#it feels like im shedding a skin of sorts

[corpsecoded]

i am seeing angels in my dreams again !

[charliemotha]

Hazbin Hotel headcanons sorted by character

Charlie:

favorite color is "rainbow" (real answer is red)

autism, ocd, npd, codependent personality disorder

tail sometimes manifests solely for stimming purposes

growls when very excited like a dog

very keen sense of smell

horns manifest when turned on (something something horny)

in case this gets disproven im listing it here: her legs are furred

manifested her wings once around vaggie near the beginning of her relationship and it upset her, never did it again

can walk up 45° angle walls (goat hooves lol)

Vaggie:

hair is actually feathers

depression, gad, ptsd, bpd (charlie is her fp obv)

retractable claws that are naturally black

teeth are all flat, fangs only come out when angry

the scars from her initial casting from heaven remained even after she regained her wings

when regaining her wings she also got feathers that cover her chest and upper back

died via suicide and was drafted into the exorcist army simply because adam found her attractive and was completely surprised when she was able to learn to fight easily and quickly

her gloves and socks are to cover up self harm scars

feet are like a moth's, like angel she is self conscious about them

wings do not disappear or retract, they simply fold under her hair

will misjudge distance/placement of things due to lack of depth perception. extremely embarrassed when it happens

its difficult for her to read things from a distance, charlie will often read things to her

her and angel dust are exes, has lingering feelings which is part of the cause of her hostility towards him

coos like a pigeon when relaxed/content

Angel Dust:

homoflexible

depression, adhd, hypersexual (ofc)

any pronouns user

says he's cis but genuinely doesn't care what he's called

qpps with cherri bomb

random nosebleeds due to drug overuse

charlie will call him anthony when she's mad at him like a parent using your full name

his venom causes an intense high and multiple demons have drugged him so they can uhm. well the scientific term for getting venom from a spider is milking but im not saying it

very fidgety and feels anxious if he's not moving at all times

Sir Pentious:

had an interdental lisp and was a snake oil salesman in life, hence his snakelike appearance

pansexual

autistim, npd

tail is more eel-like than snake-like

as an angel, his hood doubles as wings; in his full angel form he gets additional pairs of wings and more eyes along his tail

buries every egg boi he loses

venomous bite that causes delirium and sometimes temporary paralysis

sheds his skin and leaves the empty skins around the hotel, doesn't realize it until he hears charlie scream upon finding it

his hat is in fact sentient but is an extension of him and can change forms (as opposed to all the hats he's shown wearing being individual headpieces)

Alastor:

deer tail .

acearo in the sense that he does not get pleasure from sex but rather from tormenting/torturing others

hated his ears and antlers at first, similar to husk he's accepted them but still doesn't like them

if you touch either he will launch you into the sky

ONLY wears all red

qpps with rosie

vox is his ex, he's long moved on but vox hasn't

his hands have claw fingers those are NOT gloves Fuck You

has hooves but his legs are not digitgrade like charlie's

he can feel and hear through his microphone

Husk:

depression, alcoholic (duh), bpd, ptsd

either hated cats or had a pet cat when he was alive that he killed while drunk

either way his discomfort with his demon form is obvious

full demon form is quadruped

acute senses except for sight

pretty much always at least tipsy

tail usually drags on the floor

really wants to perform his magic tricks to the hotel patrons but is afraid of being mocked

Niffty:

died eitherfrom mixing chemicals in a closed room or climbing into the chimney to clean it and ended up getting stuck

was a maid in life, probably killed someone but was able to dispose of the body so well she never got caught

heteroflexible

still thinks angel dust is a woman cause he never corrects her

[austinswh0re]

Confidential.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Wife!reader

Warnings: Smut!!! so please if you’re not into that do not continue reading!, fluff, Angry Chris?

This is my first time posting any sort of writing on here so please don’t come for me💀 I’m hoping this comes out as well as it is in my head lmao. Enjoy! Also! i’m aware Endgame did not come out in 2021, im switching up the timeline a little bit lol

Y/n gets ask a question she had been preparing to answer, but when it gets asked she doesn’t know how to feel about it. Chris keeps in everything he wants to say until later that night.

(The gif is making me scream)

…………………………………………

Press conferences. I always had a love hate relationship with them. I loved answering questions and being with all my friends at once but what i didn’t enjoy so much were the extremely personal questions. Such as mine and Chris’ private life.

Chris and I got engaged late 2020, we planned our wedding for July 2021, we wanted a summer wedding, getting engaged in December didn’t really give us much time to plan, but one thing we knew for sure was that we would not wait a whole year before we were married. It was a small wedding, we got married on the beach with all our closest friends and family. We went on our dream honeymoon to Hawaii, and once we came home it was time for a premier.

Filming Endgame was definitely filled with tons of emotion. It was mine a his last Marvel movie together and everyone was aware of this. After we had filmed the last scene tears were shed from almost the entire cast and crew. We still had the premiere, which I will forever be grateful for. We hadn’t posted that we had gotten married on any social media platform, well up until the night I posted a photo of us and my username had changed. I didn’t think much of it considering us being engaged was very much public, but many people were still shocked by the name change.

y/nEvans

“your favorite couple has arrived:) So extremely proud of this guy right here, I love you infinitely.”

1,234,536 likes

ChrisEvans: Thank you honey, I love you more than you know❤️

robertdowneyjr: Love these two!!

tomholland2013: I think you guys come in a close second to me and z

Y/nEvans: replying to tomholland2013: yeah yeah

user1256: sobbing. her username is y/nEvans.

user1437: Shut up. I cant do this rn. im so happy for them🥹

^^^^^^ the post in question*

We also had the press conference which gave me a few extra days with the people i love the most. We both knew the risk of having personal questions asked was high but that didn’t make it any less jarring.

Upon our arrival to the hotel we had been informed that we only had one bed in our room, which considering we were married wasn’t an issue. Although everyone else wasn’t to happy about this.

“Chris, can you come here please?” I called out from the bathroom slightly out of breath from struggling to zip my dress. “What’s up?” he said as he made his way through the door. “Could you please help me zip this dress, i can only get it halfway” “yeah of course baby”

He slipped behind me and slowly began zipping up the dress. Once he had finally zipped it all the way up he slid his hands around my hips and kissed the exposed skin on my shoulder and neck. “Chris we don’t have ti-“ “shh, I know, just trying to make a mental note of what’s happening when we get back” as if I hadn’t been turned on enough by the way his hands were roaming my body, the heat pooling in my underwear just grew more and more as he stood behind me and stared at us in the mirror.

