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cafeinthemoon · 8 months

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King - Chapter IX

Chapter 9/?

Wordcount 3,4k

Title Misguided Behavior

Previous chapters

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 🖤

Warnings: Poseidon is his own warning; non explicit sex; mentions of deep waters and fear of drowning

Tagging @cloveradora @the-dumber-scaramouche @mikkies @sl33py-zer0 @nooneknows8976 (If you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just leave a comment on this chapter or send an ask or a message)

N. A. Finally I'm getting the feeling that the story is moving forward! Yay! Here we have a small, yet important revelation about reader's past, and a peculiar confession from Poseidon, to say the least 😅 Then, a place I've waited so long to introduce to you: the Sea Library, which I'm sure would make the Beauty and the Beast's one seem modest in comparison haha And, finally, the appearance of a new, essential part of this drama as our reader tries to prepare herself for war...

Hope you enjoy this one, and sorry for making wait ^^

It was like laying on the beach, at the very point where the sand meets the sea, but having a block of marble to support your back instead.

That didn’t mean there was no comfort around you: the water was warm, and its warmth extended to the floor where you were; however, the heat that came from Poseidon’s body felt deeper. And this sensation only increased when you realized that this time things wouldn’t be like the wedding night: now, his mercy has reached its limit and no freedom to move or to breathe would be conceded to you so soon, for his arms squeezed you and his legs kept yours in place, his mouth over yours, making you unable to speak.

Knowing your own limitations, you didn’t even try.

This must be my punishment for the slap.

You closed your eyes, sensing your sight getting dark as a strange noise filled your ears. You never knew if your husband noticed this but, following what he said about keeping what belonged to him intact, he moved away from you, allowing you to fill your lungs with the hot air of the room right before you passed out.

But that was just the beginning.

Getting off you, he sent all the water back to the bathtub with a movement of his hand. You looked around and noticed that the spots touched by the water didn’t remain wet when the waves ceased and returned to the tank, which included your dress, tossed aside by him; you shouldn’t be surprised for witnessing the absolute control that the Lord of the Seas showed over such a small portion of water, but here you were, with your eyes wide open and a ridiculous gaping mouth.

And, of course, that didn’t go unnoticed by him, who chuckled as he took you in his arms and led you to the tub’s interior.

As he walked to the opposite side of the tub, you sensed his feet walking down the stairs on its bottom, and each stair that they touched, the water raised an inch and your heart skipped a beat. In an unconscious move, your body curled over itself on his lap.

Heavens, what he’s planning to do? Is he going to…

Your discomfort wasn’t enough for Poseidon to stop: when he reached the last stair and entered the deepest parts of the tub, he just kept walking inside the water with the same naturalness one would walk on the land, holding you bridal style.

At the point where the water covered his waist and your legs and back, he stopped and made a sudden move to release you into the water.

Something – perhaps the thing that some called the primitive, survival instinct – screamed inside you and forced a physical reaction: you wrapped your arms around Poseidon’s neck, looking away from the water, staring at the bathing area’s entry over his shoulder. Only when the rational side of your mind took over again you realized the shameful position you were put in: with your legs surrounding his waist, the soaked fabric of your underwear clinging to your skin – soaked with only water, you hoped – you were holding on to your husband so tight that you were sure you would’ve suffocated him if he was a human. In other occasions, you would’ve moved away from him immediately, but that time it would mean your death, so you ignored your hurt pride and stood there, trembling.

And the god’s mockery was the price you paid for your safeness.

– So... you cannot swim, dragonet? – he whispered in your ear, each word vibrating with the idea of the frail, rebel human finally bent down, depending on him; and, with all possible disdain, – Pathetic.

You were fighting to control your breath, your shivers and your voice all at once, trying not to reinforce the ridiculous depiction that was just imputed to you, but that was too much.

– Poseidon-sama… – you heard yourself whisper; however, you bit your tongue one second before it started begging him to not release you.

You felt his right arm tightening around your waist, as his left hand caressed the back of your head.

– Hm, what is it? Do you already regret challenging me in my own domain? Are you ready to retract yourself? – his lips left a brief kiss on your lobe – I am eager to find out how your voice sounds when you apologize...

In face of that provocation, what was left of your anger was shaken inside you, so you made no attempts to hold back your words.

– No… – your nails dug in the skin of his shoulders – You will drown me here before you hear me apologize, my Lord!

He laughed.

– Good to see you still have some fight in you, but are you sure about this? – his lips brushed your ear as he spoke – Even with the choppy, deep waters under you?

You sensed a strange movement in the water and gasped.

– You are a though one, more than I gave you credit for – Poseidon continued with his teasing, not hiding his diversion, until a slight change in his tone was sensed, for something awakened his curiosity – Still, it intrigues me: how can you not be able to swim? You were raised in a land where there is access to the sea. Have you never touched its waters?

Given that things have come to this point, it was useless to try and hide this from him now. You let out a sigh and confessed something that has been just a trivial fact about yourself until the moment you were taken to live in that underwater kingdom, when it became as embarrassing as a sin.

– I was raised away from the beach – you explained – My mother never loved the sea, so she would never allow me to come near it. Only after she passed away, I was able to go to the coast, but I always stood close to the sand. And, every time I’ve traveled with my father, we would always go through the land. Because he followed the instructions of my mother, my feet never touched the floor of a ship.

Somehow, speaking about this took off a weight from your shoulders and prepared you for whatever reaction your husband could have. When his verbal response came at last, it sounded more serious than you expected.

– This is the most personal thing you have ever told me about yourself, little dragonet. However, I cannot accept the idea that you never found your mother’s attitude strange, to say the least. How can it be that you have never questioned her? You, who did not think twice before defying me?

You swallowed. He was right, and you knew it – how could you never think of asking your mother about her reasons to stay away from the ocean? Was it a childhood trauma? A nightmare, a prophecy or something more mundane, like a distaste for the sea breeze? Or maybe you’ve tried to question her once or twice, but she simply avoided the theme and you forgot about it?

It is really strange now that I think about it. It’s like, before I was taken to his domains, the sea didn’t matter to me. There were days when I even forgot it exists.

Your silence before those questions was taken as a confirmation that none of this sat right to you, so he just continued to talk, more to himself than to you.

– Besides, I am not satisfied with the fact that you just told me these things in face of death – he held you tighter against himself – You are already mine, you understand? It is not fair that I must appeal to such ways every time I need an answer from you.

When your eyes started to burn, you shut them tight to avoid the tears... all in vain.

Then just don’t ask anything more from me.

– Fair? But how could there be any justice in this? – you started with a mumble, but your tone raised as your words came out – I was chosen to live here, but the choice was not mine! I never wanted to come to your domains! I never wanted to become yours! I never wanted to have this conversation! I never wanted any of this to happen...

A lump appeared in your throat, and you were unable to keep speaking. Suddenly, you felt tired, and your head just fell forward, leaning on your husband’s shoulder. His only response to that – not that you expected anything different – was silence.

It's like someone who watches a child throwing a tantrum. My anger and any of my other feelings mean nothing to him. Is this how a god should behave with us?

When you spoke again, your voice was an exhausted whisper.

– It is important for me to know… My entire reason to exist... it changed when you intervened in my fate, my Lord... I need to know why…

That time, you had a verbal answer from him. A clear, simple answer, but enough to make you gasp in incredulity.

– You still ask me why, my dragonet? The reason is obvious – Poseidon gave you a soft, long kiss on your hair – I love you.

Now, you couldn’t help but obey the impulse of moving away from him, frowning as you stared into his eyes, trying to find the slightest signs of mockery or insanity – and the scariest part of this is that you found none.

That’s not possible! He can’t be serious!

– I don’t believe you… – you mumbled, the sight of his traits blurry by your tears.

However, the god was impassible, as if convincing you of his honesty wasn’t a priority… and, indeed, it wasn’t.

– It does not matter if you believe it or not. It is true – he promptly replied – I love all the women I have taken as my wives, and you are not an exception. I do not touch people for whom I hold no love. But you… – you felt his hand caressing your cheek, his thumb wiping the tears from your face – Despite the instabilities of your human heart, which often led you to a misguided behavior, I can not help but feel love for you.

You remembered Suriah’s words about his love for the women he brought to his house, as well as his dislike for rebel ones, and the possibility of this being true got you scared: following her logic, Poseidon’s love for you must have grown deep in an impossibly short amount of time.

But, well, even though you asked him to kill you, asked not to be impregnated, suggested that he treated his women with injustice and, finally, physically attacked him, he kept assuring you about his feelings, stating that it didn’t matter if you thought he was lying; besides, he has treated with you mercy in some sense: he agreed with your request and didn’t make you carry a child right in your first time with him; he treated you with gentleness after that; heavens, he even killed a man to protect your integrity.

It just didn’t make sense.

And how arrogant of him to dismiss my feelings as “misguided behavior”. Is this how he expects to win my affection?

– Like I said, I don’t believe you, Poseidon-sama – you slowly turned your face away from him, trying to stay out of his hand’s reach – You only feel desire for me, if most. It is not the same thing as love.

Despite your attempt to avoid it, his hand reached your face again, this time holding your chin and making you look into his eyes.

– To me, one does not exist without the other – was his reply – You may understand this in any way you want, but it does not erase the truth of my words…

That moment, you sensed a slow, uneasiness in the water around you. At the same time, your husband approached his mouth from yours, drowning you in a kiss before you had a chance to react.

And then, he moved away just enough to finish his sentence:

– …Neither the truth of my actions.

The agitation you noticed on the water went from subtle to clear, and as it raised until it covered your legs, still wrapped on his waist, you sensed it becoming warmer, as to follow the stream of emotions of its master: in each movement, each wave that touched your skin were the confirmation of his words and the extension of his feelings and thoughts, reaching for you with the same persistence as his mouth on your lips, your neck and your collar, and as his hands going through your body, freeing you from your underwear, making you ready for him.

And you just let him.

I was so willing to drown myself here and escape from him… what happened, then? If I don’t believe in his love, what am I doing here?

As if guessing your thoughts, his voice was heard again, bringing out those very questions.

– Where has your determination gone, dragonet? – he held your jawline, his lips brushing over yours – Have you finally seen the truth, or are you just tired?

Your face burned with that, but you didn’t deny him an answer.

It’s simple.

– No, my Lord…

I don’t believe in your love, but I do believe in your desire. And, because of this...

– It’s too late for me.

***

You were waking in silence through parts of the castle that looked familiar, both in an architectural and energetic sense, having a servant to accompany you.

Though they only happened one or two hours ago, the events of that morning seemed as distant as if they belonged to a remote past now, as much as that empty, long corridor where everything started seemed to be in another building on the other side of the kingdom – and you only hoped that you’d never find yourself anywhere near it again.

Moments after touching you in the bathtub, Poseidon took you out of the water and carried you to bed, leaving you there to rest, all by yourself, as he went to a small office he maintained inside those chambers without giving any explanations about what he intended to do or when he would return, and you, who just wanted to reach the castle’s Library before that day ended, were forced to wait until your husband decided to come back to the bed area and finally give you permission to leave the room, which didn’t happen until a long time.

While you waited, hidden inside the sheets, in the middle of that enormous bed, you recalled the things that happened between you since your arrival.

How could he be so sure that his actions were guided by love when all of them showed no regard for your individuality, your nature and your choices, that is, the least expected from a respectful, reasonable love? Heavens, you were taken away from your home, your family and the life you knew to be confined in the depths of the sea, among dozens of other women who were there only to serve one individual, a man who you’ve never met before and who expected compliance and docility from you above all things! What kind of love was that? Were all the other gods just like this?

Maybe the selkie, Melian, was right. This isn’t an appropriate place for humans to live. We’ve been distant from the gods for so long that it’s impossible to live in peace with them now. We don’t even share similar views on love.

Still... you couldn’t continued to say no to him.

At some point, you just let him hold, touch, take you, reaffirming those twisted feelings towards you which he called love, and even started to enjoy it, lured by the fantasy that they were, in fact, the feelings of a loving husband, and now this attitude had your senses and your judgment contaminated, and you saw yourself unable to wash him away; you kept revisiting the events of earlier, the attentions he gave you, his teasing, his caresses, his seductive whispers, and understood that you might have started developing a sort of addiction, so much that, when the next encounter with him happened – because it would happen – you would no longer be able to put up a fight, not even as a formality.

And the scariest part of this is that I’m already missing him. At least my body is. If only he was normal man… I could even say I’m falling in love.

As you walked, you crossed your arms upon your chest, adjusting the shawl as if you were feeling cold.

The servant glanced at you with a worried expression.

– Is everything alright, y/n-san?

You forced a smile on your face.

– Yes. Thank you.

You weren’t sure you convinced the servant of your well being, but were grateful for her to not insist on that conversation: suddenly changing the subject, she indicated a new direction in your path, stating that the Library wasn’t too far now.

– We just have to go to the end of this corridor and walk down a few stairs – she was saying – The Library’s doors are just ahead.

That information revived your moods, and in a minute or two you were standing before the wide, golden doors of the Sea Library. The servant pushed them by the knobs, two spheres with delicate figures of fishes surrounding them that moved like they were swimming in water as a response to the push, and the doors were opened at last.

You were marveled.

On the large hall of white marble that extended before you, imposing shelves of noble wood, with books of all colors and sizes that filled them up to down, occupied the majority of the space, creating hundreds of corridors through which you knew you could get lost if you just walked into them without trying and memorizing the way. The place, you noticed, was formed by at least three floors, connected between themselves by stairs of the same marble of the hall, leading to shelves even larger than those ones near you.

I could spend my entire life here, and there would be still books to read.

The servant’s voice at your right brought you back to reality.

– Do you need me to wait for you here, y/n-san?

You blinked twice. When you turned to the girl, you saw a clever smile on her lips.

– It’s impressive, isn’t it? – she whispered; and, glancing at the shelves, – You don’t know how privileged you are for being allowed to stay here.

Your throat tightened at those words, but you didn’t want to discuss this with her. You had a work to do. Answering her question, you told her that she could go without you, because you intended to stay there for a long time, and she left you right after, wishing you luck in whatever research you were going to start.

Once the doors were closed again and you found yourself alone with the books, you took your first step toward them… and realized you had no idea where to begin.

Stopped before the first shelf and stared at it with something close to fear. You tried to read the titles that were at your eyes’ height, but they were all written in languages you’ve never seen before, some of them seeming impossible to be adopted by a human group; you raised your hand to touch their spines, but stopped before your fingers touched them.

It was when the weight of your mission finally reached you.

Look at the size of this place… Only one year to work on my task would never be enough...

You looked around and, despite sensing your hopes fading, you started to walk through the shelves – and, apparently, this had a soothing effect in your heart, for in a few minutes you found yourself more comfortable than intimidated by those structures.

It’s like traveling through a big city. Scary and fun at the same time.

As well said by the servant, that was an impressive collection, and you wondered how long your husband has taken to gather all of them, if he remembered the first ones or if he has found some of them personally or delegated this task to his servants. You stopped in front of a shelf and sighed: you knew so little about him that all the inner debates you had while coming to the Library were nothing but pathetic.

I’ve been feeling so much for a stranger.

