#it allows me to play around with neon highlights

[quasar-kaiser]

My take on BMs new design!

It took me a while to get used to it but fanart helped a lot

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Mommy Dearest

Moonlight Chicken, Ep. 7 is all about parent/child relationships. And I for one could not be more grateful to P'Aof and the other writers, cast, and crew involved in highlighting that. As I've gotten older my appreciation for slice of life style stories has continued to grow, and I think that stems from finding comfort and catharsis in seeing other people portray my reality. Especially when it is treated with empathy and understanding.

Which is why I was so happy to see Li Ming's interactions with his mother this episode. Cause the second they meet face to face, I knew I would be relating hard to Li Ming's feelings towards his mother.

It is vitally, vitally important to me that Jam is introduced in this way. That she is always being shown throughout this entire episode to be kind. She is nice, she is expressing interest in her son, she is cooking for him, she is asking him to come home. Even when she is expressing her thoughts on Li Ming being gay to Jim, ones that are harmful, she is not doing so maliciously. She is allowed to be seen as not inherently evil, and Li Ming is still allowed to feel no love for her.

And this is very important to me specifically because it the way she engages with Li Ming is nearly identical to the way my father is currently trying to engage with me. He's started calling me more, started asking me more questions about my life, started inviting me over for dinner when I'm in town. And the reason why I'm so invested in this scene is because, I recognize the deadness in Li Ming's eyes, we know from later on in the episode that Li Ming isn't sure that he loves his mother, and as a result we have a colder, more stand-offish, and unusually quiet Li Ming. He is not capable of engaging with his mother in a loving way, and it radiates out of him. Before we've had more than ten seconds of a conversation between them, we can already tell that Li Ming is incapable of buying in to her pleasantries.

Even worse for Li Ming, this is a surprise. He did not know she was coming, and now she is here, giving him no time to emotionally or mentally prepare to interact with her.

And this statement speaks volumes to me, probably does to Li Ming too. She didn't come here to see Li Ming, she didn't come here because she missed Li Ming, she came here because her boyfriend was coming here, she just happened to be in town. It's understandable if the expense to travel is a burden, but we know pretty soon after she says this line that she is currently living comfortably.

Crucially, Jam doesn't say this to be cruel, she is not trying to hurt Li Ming. She's just telling him information, but if my father said this to me after an extended time apart, I know I certainly would be thinking of course. of course you only come when it's convenient for you.

Love this line. Because it establishes a fact. Li Ming and Jam do not talk to each other. Li Ming has no idea who Uncle Tong is in relation to his mother.

Li Ming's entire character centers around connection and disconnection. And if his body language wasn't a neon sign in and of itself to the disconnect he has between himself and his mother, everything she has said and continues to say puts further distance between them. "That uncle who took you fishing when you were small," when you were small. She hasn't seen Li Ming in years, she has no idea who he is as a person now, no idea what memories he's made since living in Pattaya. Li Ming is her child, so he will always be a child, and his current likes and interests and memories must surely still be tied to his childhood. Because she only knows Li Ming has he was, before she lost left him

Ok, I know I say this every time, but Fourth is such a good actor, there is so much more darkness and anger in Li Ming than in Gun and I always have to remind myself he's playing both characters. And right here, I want to ask Fourth what Li Ming is feeling. Is he lying or is he telling the truth? Is he scared of what is coming next? He knows what will happen, he knows what is coming. Does he lie about not remembering P'Tong to try to drive the knife in a little? Or does he genuinely not remember and it's a good indication that Jam will have to work very very hard to brighten up the relationship between her and her son?

We love the incredibly human characters that are in this show. Li Ming's mother does actually care about her son's opinion here. She wants him to know that she is thinking of marrying P'Tong. I do genuinely believe that, that she is seeking permission here from Li Ming, regardless of whether P'Tong was the one who suggested it or not.

Zero tolerance for bullshit.

I know Li Ming as a character is very willing and able to call out the injustices he sees, anywhere, anytime, with anyone in any position of power. But God, (sorry this is getting too personal) it feels so satisfying some times to deliver a cut like this to a parent.

Li Ming is still not buying in to it, so Jam is being more intentional about what she is feeling. Jam wants Li Ming's opinion, or...she wants Li Ming to absolve her of some of her guilt and her hesitations and her worries.

ZERO! TOLERANCE! FOR! BULLSHIT!

God. His face in this whole scene is great, so detached from everything, he is giving her as few emotions as possible. It's cold, it's distant, his physicality bears the emotional distance between them. It is so so different from his confrontations with Jim. Someone he is also very clearly willing and able to talk back to. To get punchy with.

When Li Ming is mad at Jim he gets close, as close to him as possible, right up in to his face.

When Jim gives him a command "don't raise your voice at me," "I said stop." it does take a few attempts but Li Ming does listen. Does calm down. Does apologize. And even after his uncle has constantly, sometimes unintentionally, and sometimes for safety, over-stepped Li Ming's boundaries and autonomy, Li Ming still often checks in with Jim. In the confrontation with Heart's parents when Heart runs upstairs, Li Ming looks to Jim (in my mind seeking permission) before he runs up after him.

But crucially, Li Ming trusts Jim, Li Ming loves Jim, Li Ming knows Jim cares about him and as a result, he gives Jim his whole self. He calms himself down when Jim tells him he's crossed the line, he goes to Jim's birthday party, he apologizes to Jim. He tells Jim what is bothering him, and while that often ends in an argument, Li Ming is fully willing to be honest with him.

"If you want me to say it's okay, just say it,"

Jam does not get the same honesty. Whatever he can do to just finish this conversation sooner, he will do. Whatever Jam wants him to say so she can feel better and he can get more distance between them, he will say.

Oh. I can see how easy it would be for Li Ming to fully believe it was P'Tong who actually decided to consider Li Ming's feelings. Not hers.

Straight to the point. Just say what you mean, just tell me what you want, stop dragging this conversation out.

He looks...absolutely the same. No emotion. Closed off. There is no excitement, no hope, no joy. This is not good news to him. This does not change anything between them. This does not make him love his mother more, or make him feel more loved by his mother in return.

"My life is more comfortable now, you know? You're about to graduate from high school. Maybe we can be together again." Now, we all know that Li Ming is not interested in going to college, he wants to leave, to do work and travel. But his mother doesn't know that, we'll get to the sentence immediately following this one in a second but I just...I can't help thinking about whether or not Li Ming would even live at home if he did go to college. How much parenting would she really have to do. How much of a time commitment would she really be putting in?

We know Li Ming has desperately been seeking freedom and understanding. He has found understanding by way of Heart. But the freedom from poverty? He now has that if he goes to live with his Mom. She's living a comfortable life. But he doesn't want it. Because fundamentally, more than anything else, Li Ming wants freedom to make his own choices.

And see, here is the thing. "IF YOU WANT to continue your studies," she's giving him a choice here...technically. But Jim and Li Ming have had this conversation already. Jim and Li Ming have already had this fight. Going back with his mother would not solve any of his problems, and in fact creates more because it separates him from the community he has here.

"Why do you all decide for me? Nobody bothers to ask me first."

Now, in the first place we know there is no way in Hell Li Ming is going back with his mother. There is not a second in this entire interaction that Li Ming even entertains the idea. He does not love his mother, he does not want to live with his mother, his mother has no clue who he even is as a person at this point.

And in the second place, he would be facing the same exact problem he has right now. People aren't asking him what he wants. They aren't treating him like an adult. And yes, as you get older, you realize that people were doing their best, and as you get older you realize that it's difficult to successfully balance when you need to protect or guide young adults and when you need to let them make their own decisions. In the conversation Li Ming has with Jim at the end of Episode 5 after they return home. Jim asks "What if something more serious occurs to [Heart]?" and Li Ming replies with "I never think it would happen," and that is what Jim is trying to shield Li Ming from. And all Li Ming is asking for is to be allowed to learn from those moments.

Okay, tangent over, back to Li Ming and Jam. Where we have seen Li Ming be cold, near dissociative, and definitely detached through most of the conversation with his mother. But this, the lack of autonomy he is constantly facing by his family, is Li Ming's biggest sore spot. And he has been bravely trudging along through a conversation he does not want to be in, where he is being met with just so much kindness that lacks so much understanding of him, that he is ready to be done.

But this is not the reaction his mother is expecting of Li Ming, again, because she hasn't been here for this. We have. Jim has. We know that this is a sore spot, and we know that Li Ming has already been in a very emotionally charged argument about this with his uncle before, and I doubt he really wants to do it again.

"Isn't it good to have options?" because she is confused. Because she doesn't know that Li Ming has chosen his option already. That his choice is to leave. And this question is double edged, though I don't think Jam realizes it. Isn't is good to have options? To have college as a back up if you decide you want to go. To have me as a backup if you are tired of living with Uncle Jim. If you are tired of living here in poverty, in a community that accepts you, in a place where you have friends and you have love and you have connection. You can come back with me to live in a comfortable home, with a man that I don't really want to marry but will anyway, away from all your friends, away from the man that raised you, away from your community.

No wonder Li Ming hits her back immediately with "What do you want me to be happy about first?"

The face of a man who is very much not happy about any of this. "About your breakup with Uncle Sith, about your new boyfriend, or about you being well-off and having a comfortable life, and wanting to take me back with you?"

If anyone can remind me of the timeline with Beam, I would really love to know, because I want to know if Li Ming knew Beam, if Li Ming met Beam. How many people has he lost? How often is his mother breaking up with people? How out of the loop does Li Ming feel?

Babes, you didn't come here for Li Ming at all. The list of reasons you gave for coming to Pattaya, in order:

"P'Tong was in town running errands"

"P'Tong wanted me to ask you if it was okay if he married me,"

"I want to be with you,"

The reason you actually came to Pattaya:

Jim called and asked for a title, and you want to use it to get him to try to help you get your son to move back with you.

The face of a man who is absolutely done compromising his own feelings for his mother's.

And God, okay it is time to talk about Li Ming and eye contact. Because we know he is so so capable of keeping eye contact. When he fights with Jim his eyes are always always right on him. When he's with Heart, he's making as much eye contact as possible.

When he is with Jam, it is completely reversed, he makes eye contact with his mother as little as possible. Physically turning himself away from her at the end here. And she tries to be physically affectionate with him, to show her love for him, but Li Ming does not love his mother, and so he just sits there unable to reciprocate.

Lmao, me when my Dad tries to hug me.

Okay, so I started this whole thing by saying that I was incredibly grateful to this show for making Li Ming's mother kind, and for allowing Li Ming to treat her this way anyway, and for that to be okay. Warning, personal story ahead...when I was sixteen, in a fit of anger, my father said he could live perfectly happily without me, and it did irreparable harm to our already extremely tenuous relationship. The thing that even made me tolerate him was going to college and getting thousands of miles between us. And by the end of college our relationship broke down further, and then even distance couldn't save it. But, my father is incredibly charming and charismatic to the outside world. I do not love my father. And that is something I have never said out loud. Because I feel guilty about it. But, I do not love my father, and unfortunately, that's clear to anyone that sees us interact. Because I am Li Ming in my own situation. I am detached, emotionless, giving the shortest possible replies with no extra information. When my father ends his phone calls with "I love you" I do not say it back, because I can't and because I don't believe him. When my father hugs me, I do not hug him back. When my father invites me to dinner, and his girlfriend is there, I can't shake the feeling that it was her who suggested we all get together in the first place. Or if it wasn't, that he's just trying to show himself off as a good father to impress her.

And from the outside looking in, to strangers who do not know the history that has come between us, the history that has gotten us to that point, I look like the asshole. And it is something that I am painfully aware of. So this scene means a lot to me, because I have not seen this type of relationship between a parent and a child in any media before. Either the parents are great, or the parents are abusive, or the parents have been cut off because they are asking too much of their kids. I haven't seen my relationship to my parent accurately represented, and humanely represented. I do not think that Li Ming is being unfair here, I do not think that he is being cruel. And that brings me such relief.

[lgcrp]

◔ ┈ LOADING … TRAINEE PROFILE INITIATED !

PARK ZOE ( READ MORE HERE )

AGE 18 ( 11 APRIL 2005 )

TRAINED FOR 1 YEARS ( SIGNED JANUARY 2023 )

              INTRODUCTION VIDEO FOUND … PRESS PLAY ?

Her long, wavy hair bounced rhythmically with every step she took, as she confidently strode towards the camera's view. She positioned herself gracefully, her face beaming with a radiant smile as she prepared to strike a pose. The soft light of the studio illuminated her features, highlighting the subtle contours of her face and the vibrant colors of her outfit. She looked like a true star, ready to captivate the world with her charm. “Hello, everyone! It’s a pleasure to be here. My name is Zoe Park, or Park Mo-lan and it's so exciting to be here. I'm from a city in a famous state in the United States, with sunny beaches, and beautiful celebrities. Can you guess what city?”She prepares a simple introduction that quickly turned long and sassy. But she wants to show the viewers she was both beauty meets brains. A captain through and through. "Brentwood, California! So I've always wanted to see my name in neon lights, and studied a lot in order to achieve my dream." Zoe bowed and turned around, ready to perform her cheerleading-inspired choreography as soon as the music started. "Enjoy!" The music began to play (Samantha Long X Eom Taewoong Choreography), and Zoe grinned eagerly. With every piercing and energetic beat, Zoe's moves were sharp and bouncy. Her trendy, sporty outfit allowed her to step fluidly across the floor, incorporating intricate moves to highlight her sense of style. As she went through the floor routines, her biceps began to burn, but it weirdly comforted her, ensuring she wouldn't miss a beat or breathe too heavily. She unveiled multiple eight counts she had made up, adding edginess to the hip hop tune, transforming it into a unique 'Zoe experience'. The music rounded off, and Zoe greeted the camera with fiery eyes. Seconds later, flashing a wide smile and another bow, hair flipping, then cascaded down her back like a waterfall - 'hairography' is very important to her. She finally got a chance to catch her breath, but she wanted to say a little more, "I look forward to becoming a well-rounded dancer, performer, and vocalist. Treat me well!" She knew she had just left her soul on that floor, even if for just an introduction film. Her chest heaving from what she just displayed, she exhaled in relief. Fingers crossed that the viewers and future fans will recognize her star / It Girl potential.  

            INTERESTED ? REACH OUT TO THE TRAINEE !

[legendaryvermin]

Who the **** Is Legendary Vermin?

Greetings internet wanderer! You can call me Vermin/Elvie and I'm a game designer, actual play streamer, and ttrpg cretin lurking around twitter, twitch, youtube and now tumblr!

I have work on itch.io that has everything from medium weight tactical RPGs, to lyric games, to goofy erotic larps. Most stuff is either free or pay what you can, and anything that has a set price point also has a barrel of Community Copies that refill whenever someone buys the game outright. https://legendary-vermin.itch.io/

I'm also an AP streamer who shows up predominantly on Neon Lights Roleplay! I've been in everything from high-fantasy games, to Resident Evil style horror games, and you can find VODs of my work here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUYBnjyXT3Cp4KTnM1gqrVI4S9-k1FUhL A couple of highlights:

Games Stuff

Alley-Oop!

Alley-Oop! is a game I wrote with my wife in 2019 that is based on the WNBA's trip into the Wubble, a recreation center that was closed to the public, allowing the players to play in relative safety in spite of the dangerous early days of the pandemic. It was also inspired by the rise of Blaseball and Marbula One, and the idea that we as humans are really good at taking totally random noise and creating exciting stories by giving otherwise meaningless objects their own personalities.

As such, the game isn't about simulating basketball as much as it is about commentating it, and then deciding who these players are based on how the dice fall. Oh, and those dice? They are your players! Yeah! The pink d4 is Ollie Orion, and she's in the running for rookie of the year! But it's been hard for her to concentrate because she recently had a break up with that orange d10 on the other team. Maybe after this round of basketball, you and your friends will RP a scene between the two of them, where they have to shoot a commercial together. Maybe their love will be reignited?????

Alley-Oop! is also one of only a couple of games I wrote that got a print run, and the book is Gorgeous!!

Æthernet

Far and away one of my most popular games, Æthernet asks the question "What if, in the far future when humanity travels the stars and the internet is immersive VR, someone accidentally opened a rift to another dimension in the internet, and turned the internet into a literal digital hellscape?" and follows that question up with "What if we had to do dungeon crawls there as part of the gig economy?" Inspired by Doom (duh) and dozens of stories about the intersection of Magic and Technology, Æthernet is a small version of a game I want to make Very Large one day.

No Amount Of Armor: Ashcan Edition

I will probably talk about this game a ton here, but No Amount of Armor is my diet-tactics story-driven mecha RPG that takes you to the razor's edge of warfare. Mechanically, it sits between heavy tactical games like Lancer and fully story driven games like Firebrands, giving players the tools to embody characters that feel like they have a stake in the world, and build mechs that feel like they can throw a punch to level a building.

Right now, this game is still in development, and you are invited to give feedback and help shape the game's final form!

Actual Play Highlights

You can watch any of the shows I've been in on the youtube playlist above, but here are some finished Series that are digestible and fun!

Resident Evil: Catalyst

A game of The Company made for The Top Shelf in three parts! It follows a group of engineers, scientists and soldiers in the wake of an early break out of a combination of a G-Virus and Las Plagas. It ends in tragedy in one of the highest stakes conversations I've ever had the pleasure to participate in in TRPG.

Under Twilit Skies

Under Twilit Skies came together as a charity stream, and became so much more than that. At its core is the very real pain of living under state violence, and the need to fight back.

5 talented pilots fight against the empire that colonized, brutalized, killed and created them. 4 episodes of high octane, high drama mecha action in Armour Astir: Advent.

[fridge-reviews]

Tales of the Neon Sea - Blast Review

Developer: Palm Pioneer Rrp: £13.49 (Gog.com and Steam) £13.99 (Epic)

Tales of the Neon Sea is a point and click adventure game but its unusual in that it allows the player to use a control pad or a mouse. I know that seems like such a strange thing to highlight, but it really is abnormal, in fact the only game of a similar genre that did that that I can think of was Jenny LeClue Detectivu. Does it make any difference to the experience? Well yes, the puzzles are less about clicking a precise location and instead tend to rely on giving the player lots of smaller puzzles to work through. So for example, to gain access to a building you have to bypass an electronic lock which requires you to preform a puzzle where you have to light up every node without crossing over a route you've already been on.

This game has a really great atmosphere to it and the creators clearly tried to give the world a lot of character. While wandering around I spoke to every character I could, even if they were unimportant, because I wanted to learn more about this world I was inhabiting. The puzzles range from simple to fiendish and the difficulty curve with that is gradual. Also you get to play as a cat occasionally which immediately adds a lot to my mental score for this game.

If you get the chance to grab this game I highly recommend it!

----

If you’d like to support me I've recently made a Ko-fi, the reviews will continue to be posted donation or not.