Once we finally broke apart from each other and left the room, we made our way out to the limousine where many of our friends were sat waiting for us. “took you two long enough” Robert said as Chris climed and shut the door behind him. small talk was made amongst the group during the short ride to the event. The dress I was wearing was beautiful, and matched the green felt pants Chris had on

I had went for a felt dress as well, just so the colors would be a closer match.

Halfway there, Chris tapped on my thigh and pointed towards my phone. When i picked it up, I saw multiple messages from Chris all displaying the plans he had made for later that night.

“The way your body looks in that dress is making it hard for me to not take you right here in this car”

“you’re in for it when we get back, I can’t wait to taste you, hear those sweet noises you always make for me”

My eyes widened as I quickly turn the brightness down hoping no one was nosey enough to read the text. I shoot Chris a glare, one that says “seriously?” and he responds with his  signature smirk.

Finally, after what had felt like forever, we arrived to the conference, the second we stepped out of the car Chris grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze, reassuring me it’s okay. This wasn’t my first, but I still have quite a bit of nerves every time. We make our way into the building after tons of pictures and quick “i love you” glances to one another. We both took our seats, which luckily were right beside each other. Eventually the question began and the small pool of anxiety grew.

“This next one is for y/n, we heard you two got married, congratulations!” I slightly adjusted in my chair and crossed my legs towards Chris before replying “yes, we did, thank you!” “Of course, now this may be some what personal-“ great. I glanced at Chris and could tell he was focused on the person asking and he didn’t look to happy about it. “So many people have been wondering, how is he in bed? We’re sure he’s fantastic but we want to hear it from the one who gets to experience it.” There it was. The dreaded question of how he was in bed. Although he was fantastic and you thoroughly enjoyed sex with Chris, it wasn’t something you cared to share with the public.

“well, listen I don’t want to come off as rude by saying this but i’m not sure that’s really any of yours, or anyone else’s business besides ours.” Chris was furious, his eyes had slightly darkened and his jaw was clenched keeping him from losing his mind. “Can we please move on?” my voice came out slightly smaller than I had wanted but at the moment I felt uncomfortable and upset.

Chris on the other hand was pissed. He hated how uncomfortable the question made you feel and wanted to beat the shit out of the man who asked it. Instead, he looked at you with a sympathetic look and you responded by mouthing “it’s okay”, because you knew if you didn’t, Chris would kill this guy.

Once everyone had asked their questions, and many laughs had been shared, the group made their way back to the hotel. Chris and you were the first people out of the car and after sharing your goodbyes, he grabbed you by the hand and the two of you stormed up to your room. Before a word could be spoken between you and him he had you pinned against the door. His lips were on yours in seconds. The kiss was hot and sloppy, but you didn’t care at all. “Chris” you breathlessly moaned his name out. he responded with a hmm and continued to work his lips against yours.

He pulled away, his lips red, puffy, and stained with your lipstick. “We need to get this thing off if you” was the first words he said, spinning you around and unzipping the dress painfully slow. “Could you go any slower?” you questioned, usually you would be patient, but on this specific night you were extremely horny and needed him more than ever. “If you keep having that attitude i’ll go even slower” once the dress was off of you, Chris picked you up bridal style and dropped you on the bed. “You are the only woman who gets to know how I am in bed, fuck everyone else” he began kissing down your body. He pulled you up slightly, bringing his hands up the clasp of your bra and undoing it. His hands began to grasp and squeeze every part of you that was exposed.

“Chris please” you begged, your tone was needy but you didn’t care. “please what sweetheart?” He teased, “I need you” “what do you need? use your words” he continued to tease you through your underwear. “Fuck Chris just fuck me already” That was all he needed to hear. He quickly undid his belt and dropped him pants and his boxers, exposing his hard dick, already leaking with precum. He pulled down your panties taking in the sight of you. “you’re so beautiful, and all mine” he said as he stroked himself a few times. He parted your legs and began to tease your entrance with his tip. “Chris, I swear if you don’t-“ he leaned down and kissed your lips, hard and rough as he slid into you. both of you moaning into each others mouths. “that’s it, good girl” he grunted as he stared to slowly move in and out of you “Please, faster” you moaned making him fasten his movements. The noises coming from the two of you were all you could hear, and you were sure everyone else on the floor could hear it too. “oh my god Chris” “Oh fuck i’m close baby” He grunted in your ear “you’re taking my cock so well, taking all of me, fuck you’re so tight” That only made you squeeze around him, moaning his name as if it was the only word you knew. “Chris please don’t stop, i’m so close” you moaned “cum for me, come on baby” he said as he slid his hand between the two of you and began rubbing circles on your clit. “This. This is confidential. No one gets to know what I do to you” “oh yeah, that’s it sweet girl, cum for me i know you want to” was all he said and it sent you over the edge. You were a moaning screaming mess as you and him finished at the same time. His body rolling off of yours as you both steady your breathing

“That was , that was amazing” you breathed out turning over to look at him “only the best for you my love. I love you” He said pulling you into him “I love you more” was the last thing you said before the two of you drifted off to sleep.

