#isolating/putting up a front is likely harmful to you AND your relationships in the long run

[tea-and-secrets]

İ dont know but i think i may have just come to the realization that i am a bad person.

İ talk to people, i get into relationships, i get i to friendships and end up talking to other people about the stuff they did that i dont appriciate

Could be lying, could be yelling, could be anything. Most of the time it is because the action feels unjust or hurts me. İts mostly personality traits but when a person bothers me i always end up talking to other people about them, kind of spewing out ny frustrations towards them just to act like nothing happened to their face, i always have extreme reactions when someone tells me that i am a flawed person/bad person because i have such an intense fear of it.

İ excuse the actions of people endlessly just to rant about it to other people. This is either my people pleasing coming back to bite me in the ass or i really am an awful person

İ dont know how i should react to this? Should i isolate myself from everyone i have talked behind the backs of? Should i continue to live in my possible delusion of the fact that all my actions are explainable?

.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Akaza stumbling upon a crying child dokusha living in an abandoned cabin in the forest? The child just keeps shying and hiding away from Akaza whenever he tries to approach her? How would their relationship be like as months pass by? Would dokusha warm up to him?

Ps love your writing!!! Keep up the good work!!!

Hehe. Pretty cute tbh and i suppose our Dokusha is a human here so let’s try this out. Let’s just hope Akaza is merciful to children! Also, this is kinda short. Sorry!

Akaza- Of Different Worlds

Akaza doesn’t really know how to react to finding a lonesome afraid shuddering human child in this big empty wooden cottage, buried deep in a dark menacing forest. Where’s your parents? Why are you alone? Even so… whilst he feels like he should eat you. He doesn’t want to so he decides to shoot his shot and try approach this poor child

Akaza also wasn’t suspecting you to shy away then run for safety in some part of the cabin. You’re afraid of him? Well… of course you are. He’s a demon, the Upper Moon Three but when has he expresses any type of aggression?

Akaza just accepts the fact he has no chance to try lure you out to prove to you he isn’t harmful. So, all he does is walk out of the cabin then come back with baskets of food, drinks and more that he stole, leaving them by the front door

Akaza cannot force you to accept nor approach him but what he does do. Even after he leaves and cannot stop worrying about the poor homeless familyless child isolated from human society, is provide you with supplies and occasional protection. Not sure if you’ll ever see everything he does for you

Akaza really doesn’t know what’s driving him to act so much for one human but he really cares about you and he despises that a child is left alone to die. He’ll just have to step up and care for you himself, even when you scamper off to hide from him

Though the process of getting you to like him is long and painful, all the hardwork pays off since one time. Akaza is greeted by you at the door and you inviting him in. It ends with you actually welcoming him into your life, instead of shutting you out. Now, he gets to see what’s really driving him to do all this

He views you like his own child, he doesn’t want you to end up dead, he has enough humanity to spare onto this single kid

Akaza’s relationship with you goes from him providing and protecting you with absolutely no reward in exchange to you letting him in willingly as the months pass by to becoming friends then up to now, he’s decided to secretly adopt you as a surrogate father figure

Akaza isn’t the best surrogate father. He is busy, he is an Upper Moon of the demon species and he has to feast on human men to keep himself alive but he wouldn’t lay a hand on you. In such short time and with such previously short interactions, he has grown a parental fondness over you and it’s not going away anytime soon

Akaza may not be able to show up in the mornings but he promises he’ll always be around in the night. He’ll always bring you supplies and protection, and he’ll always put you to bed so you feel comfortable

He’s a demon but he’s your demon father. Your demon martial arts swinging father that will keep you safe, now that you’ve bring him a whole new set of life and life views. He has never realised how much he needed somebody else that’s more innocent and sweet in his life

Especially after losing somebody so innocent and sweet in his past life

“Come, Dokusha. Let’s go outside in the nice cool night and play! It’ll be a wonderful time. The stars are out, it’s quiet and all the animals will be asleep. We’ll go to bed right after this, I promise”

[yanderes-galore]

Hey, man. I have a question. Can you do a Yandere Concept for Sonic the Hedgehog?

I can try, sure! Sorry for the long wait, hope it was worth it!

Yandere! Sonic The Hedgehog Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Jealousy, Clingy behavior, Denial, Paranoia, Isolation, Possessive behavior, Kidnapping, Mentioned violence, Dubious/Forced companionship/relationship.

Sonic is a hero at heart.

He's cocky, easy-going, compassionate, honest, loyal, cool, and always wants his friends to smile.

It would be rather strange if he took a dark turn, wouldn't it?

Which is probably why he can hide his obsession so well.

While usually quite honest, his obsessive behavior would start subtle and hidden.

I feel Sonic would become obsessive over a new friend he's made.

He probably doesn't even see his obsession as anything bad... or even notices it at first.

He'd probably just think his overprotective and clingy behavior is just him wanting to keep you safe.

Like any other hero... right?

Sonic's obsession definitely comes off as him being caring and protective.

But as more danger occurs... and you're always put in danger due to Eggman... his feelings towards you only get worse and worse.

Obsession no doubt corrupts this hedgehog when it comes to you.

At first Sonic just seems to want to be around you all the time.

You two are good friends and you trust him!

He isn't bad to be around, always managing to keep you in a good mood with his personality.

It's all very subtle... he just claims he checks on you because he felt a bit worried is all!

However... the longer he knows you, the more he begins to notice his darker feelings.

Soon he realizes he feels tense and uneasy when you're around others.

Tails, Knuckles, Silver, Shadow, Amy, etc...

For some reason when he sees you with the others he just gets... upset.

Which only seems to make the hedgehog stick around you more.

He can only come up with so many excuses....

Sonic is in denial when you ask him if something's wrong.

He's never been better! He just... wanted to spend more time with you!

He's been visiting you everyday.

Sonic has never been this clingy.

However... he has been through a lot.

His obsession grows as he begins to identify his feelings as jealousy.

He's jealous of you being around others.

It's unhealthy... he's self-aware enough to notice this.

But at time same time he's unsure of how to fix things.

He knows it's wrong... but the thought of keeping you to himself is tempting.

The others no doubt notice Sonic's getting twitchy about you.

Soon things just aren't subtle anymore.

But Sonic waits until Eggman attacks again before making any moves.

He's smart, he waits until Eggman captures you before saving you.

Now Sonic has an excuse to isolate you.

He'd never let Eggman or any other foe harm you, no worries.

If they did then he may lose his morals just for a moment to hurt them.

When you wake up, you're locked in a home.

Most likely your home.

In front of you sits Sonic, smiling softly when you wake up.

His normally cheerful green gaze looks darker than normal.

Sonic would then explain that Eggman captured you, but Sonic saved you once again.

He then warns you not to leave your bed... you've been injured by Eggman, best to rest!

It's unknown if Sonic truly caused your injury or not.

Sonic really hates being deceptive, he even hates confining you to one place...

But if he wants you safe, happy, and all to himself...

He has to make sacrifices.

Sonic may then try to tell you it's dangerous to go outside.

The others try to ask Sonic what he's done, yet he admits nothing.

He's keeping you out of harm's way...

You just need to listen to him...

He's the only one who can keep you safe... even if it means keeping you locked in a room with only Sonic to greet you.

Overall Yandere Type: Overprotective, Obsessive, Clingy, Manipulative, Paranoid (at times), Jealous, Possessive (at times), Caring, Sometimes is either delusional or self-aware.

[danikamariewrites]

Hi , love I absolutely love all your writing

I dont know if your requests are still open if they are could you write a azriel comfort fic if you're comfortable writing where his gf shows him her sh scars and they both cry in eachothers arms and hug eachother and az now has a shadow attached to her by her side when he's away to protect her ?

Brave

Azriel x reader

A/n: hi anon, thank you so much. I’ve been wanting to write something like this for a while now. I used to struggle with sh as a teenager. I won’t go into my whole story but if you struggle with sh please know you’re not alone and I implore you talk to someone whether it’s a therapist, your best friend, sibling, parent etc. There are people in your life who love you very much and want to help you.

Warnings: mentions of self harm, mental health struggles, angst. Please don’t read if these topics trigger you!

As you were doing the dishes last night your sleeve slid up higher than you intended it to go. You knew Azriel saw your scars from the look on his face but he didn’t say anything about it. You knew he wouldn’t but it was time to come clean about your past.

Centuries ago, your mental health took a turn for the worst and you hit a low point. You were so depressed and convinced no one in your life cared about you. You felt so alone and isolated you just wanted to feel something other than that emptiness in your chest.

So you took out on yourself in the worst way. It went on for years without anyone in your life noticing. Or so you thought. Your mother found out and was distraught. She held you crying, telling you she was going to do everything to get you the help you needed.

You healed mentally and physically, but you were still self conscious about the scars you left behind. You had yet to tell Azriel about your past. Both of you took your time opening up in your relationship not wanting to rush anything. He only recently told you about what his stepbrothers did to his hands.

Tonight, you decided it was your turn to open up. Entering the sitting room you cleared your throat. Azriel looked up from his book at you. He gave you a small smile as you fidgeted under his gaze. Padding over to the couch you sat next to him.

“So…I know you saw the scar on my arm last night. And I want to tell you what happened.” Putting his book down Azriel held your hands, rubbing the rough pads of his thumbs across your knuckles. “You don’t have to if you feel like you’re not ready. I don’t want to push you to do something that makes you uncomfortable.”

The corner of your mouth twitched up as you looked down at your joined hands. “You’re not forcing me to do anything Az. I promise.” He dips his head motioning for you to continue. Slipping your hands out of his you move to roll up your sleeve to show your boyfriend the grouping of thin scars on your forearm.

Azriel’s eyes widened. He looked up at you, face scrunched in pain and confusion. “Centuries ago I-I hit a rough patch. Mentally. I thought I was useless and no one wanted me. I was lonely, I had no friends, and my family was preoccupied with my brother’s achievements.”

You started getting choked up. Your eyes watering with each word. It had been a long, long time since you had told anyone close to you what happened. But you were glad you were telling Azriel. He cares about you so much you’re sure that you’re in love with each other. You think he might be the one you spend the rest of your life with.

Clearing your throat you continue, “So I started hurting myself. It went on for a long time before my mother intervened. But I’m ok now. I saw a therapist and I’ve worked through it all.” Azriel reached out slowly, cradling your arm in his hands gently.

You feel tears fall down your face quickly. Blinking them away you weakly smile at Az. When he looks at you, you’re shocked to see tears of his own wetting his cheeks. It was rare Azriel cried in front of anyone. “Thank you for trusting me. I’m so sorry you went through that y/n.”

The softness of his voice broke you. It wasn’t like his usual quiet manner. This was pure hurt for someone he loves. Azriel pulls you into his lap, pressing his lips to the crown of your head as he rocked you lightly. You felt his tears in your hair as yours soaked his shirt.

You had never felt so cared for and accepted by anyone in your life. Azriel always knows how to comfort you, making you feel safe. “I love you, y/n. And I’m always here for you if those thoughts ever come back. Please, please know that you are wanted, and perfect, and you bring me so much joy.”

Leaning away from Az a little you cup his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs and smile at him. “I love you too Azriel. Thank you, for always knowing what to say. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” He leaves a slow kiss on your forehead before standing with you in his arms.