[minteagalaxea]

guys my age | n.k

genre: a dollop of angst, three dollops of suggestive content

word count: 2.1k

inspiration: “guys my age” by hey violet

note: implied age gap (reader is in college, nanami is 27), former relationship between mahito and reader

haven’t done a songfic in a while...welp

vivid vice glowed with the sort of hazy purple neon lights that could both highlight and mute the litany of facial expressions around the subject in question—a young woman sitting on a bar stool, hand twirling the glass with the stem neatly tucked in between her fingers, staring at the dance floor with hazy observation. however, the neutrally-set lips bent downwards into a mild frown upon fleetingly making eye contact with a familiar individual, with his long, grey hair, impish grey-blue eyes, and his smile that seemed to carry teeth behind it.

mahito came from a well-off family, she learned very early on into their relationship, though she surmised she deducted as much with the way he seemed to always drive a brand new sports car he purchased on whim to campus with his laissez-faire grin. though she was certainly fond of the finer things in life, and enjoyed what he provided, she quickly started to grow bored, with the thrills of brand new riches gradually diminishing in its excitement with the lack of any further substantial depth to their dynamic.

i suppose that’s how it is when you’re used to being spoiled the entirety of your life: you never seem to be able to grow out of it she thought.

haven’t seen my ex since we broke up probably ‘cause he didn’t wanna grow up

she almost resigned herself to resting her head on her arm, though she snapped out of her daze when she took note of a man sitting over on one of the lounge chairs in the corner of the club, her line of sight very clear as she took note of the more discernible features that the light wasn’t influencing.

he seemed tall, if his legs served as any indication, and he seemed sturdily built with broad shoulders and a relatively slim waist. tilting her head, she noted his chiselled, more mature-seeming bone structure, perhaps almost the diametric opposition to mahito, who now seemed scrawny and small in comparison to the view she was feasting upon.

perhaps it was a stroke of fate, but she rose to her feet, adjusting her black ensemble, sauntering over to him after he caught her eyes conspicuously observing and scrutinizing, glee and assertiveness radiating with every step she took towards the corner of the violet-lit area.

now, i’m out here wearing something low cut ‘bout to get attention from a grown up

the conversation seemed to flow smoothly enough, despite their awkward beginnings; she discovered his name was nanami, a corporate worker, and the only reason he was present at vivid vice at all was the result of his coworker’s incessant nagging. in turn, she told him about her, how her entire escapade to the club was to take the edge off a hectic exam season, akin to a celebration of sorts.

though he raised an eyebrow, nanami made no comment on her age as their dialogue progressed, invading personal spaces and boundaries a bit willingly to hear each other speak more properly, the alcohol also providing enough of a buffer between them as they gradually moved closer and closer to each other.

she hadn’t expected this, though, she concluded, where her hands were playing with the leather suspenders and his were resting comfortably on her thigh, keeping her close to him under the guise of allowing more people to be able to share the space on the chair, though she was in no position to complain about it.

‘cause you hold me like a woman in a way i’ve never felt before

time felt like it flowed at a more languid state than the hustle and bustle of their daily lives, nanami having at some point repositioned her to stay on his lap, lips melding in a melody that they were creating as they persisted, an impromptu composition as she whispered into his ear for him to take her home, dazed from the proximity as he tucks her into him as they both walked outside, lighting change to reveal his blond hair and firm, keen eyes.

and it makes me wanna hold on and it makes me wanna be all yours

the drive back to his place was no less polite and cordial than the rest of him, she learned. nanami’s car was pristine, no doubt expensive just like the rest of his aura, purchased as a result of years of cultivation and persistence. she supposed that it added towards the rest of his charm: a self-made type of man that was all business, yet courteous and kind that made material possessions and relationships seem more worthwhile than initially anticipated.

guys my age don’t know how to treat me don’t know how to treat me don’t know how to treat me

she knew that she had only known the man for the better half of what seemed to be two hours, yet he had already provided the physical affection that she hadn’t realized she deprived herself of; however, she couldn’t object to the way the man made it so effortless to have her be receptive towards his hand on her thigh as he drove, her line of sight turned to stare outside the car window.

guys my age don’t know how to touch me don’t know how to love me good

she mused to herself that his values had a hand in how he handled her, like a precious little china doll that seemed priceless in its worth, though he didn’t seem to be afraid of handling her, his eyes flickering over to check on her every now and then as she gazed outside the blurring city, which halted to a still as he parked in the garage of his apartment complex in the more wealthy section of downtown.

guys my age don’t know how to keep me don’t know how to keep me don’t know how to keep me

nanami took his time with her that evening, pace thorough and concentrated solely on her, watching how her body moved and curved underneath the glowing moonlight reflected through the floor-to-ceiling window directly opposing his bed. despite his calloused hands, his touches were soft and words low enough to make her swoon and body crave more and more of him with every passing moment she spent with him.

her eyes grew hazy as she came undone underneath the man, a light sheen of sweat apparent on both of their bodies as their evening progressed, his grip firm and aching in a welcome manner, constantly accommodating, lips all over every inch of her skin in an act of reverence—her voice crooned for him sweetly, his name like the most delectable ambrosia on her tongue.

guys my age don’t know how to touch me don’t know how to love me good

the girl could never recall such a manner of touch from mahito, a moment of spite reflecting after everything, resting comfortably in his bathtub as he kissed her forehead tenderly, promising to join after he managed to successfully clean the evidently soiled sheets.

in the moment of silence in the luscious bath and the warm lights of his bathroom, her mind drifted over to her grey-haired former paramour, skin tingling in discomfort from how isolated from his world she felt to be, like a shiny new toy that was to be commodity until he fixated on a brand new one, much like a child had the tendency to do.

he seemed insistent on always spending time with those of his ilk: superficially attentive like hanami and jogo, disregarding her presence and interests. it had escalated to never really wanting to leave the comfort of his lavish estate, favoring his company and relationship with a tangible substance like his coveted toys. certainly, mahito could never place anything that required investment over something that is already shiny and brand new.

all he ever wanted was to throw down what we supposed to do with all his friends around smoking weed, he’d never wanna leave the house got an empty cushion on that sofa now

just like the way it started, their relationship had ended with palpable formalities that seemed reminiscent to a termination of a contract that, despite the honeyed words, she knew really meant that she was no longer of use to him anymore. she wasn’t allowed to complain too much about it, since her own words were poisoned with a knowing venom that wished him well and to have a more positive significant other; however, she noted that he could never grow out of it, so she mused that he would need someone in equal level of vapidness.

told him “good luck” with the next one maybe she’ll be just as immature

nanami had returned to her side not long after, whispering into her ear about how her expression seemed troubled, giving her a small kiss on her forehead to ease her worries away, coaxing her away from her lingering thoughts with baritone hums and perfunctory touches. leaning down to give her a fleeting kiss, a small, genuine smile on his chiselled face.

no, she pondered for a moment in the midst of her ogling over the blond man as he showered,  i guess he did us both a favor.

gotta thank him, he’s the reason that i know now what i’m looking for

what she initially anticipated to be a fleeting experience seemed to last for so much longer, beginning in the way that nanami tugged her infuriatingly close, allowing her to curl up on his chest much in the way a cat would and linger close. the young woman, while cognizant that everything wasn’t a fantasy, still couldn’t comprehend how it was entirely possible to have fallen in deep with a man that seemed leaps and bounds away from her, though she was in no position to really complain about it.

she woke up the next morning to find herself resting on the plush mattress and pillow, inhaling remnants of his scent on the pillow he replaced himself with and the cologne on his dress shirt, though the smell of breakfast was too enticing for her to leave the cozy haven that was nanami’s bed.

pattering outside towards the source of the smell, her eyes widened in shock at hearing the sound of sizzling food and lilting clatters of assorted utensils. nanami had turned around, emanating such elegance that she wished she had the power to place the mere image of him as the definition for the term in the dictionary.

the man’s expression carried some semblance of surprise, quietly explaining that he intended to deliver her breakfast in bed, warming her heart as she wrapped her limbs around him, a shining beam glowing on her face as they shared a meal, which grew into more excursions than the initial one.

guys my age don’t know how to treat me don’t know how to please me don’t know how to read me

as their outings increased in their frequency, she took note of the minutiae involved with him, with how he had the propensity to ask her about her studies first and foremost, and his adoration for bread and how it motivated him during his work, and the way he always rubbed his thumb on her hand whenever they moved from his car to a restaurant to either of their living arrangements.

guys my age don’t know how to touch me don’t know how to love me good

yet, she also learned how his touch could veer towards dangerous territory—with the way he liked to have his touch linger on her skin in an intentionally featherlight manner, traveling up to her neck or down to her thigh. she learned later that it was his idiosyncratic sort of promise of more to come that night, especially frequent during a day filled with copious amounts of stress. not that she minded, or ever would; he was perpetually doting, even on the roughest of nights where he liked to release his stress on her body with pretty marks for her to remember them by.

nanami kept her on the edge of her seat, lavishing her with the affection and love that she hadn’t expected to receive, but welcomed nonetheless, musing in his baritone voice that he appreciated her company, citing it as something that made the roughest of his days better, giving him more optimism and happiness.

guys my age don’t know how to tease me don’t know how to lead me don’t know how to need me guys my age don’t know how to touch me don’t know how to love me good

she didn’t know if—or when—her relationship with the enigmatic businessman would end; however, she knew one thing.

she could no longer handle being in a relationship with a boy, not when she had her first taste of being in a relationship with a man.

so, i’m never going back no, i’m never going back

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

Private Show (Choi Jongho) Rated

Pairing: Choi Jongho × Exotic Dancer! Reader (Female)

Genre: Smut, Slight Fluff, Idol AU.

Summary: Knowing the maknae has been lusting for a certain expensive stripper, Yunho arranges a private dance just for him that includes a little bonus gift.

Word Count: 4.4K+

Warnings: Strip clubs, exhibitionism, voyeurism, pole dancing, masturbation, breast play, lap dance, spanking unprotected sex (always use protection), cum facial.

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Paying no mind to the lovely lady that was currently running her fingers through his hair, Jongho's eyes kept wandering around the bright, neon lighted room, shifting around in his seat at times so that it would be easier to see the stage in front of him. The girl, feeling a bit disappointed to be slighted as such, turned her attention over to his companion, who was more than eager to accept her little dance on his lap. His large hands fought hard to keep them at his sides, knowing fully well the rules of not touching the exotic dancers. But there was certainly no rule about the girls touching the clients and some, like the bubbly and energetic one currently grinding on Yunho's lap, were more than happy to get a little handsy with them. He couldn't help the excited giggle as he tilted his head so she could glide her tongue down the side of his neck, loving every second of the attention he was getting. Noticing that his younger friend was hardly enjoying himself, Yunho sighed before taking out a couple bills from his pocket and holding it out for the young seductress. Wanting to leave him with one last souvenir, the stripper pulled one of the straps of her glittery bra down, allowing the male idol to get a glimpse of her nipple. Biting his lip, Yunho discreetly placed the bundle of cash inside her garment, sighing blissfully as he watched her saunter off to go entertain another man.

"You don't seem to be enjoying yourself." He pointed out as he looked at Jongho with a curious gaze.

"Maybe because I'm just not into these types of things..?" Jongho shrugged as he reached for the glass that was on the table in front of him.

"Bet you wouldn't be saying that if Y/N was the one performing."

Yunho smirked when Jongho sipped on his drink too harshly, lightly letting out a cough after choking on the alcoholic liquid.

"What?"

Yunho rolled his eyes at his friend.

"Oh come on dude, you practically drool and get hard everytime she's on stage."

Jongho lowered himself in his seat, gaze wandering uncomfortably across the glittery floor underneath him. Chuckling in an endearing tone, Yunho patted Jongho's back affectionately.

"Awww. Does the Ateez' baby have a little crush on the hot stripper?" He teased him.

"What?! N-no..." Jongho furrowed his eyebrows, moving away from Yunho as far as he was able to in their seating booth.

"I mean, I honestly don't blame you. There's a reason she's the most sought after and expensive dancer in this place."

Catching sight of one of the bouncers heading their way, Yunho inwardly smiled to himself as the plan he had devised was about to come into action, the main highlight of why he had dragged Jongho down to the club with him, albeit with very little resistance from the younger male.

"Excuse me sir? Miss Y/N is ready to receive you in the private room."

Widening his eyes at the bouncer's announcement, Jongho whipped his head over at Yunho, who had the biggest and somewhat unnerving grin plastered on his face, almost as if he was taunting the maknae. Jongho especially felt somewhat slighted when his Hyung dared to produce his infamous black card out of his pocket, waving it around in front of the other's unamused face.

"Of fucking course you'd be able to afford a private dance with her." Jongho rolled his eyes, trying to seem as though it didn't bother him that Yunho had actually gone out of his way to book a personal session with the most desired woman in the establishment.

"Black card privilege my friend." Yunho giggled, putting his card safely back in his wallet after making sure to flex it.

"Oh suck it." Jongho grumbled, no longer to hide his annoyance at not being capable of affording exclusive time with a sexy woman who could charge 6 digits an hour solely because she was that gorgeous and lavish to look at.

Slumping an arm over his malcontent friend, Yunho leaned in to finally speak out the crucial part in his devious plan.

"Jongho, I booked the private dance for you kiddo."

With mind unable to believe Yunho's words, Jongho looked at the older male in confusion and almost as if he was in a daze. Chuckling, Yunho cupped his younger member's face and closed his agape lips.

"Don't drool just yet, you haven't even seen her."

Slipping himself out of his seat, Yunho extended his hand out towards Jongho, helping him up before proceeding to lead him out of the main hall and up the stairs. Jongho felt the pounding of his heart resonating in his ears, mouth slightly feeling dry the closer they approached the door of the private room. Gulping as he realized just behind those 2 doors he'd be faced with the very personification of his lustful desires, Jongho's hand slightly trembled as he reached for the doorknob. Snorting softly at the younger member's hesitation, Yunho leaned in and opened the door for him.

"Trust me Jongho, Y/N is actually very nice and will make sure you're comfortable at all times." Yunho assured him whilst simultaneously pushing him inside.

"How the hell do you know that?" Although Jongho's inquiry was more as a mental question towards himself, he was not ready for Yunho's answer.

"It's not the first time I've spent money for a one on one session with her-"

"Uh what?!"

Without getting any further explanation, Jongho watched as Yunho waved him a goodbye and closed the door, the light beeping sound letting him know that it was secured with a lock. Turning around, Jongho looked around and admired the soft pink aesthetic the room had been decorated with. It had a somewhat innocent and angelic vibe to it, which he didn't particularly dislike. In fact, he thought it was rather cute as in his mind he was already picturing a deep red lighting and a bunch of chains rattling across the walls. It was a pleasant contrast.

"I'm glad you seem to like the decor, I was here to make sure every detail would be to your liking."

Whipping his head towards the voice that startled him with their presence, Jongho's breath was caught when he saw none other than Y/N leaning against one of the walls, lips curled up in that mesmerizing smile of hers that never failed to melt him. With slow steps, she approached him, a completely tactic and intentional move so he'd be able to check her out from head to toe, and boy did he make use of it. He licked his lips as he took in her off white costume, consisting of a pearl beaded and lace bra that made sure to push up her soft looking breasts in the most alluring way, matching lace panties that had pearl studded clasps at the hip sides, no doubt intended for fast and hassle free removal. Her legs were accentuated by thigh high white stockings and the criminally high platform heels that helped her figure look elongated and more graceful. Her abdomen was decorated with a diamond belly chain that was fitted around her waist, a tiny pink butterfly pendant dangling in the middle, matching the pendant on the diamond choker that adorned her captivating neck. She had gone a lot more softer than she usually other for on her makeup, blush pink and soft coral main the focal points on the apples of her cheeks and lips, barely any color on her eyes save for the winged eyeliner that helped make her eyes look more enigmatic. Several parts of her body had been brushed with sparkling highlighter, mainly focusing on her shoulders, cheekbones, collarbone and the sides of her arms and thighs. Her hair was even styled differently, soft curled ends piled up into two half ponytails, the rest of her hair let down in similarly styled waves except for the long parted bangs that helped frame her face into having a more cutesy and angelic aura.

"Of course...." Her silky voice brought him out of his trance, making him focus his attention on her words.

"I did have a little help. Your friend told me a few things you seemed to favor." Her soft and semi mischievous giggle made him feel slightly abashed with himself.

Coming up close to him, Y/N took hold of his face, slightly squishing them in an affectionate manner.

"Don't be shy baby. Just sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Leave everything to me."

A soft gasp escaped Jongho's mouth when she playfully pushed him to sit on the cushioned seat behind him, nearly falling off but managing to catch himself before that happened. Strutting over to the pole in the middle of the room, Y/N looked at him and sent him a heart fluttering wink.

As if on cue, the lights dimmed just a bit as a slow and sensual song started to play. Whipping her hair around, Y/N's arm outstretched itself to take a firm hold of the pole. Kicking one leg off the floor and using it as momentum, it stayed outstretched while her other leg bent around the pole as well, helping her to spin around expertly the pole. No matter how many times he'd see her do it, Jongho could never stop himself from whispering a soft 'wow' at how effortlessly and natural she made it seem when he knew very well it took a lot of strength to execute such a move.

Spinning around a few turns, she carefully planted her feet back on the ground. Making sure she was facing Jongho, she kept one arm on the metal bar behind her as her body slowly slid down, back supported on the pole. She made sure to keep her legs parted, hips swaying side to side in rhythm with the music, her free hand caressing her bare inner thigh with a teasing motion. Once down on the floor, she stayed on her knees as she trailed her hands up her torso, cupping her breasts and giving them a hard squeeze. Jongho widened his eyes when he watched her turn her back to him, still on her knees as her hands reached up to unhook her bra. He watched with anticipation as she peeled the straps off her shoulders, taking it off one arm, then the other until it was tossed across the room.

"Oh fuck-" He groaned when he came face to face with her bare chest for the first time since he started going over to the club. Being such a popular dancer, Y/N only fully stripped in settings like this, private room to wealthy paying customers, a privilege he now got to experience thanks to Yunho.

Taking hold of her breasts once more, she kneaded them between her palms, letting out a hiss as she purposefully pinched them to make them as hard as possible. As if the sight couldn't get more erotic, she lifted her hips slightly off the ground and proceeded to roll her hips up into the air, giving Jongho the perfect imagery of how she would look if she was on top of him, dick filling her pussy. After playing with her perky tits enough for his amusement, she got up once more and went back to the pole. Holding onto it, one hand a few inches away from the other, she lifted her body up and kept her legs spread as she spun around in a straddle spin. She made sure to keep a cheeky smile towards the man watching her performance, noticing that his hand began to rub dangerously close to his very obvious hard on.

"Oh sweet boy, don't worry, I won't keep you waiting." She giggled inwardly to herself.

Expertly, she spun herself down, legs further spreading as the eased into a middle split onto the floor. Y/N didn't stay long in that position, quickly bringing her knees together as she used the pole to help her get up off the floor. Circling around to be in front of Jongho once more, she turned around once more and bent down to touch her ankles. Her hands then proceeded to glide up her legs until they reached up to her barely covered ass cheeks. Wanting to play with him more, she playfully gave her ass a rather mild slap and if she had been able to she would have seen the effect it had on Jongho, the idol lightly jolting up from his seat as one of his hands twitched against his lap. Hands coming up to her hips, her fingers quickly snapped open the pearl decorated clasps on her underwear, the garment dropping fast onto the floor just like Jongho's mouth.

"Oh my god.." Was all he could mutter as he gazed at Y/N's bare pussy that was tempting him to go over and eat it up. Y/N did not make it any easier as her fingers once again reached back to spread her folds apart, letting him see just how wet and glistening they were. Feeling aroused and wanting to play with herself a bit, Y/N turned around to face Jongho again as she sat back down with legs spread. Hand reaching in between her thighs, Y/N threw her head back as she rubbed 3 of her fingers against her throbbing clit, spilling out the hottest moans Jongho had ever heard. His eyes stayed trained on her core, teeth tugging at his bottom lip as he saw how engorged and swollen her pussy lips were becoming thanks to her fast hand movements. As if the picture couldn't get any better-

"Jongho..." He tensed up when he heard her mutter his name. Opening her eyes, Y/N giggled at his shocked expression.

"Yes babyboy, you're not the only one who's getting turned on." She admitted, her rubbing becoming more intense and her sounds starting to get more high pitched. She could have made herself cum right then and there but she immediately halted her movements when she felt herself get too close to climaxing. She had already made up her mind that if she was going to cum, it was going to be on Jongho's cock, the very cock that she had been craving for quite some time. She vividly remembers the first time she saw him, sitting there in the crowd, eyes locked on her. Unlike the usual and common stares she'd get from other men that only displayed carnal lust and appetite, Jongho's eyes were different. They looked at her with pure adoration, staring at her as if she was an absolute goddess. He looked past her sexy body and dance and peered deep into the art and beauty of it, admiring each and every move she'd make onstage with fascination. Every time she'd perform and he was there, he always had an expression that seemed as if he had just discovered a priceless treasure or gem and Y/N loved the way he looked at her. He made her feel alive again, reminding her of why she loved performing, a love that had almost gone extinct after being viewed as nothing more than an object of entertainment and pleasure by many others. Seeing Jongho stare at her the way he did then, the way he was looking at her now, refueled that passion that had been buried deep inside her, being awakened once more by the man sitting in front of her.

