#it could be a week or a year or more.. we dont know but we're giving him all the love weve got!!!!!

[thirstyvampyr]

oh we broke up again

[raksh-writes]

Im a pent-up ball of pure stress and restlessness (like chest-tight and heart pounding type of stress) and I have 0 idea what to do with myself, because anytime I want to try and go distract myself with Something my anxiety spikes and my brain goes "!!! NO!!! DANGER!!! LOOK OUT FOR DANGER!!!" so I guess I'll just spend the day pacing the house and refreshing the same 3 pages on repeat, huh...

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

[mosquitinho]

On October 9th, my cat Titi passed away. After responding well to treatment for 8 months, he had a very sudden worsening of his kidney disease 5 days prior to his death. He went away peacefully and quickly while he slept on his favorite mattress, and he made sure to say goodbye to everyone he loved before that.

In his 17 years of life, he killed countless geckos, stole a lot of forbidden foods, explored all of the forbidden places, ran all over many different houses, slept on many laps, and got all of the pets from human hands & licks from his kitty brother that he wanted plus some. He was a funny, playful, tiny, scrungly baby creature until the very end, and we're missing his presence each passing day.

All of the pictures above are from the last month we spent with him. I'm grateful he and his brother were able to move in with me and my girlfriend, which they've enjoyed a ton! It was his last big adventure. He was happy, active, and surprisingly healthy on his last month with us, so I really couldn't ask for a better end of life for him.

Rest in peace, my baby Titi. We love you and we know you love us very much. We'll never forget you, Tico Timbo 💕

[stevie-petey]

blurb idea? stug isn't having sex yet obviously but maybe dustin walks into bug's room while they're lying really close on her bed reading together and he flips his shit like OH MY EYES and they're like ...boy we're literally just sitting here. and steve's over for dinner and dustin refuses to look at him and claudia's like ok what's up and you're like literally nothing he's so dumb

i love dramatic dustin with stug so YES !!

enjoy <3

"so jo just rejects laurie? like, flat out, brutally rejects his marriage proposal after years of being best friends and basically already in love?"

"i mean, there are some nuances youre missing, but yeah. basically."

"what kind of sick book is this?" steve shoves the book away from him in disdain. his nose is scrunched up, offended, and you refrain from kissing it all better.

you fix a piece of hair thats fallen in his face as he lays next to you on your bed. "jo and laurie are tragic, i'll admit." your words are rough from reading for hours. steve always insists that you read the books for him, he claims youre better at it, but you know its because he loves the sound of your voice. "but its what makes the book so wonderful, dont you think?"

steve rolls his eyes at you. "your obsession with tragic romances concerns me. what, are you going to reject my proposal next? make me beg on my hands and knees for you?"

"technically you already did beg on your hands and knees for me-"

"wait, you didnt say youd accept my proposal."

with a sly laugh you clear your throat and bring the book back up to your face, continuing to read. steve stares at you as you read the heartbreaking words aloud, his eyes travel the length of your neck and the slope of your nose. the scene youre reading breaks his heart more than hed care to admit. youve been reading little women to steve for a few weeks now. he really thought itd be jo and laurie in the end.

lost in the way you voice lilts between jos soft rejection and lauries broken pleads, neither you nor steve hear dustin calling for you until its too late.

the boy barges into your room and nearly shrieks his head off when he realizes steve is in bed with you. "my eyes!" he cowers to close the door, covering his face with his grubby little hands.

"dustin!" you shout at him, throwing a pillow at him to shut up him. hes being dramatic, you and steve werent even doing anything. your boyfriend is lying next to you while you read him a long and horrendous breakup scene from a classic book. if anything, the two of you should be doing literally anything else.

steve rolls off your bed and lands on his feet in one fluid motion before running over to your brother. grabbing dustins shoulders, he shakes him to try and stop the screaming. "hey! alright, can you quit it?"

"no! you were-you-my eyes!" dustin scrubs at his face with utter turmoil. he hadnt even known that steve was in his house. normally the asshole makes his presence known, stops by dustins room to say hi. its why he barged in in the first place.

had dustin known hed walk into steve in your bed, he wouldve brought a goddamn flame thrower with him instead.

"we were reading, you moron!" youre next to steve now, desperately trying to quiet your brother before your mom asks whats going on. hes already bad enough, but if your mother finds out steve had been in your bed as well, thered be permanent hearing loss.

"read at your desk! thats what those damn things are built for!"

steve shoves his hand through his hair, agitated. "oh, and who are you? the desk police?"

"'desk police'?" you stare at the teen, disappointed. "thats the best you could come up with?"

"im under a lot of pressure right now. cut me some slack."

"i want you dead."

both you and steve turn to dustin, shocked and disturbed by his words.

"okay, thank you for sharing your feelings, dustin." awkwardly you pat his shoulder. at least hes being honest and open with you. "not necessarily what i wanted to hear, but im proud of you for sharing-"

"he wants me dead and youre commending him?"

"not now," jamming an elbow into steves side, you shut him up and focus on your brother again. "now, is there a reason you barged in or can we go back to reading?"

dustins grimace on his face seems permanent now. his nose is slightly upturned, his eyes distrusting. narrowing them at you, he takes slow, calculated steps back out of your room. "dinner is ready," he says tersely before leaving entirely.

"well, this will be fun." steve sighs, and you nod grimly.

dinner is not fun.

dustin doesnt look steve in the eye the entire time. he sits as far away as possible from the teen. when asked to pass the bread, dustin pointedly ignores steves request and throws a roll to you. the bread nearly knocks your mothers water over and shes finally had enough.

"goodness, dusty! what has gotten into you tonight?" she exclaims, settling the glass that threatens to spill.

mouth full of mashed potatoes, his eyes light up evilly. before he can even think about opening his obnoxious mouth, you kick him underneath the table. your foot connects with his shin and dustin wheezes mashed potatoes all over his meal.

"dusty!" your mother gasps, alarmed. she looks at you in concern while steve snorts into his glass of water. "what is going on with you three?"

"nothing, mom." grabbing the bread that was thrown at you, you pick it apart with your fingers and make a delighted sound. "dinner is lovely tonight, by the way."

"i love what youve done with the mashed potatoes, mrs. henderson." steve is quick to add, jumping in. he makes a whole show of scooping up the mashed food and shoving it into his mouth, moaning in pleasure. "is there garlic in this?"

your mother, always easily distracted, claps her hands with joy. "why, yes! i wanted to try something different. do you really like it?"

"i adore it."

later that night you find yurtle the turtles mealworms underneath your pillow.

[reidmania]

hello!! ok so, i was wondering if i could request a fic that is based around autumn/ october/ halloween because spencer loves spooky season and i fuck with that, anyway, so could you tie that detail into smth kinda like your “everywhere everything” fic fluff wise because i went feral for that one lmao. feel free to ignore if youre not up to it, but i’d love to read what youve got if you do write this. 💙

EVERYWHERE EVERYTHING | spencer reid

part one, part two

summary; spending the week before halloween & going to the pumpkin patch with Spencer in your home town.

warnings; pure love sick fluff, talks about home towns, established relationships, fem reader, halloween, mentions of driving, rushed ending sorry!!

an; i decided to make this request a part two to the everywhere everything fic bc the next verse just fits so well i think?? but it can be read without reading the first part. and that whole song feels like love in autumn!!

im also australian and we dont celebrate halloween like americans do, ive never been to a pumpkin patch so please bare w me during this.