“Let’s get some rest, yeah?” “Yeah” you whisper, pressing your face into Azriel’s neck.

[trinkerichi]

What is your oppion on ribbun?

OOOH that's Jax/Gangle right? Oh boy you probably aren't asking for this but I feel like doing a big ramble and this is gonna be a long one. CHARACTER ANALYSIS INCOMING!

I'll preface this by saying I don't usually get too invested in shipping. I really like drawing interesting character dynamics tho, so I'll play around with the ships I see without really sticking to one. It's why I tend to draw a LOT of different ships only a few times each.

I'll ALSO preface by saying I really uh. Don't like Jax very much lmao I'm sorry. I'm not opposed to jerk characters in general, but I just didn't think any of his lines were funny. BUT I think that comes down to the fact that we only have a pilot and haven't seen much of their personalities yet. My favorite jerk characters, (Osomatsu, Bender, etc) all balance out their jerkiness by being dorky insecure losers that almost never win in the end so you kinda feel bad for them. I think if Jax ends up being written that way I'll become endeared to him. And goose has revealed before that none of the others actually like Jax so I kinda want to see that.

On the other hand, Gangle is my favorite character. She has barely 2 minutes of screen time but I love her concept so much. A friend called me out for this recently lol but all my BIG FAVS are characters that are themed around strong divided emotions. Pretending they're happy even when they're not, and having a hard time controlling their emotions as a result. (The latest ENA episode was a great example of this. Anyway.) Gangle being a sensitive flimsy pile of ribbons with a literal mask for a face? The fact that the tragedy mask seems to be her REAL face, while the comedy mask is so fragile that breaks if you so much as breathe on it too hard? I find that COMPELLING I want to see a whole series about her honestly.

Pairing her with Jax was inevitable, as is any fandom ship where the characters hate each other in canon. I usually hate this kind of pairing but this time I found it kinda fascinating! I think it's cause we don't really know a whole lot about either one of them so there's a lot of room to explore their characters through it.

I really do feel like Jax could hold a specific resentment towards Gangle. He's obviously not handling being stuck in the circus well, and he's bullying easy targets. He plays dirty. A person with high self esteem doesn't do that. Maybe he takes it out on Gangle because he hates how open she is about her feelings. He's putting on a tough and uncaring front, trying to pretend nothing bothers him, and she's out here being sensitive and fragile? How dare she! He's pushing her to her limits and she still won't harden herself. She doesn't have the energy to! Maybe she feels like she doesn't deserve to defend herself. It's so unhealthy! It's horrible!... And uh, sometimes horrible things are fun to write! DON'T JUDGE ME.

(And just so nobody accuses me of being insensitive here, without revealing too much, I've been in Gangle's place before. That's all I'll say.)

So with relationship stuff oh boy. We can take all those toxic traits to their extremes. But who would be the instigator?

What if Gangle coped with Jax's bullying by becoming more clingy. Becoming used to it.. Seeking him out. After all, he's paying attention to her right? Her warped self image being depressed and isolated in this circus for years would drive her to wanting any kind of stimulation.. does she realize this is self harm? What's it going to take for someone to step in before it goes too far?

Or on the other hand, what if Jax's fixation on bullying Gangle got mixed up in some more complex feelings.. If he really wanted to, I can see him manipulating her into a relationship just to see how many boundaries he can cross. He could have her wrapped around his little finger. Literally. He DOES have some misplaced affection for her deep down. He won't let himself think about it long enough to understand it, he's acting on impulse. She's uncomfortable but thankful for the seemingly lessened cruelty, so she puts up with it. And sometimes, rarely, between the thinly veiled insults disguised as compliments, he says something truly genuine and vulnerable. She can see it. He needs help. He needs love. But they're both hurting each other even more. It's wrong, but they're stuck now.

And now.. for the drama. Nobody can be pushed that far before snapping. As is the usual trope with soft spoken pushover characters, Gangle is a ticking time bomb. And I don't think she'd be willing to abstract entirely because of Jax, at least without clawing her way down.

Here's a fun fact. Have you seen that walk cycle video? Jax is tall, sure, but Gangle is PRETTY DARN TALL TOO. and she slouches. With her ribbons stretched to their full length she would tower over everybody. I want to see her get angry and be SCARY. I want her to stand up to Jax and lash out and scream and see him Genuinely Terrified. Everyone else caught in the crossfire too, covered in ribbon slashes. It wouldn't last forever. If the tension doesn't cause her to abstract she'll calm down eventually, or someone will be forced to break her mask to snap her out of the tantrum. Jax would pretend it didn't shake him at all, but would be noticeably quiet afterwards. Kinda shifting uncomfortably, they both avoid eye contact for as long as possible. His teasing towards Gangle never goes beyond slight ribbing again.

Whew.

Ok uh if you read this far, I don't LIKE the ship but it's a great character exercise! Hah I've thought a lot about it clearly. That being said, i usually prefer sweet cuddly ships myself. I think my favorite is Gangle/Pomni. I haven't seen this one around much, but those two are my favorite characters in the show and I'd love to see them interact! I think they could help each other with their anxieties and it'd be really cute. I don't even necessarily need it to be romantic I just think they'd have a sweet little dynamic together.

Surprisingly I've seen Gangle shipped with Zooble the most even though they haven't talked at all either and Zooble has like.. 2 lines. It might be cute but I wanna know more about them first.

As for Gangle n Kinger, I prefer them to have more of a father daughter type dynamic.

[infin1ty-garden]

can you do a jill roberts x gn! reader? Reader and jill were childhood bestfriends but then reader moved.And now reader is back and she and jill reunite during the killings and jill is revealed and she prolly gives reader an option to join her or die? You could choose the ending.

UNTIL THE END

.ೃ࿐ summary: [ in request ] .ೃ࿐ pairing: jill roberts x gn! reader .ೃ࿐ warnings: weapons, injuries being inflicted, murder, stabbings & threats .ೃ࿐ word count: 747 .ೃ࿐ author note: sorry this request took a bit longer. some personal stuff came up. i'm working on other request but it's taking longer than expected.

masterlist. & part 2

Woodsboro barely changed since you'd last been there, at least that's what everyone tells you. To be honest you don't remember it well. Something or someone you will never forget is Jill Roberts. You used to be bestfriends. Living next door to each other. Inseparable, where one goes the other will follow.

When you moved the two of you tried to stay in touch but one thing led to another and you haven't spoken in a long time. You hoped she remembered you at the very least. Your parents picked a horrible time to move back as the ghostface murder's have started again. But there was nothing you could do about it.

You did reunite with Jill and she did in fact remember you as did her aunt. It felt as if almost nothing had changed. Jill fills you in on what you'd missed as well as introducing you to Kirby and Oliva. They seemed nice enough. Everyone was on edge since the murders started and Jill was glued to your side.

She was the one to invite you to the after party at Kirby's house. Once you arrived it seemed as if there was no one in the house. Suddenly Jill came running down stairs. "Where's everyone?"

"I don't know Sindy is on the roof chasing away the killer," Jill said, clearly panicking and assuring you somewhere safer. "The killer's here?" She didn't answer you, instead leading you to a hiding place. "I'm gonna call the cops. You stay here," the next few minutes you heard a lot of commotion but decided to stay put.

The door was ripped open by Charlie. He grabs you. Pointing the knife at your neck. "What are they doing here?" Jill was now dressed in a ghostface costume. "Are you trying to double cross me?"

"I would never do that, baby." In a blink of an eye she held the gun up. Shooting Charlie in the head. He dropped to the floor. You froze. Jill just killed somebody. She slowly moved closer to you. Cupping your cheeks and moving your head away from Charlie's body.

You only now noticed Sidney and Travis were also in the room. Sidney being the only one alive. "Look at me! You don't have to be afraid," she pulled you closer. "It's just you and me until the end. What do you say?" Sidney begged her not to do this. Not to harm anymore people.

"Until the end," you replied. Jill kissed you with ferocity, you had never experienced as if wanting to convey years of longing in one kiss. Everything after that was a blur. You ended up in the hospital. Sidney was pronounced dead. Leaving the only survivors being you, Jill and Gale.

Jill basked in the fame that came with being one of the survivors. You refused any attempt to get you in front of a camera. Every single thought in Jill's head was consumed by her new found fame or at least that's how you felt. She constantly cancelled on dates or didn't bother showing up.

You felt even more isolated. Your peers avoided you like the plague. Afraid that being in your presence would lead to them being the next victim. Even if the killers were caught. Your parents didn't know how to act around you. Resulting in them pretending as if nothing happened.

You decided to break up with Jill as she has barely shown a smidge of care since the relationship started. You thought a text was the best option since that's the only way the two of you interact. She didn't reply to your text. You went on with your day feeling a lot better. You thought Jill wouldn't care.

You thought wrong as she was holding a knife against your neck. "What did I do?"

"Why would you leave me?"

"Over text! What kind of person does that?"

"Why would YOU do that?" Tears were falling down her face. "You promised! You promised until the end," her voice got quieter by the end. Her grip on the knife loosened. You slowly took it from her. Putting it out of her reach. "You are the one who gave up on us. Not me."

"Please don't leave me. I'll change," her hands gripped your shirt. "I've heard that enough time to know that's not gonna happen."  The knife was in her hand again. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME! You can't leave me. I won't let you." She stabbed you.

Thanks for reading and requesting!

[akirawrites24]

hi, fellow writing blog! I love your stuff it's really good

I was wondering if you could do hcs for how being yanderes would fuck up the phantom thieves wills of rebellion (and personas if that's not too much)? Thank you :)

Shall do. Also I didn’t write for Sumire as I don’t know of what to do for her.

Phantom Thieves x Reader

Fandom: Persona 5

________

Ren Amamiya/Akira Kurusu

He will make sure you are completely isolated from everyone

He will change the hearts of all your friends so they would leave you

Your persona their voice is slowly starting to fade as you accept no one wants you around

Except for him maybe

The Nav still is on your phone, but your uniform is not there anymore when you enter the metaverse

After your persona is fully gone, only he will see you after so long and will make sure you can only depend on him

“Don’t worry, I won’t leave you”

Guess who’s palace was formed on that day?

Ryuji Sakamoto

He won’t isolate you, but instead he will try to hang out with you the most

Does he get jealous? Yes, and that jealousy unfortunately ended the lives of many

You are getting suspicious that he has to do something with the dead of the boys around you, but you can’t prove it nor are you fully convinced

Once you find out he is actually behind it, you are heartbroken

The person you trusted the most ended the lives of your friends.

Instead of your persona fading, it became stronger due the anger

“Look dude, I just got angry! You know I get angry right?!

You immediately put his name in the Nav. It’s a hit.

Ann Takamaki

Considering her own trauma with Kamoshida, she won’t do anything harmful

That doesn’t mean she wouldn’t do something though

She will protect you more then the others in the Metaverse, making sure that you won’t be hurt

The others quickly noticed that (meaning: only Makoto, Haru, Ren and Akechi)

You didn’t, you thought it was just normal

She constantly asks you out and most of the times you say yes

After a while, she stops protecting and helping the others

Now that you did notice.

