#it feels AWFUL when these lyrics are relatable but hey

[cametotheshowinsd]

Who would you be sad with? And who would you deal with when they were sad? Grey skies every day for months, would you still stay?

[thestarsarecool]

Hearing "Mistress and Maid" next to "Eleanor Rigby," "For No One" and "Yesterday," I realized that McCartney's public image as an eternal optimist is not supported by his work. It was something I'd been circling around since I heard Steve Earle's new version of "I'm Lookin Through You," as bitter a put-down song as ever got softened in the studio. McCartney has certainly written lots of positive songs, but from "Hey Jude" and "Let It Be" to "That Day is Done" and "Put It There," his optimism is always in the face of a shadow. There is always some awful thing that has to be overcome. If there's a defining subtext in McCartney's music it's probably "Take these broken wings and learn to fly."

"Yeah, well," McCartney said quietly, "that's me I suppose. I think that the danger is if you just get into the happy songs then it can be a little bit music hall. It can get a little bit light. So I like to always have a little bit of edge, or else a little bit of tongue-in-cheek. You know, 'When I'm 64' isn't really a song about growing old, although on the surface it is. It's a joke song, but it has serious concerns in it, a little melancholy.

'Yesterday'--she went away and all that shit. 'Suddenly I'm not half the man I used to be.' But if you think about it, I was writing those in my early 20s! Talking about not half the man I used to be when I was barely a man!" I said, if you'd been half that man you'd have been eleven.

"They have more poignancy now," McCartney said, "just because of the water that's been under all our bridges. So we all now relate to those lyrics a little bit more seriously. Perhaps." He changed gears and said, "But you know, my composing has always been made up, it's a fantasy. I remember George Harrison saying to me when I did 'Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da,' 'How'd you do that? You don't know anyone named Desmond or Molly, you don't know any of these people.'

I said, 'I just like making up a story.' A short story writer doesn't necessarily know the pit and the pendulum, he hasn't necessarily been to Dracula's castle. But he makes it up as an escape in a way. I think a lot of my songwriting always was, and still is, an escape."

From?

"From the harsh realities of the world. If I'm in a bad mood, I always find that a good time to write a song. Go off on your own and put the feelings in a song rather than in someone's face. The fact that it's a musical vehicle seems to defuse it a bit. Rather than just shouting at someone or wagging a finger, you can get those emotions out.”

Paul McCartney in Musician Magazine, August 1st 1995.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/21/2023

awful lot of cooking content from me, who hates cooking but finds the evenings jittery and boring

listening

Doorbell by Sterling Press, off the spotify weekly recced playlist. i don't know that i like this song. i don't know that it's particularly good. goddamn if it isn't catchy. alt britpop, they hate being compared to blur but mmmm. you do hear it. notes of ska as well. a song to blast in your car when your spring break plans fell through and you're driving to the good target two towns away from your hometown.

i don't think this music video could have existed pre-pandemic-- idk doorbell cams were that ubiquitous or well known, despite heavy advertising from nest.

from an interview:

Speaking about the new release, they said, “We wrote the song in our mates garage using drum samples off YouTube. We spent all night writing it then in the early hours of the morning drove to Maccies to have breakfast and had it on repeat the whole time. We all fell in love with it straight away. These lyrics speak to the importance of authenticity and sincerity in your actions. In a world where appearances and pretences can be misleading, it's a reminder to be true to yourself and to avoid trying to impress others for the sake of it. “I feel like its an experience we all share. We all know someone who goes off to uni or gets a new job and you bump into them on the street and they act as if they have no idea who you are. I guess this song is reflection of our frustrations towards those people.”

they have what i would consider an unusual amount of hype and presence for a band that has exactly three songs out, but they've all been making music together and separately since well before the pandemic so maybe they've just finally broken out? i can't figure out who these kids are related to. i don't think it's a full on industry plant but i do think someone's dad has some money.

a friend once said she hated how eighties songs faded out like a printer running out of ink, and i do not particularly care for how 2020s songs end with the entire band vanishing underwater.

this song is truly not that deep but it is thoroughly stuck in my goddamn head.

listening: special podcast edition

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me. i am taking through a brain thing and having a weird workflow and brain problem. i have tried other apps with browser support and do not like them, and i cannot have my personal apple id tied to my work computer bc i have and frequently use a work apple id.

i have been listening to podcasts through Spotify ever since mmm november ‘20. it has not been a good experience but juggling the Apple Podcasts app through my phone (distraction minefield) and whatever im listening to or working on with the work computer is a nightmare. ethics of spotify aside, it is a tremendously successful all in one listening platform. i do not have the brainspace to manage my own music library, and support my favorite artists in other ways.

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me.

however, if you listen to enough podcast episodes, spotify does not seem to believe you when you tell it to unfollow a podcast. it just keeps letting you know hey this has a new episode. this got me stuck on a loop where i was listening to more and more episodes of two very prolific conspiracy theory debunking podcasts to the exclusion of almost everything else. this was not very good for my mental health.

i am not looking for solutions. do not say solutions at me.

despite the real annoyance of finagling a very distracting phone and the work laptop, i have gone back to Apple Podcasts and (after weeding out a variety of podcasts for a variety of reasons) started listening to friends at the table again. not sure why i stopped but i felt a weird amount of guilt around restarting?? the tablefriends neither know nor care. i have finally finished road to palisade and am excited but nervous about starting palisade proper

-

reading

a local religious thrift store has absolutely rancid vibes but does regularly have 6/$1 book sales. there were a couple older trade paperback comics the last time: the first three volumes of ULTIMATE XMEN and a radom What If? superman.

my trouble with the xmen, and i have to read something from it once every two years to remind myself, is that magneto is right. they will never be able to assimilate into white picket fence middle america, or even among the liberal coastal elites or whatever the term du jour was in 1999. the box will always be smaller and you will never be perfect enough. i did not enjoy this enough to continue bc of this fundamental disagreement with most xmen comics.

also it looks like this. magneto’s lair has an arch in the shape of the arch on the front of his helmet and that was pretty baller, but there’s a real. what was they gimmick blog about all the comic book women in contorted spine-breaking poses? it’s like that a lot. WHAT is ororo’s body doing there

-

watching

hey. what the fuck do you mean tomato sauce is that easy. i dislike tomato sauce and almost exclusively eat jar upon jar of aldi brand pesto. im not allergic bc tomatoes aren't tingly but it's just sort of Nothing all the time. what do you mean it can be good???

i don't actually remember why i'm subscribed to mr internet shaquille. perhaps, like so many other food things, it's kali's fault.

-

playing

g/enshinposting.

pulled this horrid little brat. very pleased with myself.

i do not. love. her story quest. it falls into the childrens' media trap of Sometimes It's Okay For Other People To Stomp All Over Your Boundaries If It's For The Good Of The Group! or perhaps this is just a thing i'm particularly twitchy about. either way, annoyed that other characters of this importance have gotten some deeply moving writing and so far furina has...not gotten that.

the next character i am excited about is lolita taylor swift, or geo-aligned lady with big fuckoff sword. from some early maybe-leaks i think she would pair beautifully with my playstyle and my pirate lady with big sword. my playstyle is mostly brute force damage. i hit things as hard as i can until they fall over and i've played the entire game (with some exceptions that required actual thinking about elemental reactions) that way. it pleases me.

re: the conclusion of the annapausis sidequest, genshin does a really good job of teasing out "ok in a world with actual gods, what does spirituality look like/what are the differing views on fate/how do people make sense of an afterlife". mostly this is gnosticism. and sometimes it's a real life occultist secret society (reskinned Rosicrucianism). fascinating writing choices.

-

making

turkey cottage pie with scalloped potatoes, bc i had a five-pound bag of russets that were starting to sprout. im just going to yoink this pic i posted earlier bc it is now half gone and in tupperware form

this is the first time ive ever cooked in a dutch oven and im in love. i thrifted this for $20 some weeks ago but bc the lid has some chips and rust i haven't used it. which is silly, bc the body of the oven is fine. de-rusting and seasoning the lid will wait for a day when i actually need it bc for now we can get by with doubled-over sheet of aluminum foil.

used this recipe: only had a pound of ground turkey and liberally stretched it with potatoes (i think about three and a half pounds out of five) and three pounds out of a cheap frozen veggie mix bag. did not include mushrooms bc i did not like them. threw in some bay leaves bc i have a giant bag of them, i think i almost doubled the wine bc i doubled the recipe, but i do not think i remembered to double the beef stock. i also shook in a liberal amount of italian seasoning bc i have a cheap jar from aldi i want to use up.

the final product was somewhat soupy. i anticipated that slicing the potatoes was going to be the longest part (mostly true, i had to take breaks) and kept them in a big bowl of cold water to stop them browning while i chopped and after i blanched them. i also could have reduced the filling down some more but i am not a patient woman.

not as intended but still yummy, which was a lovely surprise bc usually when i fuck recipes up i fuck them up But Good. plus new technique (dutch oven). if i make this again (likely) i will do instant potatoes on top bc this was a fuck of a lot of chopping for one recipe. thinking about getting one of those stupid little hand smash veggie choppers bc a full food processor is extremely out of budget.

[greenlikethesea]

album art by @bienmoreau -- brilliant, as always.

back so soon, yes, but hey, when inspiration strikes. this song off i’m not angry anymore pops up a lot in the most remarkable thing universe, whether mentioned in benefit or live setlists or on b-side and rarities albums, and the song title gripped me from the moment. what does it mean to be toothless? both @idiopathicsmile and i have, without communicating this with one another, decided that eddie plays with double entendre a lot, both from his characterization in the fic and from incredible meta from @greatunironic on her blog and in author’s notes. 

my version of eddie as a lyricist is still very fixated on the tension between his perceived cowardice and his reluctance to hurt steve with the essence of his being. i think it’s textually obvious from how delicate he is with steve, even after they consummate their feelings. but there are tender parts of him, and it’s impossible to keep that all inside, the love and god, the fucking jealousy. the most relatable man to ever exist, my ass lying about how cool i am with everything when i’m seething with jealousy at every possible moment.

check out the lyrical throwback to I Was A Boy, written by the incredible @idiopathicsmile -- I will possibly never recover from that one, thanks babe, haha!

lyrics:

I hate the thought of him ascending your stairs I hate imagining her hands in your hair And I pretend that I don’t really care But I do, Oh god, I do

When it comes to you, I’m too aware Keep my distance, make myself scarce To make you believe that I don’t really care But I do, oh god, I do

I’m begging you on hand and knee Don’t forget, forget about me At the end of the world, the boy disappeared But I’m grown now, I’m here, dear

When it comes to you, I’m too aware Keep my distance, make myself scarce To make you believe that I don’t really care But I do, oh god, I do

I’m begging you on hand and knee Don’t forget, don’t forget about me At the end of the world, the boy disappeared But I’m grown now, I’m here, dear

Need you something awful, something ruthless I’d have you blind, treasure you deaf, love you toothless Wait for you forever, it’s my fault you’re clueless I can’t have you know the truth Can’t have you know I’m toothless too

I’m begging you on hand and knee Please don’t forget, forget about me At the end of the world, the boy disappeared But I’m grown now, I’m here

I’m begging you on hand and knee Please don’t forget, forget about me At the end of the world, the boy disappeared But I’m grown now, I’m here, have no fear

I can’t have you know the truth Can’t have you know I’m toothless too

[ghostboyjules]

weeeeellllll hey folks! Finally back again - after ages of promising this - with Hob's playlist. I'm definitely not gonna be as wordy this time, mostly because I am Tired™, but hopefully these songs and their lyrics speak for themselves better than I could anyway. I'd like to dedicate this beast to these particular wonderful humans; @wordsinhaled, @wizardofgoodfortune, ily'all 🥺 y'all keep me creative <3 and to @landwriter for the amazing title inspo and just being super dope and having excellent Hob Gadling character takes in general.

This playlist is a lil more structured than Dream's was, so I don't recommend listening on shuffle, at least for the first time through, lol. I also have marked in my notes which songs relate to which like. Span of years, but tbh that could be kinda flexible, so use your heart ig asjhfvafbab Without further ado, below the cut will be my lyric selections and small note thingies. If you've read even this far, I thank you *mwah* (yes there's 30 songs I'm SORRY I can't be stopped 😭)

1389 –

Avi Kaplan – I’m Only Getting Started

[Verse 1]

Eyes clouded, blood on my face

No mercy coming my way

Yeah, I'm only getting started

Cracked knuckles, fist shaking

These rivers run, but I'm staying

Yeah, I'm only getting started

OKAY... thought this was kind of a cool one to open up with, plus the interesting thing about making this playlist is that I feel like I have a very linear sort of character progression to work off of, which is fun.. so this song speaks to me of that rough and tumble merc/bandit Hob of 1389... been through some shit, lost family,

Alice In Chains – Rooster

[Verse 2]

Walkin' tall machine gun man

They spit on me in my homeland

Gloria sent me pictures of my boy, mm-mm

Got my pills 'gainst mosquito death

My buddy's breathin' his dyin' breath

Oh God, please, won't you help me make it through? Mm-mm

[Chorus]

Here they come to snuff the Rooster, aw yeah

Yeah, here come the Rooster, yeah

You know he ain't gonna die

No, no, you know he ain't gonna die

this gives me very much merc or soldier Hob, kinda unhinged a lil bit cause he definitely should have died a few times there…but he didn’t.