Your mind was making so much noise for nothing. You chuckled and turned away from those books, decided to explore the next shelf…

– A human being using the Tyrant’s Library to gather weapons? Finally, some diversion coming our way.

#snv poseidon #ror poseidon #snv x reader #ror x reader #poseidon x reader #ror poseidon x reader #snv poseidon x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie poseidon #record of ragnarok poseidon #poseidon snv #poseidon ror

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astrum99 · 3 months

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Of course I have to write something with the new lore drop on Gabriel's pronouns:') Anyways: sets around the 3-2 epilogue.

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It was unfair. It was absolutely unfair.

He had done his assignments to perfection for millennia, for eons. Slayed enemies by the orders of the Father, the council. He tore away the seat of the judge within hell and sat there for as long as he was told to. He spilled blood without thinking, because he trusted them to make the right call, because how can God be wrong? How can the council be wrong?

He knelt in front of them. Body low and curled. Head drooped like his wings. Shame and pain stewed and bloomed from his first fail, due to an abomination of a machine that defies all odds. He needed to warn the council and purge the machine once more with some additional helping hands.

Yes, he needed their support now more than ever, but they were not sparing him a single glance. They looked away as if it were them that were hurt. He couldn’t get a single word in before the tremendous voices of the council overwhelmed him. The repulsion in their voice wormed its way into his veins and turned to ice. It pinned him to the cold marble flooring. Not a single explanation was given a place. He can’t get a word in before they cut him off. How can they judge without letting the defendant speak?

He was injured, he was bleeding. His wounds were open, pulsing, still burning badly from the piercing of the relentless gunfire. Yet here he was, kneeling and grovelling like a creature, a husk. The council spared him no mercy, no sympathy. No offers for healing or rest. Only utter disgust and resentment. “Heresy,” their voice echoed, louder and louder.

They stripped him of his rank, of his pride. They called him it. As if he was nothing more than a young, bumbling virtue. His work, his devotion, his absolute loyalty – they acknowledged none of his offerings, his sacrifices. They refused to listen. Instead, the light was cruelly ripped out of him.

For a brief second, he was not sure if the scream was coming from his bleeding throat (it was). The next second came the crashing pain: in his delirious state, he was uncertain if he’d been disembowelled and eviscerated in the process (technically, his organs were physically fine, but the light was rooted in every cell of his, and the extrication was... far from gentle).

He woke with a hollow feeling in hell. He supposed they had tossed him there to save the trip. Alone. Isolated. Still hurt. How unfair to make him go on like this.

At that moment, a part of him realized that he did not matter to them. They did not love him. They only loved his work, his devotion, his loyalty. Like a dog. He shook himself and refrained. He could not possibly entertain the thought if he wished to go on. He was given an opportunity to prove himself, and he must rise once more to earn back their respect (because it was the only thing he knew). So if he cannot fill the emptiness from the light with love, he supposes hatred will do just fine.

He gazed upward and absolutely did not think about how he found more comfort in the familiar darkness of hell than the cold marbled floors of heaven.

He had work to do.

#ultrakill #gabriel ultrakill #PRONOUNS #wooooooo #az thoughts #genderless angel my beloved #yea this was rough bc I wanna get this out asap #this is a fun one tho #very much parallel to lgbtq+ kids realizing their parents only wanted an ideal image of them:’)

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gyubby99 · 7 months

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@disneyanddisneyships headcanons for mals mom because i

She treats lilly like her own daughter. In hell when she feels like Aponi is not included enough in mother daughter bonding with mal, she makes sure she joins as well because she knew exactly what kind of mother deborah was

Carmellia is just so generous fr. She gives the hotel crew snacks

She never found love again because Mal was enough for her. Literally no one could compare to her own baby. Her hope and lifeline.

She had a chance to go to heaven and redeem herself, but she chose to stay because Mal didn’t wanna leave hell.

Teaches Vox how to cook because all he probably knows is to make cereals and sandwiches

every time Mallory (when she was little) would come home to Japan Carmellia always checked her body for bruises to make sure. Whenever she bathes her she would always check and make sure nothing is getting covered up.

the mom aponi wished deborah was fr. She’s such a great parent it was a shame James had more power over her.

like she would not just check on Mal but on Aponi as well.

this means she does not threaten only Vox iyk what i mean

But with her gentleness comes with a “stern asian mother who would throw sandal”

only she can call mal “Mallory”

”the right person isn’t something you find.. it’s something that finds you.. all of a sudden.. without warning. It’s not a necessity that you need to have to survive.. It’s more of a luxury. We all long for pretty jewels but not having them doesn’t make us worthless now, does it?” Carmellia says, comforting a heartbroken aponi in hamilton au getting cheated on

no like fr James probably cheated on her with even more women. Al was the lesser of two evils

so she gets it and she understands.

like.. instead of aponi thinking “it’s easy for them to say because they’re in a happy relationship (Mal for example)” she thinks she’s speaking facts

babysat emma obvi

Okay while Ma was a great mom she still needed help and I guess Emma just really likes her grandma

Carmellia: “oh, there’s two of you now.” *she says to Mal seeing how hyper toddler Emma was*

While I love aponi killing James I think his ex wife fucking him up slays

Like lils babe save some for a very much vengeful mother who would fuck someone up with a sandal and a knife

OH SHE DEFINITELY LOOKS OUT FOR OTHERS OUTSIDE OF THE HOTEL

SHE LOVES CORDELIA

She makes sushi VERY loudly when Chaz is around, looking straight into his eyes

so I guess mal is her mother’s daughter

One time Carmellia was like “Oh, I wanna watch my daughter perform!” And when she actually saw her perform, half the time she was like “🫣”

Also Roxxie!! She’s very supportive of her! Aponi’s friends are important to her as well because she’s basically been a daughter to her.

she’s kinda scary asf tho because how can someone that nice be able to survive hell for years hmmmm

Vox wondered that aloud and told Mal they were VERY alike

Mal: it’s almost like she’s my mom

Vox is like “im a powerful overlord yet here I am in a fucking apron with my wife’s mom and I am TERRIFIED”

Aside from all the “protective mom who threatens boyfriend” stuff her and Vox got along well

and ofcourse, Carmellia showing Mal baby pictures to him.

Mal: MOM NO—

how did she get them, you say? *I.M.P jingle plays in the background*

Aponi: ..why do you care so much about me? I’m only your daughter’s best friend.

Carmellia: That doesn’t mean I should care less..

basically she had everyone with mommy issues wrapped around her finger

hell, even Alastor likes her

#Basically i want what mal has #mallory #**oc lore**

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thetinyblossom · 8 months

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ੈ✩‧₊˚ All is well ੈ✩‧₊˚

🌙Content🌙

-Hurt/comfort + reassurance

-Vox Machina (Crit Role campaign 1)

-Regressor Scanlan Shorthalt/Caregiver Pike Trickfoot

🌙AO3 Link🌙

Scanlan is a bit… bad at dealing with his emotions, this is a known fact to his group, he is the “funny guy”, the “flirty bard”, that’s his personality, well… at least part of it.

He is also caring and emotional, a father, a husband and a good friend. All those facades of Scanlan are loved by his group of friends, by his love, Pike, but, everybody has their secrets, including the bard.

Growing up, he found a little side of him that he felt ashamed, his age regression (gods he didn’t even know that it had a name!) is a topic he avoids talking about as much as possible, it does feel lonely, but when Pike brought it up, as she was explaining to the group about Grog's own regression, it dawned on him… He himself regresses

“No, no, no, it’s just some stupid feelings”

He thought to himself, but the more time went by harder was to ignore those feelings. Everybody has so supportive of Grog, would they be also supportive with him? Would Pike still love him?

“That’s silly Scanlan, grow up”

“Grow up” and he pushed those thoughts way, he accepts being a caregiver, he enjoys being able to take care of his friends but, when it comes to him, he just ignores as much as possible.

That’s his secret… well… it was a secret, until today.

He had an awful day and he can’t shake off the feeling of being a little boy, wanting comfort and to have a pacifier in his mouth, of warm hugs and being held, being the one getting comfort instead of always comforting….but he felt so ashamed, so vulnerable… but he has no energy to fight those feelings of shame for long, he toss and turns on his and Pike’s bed.

Restless.

He feels useless, he can’t help but hug a pillow and suck his thumb, looking for some comfort as he softly cries.

Pike softly wakes up at wearing his soft sobs

-Scanlan? Dear? Is something wrong?

She asks a bit sleepily, not sure if he is awake or having a nightmare. Her sweet voice brings some comfort to Scanlan, who looks at his lover, his face tear-stained, and can only mumble a bit as he wipes away some tears that keep pouring

-Pike… you know that… that thing? That regression that happens to Grog? Yeah… that’s it and I just… can’t help it

-Oh Scanlan dear

Pike coos him, her tone so soft and caring

-It’s ok, I understand, come here, my love

She pats her lap for him to rest his head on it, the bard does so and clings onto the cleric’s soft and motherly touch

-It’s ok, shhh, you’re alright, mama is here ok? Let me take care of you my sweetheart

Pikes words are exactly what he needed to hear, he hugs her and she embraces him, holding him close to her…

…So comforting, so soothing, like heaven…

Pike cradles her little boy, softly humming and singing a lullaby, making sure Scanlan is comfortable and feeling safe

His tears cease, he feels at ease, suckling on his thumb as he hears Pike’s comforting words and sweet melodies, he feels like baby…. Her baby

And all it’s safe

All it’s well

The night is like a mantle, safely holding him and his dearest love, his dearest cleric, his dearest mama

Soon they fall asleep, cuddling

And all is safe

All is well

All is perfect…

-Goodnight, little one

-Goodnight, mama

…So perfect

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notthatitmatters9897 · 1 month

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I don’t really know what to say to you. No matter what I say or don’t say it’s an attack anyways so I guess there’s nothing to lose by speaking my mind. I doubt you’ll ever read it anyways.

You told me I don’t get to ‘swoop in & act like I suddenly care about you’ tonight. As if us being at odds was ever my choice. You’ve lost so many people closest to you and you can never put your finger on the ‘why’. Well, I can tell you why. You have been angry since you were a little boy. And you never healed; granted you never actually tried to. So you’re still the angry little boy, you haven’t changed at all. You’re still mad at dad for loving our step mom & wanting her to be his beneficiary, you’re still angry at our mom for not being supportive enough of you, you’re angry at me because you can’t face the shame of how you’ve tried to hurt me and deface my reputation to friends & family. You are just angry, you cling to it, it’s part of your personality now. The martyrdom I can only imagine. The constant black sheep behavior, reminding everyone around you that they need to tip toe around you in order to have a space in your life, and heaven forbid they ever called you out- because then they would have to deal with your wrath. “Drink my piss” you told me tonight. Because I was worried about you. Because I confided in our parents about it. Angry, angry little boy. Your hatred taints you, your hatred has pushed the people who love you the most away.

You tell everyone how alone you feel, you drink, you do coke, you rely on your therapist to tell you that what you’re doing is ok. But when someone has a complaint or a concern, you lash out with such malicious undertones that it genuinely scares me to think of how you will one day boil over and hurt someone/something else. But none of that matters, because I won’t speak another word about you to anyone. It’s not worth the price I’ve paid to care about you. You are an incredibly expensive person to care about. You are a black hole, nothing I have ever invested in you has ever been returned to me. I have swallowed so much pride to make our family feel comfortable- you included- when it was never my job to. You’re so focused on how others perceive you when you have zero control over it, yet you make such a mess of your reputation despite it all. You are reckless and you don’t value the ones who care for you. Yet you wonder why you don’t have friends anymore. It kinda makes me laugh actually when I think about how you have dedicated so much hatred toward me, how I’m one of the least deserving of it, considering I haven’t done anything to genuinely harm you or your job. That was you who did unto me. But who’s counting? (You are)

Our parents will always protect you no matter the cost. So you can have em. Enjoy.

I don’t really want to be apart of this family anymore anyways. Every single one of yall is toxic anyway. Alec is the only one who I trust & care about anymore. The generations of dismissal and avoidance ends with me. You can carry on your path knowing good & well it will all catch up to you anyways. I don’t need to tell you that. You’ve been running from your own karma for years. And despite life already kicking your ass left and right you continue to ignore the lesson.

All is well, though. You want to know why? Because I’m surrounded by people who give a fuck about me, and instead of making myself the victim and the martyr I just accept things that come to me as they are. I don’t ask ‘why me’ or try to control or threaten those who don’t perceive me the way I want them to. I have friends, I have a job that cares about me, I have a community that has allowed a million connections for me to access if I ever needed. I have never worried anyone about my actions. I have never drank so heavily & drove my car to get a DUI (that was you) the only friends I have lost have been at MY discernment, none of my friends have given up on me due to my selfishness & lack of self awareness (that was you) I didn’t try to get my brother fired at the job HE got for me (oh yeah, that was you!)

You called me a whore in front of my boyfriend, our aunt & uncle, brother, and your roommate for sleeping with 1 other coworker before I started dating Matt. Yet you’ve slept with multiple coworkers now! One that’s too young to even get a drink with you! You’re doing drugs that you used to mock others about it! You’re the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever met!

You are so incredibly lucky to have a family that gives a shit about you & your alarming behavior despite how awful you’ve treated some of us- yet you punish us when we try to tell you we care, maliciously, and borderline violently. no one is perfect when they react out of fear. We may not being showing you the way you want us to; but it’s all coming from a place of love, you’re just ungrateful as fuck about it. You are the only person I’ve ever met who has intimidated everyone who cares about you into tip toeing around your fragile feelings. So easily angered and your anger is so misdirected. We all know it has nothing to truly do with me, or your ex girlfriends, or your parents, or the friends who’ve died, or your job, or your school. It has 100% everything to do with how much you hate yourself. It’s plain as day to everyone except for you.

& then you wonder why no one wants to tolerate your bullshit anymore. You are exhausting to care for. It’s like you’re screaming for help through your actions and then you bring out your claws & fangs the second someone expresses to you their concerns. Like a cornered animal, really. It all just feels so….. Neanderthal. lol you are so insecure about your own feelings that you beg for attention yet despise those who give it to you. We used to be so close. It’s really nothing but a tremendous shame. But you’re never going to look inward. You’ve turned your trauma into something uglier than it already was. You are the accumulation of your own undiscovered anger and hatred. You ooze it. Your vibration is so unpleasant to so many.

There will be a day that you see things from my perspective (hopefully) by then. I’ll be long gone, living a life that I created for myself out of the amount of love & forgiveness I have devoted to my own life. You will be exactly where i left you, exactly where you’ve been for years. Just an angry, hateful, little boy. Get well soon, bro.

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ultralovedeluxe · 3 years

Note

Hey I love your work! Would you mind doing Rohan with prompts 41 and 43 whenever you can? And maybe nsfw if your comfortable? 👉🏼👈🏼

Have a good day/evening!

Oml I love YOU so much! I'm a big fan of your work so I was nervous when writing this (it's very rushed oml), I hope you enjoy though!

Yandere! Rohan Kishibe with prompts #41 and #43

'I'm all you have left now'

'They didn't know you belonged to me so I had to get rid of them!'