'Drive slowly, I know every route in this county, maybe that ain't such a bad thing I'll tell you where not to speed. It's been a long year and all of our book's pages dog-eared We write out the ends on our palms, dear. Then forget to read, we didn't know that the sun was collapsing 'Til the seas rose and the buildings came crashing. We cried, "Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh" Everywhere, everything, I wanna love you 'til we're food for the worms to eat 'Til our fingers decompose Keep my hand in yours'

"Slow down" You huffed out as Spencer turned down a road you knew all to well, it was familiar and came with a sense of home in place. It was the same road you remembered your father being pulled over everytime for speeding, the same road you had been pulled over on when you had first gotten your licence.

Spencer did as you told him, after sitting in the car with you for an hour mumbling about where was and wasn't safe to go a little faster than the speed limit, he knew to listen. This was your home, you knew it better than he would.

He even refrained from correcting some of your 'fun facts' abot your home town. Purely because listening to your excitement while talking about it made his heart too happy to say anything.

"You know we have gone past about three different pumpkin patches on the way" Spencer asked, raising his eyebrow softly as his head turned from the road to look at you for a moment before turning back to the road.

You rolled your eyes, a playful smile taking place over your lips. “Yes, but, this one’s the best. We are literally two minutes away. Please don’t complain.” You muttered with a smile.

The air between the two of you was warm. It lingered with peace and quiet love, the sort that didn’t need to be shouted from a roof top because it was whispered through the way Spencer’s hands reached to grab yours, the way his eyes danced between you and the road, the way the music playing was what you enjoyed rather than the normal radio he would let play in the background.

It didn’t need to be shouted because it was whispered through the way Spencer’s face lit up when he parked the car and looked out the window, the way he turned back to you with just about the widest grin you think ever possible, the way he leant in to place a gentle kiss against your forehead before he got out, walking around the car to open the door for you.

“Pretty right?” You grinned up at him as his eyes took over the scene, the leaves that covered the ground around your feet all the prettiest shades of orange and yellow, the scent of cinnamon filling the air around you, as patches and patches of pumpkins laid in front of you, all surrounded by a brown picket fence.

He just placed another kiss on your the top of your head, clasping his hand with yours, fingers interlinked between one another. The smile on his face and look in his eyes said more about his excitement than words possibly good — so you didn’t mind the lack of response as you began walking towards the patches.

“I wanna find the biggest one.” You mumbled out, looking around the large patches. There was families, friends, other couples surrounding you but your focus was on nothing but Spencer, and finding the biggest possible pumpkin.

Spencer snorted as he looked up at from patches, to look at you. He took in how you looked curled into one of his knitted sweaters, arms wrapped around your torso in order to shield you from the autumn breeze.

“I think that kid just took the biggest one”

You furrowed your eyebrows and spun your body to look behind you to where a kid was walking — To be fair the pumpkin his dad was holding was pretty big, but the smile on the kids face when he jumped around holding hands with his mum made you not mind so much.

“Well.. I’ll get the second biggest” You settled. Spencer smiled as he shook his head, tugging you slightly closer by your hand to pull you into his chest. His hand left yours as his arms came to rest around your waist.

You laughed, as your hands came up to his upper back and the back of his head gently. The two of you swayed side to side for a moment. “Happy?” You asked, silly question. You could feel it radiating off of him.

He pulled his head away to press his forehead against yours, his nose knocking yours lightly as he scrunched up his face for a moment, before pulling back to look down at your face. His lip quipped up into a soft smile. “Very.”

You lean back, his hands moving to hold onto your hips as his thumb slipped up under your sweater, his sweater. His thumb ran small circles over the skin in place. Your smile widened, heart exploding as your skin burnt under the cold of his fingertips.

“Come on, I want to find the perfect pumpkin. We should have a pumpkin carving competition this year, that would be so much fun” You rambled as you pulled away from his touch to walk around the lines and lines of pumpkins.

He laughed, “We should.” He agreed softly, because why would he ever deny you what you wanted, especially something to do with halloween.

He watched as you bent down to run your fingertips run gently along one of the pumpkins in the row: It was a decent size and probably would be simply to carve since he knew your mind was now hyper-fixated on the idea of pumpkin carving instead of finding the biggest possible pumpkin.

“Actually- Did you know each year 150 million dollars is made from pumpkins, and 98 percent of that is from people who purchase them to make jack-o’-lanterns, and 46% of amercia—”

“How many is that?” You cut off as you look up at him from where you were leant down to look at the pumpkins. He smiled.

“A hundred and fifty four million” He answered without even having to think about it. It never failed to stun you. You hummed allowing him to continue on telling you his facts.

“So 46 percent — Or A hundred and fifty four million people, in America make jack-o-lanterns every year. During Halloween the most reason for injury is actually because of pumpkin carving.” He stated.

You stood up, a soft smile on your face as you placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Well maybe people should be more careful. I’ve never gotten an injury while carving a pumpkin” You hummed out.

He snorted, taking your hand gently. “Have you ever carved a pumpkin?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

You gasped, “Yes- Actually!! I have.” You said, your voice an octave higher than normally. He smiled, nodding his head in disbelief which only caused you to shake your own.

The rest of the day consisted of you and Spencer walking around the pumpkin patch, making jokes and laughing with one another, you even tried a pumpkin, cinnamon cookie from a stand nearby.. Safe to say you weren’t too fond of it.

But you were fond of the way Spencer’s eyes shone in a different sort of way when the two of you finally picked out a pumpkin each, the way his mood seemed unwavering during the fall season.

You loved him, and you loved halloween.

[httpsleclerc]

a villa in biot

summary: Charles and Gasly!reader are in love with the one thing they can't have - each other.

w/c : 1.6k

c/w : terrible ending? nothing, I dont think there actually is any

Charles wasn't quite sure when he had fallen in love with you - But he knew he shouldn't have. You were like a forbidden fruit for him, dangling in front of him, something he could touch, hold, smell, but never have for himself. It was cruel. It was so cruel that you just so happened to be his best friends younger sister, and his younger brothers best friend. 

You had all grown up together, Charles and Pierre having done karting together for many years, you had been on family vacations together, he had watched you grow from a shy young girl, attached to her brother at the hip, to a confident young woman, who admittedly, was still attached to her brother at the hip. He found it unfair that you had to be Arthur's best friend and not his, maybe that would make his love for you more justifiable - but how could he tell his younger brother that he was truly, madly deeply in love with you? 

To cut a long story short, he couldn't.

He didn't want to hurt you or Arthur, he didn't even know if your feelings were the same as his, and he couldn't face the embarrassment of it all if you didn't. So he had to try and move on. However, as hard as he tried, he couldn't. Everywhere he went, he was looking for you. He dated girls that looked like you, down to a t, but they didn't have your infectious laughter, so he looked for girls who shared your laughter, but they didn't look like you. It was impossible to find you in all of the girls he dated, so he eventually gave up, accepting that he could never have the one girl that he truly wanted, as much as it broke his heart to accept.

As it came time for your annual family vacation with the 3 Leclerc boys, you found yourself newly single, breaking things off with your boyfriend of 3 months due to the fact that he was nothing like how you thought he was - you thought he could fill the Charles shaped hole in your heart. You hated yourself for wanting him, he was your best friends older brother, and your older brothers best friend. As much as you wanted him, you remembered the promise you made to Pierre, that you would never go near any of the people he raced against, especially Charles. 

You sighed as you sat on your suitcase, forcing it shut and having Arthur zip it shut for you, he shook his head as he grabbed your hand and helped you up onto your feet.

"How much did you pack, we're only going for 4 nights?" Arthur asked you with a chuckle, looking at your suitcase and then you as you shrugged with a grin.

