wrapping your hands around him, his cock was covered in your saliva from the teasing earlier. he winced,he was beginning to feel overstimulated, he thought of using his safeword but he couldn’t use it before cumming,but he knew he couldn’t handle anymore edging.

your hand began to ache from the repeated actions to his cock and matt had been so good for you, you were finally giving in. he could finally cum this time. you continued to jerk him off, speeding up your pace, eager to push him over the edge.

“fuck– close close close” he moaned, hips starting to stutter. piercing moans and whimpers fell out his mouth. “mommy cum, n-need to ah–” he sniffled. you palmed his tip before going back down to his base. “go ahead baby” you voiced, lazily stroking him now. 

“thank you thank you” matt repeated. his body convulsed as he came, thighs clenched,as his

cock spilled out loads of cum onto your hand and covering his shirt. you squeezed him while finishing him off, making sure every last drop came out of him.

his breathing got heavy as he rode out his high. matts brown hair was a mess and he was sticky with sweat and cum. you still thought he looked so pretty fucked out. his blue eyes fluttered shut as he relaxed into the pillows under him.

you let his cock go as he was no longer hard, and overly sensitive,It fell limp against his thigh. “you alright matt?” you poked, he was oddly silent. “worn out” he uttered. you smiled before cuddling him next to him.

“if me jerking you off wears you out like this, how are you gonna last when i’m fucking you” you laughed, his eyes went wide, looking down at you to confirm he heard you right. “guess i’ll have to practice’’

a/n - rushed this bad but ty for reading.

taglist; @mattybsgroupie @frnkocnlvr @fratboychrisera @issysh3ll @zariyam @bellassturniolo @thepubeburgler @gwennybenny @matts-myloverboy @luvs4matt @floralsturniolo @karttpet @sturniolo-fann @benardsgfs @cuntendipity @heartsforvin

[pomefioredove]

housewardens + Jamil and Floyd with a reader that plays volleyball please

I think of reader as yuu, but it's not needed to be specified, and NRC doesn't really have volleyball as one of the sports that I know of. so whether it's not a thing in their world or just not at their school, I think it'd be cool to see how the characters react to the reader playing during gym, free time, or for some outside of school club or whatever. it'd be amazing if reader could be a libero, because that's my position, but it doesn't have to be specified

but like, js imagine reader is yuu and so they taught one of the students how to play bc it's not at NRC amd now they play literally whenever they can

I don't know anything about volleyball but I tried 🫡🫡

*ੈ��‧₊˚ volleyball player reader

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jamil, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

am I crazy to think that Riddle would be into it? seeing as he's somewhat of an athlete himself (equestrian club), he knows the sort of discipline and dedication it takes to truly master a sport

he'll offer to help you organize an ~official~ club, but you don't seem too bothered about it. he finds it endearing that you can wake up in an entirely different world, almost die every other month, and still have the motivation to pursue what you love, anyway

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

you'd better be careful around Leona, or you'll end up at morning Spelldrive practice in his place (hehe)

so, you don't have any magic. and? you know how to throw and catch, and that's good enough for him. hell, you're better than most of the magical first years. plus, you're motivated, you're responsible, and Leona Savanaclaw could use someone like you around

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

when Azul sent the tweels to dig up some dirt on you, he wasn't expecting this. like, okay, he underestimated you. he was hoping for something more... exploitable. if only he had a use for volleyball...

oh, well. you're still worth watching, currently useful or not. athletic skill is nothing to sneeze at, especially from a native land-dweller. he might need those legs of yours someday, you know

...wait, that came out wrong

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

no one really bothers looking for Floyd when he doesn't show up to basketball club. not because they don't care, but because it's not worth the time. if he really doesn't want to be found, you just won't find him

of course, the one day Jamil has to leave club early, he walks in on the two of you in the courtyard, playing volleyball

all this time, Floyd had been skipping club to watch you play another ball game just a few minutes away. he's absolutely captivated, too. like a cat with a laser pointer

as unamused as he is, Jamil knows it's absolutely useless to lecture him, so he just... sits and watches you play, too

and, well... he gets it. you're an interesting person, you know?