The Mountain Goats – Up the Wolves

[Verse 1]

There's bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet

No matter where you live

There'll always be a few things, maybe several things

That you're going to find really difficult to forgive

There's gonna come a day when you feel better

You'll rise up free and easy on that day

And float from branch to branch

Lighter than the air

Just when that day is coming, who can say? Who can say?

makes me think about maybe after a long time at war or fighting as a merc or any plethora of things honestly, he’s like struggling with that.

Emigrate, Cardinal Copia – I’m Not Afraid

On the street that I remained

Some have made another hole

Could it be that I'm to blame?

When the ground has turned so cold

Can it be an audacing?

Can it be a guarded hole?

And what we say is just a game

The one we play 'til we get old

All, all the hands I have laid

All written along my face

I'm not afraid of anything

I just let it go

And now I take on everything

To get out from the hole

maybe avoiding thinking about things just so that he’s able to be the kind of man he wants to be rather than the kind the world is wanting to turn him into…but then he has to think abt them to come to terms with them (also no matter what I do,it will not recognize 'audacing' as a word but I googled it and everything so...lmao)

1489 -

Ryn Weaver – New Constellations

[Verse 2]

There's no walls and no ceilings as far as I know

Just the echoes of scars and the unbeaten road

Trip the gun on cautions that I've been sold

'Cause it's hard to believe that it's wrong to want more

Than the truest of blue and a love like a roar

I will run to wherever I want to go, oh

[Chorus 2]

Charting Neptune by the fire of the Sun

I'm looking for new constellations, new constellations

[Verse 3]

So keep callin' me crazy 'cause I never learned

You should stop loving fire because you got burned

Now it feels like I'm living some sick déjà vu

Like the answers were there when I stared into you

"What if there's more? What if there's more?" The more I look into this the more I want to cry about 1489 Hob and all the things he's seen.. I was on the Wiki page for ‘Spherical Earth’ and the years it was giving me... god he sure was just. there for that. the number of things we know to be just. absolute FACT, now that were kinda up in the air for the majority of his 600+ years??? are you kidding me? the maps the books the science the

Dawes – Living In The Future

[Verse 1]

I know all of my exits

I'm always planning my escape

It's the most aggressive symptom

Of this collective phantom pain

And the more that you ignore it

The more it makes you go insane

Just look around

[Chorus]

We're living in the future, so shine a little light

It may not make it any better, I'm just hoping that it might

I'm not talking about forever, how about just getting through the night?

We're living in the future, so shine a little light

ANXIETY… doesn’t wanna be caught being immortal…but also amazed and trying to see the brighter side of things, wanting to learn

Good Tiger – Salt of the Earth (Acoustic)

I tightened my grip

Around my bow

I'll try to save you all

Knuckles turning white

Blood runs cold

There's a boy with no face

I don't feel there's much separation

I'm an animal

Hope leaves when the waves come crashing

I've never been a religious man

But I'm slipping under drowning

In your eyes

I've never been a religious man

But I'm slipping under drowning

In your

More themes of being animalistic.. kinda nightmare-ish huh … this makes me think of maybe him having nightmares trying to help him understand how he really felt about all the killing he’s had to do, while also hungering so so deeply for more. More life, more knowledge, more people, more experiences. An animal wanting ..

1589 –

Hozier – Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene

[Verse 2]

Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, I

Lay my heart down with the rest at her feet

Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile

It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet

[Verse 3]

In leash-less confusion, I'll wander the concrete

Wonder if better now having survived

The jarring of judgement and reason's defeat the sweet

Heat of her breath in my mouth; I'm alive

I’m looking at this song as him falling in love with Eleanor, and I really like whenever they’re depicted as having this kind of.. definitely unconventional type of relationship for the time, and also maybe both being just a smidge unhinged, because Hob certainly is and I could absolutely see him being smitten with Eleanor because she’s maybe, kind of odd or something.. who’s to say..

Fair to Midland – A Seafarer’s Knot

[Verse 1]

Lucky are the leaves of the clover

She's digging for chemistry with the butcher's tools

Shifty are the eyes of the gambler

He's making his tricks his trade, and a job well done

[Pre-Chorus]

Through the motions, waving wishes

To your confidence and eloquence

[Chorus]

He's turning a-green from these envious glorious things

Applied ambitious faith that can keep us all safe

Invoking a blue that's meant for us too

What small amazing things we will turn to rain

Fair to Midland is one of my favorite bands of all time, so I was saving them for something special lol. A lot of the time Darrow’s lyrics don’t make.. a huuge amount of linear sense, but I feel like these are straightforward enough to take enough meaning. This, to me, feels like an examination of what Hob did to get to 1589, and perhaps some of the feelings behind that.

(bonus, made me think of the toast scene…ow)

[Bridge]

Gather 'round, hold your glasses up high

Drink to love while we wait for high tide

Keep it short, keep it brief, you have my word

Gather 'round while we wait for high tide

Everything Everything – Blast Doors

[Chorus]

Down in my beast heart, I build an empire

Whenever I'm blind, I open my wild eye

(repeated)

[Bridge]

I hear the death rattle of a time wasted

Time wasted

You know that I believe in it

You know that I believe in it

But I'm wasted

Back again with ‘animal hunger’ Hob. With this one I was really thinking about how… he really wanted to impress his stranger… only to be barely spoken to and then walked away from with no explanation. Like yes that hurts initially, but I’m thinking about all of the things he had to do to get there, I’m sure he didn’t like a lot of it.. and then to find out he pretty much wasted a lot of his time for an idea that had turned out to be wrong? oof

Ray LaMontagne – Such a Simple Thing

[Verse 2]

Take it if you want it

I'm so tired I just don't care

Can't you see how much you hurt me?

It's like I wasn't there

[Chorus]

Tell me what your heart wants

Such a simple thing

My heart is like paper

Yours is like a flame

I mean… -motions to lyrics- asfjvnfnb. Teehee abandonment issues lolololol

1689 –

40 Watt Sun – Stages

If I was only wise enough

To know everything sure and true about myself

You would not be here

What have I brought you to, my love, that you have followed me?

It is all my heart is worth

And more than I would ask of you

Y’all I’m so sorry that this is a 16 min song aldkfjgadj feel free to like, just look at the lyrics if you don’t have the brain space for the full thing, but I kind of forgot that it was so long until after I was so set on it 💀

Sleeping at Last – Jupiter

[Verse]

Wrote it down in the winter of 1610

Just a secret under lock and key until then

While collecting the stars, I connected the dots

I don't know who I am, but now I know who I'm not

This song always has and always will ruin me,, I just love the line “I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not” honestly just everything about that song… make my messes matter, make this chaos count.. (also had to include because.. 1610 lol)

Gregory Alan Isakov – If I Go, I’m Goin

And I will go if you ask me to

I will stay if you dare

And if I go, I'm goin' shameless

Let my hunger take me there

This house, she's quite the talker

She creaks and moans, she keeps me up

And the photographs know I'm a liar

They just laugh as I burn her down

This song just has very Hob energy, like I feel like he would like it, as well, but also just OOOOOOFFFF this do be hurtin….

The Moody Blues – Melancholy Man

[Chorus]

I'm a melancholy man, that's what I am

All the world surrounds me and my feet are on the ground

I'm a very lonely man, doing what I can

All the world astounds me and I think I understand

That we're going to keep growing, wait and see

Another case of -motions to lyrics- tbh

1789 –

Sleeping at Last – Pluto

[Chorus]

Until one day I had enough

Of this exercise of trust

I leaned in and let it hurt

And let my body feel the dirt

When I break pattern, I break ground

I rebuild when I break down

I wake up more awake than I've ever been before

“I rebuild when I break down” this is put here specifically to signify his,, literal rebuilding of himself after the struggle of the previous century,..

The Deep Dark Woods – The Place I Left Behind

I'm a good ole ramblin' boy

Now that's just what I am

This fair land that you call yours

I do not give a damn

I've got the ramblin' fever down in my bones

And everywhere that I wanna go

The only place that I ever loved

Is a place I left behind

Discontent, I think, with where he’s at currently. Still missing and grieving his family, I imagine he probably spends these years pretty alone, and that could be why he seemingly turns his goddamn brain off -_-

Tunng – Fatally Human

Fatally human

We hover in the world

Fatal someone

We flounder in the dark

Take hold of another

Go mad in a moment

The soil and the wonder

Sway to the terror

There’s not really a lot I can say here, but. Yeah.

1889 –

The Oh Hellos – I Have Made Mistakes

I have made mistakes

I have made mistakes, I continue to make them

And the promises I've made

The promises I've made, I continue to break them

And all the doubts I've faced

All the doubts I've faced, I continue to face them

But nothing is a waste

Nothing is a waste, if you learn from it

This song sounds like how Hob looks when he makes that little jab at himself about making and learning from mistakes… couldn’t get that idea out of my head. Plus this song just really hits.

Greg Puciato – Through the Walls

Winter, I'm out of tune

Heating frozen stars

I'll keep spilling my guts out to you

Wherever you are

Dragging my anchor through you

I want you to know

Me before this night is through

Then you'll never go

Careful to not disappear

Offering dreams to the dawn

Nothing's impossible here

Still we can't go on

I didn’t want to make anything TOO outwardly Dreamling, but like… this song, omg…

Tubeway Army – Are ‘Friends’ Electric?

[Chorus 1]

So now I'm alone

Now I can think for myself

About little deals and S.U's

And things that I just don't understand

Like a white lie at night

Or a sly touch at times

I don't think it meant anything to you

[Verse 3]

So I open the door

It's the 'friend' that I'd left in the hallway

"Please sit down."

A candlelit shadow on a wall near the bed

Made that last comment and then there’s this song WHOOPS sdkfgadfbaasfjghfb

1989 –

Marina – To Be Human

[Chorus]

All the people living in, living in the world today

We're united by our love, we're united by our pain (Ooh)

All the things that I've done and I've seen

Still, I don't know, don't know what it means

All of the little name drops and the meanings and.. it just gave me very much the century flying by so violently but also colorfully and SO much happening..

Orville Peck – Dead of Night

[Verse 3]

Six summers down, another dreamless night

You're not by my side

Scratch on the moon like a familiar smile

Stained on my mind

Some other town, someone else's life

Dead in the night

In the night

Ofc I had to add Orville… this song and it’s placement… I wanted it to feel purposeful, and I hope it does. Character and theme-wise, and also like irl things happening in those decades..

Danny Schmidt – This Too Shall Pass

[Verse 3]

We think too big, we think our self is one whole thing

And we claim that this collection has a name and is a being

But deep inside when every cell divides

Well, it sets upon the rule that states self-interest is divine

[Verse 4]

And cancer too lives by this golden rule:

That you must do unto the others as the others unto you

All for the best, because it's all that life accepts

And so we kill it like a buffalo: with awe and with respect

This song also gives me overall Hob vibes, musically and lyrically, but.. I just think about the kind of friends he made and the things he tried to do in this century. Helping the people he could and loving those he couldn’t help. The knowledge that yes, this too shall pass…

1990’s-ish – Went on a lil’bit of a bender

Alice in Chains – Would?

[Verse 2]

Drifting body, its sole desertion

Flying, not yet quite the notion

[Chorus]

Into the flood again

Same old trip it was back then

So I made a big mistake

Try to see it once my way

I feel like after 1989.. and the overwhelming barrage of a century that was, I feel like he has some, emotions to sort through. N and I talked a lot about grunge phase 90’s Hob and like yes very much influential here, but I think I’d associate him with Alice in Chains, regardless. Stone Temple Pilots too, I think.. there’s more lmao

Def Leppard – Animal

[Verse 1]

A wild ride, over stony ground

Such a lust for life, the circus comes to town

We are the hungry ones, on a lightning raid

Just like a river runs, like a fire needs flame

Oh, I burn for you

[Chorus]

I got to feel it in my blood, whoa, oh

I need your touch don't need your love, whoa, oh

And I want, and I need, and I lust, animal

And I want, and I need, and I lust, animal

This man fucks. Obvi

2022 –

The National – I Am Easy To Find

[Verse 1]

How long have we been here?

Am I ever coming down?

I need to find some lower thinking, if I'm going to stick around

I'm not going anywhere

Who do I think I'm kidding?

I'm still standing in the same place where you left me standing

[Chorus]

I am easy to find

The National will always be my favorite sad Dad band, I cherish them. I feel like Hob would also like them, but this song of course had to be added because. “I am easy to find.” …. ach

The Narcissist Cookbook – Joy! Joy! JoooOOY!

[Verse 2]

Tonight let's turn the shower on

Full blast and hot

Lie down in the bath like it's a casket or a cot

We'll try to sleep

But we won't sleep

I thought writing it down might make me wanna stop

But I want more and more

And more of this

Til there's no room in me

There’s not a lot I can say about this one either, just.

Broken Bells – Perfect World

[Verse 1]

Oh, London moon, help me stumble home

Let me lose myself along the way

I've got nothing left, it's kind of wonderful

'Cause there's nothing they can take away... away

[Bridge]

But it's another way to win a useless fight

You've been lying so long don't know when you're faking

See the water on the rise

Just another day into a useless night

I've been pushing so hard now my hands are shaking

See the water on the rise

This song is beautiful. I think I had a religious experience when I heard it for the first time a few years ago,,, it’s also just very much a Hob song to me. Not overly optimistic, but still down for life.. the struggles…

Avi Kaplan – Song For The Thankful

[Verse 3]

Goodbye evening, hello to the night

I'm not seein' the wrong from the right

Walkin' blindly on a path without an end

Then the morning comes and leads me out again

I thought this would be the perfect song to end on.. I hope I’m right.