“Oh don’t worry! It’s nothing!”

You had gotten a lot more stronger after infiltrating her palace once you found out about it

Yusuke Kitagawa

It is no surprise that he is stalking you

And he let’s you know too

You got paranoid after the fact that a huge amount of love letters and creepy poems ended up in you mail box

Your persona is trying to calm you down

You feel like you are going crazy, because you are sure you are being followed on the streets now as well

He tries to comfort you in anyway he can, so you are back on the rails and keep your persona

He is taking it too far, but he can’t stop doing it. He just loves you so much.

You never find out about his palace either

He is having doubts if he should send the photos of you as well that he took when you weren’t looking

Makoto Niijima

Wishes that you would see she is in love with you already

Your will of rebellion and your persona don’t get affected, but hers will

You will notice her change in personality, and notice her persona is slowly changing colors and looks too

At some point, she blurted out that she wants to keep you all to herself

She needs help, and you are more than happy to give it to her

You asked her if she had a palace, to no surprise she does

You stole her heart and she went back to normal, so it’s a happy end :)

Futaba Sakura

It’s hard for her to do anything really

Social anxiety and all

She tries to keep a conversation with you, but only you. No one else is going to be present

You actually help HER will of rebellion and persona get stronger

She just wants to live with you and make you happy, no one will get hurt because of it

She is beginning to learn to tell people to back off though

You thought it was cute

The most healthy relationship in all honesty

Thinks of making a body pillow of you-

Haru Okumura

Might be the worst yandere of all

Literally kidnaps you and kills everyone you know in front of you with her axe so you would fear her and won’t try to run away

She would kill you too if you tried so you would stay with her forever

You are scared, and don’t dare to do anything

So yes, you have lost all the will of rebellion and your persona

She also took your phone away, so it's no use

Bad ending for you reader

Goro Akechi

Tries to convince you to join him instead

Gets angry when you don’t

That’s fine, he will just wait until Joker is killed on the 20th of November anyway

He just kidnapped you after finding out that Joker is still alive

You revealed that you already knew about his true nature, to which he doesn’t deny

Considering you are in his palace where he doesn’t see you as a threat, you don’t get to use your persona as you aren’t transformed

You slowly start to lose your sanity with him but hold on

You never do, you died as Akechi was killed in Shido’s palace, so his palace disappeared as well

No one knew what happened to you, you are only declared as missing

[living4mybrazilianalpha]

Not so romantic seaside weekend (part one)

They had been chatting online for weeks but actually had never met.

The rendez vous was to take place for a full week end by the beach. The young Alpha had made his request very clear : full week end at his disposal, expecting to have a total sex slave and house servant. The middle age sub had turned crazy already just by chatting with the Alpha. The idea to be fully under HIS control for the week end had made it travel from far and it had been counting days up to that first night. It had booked a very nice and isolated bungalow on Airbnb. Far from the village, close to the beach, no neighbours… ideal for a “not so” romantic time together. They had exchanged on their respective kinks but the sub had quickly understood it would not be given much choice. The Alpha would decide and not accept much limits besides the usual « no permanent harm ».

By the exchanges they had (chats, pics, videos…) the sub knew a bit about the Alpha. A young Brazilian professional, hardworking as a gym coach and studying at the same time. If the sub had been first caught by the looks and kinks as it has to be on a bdsm app, the discussion had gone more personal at some point and they had build some reciprocal trust over the weeks. Not only the Alpha appeared a hot stud but also a pretty gentle person, caring for HIS family, committed to HIS job and looking for a life partner that would fulfill HIS fantasies. The sub had great pressure for that week end, expecting to fully satisfy the Alpha and go further in the relationship. The sub knew being a middle age random fuckhole, it was not that likely to convince such an amazing dominant and authoritarian Apollo. Its chance was to show total submisssion, accept evrything and let the Alpha have a great sex week end. No matter how demanding HE might be.

Few days before the Alpha set the first rule : a chastity cage at all time. The sub was eager about any order. It locked its useless small prick and sent pictures of it at any time the Alpha would ask.

By the day of the meeting the sub was so aroused. It was ready for anything. Little could it expect how badly it would turn.

The sub arrived early at the bungalow. It checked in and confirmed to the Alpha. Expecting HE would promptly joined as planned.

The answer was immediate by text message : “strip completely, put your leather collar and buttplug on and wait for ME on all fours on the terrasse”

The excitement went even higher. The sub was used to obey men but would usually start more casually. He would have preferred to have a first drink and chat but he was given no choice. Being a good submissive he also knew how important it is to please the Alpha at all time. he executed the orders. “Do I leave the front door open for you Sir ?” . “Yes faggot of course”

So there he was, naked, caged and plugged, on the back terrasse of an isolated bungalow on the Brazilian shore. Expecting an Alpha he had never met and that had made it clear how badly he would abuse its sub.

Hours passed. No news of the Alpha. The sub had no idea what time he would actually join and was starting to worry he might not.

Then came another text “blindfold on” and immediately after a voice message “I have set a challenge for you fag. Before I use you, you will have to service two local men i randomely selected on a dating app. They have seen all the pictures, videos and text you sent and they know how filthy and submissive you are. Be even better”

That was not expected. Dreaming of a muscular handsome young local Alpha, the sub was now to be used by whoever.

His ideas where all mixing in its small faggot brain : How would these two men turn out to be ? What if ? What if what ? You want to be fucked by your Alpha ? You go by his terms and conditions. And being blindfold you will not even get to know if you like their looks or not. Enjoy the cocks you ll be fed with and hope for the best …

The sub did not have to think too long, it heard the door being opened and steps coming towards it. Instinctively it raised its ass up in their direction, lowered its face on the floor and started to moan. It had been used randomly in the past and knew how to satisfy such men. His sucking skills were among the best of its town and its asshole had been well opened by the last hours of plugging.

The men will be satisfied whoever they are

(to be continued)

[maomao-words]

Here is another self-indulgent piece of writing!  (✿´‿`)

I binged Blue Lock’s manga in 3 days and I am now left with an empty void that I’m trying to fill by writing about my favorite characters in it.

On a side-note, I always seem to think of them as 18-19 years old. 

Contains few spoilers on some characters’ ranks after the Third Selection!

Being their Personal Manager at Blue Lock: (Itoshi Rin, Seishiro Nagi, Hyoma Chigiri)

Rin Itoshi:

Being assigned to the 1st ranker in all of Blue Lock immediately after your adaptability test barely shocked anyone. At this point in time where the whole existence of Blue Lock centered around Itoshi Rin, it was more than obvious that Rin would only receive the utmost care and the very best of the candidates as his manager.

Ranking first in the agonizingly harsh Entrance Exam and managing to out best all 600 other candidates from over the country, you were always the sole choice for Itoshi Rin’s personal manager.

You were already familiar with Rin’s character, preferences, weaknesses, strengths, diet and overall living style. You even had his body measurements down to the millimeter engraved in your brain. You thought yourself as perfectly ready to assist him in his endeavor, but reality soon proved you slightly wrong.

Meeting the genius called Itoshi Rin for the first time, you swore your blood ran cold within your veins the minute his eyes locked with yours. An oppressive aura, suffocating enough to send shivers down your back, surrounded you immediately the minute you stepped into his room. It took all of your willpower not to tremble in front of him.

Rin’s gaze did not move from yours for what seemed like an eternity, but noticing no visible signs of fear or submission on you, his lips slightly curved in a smirk and he finally stood up from his chair, discarding your test results on the table nearby.

“Not bad. She’ll do for now.”

Once you gained Rin’s initial approval, you started your mission as his closest aid. From the moment Rin opened his eyes to the minute he closed his door at night to sleep, you never left his side. You calculated his calories intake and planned his meals accordingly. You carefully reserved the training field and machines to Rin’s own wishes, making absolute sure they are available for Rin to use without any interruption or interference from other players. You planned, ran around, filled up water bottles and picked up emergency kits more quickly than you have ever did back in your own school’s competitive soccer club. You did that over and over again, to the point that you felt like dying. Until you finally broke down.

But being Itoshi Rin’s personal aid did not even offer you the privilege of breaking down in public. You waited until the day’s clamor and chaos was over. You meticulously prepared Rin’s lunch and reminded him to take the few tablets of vitamins afterwards before finally excusing yourself.

Rin raised a brow in faint confusion, as you have never willingly separated yourself from his side, even during meals. But the wound within your chest has finally festered to the point of no return, and you were unable to provide him with a convincing explanation before you gathered your papers and left.

The empty hallway located far from the center cafeteria soon echoed with your faint sobs. You gathered up your knees close to your chest and slowly rocked yourself in hopes of easing your pain. Weeks of harsh labor, zero communication with the outside world as well as the stress that came with handling all of Rin’s demanding responsibilities finally bled over.

You were not giving up. ‘Make no mistake,’ you whispered to yourself between sobs. You were just taking a much earned break before drying up your tears and returning to work.

But just as you began to feel frustrated at the tears still falling on your cheeks, you felt a heavy cloth fall on top of your head accompanied with an extremely familiar fragrance.

You jolted, hand coming up to clutch at Rin’s jacket before glancing up at the tall figure standing by your side. You opened your mouth but a round package slammed into your face next, leaving you to wince in pain.

“Eat that and let’s hurry back. I can’t find my black cleats.”

Rin’s voice echoed in the empty hall, forcing you to bring your attention to the melon bread he threw at you. Sounds of clothes rustling beside you made you look up again, only to find that Rin has sat down beside you, hand coming up to tug you closer to him.

Placing his palm on top of your eyes, Rin’s voice sounded as soft as ever as he whispered.

“Rest. I’m here.”

Seishiro Nagi:

As you stared down at your test results that have finally arrived after a long wait, you suddenly had the urge to cry out. 

Why him of all people?

Having extensively studied all of Blue Lock’s key players prior to passing the Entrance Exam as a manager, you were filled with admiration and respect to them and thus felt ready to be assigned to any of them. Any of them but Nagi Seishiro.

A beginning who did not even know the most basic of the basics on football yet somehow blessed enough to be labeled as a genius even among Blue Lock’s outstanding participants. That was Nagi Seichiro.

You abhorred geniuses. You abhorred how easily they reached their goals, how effortlessly they achieved their desires and how the entire world seemed to bow down in front of them. Becoming the personal manager of a hard working individual, like Isagi Yoichi for example, would have made you the happiest woman on the planet. To watch that individual sweat and toil, think and plan all of his minor actions in order to reach the pinnacle of his dreams through both talent and hard work and get to assist him in that process was the reason behind your entrance to Blue Lock.

So when the day where the eleven chosen managers entered the isolated towering building to meet the elite players ranking at the top of the whole project came, all you could taste was bitterness and rage in your mouth.

After Ego finished the basic introductions between managers and players, he gave the green light for you all to start performing your duties. As you began to collect your belongings that were delivered to you by the staff, you could see the tall figure of a young man approaching you from behind.

Without allowing Nagi the faintest chance to offer his help, you hoisted your luggage up with both hands and started walking towards the managers’’ sleeping quarters with only “I will be back shortly” thrown behind your back at the frozen Nagi.