Warnings: yandere behaviors, cheating accusations, manipulation, slut-shaming, inappropriate use of stands, non/dub con, blow-jobs, nsfw

Dating the famous mangaka Kishibe Rohan would be an honor to most people. He's a man of power and fame, who wouldn't want to be with him? The moms who hang out at the park always tell you that you should feel like the luckiest person in the world. They'd tell you that a million girls would kill to be in your shoes.

Although you love Rohan with all your heart (and you should feel deserving of his love), you sometimes start to wonder if dating the great Kishibe Rohan is worth it.

You met Rohan at an art exhibit in France. You had been a model for several pieces in that said exhibit, so obviously you had to come along for the event. Meeting Rohan was a love at first sight. He had asked if you would want to model for him sometime, and you had agreed. Soon after one visit and project, came after another, and then another, until you were working mainly with the mangaka. You can't say you didn't like it though, you enjoyed being in Rohan's presence. He was chivalrous when he wanted to be, and you found his sarcastic nature be quite humorous in fact. You spent so much time with Rohan in fact, you would have considered him a friend. Your relationship with the mangaka was no longer just work related, the both of you had become good friends.

However, the real problem in your friendship with Rohan began to show when your parents were involved. Your parents tolerated Rohan (or at least you thought they did), but they were getting annoyed with the fact the mangaka kept hogging your time. You should be modeling with professional photographers, or modeling for famous designers. But instead you're being used as reference from some manga artist in Japan.

You understood your parent's point of view in the subject, but you enjoyed working with Rohan more than you did any other project you had worked on. You continued to visit Rohan, despite your parent's protests (and Rohan couldn't have been happier).

The more visits that happened, the closer you got to the mangaka. It wasn't long before Rohan had asked you on a date. Eventually multiple dates leaded to the both of you starting a relationship. You knew your parents would hate Rohan even more now, but he didn't seem to mind. He'd always tell you that he didn't care what your parents thought about him, he was content with having you as a partner. Even if your parents did find out about your secret relationship, you highly doubt they would react dramatically. Sure, they'd really, really dislike it, but they wouldn't disown you for it. After all you were a grown adult, you should be able to make your own decisions right?

At least that's what you thought. One day, Rohan made an unexpected visit on your front door step. You didn't expect for him to be there, nor did you know how he got your address (considering the fact you lived in a completely different continent), but you didn't think much of it since you thought this could be your chance to properly introduce Rohan to your parents.

The introduction went by smoothly, Rohan was getting along with your parents, and your parents seemed to accept that Rohan was your partner. However, it did seem a bit suspicious that your parent's dislike of Rohan turned into an approval almost in a span of a few minutes. They had even agreed to let you move out with Rohan. While you could admit that you and Rohan had been planning to live in Morioh-Cho together, you didn't think it'd happen instantly. And that your parents would agree nonetheless. Regardless, you and Rohan accepted your parent's blessing's and left France.

You vividly remembered on your plane flight to Morioh-Cho, Rohan had whispered in your ear while stroking your hair softly, "You must be lucky to have me right [first]? I'm all you have left now.."

Life in Morioh-Cho was sweet to say the least. It was a drastic change from living in a fashion capital of the world, to a small quiet place where there was much to do. Nevertheless, you truly enjoyed your new life, it was better than going to photoshoots every week. Speaking of which, you never do photoshoots anymore. Rohan convinced you to quit your job as a model (since he is wealthy enough to provide for the both of you anyway), and you had agreed. Though, every time you mentioned getting a job to Rohan, he'd simply call you an idiot for wanting to work. He'd ask you if he needed step up his game for you, and you'd only close your mouth in the conversation.

Your relationship with Rohan was a drastic change too. From what was sweet, humble dates every weekend, went to being locked in a home for what was everyday. Rohan would spend hours in his art studio, drawing multiple pages for his manga. He'd tell you to not go out while he was working. But even then, that's most of the time.

You'd be lying if you didn't find this type of behavior weird.

"I'm leaving to go visit Italy for a couple of days [first]. Do you remember the rules?"

You nodded and kissed Rohan's cheek before handing him his suitcase. "Don't go outside unless we run out of groceries, don't let people inside-" Rohan cut you off "Especially those idiots Josuke and Okuyasu" he said scoffing at his distaste for the boys. You only sighed in response, "Especially Josuke and Okuyasu. Hope you have a good trip love" you smiled holding his hands close to your chest. Rohan kissed your lips softly and mumbled a quick 'goodbye' before leaving your shared home. You sighed and walked into the kitchen, before sitting down on a chair. You respected his rules, and you didn't want to lie to him, but you were bored out of your mind. You wanted to go out and have fun. Not to mention, although you know that Rohan could buy you whatever you wanted; but you wanted to have some money of your own. You can't rely on Rohan forever. You had decided that tomorrow you'd start looking for a job (any job, part-time even, you just wanted some type of job to keep you entertained for a while). Rohan would get mad sure, but you promised you'd discuss when he'd come back. You were sure he'd support you

You were sure of it.

Looking for a job was harder than you thought. It seemed that nobody wanted to hire somebody who only had 'model' on their resume. Sometimes you'd wish you had taken on other jobs other than modeling, maybe then people would hire you. Regardless, you kept looking, desperate to find a job somewhere.

In the end, you ended up finding an Italian restaurant after hours of searching. You stepped in and was greeted a tall, blonde Italian man. "Hello good afternoon my name is Tonio, welcome to my restuarant" he greeted you while smiling at you sweetly. You smiled awkwardly and muttered a quick 'thank you', "Um Tonio san, I'm not here to eat..but I'd like to ask you if you are hiring. I can't cook, but I can be a waitress!-" you exclaimed, leaving Tonio in a small shock. He looked at you up and down before smiling at you once again, "Well I don't usually hire people since I'm doing good on my own, but I guess a little help wouldn't hurt.." he told you. You smiled back and hugged him, "Oh thank you so much! You don't know how much I struggled finding a job today-" you let him go, "Uhm, sorry.." you mumbled. He chuckled and led you to a table.

The two of you talked a bit for a while, you told hima bout your modeling career and your relationships, while he told you about his journey to Japan and Italian cuisine. You both shared laughs and stories together, you had a good time. Your time with Tonio became even better when he officially had hired you as a waitress! You were happy, and you couldn't wait to tell Rohan when he got home!

"Well I'll see you next week Tonio!" you shouted as you left the door, carrying the bouquet of daisies Tonio had gifted you. Tonio smiled, "I'll see you then bambina!".

You arrive a little later than planned (guess you spent too much time talking to Tonio), but you finally made it home safe and sound. You might as well start cleaning, since you weren't going to sleep any time soon. As you opened the door, you were met face to face with Rohan. You dropped your daises on the floor, and began to think of all the apologies and excuses you could think of. But it was no use, excuses would only make Rohan's anger boil even more.

Why was he even here in the first place? Wasn't he supposed to be in Italy by now?!

"Rohan I-"

"Save it, I don't want to hear a word from you" Rohan growled angrily before walking towards you. He had pulled out a pen and you felt as if you passed out.

Rohan had used Heaven's Door to read the pages of your life. He looked for the information of today, and when he did, he was fuming. He read his newly learned information out loud, gripping onto your hair in the process, "This man named Tonio is so handsome, and he cooks too.. I feel like this skirt is a bit risqué, but oh well.." with that last sentence Rohan had the last straw. He removed his stand's effect on you, but not before writing a few things.

Once the effects of Heaven's Door were gone, you began to feel a heat between your legs. Noticing you were on your knees, you crawled your way to Rohan, "Rohann, feel so hot need you.." you mewled out. Rohan was furious with your previous behavior, but maybe this would help you learn a few things. "So you were tempted to cheat on me right? I bet you would’ve enjoyed if that Tonio flipped your skirt right?" he said slapping your face in the process. You whimpered, "No no no no, that's not true..please need you. Need you so bad" you were starting to tear up just by him insinuating you were going to cheat on him. Rohan looked down at you, gods you looked so pathetic, just like he wanted you to look like.

"Such a fucking slut" he said unbuckling his pants, eager to have your warm and needy mouth all around his cock. Once he finished doing that he looked at you dead in the eye, "Suck. Suck like the whore you are. Aren't you ashamed [first]? I bet you also sucked Tonio’s cock in that job interview right?” He said watching you as you sloppily sucked his cock. You probably aren’t even thinking right now, your just hungry for his cock right? Such a little slut. “And to think your parents didn’t like me. They just didn’t know you belonged to me. But that’s fine I had to get rid of them regardless..” he chuckled before he bucked his hips into your mouth repeatedly.

Rohan grabs you by the hair and begins to push your head down his member, sinking your mouth down to his pubes; much to your displeasure. At the moment however he didn’t care what you felt, sluts like you don’t mind right? He continued to do so for a few more seconds before he came in your mouth, groaning loudly. He came inside your mouth, and there was so much of it you couldn’t help but to cough some out.

You laid your head on his lap and breathed out softly, before Rohan lifted your chin up and grinned,

“Who said we were done?”

Dating the great Kishibe Rohan would be an honor to most people. Who wouldn’t want to be by his side. Unfortunately for you, dating Kishibe Rohan was not a glitter and sparkles.

Being Kishibe Rohan��s personal cum dump isn’t much better either.

#yandere imagines #yandere x reader #yandere jjba #yandere rohan kishibe #yandere rohan x reader #yandere jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba imagines #rohan kishibe #jojo no kimym na bmken #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo x reader #yandere rohan

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theartofdreaming1 · 3 years

Photo

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 25-27 are below the cut.

heart

The imagery that really caught my attention this time was Peeta pointing out the changes in the moon to Katniss: The only indication of the passage of time lies in the heavens, the subtle shift of the moon. So Peeta begins pointing it out to me, insisting I acknowledge its progress and sometimes, for just a moment I feel a flicker of hope before the agony of the night engulfs me again. - So for one, we see another example of Peeta focusing on the small details in life (which I’ve previously hypothesized to being an important element in his recovery from his hijacking) as well as Peeta being the one to give Katniss hope, even if it’s just for a brief moment. Also, it’s a nice parallel to Katniss looking at the moon and desperately wishing for it to be “her moon” back in chapter 23. As a nocturnal person, I also love watching the moon from my living room window🌙

mind

Hmmh, I don’t think that Katniss and Peeta’s win was predetermined - although I do believe that by introducing the romantic angle, they significantly improved their odds. A Career winning the Games is not really that special and exciting, since it happens so often (although Careers generally satisfy that excitement for violence/blood/gore, that plenty of Capitol people seem to share). As a volunteer from District 12, who achieved an extremely good training score and proved herself to be very capable in the arena already, Katniss definitely had an edge by playing into the classic underdog story, which offered another exciting “narrative” for the Capitolites to follow - that, coupled (heh) with the romance angle Peeta introduced? Katniss (and Peeta) definitely had the entertainment (and excitement through novelty) factor on their side. Ironically, Cato’s chances of winning were not as good as he expected, precisely because he was playing it by the book.

soul

Poor Peeta (and Katniss), it hurts that their relationship was in such a rocky place by the end of the book. Especially those weeks right after the end of Book 1, when there were still cameras around District 12 and they had to pretend while hurting must have sucked big time🥺

Chapter 25

Ugh, the muttations are just so unsettling... *shudder*

Honestly, I’m just so impressed by Peeta’s presence of mind to draw that X on Cato’s hand, after he had just most of his calf ripped off, only to be grabbed and put in a headlock by Cato! He and Katniss work insanely well under pressure

God, Cato’s death is just so gruesome and awful... In the end, his “gift” from the Feast doesn’t help him win at all, but instead ends up prolonging his suffering a cruel amount... I wonder if in general these “gifts” come with a string attached (aside from the expected danger of trying to get them, I mean) - because the Gamemakers also intend for Katniss’s “gift” (medicine for Peeta) to force an even more cruel outcome on her - saving him from blood poisoning only to be forced into killing him herself... 🤔

I’m not sure if this is exactly medical protocol, but I’m terrified that if he drifts off he’ll never wake again. “Are you cold?” he asks. He unzips his jacket and I press against him as he fastens it around me. - Katniss is terrified of the idea of Peeta dying; at the same time, Peeta worries about her freezing - I can’t with these two 😩

Peeta begins to doze off now, and each time he does, I find myself yelling his name louder and louder because if he goes and dies on me now, I know I’ll go completely insane. He’s fighting it, probably more for me than for him - Katniss can’t lose any more people she cares about 😢; on a different note, Peeta fighting his unconsciousness “probably more for [Katniss] than for him” points out one of the crucial elements Katniss brings into Peeta’s life - she is that someone for whom he will fight - including for his own life and well-being - even when it feels easier to give up... Having that person in your life that keeps you going can make all the difference - if Katniss hadn’t had Prim and promised her “to really, really try” to win (and later also made Rue the same promise), I’m not sure she would have made it this far; it’s the thought of Prim anxiously watching her after Rue’s death, that forces Katniss to keep going, to not give in to despair after that particular traumatic event - Peeta, on the other hand, didn’t really have that kind of person in his life, as he will point out on the beach in CF (and Katniss acknowledges herself that the only person who will be devasted if Peeta dies is her)... that is not to say that neither Katniss nor Peeta aren’t fighters on their own - but it helps to have someone that inspires you to not give up

the adrenaline pumping through my body would never allow me to follow him, so I can’t let him go. I just can’t. - We’ll see the mirrored version of this by the end of Mockinjay

Pity, not vengeance, sends my arrow flying into [Cato’s] skull. - Another act of rebellion, technically (sure, this can be spun as Katniss killing Cato so she and Peeta may win - before Peeta dies from blood loss - but we know better - Katniss’s motivation was compassion for her supposed enemy)

We inch down to the tail of the horn and fall to the ground. If the stiffness in my limbs is this bad, how can Peeta even move? - Peeta is tough as nails, yo!

Before I am even aware of my actions, my bow is loaded with the arrow pointed straight at his heart [...] I drop my weapons and take a step back, my face burning in what can only be shame. “No,” he says. “Do it.” [...] “I can’t,” I say, “I won’t.” - In spite of her initial reflex, Katniss chooses Peeta/ chooses not to kill him; it’s a recurring theme in their relationship (despite her wariness of others, she chooses to open up to Peeta eventually; although she vowed to never marry and have children, she’ll choose to have a family with Peeta); also, my psychology-brain just noticed how this moment illustrates how harmful thoughts/impulses don’t have to determine your actions and are not an indicator of who you are - it’s about what you choose to do

“You’re not leaving me here alone,” I say. Because if he dies, I’ll never go home, not really. I’ll spend the rest of my life in this areny trying to think my way out. - Again, makes me think of MJ; also, I think that from this point onwards, Katniss and Peeta are officially linked together forever; the bond they forged during this traumatic experience will connect them to each other until the day they die

“On the count of three?” Peeta leans down and kisses me once, very gently. “The count of three,” he says. - My heart😭

Chapter 26

... while our muscles are immobile, nothing is preventing the blood from draining out of Peeta’s leg. Sure enough, the minute the door closes behind us and the current stops, he slumps to the floor unconscious [...] Through the glass, I see the doctors working feverishly on Peeta, their brows creased in concentration [...] I’m not sure, but I think his heart stops twice. - Peeta was in such a bad shape by the end of the Games; I’m still kinda salty that the movie really glossed over this fact :/

... they’re taking Peeta but leaving me behind the door. I start hurling myself against the glass, shrieking and I think I just catch a glimpse of pink hair - it must be Effie, it has to be Effie coming to my rescue - when the needle jabs me from behind. - Oh geez, in Catching Fire Katniss will also get sedated in a hovercraft because she’s upset about being separated from Peeta 😢 (also, Katniss thinking that Effie is coming to her rescue 😭)

While she [Lavinia, the avox] adjusts my pillows, I risk one question. I say it out loud, as clearly as my rusty voice will allow, so nothing will seem secretive. “Did Peeta make it?” She gives me a nod, and as she slips a spoon into my hand, I feel the pressure of friendship. - Katniss is so considerate of Lavinia’s situation, and Lavinia’s giving her a gesture of comfort and support; they’ve never been able to have a proper conversation (Katniss doesn’t even know Lavinia’s name), but still they managed to build up such a bond - compassion certainly is a strong thing to behold 😭 (and this whole scene is just through and through about compassion, with Katniss asking how Peeta is doing!)