[currentlyfckingurmom]

Her Song part 27

Two days later, we get the news that we can finally go home. We'll have to bring Syd back in for checkups and chemo treatments, but other than that, the doctors say she should be alright at home.

To be perfectly honest, I'm so damn excited to go home. I have not left the hospital once since Syd was admitted. Florence went to the apartment to get us clothes and stuff, and David and Ash have been running the shop.

"C'mon, my demon spawn, we're almost ready," I say. Florence had something work-related, but agreed to meet us at the apartment later.

I help Syd change out of her hospital gown and into some sweatpants. The bandages have been removed but she didn't like the bright pink scar on her head, so she's been wearing a beanie. Since all the necessary discharge forms have already been signed, I sling our duffel bag over my shoulder and pick Syd up, resting her on my hip to carry her out of the hospital.

I buckle her into her car seat, making a funny face to provoke a laugh. She's awfully quiet as we ride through the city, so I suggest, "You know, some ice cream sounds pretty good right now..."

She gasps, and I look in the rearview mirror to see her eyes as wide as saucers. "Please! Can we please get ice cream, Momma, please?!"

"Hmm, I don't know," I pretend to debate it.

"Please, I swear I'll be good forever and ever," she begs.

"Forever and ever, huh? Sounds like a deal to me. We'll get whatever kind of ice cream you want."

She cheers and I change course to her favorite ice cream shop, playing her favorite song, "You'd Be Paranoid Too" by Waterparks. I pretend not to notice when she sings the swear words. As long as she isn't swearing at someone, I don't really care. Although if that someone deserves it, I'm perfectly alright with her calling them a fuckwad.

We get there and order two soft serve cones—strawberry for me and cotton candy for the little satanist. Sitting at a picnic table, she swings her legs and bounces around as she focuses intently on the frozen desert in front of her. Definitely a step up from that shit they call hospital food.

She's much more hyper on the ride home, likely due to the sugar electrifying her system and rotting her teeth. When we get to the apartment, she runs into her bedroom to check on each of her stuffed animals as I unpack our stuff and clean up a bit. After that it's bath time, and then we sit down on the couch to watch a movie.

She tries to hide it, but I can tell she still gets really tired. We've been fortunate so far because she hasn't gotten extremely sick from the chemo, but she still isn't in top condition. After a few hours, there comes a knock on the door and a smile breaks out on my face because I know exactly who it is.

I get up and open the door, leaning against it and watching the woman in the hallway in awe. "Hey," I whisper with a smile.

"Hi," she giggles. She looks over my shoulder to see if Syd is looking. I guess she isn't, because Florence leans in and presses a brief, yet passionate kiss to my lips, then walks into the apartment, leaving me flustered.

"Asshole," I mutter as I walk past her in the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Why such vulgarity, hm?"

"If you think that's vulgar, you're in for quite the surprise," I whisper in her ear. This time, it's me who leaves her flustered. This is the way things have gone for the past few weeks. When things with Syd's condition don't feel so hopeless, we always end up sneaking more kisses and whispering dirty secrets.

I'm not gonna fucking lie, I really need to get laid. The sexual tension is killing me.

"People treat me like I'm an asshole, but I don't text when I drive though! I can't say that they're all wrong, no, cause I still use straws on the down low!" Syd screams the lyrics, running around the living room and eventually throwing herself at Flo's legs in a giant bear hug.

"What in heaven's name are you singing?" Flo asks with a laugh, picking Syd up off the ground.

"It's my favorite song. Mom, tell her. Tell her all about it."

I raise my eyebrows at her sudden burst of energy. "You did this," I mutter to Florence, patting her shoulder as I walk over to the table to fold laundry.

"I'm going to have a tea party with Mr. Teddy Bundy," Syd says. I hear her footsteps disappear in her room, and then a pair of arms wrapping around my waist from behind.

"I missed you," Florence mumbles, pressing a slow kiss to my neck.

"It's been one day."

"That's too long." Her kisses on my neck pick up intensity as one of her hands creeps up my shirt towards my chest.

"Hey, knock it off. I've got mom shit to do," I instruct, half wishing that I could just drop everything and fuck her on the table.

"Fine, then let me help." She moves to the side of me and starts helping fold the clothes.

"Flo, you don't have to. You've done enough, trust me," I bump her shoulder with a smile. I struggle to express how I feel sometimes, so I've been trying my hardest to show her how much I appreciate her. I could think of a few ways to do that, but we've been otherwise occupied.

She just hums, not replying. After a few minutes, I hear a low groan rumble from her throat and I side eye her with a raised brow. My jaw drops as she turns to face me, holding one of my lace thongs and biting her lip. "Now, Miss Y/L/N, what do I have to do to see you in these? Because name it and, I swear to God..." she trails off, smirking.

"Oh shut up," I blush.

"Make me," she quips back instantly.

I push her back against the table, bringing one hand up to her throat as the other skims down her front, pausing at the apex of her thighs. I cup the area, smirking as her eyes squeeze shut.

"Fuck," she whispers as I apply more pressure, moving my hand back and forth across the seam of her jeans.

"Look at me, Florence," I husk. She does, and I move my hand to pop open the button of her jeans. I capture her lips in a searing kiss, overflowing with desperate need as my hand slips into her underwear. "So wet," I mumble against her lips.

"Florence! Come have a tea party with me!" Syd yells from her bedroom. I practically jump away from Florence at Syd's voice, my heart beating erotically.

We hold eye contact for a few seconds before she starts walking to the bedroom. I watch as she walks away, not-so-subtly checking her out. She turns around just before she walks into the bedroom, and I raise my hand to my mouth, sucking the remnants of her off my fingers, never breaking eye contact.

Even from across the room, I can see her pupils dilate.

Yeah, I really fucking need to get laid.

[pixelkip]

Hey u wanna see how hard I can ramble about homestuck classpects AND hazy river character analysis at the same time?? Too bad!! You will!!

SO holy fuck I've been trying to come up with homestuck classpects for Annie and garcello for the LONGEST time and Annie has ALWAYS been a problem area for me cause of her lack of real story and canon characterization

Garcello imo is a rogue of doom, the rogue class steals their aspect for the betterment of others and well.... "stealing doom" in a way for someone else's benefit is literally exactly what he does in seos!! And the description of a doom player's personality really does fit him!! Easy right?

But then Annie. Oh my fucking gog

She has almost 0 canon dialogue and little to no story. The only instances of her even talking were the butter comic and snowed in. We might have some backstory shit that's been shared around before and Drowning of course but other than that she doesn't have much of a real storyline.

I've discussed this on discord and a lot of ideas were thrown around like maybe void, for her aspect, which does fit in a meta sense considering all beyond-surface-level characterization for her is pretty hard to find or completely unknown, and I've thought about either time or hope or rage being her aspect based on personality descriptions and her weaponizing rage in her liquid form but none seemed to really fit perfectly for her, especially when trying to pick a class.

(Before you bring up seos with lyrics as much as I ADORE how Annie is acted in it holy fuck dude it still gives me chills it is not canon)

Then it fucking hit me. Hope is literally perfect in a meta sense (and I'm operating on homestuck logic so I'm allowed to do that hehehhehe)

How we perceive Annie as a character is based a ton on fanon. Ideas like her having self esteem issues, for example, were extrapolated by fandom because of Good Enough being her first song. The butter comic, the first of only 2 times she's spoken in any official capacity, came from THE FANDOM MAKING SHIT UP and then anne making a comic based on it. Other bits of characterization from discord were gleaned from THE FANDOM ACTIVELY WANTING IT.

The hope aspect in homestuck is strongly connected with believing in something so hard it becomes real. This is seen with Jake's creation of brain ghost dirk, and eridan making a plain ass wand and then believing it's some powerful God weapon, and then it actually being powerful

Do. Do you see what I'm getting at here. Her whole character is heavily based in what we think it is based on what little we have. If that doesn't make her being a hope player fucking perfect i don't know what does.

As for class tho I'm a little bit stumped. I'm feeling like maybe witch since the 2 most prominent witches in homestuck do remind me a lot of her, personality-wise. They're also characters who have a particularly strong connection with the magic and power their classpect gives them. Jade's been experiencing the weird magicy shit that relates to her role within sburb and homestuck's narrative her whole life. Feferi's biggest move as the witch of life is very personal to her, talking to the horrorterrors to create the dream bubbles was only possible cause of her existing connection to a similar creature, being her lusus.

And annies liquid, while already being just a badass magical tool by itself, feels an awful lot like an extension of her energetic, over-the-top personality. Just more violent. The fact it canonically makes her more animalistic and instinctual just carries on her existing animal theming.

Also hope has a lotta religious theming and Annie has been connected with imagery of devil horns a LOT. Just thought that was neat.

Annieway tldr after over a year of thinking about this and having an epiphany watching a laureledeevees video about Jake English and lots of wiki and extended zodiac reading.. Garcello is a rogue of doom and Annie is a witch of hope

Disclaimer I am not the best at classpecting ik to people ho do this a lot I probably interpreted some stuff weirdly please don't murder me sjgjkdjgkdjf

[aesop-and-fiends]

I can imagine you relate to Greek God. Not a clue why, because literally none of the lyrics apply to any of what happened between the three, technically four, of us. But I can imagine you relate to it anyway. I can imagine it makes you feel powerful and in the right about what happened. Which fucking sickens me, but hey, whatever you have to do to get through the day man.

And yes, I do still check up, because believe it or not, I’m tired of letting you think I’m going to let you walk all over me with all this bullshit about me being a horrible person (I have the screenshots, from before and after) and get to pretend to everyone as though you’re in the right. If you want to pretend I’m a villain, then I’ll play a goddamn villain for you. Not that occasionally checking your tumblr exactly constitutes as villainy to me.

I made a new account because I don’t like the idea that you can see me and I can’t see you. And because I find it funny that when you couldn’t disprove my points about me actually being a good person, and you realised I wasn’t going to let you vent at me and call me horrible things, and that I wasn’t going to let you dance over me and be absurdly immature, you blocked me. That’s what I find really amusing about all of this. I did the adult thing (even though what I said to you in the messages that were apparently so traumatising (I have screenshots) were literally just me calling you out on your blatantly awful behaviour), and you behaved like a child.

So yeah, I’ll watch, and I don’t really care if that is something you disagree with, because the second I was uncomfortable, you gaslit me so badly that I believed I was a horrible person who deserved to die. I realise now that in fact I am not a horrible person, and you are just really fucking immature.

I really hope you grow up soon. And I’m tired of giving you lea-way, even the figment of you in my fucking head.

I’m glad I’m not your friend, because you are now a fucking horrible person. You never used to be, but you fucking well are now. I grew out of my childish state of being a little bit mean and self centred. I was a fucking CHILD. You apparently never grew out of it. You grew into it.

Maybe it’s wrong that this has made me so angry. Maybe it’s because I know you relate to every single fucking lyric, when actually two out of three of us have moved on. It’s just you and me now.

I don’t want to hurt you. But that doesn’t mean I like you or want good things for you. I want a fucking apology. I can’t wait until you eventually find this account.

I never loved you. You did know the difference between platonic and romantic, I don’t fall for that bullshit. Your mistake wasn’t doing that. Your mistake was behaving like a child and not trying to amend your mistake after it happened. I couldn’t give a shit about the caravan.

You run away from every mildly difficult situation you find yourself in.

I can’t imagine God finds that to be an admirable quality.

I’m an adult. I grew up. I recognise my mistakes.

You are a child. You will never grow up. And you will never, ever recognise your mistakes.

Talk to your counsellor about that one, if you even have one, you immature con.

[full-moon-hate-account]

marauders era characters and their favourite taylor swift album (also what album you should listen to based on your fav!!) — a character analysis (of sorts):

james: fearless (tv)

i mean, fearless meets hey stephen meets you belong with me meets the best day meets that’s when is literally, genuinely, HIM. he’d like the slight country-ness of it all, due to how it’s only given in small portions but is still there. the theme of falling head over heels in love but it not working out would go so well with him and his character </3 he’d listen to it like almost every day.

sirius: lover

if he was asked this, he’d die, and probably go for reputation. a safe option. but he doesn’t know himself like i do. he’d be screaaaaaaming the lyrics to ‘i think he knows’ whenever he could, he’d cry to lover, relate to the archer, daylight, and afterglow on a spiritual level, and never get sick of cruel summer. like. ever. that’s just how it is!!! lover was the first album he listened to after lily introduced it to him and it’s therefore very special to him

remus: evermore

i know like literally everyone would say folklore because of cardigan and peace and hoax etc etc but?? to me evermore feels more like him. none of the songs necessarily describe him, but marjorie and ivy and cowboy like me and ‘tis the damn season feel so like him. also, this might be because i cannot help but see wolfstar as a very very loving couple and gold rush and long story short and willow are like invisible string’s sisters. evermore is folklore’s younger sister as well, and sort of shifts between being more and less emotionally intelligent than folklore so it just fits him to me.

peter: speak now

there’s very little he knows better than revenge. but also, he feels like such a romantic to me. i know he’s so often headcanoned as aro and/or ace, but i’ve never found myself agreeing, as you can now tell. i feel like he would not handle change well at all and songs like never grow up and even (in my opinion) back to december portray that. plus he’d just love the genres😭

lily: 1989

where do i even BEGIN. clean is a huge reason for it, since she’s had to let go of so many shitty people in her life, but she also seems like such a dreamer and wished to move to a huge city when she grew up, and therefore fell in love with welcome to new york very easily. she loves a messy but true love kinda trope (literally all the songs on there), with hints of purity here and there (you are in love), but she also loves people being able to get proper mad and a lil unhinged about things (blank space, bad blood). besides. she’s very pop. in the best way. plus, she’s the hugest swiftie of them, of course she chooses 1989.

marlene: folklore

she knows how to feel pain, she knows it well. but she does it with so much hope. like, yeah, maybe today was exhausting and the past week really sucked and life feels awful. but that’s not where it ends…? it can’t be. and she feels very reflective. and very romantic. and SO passionate, about both things and people she loves, as well as herself and her own potential. i guess that’s a bit of a controversial marlene characterisation but, no, i don’t want to give her that mean and tough lesbian trope.

dorcas: reputation

very protective of things and people, but in a truly romantic way. she knows how to stand up for herself, maybe not as intensely as the narrator of rep, but the passion is there for sure. and she’s SO romantic, her fav off the album is probably call it what you want. dress is very dorlene, dancing with our hands tied is very dorlene, call it what you want is very dorlene, and in my opinion marlene fell first but dorcas fell harder and that fits the whole purpose and message of reputation very well to me.

mary: red (tv)

just being in the middle of a transition from country into pop is very mary, i can’t explain it but it’s just her. her loving red is very complimentary to lily loving 1989 as well. she’s probably sobbed to every single song on the album for different reasons in different occasions, and i think by as early as the first minute of state of grace she was just…. completely sold. this connection isn’t one i can really analyse or explain or justify, it just makes tons of sense to me, how it’d be her complete fave from day one. begin again, treacherous, the lucky one, holy ground, babe…. ah. it’s perfect for her.