[carehounds]

ok im gonna finally shed my skin and come off anon. heres some headcanons/general thoughts i think duck and harry/red are sort of like grandparents to the tertiaries. they go see theatre plays and go get ice cream. the secondary girls have a little garden in their backyard or smth that they all work together on. i think they grow a lot of pretty flowers and stuff for each other :] one of the few good things they have in puppet purgatory hell since the tertiary fellas are more child-like, i feel like theyd have much more basic lessons like "learn about animals" or "the importance of listening to your parents" or something like that. speaking of which id love to see them go through some internet safety lesson or something cuz theyre totally the type to accidentally find jumpscare videos and play can your pet or smth and as a bonus: all of the bird characters canonically look good in fancy dresses i think thank u for reading if u did. i love ur art sm keep up the amazing work!!! :]

I love these so so much!!!!!!

red and duck are definitely like grandpas to the tertiaries!!. they see them like, the old grumpy people from across the street

they don't really interact much though </3, red just sees them as probably yellows friends and duck is not that fond of them.

dandy does look up to red guy perhaps the same way as he does blue and he leaves little gifts on their doorstep but is too shy to give them stuff upfront. Jay is absolutely afraid of duck. Though they would love to see theatre plays if dandy wasn't so shy and jay wasn't so scared of duck

as far as red and duck know there are only two of them. they haven't seen or talked to sal yet.

yellow does know him however and he does often """""borrow"""" stuff from their house, from yellow. he lets him borrow stuff bc he thinks he's a cool guy and he sees him like, the shy older brother he never had

that gardening headcannon...... they def have a little garden in their house somewhere that they hang out in sometimes just a little bonding time tending to it. theyd even probably have an episode with it at one point with a teacher relating to it.. absolutely lovely

the tertiaries have more basic lessons but their teachers are actually really good at teaching them that basic stuff so they have a good grasp on basic morals that the other trios seem to lack. due to the nature that they're actually in a kid's show. theyre also definitely prone to those jumpscare videos sal would be the one playing them while the other two watch and get really scared

and as a little tidbit cardinal also sees duck as a grandpa but like this. this is their dynamic.

[kath-artic]

THOUGHTS !

i think the reason i revert to being 16-20 yr old me when im home is because i view that as a disposable version of myself. i was so beat down by others during that time that there was just so little Person left in me. it was almost all a reflection of others. i'm not that person anymore, but i have to wear that skin at home because it can be tarnished. i can't risk sullying the new me with old dirt, with old narratives. when i see my friends i shed that skin and become me again. i drove by myself at midnight on my birthday and still havent told my parents because that action was something only New me could do and i cant risk it being taken from me. i keep secrets because i want something that's mine. something that cant be made out as "annoying" or "embarrassing" or (even worse) claimed by someone else. my body issues come from the same place (no one can exploit your body if you dont have one. no one will ever treat me like cattle again if i banish that part of me). i think this is also why i cant forgive 16-20 year old me. or maybe it's the other way around. i'm thankful to her for being able to absorb so much hurt. i think i was stronger then than i am now. braver too. i just dont know what path to take. if i assimilate her into myself, i lose my shield and have to take the hits without any sort of defense. if i dont, then i continue to live in secret until i can escape and then find a way to accept her. the second option feels safer but idk. i feel like the first one might be the better option, but that it will begin explosively by nature. maybe theres a third way, i dont know. i just worry that the first option runs the risk of snuffing out the little bit of agency i have hidden away.

[pippuns]

hello pip seeing you are deeply into tai sui can i ask for your help in understanding cultivation? ive read a couple of different novels and webtoons talking about it but i feel like im missing something. is it that physical and mental diligence give you spirit superpowers?

yeah of course!! or at least what I understand about it since my knowledge comes from 2.5 cultivation novels and maybe too many fanfics, so if anyone wants to correct me, feel free to LOL

cultivation as a genre is a little like wizards/magic or fantasy as a genre, in that while there are certain genre staples, the rules can vary widely depending on how the author builds their world. 

usually, cultivation is advanced through meditation and training of one’s qi (the life force that exists in everything. sort of like chakra from naruto) with the goal of creating or building up one’s core/strengthening their spirit, which allows them to do funky fruity magic bullshit and life much longer than mortal people and/or become immortal. 

although the “end goal” of cultivation can change depending on the setting, generally people cultivate until they die or until they ascend into divinity. it’s often split up into early, middle, late, and peak stages, with each stage allowing the user to become more powerful spiritually and physically. some settings make the distinction between physical cultivators (people whose cultivation primarily focuses on building up the body), and spiritual cultivation (the inverse of that).

since you brought up tai sui specifically, I’ll briefly explain their cultivation system under the cut

1. the “i’m just a little guy” stage

the goal of this stage is more or less just to open your spiritual eyes which you need to cultivate. if you’re lucky enough to cultivate in an immortal sect, that just means you go to a highly spiritual place to refine your spiritual sense by meditation and studying a bunch. if you’re not lucky enough for that, just hope that you have access to enough spiritual stones to absorb their energy so that you don’t die horribly when you open your spiritual eyes LOL

2. open-eyed stage/half-immortals

these fellas can take spiritual energy into their bodies to use, but they haven’t established their foundation and found a Way of the Heart to follow to advance their cultivation. they’re still mortal, but they get to live for a couple hundred years, and if they want to continue cultivating past this point, then they spend that time searching for their Way and refining their spiritual bones

3. established foundation

once you found a Way to follow and base your cultivation on, you construct your immortal spirit and establish your foundation. now you’re actually immortal!! barring an unfortunate murder. and you’re really powerful compared to the two scrubs that came before.

4. ascended spirit

these guys have completely cast off their physical bodies and don’t really need to eat or anything like that. they’re almost the most powerful folks in the setting, but this will not stop them from getting relentlessly bullied by everyone else (qiu sha), even (and especially) if they’re peak masters

5. shed skin

these guys are like. whole natural disasters on themselves. super guys. basically gods. they are very big and very old and probably need to be bullied more.

[shadyufo]

Hello! I was recommend this blog.

Im new to preserving bones. I have trouble getting joint strings off from the bones. Any tips?

I had left a whole bird body in a bucket of water for many months. I dont remember how long, I put it in the shed and then forgot about it... Most of the meat was gone, just the skin and joints string.

English isnt my native language. I dont know what those strings are called.

Also. Do you need to put bones in soap water? I put some bones in hydrogen peroxide directly for few minutes because one blog said it will kill bacteria inside the bones. But should you first put them in soap water?

Thanks in advance.

Hi Anon!

Did you keep the water heated? Ideally, you want to keep maceration water ( maceration is the bone cleaning method where you just let a carcass rot in a container of water ) heated to about 85 degrees Fahrenheit. If you don't keep it warm then you often end up with bits of tissue which don't rot, such as those strings you are dealing with. Those sound like tendons.

You can try cutting them off or using to pliers to remove them by hand. But the easiest and most thorough option would be to macerate more and let them finish rotting off. If all of the other tissue has already rotted off then you may have to add something a little "fresher" to get the bacteria responsible for decomp going again. You can just toss some meat scraps, another fresher dead animal, or even a cheap bear or a cup or two of scuzzy pond water added to the maceration water will work. Then make sure to keep the water heated. You can use a fish tank heater or a bucket heater. Don't change the water until the rest of the tissue has rotted off.

