#isn't that normal. am i crazy

[maddy-ferguson]

byler tumblr is a crazy crazy place because why do people get booed for disliking some stuff in canon. isn't that idk normal in fandoms

[sadcabbages]

dinnertime

You aren't subtle, you know.

Heavy's head might have shrunk, ignore that.

One does not simply draw a fork.

Originally it was supposed to be a bunch of mercs looking at them but I got bored and so now it's just scout being judgemental.

My art has gotten so much better and I actually like how I draw Medic now. We don't talk about how I drew him like a week ago *shudders*. I'll give you one clue as to how I did it. Badly. Very very badly.

[prince-liest]

Slowly but surely, I got some more writing today. I'm hoping that now that I'm getting used to the orientation schedule, I'll be able to finish at least another two chapters of Once Bitten in the next 2.5 weeks before orientation ends, because if not, then I probably won't be able to write during my EM-Peds rotation. I think ortho after that is "only" 50-60 hour weeks, so maybe then?

I dunno, it just feels really weird to know that I'm hitting that part of my training where inpatient rotations are going to be 72 hour weeks (12 hours a day, 6 days a week) and it's a genuinely relevant part of our orientation to be reminded that we have to let our attendings know if we're going to break the 80 hour workweek limits. We get lectures on wellness from admin people who have never worked more than a 40 hour week, and then the psych program director comes by and says, "Yeah, no, you guys are going to be unwell. You will get burned out, and when you meet all of the clinical criteria for depression and think that you need medication, here's my personal number. Call me with whatever you need, and I will also be able to tell you whether you're depressed or if it's residency," because that's the actual triage he can offer given that the problem with resident wellness isn't that we don't know how to take care of ourselves, it's that we're worked to the bone across the board.

Isn't it just wild that this is, like... considered normal?

Anyway, I know that I'll be able to handle it, I appreciate that the actual social culture of our program is full of nice people, and I'll get through it and it's temporary, etc, etc, but I just really want to finish Once Bitten before I get too tired to write for another extended period of time. I don't mind taking breaks from writing, but I like for my projects to be finished so they're not hanging out at the back of my mind. So that's my goal!

[chrisbangs]

i finished thesis, won an award, and have graduated.. hello 👋🥸

[squishosaur]

why is twisted wonderland like "i am going to ruin your life maybe destroy your worldview a little bit <3 i am going to make you get attatched to these ridiculously named anime boy versions of disney characters and then watch them go through every trauma imaginable that keeps getting progressively worse and more complex as we keep going. i am going to fundamentally change you for better or worse and you will never be able to watch a disney movie again without thinking of me. i am going to make you watch as these awkward teens navigate through Evil Highschool and you have to find Your place in it, knowing fully well that, at the end, after all of that, you will leave all your friends and return to your own world alone again" but also "omg hey girl do you want to see your babygirl as a bunny or a plushie perhaps? say yes"

[welcometoteyvat]

jing yuan and yanqing are giving zhongli and xiao if the latter’s canon relationship was Actually fanon’s made up father figure/adopted child dynamic

[hella1975]

my mum: you've been doing really good lately. every part of your life is really stable and you seem genuinely happy, it's great to see :)

me, who's felt like ive been going actually crazy bananas insane for months now: yeah haha

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

All my Lances have some flavor of gender fuckery/non binary going on with them however it's only sr!Lance who has sat down, thought about it hard and realized that "hmmm actually? To be completely honest? I kinda like being not a boy. It's nice, this is nice😊" Rest of them are too far gone for the Realization™, too deep in the shithole they have dug themselves in

[miabrown007]

friendship ended with Oblivio, Elation is my new best friend

[urghost-andurboo]

Hiya! I was wondering if you knew of any literature about reforming the psych system because I agree its broken AF and as someone who's a part of it I want to be able to do better. No worries if not, I just saw posts you've reblogged and thought you'd be a good person to ask!

i do have some recommendations!