"Just because you're a guy and can fit all of your things into your backpack, some of us are actually civilised," You jokingly critiqued your best friend, who feigned offence at your 'mean' comments. "And anyway, I wasn't sure on outfits so I had to take two options for at night, I'm probably gonna be in a bikini for most of the day anyway." You told him, acting as though your explanation was the most common knowledge thing on earth. 

"I'm going to go out on a crazy whim and suggest that you haven't shown Pierre your choice of bikini's, because he was not happy when me and you went to Ibiza when we turned 18 and you were like, half naked," Arthur reminded you, your joint 18th birthday trip to Ibiza had been eventful, with Arthur getting so drunk he forget where your hotel was and you, even drunker, had to try and find him through his Snapchat location.

"You weren't complaining that week, Tutur," He shook his head at your comment and put your suitcase on it's wheels, saying that he would carry it down the stairs for you. You also knew that Charles wasn't complaining about your instagram pictures that week, since he was the first person to like every photoset that you posted.

Charles watched as you leaned against your brother, your face illuminated by the orangey-red glow of the fire burning in front of you, a half glass of the last of the limoncello in your hand, which Pierre took from you, despite your protests.

"It's late and you're already drunk, take it easy," He gently scolded you, since he understood that maybe you were drowning your sorrows following your recent break up. Pierre huffed as he stood up, placing the glass on the table beside him. Soon after, Pierre called it a night for himself, placing a kiss on the top of your head and jokingly telling you that he'd know if you drank the rest of the glass of limoncello - Lorenzo and Arthur followed soon after him, leaving only you and Charles in the living room of the Villa you had rented in Biot. Charles shifted to sit beside you, his heart racing as he realised just how close the two of you now were.

"How's your boyfriend?" Charles asked you, watching as you nervously fiddled with your hands and the ring on your finger, one that Pierre had bought you for your 21st birthday a couple of years ago.

"I broke up with him," You deadpanned to Charles, any semblance of a filter you had disappeared completely when you were drunk. You looked up at him, a flicker of desire burning in your eyes. "He wasn't who I thought he was. How's your girlfriend?" You asked him, noticing the way his eyes flicked away from yours.

"We broke up, same reason as you," He told you. The two of you sat in silence for a minute, you leaning into Charles' embrace as he put his arm around you. "Who did you think your boyfriend was?" Charles asked you, his voice dropping lower than you had ever heard it. You licked your lips, your breath shaky as you looked up at the Monegasque driver.

"I thought he was you, Charles," You admitted quietly, having no time to react before he leant into you, pressing his lips onto yours in a passionate kiss. You leaned into his kiss, your hands snaking up to the back of his head, hands entangling through his brown hair. Then you suddenly sobered up. Oh God. You were kissing your best friends older brother. Your brothers best friend. Oh God. 

Oh fuck. You abruptly pulled away, unable to look at the middle Leclerc sitting in front of you. "I um," You stuttered over your words, the words which you wanted to say but couldn't force out. "I should go to bed, goodnight Charles." You didn't mean to be so abrupt and harsh with him as you stood up, wobbling a little as you made your way into yours and Pierre's shared bedroom, your aforementioned older brother already asleep and hanging out of the single bed in the opposite corner of the bedroom.

You and Charles managed to get through the rest of the vacation without many hiccups, the other 3 boys on the trip putting your strange moods down to your respective recent breakups. Upon yours and Arthurs return to your shared apartment in Italy, you realised that you were lying through your teeth to your best friend, about how you had all but confessed to Charles how much you loved him, and your heat of the moment kiss with him. 

And you almost forgot about what had happened in the villa in Biot.

Then he was at your apartment, his eyes rimmed red as if he had been crying, looking pitiful as he sat on the couch.

"Charles, what are you doing here?" You asked, dropping your bag beside the sofa and sitting beside him, unsure of what to do to try and comfort the older Monegasque. He sniffled as he shook his head, looking up at you as he stood up. "Charles?"

"What?"

"What is going on? Why are you here?" You stood up and faced him, looking up into his eyes as he looked down at you. "Tell me what is going on. Please." There was a tense silence as Charles looked away from you, shaking his head as he pulled back from you.

"I need to know, Y/N," He was almost pleading with you, but you didn't know what to tell him, you didn't know what he wanted from you, what he wanted to know. You shook your head with an exasperated sigh.

"You need to know what, Charles? I don't know what you want from me," You were growing increasingly frustrated. He grabbed your hands, and you locked eyes.

"I need to know. Do you love me?"

You went silent, it was like all the air had been sucked from your lungs, and your brain was no longer processing anything. What did you tell him? Would you be honest and admit your undying love for him? Or would you think of your friendship with Arthur, and your promise to Pierre?

...

...

...

"I love you, Charles."

[slayingfiction]

How I push through writing when I don't feel like writing.

Here are some of the techniques that I use to help me write more often or more consistantly when my laziness/depression/anxiety starts to take over.

I watch TV. I don't do it with the purpose of zoning out though. I watch something popular and well-liked such as the LOR or Harry Potter to get new ideas on how I can develop my story and apply their in-depth world-building ideas to help develop mine. Without plagarizing of course!!!!

Zoning out and daydreaming. As I have mentionned before, daydreaming is a huge part of my story outlining and world-building process. I'll stand in the shower, or take a walk and think about how my charcaters would act/react/behave in situations, mundane or not. Doing this gives me a better sense of my characters, and sometimes gives me ideas for scenes I use later on.

Work on writing related projects. These work well at keeping me distracted while still being productive on my writing goals. Example, I have one story I am working now, I made a new language (alphabet and numbers included) to include as a cool and fun component for the book. So, at times when I don't wan't to write, I continue creating the dictionary (very fun, 8/10 would recommend). Also, for the same book, my characters don't work off the Georigian calendar and 24 hour clock, so I've been working at creating a new calendar (harder than it seems, 2.5/10 dont recommend). These are side projects that help my story, without having to write.

Reading. You saw this one coming, I know. Reading is great, especially when you're editing, your writing style will unconsciously change to be more similar the author you were just reading. Also, most importantly, I'll be reading and think, "this story is really good, but you know what story I like even better? Mine." then change to writing.

This one is my biggest life saver!! I learnt about a year ago that sometimes I'll get bored of writing a story, and have difficulty keeping on track. That's why I finished my first book in 2016 and just started editing the first draft last week. The solution for me was to work on multiple projects at once, because it was much harder to be bored of multiple stories. I stick to 2, but will sometimes add a third. This is easy for me, because I have a list of over a dozen series I want to write. Don't abandon one project for another, use them as a distraction/ motivation for each other, so you're always furthering at least one project. I've never heard someone say, "oh no, i accidentally worked on this other writing project for three months instead of the other writing project I was doing. Dammit." No, we're just happy we have written something. Be sure to have well outlined story lines before starting, don't just start writing randomly or you'll reach a point where you don't know where to go from there.

Author/ writer projects. Maybe this is building a following, or community to share your projects and engage with. Tumblr, Insta, Reddit, whatever it is. My hope this year is to start up my website to offer publishing services (editing, graphic design, short writing courses) and build a following as a writer. (See what I did there? Never a bad time to self-promote ;) ) Having your own projects like this will help you in the future when you're going to try to publish and sell your books!

Talk with friends and a writing community. Never underestimate the passion that will burn inside you when talking about your story, or when others are talking about theirs. Surrounding yourself with a positive writing community can be the best thing for you as a writer.

Write or read (your story) every day. I'm not going to be one of those people that say you need to write 1000 words a day, that's a lot. But maybe try for 100? That could maybe only take 5 minutes, and at the end of the year that's still over 36 thousand words of a novel. Or just read your story, and I've always found it helped me get in the creative mood.

Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your characters, your story, or just puts you in the mood to write. Then play it ONLY when you're having trouble writing. Playing it while writing will not help, you'll get annoyed with the songs.

Just really can't do it today? That's okay, take a break. You deserve it. There's always tomorrow.

Does anyone else have ways they push themselves to keep writing? Let us know in the comments!

Happy Writing!

[looooochie]

𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘆 | lamine yamal

summary: lamine toys around with his girlfriend.

TODAY, WAS YOUR sister's 19th birthday. And as she should, and of course, she invited you to it.

your outfit:

You were doing your makeup, as your partner was preparing to go to practice. He looked at you, and smiled.

Lamine admired your pale blue dress, and the all the accessories such as the butterfly hair clip in it.

As you already know, the Moroccan is a bit mischievous. And you felt a pair of eyes staring at you, and next thing, you slightly jump and the lipstick got misplaced on your face. All Lamine did was smirk as you gently tap his cheek.

"Lamine... now I have to do my makeup all over again.." you say in a tsundere-ish tone. "So what? Aren't I allowed to jumpscare you a little?" he replies slyly.

"No.. Now dont you have training to get to?" you ask. His smile faded almost immediately.

"Shit.. I gotta go!" he says giving you a kiss, and his spit went into that kiss. He wipes it off which smudges your makeup even more. He did it on purpose.

"See you at the party later!" Lamine says, before getting out the door.

Wait what? What did he mean by 'See you at the party later' ? You didn't think much of it, before getting your makeup kit and repairing the smudged parts.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋ ✧˚.༘⋆

After getting out the car, you look at your sister's house, it. Was. Lit. You could even see some people standing outside the house, that's how lit it really was.

You walking in through the front door to see tons of people in there. A lot of ballons, the music was blasting, and vice versa. Then you go to the backyard and yeah, pretty much the same, but with some people in the pool.

Excited, you search around your sister, and you find her, she looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a tiara, a black dress along with some jewelry and black gloves to finish it off. You go up to her and she sees you.

(I'm just going to use Sira as an example of your sister's name)

Sira runs up to you, enveloping you in a warn, loving hug. "Hey, I'm glad you made hermana!" she says, very happy to see you.

I mean, Sira went out of Barcelona to fulfill her acting dreams and hadn't seen you in about 3 years. So she was. ECSTATIC.

"So, how has acting been for you?" you ask smiling. "Its been good. I'm just excited you're here." Sira replies. She moves her head a bit and sees your partner going in.

"Hey Y/N.. What's your boyfriend here for?" she asks. You turn around and your eyes widen. Lamine comes in and starts talking with the boys there.

"Uhh Sira.. I'm just going to Lamine. Is that okay?" you ask, a bit stressed. "Sure. I don't mind!" Sira replies. You slowly run towards Lamine and luckily, you didn't trip because of your Converses.

When you get to Lamine, you rapidly tap his shoulder. And he turns around. "Amor.. What the fuck are you doing here??"

"Oh, we got off training early and your sister's boyfriend,also known as my teammate, let me come." he smiles and slightly shifts so you could see him.

"Hey, what's good Y/N?" he begins. You smile and look at him closely, then you realize that it was Alejandro Balde, Barça's left back. "Hey, you're Alejandro Balde right?" you question.

"Yep, that's me. And by the way, I'm your sister's boyfriend." Alejandro smiles. "Thats cool dude. How long have you and Sira been dating?"

"Oh, it's been about two weeks. We met on Instagram and we liked eachother ever since." Alejandro replies. Next thing you knew, you found yourself having a conversation between Lamine and Alejandro, your new friend.

Ale looks around and sees the people gathering around. "Oh guys, we're about to go sing happy birthday now." Alejandro says, as he gets up from the sofa and goes in the garden. You and Lamine join him and walk towards the garden, hand in hand.

(I'm lazy asf so skip)

You look at the cake you were eating and you were stewing a little. It did feel a little stuffy in there so you wanted to take a breather. You go outside and sit on the porch, looking at the night sky.

The door opens and Lamine goes outside aswell and sits next to you. "Why did you just walk out like that?" Lamine asks.

"It was a little hard to breathe in there, and it was really chaotic." you reply. In return, Lamine pulls you close and puts an arm around you.

"I get you. It kinda was crowded." "Thanks." you say, and give him a kiss on the cheek. This moment was the best, just you, Lamine, and the, dark, night sky.

"Hey, remember when we got our first tattoos?" you ask, breaking the silence. "Yeah, that was actually pretty cool. I used to think if you get a tattoo, you're putting scribble scrabble on yourself." Lamine laughs.

You look down and your arm, and the ink it has. It was Lamine's debut date for Barcelona, you practically had to get that on you. Meanwhile his tattoo is of your name and birthday, so he had two.

"The tattoo thing was a really good idea Y/N." "I know." you responded as you, shift closer to Lamine and just, be there. For him.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "unknowingly" cheating on my girlfriend?

🤍🍇 so i recognize post

preface: yes i am, theres no excuse, i just want to hear more ppl's thought because different ppl in my life have very different opinions on this??? even though i think cheating is cut and dry?

earlier this year, i (20nb, tho i was 19 at the time) was in a purely monogamous relationship with my ex (19f). there were ups and downs, i had some issues that i really shouldve talked to her about, but overall it was the best experience. id never dated anybody before. she's the only person who ive ever loved in that way. i think shes the best person, funny, smart. i was really lucky to have her.

i have another friend, who i'll call H (21f), who has been my friend for years. we're really close, and we've shared a lot with each other. i also love her deeply, though in a different, entirely platonic way. she has told me that she loves me, and has loved me in romantic ways, even though i've never reciprocated (im fine with that, everyone in my main friend group is a little bit polyamorous).

there were two main incidents that happened between me and H. the first, i didnt really understand what was going on or that it was entirely wrong. we were cuddling, which i do with all of my friends, and she started getting really into it and getting on top of me. she asked if she could kiss me (on the lips) and i said no, partly because, well, i had a monogamous partner, and partly because i hate kissing on the lips. i probably shouldve entirely cut it off at that moment. my only excuse (which is pretty flimsy) is that, im kinda aroace so physical affection and the difference between platonic and romantic have always left me a little confused. i kinda thought this was normal, especially because H is polyamorous and in several relationships that heavily blur the lines between platonic and romantic.

then, about two weeks after that, H and i hung out again, but this time we were smoking marijuana. weed makes me highly suggestible and also incapable of remembering anything past about five seconds. not that im blaming the drugs, just describing the situation. basically, H and i were cuddling again when she decided to move on top of me and got flirty, with a lot of touching sensitive places for the purpose of getting a reaction (all above the belt). i went along with this because i respect H, ive known her for a long time, and i didnt want to say no to her. again, not an excuse, because she didnt force me to do it.

in the moment, i didnt think this was cheating. we werent doing anything explicitly sexual, we weren't making out, but we were definitely frisky and i know H was horny at the time. a couple hours later, when i sobered up, i suddenly realized what we had done and asked H if i had just cheated on my girlfriend. she also seemed to realize what had just happened and we agreed that i had cheated, that it was entirely wrong, and we should never do it again.

i decided to tell my ex about this immediately, because i thought she should know. i asked if she was in a position to hear bad news, and when she was, i was completely honest. she obviously didnt take it well, mentioning how she felt like she could never trust me again despite being the person she trusted most in the world. she loved me but this was unacceptable and a huge violation. i agreed, and after a bit of thinking, i told her that i thought we should break up. i had terrible guilt about what i'd done and assumed that we'd never recover, and it didnt seem like she could pull the plug, so i did.