Getting on all hands and knees, Y/N began crawling over to Jongho, the boy noticeably stiffening the closer she approached him. Sitting right in front of him, Y/N didn't hesitate to press her palms on his thick thighs, rubbing them in a gentle massage. She continued a pattern of stroking his thighs, thumbs occasionally pressing down hard. With a mischievous smirk, she hovered a hand above the tent in his pants before pressing it down to start palming him.

"Oh-Oh..." Jongho's breath hitched, thighs clenching at the feeling of her touching his intimate place, a picture he only got to live in his dreams up until that moment.

"You feel so big and thick even under these layers of clothes. Do you mind if I get a closer look?"

Noticing his hesitation and getting an inkling as to why it was, Y/N leaned forward, burying her face in between his legs as she placed her mouth right on top of his clothed bulge. Jongho outright moaned loudly at the contact, hips involuntarily bucking up each time she closed her mouth over his tent, only to open it back up before repeating the ministrations.

"Y/N please....." Jongho whined. Y/N giggled underneath him, the vibrations doing nothing but riling him up further. Giving in, Jongho began to unzip his pants, his hands sudden being pried off as Y/N took over and finished the task of undressing him. She pulled his pants and briefs down to pool around his ankles, face marveling at the sight of his erect cock right in front of her.

"Oh I was right. You are very thick and big."

Getting up, Y/N sat herself on top of Jongho's lap, the man underneath her gasping when she started rolling her hips against his, her wet folds coating his cock with her juices.

"Y/N are...are you sure this is ok?" He finally voiced out the biggest concern he had about all this.

Chuckling, Y/N wrapped her arms around Jongho's neck, leaning in close enough that her lips fanned over his own.

"Honey, it's perfectly fine. The only rules that apply inside these 4 walls are the ones that I set."

Taking hold of his hands, she placed them on her hips before continuing.

"And the number 1 rule is having you touch me as you please."

Jongho hesitantly ran his hands across her sides, still apprehensive about getting himself or her in trouble. Pouting slightly, Y/N began to grind her hips harder down onto his cock, gasping softly each time her clit felt stimulated by his shaft. That tiny action served to have him slide his hands down to cup her ass, squeezing harshly as he himself began bucking his hips upwards, matching the pace that she had set. He kept his eyes trained on the way her breasts bounced each time she moved fiercely on top of him. Releasing his grip on her ass, he placed them on top of her pillowy mounds, giving them tight squeezes that had Y/N shuddering when his thumbs brushed against her nipples, being extremely sensitive in them. After toying around with her sensitive nubs, making sure to flick them every so often, Jongho licked his lips before pressing his face against in between her tits. Opening his mouth, he latched his lips against one of her nipples, giving it harsh suckles, loud and sloppy noises being heard even over the music. Y/N closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his warm mouth on her boobs. Her fingers came up and tangled themselves on the back of his hair, palms unconsciously pressing him into her chest even further, back arching so that he would be able to take more of her soft flesh inside his mouth. Releasing the first nipple with a loud pop and a thin trail of saliva, Jongho knew it wouldn't be fair if her other nipple didn't get payed the same attention the other got. With a groan, his mouth once again enclosed over her nipple, practically devouring it into his warm and wet cavern.

Y/N's hip movements started to become more and more frantic. After having teased Jongho and herself so much before, she was beginning to feel much too hot and bothered, her pussy feeling empty and in desperate need to be filled with a fat and thick cock. Pulling Jongho's face off her chest, she suddenly got off his lap so she could move over towards the ottoman on the other side of the room. Getting on all fours, she presented her ass to Jongho once more, hand reaching in between to play with her reddened clit.

"Jongho please fuck me. Fuck this little hole of mine and use it as you want."

Not wanting to wait to see if it was a dream that he would wake up from or not, Jongho got up from his seat and began walking over to the exotic dancer. His clothes started to form a trail across the floor as he stripped out of every article of clothing he had on, the last garment dropped right as he came up behind her round and firm ass that was just begging to be slapped by one of his palms. Cupping the sides of her ass, Jongho rubbed the tip of his cock against her slickened lips, his precum mixing with hers, some of it even oozing down lightly on the floor. Any other time she would have appreciated how soft and gentle he was being, but right now that was the last thing she needed.

"Jongho don't tease me. Just drill that cock inside me and break me like one of those apples you break." She didn't even care that she accidentally made it known that she knew very well what he was capable of doing. Jongho on the other hand got a smug smile on his face after finding out that she had actually gone out of her way to do research on him.

Y/N had to press her hands against the top part of the couch to keep herself from holding forward after Jongho plunged his cock deep inside her. Not giving her dripping and warm walls time to prepare, Jongho began slamming his hips against her ass, his shaft being squeezed by her wet and clenching walls that made sure he wouldn't be going anywhere. Needy moans and cries of pleasure echoed in that room, most of them coming from the girl that was being impaled to the hilt by a thick cock repeatedly without mercy.

"Yes! Just like that!" She cried out, deep breaths spilling out as she pushed herself further back into Jongho's thrusts.

"You like being fucked like this?" He growled from behind, dropping one hand to slam hard against one of her cheeks that was rippling each time he pushed deep inside her core, the action making her walls contract painfully around Jongho's cock.

"I- yes! Fuck yes baby I do! I love being fucked as if I was nothing more than a glory hole." She shamelessly admitted.

Jongho once again brought his hand up and then dropped it down, giving her beautiful and supple ass a few repeated smacks, the loud cracking of his palm on her skin continuing to sound across the room until her flesh started to turn a pink-reddish hue. After getting his fill of making sure to slap her ass, Jongho cupped the sides of her soft cheeks, fingers digging harshly into her skin as he spread them out as much as they could, admiring the way his cock entered and re-entered her drenched hole.

"Fuck! You feel so good inside me baby, your going to make me cum."

Hearing those words made the male idol drive harder and more forceful thrusts into her body, using the power in his hips as his cock continued to stretch her tight hole. Y/N was losing her mind at how good the pleasure felt, she wouldn't have been suprised if her agape mouth was drooling saliva down her chin at the point. She focused on nothing else except relishing in how deep Jongho's cock was in her. She loved how rough he was being with her, and Jongho could also tell, her long drawn out screaming moans being a big clue that she was taking his hard thrusts very well. Too well. Swear began to mist both of their bodies, dripping down their foreheads and temples as his merciless pace continued. Y/N began to contract violently underneath him, her moans turning into full on wailing.

"Oh fuck! Jongho I'm gonna-"

She was caught off, lips only managing to spat out piercing whimpers of ecstasy as her juices seeped out and onto his length, warmly coating the entirety of his shaft. Y/N couldn't stop clenching around his cock, almost as if her body was purposefully trying to prolong her mind breaking orgasm. Feeling her spill all over him, Jongho's pace became more sloppy, less calculated, a clear indication that his own climax was not too far behind.

Knowing exactly where she wanted his cumshot, Y/N pulled away from Jongho's cock, quickly turning around and getting on her knees as her hand wrapped around his shaft and rapidly jerked him off, eyes looking up at him as she lowered her face even further so his tip would be right above her forehead.

"Oh shit!" Jongho spat out, head thrown back and eyes shut tightly, unable to hold back from cumming after realizing what Y/N had in store.

Within seconds Y/N felt his cum start to shoot out towards her face, tongue poking out to catch some of it. She loved how hot, thick and sticky it was. Her free hand came up to fondle his balls, proving to help in extending his high as much as possible as well making sure that more cum would be pumped out of him so that it could be splashed on Y/N's pretty face. The girl giggled as a second load shot out unexpectedly, drowning her face in cum as she swallowed what had been collected in her tongue. Jongho was panting almost feverishly when his high finally started to rescind, allowing him to calm his heartbeat that was pumping ferociously. Peering down, he let out a shocked exclaim as he saw the stripper's face drenched in his cum, a huge smile on her face that turned even brighter when she felt him get hard again in her hand. Making sure that his boner wouldn't go anywhere, Y/N leaned in and pressed a kiss to his tip, tongue poking out to dip into his slit.

"Your friend paid for 5 hours and we've only used up 2. What do you say we make his money worth while?"

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Taglist: @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers @multidreams-and-desires @deja-vux @brie02 @couchpotatoaniki @a-soft-hornytiny @daniblogs164 @yunsangoveryonder @minhyukmyluv @nanamarkie @mingismoon @ateezbabysitters @rainteez02

[a-jynx]

Expensive Taste

Excerpt; Gambling with your past is bound to piss you off...

Warnings; Strong language, drunks, threats, blood/broken bones, hint of sexual tension(?), tell me if I missed any warnings!

Pairing; Quackity x reader, female pronouns

[ Male vers. / GN vers. ] [ Part 2 ]

a/n; I hope you guys enjoy it, this was a lot of fun to write! And biggest thank you to @kxrmitty for editing this for me! <3

~~~~

“So, what happened this time?” Foolish sighed, walking alongside Karl and Sapnap. Karl nervously giggled.

“I wasn’t, uh... I wasn’t paying attention and a creeper snuck up on me.” He sheepishly grinned, rubbing the back of his neck as Sapnap snickered, growing quiet as Karl elbowed him. “I’m sorry about taking so much of your time, Foolish. I’ll pay you handsomely though!” The curly-haired man flashed a toothy grin, making Foolish chuckle.

“No, no it’s alright! Besides, I needed to come and speak to you all about the cherry blossoms you wanted added in,” the tall God trailed, motioning for the pair to follow. “I was thinking about adding some further out - y’know showing where the land could begin,” his voice trailed as the wind blew up, causing Sapnap to squint before watching as a crumpled sheet tumbled from Foolish’s pocket. The Blazeborn scooped it up, straightening it out before calling out. “Hey! Foolish! You lost-'' his voice died as he scanned across the sheet, his brows creased as he slid his thumb across the bold, red letters “Las Nevadas'', followed by smaller black letters, “meet tonight’s main entertainment that is sure to rock your world!” His lip turned into a frown as he glared at the dull white, focusing on the letters at the bottom signed BQ.

“Las Nevadas..? BQ..? Oh, shit-” he quickly crumpled the flyer into his own pocket, rushing towards his fiancé and friend. “Karl, I’ll be back! I forgot I needed to go help George with something!” The raven-haired man rambled off, pressing a quick kiss to the brunettes’ cheek before retreating backward and giving a quick wave as the two watched him disappear before returning to their conversation.

“Is Sap always that… Rushed?” Foolish snickered, looking back to Karl who frowned, his brows knit tightly together. “Karl? You alright?” The totem God asked, patting the brunette’s shoulder making him jump.

“Hm? Oh, uh, yeah! Yeah, I’m fine! Let’s get this finished and get to work on those cherry blossoms!” Karl grinned, moving ahead of Foolish, who quickly followed and yet hadn’t seen the look of hurt flash across the fiancé's face.

~~~~

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding..” Sapnap huffed as he stood in front of the towering entrance. Black stone and quartz stood tall as he moved closer, eyes glazing over each block, each light, each flyer that looked identical to the one he retrieved. The bright neons flickering and buzzing with life, even in the late afternoon sun, welcoming him even with the eerie feeling breathing down the back of his neck.

Striding up the steps, he watched as other patrons followed through the large doors. Excitement and sudden thrill-filled his veins as Sap was pushed and maneuvered into the chilled foyer. People pushed and shoved around him, taking off towards the games or towards the sitting areas where a few girls walked through, their clothes bright and alluring while shimmering from the pulsating lights. It felt like a dream..

“First time?” A soft voice called over the roar of the crowd, catching Sapnap’s attention quickly as he moved towards the desk.

“Uh, something like that.. What the hell is this place?” He laughed, shock evident in the wispy breath.

Niki smiled, sitting up more as she flicked some of her pink hair out of her eyes while turning towards the crowded floor. “Las Nevadas is a country that Quackity made, he made this for people to come in and just leave reality for a little bit. He built this place to be safe- no judgment, but no idiocy either. The Casino is one of the biggest organizations right now and I know Mr. Quackity has some big plans for Las Nevadas, so I’m excited to be a part of it.” She explained, tilting her head back towards Sapnap as he blinked.

“He built this?” He blinked again, a huff passing his lips. “Like - Like Big Q, our Quackity, built this place? Not just this, but an entire country?” He flabbergasted, causing Niki to curiously glance at him.

“Well, he wanted to make a good place? I mean from what I’ve learned about Mr. Quackity’s past, he deserves this.. I mean, he’s worked hard! He deserves the happiness returned after giving so much for others to feel happy, don’t you agree, Sapnap?” She flashed her teeth, the small bits of glitter shimmering and shining on her cheeks and nose as he gulped, flashing a quick grin back.

“Everyone deserves happiness, sure, but.. Should it really be at the expense of the people he loves the most?” He scoffed as Niki knitted her brows together, leaning onto the desk as Sapnap frowned.

“I believe you mean loved - past tense, Mr. Halo.” She grit, shifting to sit back down with a huff. “His office is up the stairs and down the hall, I don’t think you’ll miss it.”

Sapnap glared for a moment before moving towards the hallway and disappearing into the neon basked way. Perhaps he’d get answers, or perhaps it’ll be even more heartache…

~~~~

The dark oak door came into view, the fluorescent neons highlighting the cracks and dents as he gulped, feeling the sweat build-up and trickle down from his forehead. Standing there, he frowned as he heard voices coming from inside, the commotion getting louder with every second passing.

“Sir, just give us a few more weeks-” A voice quivered as two laughed, one causing flashbacks to a sweeter, easier time and the other causing a shift in Sapnap’s gut.

“I have given you an extra three weeks! I think that’s plenty of time to make up your side of the bargain.” The second voice coughed, yet you could hear the snarled grin behind it. Sap leaned closer towards the door, lifting his hand and wrapping it against the dark oak. Pushing it open as the room goes silent for a moment.

“Uh.. Hope I’m not interrupting?” Sapnap coughed, standing in the doorway as Quackity cleared his throat, standing from his desk with a crooked smile.

“Sapnap Halo! Long time, no see.. And allow me to finish this up and we can visit.” Big Q sapped, clicking his tongue as he turned his attention back towards the quivering man. “If you’re not willing to meet my demands, then I’m no longer in charge of what he commits..” The scarred man sneered, leaning against his palms as the man shook.

“Sir, please I just need-” a hand shot up, silencing him.

“You’ve had enough time. I’ve given you enough time. I have no control over what he chooses to do with your town, Mayor Liek.” Quackity chuckled, a maddening grin splitting across his face as Sapnap frowned, taking a step back.

“I can come back later-”

“No. He was just leaving.” Big Q grit, his eyes shift towards Punz, who steps out of the corner. “Punz. Escort him to the foyer, I’m afraid he’d get… Distracted.” Punz’s lips split into a grin as he stepped towards the man, clasping a hand on his shaking shoulder before dragging him out of the dark oak chair.

“Of course, Q.. Wouldn’t want him to get lost among these walls.” The blonde snickered, tugging the Mayor towards the door before shoving past Sapnap, flashing the bandana wearer a toothy yet sickening smile. Sapnap stood there, shock evident on his face as he watched the doors close behind Punz. He turned his head back towards Quackity, who settled back into the large leather seat, his hands folded in front of him.

“Sap, please sit.”

“Uh, nice place you got here..” Sap gulps, his gaze continuingly shifting around the room, taking in the pulsing neon lights, the dark oak desk that the dark-headed man sat, and two large windows behind him, showing off the casino floor and it’s patrons.

Quackity breaks into a sly grin. “Thanks, it, uh… It cost me some pretty rings.” Sapnap’s gaze moved back towards his ex, his brows furrowing. His eyes snapped towards Quackity’s left hand, eyes widened at the sight of ring-shaped tan lines.

“What?” He barely uttered, his fingernails curling into the dark oak chairs’ arms. His lips curled into a snarl. Quackity frowned, standing with the roll of his eyes. He stepped around the desk, his fingers grazing the few glossy playing cards on top. “Listen, an.. Extravagant life like this?” Quackity gestured around them, breaking into a large, prideful grin. “It doesn’t come cheap.”

“So, you - you sold our engagement rings?! Are you fucking serious, Big Q?” Sapnap snapped, standing abruptly. Quackity’s smile fell, his hands falling to his sides.

“Why would I want to keep memories of the people who abandoned their own fiance?! You must be living in fucking paradise, pal, because the moment you began construction for Kinoko was the day you chose I meant nothing.. Why would I want to remember that?”

Sapnap stared at him, eyes wide and lips parted before scoffing. “Who the fuck said you meant nothing to us - let me remind you, you walked out on US.”

Quackity squinted his good eye, tsking. “I was making this for us. I was making somewhere safe for our futures together and you assumed I left before I was even gone.” Silence swelled over them, each daring for the other to continue their verbal assault. Sapnap’s mouth opened, only to shut when the doors slammed open revealing a disordered Punz. He gulped loudly before straightening up, running a hand through his blonde hair.

“We have a situation.”

~~~~

“Sir, please,” Charlie sighed, rubbing a napkin across his forehead as he glanced down at the multi-colored cards sitting in his green, shaky hand. “The private dances are to be made upfront at the receptionist desk. You can pay forward and ask Niki, the said receptionist, to call upon the girl of your request.”

“Well, I’m requesting the one right there,” the drunkard slurred towards the girl on the stage. Her hips moving to the upbeat, organ-moving music thumping through the surround sound speakers. Glittering eyes darted towards the pair with a sneer, glossed lips pulling into a pout. Strutting around the metallic pole, she clicked her tongue before wrapping her dominant leg around, keeping a loose grip as she spun, her eyes catching on the pair below her.

“Sir, I understand that you want to request her, however, she’s not available for private dances,” Charlie uttered, clearing his throat. The burly man coughed out a laugh, suddenly leaning into Charlie’s space, flashing his gnarled teeth before spitting. “I can’t understand you when you mutter.”

Charlie flinched as the saliva landed on his face. He cleared his throat, using his napkin to wipe away the alcohol-stained spit. “My apologies, sir,” The slime kin spoke. “What I said was she’s not taking private fucking dances.”

The man flashed a mean grin, his hand shooting out towards Charlie’s collar, wrapping it into a tight fist and lifting him to where his shoes barely grazed the carpet. Charlie’s slimy hand shot out, wrapping around his assaulter's wrist as a whimper left his quivering lips. The man’s unoccupied hand raised as if to strike Charlie before a voice above them called out.

“Excuse me,” the dancer chimed, towering over the two males with a fierce grin. “Can you pretty please drop my little slime?” The man scoffed, dropping Charlie to the carpet with a grunt.

“Oh, so the little whore DOES have a voice! How intriguing.” The man laughed, stepping over Charlie’s trembling body, leaning against the stage where his dollar bills still laid. He reached out to scoop up the ones closest before a glittering maroon heel stamped into the top of his wrist, trapping it against the polished black stone stage. The man cried out, his free hand snatching her ankle, glaring up. “You little bitch! I’ll fucking kill you!”

She furrowed her brows, clicking her tongue before glancing around the casino floor - everyone was watching. Her eyes darted down to the hand on her ankle before shooting back up to his beat red and sweltering face; she scoffed.