"mind fixers: psychology's troubled search for the biology of mental illness" by anne harrington and "comfortably numb: how psychiatry is medicating a nation" by charles barber both give a history of the medicalization of mental illness and critique the biomedical model. (hint: there's a lot of BAD science that makes up the core of psychiatry - the evidence for there being a biological basis for mental illness and psych meds working at all is very flimsy.)

the disorderland podcast debunks bad science, especially pop science, talks about the commodification of mental health, and explores whether the symptoms we pathologize are actually symptoms.

"madness and oppression" by fireweed collective is a workbook that helps you see how you're not crazy -- you're oppressed. it looks at how what a psychologist/psychiatrist would consider a symptom is actually a very rational and normal response to being oppressed.

"on your own: patient-controlled alternatives to the mental health system" by judi chamberlain is written by a psych survivor, and goes into her own experiences as well as what alternatives exist to the system. great for learning about peer support!

"stolen" by elizabeth gilpin is a memoir by a psych survivor. she was abducted and taken to a "treatment" program in Appalachia, then went to a boarding school that functioned more like a prison with abusive group therapy. this one's good for humanizing mental illness BUT can be triggering as hell to psych survivors - so proceed with caution.

"the zyprexa papers" by jim gottstein is probably my favorite on the list, it's about how the antipsychotic zyprexa causes diabetes and metabolic disorders, and is still commonly prescribed (this is how i got diabetes). it shows how psych med regulations are not enforced, especially since zyprexa is often prescribed off-label for conditions it hasn't been shown to be clinically effective for, and has led to death in some cases.

madinamerica.com is a good site to explore for psych abolition, debunking psychology research, new psychology research that centers patient's autonomy and rights, and personal accounts of mental illness. it's been around for a decade so there's a lot of quality content to sift through!

i also recommend reading about peer support and peer respite houses - i don't have any particular books or articles about them, but that can be a good jumping off point to looking for an alternative model to the current psych system.

[startreatment]

.

[sanjarka]

why is your dad's side of the family always demonic.

[hellphrog]

Just watched the spiderman movie. Miguel is a universe vampire who feasts on anomalies. Yall heard it here first.

[exculis]

been thinking about going to see a doctor for the whatever the hell has been going on with me recently and i might not after all bc i feel like i will just sound crazy.

[not-your-lifeline]

I’ll never understand her.

when she pulled out a knife from the kitchen and threatened to kill herself, she explained that she felt the need to ‘punish’ herself because she threatened to stab me in past and forgot about it. and she needed to feel what it’s like to be stabbed.

no one told her to do that, and she’ll never be redeemed for what she did by self-harming. (I think she’s only doing this to make me feel guilty and emotionally manipulate me because she suddenly started to repeat ‘sorry’, ‘please’ without context while acting like a toddler rocking back and forth on the floor)

she used to demand me for forgiveness instead of apologizing like a normal person, and claimed that she’s doing so good and has done nothing wrong (sure, keep telling yourself that.) and refused to apologize not even once. just because that hurts her gigantic ego and she can’t bring herself to apologize out loud in person.

inside her twisted mind, self-harming somehow compensates her wrongdoings and justifies her actions towards others.

It baffles me that while she feels SO sorry for herself, she never feels sorry to me, the victim of her hysteria and constant toxic behavior. who took care of her for over 10 years despite everything, who actively shielded her from harm’s way and offered professional help.

(one time she was forced to apologize to me by other person without even acknowledging ‘what’ she did wrong, so I pointed out she sounds like she’s only apologizing to herself and I can practically hear that there’s not even a shred of sincerity in her words. and I can’t accept empty apology like that. then she went batshit crazy crying and shouting “I APOLOGIZED WHY AREN’T YOU FORGIVING ME”)

the sheer audacity.

I’ll never forgive her, even when she’s dead. just as she’ll never apologize until her last breath, refusing to accept how much of a horrible excuse of a person she is.

die mad about it you bitch.

[femmeterypolka]

prof sent the first chapter of all the books we're going to read and guys i think 'paul takes the form on a mortal girl' is going to be this semester's 'killing myself novel'