#isn’t it ironic

[vintage-tigre]

[rosewind2007]

My youngest child this morning:

So what does the name Polyphemus even mean? Many what?

Oldest child:

It means “abounding in songs and legends", "many-voiced" or "very famous".

Youngest child:

Well, that’s ironic…

[builder051]

Some facts (that some people may find hilarious or surprising, and others will find dull and useless.)

George Washington was 21 years old when he was acting as a General in the patriot army during the American Revolution. Most of his friends (Burr, Ben Franklin, etc.) were in the same graduating class. In that time period, most drinkable liquids had to be boiled or fermented to prevent death by waterborne disease. Therefore, our “founding fathers” were more like frat boys taking a stand against administration. With lighters and pocket knives and some rocks to smash the windows… and, though they’d aged a bit, the same drunk fuckers made up the U.S. government system. No wonder it’s so stupidly complex. Complexly stupid.

Leonardo DiCaprio was 23 when working on the set of Titanic. Kate Winslet was… not 23. Most bios state that she was 22 when the film was released. Which is stepping around the fact that Kate Winslet was… not 23 while working on set. She wasn’t 21. She sent in an audition tape at age 17. You do the math.

Keira Knightley was 17 whilst working on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: the curse of the black pearl. Substantial costume and makeup time were necessary to create the illusion of cleavage.

Zero members of Greta Van Fleet were over 18 when they formed the band. Zero members of Greta Van Fleet were over 21 when they signed with a label, started touring, and got radio air time. Half the band was over 21 when they headlined festivals and went on their first tour with Metallica (there have been many similar collabs since). Very shortly after all members turned 21, they did a campaign for a bespoke brewery and debuted their own special edition beer.

Pocahontas was probably a tween (8-12ish) when she met 27-year-old John Smith. They forged something like a convenient friendship, talking first to each other, and later they were able to act as translators as the English engaged in trade with those of the first nation. At approximately age 16, Pocahontas was forcibly converted to Christianity, baptized with a new name (Rebecca), and sealed an arranged marriage with John Rolf. They had a son named Thomas. Smith, on the other hand, was hard at work writing reports and filling out paperwork to send back to England. These documents were highly romanticized, stating that their colony was prosperous and that a native young lady threw herself over him to prevent his beheading… The same report was delivered several times over. With different dates. And different names. And if anyone cares about age of adulthood… It’s John Smith’s fault he wrote something pervy. Though the proper timeline is now academically proven, Disney took Smith’s word for it and went, whoops, we better age up the girl.

[tiers4queers]

IT’S A FLAG OF SHIT

ON THE LA FREEWAY

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 333

I once more believe Battinson Batman needs to be given a child. Or multiple. Multiple children. I am also once more rotating Ghosts Have Wings Au. 

So Batman, still early in his whole vigilante career ends up busting a shipment, nothing too surprising there. Pretty usual honestly. Except for what was in one of the crates already open. Because it looks like some sort of gemstones but… perfectly spherical. Strange. Suspicious. 

But it’s also late, er, early in the morning, and the GCPD is notoriously corrupt, so like, he’s not going to just leave the weird gemstones, each about the size of a plum or so. (Dear Gotham he’s apparently hungry, and might inwardly vow to never let anyone realize what his tired mind decided to use as measurement) 

So he, unknowingly spurred on by more than just a slight bit of ecto contamination, takes the strange spheres back home. Just puts them in his pockets and heads back to the manor that they moved back into after the whole Riddler mess. (He even found a cool cave! With a bunch of terrifying bats, but they made a glass separator! For safety!) 

But in Bruce’s defense of forgetting about them, he’s more than a little tired and hungry and just wants to sleep for a bit, y’know? So maybe he forgets about the gems as he falls asleep in the chair in the cave (Alfred was not pleased!) until he starts digging around for them. Erm. Did they fall out somewhere?? There’s no holes in his belt pockets… 

And maybe these sort of things shouldn’t slip his mind, the spheres had felt Weird with a capital W, but he gets forced to a circus and there’s an… accident. So maybe he pushed it away as not important because there’s now an angry grieving eight-year old living with him and he’s panickedly reading any and all sort of parenting books he can get a hold of because he has no clue what he’s doing. 