she proceeded to get even more mad at me because of this, which in hindsight is completely understandable. from her perspective, i had just dropped two emotional bombs on her, and maybe i was implying that i liked H more than her. i wasnt, and i dont, but i know why it came across that way.

my other friends agreed with me that i shouldve broken up with her after that. in hindsight, i dont know if it was the right choice. i miss her dearly and wish i had worked more on the relationship.

we've since talked about it. i told her that i still loved her (bc i do, very deeply, and i dont know if i'll ever get over her) but said that i dont expect anything, dont expect a relationship, etc. she was okay with this because, in her words, she trusts me to not make it a big deal or awkward. we hang out frequently now, we watch anime together, and we get along well as friends. i feel so lucky that she is willing to spend time with me, that she still enjoys my company even a little bit.

the confusing part is that i told my dad about this and he basically said, "you were 19yo in a long distance, online-only relationship. this was inevitable and you shouldnt feel too bad about it. it was wrong but not the worst thing ever." i dont really agree with that, because it was a pretty serious relationship despite being online. we even met up at a convention and spent several nights together in a hotel. it was the happiest weekend of my life. i thought i could marry her maybe someday. and i dont think being 19yo justifies it. 13yo maybe, but i was old enough to know right from wrong, even if my knowledge about romantic and sexual relationships was underdeveloped.

basically, im looking for nuanced opinions. i fully expect the results to be YTA. im hoping ppl can give me any sort of insight in the comments.

PS: H is partially to blame bc she knew i was in a monogamous relationship but please dont hate on her too much in the comments, we've had a lot of talks about this and what happened drastically changed the way the both of us see relationships and each other. basically, she learned her lesson and she was never trying to be a bitch or a homewrecker. i know her well enough to know shes a good person at heart. she's also not on tumblr to see any of your comments. direct all of you criticism towards me, please.

What are these acronyms?

[neobomb]

give into things i (dont) want to [mark lee]

Toxic! (yandere ish) possessive/jealous! bsf!Mark x nerd! innocent!reader, hints of Jaemin x reader. Warnings: dark and triggering content, mature themes, toxic behaviour, manipulation, forcing??, inappropriate behaviour, MDNI, there will be smut in other parts First part of the give into things i (dont) want to series. [Pt.1] [Pt.2] Word Count: 1.1k Summary: Your best friend Mark doesn't like it when you go out on a date. © 2023 @neobomb. Unauthorized copying, translation, manipulation, or alteration of this work is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

“Who did you go on that date with?” Mark's voice was tinged with impatience. You paused, your attention torn between the problem sheet in front of you and his probing question.

“Seriously, Mark? Now’s not the time.” Your voice was weary, the familiar topic weighing on you.

“Look, Y/N, we’ve been inseparable since we were kids. I’m your best friend. You’re supposed to tell me everything.” His voice softened, his desperation evident. There was always a buzz of curiosity about you, mainly because dating was never your focal point. Your peers saw you as a diligent student, so engrossed in academics that romance was a distant thought.

Taking a deep breath, you met his eyes. “Okay, I’ll tell you. But promise you won’t overreact.” You knew Mark all too well. Over the years, you'd come to understand Mark's protective streak. It wasn't just about keeping suitors at bay; it was deeper than that. He was ever-present, casting a watchful eye over anyone who tried to get close. Sometimes, you wondered why you tolerated his constant presence, but a part of you appreciated the bond you two shared. After all these years, he stuck to you like glue.

“I went out on a date with Jaemin last friday when you were on your way back from Canada. He took me to his favorite café. That’s all.” you blurted out. For a moment, the room felt still, the weight of your words settling between you.

“I was just curious, you know.” he murmured, his gaze drifting to your lips. “I was away for two damn weeks and you’re already looking to replace me.” Confusion clouded your eyes as you met his gaze. A tangible hint of betrayal was evident in his expression. You could sense the tension building between the two of you. “Mark, don’t say it like that. You know that you’re irreplaceable to me.” The pain in his eyes was unbearable, and you wished you could take back your words. Regret surged through you for having shared that piece of information with him.

“I’ve come to realize that… I don’t even like him in that way. We're just planning to hang out as friends, that's all.” Even as the words left your lips, you knew Mark could see through them. That was a blatant lie, a desperate attempt to make the situation better. You’ve had a crush on Jaemin for ages, and you never expected him to ask you out. 

“Jaemin is the complete opposite of you. He’s too cocky and you’re very naive. He doesn’t deserve you.” A shadow of disappointment crossed Mark's face, his intense gaze making it difficult for you to meet his eyes.  

“You shouldn't surround yourself with people like him. He won’t ever be your true friend. Why isn't just having me in your life enough for you?“ A tear slowly fell from your eye out of sheer distress. The last thing you wanted was for Mark to feel undervalued. In truth, he meant more to you than words could express. No one knew you like he did. He would do anything for you. You did not deserve him. 

“I’m sorry, Mark,” you whispered. Gently, he cradled your face in his hand, brushing away the tear with his thumb. 

“You’re so pretty when you cry.” he murmured, his face moving closer. Just as your lips were almost brushing against each other, you turned your head, breaking free from his hold, refusing to give into whatever he desperately tried to manipulate you into. “You’re really hurting me, you know that, right?” he says in disappointment. 

"If by 'hurting you' you mean not letting you use this situation to manipulate me, then yes," you responded firmly, realizing the precariousness of the situation. The wetness of your tears was replaced by a steely resolve as you recognized the toxicity of his approach. “It’s both a blessing and a curse that we know each other so well” he smirked and continued to let silence fill the room for the next hour or two. 

"Did anything happen between you and Jaemin?" he asked, attempting to redirect the conversation and breaking the long comforting silence. “I bet he tried to kiss you.”

“No, I was too self conscious to let anything happen.” you responded, your pen moving steadily across your notebook, scribbling rounded shapes. 

“So you need someone you’re comfortable with. Someone you can fully trust.” he says in a husky voice while his hand grabs your thigh, slowly making moves up your thigh, playing with the hem of your skirt. 

“Mark, don’t-'' you stop him. Placing both of your hands on his, pushing it away from moving dangerously close to your inner thigh. “Y/N, give me one good reason why we can’t continue this.” He grips onto your wrist, making you stop in your tracks. “We’ve been through this many times, Mark. I can give you a million reasons.” 

“You say a lot of things, Y/N” he whispers to you softly, closing the distance between the two of you once again. Mark is tired of hearing your nonsense. He is resentful of the confines of the title 'best friend' you assigned him. He yearns for you to see beyond those constraints, to envision a future with him. He desperately wants to be more than your friend, yet the fear of confessing and potentially losing you holds him back. It has been holding him back for years. 

“None of your reasons can explain the look you give me. I mean, you don’t look at someone like that unless you’re in love, right?” Your cheeks flush, taken aback by his ability to see right through you. Breathless, you find yourself entranced as his eyes flit between your lips and your gaze. His grip held your thigh so tightly, nails digging into your sensitive skin. 

“I’m scared, Mark. This feels weird.” you say while desperately trying to look away from him. Your attempts would ultimately fail as he brings his hand to cup your chin, forcefully turning your face to meet his. His intense stare is making you shake to your core. 

“The panic in your face does wonders to me” he says as he finally presses his lips onto yours, kissing you roughly. His endless passion pouring into the kiss made you swallow your meaningless innocent pleas in between kisses. You were unaware of the depth of his yearning, blind to the years of unwavering devotion he had silently offered you. He has been longing for you for way too long. His patience has run out. 