[allamericansbitch]

one is harmless fun and the other is literally insane and crosses every boundary. // I’m an ex kaylor and I agree. For a long time this fandom had no gray area and if you said ‘that’s a bit fruity’ or even did a queer interpretation of her lyrics (without saying she wrote it that way, but just like this is how it resonated with me and my experience being queer) other fans would call you disgusting and send so much anon hate or reblog calling you a freak... so it was easy to go from ‘hey as a wlw I relate to this song in this way, I wonder if taylor felt the same as I did because this really captures a queer experience? :)’ and then you get so much hate and abuse, then hardcore Gaylors who are making powerpoints and collecting “proof” welcome you into their side of the fandom, that it felt like that side was only safe side of the fandom for me... honestly even when things from gaylors felt invasive or intense and made me uncomfortable, I still never felt as uncomfortable as I did around the people who sent all that abuse and would turn into balls of rage at the slightest thought of taylor being anything other than straight 😬 but then you realise most of the people running the gaylor side are straight and say homophobic shit about gay men all the time 😬 I feel sorry for all the new and young fans who feel like I used to ‘maybe taylor felt this about a woman?’ And discover the hardcore K- and Gaylor truthers instead of the part of the fandom that just welcomes lyrical interpretations, because working out my sexuality by being guided by Truthers was not the way I wish I did it

i'm so sorry you had to deal with that from people. that sounds awful. i hope things got better and i'm glad you came so far and realize both are pretty unhealthy.

i think interpreting her lyrics to your own individual experience is perfectly normal and valid, there should be no issue with that because that's how songs are supposed to be, a part of you and you're life. not about the artist. it's a big jump for that to the hardcore stuff for sure.

[misanthropiccacophony]

hey um. why do you feel embodied by euthanasia? i’m pretty sure it’s one of wills most straightforward, literal songs so like. it’s just about dead pets. no hate at all btw i’m just curious about your interpretation.

you're all good mate! actually, thanks for asking!! ^^

this is gonna be a long post that's pretty personal, so I'm gonna put my explanation under the cut.

this will include an overall connection, and analysis of lyrics and their relation to me

i know it's just about dead pets, which is partially why i feel so embodied by it. the lyrics themselves are a majority of my connection, but the delivery of the live version is also a big thing for me.

there's a rawness in the live version that really just,,, hits me. the ability to perform such a sad and personal song feels like both a cover up of emotions and a confession of them at the same time. i'm pretty easily overwhelmed by my emotions and shit, but i tend to keep them to myself cause i feel like a burden and leech on others when i try to share them.

because the performance is live. you can hear every string squeak clearly, too. i generally love this sound in music, but when paired with the song? it reminds me of choked sobs, like when you're full on sobbing and breaking down. it evokes that feeling of pure grief like what you'd get at the loss of a loved one. it feels so familiar for me.

sometimes i feel like a dead pet. i feel like a foggy memory that's being forgotten more and more, fading out as the person forgets my memory. i feel like a ghost. people see me, people see things about me that are glaring and obvious. but they still stare through me. sometimes that's all they do. maybe i'm a beloved memory to some, maybe i'm just a faint memory with too little substance to hold any emotional feelings, maybe i'm a raw topic that still causes the heart to bleed and ache, maybe i'm drying tears and the reason someone lashes out in pain and hates being alone because of the void i've left maybe not. that's ok either way. the live version of Euthanasia by Will Wood really resonates with me, and i feel like it and all of the feelings it invokes in me <at the very least> embodies me.

now, for song meaning. for clarification- the song is about euthanasia <obviously>, more specifically when Will had to euthanize one of his pet rats, Bert. that's the literal meaning of the song.

i've had to have pets put down before, and had others just pass in general. so in the literal way, i know the feeling; i've lived it

in general though, there's something about having to put a pet down to end their suffering peacefully that resonates with me. to put it bluntly– i both wish someone could do that to me, and i also know the guilt of having to do something that feels do horrid and awful to a loved one so fucking intimately.

both the owner—grieving and guilty over their actions—and the pet—terrified and suffering—are things that i've lived with for way too much of my life. i've spent countless hours drowning in those feelings and trying my damn best to escape and recover.

moving onto lyrics, i'm not gonna go over every single one, but i'm gonna cover a good few of them. i'm gonna put the lyrics in color so they're a bit easier to identify <and cause i feel like it> "I was right there, while you fought tooth and nail Gasping in the gas mask, thrashing 'til you disappeared"

this could go one of two ways. 1) i've had pets go, and i've had to do shit i thought was for the best but still really hurt. sometimes it feels/felt like i was watching hopelessly as it happened. 2) i feel like both of these at once. putting myself down, euthanizing myself, believing with all of my existence that it's for the best. i'm also fighting for my life, desperate and clinging to anything i can because i don't actually want to die, despite believing i do. "Say you're not scared That you know it's because I cared and Say you know I love you, and that hope was just not there"

i've hurt <and scarred> people i love because i thought it was for the best, because i loved them, because i honestly believed that there wasn't any hope. and often i wish to hear that they know it was an act of love, and they also felt that hopelessness so i can pretend i'm justified. "And I know, I know that I'm wrong That when you're gone, you're gone And I can't bring you home"

i know this denial so deeply. i also know the painful truth that i'm wrong in that denial. i've lost some people, through death or just losing contact or whatever. some days, though, i sink into that denial thinking i can see them again, that they'll come home. they won't, and i know it. "But I want, I want to believe That you'll remember me When you're just memory"

i like to think that people i've loved deeply in any way will still remember me when they're just a memory to me. that i've made enough of a difference that they'll remember me <fondly, i hope> when they're just another memory for me. "And sorry, I would take it back if I could, but I know" there's so much i wish i could take back. there's so much, even if it was for the best at that time, that i would undo if i could. the regret of that is something i might just die with. "But I want, I want to believe That you can still hear me When you're just memory"

to people i've lost in any way, i hope you can hear me apologize for not being there more and not doing more for you. i want to believe that those i've lost can still hear me say how much they meant to me.

" Said, "It's okay" "And it'll all be over soon" "I'd never let a bad thing happen to you" "Now, goodnight, I love you!" " i like to think that the harm i've caused isn't actually that bad. that it's for the best. it's not bad, it's actually good, because it was the best choice i had. i like to think that... for those i've left behind... that i could've said this to them or communicated it to them in any way "And every, everybody dies Fighting for their lives Just trying to survive" i don't wanna go too much into this. but. i relate to this line on such a deep level it almost physically hurts. sometimes i could swear to you that i'm failing to survive. some days i expect to die from how desperately i'm fighting for my life. "And I know, I know it's not true There's just no more you But as long as there's no proof Then I choose, I choose to believe That we'll meet in sweet dreams After you're put to sleep" i like to think that all of the people i've loved and lost still exist somehow. they're still there somewhere. whether they died or we lost contact in any way. they're still out there, and maybe i'll see them again. maybe i'll get to meet them in a sweet, comforting dream. because there's no way it will happen in reality. maybe, when we're both gone, we can meet again and catch up. maybe when we meet up, it'll all be okay. sometimes i wanna be put to sleep to see if that's the case. sometimes i wanna go to sleep to see if that's the case. either way, i'm always longing for the people that aren't in my life anymore. the ones i loved, anyway. i just think it'd be nice to see them again. wouldn't it be lovely to see their wonderful faces again? wouldn't it be beautiful to be in their glorious company again?

i think it would be.

[endcryst4l]

fairy tale

the sequel to favorite galaxies! the song that is referenced later on and is the title is fairy tale by homemade haircuts :] (read the third part here)

After multiple pleads of Tommy, Wilbur and even Phil, Techno finally built up enough courage to ask you to come over again.

“I did it, (Y/N)’s coming over for dinner tonight.” Techno told his family when he came downstairs from his room. Phil and Wilbur cheered, Tommy began jumping up and down. Techno chuckled, “they said they were going to bring dessert as well, but needed to know whether you guys preferred vanilla or chocolate cake.” 

“Aw they don't need to do that.” Phil said before Techno cut him off, “That’s what I said as well but I wasn’t able to change their mind.”

“Chocolate?” Wilbur suggested and they all nodded, Techno off to his room again to talk with you. 

“Hey (Y/N)?” he said as he unmuted himself in the discord call. “Shit!” you yelped, “Sorry, you scared me.” Techno laughed, “Sorry, sorry. They said chocolate. They’re all really excited to see you again, especially Tommy.” “I’m really excited to see them too. How have they been doing?” you asked. Techno smiled, “good! Wilbur hasn’t stopped asking to meet you and neither has Tommy. He’s literally been asking about you multiple times a day.” You aww’ed and Techno smiled, excited to see you again. “That’s so sweet. I’m really excited to meet Wilbur and see Tommy again, he’ll love the dessert I’m bringing.” 

“What are you making?” Techno asked. “Ahhh that my dear is a secret. Now I must go to work on it.” you said and Techno huffed, making you laugh. “Hey I’ll be there tonight, okay? Don’t get too sad, bye Tech!” “I’ll try, bye (Y/N).” 

You smiled to yourself as you stood up to make chocolate cupcakes with galaxy frosting. 

After finishing piping the cupcakes, you smiled. They looked pretty good, you couldn’t wait to see Tommy’s reaction to them.

~

Your hand reached to knock on the door when it suddenly opened to reveal Techno with Tommy in his arms. “(Y/N)!” the toddler yelled excitedly as he reached for you. “Tommy!” you exclaimed, hugging him and shooting Techno a smile. “How have you been, big guy?” you asked Tommy. “Good! I made more drawings today.” he told you. “All of which are galaxies by the way.” Techno added, gesturing for you to come inside. “Oh really? Show me!” you said to Tommy and he nodded, climbing out of your arms when you reached the living room. 

“Hey (Y/N)! It’s good to see you again.” Phil said when he saw you. “Thanks for letting me come over again.” you smiled and you turned to Wilbur, “nice to meet you, I’m (Y/N).” Wilbur smiled, “Oh trust me, I know. Neither of my brothers have shut up about you. Nice to meet you too, I’m Wilbur.”

You laughed and turned to look at Techno, whose face was now a deep red. “Wilbur I’m going to ki-” he began before Tommy interrupted him. “Look!” he said and he held up one of his drawings. You quickly shot Techno a wink before complimenting Tommy on his drawings, also telling him some new facts you came across online.

Techno’s eyes widened, his face an even deeper shade of red. He stood there frozen for a split second before he heard a small snicker of Wilbur. That asshole. Phil smacked his oldest son, making Techno snort. Deserved.

“So what did you make for dessert (Y/N)?” Phil asked. “That’s a surprise. Speaking of, is there anywhere I can put it?” you answered and he nodded, getting up to lead you to the kitchen. “You really can’t show me?” He tried again and you chuckled, “okay then, but don’t tell them anything.” 

He zipped his mouth shut and you grabbed the container from your bag, opening the lid to reveal the cupcakes. “Holy shit (Y/N) these look great! Oh my god Tommy will love these.” he said. “Aw thank you, I really hope so.” you said as he got out some ingredients so the container would fit. “Is there any way I can help with dinner?” You offered but he firmly denied again, calling out for Wilbur.

“Yes father?” he said when entering the kitchen. “You’re helping me with dinner.” Phil answered and Wilbur saluted him. You wondered how the three brothers could be this different. “So (Y/N), what did you make for dessert?” Wilbur asked, making you laugh. Different yet all the same. “All of your curiosity is making it very hard but I’m not telling you.” 

Wilbur pouted at you and you shook your head no, you weren’t going to slip up now. 

You felt someone tap against your leg and you looked down to see Tommy. “Hey Tommy, what’s up?” you asked as you crouched to face him. He leaned in to whisper, “Techno told me to come save you.” You giggled and followed Tommy back to Techno, who was sitting on the couch. He smiled when he saw you walking to him, he missed you already. “What’s up?” you asked, sitting next to him. Tommy quickly crawled in your lap, melting the boy in front of you. 

“I- uhm I listened to the playlist you sent me and I really liked it.” he told you and your eyes lit up, “really? What song was your favorite?” “I think it was called Fairy Tale? The band name was something with haircuts in it I believe.” 