Home! Prim and my mother! Gale! Even the thought of Prim’s scruffy old cat makes me smile. Soon I will be home! - Katniss is so excited to see her home and her loved ones again

I want to get out of this bed. To see Peeta and Cinna - Aww, the two people she grew closest to over the course of the past weeks (Haymitch will be added to that list in just a smidge)

Or do I hear a man’s voice yelling? Not in the Capitol accent, but in the rougher cadences of home. And I can’t help having a vague, comforting feeling that someone is looking out for me. - Thank God for Haymitch!

And behind one of them [doors] must be Peeta. Now that I’m conscious and moving, I’m growing more and more anxious about him [...] “Peeta!” I call out, since there’s no one to ask - Katniss is sick with worry over Peeta; romantic feelings or not, she cares so fricking much for him by now!

I run for them [Effie, Haymitch, and Cinna] and surprise even myself when I launch into Haymitch’s arms first. When he whispers in my ear, “Nice job, sweetheart,” it doesn’t sound sarcastic. - These reunion scenes are so intense and heartwarming! And then Katniss asks about Portia and Peeta because their presence would make this scene complete

when I asks for seconds, I’m refused. “No, no, no. They don’t want it all coming back up on the stage,” says Octavia, but she secretly slips me an extra roll under the table to let me know she’s on my side - It’s moments like these that help humanize Katniss’s prep team - they might be shallow, they might be completely oblivious and ignorant, but they aren’t that bad [of course, the prep team chattering about their mundane lives while talking about the event that ended with the deaths of 22 children shortly after, leaves a bad taste in our mouths]

I immediately notice the padding over my breasts, adding curves that hunger has stolen from my body. My hands go to my chest and I frown. “I know,” says Cinna before I can object. “But the Gamemakers wanted to alter you surgically. Haymitch had a huge fight with them over it. This was the compromise.” - God, the idea that the Gamemakers wanted to give a boob job to an unconscious, malnourished 16-year-old girl makes me sick 🤢 (Also, what’s the flipping deal about boobs?! As a pretty flat-chested gal, I’ve always been annoyed that there are barely any bras my cup size that are not push-up ones; I’m not self-conscious about it, so stop making me pretend that I’m bustier than I actually am!)

“I thought it’d be something more... sophisticated-looking,” I say. “I thought Peeta would like this better,” he [Cinna] answers carefully. Peeta? No, it’s not about Peeta. It’s about the Capitol and the Gamemakers and the audience. Although I do not yet understand Cinna’s design, it’s a reminder the Games are not quite finished. - Ugh, that sinking feeling when Katniss and the reader realize that the Games are still not over... Sidenote: Peeta flirted up a storm with grimy, bloodied Katniss and complimented her when she wore Cinna’s first, absolutely badass costume (”You should wear flames more often”)... Katniss’s girlish outfit has nothing to do with Peeta and she knows it... Cinna could have dressed Katniss up in a trash bag and Peeta would have been smitten - although a trash bag by Cinna would probably still look pretty good ;)

“How about a hug for luck?” Okay, that’s an odd request from Haymitch but, after all we are victors. Maybe a hug for luck is in order. - Aww, Katniss actually wouldn’t have minded giving Haymitch a hug just because - sadly, this is about survival tips instead :/

But what was it Haymitch said when I asked it he had told Peeta the situation? That he had to pretend to be desperately in love? “Don’t have to. He’s already there.” Already thinking ahead of me in the Games again and well aware of the danger we’re in? Or... already desperately in love? I don’t know. I haven’t even begun to separate out my feelings about Peeta. It’s too complicated. - Poor Katniss... she didn’t have the time and peace of mind to sort out her feelings regarding Peeta before they all got tied up and muddled with her need for survival. Now she’ll be having an even harder time trying to untangle that mess :(

Chapter 27

Then there’s Peeta just a few yards away. He looks so clean and healthy and beautiful, I can hardly recognize him. But his smile is the same whether in mud or in the Capitol and when I see it, I take about three steps and fling myself into his arms [...] He rights himself and we just cling to each other while the audience goes insane. He’s kissing me and all the time I’m thinking, Do you know? Do you know how much danger we’re in? After about ten minutes of this, Caesar Flickerman taps on his choulder to continue the show, and Peeta just pushes him aside without even glancing at him. - Man, their reunion here always gets me - it would be so fricking good if Katniss didn’t have to worry about their potential doom 😒😔 - she barely has time to just be happy to see Peeta alive and well before slipping back into survival mode while Peeta is just genuinely thrilled to have her in his arms, completely unaware of the pressure and immediate danger Katniss experiences in this moment... It hurts so bad

I’m with Katniss - How did the previous victors endure rewatching those horrible moments from the Games?! I guess because they had to, but oof... I think I’d just completely shut down, blocking out the footage shown, ugh

But I do notice they omit the part where I covered her [Rue] in flowers. Right. Because even that smacks of rebellion. - In such a callous and cruel place as Panem, any act of compassion can be regarded as rebellion, it’s crazy. In a place filled with apathy, hedonism, greed, and cruelty, the most radical things you can exhibit are love, kindness, and respect!

A wave of gratitude to the filmmakers sweeps over me when they end not with the announcement of our victory, but with me pounding on the glass door of the hovercraft, screaming Peeta’s name as they try to revive him. In terms of survival, it’s my best moment all night. - Again, another instance where Katniss’s genuine feelings/reactions to Peeta are get muddled with her need for survival

The one thing I never do is let go of Peeta’s hand. - irrevocably linked with each other

Despite Haymitch’s running interference, I’m determined to see Peeta privately. - Katniss just wants to have an honest and open talk with Peeta 😢 (I get where Haymitch is coming from, and maybe in this instance it’s the right call, but we’ll see a similar situation in the beginning of CF when Haymitch advises Katniss not to tell Peeta about President Snow’s visit and that time, it doesn’t go so well...)

Then Peeta’s there looking handsome in red and white - for someone who isn’t sure whether she’s into him or not, Katniss sure mentions how good Peeta’s looking a lot 😏

“Well, there’s just this and we go home. Then he can’t watch us all the time,” says Peeta. - 👀👀 Peeta is so thirsty here; reminds me of when he pulled Katniss close to him in the cave before they set out to hunt... He clearly believes she’s also “already there” regarding their relationship; he’s never this “suggestive” (can’t think of a better word right now) with her once she lets him know that she doesn’t really know how she feels about him - I feel a sort of shiver run through me and there’s no time to analyze why - Katniss totally isn’t averse to what Peeta’s suggesting here, either (though there’s probably also a healthy amount of fear mixed in with the thrill of being wanted - letting people in can be terrifying)

I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks, “So now that you’ve got me, what are you going to do with me?” I turn in to him. “Put you somewhere you can’t get hurt.” And when he kisses me, people in the room actually sigh. - It’s me; I’m people 🙋🏼‍♀️ (also, the “turn in to him”?!?!! it just suggests such a closeness, I can’t-)

Katniss burying her face in Peeta’s shirt when she’s afraid she might cry learning that he lost his leg 🥺 (how awful it must be to be constantly on display while you’re dealing with your private feelings, ugh)

“... The moment when you pulled out those berries. What was going on in your mind... hm?” [...] It seems to call for a big, dramatic speech, but all I get out is one almost inaudible sentences. “I don’t know, I just... couldn’t bear the thought of... being without him.” - It might not be a super eloquent way to put what she was supposed to say, but this way, Katniss is being perfectly honest (and frankly, if she’d had the chance to properly process her feelings, she would have been able to voice this sentiment with less hesitation)

I go back to my room to collect a few things and find there’s nothing to take but the mockingjay pin Madge gave me. Someone returned it to my room after the Games. - For one, Katniss didn’t think of that pin (again), but also - was the pin returned to her simply because it’s standard procedure or did someone (like Plutarch, for example) arrange for Katniss to get the pin back, to keep her connection to this symbol going?

I stare in the mirror as I try to remember who I am and who I am not. - Poor Katniss! She’s been through so much, experienced so many traumatic events in short succession recently (aside from the trauma she already had), already had problems defining her identity beyond sheer survival, and now the Capitol also keeps pushing an identity onto her and a romantic relationship, when she hadn’t even had the chance to figure out how she felt about that yet

“... Haymitch has been coaching me through the last few days. So I didn’t make it worse,” I say. “Coaching you? But not me,” says Peeta. “He knew you were smart enough to get it right,” I say. “I didn’t know there was anything to get right,” says Peeta. - Oh boy. It’s always so painful to see Peeta realize that he’s been completely out of the loop; again, we’ll see how Katniss and Haymitch adopt a similar strategy in the beginning of CF: banking on Peeta’s good social skills and eloquence and keeping him in the dark. In a way, it’s a sort of compliment they pay to Peeta for being good with people, but, by not telling him, they are also using him for their purpose (which is motivated by caring for and wanting to protect Peeta, but still). Peeta is right to be upset about it - he has always been very clear about not wanting to be used as a piece in anyone’s games, really. And, as we will see later in CF, they are way more effective as a team when they are open and honest with each other.

“It was all for the Games,” Peeta says. “How you acted.” “Not all of it,” I say, tightly holding on to my flowers. “Then how much? No, forget that. I guess the real question is what’s going to be left when we get home?” he says. “I don’t know. The closer we get to District Twelve, the more confused I get,” I say. He waits, for further explanation, but none’s forthcoming. “Well, let me know when you work it out,” he says, and the pain in his voice is palpable. - It’s just so goddamn painful😢 They’ve both been done so dirty by that forced star-crossed lovers of Distrct 12 routine. (Sidenote: I appreciate that Peeta actually gives Katniss the chance to explain herself here - still, it’s too much to deal with on the spot so I can understand why Katniss ended up dropping the ball, even though it’s frustrating to read.)

That it’s not good loving me because I’m never going to get married anyway and he’d just end up hating me later instead of sooner. That if I do have feelings for him, it doesn’t matter because I’ll never be able to afford the kind of love that leads to a family, to children. And how can he? How can he after what we’ve just been through? - Oh Katniss, you certainly are skipping a couple of steps here; I’m pretty sure there are some options in between dating and being married with kids you could look into. Also, she’s just assuming that this is what Peeta wants, but she doesn’t know that at all - As someone who also has this stupid habit of imagining how whole conversations could possibly transpire and then resigning myself to the hypothetical outcome of said imagined conversation instead of actually having them: Don’t do that. ‘Never assume - it makes an ASS out of U and ME.’

I see Peeta extend his hand. I look at him, unsure. “One more time? For the audience?” he says. His voice isn’ t angry. It’s hollow, which is worse. Already the boy with the bread is slipping away from me. I take his hand, holding it tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go. - Ma babies! They are both so hurt and both just want to be with each other 😭 But they’ll need some time apart, to figure things out before they can do that.

#thgagain #thg #hunger games #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #my sketches and drawings #thg meta

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tastyykpop · 3 years

Text

𝐶𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒-Part 1

Pairings: yandere mafia leader!baekhyun x reader

Genre: suggestive, smut in later chapters, angst probs, fluff here and there but its very lowkey

《teaser next》

Warnings: kidnapping, drug use, alcohol consumption, baeks kinda crazy, pet names, master kink, spanking (he literally spanks her once), choking (not in a kinky way), mentions of blood and murder

Word count: 4.9k

Tag list: @wooya1224 @geniusloey tell me if you want to be tagged!!

⚠️ this is purely fictional and not how I imagine baekhyun to actually act. If you feel like you're in a situation like this please run and report it. I do not support this behavior.

How long has it been? 3 or 5 days? Maybe even a week. You didnt know nor did you care. But why would you? You've gave up caring ever since your boyfriend, Sungho was murdered right in front of you, but you couldn't even see who the murderer was which drove you insane.

Tears and blood stained your pretty skin that night, so much agony and rage ran through your veins. All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and scream until you passed out. But its been days since you've gotten a proper good night's sleep and it was eating you away ever so slowly. Everytime you closed your eyes, you remembered that dreadful day, Sungho's screams, the terror on his beautiful face, his lifeless bloody body. What did he do to deserve death? Why did it have to be him?

"Y/n! Y/n, its been four days please come out of your room!" It was the familiar voice of your mother and her knocking that brought you back to reality. She was almost begging, she hasn't seen you since you locked yourself away that night so you couldnt blame her for being worried, but you were fine. "I'm coming in."

She pushed your door open to see you cuddling your blanket with no emotion on your face. You looked at her with barely any care and rolled over, facing away from her.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, "You know y/n, we'll get to the bottom of this and have them put behind bars. It's gonna be ok-"

"No its not," you rasped from not using your voice in so long, "I dont even know what the murderer looked like, how can we put them behind bars!?" There was a small pause, she knew finding them wasnt likely which hurt you like hell, but she was still trying her best to comfort you.

"...At least come out of your room, everyone's worried." Your mother pleaded and though you really didnt want to move, you didnt want to upset or worry anyone any further so you got up.

With a smile, she did the same and led you downstairs to where you dad and sister were. They tensed when they saw you, but nonetheless smiled sadly, thanking the heavens you were okay.

"You look horrible..." your sister, Haeun, commented making you cringe. It wasnt like she was wrong, you spent four days not taking a shower and sitting in the same clothes so of course you looked bad, who wouldn't.

You excused yourself and went into the kitchen grabbing the first thing you saw, a bottle of vodka. Now it wasnt the best drink you could've had, but you decided to drink away your pain and suffering since you couldnt take the heart ache any longer.

"Shes doing it again." Your mother whispered but you heard her clear as day. "Shouldnt we stop her?"

"What for? She won't listen and she's traumatized. There's nothing much we could do right now." Your dad spoke with sadness watching as you took a quick swig from the substance.

Normally, you're not one to drink vodka but now it felt good, maybe too good. The more you drank it, the less pain you were in. It could last forever, you thought, but nothing lasts forever.

As you poured yourself another drink, you started wondering about Sungho again. If there were an afterlife, was he happy there? Would he be watching over you, making sure you were happy and healthy?If only it were that simple.

Though you and him were starting to drift off a bit, you still cared and loved him and now you're starting to take everything you guys went through for granted. Its what you get.

Standing up, you left the kitchen a bit dizzy from only drinking alcohol and having nothing else in your system and went back upstairs to take a shower. You decided after drinking, you wanted to go to the club you always go to. Normally, you didnt go on a Thursday, but you thought since you haven't been out in a while that it would be good to leave and breathe in the fresh air.