A job was a job after all and you had no intention to slack off because of your personal dislikes. But you will be sure to maintain a professional distance from Blue Lock’s 6th ranker to avoid any unnecessary trouble.

Being Nagi’s personal manager was as hard as you have expected. Having to support a monster who does not cease to evolve with each passing day at a frightening pace would be considered had by anyone’s standards. But you were already aware of the heavy duties imposed on you from the start so you grinded your teeth and bared the pain. The only issue you seemed to have was, unsurprisingly, Nagi himself.

You have intended for your cold treatment the day you both met to be enough warning for the player. You wanted to perform your duties. Nothing less, nothing more. But Nagi seemed to have another idea on the relationship between you. 

He did not hinder your tasks nor act difficult on purpose to harm you, but he also made sure to greet you warmly each morning before plopping his large hand on top of your head and gently pat your hair for a few minutes before leaving.

He made sure to stick close to you during meal time, pushing off whatever he deemed not-tasty to your own plate, and innocently smiling when your try to scold him. He always shared his dessert with you, no matter how many times you tried to lie and tell him you disliked sweets. He constantly tried his best not to overburden you with questions on players and tactics and carefully chose the times where you were free enough to answer him.

In short, Nagi Seichiro was a weirdo. A weirdo you wanted to choke.

As the time went by, your perspective on Nagi was entirely transformed, despite yourself. You started to put extra care into his meals, go beyond what is required of you when it came to taking care of his training schedule and treatment and even sacrifice some of your free time in order to answer as much of his questions as you can.

One morning, as Nagi stepped in the room and smiled brightly at you, you found yourself moving in closer to him before raising your arms and catching him in a tight hug. Nagi almost stumbled in surprise, but managed to stable you both as he wrapped his hands behind your back. But before he could even utter a word, your mouth opened and a joyful, “Good morning Sei-chan!” came out.

Hyoma Chigiri:

“Are you sure you wish to be assigned to Chigiri?” Ego’s detached voice echoed in the almost empty hall, stopping you in your tracks. The results of the Blue Lock Entrance Exam for managers were just announced and the chosen eleven were asked to pack up and be ready to leave in a two-hours frame.

“You do realize that your rank actually qualifies you to become Itoshi’s Rin support, don’t you?” Ego’s fingers tapped on the table in a rhythmic manner, not stopping even as you glared at him.

“Yes, sir, I am well aware of that fact. But my decision will not change.” Your voice, calm and steady, caused Blue Lock’s host to grin, his raven locks falling to the side as he tilted his head to inspect you closely. “A calculative, rational and logical tactician as you, who managed to outrank all 600 other participants in a six hour long exam, is moved by mere personal emotions?”

It was hard for any regular person to detect the mockery dripping from each of Ego’s words and not feel their blood boiling within their veins. Only you slightly smirked at Ego, eyes curving in genuine mirth as you joyfully answered: “Yes! Is there any problem?”

All the struggles you have faced so far in order to reach this point were, after all, done for the sake of one person: Hyoma Chigiri. Specializing in medical treatment and athletic injuries as a manager was not a coincidence. You have long became aware of your intense desire to support Chigiri and aid him in his journey to achieve his dreams. No matter how many people laughed at you both, no matter how many criticized your choices and claimed you could do much, much better than an injured boy, playing on borrowed time, your resolve never shook.

As you finally locked eyes with Chigiri after your arrival at Blue Lock, you saw how his shoulders slightly trembled and his eyes widened, and your resolve was instantly renewed. Not many words were needed as you playfully extended your hand to shake Chigiri’s own. He was aware that you were there for him and that you will not change your mind no matter what he says or does.

Your duties at Blue Lock were slightly easier than your fellow managers simply due to the fact that you were already familiar with Chigiri’s routine. Needing no time to adjust, you dove head first into taking care of Chigiri, putting the well-being of his knee as your utmost priority. You tried your best not to bite your lips each time you bent down to take a look at the previously injured area, fully knowing that Chigiri has made his peace with the incident and was now focusing on moving on with no regrets.

Your favorite task to perform was, and still is, taking care of Chigiri’s silky hair. You were faced with his slightly damaged locks the day you arrived at Blue Lock’s building and Chigiri had to apologize a couple of times for ruining the hair you treasured the most. Ever since then, you returned to your usual task of picking hair products for him, drying and styling his hair depending on Chigiri’s schedule for the day. Braids were your go-to style but you also enjoyed changing things up, knowing that it made Chigiri happy each time you tried to come up with a new hairdo.

Now that you were finally reunited with your childhood friend and lover, you were ready to give it your all and see it all to its final end.

[realcube]

ONCE YOU’RE GONE

rq ♥ hello!! can i please request miya twins, sakusa, suna, akaashi x fem!reader an angst one. like they got into a heated argument each other. reader just had enough, maybe take a stroll and got into a deadly accident that cost her life/ memory loss or something. and the hq char regrets it

tw ♥ angst, hurt/comfort, breakups, disappearances, very vague implications of kidnapping, memory loss & injury 

a/n ♥ sorry i couldn’t think of anything for suna </3 

ATSUMU MIYA

♡ he’s never really been an overly religious guy

♡ yet everyday, he finds himself praying that you’ll come back 

♡ and before now, he considered himself a rather patient person, but every second you were gone was filled with anguish

♡ mostly because he knew it was all his fault

♡ nobody blamed it on him though, which only made him feel more guilty

♡ it was late, so he decided to walk you home from his house. hardly with your safety in mind though, just because he wanted to spend more time with you

♡ that was his first mistake

♡ his second was getting so defensive over his volleyball team

♡ he was talking about their recent loss to karasuno high, and how they were all devastated since they had been training for ages

♡ yet instead of comforting him, you simply replied, “maybe you should do things besides volleyball, if you’re getting so worked up about it.”

♡ but all he heard was you being condescending (though that genuinely wasn’t your intention) and telling him to give up something he is passionate about because of one little defeat

♡ you tried to explain that you honestly meant no harm by your statement but atsumu argued that the damage had already been done, hence your apology meant nothing to him

♡ realising that atsumu was just being pissy and taking his frustration at the game out on you, you distanced yourself; walking a few paces in front of him and plugging in your earbuds to tune him out

♡ after marching behind you for a few more yards, atsumu eventually decided that he was finished 

♡ in one swift motion, he turned on his heels and stomped back his house, leaving you to walk the rest of the distance yourself; that was his third mistake

♡ however, after walking for about half a mile, he got a newsfeed notification on his phone titled, ‘four people reported missing in hyōgo prefecture, in the last week.’

♡ it only took one headline for all atsumu’s previous emotions to be swept away and replaced with one that left him motionless; guilt

♡ he continued walking back to his home, reasoning that you clearing didn’t want him near you — anyone could tell by the way you walked in front of him and ignored him— so he must’ve made the right choice to leave you, since it’s what you wanted, after all

♡ and it’s not like y’all broke up or anything, he still loves you and hopes you are safe and to prove that, he apologised and texted you first 

♡ ‘hey, i’m so sorry i was i bit of a jerk earlier.’

♡ followed by ‘text me once you’re home.’  

♡ no response, simply read at 21:45 

♡ that was a week ago, yet he still wholehearted believed that you were going to come back

♡ though, deep down he knew he was just feeding himself the same line over and over again, just so that he wouldn’t feel guilty, and so that the sight of a volleyball stopped making him feel so sick and distressed

OSAMU MIYA

♡ he’s never felt such a sea of emotions at once before

♡ on one hand, he was just happy to see you alive and well; isn’t that all a lover should want?

♡ however, he didn’t have the honour of calling himself your lover anymore

♡ you didn’t remember anything from before the crash, which initially brought him a small tinge of relief, since you wouldn’t blame him for what happened

♡ however, you didn’t remember him at all

♡ so when he knelt by your bed and started apologising profusely, all you did which raise a brow and turn to the nurse, quietly — yet not discreetly — asking who the guy by your bed was

♡ he felt his hear tear apart at such a simple inquiry 

♡ however, instead of explaining himself, he got up and left, “nobody.”

♡ wanting to get it all off of his chest, he told atsumu about what happened, as if he didn’t know that his brother had the biggest crush on you during your whole relationship with osamu 

♡ and of course, upon hearing the news, atsumu ‘snuck out’ later to go visit you in hospital and presumably try to win your heart 

♡ though, there was nothing ‘sneaky’ about the way he loudly fumbled around with the car keys, or the way he tended to slam the door behind him — atsumu knew exactly what his brother was trying to do and although it pained him to even think of losing you, he let his brother pursue you anyway 

♡ he tried to protect you once and it resulted in you losing your memory, so god knows what would happen if he tried again

♡ plus, you were no longer his to protect, or at least that is what he tried to convince himself

♡ after months of daily visits from atsumu —and none from osamu — you were somewhat starting to gain your memory back 

♡ atsumu just seemed so.. familiar, and that was the single best feeling when you are so isolated 

♡ though, there was something off about him that you couldn’t exactly put your finger on, but he reassured you that it was because ‘seeing you hurt changed him as a man’ so of course he’s different from the way you ‘remember’ him

♡ years passed, and you continued dating atsumu in blissful ignorance of the events that happened before the accident

♡ you feel deeper in love with the atsumu you thought you knew and were forced away from osamu (who chose to remain single, he claimed it was to focus on his studies but he truly couldn’t find a second soulmate)

♡ it was only at your own wedding day were you finally able to see osamu once more, though you didn’t really interact with him much..

♡ until he objected during your vows, then, it was pretty hard to ignore him, especially since he appeared sober yet was claiming that you are his one true love, and he regrets ever leaving you 

♡ needless to say, the rest of the wedding definitely did not go as planned

KIYOOMI SAKUSA 

♡ he loved you; and he wished he had showed it more, now that it’s too late

♡ “sakusa,” you cooed, resting your head on his shoulder and offering him a plate of apple slices you cut yourself, while browsing the shows on TV, “what shall we watch tonight?” you inquired, but mostly to yourself since dating sakusa nowadays was similar to dating a literal rock 

♡ no response, as per usual

♡ well, on the bright-side, that just meant you’d get to watch whatever you wanted, unless sakusa spoke up, which he most likely would not 

♡ scanning through all your options, you decided to select some teen romance, coming-of-age movie that you knew sakusa would most definitely not enjoy, hence forcing him to say thing 

♡ however, instead of him reacting in accordance to your plan, he simply got up and left without another word

♡ something about the sight of him with his back turned to you, headed out of your house and back home with even a goodbye cleared your fogged mind and left one fact undoubtedly clear; you didn’t want to be with him anymore 

♡ and although you didn’t want to make assumptions, you surmised that he felt the same way; it was almost a certainty considering how distant he acted 

♡ so of course you cut it off that same night; yet when you proposed the idea of breaking up, sakusa became surprisingly defensive

♡ it was as if all of a sudden he realised how shitty he had been acting this whole time, and how his actions had effected you 

♡ you both yelled over the phone for hours, though it was hardly an ‘argument’, more like sakusa apologising profusely and making — what you believed to be — false promises, while you explained that you had just had enough 

♡ it ended with him almost screaming ‘i love you’, but you hung up on him too soon 

♡ he would never admit it, but he cried himself to sleep that night

♡ there was a part of him saying that he was just being overdramatic and you were nothing more than another lover that will enter and exit his life with the wind, but four years later, he still found himself getting butterflies upon catching a glimpse of you in the stands at one of games 

♡ despite the fact you were cheering for opposite team 

KEIJI AKAASHI 

♡ you two were the perfect couple

♡ study dates, sliding notes to each other during class, midnight strolls, endless support, dancing in the rain; it was like you were both living in your very own slice-of-life romance movie

♡ however, as they say, all good things must come to an end

♡ but for akaashi, that ending came too quickly

♡ “you can do it, i know you can!” that must’ve been the tenth time you’ve said that today, it was like your own inspirational mantra, yet akaashi didn’t seem to be endeared by it 

♡ “no, (y/n).” he repeated with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose as he began to guide you to the door, “it’s a silly dream. i probably shouldn’t have even mentioned it.”