“I could say the same about you.” Yanking her leg free before rearing back and slamming her heel into his nose, blood splattering onto the dollar bills and the finely polished stone. “Next time, I’ll charge you extra for wasting my time.”

~~~~

“There’s a situation on the floor,” Punz murmured as Quackity sighed, glancing back at Sapnap, who had yet to leave, before turning back to Punz.

“How bad is it?”

“Blood was spilled.” Quackity’s eyes widened, sneering. “Fuck.. Alright, Sapnap, you need to leave. I have some business to attend to. Don’t let the door kick you on the way out.” He waved off his raven-haired ex before quickly following his second-in-command down the hallway. Sapnap grew wide-eyed only to race after them, quick to complain.

“Like hell, I’m leaving! I don’t care what kind of business you have, Quackity. We’re not done discussing-” he stopped as both the males ahead stopped and turned towards him, causing him to sputter.

“We have nothing else to discuss, Halo.” Quackity spat, staring at his ex - the one who promised him the best future. A future of love, compassion, and safety. He was left to pick himself up and put himself back together. He stared, and stared, and stared before turning and continuing down the hallway. Punz stood there watching Sap for a moment before following after Quackity, this allowing Sapnap to silently yet swiftly follow behind the pair.

Quackity strode across the floor to meet with Purpled and Charlie to discuss the events that took place. His eyes landed on Charlie, who looked shaken up, Purpled offering him a drink. “What the fuck happened.” He sighed as the pair looked at Big Q and his right hand, along with the tail.

“Ace got into a fight-”

“I fucked up and Ace stepped in,” Charlie quickly jumped in, sniffling as Quackity frowned.

“How’d you fuck up, Big C?” He asked carefully, lips twitching into a frown as he squatted down to meet Charlie’s eyes.

“I.. I read the card! I read it just like you and Niki showed me, but he - well, the guy didn’t like that and I think he drank too much and he - he was an angry drunk..”

“C, you’re monologuing..”

“Sorry.. He grabbed me and tried to hit me, but Ace stepped in..” Charlie sighed, shifting his attention to the floor as Quackity nodded, standing straight before glancing at Punz.

“Where’s the dickhead?”

“Already taken care of. Waiting for a private session with Big F.” Punz snickered as Big Q nodded, grinning slightly as they looked up to meet the glimmering eyes of Ace herself.

They both nodded towards her as she stepped into the booth, tossing a bloodied tissue onto the tables’ plastic cover before scoffing. “I need new heels now.” She grits through her teeth, crossing her arms over her bust.

“Of course, Princesa, anything for our main attraction.” Quackity clicked his tongue, grazing his fingers across her bare shoulder before resting at the base of her neck; a comforting touch. She grinned, her lips sparkling under the lights. She reached a handover, resting it on top of Charlie’s with a gentle pat.

“Are you alright, Lil Slime?” She whispered, giving his slimy hand a firm squeeze as he shot her a comforting smile.

“I’m okay, thanks to you, Ace.” His toothy grin caused her to smile widely, gently leaning forward and pressing her stained red lips onto the back of his hand. “We’re a family, Slimy! We’ve got to look out for one another.”

Quackity’s fingertips scraped up her shoulder, reaching up and tucking a loose hair behind her ear, his finger catching the dazzling earring and watching it glitter. “So, Mi Carina.. How loud was the crunch of his bone beneath your heel?” His bottom lip caught between his teeth as she turned towards him, a shit-eating grin spreading across her lips.

“You should’ve heard it, Quackity! I think I scared Purpled.”

“Because you did, Sparky,” Purpled scoffed, knocking a rag into the bloodied tissue and into the bin in his hand. “And Big F is gonna have your head for that blood on his stage - y’know he doesn’t like spilled blood.”

“Well, security should’ve been on the floor,” Ace sang in a sing-song voice, as Punz snorted before stepping around Sapnap, who blinked at the group, his gut twisting as he watched the exchanges.

“I had my best guys on the floor! Besides, I was helping the Bossman.” He spat, no real threat behind it as he moved to lean against the wall next to the booth. Sapnap took a step closer, causing them to shift their gaze to him.

“And whose loudmouth?” Ace snorted, followed by Charlie, Punz, and Quackity with their own chuckles.

“Uh, Amada this is-”

“Quackity, I didn’t come here to meet your side piece or whoever this fucking is,” Sapnap spat, stepping closer and leaning onto the table, making Purpled and Charlie glance at each other, Punz’s brows furrowed as Quackity grew quiet, holding his gaze with the black-eyed Blazeborn.

“I came here to talk about us. And I’d rather not discuss any of this in… Mixed company.” Sap finished his piece, straightening his stance as Quackity stood, his lips pressed into a crease.

“Like I said before, Halo,” he spat the man’s last name, bumping their chest together as Sapnap’s mouth curled into a frown. “We have nothing to discuss. There is no us, and obviously, there never was an us. And this ‘mixed company’, is the best thing that’s happened to me, and if you, or anyone for that matter, tries to come in here and ruin that?” Quackity snorted, leaning close and pressing the pads of his fingers into Sap’s shoulder and shoving him back. “I’m not responsible for you not returning to your little kingdom.”

Sap stepped back, sneering at Quackity while glancing at the others - they all shared the same confident stare. Huffing, he licked his lips before nodding, coughing out a laugh. “I don’t even recognize you, Quackity.” Punz suddenly snickered, causing Sap to turn towards him with a frown. “What the hell are you laughing at, Blondie.”

Punz coughed, halting his laughter before pushing off the wall, now moving closer as Quackity took a step back, holding a smirk of his own.

“I’m laughing because you don’t recognize someone else and, yet, you’re going after an ex. I mean, it’s a little funny, along with a little sad, Sap.” The blonde grinned as he took a step towards Quackity, as Sapnap frowned. “What the hell are you talking about Punz?”

A scoff came from behind the two, making Sap move to look around them as Ace scooted out of the booth, standing beside Quackity whilst shaking her head. “I think you’re right, P.. I think someone’s memory is being influenced by his fiance.”

“How the hell-”

“What? Don’t remember me? That’s a little harsh, Sappy! Bad wouldn’t be happy about this one.” She giggled, leaning further into Quackity as Sap’s eyes grew wide before shooting towards her collarbone. A gnarly and pale scar sat across the thin skin, standing out from her soft tone. An accident that happened back in the Nether - he hadn’t meant to hurt her.

“Y/N..?” His voice was barely about a whisper, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as she shot him a short, soft smile. Taking a step towards him, he suddenly stepped back, his face retorting into one of disgust. “What the fuck happened to you? You.. Oh, God, you look like a whore-”

“Sapnap,” Both Quackity and Punz growled as Y/N shook her head, taking a step closer with a smile.

“I may look like a whore, but at least I’m a loyal one.” She spat, turning back towards the two men as Sapnap arched a brow, scoffing.

“What the hell is that supposed to..” His voice trailed, his eyes switching between both Big Q and his sister. She pressed herself into his side, wrapping her arms around Quackity’s shoulders with an award-winning smile. “Mean… Are - Are you fucking dating my ex-fiance?!”

Y/N broke into a small grin, leaning close to Quackity’s side and pressing a chaste kiss to his scared lips, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist, keeping her pressed against him as she spoke, “well, Dad always said I had… Better and more expensive taste, Sappy.”

~~~~

Tags: @aphroditeandvenus-blog, @paintingportrait, @sourdoughnoodles, @mult1xtr1nna, @trashpiegon, @trixyvixen, @sxturn-0, @thescoutsb13tch, @banghaydencoven, @707xn, @supernaturalboi, @basementfloorfeelings, @june-x-boi, @aloookay,@dreamzluvrr, @theforestcryptid926, @fantasticpurseturtleknight, @cheesysin, @kxrmitty, @socially-blue, @excuijme, @lonley-nightmare, @kittenachu, @alleyesonmendes, @itsoakaa, @saifukus, @alec-lost-bee, @nattsaa, @dayanavmb, @boiciph3r, @leenthepanda, @0a-little-bit-of-everything0, @howdycharlie, @joinotfound, @coreys-riffin, @fa1ryclouds, @honeyimluctus, @tittylover6000, @noctis-yeye, @kiritokunuwu, @novelist2, @sn3k-was-here, @traumatizedladybug, @weepinghollywoodatsupernatural,

a/n; I hope you guys liked it, i have more ideas for this fic to possibly continue so let me know if that’s something you’d like to see! Requests are open as of now and I will hopefully be posting more hc’s/ imagines later on!

Until tomorrow, I hope you have a beautiful day! ~ J

[luuurien]

Vitesse X - Us Ephemeral

(Progressive Breaks, Atmospheric Drum and Bass, Vocal Trance)

Vitesse X's debut on 100% Electronica is a pastel, cerebral collection of progressive breaks and house, atmospheric drum and bass drenched in futuristic neon for one of this year's most outstanding and propulsive electronic albums. Her natural instincts for atmosphere and fiery temperaments make Us Ephemeral a fast-paced and glorious listen.

☆☆☆☆☆

Us Ephemeral is movement embodied. The tap of a foot is found in every hefty-four-on-the-floor, arms waving lightly in the air found in every dreamy vocal melody, every inch of skin contact from body to body on a dancefloor found in the breakneck drum and bass grooves. It's an album that demands your physical presence within the music, to give dance music the treatment it deserves, to give yourself the treatment you deserve. While this is New York artist Jordan Stern's first album under the Vitesse X name for the star-studded 100% Electronica label founded by chillwave heavyweights George Clanton and Negative Gemini, the nine songs that make up Us Ephemeral make it seem as if she's been at this since before she was alive, this eternal and effusive group of songs where not once can you be pulled off the ride. While all these songs are cloudy, midtempo mixes of atmospheric drum and bass, vocal trance, breaks, and even hints of her label's signature chillwave sound, it's the way Stern fixes you in one place while manipulating a neon water show around you that makes Us Ephemeral such a complete package. It's not a revolution for modern electronica, but it's for sure a highlight of it. Stern’s light and ghostly vocal leads pull from the angelic sound of vocal trance even when she's on beats with a more ethereal sound themselves, letting herself hang in the air along with all the other instrumentation around her. This makes the tracks that lean into the atmospheric and liquid D'n'B that much more arresting, and the songs where she pulls from house and EDM hit even harder when the beat gets that extra presence: the title track and Therma Maxima make perfect examples for the former with their urgent percussive grooves atop regal synths and floaty singing while the thrill of rave-ready Activation and Spaces show off how powerful her plainer dance songs can be when the vocals aren't put at the forefront. The trembling bass throbs and scattered techno hi-hats on Centrifuge Me bring a darkness to Us Ephemeral while keeping the momentum forward, showing how much love and control Stern has over her music even when it's constantly referencing the sounds of our past. The foggy and layered sound of Us Ephemeral brings that nostalgia into the light often, but the way it's brought these styles into a new decade gives it an oddly retrofuturist quality, Stern living in the utopian digital world those playing with these sounds back in the 90s might have imagined while creating the sounds fundamental to her work today. As she weaves all these beloved electronic sounds into the cybernetic fabric of Us Ephemeral, it becomes absolutely hers. Stern always makes sure her music is going somewhere, and that alone makes all these songs winners: how the sleek electric guitars on Rash Devices help shape the house/2-step blend with a sumptuous touch and Gated Bloom cuts out the haze in previous tracks to let the breakbeats shine and the mood be more nocturnal, that the full embrace of murky synthpop through Spaces fits the high-contrast sound of the album while swapping out her usual rhythms and penchant slamming straight down on the gas pedal. It's Stern's iron grip over the places that Us Ephemeral heads while always making things feel liquid and loose that allows her to not step too far outside the boundaries of your usual progressive breaks and D'n'B sound while still leaving you in awe of every track here. Someone without her skills could unquestionably make an album that sounds like Us Ephemeral, with all the rippling drum breaks and sultry singing you can get, but it wouldn't ever come close to matching how finely-tuned and glossy Stern can get all her songs to be. And again, Us Ephemeral isn't looking to reshape the world of modern electronica, it's an album made to stimulate and excite, and Stern makes that happen every time. It's how the "go!, go!  go!, go!" vocal chants and watery arpeggios on the title track are to be expected with the atmospheric drum and bass sound yet that doesn't matter a bit in the moment, how the shuffling drum leads and alien vocal croons driving Potential Energy skyward feel both like the soundtrack to a 2000s garage rave and the start of a cyberpunk chase scene, how the bubbly house finale Repress Reprise can be less out there than the other songs and yet end up one of the album's most memorable with its techy space synths and heart-pounding bead; not once is there a time where you question anything Stern is doing because the final product is just that good. It's one of the best albums this year purely off technical execution, tightly-wound dance songs that never lose their footing a single time. Vitesse X knows just what she wants to do, and Us Ephemeral brings her lightning-speed club music to a sublime peak right from the jump.

[ivy-goldrush]

Wednesdays Are The Worst

Dumb things have dumb consequences.

Warnings: Grumpy!Bucky, Bucky being a dick, Angst, Eventual smut?, Slow Burn fic, Maybe a touch of jealous!Bucky, 18+ cause swearing

Word Count: 1633

~

It had been a week since the movie night, with your week being uneventful. On the Tuesday you walked into work met with the smell of peaches, finding out Bucky had been in on Monday and dropped them off, so Mary got to baking with them. Thankful that he had come in when you weren’t working, avoiding any type of awkward encounter.

You only had two shifts this week Tuesday and Wednesday, and then you weren’t in again till Thursday, giving you just over a week off. Thursday was spent running around and doing your food shop however on Friday, you had the definition of a Lazy day. You had messaged Steve a couple of times, but he was busy with work and was doing a lot of overtime. Wanda and Vis were out of town for the weekend visiting friends back home. Maria gad said that she was spending a long-awaited weekend with her girlfriend. You weren’t that close with Sam and Clint yet to hang out with them, meaning you and Nat had decided to spend Saturday night together.  

The two of you had decided to go and hit the clubs for a much needed ‘get lose’ session. Nat had suggested that you get ready around hers so you left yours at half 4 in your comfy clothes and a bag of tonight’s outfit and makeup.

Her place wasn’t exactly walking distance to you, so you planned to take the train as it was only a couple of stops and then a ten-minute walk. The train journey was uneventful, and you ended up listening to music for the journey and the short walk to the apartment. By the time you had made it to her apartment, it was a few minutes past 5. Nat opened the door and immediately engulfed you in a hug, practically squeezing the life out of you.

For only knowing each other a short amount of time, the two of you got along like a house on fire. It was as if the two of you had known each other for your entire life, both having a very similar sense of humour.

Nat had already ordered Chinese for you two each whilst getting ready, along with a very large glass of wine. You quickly got down to getting ready, talking during the process.

“So, y/n, what are you wearing tonight?” Nat shot the question whilst she was focusing on her makeup, as you were taking your clothes out of your bag. “This!” You exclaimed as you span around holding an emerald green satin dress with a drape neck. Nat let out a wolf whistle as she laid eyes on the dress, looking it up and down. “Dam, that’s one hell of a dress. No doubt you’ll be the best dressed there.” Laughing at her comment, you sat down in front of the mirror next to her focusing on your makeup.

The makeup was simple, an everyday base, a slight natural smoky eye, eyeliner and a red lip. Leaving your hair in its curly state, as it cascades down your back, deciding to focus on jewellery pairing the outfit with some simple plain gold rings, a dainty gold bracelet and your gold detailed locket.

Nat’s makeup featured a slightly heavy smoky eye, bronzer and a dark lip. Her short hair was pin straight, framing her face. The only jewellery that she donned was a thick silver chain resting closely to her neck. She was wearing a tight black bodycon with black Louboutin’s and she looked absolutely breath-taking. You quickly slipped on your dress and gold heels, clutching your small matching bag, you took one last look in the mirror.

The both of you were wined, dined and dressed by 6pm, and out the door by quarter past. The two of you walked in tandem, arms linked and giggles erupting from you, as you made your way to one of Nat’s most frequented clubs. You were thankful that she was a regular because it meant that you were able to skip the queue that trailed beside the building.

Upon entering the club, you were met with the heavy base of music, shouting and neon lights. Nat immediately dragged you to the bar at the back of the club and plopping you onto a bar stool. Before you knew it drinks were placed in front of you two, appreciating the liquid courage as you swallowed it down, proceeding to do the same with several others. 

Time was flying by and soon enough you had dragged Nat out onto the dance floor. Your bodies were swaying back and forth to the base on the songs, letting yourselves get lost in the moment and in a sea of people. You felt someone place their hand on your waist, trying to pull you back into them. Your eyes snapped open and your senses were on full alert as you quickly spun around, whipping yourself out of the person’s grasp. You were met, face to face, with some sleazy guy who wore an amused expression and from where you were you could practically smell the alcohol on the guy. “Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing, you playing hard to get.” The words were slurred and the man stumbled as he tried to get closer to you, prompting you to move further away from him, when he grabbed a hold of your arm. “Get the fuck off of me.” The words were spat as you stared directly into the man's eyes. His grip was persistent as you clasped your hand around his wrist, digging your nails into his skin in an attempt to draw blood.  You held his gaze as you proceeded to raise your knee but before you could even carry out your attempt at kneeing him, he was shoved backwards, grip on your arm falling. He was currently being towered over by another guy. “I suggest you get the fuck outta here before I beat your ass.” Full of anger was present in his voice and you swore that if you weren’t surrounded by people, he would be beaten to a pulp right now. The new guy turned half around, showing you his face as he spoke to someone behind you. “Sam?” Your voice was hardly audible within the club.

All of a sudden, you felt yourself being lifted up and pulled out of the dance floor, leaving Sam to deal with the creep. You brought to the bar and gently placed down, allowing you to spin around to see who had taken you out of the situation.  “What the hell, Bucky.” You knew your voice was loud enough for him to hear but he just ignored you, talking to the bartender. “Two waters please.” His voice was gruff, he still refused to look at you as he ran a hand through his hair, whilst you threw yours up at him. 

As soon as the glasses were placed in front of him, he shoved one into your hand, the other in his. This allowed for Bucky’s free hand to secure a place around your waist, helping guide you in the right direction, but as soon as he tried to move you, you protested. “For fucks sake, doll, move your butt.” His voice was slightly strained as if he was holding back but the angry tone was very much evident. “What are you playing at Bucky?” Your voice was just above a whisper and the only response you got from him was a dramatic eye roll. “My God! Why are you so stubborn!” You made a small protest at his outburst, trying to bite your tongue, but not succeeding. “You know what? Fuck you, Barnes! I was nice to you but you were a complete and utter dick to me, so I'm so sorry that I didn’t give you a warm fucking welcome, but your not exactly rainbows and butterflies when you’re giving me whiplash with the way you behave!” With that you made your way in the direction you were originally heading, chest heaving, with Bucky turning and following suit.

It wasn’t long before the two of you arrived at a booth where Clint and Nat were sat talking. Bucky had come to a halt mere centimetres away from you, placing his hand on the small of your back giving you a small push towards them, earning him a muttered “Asshole” from you. The broad man just chuckled and proceeded to whisper in your ear “Fucking brat.”. Instantly, your body turned facing him and you reared yourself back slightly from him, before bringing the glass of water in your hand up and launching the contents at him. You didn’t think you just acted and the result was so worth it. Bucky’s face was dripping wet and his navy and white shirt was soaked. But the expression that was written on his face at first was shock until it turned and clouded into anger. Quickly, you pushed past him muttering that you needed to go to the bathroom.

You hadn’t realised that you had been followed until you heard Nat softly speak. “What happened back there? Are you okay?” The honesty and general concern of her voice was a vast contrast to the truth, uncaring . “I think I’m gonna call it a night, Nat, I’ll just cause more trouble with him, I’ll call myself a cab.” You turned to face the red head with a brave face. ��I’m fine honestly, just tired that’s all.” You smiled smally at her. She had agreed to stay with you until the car arrived and walked you out to say goodbye. Soon afterward, you were seated in the cab and shortly on your way home. Naïvely hoping that things would just settle down on their own.

~

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[starr-fall-knight-rise]

HASO, “A Ship Named Infinity.”

Hope you all enjoy your morning :)

Geea and Beatrice made their way from the underground bar as the music was still playing. Beatrice had one of her arms hooked through one Geea’s lower left, and together they sauntered slowly up through A136 and towards the docking area. Beatrice flipped a knife between her fingers as she did, “I don’t see why you are trusting this guy.” Beatrice grunted, “He could just as easily hail the Omen as soon as we got close and tell them that they have been hijacked.”

Geea shook her head, “No, he wouldn't, and i will make sure of that.” 

Beatrice looked up at her and she hummed rather smuggly, “If he tries anything, I release all of his criminal activities to the GA and UNSC. there is nothing that he can do about it, besides we are going to have our crew on his ship as well, and they should be able to keep him in line.

Beatrice nodded, though she didn’t seem entirely reassured.

Together the two of them made their way up through the winding passages, and clattering stairways until they eventually made it to the main docking bay. The room was filled with twenty or so docked shuttles, and looking around they found captain Kell sitting with some of his crew members outside a waiting shuttle.