You can give bones a bath in soapy water. If I'm cleaning up some bones that are just dirty ( and don't have any meat or hide left on them ) then I'll give them a bath in some warm, soapy water and a gentle scrub with a bristle brush to remove any dirt or debris. Then I'll go ahead with the peroxide. Doing this keeps the peroxide from getting as dirty so I can reuse it if I want. But skipping ahead to peroxide shouldn't hurt anything.

The other time you might want to use soap is if you are degreasing bones. Bones that need to be degreased will be free of any meat or hide but might still smell foul, feel greasy or sticky to the touch, or have yellow/brown/orange etc stains set in the bone. When I degrease I use a fish tank or bucket heater to keep the water between 85-110 degrees Fahrenheit and use a few squirts of a good grease-cutting dish soap like Dawn. Change the water as it becomes cloudy or develops a film on the surface. Once it starts staying clear, let the bones dry and check how they look and smell. Keep degreasing if necessary or move on to whitening with hydrogen peroxide.

So just to recap, the basic bone cleaning process is:

Remove flesh. There are several ways to do this—letting nature do the work for you, dermestid beetles, or maceration are some of the best methods in my opinion. For maceration, keeping the water heated to around 85 degrees Fahrenheit is ideal. Don't change the water until the tissue has rotted off the bones or you'll lose your bacteria colony and the process slows way down. Don't add any sort of soap to this water.

Degrease if necessary. Sometimes you can skip this step, just depends on the bones. But if once all of the meat and hide have rotted off the bones and they still smell bad or are discolored then you'll need to degrease. I like to degrease with hot water and soap using the previously mentioned process.

Final step is whitening. Only use hydrogen peroxide to whiten bones—never use chlorine bleach or you'll risk damaging or destroying the bones. I use plain old 3% hydrogen peroxide to whiten. Let the bones soak in the peroxide in an open container out in direct sunlight until the bones are as white as you want. Keep in mind they will dry whiter than they appear when wet if you are aiming for a certain shade. And exposure to sunlight will degrade the peroxide faster so you may have to add more as you go along but I've always gotten much better whitening results doing it this way so the trade-off is worth it in my opinion.

Hope that all makes sense and gives you some ideas of how to proceed with your project, Anon! If you have any other questions please feel free to ask and I'll do my best to help out. Good luck! :)

[alistairlowemybeloved]

i need people to steal reids leather jackets. why? isobel mentioned them and i, personally, wanted to steal at least one of them

I can logically see why no one has, but also i think gavin should. why gavin? isobel wont, even if shes wearing his clothes already and is in the best position to do so (knowing that reid was being kept captive in the tower) and alistair has tht vibe that he would wear a leather jacket but also never would. ithink hed be more likely to steal gavins leather jacket so this would be a two in one. idk he dresses mostly in sweaters and gavins vibe fits a leather jacket the best, actually, and yes ive decided this entierly arbitrarily

briony could of course wear a leather jacket but gavin would look more in accord with it. shes more of a blue jean jacket or a letherman jacket sort of person.

isobel would obviously look great with a leather jacket - she looks great in anything, but leather jackets arent really the icy skin, undeadly pale vibe

finley... idk it could contrast his golden boy image i guess but hes genuenly a nice guy and i feel like hed be better of with a long coat, maybe a dark kinda muted blue

what jacket would be best on isobel? im not sure i think she fits best with a black jean jacket maybe, of course shed rock a fine cloak as well

alistair would indeed go well with a long black coat but also he wouldnt, mans too clumsy and would actually go with just a normal jacket, probably the aviators sort just. bombers more thta style. why do i think so? i dunno. anywy hendry is wearing the swishy black coat with a white shirt underneth out of the two of them, alistair would somehow get it stuck in a branch and several doorknobs

[apr1cots]

it’s good to be king

The mirror was cracked. Broken. Slashed from one corner to its opposite. From where Draco sat, it cut his face in two. The charm still worked, and he couldn’t pretend it wasn’t the sole reason for his visit. His solemn trek from the small garden shed that was supposed to be temporary, but had been his only lodging for much longer than he cared to admit, was always silent and pitiful. 

The magic of the Manor was broken: beyond repair, he feared. He couldn’t bring himself to attempt reparations.The shredded tapestries, cracked walls, and deserted portraits reminded him of that in which he’d taken part. Somewhere, deep inside, relief flared almost like hope at the attestation that he could still feel something, even if it was guilt that sizzled in his blood, and loneliness that pulled his bones apart. 

When he reached his childhood bedroom, the now dulled greens and silvers that had once been so comforting whispered their welcome and tempted him never to leave again. To Draco’s credit, the thought made him sick. 

He sat in front of the mirror. It had once been so full of joy. He remembered vividly the day it had cracked. He’d escaped to his room, panicked and desperate and scared. He’d stared in the mirror, seeing his reflection there as it always was. Pleasant, rich, royal, crowned. The mirror was charmed to show him as a Prince. As above the rest. No matter how he looked in reality, there in the mirror he was everything his selfish child-self had dreamed. Swathed in silks and velvets, perfectly rested and beautiful. Otherworldly in a way. 

That day, the day he’d been marked, he’d stared in the mirror and seen that perfect, unmarred Draco. Smooth skin, not a flaw. But the image had come to represent something he hated. He’d flung a curse at the perfect glass, surrounded in silver and crystal, desperate to see the truth. To see the dark shadows under his eyes and the death permanently branded on his arm. 

It hadn’t worked. Prince Draco had stared back, almost smiling. Broken Draco had cried, sobbed, but couldn’t see his own tears. 

Now, Draco sat in front of the mirror once again. Once again, relishing in his imaginary reign. Older now, his crown was larger, his robes more intricate. 

It was good to be king. 

Draco never knew how long he spent in front of the mirror, but was loath to admit that no matter how early he arrived, by the time he escaped the Manor, his cloak was the stars. 

He returned to his shed, ate his plain crackers and expiring cheese and laid in his simple bed, willing sleep to take him. He imagined his mirror image, retreating to a banquet of fine foods, courses of delicacies, surrounded by a fawning mass. 