You took a fairly quick shower and your hair and makeup didnt take long either. Finally stopping to look at yourself in the mirror, your saw how pale and tired you were. Almost lifeless. You figured that once you finally have a good time, it would all go away and you'd be happy again.

"Where are you going?" You jumped at the voice of Haeun who appeared out of nowhere.

"To the club." You stated nonchalantly,

Haeun frowned, "Thats not a good idea, all you'll do is drink until you pass out. And there's always weirdos waiting for their turn with someone vulnerable like that."

A smile formed on your face trying to lighten up the mood a bit, "Ill be fine. I promise nothing bad will happen."

Haeun sighed, almost sounding like a bratty child who didn't get their way because she knew she wouldn't change your mind no matter how hard she tried. It sucked to have a stubborn sibling like yourself.

Sehun rolled his eyes at the sight of Baekhyuns scheduled flirting session. The girl was dressed in barely anything and he could tell she was probably Baekhyuns new toy for the night as he started getting handsy with her. But Sehun could see how Baekhyuns eyes weren't always looking at her. Instead, they sometimes searched passed the girl in hopes to find something else. He knew what, actually who he was searching for so he never asked or mentioned it.

He remembered you perfectly. Your calm and sleeping figure laying peacefully on your boyfriends chest. It was a shame he had to wake you up while he killed the man. And it was a shame to see such a pretty girl cry and scream with such fright in her eyes.

But Sehun didn't feel that bad, he did what he was supposed to do with only a little remorse.

"Sehun," Baekhyun called, the younger lifted his head waiting for him to continue, "Are you sure you didn't hurt my little toy the other day?"

Sehun scoffed, "If I did, I'd be dead by now, hyung."

The man chuckled sadistically , "She hasn't been here in a while," Baekhyun looked up from the girl and turned to Sehun, "Its only safe to ask."

"Hyung, I told you before that shes probably scared." Sehun face palmed when Baekhyun glared at him.

"A little red shouldnt effect someone that bad."

"I kil-" Sehun stopped what he was about to say, forgetting about the girl straddling Baekhyuns lap and cleared his throat, "Shes not used to stuff like that, Baek."

He didn't care about what Sehun said and ignored the youngests pointless blabbering, returning his attention back the girl only for a short amount of time until something caught his attention.

You walked in his club with confidence and beauty not giving any staring man the time of day and took your usual seat at the bar. After ordering your drink, you put your head in your arms and Baekhyun grinned.

Now was his chance, there's no way anyone will get in his way and there was no way he'd let this chance go.

"Stay here." Baekhyun said to Sehun, pushing the girl off him as he stood up. She almost pulled him back but he gave her such a terrifying death glare that made her stop.

"Theres no way youre actually gonna go talk to her...right?" Sehun questioned a bit shocked that Baekhyun was actually going to you after so long.

"Of course I am, I'll be back." With that, Baekhyun walked away from the two with only one thing on his mind: you.

He waltzed with a smirk of pure evil. What would he do? Only God knew, but he couldnt help himself when he saw your pretty face.

All eyes watched Baekhyun stop next to you, astonished that he went to talk to a girl and not the other way around, "Excuse me sweetheart," You popped your head up in the direction Baekhyun spoke, he took a seat next to you with an almost comforting smile when he saw your red cheeks, "But are you okay."

You wanted to spill everything that happened so bad because you needed to get it out, but you didnt know the man and neither did he know you so all you could do was nod, "Im fine."

Baekhyun knew behind your lying eyes was someone in pain and searching for a person to hold, but he couldnt do anything just yet and tried loosening you up to him so he could do what he wanted to do in the first place.

"C'mon sweetheart, you can tell me anything." He smiled that charismatic smile of his, "I'm easy to talk to."

It was believable for the most part and you laughed a bit, the first laugh you actually had since that tragic night, "You seem like a sweet talker," you smirked causing Baekhyun to chuckle, "Whats the catch?"

"There is no catch, I just wanted to know if youre okay. And besides, I could tell you've been crying." He pointed to your tear stained cheeks and you mentally cursed yourself for unintentionally crying just a few moments ago.

"Oh.."

"Dont worry," He chuckled, "Whatever it is im sure you'll get over it." Baekhyun almost failed to hide his sinful smug as you frowned and covered it quickly with a swig of your drink.

But something inside was eating you away about what happened, you needed to let out your emotions and you started caring less and less that he was a stranger. Then again, what if you scared him away? What will happen next?

"At least tell me your name first," You blushed and shyly looked over at him who had an expecting glint in his eyes, "Then maybe ill tell you why I'm so upset."

Baekhyun stretched his hand out in front of him and you gently shook it. Damn he had a strong grip, "My names Byun Baekhyun and you?" He asked as if he didnt know who you were.

"Y/n L/n." You beamed, wondering why his name was so familiar. "So uh- my story..." Fumbling with the drink in your hands, you sighed heavily, "Long story short, my boyfriend was...murdered in front of me." You mumbled the last bit, but you didnt need to repeat yourself as Baekhyun already knew every single detail of that night thanks to Sehun.

Placing a soft hand on your shoulder he whispered with fake sympathy, "I understand now why you're so upset," Liar, "I feel terrible," No he doesn't.

He wiped a stray tear that had slipped down your cheeks and sent you a solemn look.

"I-its in the past i guess." You muttered, "I can't change a thing about it."

Damn right you couldnt. Even if there were some form of time travel, Baekhyun wouldn't dare let you try and change the past because that would mean you weren't entirely his. But since there isn't anything like that, Baekhyun has nothing to worry about except figuring out how to bring you back with him.

"Would you like a glass of water, y/n?" Baekhyun asked quickly as a thought popped into his head. You nodded your head slowly and Baekhyun called over the bartender. You werent really paying attention to him ordering the water and just let your mind slip to the sound of the music and looked around the room, tapping your fingers to the beat, but you stopped when you felt a pair of sharp eyes watching you from somewhere. You looked here and there before stopping on a man that was a about a few inches taller than Baekhyun. He had a eerie grin on his face when you noticed him, then he winked.

Chills went down your spine and you spun yourself around in your chair facing forwards causing Baekhyun to raise an eyebrow but he didnt question it.

"Heres the water." He handed the drink over and you thanked him before taking a sip. It tasted a bit weird but not all water tasted the same, though it was slightly dry for water.

"So tell me about yourself, y/n." Baekhyun checked his watch, all he needed was fifteen minutes then you were all his. "You seem like an interesting person." He looked up and smiled.

"Well," You thought about what was possibly interesting enough to tell him, "Im in my second year of college!" A smile crossed your lips.

"Oh really? Where do you go?" Baekhyun did seem interested to know some parts of your life. Somehow, you caught his attention like that. Thats why Sehun was a surprised when he finally made his move with you.

"Seoul of Performing Arts." You beamed. It was the happiest moment in your life when you got accepted and all of your family members, extended and close, celebrated your acceptance, "My boyfriend, Sungho, went there too."

He just about rolled his eyes but replaced it with a nod and a fake warm smile. If you knew him better, you'd know that smile was only him clenching his jaw in anger.

"How cute." The glint in his eyes proved he was lying and maybe you were too stupid or innocent to notice when you took another sip of water.

He watched and wished his plan could go faster, he was excited to have fun with his pretty little toy and he couldnt wait any longer.

"What about you?" You raised a brow. There was still something in your gut that made you feel like you knew him. And you still wondered why. Was he someone famous in the city? Maybe you've heard your friends mention him here and there? What was it about him that was so familiar?

"You'll know soon enough kitten." You frowned at the pet name as he pat your head like you were a small child yet you chose to ignore it.

It was a bit outlandish and made you more skeptical to know who he was.

"Thats not very reassuring, Baekhyun." Your quirked.

"Why tell you when I can just show you?" He leaned in, mocking your now pouty lips and chuckled, "The drugs should be setting in by now."

You lifted your head up with wide eyes, "Wait what?" Did you hear him right? Did he say what you thought he said? "What do you mean drugs!?" You said with awestruck as your heart raced in fear. You hoped to god he was just joking

The man before you smirked that unpleasant smirk of his, almost like the guy you saw before and you started panicking more, knowing he wasn't kidding. You tried to get up and run but you felt so woozy in a matter of seconds. Not to mention the sudden pain in your stomach that made you want to throw up. What was Baekhyuns plan? Why did he do this!? You thought at least one thing could go right tonight and maybe you could have fun, but you were wrong. So so wrong.

Trying to leave the club building, you knew you wouldn't make it but you still wanted to attempt an escape. It didn't have to be like this. Each step made it harder to move and your eyes started drooping. It was too late for you.

Already collapsed on the ground, people gasped and stared at your almost lifeless body as Baekhyun tilted his head to the side, "She tried, ill give her that." He walked over and crouched down next to you, moving the hair out of your pale face, "But not hard enough."

In an instant, your body was thrown over the man's shoulder. No one commented on anything that happened in fear that they could be next. It was impossible to say that they felt bad either, they were just glad it didn't happen to themselves.

"Sehun," He called out to the younger male but Sehun was already ahead of him, "You drive." He tossed him the keys.

With a nod they both walked out, you on Baekyuns shoulder as he took you to the expensive car. Gently, he placed you down in backseat, putting your seatbelt on for you, and climbed in on the other side to sit next to you.

"All this just for a girl." Sehun shook his head but needless to say he still smirked, "Youre loosing yourself, hyung." The car sparked and drove off into the night, no cops came searching. They knew better. And neither was there news of your kidnapping, the city stayed quiet.

Sure once your parents realized you were gone they'd start freaking out, but would they dare mess with Baekhyun? Would anyone actually try to mess with him? The mafia could easily answer that with an optimistic no. Remember, Baekhyun had power. No one is going to stop him.

"How long will she be out for?" Sehun asked.

Baekhyun shrugged, "Like an hour or two." He was excited for your life with him now, he knew you were finally his after a year of watching you come and go in his club, plus the small stalking he did when he wanted to see you, and he could only smile. No one can get in between him and your love anymore. "Shes gonna love it when she gets home!"

Sehun chuckled at Baekhyuns almost child like enthusiam and started, "She seems a bit innocent," he paused, looking back at your passed out body in the mirror before returning back to the road, "Normally women don't look off into space when someone's buying them a drink."

"Maybe she's a bit slow, but she wouldn't be here with me if that didn't happen."

The candle flickered in the dark as you awoke on a strange bed. You're head was pounding a bit as you tried looking around at your unfamiliar surroundings. What happened? Was your first thought and you started questioning where you were too. You knew something wasn't right but you couldn't understand why.

You tried getting up only to be locked in place by restraints on your wrists. They were only silk but they were tied tight enough to keep you still. Tilting your head in confusion, you heard foot steps coming towards the door and stopping for a mere few seconds before the door handle twisted.

You anticipated what was going to happen, you didnt even know what was going on in the first place, but you remembered the man standing in front of you.

"B-Baekhyun..?"

"Hey, kitten." That sinister smile was plastered on his face. You were sure it held more meanings then just one.

"Where a-am i?"

He almost cooed at your curiosity but composed himself, "At my mansion, where you'll be staying from now on."

There was a moment where you had to think, interestingly enough what Baekhyun said didnt even frighten you in the slightest, but then again you were high off the drug.

"C-Can you u-untie my hands please?" Your voice was soft and quiet, Baekhyun noticed you werent fully aware of your surroundings and complied, untying the silk from your wrists.

Your eyes were a little dilated when you looked at him. He was gorgeous, you had to give him that, though you wanted to remember why something wasn't sitting right with him. "Baekhyun?"

He looked up with a hum.

"Who...are y-you to me?" You squinted your eyes at the man who sat on the bed next to you, drawing small shapes on your thigh in a sort of loving manner.

"Your boyfriend, y/n."

Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?

"I have a boyfriend..?" You muttered and asked more to yourself than to him, but he snickered, knowing way more than you did.

"Kitten you drank too much, go back to sleep." He lied and pushed your shoulders down so you were flat against the mattress.

"I-i did?" You whined when Baekhyun kissed your cheek. He always wanted to kiss more than your cheek, he couldnt bring himself to do that unless you were fully conscious for him.

"Yes baby girl, so get some sleep."

You grumbled, "I-Im not t-tired."

Baekhyun sighed, "Then what would the pretty girl like to do?"

You perked up on the mattress and grinned, "Im hungry!"

"Youre hungry?" Baekhyun repeated with a smile at your small childlike energy and you nodded back, "I can ask someone to make you something if you'd like."

"Please!"

He stood up, waiting for you to do the same but since you weren't very awake, you stumbled a bit.

Baekhyun settled with carrying you to the mansions kitchen, awing at your cuteness the whole time. It was a bit of a walk but luckily you were light.

Sitting you down, Baekhyun walked off, finding someone to cook for you. In your state, you felt a bit lonely, only knowing Baekhyun and not your surroundings, it made you feel a bit lost. It shocked you too how you didnt remember Baekhyun being your boyfriend, you started question the relationship between the two of you more.

"Princess i got you your favorite dish!" He walked in with a plate of jjajangmyeon and set it down in front of you.

Your mouth was watering and you were ready to dig in before wondering, "H-How do you know m-my favorite dish?"

Baekhyun hesitated at the question before clearing his throat and spoke with a raised brow, "We're dating y/n, why wouldn't I know what you like?"

"Uh yeah..right...." you dug in, your mind was starting to clear up a bit, not enough for you to fully remember anything though. But the more you thought, the more consciousness you regained.

Baekhyun watched as you gobbled down the meal with full satisfaction. This wouldn't be the first time he's watched you and neither would it be the last. He liked knowing you were eating well and were healthy so he was proud.

"I-im done!"

"Good girl. Now wait for me to come back so we can go to bed, okay?" You nodded and sat patiently as he took your plate and waited for your boyfriend to come back.

A few moments later, Baekhyun still was no where to be seen and your mind was slowly coming back, "N-no...wait." mumbling to yourself, you figured it out in just mere seconds and remembered that your boyfriend was brutally murdered four days ago in front of you. After four days you went to the bar to drink away the anguish and met someone, that someone was Byun Baekhyun. After thirty or so minutes of talking to him, you were drugged when you werent paying attention and passed out minutes later. Now you were here at Baekhyuns mansion, lied to and kidnapped. "Oh fuck."

The chair scraped against the floor and you wasted no time running to your hopeful freedom.

But you weren't a lucky person. Oh no you weren't. You were tossed and pushed against the door you were about to open by someone much bigger. He was the same guy you saw at the bar and his smirk was nothing different. Cynical and frightening.

The man stepped closer to you before putting one hand next to your head and whispered, "Are you playing a cat and mouse game with hyung now? How cute." Standing tall, he grabbed you by the hair and dragged you back to where you came. You groaned and tried fighting back, but there was no use, he wasn't going to let go until after he practically threw you into Baekhyuns arms.

You were about to scream at Baekhyun and the no name man until Baekhyun covered your mouth with his hand, "Say something and you'll regret it." He growled into your ear as you shook and fought.

You hummed against him and tried biting his hand and punching his side, but he was like a man of steel and let it happen, only raising his brow like he wanted to hurt you, but didnt.