♡ “it’s not silly!” you argued, throwing on your jacket as he made it increasingly clear that he didn’t want to continue this conversation, “it’s your dream! you can’t just keep complaining about school if you aren’t even going to try to pursue your passion.” 

♡ akaashi silently shook his head, “go.” it was harsh, but he could only deal with speaking about his work life for so long

♡ “you go.” you snapped, though knowing it wasn’t exactly the comeback of the century, but it summarised your feelings well enough, “i’ve honestly had enough of you. i hope--” 

♡ you cut yourself off at that; storming off before saying something you might regret 

♡ though furious, you really didn’t want things to end with him, you just hoped that maybe one day you’ll be able to have a civil conversation with him about what he wants to do in life 

♡ because he hides it well, but the more you got to know him, the more you noticed that he truly wasn’t happy in his studies, and you just wished he would do something about it or at the very least, let you help 

♡ and he knew this too; he knew it all too well yet still couldn’t bring himself to better his life, even once you were gone

♡ you were critically injured after the accident, and during your time in the hospital, you let akaashi see you once

♡ one visit was his chance to redeem himself, to apologise and help you both align your futures together 

♡ but all he could do was sit with you in radio silence

♡ thirty minutes passed and his mind was running on overdrive, yet he couldn’t think of anything to utter after ‘hello.’

♡ so he left 

♡ no apology, no redemption, to attempt, nothing.

♡ all he could say was that he left with a heavy heart, a heart filled with hope that one day he could return to you despite all the wrong he has done; though that seemed more unrealistic than his dream of playing profession volleyball

♡ he had truly lost his soulmate 

[animeyanderelover]

Hello again! Can I have prompt 46 with Ash? Tnx

Recently I told my friend that I had a lot of requests about him and she laughed about it. She doesn't really like him, but she gives him credit since he looks good.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, extreme paranoia, isolation, desperation, mentions of kidnapping,overprotectiveness, mentions of self-harm, Stockholm syndrome

Prompt 46: "Can I...can I kiss you?"

It was nothing less than a miracle that someone like you existed, someone who was cleansed from all the sins of this world and the corruption of humans. You were radiating with everything Ash had wanted for this world, a world that he wanted to give to you. It was the minimum from what she should and would do for you, it was his duty as your very own guardian angel. A role he was utterly dedicated too, devoted to his very own angel who forgave him his sins every time.

It was true, you had forgiven him his crimes already a long time ago as everything around you had started to fade away and you had lost count of how long exactly you had been stuck in here. Somewhere around one and a half years would be your expectation, looking on how the seasons had changed through the large and closed windows which symbolized your loss of freedom. But you didn't mind anymore.

You only needed and wanted Ash, your guardian angel.

There was clear tension in his body, you could feel how he stiffened up under your embrace. He had never really received that sort of affection before from anyone nor would he have ever wanted it from all those worthless lives walking around freely. You were the only person he actually wanted any sort of touches from. That was how pure you were, even causing someone like him craving something and falling victim to his own desires. And it was his own fault for being so weak-minded. He didn't deserve you yet letting you perish outside would be an even greater sin. He had to keep you safe.

"My Queen...what are you doing?"

Being able to keep his composure was important in front of you, though he remembered to have failed multiple times in the past already. Severe punishment was the only thing he could think of to atone for his failures for not being good enough, for proving himself to be so incredibly useless. Even now he could feel some unhealed wounds aching a bit, but you didn't have to know about his weakness and incompetence.

You blinked slightly confused up at him when he asked you such an obvious question, but it soon turned into slight giggling that instantly plunged Ash's heart into painfully warm emotions and forced his eyes to get wet. It had taken a while until you had been able to look so happy after he had quickly rescued you from all the evil waiting to devour you. The distress he had felt back then could never be put in words and no burns, knifes and broken bones had been able to make up for what you had been suffering under. Even now it remained as a anxiety deeply stuck in his heart. But looking at you now, smiling at him and not staring with wide eyes filled with fear at him, was worth much more than his whole life could ever repay you.

"I’m hugging you. It’s just that you always look so worried and stressed over my safety and never appear to take a rest. Just now you did as well so I thought this might help you a bit. A strong hug can be more worth than thousand words after all. That’s what my mother told me at least when I was younger.”, you replied softly, pressing your face deeper into his chest with a content look on your face.

There was nothing Ash could think of for a few moments, instead he seared the scene in front of him deep into his brain, how you were currently buried into his chest, looking so happy and peaceful. So stunning and precious.

Tears were quick to escape his eyes only seconds later, his insides stirring up with warmth that stung him and yet baked him with something he hadn’t felt in so long. Comfort and peace.

This was exactly why he had to protect you with his very own life, no one was allowed to snuff out the light you carried inside of you and that was able to even share it’s warmth with him. You possessed too much kindness to understand, but normal humans only destroyed what they touched, ruining it with their greed.

He wouldn’t let them do the same to you.

He would kill everyone who would even do as much as getting too close.

He just had to guarantee that you would live.

But first of all he had to calm himself down or otherwise he might worry you even more than he seemed to have done already. The tears were quickly wiped away with his sleeves before Ash was able to look at you again, still feeling like he wanted to continue crying. His heart felt like it might burst at any moment.

“You have so much warmth and love inside of you that I don’t think I deserve any of it. You shouldn’t even be concerned about me, I merely do what I have to do as your guardian. If you were to fall victim to this damned place, I would perish as well. What use is an angel who can’t even protect their chosen one?”

Pain was twisting his voice and face a bit when he dared to imagine how a world without you would be, a world filled with grief and darkness for him. Letting his guard down would be a fatal mistake, he had seen the worst of this world and the humans and he knew that it would happen again. That was why he had to be like this for you were his heart beating outside his chest. If something were to ever happen to you...

The angel hadn't even noticed that he had already started crying again, fist tightened and body shaking whilst getting lost in fears of losing the one good and bright thing this world had still left.

"But for me you're more than just a guardian angel. You're my angel and I want you to feel happy as well. I want you to feel loved as well. You do so much for me, but I feel like I only cause you stress and uneasiness. Shouldn't you be happy because of me?", you asked him in slight protest, feeling sadness whilst seeing the man you had come to love like this again because of you. You had never seen him truly relaxed nor had you ever been able to show him your feelings. He wouldn't let you, not thinking that he deserved you.

His reaction was instant, suddenly falling on his knees upon hearing from what you had said that he had disappointed you yet again, the visible look of your sorrow only stabbing his fear deeper into his very soul.

"I-I am so sorry! I didn't know that you felt this way only because I was so selfish to only think about myself like this! I don't deserve your forgiveness and accept any sort of-"

When he felt the soft sensation of your hands cupping his stained cheeks, he abruptly stopped his rambling, trying to not choke on his own breath that had gotten irregular.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I don't want to hear you saying such things about yourself. Don't you understand? I am unhappy whenever you are like this, seeing yourself as so worthless and not deserving of my love. That's what hurts me so much. You're rejecting my feelings. I love you, Ash. And I want to know if you do too. Because if you do, please stop talking like this and behave so distantly."

Your voice conveyed every bit emotion that was going on inside of you in that moment, something that Ash noticed with widened eyes as well.

Silence was cut short by him when he realized that you wanted something crucial from him which he would gladly give you. He had never considered that you would ever consider his love as something you wanted, consider him as someone you loved. When had been the last time someone had been truly kind to him and loved him? He couldn't remember anymore.

"Of course I do. You should never doubt my feelings for you. I love you more than you could ever imagine. It's impossible to function without you.", he managed to reply with a shaking voice as he grabbed both of your hands in his own.

"Then why are you acting like this? Everyone deserves someone who loves them. Without love it's a very painful life, isn't it? That's why I am hurting as well. Let me love you and I promise that you'll be able to feel peace as well.", you muttered slightly embarrassed out, leaning your head down so your forehead could rest against his own.

Slight sobs were starting to catch up to Ash as he was staring in pure awe at you.

"Thank you. I'll be better and make sure that I won't cause you sadness anymore.", he pressed out, tightening his grip on your hands only the slightest bit so he wouldn't hurt you.

"I'm glad to hear that.", you replied with a sincere smile on your face, joy stirring your heart up just by seeing that for the first time since he had abducted you, Ash was looking relieved and less tense. He just looked extremely grateful.

"May I ask you for a favor then?", you requested with a certain idea in mind.

"I'll do anything for you.", Ash replied, sounding very emotional.

"I want to do something for you for once since you normally do anything for me."

Hesitation and clear dislike instantly shadowed his face, the thought of him asking something from you going against Ash's belief in all the wrong ways. You shouldn't have to do him favors.

"It doesn't have to be something difficult. It can be a really simple thing. Just...something that I can do for you this once. Please.", you begged slightly, seeing the angel already struggling. You knew how he felt about such things, he hated letting you do something for him and he had never done it before either. Ash saw it only upon himself to serve you which was another thing that sometimes made you feel guilty. You wanted to do more for him as well.

"Can I...can I kiss you?"

Maybe that had been more a slip of his tongue, but he had been slightly panicking since hadn't want to sadden you again nor had he wanted you to do physical work for him. It was supposed to be the other way around.

So when he had stared for a moment at your face, eyes locked on your lips, he had considered somewhere deep in his mind possibilities which he had been fantasizing about a few times before, but hadn't thought that they would actually have a change of happening.

In his opinion they were still sinful, it would take a while for him to get used to the idea that you wanted to receive physical affection and love from him. The first impulse when he realized what he had said was instantly apologizing, only to be interrupted before he could even start saying anything.

You had already leaned down to fulfill him his wish before he could take it back again.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[unloved-cadillac]

Hi i have a request i was wondering if you could do a oneshot of levi x reader where the reader was in a relationship with reiner before finding out he was the armored titan and after they find out the reader is so heartbroken and distraught that they start to isolate, harm themselves and not eat as much but levi would always try and help them feel better by talking with them and being with them & slowly they both start to fall for each other and he helps them get better

C/n: ah my two men. Love it. Thanks for requesting and I hope that you enjoy🤍

——————————————————————————

Time Heals. (Reiner x Reader; Levi x Reader)

Love didn’t exist in the Survey Corps. At least that’s what you thought. There was no time for those type of things when your lover could be snatched away by the hands of a Titan at any time. But then you met Reiner Braun. The boy who showed you how to love and how to live life. He was so charming and so handsome, it didn’t take long for you to fall in love.