after that, he figures you may as well join the basketball club

...if only to give you a better place to practice, and to keep Floyd indoors

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

bro if you asked, Kalim would have an entire court built for you. actually, you wouldn't even have to ask. just one mention about how NRC has no volleyball club, and he'd have a team just for you by noon

if you refuse, he's still supportive. and really, really fascinated. he's not as much of an athlete as you or Jamil, which just makes it all the more impressive to him. he'll ask you to explain the game and your position over and over again, even while watching you play

he also just likes hearing your voice, so :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

if there's anything Vil can admire, it's dedication. another thing? passion. being an athlete, or, really, having any serious hobby, demands both of those things

here's the thing; he could already tell. he didn't have to stumble across you during practice (as if he would stumble at all smh). your form, the way you carry yourself, even parts of your personality were context enough

and while he may not say it, he holds a high opinion of you. you can legit get out of VDC training by just saying you're going to practice

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

you may think that Idia isn't going to go for the jock type, but, actually, one of his favorite animes is about volleyball and-

yeah, yeah. you get it. he's smitten

if he ever gets over his crushing fear of talking to you, you'll never get him to shut up. seriously. he already knows everything there is to know about the game, but that doesn't mean he's not going to ask you to explain everything all over again (he's totally fangirling over this). and sevens forbid you give him a demonstration...

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

there's probably not volleyball in Briar Valley. right. I just can't picture that. so the first time Malleus observes you in practice, he's amazed, fascinated even. and he has a lot of questions. good ones!

you could probably convince him to play with you, which would be, uh. interesting? actually he's weirdly an amazing player

you could get all of Diasomnia to form a team, somehow. like I know they'd be abnormally good at it

[tarotwithavi]

A life lesson I want to share with you

When I was a child, I often felt neglected. Both my mother and father were busy with their jobs and lives, and it felt like they didn’t have time for me. I always wanted their attention and love, but I didn’t know how to ask for it. The only time I felt appreciated by them was when I did something they could be proud of. If I won a competition, got the highest grades, or acted like the perfect "golden child," then they noticed me.

Because of this, I started to believe that in order to be loved by my parents, I had to be the best at everything. I pushed myself harder and harder, trying to meet these high standards. I thought that if I was the smartest, the most successful, and the perfect child, my parents would love me more. What I didn’t realize at the time was that I had created these expectations for myself. My parents never demanded I be the best, and they never told me I had to be perfect. But I convinced myself that I needed to.

Over time, I started to feel more and more pressure. I was so focused on being the best that I never stopped to think about how it was affecting me. I was always worried about failing or not being good enough. The need for recognition and appreciation from my parents was slowly eating me up inside. I didn’t feel free to just be myself; instead, I felt like I always had to perform.

But one day, I had a realization. I began to understand that my parents had always loved me just as I was. They didn’t love me more when I got good grades or won awards. Their love for me was unconditional. I realized that my parents weren’t working hard because they didn’t care about me; they were working hard because they loved me. They were trying to give me the life they never had. They wanted to provide me with opportunities and luxuries that they had never experienced growing up.

This realization changed the way I saw things. I finally understood that I didn’t need to be perfect to earn their love. My parents were doing everything for me because they loved me from the start, not because of my achievements. It wasn’t about what I could do; it was about who I was, their child.

Looking back, I learned a big lesson from this experience. Sometimes, we put too much pressure on ourselves, thinking we need to be perfect or the best to be loved or appreciated. But the truth is, real love doesn’t come from our successes or achievements. It comes from who we are. And most importantly, the people who truly love us ,like our parents ,will always love us for who we are, not for what we do.

Now, I try to remind myself that I don’t need to prove my worth to anyone. I don’t need to keep pushing myself to the point of stress and exhaustion. I can just be me, and that is enough. My parents love me, not for my grades or awards, but because I am their child. And that is a lesson I hope everyone can learn: You are worthy of love just as you are. You don’t have to earn it; you just have to accept it.

[cardboardheartss]

NEWJEANS Overall Reading

⚠️DISCLAIMER! TAROT CARDS ARE NOT 100% ACCURATE! TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! IF MY INTERPRETATIONS ARE INCORRECT FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!⚠️

*NWJNS current thoughts*

Minji : 7oC rx

In all honesty, from my cards, it seems as if Minji still wants to continue fighting. She is aware of the consequences that she’ll be facing but she honestly wants to fight. It seems like she will continue to demand change within the company, she only demands change for the sake of maintaining NWJNS creativity and image.