You felt your stomach explode with butterflies at the realization he was talking about the love song that reminded you of him. Thoughts were now flooding your mind, about if he thought of you when listening to the song, did he even realize what the lyrics were, did he just liked the song with no further intention, does he like y- “(Y/N?)” Techno suddenly said, snapping you back to the conversation. “Hmm? Oh- Fairy Tale! That’s a good song, one of my favorites as well actually.” you answered blushing. Techno grinned and took a glance at Tommy, seeing him nearly asleep. His hand reached to poke the younger awake but you swatted his hand away. Techno raised his eyebrow at you, to which you smiled and calmly told Tommy to stay awake for a little bit longer. In response Tommy huffed and cuddled closer, which was a bad idea on his part. Techno began tickling him, earning loud laughter and screams from Tommy. 

Phil and Wilbur looked at each other at the same time, then quickly poking their heads out of the kitchen to see what was causing the disturbance. Wilbur sighed in relief at the sight of the three of you laughing, going back to the kitchen just as quick leaving Phil who stayed put a little longer. He couldn't stop the massive smile from spreading to his face and the warm feeling rising. Wilbur called out for Phil who, with one last glance, returned to the kitchen

Once Tommy calmed down from his hysteria Techno put on some Avatar, also slowly scooting closer to you. Upon noticing you smiled softly and put your arm lightly around his shoulders. Techno’s face heated up, not really used to this closeness. He could say he didn’t like it but he wasn’t really the one for lying. 

After one episode Wilbur started setting the table, quickly eyeing the three of you, a mixture of shock and pride on his face. He didn’t know how his brother managed it, but he was impressed. “Dinner’s nearly ready.” he told them, getting nods in response. Tommy had fallen asleep after all, so you attempted to wake him up. Attempted being the key word, he was still half asleep when you took a seat at the dinner table. “Tommy, you know you can’t have dessert without eating dinner right?” Phil told him and Tommy quickly woke up, climbing off your lap to his own chair. The two other brothers and you were laughing but Phil quickly shushed all of you and told you what was for dinner, “Roast veggies, roast potatoes and steak!”

He gave everyone their portions, everyone also immediately digging in. You complimented him, it was really good. Phil thanked you, soon the room filled with conversation and laughs. 

~

“Dessert time!!” Tommy exclaimed excitedly as everyone finished up their dinner and cleared off the table. You chuckled and walked to the kitchen with Phil. While he was boiling the water and grabbing the cups and plates, you took the container from the fridge and started placing them on little plates.

“Surprise!” Phil said as you two walked out of the kitchen, both holding a tray. All of the boys went quiet, excited and curious. You put your tray down, earning wow’s from Techno, Wilbur and Tommy. “Tech! Look, they’re like galaxies!” Tommy said and Techno laughed, “yeah they are. They look great (Y/N).” You smiled, really happy that Tommy recognized them. “You‘ve done a great job, these look incredible.” Wilbur said and you thanked him while handing out the plates with the cupcakes. Phil filled up the tea cups and soon new conversation was flowing. Wilbur asked a few questions, curious about the person his brother was in love with. You answered all of them happily, Techno butting in when the questions were school related. 

It didn't take long before more embarrassing childhood stories were told, all of you laughing, Techno tallying the times Wilbur embarrassed him in his head for later payback. Tommy was telling you about how he told his best friend Tubbo about galaxies as well and that he loved them too. You tried not to physically melt and told him to invite him over so you could draw together. Tommy got so excited he jumped off his chair and started running around the house, the remaining at the table laughing again. You took a glance at the clock, caught off guard by the way time had flown by. 

“I hate to be that person but I’m afraid I have to get going.” you said, getting understanding nods from everyone. Tommy abruptly stopped and dramatically huffed. He dragged himself back to his chair and sat down with a big pout. “Hey don’t worry bud, I’m sure (Y/N) will be back soon.” Phil said to him, making him look at you hopefully. “Yeah I will! Don’t worry about it too much, okay big man?” you smiled and he nodded, getting up and giving you a hug. Phil glanced at Techno, watching his expression change to pure and absolute adoration. It made Phil happy, even if he never knew what it truly felt like. The happy sparkles that Techno’s eyes held whenever you were there were enough. 

Wilbur and Techno cleaned up the table, you had offered to help but your attempts were quickly shut down. You glared at the pair when they walked away, making Phil laugh. Your gaze shifted to Phil, now also glaring at him. He only laughed harder, making Tommy giggle as well. You tried your hardest not to break but when Tommy began laughing as well you broke and laughed along with them.

“Are you going to ask them out?” Wilbur asked Techno, catching the latter off guard. “What? Ask them out? Like to be my partner?” Techno replied and Wilbur nodded. “I-I don’t know. That’s a big step. What if they don't like me and I ruin our friendship? What if they don't want to be friends anymore because they’ll think it’s- I’m weird? What if-” Techno rambled before Wilbur cut him off. “Dude. Do you need new glasses? You two look at each other like you are each other’s world and were literally cuddling on the couch earlier. You said they made a playlist for you right?”, Techno nodded, “well there you have your answer. Trust me, they feel the same.” He was still processing what Wilbur said when he heard your laugh and automatically smiled. Wilbur noticed and chuckled, “you’re so whipped for them, I can’t believe it. What happened with the ‘I’m independent I don’t need anyone ever’ Techno?”

Techno quickly smacked the back of Wilbur’s head before he could get more words out, making Wilbur laugh. Techno rolled his eyes, put away the dishes and walked back to the kitchen table. You smiled at him, getting up to grab your bag and jacket. Meanwhile Wilbur also came back from the kitchen, with your container in hand. “Oh thank you, I completely forgot about that,” you chuckled, “also thanks for letting me stay over again.” “No problem (Y/N), truly. Thank you for the cupcakes, they were really good.” Phil said, “and really pretty!” Tommy added and you giggled, thanking them and saying your goodbyes. 

Techno walked with you to the door, thinking about what Wilbur had said in the kitchen. “Thank you for inviting me, it was a lot of fun.” you told him, interrupting his train of thoughts. “Of course, you’re welcome here any time. I think Tommy likes you more than he likes his own brothers.” he said and you laughed, “impossible. I’m sure he would love watching Avatar with you as well.” He shrugged, “I do prefer watching it with you though.” 

Your cheeks flushed red and a smile crept up on your face. “Well, let’s watch more together soon then.” you said to which he quickly agreed to. He couldn’t wait to have your arm around him again. His cheeks heated up and he quickly looked down.

“I really do have to go though, my parents will kill me if I come home too late.” you said and he nodded, eyes still on the ground. You leaned in to kiss his cheek, just as he looked up to say goodbye. Noticing it on time, you quickly stopped, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. It didn’t help much, both of your faces now inches apart. His face held the same reaction, his heart racing. He thought back to what Phil and Wilbur had said and decided, fuck it, as he leaned in to close the gap and kiss you. You stiffened for a second, you’d silently hope this would happen but were still surprised. Techno noticed and quickly pulled back, apologizing profusely. You tried to tell him it was more than okay, you were just caught off guard but he kept cutting you off with apologies. You shook your head, leaning in again and kissing him. He finally shut up and kissed back, his hands now on your waist and yours on his cheeks. 

Techno pulled back again, looking into your eyes. You raised your eyebrow, wondering why he all of sudden stopped. “I- uhm, well,” he stuttered, your hands dropped to his cheek and he sighed, it was now or never. “Do you- Would you want to be my partner?” he asked quietly. Your eyes widened, shock taking over your expression. Was this real? The boy you’ve been loving since you could remember felt the same? You were brought back to reality by his hands leaving your waist and his mouth opening to apologize. “Yes. Yes I’d love to.” you quickly said, making the biggest smile ever cross Techno’s face. “Really?” he asked and you nodded while laughing, feeling all giddy and happy. He engulfed you in his arms, giving you the biggest hug ever. The two of you stayed like that for a few moments, before Techno let you go making you frown. He chuckled, “I know dear, but I don’t want your parents to kill either of us.” “Yeah I guess you’re right. I’ll text you when I get home.” you said before giving him a quick kiss and turning around to walk away. “Bye (Y/N), be careful!” Techno said while waving. “I will!” you told him and waved back with a smile. Holy shit. 

Techno closed the door and leaned against it. Did that really just happen? His heart and stomach were doing backflips. He smiled to himself, you were his partner now.

His smile hadn’t toned down when he walked back to the rest of his family, who were impatiently waiting on him. “And?” “So?” Phil and Wilbur said at the same time, making Techno laugh. “We- I- We’re together now.” he told them, earning the loudest cheers he’s ever heard. “Congratulations man! I’m proud of you.” Phil told him and Techno thanked him, sitting down on the couch with them. “Did you ask them?” Wilbur asked and Techno nodded. “Dude! Congrats. What happened?” He asked and Techno told them everything that happened. 

Tommy, who was supposed to be asleep in his bed, came downstairs after hearing the cheering. “What’s going on?” he asked sleepily and Techno chuckled, “(Y/N) and I are dating.” he answered and the blonde nodded, “does that mean they’ll come over more?” he asked. “I think so, yeah.” Techno told him and Tommy nodded again, walking over to his family and sitting next to Techno. “C’mon, let’s go upstairs. You need to sleep and I need to check if (Y/N) is home safely.” Techo said to Tommy after picking him up and saying to goodnight to his dad and older brother. “Can I say goodnight to them?” Tommy asked and Techno nodded, taking him to his room. He started up his computer, happy to see a message from you. He quickly typed a response before video calling you and putting his headset on Tommy. 

You answered the call almost right away, aww’ing when you saw Tommy with the big headset on. “Hey big man, shouldn’t you be sleeping?” you said and he nodded, “yes but I woke up because they were all being loud and then Techno was going to talk to you and I wanted to say goodnight.” Techno smiled softly, kind of bummed he couldn’t hear your replies. “Awe that’s not good. Next time you just punch Techno lightly and he’ll be quiet.” you said to Tommy, making him giggle mischievously. Techno raised his eyebrow at both of you, that didn’t seem good. “I will. Goodnight (Y/N)!” Tommy said while waving. “Goodnight! Sleep well and sweet dreams.” you smiled and waved back. “I’ll be right back.” Techno said into the headset as he put it down and went to put Tommy in his bed.

After a few minutes he was back, “hey love.” he said as he put on his headset. “Gosh!” you sighed, making Techno laugh. “Please give me an announcement next time, I think I just lost 10 years of my life.” you said, Techno only laughing harder. “I will, I will, sorry.” he smiled. The two of you talked all night, switching to your phones when it became too late. You fell asleep first, Techno chuckling when he heard your soft snores. “Goodnight, (Y/N).” he whispered, before falling asleep himself. 

[parkersroses]

are you taking requests ? if you are could you write something about y/n’s dad being a musician who’s helping harry write his album and he wants to take y/n on a date but she has a rule about not going out with musicians, you can choose the ending or change whatever you want !

music in me. | harry styles.

summary: Harry and Y/N are both pining for each other but don't know how to tell the other.

pairing: harry styles x fem!reader

wc: 2.9k

warning(s): fluff <3

a/n: heyyy! to the anon who requested this, i hope you like it! i wasn't planning on doing requests but this was a cute concept and i couldn't help but write it. i tweaked it a bit but it's still the same concept. hope everyone likes it too! reblog (!!) and comment if you do, here's my ko-fi! all my love <3

—

He’s the only one in the room, sitting on the piano bench with his lyric journal out. Lyrics to a song are written messily on the pages with annotations. Piano notes scribbled along the lines, some are crossed out because he didn’t think it sounded right.

While everyone else were out for a break, Harry insisted on staying in the studio to try and finish a song, telling them he’s okay as long as they get him some black coffee or a snack. He quite enjoys the quietness of it and it helps him focus. Well, most of the time.

Sometimes, a pretty girl would pass by and Harry would get distracted by said girl. He’s known her for a while now, having to be the daughter of one of the producers he was working with.

When he met her for the first time, Harry swore that he was entranced by her beauty and sweetness that she exuded before him. She had a voice as sweet as honey and a lot of kindness to share around the room. She stops by the studio once in a while to help out her father, most times she’d come in bringing homemade sandwiches and some pastries from a nearby bakery. Harry once kept telling her how he was a cashier at a bakery one time and she laughed as she told him she knew. Besides, no one forgets that the Harry Styles worked at a bakery.

Harry very much likes her; he guesses that he might have developed a small crush on her. She’s stayed a couple of times with him in the studio and even gave him some of her thoughts which he never knew meant a lot to him. He enjoys her company and finds it lovely to have formed a friendship with her. The fact that he was working with her father didn’t really phase them. They were good friends.

Yeah, good friends.

Except he wishes he wasn’t afraid to ask for more.

He’s playing around with the keys, eyes closed as he envisions what the song would best sound like. Occasionally, he’d cringe if he hits the wrong key or the order was just off. He’s so into working on the piano that he doesn’t realise a familiar face walking into the room.

Y/N smiles at the picture laid out in front of her. She’s carrying a drink carrier with both her drink and Harry’s; she might have heard that he would be in here. She almost doesn’t want to disturb him as he seems so tranquil in his own world, creating art for the whole world to hear.

She contemplates on calling his name by doesn’t as he snaps out of his world and sees her. “Oh! Hi!” He smiles at the sight of her. She returns the smile and walks over to him by the piano.