When Draco woke, time eluded him. Dark clouds dampened the light filtering in and his bones ached. He yearned, but he didn’t know what for. It was exhausting to sleep and exhausting to be awake.

wip mondeeeee???? 

im trying to write again for the sake of my soul or perhaps the destruction of it and i thought what a fun place to start but in your own WIPs and then i read them all and idk where the h e double hockey sticks i was going w it but maybe if i post it ill be inspired to pick it up in some sort of direction, correct or not. i dont even remember how harry played into this all, but he’s there in this world somewhere waiting to whisper to me where he lives.

[parasolids]

look its been a year and two days since i started this job which is also my first real engineering irl job and its led to a lot of changes to who i am as a person bc ive never been someone with an irl office job before so im reflective so im posting.

ANYWAYS i think like. i do feel very lonely and isolated, bc i hardly have any friends at this point or people im close to etc etc. i miss dicking around with friends on discord and i miss study sessions and just hanging out with my friends irl in real life and i hardly feel like a person, but also when you get super lonely you really start to notice the way your life intersects with others'... i remember in 2018 i had just as little irl contact with people, and i noticed every little thing. a classmate steadying my desk when i almost fell out of it, etc. and now i think im sort of doing the same noticing the way my coworkers and i interact with each other. making fun of each other and stuff. we're all in our 20s so we're pretty much all just friends. the electrical specialist took the plastic spider off my desk while i had covid and put it on the industrial engineer's desk and was like hey just hold on to this; i got a good laugh out of it when i came back and saw it on her desk, and then again when he hid the spider in my backpack lol. we share ibuprofen, ask each other about our meals, we spend all day trash talking each other over imessage 8 ball on our work phones. i came out to my coworker as nonbinary, and then he was keeping my secret and encouraging me while i was trying to come out to our other coworker and gave me a fist bump when i finally got it out. my other coworker first asked if i wanted to go by a different name (i didn't, my legal name is gender neutral already) and then said "yeah thats totally cool, i understand, i still think the same thing of you though which is that you need more friends"

and im lonely and i think i want more friends too. and i think i'm ready to shed the skin i've been carrying for the past three years. become someone more confident, someone okay with being in their skin, someone who doesn't feel out of place among others. like that one song: come out of your shell, come into the light

[wall-e-gorl]

old v new

just want to talk about the differences between these two pieces :] casual essay under the cut

first off, in the nine months between making the first one and redoing it i have a) learned how to make space backgrounds in a way that i am very fond of, b) picked up a textured brush, and c) have gained some more understandings of my layer modes

now. i didnt like make a new piece and start over from scratch. i keep a save of the art with layers and a save of the art i can post. i have a whole system, is why my art always have a 1 at the end if youve ever looked at the file names. the only thing i completely changed is the background. got rid of the stars added my space and readded stars and added the moons. and some glow at the bottom.

other than that i color shifted the ship wall theyre leaning against to be more purple than green, and did some heavy blurring and smudging on the lighting and changed the layer modes. i had left the group layer modes on the wrong setting (pass through vs normal) and it dimmed all the work i did so much. because of that i actually had to go back, after i fixed it, to tone down a lot of the lighting i did, especially on the faces. i took my big textured brush (which i also used for the background. deceptively simple to do that actually) and just set it to eraser mode and did a few taps over the spots that needed it. i used the same method on the moon actually, i just made a white circle and duplicated it and erased it with a tap and it ended up like that.

anyway all of that is to say that the little changes really changed the whole, like effect of the piece. before, everything felt really flat and i was disappointed in how the lighting showed up, but i thought there was nothing i could do. the back lighting was a last minute decision and it looked cool but also a bit out of place. it was a great concept but i didnt have all the technical skills and the right eye for what i wanted. i had actually drawn it before and gone no i need to try harder and do better with this actually. i went hard into the anatomy and lighting, but fell the the side on the background.

which is what i went into this time, and what helped give it the effect it has now. they arent as flat with the improved lighting, the background has depth and actually looks like its a night sky, the moons give context for the back light, and its no longer all the some sort of contrast.

in the before they kind of blended into everything else because it was all given the same emphasis in contrast. if you step back and squint the only things that stand out are fjord's lighter green skin and jesters skin. not the worst things to stand out ofc, thats their faces on the most part. but in the after, its their whole bodies (and the moon) that stand out and thats what i want.

one thing i didnt expect to see, when i set them next to each other, was to think that the newer one seemed smaller than the other. they look smaller, when i didnt resize them at all. i didnt touch the line art, except to put it on a multiply layer and to make it a color other than black (almost black green and almost black blue). that, plus the enhanced lighting, and surprisingly the moon in the back also makes the moment sadder and more lonely? which is the exact mood in the actual scene im portraying, where jester and fjord have a talk and jester sheds her happy mask for a moment to share her sadness and loneliness at leaving her mom. in the new piece they are surrounded by darkness, with the only visible features being themselves lit by the moon and the moon itself. in the older piece the sky is lighter and filled with stark stars that negate that effect completely. With all that starkness consolidated into the single white moon, it feels as though the moon is a third figure in the scene that, since it is addressed and centered, makes it so that any notion of any other audience moot. the moon is the only audience for the moment between them and its indifferent (not a stand in for us, because we are not indifferent). Ruidus is there as well, because of what we know about it now. all the forboding and negitive enegery around it, and having placed it above jester, shows that its a serious, if beautiful, moment of her, again, showing sadness and loneliness, non-positive emotions.

anyway all of this is to just say: look at what i did! isnt it neat how i did it. look at the very cool side effect it caused! wow im so proud of that, isnt it so cool.

i also think itd perhaps be a really cool card for jester and molly's oracle deck, im thinking connection and then upside down is loneliness. idk i havent looked at the cards and their meanings and the specific art yet, i just thought id be cool cause of the connection/loneliness theme of jester that kinda first shows its face to us with this moment

if youve read all of this i love you

[blackvahana]

me sitting here looking through linguistics stuff to replace the ' in Rata'gra to better suit the sound because ' is overused... only to find out that its probably a glottal stop and those tend to be represented with '

anyway. now is indeed time to incubate Rata'gra, which is what i was going to say before going on a linguistic adventure. i can feel half my own skin making their form, which. is obviously going to shed once made but. yippie!

the whole Sky Break is in the middle of night at the moment I. think... relatively speaking... more like in a black dry dust storm of a Rain Storm of a night. im sort of not touching it rn lmfao its a closed and on dishwasher rn. but. oh. time-involved magic. yes. got the hashtag Download earlier, the cross-time making of the... we'll say groundskeeper. Ill probabllyy give details when theyre more formed but with how talkative I am right now I wouldn't be surprised if I ramble beforehand

[freyito]

Can I request about Bi han, Kuai Liang and Tomas' reactions to readers who sacrificed their lives for them?