Hyein : 2oC rx

Hyein is completely tired. She wants to end her contract with HYBE, she is aware of the issues that HYBE and Fraudor will put her through and for her own sanity, she really wants to leave.

Haerin : 3oW rx, 9oP rx, The World

Haerin honestly wants a break! She is tired, and is literally on the brink of losing her mind atp. Haerin is also aware that HYBE will sabotage the girls careers on purpose, and she honestly does not want that for herself. She just wants to possibly go on a world tour and continue her career as NWJNS before April.

Hanni : AoW, 3oC rx

Poor Pham Pham, this situation has really made her question herself A LOT! She probably sits in her room and asks herself, “Why am I here?” “Why did I choose the fame life?” “Should I even continue being in NWJNS at this point?” Many thoughts surrounding her current situation as a member of NWJNS.

Danielle : Judgement rx, The Sun rx, 6oS, KoC rx, KNoP

The hate comments are hitting Dan Dan really hard, she has had the most difficult time. Since I watch NWJNS content, I can tell that she is honestly outraged and depressed too. Her whole vibe and personality has just become so closed off, it’s actually quite sad to witness. She really hates BSH too, many many negative thoughts about that man. Just views him as a money hungry coward tbh.

*thoughts on Jungkook’s support post*

Minji : QoC rx, WoF, KoS rx

“Oh no.”😤 She knew what was coming, the fans. She just knew that it will bring them more bad luck, because of the hate comments they’ll be receiving (which is happening as I type this). She’s thankful for the post, in a way but she knew that the fans will downplay this post and cause a ruckus.

Hyein : 3oC rx

She was worried about his fans turning against him. She is also worried about how the higher ups will react towards Jungkook after the post had been made.

Haerin : 5oW rx

She’s so glad someone with so much power finally stood up for her group. In the back of her mind, she’s probably thinking about how other groups could be envious about this moment that took place. Overall, she’s honestly really really grateful to have Jungkook on their side because she really thinks the group needed that one person to just shake things up a bit.

Hanni : 6oC

*do y’all know the “that’s a real black king right there🤪” sound from TikTok?*

Hanni in all honesty said, “that’s a real sunbaenim right there.🙂‍↕️” Wouldn’t be surprised if Hanni actually cried a bit after seeing that post and statement. She is soooo grateful, she honestly is so relieved to actually see someone with so much power and influence in the industry stand up for her group. She honestly is so grateful! My gut tells me that she probably saved that post as her Lock Screen or just looks at it every night for motivation.

Danielle : 8oW rx, Devil rx, The Empress

Initially, I don’t even think Dani was aware of the post. Poor Dani probably has her phone off or has deleted her social media for the sake of her peace. After she was aware of the post, she was quite taken aback because she doesn’t believe how Jungkook, actually had the guts to stand for NWJNS while being aware of the situation her group has with HYBE. She really respects him and applauds him for what he did.

*overall HYBE groups thoughts on this situation*

5oC rx, 2oP

Seems like these groups really be avoiding each other like a PLAGUE! These groups are completely and totally aware of the support NWJNS has, and I could say it kinda rubs them off the wrong way because they’re going through similar situations but they’re not getting the support from the rest of the industry and majority of the population of Korea (before y’all come for me, yes, support from this population matters the most, I’m sorry… I don’t make the rules!) It seems like they’ll try avoid thinking of this, and focus on support they receive from their own fandoms and promotions.

*will NWJNS stay in HYBE?*

5oP

No, the girls will eventually be leaving HYBE for good. In all honesty once again, these girls will have to leave this company for the sake of their own peace. They’re going to have many financial difficulties as they depart from this company but they’re going to have to either way.

*outcome of HYBE, once NWJNS leave*

AoP rx, The Lovers, 4oP, 10oS

lol. they’re going to be broker than ever! they will attempt to reconcile with their stock brokers or brands, to jump start their stock market value again, but it seems like all these businesses will stay clear from them to protect their own money because they’re aware, they’ll not be benefiting themselves with working with HYBE. HYBE will have to work really hard for positive public support again but it’s going to take a while.