You felt like you belonged together. After the titans would disappear, you wanted to marry Reiner and to build a family with him. Everybody loved the two of you together, except his two closest friends for some reason.

But it didn’t bother you. As much as you wanted to befriend Annie and Bertholdt, they always ignored you. So you respected their decision and left them alone.

When Annie revealed herself as the Female titan, everyone was shocked. Rightfully so. Reiner faked sadness and you held him in your arms as you tried to calm him down. You thought it was a big betrayal to him and all you wanted to do was be there for him.

~~~~

“You’re just tired. That’s it, right?” You heard Eren speak to Reiner and Bertholdt as everyone began their journey back home. You stood with Armin and Mikasa when you saw Reiner unravel his bandage and the steam emitted from him. “What the..?” You mumble and as you began to walk to him, Mikasa sliced Bertholdt’s throat and got Reiner.

Everything happened so fast. Literally in a flash, Reiner and Bertholdt turned into the monsters that broke down the walls. Reiner quickly looked at your shocked face and teary eyes before the Armored Titan took over him.

Reiner grabbed Eren and jumped off the wall and all you could do was scream. Reiner..was the Armored titan? After all these years..everything you’ve been through...he was a traitor. A liar. He lied about everything. Did he perhaps lie about his love for you too? Hange held you as you balled your eyes out for him. The man you loved. How did everything change in a span of a few seconds?

Apparently everything.

~~~~

After Reiner left, you were broken. So many lives were lost, including your commander’s and due to that you had to get interviewed by the Military Police, Hange and your Captain. It was all the same questions and you gave the same answers. It was clear to everyone that you just couldn’t handle this pressure and this betrayal. Especially to Levi.

By the time you were interviewed by him, he saw how sick and distraught you looked. Your eyes developed eye bags that were black, your cheeks went in and you just...didn’t look good.

Levi kept it short and then dismissed you. For the next week, no one heard from you.

~~~~

Everyone was uneasy with the state you were in. No one had seen you come out of your room or train. Not even your closest friend, Jean, could see you.

When Jean returned to the table of the Levi squad, they all picked their heads up hoping he got through to you. He shook his head and sat down, defeated.

“Tch.” Levi scoffs and wakes up to go to your room. He gave all of your friends the chance and respected your privacy but now it was his turn. Levi felt really uneasy not seeing your smiling face around base and not hearing your voice that made everyone’s day a bit better.

He stood in front of your door and knocked. No answer. He knocked again and no reply. So using the keys he had, he unlocked your door and looked inside to see you on the floor.

He ran to you and leaned down to your face. You were breathing but by the looks of it, not merely enough. Your arms had slits and bruises and Levi acted fast. He lifted you into his arms and ran to the medical center where he was met by Hange.

Hange looked so confused but then looked at Levi who said: “just help them.”

~~~~

You woke up to bright lights and a white room where you were certain that this isn’t your room. You looked at your hands to see them wrapped in bandages and an IV connected to you.

“Good. You’re awake.”

You look to your left to see your captain sitting on a chair, cross-legged and furious. “C-Captain Levi. Why am I here?” You ask, your voice scratching your throat as you got used to using it again. “Because I found you passed out on the floor with cuts and bruises all over your body. Care to explain?”

You look down, trying to avoid his piercing gaze when you began to cry. “I’m easy.” You say softly and Levi leans closer. “What do you mean?” You look up at him and something in Levi pinched his heart. He did not like seeing you like this.

“I’m easy to abandon. Easy to forget and easy to leave. Reiner was my everything but to him, I was nothing. Did he even mean it? When he said he loved me? He left me without even trying to explain. I would’ve listened, Captain. Hear what he had to say because I loved him and that’s what you do for the people you love.” You put your face into your hands and cried. Levi exhaled and sat closer to you.

Gently, he took your hand and held it. “You’re not easy, Y/n. Reiner was a shit and traitor to everyone. He...,” he pauses for a moment, “he doesn’t deserve your love anymore.” You look at your Captain who, a few months ago, only shot orders to you but here he was, assuring you and comforting you.

You hold his hand a bit tighter and he looks at you. You give him a small smile as he blinks at you. “So, Y/n,” he lets go of your hand and clears his throat, “you’re under my care from now on. I’m going to make sure get back on your feet and eat properly.” He gets up and begins to walk to the door.

“Captain?” You call and he turns and looks at you.

“Thank you.”

Levi nods and walks out of the room and smiles to himself. He will help you. No matter what.”

~~~~

Throughout the weeks, Levi helped you to eat and to attend to your wounds. His normally rough hands were gentle and soft as he held your arms to wrap your bandages. He would sit next to you while you two ate to make sure you did. He wouldn’t leave you until you are everything.

When you would wake from your nightmares, Levi was the first one you would call. It started off with him just staying in your room until you fell asleep, but then that changed to him sitting next to you on the bed, then it was him settling next to you and you clinging to his shirt as his arms wrapped around you.

Levi had asked you what had interest you so you could get your mind of everything and you told him that you liked to read. So in the library, you showed Levi the books you enjoyed reading and he watched you blabber on about the stories. Your hair got in your face and without thinking, he brushed it away from your face and you froze.

“O-Oh. Sorry. I should’ve asked.” Levi whispers and you shake your head. “No, it’s okay. Thank you.” You say and you both look down, embarrassed. You flicker your gaze over to Levi who was still looking down at the book as if it suddenly became so interesting.

“Captain?” He looks at you, annoyed.

“Y/n..”

You chuckle at him.

“Sorry. Levi, may I ask you something?” You ask and he nods, facing you. You gulp slightly and face him properly. You played with your hands and tried To find your words but it only made you look super anxious. Levi reached over and held your trembling hands, making you look back at him.

“What is it?” He asks, voice soft and gentle. You see his eyes look at your lips and your eyes.

“May I kiss you?”

His lips part in shock but then it’s replaced but a small smile. “Do what you want.” You chuckle and lean in, laying a kiss on his lips. You thought Levi would pull away, but he pulled on your hands which made you stay on him. For a first kiss, this one wins.

You pulled away from him and smiled brightly. Probably the brightest Levi ever saw. You leaped into his arms and he held you close. “I love you Levi. Thank you for everything.” You whisper and he ruffles your hair. “I love you too, Y/n.”

Although you and Levi got together, the thought of Reiner still invaded your mind. Finally, after hearing what Eren was going to do through his letters, it was finally time to move on.

~~~~

“Levi?”

“Hmm?”

“We’re gonna see him soon.”

Levi turns to face you on your shared bed and you laid on your back, staring at the ceiling. “Hey.” He calls and places his arm around your waist and you turned towards him. “It’s okay. I’m here. He’s not going to hurt you ever again.” He promises and kisses your forehead. You snuggle under his neck and hold him close.

You ended up going undercover with Jean and you saw Reiner with a few kids and other soldiers. He did not look good. At all. Sometimes, you stood right in front of him and when he saw you, you turned and walked away, swapping places with a common villager. You made him think he was insane.

But the next day, you stood watching Reiner fight Eren and when he caught sight of you, his movements faltered. You changed. You weren’t the person he fell in love with anymore. You weren’t the person who screamed and cried as he transformed in front of you anymore. You weren’t the personwho would hold him as he faked his depression anymore.

You weren’t his anymore.

He saw the ring on your finger and he widened his eyes. “Y/n?” He says and you shake your head. Eren continues attacking him and soon everyone was aboard the plane.

“Didn’t you want to talk to him, Y/n?” Jean asks as you wraps an arm around your shoulders. “No. Nothing he can say will ever make me forgive him. But through time, I healed from his betrayal. Besides,” you turn and look at Levi who was swearing Zeke.

“I’m happy now.”

——————————————————————————

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.

[kaypeace21]

The ‘parentification’ of Jonathan Byers (psych analysis)

“Parentification is defined as the phenomenon where children take caregiving responsibilities (acting as a parent)  for their parents, siblings or other family members, at the expense of their own developmental needs.”

When can parentification occur?

1) After a “Divorce”   

“If there is more than one child in the family, usually the eldest, is “chosen” to be parentified .When a father-figure is missing, it may be the eldest son who is forced to take on his father's responsibilities.”

2) When there’s a “parent with a mental illness “

3)“Parental alcoholism or drug addiction.” (lonnie’s place covered in beer cans could allude to this).

4) “siblings with a mental illness’

5) “Death of a sibling or parent” (  This point is kind of cheating - but the fact Jon as a 15 y old had to plan a funeral, for his little brother instead of either one of his parents just illustrates how he always was forced to do adult duties much too young.)

6) “mothers of low socio-economic status, are frequently associated with parentification of their children. “

“given the fact that there are many single parent families, it falls upon children from some of these homes to carry adult responsibilities while their parent is out working. Often, in these situations, the parent is asking or expecting the child to take on adult responsibilities in their absence. They become the parent of the household in the interim between coming home from school and when the parent returns to the household.”

***TO MAKE THINGS VERY CLEAR: we are NOT hating on Joyce, here! “The harm of parentification is usually done not out of malicious intent. However, when a child who is supposed to go through their natural cycles of development and self- evolution,  is forced to grow up too quickly, there is a cost.” But, Joyce did what she had to do being a poor single mother - she had to work! Even when Lonnie was around- he had debts. And Joyce apologized to Jon for not being around when they were growing up (working since he was 5)- and she even mentioned working Hollidays . But at the end of s1, we see her celebrating Christmas eve with them (showing she’s trying to have a better work life balance for her kids and prioritize them more).  I think Will’s disappearance gave Joyce a wake-up call of sorts about what she values most-her kids.She loves her kids more than anything- and  would never intentionally do any harm. She has to work for all of them to survive and stay together. But it did force Jon to be parent to Will in her absence (especially cause Lonnie even when around wasn’t much help).

And in s3 it’s hinted Joyce plans to be there for her kids on Thanksgiving and Christmas- so she is trying to rectify past behaviors. Ok with that out of the way,  now we can continue...

 Types of Parentification 

“Parentification can either be emotional or instrumental, or both.”

“EMOTIONAL PARENTIFICATION : is when the child becomes a source of constant emotional support to their parent or sibling.Emotional parentification often involves a child or adolescent taking on the role and responsibilities of confidant, secret keeper, or emotional healer for family members.”

“ Parentification can also be the the process of role reversal where a child is obliged to act as parent to their own parent. Examples being: Listening to a parent talk about their problems.Serving as a confidante for their parent or providing emotional comfort and support to a parent.”

  “In cases of INSTRUMENTAL PARENTIFICATION: children take on practical responsibilities such as:Taking care of siblings or other relatives because a parent is unable to. Assuming housekeeping duties, such as cleaning, cooking,  grocery shopping. And Paying bills and attending to other household tasks .”

“ It’s good for kids to have responsibilities such as chores around the house or babysitting for a younger sibling. Responsibilities should increase when a child becomes a teenager to prepare them for being on their own eventually. However, when a young child is responsible for , paying the electricity bill, or raising a younger sibling, that is when problems arise.”