Yeah, maybe his back is itching like crazy no matter what he tries, and maybe he threw up the other day, but it’s fine. This is fine. 

….

Oh dear Gotham those are feathers, this is not fine- ALFREEED!

[valewritessss]

Annabeth antis who baby percy around act as if Percy wouldn’t hate them if he was a real person they knew

[mariathechosen1]

MAG 22 // TMAGP 23

[stupidlybookish]

Xaden: Be careful.

Violet: Always am.

Xaden: Respectfully disagree.

[toocabaret]

I’ve been having some Thoughts™️ about the weird meta paradox of gerri kellman’s sexuality. as basically The Older Woman on the executive floor she’s trying as much as is possible to blend in with her male colleagues while also not being perceived to be doing so. muted colours and understated makeup. a competent filing cabinet. her husband is dead and her daughters are nameless. she was sexual once but that’s out of sight out of mind and now it’s just the work. it must be a relief in some ways to become finally unfuckable because you’re over 40. she can finally be taken seriously, but only if she toes the line between being too female and not female enough. trying but not too hard. desirable in the past tense only. an honorary man but still in a skirt. and while the men around her can fuck their much younger assistants and get sports massages and run a sex trafficking ring on a cruise ship, she is the job and only the job and that keeps her safe. for a bit anyway.

the irony of gerri saving the company from the full legal extent of a sex scandal by dating someone from the DOJ??? like i’ll never be over it. even filing cabinets have to flatter and please and fuck when called upon. i genuinely don’t believe any of the other execs could have swung it because they’re not women. she dated laurie (generally unseen unless framed from another man’s possessive perspective) to save the men from going to jail for covering up rape allegations. the irony is delicious. and even though she did that, she’s discarded once she’s framed sexually. Dick Pic Gate was out of her control and yet when confronted with any element of gerri’s sexuality (even her PASSIVE sexuality, even after using it to save his company), logan dismisses her as weak or impractical or failing or whatever other excuse he uses to justify his disgust.

i would argue that roman’s interest in gerri is not in spite of but BECAUSE of her asexual framing. it’s a challenge that he’s never going to win which is ideal for his impotency issues; he can push and push and get the thrill out of it, out of the fucked up power dynamic, but he knows he’ll never have to actually fuck her. it’s all hypothetical: down a phone, through a door, half-joking, covered in sensible skirt suits. gerri’s deliberate lack of sexualizing is counterintuitively a turn-on for roman. and i bet the game of chicken they play is freeing for her too because the fact that she has to be professional and cannot be sensual is part of the fun of it. “roman is weird about gerri”. “it’s fucking disgusting”. not because of their family history, or their professional positions, but because she’s old. because the absence of her sexuality is enough of a presence to be off-putting. shiv patronising her about it as a power play is so weird because she’s talking to her simultaneously like a child and like an old woman, and gerri, agency-less, just has to keep reassuring her “i can cope”.

BUT it’s worse than that because it’s so meta. Because gerri is hot. her actor is attractive and like roman, many people watching find her sexless, no-nonsense framing to be titillating. me included. what if roman likes gerri not because of oedipal issues but just because she’s hot and god forbid we find a woman over 50 hot? but whether or not gerri is hot in the context of the show shouldn’t be a big deal, she should have been able to escape this by now!!! she’s in her 60s she’s a widow she’s tired stop sexualizing her!!! but don’t NOT sexualize her either because that’s problematic too and old women can be hot and old women shouldn’t have to be hot and suddenly i’m making gerri do what waystar does and exist as something sexual and non-sexual at the same time. she has a huge plotline in which she’s essentially a sex object. whether or not gerri is fuckable is talked about as much in the show with mildly-disgusted fascination as it is in the real world!!! she can’t win she’s hot she’s old she’s sexually framed she’s deliberately trying not to be she wants sex she doesn’t want sex she’s covering sex with sex and she’s telling roman to leave her alone so she can just do her damn job because she knows that this is what will bring her down!!! sex scandals historically don’t get men fired but an unsolicited dick pic knocks gerri off her podium in logan’s head forever. even now i’m talking about it at such length because i’ve given it so much thought!!! she’s the only woman in the old guard and she’s one of the most sexualized characters in succession. but only as a joke. in the abstract. never actually. because that would be weird. right?