*publics perception of NWJNS departure from HYBE*

6oW rx, Justice rx, Strength

the public will be divided ; Token/HYBE stans & Bunnies/K-Industry/Public & Rest of the public. The first group of people will be dissatisfied and angered by NWJNS leaving and claim that they’re ungrateful and stupid. The rest of the public will feel remorseful and encourage NEWJEANS to not give up but at the same time, should take a break!

OR!

the public will hate HYBE even more, and question their motives as a company overall. many people will not support HYBE any longer and believe they need their names tarnished as much as well. Would not be surprised if HYBE releases a media play article that day, in a celebratory manner about NWJNS departure but the public will remind them that they (HYBE) has not won in this situation, and will in fact be weak in terms of revenue.

*NWJNS careers once they depart from HYBE*

everybody say this with me : “NEWJEANS NEVER DIE!”📢

Pregnancy, Open Up Your Heart, Communicate, Manifest, Caution rx

*while shuffling the cards, the words NEWJEANS entertainment, came out my mouth lol! I would not be surprised if NWJNS establish their own company or they could possibly be moving to a different company, depending on their financial positions*

Anyways, the girls will come back better than ever! They will be expressing their gratitude to all the people who were on their side from the very beginning til the position they’ll be in once they’ve departed from HYBE. It seems as if the members 11:11 wishes will come true, and they’ll be a bit more stable and peaceful but it also seems like the girls will overwork themselves a bit too much because they want to prove to HYBE or the public that’s against them, that’s NWJNS as 5 shouldn’t be underestimated.

*individual messages from my cards for NWJNS members during this situation*

>this is so random lol but my gut is telling me to do this so I guess why not.🤷🏽‍♀️

Minji (Divorce) : my cards are telling her to consider canceling her contract with HYBE.

Hyein (Moving) : my cards are also telling her to consider canceling her contract with HYBE.

Haerin (Commitment rx) : my cards are also telling her to also just end her contract with HYBE.

Hanni (Health) : my cards are telling her to watch out for her physical and mental health! urgently so!💢

Danielle (Mercury Retrograde) : my cards are telling Ms Aries Mercury to hold herself back because people on social media will continue to attack her for what she says and supports.

That’s all for NWJNS today! The cards came out a bit better-ish than I had anticipated. I’m just relieved and touched to see how NWJNS will be okay after this situation. It will take some time for them to get back on their feet but they’re honestly going to kill it!

nwjns never die!🩷💛💚💜💙👏🏽

[harmlessplant]

Hey I really appreciate how much you guys like my art, so much so that you want to see me draw your favorite characters. I just want to say, I don’t mind taking suggestions, but I’m also not a content machine. If you want to nicely suggest something for me to draw that’s totally fine! But please don’t demand me to draw things, please don’t just tell me I have to draw something. I’ve gotten a couple of asks lately of people just telling me to draw things instead of asking, and it really makes me uncomfortable, like they’re just trying to put inputs into a machine to get the thing they want. I am a person too, and drawing is a hobby that I do for fun. Just a little psa to please be a little more considerate of others is all ✌️

[kikyoupdates]

Heartbreaker ⭑˚💔⭑ 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑢𝑒

bnha x f!reader

reverse harem, isekai, my hero academia x fem!reader, slowburn

You awaken one day with virtually no memories. The only thing guiding you is some strange system that likes to dictate your every move, and for some reason, it insists that you make certain people fall in love with you. Desperate for answers, you decide to go along with its demands. After all, how hard can it be?

story masterlist | next

When you opened your eyes, everything was dark.  

There was very little that you could feel, apart from your rhythmic breathing, faint as it was. It was eerily quiet too. You weren’t sure why exactly, but you got the sense that this wasn’t how things should be. It didn’t feel natural to be all alone, no sign of life as far as your eyes could see. You couldn’t move your body even after trying for a good while, so you eventually gave up and allowed yourself to settle into the silence.

As it turned out, total silence was loud in its own way. It made your ears buzz from the ever-present nothingness; made your brain feel like it might split in half. 

You didn’t know what in the hell was going on, but the longer this continued, the more likely it was that you would go insane.  

Then, as if by a miracle, the silence broke.  

["𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞."]

Someone was talking to you. Well, not really talking to you. It was strange. You couldn't hear a voice or anything like that. Instead, you could see the words pop up in front of your eyes, like some sort of weird projection. The projection made a slight ping as it popped up, but otherwise, no words were exchanged aloud.  