"Sehun, tell Chanyeol to lock all the doors for the next week or so 'til she learns how to behave."

The man nodded and ran off leaving you two alone. Fear was one way to describe it and the look Baekhyun gave you didnt help.

"Now kitten why would you go and do some shit like that? Are you asking to be punished?" He took his hand off your mouth to let you speak. Baekhyuns aura was much different than earlier. The nice guy was gone and you were left with a man who could kill you with just one look.

You stopped hitting him and screamed viciously, "Fuck you! You're fucking insane!"

"Now now princess," he pressed a hand to your throat, wrapping it tighter and tighter until you felt the oxygen leave your lungs, "It seems as if you're asking for a punishment."

"I-if you...s-so dare to-touch..any other p-part of my body, i-ill....kill you..." You whimpered, grabbing his wrist in attempts to pull him off but Baekhyun was relentless, keeping his grasp tight and painful.

"Stop struggling, you're only making this harder for yourself."

There were two options now, either listen to Baekhyun or fight until you passed out again.

"Princess." His voice held a warning tone and you hesitantly stopped and moments later he loosened his grip, you knew there would be marks by tomorrow, "We are going to bed now. Don't try to run, I have this place guarded up and if you do somehow make it out, be prepared because I will find you and beat your ass until you can't sit for a month. Understand?"

Your stomach did flips and not in a good way, you were scared, "Y-yes."

"Can you say 'yes master'?" His voice went higher as he said the last part to mimic yours.

You sighed, positive if you didnt comply then you'd be here all night, "Yes m-master..."

"Good girl." He kissed your cheek and you almost smacked him in disgust but tried not to act aggressive towards him. You wanted to leave, not be punished by whatever he had in mind. "Call me that from now on."

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you to the room you were just in, now that you took a good look, it was a pretty room. There was a red sofa against the wall and some other matching chairs plus a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall facing the bed. You had to admit, he had good taste but he was still insane.

As you sat down on the bed, Baekhyun reached into his draw to pull out a t-shirt and handed it to you with a wide smile, but you raised a brow at the fabric.

"No pants?" You asked.

Baekhyun chuckled, "What for?"

"Because of creeps like you." You grumbled and snatched the shirt that dangled in front of your face before storming off into the connected bathroom. Inside, you could hear Baekhyuns annoying laugh and ignored it, changing into the surprisingly very oversized shirt that went down to your mid thigh.

Taking the clothes you wore earlier, you went back into the room where Baekhyun laid peacefully on the bed, waiting for you.

He only had his boxers on which made you groan in anger and decided to not lay on the bed and instead on the couch near it.

"Princess, what are you doing?" He perched himself on his elbows, watching you throw your clothes on the ground then take the folded blanket on the couch and wrap yourself with it as you laid down.

"Going to sleep, master." You stated coldly with a glare.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, "Get over here." He said, voice low and laced with dominance but you remained still, closing your eyes and pretending as if you were asleep. "Y/n." He warned but there was no reply.

"Thats it." You heard him get up and march to where you laid. Baekhyun picked you up and you yelped at the sudden intrusion and were thrown over his shoulder.

Smacking his back got you nowhere as he threw you down on the bed, pinning both your hands down and hovered over you with a killing look, "Next time you don't listen, ill bend you over my knee."

"Youre all talk, no action." In an instant you were flipped over and a hand landed straight on your bare ass, leaving you shocked and mouth agape.

"Are you sure, kitten? Would you like me to spank you again?"

"N-no."

"No what?"

"N-no master.."

Baekhyun slowly let you go and laid beside you, still a bit irrated. "Now go to sleep."

You couldnt. Not with the lingering fear of what could happen next. Plus, not with his arm wrapped around your waist with a somewhat tight hold. You were just too scared to let your gaurd down. Why shouldn't you be scared though? What if he took advantage of your sleeping body and did something terrible.

There was no way you could get rest now. You could now count this as your fifth day without proper sleep.

#exo smut #exo #exo fluff #exo angst #exo baekhyun #baekhyun exo #byun baekhyun #byun baekhyun smut #baekhyun smut #mafia au #yandere baekhyun #yandere #kpop smut #kpop fluff #kpop angst #kpop #kpop scenarios #exo scenarios

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shimmeringclouds · 3 years

Text

Karamatsu - Prepared?

𝘩𝘪𝘨𝘴𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘭!𝘬𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘴𝘶 𝘟 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Whenever you were at school, the hands on the clock seemed to purposely take forever to reach the final minutes of the day.

You tapped your finger impatiently against your cheek, staring blankly outside the window beside you. The droning voice of your teacher at the front of the class went through one ear and out the other, making the lesson just that little bit more boring.

You had other things to think about besides some useless math equations, anyway.

Looking up towards the clear, blue spring sky, your thoughts were drawn back to exactly that: blue. Or, more specifically, to the person you associated with the colour blue;

Karamatsu Matsuno.

One of the infamous sextuplets that attended your highschool. With his bowl cut brown hair, large round eyes and slightly red cheeks due to small blemishes, he was the definition of cute in your books.

You were lucky you were able to talk to him, too, seeing as you weren't exactly a social butterfly. He was in most of your classes, and as if it were fate, your teachers almost always paired the both of you up (although, that may have been to prevent him from sticking with his brothers, which would have led to no work being done).

So of course, the both of you were practically forced to communicate with each other. And on top of that, you were both walking home with each other nowadays, as you both were headed in the same direction. That, and the fact that he didn't really walk with his brothers anymore, which you actually found to be quite the shame.

They were so lively together, and their bond seemed so strong... What happened?

You sighed softly, eyeing the birds that flew swiftly over the school campus. You knew exactly what happened. People in your school were quick to judge them all for the things that the Matsuno's did together as brothers - as family - and to make themselves fit in, they slowly drifted apart. They don't even acknowledge each other anymore...

And now, Karamtsu seemed to be falling back into his shell of shyness. Without the support of his brothers, he didn't know what to do with himself. Slowly but surely, he became meek again, and struggled talking to others.

Including you.

Especially today, for some reason. It seemed as if he was trying to make an effort to speak, but every time you asked what was wrong, his cheeks flushed a deep red, and he stammered an excuse that you couldn't understand before running away. That had happened three times today. Did you do something wrong?

You did try asking Ichimatsu, as he seemed to be the easiest to talk to, but even he had no idea why his brother would act in such a way.

"Maybe he's just getting a little shy again. Who knows?" He had shrugged, giving you a smile before leaving to meet his friends.

At a loss, you could only watch Karamatsu's actions from the side, wondering continuously what was wrong with him. You wanted to help him, as a friend. Since that's probably all you'll ever stay to him, or you might be nothing to him now since he can't talk to you...

Your cheeks turned a light shade of pink as you thought this. Brows furrowed, you let a small pout cross your lips. You really liked Karamtsu. A lot. Over the past year or so since you got to know him, you realised a lot of things about him, and you found your eyes always wandering back to his figure subconsciously.

And you wanted to tell him how you felt so badly, but you were scared of it causing a rift in your friendship, as you were sure he didn't see you the same way. He was just shy, that's why he couldn't talk to you much. He probably only stayed with you because he had to for a project, or he might have felt bad for not walking with you on the way home. He was nice like that.

The bell suddenly rang, snapping you out of your thoughts. Quickly, you packed up your things and decided to head home straight away. It was the end of the week, and all you wanted was to stay as far away from school as possible until Monday.

Leaving the classroom, you went down the few flights of stairs to the main entrance, changing out of your school shoes to your comfortable pair of white and blue sneakers; a colour combo you chose without even realising because you were too busy thinking about Karamatsu whilst out shopping-

You groaned internally, begging yourself to stop acting like those girls in your class who just acted so love struck over every guy they've ever met. You were better than this! You're 18, for goodness sake, get a grip girl!

Despite thinking this, you took one small glance back over your shoulder to see if a familiar worried face was coming towards you as usual to accompany you home...

But nobody came.

Dejectedly, you dragged your feet away from the school gates. You knew it. He was just sick of you now. That's what he was going to tell you, wasn't he? But he was just too nice for his own good to get it out, so he left you instead.

Looking up, your eyes locked onto the countless Sakura trees lined against the empty sidewalk, hundreds of pink petals twirling in the air and dancing around you in the breeze. Ah, Sakura trees... A sad reminder of just how short beautiful things can last.

Just like your friendship with Karamatsu...

"[Y/N]!"

Wow. You were imagining his voice now? That's pathetic.

"[Y/N], wait!"

...Is that coming from behind you?

Turning on your heel, your eyes widened as a figure ran closer towards you, eyebrows creased in worry and panting heavily from having to catch up to you.

"Kara...matsu?" You mumbled confusedly, watching as he stopped in front of you, leaning his palms on his knees to catch his breath. It was silent for a few moments before the boy looked up at you slowly, cheeks flushed red again. Seriously, did he have a fever?

"I-I.. uhm..." he started quietly, straightening himself out. His mouth opened and closed a few times, hands making small gestures as he tried to speak, but nothing came out. Feeling slightly awkward, and worried for Karamatsu, you spoke first.

"Karamatsu," you began. He immediately froze up, eyes focused solely on you. You fidgeted slightly under his gaze, but took a small breath.

"Take a deep breath first. Then tell me what's wrong, okay?" Even though you knew what he wanted to say, you still gave him a small smile, encouraging him to speak.

Taking your advice, he sucked in a deep breath, loosening his joints so that they weren't as tense. Then, he raised a hand and rummaged through his pockets, pulling out a pile of notecards. You could only stare with a slightly raised brow, curious as to what he was doing.

"Uh, hey... so.. uhh.." he looked down at his notecards. "Did you, Uh- did... you fall out of heaven because, um-" due to the shakiness of his hands (and voice) he ended up dropping his cards all over the floor.

In a panic, he fell to the ground too, scrabbling to pick up the pieces of paper and sorting them back into their original order.

"Shit, fuck oh god fuck I'm so sorry you're- you're just s-so pretty I'm sorry-"

He continued rambling like that, his face looking like a cherry as he sweated profusely out of nerves, entire body shaking and words continuously pouring out of his mouth, making no sense to you.

However, your face was cherry red too as you processed what just happened.

He... he used a pick-up line on you? To confess? Is that what was going on?

...Your heart throbbed painfully, reminding you just how in love you were with this complete dork in front of you.

As Karamastu stood back up, still mumbling, only one thought was going through your head. And it slipped out.

"Kiss me, Karamtsu."

Time seemed to stop, and this was the only time you were grateful for that.

Blushing furiously, Karamatsu's brown orbs were blown wide, darting from your face to his cards, looking through them desperately.

"I um... don't have a card for... this," he replied, his voice higher than usual. You breathed out a giggle, stepping closer to him as you took advantage of this small piece of confidence you suddenly picked up.

"That's okay. I don't think we need it."

With that, you stood up on your tiptoes and pressed your lips against his. They were soft and slightly plump, fitting against yours like a missing puzzle piece.

Karamatsu froze up again, eyes squeezed shut as he dared not move, scared that he would ruin the moment if he did anything. Even so, he melted into you, pushing back against your lips in hopes that he was conveying his feelings like he wanted to.

Breaking away from each other, breathless, you spoke softly for only him to hear.

"I think you're really cute, too, Karamatsu."

The boy could only stare at you, face red, unable too tear his gaze away. He was floating up in the clouds right now, not entirely believing that this was real.

Smiling gently, you held out a hand towards Karamatsu.

"Shall we head home? Together?" You added. Glancing at your hand, a soft and sheepish smile worked it's way onto his face, cheeks flushing cutely. Slowly, he placed his larger hand into yours, squeezing gently.

"Y-Yeah... That sounds like a good idea."

#osomatsu san #karamatsu matsuno #karamatsu x reader #xreader #highschool!matsu #18!matsu #18!karamatsu x reader #prompt #fluffy #cute

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azucanela · 4 years

Note

Ahh i'm glad you write for them, thank you so much for answering my question :) may i ask for Dabi, Shigaraki and Toga headcanons w/ a female reader that likes to sing but is kinda shy about it? and like one time they catch her singing and are just speechless because her voice is so beautiful? Thank you so much :)

HEARING THEIR SHY S/O SING[HEADCANNONS]

[ft. dabi, shigaraki tomura, and toga himiko]

SUMMARY: in which Y/N can sing but nobody else knew that, until they did, and let me tell you they were SHOCKED.

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: implications of death, implications of nsfw, almost nudity bc towels, embarrassment, dabi being a perv, blood, injuries

A/N: this concept makes me happy lol, dabi’s is my favorite kjsahkjfshdkjh anyways ofc bb thank you for requesting! this is adorable :D

DABI

in all honesty, you’re probably singing in the shower and dabi is super nosy and has zero shame, so he kinda just comes into the bathroom while you are showering, like a perv

he hears you singing in the shower because he randomly shows up to your apartment, and he kinda just listens from outside for a hot minute because WOW, there is no one else it could be, unless you lived with a ghost who took 30 minute showers just like you did

he sincerely doubted this was the case

he’s vibing tbh, after he collects himself, he’ll kinda just take a seat on the toilet with a small smile on his face, and you won’t hear him unless he decides to sing along just to give you a heart attack

probably realizes that the reason he didn’t already know you have the voice of a literal angel is because of the fact that you’re a shy bb, and he’s gonna savor this while it lasts

he will tease you though, when you come out of the shower, grabbing your towel and then opening the shower curtain to him just sitting there, dopey smile on his face

“hey doll.”

you curse him out, cheeks warming, you lowkey forgot that you have no clothes on as you cuss him out, and he APPRECIATES the sight before him

you being angry is a TURN O N, angry and naked? even better

i think you know where this about to go

anyways as you curse him out for invading your privacy, you do be feeling EMBARRASSED because you were singing your heart out in there and he was just listENING

the audacity.

“you’re a really good singer, babe.”

Now you are more embarrassed and it suddenly dawns on you that you are not wearing clothes, just a towel to cover your body, and you are glaring at this mans because what the-

“what were you even thinking?!”

“that i would listen to my beautiful girlfriends equally beautiful voice.”

the type to ask you to sing for him, he has no shame like i said, will randomly say, “i like this song, think you could sing for me?”

you’re shy and like nO

he’s like, “come on babe, a private session ;)”

yeah he really likes this whole singing thing and will hype you up, but subtly, like hes constantly complimenting your singing voice because it really is just super pretty and he wants you to know this so that you’ll sing more

already comes to your home randomly, but this will increase in frequency because he really wants to hear you sing more AND catch you singing in the shower

LOWKEY

REALLY REALLY LOWKEY

LIKE R E A L L Y LOWKEY

i can see him asking you to sing him to sleep, it reminds him of his childhood because he finds comfort in your voice, and this would be the only time he’s shy about it

you’re just like WHAT internally, because if you express your shock externally he IS going to retreat back into himself and you will have lost your chance at a emotionally available Dabi

my type is emotionally unavailable people sigh

SHIGARAKI TOMURA

most confused award goes to this mans

you’re probably just singing along to your music as you clean your room, he told you he was dropping by, hence the cleaning, you are also dancing because why not vibe

he opens the door, you don’t hear him with your earbuds in, and he kinda just freezes at the door because thats your voice

your actual voice

he listens for a bit because it sounds pretty and he likes it, he’s really confused, but he likes it, and you

tbh this is a really domestic moment and tomura is really shocked that he’s enjoying leaning up against your doorway as you treat the broom in hand as a mic and belt out some nice lyrics

kinda hates that he likes it

they you turn around after finishing the song with a dramatic little ending, and open your eyes to see your lovely emotionally constipated boyfriend standing there, albeit uncomfortably, his arms are awkwardly crossed and he’s squirming under your gaze

“so... is that your quirk?” genuinely thinks you are such a good singer that it is your QUIRK to be a literal ANGEL

you’re too mortified to answer because shyness, mouth gaping open as you grapple for words and you feel your entire body heat up in embarrassment. You genuinely are contemplating jumping onto your bed and screaming into your pillow before suffocating yourself with it.