The men and women that stood behind him were….. well , they were no joke.

They seemed fit and capable, though most of them sported some sort of metal attachments.

Captain Kell stood to greet them, and in this lighting the two of them were able to give him a more thorough once over.

The man was still wearing his long brown coat, and the black hood was still resting on his head though it didn’t shadow his face so much in this room. She saw strands of tawny hair peeping out from under the front of his hood. As she had seen before, one side of his face was covered by mechanical components, primarily the right eye, the cheek and down onto the lower jaw. His remaining good eye was a muddyish brown.

Walking up to stand before him it was clear that the man was tall, over six feet to be certain and well muscled, which Geea couldn’t help but find odd in a pirate. Sure pirates did some hard work, but mostly they followed the motto of work smarter not harder, and their life of heavy drinking didn’t exactly lend to people with bodies like his.

Under his jacket he wore a white shirt and a chin around his neck with some sort of arrowhead attached to the end.

His boots were high and tall, making her wonder if he was trying to make himself look taller than he really was. 

She could still see the glittering metal of his right hand as he moved to greet them.

The men behind him eyed them suspiciously. One was shorter and darker than the captain but just as well muscled. He was wearing heavy cargo pants, though his chest was mostly bare except for some sort of bandelier he carried over one shoulder, though it was his honey gold eyes that made it very clear he had no issue with  beating them up and stealing their lunch money.

The woman just off to his right was short and bald with extremely pale skin and bluish eyes, but she had the look of someone who you didn’t fuck with no princaple.

Geea noticed Beatrice eyeing her and tried to ignore it. B was always trying to make her jealous, and she didn’t want to give her that sort of satisfaction.

Captain Kell stepped forward, “Ladies.” He nodded before turning to wave a hand at his two bodyguards, “This here is Angelo.” He said pointing first at the man and then at the woman, “And that is Mace.” The two didn’t even nod their heads in acknowledgement, but looked on at hem in suspicion and distrust.

That was the way of the pirate though.

There was a sharp thudding, and out from behind the shuttle came a tall hulking figure at nearly nine feet tall.

The large Drev wiped grease from his hands as he stepped into place beside his three human companions. His carapace was a muddy black color with a red undertone. Geea raised her head in mild disdain for his coloring, though he didn’t seem to care what she thought.

“And this is our associate Noble.”

The Drev crossed two of his arms over his chest as he looked them over.

“The shuttle ready?” the captain asked.

The Drev nodded, “Yes, the components are clear to fly. That shake was from our right underwing stabilizer, though it was just a little loose.”

“Good.”

He motioned the two of them to follow him into the rusty little shuttle, and they strapped into the seats behind the pilot’s chair buckling in across from Angelo, Mace and Noble, all who eyed them with more than a measure of mistrust and suspicion. The captain for his part, seemed the most pleasant and sociable out of the groop, though he took his seat in the captain’s chair and called in to be let into atmosphere .

The group of them felt it as the struts gifted off the ground, and they hovered slowly over to one of the landing tubes leading up to the surface of the planet.

The doors to the docking bay opened revealing a long, water stained tunnel before them.

“Thirty minutes until the next fire wall comes, so you should be safe.”

He acknowledged the radio, and slowly began to lift them up through the long dark tunnel.

As they approached the top, the heavy steel door that kept them safe from the elements of the A1 death plant opened up. 

There was a heavy mist outside causing condensation to appear on their front windscreen as they rose into the night. In the distance, the sun was just beginning to rise, and from here thre group of them could see the fast approaching firewall on the horizon.

The ground below them was still wet, but that would change soon as rising temperatures caused the water to burn off into steam and return to the atmosphere to start the cycle again.

However, they didn’t stay long enough to watch the spectacle, and Captain piloted them easily upward through the cloud cover.

Geea had to admit that the man was a handy pilot. That was the steadiest flight she had ever had from the surface.

Either that or he just got lucky.

When he exited the atmosphere, he hurriedly made contact with the bridge of his ship. They approached slowly, and she could see the small ship with its sharp lines and black painted hull, better to blend into the background of space. It wasn’t a large ship by any means but it was still a good enough size that she expected it to have at least a class B warp drive.

They docked some minutes later, and the soundless environment around them was suddenly sucked away as a rush of air flooded the airlock. Red lights highlighted their faces as the Captain began powering down the ship. The others unbuckled their seatbelts  and the back ramp opened up for them.

The captain followed last from the ship, stepping onto the deck as the airlock doors opened into the docking and cargo bay.

It was…. Almost exactly how she expected it to be.

The ship was small enough that most of the rooms doubled for something, and men and women lounged around the small cargo space just as they might on her own ship. A few of them were tying down tarps over piles of unknown goods, while others were taking manifest from inside open crates with the UNSC seal stamped on them.

She was surprised to see that, thinking that the man was too much of a coward to pirate goods from the UNSC itself, but it seemed that she was mostly wrong.

The captain spread his hands wide and turned to look at them, “Welcome to the Infinity.”

Men and women in the cargo bay sat up and turned to look at the newcomers, and immediately Geea could see that the crew was a diverse one with Tesraki Celzex Drev, and even the odd Burg, though this  one was one of those strangle Male burg with the gossamer wings.

He turned to look at the crew, “And crew say hello to our new employers for the next month or so.”

The room shifted rather uncomfortably.

“Since when did we do mercenary work?” Someone shouted from the crowd.

The captain grunted under his breath, “They made me offer I couldn’t refuse.” Then he straightened up, “Either way play nice, and don’t get into fights or I WILL shoot you out the airlock. We should be expecting more of their crew boarding soon, so make room, and get to know each other.”

He walked past the group of them without another word, and marched off towards the font of the ship.

Geera and B followed after him their boots clattering on the floor underneath them.

“I am not instilled with a great amount of confidence that your men will behave.” Geea said 

The captain turned to look at her, and the appriture of his robotic eye narrowed, “Look lady, you are the one who came and threatened ME. If anyone here shouldn’t be trusted it is YOU.” He turned on his boot heel and marched up the next hallway, pushing through the doors and  onto the bridge, where he took his seat in the waiting captain’s chair.

The ship itself was a bit old and rickety, and the chair had a bit too much glowing neon on it for her liking, but when he ordered his men to get to work, they worked seamlessly as if they had done it thousands of times before.

Geea had to admit, grudgingly of course, that it was the most disciplined pirate ship she had ever seen. There was no arguing or backtallking or arguing or people trying to shirk their duties, the men and women here worked as if they were trained for it, like those fancy crews she had seen aboard some of the GA and UNSC ships.

This was probably why the captain came so highly recommended.

The Celzex on his shoulder hopped down from his position and into a small seat just off to the side of the captain’s chair. From over the top of his furry head, she could see that he was busy running diagnostics on the weapons systems.

That made her smile.

To think that they would have Celzex weapons on their side was rather thrilling. She, and no one else she knew had ever been able to acquire weapons from the fuzzy little creatures. They may have been willing to join pirating crews, but most of them were still loyal to some stupid and unknown code of honor that didn’t allow them to just spread their technology around, so they kept their mouths tight shut to the annoyance of everyone.

She wondered how this particular human had gained the trust of the Celzex enough to acquire their weapons. In fact, she had never seen a Celzex wit on a man’s shoulder like that, and doubted that was something the Celzex had been willing to do on their first meeting.

This human was becoming more and more interesting the more that she watched him.

He reached out with a gloved hand and flicked the switches on the console before him. He piloted this craft with the same ease in which he had piloted the shuttle.

The Com burst to life just then, “Infinity this is War preparing to dock.”

The captain turned to look at her over his chari, “You named your ship war?”

B snorted at the derision on his face, “She just likes being able to say ‘ This is war” whenever she goes to dock.”

Geea ground her teeth, and Captain kell rolled his eyes as he turned back to initiate the docking sequence, “Waar, this is infinity, please move to docking port A and standby for confirmation.”

He let go of the transmission and looked over at Geea skeptically, “You name your ship like an idiot.”

She didn’t like that much hands balling into fists though B traced a consoling hand over her back.

“Watch your mouth.” She growled, low in her throat.

The man did not seem at all worried by her denouncement of him, “Naming a ship is an art. You have to know her, to feel her. You have to walk around and fly in her to get a real understanding for what she means. It isn’t just about slapping a word on her. Just like you would name your son or your daughter you have to know what she iis about BEFORE you name her.”

Geea rolled her eyes at the sudden fervor in the man’s voice.

She honestly couldn’t give a shit what a ship was named as lng as it worked.

There was a sharp thudd through the hull as her ship docked, and she turned to go and greet her men down in the cargo bay leaving the Captain to contemplate his stupid philosophies on how to properly name a ship.

Making eye contact with him one last time, she couldn’t help but notice the strange fervor she saw in his eyes when he spoke about ships. This was a man, she thought, sho loved being in space.

She herself didn’t mind it so much, but when she looked out the window of a ship, all she saw were stars.

There was nothing particularly beautiful about it.

Together her and B walked into the cargo bay where her men were slowly filtering onto the ship

She only need around twenty of them, sure that that would be enough when paired with captain Kell’s crew.

They didn’t plan a big complex assault after all.

Hopefully, all of this would be done while most of the crew of the Omen were sleeping and they would be on and gone before the shit hit the fan.

Geea spent the next few hours helping her crew settling onto the ship warning them that if they caused any trouble she was going to hurt them. Of course they would listen to her, they were afraid of her and that is what a good leader needed to keep her men in check. Fear was generally the best way to control people she found, and while they didn’t like being ordered around, they would rather do what she said then suffer the consequences.

From there she went to find Captain kell again , and found hm in some sort of meeting room just off the bridge perusing a star map with some of his men and women from the bridge .

“UNSC channels indicate their last known location to be in this area.” A woman was saying zooming in on a cluster of stars as he did, “Now It seems to me that in this area.” she motioned with a wide circle, “We can send out scanning probes to look for his ship. It shouldn’t take too long and the probes aren't likely to catch the attention of a ship that big. I would suggest using a distress beacon to lure them into the nearby nebulae and then use that as a distraction to dock quietly.. Now the Omen is so large that it actually works to our advantage. It has multiple cargo bays and multiple docking bays, all of which have their own set of airlocks.”

There was a sharp blip in the image as the woman pulled up a schematic of the ship.

She heard B mummer in surprise from behind her.

“How did you get that.”

Captain Kell turned to look at her, and the woman crossed her arms seeming rather annoyed to have been interrupted.

Captain kell motioned to the schematic, “What, you think we only deal in goods.” he shook his head slowly, “No no, schematics and information are easy enough to get your hands on if you know where to look.” He nodded towards the hologram, “I bought these schematics off a guy at the Europa station a few years after it was launched. The guy was drunk, but he had been an engineer that worked on it before it was deployed.”

He turned back to the woman, “You were saying?”

She huffed and continued, “Well, from the information I have been able to gather, the primary cargo bays are here and here below the ship, they would be easy enough to bring a small ship up and usie the hacking equipment to open their airlock without being noticed and send a small team inside.”

She turned to look at Geea, “We only need a small team to do what you are suggesting.”

She glanced back at the map, “The only problem with this plan is that the safest place to board is also the furthest location away from the Admiral’s quarters which would be on the top deck right here.” She jabbed a finger at the upper deck, so we are going to have to plan this and our rout up if we want to avoid being spotted.”

Geea nodded, “The maintenance tunnels should be our best bet.’

Captain Kell tapped his chin, “Both yes and no I think. There will be less security there, sure, but the people most likely to be up are those in engineering, and they would spend most of their time in the maintenance tunnels.”

There was a nod of agreement from the others.

“Better to deal with a few nerdy engineers than highly trained marines patrolling the halls.” Geea said 

Captain kell nodded slowly and behind him Angelo snorted rather derisively as if the idea of a well-trained marine struck him as funny somehow.

Across  the table from him Mace was smirking right along with him.

Geea didn’t like those two, there was something about them that made her want to punch them in the face, but she kept her cool and continued to listen to the plan as the group gathered around each other .

She was mostly surprised at what she saw. The crew of this ship was well functional, worked well together, were relatively professional, followed their captain and even seemed to admire him. It was something she had never seen on a pirate ship before. The way they worked together was almost militaristic, but she supposed that is why they had survived so long and gotten so good at what they did.

She frowned as she thought about it wondering why her crew didn’t behave this way. Her crew tended to be lazy slackers most of the time, only working when they wanted to which was hardly ever

But these people did their jobs as if…. Well as if they actually liked them and respected their captain.

See eyed Captain Kell doubtfully. 

They must have been REALLY afraid of him to follow him like this.

She wondered what he did yo people who disobeyed him

[bnhayyy]

The Call (4)

Chapter Title: Bonds

Wordcount: 5.8k

Fic Tag: Click

Ao3 Link: Click

Chapter Summary: Mikasa has a rough patrol with Annie, which managed to lead into a good day.

Notes: Ymir is far too fun to write. I can’t include her in every chapter, but my god.. I want to. Also! I would like to offer a big thank you to Celadon for continuing to help me with story planning as well as to Gabey and Cerdine for doing a spelling/grammar beta. Also, if you enjoy this fic, please consider sending me an ask, leaving a comment, or donating to my ko-fi!

Mikasa knew the difference a few nights of proper rest could make. However, there was a difference between knowing through memories that seemed to grow ever-distant and allowing herself to experience it once again. She felt... refreshed wasn't quite the word. It wasn't strong enough to describe the sensation that had grasped her. Even though her break had been interrupted by bouts of studying as she tried to play catch-up on her schoolwork, she still felt like new life had been breathed into her lungs.

The most unbelievable part? She had only allowed herself three nights. Somehow, those three nights had made a world of difference.

No, not 'somehow'. She knew exactly how and why.

Three nights of rest had done Mikasa a world of improvement because Erwin, Armin, and Annie were right. She had been wearing herself too thin.

Perhaps it was a little childish of her, but she didn't plan on admitting it to any of them. She didn't want to risk being faced with smugness - or worse yet - relief. It was bad enough that Eren had been following her around and shooting her looks of pleasure and pride since she woke up that morning. The real people in her life would simply have to be content with her changing her behavior and not making a big deal of it.

Or at least, changing her behavior as much as possible. Frequent breaks and regular relaxation time simply weren't something that a slayer could afford. Even if she wasn't alone, she would never be able to have a leisurely life.

However, it would be a lie to say that she had not started considering Annie's offer more seriously. She still didn't know if she could trust her, but she had already seen the wisdom in giving her a chance. This had added an element of temptation to that wisdom.

It was a Thursday, which meant no trigonometry. That meant her last class was at four in the afternoon, long before the sunset. She always left her slaying supplies at home on Thursdays and walked home to get them after class. It was never much of a problem for her. However, today it felt off. That temptation was following her, nipping at her heel with every step home.

She refused to acknowledge it outright. However, as it continued to nag at her, she decided that she could do something in the vicinity of giving in. She could acknowledge Annie's helpfulness enough to pay her a basic courtesy.

Mikasa nodded to herself. Eren gave her an odd look, but didn't comment.

His silence lasted until she had gone home, collected her things, and immediately went back to the door.

"Mikasa?" Eren was looking out the window, where it was still bright and sunny. His query was as plain as if he had spelled it out in neon technicolor.

Mikasa paused, hand on the doorknob, unsure of if she wanted to slump forward or sigh. In the end, she did neither. "I can start patrolling again," she said. "I should let Annie know before she wastes her time."

That was all. It was a sign of appreciation, an implication that she really was willing to consider Annie's offer, but nothing more. It wasn't a promise. It wasn't Mikasa letting anyone into her life beyond what she was forced to. It was just common courtesy.

Eren nodded, a playful glimmer in his eyes. Mikasa frowned, searching his gaze for vacancy or condemnation. She found none.

One of the odd things about Eren was that there seemed to be two different versions of him. Sometimes, he was distant and difficult to get a read on, cold, haunting, and unnatural. It was easy to remember that he was a hallucination when he was like that. Other times, however, he was animated and passionate, emotive and deceptively full of life. Whenever he was like that, she was sometimes tempted to think of him as an imaginary friend rather than a hallucination, for the other term began to feel irrationally cruel.

Because whenever he was like that, he reminded her of the boy she hadn't been able to save. He was easy to talk to as long as  he was like this. Too easy. If it was consistent, she might find herself faced with a temptation that was even more dangerous than the one she was currently grappling with and far harder to resist.

Mikasa might start pretending that he was really there.

She supposed it was a good thing that he manifested in the other state fairly often. As such, even in the moments where she gave in and almost let herself pretend, she could rest assured that they would only ever be moments.

"You know, I think you and Annie could be friends if you tried to get along," he remarked.

Mikasa released the doorknob as she turned to frown at him. There had been some tension between her and Annie so far, but not anything that she would classify as not getting along. Instead of pointing that out, she asked, "What makes you say that?"

"You're pretty similar, even without the slayer thing." Eren grinned. "You could probably be pretty scary together."

Mikasa raised an eyebrow. "How do you know that?"

Eren faltered, his grin fading. "Ah," he said. "I just... I have a feeling."

In other words, it was just nice words in a voice that she had never stopped wanting to hear. Mikasa offered him a tiny, bittersweet smile. "We'll see," she murmured

"I'm glad that you're giving her a chance," he added.

Mikasa's breath caught in her throat as a thought occurred to her, unwanted and unbeneficial, but undeniable in how bright and fervently it manifested.

Would the real Eren want her to give Annie a chance? Would she even have a reason to?

Mikasa's gaze drifted then, past the illusion she was speaking with, as far into the depths of her apartment as she could look without turning her head. She refused to allow herself to turn her head, because if she did, she knew that she'd end up wandering back into the depths of her apartment, over to the chest that she kept her weapons in. She'd end up digging through it until she reached the thing buried at the bottom. And then she'd be too lost in guilt and grief to talk to anyone.

No. It had been over five years since that day, and she was a slayer. She had responsibilities that she couldn't neglect in favor of a memory. Even if that memory refused to let her go.

Besides, she had to talk to Annie. Speaking of which...

"Eren," Mikasa began, placing her hand back on the doorknob. "When I'm with Annie, do you think you can-"

"Go somewhere else?" Eren finished. Mikasa didn't let herself look at him, at the sad glimmer she was sure she'd notice if she did. He was painfully easy to read whenever he was like this.

"Yeah," Mikasa said. "It'll be easier without any distractions."

"Alright," Eren said. "Sure. I'll just..." He trailed off.

Despite her better judgment, Mikasa looked in his direction, only to see that he was already gone.

That was another thing about Eren. Hallucinations normally didn't go away when you asked them to, but sometimes he did.

If only it didn't make her feel so rotten.

*

Mikasa didn't allow herself to hesitate. With hesitation would come doubt, and doubt would make it too easy for her to turn around and run away. Instead, she walked onto the porch with all the ease and confidence that she didn't feel and raised her hand to knock on the door before she had even finished walking. Her feet stilled and she gave a single sharp rap with her knuckles.

She didn't need to knock a second time. Bertolt opened the door not thirty seconds later. Surprise flickered across his face when he saw her. It lingered as a friendly smile made its way across his face. Unsurprising. Mikasa knew that she hadn't exactly seemed like the friendliest person at their first meeting, and... no. Even if he had been at Erwin's meeting, she hadn't exactly been in a good mood then either. It likely wouldn't have done anything to help his impression of her.

She allowed herself to feel guilty for half a second before pushing the sensation back down.

"Mikasa," Bertolt greeted. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "Is Annie there?"

"Yeah," Bertolt said. "I'll go get her." He began to turn around, only to pause, a frown flickering across his face. Looking back at Mikasa, he asked, "You didn't exchange phone numbers?"

Mikasa paused. "Uh. I..." Didn't think about it. "Don't use my phone that often," she said.

Her cheeks felt warm. Not warm enough for her to worry that she was blushing, but certainly warmer than she would have liked.

Bertolt offered her a small, sympathetic smile. "I know Annie forgets stuff like that all the time," he said.