[thebluemallet]

EARLY Predictions for Bridgerton Season 4

BENEDICT IS OFFICIALLY CONFIRMED TO BE THE LEAD FOR SEASON 4!

I've had this in my drafts for a couple of weeks. But now that Benophie is officially happening next season, I have some EARLY predictions for the next season. I'll have more predictions when we finally have a clip or a trailer, but for now I'm gonna cast a wide net for what I think will happen in season 4.

1- MASQUERADE!

They really name-dropped that masquerade ball like Tahani Al-Jamil name drops her celebrity friends. And they mentioned it in the promo with Luke T. The masquerade ball is happening! My guess is it'll happen somewhere in the first two episodes of season 4. This will be where Benedict meets his Cinderella/mysterious Lady In Silver/Sophie Beckett.

The code name for season 4 is supposed to be Vauxhall, where we saw Daphne and Simon launch their fake dating plot in season 1. That was a public ball, which means that anybody who could pay the fee could get into it. Perhaps we'll return there for the masquerade ball. Makes much more sense for Sophie to be able to crash that instead of a private ball at the Bridgerton house.

Let's just hope her carriage doesn't turn into a pumpkin before she can make her escape.

2- A Possible Time Jump

In Benedict's book, he meets Sophie at the masquerade, she runs away at midnight, and then he doesn't see her again for another two years. I think a time jump could happen again. Specifically for a few of my upcoming predictions.

Also, it would add to the drama.

Can you imagine the reaction from the fans with the screen fades to black and then some text fades in that reads TWO YEARS LATER?

3- Kate and Anthony Might Not Make An Appearance Next Season

Possibly an unpopular opinion, but I almost dont know why they bothered with having Kate and Anthony in season 3. It seemed like it boiled down to "We're here! We're hot! We're horny! And we're fucking off now! Bye!"

At least when Daphne showed up in Anthony's season she helped drive the plot forward and tried to help guide her brother on the bumpy road to matrimony. Anthony had one half-assed conversation with Colin about his engagement to Penelope. Kate did most of the heavy-lifting when it came to important talks with the family. She did most of the talking to Colin the night before his wedding to Penelope. (Not that it mattered because all of her work was undone the moment Charlotte showed up to the wedding.)

Kate also gets credit for speaking with Eloise to try and smooth things over between her and Colin. And then they left their family for a third time to go all the way to India, a journey that's going to take them six months one way.

But with a time jump, that would give enough time for Anthony and Kate to go to India, have their baby, spend some time there, and then make the long journey back to be present after the time jump with a toddler.

(With how pregnant Kate was looking at the wedding, I would not be surprised if she gave birth at sea. She and Anthony did not think that plan through at all. And why the hell did they leave without attending Francesca's wedding??? And when the Queen was certain that a Bridgerton was behind Lady Whistledown???)

Anthony and Kate being absent would also be a convenient way to keep the Bridgerton House set around for a little while longer.

Anyway, sending Kate and Anthony off to India felt like a way to let Jonny and Simone do other projects for a season instead. Jonny himself is probably gonna be busy with all of the press for the upcoming Wicked movie. So if the announcement comes that they won't be around, I wouldn't be surprised.

4- Last Season for Queen Charlotte Queen Charlotte Lives Forever!

Bridgerton is not known for being 100% historically accurate. And let's face it, even if it were, people would still be complaining about the historical inconsistencies. But one thing Bridgerton is creeping up on is the year 1818. And it's in November of that year that the real-life Queen Charlotte passed away.

Season 4 will, I assume, start in 1816. If they do a one-year time jump, we'll get the rest of the season in 1817 when the main events of Benedict's book take place. If they do a two-year time jump, like they did in the books, then we'll be in 1818 and we'll be in the year we say goodbye to Queen Charlotte.

BUT, the showrunners have pretty much said that they've decided the show exists in an "alternate universe" and they're just going to keep Queen Charlotte around for a while.

The Queen lives. Long live the Queen.

5- Eloise Meets Sir Phillip Crane (?)

While the masquerade references were heavy-handed, the references to Philoise were more subtle. In episode 3x02, Eloise wears a dress that is patterned with the same flower that was gifted to her by Sir Phillip in the books. And in 3x05, when trying to make herself feel better about her betrothal, Cressida tells Eloise that the two of them can "flirt with widowers." The showrunners are slowly setting up the Eloise/Phillip dynamic--they have been since season 1. I think they'll set more things into motion in season 4 and set them up for season 5.

Eloise already expressed to Kate how she felt as if everyone was pairing off and leaving her behind. Benedict's marriage will end up being the tipping point for Eloise.

Phillip would have lived the life of a botanist/academic if it weren't for his brother's tragic passing. Perhaps his academic connections could play a part in Eloise's desire to meet new people and change the world?

If they meet in season 4, it could be the catalyst for them to begin to exchange letters like they did in the books. Which will ultimately set them up for their story in season 5.

Of course, this also means that Marina is going to have to die offscreen at some point 😐

6- Cressida Redemption (?)

One of my major gripes with season 3 was that they gave so much time to the threesome subplot that two other subplots seemed to have no real conclusion or were dropped completely. One of the subplots that didn't get wrapped up as nicely as it could have was Cressida's. We didn't see her reaction to Penelope unmasking herself as Lady Whistledown. She just kind of...left.

There is a long-standing fan theory that Cressida will have a part to play in the Benedict/Sophie story based on a piece of script that named Cressida's mother "Araminta". If this is true, then I think we'll see Cressida in some way next season. And maybe she'll get a happier ending. I never thought at the beginning of the show that I'd want Cressida to end up happy somewhere, but boy season 3 did a great job of making me actually sympathetic to her character.

7- Another Offscreen Wedding

One thing that I know frustrated Kathony fans last season was not seeing an onscreen wedding for Kate and Anthony. I mean, we saw a wedding, and Kate and Anthony were there, but he almost got married to the wrong person. The closest we got was Anthony disassociating so hard that he astral projected himself into an alternate reality.

The only onscreen weddings to canonical spouses we've seen have been the Daphne/Simon, Colin/Penelope, and Francesca/John weddings. But if anybody was hoping to see an onscreen wedding with Benedict in season 4, think again.

I believe that the drama of Benedict and Sophie's story will keep up through all eight episodes of their season. And, like Kate and Anthony's season, we'll flash forward in time at the end of the episode to Benedict and Sophie several months into their marriage. But we won't get to see the actual wedding.

8- Crossdressing Sophie (?)

Admittedly, this is less of a prediction and more wishful thinking on my part. This is the route I would go down if I was writing for the show, anyway.

Show!Benedict now being canonically pansexual has opened up the possibility for him to have an LGBTQ+ partner. But I have a slightly different idea. One plot point of Benedict's book is that Sophie, after running away from her stepmother's house, cuts off all of her hair to sell when she's desperate for money.

I think Show!Sophie could still get her hair cut off like in the book, and then go around disguised as a man for safety/freedom of movement/job opportunities. Then Benedict gets confused when he discovers Sophie in "boy mode" because he hasn't felt this level of attraction to someone since his Lady In Silver.

Maybe we'll get a Victor/Victoria scenario out of it (woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman).

Like I said, this is less of a prediction and more of the route I would go down if I was writing for the show. It probably won't happen this way. But maybe I'll give fanfic writers some plot bunnies.