“how long have you been standing tHeRe?” your voice cracks and you lowkey wanna cry because WHAT EVEN IS THIS DAY

he kinda shrugs, “few minutes.” he’d mumble and then look up at you, he is equally nervous at this point, “you have a nice voice.”

“thank you,,,,”

he’s too awkward to ask you to sing for him, but he would try and encourage you to sing, because he really does want to hear you again, he just can’t find a way to ask you

literally this is stressing him out, just start singing randomly and he’ll appreciate it so much, don’t make him ask p l e a s e

he is definitely gonna start stopping by randomly way more often, in hopes of catching you singing once more, because thats just an experience he wants to happen again

would probably bring it up that you have a pretty voice to other league members in hopes that they’ll bully you into singing so that he doesn’t have to

sometimes he wishes he didn’t tell them though because he kinda just wants to keep you and your talent for himself

isn’t the best at hyping you up, especially not outright, definitely the most awkward of the three, but he’s going to try, purely because he thinks that if he boosts your confidence enough then he’ll hear you sing more and he won’t have to outright ask you to sing for him because that would be painful for the both of you

“you know... you sing good.”

“thank you...?”

“this is a nice song.”

“yeah,”

“sing it.”

sounds really demanding but he’s trying his hardest okay.

understands if you don’t want to sing in front of others due to your shyness, he’s awkward too, so as long as you sing for him its chill

he likes the intimacy of the moments when you sing for him and him alone, it just makes him happy to have that, especially since you are shy about singing.

TOGA HIMIKO

oh knife wife, love of my life,

that rhymes

toga is probably the most outwardly supportive of you and your singing endeavors, bbg is gonna be so happy when she finds out you can sing, unlike the other boys she won’t have time to savor it because she will immediately start talking about it

probably breaking into your home through your window because she needs medical assistance and cannot tell if the blood on her belongs to someone else or not, you are her go to because hospitals are a no no for a villain such as herself

she sees you through the window, and she can kinda hear you singing as you cook in your kitchen, though you aren’t that visible and the window blocks out most of the noise.

genuinely contemplates breaking the window so that she can hear you better because it already sounds so pretty??? how??? why didn’t she know about this, why didn’t you tell her?

the audacity honestly what are you doing

she opens the window with class instead, effectively breaking into your home, but you don’t hear her as she closes it and re-locks the window

she’s gonna be speechless for a hot minute, now that she hears your voice clearly, she’s beginning to wonder if the blood is hers and shes dead, because you have a voice that belongs in the heavens literally what-

wondering how she didn’t know about this as she bursts into your kitchen covered with blood, “Y/N BABY YOU CAN SING?”

you nearly drop the knife in your hand and cut your foot off at the sight of your bloody girlfriend like, for several reasons

one. how the hell did she get into your apartment. two, why is she covered in so much blood???? three. she heard you singing. oh god she head you singing. time to panic and die

you kinda freeze and your mouth gapes open because you are so confused and panicked right now as your hands begin to gesture vividly while you search for words, trying to avoid her gaze and questions as your face heats up

this shock and panic distracts you from the fact that she broke into your house covered in blood as you respond, “i mean anyone can sing-”

“you sing GOOD.”

brags about you being such a good singer ALL THE TIME, literally how she introduces you to people, much to your dismay

will ask you to sing for her with no shame, unlike dabi she isn’t even going to shut down if you say no or find it weird, she’s just gonna keep asking until you agree to do it

would not be opposed to falling asleep to your similar voice, in fact, your voice is one of few things that calms her down

she’s literally just so excited about the fact that you can sing, like WOW, the whole league is gonna know so fast, she’s just

SO HAPPY

she’s literally going to be hyping you up 24/7 like even if the conversation has nothing to do with it, she’s going to tell you how amazing you are and try to help you overcome your shyness because your talent must be SHARED WITH THE WORLD

just a super supportive gf at the end of the day we love toga

A/N: the vibes are immaculate, sing for your evil lover, that is the point here

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luvlyrv · 3 years

Text

No More Secrets | Joy x Fem!Reader

Genre: fluff

Request: Can I please request where the reader is a single parent who is also dating sooyoung. Sooyoung doesn’t know that the reader has a kid, since reader has been hiding them because she felt like sooyoung would shame her or wouldn’t want to date her anymore. Sooyoung accidentally see’s the readers kid and instead of being angry, she just wants to be part of the family. Thank youu!

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: First request I've ever done! Thank you for sending this in, I hope it's what you wanted. Also hhh you'll probably notice but I decided to keep the child vague? Maybe you have a dream baby that you wanna parent idk, so I don't have a name or gender for them, hope you don't mind.

Date: 1/23/21

Over the past few years you've thrown yourself into your work. It was hard trying to provide for the needs of both you and your child at the same time, both in the physical and emotional sense. Whether or not you would be able to pay the bills was always a worry, and as you continued increasing your time at work you began to fret about if you were there for your kid at the same time.

The biggest struggle overall was toiling through those worries by yourself. As much as you tried to distract and provide for your family by working more and more overtime shifts, you couldn't ignore the growing emptiness in your heart and bed any further. Sure, you could reach out to friends and family to ask for help and be your support group, but they could never be what you desired right now. Right now you wished that someone was there holding you. That someone told you things would be okay and could love you in a romantic sense. Someone to completely swipe you off your feet and make your worries melt away.

Unfortunately it's been proven to you over and over again that it's hard to find a date. Very few people were your type, and from those people you weren't their type for the most part. Even if you matched you found yourself so busy working and taking care of your child that you were on a tight schedule, and your matches just never seemed to want to work with someone inflexible.

One day though, it felt like an absolute miracle when you got a match. A woman named Park Sooyoung had appeared on your feed. You read through her short biography, learning how she loves to sing and is an aspiring model and dog mom. Staring at her pictures you felt like she was out of your league. You couldn't tell what was worse, swiping no and missing out on a possible opportunity or swiping yes when you knew she was 100% out of your league and would likely reject you instantly.

It was a welcome surprise when you finally swiped yes, only to see a match screen pop up instantly on your phone. Soon after that the both of you began talking to each other. Your thumbs nervously tapping away at your phone as the both of you said your hellos and started giving more detailed introductions. The tightness in your chest eased up as every text sent by Sooyoung was charming you, all of them being disarming and funny to you.

Within the next couple of days you felt like you were glued to your phone. Without meaning to your hands would find its way cross the table or to your pocket just to pull out your phone and look for notifications from Sooyoung. Luckily for you it always felt like her name was on your screen with her patiently waiting for a text back.

Soon enough she asked for a coffee date. You obliged to her offer but told her your schedule, already profusely apologizing as you expected it to be difficult for her to work with. Sooyoung just said not to worry about it and set out a date that would be convenient for the both of you.

Every day after that was spent living in anticipation. You wondered about the sound of her voice and if things would be as easy and comfortable in real life as it was over text. As you dropped off your child at your friend's place to be watched over the evening your heart swelled even more. You really were going to meet Sooyoung.

You enter the coffee shop nervously, your eyes scanning the entire shop trying to look for a familiar face. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a tall figure gracefully sitting in a booth. Focusing on her face, she looked exactly like the woman you matched with. A smile fell on your face as you thanked the heavens that at least you weren't catfished. You make your way over to her booth and speak out.

"Hey, Sooyoung?" The woman looks up and smiles instantly looking at you.

"Hey! Really good to meet you, Y/N."

"Sorry, did I keep you waiting? How about I treat you coffee?" Sooyoung just shook her head at your offer.

"No no, I'll do the treating this time. Maybe on our next date?" She suggested casually. The smile on your face grew a little bit wider at the idea of a second date. The two of you go up to the counter and make your orders. When they were complete you both went back to your booth and sat down to talk.

The two of you casually talked while sipping away at your drinks. You were really happy, because you couldn't remember the last time your heart fluttered this much. You were thankful that spending time with your date felt so natural and comfortable. Hopefully Sooyoung would be thinking the same thing too.

It wasn't supposed to go like this. You were hoping that maybe by the second or third date you could bring up the fact that you're a mother. Every single date though you'd push back that conversation more. The two of you would be having so much fun together you didn't want to turn the atmosphere serious so suddenly. Either that or your anxieties and fears made their way back into your heart.

Yet here you were, already on your fifth date with Sooyoung's presence in your life becoming more and more familiar. The guilt of not telling her was silently eating away at you. Despite that, your fears still held your tongue.

After all, meeting someone like Sooyoung felt like a one in a million chance for you. If she broke it off with you now, you'd feel devastated from the loss. Not only that, but as much as you liked Sooyoung you weren't sure if your child was reader for an unfamiliar adult figure to enter their life. What if Sooyoung was secretly dangerous? You could be putting your child in harms way.

So as much as it hurt you to feel like you were breaking Sooyoung's trust, you had to protect your family first. For now, you'll just continue trying to gauge how good Sooyoung is with children and hope she isn't offended by how long it's taking you to tell her such pertinent information. You sigh while looking at the food sitting in front of you.

"Are you not hungry after all?" Sooyoung asks. You look up with a bit of a surprised face, just being snapped out of your train of thought.

"Oh sorry, I was just thinking." You smile a bit, trying to ease any of Sooyoung's possible worries. You start to take some small bites of your dinner. Sooyoung just quirks her eyebrows a bit at the sight. She wondered what could possibly be thinking about. Things were awkward for a little bit after that, but the rest of dinner went smoothly. The small amount of tension dissipated and the two of you were able to converse and share laughs as the night went on.

When dinner was finished Sooyoung offered to take you home. Although you were a bit worried at first, you decided to take her offer. You enjoyed the car ride as you watched the dark night sky pass by while continuing to chat idly with Sooyoung. She drops you off without a hitch as you thank her.

It's now been a couple months since you've first met Sooyoung, and you're life has been better ever since. Although trying to manage the many different parts of your life all at once and by yourself was hard, you knew that Sooyoung would always be there to listen to your worries. Or at least the worries you could talk about without talking about your family.

You were sitting on the couch with your child on your lap, snuggling into you. You couldn't help but to be filled with warmth as you saw how happy and excited they looked while watching the movie on TV. For the past couple of weeks they were begging to watch the movie with you, so finally you had set the time to have a movie night with them. On the table were snacks scattered across it as well as your phone. You noticed your phone light up from a notification. You leaned over just a little bit to reach it and check.

i missed you! i have some takeout and im coming over~

It was a text from Sooyoung. You stared at your phone in shock. Your mind was torn. On one hand you loved the spontaneity of it all and the seemingly romantic gesture. On another hand you hated the spontaneity of it all and worried about Sooyoung finally entering your house only to see that you've been taking care of a kid the entire time. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise though.

You decided to suck it up and meet your fate tonight. You'd welcome Sooyoung to your home and see how things go from there.

alright, see you soon!

You let out the breath you were holding in as you squeeze your eyes in frustration. Your child looked up at you with a worrying look.

"Is something wrong, mommy?" They ask innocently. You shake your head and try to give a reassuring smile. You squeeze their arm a bit.

"Nothing is wrong, someone is going to come over later though so don't be scared from the doorbell." You answer. Your child just nods their head and looks back at the TV, eating some of the popcorn you had made earlier.

Around twenty minutes pass before you finally hear the ringing of your door bell. You gently pick your child off of your lap and onto the couch as you get up to answer. You took in a few deep breathes to try and ready yourself. While reaching out to unlock and turn the doorknob, you realize your hand was shaking despite your efforts.

You open the door and try to give Sooyoung a smile, but you reckon that your worry was obvious as her face quickly had a concerned look.

"Hey Y/N!" Sooyoung says with a smile, with it fading a little as her eyebrows became upturned. "Uhm, are you not happy to see me…?" You become apologetic as you frantically responded.

"Of course I'm happy to see you! It's just that… uhm." You open the door a bit further for Sooyoung and allow her to enter the house. You look at your kid sitting on the couch now staring at Sooyoung rather than watching the movie.

"K/N, this is Sooyoung! A friend of mommy's." You bite your lip after introducing her. You felt bad as it you felt like you were dumping news onto both your date and your own child. You watch as Sooyoung went over to your table and put the takeout down. Things were silent except for the pounding in your chest. You prepared your mind and heart for the worst, expecting Sooyoung to politely say goodbye and leave.

Then, Sooyoung put on a grand smile and excited sat down next to your kid.

"I'm so excited to meet you! Is it okay if I watch this movie with you?" Sooyoung asks, but instead of answering the question your child decided to blurt out their thoughts instead.

"You're really really really pretty." They said with a face mixed with surprise and admiration. Sooyoung gives out a laugh, finding the bluntness of your child hilarious and adorable.

The feeling in your chest began to ease up as you watched the sight. You were both surprised and happy with the way things were looking, but you'd definitely have to have a conversation with Sooyoung afterwards. For now though, it seemed like the three of you could eat take out and enjoy some snacks while watching the rest of a kid's movie.

The movie eventually came to an end though. Your child was yawning and complaining about being tired so you made them go brush their teeth. After they were done you picked them up and gently laid them in bed, kissing their forehead and saying goodnight. When you closed the door to their room, you went back to the living room where Sooyoung was patiently sitting.

"I guess we have some things we should talk about, right?" You gave a little fake laugh after asking the rhetorical question. You walked towards the couch and sat down a couple feet away from Sooyoung.

"So…" She began talking, at first looking at the floor but then into your eyes. Her eyes seemed to be filled with hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?" She whispered. Already you were feeling horrible. You reached your hand out to clasp hers and she let you.

"I'm so sorry. I really am Sooyoung. I was just worried about whether or not you would like kids, let alone start being a part of one's life. I just… I needed more time to gauge that. I was really meaning to tell you though, I promise." You tried to explain to her. Sooyoung leaned forward to you and hugged you.

"Hey hey, don't worry. I absolutely adore K/N already." She backed out of the hug but was still close to you. She tucked away a stray hair as she continued talking with you. "I'll take care of the both of you, okay? I want to do that for you both." She gives you a reassuring smile. You lean in and give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"I'm sorry. No more secrets from me." You say, happy that it now felt like nothing was in between you and your relationship with Sooyoung anymore.

#Park Sooyoung #park sooyoung x reader #joy x reader #red velvet #red velvet joy #red velvet kpop #red velvet scenarios #red velvet sooyoung #rv joy #rv sooyoung #kpop writing #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop au #gg scenarios #gg imagines #kpop gg #red velvet x reader

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baoshan-sanren · 4 years

Text

Chapter 40

of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Fuck the Canon: Happy Endings For Everyone

Uncle does not speak for a long time.