“Imagine a child who is bombarded every day with the responsibilities to tuck in sisters or brothers, or read them bedtime stories; organize drinks or food, wash up dishes, pay bills, or a myriad of housework. When burdened with that many responsibilities, self-care tends to go out the window. If the child continues to attend school, they may be withdrawn, unkempt, and visibly exhausted.”

“The effects are worsened and more destructive for the development of the child, the more the care-giving efforts of the child become a normalized expectation.“

 We see this in Joyce berating Jon for not parenting Will, properly (although her being upset was somewhat reasonable). But ,we also see this in how Joyce  says Jonathan has “always been good at taking care of himself.” Assuming Jon is ok, when he’s actually not. While Lonnie simply insults Will saying “he was never good at taking care of himself.”  The difference being Joyce criticizes Jon for not relying on her more. While Lonnie critiques Will for simply acting like a child and not being self-reliant, like Jonathan. Pretty heavily hinting, Lonnie even when around did very little parenting and expected the kids to take care of themselves. And since Will didn’t ‘take care of himself’ - it probably put the load on Jonathan to parent Will (when Joyce wasn’t around, even when Lonnie was physically there).

Consequences of Parentification

“ It is expected that complicated relationship patterns will develop between siblings.  The parentified sibling can often develop a symbiotic, codependent relationship with their siblings.”

“These people are very likely to find themselves in similar relational patterns in adulthood. They believe they must serve, help and rescue everyone in need. As adults, they may find that they have a confused sense of self-identity beyond the helper role. The only way they learned to relate, was through being of service and providing caregiving- so it is extremely possible that they have to be the primary caregivers for their own romantic partners . Since they never learned anything different. “

“ The ‘helper role’ might have dominated their entire being. Their sense of self did not get fully developed before they were needed to care for others, so as a result, they don’t know who they are except when they are doing things for others. “

“Parentified children can become very angry people. Sometimes this adult child may not know why they are angry . They can have explosive anger or passive anger, especially when someone triggers their parental wounds of emotional exploitation.”

“Parentified children inevitably develop a distorted image of what love is supposed to be like, thereby growing up to be quite distrustful of interpersonal relationships overall.Complicated attachment patterns emerge as a result. An avoidant attachment style is not unlikely. In the absence of a nurturing provider of safety and care, the parentified child may have learned to utterly depend on themselves alone- thereby avoiding close bonds and intimacy in adult life.intimacy is both craved for and avoided, both a longing and a great threat. Underneath this facade, they are quite lonely.”

This is similar to Jonathan not having friends, ‘not liking most people’, having ‘trust issues’ caused by Lonnie (that caused distrust of Bob, a father-figure) and simply being afraid to talk to people in general. Or joyce calling out Jonathan saying “you act like you’re all alone in this world. But your not.”

‘They also tend to blame themselves for everything that goes wrong, and constantly try to fix things that cannot be fixed.’

“The child may appear highly capable to tend for themselves and others, very mature for their age, resilient and even wise beyond their years- but they lack the safe haven of a secure attachment figure that is vital for the development of emotional regulation.”

A parentified teenager or younger child may exhibit the following symptoms:

-”Anxiety”

Like... this hurt my soul!  His face dropped the second Nancy left the room.He probably has anxiety but looks up to Joyce for trying to still be a good mom and keep it together. Why he said “WE’LL be okay” cause his mom is  “tough”.  He tries to lead by her example. But unlike Joyce, Jon probably always had to keep it together- even if struggling with similar anxiety issues as Joyce. Because he knew they both couldn’t act that way and “shut down” (for Will’s sake). He always had to put on a fake ‘grown-up’ front and keep the family together and help support Joyce and Will emotionally and finacially . And someone (unintentionally) saying the reason he’s like his mom is not because of her positive traits but because of her mental illness- must have HURT! Especially cause he’s probably already struggling with anxiety-  and maybe even fears acknowledging it. Because he’s supposed to have it ‘all together.’ “The identity of parentified children actually depends on their ability to suppress their needs. Since it is likely that their family already had too many problems to cope with, and so they learned to be quiet, voiceless and without demands. In order to be a ‘proper helper’ .“

And it probably doesn’t help he’s afraid it could escalate into something worse. Because in s1 they mentioned Joyce’s aunt having hallucinations. And jonathan even says to hopper “she used to have anxiety problems. I’m worried it could be ... I don’t know.” So yeah , Nancy saying him and Joyce have the same anxiety problems probably terrified him.

-”Depression”

-”Inability to trust others (we covered that) and or social isolation.”

-”Compulsively overworking in order to fulfill responsibilities at school and at home.”

-”Feelings of guilt and shame.”

“Fortunately, there are many healing processes and routes to wholeness and recovery for a young adult or adult who has been parentified as a child.Acknowledgment of your past is the first step to healing and recovery (via therapy or other means). You have to accept the truth of your story. Because, if you continue to live in denial, your mental energy will be spent in suppressing the pain that was there, rather than healing what needs to be healed. Being highly self-reliant was your only option in your household , but it may be a strategy that no longer works for you. It keeps you in isolation and unable to connect with others. Therefore, challenging yourself to connect with others authentically would also be considered one of the most potent ways to heal. The thoughts, feelings, impressions, and emotions buried within are waiting to be heard, once and for all.  “

Alright, thanks for listening I hope you enjoyed.  I really wanted to do a psych analysis strictly based on what the show presents. Rather than inclusion of the s4 movies. I did mention how those movies did allude to Jonathan’s parentification, here (if interested though). I also didn’t go into the hints in the narrative of Lonnie possibly being s****lly abusive to Jonathan cause it’s a bit more speculative ( I did talk about it in my DID psych analyses pt 1 & pt 2 though). Only mentioning it here, at the end, since one of the causes of parentification is also a parent s****lly ab*sing their kids (quite literally stripping their kids of their entire childhood in every way imaginable- and frankly the worst way possible). Regardless,I think most people neglect Jonathan as a character- and the s4 movies hint we’ll finally get more focus on him in the upcoming seasons. So I wanted to dedicate a post to some of Jonathan’s issues that may get more attention in later seasons.

[xaibaugrove]

Everyone in the Krew is Problematic

I was inspired to go on this rant by someone who recently brought up a question in a server I’m in, asking why so many people in the fandom seem to hate Mako and Makorra and why. This wouldn’t be the first time I defend Mako and it most likely won’t be the last, but it might be the first time I tear him and everyone else in the Krew down in the process, only to bring them back up. Hear me out though.

I think I’ve totally accepted that a lot of people in this fandom will always hate Mako and that I will have to perpetually defend him, I understand that this is the relationship I’ve chosen with this world. But what I still will never understand are the reasons why people hate/dislike him because compared to how much they love other characters in the Krew who honestly aren’t that much better than him (in some cases, even worse!), it doesn’t make any sense.

Let me also preface this by saying, I love these characters with all my heart and soul, probably more than I should love fictional characters, but this is the life I live and with that being said, I am going to tear them apart just to prove a point. Okay, here we go.

MAKO

Most of his detractors list the usual criticisms, which are valid when isolated. He cheated on Asami, he lied to Korra, he was a terrible boyfriend and essentially he treated the women he claimed to love or care about horribly. Gee, it’s almost like the man was a teenager with no experience in having long-lasting, healthy relationships and was raised in the streets by gangmembers while doing anything to survive and provide for his younger sibling after seeing his parents killed right in front of him and suddenly being orphaned…

I think Mako has been torn down enough, so I won’t get too deep into the tearing down part for him. It really does baffle me how someone can claim to be woke and not comprehend how someone coming from poverty could possibly be a product of their environment. Like, does everyone think that poor people automatically have hearts of gold and turn out like Little Orphan Annie? Why are people surprised that when someone has a shitty life, they might do shitty things?

Also, sooo many people love Zuko, who actively tried to cause harm to Aang, Katara and Sokka numerous times, and sympathize with his troubled past. But like, sure Zuko had an abusive father and his mother peaced out of his life for whatever reasons but at least he had his uncle. Mako had his parents for maybe 8 years before they were murdered in front of him and then had...no one for the next 10 years? Except for Bolin, sure, but no other parental figure in his life. Dude literally had to become him and his brother’s own parent and joined a gang to survive, and after all that, the worst he does is acts as a bad boyfriend toward Korra and Asami and he is instantly thrown to the wolves. Something doesn’t add up. It’s just...I don’t get it.

Yes, the way he treated people was bad, but people can grow? That’s a thing humans can do. And he was a teenager, my god. No, we cannot allow our past to be an excuse for how we treat others, but we have to be aware that there is a growth process to being human. And being human in and of itself, isn’t pretty. You think Mako is problematic? Don’t get me started on your fave.

KORRA

Ok, I love this woman to death but she is ridiculously problematic. She pursued someone in a relationship and essentially forced Mako to cheat on Asami by kissing him against his will, that’s already pretty awful and shows a lack of empathy on her part, also kissing people without their consent is no bueno. But also I just have to say it for the people who might not know this. One of the fundamental reasons why Makorra didn’t work was because KORRA WAS ABUSIVE. Okay? It wasn’t just that Mako was inadequate at relationships and didn’t know how to people, it wasn’t that she was secretly confused and wanting Asami the entire time (biphobia at it’s best) one of the main problems in the pairing was that Korra was crazy abusive towards Mako. Seriously, why don’t I see this more often in those discussions??

If we need examples, I have dozens. Honestly, it’s really easy to see how terrible Korra was to Mako, I’d actually argue that she treated him worse than he treated her. I mean, they were both terrible to one another, but in Korra’s case she went through the motions of being completely infatuated with your first teenage crush, getting with said crush, then crashing and burning once you realize that you have no idea how to treat a romantic partner so after the butterflies wear off you subject them to all the wonderful aspects of your anger issues. Not only did she scream at Mako during every argument they had, she also threatened him with bodily harm if she got really angry. Remember how their relationship crashed and burned in Book 2? Here are the things that Korra did during that time. Let me reiterate, this was not okay.

Mako is visibly shaken by this!

This woman burst into her boyfriend’s place of work and violently kicked his desk out from in front of him with all his coworkers present. That is not normal behavior. That is a red flag. And after she came back, had amnesia or whatever and forgot they broke up after that scene, let’s not forget that Mako was legitimately Afraid to break up with her again. Korra made her partner frightened that they might suffer bodily harm if they upset her. Again, and I can’t stress this enough, this is not okay!

The little scene in Book 3 when Korra is lifting Mako like 100 feet off the ground with airbending while he’s screaming in fear just to make Asami laugh is cute, right? I’ll admit, I loved that little moment too, it’s one of the only instances of Korrasami development that we got, but also, there were sooo many things wrong with that scene lol. Not only does Korra terrify Mako for literally no reason, it’s also sort of just her continuing to exercise some degree of power over him for her own amusement. Almost like a subtle reminder to him saying, “I am stronger than you in every way and I can break your femur like a twig if I wanted to… but I won’t, so look how much fun we’re having!”

Now of course, there are reasons why Korra acts like this. She was isolated for almost her entire life and never learned how to treat people and be around people. The Avatar is human because they must live amongst the people they protect and that helps them develop empathy and cherish life. The White Lotus deprived her of that fundamental aspect of her duty as the Avatar and it showed throughout the beginning of the series. Clearly, she was young, didn’t see how her actions could negatively affect others and hurt the feelings of not just her partner but also friends and family (she was really awful towards a lot of people in her life!). But as the series went on, we see her having less outbursts and learning to control her temper more.