“Hello?” you called out fearfully. Ah. So, you could talk. Your voice wasn’t lost, thankfully. It was just that you couldn’t move your body forward. Not that you’d even know where to go. Everything was pitch-black.  

["𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨. 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠?”]

“Scared,” you admitted, swallowing hard. “I don’t know what’s going on. And I don’t... I don’t remember. Anything. I don’t remember a single thing.”

[“𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 [𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞] [𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞]. 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞.”]

[Name]. Alright. You had a name too, and when you mumbled aloud just to familiarize yourself with the sound of it, you were relieved that it sounded familiar. You were a real person with a name. You had that much, at the very least.  

It was too bad that everything else was a total mystery to you.  

“Why am I here?” you managed to ask. “Actually... where is here?”  

[“𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮.”]

“Who are you, then?”  

[“𝐈’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐚 𝐬𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐦. 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲. 𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐬.”]

You felt yourself frown. “Tasks? What sort of tasks? I still don’t understand. And my head... it’s starting to hurt a lot. I’m really scared. Why don���t I remember anything?”

[“𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐈’𝐦 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤, 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞. 𝐀𝐥𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭?”]

Your head was now throbbing without abandon, but you couldn’t so much as move a hand to even press down on the points that hurt and try to ease the pain. None of this was making any sense. You hated that you didn’t remember anything, and even though this system was trying to claim that it harbored no ill-intent, it wasn’t exactly answering your questions either.  

“I want to leave,” you breathed out. “Please. Let me leave. Are you the one who took my memories? If you did, I’m begging you to give them back. I’m terrified not knowing what’s going on. I don’t know how to explain this, but... it feels like a piece of me has been ripped away. I don’t even know who I am.”  

The system didn't respond for a long time, and you felt as though you might drown in this sea of emptiness.

Eventually, you heard another ping.    

[“𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞. 𝐈𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭.”]

The more of its messages you read, the more you doubted whether this system was truly an ally.  

But what else could you do? You couldn’t even move a muscle. You were absolutely helpless, so you could only bite back your tears and try to stay strong.

“Okay,” you agreed. “I just want my memories back. As long as you’re not going to make me do anything crazy... then I’m in.” 

The next ping sounded more chipper, somehow. As if the system was pleased with your response.  

[“𝐄𝐱𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐥𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝.”]

You didn't even manage to protest before the scene changed.  

Suddenly, you could move again. It wasn’t dark or quiet anymore either. There were crowds of people all over the place. Most of them seemed to be in a hurry to get someplace; some even accidentally bumped into you as they scurried about.  

Unsurprisingly, you didn’t recognize where you were, but for now, it was better than being trapped in darkness.  

“Where is this?” you asked. You must’ve looked rather silly to all the bystanders, since you were talking to thin air, as far as they were concerned. But you could care less about maintaining appearances right now. What mattered was getting some goddamn answers.

[“𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐌𝐮𝐬𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐟𝐮, 𝐉𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐧. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞.”]

“Alright...” 

It was strange how they said you would be living here, not that you had been living here. Yet another cryptic answer, although you shouldn’t have even been surprised at this point.  

[“𝐘𝐞𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.”]

“Okay. And... do I have a family?” you couldn’t help but ask. “Is there anyone who can help tell me what I’ve forgotten?”  

The system’s next response made your heart sink.  

[“𝐍𝐨. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲. 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫. 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬.”]

You briefly wondered if they were lying to you, but you supposed you had no real way of confirming the truth right now. This was all so frightening. You desperately wished you could remember something—anything—so that it would ease your nerves even just a little. 

[“𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲. 𝐈’𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧. 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐞. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐤. 𝐈𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐛𝐲.”]

That sure made you perk up. A person, they’d said. Whoever that person was, maybe they could help you once you told them you were struggling with a severe case of amnesia. Maybe they would know what to do, and you wouldn’t have to rely on this stupid system who just kept stringing you along without even giving you a chance to breathe.  

So, you nodded.

“Alright. Tell me where I need to go.”  

[“𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐈’𝐦 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐮𝐩. 𝐅𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐩 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐭’𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦.”]

Just as they’d said, the next screen that popped up provided you with a clear visual as to which way you needed to go. You followed it dutifully, somewhat nervous that you were being led into a trap. After all, maybe this system was leading you straight towards a serial killer or something. Maybe it’s true purpose was to get you murdered.  