This heavy, disappointed silence is new, and yet not new. If WangJi is to be perfectly honest with himself, he is accustomed to being the cause of his uncle’s disappointed silences, or at the very least, he is accustomed to bearing partial responsibility. WangJi does not remember a single instance when this silence was solely turned on XiChen. Everything about it is odd and discomforting. WangJi feels helpless in the face of it, not sure how to offer XiChen his support, or if XiChen would even appreciate such an intrusion.

He had returned from his meeting with the Emperor fully expecting to be the main instigator of uncle’s displeasure. Requesting the permission to marry the Emperor, a person uncle clearly disapproves of, had seemed more than a sufficient cause for one of uncle’s disappointed silences. WangJi is very well aware that uncle cannot, and would not, attempt to prevent WangJi from accepting this particular marriage offer. However, he did expect uncle to list all the reasons why Wei Ying will make an unsuitable spouse, and all the reasons why WangJi should reconsider his decision.

Nothing of such nature has occurred. Instead, it is XiChen who is bearing the brunt of uncle’s disapprobation, for reasons WangJi does not quite understand.

Sect Leader Nie, the General of the Emperor’s army, has been invited by XiChen to spend the winter at Cloud Recesses. WangJi cannot see how this could possibly constitute an unfavorable event. Establishing close ties of friendship with the Nie Sect does not seem to have any drawbacks, and Nie MingJue’s presence at Cloud Recesses can only elevate the Gusu Lan standing.

Once upon a time, Sect Leaders would compete for an invitation to Cloud Recesses, so they can spend months in seclusion or meditation. Elders of all sects, great and small, would come to seek advice from the Lan Sect Elders, and remain in talks for days on end.

Should this not be seen as a revival of the Lan Sect? As an opportunity?

“The invitation must be rescinded,” uncle finally says, his voice brooking no opposition.

XiChen, kneeling by WangJi’s side, is as distraught as WangJi has ever seen him. It is painful, watching his brother’s hands clench in the folds of his robes. WangJi wants to reach out, but he does not dare.

“I will not,” XiChen says.

There is nothing firm about his tone. Nothing forceful, nothing that implies disrespect. His voice is unsteady, some unknown emotion causing the words to waver, as if he himself is not fully certain of them, as if speaking an unfamiliar language for the first time.

WangJi sees his own shock plainly reflected on uncle’s face.

“You will not?”

“I will not,” XiChen repeats, “If the invitation must be rescinded, I-- I will spend the winter in QingHe. In the Unclean Realm.”

“You would abandon your responsibility,” uncle says, voice now angry.

“I would never,” XiChen says forcefully, his voice trembling, “He would-- he would not ask me to.”

“He would not? What does he ask for, then? Are you to play his concubine for the winter? Is the future Leader of the Lan Sect only worth warming his bed until he finds a suitable spouse?”

XiChen pales visibly. WangJi, on the other hand, feels his face light on fire.

Now that uncle’s meaning had become clear, in retrospect, WangJi supposes the cause of his displeasure should have been obvious. What other reason would the Nie Sect Leader have to spend three months in Cloud Recesses, in the middle of the winter? Certainly not so he can foster a better relationship with the Gusu Lan, a task much better suited to the warmer months.

Still, the conversation has veered into an area that feels too delicate, too personal for WangJi to take part. His need to offer XiChen silent support battles against knowledge that his presence may not be wanted, and he remains only because leaving now may make the situation worse.

“He is willing to marry me,” XiChen says, “I am the one unwilling.”

“A Sect based in Gusu cannot be led from QingHe,” uncle says coldly, “This marriage can never take place. You know this, and your answer is to subject both the seat and the title to shame and disgrace. Is this what all my lessons have amounted to? Is this the kind of man I have raised?”

The words seem to strike XiChen like a whip, rocking him in place. At no point has he lifted his head to meet uncle’s gaze, but WangJi can see his wide-eyed anguish and immediate shame, as if all those unflattering thoughts, all of his hidden self-recriminations, have just been confirmed out loud.

WangJi’s immediate fury is equally as shocking, unfolding in his chest, nauseating in its intensity. In his entire life, his anger had never shifted to uncle with such vehemence.

Uncle gets to his feet, signaling an end to the conversation, “If you do not rescind the invitation, you will enter seclusion, and remain in seclusion for the length of Nie MingJue’s stay in Cloud Recesses. You will not see him. You will not speak to him. The future Leader of the Gusu Lan Sect will not dirty his reputation under my watch. Choose wisely.”

Uncle leaves, but XiChen does not move.

Long moments pass, but XiChen does not even acknowledge the words that have been spoken. His gaze is locked on the floor in front of his knees, his fingers still clenched in the folds of his robe, his face ashen and blank.

WangJi remains kneeling by his side, searching for any words that may give his brother comfort, and finding none.

“Why did you not tell him?” he finally asks, unable to keep silent, “Why did you not say that nothing shameful would happen. How can he assume such a thing of you?”

XiChen laughs, a sound terrifying in its proximity to a sob, “How could I promise such a thing? I would not lie.”

WangJi had thought himself embarrassed before, but now he recoils involuntarily, wishing he had said nothing. A part of him is shocked to hear such words out of his brother, who had always embodied decorum and propriety. A part of him wishes he could unhear the words for an entirely different set of reasons.

Heavens help him, he never wants to imagine Nie MingJue and his brother doing-- anything untoward.

“Do you love the Emperor, WangJi?” XiChen asks, finally lifting his head.

All of his brother’s serenity and composure have been washed away. Underneath, he looks both incredibly young and much too old, fragile and raw, as if uncle had shattered him to pieces. He makes a visible effort to pull himself back together, but WangJi can see that only some fragments remain, the rest of XiChen riddled in gaping, jagged cracks.

“I do,” WangJi says, the first time he has spoken the words out loud.

“Could you promise, to be near him every day, for months on end, and never touch him?”

WangJi feels his chest twist painfully, “I could not.”

XiChen does not look surprised by his answer. Instead, he turns his gaze to the place uncle had vacated, his expression shifting again, pain and resignation and blank acceptance passing by in a rush, each one more devastating than the last.

“Uncle is right,” XiChen says softly, “I am in the wrong.”

He rises to his feet, unsteadily, robes wrinkled where his hands had clutched them in a desperate grip.

WangJi does not ask which choice XiChen has made. He is fairly certain that he knows without having to be told.

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #ficlet #m #wwx emperor au #it's still day 6 #one more day to go

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whetstonefires · 4 years

Text

mcu ethics bad

The thing is that, while I was angry at Tony during Age of Ultron, particularly when he rode over Bruce’s compunctions about building a giant combat super-robot and pressured him into the project like a very very bad friend who happened to also be wrong...

...and when he equipped Hulkbuster armor and fought the Hulk in the middle of a city rather than attempting de-escalation or attempting to haul the Hulk out into the giant adjacent desert....

(And my suspension of disbelief snapped like a frayed cable when he brought down a skyscraper that had had no time to be evacuated on a street full of fleeing people and the only reason we were given to believe he hadn’t just cold-bloodedly created massive civilian casualties was that he told his AI to find the impossible magic angle where doing this wouldn’t kill anyone...)

While I was angry with him then, and unspeakably relieved that he recognized his own damage and retired at the end, haha psych, I was revolted by him during Civil War.

It’s supposed to make us sympathize with a character more, spending so much time with them, getting into their heads, being shown their emotional drives and reactions to things, and we spent so much time with Tony during that film, understanding his point of view. And...I did understand him. He’s not complicated. I even sympathized with his emotional state.

But in the context of his actions, throughout the film, I gazed into that understanding the way I did into Kylo Ren’s face in the seconds after he first unmasked. I see you, I know you, everything you are is written here, and the lines of your shame and self-revulsion are so thick upon you, and you should be ashamed but your self-destruction does not expiate or justify one jot of the harm you do.

Because everything Tony did in Civil War came from a place of selfishness. He was selfish all throughout that movie down to his very spine.

And selfishness isn’t itself necessarily bad--you need a little, to get through life, you have the right to your own portion of it. Your boundaries and your needs. But the type of selfishness that is forcing other people pay dearly for your emotional comfort and sense of control: no.

That is tyranny. That is not acceptable.

And you know how I know he was being selfish? Because his motive for pushing the Sokovia Accords was his personal guilt for the destruction of Sokovia.

But the Accords didn’t address that at all! They were tangential to the issue! None of the terms of the Accords would have saved Sokovia--in fact, the existence of them could easily have prevented the evacuation and harm-reduction the Avengers managed there, without saving a single soul.

The Ultron crisis was something Tony did, not as Iron Man but as Tony Stark, with Bruce Banner’s help, and which Wanda as criminal fugitive later helped exacerbate, and which all the other Avengers were involved in only to mitigate harm.

Legislation, or...treaties, idk, the UN isn’t actually empowered to pass laws so who knows what this thing was...aimed at preventing another Sokovia would mandate constant ethical oversight of billionaire science man’s mad science. At the very least! He never has to run things by ethics boards because he’s self-funded, at the very least let’s invent a mechanism to make up for that.

That would address the actual Sokovia issue, both in terms of risks and in terms of Tony’s personal guilt feelings.

But no one suggests that! It’s not even on the table! Because no one, certainly not any government, can tell Tony Stark what to do unless he lets them, that’s been a clear matter of record since Iron Man 2.

And because no one writing this legal instrument of whatever description was actually motivated by wanting to avoid another Sokovia, or even another ‘Wanda tries to neutralize a suicide bomber but merely gives him a different, smaller victim pool’ incident.

They didn’t care! They blatantly didn’t care! The entire thing was a ghoulish use of the dead to gain enough political leverage over the Avengers to put a leash on them!

(Which might not be a bad thing in principle, everything needs its checks, but when the last quasi-governmental organization you worked for turned out to be Nazis who were only prevented from staging a mass slaughter of undesireables by the skin of your teeth, I think you’re well within your rights to be very choosy about who you agree to obey, and to be firmly against pledging your honor to follow people whose first move was dishonest coercive tactics.

Actually you’re well within your rights to demand to negotiate the terms of even a much less sweeping contract, even without the Nazis. The whole approach to this thing stank to high heaven.

The fact that it was written by the UN like a treaty, expected to be signed by private individuals like a contract, and then enforced like a law except not because 1) laws are for everyone 2) if you break a law you get a trial not extrajudicial incarceration and 3) being pressured to consent to a restriction and then punished for refusing consent is hypocritical circular logic and in fact police corruption at its finest, all continues to show it was a bullshit nonsense franken-document.)

The whole movie is people ghoulishly using the dead to manipulate Tony into making bad decisions in response to his emotional pain. That’s. The plot of the film.

Then Zemo staged T’Chaka’s assassination and framed Bucky for it to raise the tension, ramp up the pressure, and prevent any sitting-down and talking reasonably through this, which might have allowed for the recognition of how extremely bullshit the entire concept was.

Tony was being used. Tony was a tool of bad people for most of that movie, and while Zemo banked on using his wrath for it, the politicos were leaning on his guilt.

And there’s honestly little I hold in deeper scorn than going out and hurting other people to assuage your own guilt and treating this as having the moral high ground. No. You don’t have the moral high ground on account of your guilt motivation. You have it if the actions you took were just, or at least could reasonably be assumed to have been so at the time.

And Tony fucking knew they weren’t. He didn’t even last to the end of the movie before recognizing that he’d been manipulated and fucked up, and doubling back.

That he then walked into a different manipulation, turned on a dime, and had to be stopped from doing a murder doesn’t unwrite that.

And it drives me nuts that people will say Tony was acting out of principle while Steve was acting out of personal attachment. Because sure, the Bucky thing was important, was the reason he was walking forward against all opposition instead of standing still to argue, but it wasn’t the reason Steve said no, while...

Tony wasn’t acting out of principle. Tony isn’t...very good at having principles. That’s not even a criticism or condemnation, it’s just how he functions. Since Iron Man he’s been substituting good intentions and emotional investment, which has worked out to varying degrees. It works best for huge, difficult, very straightforward decisions like ‘ride the nuke through the portal and save my hometown.’ It works less well for nuanced situations.

Tony was, as usual, acting out of emotion. And some awful shitheads who’d figured out where his levers were had calculated how to jiggle his emotion switches in the right places to make him do exactly what they wanted.

And you can tell he wasn’t acting out of principle because, for example, someone who was trying to get the superhero community under outside control for the sake of harm mitigation...

...well, firstly wouldn’t have chosen to stage a massive battle? But it’s possible someone in the UN specifically told him to do that, and in theory they at the very least signed off on it, presumably for its PR value of making Captain America look deranged and violent since it’s a deranged decision from every other angle, so yay, he can pass that responsibility up the chain and not have to angst about it, as promised.

But I was going to say would not have approached a minor who (this timeline takes pains to show us) had no prior experience of battle or even, somehow, serious violent crime, to recruit him to go be a government child soldier on another continent, without his guardian’s knowledge or consent. There were overtones of blackmail in Tony’s approach, before it turned out Peter was such a big fan he didn’t need that. What the fuck frankly.

That is not the action of someone who wants to start doing things by the letter, scaling the violence down, keeping within the law and putting the power of decisionmaking in other people’s hands because he’s realized he can’t trust his own.

And frankly even if he did act like that I wouldn’t necessarily support his choices, in particular his snap decision to behave coercively toward other Avengers with vastly less social power and security than he has.

And that’s the other thing! Everything about ‘Tony + Accords BFFs’ rings so hollow because he has never thought rules applied to him, and he knows perfectly well the entire time he’s fighting to force this surrender of agency down other people’s throats that he is going to be practically immune.

This man was technically a terrorist, proabably the most prolific single terrorist in world history until his rogue android exceeded his body count, but he was immune to prosecution because he was in tight with the United States military-industrial complex and basically untouchable due to his status within capitalism, and pursuing their international goals anyway. In the time between Iron Man and Iron Man II he was basically a one-man upgrade of the US drone program, and so good at it that the crest of blood he carved through the Middle East allowed him to announce he had ‘privatized world peace.’

(You are never going to get a world peace worth anything on the basis of a giant flying gun, okay.)

He went to war as a private individual, against non-state actors who were not directly threatening him, which is very much defined as ‘mass murder’ in all domestic and international law, and the US army in response sued him for control of his weapon. And lost! Lost.

No one attempted to press charges. No one. Because Tony Stark is above all that. And he knows it.

And like. I’m willing to accept the mass murder under the heading of ‘superheroing’ within the terms of this setting! Even if, after his vengeance rampage on his specific kidnappers, this violence was kept strictly off-screen for a reason. I did that! I bent that far! Genre convention!

But this history is kind of vitally important to any analysis of what he thought he was doing, and what he actually was doing, when he decided to become the iron gauntlet of the Sokovia Accords.

The currently active member of the Avengers who needed muzzling most was very manifestly Iron Man, and he knew even as he jammed the muzzle on all his comrades to make himself feel better that it would affect him the least, even if he didn’t finally retire for real this time. You don’t force Tony Stark. Not if you want anything out of it but blown up. You persuade him.

And once you have...oh, look at what he can do.

#hoc est meum #mcu #tony stark critical #i am so angry with this man and i will never stop #i throw salt #an ocean of it

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