(The reader rushed in to take the attack on their behalf and the reader was seriously injured and almost died, something like that.)

✧ a/n: hmmmmm HMMMMMMMMMMM... i have a MASSIVE piece im working on for all the men in mk1 for a reader who ALMOST dies, so unfortunately in this one. reader does die. a little angst never hurt nobody, right? :P

I ALSO CHOKED UP A LITTLE WRITING TOMAS' LOWKEY ITS 5 AM WHO LET ME WRITE THAT

🗒 cw: gn reader, reader dies, descriptions of death, descriptions of wounds, blood/gore, angst, hurt/no comfort, hints at depression, grief/grieving, suicidal ideation(?), not proofread

✎ wc: 1589

ᴛʜᴇ ʟɪɴ ᴋᴜᴇɪ ᴛʀɪᴏ + ᴀ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴡʜᴏ ꜱᴀᴄʀɪꜰɪᴄᴇᴅ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʟɪꜰᴇ

⎯ Bi-Han

Bi-Han should’ve seen it coming. That’s his first thought. Kombat is second nature to him, he feels as if he rarely fails. He’s independent, as well. Even with the Lin Kuei,– With you– he takes on more enemies he can chew sometimes. He’s stubborn, that way. To him, kombat is his entire life. He’s known the thrill of shedding blood at a young age, a dagger piercing a heart, a sword breaking skin. To him, there’s no need for reinforcements. He simply stands it. He knows the rules of battle far too well, every scar engraved into his skin a testament to that. So when the sword meant for him pierces your flesh, he is left… dumbfounded, in a way.

The next few days for him blur together. In fact, the minute he saw your blood, his mind went blank. He tries not to think about you in any way, because he is only met with the image of a sword driven through your torso, twice over. It feels like perhaps that blade was meant for you. Having to juggle the Lin Kuei and his beloved’s death takes a toll on him. He can put on a stoic face and continue his regular duties, but behind closed doors, he’s a mess.

Bi-Han doesn’t know what to do. The absence of you next to him, how empty the bed feels– how empty the world feels, it’s a haunting reminder. He finds no joy in anything, his anger bubbles over. Because he is afraid he acknowledges this sadness, he’ll lose himself. He’s a little more volatile, he’s less forgiving with the trainees, and he’s easy to take advantage of in kombat.

It is only after your funeral that he finally breaks. He held himself together quite well, despite being faced with your lifeless body, bloodless and horrifyingly still. And yet your face, oh so peaceful, as if nothing had happened. As if your blood had not coated Bi-Han’s hands. Blame is the only word on his mind, for days upon days he looks almost as lifeless as you did, his eyes dead and vacant. Nobody is home. He even starts to be less harsh on the Lin Kuei– even apologetic.

Finally, he cries. Late at night, curled up in bed. He feels pathetic, weak. Because he couldn’t save you, he can’t even remember what had happened, really. His mind forces the sequence of events out, every single one, except your blood stained torso, the sword having pushed its way all the way through, and the warmth of your blood coating his hands. He finds comfort in nothing, his days become increasingly dull. And when he cries, it feels as if he’s bleeding. His chest hurts, he cries until he’s coughing, until he’s dry heaving. Tears stain his face, they burn, his throat hurts from how much he’s begged, pleaded, prayed, that you would come back. That it was all some sort of dream. Unfortunately, Bi-Han is trapped within reality, an empty bed, a life lost of its warmth.

⎯ Kuai Liang

In battle, Kuai is balanced, he likes to believe. He can watch over himself, and he’s very perceptive. So when a sickle comes swinging at him, it’s you who he’s surprised to see. He’s ready and willing to accept his death. There is no greater honor than to die in kombat. He’d lament about leaving you and Tomas behind… but to see you so willingly take the blow, all he can think of is how proud he is of you. Before the stinging pain of loss grabs him by the throat. He cleans up the fight quickly, for once, he allows his heart to take the lead in kombat rather than his mind. He knows he shouldn’t, but every second counts.

Regardless, he’s too late. A jagged, uneven, deep slice to your neck. You bled out, aware of the battle that had raged around you. That is not the way Kuai wanted you to go, it’s something he grieves over separately. The reality of the situation hits him like a train. He finds himself unable to even stand properly. Everything reminds him of you, and nothing Tomas does to console him ends in a success. He operates on auto-pilot, unable to bring himself back to the present. He doesn’t want to. He won’t. He tries to shove the scene down in his mind, but no matter what he does, your bloodied face is staring right back at him.

With nothing else to quell his growing sadness, he trains. He thinks it’s anger that’s gnawing at him, clawing at him and ripping him apart. That, all he needs to do is take it out on a training dummy. Yet, each strike does nothing to take away the pain. In fact, his anger continues to rise. He takes a step back. And he understands.

At your funeral, Kuai is stone-faced. He doesn’t emote, he doesn’t show any sign of emotion. But he is afraid, truthfully. There are all sorts of emotions warring within him. It takes everything within him to not cry. Yet, when he looks at your face, he feels a sense of peace. Suddenly, everything is okay. It’s soothing, in a way. Knowing that now you are far away from the realm of kombat, of war, of duty. And the feeling of pride rises once more. He reminds himself that you died a warrior's death, something he couldn’t deny. No matter how much he wished he could change the outcome.

So, he continues to live on. Kuai Liang wants nothing more than to wallow, sob, scream out your name, bring you back by whatever means. But at the same time, he knows he must continue. In his own way, it is to honor you, as well. Recovery is not linear, and he will stumble. He will hurt, he will cry, he will fall. But he has to get up. It is how the world goes, he reminds himself. Not to mention the Shirai Ryu, they need a strong leader. He can lament all he wants, but your sacrifice has brought him a second chance at life. He will not ruin it.