[mmyashas]

COMUNICADO IMPORTANTE: quackitytoo

TRANSCRIPTION -> TRANSLATION BELOW THE READ MORE. i am not an experienced translator and some may be a bit off, but i've done my best to translate all of it!

hello, hello! hello everyone. good night– good night everyone, i hope you're all well. um, i did this stream since i'm making an announcement to talk to you all in relation to qsmp's structure. i know people have questions, about a lot of things. so, i hope this will help you understand a little bit more. i'll be saying all of this in spanish since i find it easier to find the words– in spanish, as it's my native language.

i want to give you and explain a bit of context about everything. these last three weeks have been incredibly turbulent in many, many aspects. the restructuring process that's in course for the project hasn't been very easy. before my involvement— and i've said it before— there were people that affected the project in damaging ways, financially and administratively. i had already commented about this.

and i haven't spoken about giving updates and nothing of that nature and i haven't spoken about it since all the updates i've had are internal and of the legal type. hence why, there's no visible changes but they're changes that have to happen. i reaffirm, malicious people have been removed from the server and i'm still in (legal) processes against people who've caused many of this damage since the start. and that has been one main focus of this restructuring that's been happening.

guys, i want to leave this very clear. during all this process, all the words and actions that have been taken have to be done very, very carefully. recently, i've wanted to give many updates, such as internal and external, but we're against a really critical problem– that being leaked information.

i don't know if the people that leaked announcements or information from the inside knew that this was happening, but when i gave out private information and this info got leaked to places it shouldn't have gone– that affected the required process to solve a lot of stuff. and the people that harmed me both administratively and financially, that i've talked about in a past stream, were finding out about things and situations they shouldn't have and used this information to misrepresent and affect the process. so that complicated things– it's why i haven't given any announcements or talked freely as much as i wanted to. it's not to ignore or evade but there's a really, really delicate process going on.

and from the start, i knew in my involvement, to achieve a total change– we had to start with the people that affected me and the project. and caused a lot of the mistakes that have been occuring this whole year.

and when this could be defined, what was done was starting to find a financial strategy for the project since the project's costs are very high– and the project was going to close. i've also mentioned this before. and when i could define with strategies and events in the qsmp if there was a way to support the project, the next step was to restore different elements of the qsmp that no longer existed. and i want to make something clear, given the circumstances of the server i didn't want to make any promises to anyone i didn't know i could keep.

this is the reason i was figuring out this part and the financial part, and i couldn't give any more internal updates because i was working in an important part of the server, the financing. so, i understand and comprehend the lack of communication has been notorious. and i reaffirm, i tell you, it's not on purpose. there's a lot of situations i've tried to solve behind the scenes but i've had to be very careful. i understand if there's people that don't agree with the methods or the process. and if you dont trust in the project or the process– don't worry. there's no problem if you stop consuming the project. i totally understand. i've said i have a personal conviction with the project and it'll stay like that.

i've been working very hard and i'll do everything that's possible so the project keeps running but with the best conditions possible. and something i have to make clear is that this process takes time. i have to leave it clear– this process takes time. guys, there's people that have left the project and will keep leaving the project on their own will and i understand it fully. and i have no problem with someone that takes or will take that decision, and i wish them the best. in fact, i gave an internal announcement where i said that a restructure would take time to finish. and there's people that for reasons don't want to be part of that process. and i understand completely! because it's not easy to be in transitional phases.

something i said at the start was that my main objective was that this project came back to normal but with the best conditions. this is able to happen following the dynamics and examining the exact scenario for each person contributing to the project— and this isn't achieveable in three weeks. and all of this process continues.

so, giving you all a bit of context, behind a lot of things about the project. i ask you all, that keep wanting to do it, ask you your full patience. i don't want to promise or talk pretty. i want to make concrete decisions, and that's what i've been doing. if it's seen or not, it's what i've been doing. it's what i've been doing step by step.

friends, the changes i've been doing is for the best of the project and i'll say it transparently, the changes are for the good of the project and the people that love it. to the people who the project's impacted and the ones who keep up and love everything that this project's for. those people are the motivation and inspiration who the project was created for and is created for and the reason i'll keep doing the qsmp.

i'm not doing this, and i want to leave it very clear, i'm not doing this for the people that for a long while have wanted to see the project destroyed by actions that have demonstrated the- total opposite of love for the server. like not constructive comments, bad actions, bad wishes for me, the team, and any community that consumes the qsmp and the project in general. to me, all those people with damaging intentions don't matter to me that they stop consuming the project. leave that very clear!

and let's not forget something important guys, it's very difficult to build and way easier to destroy. to all the people that wants to join this building process is welcome, and those that want to maliciously destroy, this project from the start wasn't and isn't for you.

and lastly, i want to say these days i've received a lot of calls, emails and messages from people from a lot of parts of the world expressing what qsmp means to them. it's why i tell you punctually, that this project isn't over and i'll do what's necessary so each day it gets better. it's a process, step by step, that takes a while but i'm doing it. so, beforehand, i want to thank you for your trust and reaffirm my personal compromise to strengthen this project.

i hope this cleared up some doubts and given the necessary context to some people. and i reaffirm, i have a personal conviction with this project and i'll keep working to better it. just wanted to say that. thank you all and goodnight! bye!

[happyk44]

Grover getting busy and swamped with Lord of the Wild duties so he prefaces this to Percy early because he knows Percy gets worried when he's not as present. So it's just a quick text of "hey, I might be unresponsive for a bit, swamped with work, don't worry, love you" and Percy gets it so he sends back a thumbs up and a "love you too!"

Then time passes and the reality of Grover's silence begins to sink in. And it pokes and prods at Percy's borderline traits, makes him stressed and angry, frustrated and scared, terrified of being left by his best friend to the point of him vomiting up his feelings.

And Grover calls him a few days in and he's half panicked but also thrilled because certainly this means it's all over and Grover is back and talking to him and everything is okay, but it's not because the empathy link is strong and Percy's vibrant swirling emotions are make Grover dizzy, so, "hey, Perce, could you just relax for a bit, or put up that mental block you made me show you how to do after you carried the weight of the world on your back a few years ago"

And no no no no no. Percy's insides are imploding. Blood and guts and bile boil on the back of his tongue. He's a horrible friend, he's a horrible person. He doesn't deserve Grover. He just keeps hurting him.

Grover hisses sharply over the phone. "Percy, relax."

"Relax?" The words slip out of his mouth like a whimpering hiss. Anger cuts through him with a red hot blade. Self-loathing fills his wounds and replaces his blood with its cold sticky ooze. "I- You-"

"Okay, I'm going to put up the block," Grover says.

And no no no no no. Percy needs to know how Grover's feeling, needs to know he's okay, but the moment he tries, he's denied, left with something vague and uncomfortable. My fault, my fault, my fault, he thinks, a broken record.

"Percy, you can't panic every time I get a little quiet on you," Grover says, and Percy hates himself. "It's not fair to me."

"I'm sorry," Percy breathes. Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me.

"I know." There's a quiet sigh and then, weakly, "I'm just kinda tired of..." He doesn't say what.

Percy's heart shatters. His throat swells and sticks. Air feels impossible to breathe in. He's choking. Dont leave me, don't leave me.

"Look, I love you, okay? We're bonded for life, man. I'm not going anywhere," Grover promises. "So just. Try to settle, okay? I'll let you know when I'm free and we can catch up then. It's not gonna be forever. Just... a couple weeks."

A couple weeks should be doable. But Percy knows that there's a rottenness inside him that won't be able to handle it. Will get simmering and bubblings until it spills into all his bitter cracks. It'll leave him angry, rude. Desperate.

He wipes away the tears threatening to spill over the edge of his eyes, and tucks himself closer into the wall. "Yeah, yeah, that's fine, G-man, I'll be cool."