Fuck. Maybe I should reconsider. Maybe I need to go to the police first.  

Except it was too late for that.  

[“𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐠𝐮𝐲? 𝐇𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧. 𝐀𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.”]

The guy in question was a teenager, presumably around your age, with spiky ash blonde hair, crimson eyes, and a rather nasty expression. He was angrily chugging a can of pop, and once he was finished, made the can explode in his hands before tossing the smoking remains to the ground.  

You gaped. “He just littered, but also... how did he do that? I swear I just watched him create an explosion with his bare hands.”

[“𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤𝐬. 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.”]

“Wow,” you mumbled breathlessly. “Do I have a Quirk too?”

[“𝐈’𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐤, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦.”]

“What do I say?”

[“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐫, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐢𝐦. 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐜𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.”]

Huh?

You could’ve sworn you misread the message. What the hell were they talking about? Why did they want you to put the moves on some person you’d only just seen for the first time in your life?

Or... was it the first time, actually? The longer you stared at this guy, the more you were starting to feel like he looked familiar somehow. But maybe that was good. Maybe that meant he could help trigger some of your memories.  

The system continued to coax you. 

[“𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐬. 𝐎𝐛𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐥𝐲, 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩. 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧. 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐞’𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮.”]

You figured that would be easier said than done, but... okay. All you had to do was be friendly, you supposed. Just walk up to him and make polite conversation. Yeah. You could do this. It was going to be just fine.  

Taking a deep breath, you picked up the pace and walked fast enough to match his stride. Thankfully, he was alone, which would hopefully make this whole thing a lot less awkward. 

Key word being hopefully.

“Hello!” 

It was the only thing you could think to say. How else were you supposed to greet a total stranger, after all?  

At the sound of your voice, he turned towards you, and his brows furrowed so tight that it looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel. 

“The fuck do you want?” he spat.  

Oh no. 

You hadn’t expected him to be so confrontational. Granted, most people would probably think it was a bit weird to be called out by a stranger, but the normal response was, “Yes?” or, “How can I help you?”

Yet this guy was glaring at you like he wanted to bash your face in, and all you’d said was one freaking word.  

“H-Hello,” you said again, stuttering this time because you were nervous. “Um, I... I saw you walking by and thought you looked really cool. I’m [Name]. Would you mind giving me your number?” 

Internally, you were face-palming. God, you didn’t know what the hell to say, and the fact that the system said they wanted you to make him fall for you was sending your brain for a loop. You didn’t have any memories about the person you were. Was this something you would normally say? Were you actually good at flirting, but your charisma had disappeared along with your memories?  

The system seemed mildly frustrated as well.

[“𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭. 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝’𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐮𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞. 𝐎𝐡, 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥. 𝐋𝐞𝐭’𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐬.”] 

What happened was that the guy’s scowl deepened tenfold, and on top of already being angry, he now looked considerably disgusted as well.  

“Piss off, dipshit,” he snapped. “I’m not in the mood. You think I’d just give out my number to some random creep? Get lost.” 

He then shoved his hands deep into his pockets and stormed off, muttering curses under his breath the whole while.  

You didn’t need your memories to know that had just gone poorly. 

A new message popped up, but it looked slightly different than the ones you’d been receiving thus far.

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄:

[𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐠𝐨𝐮 𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐞.]

[-𝟏𝟎 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐬.]

𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬: -𝟏𝟎/𝟏𝟎𝟎]

“Bakugou Katsuki,” you mumbled. Huh. Even his name sounded familiar, but you just couldn’t place it. You winced and clutched at your head. It had begun to throb again. You felt like you were on the cusp of remembering something, but there was some sort of wall blocking your memories and keeping them from you.

While you were busy fending off the pain, the system chimed in again.

[“𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐈 𝐠𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐬. 𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝?”]

The system didn’t have a voice, which meant that you couldn’t hear them speak, but there was something mildly threatening about the way the message was phrased.

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[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

[bunnihearted]

🪦🩹

[waywardstation]

I cant remember, but have you read donut hole? I remember the author mentioning you beta'ed for them? or am I misremembering?

(and if you're still taking the requests, how about a barry? no pressure!)