⎯ Tomas Vrbada

Stealth is Tomas’ specialty. But when a mission goes awry, he’s a deadly opponent as well. He does not fail often, he is a deft hunter. Yet, somehow, for some reason lost to him, he had missed his mark. A single archer, positioned somewhere along the wall of the rampart. An arrow struck through your throat, an uncomfortable, horrid gagging and moaning slipping from your mouth. And suddenly, Tomas’ focus is broken. The archer has slipped away– it seems that you were their target. And he finds that unforgivable. Cowardly, even. But he does not chase. He won’t. 

He speaks to you as you bleed out, time is short, and he can’t get you to medics right away. But, pulling out the arrow is not an option either. He tries his best to comfort you, pushing back his own tears. He’d rather have you die with something, someone by your side. Even if words are meaningless, there is some peace sought out within them. And when you take your last, harsh, pained breath, Tomas relaxes. But he isn’t happy, of course. Far from it. The battle is over, and he is met with the face of loss once more.

Tomas knows grief by heart. Losing someone he’s loved, it is a feeling he revisits every waking day. Yet, he hadn’t been graced with a fresh wound like this in some time. He… doesn’t know what to do. Perhaps it is because he has forced his own emotions down, he does not know. Regardless, his world shifts, an inch off the center. Nothing is sure, nothing is right. The stars at night do not shine as brightly as they did when you were present, the moon does not seem as ethereal, the sun holds no other purpose than a light in the absence of yours. 

Your funeral paints over the image Tomas had often dreamed of, A modest celebration, a ring on your finger, a beautiful bouquet. It doesn’t matter how peaceful you look, he is forever haunted by the choking in your throat, the blood running from your mouth, your neck, coating your torso as he stood helpless. He is sullen, he sulks the entire time. But none blame him. Part of him wants nothing more than to climb into your casket and curl up next to you, hug you. Perhaps he wants to be buried with you, or perhaps he is seeking out that last bit of touch, before you become another one of his routine visits.

Tomas is… broken, understandably. He shuts himself away, hiding from his brother and Hanzo every so often. And when he is with either of them, he doesn’t emote much, he doesn’t talk much, he is gone. He feels like a husk, living dead. And when people point it out, he tries his best, oh, how hard he tries. He tries to be all smiles and sunshine, he overdoes it sometimes. He wants to live on in your memory, of course. But, your death instills a fear within him. Attachment, remembering and knowing that death will always be looming around the corner, ready to take. And take. And take. As it always does. As it always will. Tomas will get better, he will heal. But, he will grieve all the same. He will lead his life with you in his heart, same with his family.

© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[acethatlovesdinos]