One can only assume that she does not have the same behavior with Asami because for one, I don’t think Asami would play that shit, she seems like she would electrocute a bitch in a heartbeat and not hesitate if needed, but also Korra is not the same shitty partner she used to be as a teenager. Again, kids do stupid things. Adults do stupid things. And we learn and we grow. Korra will probably make some more mistakes in her relationship with Asami. I don't think anyone can have one bad relationship and suddenly learn all the lessons they can from it and have a perfect one the next go around. I can totally picture Korra losing her temper and raising her voice at Asami if she gets frustrated and forgets who she’s dealing with. Managing anger issues is hard, I know this from experience, and it doesn’t magically get easier. Of course, if Korra does pop off, Asami would definitely put her in her place because she’s a bad bitch who doesn’t take anyone’s shit, next character.

ASAMI

You know her, you love her, you fantasize about her and you probably have her on your list of fictional characters you would totally bang if you had the chance (I know I do), yes, even your best girl is problematic. It’s interesting to me that a lot of people sympathize with Asami and very few openly criticize her (so few that I’ve never seen anyone say a bad thing about her). What’s there to criticize though? The poor girl was cheated on by Mako, had her feelings disregarded by Korra, who claimed to be her friend but pursued her then-boyfriend behind her back and then made up for it by simping for her for the rest of her life? Also her mom was murdered when she was just 6 years old, her father threatened to kill her once and physically abused her, then died right after they started repairing their relationship, essentially making her an orphan at the ripe age of 22. Suffice it to say, Asami has been through it.

So, how could she be problematic, you ask? Why, of course, through the classic Bryke technique of romance progression in storylines called Kissing People Without Their Consent

To be honest, I did gloss over this with Korra, simply because there were sooo many other issues with that woman and I just couldn’t go through every single one in as much detail but that doesn’t negate how serious this whole sneak attack kissing thing is. Sure, Asami is very emotional and lonely and sort of desperate too, (it's a little sad, really) but Mako is clearly uncomfortable and completely caught off guard by the kiss. This is also the second time this happens to him in the series! There are a couple factors that might contribute to why Asami does this and acts this way, maybe Korra’s general awfulness rubbed off on her (don’t make a dirty joke) but this is still wrong.

AND that’s...pretty much it. Kissing people without their permission is a big no no, though. Not wanting to gloss over that, but Asami really is a good person who just did a not-so-great thing. Getting burned by Mako twice probably made her a little less inclined to be as forward with anyone though, and it looks like she now takes her time and is patient in her relationship with Korra. It even seems like Asami is the only person Korra is afraid to upset, as Korra does seem more gentle and calm when around her. And who knows? Maybe Asami living a life where a majority of the time she got whatever she wanted when she wanted it might have also influenced her to be more assertive or even imposing within her relationships.

If anything, those three fools getting into relationships with each other just showed how not ready they were to be in relationships in the first place and also how not okay they were.

BOLIN

Originally I titled this as “Everyone in the Krew is problematic (except Bolin)” but then I remembered that Bolin totally kissed a woman without her consent so I deleted the shit out of that!

This asshole looks genuinely pleased with himself after essentially assaulting Ginger. Not a good look.

Sure, Bolin is baby. He will always be baby to me. But that does not erase the fact that he also actively supported a fascist dictator. Not only was the kissing without consent thing bad, but there’s also that. No matter how many times people around him warned him about the fact that he was on the wrong side of things, that he was helping someone who was putting people into concentration camps...Bolin wanted to believe the best of Kuvira. He ignored obvious signs that the woman was a dictator committing human rights violations like crazy and you know, there’s gotta be a reason for that too.

Maybe Bolin wanted to feel like he was doing something good for once. When you think about it, with his role as the comic relief in the Krew, and sort of constantly being infantilized by his older brother, I wouldn’t be surprised if the man developed some insecurity in his ability to do anything good or useful for anyone without screwing it up in some way. In Kuvira’s army, it seemed like he was actually taken seriously, he felt like he was doing something that mattered. Korra had being the Avatar, Asami had her business and mindblowing philanthropy (honestly, her ability to be as charitable as she is profitable is insane) and Mako had his police work (ACAB, tho). Bolin had...the role of being a joke. A superficial actor. A former pro-bending meathead.

Bolin lived his entire life following after his brother that once they were adults and Mako finally decided to live his own life for once, it left Bolin completely lost. And lost young men are perfect recruits for fascists.

So, in conclusion, my whole reasoning behind destroying the integrity of my favorite characters is to prove a huge point. All of these characters are problematic. They have flaws, some bigger than others (looking at you, Korra. Just...wow), but ultimately, even if your fave is problematic... that’s okay. A lot of people, mostly younger people it seems, are really obsessed with being right about everything that they do and stan. And that’s a wonderful thing, so much change has come about by the younger generations calling out people who do fucked up shit, don’t want or try to improve, and get away with it. But it’s also caused a lot of people to be unforgiving and completely unwilling to acknowledge when people do improve and try to be better.

Personally, I love my problematic Krew because having issues that you’re constantly working on internally is human. It’s human to make mistakes, it’s human to grow from those mistakes. And it’s inspiring to me, who is wholly imperfect, to see myself reflected in fictional characters who aren’t perpetuating unrealistic ideals of human nature, characters who are messy, crazy and ultimately human.

As one of my favorite manga artists and queen of impeccable character creation Rumiko Takahashi once said:

“I think that perfect people are not very interesting.”

And I will always wholeheartedly agree.

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

It was all a Lie

Possessive Father Shawn Mendes x Male Reader x Boyfriend Tom Holland.

(couldn’t come up with a good title. also why does Tom look sick in the photo I picked?) 

Shawn is 32. You and Tom are 19. 

Warnings: Not that many. slight yandere behavior. 

Summary: your name is M/n Mendes and you are the son of Shawn Mendes. You thought he was like any other dad, but that changed when you turn 13. He began to tell you not to play with your friends and how they didn’t care about you. He began to isolate you so you could depend on him. Now you are 18, and your father’s obsession grew. But what he doesn’t know is that you have a boyfriend and his name is Tom Holland. 

M/n: Male Name

Word Count: 1110

Not a Poly-relationship by the way!

Hope you enjoy it!

this was rushed because tomorrow I have school. 

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DISCLAIMER: I MEAN NO OFFENSE, DISRESPECT, OR HARM TO ANY OF THESE CELEBRITIES! THIS IS JUST FICTION.

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MINORS DNI. FEMALE READERS… I’LL ALLOW YOU TO READ MY FICS BUT DO NOT FETISHIZE ANY OF MY STORIES

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I was walking with my boyfriend, Tommy, (Tom Holland). We were just messing around, he would sometimes flirt with me and I would flirt back. “Hey, why doesn’t your father know about us?” he said in his deep sexy British accent. 

“Well….” you paused before telling him. “Let me tell you from the beginning…. Are you sure you want to hear this?”

“Yes, I wanna know.” 

“Well… I grew up without a mother, and… my father was always there for me... but that changed when I turned 13. He began to isolate me from other kids, he would always tell me that, “You don’t need friends. They’re just going to leave you in the future and that you should depend on me.” Tom was politely listening to your story. 

“I, of course, didn’t take it seriously but when I turned 18, he began to ground me for hanging out with my friends. And now that you’re my boyfriend, he’s going to flip out, and probably going to tell us to break up,” you said while looking down not wanting to look in his eyes. 

You felt Tom grab your hand and pull you in for a hug. “Don't worry M/n, I won’t allow him to tear us apart! I love you M/n,” he said pulling you in for kissing. Little did you know, someone was looking through the window with anger.

You both parted ways. and you walked up to the front door. You waved goodbye and Tom blew a kiss. You giggled at him. 

When you walked in, you saw your father looking at you. He had an expression you couldn’t explain. But the main thing you noticed was that he was fuming. You could see smoke coming out of his ears. 

“Who was that boy?!” he asked, well… more like yelled and demanding. You didn’t feel like dealing with him so you just ignored him and walked upstairs to your room. You could hear him yelling at you to come back down. 

You locked your door and push hopped onto your bed. Exhaling after a long day. You could hear the car engine starting through the thin walls. You look out the window and see Shawn pulling out and driving away. 

This always happens, whenever you two get in an argument, he just goes somewhere. You, of course, don’t know where he goes because you’re not allowed to leave the house once you returned from school.

Time Skip (Only 10 minutes)

M/n POV

‘Ugh! I’m so bored! There’s nothing to do. Why is life so boring?!’ you thought to yourself. You just stared at the ceiling pretending to make a figure. (Have you ever just looked at the ceiling or anywhere and stared long enough to make a picture? Or is it just me? Comment I wanna know this.)

Just then, I got a text from Tom that reads: “Hey wanna go out? You don’t have to after you told me about your father.” I smiled at his text. 

I began to type, but my fat fingers keep pressing the wrong letters. After about 3 minutes, I got my text ready and sent it. “Sure! My dad just left. So we can hang out! He is usually out for like 4 to 5 hours” 

💕😍Tommy 💖😘 is typing….. “Great I’ll pick you! I’ll be there in an hour.” 

I got up and began to get ready. After 10 minutes, I was ready now I just gotta wait. It was really quiet, I could hear the crickets chirping, the wind howling, and the police sirens off in the distance. “Something must be going down.”

“You know what? I’m gotta get up!” I got up and unlocked my door. I was walking down the hallway when I saw a room. 

Shawn’s office. He always told me not to never go in there and that it was forbidden to go in. ‘I wonder what he’s hiding in there?’ one part of me told me not to go in there, but a much louder voice is telling, “GO IN THERE!” 

I began to think… “you know what, I’m going to do the opposite of what he said!” 

I opened the door nothing really was in there. Just a table in the center with a laptop and other paperwork with bookcases on the side. I walked behind the desks to see drawers.

Me being a snoop decided to see what secrets Shawn was hiding. Nothing really interesting until I came upon a box. 

I opened it up to see pictures of me when I was a kid, I looked around ten at the time. I really didn’t it into account because it was innocent. But then I found this one picture…

It was me with a woman by me. ‘Is that my mother? I finally get to see what she looks like!’ my happiness quickly died when I saw another picture. 

It was me with my mom and another man?! ‘Who is that man? Was mom cheating on Shawn?’ the more that I looked at the picture, the more I see that I have more similar features. I now noticed that I look nothing like Shawn! 

Then I saw another photo, this time with two giant x’s on their pictures. It was like a murder putting x’s on their targets meaning that they killed them. My eyes widen at this discovery. 

‘It was all a lie?! I’m not Shawn’s son? He killed my real parents! But why?’ as I was thinking, I heard the door close. I grasp as I looked over to see Shawn leaning against the door. 

“Looks like you finally found out…” before I could react, he put a cloth over my mouth and I inhaled the toxins on the rag. 

Darkness was the only thing I saw, and Shawn standing over me with a sadistic smile. 

“I’ll take you far away from here my darling… you only need me and no one else”

To be continued...