“Hey. Got you some things. Thought you might be hungry so I got food too,” she lifts the bag and drinks in front of him and sets it on top of the piano. He thanks her and takes his cup, his name clearly written in black sharpie on it. He blows the steam of his coffee as she takes out the food she got for them, some seafood pasta. Something in him seems to lighten up when he sees this, knowing he had mentioned to her once about his pestacarian diet. So, it warms his heart that she would get something he’s able to eat.

“Have to be honest, I was actually getting a bit hungry just sitting here, waiting for the others.” He chuckles as he takes the packed container and reaches for the wooden utensils she brought. “Well, why didn’t you just go with them?” She asks as she twists her fork onto the pasta.

He shrugs at this. “Just thought I’d work on this. Besides, you got me food now and I didn’t even ask,” he teases her. Both of them laugh as she nudges his shoulder.

The two of them settle on their meals, making small talk in between bites. Harry almost feels a bit shy having to sit alone in the studio next to a pretty girl he’s been crushing. It’s not like he doesn’t want to tell her. He’s gotten the hint that she might like him too. From the way her eyes are always focused on him whenever he has to say something to the remembrance of the little things he mentioned to her. She looks at him the way he thinks he looks at her, full of awe and adoration.

He so desperately wants to take her out, but a lot of things might get in the way of that. The big elephant in the room is her father. He doesn’t want people to think he only likes her because Harry is working with her father and he certainly doesn’t want him to think that way either. And he knows how mean people can be sometimes.

But Harry doesn’t care all that much about what people would say. He’d protect her with everything in him. Question is whether she would want to do this with him too.

“How’s the song coming along?” She nods towards the book in front of him as she swallows her food. He stares at her for a second, admiring how lovely she looks today before averting his gaze. “It’s alright, I guess. Just figuring out the keys and all. Might not even make the album with how it’s sounding.” He shrugs like it’s not a big deal.

She stifles a laugh as she studies the messy annotations on this page. “Oh no. Doesn’t sound good enough for the next amazing Harry Styles album?” She jokes, nudging his shoulder again. He laughs at this, his cheeks warming up at the compliment.

“Well, some songs don’t end up in the album anyway. This is probably for fun.” He tells her as he sips on his coffee. She nods at him and gestures to the book again. “May I?”

He nods and gives her his book without a question. He trusts her and her judgement enough and really cares about her opinion on whether a song is good. Her eyes skim over the words written on the pages and she even turns to the other pages to what else he’s written down.

“These songs are amazing, Harry.” She tells him, smiling as she reads the lyrics. Harry blushes at the compliment. He’s had many people compliment his songwriting, from his mother to his band to the fans he meets; but there is something about knowing it’s good in her eyes that makes him feel proud of his songwriting abilities.

Maybe it’s because he’s whipped for her. It’s a good thing she won’t know that most of the songs he’s written for this album were inspired by her; that’d save him from a bit of embarrassment.

“Thank you, darlin’,” he says, taking back the book and setting it on the piano.

“So, which one is about me?”

“What?” His eyes are suddenly wide open as he looks at her with a panicked expression.

She stares at him for a minute before giggling. “I’m kidding! Gosh, should’ve seen the look on your face. That was gold,” she stifles in her laughter at him. He huffs, rolling his eyes at her as his cheeks are flaming up.

“Yeah, yeah, you got me, you little minx,” he says as he pokes on his side, making her squeal at the ticklish feeling.

The laughter in the room simmers down into comfortable silence. Harry looks over at her, his eyes running over her features, studying her. She seems to sense this because she looks up at him. They stare at each other in silence until she smiles at him, leaning in to rest her head on his shoulder.

“Play something for me?” She mumbles. He grins and lays his head on top of hers. His fingers lay on the keys and he starts to play a familiar tune from one of his songs from his last album. The two sit together, listening to the sounds of the piano filling the room.

When the rest of the team comes back, Y/N’s father is looking around for her. He knew she somehow stayed behind to keep Harry some company. He doesn’t think too much of it; he’s seen the way they both interacted and he was more than glad they got along. Maybe a little too much.

He somehow could sense a mutual liking between the two. It was sweet to be fair. It was like seeing his little girl talking to a guy she likes in school all over again. He’s not one to be a strict parent; all he wants is to look after her. There were too many guys in the industry who’d try to take advantage of her because of him, which is why he would always get cautious of them.

But he sees the way Harry and Y/N look at each other like they’re the only ones in the room. For a moment, he begins to think that maybe this is the guy for her. Someone who genuinely likes her and would sometimes go out of his way to spend time with her, even if it wasn’t work-related. Harry is generally a respectable man, but it truly warms his heart to see the way he treats Y/N the way he knows she deserves to be treated.

Then, he stumbles upon the two in the same studio room Harry said he would be. He sees the two sitting close to each other as Harry plays the piano. Occasionally, they would both giggle at each other for reasons he’s sure it’s something between just them. He stands by the door for a while as he watches them, a smile graces on his face. He sees the smiles and happiness radiating on their faces.

And he thinks to himself that maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

As the session for the day ends, Harry and everyone else are ready to pack it up and go home. As he puts his water bottle and journal into his tote bag, he steals a few glances at Y/N in which she returns, leaving both of their faces flushing in warmth. He approaches her nervously while she plays around with her fingers.

“Um,” he starts. “Thanks for today.” She chuckles at his words and shakes her head.

“I didn’t really do anything, but you’re welcome,” she jokes. They both let out a laugh.

“Well, uh, take care,” he says and she gives him a small smile. She was hoping he’d say more but she doesn’t push it. “You too,” she points out.

He nods as he slowly walks backwards to the door. He stops in his tracks for a moment before opening his mouth again. “I, uh,” he begins again and she waits for his next words nervously. “I’ll see you in the next session, yeah?”

Her heart deflates a bit but she hides her tiny disappointment with a smile. “Definitely, Harry.”

They awkwardly bid each other goodbye before parting their ways. Unbeknownst to them, her father watched the whole scene and he shakes his head at the silly adults.

He calls for Y/N and tells her to sit with him for a minute. “Yeah, dad?” She questions him as she sits on the couch. “Want to tell me why you and Styles look like nervous teenagers, wishing the other would ask them on a date?”

Y/N is shocked to say the least as she stumbles on her words and tries to pretend she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He chuckles at his daughter’s act. “Think you should put him out of his misery and let him ask you out. Or better yet, you should ask him out.”

“But dad, what about you?”

He cocks an eyebrow at her question. “What about me, sweetie?”

She chews on her bottom lip gently before speaking. “It’s just, I know he has a lot of respect for you and he doesn’t want to make things weird if anything did happen between us. Plus, what if he’s like those other guys that try to kiss up to you through me? I really like him, dad.” She mumbles out the last part under her breath. Her father sees the slight dilemma his daughter has and shakes his head at her, smiling.

He lifts her chin up so she could look at you. “I know he’s not one of those guys. While the rest of those boys can try and fool me, he’s a man with a lot of heart and respect towards others. And I can tell you that he really likes you too. I’ve seen the way you look at each other. Don’t think you guys are so slick with that.”

Y/N giggles at her father’s words. “Thanks, dad,” she tells him, kissing his hand and holding it tightly. It somehow reminds him of the first time her tiny baby hands tried to hold his hand. It makes him choke up, knowing his little girl isn’t so little anymore.

But if it’s Harry who’d be the man that’ll make her happy, then he’s completely fine with that.

He kisses her head lovingly and pats her shoulder. “Now, you better go after him before you come home sulking because you didn’t catch him. I’ll go wait in the car for you,” he suggests. Y/N’s face beams with joy as she stands and runs out of the room.

The sun is setting by the time she reaches the front door of the studio building. She looks around to see if Harry has left yet. She doesn’t see him and she starts to frown at this. She’s about to sulk on her way to her father before she hears a familiar deep voice calling her name.

“Y/N?” She turns around and grins as she sees Harry walking over to her.

“Hey! You’re still here,” she beams at him. Harry smiles at her, noting how adorable she looks. “Yeah, had a chat with Mitch and Sarah before they left.” He points behind him for her to see their car driving past them, honking at them as if to say goodbye.

“Anyways, you alright? Saw you ran out here,” he asks concerned. It truly makes her heart flutter knowing how much he even cares. Not to mention, he’s a very handsome and beautiful young man, especially under the golden hour lighting they’re getting.

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you something,” she tells him. She’s playing with her fingers, something she does when she’s nervous. He hums in response.

“Would you wanna go on a date with me?” She rushes out her words.

But Harry hears her clear enough. He’s surprised at first. He always thought he’d ask her out but she beat him to it. He lets it sink in; the fact that the girl he really likes, likes him back and wants to go on a date with him.

A smile breaks out onto his face and he nods. “Yeah, yeah, I’d love to!” He exclaims.

Y/N lets out a breath of relief as she hears this. “Really?”

“Really! I really like you, Y/N. Been meaning to ask you out but I guess you beat me to it,” he chuckles as he steps closer to her. His hands reach out to grab her hands and she lets him, liking the warmth he gives.

“I really like you too,” she smiles at him. He grins as his eyes run over her face, loving how pretty she looks with the sunlight hitting her complexion.

She’s not sure whether it’s too soon to kiss him but he slowly leans in, as if he’s waiting to see if she’ll reject him. But she doesn’t and immediately leans into him, letting lips finally touch.

She feels him smile into the kiss, their lips move in sync. She breathes in his scent of cologne he wears through her nose and tastes the sweetness of his lips. The feeling they both get is almost overriding their senses and all they can think of is each other.

They break away as they catch their breath. Harry sneakily leans in again to steal a peck which makes her giggle. They’re smiling so hard that their cheeks are starting to hurt.

“That was nice,” he grins at her. She nods as she looks at him with dazed eyes.

“I should probably head back now,” she points out behind her. Harry nods understandingly. “I’ll call you later, alright? Let me know when you and your dad get home safe,” he says, his thumb stroking over her knuckles gently.

She nods in agreement. “Goodnight, Harry,” she bids him.

“Goodnight, darling,” he gently says back.

They don’t move apart from each other until Harry leans in again. “One more kiss,” he mumbles as his lips press against hers. She doesn’t object as she moans lightly at the feeling of his lips again. They break away, giggling as they bid each other goodnight again.

As soon as they part away, Y/N waits until she sees him getting in his car before squealing in delight as she skips back to her car. While this happens, Harry is shouting in his car, letting it sink in that he finally has the girl who inspired most of the songs he wrote for his new album.

[angelatmidnight1]

Dancing With The Legends (pt 1)

Another post that isn’t tickle related, but I’m usually listening to music while writing stories, and this is an idea I’ve had for a while, and I couldn't wait to write it anymore. Again, I’ll probably look at this later and get embarrassed, but I’m doing it anyway! It was getting long so I think I’ll add in the other Legends in additional parts. I probably won’t include all Legends though cause I don’t think all of them would be up for dancing.

Personally I’d love to dance with Mirage; I’m not much of a dancer, but I think he’d make me feel the most comfortable. 😅

You: *hearing your favorite song* Ooo, I love this song! Hey, wanna dance?

Wattson: “Oui, I’d love to! Allons-y!”

A very enthusiastic dancer, even if not totally on the beat.

Knows a couple of current popular dances, but mainly makes up her own moves.

There’s no one better at the electric slide than her. No one.

Prefers to dance to upbeat pop songs.

If it’s a song she really likes, she’ll sing along to it too.

If you seem nervous, she’ll basically be your cheerleader; you don’t look silly, she loves dancing with you, and she just wants you to have fun!

Maybe having a third dance partner would help? Because she’d most likely drag Wraith onto the dance floor to join too.

Octane: “¡Sí! Better keep up with me, amigo.”

Everything Octavio does is fast; that includes how he dances.

Whatever the popular dances are, he knows them backward and forward.

He gets into semi-regular dance battles with Lifeline; he insists that he’s the better dancer because he’s faster!

It can be difficult to dance with Octavio since he does his own thing; it’s better to copy what he does, and he’ll totally teach you!

His fans love him for his stunts, but in his eyes, everything can be a stunt.

So don’t be surprised if he insists on throwing nades in the air and trying to complete a headspin.

Prefers to dance to fast paced hip hop, rap, or Latin songs.

Lifeline: “Of course! Heh, been a while since I’ve been on the dance floor.”

Ajay has natural rhythm and effortlessly glides to music.

It’s like she becomes one with the music and it’s actually beautiful to watch.

So, for a good thirty seconds, you’re just standing there.

That’s until she catches you looking, and she goes “(Y/N), ya gon shift ya carcass or what?”

Unlike Octane, Ajay isn’t about speed when dancing; she wants to feel the music, the lyrics, and the rhythm. And she wants to get lost in it with you.

If you’re a little shy or unsure, she’ll notice immediately, and she’ll playfully grab you by the hips so that you’re closer to her.

“C’mon now, move with me. Ya ain’t got nothin’ to be worried about.”

Needless to say, her confidence is infectious. And she’s down to groove to any music with a moving beat.

Loba: “Mm, how can I say no to someone as lovely as you? I'd love to dance...show me how you move.”

Loba’s stolen many precious items, sometimes right out of the person’s pocket. And dancing with someone is an easy way to get close to them.

She’s sensual when she dances and prefers slower, passionate songs; Shakira wasn’t lying when she said the hips don’t lie.

If she’s dancing with someone, and they’re comfortable enough, she’ll wind her arms around their waist and pull them closer.

After all, she’s leading the dance.

This gives her the opportunity to whisper sweet nothings into her partner’s ear.

But if you’d rather lead the dance, she may hand over the reins. It’s a nice change of pace for her.