Mikasa frowned; she couldn't tell if that was supposed to be a callout or not, and if so, whether it was her poor social skills being highlighted or Annie's. It seemed that she wasn't going to find out either. Before she could decide if she wanted to go ahead and ask, Bertolt had turned around and was walking away. However, he hesitated just before disappearing down the hallway.

"Ah, you can come in, by the way," he said.

With that, he was gone.

Mikasa hesitantly stepped into the house. It felt better than standing out by the doorway. At least, it did at first. A few moments of awkwardly lingering in the hallway were enough to make her reconsider.

Thankfully, those few moments didn't get to stretch into anything longer. Footsteps soon began to echo through the little household, making a warm ball of relief blossom in her chest and spread out into her shoulders, driving her to roll them and loosen her posture. The sound was quiet, but what she had seen of Annie showed that she was a light, agile individual. That meant that she wasn't trying to muffle her footsteps, which was reassuring for a reason that she couldn't put her finger on. More importantly, it sounded distinctly like they were heading her way.

Annie appeared a moment later. The first thing Mikasa noticed was that Bertolt hadn't returned with her. The second was that Annie was dressed casually, but also in clothes that looked like they could take a beating. That meant that she was almost definitely planning on going on patrol tonight.

It was probably a good thing that Mikasa had stopped by to give her the news, then.

When the other slayer came to a stop a few feet away from her, Mikasa said, "I'm feeling better now."

Annie sighed. "Right to the point," she muttered.

Mikasa frowned. "I didn't think you were opposed to that," she said.

"I'm not," came Annie's response. "But I find it hard to believe that a few nights is all it would take to recover from the state you were in."

Her words were placid, spoken in a way that made it sound like they could be concern or condescension, and Mikasa couldn't tell which it was supposed to be for the life of her. She didn't know if she should smile or clench her jaw. As such, she did neither and simply offered a wary, "I'm a slayer. I recover quickly."

"I know how quickly slayers recover," Annie said. "I know that there's a mental weight as well as a physical."

"Nothing that I can't handle."

Silence as their eyes met. She didn't know how many seconds passed as they stared each other down. When Annie finally sighed and looked up at the ceiling, it didn't even feel like a victory. It couldn't be; she could tell that Annie hadn't truly given up nor relented. She was just looking for an easier path.

"You think you're ready to start patrolling again?" Annie asked, still staring up at the ceiling. An obvious question, which was probably why she didn't wait for a response. "Then go with me tonight."

Mikasa narrowed her eyes. "I don't need a babysitter," she said.

"Good, because I don't babysit." Annie lowered her gaze to give Mikasa a once-over. "You might be right, but you might also be overestimating yourself because you feel better than you did before."

Mikasa moved to protest, and Annie's eyes narrowed into ice-blue slits. "Am I wrong?" she pressed.

Mikasa faltered.

"Tell me I'm wrong," Annie pushed. "If you can honestly tell me that you're in top shape, that there is no chance that you're jumping the gun, then I'll stay home and you can go patrolling at home. But if there is any chance that you aren't at your best, then be smart. Let me support you, and least for tonight."

Mikasa let out a long breath, but managed to refrain from averting her gaze. "Fine," she said. "Meet me at the cemetery in two hours."

Annie nodded. For a moment, that looked like it would be that. However, before Mikasa could start to leave, she reached into her pants pocket and pulled out a scrap of paper. "Here," she said, thrusting it over to Mikasa. "My number."

A quick glance down revealed that it was, indeed, a phone number. "Did you have this written?" Mikasa asked.

"The walls here are thin," Annie said. "I overheard you and Bertolt. Now he can't fret about proper communication."

The corners of Mikasa's lips twitched up. "Smart," she murmured.

"Practiced," Annie corrected. "Bertolt likes to fuss."

Like Armin, Mikasa thought. Except she and Armin weren't as close as Annie and Bertolt probably were. They couldn't be.

Putting the piece of paper in her pocket, Mikasa nodded. "I'll text you before I set out."

"I'll hold you to it," Annie said.

***

Two hours later, Mikasa and Annie met in front of the cemetery. Eren was still conspicuously absent, which brought about a cocktail of emotions that Mikasa decided to simplify and call relief. Patrolling with someone else was bound to be stressful and off-putting as it was. She didn't want the extra difficulty that would come from trying to tune out a voice that only she could hear.

They worked in silence at first, the term "worked" being used very loosely. The lack of tangible demonic activity meant that they mostly walked through the cemetery on the off chance that something would appear.

About half an hour in, Mikasa cast Annie a pensive glance. She wondered if Paradis would see an uptick in demonic activity once word spread that there were two slayers. Most supernatural beings with half a functional mind would avoid a city that had a slayer, let alone two. Yet there were still plenty who wanted to test their strength or taste the glory of killing a slayer. Aggressive demons, particularly unhinged magical practitioners, even particularly strong vampires like...

"So," a drawling voice cut through the night, its tone caught somewhere between bored and smug. "You know each other after all."

...Ymir.

The reaction was instantaneous. Annie pulled the stake out of her pocket and took a step forward the vampire, only for Mikasa to reach out and grab the other slayer by the forearm. Annie whipped her head around to glare at her, but Mikasa looked beyond her glare, at Ymir, as she hissed, "Don't. She's the one I was talking about."

Annie's eyes shifted just enough to shoot Ymir a wary look. "At the meeting?" she murmured.

"Yes." The vampire grinned, and Mikasa lowered her voice as she added, "She's stronger than the others."

"Awww," Ymir cooed. "You've been talking about me? I'm flattered." She waltzed a few steps over to a gravestone, where she sat down and shot them a laughing grin. "Want to do an interview? I'd be down."

Irritation spiked through Mikasa at the vampire's words, sharply enough that she almost grit her teeth. It was some small consolation that Annie seemed similarly affected by her blithe attitude, but was a little less talented at hiding that it bothered her. One of her eyes twitched just before she gave the vampire a thoroughly unimpressed look.

"She won't tell us anything useful," Mikasa murmured. "We'll just be wasting time."

Wasting time - just like they already were by standing there talking about it instead of acting. She couldn't let Annie go charging blindly at Ymir expecting just another vampire, but they couldn't do nothing.

"I know she won't," Annie whispered. "The ones like her never do." She paused, just for long enough to shoot another quick glance at the vampire lounging on the gravestone, then added, "We need a plan."

"Or you could just ignore me," Ymir called, a hint of irritation seeping into her voice. "That sounds like a fun way to spend the night."

"We flank her," Mikasa instructed."You go left, I go right."

Annie frowned, a faint downward twitch of her lips, and something flickered in her gaze. It made Mikasa pause. For a second, the air lit up with tension as she waited for the protest that she was sure was coming.

It was killed by a single decisive nod from Annie. "Alright," she said.

Annie stepped to the side and turned around so that they were both facing Ymir. As Annie adjusted her grip on her stake, Mikasa shifted her bag down her arm so that she could take her crossbow out. It was already prepped and loaded. The nature of the weapon meant that she would have to pause to reload if her first bolt didn't hit. That didn't stop it from being an effective weapon that allowed her to keep a distance from her opponent while providing an intimidating air that often bought her a few extra seconds.

Normally. She didn't trust that an intimidating weapon would have much of an effect on Ymir. The crossbow's delay coupled with the vampire's speed meant that she might well have failed if she didn't manage to hit her with her first bolt. Even so, their previous encounter made her feel like long-distance combat was the better route with Ymir. Enough so that she couldn't help but be a little wary at the sight of Annie with her stake.

At that moment, Mikasa regretted that she had taken this long to remember how few supplies Annie seemed to have on her during their first encounter. She would have pushed her to prepare better if she had. It was too late to deal with that now though. She'd just have to hope that Annie would take her cues and do the smart thing, dive in for quick hits at the vampire before pulling back out.

Meanwhile, Ymir sighed. She got off the gravestone and rolled her shoulders with all the careless grace of a cat. "I told you last time that I'm not ready for a fight, Ackerman," she said. "What makes you think that I'd want to take both of you on at once?"

Her voice was casual in a way that bordered on arrogance. Mikasa noticed how it made Annie's shoulders stiffen subtly out of the corner of her eyes.

"You don't get a choice," the other slayer said.

Ymir raised an eyebrow. "Bet?"

And then they were moving. Annie charged forward and to the left while Mikasa slid to the right. Ymir, meanwhile, ran away. Away, but not out. The vampire didn't seem to be aiming to get out of the cemetery. It was foolish of her, but foolish in a way that was to their advantage.

Mikasa didn't try to aim quite yet. With both herself and Ymir running, it would be a wasted shot. Annie didn't have that hindrance. As she drew in close to Ymir, she reached into her jacket pocket with her free hand and drew out a knife. Putting on a burst of speed, she managed to get mere inches from the vampire and pulled up her knife to slash across her throat -

- Only for Ymir to come to a dead stop and duck. Annie's own momentum made her continue several paces forward and slash at empty air. At that time, Mikasa readied her crossbow. However, just as her weapon lined up with her target's heart, there was a flash of movement. Quick as a blink, Ymir rushed several steps back, leaving Annie standing in the line of Mikasa's crossbow, stake primed and frustration scrawled across her face.

"You guys really suck at this teamwork thing," Ymir called in a laughing voice. She was still running - not away, but circling the area like a vulture. Mikasa spun frantically as she tried to keep up with her, trying and failing to take aim. She was moving too quickly for her to shoot at her and throwing too many unpredictable twists and turns into her path for her to predict where she would be in a few moments. Annie, who had fallen back into pursuit, was hot on her heels - but not enough. There were simply too many routes for the vampire to escape.

"You seem like you're good at close combat," Ymir told Annie. "Doesn't mean a thing if you can't get close to your opponent though."

As Mikasa gave up on her previous tactic and opened her bag to exchange her crossbow for a stake, Ymir crowed, "And you." The vampire's voice had taken on a note of exhilarated glee. It reminded her of a cat toying with a mouse - or a hawk who knew that the cat couldn't catch it. "Crossbows are a lot harder to use on someone who's actively being chased. Although it looks like you've finally realized that."

Stake in hand, Mikasa charged on Ymir. It got a loud, barking laugh from the vampire. "Too late! Should've planned ahead of time." As she spoke, she twisted around and changed directions. Now she wasn't just running in circles - now she was heading out of the cemetery.

Fuck. Mikasa forced herself to run a little faster. She drew up the right while Annie went to the left. Once they were only a few feet behind Ymir, they both began to draw inward without exchanging a word.

For one intense, pulsating moment, it looked like they would catch her. They both had their stakes. They seemed to have the same thought. The vampire looked like she was lagging.

Then, when they were only a foot behind her, Ymir laughed and put on another burst of speed. Annie cursed and Mikasa grit her teeth, both pushing themselves to try and keep up.

It was no use. When Ymir reached the edge of the cemetery and jumped over the fence, disappearing across the street and into a line of houses in a span of roughly ten seconds, they knew it was over.

Annie was the first to stop, digging her heel into the ground and letting herself slide to a halt. Meanwhile, Mikasa slowed down, but didn't stop until she came up to the fence itself. There, she rested a hand on one of the wrought-iron bars and stared out at where the vampire had disappeared.

"She was right," Annie said.

When Mikasa didn't say anything, the other slayer continued. "We weren't in sync. We should have decided on one fighting style before going after her."

"You were going to say something," Mikasa said, still not looking at Annie. "Before we went after her. You were going to say something. What was it?"

Annie didn't say anything.

Mikasa turned around to look at her. The other slayer seemed impassive for the most part, but the way she averted her gaze gave her the sense that she was second-guessing whatever she was going to say.

That wouldn't do. Enough mistakes had already been made today. If what the other slayer had to say might turn out to be useful...

"Annie?" Mikasa pressed.

"I was going to say that we shouldn't fight her tonight," Annie admitted. "I meant that we need a long-term plan if she really is that much stronger than other vampires."

Mikasa frowned. "She's the one who-"

"I know," Annie interrupted. "That's why I didn't say it."

Mikasa gazed back out at where the vampire had disappeared. It grated her to know that they had missed an opportunity to take care of Ymir, that she hadn't been able to swoop in and put her down like she usually did. She was also certain that doing nothing wouldn't have helped. But at the same time...

"We do need a plan," Mikasa acknowledged.

"We need to be on the same page the next time we see her," Annie said.

The same page. That meant the same tactic.

"Long-range combat is safer, but unless we can catch her off-guard, she might be too fast for it," Mikasa said, looking back at Annie. "Toward the end, I think she only slowed down to mess with us."

"But we were doing better," Annie pointed out.

Mikasa resisted the urge to look away again. "We were," she said.

"So if she approaches us again, we should both focus on close-range combat," Annie said.

Mikasa stared at her. There was something a little aggravating about the certainty with which she said it, the confident gleam in her eyes and the way she held her head high. She couldn't tell if Annie thought that Mikasa had made a mistake, but she was definitely confident that her method was the right one for the situation.

It was aggravating. It was challenging. It was also, as she stared at her, more than a little captivating.

There weren't many people who were able or willing to go toe to toe with her.

Pushing the unusual feeling down, Mikasa forced herself to do one of the most difficult things that she possibly could. 

"Alright," she conceded.

Annie gave a small nod before slowly turning around to head back into the graveyard.

They still had a long night ahead of them.

***

They encountered three more vampires over the course of the patrol; a busy night by Paradis standards. Unlike Ymir, the next two were dispatched quickly and easily.

By the time they killed the final vampire, it was almost a comfort to have Annie at her back.

***

Mikasa wouldn't say that she was in high spirits the next day. Such a thing was impossible. Despite the success of the patrol as they approached the end of the night, their failure to kill Ymir still weighed on her.

And yet...

And yet, for some unknowable reason, the world felt a little brighter.

That brightness was still lingering by the time her afternoon history class ended. It was the reason why when, instead of leaving, Sasha all but vaulted out of her chair and raced her way instead of just leaving, Mikasa didn't scramble to get out of the way to evade her.

She did, however, wonder at the excitement in the girl's eyes. There was nothing about Mikasa that felt like it should warrant that sort of look, yet there it was.

Moving at a rapid pace in a small classroom meant that Sasha very nearly careened into her and only caught herself at the last second.

"Jesus, Sasha!" Connie cried. He was still sitting in the seat next to Sasha's, but had maneuvered himself so that he was sitting backwards on the chair so that he could watch his friend. Despite his near-chastising tone, his expression held the glee of someone watching a trainwreck that was guaranteed to have no fatalities. An organized trainwreck. A monster truck rally.

Sasha didn't pay her friend any attention. Standing only inches away from Mikasa's face, she exclaimed, "Mikasa! Have you had lunch yet?"

Mikasa blinked. "No," she said. She usually skipped it.

"Great!" Sasha cried. "You're coming with me, then."

That was all the warning Mikasa got before Sasha hooked her arm in hers and started dragging her off. It would have been an easy matter to resist, but she hadn't brought her textbook with her and didn't have anything else to get before leaving the class, so it wasn't like she had any reason to write. More importantly, a combination of surprise and confusion was effectively preventing Mikasa from forming any higher thoughts for the time being. As such, she inadvertently submitted to being dragged around.

Connie stood up and trotted over to walk on her other side when they passed him. The movement pulled Mikasa out of her stupor somewhat, but Sasha still managed to get her out of the classroom and halfway down the hall before she could articulate anything. "I-"

"Don't bother," Connie cut her off, a playful grin on his face. "Sasha's made up her mind about something involving food. There's no stopping her now."

"Rude, Springer," Sasha said. "True, but rude."

"I'm just making sure Mikasa knows what your priorities lie."

Sasha let out a dramatic huff. Then, to Mikasa, she said, "We're meeting the boys in the food court. I thought bringing you would be a fun surprise!"

"The boys?" Mikasa asked.

"Jean, Marco, and Reiner," Sasha said.

"Oh," Mikasa said. "I didn't... know you all are friends."

She supposed it made sense. Reiner and Connie had been pretty friendly that time in Erwin's office, Jean seemed like he knew them, and Marco was friends with Jean. Connecting it all still made her head spin a little.

"Well, we're friends with Reiner and Marco," Sasha said. "Jean is more like..."

"A show horse?" Connie suggested.

"Exactly!" Sasha cried with a bright laugh.

"I see," Mikasa murmured.

So they all knew each other more than just in passing. They all liked each other - or at least got along despite a certain level of teasing. Again, it made sense. They were all socially outgoing. Meanwhile, Mikasa... well, she was outgoing. Social was another one.

And Sasha thought that bringing her over would be a pleasant surprise?

"Hey," Sasha said, her voice taking on a lower, softer tone. "You know that they all already like you, right?"

Mikasa blinked, a shred of surprise flickering across her face as she looked at Sasha. How on earth had she been able to read her so easily?

"It's true!" Sasha insisted, probably misunderstanding the reason for Mikasa's surprise. "We'd all like to get to know you more."

Ah. That made sense.

"Because I'm the slayer," Mikasa said.

"Because you don't get out enough and pretty much no one knows anything about you," Sasha countered.

That... was certainly a statement. Mikasa barely had a chance to process it before they had reached the entrance of the food court. There, as she continued eagerly tugging Mikasa along, Sasha nearly collided with her second person in less than ten minutes.

"Woah!" Krista exclaimed, taking a small, stumbling step away from the trio.

"Aah!" Sasha exclaimed. "I'm so sorry, Krista!" She held her hands up apologetically - both of them. Rather than simply letting go of Mikasa in order to do so, she interlocked her hand with hers and waved both of their arms about.

Krista shot them a warm smile. "Don't worry about it!" she said.

"Do you want to come to lunch with us?" Sasha asked.

"You're going to turn us into a caravan, aren't you," Connie muttered, but not without a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Oh, no thank you," Krista said, voice polite and sweet as could be. "I need to get to class! Thank you for offering, though!"

With that, she turned around and hurried off down the hall. Mikasa turned her gaze back toward the food court, expecting that to be the end of it. However, her gaze wandered back to Sasha when she noticed that she was staring after Krista.

"You know," Sasha whispered, "Krista's one of the nicest people you can find, but I don't think she has many friends either."

Mikasa frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked. "Everyone likes Krista." Even Mikasa knew that much. 'Krista Lenz' was a common name to hear around campus. She was humbly intelligent, exceedingly kind, and involved in many school activities. From what she'd heard, she was about as close to a perfect someone as someone could get.

"Yeah, but that's not the same thing as having friends," Sasha said. "I don't ever see her hanging out with anyone in her free time. It's... it's hard to explain, but it's... it's like..."

"Like you can't process the thought of an angel amongst us gluttons and fools?" Connie suggested.

Sasha let out a disgruntled squawk, and Mikasa found herself having to lean back to stay out of the way when Sasha leaned over to swat at him.

"I just think she could use more friends!" Sasha exclaimed.

"It's Krista," Connie said, laughing. "I'm sure she has plenty of friends. Now let's get going; I'm starving."

"And you call me a glutton," Sasha teased.

"You are," Connie said. "I'm only starving sometimes. You, on the other hand, are a bottomless pit."

"Sure, sure," Sasha said. "I see how it is." She sniffed, then finally released her grip on Mikasa's hand to re-link their arms.

"Come on, Mikasa," she said as he began to drag her along once again. "Let's not keep Connie from his feast ."

Mikasa felt the corners of her lips twitch upward. "Alright," she said.

As she smiled and listened to the pair of goofballs banter, she found that she felt a little lighter yet. It wasn't the same sort of odd warmth that she'd woken up feeling that morning, but it was... nice. That feeling only grew when Sasha succeeded in pulling her all the way to the table where her group sat and, despite all odds and expectations, they all seemed genuinely happy to see her.

That afternoon, as Mikasa listened to everyone's conversations and even contributed to them a little, a faint, dangerous thought crossed her mind.

She could get used to this.

***

It was a few hours before the sun would set, and Mikasa was back at her apartment, staring down at her phone and the scrap of paper laid down beside it. At the digits scrawled across it. 

She had been staring at them for longer than she would like to admit. 

"The worst thing she can do is say no," Eren pointed out. 

"I know," Mikasa murmured. 