I have!! Some of it, at least!! I did used to beta it but then I had to stop cause I got super overloaded with college and I’m still sort of teaching my brain to calm down from that whole disaster haha

(Mons if you’re reading this, I’m totally up for beta-ing again if you need it!! ^^)

While I’m at it, if any of you enjoy Barry-centric content and haven’t read Donut Hole yet, CHECK IT OUT HERE ON AO3!! ^^

[emotionally-clumsy-soldier]

He covers his face with his hands, tossing aside his helmet. Ruffling up his hair. Gripping at his face, rubbing his nose, anything, anything to get him to fucking snap out of it. But nothing works. Nothing is working and he can't stop fucking crying and he's sick of it and he's sick of himself.

"And there it is," the voice sounds off again. "That, right there. That is pathetic."

"SHUT UP!" He screams in rage, cowering into himself further.

"You can't admit it. You can't admit you want help. You need help. You can't even let people save you from rotting outside-in. You have to do everything yourself."

"I'm not weak." Jane spat. "I can. I can do this. I'm capable."

"Are they weak? Weak and incapable?"

"No-- No, I..."

"Is that how you see your friends, Jane? Weaker than you? Lesser than you?"

"No!"

"Then what are you so AFRAID OF?"

He felt a hand grip his neck and yank him up from his seat, stopping the air right there in his throat. When his dizzied eyes finally looked for the source of the agony, lo, he stared at a pale-skinned, rotting visage of himself. Black blood poured down its face and nose and mouth, and it bared its bloodied teeth with a seething rage unkempt.

"Get--" He stammered, clawing at the phantom's arm.

"This emptiness will consume you." The other spat, tightening his grip. "You know what you need to do. So do it."

"I WON'T!" Soldier screamed, struggling against it with all his might, to no earthly avail. "You- You can't-"

His voice caught in his chest as it gripped tighter again, scowling. It held him over a gnawing pit, seeping into the floor, and laughed as it watched him squirm for his life. Make me.

"It's that easy."

"It's not easy! Shut up! You know nothing about easy!"

"You're a brave man, Doe." It huffed. "Do it."

"Please--" His voice softened. "Please just- Just give me time- I-I can do this by myself I just need time-!"

His vision was beginning to blacken, his hands shaking in desperation. "Please-- Please just give me some d- amn time!"

"It's out." The corpse said, festering disease pooling at its voice. "Now make your choice."

He felt himself slip.

Everything inside of him knew it would all be over if he did, he might die, or worse, he would be stuck here forever because he couldn't fight for himself. He was a coward, he was scum. If he couldn't do it himself, what was he worth? But still, the searing pain began to seep into his skin, into his eyes, blinding him, his head pounding from the rushing, gushing blood. Ears ringing, mind numbing, body growing weaker.

His lips parted, and he finally whispered,

"Help."

"I need help."

Suddenly, all at once, the pain stopped, but a new fear took him over as he found himself plummeting into the gaping pit he was suspended over, flying past wooden stakes and skeletons and ghosts and green flits of ash and ember. The closer he came to the bottom, the closer a roaring green fire came to him, and he screamed and shielded his eyes as it swallowed him up, eating away at him, coarsing through him --

He gasped, laying on his back, staring at a ceiling he knew all too well. The mess hall. He held his hands and arms in front of his face, skin paler than he'd ever seen it, hands coated with dried blood. He attempted to sit up, a sickening crunch sounding off as he yelped in pain. Someone, anyone, please, make it stop. Help me. He heard his thoughts yell, biting his tongue in fear. Saying it was the worst part. He knew his punishment wasn't over yet, so again, through a trembling voice, he cried, "HHh- Help! I c-- I can't move!"

prev

[vampiremansionpoolboy-moved]

going insane over the fact that happiness and care and concern and love is underneath every interaction between newt and hermann in pacific rim

[caffeinatedopossum]

I don't understand why it's generally not socially acceptable to recognize your good qualities. Like I don't understand why it's bad to be a show-off or a know-it-all or to brag. Like I think most people know "those things = bad" but not why.

It also seems like people are always either waaaaay into one end of the scale where they are just so unbearably full of themselves and have preposterously high self esteem (and most people act like this is fine too? Like a lot of celebrities and white men specifically seem to be like this) and I don't understand why so many people respect them then. Or they're the complete opposite with self esteem way too low despite the fact that they have redeeming qualities.