And if you manage to sweep her off her feet? Well, let’s just say it won’t be your last dance with her.

Mirage: “Aw yeah, let’s party! I know all of the moves, prepare to be amazed.”

Sure, Elliott’s a braggart. There’s no doubt about that.

But he’s a surprisingly good dancer; must have learned a thing or two from the parties he hosted.

Sometimes gets into arguments with Octane because, hello, Elliott’s the best dancer in the Outlands.

Remember the Mirage Voyage? Because break dancing and the shuffle step are his trademark moves.

Dancing with you is a perfect opportunity for him to show off.

“Check this out, (Y/N)! I call this one the shmoovle step…get it?”

It’s almost impossible to be nervous dancing with him; between him showing off his dance moves and giving off so much positive energy, he’s a fun dance partner.

If it’s a partner dance, expect his flirtatious nature turned up 1000%.

You can then expect him to dish out moves that’ll certainly have all eyes on the two of you.

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Ch. 15

Story summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: Your attempt to help your brother move result in Yoongi meeting your family -_- 

Previous Chapter here 

TW: as previously mentioned, YN and her brother were abused by their dad. It is mentioned by her brother. Trigger will be labeled before and after by **  ** Yoongi’ song “The Last” is also referenced at the very end, which implies thoughts about self-harm/suicide attempt. But it’s a good, long chapter! There is fluff and humor in it too!

---------------------------

Late last night you received an email from your brother’s school informing you a dorm space had opened up and he could move in as soon as possible. You wanted to check and make sure there wasn’t anything else you should be doing today before you rented a van.  

You put on your robe and headed out to the main living area. Half the coffee pot was already gone and you heard light movements from upstairs. You wondered if Yoongi was prone to hangovers or not.  You poured yourself a cup of coffee and heard Yoongi pad down the stairs. 

“How are you feeling today?” You asked without looking up from your steaming mug.

“A little dehydrated but fine.” He passed you as he headed over to the sink for water. “Really? We’re just wearing robes around the house now?” 

You waited, slowly savoring the taste of the hot bean water in your mouth. You swallowed. “You were in your underwear the other day. I think the robe is fine.” You turned dramatically and looked at him.  “Unless you prefer just underwear?” 

“Aish, don't remind me.” He waved in your direction as though he could dissipate the memory with his hand. It was too early for flirting.

You laughed. “Hey, if it's OK, I'd like to go help my brother move today. A dorm space opened up for him and I'd like to get him settled in before school starts again tomorrow.”

Yoongi leaned against the counter, “Yeah, that's fine. You should do that.” 

“Great,  thanks!” You turned and went back to the bedroom to get dressed. 

When you returned to the main area Yoongi was gone, you didn’t bother checking by the door as you grabbed your purse and slipped on some shoes. You texted your brother to remind him what time you would arrive and then hopped on the train to the car rental place.

Fifteen minutes later you walked in, produced your driver’s license and payment and were then declined. 

“What do you mean? I already prepaid online.” You asked the attendant. 

“It’s not the payment, it’s your license. You rented the cargo van. You don’t have a license to drive that vehicle, it’s level one.” The man explained, gesturing to a garage full of vehicles as though that explained anything.

“Isn’t it just like a regular van but big?”

“No ma’am it’s more like a box truck. I can get you a regular van but I can’t refund your rental of the cargo van because it was a day-of rental.”

“I had to enter my license to rent the van. Why does it authorize licenses if they aren’t the correct type?” You asked, annoyed. It wasn’t his fault, probably, but that definitely seemed like a crappy thing for the website to allow.

“I understand that ma’am but the website will allow anybody to pay for the van and the driver’s license check is very basic and checks to see if you have one, not the level. Now, would you like to rent a regular van?”

You stood there for a minute weighing your options. “Give me a minute.” You walked over to the waiting area and took out your phone. You opened the BigHit employee portal and scrolled through the services. There were so many options: food delivery, laundry pick up, chauffeur, pet walking, but nothing about hiring a driver for other vehicles. You groaned and dialed Yoongi’s number. Normally you would text but you felt like there was too much to say. The phone rang a few times.

“Hello?” It was surprising to you how deep his voice sounded on the phone.

“Hey...I'm sorry to bother you. Does anybody at the company have a Level 1 driver's license that I can like request via the app? I didn't realize the one I rented is for a license I don't have.” You paused. “This is so embarrassing.” Silence extended from the other side, making you feel awful, like you had probably interrupted something important.  You began again, " I can maybe just do it next weekend. I can find somebody by then I'm sure. It’s fine. What’s one more week.”

"I can drive it." 

You felt awkward having Yoongi do it."Noooo. Don't worry about it. I can do it next week. I’m sure I can find somebody.” 

“Aish send me the address. I'll do it.” He replied, starting to sound irritated.

“Were you busy? You don't have to.”

“You know the company phones have GPS trackers in them? But it will be a hell of a lot faster if you just send me the address.”

You sighed, “Ok. Thank you.”

“See you soon.”  

You awkwardly waited at the rental agency, kicking your feet in your chair like a little kid waiting for their parents. After about half an hour you heard the door ding and saw Yoongi walk in. He had traded his sweats for jeans, but otherwise had the same casual shirt and expression. 

“Hello sir,” the desk attendant greeted Yoongi. “How may I help you today?”

“I’ve been told I’m here to drive a van.” Yoongi looked your way.

"Oh, are you here for that one?" the guy at the counter gestured at you.

Rude. 

Yoongi smirked, “Yep. That one’s mine.”

Your jaw almost dropped. Fucking brat. You walked over. "It's a good thing you're being so helpful darling." You gritted between your teeth. You watched as Yoongi handed over his license and had it scanned without any issues. 

“Here you go Mr. Min.” The attendant handed him the keys. You heard him laugh as he took them.  He started to walk out to the rental garage with you following. 

"’Thanks for coming. I do appreciate it."

"It’s no problem. I mean. You, once again, will owe me dinner. But other than that. It's nothing." He clicked the remote to find the right van. "Why are you renting such a big ass van?" 

"Because my family doesn't own a car and I'm an idiot. The website didn't make it look that big. I put in my license and it let me rent it. Don’t you think it should deny it if it knows you can’t drive it?"  The two of you stopped in front of the cargo van. It was big. But not that big, you scowled.

"Oh man. I used to drive so much music equipment around in my shit van. This brings back memories." He climbed into the driver's seat. You walked around to the passenger side and stepped up as well. "And lucky for you, I came prepared today." He popped in a CD he'd been stowing in his coat pocket. 

"Oh my God. You are the cutest." You said, somewhat accidentally, out loud. 

Yoongi paused, and looked over at you. "I am not cute." 

You smiled and pinched your fingers together. "A little bit." 

He shook his head and put his hand on the gear shift. "Nope. Cue up the GPS." 

"The tiniest cute." You typed in the address. 

"Feared rapper and music producer. Ice King. Loner. It's in the lyrics, you should listen." He turned the car audio on.

"OK cutie, I know you have stuffed animals in the loft area." 

He held a finger up to his lips. "Quiet woman, I'm driving." 

You laughed and relaxed into the seat. "I fell asleep on track 5."

He pushed some buttons and you settled in for the car ride. 

Yoongi was thankful for the excuse of looking at the road so he couldn’t see your expressions as you listened. He put so much of himself in his lyrics, it was like taking his heart and mind out of his body and showing it to other people. Which for some reason felt fine when it was complete strangers, but felt so weird with someone he knew. He tried to play it cool. He knew he was two songs away from his most personal track.

“Ok, turn in here. We can park here for up to two hours without a permit.” You guided him near an alleyway next to your Aunt’s apartment. You sent a text telling them you were here. “Thanks. You can wait here if you want. I don't know how much packing there is left to do. Sorry. I just got the email this morning. There are also some coffee shops around here or some restaurants. I’m not sure what---” 

Yoongi unbuckled his seatbelt and cut you off. “Hey. You don't have to do this by yourself. OK?” He opened the door and got out before you could respond.

You took a few deep breaths and exited the van, walking around to the front to lead the way to the apartment. “Ok thanks. Also I apologize in advance for my Aunt.”

“She won’t be the first Auntie I've met,” Yoongi smirked. “Don't worry, Aunties and Grannies love me.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about. Also sorry in advance for my brother. He seems rude, but it’s just because our family life was so fucked up. He’s a good kid.”

“Hey, I can relate,” Yoongi opened the door for you. “It’s fine. Really.” 

“Ack, I don’t think I can do this.” You turned and faced him.

“Do what?” Yoongi asked, perplexed.

“Have you meet my family. It’s. We’re all weirdos. The apartment is so small. It’s embarrassing. I already feel bad that you came and helped me.” You spew out everything at once, your anxiety levels suddenly spiking.

Yoongi sighed and put his hands in his pockets. “Hey. It’s fine. I was going to meet them eventually anyways right? Might as well be before the wedding,” He teased you.

You were surprised. This was the first time he had mentioned anything about the other part of your contract. It had always been you teasing him about it.

“I guess so.” You took a deep breath. “Ok. Just...please...Remember. We’ve been through a lot.” You suddenly felt so vulnerable as you pushed the elevator button. You led the way to your old apartment and unlocked the door.

“Aunt Vi, I’m here.” You yelled from the foyer as the two of you slipped your shoes off.

“Oh finally, I was getting worried, you’re over an hour late and you're usually so prompt and hello young man.” Aunt Vi stopped dead in her tracks as she arrived in front of the two of you.

“Hello. Min Yoongi, nice to meet you.” He bowed.

Your Aunt gaped like a fish for a moment and eyed you. “Yes of course, I’m Vi.. And this is…?”

“My boss, Auntie. He drove the van today. Apparently giant ass vans need a special license.” You smiled sheepishly.

“Do not use such language in front of your boss, young lady.” She scolded. 

Yoongi cleared his throat to hide a laugh. It was unusual seeing someone boss you around for a change. 

“Yes of course, sorry Auntie. I’m very sorry, Mr. Min.” 

“That’s better. Now come in. You, help Jihoon pack, Mr. Min come join me for tea.”

She turned around and you gave Yoongi a stank look while he silently laughed at you. You flipped him the middle finger while he acted offended.

Auntie Vi turned around, “That is of course if he wants some.”

The two of you pretended to be perfect angels once again, “That would be lovely Aunt Vi.” He responded, sounding like a boy scout. You rolled your eyes at him the minute your aunt turned her back. You left the two of them as they headed to the kitchen and you went to the living room.

Your brother was packing up some books into one of the boxes when you walked over.

“Hey. Make sure the books go into a few small boxes instead of one big one, or they’ll be too heavy to carry.” You said as you grabbed another empty box and started to pack some things.

“Yeah ,ok. Those other two boxes are books as well. There should be a bookcase in the dorm. I think all my friend’s rooms have one.”

“Ok great, I’ll label them.” You walked into the kitchen to grab a sharpie and briefly overheard Vi and Yoongi. Yep. She was in love, you smirked and headed back to help your brother.

You were surprised when you walked past the hallway and saw two blankets on the floor, slowly moving. You smiled and paused, “Huh. What strange moving blankets.” You heard a set of giggles and continued on your way.

Your brother and you continued to put items into boxes and the blankets continued to slowly wriggle down the hallway until they made it to the corner. Your sister and niece sat up and pressed their tiny bodies against the wall, straining to see who the mysterious voice belonged to. You looked over and smiled. 

Aunt Vi paused for a second and heard the faint sound of giggles and “shhhh”

“There better not be any little girls eavesdropping,” She said. Everyone in the apartment heard the sounds of stomping and running down the hallway, followed by a door shutting. Vi sighed and Yoongi laughed. 

You set down the roll of tape and walked back to the bedroom. "Come on out girls." You led the way for them down the hallway. They nervously stood in the kitchen in front of Yoongi and your Aunt.

“Mr. Min, this is my sister, Hayoon, and my niece, Sooah.” You introduced them as they bowed deeply, as though they had been preparing for this moment for their whole lives.

Yoongi smiled warmly at them, “It’s a pleasure to meet you ladies.” You could see your niece already blushing. These girls were boy crazy already and you were sure they would relive this moment over and over again. They managed to squeak out a “you too.” Before they looked around awkwardly about what to do next.

“Alright girls, either help move boxes or git.” You prompted them. They looked at each other and then scrambled back to the bedroom, giggling the whole way. You sighed and went back to packing. Fortunately since your brother was living on the couch, he didn’t have a lot to pack. In retrospect you probably didn’t need the van. Oh well. Better to be over prepared than underprepared, you mused. 

You walked into the kitchen, “Excuse me, may I have the keys please? It’s time to start loading.”

Yoongi stood up, “Yeah sure, let’s go.”

You looked at him, “Oh no sir. I could not expect you to carry the boxes. Keys please.” You held out your hand.

Yooongi scoffed, “I can carry boxes.”

Aunt Vi quietly cleared her throat, “That would be too much surely. Won’t you please sit down and I’ll make you some lunch.”

Ah the intersectionality of age and class rank here were making your head spin, but you knew that he couldn’t turn down lunch from your Aunt, even as she turned around and he placed the keys in your hand while making a very strange face you couldn’t quite identify. You raised your eyebrows. Taking the keys, you pulled out your phone. 

YN: She’s a good cook, don’t worry. Sorry this is taking so long.

You and your brother each grabbed some boxes and started to move them out by the elevators. After about fifteen minutes you checked your phone.