[butchmartyr]

like i need you understand how the egg who goes on /mu/ to post dogshit albums for laffs and calls other anons on /v/ and /vp/ a fag for bad taste in Pokémon is like… like these actions are not even close to as reactionary as earnestly spreading thoughtpieces about the inborn violence of the rape organ and internalizing other radfem shit, like tons of people on here used to constantly do and excuse as “just learning about feminism”

[kacievvbbbb]

I don’t know something about Law trying very hard to be perceived as cold, distant and uncaring while very literally wearing his love on his sleeves.

Makes you think….

[bohemian-nights]

People really are missing the point of a character like Nettles. Being the a non-Valyrian dragonrider is what makes her different(in every positive definition of that word) and helps to serve a larger purpose in this story.

Valyrian blood is not special. It’s not needed to do great things. No one is special because of what family they happen to be born into.

A non-Valyrian Nettles shows that we are more than the circumstances which we are born into. Our birth, our names, and our very blood does not define us. Our actions are what do. We can overcome so much and rise to become absolutely extraordinary with a little bit of determination, patience, and a dash of help along the way. Nettles exemplifies that to the fullest extent.

She's more than a Black Valryian. She doesn’t have to be Valyrian. She shouldn’t have to be Valyrian.

She’s a survivor. She’s a final girl. She’s a Black low-born girl likely without a drop of dragons blood that tames a wild dragon with patience that killed countless others who had dragons blood. She survived the Dance where others high and low alike fell and perished to become a firewitch to the Burned Men.

Her legacy is immortalized in the history books(and by the Burned Men cause they still worship her) as one of the last(if not the last) dragonrider(s) before Dany all without having any known Valyrian ancestry.

[onlyymirknows]

“Reiner doesn’t talk about Bertholdt once in s4”

First off, wrong. (Let’s put a pin in this.)

Secondly, who exactly does Reiner have to talk to about Bertholdt after his death?

The people who last knew him as an 11 year old, such as Porco and Colt?

The people who are too young to even remember him, like Gabi and Falco?

Zeke and Pieck, the people who left him for dead?

Anyone else in Marley who can’t know how he and Reiner changed their minds about the island devils?

The Scouts who killed him after he wiped out dozens of their comrades?

Reiner can’t meaningfully talk to some of these people about Bertholdt because they don’t know the person Bert grew up into. For the people who do know the “real” Bert, there’s a lot of baggage related to the Battle for Shiganshina to work through, first.

Know who Reiner can talk to, though? The one person he does talk to meaningfully about Bertholdt?

Annie! The one time Reiner mentions Bertholdt in s4 outside of a namedrop is to Annie.

And it’s to apologize and express his regret over being the reason Annie and Bert never got to see their fathers again. Yes it’s a short conversation but it’s very clear that Reiner didn’t just forget his best friend. The fact that people claim Reiner doesn’t care about Bertholdt is ludicrous.

Look at his face and tell me he doesn’t care!

For the folks who’ve only watched the anime, in the manga Reiner’s nightmare features Levi, Mikasa, and the image of Eren cutting Bertholdt out of his titan. The anime cut this detail out, I believe for scene transition purposes.

In conclusion, Reiner’s silence isn’t an indication that he doesn’t care. Also, I mean, this is Reiner. He cares deeply about the people in his life, even people who don’t deserve it *coughkarinacough*

[lilbitofmac]

Two genius billionaires walk into a room…

[aprill-99]

*Iron Flame Part II Summary*:

Violet: “So…. I think I might be back on my bullshit?”

Xaden: “No.” *grabs her hand* “We are back on our bullshit.”