They both know he's lying.

Grover exhales so soft, this weary tired sound, and the shattered remains of Percy's heart that float endlessly in the void of his soul shatter even more. Why can't he just be normal? Why can't he be a good friend? Why does he keep ruining everything with everyone?

"Okay," Grover says. "I gotta get back to it. Bye."

The immediate end of the call after Percy's "bye, love you" crests through him like a tidal wave. Slams hard and heavy, cold and furious. He throws the phone across the room. It's not satisfying enough.

What is wrong with him, what is wrong with him? Why is he like this - needy, angry, pathetic? Why can't he chill out? Go with the flow? Relax on an inner tube and float idly with the current and the gentle waves.

Instead he's a rolling hurricane, destroying everything in his path. Island dwellers who've grown up dealing with it for so long just sigh and make preparations and shelter it. Newbies less so, cowering from his torrential rains and shattering winds. The ones used to it, they just tiredly sweep up the pieces when it's done and move on. They'd be fine, happy even, if he stopped coming around. If he stopped blowing their things around and breaking windows.

But others - the howls of wind, the threat of floods and lightning - it's too much. They're scared and in the aftermath, they nervously step around, unsure of how to handle the debris he leaves behind. They don't know to avoid the sharp branches, keep an eye out for broken glass, that the eye of the storm is a breather, not an end.

But the island dwellers do.

No wonder Grover is so tired.

[isdalinarhot]

on the state of kholin haterism on tumblr

this is gonna be a long one, so bear with me.

one thing i think that has changed in the tumblr fandom in the three years that ive been in it is that the culture in 2021 was ALSO at a largely anti-Kholin sentiment, but there were two key differences.

the first is that most people making critiques of such characters would use the tag #kholin critical, which was useful either if you were sensitive to criticism of one of the kholins for whatever reason AND if you wanted to read analysis of some of their faults by many different users under one tag.

the second is that said kholin critical criticisms were... less stupid? like a lot of it was talking about reddit fandom hypocrisy where dalinar was held up as righteous and badass and could do no wrong even though he had tons of personal and political faults that other characters (largely people who WERENT extremely powerful nobles) were demonized for. also a lot of stuff like "adolin is kaladins friend now but i dont think just categorizing it as simple enemies to besties is fair because adolin WAS being overtly racist to kaladin at the beginning there". a lot of discussion about how the Kholins treat darkeyes and characters of lower dahns where the bigotry there was being downplayed by fans in favor of the characters being painted both by fandom and in the universe of the books as Always Right All The Time. stuff like that.

that's not to say the whole kholin crit tag was all, like, stuff that isnt bullshit. people have been dunking on elhokar for being a whiny failking since the beginning of time. but the vibes were a lot different.

kholin critical kind of fell out of favor as a hashtag because most of us realized hey on a doylist level either the things we're criticizing the kholins for are purposeful character flaws that make for richer, more realistic, more engaging characters; or they're oversights from the moderate liberal Sanderson, in which case, why are we complaining about Dalinar doing this, when we should be complaining about Sanderson doing this. so this whole thing is stupid. and also by then the atmosphere on tumblr was way different, this was by and large the Moash Website and while people were haters about characters they did not put the hate in character tags so people largely avoided each others haterism. and there was peace for like a year and a half, i guess.

things are way different now. for context. i track the #dalinar kholin tag. so whenever my dash is dead im checking my tracked tags, and thus i see every original post about dalinar that someone decided to tag #dalinar kholin. and boy howdy, things have devolved. this used to be a chill experience for me, i'd see first time readers go OH MY GOD HE DID WHAT?????? during oathbringer and "[some philosophical shit dalinar said]" -brandon sanderson. follow for more inspiring book quotes" about three times a day, fanart once every couple weeks or so, stuff like that. but now a solid 75% of the posts in dalinars tag are like. hate. not literary criticism, but hate. sometimes about justified things, sometimes about unjustified things, but still, extremely negative.

in a bubble, that's fine. god knows ive been a hater on my blog before and ill be a hater on my blog again. and its not even like im opposed to reading well thought out criticism of my faves on any level because, like, dalinar is kind of a rat bastard! but like. listen. you don't put character hate in that character's tag. you don't do that. the people who are checking a character's tag are fans of that character and fandom is for fun. being a hater directly reaching out to the lovers for comment is rude as hell.

also a lot of the things people dislike about dalinar tie back to his neglectful fatherhood and his alcoholism which is, like, a thing i understand people would have strong negative feelings towards him for having because Neglectful Alcoholic Dad is like one of the top 10 kinds of abusive dads out there so lots of people have very visceral very personal experiences related to that. but when posting about this in any form whatsoever it feels like im having to go back to Treating Addicts Like Human Beings 101. like i feel like ive made a billion posts to the tune of "okay kids, you can do bad things while drunk and you are still responsible and you can also get drunk at inopportune times and you are still responsible, but the act of being addicted to alcohol does not make a character ontologically evil". and like thats. um. a personal thing but also oh my goodness.

i dont really have a conclusion to this. im just thinking goddamn its bleak out here right now.

[libraford]

While I'm bitching.

I dont mean to make this a bitching blog, but with them leaving on monday I have time to reconfigure my brain about all of it.

We live in a suburb that butts up to a nature preserve. So we see all kinds of wildlife from coyotes to deer. Most of the wildlife pics from my photo blog are from a nearby park.

There are mice in the garage.

It's a garage. It's an unsealed part of the house that's safe from predators and snow. It's going to get mice.

She wants to live on a farm some day. But she sees a mouse in the garage and suddenly has to rearrange the entire space because the way 'we' store things is attracting rodents. But not the way she just leaves piles and piles of cardboard from chewy or her amazon purchases (seriously a $300 inversion table that she used once and used her partner's credit card to get).

And I dont have much choice in how i store my stuff because the day we moved in they had already decided there was no room for my craft storage (its ugly, basically.) And it all got shoved in the garage.

Where the mice are.

So she sees a mouse and spends the whole day freaking out and moving our stuff around because we're slobs who dont know how to organize our stuff.

And now we cant find anything.

About a year ago, she got on an exercise kick and demanded that I clear my stuff from the garage so they could have an exercise room for themselves. Me and pock are still sharing a small nook that serves as our craft room, and the is no space to really spread out. But she gets an exercise room.

She never exercises. She has a back injury that makes it difficult for her to sit up for long periods of time.

Like... I tried to clear the garage, but I got 4 bins in before I ran out of room in the craft room, and now there's no way for me to access the things in there, either.

So sorry she didnt get her exercise room. We have a porch. We have a living room where you can move the couch. You can go to the park. You have a rec center membership. Sorry you didnt get a poorly ventilated exercise room full of mice.

If I can do yoga three times a week in this house, you can figure it out.

Later, I overhear her talking to her mom on the phone about why she wants to move to North Carolina and she says it's because theres no nature here. Its barren. Nothing will grow in ohio because of the chemicals they use on the farms. Theres no wildlife.

I'm assuming the mice dont count. But our town literally calls itself 'the city of parks.' Theres over 5000 acres of green spaces including a waterfowl preserve and more than one refuge. My boss at parks and rec is a conservationist. My job is to water all the fucking trees we planted last year.

Youd see all kinds of nature if you'd get outside the house, but you never fucking leave.

Which is kind of a minor point in the scheme of things. But it really pisses me off like 'oh poor me I'm a fucking liar.'

I'm so lazy, I wont repurpose an entire room for her benefit while shoving all my shit in a 5×10 space. I'm so awful.