YG: I feel weird not helping 

YN: You did help, you drove the van

YG: That doesn’t count

YN: Yes it does

You returned to the apartment where you saw Yoongi had somehow inserted himself into the kitchen and was cooking alongside Aunt Vi. That’s it, you thought, she’s never going to not mention him again. You sighed. Grabbing the last few boxes you and Jihoon began to fill the elevator and slowly move the items closer and closer to the van. An hour later it was all packed up.

“How was your soup?” You asked as you came back into the apartment, ripping off your sweatshirt. You had started off cold, but were now glistening with sweat.

“Really good, thanks again Auntie,” Yoongi looked over to Vi.

“Oh please, he’s the one who ended up doing most of the cooking. Are you single Mr. Min? Are you allowed to date your employees?--------”

Oh God it was happening, you were shocked it had taken this long honestly.

“Because even though YN isn’t much to look at, she’s a very hardworking girl.”

“We gotta go. Time to leave. Is there any leftover soup for Jihoon?” You asked as you cut her off and started scrambling around the kitchen for a takeaway container.

“There’s plenty of soup, grab some for Jihoon. Not for you though, you don’t need the calories.”

Oh God she was going full blown Auntie on your ass. Help. You looked over to Yoongi, mortified, but he was just standing there, the tiniest smile playing on his lips. He briefly flicked his eyes in your direction, causing you to feel flustered.

“Anyways, you should keep her in mind. Our family is unlucky, but we do try to make up for it.”

“I have the Soup, can we please leave now?  We have to return the van.” You grabbed your purse, sweater, soup, and coat.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Yoongi said calmly. “Thank you for your hospitality Auntie. I hope to see you again soon :] .” He walked over near the door, put on his coat and took the soup from you.

“Put your coat on.” He chided

“I’m sweaty.” You responded

“You won’t be when you get back outside.”

You huffed but complied anyways. The poor man had suffered through an hour and a half of your family, you weren’t about to argue with him.

Your brother was waiting in the van with his headphones on listening to music. You climbed into the middle seat.

“Oh my God I am so sorry.” You said the minute the door closed.

“It’s fine. Like I said, not my first Auntie. She’s nice.”

“She called me ugly and told me not to eat.” You whined. “Hey...speaking of you called me ugly too the first time we met.”

Your brother took off his headphones; apparently interested in this conversation.

Yoongi rubbed the back of his neck. “Did I say that to you? That doesn't seem like something I would say.”

“Well, no. But you didn’t disagree with me when I said it.” You side eyed him.

He laughed, “I think you know you’re not ugly. You don’t need me to tell you that.” He pulled out onto the main street.

“I don’t know. Having heard it every day of her life growing up, it might not be a bad thing to not say to her.” You heard Jihoon say from next to you.

You tensed up briefly. “Jihoon, it’s a joke. Everyone else at the interview was literally a supermodel. Everyone.” 

“Sorry. People calling my sister ugly doesn’t seem very funny to me.” He said and moodily turned to face the window.

This was the kind of awkward you were worried about. “Sorry. Jihoon is a little protective. Also he doesn’t understand jokes.”  You tried to lighten the mood by teasing. It did not work.

“Jokes are supposed to be funny. I understand that.” He said snidely from the passenger’s seat.

You sighed, “Anyways, thanks again for driving. You’ll turn right here and then there should be signs for the school in about 4 kilometers.”

Yoongi was very quiet. He didn’t want to piss your brother off again. You pushed play on the audio, welcoming a change of pace from the quiet. To your shock, he hit the pause button. “Let’s listen to it later.” He said quietly to you. He didn’t think the lyrics would put your brother in a better mood and he also didn’t particularly feel like sharing the vulnerable side of himself at the moment.

“Is it normal to tell someone they can’t listen to music in a car? Asking for a friend.”

“Stop being an asshole Jihoon. Mr. Min was nice enough to drive the van for us today to move you into the dorm. And to give me a job to pay for the dorm. You need to be more respectful.”  The phrase came out of your mouth before you could even stop it. It was a triggering phrase for both of you and you instantly regretted it.

**************

“Right.” Your brother said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  “Be more respectful. Just because someone’s older than you they deserve your respect no matter what. That’s what dad always said while he was beating us, remember?”

***************

You rolled your eyes, unable to keep your cool. “Oh my God. You’re supposed to be working through this shit in therapy not in a fucking moving van with me and my boss. I am so sorry.” You said to Yoongi who was trying very hard to pretend he wasn’t in the van at that exact moment.

“I didn’t ask to be in a moving van with you and your boss and I didn’t ask to be moved into the dorms today.” He argued back. 

“You’d rather still be on the couch at Aunt Vi’s? I can unload all this shit and cancel your room. I can totally do that right now.” You snapped at him.

Jihoon huffed angrily. Such a moody teen. 

“I’ll take that as a “no”,” you responded. “Yoongi, I am so sorry.”

“For the record, does your boss know our dad's a fucking psycho?” Your brother said in English. You had done terribly in English and hadn’t touched it since High School. You understood the word Fuck though and were getting ready to scold you brother 

Yoongi didn't want to overstep his bounds, but at the same time, your brother was being a rude little shit. The whole reason you had agreed to marry a guy you didn’t know was to take care of this ungrateful child. Before he could help himself, he responded in perfect English, “Yeah, I heard you dad was an asshole. And I'm sorry that happened to you. It shouldn’t have and it really sucks. But your sister works her ass off for you.”

Yoongi was pissed. You could tell that much by the tone. You understood sister and that was about it. Or maybe he said sweater. But it was probably sister. 

Your brother was clearly surprised by whatever he heard and also mildly irritated. “What do you know about any of that?”

“I know that in her job interview all she talked about was you and your little sister and how she worries about the two of you and that’s why she took a job where she is on call 24/7 and why she’s worked 2 jobs for the past 7 years.”

You understood the number 2. That was it. This was a passionate discussion on Yoongi’s part. You were getting ready to speak after several seconds of silence filled the van. 

Your brother twisted his body and looked at Yoongi. “---Do you….do you like my sister?””

More silence. What the hell were they talking about?

Yoongi cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably, continuing to look straight ahead at the road. “I do. And we’re being rude by having a conversation that she can’t understand. So please stop it.”

Your brother paused for a moment before replying in Korean ”… Yes, hyung.” 

“If he's being rude let me know and I'll take his lunch money. I will literally untransfer funds.” You said, eyeing the two of them suspiciously. “I know how to say “fuck” in English and I definitely heard it.”

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” Yoongi replied. “Here, we can also listen to the word ‘fuck’ some more.” he turned the music back on. Since everyone else was having free therapy in the van, why not join? One song played before you all arrived at the dorms. 

“Go round up some strapping young men to carry these boxes. I have to find your RA.” You told your brother as Yoongi parked the van. He hopped out quickly, all too eager to escape. You rested your head against the headrest and pushed your hands against your eyes. “I am so sorry. Today has been a total nightmare. Worse than I even imagined.” You said, feeling like you might cry.

Yoongi sat there for a few seconds, reliving the afternoon. It had actually been mostly fun for him. “I had a good time. I got to meet your family and I got free soup.”

You looked over at him slightly bewildered. “We need to raise your standards for what a good day should look like Yoongi, because this was a total shit show.” 

“Hey, don’t cry. I hate it when people cry. Your brother has been through a lot. It’s fine. Really. I too was an angry rude teenager and I didn’t have nearly as good of a reason. Come on, let’s finish this shit and get the van back.” He unbuckled his seatbelt. 

You followed suit and entered the dormitory, following the signs. You introduced yourself to the RA, got the keys, and found your brother and two other guys standing outside the van. You recognized the one kid.

“Hey Noona,” He waved. You liked that one. 

Yoongi had apparently started unloading the boxes while you were meeting with the RA. You picked up one of the smaller boxes and headed up to the dorm. With the 5 of you, it didn’t take long to move all the boxes into the dorm.  You placed the soup into the mini-fridge. You sighed and looked around at the mountains of boxes, “Ok. Do you want me to stick around for the unpacking or….?” 

"No. We'll get it." Jihoon responded and walked with you out into the hallway. Yoongi was leaning against the wall near the elevators, scrolling through his phone. 

"Thanks. And I'm sorry about earlier." He said looking down. 

"It's OK, come here." You pulled him in for a hug. He was taller than you. When did that happen?  You squeezed extra tight and then pulled away, "Make sure to answer my texts or else I'll show up here. And I have your RA’s number. Got it?” 

"Yeah yeah." he looked around. 

You looked up at him and brushed some invisible dirt off his shoulder, "OK. I love you. "

" I love you too. "

With that you turned and joined Yoongi by the elevators." Let today end please. " You said, crossing your arms in front of your body. 

"Nope. Not yet. You still owe me dinner," he commented as the two of you entered the elevator. 

You sulked , "You got soup."

"You haven't eaten yet."

You shrugged. It was true. But you were upset and when you were upset you either wanted to eat everything or nothing. Today you felt like nothing. 

The two of you climbed into the van one last time. You rested your head against the window and listened to the music. Yoongi gripped the steering wheel tightly as ‘The Last’ began to play. 

He glanced a look over at you. Your jaw was firmly set and he saw tears rolling down your cheeks. Shit. This was not a good day for this. He paused the music. 

"Sorry, that's pretty heavy for today isn't it?" The car came to a stop at a light and the silence was palpable. 

You breathed out, trying to keep it level. "Sorry, just. You and my brother have that in common." You wiped your eyes as you tried not to cry. You took pride in generally being pretty stoic and good-natured. 

The light turned green. "I guess we're all just fucked up, huh?" 

You sniffled. "Yeah. It just hurts my heart to think about a world where you or my brother don't exist." 

Yoongi felt like someone had hit him with a ton of bricks. He swallowed through the lump forming in his throat as he managed a response, "Well, we're still here. That's what matters. Right?” He tried to sound positive.

“Yeah. I’m glad for that. Turn left.” NEXT CHAPTER @lidda  @anpanman-sonyeondan   @firefairy1  @cuteipat  @sugaslittlekookies  @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny @livelyjay @niniita-ah​

[timelessbibliophile]

I'm 'bout to say something controversial but stick with me here.

I love Olivia Rodrigo, she's an amazing musician, songwriter and singer, but I highly dislike some of her lyrics. Some of her most praised songs Good 4 U, Brutal, Jealousy, Jealousy are incredible objectively, her lyrics are great, the music is catchy, the feeling in her voice as she sings it is great; however the lyrics, as in the message she's sending through those, aren't great.

Subjectively, from my POV all of those seem to have petty remarks about a really terrible thing that's happening in her life, and while I understand the album is called "sour" and isn't supposed to be a happy thing, it just seems the way things are narrated sounds so petty.

For example, in Brutal, Olivia sings "all I did was try my best/ this the kind of thanks I get?" and it bothers me little. You can't expect to be rewarded for "trying your best" that's not how life works. You do a good job, you get rewarded, you do a bad job but tried your best, you'll get hated on. Maybe your close friends and family will be like "well done sweetie, we're proud", but you can't expect to be thanked for something you weren't good at, and i think it's petty of her to say "this is it?" when, as she describes in the song, she really wasn't doing well.

In Good 4 U, she bashes her ex for what? Moving on? I understand the heartbreak of seeing the one you used to love/love rn move on and find someone else, but you can't sarcastically congratulate him for it when he just moved on AFTER you guys were done. And isn't that the point of breaking up? Knowing you're no longer good for each other and moving on to become better? which btw Olivia describes that he did. She sings "I bet that therapist i found for you she really helped/ now you can be a better man for your brand new girl" Why should he be punished for it? She literally says how she helped him get there and it's now mad that he's better?

I have a lot of mixed feelings regarding Jealousy, Jealousy, because while I think it's incredibly relatable (I've been there, I won't lie), I think a pessimistic approach isn't the way to go. Again, the album is called SOUR so it's her sour experiences, I get it, but she could've at least mentioned she was trying to get better. Things like this turn around rEALLY quickly into a "cool kids" thing. This happened with mental illnesses, some [mentally ill] people started talking about their struggles and poking fun at it, and because of that, having Anxiety and Depression started looking quirky, cool and fun. These people obviously weren't doing it on purpose, it's a coping mechanism. I'm not saying Olivia was doing it on purpose either, she was just expressing what she felt, but there's a very thin line between saying what you feel and pointing out it's wrong, and saying what you feel and being so relatable it becomes cool to feel that awful way. No one should feel like they aren't enough because of some photoshopped picture in social media, it's horrible. If I would have written that, i would have taken a line or two to point out that, hey, this isn't normal, you shouldn't feel this way.

Finally, an unreleased song called Victim is the worst one in my opinion. The song narrated the story of a girl who hurts a guy so deeply she feels compelled to tell him he should hurt her too so they're even. Excuse me, what the hell? When you do something wrong, you apologize and pray the other person forgives you. You don't tell them to hurt you the same so that YOU can be the victim. How messed up is that? Asking to be the victim because you feel guilty about something bad you did? Here's some of the lyrics so you can understand why it makes me so mad: "Let me be the victim of your perfect crime/ Bathe in my blood so I'm not the bad guy"

"It'll be in the headlines/ All our friends will hate you"

"Yeah, I messed up/ So that you'll mess up too/ Really want the blame to be on you/ So drive the knife in deep/ Make the victim me"

Of course, I know a lot of people won't agree with this, after all writing a song is a personal thing and you shouldn't be constantly thinking about what others will think when they hear it, but when you have a really big influence on young like Olivia does, it's hard not to critize some of her lyrics.

I just wanna finish off by saying her music is amazing, it actually really annoys me because the songs I mentioned before I love because of their catchy tunes and lyrics, but the message sent by them does not vibe with me.