And Annie wouldn't say no. She knew that much. The problem wasn't the possibility of rejection - it was the simple act of asking. 

"You're strong," Eren said. "But you're better when you're not alone."

Mikasa took a deep breath, and, despite the lightness that still lingered within her, refused to truly consider his words beyond their most surface meaning. The most important meaning. 

Working with Annie was the smartest thing to do. 

Carefully, she took her phone, put in the number, and sent a text. 

Mikasa: Patrol tonight? - M

Annie: Alright. 

Annie: We can train if you can come over early. 

Mikasa blinked. Something that straddled the line between apprehension and excitement rose up in her stomach. She pushed it down as she typed out her response. 

Mikasa: Sure

***

They only encountered two vampires that night. 

Between her and Annie, they were two of the easiest kills that Mikasa had ever made.

[harrietjulia]

Passion Project | Branding the Festival

It’s time to think about the Film Festival itself before experimenting with the poster concepts.

Naming the Festival, and creating a quick brand (this is not the full focus of my brief, so I kept it simple)

So I wanted to create a name that would play to the theme of the Film Festival. After creating a mind-map I was able to hone in on several ideas. I liked the idea of using the words REVEALING, CUT, REEL and/or BUFF. ‘Reel’ could be used in place of ‘real’ as it directly relates to cinema as well as the concept of showing the ‘real’ movie line. I also enjoyed the words ‘Film Buff’ and envisioned the word ‘buff’ in a more literal term of buffing out something that is there in error or needs to removed. I wanted to also make sure that I was able to show the theme of the Mandela Effect within the title and feel of the Festival itself (although I’m not sure how I can achieve this) and this could be explored further throughout the physical promotional materials and visuals.

So after some help from my partner, who is much better at coming up with clever titles than me, I settled on the following list of ideas:

Title

The Reel Film Buff Festival or

Moonsing Film Festival (play on Sundance)

Tag-lines, some need re-thought and played with to be more marketed towards cinema and the Mandela effect. I think it should allow the audience to question something, I just need to get the wording right, incorporate thing such as MEMORY, REVEAL, REEL, MOVIE LINES/QUOTE etc.

Movies as they were meant to be remembered

So you think you know your onions?

For the Reel Film Buffs

Warning, could be reel-y revealing! 

It’s ‘reely’ revealing

That’s a Cut!

Lights, Camera, Reveal!

Re-visiting the classics

Do you know the reel line?

Don’t Cut Away

There is a lot to uncover

Do you need to go over your lines? (something to do with movie lines)

I have know I have decided to settle on the title:

The Reel Film Buff Festival

Creating a logo design for the Festival

I needed to create a quick identity for the overall branding of the festival to use across the promotional material for the posters, tickets, merchandise etc. This will give me a base for my posters.

Inspiration

I have fond memories of going to the Showcase cinema in Linwood and singing along to the Pearl & Dean intro, a highlight of cinema trips... 

...as well as the super 80′s/90′s National Amusements neon clean up your shit, shut the hell up and turn off her god damn phone advert (I joke) but, no joke, re-watching these almost made me tear up a little, and I don’t know if thats just nostalgia for you or the fact I haven’t been to the cinema in a year and a half, and for me I am usually there every week. But anyway, tangent on nostalgia over, watching these sparked that feeling of how much going to the cinema can mean, its not just a movie, its an experience and an escape from reality, something I didn’t realise how badly I missed. People love film and this festival is supposed to be a celebration for those big film buffs.

The Pearl and Dean advert uses film reel imagery within the branding and this is something I was thinking of incorporating into the logo of the Festival. I enjoy the feeling of movement it creates and its use of chrome colours (not sure if thats correct term) evokes an almost retro camera film feel.

I was also finding myself inspired by other logo designs such as Film4, which uses a red colour and bold angular shape to create the number 4 within its branding. I liked its modern, crisp and memorable imagery. 

So with these in my head and a little research and mood boarding of other film festival branding, I began digitally sketching out and playing around with concepts. I’m not one for sketching loads of ideas on paper, I find going straight into illustrator gives me more freedom for experimenting with ideas in my head.

Above: Film Festival logo & branding, noted they mostly rely on black and white colours, are simple and bold. I enjoy the pop of colour in the Glasgow Film Festival and its super simple branding using a outlined rectangle to represent a screen, I’d like to echo this in my idea by keeping it minimal in its design.

Above: Initial concept play and font/typeface selection

Above: another idea I had that i didn’t bring into the computer, but I feel there was definetly something there, I think this one the ‘reel’ would need to be omitted as it wouldn’t work for the concept.

Above: Another concept using circle film reel Imagery. Although I note in the above that it evokes a feeling of aliens, I’m not sure if that is bad or good as aliens can be associated with conspiracies.

Above: Another explorative concept for logo using eye imagery. The eye idea works well with the conspiracy theme, as it can imply ‘open your eyes and look again, you’ve remembered it wrong!’ and I’m a little torn between this concept and the final one below.

Above : I think my final concept selection (bottom right)

Throughout these concepts I wanted to somehow play with with the placement of the text to echo the idea of words, quotes and phrases being removed, placed wrongly, added in etc. and so tried out a few variations of alignment. 

After asking around, I think the final selected one on the bottom right reads the most clearly from the variants.

For the final concept I settled on using a film reel imagery to create a simple logo mark because that idea is used within the title of the festival. I thought this image/logo mark can be ‘unrolled’ and expanded upon throughout the promotional material and branding of the project, ie. I can ‘unravel’ it or use its shape in different forms to highlight or separate different information, words, phrases and imagery as well as uses it to physically frame and contain element, just like a movie screen or camera lens.

Now to start exploring, experimenting with and researching festival/event posters and what they look to achieve?

Initial thoughts on what a film festival poster looks to achieve:

Excite, anticipate, convey information at a glance (date and subject), create a feeling and capture the emotion of the event, fun, engaging, different, stand out, build awareness, attract correct demographic

For this project I also began picking up books for reference beginning with, Saul Bass: A Life in Film & Design and Selling the Movie: The Art of the Film Poster

Above : inspirational photos snaps I saved from Saul Bass: A Life in Film & Design. I enjoy his concepts for his movie titles, and he plays a lot with interesting concepts to reveal information slowly, ie, tearing the paper, lifting sticky notes in an animation sequence, burning the poster, punching holes etc. And all have connotations to the theme of the film. These concepts have given me ideas to try out with my own posters.

On his opening titles for Bunny Lake is Missing Saul states “the opening reflects this psychotic state of mind. It consists of series of hands entering the screen and tearing various shaped pieces out of the screen revealing the different credits...with the final action creating the symbol for the film-the shape of a child torn out of paper” the peeling away of layers of paper is a metaphor for the  peeling away of layers of mystery in the film about a child who disappears.

Interestingly, from my initial toe dip into poster research, the use of the film reel imagery to convey a Film Festival seems to be used very frequently. In Saul Bass’s designs he almost exclusively uses this to represent the event, so its fitting that I have used it in the branding of the festival. 

I adore Saul Bass work, his use of colour, objects and suggestive/metaphorical imagery to convey a film was ground breaking and I admire the simplistic feel to his posters. 

Below : Selection of Saul Bass’ Film Festival Poster Designs

[theaspers]

you feel like home | satan x reader

a/n: i’m too lazy to finish this but i got lazy towards the end so here, you can have it. college au so everyone’s human here but u will find i rarely ever write satan’s name and that’s only bc it’s so weird to write it and think about how in this au a set of parents thought naming their child satan is ok lol. this will be the only time u see me use a post divider bc it’s that messy.

here is how it usually is:

satan wakes up with a start. his breathing is heavy, every gasp sounding terribly like it might be his last, and his eyes are wild. this isn’t fear because he is not afraid. he is never afraid. rather, it is anger. anger at himself, at his brothers, at anyone and everyone who has ever wronged him before. fiery red and burnt orange, anger in all possible forms and shapes and sizes, rolling off of him in waves.

there is not many places in which he finds respite from the barrage of emotions he constantly feels. but when you wake up, bleary-eyed and groggy, and say nothing, waiting with the utmost patience for him to return. when you wrap an arm around his shoulders, careful and cautious. when you tug him down and hum a little tune under your breath that lulls him back to sleep. it’s as close to one as he’ll ever get, he thinks.

for a fleeting second, he thinks about telling you of his feelings. vomit it all out so he doesn’t have to sit any longer with the uncomfortable feelings that’s been bubbling at the pit of his stomach for far too long. but your fingers are too gentle as they press against his still-pounding heart, and your eyes are too tender as they meet his own. there’s an unusually bright beam of moonlight spilling across your features from the gap between the curtains and it makes you look as dazzling as ever. it wouldn’t be right to ruin such a beautiful moment, he thinks, to ruin such a beautiful person with all of whatever he is. so he doesn’t.

repeat and recycle.

you are kind. with him, you’ve managed to practice this weird balance of confident indifference and empathy that just works for him. it’s never been like that before. not when he’d lost his parents but had felt relieved instead of the expected grief. not when his sister had died and had taken along with her a good portion of everyone’s soul. not when he’d finally just upped and left because the tension in the house was getting too much for him to bear.

he has no parents, he told you once, a long time ago. a green haze of disgust had curled around him and eyes steaming, rolling and boiling. the grip he had on the stack of papers he’d been flicking through caused ripples across the filled pages. you know this fact, clever enough to have gathered as much from how much he soured whenever parents were mentioned, but he had never outright admitted it.

“you’re ruining my notes,” you’d said to him instead of the pity he is all too familiar with. there had been a deep furrow between your eyebrows, displeasure in your frown, “i worked extremely hard on that.”

it had been relief, looking back now, that had filled him up to the brim. his heart had felt full, but not in the bad way - always in the good way with you - and he’d felt unburdened for once. he looked at you then, eyebrows raised. where he thought there would be anger, there was only amusement. he’d only known you for a handful of months but somehow he’d expected as much from you. and it’s comfortable.

“the world’s full of awful, terrible people who shouldn’t be parents,” you’d pointed at him with an opened highlighter pen, waving the neon tip in his direction, “doesn’t mean you’re awful or terrible too.”

huh.

“and it certainly doesn’t mean i want to spend my whole afternoon talking about them,” your frown turned into a scowl as you reached over the tabletop filled with textbooks and worn notebooks and loose papers, “give those here if you’re not gonna treat them right.”

light laughter spilled out of his lips as he pulled the notes away. you were kind. too kind. looking back, that must have been the start of it all.

you’re curled up in a hoodie, crumpled up on the sofa in a way he’s sure is not good at all for your posture but he’s long given up trying to chastise you over it. face smooshed against the arm of the chair, a textbook draped open over your chest in a way that makes him wince, you looked positively ridiculous. ignoring the pang of fondness, he nudges you with his knee.

“come on,” he says, closing the textbook and putting it aside, “let’s get you to bed.”

you groan but are otherwise easily coaxed into bed, curling into his side as he lead you to your room. the fondness magnifies immensely. that you’d spent the better half of yesterday revisiting old topics and making notes which is why you’re so tired right now is somehow endearing to him. he brushes his lips against your forehead as he watches you settle into bed. if he spends a bit more time lingering at the door, no one would know.

he doesn’t want to say it’s because of you but you did play a big part in it. he talks more to his brothers now and it’s, well, good. it’s the distance and the fresh air too, maybe.

he doesn’t have parents but he does have 6 brothers, he’d admitted one quiet night. the two of you had been lying on your backs, the clear night sky spread out over your figures, gorgeous swirls of different shades of blacks and dark blues with specks of bright diamond jewels. 6 brothers and a sister who had passed and had taken a piece of all of them with her.

“oh.” you’d said but you already knew about his brothers because he’d told you. not so much in stories, of course, but through bits and pieces he’d mentioned here and there. beel likes that snack, he would tell you and so you’d tell him to send some to him. asmo’s been talking to him about a brand new make up collection that’ll be released soon and so you’d tell him that you’ll keep an eye out. but the thing about his sister - that’s new.

the hurt is still there even though it’s been a long time now. raw pain as if his chest is dangerously exposed and someone’s gone ahead and ripped his still-beating heart out of him. he has yet to find that heart, it seems. it still hurts but ever since he’d left, he’s been able to breathe a bit better. see past the green and grey cloud that hovered over him and his brothers when he’d been at home.

“that one’s orion,” you’d murmured, and he knows it’s just you trying to digest his words, trying to figure out a good response, “people use that one to find other stars too, did you know that?”

he did, in fact. but still, he’d watched, quiet as you pointed out a few others. your eyes are wonder-filled, the twinkle brighter than anything else in the sky, and it had left him breathless. the tightness around his throat had loosened. southeastward and there is sirius, you’d said, in awe and in love. from rigel to betelgeuse, there is gemini - the stars castor and pollux.

“it must be stuffy to be immortalised like that, huh?” you’d turned him then, meeting his eyes, smile gentle, “always expected to be same. unchanging. must be suffocating.”

a stray chuckle leaves him, weak.

“just let it happen,” you told him afterwards and he’d wanted to laugh even more because it shouldn’t be that easy to absolve him of everything he’s been feeling but it had been. “all i’m saying is that you don’t need to feel guilty anymore.”

“talk to them,” you suggested, no hesitation, letting him lean against you, “they lost a sister too, you know?”

there’s a lecture that he has to attend in about an hour but you’re still snoring away on your side of his bed and it’s so tempting to join you in sweet slumber. you don’t have classes until later on so you’re good but he’ll be late if he dallies for any longer.

but he can’t seem to pull himself away from you. so he takes this in, the absolute mess in the morning. listens to your steady breathing. savours the moment and keeps it close. a beautiful solace that he’ll allow himself for when he needs the reprieve.

“ha,” there’s a smug curl to your lips, eyelids fluttering open as if knowing that he’d been starting, “nerd. go to class.”

he rolls his eyes. he could always count on you to ruin a tender moment.

“you should get one for lucifer,” the words barely leave your mouth before you’re laughing, from a tiny little snicker to full blown laughter, “for- for cerberus.”

the hand that’s holding out your phone for him to see the page full of ugly little suit for dogs shakes wildly. he scowls at the mention of his eldest brother and you laugh even more, setting down your utensils in favour of rubbing the tears that have sprung up in the corner of your eyes from laughing too hard.

“are you going back for the break?” you ask once you’ve calmed down, reaching over to pull his plate of pie closer to yourself. you pick up your fork once more, digging into the soft pastry.

he curls his nose at the prospect of going back home, “unfortunately.”

“unfortunately,” you parrot playfully, rolling your eyes. “yeah, okay.” 

“it’s been a long time coming anyways,” you grin around the mouthful of pie, “they miss you, i think. and don’t tell me you don’t miss them too.”

he sighs, shakes his head as he tugs his plate back over to his side. he knew he shouldn’t have given asmo your phone number. he would never attest to the happiness that blooms in chest. no one would be able to prove it, anyways.

here’s how it is now:

he reels you into a hug as he’s about to leave for back home. he feels as light as a feather, and he has to admit, he’s a bit...excited. when the two of you break apart, he says thank you and gives you an earnest smile. he has to suppress his laughter when feels the way you shudder in his arms.

something’s changing. and change is, well, good. in most cases. and this is one of those cases. it’s good. he’s not afraid, he tells you, he’s never afraid. there is no fear. no anger. just adoration and fondness. for you.

and so he decides in that moment - when he gets back, he’ll let you know.

[excelsi-or]

just a little sweeter (pt. 7)

BIPOC rec: Check out Elsa Majimbo on IG. She makes hilarious videos about everything, especially poking fun about life in these COVID times. They make me laugh so much. And for some arty stuff, check out Allenmoreworks. She’s posting some stunning pieces.

w.c. 2.1k (fluuuuuuff, i’m realizing there is a lot less angst in this story than in the last one. hope you guys don’t mind that lol)

pt.1; pt.2; pt.3; pt.4; pt.5; pt.6

“You’re sure I’m allowed to be here?”

“Yes,” Jihoon laughs as he lets her into the company building.

She wraps him in a hug, and he can smell the coffee he loves in her hair. “Hi.”

Jihoon smiles at her. “Hi.”

“So, where is everyone?”

“Called it a night,” Jihoon tells her. They head to the elevator.

“And Eunha?”

“Sleeping on the couch in the studio.”

She lifts an eyebrow.

“I can’t let her stay home alone. My daughter’s not even 2,” he explains.

“But if she’s sleeping, shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“I have to finish this album. There were some things the members didn’t like in the final mix.” Jihoon pushes off the wall and leads her out the elevator and down the hall.

She trails after him in awe of the bare white walls and glass doors. “This is more business-like than I anticipated.”

Jihoon glances over his shoulder. “Oh. Yeah. Studio’s not that bad.” He pushes the studio door open and leads her into the room. Sitting on the table in front of Eunha is a phone that’s on a call. He picks it up to end it.

“Did you use an iPhone as a baby monitor?” she demands.

He nods as he tosses the phone on the desk. “Yeah.”

She turns, admiring the room. The neon lights are on, which cast a blue haze over everything. The red neon light of ‘Woozi’s studio’ near his workspace highlights that area.

“Thoughts?”

“Very… unlike you,” she comments, smiling at him. “More colour than I was anticipating. But also your style.” She hums. “Hard to describe.”

They both glance over at the couch when they hear Eunha mumbling. Jihoon is about to reach for her, but she gets to his daughter first. She scoops Eunha up and Eunha immediately rests on her shoulder, arms around her neck.

“You didn’t have to,” Jihoon says.

She shakes her head. “You asked me to keep you awake so you could finish your album. I brought a book. I’m here for conversation and to babysit,” she chuckles.

Jihoon holds the back of his ‘guest’ chair and she sits on it. She readjusts Eunha so that her little head is cradled in the crook of her elbow. The little girl is all pudgy limbs that curl around her. She brushes hair off of Eunha’s forehead and looks up to see Jihoon’s fond expression.

“Stop that,” she whispers.

Jihoon feels his face warm at getting caught. “Do you wanna hear some of the album?”

“Of course I do. You don’t know how much I’ve been anticipating hearing a work in progress.”

Jihoon plays a few tracks for her, stopping right before the parts he needs to change. The members were right. Some of the songs are not his best work and can be tweaked a bit to be hits. He watches her microexpressions, catching the tilt of her head at some parts. He mentally flags them for later.

“They don’t call you a genius for nothing.”

Jihoon rolls his eyes. “Shut up.”

“You’re good, Jihoon.” She rocks the chair back and forth as Eunha begins moving in her sleep.

“Well, thanks, I guess.”

“Can we just talk about how good lunch was yesterday?” she asks, changing the subject.

Jihoon snorts. “Yes, we can. It was so good I made the members order it for lunch today.”

She grins. “I know the odds of there being leftovers is a long shot.”

Jihoon shakes his head. “I was planning on being in late and ordered us both something. It’s in the fridge.”

Her jaw drops. “You sneak. You were going to ask me over regardless.”

Since their first date, the two have been nonstop communicating. If they can’t see each other for a coffee break (not in her café) or a meal, they’ll video chat after Eunha’s gone to bed or in the morning before she goes to work. Somehow, his baby winds up in the call at some point or another, regardless of when they chat.

Jihoon shrugs. “Is that a bad thing?”

She chuckles and shakes her head. “No, it’s not.” Jihoon watches as she reaches for her bag on the floor to grab her book. She manages to do so without waking his daughter.

“You know, the members have been worried,” he says once she’s upright.

She puts her book on the desk and lifts her feet to prop them on his chair. “Yeah, they make a few comments when they come to pick up coffee.”

Jihoon frowns. “Like…?”

“Nothing rude. Warnings, I guess.”

“About…?”

“Just…” She tilts her head. “That you’ve been hurt before and that I should walk away if I’m not committed.”

He holds back an eye roll. “I’m surprised you haven’t run away yet.”

“What do you mean?” she chuckles.

“Just that… well, one, I have a full-on child. And two, I have overprotective members. You haven’t even met my mother yet.”

She nods. “Yeah, I know. I’m insane.”