I feel like maybe the reason it's considered bad to brag is because you might 'make' other people feel inadequate but see that seems like a stupid reason to me because the problem then is not that you stated an opinion of your own self worth but is actually that everyone else is conditioned to compare themselves to each other in a very unhealthy way. And I think instead of discouraging people from opening up about what they take pride in, what they like about themselves, what makes them feel happy or content or confident, maybe we could just be discouraging people from viewing those things as personal threats? Idk just trying to formulate some thoughts on this

[nomairuins]

anyways sry its not srs eventually ill get it together . and be a person again. one day

[miutonium]

I love that so much. Never knew he was chill like that I love it

He actually is! He responds to most of his fans but honestly speaking some ppg fans on twitter can be quite....pushy? Annoying? But that is pretty much expected considering this is technically a kids show lol

Anywayy yes he is very receptive with his fans and sometimes do add more lore to fans posts like the last time I posted pages of the ppg drawing guide book for funsies he just qrt saying his wife drew the guides hhhh

ALSO MY FAV IS DEFINITELY WHEN He just casually drops the info that Prof is actually based on Pierce Brosnan's character in Attack on Mars like oh god istg we dont deserve him 😭😭😭

[katyspersonal]

Idk why you get hate when your blog is one of the most honest i have come across and your lore posts are so meta that i don’t even think most bb youtubers have discovered what you have lol. Y’all just got jealous haters.

It is far not the first time I've heard explanation that people are just jealous, really :') 👍 Like... That Alfred-chan (aka Clod Frollo) simply hated me and was jealous and latched onto the first chance to justify the unending wish to remove me is painfully apparent at this rate. Inventing up bigotry, harm and opinions that were never there to get the chance to declare someone you hate a "witch" is the oldest trick in the book! If you convince people the person is bad and harmful, you are automatically justified to treat them however you want.

It might be my lore, because they were really mad at the fact that I write essays on multiple occasions? Like, they try to paint it as me "having no life" or "being mad", but. dude. dude you are projecting. If the only way you could write essay on a topic you care about is abandoning all your chores and needs and/or getting mad at someone, then I have bad news for your intellect? :/ This is a very common attitude from people that cannot say anything interesting on their own and just post the same two-sentence brainlet takes about how much male characters/fans suck or how their [LGBT headcanon] is the only true interpretation and everyone who disagrees can't analyse media. 🤔 So how can they feel better about not having as many interesting headcanons or good theories? They've picked the low-effort way - to attempt destroying the value of "lore essays" by painting them as a bad thing! I will be real tho - they've gotten like, two asks about their headcanons in a lifetime (both about the same character, ironically) and shown that they CAN post something good when they want to, so eventually it is the matter of choosing low-effort way. Destroying is easier than creating!

It could also be freedom, and honesty, like you said. Some people's only trump card is being """good"""! Some people think if they put 'transphobes DNI' in their bio and regularly seek to call out bigotry that isn't here they are automatically a good person who is now allowed to stalk, harass, be toxic in general and push even genuinely innocent people under the bus. But I do not have to compensate for lack of personality and latch onto any ideology or activism - I am already a pretty awesome and interesting individual on my own. 😎 Not to mention how they have to put on the hard show of fighting "for the common good" to keep their following engaged, meanwhile I still have very genuine and deep support even despite my honest fuck-ups (forget the fabricated accusations!). I don't have any other theory than them knowing (maybe subconsciously) that by surrounding themselves by witch-hunters ideological soldiers, they've trapped themselves in the situation where if THEY fuck up - their "fans" will turn on them, if not cancel them. Building following based on ideology instead of shared interest (or one's own unique radiant personality, like mine 😎) is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Because... guess what? Correct, because that sort of people eats their own.

________________________

I'd appreciate no more personal asks like this for some time, because I genuinely start to feel guilty talking about myself so much (in my personal blog.... hmmm logical...). But again, kids, remember - you must make your worth with cool shit like talent, great personality traits, positively encouraging others, etc and not in ideology and making up witches you could "defeat". That person has the capacity by having some nice ideas, being able to craft stuff, drawing. They could easily win all the supporters they've lost back and outgrow me by LARGE merit if they apologised, admitted mistakes and committed to cultivating positive emotions, discussions and content. It is basically so easy and it is so much cringe to take so many Ls because of jealousy and obsession?

[theghostofashton]

.