Tw: vent, female body dysmorphia? (Idk I don't have an official diagnosis). description of feminine anatomy (boobs). I'm not asking for pity, I'm just spitting words out because I feel the need to make them known. A confession, of sorts. And maybe it'll help some of you feel less alone in your own journey.

~~~~~~

I'm not pretty.

I'm aware of the fact. Never really have been. Not exactly the textbook definition of "attractive" when I look in the mirror.

I dont feel unloved, I think that's a different thing. I know i have caring friends and family who have my back, but it's still not quite what Im getting at.

I hate mirrors. Specifically the big ones in the bathroom before I shower. I look at myself, my eyes taking in every flaw.

I used to be bigger, you see, and I do feel much better having lost a significant amount of weight but that in itself brought upon an entirely new type of insecurity.

At least when I was a larger size my shape was "normal," per se, in that i expected and understood that physique well.

I had gotten a gastric sleeve surgery (make stomach smaller so you can absorb less food, thus losing weight in a more "natural" manner). Considering my morbidly obese state at the time, it was a necessary adjustment for the sake of my own health.

Dont get me wrong, I'm happy with what I've done. It's been a massive change and I feel so much better from both a physical and mental perspective.

but oh boy, I never could have expected the kind of insecurity that accompanied rapid weightloss.

it was incredible for a while, watching my clothes fit looser and feeling like I had more energy. my mental health improved drastically. truly, this was one of the best decisions I ever made, and I dont think Id change it if given the chance. I do want to make that clear, my current feelings are just a bit of a side effect.

quickly shedding pounds means that your body doesnt really get a chance to re-absorb that loose skin. what once was round, fatty pudge has now become loose, dangling flab. it hangs over my waist, accentuating my gut and making it still look larger than it is. Unfortunately, the weight I've lost isnt enough to properly constitute those surgeries to remove the loose skin that exists, so I'm sort of just...stuck with it. Im still certainly not skinny by any means, but I feel as though I'd be a size or two smaller if that extra flab wasn't there.

My hips and thighs didnt change a whole lot, so I remain with a bottom-heavy, pear shaped form with a waist several inches behind my hips. pants are a struggle to find a comfortable fit as a result.

It doesnt really strike much thought at first, but I was pretty quick to remember that breasts are composed mostly of fat and soft tissue. One of the first places to start showing a decrease in size? yeah. My chest wasn't particularly huge in proportion to my body anyway, and they only got smaller. that's a blow to the self-esteem if ive ever seen one. ever try shopping for a 40A bra? they aren't very common.

Oh, and what I said before about loose skin? that applies there too. there's no shape, it just sort of...sags pathetically. it could almost be compared to the "boobs" of an obese man with the way they sit, and the thought disgusts me.

all in all im sagging, loose, and not what someone would call a pretty sight...ever. It makes me fear the longevity and even possibility of future relationships, because who would want something like this?

my only saving grace is when I take a closer look at myself. Look closer in the mirror, look at my face. that seems to be the only part of myself im mostly okay with.

I've got a soft, round face, dusted with a natural blush and a gentle chin. my ears arent too big, and ive got a little dimple when my mouth moves the right way.

pale blue eyes provide the only pop of color on my otherwise pale, boring body, a cloudy shade of slate with a ring of green around the pupil. I dont want to sound basic, bit they really do seem to change under the sun. hooded eyelids occasionally cause makeup to be frustrating, but i only wear the stuff on special occasions anyway so it's not exactly a huge deal for me.

My glasses help to frame my face, a cute but necessary prop(bc i am blind lol), with the added bonus of helping to hide the tired circles under my eyes.

A lot of people seem insecure about their noses, but mine has been mostly unproblematic throughout my experience with it.

I've had a surprising number of people comment on my "perfect lips" (a few ladies who helped me with makeup), bringing up the defined Cupid's Bow and naturally plump shape, a soft pink hue that exists all on its own. I never really thought much of it until someone told me.

My hair has always been a fickle thing, and I've had a bit if a love-hate relationship with it until fairly recently. I've found that I like it bobbed at my chin, where its light enough that the natural curls can have a strong effect. the most product I tend to use is this nice-smelling leave-in conditioner, which just helps to tone down the frizziness. I love the way the curls frame my chin and jawline, and it coils into these thick, beautiful springs after it dries from a shower. it's so soft and I love to run my fingers through it when it's been freshly cleaned. The current color is a dark purple, that looks almost black indoors, but it nearly lights up when the sun hits it. its natural color is a deep brown, and i still do like it, I just thought a bit of color would be nice for once.

Ive got moles and marks everywhere, but that's never bothered me. the little brown spots are fun, and a few of them on my arm can even be traced into a perfect arch.

the most unique aspect of my appearance is this...little patch of tiny moles in the center of my throat. The patch is only about a centimeter in full area, and it's covered in little raised brown bumps. Oddly enough, this part of my body has never been something I felt ashamed of, as the little patch of marks were one of the many things that made me, me.

So maybe my body isnt perfect. it's not the ideal shape, nor size, nor whatever else, but I guess there's some things about it that I dont mind so much.

[glowstone23b]

OKAY HI semi sentient elytra thingies from phanon (phanon blog reveal) urs truly

Given the end is like. suuuper weird and alien. (I also hc endermen to be former ancient builders mutated because of eating chorus fruits when they got stuck in the end) almost nothing is like how you expect it to be there and that goes for elytras too

When they latch onto a user, over a period of time they’ll sink these tendrils into the shoulder blades and connect in with the blood etc and begin to sort of leech off you while trying to give you flying benefits + higher reaction times to stuff in exchange 🗣️

yk how when butterflies or moths emerge from cocoons and need a minute to pump blood thru their wings so they can get them to work?? Thats how that works !! meaning elytras take a second to slowly slowly adjust to the host and form wings that are best suited for them

now onto the mutation parts 1!1!1

sage (my oc) began to repair her elytra using phantom scales which phantoms shed naturally instead of killing them for membrane.

these worked .surprisingly really well . and she hardly noticed the fact that the elytra began to slowly mutate her

This was because the elytra sort of assumed— that due to the sudden bits of phantom scales, that they were biologically from her and that she was some sort of phantom-like hybrid person, and began trying to restore what wasn’t there, hence Sage getting a few phantom-like features

Also to note that while the mutations can change a few bits both behaviourally, physically and mentally they never really fully change the person? as in you won’t start going ham on ppl now that you’re partly a mob is what im saying (like Sage doesn’t have to worry about getting blinded by the sun despite being technically part phantom but being around bright lights can cause an eventual headache)

After like a fair few months of never removing the mutated elytra they eventually just. they’re never able to come off afterwards and just fully fuse into the host 👍yes this causes problems with wearing shirts and jackets

also sage oc reveal HUZZAH . dont look too hard at the anatomy i havent drawn a thing in months (shes in her pyjamas too) (my girl is not a morning person)

also yeah sometimes her phantoms try to preen her and it usually ends up scratching her skin ajdbekfjfk

DID YOU DRAW THAT JUST FOR THIS ASK

Also hello blog reveal I was already following you somehow 😂 loving your oc. Loving her

I also love tinkering with winged clothes concepts (like for people whose elytras have fused to them) so they snap or button or velcro in the back or something you know? Good stuff!

What if the elytra (after having been fully fused, I guess, but early users apply too) runs out of durability? Are the wings something you yourself can feel once they’ve fused with you, or is it more like… a neurological thing, where the elytra just know what you’re thinking? That way, it can move you in that direction! Could you feel them as an extension to your body? If they get hurt, would you be able to feel it as if it were your arm or something, or would it be numb? If you run out of durability on fused elytras, is that something you could ever fix? Would you be able to get a new pair if you hadn’t been fused yet? Would you have to try to cut off your old elytra to replace it if you *were* fused? So many questions (and no need to answer at all if you don’t feel like it but. I love this sort of stuff. That’s so cool! I have so many theories :))

For mutations, could you potentially *pick* how your elytra form to look on you? Like, if you tried to repair your elytra using a combination of some standard repair materials (phantom membranes, occasionally scales) as well as some other thing (like parrot feathers, for instance), could you possibly get the elytra to take on a form you’d prefer? Is it standard for everyone, or does it just assign you some sort of look to your wings (person A is butterfly, person B is dragon, etc.)? Sorry for all the parentheses. I have too many thoughts. I digress. If so, it’d be kinda fun seeing people change their wings as they grow or as their preferences change. People with parrot wings repairing with different colored feathers to ‘dye’ them in a sense, or some people mixing ingredients to get hybrid-looking elytra!

I like your endermen became endermen because of chorus fruits thing! I guess… if builders back in ye olden days managed to get to the end and LIVE, they’d have no real way back unless they defeated the dragon, so chorus fruit would be their only source! I think being in the end has gotta be weird, like in my head there’s zero wind or sounds, and the temperature is extremely neutral. Not hot or cold or anything, just kind of stagnant. Another alternative would be slightly chilly, but it might be less of a temperature thing and more of a ‘hey you’re in a different dimension, this isn’t normal’ sort of thing your body’s telling you. Eating a chorus fruit would be interesting, too! Teleporting? And it can also be popped! I feel like it’d have the texture of peaches or mushrooms, but after popping it you can make bricks out of it! What on earth sort of properties??? Idk, chorus fruit is neat though :)

I love your theories, so thank you for sharing!!! Your art rules???? That phantom design is so freaking sick????? I imagine them puffing up their wings like toothless from httyd trying to do that dance thing… silly babies, but the glowy markings help. I am also stealing Sage’s jammies, I love the kitties.

Anyways. Thank you for introducing Sage to me officially (as well as your blog) :). Hello, the both of you! Do you care for names/pronouns? Are phanon/invention alright? Cause I can start a tag for ya if you’d like!! I will throw art in your general direction too if you ever feel like it! Have a good day, I got a flight to catch!!