Jihoon studies her. He can’t help but feel his heart swell every time she turns her attention to Eunha. The way she looks holding his daughter makes him want to laugh or cry or something. And he gets caught every time he watches her like this, interacting with his daughter. There’s no real point to be embarrassed anymore.

Doesn’t stop him from turning red every time anyway.

“I told my mom about you,” she says, her eyes on Eunha.

“What? Me or Eunha?”

She snorts and looks up at him. “You, you dolt.”

“And?”

“I let slip that you have a daughter.”

Jihoon’s stomach clenches at the thought of someone else knowing. “It’s your mom. I don’t mind.”

She gauges his expression. “As soon as I said it, I knew I shouldn’t have.”

“Sharing things with your mom is a good thing. I hope that Eunha gets to have that one day.” Jihoon takes a deep breath. “What… what did she say?”

“About you having a daughter? Plenty.” She chews her bottom lip. “Do you want to hear it?”

Jihoon hesitates for a second, but nods.

“She thinks I’m crazy to even consider being involved with you. You’re an idol, first of all. She thinks the lifestyle is crazy. She ultimately wants someone who dotes on me.” She shrugs. “I don’t blame her for that one. But when she found out about Eunha, she…” She tips her head both ways. “Let’s just say that if she could ground me and control everything I did from that day on, she’d make it so I moved back home and was never allowed to date anyone ever again. Because clearly I can’t make decisions.”

Jihoon whistles. “That’s… harsh.”

“I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time. She wants to know what’s possessing me to date someone who already has daughter.”

“We come as a package deal.”

“And… I know that.” She pulls Eunha closer. “Or at least, I think I do.”

Jihoon starts to turn in his chair towards the screen. “So why?”

“Why what?”

“Why… date me?”

She lifts an eyebrow, a small smile on her lips. “You want a list?”

Jihoon pulls up the file he needs and slides his notebook closer. “I… thought I was undateable because I have Eunha. Figured that no one would be willing to be with someone who already has a kid. Especially at our age.”

“Ah. You also think I’m crazy.”

Jihoon glances over at her, finally seeing the smile quirking her lips. “I just want to know why.”

“You have a good heart. You’re a good person, talented, with a career.” She shrugs. “It doesn’t hurt that you’re good looking. What more could I ask for?”

“Someone without a kid.”

She snorts. “I’m surprised you want to date me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I could walk away at any moment, break your heart and make life even more difficult for you.” She picks up her book and holds it in her other hand. “I don’t know what you see in me that would be any bonus for you and your daughter.”

A couple hours pass. She’s dozed during the slow songs that Jihoon is mixing. They talk about light topics when he wants to keep his mind off the songs. But when Eunha starts whining, she gets up to go for a walk.

“Do you want your food?” she asks, holding Eunha to her chest. The kid’s head rests on her shoulder, the whining about to turn into sobbing. She presses a kiss to the back of Eunha’s head. “Do you want to stay with Daddy?” she whispers.

Eunha grips her tighter and Jihoon has to fight a smile. “If you don’t mind grabbing it on your own.”

“I can get it,” she snorts. “Tell me where it is.”

Jihoon instructs her to where the kitchen is. In the kitchen, she manages to get the food out of the fridge.

Before she can heat it, Eunha suddenly wakes up. As she looks around the dimly lit kitchen without her dad, she begins whimpering.

“Hey kiddo,” she hums, putting down the plate she was about to put in the microwave. “Hey, hey.”

Eunha’s whimpers start to crescendo to crying.

“Okay, okay.” She goes to turn the light on and Eunha squints at the brightness. “You’re okay. We’re at the studio. Daddy’s in the next room.” Eunha stares at her with red cheeks and tears welling in her eyes. “Do you remember me, hmm? We’re just going to make food and then we’re going straight back to Daddy’s office.” She turns Eunha towards the open containers on the counter. “Look, food.”

Eunha blinks away her tears, her crying subsiding to uneven breathing.

“See? You’re alright.” She uses her thumb to wipe away some of the tears. “If you’re going to stay awake, do you want me to put you—oh, okay.” Before she can finish her sentence, Eunha’s head is back on her shoulder. She bounces Eunha up and down as she puts the food in the microwave.

By the time she gets back to Jihoon, carefully balancing a child and a plate of food in each hand, Eunha is asleep again. At the sound of the door opening, Jihoon looks back over his shoulder. He gets to his feet to grab the plates out of her hands. He bends a bit to get a look at Eunha’s face.

“Did she cry?”

“Yeah, she did.” She follows him to the desk. “She’s asleep now, isn’t she?”

“Yeah, she is.” He sets the plates down and then manoeuvres Eunha into his arms. She lies against his chest.

“Now, I’m cold,” she chuckles.

Jihoon turns in his seat towards the couch. “There’s a blanket here somewhere.”

She sees it on the couch. She wraps it around her shoulders and sits back down. “How’s the music going?”

Jihoon shakes his head. “Let’s talk about something else. I can’t talk about it anymore.”

“That’s saying something,” she murmurs. They’re quiet for a moment, tucking into their food. “How are your parents?”

“My parents?” Jihoon tips his head at the question. “They’re good.”

“And have you told them about me?”

“Ah,” Jihoon chuckles. He carefully bends forward to eat. “Yes, I have actually.”

“And?”

“Be careful,” he quotes his mother. “After Eunha’s mother, they’re protective of us.” He presses a kiss to Eunha’s head.

She eats quietly, mulling this over. If this were just a case of two 20-somethings dating, then she doubts either of their parents would have much to say about them testing it out. But because of Eunha, it either needs to be serious or nothing. It’s an interesting way to date, she finds. It puts so much pressure on the early stages of a relationship to work out. Now it’s not just about whether she likes Jihoon; now she needs to consider if she wants to be involved in Eunha’s life too.

Jihoon must see all of this on her face. “I understand if you’re scared away by that.”

She smirks.

“It’s a lot of pressure to put on you.”

“And you.” She lightly kicks his knee. “You’re expecting yourself to be able to be the best judge of character. You’re not leaving any room for error here.”

His voice quiets. “I’d really hate to be wrong.”

“About?”

“You, me, Seventeen, this little one and how I raise her.”

“Those last couple ones are all you. You can control those things.” She takes another bite. “As of right now, I think I’m more a figment of your imagination than anything else.” She reaches for the water bottle in her bag. “But that’s why I’m here. To make me real. And to make you real to me.”

“You know,” Jihoon turns to scribble her words into his notebook, “if the café doesn’t work out, you could be a lyricist.”

She snorts, watching Jihoon carefully as he balances Eunha on his chest, his fork in his hand and the computer mouse in his other. “Could I? I don’t think so.”

[kiara-carrera]

“actually i’m…i’m really not okay.” + Leah for the comfort starters?

convinced you can somehow read my mind across the internet because you're always picking the best prompts for them like this allowed me to write a hc that's been living in my head since may anyways. i also wanna fight myself bc this is like 3 fucking thousand words and its super fucking sad idk why i did this to myself. 

content warning for parental abuse and a mention of alcoholism.

In the middle of the night, something brushed against her face. 

She was asleep on her side, some of her hair falling into her eyes, but it was swept aside, the feeling tickling her skin and it caused her to stir briefly. But her eyes stayed shut and she merely burrowed deeper into her pillow.

Leah had never been much of a light sleeper, but the feeling of her bed dipping next to her seemed to rouse her enough. 

It took her a moment to settle into waking, eyes fluttering and lips smacking together tiredly to combat the dryness of her mouth. A tiny yawn escaped her, her eyes doing their best to adjust to the darkness of her room, the only source of light being the sparse moonlight that trickled in through her window.

It was enough to make out the shape beside her.

Her heart nearly stopped at the sight of them sitting on her bed, arm pulling back towards itself. It felt like something out of a horror movie or perhaps the evening news with the headline of a teenager being stolen from their bedroom. Fear gripped at her with icy hands, eyes widening at the realization that someone was in her room with her.

Lips parted, she was a mere second away for screaming out for her father and brother before a shred of moonlight at just the right second highlighted the unruly blond hair of the intruder.

Pushing up on one shaky hand, she asked, “JJ?”

Leah’s sleep addled voice cut through the silence, a harsh and hurried whisper into the dark. If it truly was JJ sitting on her bed, the volume would need to be kept near silent — she wouldn’t put it past Jack Thompson to treat JJ like an actual intruder.

The voice that replied was unmistakably that of her boyfriend’s, a little tired and a little sheepish. “Hey baby.”

Relief flooded her body and she allowed herself to slump back down into her pillow, a quiet groan escaping her lips. “Jesus fucking Christ, JJ, I thought you were a serial killer. What the hell?”

She couldn’t really see the expression on his face, but she saw him look down at his hands. “Wanted to see you.”

“You wanted to see me at —” She paused, turning to squint at the alarm clock beside her bed, neon numbers vibrant in the dark. “Two am? How the hell did you even get in?”

“Window.” He jutted a thumb behind him in its direction as if to make his point. In an attempt at lighthearted conversation, he jokingly added, “You know, you should really lock that thing.”

Leah pulled a face, disbelief coating her features. Sleep was still mulling in her brain and she couldn’t for the life of her make sense of this situation. It wasn’t the first time JJ had ever snuck into her room. Even before they were dating, he’d mastered slipping in through her window often enough that he even knew which floorboards would creak loudly under his boots.

But the difference between then and now was that this was the first time he’d done it without warning. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d come unannounced like this. It had to have been months ago, when he’d shown up after —

Fuck.

Leah pushed herself back up on her elbow, a sense of unease washing over her as she squinted at her boyfriend in the dark. The last time he’d shown up unannounced in the middle of the night, it hadn’t been for a midnight make out session or because he’d randomly wanted to spend the night — he’d had a bruised cheek and a busted lip, compliments of his father.

He’d dripped blood on her floor by accident and she’d nearly woken up her brother while getting the first aid kit from the bathroom. She’d gotten a mini one from the dollar store the next day to keep in her dresser just in case.

Except, she didn’t want there to be a just in case. Didn’t want there to be a next time. She’d cleaned JJ up from multiple fights in her time as his best friend and now girlfriend, but nothing left her with a pit in her stomach like cleaning him up after his dad was through with him.

“You didn’t come here from the Chateau, did you?”

It was phrased as a question, but it was more of a statement. JJ shifted awkwardly in his spot beside her. Even if she could make out his expression in the dark, he wouldn’t look at her anyways.

“Lee ...” He trailed off, almost as if he wanted to ask her to drop it.

But he knew her and he knew she wouldn’t. “J, did you go back to your place tonight?”

A small noise of discontent escaped him, but he nodded his head.

“Got into it with my dad,” he finally admitted, letting out a chuckle. It was meant to play off the situation, but there wasn’t a single trace of humor in the bitter sound.

Despite how tired she felt, eyelids heavy enough to drag her back under, that single sentence seemed to wake her up just enough. She squinted at him in the dark, heart thumping a little quicker in her chest as she blindly reached for the lamp on her bedside table.

It switched on, bathing the room in a soft glow as Leah pushed herself up into a sitting position. She blinked a few times, letting the now lit room to come in to focus, a hand reaching up to try and rub the rest of the sleep from her eyes. 

Her gaze eventually landed on her boyfriend, looking uncomfortable as ever under her gaze. His hat was in his lap, hands wrung into it, while his hair looked like he’d raked his fingers through it anxiously a number of times on the way over. And his eyes, normally cheery and mischievous, looked almost hollow, a glossy sheen to the redness that surrounded the blue of his irises. 

He looked ... broken and Leah’s heart stuttered a bit at the dejected expression he wore.

She’d never considered herself violent or capable of truly hurting anyone, but it was moments like these where she swore she could put Luke Maybank six feet under if she put her mind to it.

Unless he drunk himself to death first.

JJ watched on quietly as she let her eyes trail across his face intently, no doubt scanning for new scrapes or bruises or split lips. A twinge of guilt flickered in his eyes, one that Leah ignored. She didn’t care if he felt like he was burdening her or that he felt bad knowing she was expecting him to be dripping blood on her floor like he had one too many times before.

She didn’t care about that, because all she wanted was to make sure he was okay.

Leah hated when he went home. She knew that JJ was too proud to spend every night at the Chateau and knew he thought he could handle himself on the off chance that he ran into his dad. Rarely, though, did that seem to be the case.

“It wasn’t like that,” JJ supplied, noticing the way her eyes strayed to his shirt, more than likely wondering if there were bruises littering the skin it covered. “He was too drunk to start anything physical. Probably would’ve tripped over himself before he got two feet.”

Leah nodded, though his admission didn’t do much to quell her nerves. She didn’t know much about Luke Maybank to start with, but something told her his words were probably as painful as his hits.

After a moment, once she decided that his face looked the way it had when she’d seen him yesterday, save for the frown and his bloodshot eyes, some of the tension in her shoulders relaxed. Not all of it, though, because her mind had already started jumping to the next possible idea of what exactly had happened in the Maybank home earlier that night.

“Do you ... do you wanna talk about it?” she asked gently, tucking her legs under her.

Getting JJ to open up was ... tricky. Leah had been around him long enough that she could clock his bad moods at the drop of a hat, could read most emotions swirling in his eyes like second nature.

Noticing something was wrong, that something was eating away at him, was easy. Getting him to verbalize it and let her in fully was the hard part. Even around the Pogues, around Leah, JJ held a certain level of walls up. Thoughts and secrets and the level of abuse at the hand of his father that he kept guarded for one reason or another. There were things that they knew, things that they found out on accident or because he’d hit his breaking point, but Leah wouldn’t be surprised if there was a whole slew of things she didn’t know.

Her heart clenched painfully at the thought, but it didn’t surprise her when JJ waved off her question.

“Nah, it's not a big deal,” JJ replied easily, brushing it off as he adjusted his position on her bed.

He forced another smile on his lips as he regarded her. It was one that almost looked genuine. Almost. It might have fooled someone who didn’t know him well into thinking that he was fine, someone who wouldn’t pick up on the way he was fidgeting with his rings or how he seemed incapable of looking her in the eye for more than a brief moment before glancing away. But Leah wasn’t just someone and she could pick up on his unease just as easily as she was taking her breaths.

Because Leah knew when JJ wasn’t okay. She always knew.

Treading lightly, like she was dealing with a deer who might spook, she said, “Well, it must have been if you came all this way here.”

Annoyance wrinkled his expression. Tossing his hat to the side, he asked, “Can’t a guy just stop by to see his girlfriend?”

“JJ, it’s two in the morning,” she told him seriously.

His frown deepened. She could see his jaw clench and he nodded his head a few times. “Yeah, okay, you know what, this was fucking stupid. I’ll just leave then if you’re gonna keep looking at me like that.”

She knew the that in question was the pity he was probably reading across her face. But the problem was that she didn’t pity him, she was worried for him, but JJ never seemed to know the difference between the two.

The sight of him getting up and turning to head back towards her window had Leah lurching forward, hand circling around his wrist. “Hey, hey,” she whispered, giving his arm a tug. “No, J, don’t leave, please, c’mon.”

At her pleading tone, he halted, a sigh escaping him. It took another moment before he was sitting back down, a frown still etched on his face.

Leah’s hand slipped from his wrist and she longed to twine their fingers together but she didn’t in favor of scooting a little closer to him on her bed. She tilted her head a bit, trying her best to get eye contact with him.

He finally sighed and looked up at her, another sigh slipping past his lips. “Lee ...”

“Look, I’m not trying to push it, okay?” She bit her lip, thinking over her next words carefully. She didn’t know how many times she could successfully talk him out of leaving tonight. “I just ... I get worried. If you really don’t wanna talk, we don’t have to. We can just go to sleep and leave it, but I need you to know that I will listen if you wanna talk. You came all this way here and it’s so late and I know —”

“I just wanted to see you,” he repeated, cutting her off. There was no edge to his voice. Instead it was softer, a tone that suggested there was more to it. Unconvincingly, he added, “I’m fine, Lee.”

A shaky breath left Leah’s lips, tears beginning to sting at the back of her eyes. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”

Her words sat in the air for a few moments. Or maybe it was minutes. JJ was watching her intensely and Leah could almost see the legions of thoughts bouncing around his head at her statement. His eyes were glassier than ever, tears brimming along the edges. He chewed on his lip anxiously and Leah could do nothing but wait for him to make the next move. 

When he did, she was certain her heart broke.

“Actually I’m ...” JJ’s voice was thick with emotion and his breath hitched in his throat as his bravado began cracking under her thoughtful gaze. He couldn’t meet her eyes again when he choked out, “I’m really not okay.”

The first tear betrayed him, dripping down his cheek and disappearing somewhere on his shirt.

“Oh, JJ,” Leah whispered, her soft voice, laced with unmeasurable concern, nailing the coffin shut.

Within seconds, tears began streaming down his face as the dam finally broke.

Leah was quick to shuffle across her bed, the last bits of sleepiness washing off her like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over her head. Her arms were curling around him tightly, pulling him into her as the first sob racked through his body. His face was pressed into her neck, the collar of her shirt dampening with his tears.

He was mumbling into her, words muffled by her skin and her shirt, fragmented by the sobs that snuck through. She could only make out pieces, the words hate it and hate him and sorry repeating more times than she could count.

“I’ve got you,” she mumbled into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. “I’ve got you.”

His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her even closer, impossibly close, like he didn’t think she’d stay with him.

But there was nowhere else she’d ever dream of being, not when he was like this.

This wasn’t the first time Leah had seen JJ cry. While he always tried to hold up a devil may care attitude, the wild Pogue image, the view of a kid from the Cut with no worries besides keggers and weed, there were times where he’d hit his breaking point in the past. She’d seen it before, seen the facade shatter like glass against the floor. There was only so long he could go on being strong, feelings bottled up inside him like a ticking time bomb, before he’d burst.

Another sob wracked through him, a quiet and painful noise buried into her neck.

“I just want it to stop,” he told her between hurried gulps of air. “I’m so fucking sick of it.”

Leah’s eyes squeezed shut and she ran a comforting hand through his hair. She told him, “I know, J, I know,” because what else was there for her to say? What else was there for her to do in moments like these?

Anger burned in Leah’s chest, a sudden hot feeling, akin to a pot left to boil over on the stove. It was seeping into her veins as she listened to his cries, 

Anger at the world, because it took people like JJ and put them through hell. He was sixteen. Sixteen fucking years old and this was the shit that he had to deal with. This was his reality. It was two in the goddamn morning and instead of being asleep in his own bed, safe and loved by his own fucking father, he was here in pieces because of him.

Anger at his father, for being such a useless sack of shit. Who did this to their child? Who could look at a kid like JJ and do nothing but tear them down until they started believing the lies being fed to them? Leah hated him, she’d decided that long ago. Hated him more than she’d ever hated anyone in her life and the feeling of JJ shuddering under her hands only seemed to make it run deeper.

And then there was the anger at herself, because she knew there wasn’t enough that she could do. She could patch up his wounds and hold him tight, could let him cry in her arms until he had nothing left to give, and it would never be enough. She couldn’t fix the world for him and there weren’t enough words in the world to describe how important he was, how special, how loved. His father’s words would always exist somewhere in the back of his mind and she wasn’t sure she knew how to combat them with ones of her own.

It pained her to think he’d believe any of it. To think he was worthless or going nowhere or a waste of space. She wasn’t sure exactly what Luke had said to him tonight, could only guess, but she knew without a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of her goddamn being that they were lies. 

Leah knew JJ. She knew every reason that she loved him was because he was unapologetically him. He could be brash and impulsive and crude and he didn’t always say or do the right thing. But she also knew that when it came down to it, he was loyal and brave and selfless and better than anyone on this goddamn island. He deserved the goddamn world. He deserved a mansion on the Eight with a koi pond and a ridiculous marble statue or Yucatán and lobsters and surfing all day and whatever else he wanted and it was because he was better than the world gave him credit for.

Tears of her own were pooling in her eyes, steadily dripping down her face as she rested her chin against the top of his head. She knew in that moment that this, being here with him right now, letting him deal with this pain in whatever way he needed to, was all she could offer him. She knew it didn’t come close to what he needed, but she’d hold him as long as he wanted.

As he clutched at her like a lifeline, Leah held him a little bit tighter.